#bc it really bothers me that he just wont talk abt it

[g0thsoojin]

.

[fangirltothefullest]

re: the voting stuff

you are so right. i see so many younger ppl talking abt how we shouldnt vote for biden but they never seem to actually know any of the stuff hes gotten done, only the stuff he hasnt done. but they also dont seem to know that for some of those things he tried and was prevented or theyre still a work in progress. its like they think he can just magically do things overnight? idk it really just seems like they get their info from a few slides on an instagram post or from a random tiktok and never bother to actually do any research of their own yk?

and like i told someone i plan to vote for Biden bc im worried about what a republican president would turn america into and they got mad at me saying that i care more about myself than Palestine and other countries. but like a) how tf would a republican president be better about whats happening? and b) im allowed to care about my own life? and if our country is in hell how are we supposed to help anyone else? its like on airplanes, you have to put your mask on before helping others because otherwise you wont be able to help anyone

its just making me feel crazy

Honestly it's so annoying when people use the Palestine issue because yes he's not making responsible decisions about it, and yes we should call bim out for it and yes we should keep pressuring him but had a republican been in office the response would be worse and more violent OR absolutely ignore it completely in favour of human trafficking Mexican people in our own country which is what Trump wants.

So like do we pick the kill your grandma, kill anyone not white and rich and a man, and allow child labor party or the get a lot of good done and fuck up a few things party?

There is no "Oh don't vote" there is only "you vote because not voting allows trump to win"

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

ofmd s2e2 rewatch where i pause to jot down my thoughts and other random shit

not quite a reaction post, not quite a liveblog. this post is gonna be unpolished and messy bc this is the only way i know to process my emotions abt these episodes enough that i can actually start talking coherently about them.

s2e1, s2e2, s2e3, s2e4, s2e5, s2e6, s2e7, s2e8

did not notice the first time around that buttons is sleeping with his legs sticking up resting against the side of the ship. king.

WHY DID THEY USE A DIFFERENT TAKE OF THE YOU WEAR FINE THINGS WELL SCENE WHAT PURPOSE DOES THIS SERVE. THIS HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME FOR DAYS.

oh god the face stede makes after he breathes out all wistfully is so pained... ogughuhg heartbreak......

why is the groom cake topper dirty ed were you kissing it. ed. edward.

hNNNG ed pushing the painted bride figurine closer..... im gonna throw up

ed!! rolling over and crying!!! TAIKA HOW ARE YOU SO GOOD AT LOOKING SO FUCKING SAD THIS SHIT HURTS ME

like i can literally feel the tears burning in his eyes. the way his chest starts shaking with sobs but he's managing to keep the sobs in for like one more second. he's trying so hard to hold it in and i've cried like this before and it physically HURTS

also oughg the song. run from me baby... run my good wife... run from me baby..... you better run for your life........ ED THINKS THAT'S WHAT STEDE DID!!! RAN AWAY FROM HIM!!!!! and he thinks that was stede running for his life bc like, he thinks he's inherently monstrous and unlovable and hnnnnnnnnngggg. ed teach go to therapy challenge.

the crew responding to zheng's wake-up bell is so relatable. me when my alarm goes off at 6am

ok so the running bit where stede's crew has never heard of China before. is kinda weird to me. and honestly it kinda runs back to what zheng said in the last episode "one thing i've learned in my time here: you people know so little" about nobody knowing how valuable indigo is. like the show is portraying your average caribbean pirate as really ignorant and only like, ed stede and fucking ricky are on par with zheng yi sao. and i mean knowledge doesnt equate to intelligence so like the indigo thing i didnt really bat an eye at but when it was played for comedy with olu not knowing how to pronounce china i was like... hm. but the season's just started so maybe im reading too much into it but idk. it's a weird writing choice to me.

loving how at the start of last season the crew almost mutinied bc stede was a soft captain but now roach is out here embracing how all of them are "tender as hell."

love how lucius and pete have their romantic reunion chat just. fully in front of an audience

stede looks. so upset. watching lupete kiss. this man misses his boyfriend so fucking bad

lucius not even trying to hide how much he Does Not want to be stuck with stede in towels

also hi the sky in this scene is so pink. it was blue when buttons was doing tai chi so i guess this is sunset. day one complete.

buttons confirmed sea witch one of the best scenes in s2 so far. intrigued by auntie saying "i have looked for you far and wide" like are there other sea witches and auntie only wanted buttons?? or is buttons literally the only sea witch in the world. i want the lore.

ed. eddie eddie edward. ed my beloved babygirl. i would fuckinggg die for you

ok but also there is literally no way frenchie didnt see ed when he walked in like ed is standing Right There. i love when directors do stuff like this tho it's so funny to me. "ok joel just walk in there and pretend like you dont see taika standing literally right in front of you"

just noticed ed was polishing the handle to the wardrobe (the main wardrobe) right there. he's tidying up. getting his affairs in order before he— *i break down into inconsolable sobbing*

i wont like tho it was very funny to me when we finally got this full scene and ed's "and no more stede" turned out to be "no more izzy." very fun for me

god i LOVE when we get pirate code shit. none of these rules ever make sense it's always just whatever works for the plot's sake. "that's the code of the sea: the new first mate always kills the old first mate. it's always been like that" i don't think it was literally ever like that i think the writers decided that making up this bullshit rule would add drama to the situation. it's like how pirates can win duels by rendering their opponent's sword inoperable (as if pirates ever had like ritualistic duels). or next episode when zheng yi sao is gonna kill them for mutinying against ed. i love how all the logistics of the plot are always some handwavy-bullshit bc the show just Does Not Care about this shit. this is the ed and stede show and everything else is just superfluous set dressing

we were all fixated on lucius living in the walls none of us predicted that it could be izzy living in the walls

"start with his leg see where it goes" frenchie what does this MEAN

archie thinking jim was asking which leg to cut off and just. answering the question genuinely. is so fucking real lmao me too girl

JIM PUTTING THEIR HAND OVER ARCHIE'S TO BRACE THEMSELF BEFORE THEY START CUTTING INTO IZZY'S LEG... the romances on this show are unparalleled

archie when izzy's leg starts gushing: aye yai yai!

stede telling everyone in laundry abt his whole romance with blackbeard. and stede telling zheng and auntie abt blackbeard when he thought they were just soup sellers. you KNOW stede's been telling literally everyone he meets abt how he's looking for his beloved ed.

lol ok but cuba was not written on the map in the one shot and then stede says "oh, hang on, he might be in cuba!" and it cuts back to the map and he underlines the word "cuba" which somehow mysteriously appeared on the map while stede was chatting. 10/10 no notes

also GOD do i relate to stede so hard sometimes. it did not even occur to stede to ask lucius how he's been until lucius points it out and then he's like "oh! right! how are you??" and he does genuinely care but he was just so absorbed in his own shit it did not occur to him to ask. like. ohhhh baby does that hit home

LUCIUS DRAMATICALLY PAUSING IN THE DOORWAY WHEN STEDE TELLS HIM TO WAIT. HIS HANDS ON EITHER SIDE OF THE DOOR AND HIS HEAD BENT. THIS FUCKING DRAMA QUEEN I LOVE HIM!!!!

