#bc it tastes like A Soup without adding anything at all to it

[seveneyesoup]

i cant believe the creator of shin ramen is dead so i can never suck his dick for creating something as satisfying + tasty + low effort as shin ramen

[zouislover]

my sister is also my best friend and bane of my existence hahaha, i also have a younger brother who is closer to my age and like we’re close yes but also he’s a straight tech bro who loves to argue for fun, so we don’t have a TON in common and we hang out less than i do with my sister. then again my sister and i are extremely codependent so i don’t do much without her.

yesss i love that movie so much! and yes my parents got married in a snowy cabin in the mountains on new year’s eve with chinese food :’) and then waited a month and a half to have their reception on valentine’s day bc they’re Extra.

i actually love to cook a lot so i have lots of recipes, but i do love like a penne alla vodka, or maybe just a homemade tomato sauce and dollops of ricotta. the other night i made a meat sauce and penne and then layered it with italian cheese in a casserole dish and topped with cheese and breadcrumbs before baking. that turned out pretty good! i also like making tomato sauce that has blended up carrots and spinach, still totally smooth and tastes a bit sweet. i love vegetables but sometimes i want them hidden lol. my mom and i also make a very simple beet sauce that’s super good. and ofc i love making a classic fettuccini alfredo aaannnyyytime of the year.

oooo i love being cozy too!! esp when u have a fireplace aaaaa. i do love soup, my mom makes soup every sunday and it’s always a different kind. my favourite is her savoury pumpkin soup topped with crème fraîche and toasted pumpkin seeds oh my god its incredible. last sunday she just made chicken noodle which is also very good.

those holidays sound super cool! festival of the lights sounds soo beautiful omg. what types of foods do u have during them? happy belated diwali! i miss home during my fav holidays too, i’m from a little forest town in the mountains so nowhere in the world will ever feel as cozy in the winter.

anything interesting on the agenda this week? i’m hoping we’ll go to this fancy hotel that has a huge christmas tree because that also makes me feel verrryyy festive! ❄️🌸

hellooo beloved 💙 sorry for the terribly late reply!

not ur brother getting the classic middle child treatment ah 😭😭 but yeah there's nothing that can match ur relationship with ur sister and especially as an elder sister, it's even more special when they come to u for things and share their life with u. it almost makes u feel special and trusted and i love that. what's the most favourite memory u have with ur sister? 👀

ur parents are so romantic and cute oh my god i love that for them 😭 like that is such a movie romance thing for them to get married in a snowy cabin with chinese food and then having a reception on valentine's 💙

stop those recipes sound SO good ahhh now i'm craving a good bowl of pasta all over again. i do love the penne alla vodka (but i make it without the vodka 😬) and i love love love pesto too. this one time a few months ago i made a pesto pasta with cherry tomatoes and baby mozzarella and it was truly so good! i love having veggies in my pasta so best believe i will be adding all the veggies possible to it! the sauce with carrots and spinach sounds very delicious i want to try it now. my mum makes this dal (lentil soup that we have with rice) with spinach in it and it's my absolute favourite thing in the world.

i have not yet lived in a place with a fireplace but definitely yes! the best vibes ever ever. ur mom definitely makes the best soups ever those recipes all sound so so good 😭

we make loads of sweets and snacks for diwali! my favourites are : chakli (it's rice flour + gram flour + spices fried into a spiral shape) and holige (it's basically wheat flour tortilla (or have u heard about naan?) stuffed with a mixture of boiled chickpea and jaggery). my mum makes loads of other things too but these are my most favourite during diwali!

during ganesh chathurthi the most traditional sweet is called modak which is basically a dumpling with grated cocunut and sugar syrup filling. it comes both steamed and fried and i love love love it!

ooh i love forest towns! they have such a mystic and serene air to them and they get so cosy during the winters 🥺

i just had a christmas party yesterday and i won a bunch of prizes so i'm very pleased with that! this weekend i might go get some shopping done and look at the christmas decorations across the city! please do let me know if u go see the christmas tree! when do ur christmas holidays begin and are u excited to relax for a bit?

[siriusmydeer]

can you please do headcanons for young sirius black x reader fic where reader has really bad anixety attacks where sometimes she feels nauseous

breathe with me

sirius black x gender neutral!reader

summary: sirius helps you through an anxiety attack.

word count: 1.7k

warnings: MENTIONS OF VOMITING!!, mentions of gagging, anxiety/anxiety attack, over stress, mentions of digging nails into your palms (borderline indications), mentions of failing school/exams, migraines, mentions of pain killers, mentions of feeling gross, possible insecurity, sirius comforting reader

a/n: so i turned this into a fic rather than hc’s because i felt like i could portray it better through a fic. also dedicated to isa ( @acosmis-t ) my love bc i cant write so thank u baby for helping me !

“Argh.” You piercingly groaned with a hand lowered to your febrile forehead, a feverish burn arising to the skin. The day had steadily been cut close to the final bell. Your Transfiguration exam had finally been completed and not without weary, of course. The prior nights you had been found asleep with drool pooling down your tear-tainted cheek and your talons promptly sunken into your palms as a desperate endeavour to relieve your stress. (Although it had not been the best choice, and at some points rather painful)

The piling books glared fiercely at you in the library till Madam Pince undoubtedly had to beckon you away, so you could sufficiently rest. Indeed then, your unconscious mind was piled in dreadful dreams (More-so nightmares) regarding critical failure and your pleaded requests to Mcgonagall, so you could re-attempt your failed exams. 

Your polished nails had been essentially glued to your pearly teeth, chomping at the rarebit till there was nothing left to bite. The strums of your heart steadily increased as the last final students had cautiously worked on their assessments. You had patiently waited, subtly noticing your brawny throat becoming excessively dry as well as well as your diaphragm contracting by the minor second, an indistinguishable bile substance threatening to overtake the taste buds on your parched tongue.

A small, minuscule tap in the nape of your skull had increased to small needles swimming around your brain while the time ticked. 

Sirius had been sitting in Charms flipping away at ‘Quidditch Through the Ages’ anxiously as he had to withhold himself from darting nervously out of his class and inquire how you were feeling with a knowing sense of how the rest of the day would take place. He had been made quite aware of your particular issue in the Third Year when you had disgorged your lunch, Shepherd's Pie that you had previously eaten had been hurled onto his Oxford’s his noble family spent a pretty penny to purchase. 

At McGonagall's constructive dismissal, you had collected your materials and begun to walk cautiously through the corridors with your books clutched eagerly to your chest. 

A slight increase in your breaths began to inflate your lungs and the steadily increasing heart strums became an overwhelming palpitation deafening your ears. Your heart had battered in your chest; nearing closer, and closer to your dormitory. Your hands had begun to develop a slight tremor at the anxious vibrations poisoning your blood, whilst your vision began to mildly obscure. You needed a moment to recollect yourself, a minute to breathe.

You had murmured a small, ‘Fairy Lights’ to the portrait before trudging up the stairs and colliding into the dormitory. The hinges had creaked whilst you abruptly had shut the door, luckily nobody was present to allegedly witness your exertion. Your bedroom had frequently remained tidy, a typical symptom of your anxiety that had obsessively pursued you to attempt your very hardest, even better than your very hardest, at everything and anything. 

You had stood center in your room venturing for the hostile seizing in your bones to cease for at least a moment. Your chest had felt tight, like a tensed muscle that had been pulled after an unusually hard sport.

You had walked toward your window and back Window, and back. Window, and back. Again, Again and Again.

Your nails are placed between the mild edges of your teeth. The cavern of your mouth almost feeling obstructed by the bile mingling around with your parched throat. At the incessant pacing of your feet, there had been a remaining thud in your thick skull adding to your misery. 

The small gust of wind was the singular audible sound in the dormitory as one of your dorm mates had abandoned it open. Your brain had felt like it swelled beyond generating capacity now your mild dehydration was too obvious to ignore like you had planned to do. You had deliberated with your eyes closed and your face contorted into a frown, you would’ve had to trudge to the kitchens for a possible amount of comfort in your state. You had groaned again, your hand promptly placed over your face, as you traipsed across the room, attempting to comfort yourself, in a sense.

Perhaps some painkillers spewed on the bathroom counter that you had previously taken before your exam could help you. Your neck had begun to sear in heat the hair that was almost clung to your nape, you raised your heavy eyelids halfway only for them to fall shut a twinging pain beginning to naturally arise behind your optics. You huffed with a minuscule gag, too much effort it would take to stroll around the school in the huffing state you were currently in, a migraine still revelling in your mind. Maybe later, you thought with a creased brow. You had heard the hinges creak again, incorrectly assuming one of your dorm mates had been back. Except your dorm mates didn’t possess the baritone of a burly male.

“Y/n” He whispered tenderly, attempting not to disturb your pacing.  

“Not now.”

He had partaken notice to your mindful scratches against your neck, continuously pulling up the hair only for it to fall once more. You had paused for a moment with a tremor in your finger that was trapped between your teeth. A familiar distortion of torture wrapping around your throat like a snake that was threatening to suffocate you; your respires heavier and more frequent. He had begun speaking, a blubber of words escaping his trachea. Yet, all jumbled like alphabet soup in your brain between his dismembered sentences. 

You suspired heavily in frustration, “Just— Shut up! Please.” You begged in exasperation. Still prying your hair from your neck, you stood frozen, discontentment building in your system.

He had noticed the black hair tie absentmindedly clung to his wrist whenever you had asked for one. Steadily walking towards your paused figure he had gathered your hair in the tie, your neck feeling the refreshing air against it; a slight relief applied against your skin. You promptly initiated to remove your robe, there was a warm discerning grip on your body overheating your arms as well as your midriff due to the uniform.

With a violent tremor in your fingers, you started grasping at the buttons, a mild frustration initiating at the fact you couldn’t pop them open due to the recurrent quiver in your digits. Sirius had removed your hands from your robe, hastily unbuttoning it before you hurled it aside. 

“How 'bout we go to the bathroom, Hmm?” He cooed while beckoning you into the bathroom, noticing the tremor in your body as well as your fidgeting fingers that were twiddling between each other. He had turned the sink on, switching the handle left where a blue spot differentiated the colours. Delicately, he grasped your trembling wrists and ran them beneath the cooling water. “Just… Feel gross.”You murmured to yourself as he ran a few fingers under the downpour, placing his frigid fingers behind your neck. 

Your shoulders faintly shrugged at the sensation while he turned off the water and let your hands air dry, helping you not feel solidified by anything. During his movement, you had grasped onto his fingers where a few heirloom rings had fit snugly on his fingers, “Tell me about them.” This was a technique he had created in an effort of distraction at the uprising feelings of disgust for yourself bound to erupt at any moment. 

“There’s a B, I guess. Erm, engraving, swirls and stuff…” You trailed off while attempting to decipher the designs in the ring that was on his forefinger.“S’too much! Just wanna— Dunno, not feel like this anymore!”

He had partaken scrutiny to your physical tics as well as your body language, with a faint clutch on two of your fingers he had hauled you to the very center of your dormitory. Within a few inches of each other, he had mauled your hand over his sternum. You felt the heavy respires in his chest as well as the vibrations melding with your palm as he spoke, “Breathe with me.” 

You had stood there, minutes, maybe almost an hour, time was now pushed to the very nooks and crannies of your mind. The surges of perturbation still prominently surging through your veins to the density of your bones, the recurrent tremble still foremost notable but the buckling of your knees had calmed down as well as the faint chatter of your teeth. Still copying his sluggish breathing, you looked deep into his pear irises, his optics having a settling effect, a tingling reassurance reflecting in them. In the sunlight state that had remained in your room due to the unclosed curtains, there had been cerulean hues caught in that state.

Sirius’ eyes had been crafted like delicate feathers that were used for quills, not the albino kind of dove feathers, but the ones with a hue so softly grey that they could have been pencil-drawn rather than used by a quill with smeared stygian ink. They had that look of birds flying on sunlit days, the shine and quick movement, yet relaxed, purposeful, at ease.

“Can we sit?” You questioned quietly after removing your hand from his chest, hesitantly grabbing onto two of his fingers as he had previously done with you. “Anything you want.” He replied in a murmur, craning his head left, then right, trying to figure out where to beckon you into a seated position.

You had sat upon the wooden floor. The flooring designs similar to a chorus of browns; they sang together, an acapella of baritone hues that rose into vibrant soprano notes. It was a fitting place for a dormitory where laughter could normally be discerned, a place for those new sounds to soak right in and join the spirit that was already there when you had first entered the dormitory your first year.

“Here?”

“Mhm.” You nodded your head scarcely as he sat next to you. You sighed for a moment, placing a minimal amount of your temple against his shoulder, feeling the similar respires soothe you. “Here.”

taglist: @fific7 @wisedreamcatcher @kittykylax @ronbrokemyheart @aspiringsloth20 @georgeswh0re @amourtentiaa @msmb @fangouria @five-cups-of-coffee @dracofknmalfoy @emmaev @serenitywilderness @i-love-scott-mccall @artemis1orion @miss-starkov @siriusbarnesslut @inglourious-imagines @iamninaanna @livvysnaps @famdomhideout @hufflepogue @kirascottage @luvvninaz @miraclesoflove @black-like-my-soul @slytherclawbitch @90steaology

[onedivinemisfit]

Obiyuki Witcher!AU “chara sheet”, this time Shirayuki. My favourite little Bruxa <3 Accompanies this one; Obi

Posted mainly bc I’m busy with the backlog that is coloring all the outfits I made for her XD

AnS (c) Akizuki Sorata

Art: Me

Notes:

- Shirayuki’s mom was a bruxae, and her father human. Mukaze was initially lured in to be food for her mother’s vampire coven, but she fell in love with him. Refusing the matriarch’s orders, her mother escaped to the coast of Cidaris, where Shirayuki was later born. She’s never met her father, but she knew he had to be a sailor of some sort, for her mother would always gaze wistfully out towards the sea.

- Shirayuki was raised on the outskirts of human society, to avoid attracting too much attention. Her mother taught her to prey on wild animals rather than humanoids, or cattle, to avoid causing a stir. Shirayuki’s favourite food is deer blood pudding. She finds “solid” foods very exciting.

- Although not raised in a bruxa coven like her mother, Shirayuki was still taught some of their customs and history, if only to fill the cold winter evenings when sitting in front of the fireplace while her momma mended sleeves and darned socks, and blood soup was beginning to boil, wafting deliciously coppery in their little hut.

- Her mother was killed when Shirayuki was young, and she had to make do on her own, having to master such skills as hunting for food, patching her clothes, pickpocket when desperate, and gauge the smallfolk’s opinion of her - so she would know when to bolt. She picked up herbalism while on the road, and has lived many places across the north, though always sticking to the coast. Old habits...

- As a young teen, she crashes into an islander girl named Torou - who turns out to be her half-sister. Basically they felt instant kinship and when comparing notes, found that Torou’s father had been to the mainland and spoken of this beautiful woman he met there. Torou would have taken Shirayuki back with her if she could, but Shirayuki is... not people-minded, always terrified by her otherness, and her mind fresh with what humans can do to monsters if they find them. They keep their sisterhood secret, Torou teaching Shirayuki to read and write, Shirayuki helping Torou spar (to this day, her elder sister is envious of her bruxae speed) and keep in touch by letter.

- Being bruxae means Shirayuki can communicate with birds, entrance humanoids with song, and despite looking like a normal woman, packs a punch few can match. She’s not volatile by nature, but can be spurred to action for a number of reasons, at which point she lets loose her claws, her fangs and her invisibility. Her slight build and short stature *always* ensures her enemies will underestimate her attack power. Only witchers can really match her...

