#bc it literally takes 15 minutes to put them in

[deadpooly]

braces appointment tomorrow except i literally havent worn elastics like once this cycle

[albonium]

i'm always bewilered by the amount of things drivers share about their location especially lando it's worrying when everyone has access to google and maps

[sectumsempraaa]

Taking a flight with the Slytherin boys (headcanons)

i wrote these while delayed for several hours at the airport yesterday 🫶🏼 a lil something for y’all while i work on requests!

feat. Draco, Mattheo, Theo, Blaise, Lorenzo x reader

Draco:

- is extremely confused why he has to take off his shoes at security

- threatens the TSA agent during a pat down

- refuses to eat airport food

- pays his way into one of the airline lounges to get away from the public

- doesn’t “trust” the muggle pilot- asks if he can fly the plane instead

- “Draco this is a Boeing 747 not a Nimbus 2000”

- upgrades you both to first class and orders you expensive drinks

- aisle seat kinda guy

- booked a car service for y’all to be ready immediately upon landing

- asks his dad if they have a private jet bc he literally never wants to do that again

Mattheo:

- oh no

- where is he

- you’re not even there for 10 minutes before you lose him

- you find him signing up for Clear bc he hates waiting in lines

- sets the metal detector off bc he “didn’t know” that knives are prohibited on planes

- buys way too much stuff at the grab and go store bc he doesn’t want y’all to be hungry

- teasing you with his hands between your thighs before takeoff

- falls asleep on your shoulder for the entire flight

- big time nuzzling his face in your neck

Blaise:

- airport dad energy

- gets y’all to the airport 3 hours before takeoff

- has everyones documents photo copied in a physical folder

- if the whole group is there he is doing a headcount every 15 minutes

- puts airtags in everyones backpacks in case someone wanders off

- orders you a fancy meal on the plane. this man won’t let you settle for snacks

- makes sure you’re extremely comfortable (seat all the way back, borrowing his pillow, adjusting the air temp bc he knows you get cold)

- not a fan of heights!! plays with your hair to distract himself

Theo:

- showing up to the airport with minutes to spare

- checks all your bags bc he won’t let y’all carry that crap around

- knows your coffee order and is also a caffeinated king

- downloaded a carefully selected line up of his and your favorite films on his ipad

- buys you both painfully cheesey matching airport merch (ie: I ♡ NY shirts)

- if your flight gets delayed he is buying y’all mimosas at the airport bar

- buys the third seat so it’s just you guys in your row (so he can makeout with you whenever he wants)

Lorenzo:

- mans is dressing SO comfy

- hand on your lower back at all times

- staring at your ass all day, he lovesss when you wear those yoga pants

- gets yelled at for trying to go through the metal detector with you

- striking up conversation with strangers who have service dogs

- taking pictures of EVERYTHING

- mega turbulence anxiety but tries so hard to keep his composure for you

- definitely curated a soothing playlist for the flight

- “Y/N, you’re missing the safety demonstration”

- asks for a blanket and drapes it over both of you bc this man wants to cuddle until the wheels hit the ground

- 100% tries to sit on the actively moving baggage claim carousel

—

ALL of them refer to you as their “wife” for fun whenever talking to strangers or employees. “my wife would like a glass of champagne.” “a blanket for my wife and i, please.” “me and my wife are headed back home for the holidays.”

[sparklingcid3r]

I promised a rumble rundown, so that’s what I’m gonna do. Let’s go🙏 also here's the yt vid i used lol

0:14-0:17

Paul says, “Hello, Darrel. Long time, no see” and then immediately starts checking him out with that upside down smile, ik what u think abt 👁️👁️

0:24-0:27

“I’ll take you” yeah Paul I’m sure u will 🙄 Darry’s cold af w the staredown tho, it’s unfortunate that Pony and Soda have do a full head turn to look at each other like “IKKK he ain’t j said that”

0:27-0:31

DALLAS MY GLORIOUS KING ARRIVES,, shirtless??? And the crowd goes mild‼��� Pony also gets popped in the face and down he goes, it was so good that he was here for just a little bit, everyone say bye now bc the next time he shows up in the fight u won’t even know it’s him I’m deadass

0:48-0:55

Soda is ripping into this guy right, my baby’s a champion!! And then gets up and kinda… walks past Steve getting his ass beat lmao. He even puts his hand on Steve’s shoulder to steady himself as he goes by😭

He just misses the mean double gut punch Steve tanks like the unit he is, because Steve GRABS THIS MAN’S PUNCH and RIPS one across his face, it was beautiful. Masterclass in the ring I’m afraid

0:56-0:58

Okay. I need to give yall the play by play for this single two-second sequence because it was genuinely the greatest clip of cinema I’ve ever seen in my life.

Paul’s got Darry out of frame and he’s confident, dare I say cocky. He’s doing the universal hand signals for “Cmon, hit me bro.”

And I’m gonna say this next part softly. Lean in and listen to me:

When I tell u that Darry clocks Paul in the face, I don’t mean he just clocks Paul in the face. Darry rises like a phoenix from the ashes and swings so hard that everyone around him can feel the aftershocks. Paul has just experienced the equivalent of a steel boxing glove to the dome. Teeth are flying. Paul will have no recollection of this moment for the rest of his life. Take a look at this.

Alr now we back up because YOU CAN SEEEE THE MOMENT OF REALIZATION. This man starts BAILING. The minute Darry spins back, Paul’s got bug eyes, all “Hold up. Wait a minute. He really ‘bout to clock my shit.” He did not want that smoke NEARLY as much as he thought he did, and ykw? I don’t blame him 🤷‍♀️ 

Letting yall know that I had to go back and slow down the playback speed so that I could bask in the glory that is Darrel Curtis’s behemoth of a punch. Geologists are losing their minds wondering how volcanoes are erupting and mountains are shifting, unaware of what just happened in Tulsa, Oklahoma.

1:00-1:03

Dally bitch slapping a dude is a great way to kick off the one-minute mark, and a good kick to the ribs just for funsies ig. U go girl🫶

1:04-1:07

Hottest Two-Bit has ever looked sorry

1:19-1:21

Alr Dally is literally picking people up and WWE rocking their shit as he slams them to the ground. That kid was dropped neck first. How did Pony not have to write a sequel.