LLOOKING OVER HIS SHOULDER "oh, yeah. now you care?" AND THNE SHAKING HIS HEAD AS HE WALKS AWAY god i LOVE this soap opera

ok but buttons looks very confused when auntie says "i see you've adopted the humble form of a man" and then she hands him the book abt shapeshifting. like did she know that he doesnt know how to change form or what.

auntie asks buttons to bless their travels. anyway this is how stede somehow didnt get everyone killed in e1 despite the fact that they were at sea for a few months and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing.

LOVE auntie's little... yell? whimper?? before shuffling away nervously. incredible performance.

also the spellbook thing is in chinese. pretty cool how buttons knows how to read chinese.

ed jumpscare 2!

frenchie's "fire away. not literally, i hope" I MISSED THAT THE FIRST TIME KJSGHKFJDGHJHK WHAT A GREAT FUCKING LINE

love how irl frenchie using the wrong hand for that throat-slitting pantomime would be unimportant but the show acts like that's something that could actually give frenchie away bc they need to really nail home the fact that Ed Is A Fucking Genius

another thing ed is: INCREDIBLY HOT. he is being intimidating and evil to frenchie rn and i am very very into it.

obsessed with archie casually picking some random gore off her hand

also obsessed with how jim is just poking at izzy's leg. they learned how to butcher animals as a kid tho so i guess they're not really grossed out by severed body parts lmaoo

also also obsessed with how izzy would absolutely have not survived this at all. i love this show

list part 2:

ok im sorry but "he's our dick" does not feel earned to me. like they use that fantastic shot of the whole crew in episode 6 last season but what's crucial abt that shot is izzy isn't hanging out with the crew. he's sitting away in the corner monologuing abt how he thinks maybe ed might not want to kill stede.

i do think it's significant tho that jim wasn't there for izzy at his worst aka threatening to withhold rations for laughing at him. like they weren't part of the vote to mutiny against izzy. but frenchie was and frenchie was like "start with his leg see where it goes" which does not seem like he's really that invested in keeping izzy alive.

also it's weird how we don't see fang at all for this bit with hiding izzy in the walls. like he would be the one i'd expect to have the strongest connection to izzy bc he knew izzy before the show started and he was hugging and comforting izzy last episode.

anyway imo jim keeping izzy alive is more abt them missing when they were on the ship with olu and the whole crew and the ship was like a family, not necessarily abt feeling loyalty to izzy specifically. i could be wrong tho who knows.

one thing i do know is that it is VERY important to point out how jim is struggling really hard with everything, archie is not. she wasnt there for the co-captaining era at all and she seems to be rolling with everything like it's all expected. this includes the wedding raid and ed pointing a gun at her last season and stuff. even now she's mostly just confused by why jim is bothering to try and keep izzy alive. but she acts like the amputation and the violence are all what she expected.

yay kissing!! with the shit stuffed up their nose and covered in blood and jim still holding the leg GOD I LOVE THIS SHOW

hnng when archie says "you have... hope" jim's jaw tenses and they visibly swallow after the word "hope." god jim is going through it

"the wooden demon boy that thirsted for life" god i love this game of telephone that the show is playing with pinocchio it's so fucking funny

archie definitely still says a few syllables after "no i was cleaning up blood" while jim was leaning in for another kiss but none of it forms a coherent word. relatable.

ed's "ohhhhohoho. ohoho" is so funny to me. this man is so jealous that other people are getting to kiss ppl they like but not him.

hm archie and jim are not actually kissing when we cut to the shot of ed standing in the stairwell. i imagine this is an editing goof or something

jim and archie pulling away like two kids who got caught kissing under the bleachers during gym class or something. incredible. one of jim's nose plug rags is mysteriously missing now. i think archie ate it.

ed shushing frenchie. nothing to say here but "i need him carnally"

"take the fuckin leg" ed does NOT like mess!!!

"he was your friend" well jim. he might have been ed's friend. but he had a very strange way of showing it.

why does it sound like ed has spurs on his boots

OLU IS SO CUTE I CANT BLAME ZHENG FOR BEING LIKE "you're doing so good at filing thanks so much!!" WHEN HE'S ACTIVELY FUCKING EVERYTHING UP

also. i want to know about auntie's filing system. ahead of it's time, you say?? tell me more. hi my name is jess and i love sorting things

ah yeah olu mispronouncing china moment

olu and zheng are cute tho ngl

roach is having an orgasmic experience drinking soup. very relatable.

love that stede called the broth "insane" like fics so often get stede's voice wrong bc he will randomly say casual slang in a way that contradicts his general s1 vibe of stuffy frilly rich guy. but he's more like your average dad whose general grammar when speaking is pretty outdated but he's also trying to use slang to fit in with his kids

oh god stede is trying so hard with lucius it is giving SUCH awkward dad vibes. "when i was young and edgy" and "mr. cool" STEEEEDE

"my spicy little rat boy" im so sad that lucius hates that pet name bc this is the funniest thing black pete's ever said

aw nooooo the way pete jumps when lucius yells at him :(:(:(

yo wee john has like a wristband with all these sewing needles and shit stuck on it that's such a cool costume detail

the first thing izzy says after waking up is "my leg" and in my head im hearing it in the spongebob meme voice

first: very funny how ed responds "yeah!" like, laughing about the whole. amputation thing. and then secondly i am obsessed with "up in Leg Heaven" he is so fucking quirky. i love him.

"have you come to take the other one" yeah you'd probably enjoy that huh izzy.

love ed's dangly earring. gender.

smthng abt how izzy is instantly exhausted and dismissive when ed tells izzy to take the gun vs how ed was also bored and dismissive when izzy said "i have love for you." idk if there's anything there im just making tenuous connections in my head rn

help. ed clenching his fists when he's standing with his back to izzy. he really wants izzy to do it but also even deeper than that he really doesn't he wants to live

izzy starts to laugh the same way he started to cry last episode with like a really loud sudden gasp of air. also he laughs so weirdly jesus christ

also jesus this is so fucking dark. i mean obviously but im fucking reeling right now from ed trying to get izzy to kill him and izzy's response is just "do it yourself you fucking pussy." fuck.

more thoughts on this scene here

"i loved you... best i could" i actually dont have a lot of thoughts abt this at all aside from it just seems like a weird thing for ed to say. idk. i have a few metas abt this saved that ive been meaning to read so maybe that will help me deconstruct this but i think i'd need more time to figure out why this line feels weird to me. it could literally just be that i dont like blackhands at all but idk. probably not gonna unpack my feelings for a while tho bc in terms of everything i want to dig into from these 3 episodes alone this is at the bottom of that list lol

love how ed tells frenchie "go live" right before he steers them into a storm and tries to doom everyone on the ship.

