#bc it is slightly fix it cause shes alive and some other stuff but its still angsty and shits and people are still dead

[pzyii]

i am AWARE the avengers compound was very very destroyed in endgame but dont mind me for really liking the concept of Nat coming back after being dead to find the living area the exact same.

Her seeing that desk she probably ate every meal at and fell asleep at for 5 years because she could never stop again.

Forgive me for having my mind already stuck on the idea of the remaining Avengers who arent really much of a team anymore at this point leaving it basically untouched as a special tribute for her sacrifice (both her death and her work)

[bluecoffeemugs]

Hey guys... so i just re-wrote the very first chapter to my fic. 

I did it bc of many factors, but mainly it was bc I didn’t like it anymore and I noticed how much my writing had improved. It just didn’t seem fair that the ending was much better written than the beginning, bc i feel like no one would get past the first chapters bc of my writing. I mean yeah, it has much more attention that i could hope for, but i’m pretty self-critical about my work, so i just had to re-write it.  

Anyway, I’ll just post the chapter here because I want you to give it another chance, maybe it spikes your interest now. I’m putting a whole lot of effort in the ending, it’s got just a couple of chapters left, so it will be a finished fic soon. 

Here it is: 

(bill cipher x dipper pines. pirate au. pirate!bill. siren!dipper.)

- - - - - - - - - - 

The gigantic ship swayed calmly over the ocean. The night was clear, the fresh salty scent of the sea lingered on the deck of the Golden Giant. The only sound besides the water below the ship, crashing small waves on the wooden walls of the ship, was the croaking sound of the captain's footsteps on the wood.

The crew had already released the plank, readying the ship for what they had been planning to do for months. And so, they stood, expectant and eager for what was to come, waiting for orders on deck.

The blond captain walked out of his cabin with a grin on his face. See, their crew had been waiting to catch this creature for months, but he had been waiting years. Oh, captain Bill Cipher knows about sirens. He knows how those beasts slaughter his kind. But he is not afraid of them, not a single ounce! The pirate also know how difficult it can be to catch one, he has heard countless stories and legends, none of them have succeeded. However, there has never been a legendary pirate that has tried to capture a siren.

Indeed. Bill Cipher is a legend. He has been living in the sea for as long as he can remember, and it has slowly become his life as a whole. Since he was a little boy, he was not only charming and ambitious but also highly curious. The supernatural and mystic myths spiked his interest from a very early age, so his drive for adventure and the unknown has never ceased.

Bill Cipher had always been so invested on mysteries, that he became a mystery himself.

The captain seeks creatures — all around the seven seas, and of any kind or species — studies them, and then sells them. The highest bidding of gold takes the price! Cipher doesn't need the creature anymore, what else could he do with them? Set them free? Now that would be insane. Setting them free means letting them go for free. If they won't pay, Cipher won't deliver. Besides, it's none of the blond's concern what the bidders do with the creatures after they buy them. Will they study them as he does? Will they slaughter them? Will they cook them, even if they're still alive, just to know what they taste like and brag about eating a mythic creature? Meh, Cipher doesn't care. He never has.

The blond went down the stairs and on to the deck to meet his crew. Such familiar faces that have grown into a family. See, Bill Cipher didn't always have his own ship and crew. Of course, he did acquire his ship — through a most epic fight he will never forget — when he was eleven years old, but still, not belonging to a family for his entire childhood until he was almost a teenager was not easy.

Belonging. Ha! Bill Cipher knows he doesn't belong. He actually takes pride in it! Because you know what? He figured that belonging to made you somebody else's possession, so he swore to himself he would be the only one who ever got to own himself and/or others.

Nonetheless, his current crew is better than what he could ask for. They are invested in the supernatural almost as much as he is, all of them have unique abilities that benefit him either on battle, on investigation, navigation, or plans, and most importantly, they are loyal. That's the quality Cipher values the most.

The captain was finally greeted by his crew. They were standing in line, looking at their pirate in anticipation, eager. All of them were loaded with their weapons of choice, let it be guns, knives, swords, or even knuckles.

The crew cheered at their captain, smiling widely at him. As the moonlight and oil lanterns were the only light that lit their faces, the shadows looked menacing and eerie.

The blonde returned the sly grin and humorously vowed to his crew's cheers. He was wearing a tail-coat made of leathery-fabric, a white button-down shirt that wasn't all that white anymore, black pants, and a slightly loose golden and weaponized belt around the hips. He was carrying his favorite gun and sword, plus other minor weapons that he hid not only around his belt but also around his whole body. And of course, he wore leather boots that reached almost up to his knees and his fancy black pirate hat, which had a single golden feather and some jewels adorning it.

"Tonight's the night, fellas," he spoke, his crew finally shutting up. "As we speak, fierce beasts are swimming below us, ready to devour another pack of men. Creatures that have forever lured uncountable men to their deaths by using their celestial voices and bodies."

His crew nodded. They knew all of this already, but something about hearing it right was those beasts live made it a whole lot more difficult to bear. Now they weren't only listening to a story, they were about to experience one. And maybe, they wouldn't even get to live to tell it.

"We will be the first known pirates to ever defeat them; conquer them!" The captain continued to speak. The crew's nerves turning into excitement, "Tonight, we catch a siren!"

Everyone cheered and punched their fists in the air. Noise returning to its natural state.

“Kitty,” Cipher continued, nodding to the toughest-looking man on the crew, “you will be in charge of the ship while I go on the rowboat.”

The man nodded in return, so the captain kept speaking, “Bigfoot, Cain, Red, Onyx, and Tiny, you will be staying here too.”

The biggest man in the crew, a man with a scar across his face, a red-haired young adult male, a woman with almost charcoal-black skin, and a small boy nodded in response. 

“Guard my baby while I'm out," Cipher joked and winked. They all knew how much he loved his ship. “And that leaves Hellhound, Dawn, Dagger, and Cheat with me."

A muscular young man, a tough but very beautiful looking woman, another woman highly equipped with at least half a dozen daggers and swords, and a teenage boy agreed.

“Get settled, then.”

And with that, they all retreated to stuff their ears with cloth or wax to muffle de sound of the sirens' voices. They had been preparing for this, they knew exactly what to do. They also knew perfectly well to stand their ground, no matter how tempting a siren could look. And most importantly, they knew that their goal was to catch a siren, not kill one. If for some reason they started to get aggressive, which they figured would be bound to happen, they would result in violence.

A few minutes later, the rowboat with Cipher's chosen crew was lowered down to the ocean. They paddled slightly further away from the ship, and then stopped when they started to notice the shadows under them. They were currently surrounded by huge boulders, covered in algae and coral, where they also spotted movement. A wave of adrenaline washed over everyone's veins, making the captain smile even more widely.

Cipher's team had their ears shut by different types of material, except for the captain himself. He was wearing an enchanted necklace of black pearls, which made him completely immune to the sirens' singing.

Soon enough, a ginger-haired siren came out of the water, and the pirates were immediately amazed by her beauty. However, none of them moved, as they waited for their captain's orders.

The siren swam closer to the boat, her eyes fixed on Cheat, the youngest one on the boat. The ginger held a powerful gaze, making the boy shiver, which was either because of her captivating beauty or because he realized he had been chosen as her meal.

The captain shot Cheat a confident look, making the teenager feel just a tiny bit better.

When the siren was practically touching the ship, another one came up to them. This one had curly, black hair and was staring straight at Dagger. Then a few seconds later, another creature appeared, she had darker skin and powerful blue eyes, swimming closer to Hellhound. The captain felt slightly overwhelmed by the sudden arrivals, but he never lost his calm.

Suddenly they realized that the ginger siren had gotten so close to the boat, she could easily snatch Cheat and drown him. Then, she saw the spears and fishnets, freezing on the spot.

"They're hunters!" She yelled, making all of the other sirens gasp and submerge back underwater. Cipher thought they were going to attack, but apparently, this pack of sirens had had other experiences with pirates and did not wish to repeat them.

Sure enough, however, the ginger siren was not going to leave her favorite meal alive, so she launched, grabbing Cheat with her sharp nails, and pulling him underwater with her. Hellhound threw himself forward and grabbed onto Cheat's legs.

The siren's strength was immense, causing Hellhound to begin to sink. Dawn and Dagger grabbed his torso and began to pull him to the boat. At this point, Cheat was completely submerged. In the meantime, Cipher loaded a crossbow and aimed to the spot where the siren was holding Cheat.

"No!" Dawn exclaimed although she could barely hear her own words because of the wax in her ears, "You might shoot Cheat!"

"Don't worry, sweetie" Cipher said calmly, fully aware that Dawn knew him enough to be able to read his lips perfectly, then shot the arrow. The movement below the water stopped. Hellhound pulled Cheat back to the surface. The boy was unconscious. Dawn began trying to remove the water from the teen's lungs.

Cheat suddenly coughed a great amount of water and took in shaky breaths, shivering. Dawn just looked at the captain and slowly shook her head.

"I never miss," Cipher said, obvious pride in his voice, Dawn could see it by the look of his face. She turned away.

The blond nodded at the coughing boy, and the teen managed a smile. Then the captain took off his coat and handed it to him, as the boy obviously needed it more than him at the moment. Cheat muttered a thank you. 