1:22-1:24

Just an entire sequence dedicated to Soda mewing even as he gets bitched in the face. It’s alr tho, he got his get back

1:47-1:49

Istg I’m not tripping, u listen and u can hear Pony screaming for Darry yall I thought this was supposed to be a good time, I’m actually sobbing

1:55-2:01

STEVE CLUTCHES UP??? DEADASSSS that was the CLEANEST three-shot KO I’ve ever seen, then he body flips the guy behind him??? I WASN’T FAMILIAR W UR GAME, RANDLE 🙏

2:09-2:15

The Socs are kind of getting ready to retreat at this point but rq we gotta check in on the exes, Paul’s getting clowned on again lmfao.

This man tried to kick Darry, then when Darry’s got his foot and is getting ready to spin him like that pigskin, he’s PULLING on Darry’s HAIR??? Man, just leave 😭 ur cooked. And the last time we see him, he’s CRAWLING AWAY😭😭 at least STAND UP

2:24-2:27

Pony’s getting washed in a 6v1 it ain’t his fault this time, bless up. Luckily my goat Darrel Shaynne Curtis Jr. pulls up and literally starts throwing bodies. Absolutely spectacular that I get to live in the same lifetime as this movie.

2:30-2:32

Darry’s asking, “Ponyboy, you okay?” and some NOBODY tries to grab Darry’s shoulders. Who do u think u are???

3:35-3:45

Greasers get the W👏

So in conclusion I think we can all agree that if u are locked in an iso with Darry, just offer up ur cheek and get it over w. Ur not getting the dub. Roll down ur sleeves and go home, ur benched.

Sorry this is messy af, I'm just having fun rn LMFAO

[eternalxvenus]

୨⎯ Like a good neighbor, Gojo is there ⎯୧

summary: You've just moved into a fixer-upper in a quaint neighborhood, excited to start building and designing your dream home. Everything's perfect…or would be, if it weren't for that gorgeous but obnoxious Satoru Gojo next door, who you fight with practically every day.

cw: smut 18+, satoru gojo x f!reader, smut, a little fluff, a smidgen of plot if you squint, gojo is annoying, no curses au, gojo is stupidly rich, pet names (baby, sweetheart), oral f!receiving, p in v, light choking, squirting

word count: 1.5k

notes: this is my first time writing smut so pls bear with me… the tile is bc that logo has been stuck in my head all damn day </3, im also debating on making a part 2… and lastly HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!

You woke up to the sound of birds and wind, the sun shining brightly through your uncovered windows. As you stretched your limbs out with a groan trying to fully wake up, you thought about all the things you had to do today.

The clock shown 9:15am. Getting out of bed, the house was warm thanks to the summer morning. After doing your morning routine and eating breakfast you decide that you’re next project for the house will be painting the outside porch railing. You already had the paint, opting for a soft brown color.

Outside the air was warm and almost humid. The half empty coffee cup rested on the small table you had out there. Your clothes were already stained and rugged from previous projects done on the house. You picked up a paintbrush and promptly started on the porch.

About an hour or so later you were still painting, a light sheen in your forehead as you hummed a song stuck in your head. This was the peace you were looking for.

“Heyyy Y/N, how’s your morning going?” You roll your eyes, recognizing the all to chipper voice. Your neighbor Satoru Gojo. He was the most non-peaceful thing about the entire neighborhood. You tried to ignore him, but of course he was already making his way over. “I said good morning, what’s wrong too tired to speak?” he inquired.

A loud huff leaves your mouth. “No Gojo. I just don’t want to speak. To you at least.”

“Ah don’t be like that. I know what’s got you in a sour mood. It’s that ugly paint color isn’t it? Looks like shit— literally.”

“Gojo please do not come over here starting nonsense. It’s a pretty neutral brown. Now go away and leave me be.” You pick up the paint can and move to the next part of the porch. Gojo watches you lazily as you move about. He’s uncharacteristically silent and you almost forget that he’s even there. Glancing up to give him a look that says ‘What?’

With a no good smile on his face he says “Have lunch with me Y/N. Take a break and i’ll make us something good.”

You thought about declining but you were really hungry. As if on command your stomach growled rather loudly. “What’s the catch? You berate all my artistic choices thus far?” you deadpan.

With a hand over his chest in mock offense Gojo replies saying, “I would never!” He starts walking over to his house beckoning you to follow. “C’mon i’ll make us some sandwich wraps.”

You follow Gojo into his house and i soon as you step inside you see the stark contrast the inside has compared to the outside. Everything looks modern and sleek.

Gojo clears his throat before speaking. “Have a seat wherever. I’ll get started on the wraps.” You give a brief nod, walking into his living room to get a closer look at the decor. Fifteen minutes later, Gojo walks in empty handed.

“I put the wraps in the fridge. I usually let them sit in there about 10-15 minutes before eating so they have a better crunch and don’t get as soggy.” He plopped down on the couch stretching out his arms and legs. His eyes kept moving down to your ass as you walked around. “Come sit and let’s talk.”

You sit down next to him, making sure to leave a good amount of space between you both, before he scoots you closer by the hips.

“You know, I’ve never had such a pretty neighbor before…” Gojo’s voice is smooth and filled with seduction. Your heartbeat picks up as he places a hand on your thigh squeezing lightly.

“Gojo… what are you doing?” You ask in a breathy voice. His touch had an effect on you and you hated it. The last thing he needed was an ego boost.

“Oh come on Y/N, why do you think i’m always coming to bother you? I needed an excuse to see your pretty face.” He lowered his head to place light kisses along your jaw and neck. You moved your head to the side to give him better access. It couldn’t hurt to have a little fun…

Gojo moves from your neck and looks into your eyes. You see the dark lustful look in them before he pulls you in for a heated and bruising kiss. It’s all tongue and teeth, both of you barely stopping to get any air. You can feel the heat and arousal rushing through your body as he pulls you into his lap. Lifting his hips up slightly you can feel that he’s already hard and definitely not small. You break the kiss to pull off your shirt and Gojo nearly rips off your bra before taking one of your hard nipples into his mouth while working the other between his fingers. “Ah… Gojo-”

“Satoru” he says breathing heavily and looking into your eyes. “Please call me Satoru.”

“Satoru… don’t tease.” you nearly whine.