"two messed-up kids probably" i know this is one of those things that some viewers are just always gonna have a problem with but it's so fucking funny to me how stede is like. never seeing his children again. and is like "yeah they're probably traumatized by how i was a bad father. well that's for mary and doug to deal with!"

lucius winking when he calls stede quite the fuck-up. i love this snarky gay

anyway for how fucked up the vibe is on ed's ship at least they weren't playing human puppet or making people catch rats with their teeth

shit this is longer than the last post. anyway list part 3:

ok i completely forgot abt this scene where the crew back on the Revenge is talking in the hallway before they go confront ed but i think it's rlly interesting how jim is the only one who says anything abt how ed's sudden cheery mood is NOT a good thing. fang is like "do we think he's better?" and jim's like "fuck no!" and frenchie's like "idk he seemed pretty calm to me." like this is so fucking juicy to me. jim knew this wasn't "better." i think this is because jim kinda gets it. they know what it's like to be told you're only meant for violence. and they know what it's like to want something softer. last season i probably wouldnt have said jim understood ed's suicidal tendencies but the way jim KNOWS that this isnt better makes me wonder if they understand this, too.

altho when they go outside and ed is like "it's a bad storm! and i took the wheel! and im gonna fire into the mast! we're all gonna die!!" jim yells "what do you want, you piece of shit!" (in spanish) so maybe they dont get the suicide bit of it. but they did understand that ed wasn't better.

oh ed's voice in "what do i want?" is so whiny and sad. babygirl is fucking going through it. good thing the rain is hiding his tears ahaha. ha.

"all love dies im just hastening the process" objectively this is fucked up but also it is so funny to me that he's like "i got dumped so now nobody else is allowed to be happy and in love." he broke up all the couples at the end of s1 and he raided a fucking wedding. babygirl i love you. you are so unwell

VERY RANDOM THOUGHT and i would have to go back to last episode double check but i dont think any of the background crew are women?? it's just archie??? which kinda bums me out a bit like i dont only want female rep in the main cast i want to see random background women too. i could be entirely wrong abt this tho just in this scene i only see dudes in the background

anyway archie being like "alright i guess we're fighting" bc this is archie's normal. archie is just kinda resigned to her life being shit.

stede crossing out "dead" and circling "alive" is so fucking funny to me hfjkhdjvgdfjk like. manifesting.

but also he does kinda manifest that in the next episode doesnt he?? he loves ed back to life ahaha oh god oh fuck *starts sobbing*

"looks like he's gotten back into arson" okay and??? wee john's an arson enthusiast also, cmon lucius dont judge a man for his hobbies

stede's fucking face when he considers what lucius said abt "maybe his time with you is the best it's gonna get for him" like i think he tries to think abt it and just. cant. he cant fucking accept that. god im gonna throw up.

HNNNNG THE RUN FROM ME SONG COMING BACK IM GONNA LOSE MY SHIT

i cant get over how archie is like. yeah bro it's fine. it's cool just kill me im not gonna hold it against you.

jim's like "YOU WERE GONNA DO IT ANYWAY!!" and ed's like "teehee yeah :3 u got me"

oh bro some of the random background crew people just fully go overboard huh. damn. rip those guys.

ok so im choosing to believe that izzy fired a lucky shot there bc the man couldn't even shoot himself point blank in the skull but im supposed to believe that he got ed right in the arm from the other side of the deck in the middle of a crazy storm and the ship rocking like crazy and izzy's probably suffering from like, insane amounts of blood loss?? i dont buy it. i mean it doesnt matter at all but i think he was trying to hit ed's general torso area and if ed didnt have his arm held out izzy would've missed. like i said tho this makes no fucking difference. it's just a fun little headcanon hehe

love how ed laughs like an absolute maniac here. babygirl u are so unhinged.

wait it's fucking wild how in the middle of all this we to cut to auntie putting the map back together and then we see that zheng is bringing her fleet over land. anyway this is foreshadowing obviously but like considering the song choice and cutting this between ed's suicide attempt and then the crew mutinying. is a choice. and idk why they made that choice yet.

it is a pretty dramatic reveal tho. i didnt appreciate that the first time but holy shit. she's just pulling her ships all the way to the caribbean. girlboss.

and then the mutiny. the relief on ed's face hurts me so fucking much

other thoughs about this scene here

HOLY SHIT THIS POST CREDITS SCENE AHHHHHH

so first of all. auntie saying olu can be allowed to clean up random hairs around the desk and zheng being like "there's not that much hair" girl you know you're lying. her hair is so long and so gorgeous and you KNOW random strands end up making scary-ass hair spiders if somebody doesn't regularly sweep things up

second of all: olu pretending there's a carrier bird with a messege for zeng to give her a break is SO CUTE. OLU. OLU YOU ARE SUCH A SWEETHEART.

[johannestevans]

i was reading your post abt asab at the doctor and my brain tried to go into solution mode as it is wont to do, but i realized like. there is no solution. at least not one that isn't a complete overhaul of the medical system, including research fields.

i've been on t for a year as of tomorrow, and a few months in i noticed my adhd medication stopped working. it got so bad that when i would take it, i would have to fight to keep myself awake. i couldn't figure out what was going on and my doctor just said 'just keep taking it and maybe it'll level out.' several months later, i still felt like absolute shit when i took it to the point where i felt better when i didn't take it. i asked to up the dose but she said it would be 'too much of a shock to my system.' i eventually just stopped taking it because even though i barely function without it, i didn't function at all with it on that dose. i talked to a friend last week who is also on t and he said 'oh yeah your dose is too low. your metabolism can change on t, so it's likely you need to up your dose.' so like not only was this a situation where if i was a cis man my concerns likely would have been addressed immediately, but it was a failure of my doctor to actually understand how trans bodies on hrt work and what they need. so how exactly would having "afab" on my chart have helped??? bc there is no difference in initial dosage between male and female patients, the starting dose is usually 30mg across the board (my doc had me on 30mg initially then lowered my dose to 20mg after i lost access to it for a month??????), the thing that affected me wasn't my fucking vagina or ovaries, it was a change in my endocrine system!!!

and i feel like this heavy reliance on asab makes doctors lazy. they don't do regular blood tests, they don't test your metabolism, your hormone levels, they just assume based on the f or m what your levels should be, or they see that you're fat so they assume you have high bp, cholesterol, blood sugar, etc. (cannot tell you how many times i've had nurses take my bp numerous times bc they refused to believe it was average, and i still keep getting hounded abt my blood sugar and cholesterol despite the fact that every single test has come up normal.) like i don't think any doctor has ever even bothered giving me blood tests until i started t, they just assumed from the f on my chart and my body size. i remember getting put on metformin when i was young with no blood tests simply because i was fat, and i still have kidney issues because of it.

anyway sorry for ranting in your inbox, that was kind of all over the place, but your post just really struck a chord and reminded me how much i hate the medical system.

YEAH EXACTLY. I'm so sorry, it's just like... ARGH.