Cipher sat down with a sigh and looked around. He signaled his crew to hide the weapons and the fishnets, he should've known better. He might have blown their chance for the night, maybe their only chance! How could he have not foreseen that?

Time passed, and as he feared, no one else showed up. The pirates waited in silence. Cheat was almost completely dry now.

The captain fixed his eyes on the boulder closest to them, lost in thought, when he spotted another pair of eyes staring back. Immediately after those eyes noticed the pirate was looking at them, they hid behind the huge rock. Cipher stood up with a jolt, making the others around him jump in surprise. Then, nodded towards the rock and signaled his crew to remain silent.

"Hello?" Cipher said loudly, with the kindest voice he could manage, "We don't want to hurt you."

After waiting a few minutes for a sign of life, and not seeing the eyes again, he sat back down and sighed. He looked at the boat's wooden floor, sighing in defeat. Maybe he had imagined it.

Then, his crew gasped.

Cipher looked up and saw the siren far away, right beside the boulder. The light from their boat did not reach that far, so he could only see a dark figure the clear brown eyes looking back at him.

The captain stood up again, this time more slowly. He smiled gently at the creature, and spoke, just loud enough for the siren to hear, "We're just curious about your species, we don't mean any harm."

"I saw you shoot one of us," the siren said, still in the dark. His voice cracked but tried to remain steady. This only intrigued Cipher even more, because he had found himself a male siren. 

The crew looked at each other with wide eyes, they didn't understand what the captain and the siren were saying, but they sure as hell knew they were having a conversation.

Cipher remained calm, answering to the siren, "She was trying to drown one of us."

"You're hunters," the siren said gravely, much more as a statement than a question.

"We're pirates," the blond responded, as if it were pretty obvious, "we have weapons to defend ourselves, it's in our nature. Just as much as it is in your nature to lure us to death. Fair game, don't you think?"

The siren thought in silence, analyzing the words. But Cipher was not about to wait anymore, so he offered, "If you don't harm us, we don't harm you. Deal?"

Something about the way the pirate spoke made the siren want to trust him. Even if he knew the stories of pirates, how reckless and dangerous they were"¦ curiosity had always won him over. And something in his gut made him think that this pirate was not lying.

The words lingered. Cipher was afraid the siren might be smarter than him and swim away for good. But he was proven wrong when the siren slowly came into view, swimming closer to the boat.

When the siren was just a few feet away from the rowboat, the lantern's light finally glowed on his skin. Instantly, the pirates were captivated by his beauty. They had never seen a merman, much less a male siren. 

"You can come closer," the captain said, leaning closer to the water, "See? I have nothing on my hands," he said as he lifted his hands up innocently.

The siren moved closer, feeling just slightly safer and a whole lot more curious. He was intrigued by the sailors, he had never seen so many up close, and they were all staring back at him. The feeling was overwhelming.

Cipher smiled at the siren, then turned to Hellhound and winked, which roughly meant wait for my signal.

The siren's light blue tail was almost touching the rowboat's wood from below. He looked about Cheat's age.

The blond placed both of his hands behind his back. The siren and he just stared at each other in awe, each of them amazed by the other. Cipher noticed there were splashes of tiny blue scales on his shoulders, he had chocolate brown hair, and the most entrancing deep brown eyes the captain had ever seen. His gaze was purely innocent and curious.

"You're magnificent," the captain whispered to the siren, completely lost in the siren's eyes, almost forgetting what he was there for. Almost. Behind his back, he closed his hand into a fist. And so, the crew launched the fishnet at the siren and fastened it as fat and swiftly as possible, apprehending the siren.

The brunet screamed an unholy scream, Cipher was suddenly jealous of his crewmates with wax on their ears. The siren tried to escape the nets, almost knocking the boat over, but the crew acted faster. They lifted him, and with a loud thump, the siren was on the boat.

The captain had a large grin on his face and got closer to the siren. The siren had never felt so much fright in his entire life. He felt as if his heart had run up to his throat and was about to be regurgitated. He was about to scream louder, and try to knock the boat over once again, but with one swift move, one of the men that was holding him down injected a syringe into his skin. The last thing he saw was the grin on the blond pirate that had just betrayed him, until all faded to black.

[kyloscomet]

Hunting A Savior - three [remember.]

Warnings: swearing, blood, intimidation, seduction

Words: 5.5k

🌹 follow the story on Wattpad! 🌹 gif cred 🌹 Negan’s Trash

Tags:  @negans-network  @neganismyobsession @i-am-negan-trash @collette04 @iamstephanothecat @skylouise12 @fear-my-botany-powers @irhell @youll-all-get-yours @purplemuse89 @teamnegansaviors @ashzombie13 @devilgirlsarah @lets-jade-world @you-answer-to-me @genevievedarcygranger @arbrexo @adistantdreamer18  @julson1209  @princesa-spaghetti  @theremightbeblood  @onegirlwithalotofmind  @fleurhp @sweetsweetpeach @holyjeffreydeanmorgan 

A/N: hey ya’ll, sorry it took a while for this chapter to come out! I had a lot on my hands (still kinda do). I seriously thought about this chapter everyday bc it contains one of my favorite moments between Ness and Negan, you’ll see why. I’d like to give a special thanks to my editor @sweetsweetpeach! ily, Ry.💞 don’t forget to reblog/like to let me know your thoughts, and make sure you hit me up if you wanna be added to the taglist. my masterlist is in my bio, if you wanna check any of my other stuff out as well. well, much love and happy reading!💋

"No one really loves you until you're dead," he mumbled softly.

That's what Negan always believed. He sighed and scratched at the armrest of his chair, looking at the bed in front of him.

Vanessa lied there, sound asleep and unaware of his presence. Her skin was pale and her forehead had beads of sweat collecting by her hair. He sat forward a bit, putting his elbows on his knees and clasping his hands, "People always take you for granted, treat you more like a liability."

He blinked, feeling guilt sink in.

"I didn't understand that until Luci was gone," he breathed, his hands squeezing together a little tighter. He hung his head low, feeling emotion well up in his stomach and he swallowed hard.

"I cheated on her; took her for granted," he said, "It was no goddamn secret that I was a piece of shit of a husband either," Negan sat back again, putting a foot up on her bed and sighing, his hand going up to rub his chin.

He swallowed softly and unconsciously shook his head, his eyes focused on the laces of his boots, "But you already knew that."

Negan looked out the window behind him at the sound of truck engines revving up. Black smoke from the exhaust pipes mixed into the humid morning air. He quickly reached over to shut it. Looking back at Ness he sighed, seeing her chest rise and fall as she breathed.

"Man," he whispered, "Fuck this."

Negan shook his head while clenching his fists and squeezing his eyes shut. This was all too familiar.

He grunted softly and stood, linking hands behind his neck and softly pulling down his elbows.

He glanced up at the ceiling, then down at her. The IV was in her arm, he could see the bruises and scratches she had received from being on the run. There were new marks he had never seen before too, new scars he had never touched. He knew they were from people because any scratch from a biter would have killed her.

This made Negan angry. He clenched his teeth, then quickly advanced towards the edge of the bed. He slammed his hands onto the mattress, allowing his upper body to hover over hers.

"This is your fault," he scowled, "You were supposed to stay with me; you fucking said you'd never leave, but you did, and now look at you."

"I was supposed to protect you." His jaw locked together then he forcefully stood. Her deep sleep stayed uninterrupted. He stood over her and grunted, running his hand through his hair.

The sun was rising. The room had a golden glow in it, the dark shadows of the window stretching on the walls and floors. Negan sighed and let out a frustrated whimper. He had gotten no sleep the night before.

He was extremely exhausted but he refused to leave her side. For him, this was probably the only time he'd have with her for a few days. When she wakes up, there's no way she's gonna wanna be around him. There were also some matters he had to attend to. Those didn't concern her, and they didn't need to. He needed to keep her as far away from them as possible.

Negan breathed, shaking the cobwebs from his mind, and pressed the button on his walkie. His eyes tightly shut.

His voice was deep and raspy from the exhaustion and from the brutality his neck had gotten the night before. Nonetheless, he spoke, "Good morning, shits, it's Negan. I hope you're all up, bright and early, ready to start the day. Now, before you get to your daily duties, I need one of you to bring two trays of food and some fresh clothes, from my room, down to the infirmary. Who's up for it?"

A few seconds passed before the walkie beamed to life with another voice, "On it, Sir. Anything specific on the trays?"

He looked over at the sleeping woman than blinked, bringing the walkie back to his mouth, "Make sure one has apple slices. They better be green."

"Sure thing. Have it there in thirty."

Negan put both hands on his hips and started to pace back and forth. He closed his eyes and breathed in and out, before turning on his heels. The leader in him was awake before he was, getting ready to pull through the day's tasks.

His mind began to buzz through his exhaustion, going down the list of things that had to be done. He had to talk with his core group, and see how to fix the roamer yard. The dead were falling apart, causing them to roam away and leave the Sanctuary unprotected.

He had to visit one of the communities that they had just reeled in. It was a new group, and by what he was told, the place they had was big and well-fortified. Negan had tried to imagine a place with tall metal walls and a giant gate, but couldn't seem to piece it all together. He was on a 'gotta see it to believe it' mentality about the place.