- Yes, she has murdered. Killed in self-defense, mostly, but once or twice outright murdered people. Her fluctuating misanthropy means she’s sometimes sorry, sometimes absolutely not.

- During her travels, Shirayuki finds Ryuu, the “wolf pup”, as she nicknamed him at first. A werewolf cub abandoned by his natural mother, and raised by a leshy in the woods that was now dead, she adopts him as her own. She teaches him language, both Common and Vampiric, to ensure she can communicate him without anyone understanding what she’s saying; she feeds and clothes him, telling curious villagers how he is her step-son by her “late hunter husband” (who of course never existed) and of course lets him roam the woods at night, true to his nature.

- Shirayuki and Ryuu settle in the woods of Velen, Temeria, a couple years before the Third War, of course affecting your typical displaced commoners looking for a new home. She moves them into an abandoned hunter’s hut, and sets up as a forager-herbalist. The smallfolk come to her for cures, trading mostly in foodstuffs or utilities, but they are generally distrustful of her. Shirayuki is simply too other, even when affecting human-ness; living alone deep in the woods, unafraid of anything; hunting, which is obviously not womanly, even if her hides supply the village with leather; her son, who never speaks and is almost never seen, and never plays with the other children; and her unnerving beauty, which draws people in whether they want to or not. Rumors abound of her, her character, her tastes, people adding to the rumours with fear and lust.

- The arrival of a witcher in the village makes Shirayuki nervous. Humans she can fool, but a witcher senses that which others do not, and he’s soon on her tail. Shirayuki pretends to the best of her ability to not be what he suspects her to be, but it comes to blows. Obi, thankfully, sees sense, realizing neither Shirayuki nor Ryuu actually eat humans for funsies, but the damage is done, so he offers to escort them across the Northern Realms while they look for a new place to live. Easier said than done considering the continent is aflame with war and famine, but they’ll try anyway.

- Bruxae though she is, Shirayuki only uses her inborn skill for suggestion and seduction when needs must, but as time goes on and Obi pisses her off, flatters her, flirts then retreat, and generally treats her like no other human... ish... has ever done, she wishes she could turn the tables om him. It would be easy, too, were she not... truly beginning to care for him...

[moiraineswife]

Mantle of Fur - A Shadowgast Fic

y’all can blame @crunchywrites for this one. Expect more shadowgast in the future bc im trash and the fic bug has officially bitten again. (That’s Crunchy’s fault, too. Everything is Crunchy’s fault. Dammit Crunchy). 

“The spell is somewhat similar to the more mundane Levitate, which I think you are familiar with. However, it is less about pushing yourself via force, and instead about altering the effect gravity has upon your body in a localised- ah-” 

Essek broke off as, from nowhere, a small gingery blur leapt onto his lap. From there, it promptly began to burrow insistently, purring all the while, into Essek’s heavy mantle, attempting to find a way into the thick maze of material. 

Caleb, recognising his cat, flushed as Essek peered down interestedly as Frumpkin began pawing in evident displeasure at his heavy robe, seeking the warmth within no doubt. 

“I am so sorry,” he murmured, making soft chirruping sounds to Frumpkin to summon him away from Essek.

Frumpkin ignored him. 

Caleb stared, the colour deepening in his cheeks. Of all the times for his cat to decide to stop listening to him, of course it would be at a moment like this. 

“Frumpkin,” he said, still too shocked to put any real reproach into the words. 

Essek looked rather amused. “It’s alright, Widogast,” he said, reaching down a long, thin finger and stroking Frumpkin’s fluffy cheek, “I don’t mind.” 

“This is very out of character for him,” Caleb said, staring, “This is not like him at all.” 

Essek raised a narrow eyebrow, his amusement apparently deepening the more flustered Caleb became, “It’s unusual that he would be attracted to me? I don’t think it would be much of a stretch to imagine how that might happen given how closely bonded he is to you.” 

Caleb was now fairly certain he resembled the precise shade his mother’s beetroot and tomato soup used to turn. 

“I only meant,” he said, trying to regain his composure, “That it is very unusual for him not to listen to me when I give him a command.”

He winced slightly as he realised Frumpkin had found a way within the impenetrable mantle and was now proceeding to knead enthusiastically at Essek’s lap as though he were a lump of harvest bread dough. 

“And he is going to ruin your robes,” he muttered, more to himself than Essek. Then, more loudly, he added, “Frumpkin!” There was a soft chirping sound from within the mass of purple and black velvet, and Frumpkin’s head appeared, blinking innocently at him. 

“Don’t look at me like that,” Caleb said, trying to be stern, “You know you’ve done wrong. And you are going to ruin Herr Theylss’ clothes. Come out here now.” 

Frumpkin yawned pointedly, then stretched indulgently, flexing every muscle in his body, right down to his toes, clearly taking as much time as possible to listen to his master. 

Caeb could feel the amusement radiating from Essek. He made a point not to look at him. 

“I will put you in your pocket plane,” he warned him, raising his fingers threateningly, ready to snap him away. 

Frumpkin gave him an insolent little meow and a look of withering disgust no creature in the world was capable of mustering but a cat. 

Essek actually laughed. It was a bright, sharp, almost musical sound, and Caleb was so surprised by it, he forgot to be stern with Frumpkin. 

He looked younger when he laughed. The joy smoothed away the lines of worry that seemed to permanently crease his angular features of late. There was a brightness in his eyes, too, one that Caleb had never had the pleasure of seeing before, as though Frumpkin had kindled the stars within his gaze. 

“Leave him be,” Essek said, still smiling, tickling Frumpkin under the chin, causing him to start purring loudly again. “He isn’t doing any harm.” 

“You like cats?” Caleb ventured. It was an extremely foolish question given the circumstances, but he had found many people didn’t understand them. He had a profound mistrust of people who did not like cats. If Essek did, if he appreciated them ...Well, that was a tick in the correct box as far as Caleb was concerned. 

“My mother kept them when I was a boy,” Essek confessed, eyes still on Frumpkin. 

His expression softened as he went on. His smile became even warmer, far more natural and gentle than the cunning, cutting smirks Caleb was more used to seeing. 

Caleb started, surprised, drawn in to this thread of connection between them, however seemingly mundane or general. 

“We had a cat also, when I was growing up,” he said, nodding towards Frumpkin, who had by now made himself a veritable nest in Essek’s lap, “She looked very like Frumpkin here. That was her name, too. When I had later gained a familiar... “ he trailed off, vaguely. 

“Naturally you drew upon her as inspiration,” Essek said, still smiling.

“We never had anything quite so fixed,” he said, “Ours were strays, typically. They used to find us, and she could never stop herself taking them in and caring for them. They were drawn to her.” He looked up at Caleb again as he said, “It seems I have her gift also.”

Caleb nodded, reaching forward to pet Frumpkin himself, “I have always said cats have good taste,” he murmured, without thinking. 

Essek’s answering smile could only be described as cat-like. 

Flushing again, Caleb cleared his throat loudly and pulled his chair closer to the table with a very pointed scraping sound. 

“So,” he said, firmly, refusing to meet Essek’s eyes, “We were discussing spells to alter the effects of gravity aound the caster? How exactly does that work? I assume there are some similarities to the Immovable Object spell, but altered somewhat? More fluid? Like this?” 

He sketched a few runes and, to his relief, Essek was drawn back into the discussion of his signature spells, leaving Caleb’s comment untouched. For the moment. He was quite sure his little slip had not been forgotten, and that Essek would return to it when he felt it suited him to do so. 

Caleb frowned slightly at Frumpkin as they continued their work, wondering if somehow this hadn’t been the cat’s plan all along. 

Frumpkin blinked placidly at him, purred contentedly, and snuggled into Essek’s mantle. 

[chaoticgabby]

My Cheap & Relatively Healthy Grocery List for College Students

Context: I had been used to eating fast food so much because it was cheap that when I went to the doctors' they said I had high glucose content. That wasnt good. So I started eating healthier. Anyway let's skip the BS and get straight into it:

Ramen: the OG cheap food. I personally don't own ramen bc I dont like it that much, but if you want to save money this is the meal, at least add an egg or some veggies to make it healthier.

Frozen Veggies: anywhere from 50 cents to a dollar or two a bag. Can easily be kept in your freezer (if you have one) for months

Mac n' cheese: my all-time favorite. Of course, it might not be healthy for everyone to eat pasta all the time, but I do it anyway. Add some real cheese and spices for taste or chicken and veggies in it / on the side.

Other Pasta boxes (Pasta Roni, Velveeta, Hamburger Helper, etc.): basically as cheap or almost as cheap as Kraft macaroni, but maybe you arent a fan of mac n cheese.

Soup (Soup!!): Cambell's Tomato soup is often $1 a can. I like to eat mine with grilled cheese. Thats a whole ass meal. But of course you can get other soups just as cheap. Basically, any canned foods.

Canned foods & veggies: this one goes without saying. Although, the better options are sometimes $2 to $3 the same can be said for frozen veggies, but just heat these up and cook them in fried rice or just add butter and eat them aside a nice entré

Chunk light tuna: speaking of canned foods, canned tuna is soooo cheap and is a great option (if you even like tuna). Dont actually get the "pack tuna" for $1 a pack unless you want to keep it in your bag bc canned tuna is around 60 cents a can. Mix it with Miracle Whip (or mayo) and spread it over break for a good sammich.

Grilled cheese (or cheese toastie if you arent American I think??): similar to previous options, youre getting your cheese and your butter and your bread. Not as healthy as other options but way better than fast food calories.

Quesadillas: similar to grilled cheese, except spICY. My brother only eats these and he has no meal plan. I do it now too. Honestly, adding up tortillas, cheese dip, shredded cheese, & chicken is kind of costly but worth it. Also cooking chicken is annoying bc I dont have time for that. But. Yknow. A great option.

Pillsbury Crescents: a little costly, about $2+ per tube, but still fookin delicious. Also imma be real: actually havent checked the nutrition label to see if these are actually healthy. But these are sO useful. Make them by themselves for breakfast (with jam, eggs, or alone) or use the dough for other recipes. I use these with Manwich sauce, cheese, and ground beef for snacks :)

Manwiches: manwich sauce cans are $1 and although they have some sugar, its not nearly as bad as fast food. Just cook up some ground beef to go with it & maybe add cheese, sliced bread, or hamburger buns

PB&J: Another OG. I could never get tired of these. You just gotta make sure you have soft bread and the pb&j and youre good to go. Although..like.. some people apparently like theirs toasted or with different jams (I like strawberry).

Eggs!!!! : Just keep these in your fridge. Just do it. You never know when youre going to run out of food. Boiled? Scrambled? Fried? Soft boiled? With ramen? Omelet? In fried rice? Egg sandwich??? Eat them with bread, eat them with toast, eat them as a breakfast sandwich, scramble them with cheese, the list goes on. If you dont eat them often, get a smaller carton, but always have eggs! Also, for baking.

Rice, or fried rice: If you like rice, have been cooking rice for a long time, and can actually make it without burning, make sure you have rice. If you like rice but have never actually made it yourself, it takes trial and error in a pot. Or just invest in a rice cooker. Additionally, fried rice is not that difficult to learn & it fits the bill for healthy bc you can add unlimited veggies and meats. Im not here to educated you but the more ingredients, the better, is how i see it.

Fresh Food:

Fruit: I literally have "an apple a day" for breakfast. It's just good for you. Keep them in your fridge to keep them fresh. Keep one in your bag in case you get hungry. Bananas? Awesome! Use them in smoothies or a milkshake or eat them with your cereal or even with peanut butter. Possibilities are endless with fruit. Just make sure they dont spoil. Apples are OG bc they dont spoil as easily.

Vegetables: Make sure to only periodically get them so that they dont go to waste. Make some broccoli with butter & eat it alongside pasta. Or asparagus. Anything you want. Just make sure to have some with your meals sometimes. Greens are good. Additionally, carrots can get addicting if yoh eat them with ranch. The plus side is they are filling. If you have a tendency to want to munch on something: carrots.

Deli Meat / Sandwich Options: I personally dont make deli sandwiches because ham (as well as roast beef or turkey) can be expensive and then wanting to add lettuce and tomato to a sandwich sounds amazing but I'm scared they will spoil. Dont let me stop you though! Sandwiches are amazing.

Meat: you dont want to be cooking meat all the time bc it can get expensive, but the basics I always get are ground beef and chicken. I prefer "boneless skinless chicken thigh fillets" but you would need to cut off the fat. You could always get rotisserie if you arent feeling to for cooking. Also, if you're feeling expensive one week, salmon is just sooo good. I ate it with asparagus and seasoned with lemon. Delicious.

Snack / Dessert Options:

(I personally don't keep snacks or dessert in my home very often bc you dont want to binge eat. But here is what I have)

Peanut butter: classic, filling, can be potentially bad if you eat a shite ton

Nuts: peanuts, almonds, cashews, and especially pecans

Cookies: make your own, a lot of simple cookie recipes exist and it's a lot easier than you think. Baking essentials like flour, sugar, milk, and eggs are not that expensive to keep around in an apartment kitchen. Difficulties may be vanilla extract (the avg student doesnt have this lying around) a baking sheet, a big bowl, and possible a whisk. Store bought cookie dough isnt too bad either.

Box-cakes / box-brownies: simple and easy. Takes a few eggs sometimes and some oil, milk or water. The same goes for pancake mix. Honestly, I had an out-of-country roommate and he had never heard of boxed cake mix or brownie mix. They always made from scratch where he lived.

Low-calorie ice cream: okay ice cream can be pretty expensive and filled w/ added sugars. I used to eat this strawberry icecream sweetened with stevia and it was SO delicious, but I couldnt find that at my grocery store. Other options are "low-calorie" ice cream or "no added sugars" ice cream. I have one of these and the thing abt it is that its just the right amount of sugar to taste like ice cream and the neat thing is that you dont feel like binging it bc it doesnt have addicting added sugars.

Milkshakes / smoothies: this is a tough one bc me and most other students dont own a blender or juicer. I personally get my smoothies from a local smoothie place that only uses fresh fruit and then I ask not to add the natural sugars bc it is sweet enough with the fruit. Natural smoothies are delicious & I find that you can kind of make then if u freeze your fruits and blend w a fork. "Handmade" milkshakes are actually super easy w this method.

Yogurt: just...mmm.

"Healthy" snack food section, often called the gluten-free aisle: im not too experienced with this and im sure they have added sugars too but what I do know is I tried these gluten free oreos once and they were delicious

Fruits: I mentioned earlier but apples are great snacks

Veggies: also like I said earlier, carrots are great snacks. Not exactly a veggie but possibly potatoes for a meal or snack.

Granola Bars: for when youre too lazy to keep up with fruit and if fruit will spoil, granola bars (they healthy kind, not the chewy sugary kind) are so good to have in your pantry or keep in your backpack for a snack (and to keep you from on campus temptations). Also I used Nature Valley ones instead of cereal. They actually dissolve and are delicious with milk, since some cereals are so sugary.

Since my last college tips post got some notes I figured I'd keep writing these advice posts. For reference, I am hoping to become an RA next year at my college, so I'm not just speaking out of my ass. I generally have experience at college thus far and want to help students.

