#bc im aromantic and have the need to project the my feelings for you are completely platonic

[csoisoi]

i finished writing a 900 word eulogy for an english assignment and it was for an oc ive been fixating on the past week very superb

[angelfevr]

akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis

[pt: akane kurashiki is (not) allocishet: an analysis. end pt].

okay so we’ve been meaning to write this for a while but havent bc we’ve been focusing on other projects. slight disclaimer if u dont agree w this hc thats fine, just dont be a dick just bc it interferes w ur own interpretation . we all have our own ways of reading the text so. Yeah!! lets get started

so i just wanna say akane is a character i resonate with in a lot of ways, and a lot of what im going to say comes from my and others’ experiences. ur identities and experiences r def gonna affect how u view a piece of work right? 

so when i played through the series in 2023, i initially viewed akane as everyone else did: she’s in love with junpei, and even hced her as bi like most of the fandom. but the more i studied the source material, the more i felt thats not rlly the case?? esp after ztd, like im sorry but i cannot buy the idea that both junpei or akane wanna marry each other. junpei is for another day but in terms of akane i wanna talk abt the idea that she may be aromantic. 

immersing myself in the fandom, a lot of ppl’s first impressions of akane’s june persona is that she was initially gonna be this ditzy girl next door who only serves as a love interest for junpei. ofc that ended up not being the case, but i see ppl say that they only rlly cared for akane after finding out she’s zero. which imo is such a missed opportunity for analysis.

as june, akane interacts with the world through tropes. the first thing she does when we’re introduced to her is fall on junpei. and overall is seen as this nervous girl who wouldn’t harm anyone. she flirts w junpei throughout the game, yadda yadda yadda. when it comes to her identity as zero, she desperately wants a perfect ending where she can be with junpei. its guesswork as to which aspects are true of akane, but i personally see these traits as smth she thinks “kanny” would do. 

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“Junpei: Well, I dunno. Anything. I mean, you're hiding it. How would I know?

June: You mean, like...the number of men I've dated?

Junpei's heart stumbled over itself.

June: Do you want to know?

He had to admit, he was a little curious.

June: Don't worry.

She smiled at him.

June: Only 18...

!?

June: ...Times 0.

June: Yeah... I guess I just haven't met Mr. Right yet…”

“Number of men” is highlighted in green. End id].

of course, bc of her tumultuous childhood and how she didn’t have many friends, she never rlly had experience w dating. but not much suggests she would beyond her own words.

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“Kanny: You...meant a lot to me...when we were kids...

Kanny: I've liked you...for a long time, Junpei... A really...long...time..”

“Liked” is highlighted in green. End id]. 

.

[id: screenshot from 999’s script, black text on a white background that reads:

“"Okay..."

My voice shook as I answered.

It was hot in the room. It felt like my heart was on fire.

6 minutes or not, my heart burned with my feelings for him.

…”

“burned” is highlighted in green. End id]. 

but actions speak louder than words, and she doesn’t go far beyond flirting and declarations of love. in ztd, she doesn’t even make these advances even when she’s trying to lighten the mood or make things right with junpei. the only time being when she speaks with carlos in the pantry. 

[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 

akane: if it was because of me somehow… then this time i need to rush to his aid. that’s what i’ve decided anyway.

carlos: you really like junpei, don’t you?

akane: wh-what in the world are you saying, carlos?! 

carlos: i’m out of my depth when it comes to romance.

end id].

[id: a log of dialogue from zero time dilemma which reads: 

carlos: did you bake heart-shaped cookies full of love for your darling junpei?

akane: oh carlos… would you please stop teasing me… 

june is meant to be seen as the ideal japanese woman, and since performance/identity is a huge part of her character, it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that she’s performing heterosexuality/amatonormativity, by extension femininity (but that’s an analysis for another day). 

akane is also slotted into the role of a mother figure for kyle just as sigma with the role of father. i can’t help but think of the scene in little shop of horrors (1986), audrey sings abt a stable and “ideal” middle class life. i remember watching it thinking it was odd, given that im aro and am not interested in settling down or emulating cishet middle class values. but my friend, who is poor just like audrey and akane, told me that it’s a common occurrence for poor ppl to think this way. to want a sense of stability even if it’s stereotypical. i feel like this applies to akane as well. i also hc her with bpd, and instability is a common symptom for us, so it makes sense for her to see junpei as a beacon of such, of normalcy. he’s rlly the only normal part of her childhood. she wants him to fix her lol . 

[id: screenshot from virtue’s last reward which reads: 

“i pleaded with her to leave, but she quietly shook her head. there was someone very special to her, she told me. he had saved her life once, and she felt her death would help to repay that favor.” end id].

and while we do see oldkane/vlrkane reminisce abt her life w junpei thru kyle, the passcode being jumpydolls, i feel like thats less abt love and more abt the fact that shes lonely, which a lot of ppl mistake that like. love can fix that.. when it rlly cant. not to mention what i said earlier

akane and junpei rarely make physical contact beyond junpei holding her in his arms and hugging. you can of course be a couple and not be that physically affectionate, but junpei is the only one initiating this. also like?? not even an “i love you” when you haven’t seen each other in nine years???????

[id: cg from nine hours nine persons nine doors. junpei holds akane’s shoulder with a worried expression. Akane has her eyes closed. End id].