Negan had a tough time cracking through to them, but with a few swings with Lucille and a threat with a hatchet, he was finally able to call their leader his.

The group in itself was a group of ruthless murderers, at least in his mind. They had swept through one of his outposts and had murdered over fifty of his sleeping followers.

He would be lying if he said he wasn't ever-so-slightly nervous when it all came down to it.

He opened his eyes and sighed once more.

There was a mirror on the wall just across from him, so he slowly went to it. His reflection was a lot different than he thought. Negan's breath quickened a bit as he saw the bruises on his neck.

His eyes focused on the red and purple ring around his throat, taking in each dot and splash of enclosed blood.

In one night, Vanessa had saved him and had also tried to kill him.

His mind flashed back and forth. He thought to when she saved him, her grunt echoing in his head, tainting his memories. The face of Annette's sunken eyes and pale skin blankly staring as she squeezed his neck, then collapsed right in front of him.

Then his mind flew back to right before she was put to sleep. Ness's face, angry and flowing with tears, her warm yet strong hand tightly holding his neck, trembling and sweating. Her face. So angry and spiteful. It reminded him of when they had first met.

"God...," he thought, "it's so clear." Negan released a soft breath.

He was just like everyone else in the world at the time; trying to survive in a world full of monsters, both the living and the dead.

Negan was traveling on his own. All surviving groups he had come across had died or gotten lost in the new world. He was cursed with having to stay alive and alone through it all.

He was walking through a suburban town, it was quaint and quiet. All the homes were family homes, rotting toys were littering the streets and yards. Identical trash cans were toppled over, their contents spilled on the sidewalks. The minivans and pickup trucks had deflated tires, busted windows, or hyphenated gas still sitting in the driveways. Blood splatters and rotting bodies were scattered around, their stench grasping at every fresh gust of wind that blew. He strode through, watching his surroundings and holding his trusty baseball bat in front of him. He had a gun in the back of his waistband. It was bulletless.

Negan wore a green flannel and black jeans. He also had a burgundy sweater, it was wrapped around his waist, and it read "Alan's Used Cars" on the left side of the chest. He carried a backpack that had some useful items he had scavenged over the past couple of days. There were some tomatoes he had stumbled upon in a backyard in his pack, as well as a can of water chestnuts and an empty bottle. He also had a knife in there, it was dull and its handle was coming loose.

A small home stuck out to him. It had a white picket fence, a doll and tricycle in the yard, and matching shutters all around the windows. There was no car in the driveway, which meant whoever had lived there had either left during the first days or they were still in the house, as roamers and the car was stolen. There were two roamers stuck to the picket fence, both stabbed in the abdomen and unable to get out. Negan decided to leave them there. He didn't want to waste his energy on roamers that were no potential harm to him.

Someone else could deal with them.

He opened the front gate and both roamers reached out to him, snarling and growling.

"Shut up," he mumbled, slamming the gate shut behind him. He walked to the yard and did a perimeter check first. The backyard had a small playset and a sandbox, as well as a grill that was filled with twigs and leaves. He noticed no stains or brokenness in the area, just decay. All was clear.

He then peered through each of the windows. There was no sign of person or roamer that he could see. If they were upstairs, all he had to do was open one room at a time, and hope the family didn't decide to spend their last waking moments cuddled in bed. That image made his stomach turn.

Negan then climbed up the short stairway and tried the door. It opened.

He raised his bat, slowly opening the door with his foot. He knocked on the door frame, then whistled softly. Nothing came about.

One thing he had learned was that the roamers were attracted by sound and light.

Negan slowly walked his way in, shutting the door softly behind him. There was a quiet ringing in his ear. The home was completely silent.

There was no thudding or dragging of feet, no growling or scratching on wood. He swallowed. Although it was quiet, it didn't mean there wasn't something in the house.

He slowly walked around the first floor, covering the kitchen, the dining room, the living room, and a small playroom. He would scavenge later.

He then made his way upstairs. He still held his bat tightly, as he peeked his head onto the second floor. He saw no bodies or feet in the hallway, which was good. It was late afternoon, so the home wasn't well lit. He had to really keep his eyes peeled and his ears on alert.

He tiptoed up the stairs. All the doors were shut.

He whistled again, waiting for any of the doors to begin rattling.

None did.

He whistled again, this time hitting his fist on each of the rooms, there were three in total all and a bathroom.

Still nothing. He listened to each door individually.

Nothing.

Negan suddenly felt an overwhelming sense of relief. He sank against a wall and sighed a bit, putting his bat down next to him.

His hand reached up to his hair, where he ran his fingers through. Looking up he softly mumbled, "Thank you."

He had been on his own for nearly a month. Every night, wherever he found to rest his head, was almost always interrupted by some hungry, dead, smelly bastard with rotting skin. He swallowed hard and looked down the stairs, remembering he still had to scavenge the home.

He wanted to choose his room first. He put his pack by the stairs and went to the first door.

Inside was a bright pink room, with stars, flowers, and toys everywhere. The bed was small and covered in dolls. There was a rainbow border around the walls, and giant dollhouse by the window, which was dressed in white curtains.

"What the fuck," he mumbled. He shook his head and shut the door.

The next room he entered was exactly the same, but instead of pink, it was littered covered in purple.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" he thought, and he shook his head again, shutting the door. He then opened the third door.

As it creaked open, he saw his reflection in a mirror. He cringed.

If Santa Clause was skinny and had just trekked through a barren wasteland for a month, then Negan would be the spitting image.

There was a large bed, vanity, dresser, and even a bathroom. He sighed with relief, and jumped on the bed. It smelled dusty and he could see the particles fly in the air, but to him, that was heaven.

His whole body relaxed and he could feel the tension in his muscles soothe. He didn't want to get too comfortable though.

He rolled off and stood on his feet, looking out the window.

The two roamers were still stuck to the fences, and there were three others walking the street. He just had to stay quiet and he would be safe for the night.

The next couple of hours Negan secured the home. He barricaded the front and back doors, he scavenged the home. There were multiple water bottles in the kitchen and he put them all on the counter. Negan took a seat in the living room, ate a tomato and drank an entire water bottle. He counted seven of them.

He watched through the bay window that looked out from the living room and onto to the street. Roamers were walking by as if he didn't exist. That was a good thing. The dead on the fence lost his scent and just stayed there.

When he finally decided he was ready to sleep, he trotted upstairs with his bat, and went into the master bedroom. Once inside, he pushed the dresser against his door.

"Can never be too safe," he murmured to himself. He realized that he had yet to look around this room himself.

Negan dug around the drawers, finding clothes around his size. He put on new pants and a new, clean white shirt that he found. There were some matches and candles, as well as a bottle of whiskey hidden in the closet. He gave a silent cheer and opened the bottle, taking a swig.

"Oh, baby, I missed this," he thought. Negan then lit a small candle and sat on the bed, looking out the window and down to the street. He took another sip of his alcohol.

He watched closely as some roamers turned and began walking the other direction, down towards where Negan had came from. He scrunched his eyebrows.

"Maybe a raccoon," he thought. He took another drink. He turned to get a better look down that way, and what he saw was someone slicing the roamers left and right. He couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman, but they were quick on their feet, chopping multiple at once with their weapon. Then, he noticed there were three of them. He blew out his candle and ducked, putting the bottle of whiskey on a nightstand.

He gazed at the three people as they continued to fight. He shook his head.

"Not my problem," he said, grabbing the whiskey and beginning to chug it. The bitter liquid slid down his throat like a snake, and coated his throat and stomach. He burped lightly, and then drank the last sip. He licked his lips and put the bottle back on the nightstand.

Negan hesitantly slid his shoes off before climbing onto the bed, trying to get comfortable.

His bat was on the floor, his empty gun on the nightstand, and a brand new knife he had found in the kitchen was on the pillow next to him. He looked up to the dresser he had placed in front of the door. If anything was going to come in, he would know before it or they could get to him.

He turned over on his side and released a shaky breath.

It was silent now, so the roamers must've gotten them. Negan swallowed and shook his head, and let his mind wander.

"Should've helped them. That's what Lucille would've done."

"Oh, Luci," he mumbled. He brought his hands to his face and rubbed his cheeks.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

His heartbeat jumped.

Negan quickly sat up, looking around the room. There was scrapping of furniture downstairs, and the front door slammed shut.

More scrapping furniture.

He grabbed the bat in one hand and took the gun in another. He quietly picked up the dresser, moving it from the door.

Negan's heartbeat accelerated in speed. He was sweating and his hands trembled. He was scared of what'd he see behind the door.

He rested his ear on it, trying to make out what was happening.

"Put it back, put it back!"

Feet scrambled around and more furniture was dragged across the groundfloor.

Negan slowly opened the door and peeked through its the crack, looking down the stairs at the front door.

"Do you think they'll follow us?"

"Probably, but, if we stay quiet in here, they'll go."

"The fence might block them off too."

As far as Negan could tell in the darkness, there were two women, both were carrying backpacks. They were breathing heavily and whispering to one another. Negan gulped as he listened and watched.

"What are we gonna do about these supplies? June needs them, Ness."

A male voice. There was a third person. Negan grew nervous, knowing he couldn't take down three people on his own. He now felt stuck, unsure if he should reveal himself or hide.

"I know, but we can't go out there. Not now," the woman he assumed was Ness replied. She looked out the window and shook her head.