[soundofseventeen]

13 Days of Christmas (Jeon Wonwoo)

If you read Terrible Things, this is in the same universe! It was one of my favorites to write!!! Also Joshua Hong has got me fucked up...unedited bc im getting ready for work

Word count: 2392

You could feel it deep in your bones that something was off with Wonwoo. He was generally a happy person; you could tell by the way he walked. When he was happy, he took big strides and if he was in the middle of a story, he would often talk with his hands, and sometimes he could be heard before he could be seen. But when something bugged it, it was darkness loomed over him, no matter how hard he tried to cover it up. Ever since the month started, you could see his spirits deflating by the day. 

Now Christmas was one of your favorite holidays because it brought out the charitable sides of people. And the lights and inflatables made everything feel magical. You often switched between the famous Santa hat to the elf just because.Everything just...felt different. And every time you saw Wonwoo, it was like he lacked something. At first, you thought he caught a bug which is why you stayed at arm’s length for a time. No offense to him, but if you got sick, you’d be sad because the child you adored so much didn’t deserve to be sick.

And then, you asked him if he was still sick and he looked at you funny and you knew he wasn’t sick and you felt foolish. So you made him cookies to make up for it. But when you went to his house, you were surprised that you didn’t find one anything related to Christmas, not a tree or stocking or even a single candy cane. The outside didn’t look like the rest of the neighborhood. And the inside just looked the same. It kinda broke your heart and then it clicked that he was still mourning the death of his wife and you felt even dumber for not noticing that sooner.

He had given you the time off to go home with your friends and family and he’d stay with Daejung. All the other members finally had the chance to spend their Christmases either back home or with the families of their newest love interests. So, you rejected the offer and told him you’d be staying home instead so if he needed you for any type of emergency, you’d be easy to reach.

So you fixed up your house with enough Christmas cheer to take you to the next century and whipped up more food than you thought you had and counted down the days to Christmas. You bought and sent gifts to your deserving family members and some for the boys whenever you saw them again (which you had a hunch would be some time after the new year because the idol life was hard) and you put extra thought and care for the single father and son who you hoped wouldn’t be so lonely anymore. It saddened you to think Dae would grow up without a mother but Wonwoo...Wonwoo lost his best friend and partner in crime. He’d have to watch Dae turn into someone who resembled both. Mrs. Jeon Wonwoo, according to Wonwoo was a spectacular woman so with her in mind, you found something for them for each of them and you hoped they liked it.

*

“Y/N, you didn’t have to go through all that trouble just to have us over,” Wonwoo chided you gently. “It’s just a holiday and Dae won’t even know if missed a Christmas.” He wiped his mouth on the napkin you provided. He wasn’t as he hungry as he looked but you just made the best food he ever tasted, so he just had to get a bite of everything.

You fed Daejung a spoonful of soup you made especially for him while looking at him. “No one should spend it alone, and I wasn’t gonna have anyone over. And since I work for you, isn’t this just another day for us?” You turned to the baby who was expectantly waiting for more. “Alright baby, open up. Alright you wanna feed yourself? Okay, but eat.”

He raised his cup of coffee in a toast but he watched you interact with Dae feeling happy despite the circumstances. His wife had passed away about half a year ago, so while he still struggled to make peace with it, he found comfort in knowing found a close to full time nanny that loved him almost as much as she would’ve. He knew you fell in love with the baby at first sight and Dae himself did so many things for your attention when Wonwoo interviewed you. He finally felt like he made the right choice in choosing. He was still realistic though; he wasn’t gonna ask for your hand in marriage and ask you to raise Dae like he was your own son. But he had to admit he hated the way his heart twisted up at the thought of Dae being old enough to do these things without you.

“Eww, dirty boy,” he saw you affectionately wrinkle your nose at him, “you got the carrots all over yourself. Wow, you finished your potatoes. Do you want more?” Wonwoo was pleasantly surprised when Daejung nodded. “Finish a little bit more juice, my love. Please?”

“Aren’t you gonna eat, Y/N?” He didn’t doubt that your own food would be cold by now. “I can take care of him? We’re your guests.”

You waved him off, standing up and getting Daejung out of his high chair, not minding the mushed vegetables that landed on your white shirt and potentially staining it. You finally sat him on your lap, ready to finally enjoy your meal. “I have noodles, corn, peas and whatever you want...okay maybe not whatever you want but things you can eat.”

“Is he really that hungry?”

“I don’t know much about genetics but I’m almost positive he takes up after you with that.” You pointed at the nearly empty plate and Wonwoo was shocked at how much he managed to eat. “Watch. I’m gonna grab some of the noodles with my chopsticks and then Dae’s gonna grab them and eat them.”

“Aren’t they spicy?” The whole reason he ate nearly everything else except the noodles was for that same reason.

“Wonwoo, if I didn’t know he’d eventually pick at my plate, I would’ve added more spices and everything. Mostly everything I made is safe enough for Dae to eat.”

“Why?”

“Because he will eat just about anything I make, especially if I’m about to eat.” And sure enough, the moment you raised the chopsticks with the noodles, Daejung swiped them and stuffed them in his mouth, giggling like he knew what he was doing. 

Wonwoo watched in awe how you balanced his son on your lap while he ate the vegetables and how you managed to feed yourself while holding a conversation. If he didn’t know better, he would’ve sworn he was your son. Soon enough you finished eating and he was gonna clear the table but you held out Dae to him and Wonwoo got the hint he needed changing. You gave him directions to change him in your room while you finished.

He was struck dumb when he saw a picture of Dae on your nigthstand, looking so happy and full of life. Wonwoo figured Dae was a couple months younger judging from the baby fat, but he looked the same. He looked a lot like his late wife and he was brought back to the harsh reality that she was gone. He didn’t think he could ever love someone that much again. It wasn’t fair; maybe she would’ve still been here if he didn’t convince her to quit her job. Maybe If he told her not to go to Japan with them or maybe if Soonyoung didn’t convince her to have dinner. Maybe, maybe... 

A sudden sob racked through his body and he tried to keep his composure. He was here with Daejung and you. This already happened; he couldn’t turn back time no matter times he wished it. The reality was his wife was gone. He was learning to live without her and Daejung would never have a memory of her. He shook his head. He was a guest here in your home; he needed to be happy for the moment, because he was enjoying himself a few minutes ago with you. You were laughing and throwing food at each other. You were friends spending Christmas together and Daejung just so happened to be the person who brought you together.

When he went to the living room, he didn’t expect to see you on the couch lightly flipping through the channels with the fireplace on. He felt...warm and cozy in so many ways and he just had to smile. Daejung cooed and you turned around quickly, hands stretched for your favorite little friend. He squirmed in Wonwoo’s arms, clearly wanting you and you handed him over, once again in awe in how much Dae loved you.

“Alright Mister, we’re gonna open Christmas gift and then you can go home, okay?” You lowered your voice but he could still hear you. “I found the cartoons you like so if you fall asleep you can stay longer because your daddy wouldn’t dare take you out in this cold.” You booped his nose and his little hand touched your cheek.

“Did you get us presents? Y/N, you really didn’t have to. We already took up so much of your time.”

“Yes I absolutely had to. What’d you think? You were coming over just to have breakfast? No, come sit down and enjoy the day. Jeon Wonwoo, you and I, we’re a family in a way.”

Family. He had to admit, he liked the idea of that. He sat down next to you as you put Dae on the floor so he could crawl to his heart’s content. “Where’d you get all those toys?”

“Well, with how you work a lot at night and you bring him over, isn’t it a smart idea to have something for him to play with?”

“Your friends must think you’re weird for taking care of some idol’s kid, huh?”

“Well Wonwoo, to be honest, I don’t have them over very much for that same reason. From the way you and your friends talk about your wife and the fact that the media doesn’t even know about her, I just assumed that you’d like to keep it that way, for the respect of her privacy. My friends don’t even know it’s your son I take care of. As far as they know, you don’t have a son. They just know I watch my boss’s son most of the time. Any days off you give me, I try to keep them away from here...just so they don’t ask questions. It’d be a little hard to explain why I have a mini version of Jeon Wonwoo in my house.”

He smiled at you wholeheartedly. “You weren’t kidding when you said you knew what you were getting into.” He could feel his heartbeat picking up. Have you always looked like that?

“Dae will eventually have to grow up and face all of this but as his babysitter, it’d be best to let him stay out of the limelight as long as possible. It’s harder for you because you’re still traveling the world but you know as long as we keep doing whatever we’re doing, he’ll be fine.” You weren’t looking at him as you spoke because your earnestness often made you feel embarrassed so you kneeled on the floor and picked up Wonwoo’s Christmas gift. Daejung, having been busy crawling everywhere he could, fell asleep and you  draped a small blanket over him. 

“I feel shitty not getting you anything,” he admitted. “It’s been a hard year.”

“Don’t worry about that. Daejung makes everyday feel like Christmas. And watching him for you feels kinda surreal, so thank you. Open your gift.”

He didn’t know what he was expecting, but he wasn’t expecting three photobooks of him and his wife and their history. He thumbed through them quickly. “How did you do this?”

“Jeon Wonwoo, every corner I turned at your house had pictures everywhere. So with Seungkwan’s help we found all of them and tried to make an accurate timeline.”

“That would explain why he asked me about us the other day.” Were you always this considerate too? “And what’s Dae’s?”

“Um, Jeonghan helped me look for a single photo of her. He helped me pick out the frame and everything and while he might never know who she was, I don’t think you’d want him to forget her either.”

“Y/N,” he felt at a loss for words, not sure what an appropriate response was, so he just pulled you in and gave you the tightest hug he had ever given someone. “Thank you,” he sobbed.

You weren’t sure how long you stayed like that, but you kept your arms around him until he let you go. His heart still broke for his wife, you knew that, and that no one would ever take her place. But you also did know one day, he could move on and start over. He’d finally start dating (only if he wanted to though) and then he and Dae could be happy together. “Would you guys like to stay a little longer?” you asked quietly. “You don’t look like you’re ready to go home yet.”

“I don’t want to bother you anymore today.”

“You’re not a bother. Tell you what, pick a movie of your choice, I’ll make some popcorn and we can have some wine and then you guys can home once you’ve had dinner.”

“Y/N, we just finished breakfast!”

“Christmas was meant to be spent together.”

“Okay fine, but you’re not taking care of Dae anymore today.”

“I make no promises.”

“Deal.”

So you let Wonwoo flip through all the streaming networks while you made popcorn, poured two glasses of the reddest wine you owned and went back to the living room in hopes he found something. He didn’t choose a Christmas themed movie, but it was a comedy and you both found yourself laughing harder than necessary.

But you also didn’t deny the racing of your heart when he shyly yet somewhat casually entwined his hand his yours.

[balkanradfem]

So I didn't expect this to be a cooking blog, but I have been cooking vegan food for myself for years, and let me tell you, I have made some awful vegan soups. They've been terrible. I'd serve them to nobody but myself. I have been making 10 minute soups. Not from the bag, I've been literally cooking my vegetables for 10 minutes, called it a day, and eaten barely cooked stuff in hot water. I also thought they were great because I haven't eaten any other kind of soup in years.

All until, this one day, I decided my fate would change. I've had all the ingredients to make a big soup. A large, decent soup. And I said to myself, this soup will be the one. I was even ready to cook the noddle thingies (what do you call those little pasta things you throw in a clear soup? idk) separately so my soup would look clear and pretty. (ya i usually would throw those in and make the entire soup muddy, like a savage).

So I actually took my time to chop onions, carrots, celery root, celery leaves, parsley, broccoli, cabbage and cabbage savoy, got all the roots and the onion to cook on oil until they got soft and their flavour intensified, then I added in all the herbs and cabbages and broccoli and actually cooked that stuff for an hour (actually just left the pot wrapped up in a towel bc its a magic trick and it worked), and I got a huge big pot of delicious vegetable broth. That soup was great, but it was even better that I decided to save some of the broth for my next soup. So I put it in a plastic container, and froze it. I forgot all about it until weeks later I discovered a suspicious liquid frozen in my freezer and debated whole day abt what that could be, until I remembered it was broth, and then decided to make another soup, with that broth added in.

Now that soup... was heavenly. It was the most delicious soup I have ever made or eaten. I didn't even do much but cook that broth on some onions and carrots and added broccoli stems and noodles. I was singing songs to this soup. It was amazing.

So this is where I asked myself, wouldn't it be good if I stopped this miserable existence of eating horrible soups and somehow made sure my soups would always taste good, without having to literally freeze broth in a freezer for a month? And that's where the internet came down from heaven to help me live my life, and I found two recipes that sound absolutely amazing, for converting vegetables into broth cubes, and broth powder. Which means, amazing soup, every time, without anything having to be frozen or cooked for hours. Here's the link for Broth Powder, and here's for Broth Cubes. I literally never imagined this could be done at home and not bought at a store. I am unlocking the secrets to good eating with minimal effort put into cooking.

[shytiff]

Jan 2021 Wins

ive “journaled” for 6 months now. it started as small ___ wins because when you feel rly empty, even doing the bare minimum feels like a win. written down some of the wins. i think until now i’d like to keep the “win” part. a win against my shadow sometimes. a win in life. some things to be grateful for. a win for remembering it later in the future. i know some days im just basically doing nothing.  there are a lot of wars not won by me. but im still tryna ✨manifest✨

1 - woke up. watched bts’ 2021 seasons greetings. read trap city. afternoon nap. pupuy’s mbah passed away. i got DOMS in my body even though i did the barest of exercise yesterday (frail, i know). shower, matcha latte.

2 - the x banner atikah and i sent for racil post thesis defense has arrived lmaoo. mom made delicious (and sweet) fried banana. did some studying (more than usual, bcs the bar is on the floor)

3 - ate muesli, 3 risols. Kopsus coklat at flavola. Stayed there from 12-ish to 17:30 lmaooo. weekly bahas soal w/ fi. Rapat nemo

4 - first day of collab module. Barely cicil ukmppd. My mood is normal-ish but i hardly have the will to study. Dinner is fried fish with mentai sauce, potato wedges, and saladdd by mom

5 - collab module, qa presentation for rsui reps. finished reviewing tryout 2 solid. did padi pretest (got 66,5). ate chicken porridge, a bit of muesli and vsoy, tan ek tjoan bread, matcha latte, fish and chicken and potato wedges and salad, fried banana. i ate well today lol.

6 - slept during collab webinar, went to clara’s place to study osce and attended padi together. i ate well at clara’s placeee lol. ate nastar, kusuka, white kwetiaw with soup (?), and lele goreng. went back home @ 9 pm. i feel refreshed. even though we’ve half studied half mukbang all day. human interaction rly does heal me. i need human interaction more than i think. at night i dreamed about going to bali, to waterparks, seeing sea creatures, watching a movie displayed on a concert-like stage and screen at the front row. 

7 - woke up at 07:55, finished my part for collab group work. felt a bit tired today. the rest of fam went to DM, and when they were on the way back i HURRIED my way out, not even taking a shower lmaoo. got pistachio matcha latte at starbucks dm. now im more skilled in searching the best spot in a cafe to distance myself from people lmao. the matcha latte is served with some sort of pistachio cream and sprinkled with nuts on top. its like when sbux had taro matcha latte and it had purple cream on top. the pistachio taste is quite strong. reviewed TO 1 padi, sent proposals for nemo sponsorship.