“Fuck… i need to taste you.” Without missing a beat Gojo lays you down on the couch, making quick work of getting your jeans and panties off. “You’re so wet, this all for me?” his lips formed that cocky smirk. “Shut up and do something.” you say squirming. He grabs your hips to still you then lowers his head to taste your arousal. “You taste better than I could’ve imagined… so fucking sweet.” He goes straight into it, sucking your clit into his mouth and teasing your hole with his tongue like he’s starved. Your hands immediately find purchase in his hair. You tug slightly making Gojo moan which only adds to the knot that’s already forming in your stomach.

You try to lift your hips but he has you in an iron grip. Heavy pants and moans slip past your lips as you feel that familiar sensation or your orgasm. “Ah! Sa-satoru! Fuck i’m gonna cum!” he continues working his tongue on your clit as he inserts two of his long fingers inside of you, curling them to hit that spot that has you seeing stars. Gojo eagerly licks and sucks all that you’re offering as you slowly start to come down from your high. He kisses your thighs and slowly makes his way up to your face. “I could eat you out all day” he breathes out. “But right now I wanna be inside you.”

You watch as he takes off his pants, seeing the wet patch on his boxers from his precum. After removing the rest of his clothing he now rests in between your legs, stroking himself as he rubs his tip against your clit. You buck your hips trying to get more friction but Gojo won’t budge. “Tell me what you want.” he whispers aligning himself with your entrance. “Satoru just fuck me please!” You say impatiently. The only warning you have is Gojo saying “If you say so.” before sliding his cock in until he bottomed out.

He threw his head back with a groan. “Shiiiit baby you’re so fucking tight.” He gave you a moment to adjust then started fucking you at an almost inhuman pace. All you could do was moan not able to form anything coherent. You felt Gojo’s hand come to your neck and squeeze just enough to heighten the force of his thrust. “You take me so well… this slutty pussy just keeps sucking me in.” His free hand slipped down to rub harsh circles on your clit causing you to practically scream. “Satoru! Too much!”

“You can take it baby i’m almost there. I want you to cum for me.”

Gojo keeps up his unrelenting pace and overstimulates your clit. You can feel him throbbing inside of you as his thrusts start to stagger and get sloppy signaling he was close. “Fuck baby I’m gonna cum… gonna cum all over those pretty tits.”

“Please Satoru! Feels so good… fucking cumming ah!” You feel a gush of warm liquid between your legs just as Gojo pulls out whimpering while spilling his cum all over your stomach. “F-fucking shit! Fuck baby…” you both lay there panting as Gojo gives you small feathery kisses. After a minute or two he gets up to grab a towel to clean you up with. He’s back in his boxers and had one of his shirts for you to wear. You blush taking it with a small “Thank you.”

Once you’ve sat up and slipped on the shirt you notice the wet spot staining the couch. “Shit… sorry about your couch Satoru. I’ll give you the money to replace it.”

Gojo laughs at your concern for his couch. “Don’t worry about it sweetheart.” He moves you both over to a the other side of the couch that isn’t ruined. “No really i’ll replace it, how much was it?” He mumbles something that you don’t understand. “What?”

“$3,600.”

You stare at him in shock. “Satoru what the hell!” He dismisses your shock with a wave of his hand and lays you both down. “I told you don’t worry about it. Right now just lay here with me.” Just as you both got comfortable and closed your eyes, your stomach growls loudly.

“I guess now would be a good time to get those sandwiches.” Gojo laughs.

likes, comments, and reblogs are greatly appreciated!

[justlillythinking]

Can you do nsfw alphabet for aged up Lo'ak? Please :)

lo’ak nsfw alphabet

warnings- nsfw,(tw:zesty pose)

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

sweet but a little embarrassed 😭 will probably start blushing while the two of you make jokes, but once you go to bed he’s cuddling you and being super affectionate. once you guys have been doing it for a while though he would get more cocky after, smirking at you and stuff but still being super sweet.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

waist, ass and boobs. he’s a simple man

favorite parts of his body are his hands, arms and basically whole upper body.

C = Cum

he definitely likes to cum on your ass or face.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

stole like 2 pairs of your loincloths and jerked off with them and then put them back. when he saw you wearing them he started blushing and left bc he got hard. (he’s so baby girl)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

i’m going to say that i think he is one of those guys that’s very shy at first, insecure because of everyone, including his parents, always thinking he’s less perfect or worse than neteyam. he definitely was super nervous your first time, kept beating himself up over messing up but when you told him it didn’t matter because you loved him, and he just needed to relax, he started building up courage and got VERY good quickly.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

reverse cowgirl, missionary and sitting in his lap.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

sometimes, will definitely make a joke or two then when you start laughing he starts going super hard and then laughs at you being all surprised

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

shaved/ trimmed all over, sometimes will shave bare.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

romantic when you first mate, have anniversaries or do anything special, but usually he’s more sexual than romantic (hes stuff super loving though)

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

1000% jacks off all the time but if you can do it for him he would obviously prefer that.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

wants to get walked in on and show basically that he’s better than his brother😭 also deep throating this man wants to literally fuck ur face

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

in the ocean/ a river or his family’s tent/pod

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

the noises you make, or more so the noises you don’t make. it drives him WILD when he’s fucking you so good you go quiet and slap your hands over your mouth so that nobody hears you

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

a threesome. he wants you all to himself and has done enough sharing the spotlight when he was growing up.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

i already said it this man LOVES getting head. he wants it 24/7 and the sight of you on your knees for him makes his heart (and dick) throb. also likes giving oral but would rather finger you (he loves fingering you)

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

it honestly depends, i think both but usually he’s fast and then he will slow down and do deep slow strokes.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

yes. loves all sex. he wants quickies when there’s barley enough time for them but will also go for like 2 hours, overstimulating you and then dragging it on for forever.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

yes like i swear he literally wants to get caught, it turns him on so much

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

three rounds, definitely lasts like 15+ min at first, but after the 2nd round he is cumming in like 6 minutes or less

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

yes he definitely owns like a vibrator for you, handcuffs, a little bdsm bandage stuff but not much.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

LITERALLY SUCH A TEASE

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

he definitely grunts and groans and it a so hot don’t even

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

when you two are hanging out with spider, neteyam, anoung, roxto, kiri and tsieyra (i know i just butchered those names i’m too lazy), he recommends a game of spin the bottle that his dad told him about that he used to play when he was still human. the bottle lands on you and anoung and lo’ak l makes eye contact with him before moving the bottle to where it’s you and him. 🤭

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

11 inches, long and not super thick but not thin. veiny and dark at the top

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

very high like he wants quickies and sex and he jerks off all the time.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

like not even 10 minutes he’s so baby girl 🤭

[hellfirecvnt]

A Few Ways to Improve Your Writing (on Tumblr) from Somebody Who Has No Business Writing

*Specifically for writing fanfiction, though some of the tips are universal.