[id: screenshot of zero time dilemma. junpei hugs akane near the basketball court in the lounge. akane wears a wedding ring on her right hand. end id].

[id: screenshot from zero time dilemma. junpei holds a ring in his right hand. white text on the bottom reads, “well, remember back in elementary school your dream was to wear a ring?” end id].

this is actually a common experience for aros who dont realize aromanticism is even an option. i remember when i was a kid, i’d have daydreams of getting married and dating ppl but when the opportunity actually came, i was uncomfortable and rejected it. 

i feel like junpei’s proposal and akane’s acceptance were reckless of both of them, and probably not even signs of true feelings. junpei’s arc is abt regaining agency, and akane’s is abt control (hashtag cinematic parallels), so it makes sense this would happen. both wish they could return to their childhoods, hence their emotionally immature attitudes + tendency to reminisce abt the past (junpei is counterphobic to this though and eventually gets over it in vlr’s timeline, though akane continues to act this way going forward). poor decision making is a sign of trauma after all. 

i mentioned how akane (and junpei but again. Another story for another day) subverts gendered expectations w her personality. aro ppl (as well as lesbians if u wanna go for a lesbian akane reading) tend to feel disconnected from their agab bc yk we arent straight and like a cishet woman liking a man is a sign of womanhood according to Society............ so like what if ur a girl who likes girls? or doesnt like anyone??? what does that make u??? (again, this could either be a trans reading or a lesbian reading)

anyway my point is. i think its more interesting to read akane’s interest in junpei as her wanting stability and a normal life, esp given that she is traumatized and was once poor. i feel like fluffy junepei fanworks make their dynamic very one-note and lack what makes their dynamic intriguing. but hey!! thats just my opinion as an aro person and how i prefer to interpret it 

[gutsfics]

Tobias should have been a canon LI. Where is the Open Heart Book 3 rewrite that the we need? If someone ever kickstarts this project ILW style, I will be the first to donate. I was rereading the series. I got to Book 3 and I had to stop. The characters deserved better. The series deserved so much better. The Open Heart fandom deserved better. There was so much more that PB could have done with the characters if they cared about the player experience. OH was one of Pixelberry's best series and they let it die in the most disappointing way possible. Anyone who is willing to give the story a better ending deserves the Choices fandom's support. It's been ages since we have had a real romance arc on this app.

im fine w Tobias not being a canon LI as i personally headcanon him as aromantic & have him in a queerplatonic relationship w my LOA mc, Reigan, but like other than that HUGE agree

and now i'm gonna use this ask as a reason to talk about what all i would change of book 3 lmao thank u <3

so first of all, there's really no reason for Harper to be part of the diagnostics team besides "whoah oh noeses Ethan is talking with his ex whoopsie oopsie i hope he doesn't fall back in love with her!!!!!1!!111!!!" (which goes nowhere, iirc MC doesn't ever talk really to him about their jealousy) and a few nice friendship moments between her and MC when Tobias and Ethan are being dumb at each other (like when you can choose to side w either E or T during an argument OR ask Harper if she wants to get coffee- i genuinely love that part so much). so i would change it so that instead of the opening on the diagnostics team being because Baz is leaving (which also had no reason to happen), but because Ethan took too long to find a replacement for June

imo it would have been more interesting if Bloom had used Ethan taking the whole 3-month closure of Edenbrook to decide on a new team member as an excuse to try and get more hands on with the DT. so like right after Ethan, Baz and MC sit down the first day back he should have just showed up w Tobias & made that new rule about voting on cases. i did like the feud between Bloom and Ethan though, the writers just majorly dropped the ball there. and kept dropping it the whole book.

I'd also remove all of the parts where the MC just straight up ditches work to go play with their friends. it felt so wrong that the MC fought so hard to get to the place where they're at just for them to blow of work every five seconds bc Jackie and Sienna want to go shopping or Bryce wants to drive a fancy car or whatever. or i'd like change it so it happens on days off or after their shift is over.

+ the diamond scene in ch1 where MC and their friends are enjoying all of the amenities that Bloom added for employees, I would have loved the option to be more wary of them, a lot of them seemed like a distraction, like the video games in the breakroom

like imagine ur surgeon being late to ur life-saving surgery bc they were too busy playing mario kart or whatever

i would say there should have been another Big Important Disaster but honestly Rafael has already been through enough with the first two book's Big Disasters being somewhat focused on him

also the fuckin uuuuuuh. patient suing Ethan over medical malpractice plotline?

100% should have been Ethan's fault.

having Naveen actually be the one who did it feels kinda.... racist??? a little bit????? like god forbid PB's Specialest White Boy do something wrong and face the consequences for it

i have more qualms with this book but i am gonna be honest: i straight up do not remember most of the book. it was such a nothing end to such a good series

i did like being able to do that team building exercise w jackie's group. Dr Gary Garison, my beloved, i'm so glad i got to see you for one single scene this whole book

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

33 andd... 50?