8 - did syndrome try out and padi 2 web try out. studied for osce and padi @ clara’s place. wanted to order pizza since clara bought me food before, but she insisted in ordering lmaoo. so dinner is pizza hut

9 - woke up at 11.00 lmao. havent had breakfast. lunch is muesli with the brand new delishhh chocolate granola and cimory banana milk. did one shot try out, got 71. had a google meet with Prof Agus (that ethics book ghostwriting job from a year ago is not finished until now huaaa) that went from 20.00ish and finished at 22.30,,,,, reviewed syndrome try out along the way. havent made my collab self reflection hhhh. i also need to study for osce. also havent edited article for bukang solid. and there goes my saturday nooo

10 - i swear i keep waking up late lmao. Flavola w atikah, racheel later came with wawa. Kopsus coklat and ukmppd class w dr yudo. After class i just talked at flavola (and ended not studying osce at all for sunday). Went to racheel's to pray and talk some more. Hurriedly went back for booty call with fi, watched konser dies natalis first. Tryout and sum study with fi and clar that went from 20:30 to 00:10. Powered by left over kopsus and 2 snackit pia. Rip my sleeping schedule

11 - woke up at 10:30 ish, the lack of meal and horrible sleep pattern (for my standard) produced stuffy nose during the day and a bit of headache that went away for a bit after i ate. Late bfast is muesli, drank protein, ate tan ek tjoan, plus 2 brownies in the evening. Tht coaching w dr niken. Did self reflection for collab. Had dinner without rice, as usual. Ukmppd class w dr ayu. Finished reflection at 21:30 lmao (deadline is 23:55). Tryna sleep and my nose is still itchy and i sneeze a more often. i hope it goes away 2mrw

12 - DV coaching, scele tryout, took a nap before padi cause my head kind of hurts. Les padi while drinking matcha with vsoy less sugar and no added sugar. I can withstand the horrible sugarless cy matcha taste bcs theres a taste of soy. Didnt do anything else. Havent studied osce on my own until now. Astagfirullah

13 - my head still kind of aches. Its goes away when im eating. im eating so well during the weekdays that i gained 2kgs lmao. lazed around the first half of the day. padi. finally tried saint matcha and damnn its an amazing upgrade from Cy matcha. the green color is super different yall. Cy’s green looks sick and tired compared to saint matcha. the taste? immaculate (although coco deli is more fragrant). caffeine? hits. awake and feel normal? yes. messaged an ao3 author and got replied and turns out she’s making a sequel for my fav fic of hers. yay

14 - osce practice w ara ren ness. bedah and anak osce coaching. had 3 of mom’s cinnamon rolls and matcha latte for the afternoon. cicil osce DV. edited some pld articles. did nothing else basically

15 - wasted my day, didnt have the courage to study osce (i feel like i procrastinate on it bcs it feels overwhelming to me), TO FKUI 2, hurriedly reviewed to 1 before, les padi. i feel like this is the least focused im being in a les. maybe its the too few matcha powder.

16 - woke up at 9 am. breakfast is muesli. reviewed to 2 fkui w apa salahku (finished at 12 pm, there goes half of my saturday). tried fried chicken master. its good and tender but i still prefer moon chicken. 

17 - breakfast is muesli, banana and 2 martabak tahu. snack is keripik pisang aduuu wenak (and picking bits of meat cooked by mom). went to devi’s place w/ racheel silvi. brought RJ to be wrapped. we watched okay madam and its super fun, hilarious and full of twists anddd a bit of cutesy romance. just the right balance to enjoy and let the stress out. late lunch is moon chicken yay!! went home after maghrib, did to padi 6 w/ fi and matcha latte. talked about a senior’s wedding and eating healthier til 22:30

18 - To fkui 3, wasted my afternoon playing my phone, finally mustered some will to study after ashar. My progress is rly slow today. Watched hilarious jessi interview with eric, heechul. Im telling u, i thought tiktok is the funniest internet content but i was wronggg. Seeing heechul flustered is hilarious. Tried to study again at night but only learned 1 disease hiks

19 - had no idea what i did before dzuhur lmao. went to racheel’s to surprise atikah. actually napped at her place lmaoo why do i feel so sleepy. gifted rj to atikah. we ate fried chicken master and pempek on a small green table and talked. its like korean movie lmao. we talked while im simultaneously listening to padi lol.

20 - woke up at 8, chicken porridge + muesli and low sugar vsoy for breakfast. arrived at clara’s @10am. to fkui 4. reviewed it. reviewed general physical exam. finished up to padi 7. tried bombo donut. studied osce. i felt sooo dumb in osce (and clara is already super smart). superrr motivated to learn after going back home (arrived at 7) but i ended up opening youtube and drinking protein lmaooo and its suddenly 9 pm

21 - matcha latte at starbucks dm. Studied osce. Obgyn coaching w the super kind dr ilham. Les padi. Read angel buddy and played with my phone til 12 pm

22 - to fkui. padi as usual. had low motivation, so i did the tryout that day close to the actual course.

23 - left home at 06:30 to study together in capitol. had breakfast in mcd first. thank god i ate rice + chicken and breakfast wrap cuzzzz. studied osce together w ara, ical, kelvyn, dio and kak ilonka til about 2 pm. WALKED to bk bcs my parents are there. apparently simply driving to capitol is too much for them. immediately ate muesli at 4 pm cause i didnt eat anything in capitol. did nothing else after that. did not pray maghrib together lmao somehow mom had mercy on me and let me sleep som more. mom bought sate padang but i didnt eat it. i cried in bed because as yoongi said, “this is the real you and this is the real me”. did not shower/wash my face at night bcs i felt like shit lmao rip my face (its a week before bukang photoshoot)

24 - i feel tired, lazy, and just wanted some sleep. like all that’s in me is drained. ate muesli with strawberry milk. tried fitmee beef. its better than i thought. because the noodle is chewy you spend more time to chew. also ate fried chicken and daun singkong. usually i cant wait to go to flavola but even at 12 pm i just feel like laying down. finally mustered the will to shower and go out. its raining a bit on the way. colddd. 

25 - to fkui 6, osce briefing, covid lecture (that was actually for ppds), padi

26 - spaghetti for brekkie, coaching neuro and ophthalmology, cicil osce

27 - cicil osce, the second to the last padi omg. the fastest padi ever

28 - obgyn osce practice at kak ilonka’s place (that nice kosan at forkabi) with ara, ren ness, kelvyn, dio with mannequins from og dept, tried meokja salemba that serves bulgogi rice. quite good. after arriving at home, studied neuro together with menno til about 20:45 an and i just dont have the energy lmaooo so i gave up and slept

29 - today is bukang photoshoot at bintaro. put base make up on the way. even put glue on my eyebrow. got eyebrow, eyeshadow and blush done by renata. took lots of photos. nebeng om coro afterwards to bxc to meet mom. we ate at genki sushi (renata ara kris mendel oca regan geordie eka). i missss road trips hua. did tryout fkui on the way back home. after shower and prayer proceeded to review TO with apa salahku. Last padi (havent done the questions beforehand so i sprinted it out while on the actual course). Muhasabah osce with kak widia afterwards lmao. Studied osce with clara

30 - studied osce with ara ren ness @ merra. I ate eatlah, moms muffin, kemplang, tango. I ate so welll. Its a productive sesh, neuro and infectious disease. At home i studied osce w clara til abt 22:15 ish. I feel like i miss my me time lmao its been 3 days. I can still go on w clara but i dont wanna get myself sick

31 - simul osce in the morning. Osce study with clara almira. Cicil osce alone. Played my phone at 10 pm even though i still have mental clarity post matcha latte -___-

[furidojasutin]

Title: Traditional Dreyar Stew

Pairing: Fraxus (Freed x Laxus)

Universe: Canon

Rating: K+

a/n: Hey look I wrote a thing?? So you know I’ve watched Shadowhunters and #Malec and this is inspired by one of their scenes. Peeps who know Shadowhunters will recognize it ;D And I’ve got at least one more oneshot based on a malec scene in mind so let’s see. I hope you guys enjoy ;w; (and tagging u @damasath bc um yes u know I hope u like it too >.<)

Seeing Laxus be nervous was a rare occurrence and even now his nervousness only got exposed by the tiny strain Freed could spot on his boyfriend's features. The rune mage watched him in silence, not wanting to bother Laxus in his concentration.

Master Makarov would be coming over for dinner this evening and they had something important to tell him. It had become apparent quickly that the dragon slayer didn't exactly have magic hands when it got around the art of cooking so Freed was surprised when his boyfriend insisted on preparing a certain stew he knew his grandfather liked all by himself. So this time it was the blond in an apron, Freed was merely the emotional support.

He couldn't deny that Laxus had made progress during the time of them being together and it made him smile a little every time he thought about it. Unfortunately, it was one of his duties as a good boyfriend to be honest and so he's had to confess to his dragon slayer that whatever he had prepared was far from perfect multiple times up until now.

Leaning against the kitchen counter Freed let his boyfriend work, unable to conceal the small curve of his lips as he watched him. The tiny wrinkles on the taller man's forehead were rather cute and it was always a welcome change to see Laxus let loose a little. He always made so much effort not to reveal too much of himself or his feelings that it was nice to know that, around certain people and him especially, he could relax a bit better and actually show the one or other vulnerable side even.

“So, this is a recipe Master showed you when you were a kid?” Freed asked with sincere interest, deep voice calm. In case his boyfriend got a little stressed or exasperated if anything wasn't going as planned, he would be there to soothe him.

The expression of utter concentration stayed put. “Yea. I remember he told me it's one of his favorites, so I thought it'd be nice to cook it for him.”

“Well, judging by the ingredients alone it sounds like a quite delicious stew,” Freed hummed.

“It is.” Laxus' eyes darted to the note resting on top of the counter. He'd written down some stuff so he wouldn't forget anything important.

They may have gone through some major troubles but Freed was well aware of how important Makarov was to Laxus. How important they were to each other. All of them had found a family in Fairy Tail, screw blood relation because any strong bond was relevant no matter what kind, but Laxus and his grandfather still had each other and they had always played an important role in each other's life. That much was undeniable.

It was because of this fact that the Raijinshuu's captain was a bit nervous himself. Ever since Laxus and him had announced their romantic relationship to Fairy Tail's Master, he had expressed nothing but joy and support. He made loving jokes and said how 'it took them long enough' and seemed quite happy that his grandson had found this love in the rune mage in general. Even though there had never been anything else apart from positive reactions, Freed still wondered how he would react to the news that the two of them were engaged now.

Obviously, his reaction was just as, or perhaps even more, important to Laxus which is why he was working so hard for this stew to turn out perfect.

“Did you ever cook it before?” After handing Laxus the spices he had asked for, Freed went to the cupboard to get himself a glass. Considering for a moment, he then decided to pour himself just a bit of wine. It was five in the afternoon and it wouldn't be all too long until Makarov would arrive at their shared apartment.

“Uh, yea. I prepared it one time. Gramps said he liked it, so I don't wanna disappoint him this time either. That'd be fuckin' embarrassing.” Confusion passed Laxus' face for a split second before he began to stir the soup again, hoping that he'd added an accurate amount of the spices.

A silent chuckle appeared on Freed's face, slipping past his boyfriend's notice. “Perhaps it would.” Knowing their Master he would definitely tease Laxus a little about a horrible result but they knew it was all in a completely playful manner and not meant to shame him. The chuckle grew back into a small smile, wine glass lightly swaying in his left hand. “But you're a good man, Laxus. Even if you were to mess up, Master would appreciate the effort.”

Because having Laxus prepare a stew and put so much thought and hope into it revealed more than any words could.

Sure, they both may have messed up in their life big time, some times shared and others not. They were far from perfect. They were far from having exclusively good morals, instead moving in a grey zone very often. But he would still like to believe that they had become better men over time.

The dragon slayer had acknowledged Freed's words in silence. The wrinkles on his forehead had become more visible for a moment there.

“A good man,” the captain repeated. His tone had changed a little though and if Laxus paid attention to it then he would surely have been able to pick out the smirk on the other man's face. “And so adorable with herbs in your hair.”

The dragon slayer stopped stirring the soup and turned his head just in turn to spot the amused glint in Freed's uncovered eye. He gave a huff and reflexively reached up to ruffle his hair.

Putting down his glass the rune mage took two steps closer to stand in front of the taller man and if he wasn't being delusional then he was certain that he saw the tiniest of blushes on Laxus' cheeks. Before the blond could mindlessly ruffle his own hair more, Freed reached up to help him get the herbs off his head with more precision. Laxus let him do so without any protest.

Once the blond strands were freed of the herbs again, the green-haired man gently cupped one of Laxus' cheeks with his palm and stroked his thumb along the skin. “I'm sure he's gonna love it. And I love you.”

Laxus sighed. It felt as though the soft contact of the swordsman's calloused hand against his skin took tension out of him. This one single moment alone had a soothing effect. “Love ya, too,” he muttered and exhaled lightly before showing the hint of a smile.

Freed returned the smile, then leaned up to place a shortly lingering peck on the dragon slayer’s lips before then taking a step back again. His gaze fell on the soup in the big boiler with curiosity. “Well, when will it be ready?”

Laxus had another look at his little note before adding the final ingredient. He was definitely contented with the consistence of it so by the looks of it, his stew should be an utter success. The scent was good as well, nothing that bothered his sensitive dragon slayer nose either, so now there was to hope that it tasted as good as it smelled and looked.

In order to discover that, there was only one possible thing to do. Freed loved using him and his team mates as taste testers (what wasn't a bad thing most of the time since the man was a great cook – but god forbid, they never wanted to touch any winged fish ever again, not even if it was prepared by Freed) so it would just be fair to have Freed act as his taste tester as well.

“Just a few more minutes now,” Laxus assured, and by this time the nervouness had seeped out of his features almost entirely. If Freed had to guess what this sudden new emotion was he spotted then he'd almost dare to say that it was excitement. Or perhaps something hopeful.

The rune mage watched how the taller man grabbed a big spoon and ladled some of the stew before holding it towards him.

“Here, try it. Careful though.” Because it was still hot, obvisouly.

Where Freed had been leaning against the counter again previously, he was now standing up straight. His gaze switched between Laxus' attentive eyes and the filled spoon right before his mouth but not wanting to let the dragon slayer wait he tried the stew.

And his expression changed immediately. Much to Laxus' pleasure, though Freed could tell he tried not to show it too much, Freed emitted a hum of approval and another one. Eyes had widened a tad bit and he nodded in encouragement. “That's, mmmh, that's really good. Yes. It tastes great, Laxus.”

“Hell yeah.” Laxus grinned and put the spoon away into the sink. Now he at least didn't have to be nervous about the stew anymore and only about this evening's subject of conversation. “Gonna go and lay the table then.”

And once the dragon slayer was out of sight, Freed grabbed his emptied glass in a quick movement. His expression had changed at once and with the back turned towards the door, he spluttered out the stew into the glass.

Dammit.

Perhaps it was the spices or the weird mixture of herbs that Laxus had used. Perhaps there was an error in how he remembered the recipe. But god knows there was something about this stew that made it taste not good.

Rubbing his mouth with the back of his hand, Freed reached for the stirring spoon. “I'll join you in a bit!” He shouted before he thought about all the different ingredients they had in store because one thing was clear: he had to do something to try and save Laxus' stew.

For some reason he didn't have the heart to tell Laxus the truth once he tasted what he had fabricated with so much effort and concentration. He didn't have the heart to tell him that this stew he wanted to prepared for his grandfather was far from tasting good and even if this could be considered cheating, he had to do something so it tasted better.

Screw his duty of being a brutally honest boyfriend for once. This matter was different. Clearly. It was Freed who began to feel a little stressed at this very moment but there was no way around it so with his mind at work, he proceeded to work on the stew without Laxus noticing.

Perhaps he would have had a little less of a bad conscience if he could have foreseen that Makarov would reveal his surprise about how comparably good the stew tasted later this evening, claiming that the first time Laxus had prepared it for him had actually been horrible but he had faked his joy not to disappoint the young boy.