- Indenting. I usually only indent on mobile bc for some reason, it just throws them the fuck away on my laptop. To indent, I usually just do five "spaces." It just looks nicer (imo) and can help with readability.

Example:

This is a paragraph. In this specific paragraph, I'm showing you what an indention is. It's those five empty spaces at the beginning.

- Dialogue changes. When a character speaks, that's a new paragraph. When a different character speaks next, that's a new paragraph no matter how short the speech is. It's always a great storytelling device. You don't even have to label who is speaking every time if you properly use context clues in the rest of your story!

Example:

"I am speaking," said the man. He is a guy and he's totally speaking.

"Fuck you, Todd."

"Whoa." Todd was not expecting that.

- POV. It's easier said than done, but try to keep your story in the same point of view the whole time, or at least clarify when the POV is changing.

Example: Wrong

You smile at Dee. She's your best friend and has been since elementary school. You ask Dee to borrow a pencil and she happily obliges, passing her the pencil. She says thanks to Dee and the two best friends continue writing. (Confusing, especially for someone who isn't a native English speaker.)

Example: Right

You smile at Dee. She's your best friend and has been since elementary school. You ask Dee to borrow a pencil and she happily obliges, passing you the pencil. You say thanks to Dee and the two best friends continue writing. (Coherent and Cambria, baby.)

Additionally, to show an intentional change in POV, just announce it!

Example:

Dee's POV-

This bitch will not stop asking me for pencils.

Your POV-

Oh, fuck. I forgot my pencil again...

- Complete words. This may be a personal thing, but around the time that Stranger Things 4 came out, I noticed a TON of people just not using the first few letters of the first word of their sentences?? It's another one of those things that's unintentionally inaccessible for people who don't speak English as a first language.

Example: Wrong

"'m not tired yet," she said.

Example: Right

"I'm not tired yet," she said.

- If it's a reader insert, please do not describe Y/N. Pls don't mention hair texture, but a vague style is usually fine. Pls don't mention body size unless it's specified. Don't mention skin tone. Pleaseeee, don't take away from someone else's ability to see themselves in your work that's specifically meant for the reader to see themselves in. Lots of communities don't ever get to see themselves in media, don't take fanfiction from them too.

- Use bold/italics. Both of these things can breathe a whole new life into what emotion you're trying to convey.

Example: No bold/italics

"I told you not to go there. Now we're both screwed."

Example: with bold/italics

"I told you not to go there. Now we're both screwed."

- Reread periodically. When writing a story for a few days, take a moment to go back and reread everything you've put down so far. You'd be surprised by how many little details and storytelling devices you'd forgotten about between writing sessions.

- Hit "Save Draft" literally every 15 minutes or any time you set your phone down if you write on mobile. Speaks for itself.

- AI will fuck you over. Don't be a fuckin' loser.

- Your ideas are NOT bad. Don't water down your vision in hopes that more people will read it. There really is something for everybody. You're doing yourself and your audience a disservice by changing your storyline to be more "mellow" or "relatable." It can be big, it can be dramatic, it can be weird, it can be angst or fluff or smut or literally anything bc YOU made it! No matter what, there will be people who love it with all their flesh and bones and people who scroll past after the first few sentences. It's all about chemistry or something idfk.

(Drop more tips in the comments/tags/reblogs for the new writers of Tumblr ((and me)) to learn and grow!)

[thesuperiorrobin]

Your Instagram FT: Damian

Liked by: Dami_Wayne, Timmy_Drake, jay_Hay,Dicck_GrAy, 1000+

Y/N_L/N: i love it when he talks historical art to me 😍🥵😳

View 398 comments

Jay_Hay: I thought you guys canceled???

└ Y/N: we lied 😇

└ Dami_Wayne: yeah I did not want any of you guys to ruin this date like you three idiots did the last time

└ Dicck_GrAys: we didn’t do anything???

 └ Y/N: you started and argument with an old lady after she called you out for stalking us. Jay somehow got detained by the police and Tim ended up vomiting all over the manager bc he was ‘overwhelmed’ but we all know he was sick that day 🙂🙂

Liked by: Dami_Wayne, Timmy_Drake, jay_Hay,Dicck_GrAy, 1000+

Y/N _ L/N: i swear I saw mine and Damians wedding flash before my eyes 💀

View 298 comments

Timmy_ Drake: isn’t it “I saw my life flash before my eyes?

└ Dami_Wayne: Don’t ever correct her ever again Drake

Dicck_GrAy: was i the maid of honor?🥹

└ Y/N: fortunately no 😊

Jay_Hay: the funnel cake Almost went back up on that ride.

Liked by: Dami_Wayne, Timmy_Drake, jay_Hay,Dicck_GrAy, 1000+

Y/N _ L/N : they told us not to jump. But we did anyway 😋

View 198 comments

Dami_Wayne: Them we had to save Drake bc he was drowning.

└ Timmy_Drake: I had a stomach cramp ☹️

└ Jay_Hay: we told you not to drink three cups of coffee and a bowl of pasta

└ Timmy_Drake: I was hungry :|

Liked by: Dami_Wayne, Timmy_Drake, jay_Hay,Dicck_GrAy, 1000+

Y/n _ L/N: Damian told me if I won he would by me pandora bracelet with 6 charms. I’m literally putting my blood sweet and tears into this stupid game bro😭.

View 397 comments

Y/N: update lost. I somehow ended up with 26 cards left ☹️

Dami_Wayne: you really do suck my love. Even though you told me countless of time.

└ Y/N: I tired and lost ☹️

└ Dami_Wayne: I know

Jay_Hay: DAUMMMM U SUCK.

└ Dami_Wayne: Todd shut up you went bankrupt playing monopoly with her.

└ Y/N: that’s right. I suddenly don’t feel sad anymore 😁

Liked by: Dami_Wayne, Timmy_Drake, jay_Hay,Dicck_GrAy, 1000+

Y/n _ L/N: Alfred was gone for the day so we decided to cook pizza!

View 497 comments

Dami_Wayne: it didn’t turn out very good.