33. Come up with the best way to ask someone out, right now!

.....yeah i got nothing 🤣

50. Any arospec headcanons?

*SLAMS heavy folder down on table* RIGHT

1. Dani from Sense8 - Aroace

daniela my babyyyyy i have literally no words problematic fave she is an aroace person who is VERY sex favourable and she’s in a straight up qpr with lito and hernando in canon and she’s so fucking important <333

2. Sir Leon from BBC Merlin - Aroace

literally what is there to say... that is a man. he is aroace. i’ve seen him be called straight before even tho he’s literally the only knight where attraction/relationship to a woman or anyone else is not even slightly suggested ik he’s boring but that’s entirely separate to his orientation xx

Tahani Al Jamil from the good place - Grayromantic Bisexual

my ICON the way her romantic relationships are usually a way for her to feel valued and she recognises this and works on it and she has a happy ending that does not involve a partner in any capacity and it’s so SUBVERSIVE whether she’s arospec or not but i gotta project xx

Kala Dandekar from Sense8 - Demiromantic Demisexual

kala didin’t want to get married bless her. kala went on several long rants about amatonormativtiy and was EXTRMELY salty about the notion of giving up a career to marry and have children. girl fell for wolfgang fairly quickly bc of their instant deep emotional connection thank you sensateness then the finale is her realising she’s actually in love with her husband too and having a massive poly demi crisis darling im so sorry i love you but it is fucking HILARIOUS 🤣

The Doctor - Aromantic Asexual Aplatonic spectrums (also genderkdsfklglhl) (but none of it bc they are an alien!!!!)

I HAVE DECIDED. mayyybe they are varying degrees of each depending on regeneration or maybe it's just how they show it but just... the way they experience relationships and how they will leave people behind and not think to pop back.... they like having company and spending time with friends and depending on regeneration are very affectionate and some people they do bond more deeply with and they don't like being left (it's the rsd) and they NOT do well on their own but... they just need someone? idk they tend to move on quickly and not look back and as long as they've got the tardis and the freedom to travel and at least one nice person to run with them show them the sights, they're all good <3

Morgana Pendragon from BBC Merlin - Aromantic Lesbian

it feels so wrong to hc her like this when she’s the literal embodiment of the aromantic stereotype - cold, beautiful, suggestive demeanour, her lack of capacity for love emphasizing her evilness- but at the same time i can’t leave her off this list, and she’s very much an aromantic lesbian before she ‘turns evil’. i can’t see s1 or any other season her being interested in romance, even if she’d stayed ‘good’ she just wanted to be able to be herself and for her friends to be safe.

Samantha Carter from Stargate SG1 - Aromantic... Heterosexual? maybe??

this is a recent one i galaxy brained the other night and the reason why samjack always felt a bit beyond just ‘they’re in love’ finally fell into place *checks notes* ten years after they became my first otp. n e way yeah she’s aro and doesn’t know it and ends up with an increasingly shitty series of men when she already has a perfectly good qpr she’s very happy with and i will make a full post about this bc she deserves it <3

All the female royalty in BBC Merlin bc they deserve an aro club <3

SORRY but this mithian quote in particular just... SCREAMS pining aro struggling to accept themselves under amatonormativity <3

Michael from The Good Place- Aroace (+Agender!!)

which is GROSS 🤢 by the way, kissing is GROSS 🤢🤢You just mAsH yOUr foOd hOLeS tOGeTheR, they're not 🙅‍♂️ for that!!

he makes me feel seen 🤣���🤍🖤

[mikarchive2]

you don't have to answer this publicly i just wanted to share some solidarity/advice wrt the crush thing: i know that the charisma of a confident performer is literally insane. a dj (😞) had a crazy hold on me for MONTHS bc she was so outgoing and sure of herself/her art. however the other side of this is leaning into your own feelings of smallness, social ineptitude, and lack of belief in YOUR art. it's a dangerous type to have!! but in my experience having obsessive crushes on these types of people, it can be extremely painful and un-fun when you treat their art as more important than yourself and they act that way too. my best advice is to seek the things you like about your crush in yourself and other people (pretend you're charismatic for a bit! try to spend time with people whose traits you really admire!), and it helps reduce the height of the pedestal you might put them on as well as the severity of the potential fallout when the crush or relationship ends.

so lemme quote an ask polly selection that encouraged me to maintain my individuality in these relationships: "I used to date men who were obsessed with their creative projects. After a while, I realized that I didn't want THEM. I wanted to BE them. I thought being close to that energy might be enough. I thought that being loved by someone who was willing to give himself completely to the creative process was enough. I met a musician once who was consumed by his creations. I put him on a pedestal. I had so much crazy lust for him it was almost stupid. But it wasn't him - I hardly knew him - it was his focus, his total involvement and belief in what he did, that made me crazy. I wanted to have that kind of passion for myself. I SHOULD'VE BEEN CHERISHED. I refused to cherish myself. It was easier to pretend that all of that magic and passion belonged to someone else, and that I had to ask permission to gt a little taste of it."

i know you know this, but you are more than the woman who wants someone to win! it's a delight to see someone you like succeed, but not at the cost of prioritizing yourself. idk if you needed to hear any of this but on the off chance you did i hope it was helpful!

thank you for such a kind letter ❣️ i can see yr a bit concerned abt my taste in people which is so cute and i appreciate the attempt to protect me but also ... you dont have to worry about me lol ! i am almost aromantic i value my freedom and independence very much and if my partner prioritized their art more than me i probably wouldnt mind 😐 being the center of their life would actually feel so suffocating to me . i appreciate your and heather havrileskys advice but we all experience romance very differently and personally im just looking for a slightly toxic dyke relationship with a problematic power imbalance and age difference right now ✌️