It had led to Laxus frowning very hard while they were seated at the table and eating. He'd clearly been confused because he had certainly used the very same recipe and a bit angry and certainly a little disappointed but after silently putting some pieces together he had shot his boyfriend a knowing and judging look who instantly focused on Makarov and their conversation far too hard.

Yea, very suspicious.

What this had done though was to take away some suspense about the actual main revelation of the evening and the relief and anew happiness that coursed through the two men after hearing Makarov's reaction to the news of their fresh engagement overshadowed everything else.

At least for the next hours.

[cardboard-moon]

40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me

You probably already know me decently well or else you wouldn’t be reading this, so instead of rehashing the basic (boring) “getting to know me” questions I dug a little deeper and asked myself about what’s really important. Here is the result: 40 Things You Never Wanted To Know About Me. Enjoy!

1. What Parks and Rec character am I?

While I could argue for almost everyone on the show I’m probably most like Ben Wyatt: a white, brunette, and sad man who eats soup alone on a park bench (minus his love of math and rollerskate kink)

2: Top 5 books?

To Kill a Mockingbird, The Secret History, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Help, 11/22/63

3: Top 5 movies?

Chinatown, Star Wars, Rear Window, National Treasure (nick cage can be good in small doses ok) and Nancy Drew (2007)

4: Top 5 shows?

Parks and Rec, B99, That 70′s Show, Mad Men, Arrested Development

5: Top 10 most iconic vines?

1) Chris is that a weed/Mary is that a police

2) Hi My Name is Trey I have A Basketball Game Tomorrow

3) Rebecca It’s Not What You Think

4) The one where the girl is just hitting elmo with a baseball bat

5) Anything Kermit but esp. the one where he falls off the building

6) You Know This Boy Got His Free Taco

7) 2 Bros Chillin in the Hot Tub

8) Waelcom to my Keeetchen we have bananis and avocadis

9) Whoever Threw That Paper Your Mom’s A Hoe

10) i spilled lipstick in your valentino bag (yOU SPILLED WHAHULAUG LIPSTICK IN MY VALENTINE WHITE BAG)

6: Where do I see myself in 21 years?

One of my dreams in life is to marry the heir to a prestigious winery out in wine country. I have a vision of myself at 39, waking up at 10 AM on a tuesday and standing on my private balcony in my state-of-the-art spanish stucco villa. i am drinking a chardonnay despite the early hour whilst i observe my grape empire in my silk negligee. the only event planned for the day is a portrait sitting for my rottweilers (4 of them), for which i have arranged spaces in the family’s private art gallery. i am aging well despite the harsh california sun and my partner and i have a trip to tuscany planned for the fall. it’s a charmed life and i never tire of eating grapes  

7: Top 5 favorite cryptids

1) Nessie (Nessie is a true lady I believe in her)

2) Mothman (not real)/ el chupacabra (possibly real)

3) the kraken (definitely real)

4) Bigfoot (not real but a legend anyways)

5) the yeti (real only in russia)

8: Do I Believe in Ghosts

It’s a complicated topic and of course we will likely never know for sure but the short answer is yes. in my opinion though, what ghosts are is the important question: are they really the dead coming back to haunt the earth? are they just manifestations of energy that the mind interprets into recognizable shapes? hallucinations? or is it wish fulfillment and the reduction of tensions on a heavy conscience? our brains are capable of powerful things, but it begs the question as to whether if a human desperately wants something to be true does the human mind have the power to make it true? c. s. lewis mentioned once that he never understood the ghost debate since, given that ghosts are real, they have no real power over us or anything interesting to say. but i believe that just goes to show how the mystery is far often more important than the solution.

9: Best/Worst Month of the Year

Best: May/November (spring/fall in full swing, holidays, time off school, great atmosphere) Worst: August (too dang hot & start of school)

10: What is one of my embarrassing secrets

I didn’t learn how to tie my shoes until I was nine (velcro ftw)

11: What is my Dream Date

We go cryptid hunting in the woods and have a picnic in the dark; you supply dogs for entertainment and guardianship purposes, i supply drinks and the cryptozoological myths we are chasing. Afterwards we get gelato

12: Top 3 Presidents

(this is based solely on arbitrary opinion not policies) 1) Barry Obama 2) Lincoln  3) Millard Fillmore (his name is funny) 

Honorable mention: jimmy carter (he was the only noncorrupt man in office for like 30 years before barry)

13: Top 3 Vice Presidents

1) John Adams, if nothing else but for the drama this man caused 2) Walter Mondale 3) the big boy JB 

Honorable Mention: Nichard Rixon

14: Top 3 Secretaries of State

1) Madeline Albright 2) Henry Clay 3) Elihu P. Washburn 

(note: secretaries of state have the funniest names, like Hamilton Fish (1869-1877) rest easy Mr. Fish)

15: Worst Activity they make you do in middle school PE

Middle school P.E. is the worst in general but I’m going to say either grading you on your shotput skills (?) or BMI (??) or just the tuesday run in general (luther kids know)

16: Top 4 Worst Scents

1) Washing a knife covered in peanut butter 2) Really cheap perfume that they sell in checkout lines at convenience stores 3) Olives 4) organic deodorant

17: Top 7 Conspiracy Theories

1) The Denver Airport is an underground military fallout shelter designed to protect the 1% from nuclear warfare

2) A Roman pope adjusted the Gregorian calendar so that his reign would fall on 1000 AD so we’re actually living in the year 1783

3) Paul McCartney is dead and was replaced prior to the Seargant Pepper album by a lookalike named Billy Shears

4) The state of Wyoming is a myth

5) Avril Lavigne died and was replaced back in the early 00’s

6) The Titanic sank because too many people went back in time to prevent it from sinking

7) Not to be cliche George Bush and the military-industrial complex orchestrated the 9/11 attacks (jet fuel can’t melt steel beams and all that)

18: Inside jokes with myself

I’m not usually a “gamer” but every year without fail someone introduces me to a game exactly at finals time and I get hooked and it ruins my gpa and study habits. This year it’s Stardew Valley, last year it was Dream Daddy and the year before that it was undertale and I blame Jojo for absolutely all of it bc they are usually the instigator. Anyway, every year I joke with myself about what game will derail my grades this year

19: Top 5 Worst Tactile Sensations

1) Putting tights or leggings on wet, hairy legs post-shower

2) Running fingernails along cardboard

3) Sweating in a turtleneck

4) Having wet, salty hair after swimming that drips down onto your back and makes the top of your shirt damp

5) Reaching into a bag of grapes and only finding really soft, slimy ones

20: Best Cat I’ve ever encountered

One time my friend and I were leaving Romancing the Bean and walking back to her car and the fattest, fluffiest, softest ginger cat I’ve ever seen came trotting up to us and flopped over at our feet. He was such a good boy!!! And so friendly with strangers!! He was very well groomed and just wanted some love, and whenever we stopped petting him he would jump up onto our legs and leave little wet paw prints everywhere, I wanted to kidnap him

21: Best dog I’ve ever encountered

All of them

22: Best squirrel I’ve ever encountered

My dad has befriended a squirrel named Nutty that likes to sneak into his office when the door’s open and steals peanuts. if the door is closed he’ll bang on it and scream until we acknowledge him

23: If I were a furry what would my fursona be

I do not know because I am not a furry. HOWEVER someone who is well-versed in furry matters told me once that I would be one of those long, nervous dogs like a greyhound maybe and tbh I could see it

24: Favorite/Least Favorite Disneyland Rides

My favorite has always been haunted mansion, except for the halloween season when it’s nightmare before christmas and then it’s thunder mountain. I just love the outside atmosphere of the house bc I’m a slut for that southern gothic architecture style. Worst is splash mountain because there’s no seatbelt and LOGICALLY i know I don’t need one but it doesn’t stop me from having a panic attack every time I get on and we go up the big hill as I worry about being flung from the toboggan across the park

25: Least favorite restaurant within 10 mile radius of my house

I live over by Porto’s so I am #blessed to be surrounded by some really dope food. However there is a hipster place a couple of blocks over in Toluca Lake that only serves bizarre food like fried chicken in maple syrup with waffle fries and it’s surprisingly bland, so the lack of taste combines with how expensive it is probably makes it the worst (it’s also forgettable bc I can’t even remember its name)

26: Rank of JBHS history department according to how good of a parent they would be

9.Mr. Bixler - I have never had this man so I can’t say shit. NA/10

8. Ms. Snowden - I’ve never had her either but I’ve heard enough about her between Burroughs and Luther to know that this woman is kind of scary, intimidating and uptight, all things I personally do not desire in a parent. 2/10

7. Mr. Hatch - I love Scott Hatch but he is a tremendous mess of a man. Judging by his wife’s instagram photos his idea of parenting is taking naps while cuddling his children and letting his wife do the rest of the hard work. Plus he seems like the type to be too wrapped up in his own melodrama and too busy hangin out with his best friend Edward Frankenbush playing Xbox to pay much attention to his kids. However, he did skip the first day of school to take his daughter to kindergarten so he gets points for that. 4/10

6. Mr. Lee - Mr. Lee is a very respectable guy who seems like he does a very good job providing for his family. He’s ranked as middle of the road because he’s a naturally private person so I can’t speak to his parenting tactics or personality much, however the few stories he shared about his daughter were very cute and he does the typical teacher/parent things like making her his screensaver on his computer. Overall, a very quality dad and man, 6.5/10

5. Mr. Fitz - Kyle Fitzgerald is similarly a mess of a man, but the difference between him and Scott Hatch is that he seems to make an investment in his kid. He always talks about current events in terms of what idiocy his poor daughter will have to put up with which shows his devotion to her well-being and survival in a confusing world. Also he brought her in to go swimming once while I was working at Verdugo and I got to see them having a great time on the splash pad and it warmed my heart. Great dad 7/10

4. Mr. Piper - Richard Piper is such a good father but in a detached way. He loves talking about his son and wife just as much as he loves talking about planes. The real kicker? When he talks about taking his son ON planes and geeking out over history together. He also asked all of his classes for people looking for tutoring work when his son was struggling in math which is so cute. Good guy Rick gets an 8/10.

2. (tie) Mr. Frankenbush and Ms. Hacker - Ed and Jan are both beautiful people. I know Ms. Hacker is #divisive but I personally am a big fan and would die to have her guidance in my daily life. She’s always interested in what’s going on in people’s lives and sure she’s definitely chaotic but it’s a loving chaos that’s only looking to help other people. I’ve not had the pleasure of having Mr. Frankenbush but he always is hanging out with his son Joey and they love coming to the Burroughs pool and playing water polo together; they spend a lot of time together since his wife works so much and they have such a buddy friendship. Both of these lovely people are super devoted and invested in the youth and would make great parents. 9/10

1. Mr. Clark - A god. We don’t deserve this man and I can’t sing his praises enough. Were were all lucky enough to be Greg’s children I don’t think evil would exist in the world. 11/10

27: Worst book I read for school

Hands down Tale of Two Cities since it’s the only one I’ve never finished. Dickens just doesn’t do it for me I guess plus I get really tired of the one dimensional characters and how much he romanticizes Lucy

28: Favorite little-known tidbit of history

When Richard Nixon went to Soviet Russia as Eisenhower’s VP during the cold war his secret service agents detected higher than usual amounts of radiation coming from Nixon’s hotel room, so they started talking loudly about it bc they knew the Soviets had planted buds and were listening. Within like an hour the radiation had vanished and they never heard anything about it again so man Soviet’s ain’t sly

29: 5 Places in Burbank That Are Definitely Haunted

1. Coral Cafe for obvious reasons, look up the ghost on youtube

2. The View seems like it would have some kind of el chupacabra-esque creature prowling around, maybe a mountain lion hybrid

3. Fry’s Electronics

4. The abandoned train station under the bridge

5. The LA river by the equestrian center

30: Rank of all the AP classes i took in order of entertainment value

9) AP Bio: I liked bio but the class wasn’t very entertaining. There’s not a lot of humor in bacteria and cells, and Mr. Van Loo is much more of a calming than a humorous and chaotic presence, so overall it takes the hit as the least entertaining class.

8) AP Stats: Math is similarly not very entertaining, but Mrs. Hollingshed’s erratic personality gives it the edge over Bio. Definitely more humorous than expected of a math class.

7) AP Econ: I bombed econ and business/money isn’t very entertaining but Jan Hacker made it so thanks to her chaos (love her though).

6) AP Euro: European history is incredibly iconic because, spoiler alert, Europeans are idiots and historically speaking everything that can go wrong, will go wrong. I just wish I remember it since I think idiot sophomore Lily slept through most of the class so needless to say I didn’t soak up much of the entertainment value. If it were up to me I’d take it over again and maybe stay awake this time.

5) AP Lit: Lit was just as much challenging and intimidating as it was entertaining, so it balances out. Mrs. Caluya is notably iconic and the books we read were all pretty interesting so it gets a high vote from me.

3) (tie) Gov/APUSH: History is always entertaining in my eyes since people do stupid things out of pettiness. These two tie for different reasons: Mr. Piper is a great teacher and that mock trial we did for the industrial age was great, but the subject was also extremely entertaining overall. I loved reading about how John Adams made making fun of him illegal. Gov was mostly just entertaining because of Mr. Hatch and how salty his is about the government. His sarcastic comments about how corrupt everything is gave life to an otherwise pretty lifeless subject.

2) AP Lang: aka the class with no curriculum, or the Kuglen Hour. I love Mr. Kuglen so much and he is responsible for 99% of the amusement in the class. I somehow learned how to be a better writer by listening to him complain about Trump and everything else under the sun for an hour every day so it was well worth it. Also who doesn’t like a class where you read Dave Sedaris for homework?

1) AP Psych: Without question, this is the epitome of entertainment. Psychology is just a mishmash of people trying to figure out why humans are as stupid as we are and why we do dumb things. Add in all the iconic psychologists and history and a class led by salty Mr. Hatch and you have a recipe for an entertaining year.

31: Top 5 Iconic JBHS teachers that I NEVER had (no particular order)

Mr. Peebles: A quirky man who I would have loved were I any good at math whatsoever

Mr. Arakelian: Band kids hate him but the stories I hear are so frickin iconic that I wish I could be an honorary band kid for a day and see the horror firsthand. If you have Arakelian stories please send them my way I’d love to hear about your pain

Mr. Frankenbush: A sad boi who everyone should get to experience and I regret never having.

Dr. Madooglu: He was so kind to me after the failed anti-trump lunchtime protest last year and he didn’t even know me. I wish I could’ve experienced him as a teacher.

Mr. Clark: The man, the myth, the legend

32: List of some iconic swim horror stories

Charlie breaking his hand after he lost a race and punched the gutter as hard as he could

Some idiot JV boys smearing poop all over the Burbank High locker room

The entire JV team getting Burroughs swim banned from Islands

Me almost passing out at the Los Amigos meet last year after I didn’t eat or sleep all day

Everyone always feigning illness or injury to get out of swimming the 4x100 relay

Getting in trouble for watching boys volleyball practice instead of doing the weight room sets

Every. Single. 5AM morning practice before school.