Like especially the weight problems and like... Doctors desperately want to go based off of people's ASAB and what their weight is and not what's normal for them! Same for racial assumptions, especially assumptions doctors will make about Black people and anyone who's dark-skinned and/or has natural hair.

Plus disability! Addiction! Mental health issues! They'll just make assumptions based off any other aspect of their identity - any excuse to dodge talking to the patient and treating them like they're a human being, or acting like as a doctor they're a human being rather than a god and commander.

Like, all these specific metrics rather than what the actual patient's experiences are, and what they're saying. A lot of medical professionals just think the world will end if they actually talk to and listen to one of their patients, and it's infuriating!

[trickstarbrave]

actually fuck it. my proposal for the skyrim main story quest rewrite  that i think keeps the bare bones the same but incorporates more lore and makes it more interesting. reputation also will be making a comeback in this along with skills and more dialogue options

this is also part 1 bc i wrote so much lol i’ll do the rest later

>keep the intro. it doesn’t rly bother me. it does its job its just very long and annoying. maybe change some details but i think it can work. difference to the set up though is ulfric rebelled because they banned worship of not just talos, but more importantly shor/shezzar/lorkhan who they said was never really a god, just made up by men to justify killing elves and is a violent religion built upon hate (which is how they argued the banning of it during peace talks, why should you have a peace treaty with an empire who worships gods that kill your kind?)

>you are still told to go to whiterun and meet with the jarl. while you can get inside the city fairly easily (after passing many panicked traders coming to sell or deliver goods into the city where you learn its a major trading hub bc they saw a dragon fly by or are bickering abt if it was a dragon or not) meeting with the jarl isnt so simple. you’re told you dont have an appointment, and wont be able to get one anytime soon given you’re a nobody (if for some reason you have done other stuff and gained a large reputation and have high speechcraft this can be bypassed) and there is a civil war going on. everyone saw the dragon near by. how can anyone be sure you aren’t proposing to send a march of troops to riverwood to instigate a battle in the civil war? his housecarl won’t let you have a meeting nor will he really talk with you if you try

>luckily for you, you’re pointed in the direction of the court mage looking for someone to do things for him if you feel the need to complain to anyone. farengar needs someone to do various tasks for him, and no one else has taken him up on the offer really given the distrust of mages in skyrim as of late. he tasks you with several things: gathering herbs, trying a new potion he developed, testing an enchanted item by killing an enemy with it. various wizard grunt tasks that also introduce various other magical skills that you can ask him to explain if you’re curious and he’ll explain them but point you in the direction of the college if you want to really learn as he cant take students right now

>last quest he gives you is to get the dragonstone someone was asking him about. he can’t pull away from his work at the moment to go get it, but he has faith you’ll probably survive. bleakfalls barrow can probably mostly stay the same, but things of note i’d include is having some details from bandit conversations that draugar aren’t normally this big of an issue. usually they can “just sneak past them” but for some reason some are walking around awake for no reason and are way more active. just as a little detail

>delivering the stone farengar can now get you the meeting with the jarl. he’s vouched for your reputation and thinks you’re trustworthy. along with some funny dialogue to not mess it up or he’ll be in hot water. NOW you can meet with the jarl, except your conversation about riverwood asking for protection is interrupted by word a dragon is attacking a whiterun tower

>kill the dragon, eat the soul, use fus, you know the drill. this one isnt that bad and i think it works. there, several nords question your soul eating and turning the dragon to bones more than the thuum, which is something nords known and can train on. irileth says thats all nord superstition and she doesn’t believe any of it, but she does question what exactly you did to the dragon or if its normal for dragons to die that way.

>you return to the jarl who thanks you, names you thane, and says he will send more guards to scout riverwood, but believes the dragon you killed is likely the one riverwood was so worried about. if you question him about “dragonborn” stuff he will explain its a nord legend, dragonborn emperors, etc, but that if anyone could answer if you’re a dragonborn or not it would be the greybeards. the greybeards don’t summon you outright at this stage, not unless you have done other stuff i’ll include in another section.

more under cut bc this is long

>go to the greybeards. greybeards say frankly they don’t know if you’re the  dragonborn or not. you claim to have eaten a dragon’s soul and absorbed the knowledge, but it’s hard for them to test that. however, your gift with the thuum without them teaching you is remarkable, so they send you on spiritual tasks before they train you. they are more old school nord pantheon religious as opposed to the more imperial worship thats becoming more common

>these tasks include: traveling to various sacred sights, a word wall, and going to kynesgrove to hold a ritual to commune with kyne. from there kyne will task you with finding a fox that you later find out is the avatar of shor, who confirms you are of dragon blood, but that you will need to seek counsel from ‘the dragon’ if you want to know more. after that he fades away, and you return to the greybeards who say that is peculiar, and may be referring to akatosh. they know they could ask paarthurnax, but are still hesitant about introducing you to him

>there is a possibility to meet another dragon before you return to the greybeards. after the tower and dragons start appearing across skyrim, a third faction of the civil war has opened up: the dragon cult. various villages have been taken over by dragons, where some dragons you can speak to are there. they will confirm you are dragonborn. they don’t see you as a threat, more like a pitiful, weak little creature. all of the dragons have different personalities, one i might make disgusted with you and calls you an abomination, another who thinks you are interesting and mentions they would like to have you as a priest/willing servant but they believe that would “anger alduin” and you would refuse anyways. if you speak to them the greybeards say that might have been what shor was referring to when he said “the dragon”

>they then begin your training, teaching you various shouts. after every shout they send you on a small quest after the little tutorial part to “internalize and meditate on the meanings”. rinse and repeat. fast travel is enabled still in my vision so you dont have to make this trek every time

>after this they task you with recovering the horn. it is there, in the tomb, along with the tomb containing lore on the way of the voice you can read like the tablets on the way to the monastery. they mention the great elder greybeard paarthurnax, friend of the founder, but not that he’s a dragon. some lore info. you bring the horn back and are named dragon of the north. from here, the greybeards say they dont know why a dragonborn has come, but that there are many prophecies of what dragonborns accomplish. ultimately though it means you get to forge your own destiny, and they hope you will get the way of the voice in your heart. probably discuss where a lot of dragonborns did a lot of damage, like with tiber septim conquering the continent in uhm, some pretty not nice ways.

>after you gain some reputation (or maybe just asking around and then waiting a few days) an innkeeper in riverwood says she’s heard you’re looking for dragonborn information and she’s a bit of a scholar so she thinks she can help you. going to her she says shes a bit of an archaeologist so she’s learned a few things, but asks for a favor first as nothing is for free. she’s been very busy running the inn and needs you to delivery some packages of information for people who have requested it from her. one is a member of a jarl’s court, another a college of winterhold member, and something for a skooma addict in hopes he stops causing problems for other people (hiding out in an abandoned college outpost in windhelm after the people drove them out, because there are now college outposts) these are all covert messages she’s been unable to send to various blades members/contacts who are still in hiding. i just thing 5 members is better than fucking 2

>then, she tells you a lot of lore about the dragonborn. then says if you think you are dragonborn she’d be interested in seeing you in action as she’s never met someone claiming to be dragonborn and your story is interesting. she accompanies you to the dragon burial at kynesgrove where you see alduin and actually get a dialogue option with him, however short. if you have done studying and research on dovahzuul, you can actually answer him in the dragon tongue which does mildly impress him but he is still going to say you are not worth his time. you are weak and an abomination, nothing like a true dov. and then he has sahlokniir kill you like in the original.