[letsfluxshitup]

FLUX YOU MAD LAD YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!!! THE MARRIAGE CRACKFIC HYPE IS REAL AND THE REALITY DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!! i rly wanted 2 send u an ask as soon as I got the ao3 email but i held myself 2gether and actually read the current content like a Normal Person so!! This’ll be disjointed and incomprehensible but we’re both up at midnight right now so </3

Okay. Right. First of all: I love how comfortable ur writing is!! Like I know I’ve commented on it before but Techno n Quackity are just Very Comfortable with one another and there’s no stilted sort of ‘oh but it’s platonic’ clarification needed! They just genuinely feel safe in one anothers presence and that is wonderful <333

Also,, the description and use of the ‘mutually unrequited’ tag is ENDLESSLY amusing 2 me like yes,,, that’s so them,,, how did I not connect the dots before. Ur literally a genius

I love Mr. Quacks :]] his indignant protectiveness of Quackity that Big Q barely seems to notice? Him quickly registering Techno as a safe person bc of Quackity’s concern for him? Wilbur having issues with A Literal Chicken, Somehow? Mr. Quacks is my new favourite character in the Dream SMP sorry kings that really is how the cookie crumbles

I’m very satisfied by the fact that u let Quackity talk a little bit abt his issues with Schlatt!! And the way you write dialogue is so natural?? Like, Quackity doesn’t rly convey his specific issue super well bc he’s never been great at the whole feelings deal, but it’s super clear he’s trying to get across the emotional manipulation (even if Q doesn’t rly recognize it like that) and Schlatt’s obvious abuse of power over Quackity as his president AND husband. Very proud of him for his efforts :,] and Techno’s automatic response being to just go murder the man? Like YES KING LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know how you manage to do it but you make me more invested in their friendship w/ each thing you write :,]] Quackity’s very easygoing demeanour and active expression of affection through physical gestures and pet names pairs v well with Techno’s more stoic personality that gives way to casual shows of affection and fierce protectiveness of the people he cares about?? Your characterization is literally just a dopamine factory I will never get over how good you are at dynamics aasndmdkfkd

Also I love how ur including more SBI dynamics!! Your Wilbur is friendly but still like. Vaguely Unhinged and I appreciate that you didn’t completely get rid of his Issues(tm) in favour of the family dynamic. You woke up 2day and gave us both! As a treat. And I really love how you write Tommy as a whole :] he’s a bit of a brat and the teenage vibes are ever so present but you do kind of want to give him a hug anyways. I love and care them,,,,

You’ve sparked my thoughts abt your various quacknoblade AUs again!! And also dormant thoughts abt the TMA quacknobros AU I thought briefly abt where Techno was Jon n Quackity was Martin,,,,, honestly ur ability to create brainrot is insane ily king

- Saturn 🪐

OH SATURN I GENUINELY BLEW KISSES AT MY PHONE WHEN I REALIZED THIS WAS FROM YOU. you have such a distinct way of sending asks that I knew it was you right away actually it's really funny amksmdmdkdkd ilysm

Also WOW CALLED OUT YEAH ITS MIDNIGHT YEAH WE'RE FEELING INCOHERENT ❤️

ALSO THANK YOU;;; I channel my aromantic energy into my fics by just not registering things as romantic in the slightest ❤️ I am unstoppable ❤️

Ok wait it's kinda funny bc I feel like at a time I was like "gotta make sure everyone knows this is platonic" but now I've reached this point where I'm just "if you don't get it that's on you" KSKSKSKSKDKKDF

YES THE MUTUALLY UNREQUITED TAG;;; I saw a post abt it on Tumblr, I think I tagged it as #marriage crackfic bc that's literally what it is listen;;; it fits so fucking well oh my God

YEAH YEAH MR QUACKS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I was a bit stuck on writing for a while and then iwnas like "wait what if quackity befriends that chicken from the creepcident" and now we're here skskmdmdmdmfk

ALSO YEAH WILBUR AND MR QUACKS S RELATIONSHIP IS V IMPORTANT TO ME

I'm really really glad you like the dialogue abt schlatt. Tbh I think that's like, one of the oldest parts of the fic. I've been writing it on and off for a while now and that was one of the first things I wrote, and I still absolutely adore how it came out. Idk! That bit of dialogue just came out fucking Perfectly for me and I'm still very :]]]]!!!! About it and I'm delighted you like it too!!!!

ALSO YES TECHNO MURDER POG <3

EVERYTIME YOU COMPLIMENT MY DYNAMICS I WEEP;;; I'm just very into characters who are Very Different getting along super well ok. im super duper in love with big stoic and chaotic small and that dynamic lives in my head rent free so you KNOW I gotta write about it as much as possible

YEAAAH THAT BIT WITH THE SBI BOYS WAS A JOY TO WRITE I REALLY REALLY LIKE IT A LOT;;; also yes! Wilbur gets to be unhinged <3 as a treat! AND YES FERAL TOMMY IS SO GOOD. HE IS A TEENAGER AND HE IS READY TO THROW HANDS CONSTANTLY. I imagine rough housing is a very popular way to show affection in the sbi household and tbh I'm a bit feral as well. projecting on to tommy by making him wrestle with techno. KAKAKKSKDKDKF

Ilysm your asks are always such a treat to read I'm very :>>> rn!!!