"Yeah, there's no way," she said, "They're all over the fence."

"How many?"

"20, maybe? I know we can get them if we stay behind the fence but, we've been out for two days."

The other woman sighed and looked at the man. He hung his head.

"It'll be clear by morning. At first light, we leave," Ness said.

There was no reply from the other two, so Negan guessed that they had agreed.

For Negan, this was a problem. He was a stranger, they were strangers. They could be cannibals for all he knew; he had ran into a couple of those along the way. He had to do something, and quick.

"Okay," said the second woman, "So, what do we do in the meantime?"

She was standing a little ahead of the man, and they were both facing their leader.

"Do what we always do," she said, placing her pack on the ground, "Clear, search, scavenge. Whatever you find, bring back here."

The other two nodded, placed down their packs, and lifting their weapons. The leader swallowed hard and looked up those stairs. Holding a machete, and placing loaded a revolver on the back of her waistband, she tiptoed up the stairs.

Negan cursed under his breath and shut the door, scrambling around.

"Closet."

He instructed his feet to move inside and shut it.

Minutes later, the bedroom door opened and the woman walked in.

She was shivering and sweating with every step. Negan watched her through the blinds of the closet door.

She was short. Her hair was curly and wild, there was nothing that could tame it. He could hear her breathing heavily. He watched her nervously, the bulletless gun still in his veiny hands, and the bat in one of his belt loops.

She walked with the machete in front of her, like a sword. Her eyes scanned each inch of that bedroom, looking for any movement. She saw nothing.

A small sigh of relief escaped her lips as she swallowed deeply. Still looking in front of her, she slowly lowered the weapon and blinked. She looked over at how the dresser was moved slightly, but thought not much of it.

The people of this world did a lot strange things when it ended. She had seen way more than a misplaced dresser.

She went over to the window and looked down to the front yard. Two more dead ones had added themselves to the picket fence. She scoffed.

"Don't move."

The click of a chamber, the heavy breathing of a human being.

The woman's heart jumped and she sucked in a quick breath. Adrenaline shot through her body as she looked to her right with her eyes alone.

"Put the machete down, and put the gun on the bed."

Negan was shaking as he pointed the gun at her head. This act of defence was all a bluff, and if she figured it out, he was screwed.

The woman swallowed and held her hands up, as she slowly turned towards the mattress. She got a good look at her captor, in the moonlight, and she clenched her teeth.

The man in front of her was taller than her. She could hear in his voice that he had some rest prior to her being there, so she knew his strength would overpower her. The woman's eyes held his gaze as she put the machete down and went behind her, pulling out the revolver.

"Is that all that's on you?" he forcefully whispered to her.

She nodded slowly, her hands still above her. She never broke the eye contact.

"The people with you... there's only two of them right?" Negan's voice was shaking.

She picked up on his insecurities.

"Yes."

"What weapons do they have?"

The woman swallowed.

"Nate has two loaded Glocks and a knife in his back pocket," she paused, catching her breath, "Belle has a shotgun but, it's attached to her bag. She's clearing the house with a crowbar."

Negan nodded. He needed that. Hell, he needed all of their weapons. He took in a deep breath and went to speak, but then, he heard footsteps come closer to him. When he turned his head, the barrel of a shotgun was staring him in the face. He shivered.

"Put it down, now."

It was Nate. As Negan's eyes grew wide, the woman snatched the gun from his hands and threw her leg up, kicking him in the abdomen. Negan grunted loudly crashing into the closet door, his weight breaking its wooden blinds. He held his stomach while he struggled for air, she had knocked it out of him. Nate followed his body as it fell and began to squirm, and the woman checked the weapon.

"Shit's empty," she scoffed. Nate shook his head.

She threw it across the floor and grabbed her loaded revolver. Getting down to his level, she kneeled and placed the nuzzle underneath his chin. The cold metal froze Negan's skin and he swallowed hard.

Sweat ran down his spine and he started quaking.

"I don't like killing the living," the woman said. Her head tilted. Negan's words stumbled out of his mouth, and he had his hands up.

"I-I-I-I was just trying to protect myself, I didn't mean to scare you-"

The woman put the bullet in place and tilted her head again. He jolted backwards in fear and making Nate chuckle.

"Hey! Whoa! I'm not trying to hurt anyone. I'm sorry, I just didn't know who you were," he loudly whispered to the both of them. Any noise, at all, would most likely draw all the roamers deeper into their safe space. Any more pressure on that fence and it could give out. Even he didn't want to risk that.

"Who are you?" The woman's eyebrows scrunched and her toes curled. She drew her face closer to this man's, intimidating him with every breath she took.

Negan gulped and looked her in the eyes. They shook back and forth, looking from her to Nate, then to the door, knowing there was a third person.

Negan quakingly said his own name. The woman in front of him studied him for a second more.

"Negan," she repeated, "Where are you from?"

"Virginia. I've been roaming around since it all started," he answered her again, this time with a bit more confidence.

"Have you been in other groups?"

Negan hesitated. Revealing what happened to all of them could kill his chances with these people. His eyes bounced back and forth from Nate's barrel and to the woman's face. The moonlight was coming through the room, and his eyes adjusted. The woman in front of him was beautiful.

"Answer me!" she demanded. Nate put his gun up to Negan's head, breathing in deeply.

"They're all dead or missing," Negan said nervously.

"How'd they die?"

Many at his expense. He got sudden flashbacks on how some of the people died, specifically the ones he favored, and he swallowed hard.

"Same fucking way everyone else does," he said through his teeth. The woman gritted her teeth and looked down a bit, thinking. She then looked up, her face had grown stern.

"Look," she started, pushing the gun to his throat, "Try anything, and I'll tie your limbs together and toss you to the fucking biters out there. You do as I say and don't say a damn word unless it means we're all in danger or," she paused, looking into his eyes with suspicion, "if it involves me. Understand?"

Negan calmly nodded, and the woman looked at Nate.

Nate felt a little less convinced with the stranger, but he trusted his leader's judgment. She had let strangers in, in the past, and all of them were still alive and were well-working members of their group. He knew Ness knew what she was doing.

The woman nodded at Negan and she swallowed her pride, pulling the gun from his neck, and standing. She pointed it down at him.

"Stand," she commanded. Negan did as he was told and she nodded at Nate. He pulled out a zip tie from his pocket and took Negan's arms. He tied them behind his back and Negan glared at the woman.

She looked back at him, a sparkle in her eye. The woman in his sights was no ordinary person. She was reading him just by the items he had and by the movements he made. She turned into the room and grabbed all his things.

Nate started pushing Negan towards the door and Ness followed behind.

As they walked downstairs, Belle was standing in the living room, searching through a drawer under the television's mantle. She straightened her back and saw a new face in the reflection of the screen. Quickly grabbing the crowbar in her belt loop, she spun around. Her hands squeezed tightly at the metal tool.

Then she saw Nate and Ness.

"He was hiding upstairs," Ness said.

Still in shock, she blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to the new living, breathing, human being in the room.

"Wha-well, he's not staying, is he, Vanessa?"

"For now he is," Nate replied, "Did you clear?"

"Yes," she replied, confusingly watching as they placed Negan in a chair. She stared at the man who was more beard than face. Her eyebrows came together in curiosity.

Negan took a deep breath, uncomfortable yet intrigued by her gaze. He shifted in his seat and looked down, listening to the people around him.

"Go through each room and pull out whatever you think might be useful," Ness said, "Bring it all down here and we'll inventory in the morning. There's only a couple hours of darkness left so, be quick. We gotta sleep."

She walked over to the windows and started shutting the curtains. Nate pulled out a lantern and a box of matches. Belle grabbed a messenger bag that was resting on the ground, and she slung it over her shoulder. Before trotting upstairs, she gave one last stare to the stranger in the chair.

"I've got him," Ness said, glancing at the dark-haired girl. She tied her long hair into a ponytail, then started her way up the stairs. Ness was pushing the blinds shut and lining them with duct-tape. It was completely dark for a few seconds, then a spark lit in the center of the room.

A warm orange light filled the room, shadows starting to dance all around them. Negan looked up and smelled the burning match in the air. He looked quickly between Nate and Ness, finally getting a good look at the both of them.

"I'm gonna take another look around," Nate said to Vanessa. She nodded and told him to be careful. He then went up the stairs.

Negan sat in complete silence. His thoughts were running a marathon, as he questioned whether he wanted to stay with these people or not. He wondered where his bat was and also wondered if these people were worth behaving for. He looked around at what he could take from them, and at what benefits he could get by staying with them. Either way, he needed their trust. Pushing his thoughts away, he looked up and observed the woman in the room.

She pulled a stale cigarette from a broken up carton, and stuck it in the flame of the lantern. She took a drag of it and held it between her lips. She was looking down at the bags they had previously brought in, and squatted down to the floor to rummage through one. Negan followed her every movement and calculated each of her steps. She was a woman of authority, he could read it all over her. She stood protectively, her hands were bruised and scarred from the brutal survival of this world. He wondered how big their actual group was, and where their camp was set up.

He watched her hips as she walked around the couch and to a small wooden box that was sitting on a side table. She could feel his gaze and she looked at him.

