#bc if we cant do that then i really dont see this going further

[bangcakes]

.

[moeblob]

"Him? Oh, you know, he's kind of a loser." - probably everyone except for his younger brother.

Germaine is based on the layer of hell (Dante's Inferno) for material wealth before self, others, and god. So basically very materialistic and possessive of his belongings. Unfortunately, his younger brother qualifies as a belonging in his mind. So he does his absolute best to keep his brother safe and sound and scratch free - which is a bit tough in a post apocalyptic setting but he mostly manages.

Also a fact I just like to mention: he is incapable of lying.

[deus-ex-mona]

such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨

[straycalamities]

im thinking of trying to make it off my own talents rather than sell my soul to a corp again and run my mental health further into the ground

so two of my 2025 goals are:

1. start a merch shop

2. maybe start a patreon

but idk how the nitty-gritty if any of that works. taxes, outsourcing for stuff like keychains or other things, good places for that stuff (bc ive seen ppl mention pollution waste being high w that?), what people want in a patreon, like anything like that

truly open for feedback here because ive always wanted to kinda make my income based on doing something enjoyable and i know thats not always feasible but i want to at least try because for years i always told myself i wasnt good enough or it wouldnt work so ive basically ignored all insight into that world i coulda gotten through the years bc of a quitter’s mindset 😓

reply to this post or reblog it if you have anything. as a seller/patreon runner or even the other side: what you like to see from amateur/indie merch or what inspires you to subscribe to a patreon and keep your sub

or if you really wanna talk the particulars as a seller/patreon person we can exchange discords or some other way to talk extensively

im trying to be super serious abt this bc i have some actual support this time around and i feel really inspired to go for it

for reference: i have my kinda niche id go for. like my strength is very much illustrative stuff and i have some background in graphic design. so idk abt 3D merch like plushies or 3D print stuff but yea

for subject matter itd be stuff im interested in. which i know limits my customers but i cant draw smth i dont care about >_>; but ive already factored this in to tampering my expectations

[lovelyrotter]

okay but i actually kinda wanna know ur take on stridercest being canon compliant O_O <- autism stare

oh hey i am also hitting you with the autism stare. ill try to get my thoughts down in a way that makes sense to more than just me hahaha

bear in mind that im an epilogue lover and i think Meat/Candy are really valuable pieces that further all of the characters and are also hard canon in the sense that we're looking at just 2 post-game universe outcomes out of an uncountable number (the book in the picnic basket representing post-canon fanfic). i think the characters actions in the epilogues make sense and are satisfying to me. yes even jane (i love alpha jane and i will not do her the disservice of 'cleaning her up' w/o showing her work for it. thats not how you depict a character who grew up with fascist programming). i could totally go on a whole tangent about this specifically but thats another post lol we'd be here forever and its also not stridercest

but okay. canon stridercest. under the cut cause it got kinda long

basically it has to do with the cherubs and how their relationships and mating rituals are pretty obviously incestuous leaning even though cherubs dont have the human concept of Siblings or blood family. the cherub who predominates will search across paradox space to mate with another cherub who closely resembles the cherub they predominated which is like textbook Freudian sexuality. theres a lot of Freud and Jungian stuff in HS imo even if im kinda [wobbly hand gesture] at the validity of these theories applied to real life and real people. but theyre super fun tools and lenses to use in fiction and i mean. gestures at all of dave

so the incest aliens cherubs. the whole reason why im talkin about them is bc Caliborn is so incredibly interested and invested in the Striders in particular. caliborn as both Lord English and Lil Cal shapes earth NOT OVERTLY but more so embeds himself in earth society, but again, the Striders lives in particular. dave is full of incest jokes. hes even apparently got a list of his friends arranged in order of how likely theyd incest-elope with each other (thank you epilogues for this amazing factoid). he seems to think about it often enough to, yknow, Do That. have a good solid think about that and construct an organized list about it. bearing in mind dave makes jokes about stuff thats a) bothering him, or b) generally camping out in his brain. hes not even really aware of it most of the time (as we see in one of the openbounds where hes all 'why am i thinking about puppets???' after seeing dirk for the first time in that dream bubble. he is thinking nonstop about dirk at that point and going off his only frame of reference for ANY dirk, which is his bro. his bro who was most likely deeply warped by Lil Cal)