Also idk anything about TMA but I am looking intently!!! Share your infinite wisdom!!!

[ayy-spec]

Anything to Add?

The final question in this survey was a write-in section for people to leave any additional comments. 113 people responded.

Important/Particularly Interesting Comments

• I hope this goes well for you because you seem nice and if you have any advice for new to the community 15 year olds like me, don't be afraid to share because I'm trying to embrace my sexuality as much as possible but it can be hard when I don't know where to go or turn to to find what I'm supposed to do and where to ask questions and just fully embrass this part of me and it can be hard when I don't even know many if any aspecs so representation is great and it is helpful to hear your experiences and how you handle certain parts, so just keep doing what your doing because it is making a difference [note: 🥺🥺😭]

• i often consider myself more as just aroace rather than aro and ace seperately so i prefer seeing the blue and orange aroace flag over the individual aro and ace flags

• I don't really shorten my identity often with aroace, only when im feeling very romance repulsed and its been a while since I felt romantic attraction. I am a pan-demiromantic asexual. My pan label makes me feel more connected to the lgbt+ community bc it feels like my nonbinary and intersex status doesn't count either. I know I belong in the queer community, but the lgbt+ community is so sexual orientation focused.

• Thank you for having a wide variety of labels to choose from in the options!! I don't see the term aegoromantic very often on things, it feels nice to be known I guess haha

• Thank you for this, i recently started thinking about being in arospec and it was so relieving, all this time i thought something was wrong or maybe i was broken. I'm still trying to learn more about it, and I'm grateful for people willing to teach and help

• didn't realize I hadn't experienced sexual attraction until I finally did and was like "OH, no wonder all my other relationships felt like I was playing pretend"

• I dont often tell people I'm gray aroace. Not because of shame or it not being "as important" (I'm a gay trans dude) but I think because I just feel its a very intimate part of myself, as well as my romanticism and sexuality (in terms of like asexuality) feeling as though it doesn't always need a label. I'm fine just being myself most of the time, a lot of labels can be tricky for myself I think. I'm happy the label exists nonetheless though because Its nice to know I'm not the only one who feels like this.

• I'm queer! But if I'm getting down to the bones of it, I'm pan/ace. Still relearning how to be proud of that, after The Grand Clusterfuck years back.

• even though I would be considered to have an alloromantic orientation, alloace isn't really a term I feel any strong connection or attachment to

• i'd like to add that i do consider myself alloaro and use that label openly but i'd also not consider myself 100% allosexual. i'm questioning my sexuality but even if i do end up feeling more solidly ace-spec i'd still use the alloaro label

• Idk who else does this or if this is interesting enough to write down, but I thought I would! I use Aroace as a label. Other, smaller labels inside that would probably fit me better! Aroace feels too big, like it doesn't *really* define exactly who I am. But at the same time, I prefer using it because more people know what Aroace means (at least compared to myrromantic and myrsexual). I use Aroace so the public can define me. I don't typically use it around my close friends 'cause they already know my idiosyncrasies and where I really am. They already made their own definitions for me, so I don't have to make one for them!

• I'm still figuring myself out, so I leave myself at the blanket terms and hopefully everything'll work out in the end

The rest of the responses are below:

Comments Alerting Me About Typos (that I was then able to resolve)

• There's a typo in your "sexual orientation labels" question, because you have Aroflux listed and not Aceflux, but I didn't want to confuse things so I put Aceflux (which I do use) under Other. I also am polysexual (I flux between polysexual and asexual but I am always aegosexual) but didn't know if I should but it under Other anywhere since it's not an acespec label. I consider my polysexuality tied to me being aego/aceflux though, which is why I mention it here.

• the sexual orientations options are the same of the romantic ones ( for example, there's arovague and arospike in the sexual cathegory)

People Clarifying/Expounding Upon Their Own Identity/Experiences

·  to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

• I’m still a confused gorl and I really only know that I don’t like sex it sexual acts but I do like romantic and sensual acts

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• I'm also animesexual and fictosexual (and romantic I guess but I don't like using the SAM for myself).

• I have never seen most of these labels, haha, I expect one of them is the one I always forget that's for being aro due to past trauma but people always assume it's romantic/sexual trauma so I don't use it and thus have forgotten it...but that's the essay I'm not usually up for writing: was biromantic but then had several awful life events on top of each other and had a complete breakdown and have been aro since. Unclear if it's permanent but it's been 14 years now. [note: I believe this person is thinking of caedromantic]

• I tend to use the word ace more than asexual because it's shorter, but I don't feel more favorably about one than the other.

• i can't tell the difference between platonic vs romantic attraction, and am unsure if people i have "liked" in the past was romantic, platonic, or a fake stemming from peer pressure.

• Also Gender-Neutral/Agender

• I’m gray-aro but identify more with being biromantic even though I know I’m aro-spec. As for sexual orientation, I’m just completely ace xD

• The fact I'm still trying to figure out my gender makes it harder to pinpoint exactly what my orientations are :( but I usually say I'm queer, and if it's safe: Bi Ace, and if I can get more specific: biromantic grey-asexual

• I also use a platonic label (biplatonic). I use it not in a friendship way, but more like in a QPR way.