"See something you like?" she asked. She turned her body towards him and Negan licked his lips. She took in her cigarette once more, and slowly walked towards him, blowing the smoke in his face.

He hadn't had a cigarette in months, he was trying to quit. But the heat of that smoke caused him to inhale, taking in each chemical. He felt his mind buzz as he opened his eyes.

Aroused, he moved his face closer to hers, as she rested her hands on the armrests of the chair he was in. Her chest hung low and he took in every curve of her. He wished he was loose, so he could wrap his hands around her, so he could feel her. It had been a while since he was able to do that with any woman.

Negan's hands started to sweat and his legs quaked, as she put one hand on his shoulder, using her fingers to guide his head closer to hers. They locked eyes as she twirled his hair around her fingers. He stared at her lips and took in the feeling of his heartbeat speeding up. She took another drag of her smoke and blew out.

Negan's mouth salivated at the thought of simply being so close to her, he couldn't imagine what would happen to him if she even slightly laid her lips on his skin. The thought in itself gave him chills, and his toes curled. His eyes started to droop, getting ready, as she grew closer and closer.

Then, in a calm and swift movement, she took the butt of the cigarette and pushed it to Negan's neck. He shouted at the sudden pain.

Her left hand flew up and grabbed his hair, getting a tight and painful grip.

"Not everyone can have what they want," she said through her teeth. She pushed his head back and stepped back, throwing the cigarette on the ground. Glaring into his eyes she crushed it under her foot, letting him know that he wasn't going to cross her, and that he'd never even try.

He felt dizzy as he got whipped from his trance.

"Negan, we've got a situation in block C."

The walkie on his hip buzzed alive and Negan opened his eyes, looking at himself again.

A cold breeze blew down his spine as he was yanked into reality. The memory had came to a halt.

He scowled and pulled up the radio, squeezing the button.

"What is it now?"

He never broke eye contact with himself.

"Domestic dispute, sir," said the man on the other side, "Some guy just hit his wife. He doesn't want to comply."

Negan grunted, turning from the mirror to forcefully grab Lucille.

"Handle it until I get there," Negan said through gritted teeth. He walked towards the door and opened it. He paused, looking back at Ness.

The woman he knew was someone he looked up to in ways no one could understand. He just hoped that the woman he knew was still in there.

[guns-n-zeppelin]

Never say die - Chapter one

Pairing: Axl Rose x reader Words: 2561 Summary: Reader accidentally time travels back to 1985 where Axl, Duff, Slash, Steven and Izzy find her. A/N: So i posted this already before but i changed this a bit bc first it was Robert Plant x reader and i don’t have motivation for Robert rn lmao. So now you can enjoy Axl’s company. I’ll try to update asap

”I can't believe it's already today!” my best friend Leo yelled from the living room. I was still in the bathroom trying to fix my hair for tonight. ”I've been waiting for this for such a long time and it's finally happening.”

We were going to see Guns N' Roses at tonight's concert which started at 7 pm. Leo and I loved Guns N' Roses, we were crazy about their music. I had all of their songs on vinyl and many posters on my walls. We were sure for a moment that we couldn't afford to buy the tickets, but luckily I got my salary from work earlier than usual. Probably one reason was also that it was my birthday today and my boss knew how much I loved this band. I finally turned 20 and I was sure this night would be the best birthday ever.

”I know right! I hope they'll play Better, I've been lately really in love with it. My all time favorite is obviously November Rain though, but I know they'll play it every time,” I yelled back and worked with my hair for a couple of minutes more after the curls were good enough. I walked to the living room and saw Leo talking on the phone.

”Dude, how can you not be ready yet?! We're gonna be late soon if you don't hurry up,” Leo said to the phone. Probably talking with Amelie, I thought, she was coming with us and we were supposed to go get her from her house.

”We still have time you know, we're not that busy yet,” I tried to calm him down. He'd been stressing out a lot during the last couple of months. He was sure something bad would happen before the concert and we'd miss it, like for instance Axl would become really sick and lose his voice or the band would get into a car accident.

”We'll be there in 15, you better be ready by then. See you soon!” Leo said and ended the call.

”Calm down, dude. Jesus, you're acting like some young fangirl meeting Harry Styles or who the curly brownie is. Except you're not screaming your lungs out,” I laughed and Leo finally gave me a tiny smile. ”Just breathe.”

”Yeah, let's go,” Leo said and took car keys from the table.

---

It took hours to get in but we finally made it. There were so many people, thousands of them. I had never been in a same area with so many people before. I hadn't been in many concerts because my favorites had mostly either died or they didn't just do gigs anymore. Quite hard to be a classic rock fan in 2017 to be honest. I'd literally do anything to get a time machine and travel back to 70's and 80's. Pink Floyd, The Doors, Nirvana, Queen… There were so many.

”Oh my god,” Amelie gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

”What?” I asked and drank water from my bottle.

”Okay, don't look. But how much does that pal look like a mix of Slash and Axl?” Amelie pointed a young guy with long curly brown hair, pilot sunglasses, cigarette in his mouth, a cowboy hat on his head and a red checked shirt around his waist. And right then, I accidentally spitted all of the water left in my mouth straight to some man's back and bursted out laughing.

”Oh my god he really does.”

The man turned around, stared at me and tried to touch his back on the wet spot.

”What the fuck –” he started. Then I fully realized what had happened.

”I'm so so sorry! I didn't mean to do that!” I apologized slightly panicking. He just shook his head and turned back to his friends.

Leo was trying to hold his laughter but didn't have time to say anything when the music already started.

---

The concert was amazing, much more amazing than I expected it to be. I literally didn't have any words for the feeling, it was one of the best moments of my life. I couldn't have had any better birthday than tonight. Their first song was Welcome to the Jungle and I slightly cried during Don't Cry – which is quite ironic. Now was the time of their last song before this all would come to its end.

”So this song is really special to us for many reasons. We dedicated this song to our old friend, our best friend,” Axl said on the microphone. ”Without her, we wouldn't probably be here tonight. She was amazing, more than amazing. She was kind, funny and fucking sarcastic. Steven and her did always pranks on the rest of us.”

I had never heard Axl talk about anyone or anything so softly, deeply or just seen him being so emotional during a concert. Everybody in the audience were quiet, probably even held their breaths and let Axl speak without interruptions. He sighed and continued.

”She was always there for us when we had our hard times. I don't have a fucking clue how she handled our drunk asses after some gigs,” Axl laughed. ”We first met in 1985 when we weren't a big thing yet, we were just a little band nobody had ever heard about. And one night we were playing at a local bar and after the playing and stuff she came to talk to us and said how well we played and we would be some helluva band in the future. Well, she wasn't wrong, like she never was.”

I was speechles like were everybody else. Duff and Slash had become more serious now and didn't move even an inch, just stared at the sky.

”She was from Los Angeles as well. She was on a tour with us quite often actually. She meant a lot to us. A lot to me. There’s not a day when i wouldn’t miss her,” Axl said smiling, but was quiet for a moment until continued. ”But the thing is that she died in 1997, she was only 32 years old by then. We were there when it happened and it was literally the worst moment of my whole life. And why are we singing this song exactly today? Well, because this is the day she both died and was born.”

Axl shared a few words with Duff and Slash that the audience couldn't hear. Then he turned to face us again and said:

”Now I'd ask every one of your asses to calm down and have a moment for her.” Axl looked at the dark sky with a couple of stars, ”this is for you, Amy, happy birthday, honey.”

The band began to play and already of the first words I recognized the song to be from the album Chinese Democracy. It was This I Love.

And now I don't know why She wouldn't say goodbye But then it seems that I Had seen it in her eyes And it might not be wise I'd still have to try With all the love I have inside I can't deny I just can't let it die Cause her heart's just like mine And she holds her pain inside So if you ask me why She wouldn't say goodbye I know somewhere inside There is a special light Still shining bright And even on the darkest night She can't deny So if she's somewhere near me I hope to God she hears me There's no one else Could ever make me feel I'm so alive I hoped she'd never leave me Please God you must believe me I've searched the universe And found myself Within' her eyes No matter how I try They say it's all a lie So what's the use of my confessions to a crime Of passions that won't die In my heart So if she's somewhere near me I hope to God she hears me There's no one else Could ever make me feel I'm so alive I hoped she'd never leave me Please God you must believe me I've searched the universe And found myself Within' her eyes

In this point of the song the camera had zoomed to Axl's face and I noticed a couple of tears rolling down his cheek but there was also sorrow on Duff's and Slash's faces. She must have really been an important person in their lives, I wondered and just now noticed how wet my but also Amelie's cheeks were.

So if she's somewhere near me I hope to God she hears me There's no one else Could ever make me feel I'm so alive I hoped she'd never leave me Please God you must believe me I've searched the universe And found myself Within' her eyes So now I don't know why She wouldn't say goodbye It just might be that I Had seen it in her eyes And now it seems that I Gave up my ghost of pride I'll never say goodbye ---

The band said one more good bye and then people were pushing themselves to get out of the place. When we were finally outside of the concert area thingy and could breathe properly without being stuffed between humans, Leo took a cigarette and put it between his teeth.

”Well don't come to cry to me when the doctor tells that you have a cancer,” Amelie said and rolled her eyes.

”You want some, Ruby?” Leo asked, totally ignoring Amelie, and offering me one from the packet. I shrugged and took the cigarette.