sorry for the long blocky paragraph lol. but now onto the next thing

Caliborn as Lil Cal is the centerpiece in the beta strider apartment. dave cant escape him and beta dirk grew up with him. what the fuck do you do when youre childhood comfort item is also the most evil creature across all of paradox space? if youre a dirk you try to fight it. but how long can you keep fighting something like that. its safe to say that bro was affected by Caliborns particular brand of perversion and sfw kink. i dont think i have to say how insidious abusive and toxic he is about those things. and looking at the truth of beta bro (16yo alpha dirk) you can start to see just how warped beta bro became. beta bro is a false dirk (still a very Real dirk but not the Truth of dirk. beta bro has been toxified and made infinitely worse by an absolute evil influence over decades of life. in 80s fuckin texas. presumably in the system. anyone would be fucked up after that)

so for this analysis/theory im stating beta bro as a false persona. using jungian terms he is apha dirk's shadow

both dave and dirk live with a fake, carefully manicured version of their bros. they live with personas (or shadows of their guardians on the walls. hello platos allegory of the cave). they dont actually know e/o and they dont until the striunion

alpha dirk especially grows up embedded in the Public Persona Of Dave Strider 400 years post mortem and completely alone with unlimited internet access. hes a self admitted expert on his bro and we dont get to see a lot if any of his early childhood but i can hazard a guess at how much he clung to that persona of his bro. he fuckin idolizes dave. he LOVES dave. right off the bat he is in some kind of love with dave and i think if you try to argue against that then thats you slippin. i think youre a fool and have to reread homestuck because i wholeheartedly believe the striders loving eachother is part of the win state

once again this is speculation cause we get barely anything about alpha dave, but from what we already know about him im guessing this bro-persona is

achingly effortlessly cool

oozing masculinity (toxic or not, not really interested in categorizing that although toxic coolboy masculinity IS something the striders contend with & is an important facet in their lives)

a skilled fighter

a dedicated moviegoer (hes a director need i say more. this one is probably the only genuine thing about his on-screen persona)

and now lets look at jake. someone whos grown up on pretty much nothing but movies, whos doubtlessly been influenced by hollywood and its idea of gritty 'main character' masculinity through that, and who also clings to more old-school ideas of manliness (think victorian/edwardian era gentlemanly-but-loves-a-good-scrum kinda manly. moustache twirly with a monocle kinda manly. basically everything that grandpa harley is)

but okay lets look at what jake wants to be. lets take a look at his teenager persona

achingly effortlessly cool (his own 'hollywood star' kind of cool also def influenced by his favourite characters like lara croft who is indeed achingly cool. you see him succeed in inhabiting this hollywood star persona on earth c)

oozing masculinity (the old school manly mans-man kind)

a skilled fighter (two pistoles always. harder to aim cause you cant use a free hand to make up for kickback. that takes skill)

a dedicated moviegoer (again one of the only genuine parts about his persona. his questionable-to-wretched tastes aside. but bearing in mind that the SBaHJ movies are intentionally bad which is what makes them loop around to good. such is the nature of intentionally 'bad' art. jake fuckin lives in this perpetual bad-good art loop. okay enough with the art tangent keep focused man cmon)

because dirk has obviously way more contact with jake i dont doubt he sees through jakes own (admittedly way more flimsy) coolboy persona but the point still stands i think. different flavours but the same kinda guy. dirk has a type and i dont think its a stretch to say that hes looking for aspects of the bro-persona he grew up looking at in other boys, much like the winning cherub looking for the one they lost in the cherub theyll mate with

also wtf is with dirks obvious boner for dave chasing him across paradox space to decapitate him huh?? the last few sentences in Meat are about that very thing. he wants to fuc fight dave sooo bad. haha remember how the cherubic mating ritual is one of the most violent and long running spectacles in paradox space? i sure do

[nvrsaidiwasinurcloset]

reader comforting sad ethan?? like could be something his dad was suggesting/saying and ethans really frustrated. had prob been avoiding girlfriend! reader for a bit bc of the whole plan thing. hes prob reconsidering it all bc its been the happiest hes been in his LIFE and he feels like a shitty bf for the shit abt to happen. but he obviously cant talk abt it so he tries to shut her out, which doesnt work clearly. its up to you if you wanna include smut (tbh dont see dom! ethan existing here) but definitely just angst to fluff! this boy needs a hug ):

Okay, hi! I was about to go to bed when I got this request, and just HAD to write it. No smut, I thought it was better without it. I hope you like it:)

Everything We Need - Ethan Landry x Fem!Reader

Summary: Your boyfriend is feeling guilty about being Ghostface, and wants to do whatever he can to protect you.