• Thank you for doing this! My identity on the aro/ace spectrums has shifted a lot over the years and while I’ve just settled on aroace and queer for the most part, this community is so diverse and under appreciated. People who find joy in/identify with micro-identities are valid and deserve representation!

• I'm still figuring out my romantic orientation but it's looking less allo by the day lmao

• My romantic label is very fluid, but in terms of sexual labels, very sex repulsed Asexual

• Content with just Aspec cause it's difficult to pinpoint anything but cool with both asexual/ace and aromantic/aro

• I think of my romantic orientation as halfway between aromantic and homoromantic

• I'm a polyamorous ace, if there'd be a way to include that sometimes that'd be neat :)

• I am still questioning my identity

• I used to identify as 100% ace but now I have no idea other than that I seem to be pan-ace in some way shape or form so my identity is ???people???

• Sex/romance repulsed and I have aesthetic attraction

• to clarify: i'm unsure whether or not i am demi or aceflux; so i use graysexual since both labels technically fall under that as an umbrella term.

Queer Rights

• Trans rights, baybee 🤠🦂

• I just hope a-spec and aro-spec people will experience less negativity and hate this year <3

• Aspec rights!!

• aspec rights, baby

People Being Nice to Me  (I appreciated this thank you everyone!!)

·  :)

• Have a good day

• Uhhh, cool survey, nice to see a lot of labels.... good job! Nothing I have to add, it was great

• Have fun chief, thank you for your work

• Thank you for creating!

• thanks for the survey! I don't know too many aspec in person so I love participating in things like this about the ace/aro community!

• Thank you for what you’re doing

• just hi :)

• thanks!!

• I really love your blog! Reading your posts always makes me happy :) [note: thank you!]

• Good luck, have a nice day !

• I hope you're having a good day :)

• you're lived and valid af!! have a great day!!!

• Thank you for all your hard work i really appreciate it ☺️

• Drink some water Right Now OP

• Nope, :> hope the best for you.

• Cool survey, 10/10 would survey again.

• 💛

• Have a nice day uwu

• Nope! Have a nice day!

• Thank you for making pride flag edits! They're really nice! [note: thank you!!]

• nope, but this is really cool!!

• ❤️

• Have a good day.

• I think this survey idea is super cool! Definitely a great way to see what sort of aspec people are on tumblr :)

• You are doing the lords work

• Thank you for asking us.

• good luck!

• This is really cute idea :)

• I hope you're having a nice day!

• Good luck in your endevours!

• Thank you for making our community visible!

• Have a good day :3

• Have a good day!!

• Keep doing great stuff!

• Thank you for all the positivity I get from your blog! It's super helpful, keep it up :) [note: thank you!!]

• thanks for doing this. recognition is always nice

• Have fun <3

• Lots of love 💛

• This is a cool project, thanks for doing it and good luck! :)

People Saying They Love Me (and I love you, random a-specs)

·  i love you OP!!!!!

• love you, hope you have a great day

An A-Spec Person Being Rude to Other A-Specs

• If you enjoy sex with your romantic partner then you are not asexual

A Person Who Is Not A-Spec Being Rude To A-Specs

• sweetie im sorry that you're so insecure that you feel like you have to make up new identities to feel better about yourself. if you are a lesbian or bisexual please know that you are welcome in the community, but other than that making thousands of microlabels like this makes a huge joke out of what was once an important and respected group. nobody takes us seriously anymore because of this shit. does labelling your identity like this really help you with anything? demisexual and fraysexual and all this are just fancy words for normal human feelings that everyone has. there is no need to microlabel it.

Other

· [variations of “no” (12)]

• not sure that helps lmao but still hope it does. all the best

• Axolotls (or as I like to call them, asexulotls) are amazing and I love them [Note: the man in question]

• Sorry, I can't remember the names of any blogs that do edits

• Ok random but the colors of the aro/ace flag? The blue and orange one? They’re gorgeous.

• I'm not so sure if I should use the aroace flag, I feel comfortable using both aro and ace flags, but I don't like the colors for the aroace flag :c [note: these are in chronological order, it’s a total coincidence that these comments are together]

• Curious to see where the survey goes

• It would be cool if you could also do some aplatonic-spectrum edits!

• there were fully half of the terms on that list that i had never even seen before. like, everything below litho down to no label was entirely new to me. at some point i will look into those! (but not right now, my brain is full enough at the moment)

• actually had to look up the majority of these orientations. Thank you for the opportunity to learn!

• Gonna reblog and follow and hopefully learn a bit more, about others and myself

Note: The only comment that is not listed in order is the first comment, which I put at the top because I found it the most important. It’s so important that kids and teens have space to explore their identity and learn about themselves. The reason I made this blog in the first place was because I was 19 and working on figuring out my gender and sexuality. Now that I’m a bit older and understand things better, I’m so glad that I’m able to help people in this way. 

I make it a point to be very openly queer in my life and at work because I need LGBTQ+ people, especially youths, to know that we’re here. I’m lucky that I live somewhere that I can be visibly queer and speak about it openly. We are everywhere, and there’s more of us than you think!

Something that I really like about the comments at the top is that they show how diverse we are, and how people use words differently. Some people feel like they’re more aroace than aromantic and asexual separately, and others consider their romantic and sexual orientations to be completely different things.

I definitely relate to the person who identifies are myrromantic and myrsexual with their friends but just says aroace when speaking with people they don’t know as well. I believe a lot of people use different words depending on who they’re speaking with.