When coach martin finally figured out how periods work and suddenly we couldn’t use that as an excuse for not swimming anymore

33: What Office Character Would I Be

A mix between Angela, Oscar, and Kelly (we love our dramatic icons)

34: #1 Thing I’d Bring With Me to a Desert Island

Castaway for instructional purposes

35: What Would I call my memoir

Schadenfreude

36: 7 Best Buzzfeed Unsolved Episodes (no particular order)

This is one of my favorite shows so these are my recommendations:

1. 3 Horrifying Cases of Ghosts and Demons - one of the very first and best episodes; a 45-minute special where the Boys investigate the Winchester house in San Francisco, the Island of the Dolls in Mexico, and the Sallie House in Kansas

2. The Strange Disappearance of D. B. Cooper - A man going by the name of Dan Cooper hijacked a plane, demanded money and passage to Mexico, and then at some point jumped out of the plane and was never seen again. To this day no one knows his identity or his fate despite some of the ransom money turning up in a river somewhere.

3. The Haunted Halls of Waverly Hills Hospital - Ryan and Shane explore an abandoned asylum in Pennsylvania and some creepy stuff ensues. One of the best supernatural episodes

4. The Thrilling Gardner Museum Heist - An almost hilarious story (with reenactments!) about a seriously inept security guard and the loss of some of the world’s most beloved paintings. This was one of the first episodes after they started making money and the production quality is off the charts 

5. The Scandalous Murder of William Desmond Taylor - Another excellent reenactment story about one of Hollywood’s first and biggest scandals, the suspicious murder of a leading film producer.

6. The Enigmatic Death of the Isdal Woman - A woman’s body was found suspiciously burned in the European wilderness and no one knows who she is or how exactly she was killed. Watch if you like espionage!

7. The Strange Killing of Ken Rex McElroy - An entire town seemingly rose up to murder a douchey, violent pedophile. One of the only episodes that’s actually happy?

37: 6 Things I would Have Changed About High School

1. Definitely would have joined yearbook as soon as I could

2. Wouldn’t have forced myself to swim for all 4 years; if the passion’s gone then you shouldn’t force it. It’s just a sign that you need to move on to better things

3. I would’ve taken more AP’s and maybe tried another stem ap class. I’ve always been self-conscious about how bad I am at math, but I’ve gotten a little better over the years and instead of being too afraid to challenge myself I would’ve liked to see how I could do and prove myself.

4. Worrying less about grades!! I killed myself over my grades for like three years and then I just kind of let myself go. I would have let myself have who knows how many more hours of sleep and taken the L on a couple of assignments; I’m still learning that my health is more important than perfection.

5. Meeting the right people! I wouldn’t have restricted myself to a few friends and would have branched out more by joinng stuff like JSA. It sucks meeting the right people your senior year and realizing that I was hanging out with the wrong people this whole time.

6. Spanish instead of French.

38: What Would I Name My Farm Animals if I had A Farm

I’d definitely name them all after female Shakespearian characters. My cows would be Hippolyta and Titania from Midsummer, my horse would be Desdemona from Othello, my chickens would be Gonereil, Regan, and Cordelia from King Lear and my goat would be named Gertrude from Hamlet

39: Most Useless Talent I Have

I have a really strong internal clock so when I don’t think about it too hard and guess intuitively I can usually predict how much time has passed/what time it is without looking at a clock. It’s really only useful for estimating how much time I wasted standing in the shower staring at the wall

40: Top Regret After Writing This:

Writing this instead of studying for my econ test in seven hours.

Thanks for reading!

[brianna-lei]

Butterfly Soup Asks #16

This time including the squad as DnD characters, Liz facts, Noelle getting her yaoi education, and more

I’ve only played Dungeons & Dragons once (1) in my life so I’m no expert! I’d consider my thoughts suggestions (like with my takes on the charaters’ MBTI types, which I’m not an expert of either): 

Noelle as a Wizard sounds right, since she definitely can’t do anything reliant on physical strength. She would be an asshole and attempt things like building a Clone Army

AKARSHA THE BARD. Rogue sounds too cool for her

Diya: I actually want to say she’s a Ranger because the Wiki on 5th edition says “The Beast Master archetype forges a connection between civilization and beasts, allowing the character to interact with animals in certain ways including gaining an animal companion to control.“ Fighter and Knight also sound plausible though! 

Min: Barbarian with high Strength and no Intelligence and Wisdom

I don’t want to say too much because I want to save things for the sequel, but here’s some stuff:

She actually played against Diya in youth leagues before she transitioned. That’s why she recognizes Diya+specifically approached her to sign the baseball club form while Diya doesn’t recognize her. At the first club meeting Liz tells her “I was at one of your games when you were little” -- This is purposefully ambiguous/misleading (sounds like Liz was just watching) because she passes and doesn’t want to out herself to a bunch of club members she doesn’t know well

After transitioning she quit baseball and switched to softball. It was weird being the one trans girl on a team of cis dudes, and additionally when she was younger she sort of felt like she had to prove she was a girl; she naturally has feminine taste, but she’d overperform it by 25%. It wasn’t until she got close to Chryssa and found out she also liked baseball that she reclaimed her interest in it

She has a nice resting face so strangers tend to ask her for directions 

Sunburns easily

Yesss check the FAQ guys! Fangames are fine as long as you explicitly say it’s a fangame!! 

I’m almost mad I didn’t think of this myself. I’m one of those people who overuses “spoopy” 

All art in the game (including the title screen) can be downloaded here!

NO!!! 

Noelle. The day the others find out will be the End of her

Akarsha was reading some yaoi so it came up in conversation, and since Noelle had never heard of it Akarsha gleefully educated her (to Noelle’s horror). Noelle was extremely scandalized that Akarsha kept sending her inappropriate images, and Akarsha was like “i’m doing this out of the kindness of my heart! it’s for ur education!! me: Master Teacher. call me sensei”  

Following this Akarsha changed her chat name to YAOI SEME as seen at the beginning of the game 

Diya and Noelle: Never tried it

Min: Has tried it 

Akarsha: She constantly makes weed jokes but actually only does it rarely 

Yes, I’m planning on exploring this more in the sequel! 

Diya; Dee-ya. Rhymes with “See ya”

Min-seo: Korean way, but most characters like Diya pronounce it like Min-so, with the “Min” rhyming with “win” (not like “mean”). The “so” is one syllable (not like “see oh”)  

Akarsha: uh-KAR-sha

Noelle: No L 

I was planning on making the sprites blink! I’m still a bit sad I didn’t end up doing it

It’s supposed to be fall 2008 when they’re in high school, but I took a LOT of artistic liberties when it came to the references. For example, Akarsha makes a Durarara reference even though the anime didn’t come out until 2010, and there’s a lot of modern memes that ended up in there too...I couldn’t hold back...

The IGF trailer video is especially modern-day meme-wise -- since it broke the 4th wall, it was like, all bets are off. Don’t think too hard about it!

I wanted to put a lot of 90s and early 00s hits in the game for the nostalgia factor, like Complicated, Rock Your Body, Dilemma, etc. I think it would’ve made the experience even more surreal for players who are around my age!

I don’t own the rights to all the music so I can’t distribute it around for people to download! Here’s where you can find everything:

Thought Projection by Ketsa

Holding Your Breath by Ketsa

Thoughts of You by Ketsa

2011-13 by Ketsa

Miyauchi Yuri/110515 (miltata remix) by Miltata

Night Tourist by Miltata

Sound413_Images(short) by Miltata

Sound429_Floating Cloud (draft) by Miltata

Side by Side by Miltata

Blooming by Miltata

Romaras by Miltata

Little Circle by Miltata

Daydream by Miltata

Calling Project 2 by .que

Flame of Love by YOSHI

Valar Morghulis by Bloodgod

Overflowing by Tatsuya Kato

My Heart Will Go On - Recorder By Candlelight by Matt Mulholland

At one point Diya finds out what it means on her own. After she finds out, she uses it for the actual meaning :) (added this to the FAQ now) 

I can totally relate to all of them, but I’d say Diya! (added this to the FAQ now) 

that sounds a bit alarming

(I added this to the FAQ page now, thanks for reminding me)  I’m fine with people shipping whatever!! The only thing I can think of that’d make me uncomfortable is incest and shipping Diya and Min with male characters – other than that, go nuts

Oh noo im sorry, that must’ve been stressful! For those who don’t know, I chatted about my game for a few minutes last week with MEGA (a USC club I used to be in!). I’ve adapted them here with what I assume what the questions were: 

1. Is that your cat on your Skype icon? 

yeah it is!! it's burrito 

(people think it’s a cute name) 

LOL glad you guys approve

2. Was the game made in Renpy? What do you think of Renpy vs. Twine? 

yep! it's made in renpy! I actually started out in twine -- twine is impossible if your game is like longer than an hour and is image heavy. the engine started lagging so bad it would take 30 secs to do anything

2. Would you eat a tiny 2 inch man for $100 million?

LOL it's hard..it's a lot of money. I don't think I would

(but you could use that money to save many more lives! utilitarianism) 

it's a real dude tho! i'd feel awful for him haha it's hard when you have to physically do it LOL

3. How long did it take for you to make Butterfly Soup? 

FOREVER. I thought of it in my junior year over winter break

4. Was it for school (like an assignment)? 

nah! just on my own

(people saying that’s impressive) 

yeah!! self motivation

5. What’s your favorite part of the game? 

hmmmmM I like the "date" with min in the dream. it's so fun, with the dog park

6. Which character do you relate to the most? 

diya!! social anxiety queen, so relatable

(people comment on how she runs around when anxious) 

i really did that before my sat once, ran 2 miles at the school's track

7. Are you from the San Francisco Bay Area

yeah i'm from the bay! east bay

8. Which year did you first come up with Butterfly Soup? 

winter 2014 i think

(people trying to calculate which year was my junior year) 

i graduated a year early so junior year was also senior year

9. Are you making a sequel? 

yes!! once ihave more time. i have a lot of ideas for stuff that goes after

10. Was this a prequel to Pom Gets Wi-Fi? Or maybe spiritual successor?

this is a prequel. i dunno about spiritual successor tho, they're a bit differnt

11. Any tips on how to balance schoolwork and working on personal projects? 

hmm...i honestly sucked at this and could only work on it on breaks lol...if you can try to work it into your school projects, like some bit of it...

other than that i cant think of anything LOL it's hard

12. How did you organize yourself making such a long game? Any tips? 

it was SUPER hard to organize, i was really lost until i split it into 4 sections with each character. so if you're planning on making a game this big definitely think about forcing yourself into sections like that

the art was the most confusing to do bc of how many assets there were. i was going to say "have consistent naming conventions" but that's literally impossible LOL it'll always become inconsistent no matter how hard u try

13. What part of the game took the longest (writing? art?) 

writing, actually, despite how much i complain about art assets. it's really hard making sure the structure and themes come across correctly. like pacing is so hard. art is like #2 biggest time sink

14. How early in did you write the Akarsha/Min skateboard scene?

that came pretty late haha i put it in at last second

15. Are the characters based on real people? 

they're all inspired by combinations of ppl i know! i wouldn't say based on them, tho. for example min is like a combination of 3 friends i have, strategically arranged to play her part in the story

character design is design so u still gotta be deliberate about it

16. Who’s the other cat on the computer? (they’re referring to the cat on my desktop wallpaper) 

that one's maru! he's a famous japaense cat. he's super photogenic

(people speculating that he’s the “tube one”) 

the tube one? probably. he's famous for going into stuff

17. What was your favorite aspect of working on the game? 

definitely getting to put specific Asian-American experiences into it

i was like HAHOH i can do this and no one can stop me! it was really fun getting to do this without any creative direction from like, a studio or anything. so i could just go bonkers. i hate pitching stuff so

18. Any writing advice? 

definitely have other people beta your writing as soon as possible! they always catch stuff you missed. also this is like a cheat, make your characters really extreme. like find one aspect of yourself, and turn it up to 11 and make it into a character. that way they'll be relatable and memorable at the same time. i think most people don't make their characters extreme enough so they're all kinda samey

19. (I can’t remember what they asked me here, sorry! They were asking if a specific meme was in the game)

LMAO nah it's not. i did briefly think about it though, i will admit

20. Would you eat a Gusher the size of your hand? 

that would be pretty cool. i don't think i could eat it all at once tho...i would try to save it. like half

You’re welcome, I’m really happy to hear it helped the game feel relatable!!  

Thank you! I hope you have a good day too!!

haha I feel like my game is almost propaganda bc so many people wish they had girlfriends after playing it! the agenda...Thank you for waiting for the sequel, it makes me super happy to hear people are looking forward to it! 

You’re welcome!! I’ll do my best!!! 

You’re welcome!!!! :>

You’re welcome!!! 

same I’m really happy so many people find them relatable! you’re welcome!! 

You’re welcome!! my kids can never get enough love im very happy 

I’m glad you liked it! Thanks for the support! TT_TT

[theaveragekenyan]

Hungry Heart...

Hungry Heart.

A quick game of ‘Family Fortunes’. (Family Fortunes the game show where the answers were requested from a publicly polled question, i.e)

Q = Name a type of American Food.

A = Hamburger ....our survey says, Hamburger ✅ Top answer.

Next;

Q - Name a type of Italian Food.

A = Pizza …our survey says, Pizza ✅ Top Answer

Next;

Q - Name a type of Kenyan food.

A = Ugali…our survey says, Ugali ✅ Top Answer. 

I’m confident the above responses would be the most popular answers to those questions if a survey were taken on the streets of Nairobi today.  

Ask Donald Trump, what’s better than a Hamburger? Juicy, succulent ground beef with tomatoes, lettuce, cheese, pickle, mustard, ketchup all held together by an air pumped bread bun…nothing fake at all about that. 

Or what about a Pizza? oven fired circular dough, topped with an infinite amount of cheese options under any mix of vegetables and meat varieties…a billion deliveries every year can’t be wrong.

And let’s not forget a Kenyan staple, Ugali, ground maize meal, mixed with boiling water and then formed into a solid white ball. Delicious, well, ok…it’s not really delicious…it’s more a way of life and enjoyed because there’s very little other choice. 

Kenyan Food is interesting, because historically, food has developed into…well…food.

The food theory hasn’t moved too far away from the ‘don’t eat, die’ philosophy rather than into fancy cuisine. 

This is why I find the average Kenyan meal to be “BnB”, basic and bland, and Ugali has to stand right up there as a great example of BnB food.

Ugali has various names across Africa and is eaten by many, so African’s aside, It is a guarantee that all foreigner’s will be quizzed by Kenyan’s to find out if they have eaten Ugali. If the answer is yes, the next question will be ‘do you like Ugali?’

And this is when the foreigner will become increasingly awkward, stutter and generally skirt around the BnB fact. The foreigner will mince out cloaked enthusiasm and say “Yes…I’ve tried it…it’s nice…I…..like it” blatantly, the foreigner doesn’t want to get anywhere near describing it’s taste or what it’s eaten with. Essentially anything to not offend the Kenyan national dish.

Then, in the not too distant future, the foreigner will be with the person, that asked all of the Ugali questions, when Lunch is served. 

Naturally, the foreigner will be bumped up to pole position in the queue for food.

The food will be covered, all the lids down on the large metallic serving trays and then one by one up they pop. First serving tray open and it’s a large fresh tray of steaming Ugali.

As the cellophane is proudly pealed away,  “Ugali” announces the Kenyan “You said Ugali is nice” 

Now the food server hears this and loves it, how they laugh as the heavy serving spoon sinks into the epic Ugali field. The foreigner is now looking at the true scale of Ugali, out comes a Rugby ball sized portion and is placed on their plate “is that enough?” the server asks without irony. 

“Yes, plenty, Asantee” squirms the foreigner politely. On piles the rest of lunch, but there’s not much room on the plate for anything else. So the foreigner sits down at a table, with their plate of Ugali and other small scale assorted bitings, as the Kenyan’s join.