Y/N: we ordered take out instead. He somehow burnt it🙂

└ Dami_Wayne : you mean you beloved. You Burnt it by convincing me to leave it for another 15 minutes

└ y/n: who’s fault was it to listen to me.

└ Dami_Wayne: Touché

└ Jay_Hay: Ohhhh relationship drama. Fight! Fight! Fight!

[ask-sister-solaris]

sjsndbd you can keep sending me asks i literally do not mind them i love your ideas sm. you're actually helping with muse it's insane.

But since you insist, i had an idea in mind, and then i forgot, and then i saw your reblog and remembered again so !!

could i possibly get another egon x reader (i literally love egon i am not sorry about this) where the reader is a little bit religiously traumatized and they have a call there, but they physically cannot step into the church bc 1) their family went to this church, and 2) everything is coming back after almost forgetting about everything so egon has to comfort them.

Sorry if that's a little dark but that's me being angsty 💀

*rubs hands together* I also have religious trauma so les goooo

“I promise you’re okay Dove”

Egon Spengler x Reader

Warnings: angst, religious trauma, implied 🍇

Panic set in even before you’d gotten into the Ecto 1. The call you’d received was from a church, the Catholic Church to be precise. The one your parents attended when you were young. Egon knew you didn’t like churches somewhat but he thought it was just because you were a scientist and you didn’t believe the stupid bible stories.

You took your meds and got into the Ecto 1 all kitted up and ready. As Ray pulled up to the church your stomach did flips and suddenly you were back to your 7 year old self.

You were only young, seven years old nearly 8. Your parents were taking you to Easter service at the church near your apartment. You were dressed up in a pretty blue dress with a little bow at the back and your hair curled. You never understood why exactly this was so important but you enjoyed the free chocolate.

Of course you’d never worn a dress of this style to church. It came to your knees and was very poofy and femme. The dresses you usually wore were ankle length, and a peachy colour. You didn’t argue though because good girls never argued. As you approached the church the pastor was welcoming everyone, and though you nor your parents saw, he was eyeing you up.

You sat beside your parents and swung your little legs as the ceremony began. You were old enough to volunteer with the little show they put on and let kids get involved with. Of course you begged your parents and it didn’t take much for them to allow you to. The service itself went smoothly, afterward while children were allowed to play outside on the clear patch of grass and adults were sat around picnic tables talking, the pastor called you over into the church. He told you that you looked very pretty in your dress and that he knew God intended you to find a man soon.

This confused you because you were only 7 and boys were so blehhhhh. But you just nodded and smiled and turned to leave. The pastor asked you if you could show him your stockings because they looked so pretty and you foolishly agreed. You thought nothing of it and never mentioned it to your parents. And that’s how it continued every Easter service up until you were 15 and finishing up school.

He tried to get you to strip, going as far as to drag you into the confessional booth and rip your dress. Without going into to much depth he had his way with you and only after you were able to escape and run out screaming and crying. Your dress was in shreds, you were a mess makeup running down your cheeks, and all your parents said was, “you shouldn’t have been tempting him with how short your dress was”

You hadn’t moved from your seat in the Ecto one for a good five minutes, tears were streaming down your cheeks your breathing heavy. Egon told the others to go ahead and he would catch up. They agreed and he waited for you to calm down and come back to the real world. They had things in the car for if Egon ever had a panic attack. He grabbed a sugary drink and something sour for you and that helped you come back to the present.

He held your hand gently and you looked at him. His heart broke seeing how upset you looked. “It’s okay now my dove, I promise you it’s okay Dove”

When the ghost was contained and you were safely in Egons baggy clothes in his bed swaddled up with your favorite drink and snacks Egon put his favorite music on and worked on some paperwork at the desk inside the bedroom. Not even Venkman had cracked a joke about the church, and that was rare.

[hereticdrws]

Aquarium date w mizu

A/n: did I just narrate my visit at the aquarium and add mizu? Possibly did I use quotes from me and my sister? Also maybe anygays I hope yall enjoy ☺️🤞 should I write a real fic w this? I alr got 1 in the works cough cough baseball mizu

Warnings: NOT PROOF READ idk I don't think there r any but lemme know if there r

Loser!Mizu x (masc?) Reader I tried to make it v neutral but I kinda self projected

Enjoy 😉

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

◇Def spends wayyyy to long on parking trying to find the perfect spot no matter how many times she's been

◇Tells you the scientific names of all the fish on the banners on the way in that are used to attract visitors

◇Tells you every fish related joke she knows while waiting in line to get in

◇Cannot stand up straight in the line to save her life she has to lean (but I mean who tf doesn't why tf would I stand up str8 when I can lean)

◇Tries to convince u to let her bring a fish home (you're not even allowed to)

◇Took 1000 pics of the baby penguins

◇(Also asked to take one home)

◇Does not shut up abt the smell

◇Says every cute thing in the exhibit looks like you

Ex:

After walking past the toucan exhibit we make our way toward the baby monkeys per mizus request, walking hand in hand and shoulder to well head because lord knows mizu is tall as shit.

Once we arrive at the monkey exhibit for the first time since arriving mizu releases her hand from yours

"Omg babe it looks just like you!" She eagerly points out

"It does??" You raise an eyebrow at the 5'7 woman towering you, questioning her ecstatic expression

"Yeah!!"

◇Tried to provoke the toucan

"OMG Y/N ITS THE BIRD FROM THE MEME" spends at least 15 minutes trying to find the meme

◇Made you carry her hoodie bc it was so humid

"Babe I told you not to bring it 🙄"

"I thought it'd be cold ☹️"

"Why are there only birds I hate birds"

"Because we're in the bird exhibit babe 😐"

"oh"

◇Pouts when she can't find the animal in the exhibit

"Babe did you know poison dart frogs are poisonous?"

Dies

"Babe stop ☹️"

◇Stuck her hand in the water 'bcuz she can'

"I bet I could survive that jump"

"No tf you wouldnt?"