>after this delphine asks to head back to the inn to talk about all that. she then takes you into her room, closes the door, and reveals the secret door. down there she finally reveals she is a member of the blades and apologizes for deceiving you. she says the blades are being hunted down and persecuted following the war because they threaten the thalmor’s power. but the blades serve the dragonborn, so she wants you to lead them.

>next thing she needs though is she knows she cant stay here. she’s been talking to you, going and looking at things, and the thalmor are very suspicious with this dragonborn talk afraid the empire is trying to empower themselves against them and find a new imperial family. she says there is an akaviri temple that is hidden away they can stay in and get the blades together again to act as a base of operations, and that it will be safer than being scattered and hidden hoping no one catches on. the people you delivered to previously are given messages and promise to meet you there when they can slip away with varied dialogue. skooma addict reveals it was all a rouse and he goes pretty easily. this also allows the base to have stuff like a mage, a smith, etc.

>after this she says she thinks there may be more members alive, but also the thalmor might be onto them all. she tasks you with breaking into the embassy and getting the information. unlike the very scripted quest, getting in through the party is not the ONLY way to do this. you can break in through a variety of ways if you are clever, or you could have already done it when the quest starts. all you need to do is tell delphine if ur going to the party or not. ALSO regardless of how you do it, if you are stealthy enough no one will burst in at the last second to say they caught you and hold malborn hostage despite not realistically having a way to know that fast. if you kill everyone there though or slash your way through they will know though and your cover will be blown.

>there you find documents of various blades agents and contacts they killed. as well as find out they are currently hunting for esbern. you also gather the documents on ulfric and stuff. delphine is relieved she left as it seems like they did just start to catch on to her, and then tasks you with finding esbern if he’s alive because he’s lore keeper and will know about the ruins they are in as well as the dragonborn legends

>getting esbern is pretty similar. along with the thalmor coming after you. if you are in the thieves guild or have enough money you can bribe them into helping and use various traps in the rat ways to kill the thalmor

more to follow

[hirokiyuu]

canon/oc stuff + recent book 7 spoilers

was talking to kyomie abt what yjn might be like in leona's dream bc i think theyre too important to him to not be there and like........ i think ultimately they are a really terrible mix of a (brennan lee mulligan voice) Romance Partner and like. lowkey. servant LKAHSLDHGLAKSHG

bc like. the thing leona wants from yjn most is for them to Stay even if he tells htem he likes them, which in canon he is pretty sure. they will not do bc their brain is fucked as hell and he knows this LMAO so i think on the surface that would manifest as "a real romantic relationship" btwn them instead of the ambiguous thing they have

but like also an element of their rship is leona making demands that are actually for yjn's sake. like. he'll say "we're ordering in tonight, i dont wnana go to the cafeteria and deal w/that shit" bc he Knows yuujin is socially burnt out but wont say so themself. and to a lot of ppl it comes off as p callous/leonas in Charge even tho both leona+yjn can recognize it for what it is (but never put it into words)

but you take these two things w/the shallow manifestation of rships that comes up in malleus' dream worlds nad like........ dream yjn dating crown prince leona is just like. this happy little doll of a "boyfriend" that would do Anything for leona <3 would roll over and die if he told them to <3

and i think for leona like......... when he eventually starts waking up i think thatd probably be the easiest part of the dream to reject bc despite all their faults like........ those are all parts of the yuujin he loves. like. even when theyre being evasive and even when theyve got one foot out the door he still likes them. i even think to a certain extent those parts of them tie into things he Doe slike abt them bc those are the measures they take to protect themself, and thats smth he wants them to do more

and so in the end as much as he likes the Idea of a yjn that says they love him and puts him first i think in practice it ends up being smth he finds himself disgusted by eventually. its so divorced from who Yuujin is that the fakeness of it bothers him u get me??? u get me???????

[diodellet]

ooohh that ask game has some interesting questions hmm how abt 16, 18, and 23?

i am realizing just how much this ask game is making me bare my soul goshhh (/not srs), thanks for sending me an ask, bibi!

16. What makes you immediately close a fic that otherwise seemed good?

hm...well, most of the time i try to stick it out even if i'm not enjoying the fic from the first few sentences. like, maybe it's just me but a lot of the first words of a fic tends to be the (for lack of a better word) "the gunk" that precedes the actual story? like some stories just have slow starts, but they do get gud.

but to answer the q, i guess stuff that makes me roll my eyes at a fic, in the context of x readers would probably have to be:

disclaimer: most of the time, i don't mind reading these. but there are just moments where they bother me as i'm reading

reader getting carried bridal style (i dont like it, i hate it. id rather be carried like a sack of potatoes. or id rather be carried like a goat by its shepherd. but i do like seeing characters getting princess-carried) just carry me like this instead 🤧🤧👇

royalty AU++CEO/office/corporate-setting AU (like secret princess of a kingdom or being a secretary, for example) i'm not a big fan of those kinds of settings. like ok sure a chara can look good in business formal or in some fine furs, but once the eye candy wears off thats when i exit the fic oops.

fics centered around marriage: i don't really enjoy reading proposals. also thinking of how the rings, the dresses, and the flowers look is hard bcs of my (partial?) aphantasia, but weddings Are Pretty Fun as a background setting. overall, i think what bothers me most is that the chara loses a bit of their personality after they get wed together with the reader.

^^actually in relation to this... im not that big of a fan of prom/dance settings, they both read very similarly, especially since the reader tends to be placed in the more passive role of being asked out. (but when you make it angsty or hurt/comfort, ok i will read it i'm a simple girl)

Oh and ig this is just me wishing for more in the Imposter-SAGAU genre of fanfic (i mean i'm still looking around, i don't feel desperate enough to write smth of my own), but i kinda wish the charas weren't so doe-eyed and quick to apologize to the reader. like, i get the feeling of wanting to write The Good Bits Immediately (e.g. being fawned over, getting to lord that blunder over the characters) but the potential of slowburn trauma recovery and developing a relationship from straight-up antagonism is Right There.