[nocvil]

hewwo cuties !! im bon or bonbon or bonners u kno it !! im here to bring u my tsundere bitch of a boy bogum who is played by the wuvewy joohoney ( f in the chat for his mental health i love my Husband ?? ) !!  bogum or bo is a hitman who also takes care of his cute and lovely mother that lives with him in his apartment. below the cut i will explain him some more about him but bc of possible triggers, i won’t go too in depth. if you wanna know more about him, i have links on his blog ! onward !

tw: mentions of parental death, injuries, and elderly illnesses.

( lee jooheon + cismale & he/him ) ʟᴏᴀᴅɪɴɢ ɴᴇᴡ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ … soo bogum is applying for unit 11. it says here they’re twenty-six and are a hitman. i guess they’ve lived in seattle for six years and i swear i’ve seen them around the market only browsing and never buying like every scorpio i know. they spent most of our tour on google news and i thought i kept hearing the amity affliction playing softly from their phone. i wasn’t sure they’d apply because before they left all they said was, “ i’m not sure if this’ll work out for us. ” ♡ penned by bon, 22, est, they/he

uhhh fair warning i’m reusing his intro from his previous group but it will be edited to fit !

soo bogum or bo i guess. twenty-five / 25. cismale. he/him. hitman and caregiver to his 52 year old ill ridden mother.

he has been in seattle with his mother for 6 years after moving away from seoul at the age of 20 to get away from the short crime life he lived there and also to kind of get a fresh start after his father’s passing. his mother was paralyzed at the waist down and the event was most likely what led into her starting to get very mild dementia.

a little insight on his mom is that basically she is never seen without bogum although bogum can be seen without her. i like to believe she is pretty well known just because bogum likes to get her out to socialize with everyone, although what degree people know her is up to whoever. she is super sweet lady when she is focused and on track and loves to socialize, meet new people, and hang out anywhere with her son. bogum is her caretaker, basically, providing her with everything she needs in order to survive.

bogum projects an outward appearance and personality of a guy who is caring, kind, and would do almost anything for someone he likes or trusts. but he can also be that guy who kinda freaks you out if you catch him at the wrong time. overall he is definitely an everyday guy who just has these weird flaws. everyone can be kinda creepy at times (:

his “official” personality written on his stats page is this:

a living oxymoron. bogum can be the sweetest person you’ll meet and also the creepiest man you’ve ever been approached by. he has a winning smile and would help almost anyone in need, but also wouldn’t hesitate to let you know he can’t stand you or he doesn’t like you. most people might see bogum as a caring person given the devotion he has to his mother and he pushes his personality that way. bogum really is a kind person, he always will be, but he is also someone who could really care less. while he is outwardly sweet, it is also not very hard to catch him off guard. if you asked someone about him, they would probably say that he is a devoted individual, but there is something off about him that is hard to put a finger on.

he is pretty set in stone because i’ve wrote him a few times. he was 1000% inspired by investigation discovery ( i mean his url is from a show on there )  and you can check out some of his pages on his blog. he has a stats page and an insight page that explains stuff that might be more triggering. i might make him a plots page. idk. probably not bc im a mess jasldkf.

speaking of, some plots i would luuuuuv for him are past friends from hometown seoul, perhaps a best friend?, someone who thinks he is fishy, someone who helps take care of his mom, anyone who could be his neighbor could have a cute plot, one sided romances ( bogum is aromantic, please keep in mind ), and idk, really almost anything. i’m not too picky as long as you respect his occupation and sexuality.

also a lot of ppl tended to love having plots with his npc mom so i mean feel free i guess LMAO

i would also like to say that i know his occupation may be triggering and because of this i don’t plan on really writing anything too detailed out unless the mun is comfortable and it is tagged and under a read more (: i respect that nobody rlly wants this scary shit on their dash because i wouldn’t either if i wasn’t playing someone like this. please don’t let his occupation keep you from plotting with me though ; ~ ; there is so much more to him than his job. he doesn’t go out hitting people 24/7, he rlly leads a pretty normal life.

i can’t wait to plot with you guys !!!!!!  let’s fuckin’ go !

[dogstarblues]

it HAS occured to me that the reason i havent found someone is bc of my incredibly high standards that have been set by this one person i love who has treated me the best ive ever been treated up to a certain point for YEARS and i refuse to accept anything less than that like i REFUSE to accept people arguing w me abt transness and what qualifies as trans and i refuse to accept people who dont accommodate my disability (sexually, emotionally, even just slowing down when walking with me) and i need someone who is interesting and clever and i actually need to feel drawn to someone like i cant just date anybody i need to feel drawn to them almost physically like i need a gravity between us i just have no interest in anything less bc its what i deserve.

like i was super interested in this one woman but when we hung out i realized she just made me fucking tired bc she didnt know how to just stop and be still and she was really pushing for physical activity. and she has, on multiple occasions, pushed me on my limitations, like she said i should come to her show and and i said i avoid concerts because it activates my psychosis and then she said "you should come" like completely ignoring what made me uncomfortable and my limitations. like if i say it activates my psychosis that clearly means im gonna be thrown into an episode. and its a bunch of incidents like that that happen between us like she thinks i should be an organizer and i told her i dont have the energy for that, like physically and mentally (i cant even finish my sentences out loud half the time) and again she pushed me on it. when i say i cant do something thats the end of it. even if i werent disabled that should be the end of it. i shouldnt be pushed.