They all ask the same question “Oh, you like Ugali?” “Yes, I do, but this is a little bit too much for me” replies the foreigner, only to be met with “Oh that’s not much really” from the Kenyan’s, the foreigner looks around and realises this is no lie, food is stacked up on top of Ugali which rises up to peoples chests, steam touching their chins. The foreigner takes the first enthusiastic fork full to barrels of laughter 

“Eat it with your hands” say the Kenyans, 

“We eat Ugali with our hands” the advice continues to come in. 

The foreigner now has to quickly scan around to check how that’s done, they see many shovelling hands with golf ball sized portions of Ugali, scooping up sauce and trapping bits of meat and spinach. The foreigner gives it a go, but soon realise they’ve broken off too much Ugali and now their ball is the size of a Tennis ball. Oh dear, now they’ve got to eat up more Ugali than they thought they ever could. Each bite feels like it’s draining brain juice as their mouth dries to resemble the Sahara desert. There’s easily still 4 more bites of the Ugali ball to go. It’s time for evasive action, “hmmmm tha wath delithuth” splutters the foreigner as they stand up, turn around and spit their mouths content onto their plate and scrape it into the bin, I’ll never eat Ugali again they tell themselves.  

I think the closest comparison to Ugali would be Mashed Potatoes, well mashed potatoes if you don’t add salt, pepper, butter and milk. At least with mashed spuds, the extra additions don’t stop there; cheese, beetroot, butternut, Brussels, balsamic vinegar, mustard, soy sauce, chilli sauce all work to break up the classic spud recipe’s monotony.  Nothing like that with Ugali, oh hang on…it can be made either white or brown…the only difference being, brown Ugali soaks up your blood. 

Speaking of Mashed Potato, there is a fancy mash version here called Mukimo, it’s very nice. It’s bright green and has whole kernels of hard maize in it. I prefer it to Ugali, but it’s definitely one to serve yourself and not have a Kenyan do it for you. 

For the the larger part of Kenya, food is readily available, but with the poverty found in such places as the Nairobi slums, food has to be simple and within a ridiculously low daily budget, people don’t have too much of a choice to be flambéing duck or questioning how many times their chips have been deep fried. 

From my travels, I’ve noticed that many Kenyan meals will have been cooked for a good proportion of the day. Usually a slow cook involves beans and pulses, incredibly healthy, wholesome and organic, but also served incredibly dull. It’s essentially a bean stew with little flavour or signature kick. It’s like a can of ‘no frills vegetable soup’ that’s been boiled for 5 hours. It has a certain appeal, but it’s nothing special, yet to talk to a Kenyan about boiled beans or “Githeri” as it’s called, is, as if, it is some kind of speciality cuisine. Each region seems to have it’s own version, but the variety doesn’t seem to change that much, maybe one region adds carrots or potatoes and that’s about it. I guarantee, if that dish had originated in one of the poorest regions of China, it would be a real delicacy now. Sure you’d get the odd bat claw stuck between your teeth, but nonetheless, I imagine it would be an overall tastier experience than “Githeri”. Thanks Chef’s of Kenya, but I’ll stick with the English delicacy of baked beans on toast, cupboard to table in less than 10 minutes. 

That slow cooking style reverberates through many culinary styles. In fact, most food is slow cooked, this is why the over 70’s love eating here. Pasta is never al-dente, cabbage doesn’t come with a crunch, meat is a lottery as to how how much jaw action will be needed and eggs are always over cooked. Unless you’re in a Western priced Hotel or restaurant, food is never considered to be served ‘just cooked’, I’m yet to find a boiled salad, but I know it’s out there. Note to self, Boiled Salad, somebody get me Heston Blumenthal. 

The word Koroga means 'to stir’ in Swahili. A ‘foody’ experience, that is often talked about, is the Koroga. This is apparently a uniquely Kenyan Swahili experience. However, from my experience, what I was told about a Koroga and what I actually encountered at a Koroga were two completely different experiences.

This is what I was told about a Koroga.

A Koroga is a get together of family and friends who will start the event off by selecting meats, vegetables, herbs and spices and then start adding them all into a large pot. These ingredients will be cooked by the party as as the pot is regularly stirred by the party, whilst  allowing everything to cook for about 4-5 hours.

A Curry based BBQ, I mean that sounds like a proper great time. 

No, not quite, in fact from my experience, this is what actually happens.

A Koroga is a get together of family and friends who, once everyone has arrived and is indicated to start will instruct a Chef to add meat, vegetables, herbs and spices into a large pan and then cook everything for the guests, this will be then served 3-4 hours later when the most stirred things are the guests who are totally shit-faced from all the boozing whilst waiting for the food to be cooked. I just think the Koroga idea hasn’t really been properly thought out. It’s closest relative the BBQ or Braai work extremely well, but its USP is about DIY food and standing around the grill complaining. The Koroga’s USP is that the Chef decided to cook everything outside rather than in the kitchen, sorry, I just don’t get the appeal. 

One dish that is cooked quickly, at least I think it’s cooked quickly, is Nyama Choma. 

Translated literally - Nyama is meat - Choma is burn.  A Meat Burn. 

“I’ve heard it’s going to be lovely on Saturday, so you’re all invited around to ours for a Meat Burn” 

Fortunately, the meat isn’t burnt, not like at UK BBQ’s,

The choices of meat are;

Mbuzi = Goat. 

Kuku = Chicken. 

Nyama = any other type of Red Meat that is from a Cow. 

Sorry Lamb and Pork, this scene is not for you, go find your own Meat Burn.

Just like any badly managed BBQ/Braai, the final cook quality is hit and miss, the hits involve nice juicy tender bites of meat and sucked out marrowbone.  The misses include, chewy, sinewy, fatty meat if you can find it, and once again the experience lacks imagination. The only seasoning you will get is salt and there will only be one accompaniment to the meat which is called Kachumbari, a mix of tomato, onion and chilli.

So Kenyan Meat Burn’s are for the real purists only. I do love Nyama Choma though, if not just for it’s back to basic 10,000 BC appeal. 

One experience I never tire of, is a Kenyan breakfast in a Hotel. The breakfast routine follows the International standard of the best planned meal of the day. It starts at the Juice bar and ends up at the bloated Pig table. There’s always a great choice at a Kenyan breakfast, although many will be disappointed at the lack of bacon on offer, that’s because Kenyan’s prefer sausages to Bacon hands down. 

I like that many of the previous nights dinner offerings will be now re-served for breakfast. So there are always surprises to be had like Green Banana Curry, Githeri, Fish stew, Roast Potatoes, Lentil Stew and anything else that didn’t get eaten the night before.

Hands down, my favourite experience of a Kenyan breakfast is observing the Egg Chef. You’ll know it’s the Egg Chef because they will be dressed like the top google image search for Chef. 

The egg is treated with the most respect, kept separately and away from all the other dishes that are hidden underneath aluminium lids. The Eggs will never come into contact with the mixed up serving spoons covered in bean juice and banana curry, they are not good enough for the eggs. But wait, what’s this, what’s hiding underneath here?, oh it’s the Hard Boiled Eggs, the common, dirty poor bastard parent of the free and easy, liberated, naked eggs that the Egg Chef will caress and massage into a beautiful work of art. 

The Egg chef will be situated at the start of the line, but when you want him, he won’t be there. I say he, the Egg Chef is always a he, no Woman in Kenya is considered prestigious enough to do this job. The Egg Chef and Kenyan President are two Jobs women will never perform. 

So what tends to happen is this, in the absence of the Egg Chef people will pile up their plates first. Then the Egg Chef appears exactly when he wants, just like the true artist he is, only then will the egg orders be taken. 

Now the only cooking utensils the Egg Chef possesses are a frying pan and a spatula. So this limits the type of egg available to either a Fried Egg or an Omelette. I always like to joke I’ll take a poached Egg, but it’s short-lived because nobody understands what I’m saying. Don’t be getting technical with the Egg Chef, his position of authority is untouchable. 

Fried Eggs will be cooked in either two choices, “cooked” or “sunny side up”. The majority of times I’ve requested Sunny Side Up, the eggs have been served closer to raw, which is a little too avant-garde for me. So, they have to be sent back which will be re-served ‘cooked’. 

My advice, request cooked. 

If you’re asking for an omelette it will be either served “with everything” or “without everything”. “Without everything” is a plain egg omelette “With everything” is an Omelette mixed with finely chopped onion, capsicum and chilli pepper. Both Omelette varieties are good, but as previously mentioned, they will be “cooked”, i.e a properly cooked through, no nonsense, fuss free, nothing moving, Omelette. That said, they go down well and the pomp and circumstance of the occasion overrides any need for a fancy, modern, runny consistency. 

I’ve spoken to many people that blame the style of Kenyan food on Colonisation. 

Typical, blame the Brits for bequeathing a bland stereotypical diet. 

This is not true, because anyone that says they don’t like British Cuisine then goes onto say, except they like Pork Pie, Mr Kipling Cakes, Sausage Rolls, Full English Breakfast, Chicken Tikka Masala, Black Pudding, Sausage and Mash, Fish and Chips, Mushy Peas, Deep Fried Mars Bar, Jammie Dodgers, Sunday Roast, The Tasting Menu at The Fat Duck, Gordon Ramsey swearing, Monster Munch, Jellied Eels and Roast Badger. 

There, conclusive evidence that England has a varied and incredibly well established culinary tradition of original and modern food. 

So whilst there is an excellent and extensive varied selection of Kenyan restaurants, serving truly excellent food, once you step outside of all that and roam into the realms of “lazy” Kenyan food, you will be craving Pickled Onion Monster Munch all day long. 

[raspberrybitters]

I Spent Like 3 Days Writing About Food

Killing time waiting for my roommate to get out of the fucking bathroom, and thought I’d make a list of friendly foods that have gotten me through some shitty times, because these past few days have been rough and I haven’t wanted to eat anything. Granted, I’m a chubby little pig right now, but for my entire adult life thus far I was able to remain vaguely sane and underweight on these foods without having to give in to anorexia and bulimia craziness.

The categories within are: 

General philosophies about food that kept me alive and sane during my thin days + which will hopefully return me to those days shortly

Dishes for eating with others 

Food to make up my daily intake otherwise 

Things to put on other food that won’t add much intake but will make it more nutritious, if I do have to eat something I don’t really like/feel safe about

Emergency “I’m gonna faint please help me” food.

General Food Philosophies That Have Helped Me

Eat more fish. 

Experiment with different fish-based dishes. Even dehyrdated fish made into a stock/broth is helpful and more nutritious than a dang bullion cube. Plus, dried fish are very easy to weigh out and portion, so you know exactly what you’re eating. (I do recommend lightly cooking them first with just a little bit of oil, to make the broth more even/less sour tasting.)

Basically, I’m saying that if you don’t like fish now, there is a way to find fish prepared in a way you do like. It has saved my ass so many times.

Be proactive about allergies. 

I’m allergic to a lot of uncooked produce (Google “oral allergy syndrome”), but I used to just eat it anyway because it was healthy. Stop doing that if you do! You’ll feel like shit and everyone will associate you with weird allergies, henceforth making you the “weird food issues friend.”

Further, when I didn’t pay attention to my allergies, I became afraid of any food that I might be allergic to. I was definitely unable to eat cherries, so I was cautious around fruit, and then any kind of sweet plant-based food. I ended up limiting myself to bland starches and just not eating because I didn’t want to eat large amounts of those, either.

Pay attention to what you don’t like. There are foods around you that you only eat because they’ve always been a part of your life and everyone around you seems to like them. 

When I realized it was usually just the least offensive combination of bread and cheese (North American problems, right?) that I was eating and perhaps I just didn’t like the vegetables and etc. that came with this type of diet because of the seasonings and styles of preparing food common in my area and culture, I realized I could eat all sorts of planets pickled. That made things MUCH easier because I had one extra safe food, rather than just not eating at all.

Dishes

This isn’t exactly what I eat when left to my own devices, but oftentimes I will have people over and I’ll want to be a good host and feed them. It’s a bit weird to cook for people but not eat with them… plus, one of the best things about food is that they have a social component, and I personally try to maintain a social appreciation of food as much as possible, despite having a fucked up relationship with it. 

I’m not suggesting any building a dinner party around this list, but they are good for feeding your friends and talking over a nice plate. Plus, if you ever bring a friend home and they’re extremely drunk/sick, you will 100% need to feed them. (This happens to me a lot…)

Bugeoguk

Dehydrated pollack and garlic stir fried in a little toasted sesame oil; 7 cups of boiling water + half a sliced up Korean radish, daikon, black radish, or similar fleshy-kinda radish with white insides; keep on boil for 20-30 minutes. Add some sort of salty liquid (fish sauce, soy sauce with extra salt to take out the sweetness… or something else, idk), then add egg and wait for it to cook. Then add green onion. You win!

This soup helps everyone. I add lots of hot pepper flakes and gochujang (hot pepper paste) to the broth because I like to make my nose run. My nose has bled as a result of my love for spice before.

With the amount of gochujang I add, I can usually get four bowls out of it for about 200 calories a bowl, and giving your guest rice with it makes it more filling.

Egg whites in/over bell pepper, plus hella green onions and whatever kind of hot pepper paste you have

GIANT FUCKING SALADS. 

For some reason they seem fancy and make people happy. They’re not fancy. I get the nice canned pink salmon (like the spendy kind, bc I can’t be fucked to cook it myself), bean sprouts, greens, sesame seeds or sunflower seeds, and something kind of sweet (maybe walnuts, maybe Mandarin orange slices, etc.). 

Squirting some lemon juice and water into a kind of slurry worked fine for a dressing for me because I’m not really into dressing and I don’t think my friends have ever cared either. I’m 99% sure salad dressing is a myth. Anyway, people are always like, “ooh, what a nice salad!”

If you bring someone home drunk, make them ramen, add two eggs while it’s cooking (broken or unbroken doesn’t matter. It’ll just mean you may have to feel and crush up a slightly boiled egg), put in hella green onion and nutmeg, and serve. 

If they want you to eat with them, you can drink some of the broth with just one of the eggs and seem extremely normal.

Beef (or very savory substitute, but I am 100% opposed to putting chicken in here for some reason), pepper paste, rice wrapped in lettuce.

People love shit you have to wrap before you eat. You participate by just not using as much ingredients within the lettuce.

Day-to-day Food

Here you can see how much fucking sodium I must ingest every day.

Hardboiled eggs, whites only

Give yolk to nearest animal if possible. Always made my family dog’s coat really shiny. (Of course, don’t give them too much, or they’ll get fat and have heart problems or… whatever it is that too many eggs do to you. I can’t remember. But it’s something.)

Berries

But I must be careful! I’m allergic to some fruits and it isn’t fun. I used to be able to eat kiwis and now they make my mouth super itchy… so perhaps someday this list item will be no more. My body seems to hate fruit. :(

Pickled ginger

Pickled radish (all kinds, including the very cute pickled watermelon radish)

Any vegetable that I’m not allergic to + gochujang

Straight lettuce or bean sprouts, rinsed well

Add To Any Food

Add to any dish if you need to make it healthier or bulkier without adding too much to your daily intake.

Bean sprouts

Example: if everyone at the office is eating some sort of sub sandwich and it would be strange not to, just cut the bad ingredients in half and ask for a ton of bean sprouts

Egg whites

Kelp and/or dried (not roasted) seaweed, while cooking

Emergency

When you feel very unwell or know you will only get one chance to eat that day and would like to keep your metabolism up.