18. What media do you want to get into because of artists/writers you like?

i think i'd want to try reading more poetry? like, if i rb a lot of web weaving, i gotta know sumn other than "deep" pop lyrics (u wont find me saying nice things about ms sw*ft). so far i'm thinking of starting with ocean vuong and richard siken (basic ik but i mean, their works are good)

dunmeshi! i've been putting it off for forever 🙈🙈 (<-girlie watched frieren and forgor abt dunmeshi bcs they got yorushika to do the 2nd OP) but senshi,,,, SENSHI THE MAN THAT U ARE,,,,

Oh! and i'm rlly curious about alien stage! my sibling's dipping into it and he told me it was basically america's got talent x the promised neverland. and he said the magic words "toxic yaoi" and "doomed yuri," i Gotta watch it atp. (also like, carole and tuesday rearranged my brain, im ready to put a sadder spin on it😤)

23. What would you make a 5 hour video essay on, if you had enough time and motivation?

as soon as i read this all my hyperfixations have: left the server HAHAHA

maybe in terms of recent ones, i could try analyzing madds buckley's my love is sick. i wrote about that album for a final paper in a basic music elective, but i was constrained to only 3 pages so i only talked about 2-3 songs. but i could pretend to be a music major and regale ppl with how the leitmotifs tie together and completely destroy me add a new layer of meaning to the songs on subsequent listens. Also like, these songs just Get It (not sure what "it" is exactly, but there's smth related to first love and love lost*)

(but atm im just yoinking songs from there to use for fic/chapter titles, i plan on using one for this ruggie timeloop angst fic im plotting out anyway)

(art appreciation ask questions, please bug me to rb some underrated art and fic)

[idealspawn]

so the guy im seeing came back from his trip. we met up yesterday. he told me we should stay friends. i guess its okay its just a bit weird. its funny bc i felt so bad about not liking him as much as he seems to like me. so i literally like. trained myself to get used to being real vulnerable w him. and meanwhile he, unknowingly to me, trained himself to get used to the idea of not having me present in his life the same way as i was up until now. its not too bad because it felt weirdly forced to me too at times but its like. i tend to push through that. i think of feelings like waves. i know theyre sometimes still there even when im disconnected to them. not that its like that for everyone but i dont think i believe in like soulmates for a while already. like i dont think youre supposed to feel crazy attraction right away and click right away and be comfortable w everything RIGHT away. that if sth feels wrong it might be that the situation is wrong not the persin as a whole. it just bothers be that he wasnt fully honest from the get-go. like that he said all was well when it wasnt. for me, being truly aware of eachother's raw perspectives is the thing that helps me move on, not trying to save me from hurt by withholding details bc my gut still tells me sth is off despite what he says directly, you know. he said he met up w his ex right before his trip and realized that neither me or his ex is what he wants. and that he shouldve started the convo w that but he was embarrassed. and that he feels like an idiot bc of that. he also kept repeating that he is really uncomfortable w talking abt emotions, that it will send him into a crisis. but if he wont talk abt them... i will go spiralling.. you know.. noone fucking wins. and he said he knows that so he did talk abt his emotions in a way after all after i fried him w questions to tell me abt things. i guess its maybe.. um.. good that he isnt my love interest anymore bc i really need someone who is okay with emotions, like really okay. i asked him to tell me wtf am i supposed to do now bc he has had all this time to think abt it but i havent. he is pretty self-aware. he said he knows it was a dick move to lead me on like that. but i guess i knew his approach to his past relationships so i cant blame him necessarily. its just that i used to be like him, thinking that a moment of disconnection ALWAYS meant that the feelings arent there anymore. which they sometimes arent but also a lot of the times its just a question of the perspective you look at relationships and feelings from. so i assumed he maybe too has changed bc i have changed and you know when i talk abt my past then i talk abt it.. as the past.. idk.. he also will move to brussels in not too long which is a weird ass turn of events. i guess its good he said it now as summer still lasts, i have time to adjust. its just that i literally planned him in my fucking plans already. nothing insane but i kind of assumed he would be in my life for a while more. though he still will be in my life because we will stay friends and stuff but i cant do it the same. like i cant give him as much time of my week. well i can but that wouldnt be us being friends.

[isabelguerra]

i’m making a new post 4 this bc i ended up thinking way harder than i thought i would which resulted in writing a small essay on fucking johnny jhonny. so i’m going to put this the tag and make everyone look at it. bc hes a cool character. heres the og post ok enjoy ily

@spoopyspoony i mean yea if we were dealing with ch1 johnny maybe. but we’re not, so i’m operating on 1 very important key factor here: we’ve ALREADY SEEN johnny not telling things to his friends!

this starts during hitball, the games’ ending is our as catalyst. we see that the words and actions of both hijack and max- hijacks bully/‘good violence’ monologue, max getting his arm broken to save a guy whos only been a jerk to him- begin sowing self doubt in johnny’s view of himself and his archetype role as School Bully. we even see this in action during the rope scene, ollie asks if somethings bothering him and johnny brushes it off in favor of deflecting. when ollie is mistakenly believed to say they wont use violence to get information out of ed, johnny jumps at it. we SEE ollie and rj give each other side eyes at his weird behavior. they dont pry, which is nice of them. but it also means he’s not talking to them, or anyone, about whats bothering him until we get to the ed scenes. there’s a lot going on in the ed scenes that i’m not gonna go into because it gives me a headache but my point is that johnny told a TOTAL STRANGER abt his teenage dodgeball-induced ego death crisis before he told rj, who is Right There.

‘yeah but johnnys fine by the end’ johnnys fine by the end bc he goes back to being cool w/ hurting ppl if it means his friends would still like him and everything stayed the same. u really think tht if it ended w him actually giving more entertainment to the idea ‘should i stop being a bully?’ instead of bouncing back immediately, if he was still made to question his friends’ love for him if he changed, he’d have the same happy outcome? miss me w that 

so ultimately it’s not that johnny doesn’t trust his friends enough to tell them this secret/problem, but that their good graces and friendship mean SO much to him that we see him start to not tell them things if he believes it would jeopardize that friendship.

‘ok but thats why johnny wouldn’t tell his friends about THAT. its still doesnt answer why he wouldn’t tell them about THIS’ good point! here’s what we know: johnny LOVES his friends. johnny would do anything for his friends. including putting himself in harms way and keeping things from them if he’s worried it’ll negatively impact the existence of their friendship. so i’ll counter: ‘johnny has no reason to tell his friends about this shit’? no dude johnny has EVERY reason not to tell his friends this shit! his friends ARE the reason! johnny’s so ride or die that he’ll die if it means his friends can still ride.

forge’s little soliloquy on ch5pg97 hints at a perspective of spectral existence that’s much more grim than the ‘cool superpowered kids fight ghosts’ premise we’re led into the comic with. soooooo if this new change in his life were to. say. put himself or his loved ones in danger. actual, non-teenage, ‘my-last-medium-met-her-end-as-a-result-of-this-world,-and-there-is-nothing-that-can-ensure-you-will-not-meet-the-same-fate’ danger. or! not even put them in danger! just simply lead him to believe that them just KNOWING that danger exists for him, and there’s next to nothing they can do about it? to have the friends he cares so much about constantly worried about him? if they knew, a whole lot would change. to johnny, i think that guilt would be pretty tough to deal with

well. they cant worry if they don’t know, yeah?