◇You had to pay for the slushies bc she forgot her wallet (which she definitely owns) ((she doesn't own a wallet))

"BABE THERES FUCKING CROCODILES"

"Dude there's a kid right nxt 2 u"

"Babe wtf"

"What"

"Your mouth looks like a traffic cone"

☹️

◇Constantly asked what would happen if she threw smthing at an animal

Ex:

"What I'd I threw my slushie at the crocodile"

"I'll disown you"

◇Looks in disgust at all the babies and children

◇I cannot express how much she'd compare you to ever cute animal in the exhibit

◇Leans into u when she gets bored like srsly u are supporting this woman's entire body weight

◇Do not forget how CLINGY she is (totally not self projecting) she would not let go of your hand, not to mention she is constantly pressed to your side esp when walking she is js leaning into you (same 😔) she cannot walk in a straight line for the life of her

◇Mizu is either the most shameful person you've ever met or the most shameless

No inbetween

◇The facts omg So. Many. Facts it's acc insane

"Did you know the 'type of animal' is acc a direct descendant of-"

◇Has a donkey Kong lanyard u drag her around by so she doesn't wander off

"Omg that's literally us in another universe"

(Pic credits go to yours truly 😌)

"Omg yn that's a stone fish the one from the meme 😁🫵"

"What meme?"

😨 (she only scrolls on YouTube shorts or insta reels) ((idk why she's shocked))

◇Constantly pointing out how ugly a fish is

"If it were human it could NEVER pull you"

"???"

◇Spent at least an hour in the shark exhibit telling you the scientific names of all the diff species of them and where they originated from

◇Millions of pics of them everytime a shark swam by at least 25 pics would be taken

◇Everytime you tell her to pise for a pic with one of the exhibits she either puts up a thumbs up with the dumbest smile you've ever seen or accidently flips you off then rushes over to you drowning your face in kisses and apologizing over n over

◇Sitting/leaning every chance she gets (and pulling u down w her every chance she gets) ((she is so clingy I can't express it enough))

"When do we get to go to the gift shop?" ◇She asked every 2 seconds if she's not telling you the most outrageous 'facts' she learned from who tf knows where

"That bird is big as shit 😐"

◇Tries to stand like a flamingo falls not even 2 seconds later claiming you pushed her

◇Literally RAN for the shark plushies once yall got to the gift shop

◇Could not decide which one to get so u js bought her all of them bc ur so sweet/you couldn't decide which one to get so she bought you all of them (whichever u want)

◇Got lost in the parking lot trying to find yalls car

◇Yall stopped at chic fil a on your way home

◇Once yall got home you both changed into comfy clothes and layed down and cuddled ofc yall cuddled with mizus ridiculous amount of new shark plushies

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

A/n pt2: thank you for reading I hope yall like this ☺️

[lunarriviera]

another thrilling spirealm update

henlo my friends yes it's that time once again where i tell you what is happening on the bizarrely named drama "the spirealm," i am at episode 25 having shotgunned it all weekend and i have thoughts, opinions, and a gabillion screencaps of ruan nanzhu looking stricken, i finally had to stop taking them because he has the exact same face of devastated yearning in all of them and i was filling up my cloud drive. spoilers ahoy! [parts one and two are here if you even care]

as just mentioned, ruan nanzhu spends his time looking either 1) icily indifferent (when people who aren't qiushi are talking to him and/or dying in front of him, to his vast annoyance) or 2) torn asunder by pangs of desire (whenever he's staring at qiushi, who's babbling obliviously about science or clues or absolutely nothing of any importance whatsoever). here is a representative screencap but he has this look on his face pretty much continually, like he's just been hit by a car. a car of love.

it makes me put my head in my hands and scream quietly, i haven't seen a BL actor who understood the assignment this well since zhang xincheng or maybe even z1l. (who all clearly not only read the novel but underlined it, highlighted it, and stuck in colored post-it notes.) when not busy with adoration, he swans around being magnificent in a frockcoat like he's edward rochester, while lin qiushi trails behind him wearing a fit he got out of the goodwill box in his college dorm.

in spite of being besties with a literal fashion icon, at no point does it ever seem to occur to lingling "hm maybe i should dress a bit more formally for my imminent demise inside the doors"—no, instead he proudly wears his ratty sweatshirt with holes in it. which i sort of think might belong to huang junjie. idk maybe qiushi trusts it, and feels safe in it, hey look at that i made it sad.

massive power couple energy. also notice how their outfits are exact black-and-white negatives of each other, the harper's bazaar wedding photoshoot would have been so goddamn lit.

taking a brief moment for a shoutout to this guy. chen fei i don't even know what your fate will be but i already know you deserved better. not only do you patch everyone up with your veterinary knowledge, but i have seen your unrequited love. it did not go unobserved. you would have been a great partner, you're unimpressed by everything and drink your soy milk with chilling apathy. i'm real sorry the theatre gay didn't love you back. you're too similar i guess.

back to lin qiushi who has the worst case of main character energy since harry freaking potter. somehow the game is about him??? he has trauma??? none of this was in the novel and i'm just pretending it's not happening until it becomes impossible to ignore. in the meantime he continues to sympathize with door ghosts because he's just that nice of a guy. (EXCEPTION: nanzhu literally murdered two competitors bc they threatened his darling, and lin qiushi helped him cover it up. i was appalled for like 5 minutes then i shrugged. it's a cutthroat game, the doors change people. also it's like captain mal used to say: if someone tries to kill you, you kill 'em right back.) i have big Theories about what is fixing to happen but for now i will end by relating that lin qiushi has gone into a door alone, because he wants to butch up and be a better partner for ruan nanzhu. and that would be a great idea and super helpful except that nanzhu IMMEDIATELY WENT OUT OF HIS MIND WITH BLIND TERROR. outwardly of course he gives no signs of this (other than hiring someone to protect his fragile boyfriend, which, if lingling figures this out, ruan nanzhu will be sleeping on the sofa forever).

here he is pushing food around his plate miserably at lingling's funeral pre-solo-door party. everyone is having such a fun time.

and here he is standing in front of the door waiting like a dumb wounded animal. i have a feeling if lin qiushi doesn't emerge at 15 minutes on the dot, nanzhu will simply expire on the spot, like a wolf separated from its mate. maybe that's the end of the spirealm JUST KIDDING, we still haven't gotten to the part where they're on either side of a different door wailing at each other. i really need lin qiushi to stop being such a cheery equanimous little frat boy and START SUFFERING, can we get some mutual pining up in this bitch. (also i need his hair to change in the traditional BL post-wedding hairstyle alteration because i can't remember at this point if huang junjie even HAS a forehead under that vast curtain of bangs)

to sum up, we've had a) sexy handfeeding of lychees b) tender cat fur removal from face and c) stalking your pretty boyfriend aggressively against the wall so you can…offer him a packet of disinfectant. in the novel of course nanzhu bites him and yes xia zhiguang absolutely knows that's what he's supposed to be doing here, we love to see it.

oh and also d) "i'll protect you. i'll protect you forever."