like i deserve better than that.

so now its like where can i find a woman as accommodating and funny and smart and clever and interesting and talented and someone who treated me with absolute care and supported my creative pursuits/projects and reads/watches everything i do/make as the one i fell in love with?

i suppose thats what im actually worried abt that ill never fall in love with anyone else but her. that shes it for me.

like before her i thought i was aromantic. and now im asexual. maybe i actually am aspec. maybe im grayromantic. i just have no interest in most of the people i go on dates with. i feel nothing at all. and im not monogamous, i know i can like multiple people at once (i have before and i dont get jealous) and have wanted multiple relationships like im a relationship anarchist/communist (as annoying as that term is) i dont believe in one person fulfilling all of my romantic needs. and i dont believe in hierarchy like i know what it is to be utterly devoted to someone and just come second in everything and im not fucking doing that to anyone else. i believe people fulfill different roles and needs like i treat polyamory as if people were pieces in a puzzle that make a more complete picture. people fit with others in different ways.

idk

its just like. fuck.

and EVERY TIME i go on a date im hoping this is the time, this is the one that can be my partner, this person can love me maybe and each time im just empty. just hollow. am i a hopeless romantic? am i stupid? am i stupid????? am i fucking myself over?

[mukhannath]

Ngl but i relate alot to ur posts about science lad and i have a crush on this guy and hes in like half my classes, on the speech team and in the musical with me and now im questioning if im actually aro (i think im demiromo but i honestly prefer the aromantic label but hhhh thats another story) but anyway i support you and your endeavors with science lad.

yeah same hat actually i used to identify as demi but i dont think thats whats up right now because i barely know this boy actually

i mean ive known him for a year because he was in my field lab a year ago but back then we didnt talk that much bc we were working on different research areas for the most part but once he sat next to me in the van and  hmm i totally gorasplained to  him  about pakistani culture and he was like oh i know actually ive been taking punjabi lessons for 3 years so yeah this white boy is more pakistani than i am wtf but yeah i wouldnt even call us friends, probably aquaintances only, weve hung out like once outside of class (n got super drunk that wuz fun) and im sad this semester i only see him once a week unless he like, finds me while im at work bc he has class in the building i work in sometimes but maybe thats a good thing because if eel like im gonna pass out when im around him anyway point is we dont have a ‘strong emotional connection’ so i dont think im demi 

yeah so anyway i was thinking about this  while i was gone and yeah this definiteky feels different than before. i think i liked someone twice before this (both girls too??? What???????? unimaginable) and both situations they were like, my closest friends at a  point of time so thats demi as fuck (specifically demiromantic, i definitely didnt have sexual attratction then). but when I think back on that it seems very logical and thought thru like, i guess a want to be very emotionally close with these  ppl respectively but when i thought about it more i guess i just wanted to be really good friends with them and i was projecting some sort of heteronormative need to fulfill a gender role at the same time. 

anyway this time thats not there and this seems definitely more a physical response like……… i mean 2 weeks ago or so when he sat next to me in class was when i immediately got ALL those butterflies in my stomach which was a completely new thing for me… and yeah that keeps happening when i think of him (a lot!) and its getting pretty annoyying . and yeah so i asked some ppl who are on e and theyre like yeah thats attraction/arousal or whatever. so maybe im not even ace in the first place, at least anymore, maybe im grey or something, I donno. i mean i definitely dont wanna be fucked but now im at the point where i have to figure out if thats actually me just being sex repulsed because its a trigger for me or if its legit still part of my orientation. 

tldr i want a bf 

[thebookofmormonn]

I totally agree with your elder price hc, but i feel like he's the easiest to project onto for people? If that makes sense? Bc he's been through some shitty situations and he's a comfort character for many. That being said hi i hc him as aro bi, opinions on that headcanon? I just wanna see from a person who's not me if it actually makes sense canonicaly or my need to project is getting in the way sorry ill go now

He is definitely very easy to project feelings onto. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t do it myself. (Why do you think this is so important to me lololol)

I just wanna make sure you guys aren’t using his trauma as reasoning for headcanoning him as asexual because that’s a really shitty thing to assume. It makes me really uncomfortable.

Aromantic bisexual… hmmm. I haven’t thought about that.

In all honesty my idea of Kevin involves him experiencing attraction strictly to males, there seems to always be more chemistry between him and McKinley than him and Nabalungi (and you’d have to be pretty gay to not experience any sort of attraction to that beautiful lady. im kidding obviously)

aromantic isn’t something I’d ever considered for Kevin.

It’s an interesting concept though. Considering he really doesn’t seem to have feelings for anyone other than himself lololol, I could see it. The feelings that he does show to others do seem to come off as more platonic than anything else. So I could see it!

Interesting concept, I’m still pretty dead set on my headcanon of homosexual Kevin but I love the concept regardless!

ALSO GUYS DONT BE AFRAID TO SUBMIT ANY HEADCANONS FOR ME TO DISCUSS LIKE DONT APOLOGIZE OR WHATEVER!!

I’m always interested in what other people see when they think about a character!

Even if I don’t agree, I’ll respectfully take the time to listen and consider your ideas!!