”Eh, why not.” I lighted it and watched the smoke flying in the chilly air. ”Why wouldn't we go to a bar or something? It's only 11 pm anyway. And I need something to drink.”

My friends nodded.

”Sure thing. It's been a while since the last time I had vodka,” Amelie stated.

”Funny, it was two days ago, drunky,” Leo snorted.

”Well, we're both apparently destroying our bodies. You your lungs and me my liver,” Amelie grinned and we started walking to the bar. ---

We were nearly there, when we had to cross a dark alley.

”You know, we could go to some other way. This place gives me chills at night,” Amelie told us.

”Yeah, but it's the fastest and besides, you just think too much. Nobody's gonna attack on us tonight. And if someone did, there's three of us to handle it,” I tried to assure. Amelie just scoffed.

”As if Leo could protect us. He even screams and runs away every time he sees a mouse.” Me and Amelie started to giggle.

”Hey! That's not fair and especially not true!”

”Sureee, remember last week when –”

”Hey, Ruby, wanna hear what happened to Amelie yesterday?” Leo started.

”No, no! Fine, you're the manliest man on Earth! You could even fight God!”

I just laughed. I still wondered how they weren't in a relationship. They would be the perfect couple to be honest.

”Thanks I know I'm quite powerful,” Leo said and did an invisible hair flip thingy because his hair wasn't long enough. We were in the middle of the alley when we suddenly heard noise somewhere near. We saw a drunk man ahead of us pushing a young woman against the brick wall with his body. The woman tried to yell help but the man shutted her up by putting his hand roughly on her mouth.

”Well aren't you a pretty lady?” the man said and brushed her long blond hair. She was wearing a purple dress, high heels and a black jacket. We saw already from the distance how afraid she was and without thinking anything, I approached them.

”Hey, asshole! Let the lady go!” I yelled and got his attention.

”Ruby, no, come back! Let's just leave!” Amelie said and tried to pull me with her but I just pulled away from her grip. The drunk guy stared at me for a moment until let the young woman go. She mouthed us 'thank you', took her purse and sprinted quickly away.

”And who might you be? You're just adorable,” he said and smiled, revealing his dirty yellow teeth. His brown hair was a mess, he probably hadn't washed it in a week. His clothes looked like he had rolled himself in a mud and his shirt was full of holes. Suddenly he was so close I could smell his breath. Beer. Disgusting.

Without thinking anything, I punched him with all of my force to his face and he whined in pain and held his bleeding nose. I had never punched anybody so hard and it fucking hurt my hand. I tried to run away with Leo and Amelie, but he was too quick and grapped me by my arm, so I kicked him on his man parts. But he managed to push me hard enough me to fall to the wet and hard ground.

”Ruby!” Leo shouted and tried to help me up and get me away but suddenly I felt horrible pain on my stomach. I saw blood on my t-shirt and saw a bloody knife falling to the ground. The man just stared in front of me a shocked expression on his face.

”Shit. Oh shit,” he murmured before he turned on his heels and run quickly away. Leo got a hold of me before I could collapse.

”Ruby! Ruby, no!” Amelie yelled and felt tears immediately stream from her eyes, as did also Leo.

”Fucking bastard! No, Ruby. Stay with us,” Leo said with shaky voice. ”For fuck's sake, Amelie, call help! Now!”

Amelie's hands were shaking and she barely got dialed the right number on her phone and told ambulance to come here immediately. Leo kneeled on the ground and held me in his arms. He pressed my stomach on the spot where the asshole had stabbed me, trying to stop the bleeding but with a bad success.

”The help is on its way, don't worry, you'll be fine,” Leo said crying. He had stabbed me badly, very badly. I was sure I wouldn't make it alive back home today. A tear rolled down my pale cheek.

”I-I love you guys,” I whispered. ”I really love you two.”

”No, no don't say that!” Amelie said. She had also kneeled next to me and cupped my face between her hands. ”They're here in any second, okay?”

But then I saw nothing but black and the familiar voices of my friends faded away.

---

The next time I woke up, I realized I wasn't at home nor a hospital. I was sure I hadn't been there before, it even smelled strange. I was laying in someone's bed and when I tried to get up I still felt pain in my stomach but not as bad as before and a shockingly familiar figure came from the door and smiled when he saw I was finally awake.

”Oh, great! You're finally awake!” he said.

I stared at him with wide eyes and he was just about to say something when I got up very quickly and basically screamed the words out of me.

”Where the fuck am I?! Who– what–?!”

”Woah, calm down. I won't hurt you.” He held his hands up as if defeated and kept a short pause. ”My name is Axl Rose and we just want to help you.”

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #8 - “THEY HAD IT COMING” - Ashley

After being blindsided at Tribal Council, Ashley and Amanda started to plot their revenge.  With a new majority alliance of Jay and all of the men on the tribe formed (“Leftover Cuties”), Ashley and Amanda and their duo alliance “THEY HAVE IT COMING” came up with the idea of forming an all girls alliance.  After Tommy won Immunity, Brett and Tommy led the plan with the Leftover Cuties to take out Christian because they didn’t want an inactive player to be able to stay.  When Ashley and Amanda found out about this plan they told Christian and Ting Ting and were also able to rope in Leah in a plan to take out Brett.  With Jay being the last addition to the newly formed all female alliance called “KICK THE GUYS’ ASSES”, Jay had to decide if she wanted to stay with the men or join the women.  She ended up choosing the women and convincing Linus to come along with her and Brett was blindsided in a 7-4 vote.

a messy, messy, messy vote. I need to start stepping up my game. I’m serious; it’s kinda getting down to it. I need to be a little more strategically sound and not have random slip ups. I believe I’m in a good spot right now, but I need to keep pushing. I need to make moves!!!!

however, I am happy that other people want to play hard, too. It’s not just me that wants to go against people and make blindisides.

What an eventful night. First, Steffen is voted off. Which is amazing. Gotta give huge props to Jay, Sam and Linus for pulling off a beautiful blindside. Hopefully this marks the start of a wonderful alliance. Brett, Linus, Jay, Sam, Tommy and myself for final 6? Maybe. With a group of 6 against a group of 5, it’s looking promising. Anything can happen though. And then, the immunity challenge which Tommy won in about four seconds. Not really but damn did he finish fast. I guess the good thing is he’s on my side, so there isn’t much to worry about. As well, Ashley has been messaging me saying she doesn’t trust anyone, feels betrayed, doesn’t know what to do, etc. I don’t blame her, she was just on the wrong side of a massive blindside but all I can do is smile and sympathize with her. She could have worked with me earlier in the game but she chose not to. She dug her own grave and I’m not digging her out.

OKAY HERE WE GO. Who the HELL would just go around and spread literal shit all over the walls? Brett. Who is so tied up in this game that he can probably see his own asshole? Brett. Who is going to totally have it coming when he is voted out? Brett. Like come on dude, receipts are a thing. Smarten the hell up and make a call once in a while. In other news I am annoyed and shook that my buddy Steffen is gone. I am soooo pissed about Jay betraying us like that. It is clear to see that she will do ANYTHING to get where she wants. If that includes being so shoved up Sam’s ass and seeing his legit left ventricle, so be it. So now Amanda and I need to pull in the ranks for this next vote. Brett, Jay, or Sam need to fucking go. I don’t care who I have to take down along the way, they are leaving.

YES YES YES YES YES!!!!! My biggest threat went home! (Steffen) NOW I WON THE FIRST INDIVIDUAL IMMUNITY! It feels amazing and I just feel glorious. I’m super duper happy right now and can’t contain my excitement. With the individual immunity around my neck I feel like I want to take out someone this round that I feel otherwise will stick around for a while and negatively affect my game. This way I take the biggest chance with immunity around my neck so if someone goes it isn’t me. I can’t believe everything is falling into place! Of the eleven of us left I feel close to Jay, Sam, Brett, Linus, and Ting Ting the most. Followed by Keegen. That means my target this tribal is between Leah, Ashley, Amanda, and Christian. Leah is really into being a “free agent” plus her original tribe as a fan already makes her a target. Ashley/Amanda were totally blindsided and probably want to get Jay/Sam back which I understand but we have the numbers right now and I want to make sure Jay/Sam stay in my side so keeping Ashley/Amanda in another round is good for my game because it will keep them preoccupied. This leaves Christian who hasn’t spoken a single word to me in pms. Girl you didn’t come to play survivor if you don’t even talk to your tribemates in pms. I don’t want people dragging her to the end because she’s a goat. My plan for this round is to take her out because I don’t feel comfortable with her around. Then after this round I’ll go back to being my sweet old self a letting the “bigger” players such and Jay/Sam who think they are leading this 100% take care of Ashley/Amanda for the following rounds. That’s my plans for now.