[marmett]

playing harry as a commie and looking at kim like, "i can radicalize him, i can fix my centrist boyfriend."

ok joke over. centrist characters actually usually do really, really bother me, but w/ kim it works. it makes sense. the references to his more rebellious past, the way he occasionally talks abt the communards wistfully, but he ultimately fell in line w/ moralism.

the way he sympathizes with harry over being burnt out, and how when he tells harry that the rcm works, their structures work, it seems more like hes telling himself that. and if harry says they likely wont make a difference in martinaise he agrees.

its like... kim is so worn out and broken down by the world that he cant do anything else but his best in a job that he thought he could make a difference in but cant. a job that hes dedicated decades of his life too, but only just got promoted to lieutenant after 15 years bc of the structural racism.

[onlyjaeyun]

OMG YES and can we talk about how much lighter(if thats the right word) he looks lately like at peace almost and i feel like hes such a positive ray of sunshine that uplifts everyone around him and the way he melts whenever jungwon acts cute or the way he looks at heeseung with so much adoration THE RELATIONSHIP HE HAS WITH JAY WHICH IS SO FUCKING ADORABLE AND SIBLINGS CODED constantly bothering sunoo bc he is cute, practically being a dumb and dumber duo with niki, soulmatism with sunghoon the way he tries to include all members in english interviews so no one gets outshined he really is enhas rock and then hes so smart intuitive and his emotional intelligence amazes me hes so fucking cute and adorable but then becomes a menace on stage which i wont get into details with bc respectfully i wont be able to breathe if i think abt it too much

this was about jake and the way i teared up reading this because he's just THAT boy like he makes me so happy seeing him like this and be so happy and enjoying the comeback sommuch like he works so hard and loves so good and i want to keep him safe and protected forever 🥺

[lvpnm-moved]

What bothers me so much is like. Yeah. Don’t make fun of his looks, example like specific features but like whyy does it always go so defensive when it’s the people effected by xyz’s action even dare to make a joke. Like a white person could and have probably made jokes about dream and they don’t get shit. A minority makes a joke and they get bombarded, it’s always always only caring about the people at the top and never ever people who have been hurt. And like sure, he’s changed probably a lot. But people were still hurt by his actions and he doesn’t need defending when he’s probably just fine with his friends. Like fuck offf. Idgaf about dream it’s not tmmy place really to decide how anyone feels about him. But repeated sympathy to him and others only given out when it’s people who have been hurt say something?? idk if this makes sense it’s just annoying and hypocritical. A minority who makes fun of dream is allowed to bc he’s fucking stupid and his actions will never go away from him and if he wants to actually change he has to suck it up and deal with it.

Anon idk how to tell u but shame him for his appearances wont actually help minorities.ur making criticism seem petty and fueled by unreasonable hate. like u have reasons to make fun of dream and hate him but its his actions not appearance. Ppl can't change how they naturally look ur just making fun of someone for something they have no control over, Literally just go after the vast numbers of bad shit he did that he DID have control over if you wanna take a proper blow at him

ur not actually talking abt the stuff he did or boosting their voices or helping us at all. like ur nor actually talking abt the numerous antiblavck stuff he did, ur ust being a dick and changing the conversation to "i should be allowed to call him uugly bc hes bad" instead of actually talking abt why and how hes bad and his actions

like ppl love to paint shit as ppl shit him for no reason hes a victim and are mean to him. and u go actually shit on him bc ???? he has a face????

focus on the stuff the actually matters that is the bigoted shit he did instead of of ignoring them and trying to change the focus of the conversation, just like his defenders do

[sxrahwashere]

vent

hey guys so just want to say a little smth, yes ofc from my profile im american and morrocan and for this idk if yall know, but i have been called a bomber at my hs and thats not nice, thats racist there just because i was wearing one of my head coverings, like who tf would say that to me, honestly, and then now im called a issis, if you dont know what it means, its kinda short to say, its a slave meaning which is a bad thing and i just want to have a good day being with friends of mine and people are just being mean to me honestly, i heard people having conversations behind and their calling me sped and dumb but honestly i dont give a fuck about people because they can say whatever they want and whatever they say, it dosent really matter to me anyways bc i can ignore  them but sometimes even tho i want to ignore the people around but they wont stop talking crap about me like let me be me bro, and one boy during my biology class, he said to me that i had waves just bc my little bit of my hair was showing like- that rlly bothers you? smh but other than that, i have friends at school to cheer me up so, that makes me happy, but sometimes im just happy and cheerful abt things but for me, i hide the pain so nobody knows so i think thats all i gotta say now

bye..

i will post more if i can, bc my mom wanted me to have a break from my phone bc since im on phone 24/7 but im using a different device for this s im not able to post gacha or anything other than rebloggin post’s

[alyimoss]

Your big sad kitten eyes have compelled me but I also suck at prompting stuff,,, Give me your random-est UTMV info, I am curious!!!

theres kind of a lot so im putting it under the cut

ok so i dont have much for canon info, except ig that dream is canonically demiromantic asexual? which i dont see talked abt much but is incredibly important to me

but headcanon info?? i got plenty of that shit. which. i conveniently cant think of much of rn but its!! fine!!

ok starting out is one that i wont elaborate too much specifically bc i wanted to make a full post abt it at some point but. i think underlust sans is in the star sanses. no question. why? because i like him and i like the stars and i like him in the stars. end of story. period. fine. theres more i could say but, again, full post at a later date.

next thing also has to do with the stars as well as the bad sanses and its. look. yeah, theres serious shit abt them. theyre supposed to be kinda serious as the protectors of aus and their conflicts can have devastating effects on their surroundings. and the bad sanses are literally a gaggle of murderers who are not okay by any metrics. theres serious stuff to be said and had with them, yes. however, i cannot take those motherfuckers seriously. any of them. and considering theyre different versions of sans undertale, mr crack shitty jokes with a mass murderer, i think thats a fine sentiment.

anyway they all hang out. they fight and they hate each other and they hurt each other gravely and need days to weeks to months to heal properly and they fucking hang out with each other. i think ink was the first to kinda. "reach out" in a way, because he sees absolutely nothing wrong in fraternizing with the enemy. he'd just pop in and bother them because he was bored and had nothing else to do. i think killer was more or less fine with this (most of the time, anyway) but the others werent exactly enthused. anyway they had to kinda grow used to him.

and then ink dragged dream with him and i think dream is also more or less ok with the idea of visiting the enemy because he wants to help them leave nm's side and lead better lives that dont have to revolve around uh. killing. and making everything worse not only for others but themselves as well. and the btt i think were more ok with dream than ink because of his positive aura — hes just nice to be around, and even if most of them dont think they deserve good things and good treatment, they cant help but be drawn to him. i gotta imagine beiong around him after living with nm is like being offered a heated blanket after days out in the cold. theyre drawn to the warmth almost instinctually, their bodies craving it so bad their minds dont have the time to deny them. anyway yeah dream hangs out with them.

blue and lust are understandably more hesitant, not only because they're more in tune with the concept of "hey those guys are our enemies should we really be getting that close to them", but also because, as mortals, they have a lot more to fear should someone not want them there. i think the bad sanses initiate this time bc theyre curious. and blue and lust agree tentatively.

yeah all that to say they hang. often. they'll fight and then like 20 minutes later theyre in ccino's or smthn talking abt their day. they mostly hang in different aus, but sometimes they choose nm's castle as their meeting spot just because. and every time theyre chased out and/or nearly killed by nm himself. and they never learn their lesson and just come back like a week later.

and bc im a sucker for the trope of "hero and villain's fights have become so routine to both of them that they just talk about the most mundane shit during them", they do that too. its like-

*dodges bone attack* "oh btw you left your jacket at our place last time"

*knocks opposing balster out of the air, charges a retaliation attack* "oh shit, i was wondering where that was"

"yeah nm kinda found it first tho…" *hisses in pain as he fails to dogde the attack* "i can return the shredded junk tho if you want?"