Rice topped with toasted sesame oil

Rice with bell peppers (chopped), egg whites (beaten first if necessary, then scrambled with peppers), and green onions

Steak

Hear me out, pals. I know steak is what clogs arteries and ugh, the idea of eating cows, etc., etc., but there is a Chipotle every two feet in my city. (I’m only exaggerating a teeny bit.) If I’m out and about with friends and get extremely lightheaded or something, there is a good chance they’ll be all like ~*~Chipotle, let’s go, why not, it’s lunch, it’s predictable, it’s never bad!~*~ and you can get steak alone. It’ll fix you.

Further, I feel like I could just buy the cubed steak from them and eat it as I’m walking around and my friends would just think it was a quirk.

[curioscurio]

just saw a post abt coran headcannons and wanted 2 make one :)

yall  think shiro’s space dad but its actually a part time job that he shares with coran

he feed u soup and keeps u worm when ur sick

but when HE’S sick he’ll either work till he’s dying or keep it from everyone. He’ll completely deny he has anything unless it puts the team in danger (ex: lightly poisoned? mamma didn’t raise no pussy. Contagious poison? don’t touch me im sterile) 

sleep is a suggestion to him. Alteans don’t need as much sleep as humans anyway, but coran is constantly awake and ON THE MOVE. basically a cryptid

he’s always around in case any of the paladins have nightmares or insomnia at night or something and makes them sweet root tea or something. :’’-)

eyes and markings glow when super happy or excited (allura too!)

he’s ripped as fuck hes goddamned beefy and when the paladins find out they’re like: ?!?!?!?!

lance: he’s..... thicc

coran has no favorites (lance) but will go the extra mile to make every paladin laugh if they’re feeling down

talks to the lions when repairing them or just hanging around them. he tells them stories and jokes. blue thinks he’s sweet but green nearly falls over laughing bc she thinks he’s so funny. then when he tells a pidge a joke and she doesnt get it he’ll grumble and say smthng like “green would have laughed..”

this guy CAN FLIRT 

seriously, one time they were on a mission and both coran and allura were there for diplomatic reasons and the prince of the alien planet started getting fresh with allura. coran swoops in.gently takes his hands. leads him away from allura looking into his eyes. he’s got the most charming voice and smile ad says something like “ i can see the universe in your eyes” tHE ALIEN IS DEAD HE’S ENDED. 

paladins have memes about him 

“vore me daddy coran” (this is his least favorite)

* pidge goes up to the beefiest alien with the biggest muscles ever* “coran... is that you... how did you get here...”

*lance and keith making out* “you know who’s the best?” “hmm?” “coran” “lance what hte fuck”

they actually love him a lot and when they’re concerned abt him he doesn’t quite get it bc he’s the advisor not a paladin or the princess?? ‘why would you guys worry about me im replacab-” “NO??? FUCK OFF??? YOU’RE THE BEST???”

has TONS of tiny scars on his hands from mechanic work but they’re so fucking smooth and soft like a little baby hand. everytime he takes them off u can hear someone running down the hall “GLOVES OFF” and someone dives to the ground to hold his hand

WANTS TO FIGHT EVERYTHING? 

i mean he’s very diplomacy first and shit but if someones down to fight or threatening the paladins... gloves off. he socks them right in the face and starts a huge fight which he wins. it’s actually a little scary.like he’s all dirty and torn up and wiping blood from his nose with his knuckles and spits on the guy he just pummled. the guy is crying. he turns back to the paladins with a wide grin and and goofy laugh “sore losers am i right ;-)”

allura can beat him in a fair fight and he doesn’t hold back (too much) 

hands shake when anxious and gets real clumsy. ;ike theres a line. normally he has sturdy hands, if he’s nervous or anxious or paranoid they shake like the devil and he trips over stuff and you want to keep him out of the mechanic room (unfortunately thats the first place he’ll go) however he can stitch up your wound faster than lightning, and is very calm in the face of real hardcore danger

Paladin specific headcannons under the cut:

Lance:

would die for coran and vice versa

reminiscence about home planets together

is very gentle with coran, even though coran is usually the rock 

GOD HE GETS SO ANXIOUS ABT HIM SOMETIMES LIKE coran will do something incredibly dangerous like hanging from the rafters upside down (he’s done it so many times) or going days on end without sleep (really it’s for a project) or engineering something with dangerous substances that often can and will blow up in his face ( i s2g i will save u from another explosion)

complains to the paladins about the shit coran makes him go through but also wouldn’t have it any other way

Pidge:

TERRIBLE INFLUENCE ON HIM

both of them will collaborate on a project and then you won’t see them for days.

they live in the Castle Basement where they do experiments and shit. Pidge is worse than Coran about sleep so they have a couch down there that coran will carry pidge to and lay her on if she falls asleep during work.

if pidge is with him, coran makes sure to schedule breaks and snack times so pidge doesnt crash horribly. he brings her food and makes sure they don’t stay cooped up for weeks.

pidge knows this which is why she helps him so often ( that and she really enjoys learning new altean tech and hanging w him) 

will march in and drag coran from a project if she thinks he needs to take a break or a NAP 

Hunk: 

hunk loves to draw and sketch and whittle and stuff in his spare time! coran can barely hold a pencil. hunk teaches him how to draw and paint and coran just loves it so much. “coran what are you painting” “it’s a sworlump” “it looks nice” 

in turn coran teaches hunk how to whittle. hunk has shaky hands so learning this is helping him be more confident with his strokes and dexterity! 

hunk can FIND coran. he’s got a detector. he senses him. if corans sick or smthng or injured but trying to hide it he can sniff it out like a hound dog and is the only one that can actually get him to rest or visit the medbay. usually ends up carrying him there. i love hunk. 

Keith: 

it’s not that he doesn’t worry about coran (he does a lot) he just gets pissed a lot bc he doesnt get why coran can’t see how important he is. 

but also trust coran to know his limits 

wants coran to spot him when he trains bc if he’s training with the other paladins he has to keep a stoic face and perfect form. but since he does it to burn out stress, he gets really messy and emotional and nasty when he does it. like he’ll get so frustrated and cry and tear shit up and halfheartedly swing his bayard until he’s all drained. 

coran doesnt ever judge and makes sure he doesn’t go past his limits or something. can calm him down if he’s super distressed without it feeling patronizing. 

Shiro:

SHIRO HAS A MAJOR CRUSH ON CORAN LMFAOOO

GETS FLUSTERED AROUND HIM ALL THE TIME

coran: *smiles*

shiro: i would die for you

can train comfortably with coran as well as allura! but allura is sometimes too intense for him and he needs someone who is really in control of the whole thing. coran knows how to disable his arm if things get too wack. coran is a really good parter to spar with bc he likes to do funny banter and keeps shiro from getting lost in his head. 

shiro will eat anything coran hands him without hesitation. everyone else is??

turns out shiro has no taste buds but it makes coran happy so

coran once had to carry shiro out of battle bridal style and shiro couldn’t stop blushing for hours 

Allura: 

they’re so mischievous together lmfao

you’d think coran would be the one to be like “no allura you could get hurt!!” but unless it’s a huge life or death situation he’s such an enabler for her and vice versa. “HEY ALLURA I BET YOU CAN’T SHOOT THIS APPLE FROM KETIHS HEAD LL THE WAY FROM THE BRIDGE” “coran you fool i am the strongest one on this ship i can do anything” They’ll both find the most dangerous animal on whatever planet they’re on and ride it. coran used to be against her drinking and stuff but now that theres been a war going on they’ll basically do shots together and talk abt altea. THEY LOVE TO FUCK WITH THE PALADINS 

“oh no!! it seems Lance has caught the.. uh.. Altean stomach worms...”

“oh yes princess... so sad. we will miss you lance.rip in peace”

“princess have you drunken your florppinus potion this month?”

“ ...........OH YES THAT ONE. YES IM ALL READY FOR THE RECKONING. PRAISE THE ALLENIUM”

coran: did you know alteans can breathe pure quintessence?

lance: :O

allura: *holds up a jar of mouthwash* it’s so beautiful

[lugoisnumerouno]

REVIEWING: The Habit

IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT THE HABIT OR BURGERS OR FOOD OPINIONS SKIP THIS B/C ITS HELLAAAA LONG ILL SEE YOU AT THE NEXT TIME OK BYE ~ Okay so this review of the Habit was inspired solely because I found out that if you sign up for the Habits email rewards service that you get a free char burger scan code in your inbox. So thus, with that information, this review was born. I have been registering all of my email accounts under different names and I’ve been going to different Habits every single time throughout Santa Clarita and the San Fernando Valley. I am determined to try every single char burger on the menu, which shouldn’t be too hard since they have only 4 different types of char burgers on the menu. There is the teriyaki burger, the grilled onion portabella burger, the Santa Barbara burger and the BBQ bacon burger. So without further ado here is my review of each burger, that was brought to you by my finessing abilities. March 19th 2018 The Teriyaki burger. It is only JUSTICE! to review this burger first. I love the concept of having grilled pineapple on my burger. It makes it sweet, tangy, citrusy and it adds a delicious scent to it. A lot of the times when you go buy tacos al pastor you can see that they cook the meat with grilled pineapple. This gives the meat a juicy sweet flavor that is unmatched. It is different than orange infused meats or lemon infused meats. Pineapples are a happy medium that give meat a tangy, sweet flavor. It was after calc that I decided to get this burger. I saw on Facebook that The Habit was giving away free burgers to people who signed up to their char burger email list. I pounced. If it’s free it’s for me, and I would love to try all of their burgers on their dime. So when I went to the Habit near my house I was surprised that I had to pay 33 cents because I thought I got a free burger. No honey, I got a free char burger with cheese, the basic normal one, if you want an upgrade you have to pay the difference. But that’s okay, I went to my car and grabbed 33 cents from my change compartment and ran back to get my teriyaki burger. Let me tell you it is delicious, you can’t go wrong with pineapple meats. They give you a whole circle wedge of grilled pineapple which by the way is the best and the meat is so juicy and moist. It was fully cooked and it had caramelized onions which are the WAY TO GO! Caramelized onions that are grilled to perfection soak up the juices/fat of the meat and deliver you flavor. The pickles are good but In-N-Out’s pickles are better. The mayo is a must on sandwiches and I am glad to see that it is on the teriyaki burger. Side note: vegan mayo is just as good and is tbh much healthier and is a great substitute if you want to cut out an egg product in your life. The buns on this burger were good and fresh. It was a good burger. But that teriyaki sauce was atrocious, I tried to ignore it but it was bothering me too much which is weird because the first and second time I ordered a teriyaki burger I loved the sauce. This time it felt fake and too sweet, it was too much with the pineapple, maybe if they cut the sweetness of the sauce it would be better. But as for now, the teriyaki burger from the Habit is my go to whenever I visit that joint and until next time peace out mis amigos :)   March 21st 2018 The Grilled Onion Portabella Char Burger. I went to the Habit near my school and I ordered a portabella char burger. I was thinking about getting the bacon one but I felt like the portabella was a healthier option and I wanted to try their aioli sauce. The burger was just a burger. The meat though was fantastic, it was warm and juicy. It was thick. And the mushrooms were just mushrooms. I used to be obsessed and in love with grilled mushrooms and I would want them on my steak, on my burgers, in my tacos. I wanted them everywhere but now as an adult I’m not really into them. I don’t think they are disgusting but I don’t savor them as much as I used to. They are kinda bland and they only taste bomb when they are grilled or hidden in soup. But even on this grilled burger, these mushrooms were just mushrooms. Nothing special. The burger had a delicious bun that is characteristic of the Habit and their tomatoes were fresh and I like the way they cut their lettuce. Very different from In-N-Out which gives you giant wedge slices of lettuce so much so that sometimes you have to eat a part of the lettuce first before you take a bite into your burger or else your first bite is going to be 20% burger and 80% iceberg lettuce. The Habit chops up their lettuce, making it easier to eat and more organized and more appealing. I like the lettuce chopped up like that thank you very much. Now for the best part of the portobello burger: the AIOLI SAUCE. DELICIOUS AF. The only reason I would order this burger ever again would be to taste that delicious sauce. It was white with things inside of it, tbh I couldn’t get a good look at it I was too busy chomping down on my burger. I loved the sauce so much that I licked it up off the wrapper with my finger. I loved this sauce. My go to Habit burger is the Teriyaki burger and if I had to choose one burger out of the ones that I have tried so far: The Teriyaki burger or the Portobello burger, I would still choose the Teriyaki burger but hands down the Portobello has the better sauce of the two. I would order the Teriyaki and get the aioli sauce on the side. Also the very nice cashier was such a sweetheart to me, I wanted to be her friend. She let me have a free drink :) (I filled it up with half Sprite half water). So to wrap up today's trip to the Habit, the Portobello burger is Veronica approved because of the sauce. If you are indifferent about mushrooms and don’t care for aioli sauce then skip this burger but if you are curious then try this. The mushrooms were just mushrooms, they could have done them better. Maybe if they cooked the mushrooms WITH the hamburger meat and let it soak up the juices and let it become charred with the burger and maybe added something spicy it would be bomb. BOMB. run me my check @theHabit, I just gave y’all a winning idea. (Also: when I was eating my burger I ordered it “for here” and I was eating my burger and reading up on the ingredients on the Habits website and one of the employees got really close to me and I instantly shifted my phone away from them because I felt embarrassed and didn’t want the employee to see that I was checking up on them on their website….OOPS ) Btw the difference I paid was 94 cents. March 23rd 2018 The Santa Barbara Char Burger. There was a lot of anticipation and hype behind this burger. I searched up photos of this delicious looking snack online and it looked massive. The burger itself looked like a whole meal, there seemed to be a substantial amount of guac and the sourdough bread looked fresh and toasted at the same time. I took my brother out to get a burger as well, he got the regular ol’ char burger with cheese and his complaint was that there was not enough mayo and that the burger tasted better without the pickles. My sister didn’t get anything and just napped when we were there. The Santa Barbara Char burger was everything that I expected. The guac was amazing, it had chunks of avocado which I loved and it was a hefty amount of guac that was spread out evenly which I appreciated. There's nothing more annoying than pay extra for guac and getting a tiny little spoonful, this was the opposite, the Habit was generous with its guac. (Actually I’m not sure if you could call this a guac, it was just mashed up avocado chunks, it’s not the guac you would imagine with chopped tomatoes and onions etc.) The tomatoes were delicious and sweet and the lettuce was shredded and the burger came with two hamburger patties and two slices of cheese. The patties were thick and juicy, they retained their moisture and were grilled. The burger also had grilled onions, which could have been better. I feel like the Habit serves you grilled onions that they have pre grilled, so when you eat your burger your grilled onions are disappointingly cold. Anyways the SB burger comes with 2 slices of cheese and 2 patties, a good amount of avocado, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and grilled onions all on toasted sourdough bread. The sourdough bread makes this burger unique. It gave it a lighter taste to the burger and it was delicious, it was perfect. The sourdough bread is what makes this special, it also looks more like a sandwich than an actual burger. The sourdough bread is perfect on this. This was a messy burger and it was a lot so it will definitely fill you up. I had to take half of it to-go. You can add jalapeños from the bar to this and ask for the aioli sauce (on the side if you haven’t tried it before) if you want to be extra. It's a good, fulfilling burger that was definitely worth it and I would get it again. However, can it be better? Yes, yes it can be. Now is it better than the teriyaki burger? Maybe, it's definitely in that realm bc I’m in love with grilled pineapple but I love the complexity of this burger and plus its a lot more burger. However that being said I might have just found my new go to Habit char burger. :) - NONE OTHER THAN, YOU MAJESTY, VERONICA