And now The merry murderess of the Myanmar Camp in her rendition of….. The Cell Block Tango. Fuck! Loner! Squish! Uh uh, Base Camp, Linus! Fuck! Loner! Squish! Uh uh, Base Camp, Linus! Fuck! Loner! Squish! Uh uh, Base Camp, Linus! They have it coming, They have it coming They only have themselves to blame If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it I betcha you would have done the same Fuck! Loner! Squish! Uh Uh, Base Camp, Linus! You know how people have these little habits That get you down? Like Sam Sam liked to mess things up, no, not mess, fuck So I come online this one night and there’s Sam Sittin’ at the bar messin’, no, not messin’, fuckin’ So, I said to him, I said “Sam, you fuck things up one more time” and he did… So I took the shotgun off the wall And I fired two warning shots INTO HIS HEAD He had it coming, he had it coming He only had himself to blame I met Jay Berghuis from Who Knows city about two weeks ago And she told me she was a loner and we hit it off right away So, we started working together She’d make the plans, She’d tell everyone, I’d make sure people saw them through, we’d bask in our greatness. Then I found out,  Loner, she told me LONER MY ASS Not only was she aligned, oh no, he had connections to everyone. One of those Mormons, you know So after tribal one night, when she came back to me I fixed her tea as usual You know, some gals just can’t hold their arsenic. She had it coming, she had it coming She took a friendship in its prime And then she used it and she abused it It was a murder but not a crime Now, I’m standing by the fire Carvin’ up the fish for dinner And in storms my acquaintance Keegan in a jealous rage “You were working with Nehe!” He says, he was crazy and he kept screamin’ “You were working with Nehe!” …….Then he ran into my knife He ran into my knife TEN TIMES If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it I betcha you would have done the same My friend, Tommy and I had this double act And my buddy, Brett worked along with us For the last number in our act We voted out the naïve one One two three four five, splits, spread eagles Flip flops, back flips, votes right after the other Well, this one night we were at camp The three of us, we were in this shelter of leaves ricin’ and havin’ a few laughs and we ran out of water So I went out to get some I come back, open the door There’s Tommy and Brett Doing number seventeen, The Spread Eagle (Get it? Cuz he is so shoved up his ass) Well, I was in such a state of shock, I completely blacked out I can’t remember a thing, it wasn’t until later When I was washing the blood off my hands I even knew they were on jury They had it coming, they had it coming They had it coming all along I didn’t do it, but if I’d done it How could you tell me that I was wrong? I loved Nigel Linus more than I could possibly say, He was a real artistic guy, sensitive, a painter But he was always trying to find a scape goat He’d go out every night looking for one And on the way, he found immunity, Jay, and Samuel I guess you can say we broke up because of artistic differences He saw himself as alive and I saw him torched The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum The dirty bum, bum, bum, bum, bum They had it comin’, they had it comin’ They had it comin’ all along ‘Cause if they used us and they abused us How could they tell us that we were wrong? They have it coming, they have it coming They only have themselves to blame If you’d have been there, if you’d have seen it I betcha you would have done the same You fuck things up one more time Loner my ass Ten times Number seventeen, the spread eagle Artistic differences I BETCHA YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME

Steffen left messages to Leah and Ting Ting to keep an eye out for the three that got him out, so hopefully Amanda and I can use this to our advantage to get them close with us and be votes for us. I swear to god if this doesn’t work I am going to scream.

Ashley: I love playing with ashley. She’s such a nice human bean and just a wonderful person. But i feel like she’s not as active as the rest of us and she doesn’t really participate in challenges so idk if she’s a threat…but you know who knows Brett: Seems chill. He’s a fan. haha fans make cool wind. chilly Christian: well. Jay: slightly more well than christian. steffen told me to be wary of her, linus, and sam bc apparently they’re all snakes but i like jay and hope we can work together and she won’t stab me in the back lol. love being paranoid Keegan: tbh i kinda forgot who you were. sorry. i’m really tired rn and the hosts are making me write this. still love you boo. but yeah you seem like a fun person but i would work on those painting skills. Leah: i wish i talked to you more often but you aren’t really chatting that much so it’s kinda the same as ashley. i don’t really know what to make of that. Linus: linus is really cool and it’s awesome that i actually got a chance to get to know him and become friends with him. Sam: YES SAM! WAY TO MAKE IT THROUGH TRIBAL! seamus and i were watching the tribal and we both cheered so yay! way to go. hopefully we’ll make it through life and stuff Tommy: damn that immunity challenge tho. way to goooooooo. cool eyes brochacho. Trevor: he seems nicer and i think it’s bc he read my last confessional. he’s still v lazy tho so overall still not a fan Owen: well. yikes. all i have to say.

On 12/16/16, at 11:46 PM, Trevor (FvF5 Host) wrote: > My fave favs! ^^JUST SO IN THE FUTURE THE REST OF YOU SHITHEADS KNOW ME AND ASHLEY ARE TREVORS FAVORITES me after this tribal: http://img.thesun.co.uk/aidemitlum/archive/01871/Britney__1871745a.jpg What i wanted to do at tribal: https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/0d/33/42/0d334211f007132e349423053db6fc7a.gif Me and Ashley are Britney, Jay is Ariana: http://sugarscape.cdnds.net/14/49/1417781776-arian19.png to sum it up: http://38.media.tumblr.com/6e5aa91901c65e583adb267f7ce7c108/tumblr_ncdrx5Qt3R1s2ynnio1_400.gif

It’s 5:31am, my boyfriend is snoring so loud I can’t sleep, and I’m officially considering myself the cracked queen of fvf 5. Ashley is pissed at me, which is lowkey surprising, and Amanda doesn’t actually seem to be, which is also lowkey surprising. It seems like literally everyone else is happy about the move we decided to make, so I think I definitely have people to work with going forward. Linus said he found my puzzle and won’t take me out, so I definitely trust him more and more every day. I just don’t want to make the same mistakes I did in Transylvania and let the people who are on the outs with me rise to power to snatch me.

I’m Hali on the beach right now: http://images.yuku.com.s3.amazonaws.com/image/gif/92c3990c0213481abc09dec938801451_r.gif

So Amanda, Leah and I still haven’t heard anything for this tribal. But everything usually happens the day of anyways. I am hoping Jay believes me when I say that I still trust her and am willing to work with her. Because depending on who she comes to me wanting out, I will cut her if I have to. I am hoping we can wrangle Christian and Ting Ting into our alliance so we at least have a solid five. If we can get Jay to vote with us this tribal we could get someone big(ish) out like Sam or Linus. Maybe even Brett. We will just have to see I guess.

I’ll be happy if I never see the words “icon” or “shook” after this game is over. I’m also over “queen.” That is all.

I wasted an idol lol.

hello everyone! I’m coming at you live from the USA’s limp dick–Florida! anyway back to game. On last vote, it was awesome that we were able to get Steffen out on only three votes because it would have been a lot more difficult to get all of that later. It certainly makes the game “easier” for a little bit; I’m not getting complacent, though. we’re voting christian tonight so unless she has something up her ass (and honestly more power to her), the vote should be pretty easy tonight. People are still a little wary of Amanda and Ashley, but I think it’s better to save them for later. Anyway I’m eating shake shack soon so bless up mofos.

The Outcast alliance, consisting of Brett, Linus, Jay, Sam, Tommy and myself are targeting Christian. Good plan, but Ashley was either told of the plan or just coincidentally guessed the vote, since she told Tommy she was voting Christian. We’re sticking with the plan, Jay and Tommy specifically said there’s no sense in worrying and I agree. I think it’s unlikely Christian has an idol. But we’ll see. As long as the vote isn’t me, I’m happy

Someone information has come to light. Apparently there’s talks of a girls alliance forming. The rest of the girls are trying to sway Jay to their side. Kinda last minute, they’re just struggling to find some way to get a majority. I trust enough in Jay that she will stick with us

All girls alliance! Fuck yes. Look at me attempting to save my ass. This is pretty great and I am hoping the vote for Brett tonight actually works. His ass needs to go. He keeps thinking he is in control and every time he speaks in the tribe chat I want to pull out my eyeballs. Like tbh. He is spreading too much crap and I don’t need the whole world knowing about Amanda and I.

Well, I’m at a crossroads. I have a six person majority alliance with all the guys on the tribe and another separate six person majority alliance with the girls on the tribe. The guys are targeting Christian and the girls are targeting Brett, so I could go either way at this point. I don’t want to wake up with half of the tribe hating me tomorrow, so I may just throw my vote toward someone random and force a revote and then potentially rocks. This is the scariest position I’ve ever been in on tumblr survivor. I hate that this is the vote that going to define my game and I barely even had a choice in being shoved in the middle. Tomorrow, everything is going to be different with people I’ve been working with for a long time, regardless of which way I go. This is a lot. A lot. Linus has kind of become my #1 ally in the game since it seems like Tommy may have a bigger mouth and more connections than I thought, so I’ve been telling him pretty much everything and he’s comfortable flipping on Brett with me. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. Stay tuned, buckaroos.