SOON: THE THRILLING CONCLUSION. IT'LL BE SO FUCKING SAD. PS unrelated to any of this but the OST SLAPS and i sing along every time now, that opening song is an unskippable cut scene of a banger

PS gonna be sad when [redacted] dies, he's a real card. and that other person dies too. and that third person. shit it's about to get messy

[sleepdeprivedsprout]

@parker-vaporwave-alt @drxgonspine @vexter-the-comedian @schnozzlebozzle @helluvaboss98 @aroacerick

Soft Aria is done!! (…shittily, bc I’m too lazy to edit highlights rn. This is also somewhat simplified)

“I can promise you my love, it’s gonna be okay…”

(calls literally almost everyone “my love” in a platonic way)

random facts

~ She’s the youngest of all the different versions; she’s 15

~ anxiety anxiety anxiety anxiETY ANXIETY ANX

~ half demon half angel thing. She got the more angelic side.

~ unlike canon Aria, her hair is dyed. Normal Aria’s is naturally purple on the ends. Soft Aria’s was dyed by her older brother, Kalem.

~ Aria’s blindfold is due to a punishment. Her parents were… Not the best, to put it simply, so she went blind because of a gun wound. It’s still unknown how she’s alive.

~ Half deaf without the blindfold; 90% deaf with it since it covers her ears

~ If she wasn’t blind, her eyes would actually be a light pink sorta colour instead of red

~ Ironically, she’s afraid of heights. It takes her about 30 minutes on average to gather the courage to jump down to earth from Heaven

~ GUARDIAN ANGEL!!!! she’s technically Soft Pico’s guardian angel but she INSISTS on protecting Benjamin as well (this is genuinely the only pico x bf thing I ship I love soft bf x soft pico fodnfksmd)

~ her wings are soft. Very, very soft. Blankets. She has repeatedly used them to calm down Benjamin if Pico’s not around to help during one of his breakdowns

~ she’s working out the human legal system so she can figure out how to sue Benjamin’s parents for abuse

~ if you can’t tell already, she VERY MUCH SO pities Benjamin he needs hugs and she is there when Pico isn’t

~ …anyway. I’ll shut up now

wait no I won’t

[nicistrying]

Sat 6th Jan

Got up nice and early this morning and had the most beautiful winter morning walk with my girl watching the sun come up as we went along! And a bonus rainbow 🌈

We saw Maggie's friend Boo (an older collie, I think he's like 9 but they love playing together, he barks for her from the other end of the field when he sees us 🥹) We also saw so many deer! They weren't too fazed by us so we got to stand and watch them from a distance before they toodled away

Then had my dress fitting which was sooo lovely and relaxed. When I went to my sister in law's fitting with her, she had gone to this fancy boutique where they made a big fuss over her and it was lovely and felt really special, but I would have hated that myself. So I went to a local seamstress instead, she had this tiny top floor studio in the middle of town that I would never have known even existed and she just said hello, told me to go get my dress on and she put her pins in then told me to take it off again. We chatted away all the time but it was such a relief to not be fussed around. She didn't ask anything about the wedding, about Matt, nothing lol literally just put her pins in, I asked if she would sew me some cups in bc ya girl needs some kind of cleavage on her wedding day and she just laughed and said that would be no problem. I am sooo happy with her tbh. I was only there for 15 minutes! Got the bus halfway home and walked the rest as I had to stop off at the pharmacy, it was nice to be out in the sunshine again. Got home and did a load of housework, took all the Christmas decorations down and put them away in the loft, and put up a couple of pictures I've been meaning to get round to. Had a snack then went upstairs to work out and got a really solid upper body session done! It felt great

Made veggie curry for dinner, now relazing in the bath. Going to read my book in bed and hopefully have a good night's sleep bc I have another busy day lined up tomorrow 😴

[multiplicity-positivity]

hi uh i could use some advice :<

im a host of a recent system of 20-ish and guh i am t i r e d

im mainly looking for advice on how to switch or just retreat into the headspace/leave front or even just kinda stop being fully aware while still being in front for awhile bc id rlly like to take a break and the realization that im most likely front attracted/frontstuck is kinda making me more tired of being in front

also if it helps at all my(&) system is parogenic + traumagenic in origin (specifically parotraumagenic) and theres kinda iffy communication between members (some of them i have clear communication with and they randomly pop up to say stuff, some i have no idea where they are and some of them i can usually only hear when im directly interacting with them).

afaik (as far as i know) only three?? ppl have rlly "fronted" per se, and the rest have been co-con

i apologize for the long and mildly depressing ask but any help is appreciated also dont forget to hydrate

Hello! We have some posts that might help you that we’d like to share if that’s okay. The first is a post we wrote a while back with some tips on switching from our own experience:

We’d also like to share this post by @rin-and-jade on being frontstuck or frontlocked, and how to go about unsticking yourself!

Our own system host (Parker) is almost always fronting to some extent. It can certainly be exhausting and disheartening fronting nonstop, especially when other members of your system can seemingly come and go as they please. He’s going to put some info under a cut for how he copes with fronting constantly, in case you want some advice on coping with being genuinely unable to switch out!

We hope something here will be helpful for you! We’re wishing you the best of luck with switching out or at least learning how best to cope with fronting in your future!

(Host here - I’ll just write this bit if thats okay. Anyway here’s some stuff I do to deal with The Horrors of perpetual existence)

Meditation

Taking a few moments to sit in comfortable silence can be useful for me when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed or straight up exhausted. Here’s how I meditate (I’m no expert and I’m sure there’s better ways to do this… this is just what I do)

- get in a comfortable position in a quiet place where I’m not likely to be disturbed

- set a timer on my phone for 5 minutes

- close my eyes, focus on my breathing

- don’t dwell on any thoughts but also don’t push them away; acknowledge them and let them go

- try to stay still and calm until my timer goes off

And that’s it. Sometimes I get interrupted by an alter or something outside, but for the most part, this is how I’ve been able to meditate effectively.