*teleports out of range only to be grabbed by blue magic and thrown and pinned against the wall* "yeah why not. ccino's?"

"ccino's"

and this PISSES NM THE FUCK OFF. and honestly i cannot blame him.

because imagine getting together a squad of guys with a main goal of killing your brother, and instead of seriously trying to do that and feeding him more negativity via their hatred of the other side, they just. fucking hang out with them?? they banter and he can feel that they feel happier and safer with them??? what the FUCK. id be pissed.

he definitely tries to put a stop to this via several methods, such as punishment and correction and just getting entirely new guys. but it just ends up all the same no matter what, and at some point he gives up. at least theyre still fighting. even if they do bring the enemy over to the castle to watch adam sandler movies every saturday.

and also speaking of giving up, the hanging out doesnt generally extend to nm EXCEPT when its ink. bc i think theyre funny silly together. ink just bothers him and has for like. forever. and nm can never get rid of him or prevent him from following him, plus he supposes ink is something like an ally sometimes?? he doesnt like him (totally), but he tolerates him. because theres nothing else he can do.

and also speaking of nm i think corrupted and passive are separate entities sharing the same body. corrupted is the one in control, and passive just exists off to the side, offering his opinions or whatever. he cant really do much (he can sometimes control the body, but its very brief before corrupted takes control back because hes stronger), but he refuses to leave. so he just bothers corrupted. bc i think corrupted is someone who does not want to see anything resembling good in homself — he is the embodiment of evil, and that means he cant care about anyone, he cant feel anything like love or longing or pity or compassion. he's just here to soak up the negativity and submerge the world in it as well. nothing else. someone who refuses to acknowledge the everpresense of balance and how it pervades his own self as well. and thats something that passive LOVES bringing up because nothing sets corrupted off quite as well. one day he'll maybe realize that he is more than his own perception of "the embodiment of evil" and maybe that will allow passive to have more control over the body he once called his. or maybe not. an ee way.

i cant think of anything else rn lol. i think thisll be enough for now tho

[i-may-be-an-emu]

[Disclaimer: I don't think Mark Rober is truly a bad guy and if y'all are like crazy superfans of him or something don't come at me ok] This is about his video about his son btw

Mark Rober: my son will never amount to anything bc of his autism but im so great and Progressive(tm) since I love him anyway even tho I'm his FATHER and thats my JOB

ok 1, that's horrible to say, also buddy you really need to educate yourself so you can talk about autism properly. Yes, autistic people face so many different struggles, I would know, and I know lots of autistic people have worse struggles than me. BUT you can't just say he absaloutly WONT be the first person on Mars. Maybe you could have some faith in your son or not put limits on him at least. Its great that Mark Rober is talking about autism and is proud of his son but come on, he should really at least talk to actually autistic people (yk, maybe feature them on the video about his son)and im not saying he didn't but he was using perosn-first language when talking about autism and it made me really upset and distraught.

2, Also buddy... do you really think you're neurotypical? Seriously?

I actually find Mark Rober's content interesting and fun to watch and I think he is a pretty cool guy, this one video from a long time ago has just been on my mind. I dont mean him any offence, I just. idk. It bothers me that he talked abt his son like that, even if I dont know him or his son and how their relationship works. I know its none of my briskness but yeah.

[daedalusdavinci]

im just gonna spitball fic ideas here bc i dont have any rn and i wanna see if this helps me brainstorm

i kinda feel like writing bruharv, but i also feel like i write literally so much bruharv all the time and im kind of sick of being That Guy? it feels like im incapable of doing anything else or something. but i also dont really have any concrete ideas besides vague feelings that are about as coherent as mashing two barbie dolls together and saying “now kiss”

on that note though, i could revisit bruharv as it stands in the jdau, but i dont think theres a lot to say right now. i think i covered it all in lost days. there probably wont be more to say about it until after jason tells them hes back, and then itll be getting into more of the [spoilers] betrayal stuff and harvey and 2f taking the confession completely differently from bruce and how that feeds into the divorce arc and how insufferable they are. btu i still havent really figured out how i want to write jason telling harvey and 2f in particular, and i kinda think i dont want to write it, and just want to skip forward until after? the dick and jason fic was almost impossible to write particularly bc of shit im going thru irl rn and ik that fic would be harder. maybe ill just do that and pick up with a fic of what their relationship is starting to shape into post rh. should proooobably finish reading damians comics first tho and maybe some of cass’s (i might not bother reading any n52 ones, given that almost everything so far has been 100% preboot characterizations)

on a DIFFERENT note but still bruharv related, i could indulge that little voice in the back of my head that wants me to dig my fingers into full on btas characterization with judge and hardac!bruce and the full mess. i dont know what id do with it though i just have a lot of feelings about both of them

setting aside all of that,

im still thinking about that detective eddie/brce au. i just picked up a bunch of detective books from the library yesterday so ill probably read those over the weekend and then maybe ill finally hammer out some kind of plot. but thats not gonna be until this weekend and in the meantime ??? i have a lot of thoughts about like the kinds of people they are and the kinds of characters and the bakcground characters in this au but no plot and augh. maybe i should bend someones ear and just rant characters for a while and see what happens

i also mentioned ages ago that i was thinking abt a pjo au where nico brings jason bck from the dead and leo is heavily involved and shit and i still think that that would be sick asf but id have to reread all of pjo to do it probably and rn my reading list consists of detective novels, then asoue, THEN maybe pjo, so god honestly knows when/if ill get around to it. its also like. when i came up w this idea i was in a place where the vibes w my writing was very much melancholy and bittersweet and heavy on the death and rn im uhhh not in that place as much anymore im struggling to figure out what direction i want to go in instead

maybe ill go back to my roots andjust start writing fluffy pjo fics again. REALLY return to the roots. just garbage nonsense fics. idk.

i wish i had the braincells to write something hs but i dont and i havent in ages and theres a million reasons for that but ill probably try and reread a few of my older fics soon and well see what comes out of that

anyway thats about where my head is at rn lolll i dont expect anyone to have read this but if you have thoughts i wouldnt mind hearing them it helps to feel like im not talking to air sometimes