I sure am glad we don’t play this game on like messenger or something. I seem to lie about reading messages a lot 😅😂

So, last minute  on the vote today it’s brought  to light that  a girls alliance wants  to vote out Brett instead of Christian. Jay came to me to say that she  felt like it may be in her best interest to make the jump. I really don’t feel the most comfortable with jumping on board with a womans alliance, especially since last time I checked I am very much not a woman. However, Jay is my closest ally far and away, and I think she already kind of had her mind set on this jump, so my options were to keep her as an ally and maybe find some new friends, or vote in the minority and lose her trust, so the choice seemed obvious. The truth is my current alliance is sinking, and boy do I not want to swim. So, with that, oh great king of Mata, I bid you ado.

so i finally found the perfect gif for me when steffen got voted out: http://wwwimage.cbsstatic.com/thumbnails/photos/files/asset/10/00/43/94/fbb11cd670f6f1e8_survivor_33_hannah_cant_even.gif BUT YOU KNOW WHAT https://49.media.tumblr.com/6d3fbe5cd1f6e6ad5bf57ac766bf44eb/tumblr_nmiv55gTcN1qhktavo1_250.gif Ashley and I pulled our asses up and got ourselves working and got a group together of all the girls  and the plan is to vote for Brett. I hope this goes as planned cause this would totally flip the game and itd be iconic. As usual though i dont feel safe until tribals done so WE’LL SEE http://49.media.tumblr.com/0a76f378bc9b81ab8012f9ba6558f009/tumblr_nkeojciu3U1sqbiv1o7_400.gif

Brett, The Day After I am very proud of how I played this game. I certainly have things that I feel I could have done better at and moments that might have led to my downfall, but all in all, I did way better than I thought I was going to. I really thought my game was over the second ADRIAN got voted out from AMANDA’s vote advantage, so the fact that I was able to last one more week after that was such a gift. It’s a really fun game and I’m very grateful that I got the opportunity to play it. The plan was to get rid of CHRISTIAN. I felt it was a good move so that no one would be tempted to take her as a goat as well as having it be a respect move for everyone actually playing the game. People tell me CHRISTIAN’s a nice person. I wouldn’t know. She’s completely inconsequential to this game. I really hope she makes the finals now because it will really help me narrow down who to vote for. I’m not quite sure what happened, which is kind of wonderful when you think about it. I figured the other side would pick me as a target. I felt like I had 5 votes coming my way, especially after the other side tried to recruit JAY in the LAZIEST attempt at women’s alliance I’ve ever seen. Unfortunately, two members from my alliance–I’m assuming SAM and TOMMY, but can’t be sure–flipped and voted me out. I don’t have any ill will towards anyone that flipped on me, even if it was KEEGAN or LINUS or JAY. I think most of everyone in there could recognize I was a formidable player and that I should be dealt with sooner rather than later. I actually think that’s my largest game flaw–I made no attempt to dumb myself down. I’m very well written (and humble to boot) and I like to have intellectual conversations about the nature of the game to other people. I think these people liked those conversations, but knew they couldn’t let me anywhere near a jury or near the position to overthrow their grander schemes. I really felt like 6th place was the best I was going to do. I’m thrilled to at least have made the jury. That’s kind of cool. And now the minimal amount of stress I had about this game is now reduced to absolutely nothing. That’s not so bad either. I originally signed up for this game because the last one I played was 7-8 years ago. I was a teenager then. I was a lot more anxious then. I think when you’re younger, you’re more likely to do well because the pool of players is mostly around your age, but it’s an advantage to play when you’re older (unless you’re CAROLINE or MARANDA) because you have so much more going on for you and it’s not the end of the world if something doesn’t go your way. I was more successful in my placement(s) as a teenager, but I feel like my gameplay is stronger now, oddly enough–even sitting here at 11th Place. It’s easier to seem non-threatening when you’re still a child, more or less! Going into jury, I really got along with STEFFEN well and so I was looking forward to spending more time with him. To my surprise, STEFFEN is obnoxious if he’s not “ON” in the game. He’s warm and charismatic to get himself further in the game, but now that he’s out, he has no fucks to give and he’s just saying one irritating thing after another. Oh and there’s nothing WORSE than when someone gripes about twists and how if the hand had been dealt differently, he would have survived and it’s just like: WELCOME TO SURVIVOR. That’s literally how this game works. I’m sure ADRIAN is thinking “If only the swap came one vote later.” I’m sure NEHE & KRYSTEN are thinking “If only both tribes didn’t have to go to tribal council that night I got sent home.” That’s just how it is. You can’t get mad at something that was pre-meditated months ago. He just seems really immature. We are, of course, both rooting for different people to succeed. We can agree to disagree on that. He just comes off as kind of a loser to me now. But that’s the case with most of these players, so he shouldn’t feel singled out. There are nine players left in the game and one CPU level 1 that no one wants to eliminate for some reason. Let’s break them down, shall we? AMANDA is a good player. I would definitely consider voting for her to win if she makes it to the end. She’s been mostly smart with very few missteps. And she’s been alright to talk to. ASHLEY is an average player drowning in her own immaturity. I can’t see myself voting for her to win this game at all and it really just comes down to the temper tantrum she threw when STEFFEN was voted out. “If anyone wants to let me know what just happened, I’ll be online.” How infuriating. Get off your lazy, bitter ass and go talk to people instead of sitting around feeling sorry for yourself! Also, I don’t know why players do this, but it’s beyond annoying when people feign this “Oh I’m so worried it’s going to be me! I don’t know what to do!” Just stop. You’re embarrassing everyone. Go away. JAY is a sweet, sweet girl. And I think she’s playing as well as she can with the hand she’s been dealt. I don’t think she’ll make it to the end, but I commend her for killing it this far. KEEGAN is such a wonderful person. It would take a miracle for me to not vote for him if he made it to the end. I’m worried that I’ll be seeing him next based on the current situation, but I know that he has the strategic chops and challenge prowess to knock everyone else out of the game if he focuses and makes very calculated, purposeful moves. I have so much faith in him. I really want him to win this. LEAH is easily the largest disappointment in my Survivor: Myanmar experience. She’s not playing a good game at all. She just had a massive advantage when the game began of having pre-existing relationships with STEFFEN and AMANDA that presented a pretty uneven playing field, if you ask me. It really jeopardized the authenticity of this whole season to have a “fan” that’s good friends with two of the “favorites.” Had she not had those pre-existing relationships, she wouldn’t have gravitated towards those two naturally, not when they��re on the other tribe originally and not when she wouldn’t have even met AMANDA until the merge. If she gets to the end, it’ll be very hard for me to vote for her as well because she started the game with a rather large handicap. If you set the game on EASY mode, I’m not going to appreciate it when you sit next to two people who had a more difficult road to travel at the finale. My biggest mistake in this game is that I had a major hunch at the very beginning of the game that LEAH was going to work with the favorites because of how many people in the community were well wishing her pre-game. I voiced my concerns to KEEGAN and several others. It fell on deaf ears more or less, but it’s ultimately my fault. When CARLOS was voted out, I could have used social capital to get rid of LEAH and I didn’t because NEHE was a ticking time bomb that favored LEAH and I didn’t want to stick my neck out too far as a leader. Whatever place LEAH ends up finishing, she really shouldn’t be proud. If it’s ASHLEY, CHRISTIAN, and LEAH in the final three, ASHLEY gets my vote 100%. LINUS is a sweetie. And he has so much potential. I really hope that he can rise above his current predicament and cause a major upset. I know he’ll be an asset to KEEGAN and perhaps they’ll find an idol in the coming rounds. For being a teenager, LINUS was very easy to communicate with and has intelligence far beyond his years. I’m excited to see how he plays from here. SAM is one to watch out for. If my gut is correct, he’s engineered the demise of the first two members of the jury. STEFFEN doesn’t have any respect for it because STEFFEN plays a million ORGs at once and has no awareness, but I appreciate SAM’s go-for-it gameplay underneath his calm and mild exterior. He could win this, but I hope he doesn’t Aubry Bracco it–he’s not really seen as this major player among the rest of Toga Tata. He’s a bit too far behind the scenes. I see him, but does anyone else? TING TING is adorable and she’s really done no wrong this far into the game. We never talked strategy, but neither of us really had a use for the other, so it’s understandable. I think she’s becoming a real contender as the days pass by! TOMMY is such a roller coaster of a player. He has personality quirks that made for a very poor first impression with me. When I needed to work with him, however, I found that he can actually be very endearing, too. He’s not all mess and he has some tremendous ideas. I think he was the one who seemed the most conflicted about whether to vote me out or not. I hope he doesn’t regret it coming up. In fact, I’m most intrigued to discover the fates of SAM and TOMMY because their games are the most adventurous of the bunch. A lot of players don’t care for TOMMY at all. If he’s in the finals with anyone that isn’t KEEGAN, I’ll more than likely vote for him to win. I’m wishing him luck. So that’s it! Now I’m in jury with STEFFEN and while I really hope that someone cooler comes to Ponderosa for me to interact with, I would love for it to be AMANDA, ASHLEY, CHRISTIAN, or LEAH. That would be phenomenal. I’ll find out tomorrow evening, it seems. And lastly, to anyone who reads my confessionals and is upset that I referred to you as annoying or “Cookie Monster” or anything else, you really shouldn’t put much stock in my words at all. I don’t know you–and if I’ve used such words about you, I probably don’t want to know you. After this game, I’ll probably leave with one friend or two and not want to deal with the rest of you again. It’s not game bitterness. It’s just that in my daily life, I tend to avoid Disney freaks and people who live in their mother’s basement watching Big Brother live feeds whose greatest life decision is what flavor Big Gulp to get from 7-Eleven. I wish everyone that played this game happiness–I just truly believe for most that that happiness does not include me as a fixture in their life. My happiness certainly doesn’t include them. I don’t expect this to make me popular with the “VL,” but I was never really concerned with being anyone other than myself. The end.