Rest

I take naps whenever I can. I sit down whenever I can. I’ll literally just close my eyes for a few minutes whenever I can. Our body has issues with chronic fatigue, and fronting constantly can sometimes exacerbate our exhaustion. So yeah I am a huge fan of naps and will often set a timer for like 15-20 minutes and snooze whenever the opportunity arises. Even just lying down with closed eyes can help replenish some energy.

Distractions

Reading, watching something on TV, or playing video games can help give me somewhat of a break even if I’m still fronting. I do tend to try and keep us distracted as much as possible… sometimes to our own detriment. But if you find that you really aren’t ever able to switch out, or if your system is specutien and that’s just the way your system functions, finding things you enjoy that can serve as distractions may help you as well.

Saying No

This one’s tough, but I’m trying to learn to say no when I’m overwhelmed or have too much on my plate. This means sometimes I’ll cancel plans, hand off a responsibility, make a compromise, or turn down an opportunity if I don’t have the energy for it.

Honestly idk how much my addition can help you, but if you find that you’re not ever able to switch out at all please know there’s other folks out there in similar positions. Hoping you can make the most of your situation, anon /genuine

[sga-owns-my-soul]

regarding the shipping (that you ship everything) (i'm a few days late, i know, sorry), do you have thoughts on Radek/Rodney? i'm mostly a monoshipper (even though i want to be a multishipper), so since i ship McShep i'm sorta just lowkey "maybe i'll possibly read a fic or two for them" with other ships including either of them, but even still, i fucking adore Radek/Rodney and i'm a bit annoyed with myself for not properly shipping them, so, thoughts? cute? boring? fun? =D

(John/Todd too. but i like Radek/Rodney better (because i adore Radek) (like pls David Nykl is so cute) (have you seen Arrow? Anatoly pls https://littlegirlinvisible.tumblr.com/post/159026461523 (warning for flashing gifs)) (also i love Anatoly's beard) (but to get back to Todd i have a huge weakness for Christopher Heyerdahl and if it hadn't been for him idk that i'd have liked John/Todd as much as i do. John having to look up at Todd *whines pathetically*))

be well and have fun! (sorry about the rambly mess and all the parentheses)

ps. have you seen Hannibal? my dash had something SGA-related and directly below that a fucked up Hannibal fanart and my brain was like "tumblr user sga owns my soul would appreciate that" and it made me curious. fucked up show, fucked up ship(s), absolutely amazing.

i did not forget about you i've just been rotating this in my brain while putting out the 15 fucking (metaphorical) fires in my life that all popped up at once lmao

SO i have. a Lot of thoughts about rodney and radek as a pairing and you're getting them ALL so buckle up bc this will probably be long

first of all, rodney and radek have SUCH an interesting dynamic and i love the way they go from bitter rivals to reading each others minds with the flick of a switch and it gives SUCH old married couple vibes but they also have such, like, idk almost brotherly vibes??? like they regularly insult and belittle and attack each other but they also are the only one each other trusts (in the science departments) and the only one they let themselves rely on in a crisis. just that kind of "i can say whatever i want but you if you so much as imply something negative i'll break your teeth" vibes ya know????

anyways i think if they were in a relationship of any sort it absolutely would be hate fucking, like they get SO MAD at each other and they're screaming and throwing things in the labs and everyone takes The Cue To Leave bc they know that exactly 8 minutes after the violence starts, the sex starts and no one is paid enough to be traumatized by that lmao but it works every time bc they both emerge from the lab two hours later with messy hair and clothes but also with a brilliant idea that'll fix their 6 current problems and probably another 3 that haven't come up yet omg they would literally be The Power Couple but if you mention dating or any sort of Official Relationship they will both shoot you

also john/todd makes me fucking insane and i'm going to forever scream about how they're LITERALLY DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER JFC THEY ARE THE BRIDGE BETWEEN HUMANS AND WRAITH AND I FULLY FUCKING BELIEVE THEY WOULD RULE THE GALAXY IF THEY GOT TOGETHER I LOVE JOHN/TODD SO MUCH FUCK anyways i'm normal about that ship

ps i have not seen hannibal but the fact that you saw something from another fandom and thought i would like it is the SWEETEST THING EVER and now i feel like i need to watch the show

[catboxghost]

ok actually. lemme give u a good weeknight stir fry recipe that comes together in literally 30 minutes.

buy some cheap flank steak, its usually less than $10 per half pound and thats really all u need. slice the flank steak real thin across the grain of the muscle fibers. this does matter, it will make the meat more tender. you also wanna put it all in a bowl and put just a little bit of baking soda, maybe a teaspoon per half pound. allegedly this causes a reaction with the meat that gives it that velvety chinese takeout quality. if youre cool you also add some garlic powder, black pepper, soy sauce and sesame oil and let it all marinate for at least 15 minutes.

while the meat is marinating take this time to prep your vegetables and aromatics (garlic + ginger+ shallot), you want everything ready to go because stir frys happen fast. i like to cut a carrot into little quarter-inch cubes, along with a red pepper, serrano pepper, and broccoli. this is entirely dealers choice of vegetables.

next mix together about a tablespoon of oyster sauce, 2 tbsp of soy sauce, a tbsp of cooking mirin (everyone recommends shaoxing wine but this is hard to find ime) and 1/2 tbsp of rice wine vinegar along with about 2 teaspoons of corn starch in a bit of water. i also like to add cayenne or red pepper flakes bc i like it hot but whatever u like. this is your stir fry sauce.

if you are blessed with a gas stove you can use a wok, but otherwise any large pan works. you just want to make sure you can get it ripping hot (be careful with nonstick pans bc the teflon can vaporize and that is Not Good For You). blitz the beef with oil for about 5 minutes until its not pink anymore and set aside. add aromatics, cook until fragrant (literally like 30 seconds be careful) then add all ur veggies along with some sesame oil to get em a lil brown. cook for 5 more minutes until at least the broccoli is tender, then add the beef back in.

once everyone is being friendly, add ur stir fry sauce specifically ON THE EDGE of the pan so it can evaporate a little bit before getting mixed in. you can also make a lil opening in ur ingredience in the middle of the pan and pour it in there. this is where u stir and also fry, for about 2 more minutes. you remembered to make rice, right? if not then just chop some scallions real small and scatter them over the whole deal.

proceed to eat directly out of the pan while watching a bad tv show. if u play it right this should cost less than $20. remember its always moral to put all ur produce in the same bag and ring it up as shallots at the self-checkout 💛