A/N: I LOVE THIS. There's just something about sad Ethan that makes me love him even more🥹

When Ethan met up with Quinn and his dad, he felt sick to his stomach. The plan that had been in the works for a year was coming to fruition, as two wannabe Ghostface’s had met their demise. He really wanted to back out. For the first time in his life, he had someone in his life that made him want to get up every day, and that’s been weighing heavy on his mind.

“Ethan, are you listening?” Wayne asked, Quinn rolling her eyes.

“He’s probably thinking about his girlfriend,” she scoffed, as Wayne’s face got even more serious.

“You need to keep your head in this. Don’t you let some little bitch keep you from doing what we’re all here to do,” he said, scanning his sons face. “Richie would never let me down.”

His dad always used that against Ethan. Richie and his dad were so close, while Ethan didn’t get the whole father-son bonding experience he craved. That’s why he agreed to go along with this plan in the first place. He wanted his fathers love so badly that he was willing to kill for it.

“I know, dad. I won’t let you down,” he said, as Wayne started to discuss the plan further.

“Wait, does Ethan’s little girlfriend have to die, too?” Quinn asked, as a lump formed in Ethan’s throat.

“Shut the fuck up, Quinn!” Ethan yelled, as his dad stood there, thinking about the best way to respond.

“She might. I don’t know yet. You might want to distance yourself from her. If she finds out, she will have to die,” Wayne said, as Ethan’s eyes started to water. A single tear slipped down his cheek, quickly wiping it away with his hand.

“Ethan, I don’t think I can count on you for this. Your head is obviously somewhere else, as usual,” he said, shaking his head. “Why can’t you be strong like Richie was?”

The rest of their meeting consisted of Ethan getting berated by Quinn and his father. He knew he needed to keep you safe, so he decided that maybe he should put a little distance between the two of you. He felt like shit that your friends were on the literal chopping block, and he knew how badly this would hurt you if you ever found out he was a part of it.

He ignored every text you’d sent him for the last few days. He declined every FaceTime. You were really starting to worry about him. Aside from the worrying, your heart hurt, because you’d just taken his virginity before he stopped talking to you. You couldn’t help but wonder if that had anything to do with why he pretty much ghosted you.

As you were on your way to Sam and Tara’s, you sent Ethan another text asking if he was going to be there. You hoped for a reply, but you never got one.

You sat around the living room with Anika, Mindy, Tara, and Quinn when Chad walked in. You waited for Ethan to walk in, but he never did.

“Hey, what’s up, guys?” Chad said, taking a seat next to Tara.

“Where’s Ethan?” Tara asked, knowing you wanted the answer.

“Oh, he was going to come, but he decided last minute to stay at the dorm,” Chad said, before looking over to you, “He didn’t tell you he wasn’t coming?”

“No,” you whispered, as Quinn rolled her eyes. She couldn’t stand you and hoped that Ethan wouldn’t have taken their dad’s advice. She wanted nothing more than to make you one of her victims.

“That’s really weird,” Mindy said, a confused look on her face. “Maybe you should go check on him.”

“He ignores me every time I try to contact him,” you said, “I don’t think he wants to see me.”

“That’s definitely weird because he won’t shut up about how much he misses you.”

You were so confused, but you tried to ignore the urge to go see him. Maybe he was just going through something and needed space, but you still thought it was strange that he didn’t tell you what was going on with him.

As everyone got ready to leave, you pulled Chad to the side.

“Is Ethan okay?” you asked, as Chad shook his head.

“He’s always talking about you, but he isn’t sleeping. He’s barely eating. I don’t know what’s going on with him,” he responded, a little bummed that his friend wasn’t doing well.

“I think I’m going to go see him,” you sighed, pulling your jacket on.

“I’ll be there soon, I want to hang out with Tara for a little bit,” he said.

You nodded as you grabbed your phone and started the walk to his dorm. When you got there, you knocked on the door, hoping that he was home.

Your mouth dropped when you saw his face as he opened the door. His eyes were sunken in, he was very pale. He looked like a shell of his former self.

“Baby, what’s going on?” you asked as he gestured you in.

He sat down on his bed beside you but didn’t want to speak. He didn’t want to put you in danger.

“Please talk to me,” you said, tears welling up in your eyes.

Hot, fat tears started to flow down his cheeks. You pulled him close to you as he sobbed into your chest.

“I don’t know why you want to be with me. I’m worthless,” he cried, your heart shattering at his words.

“Baby, why do you think that? You aren’t worthless,” you said, a few tears slipping past your bottom lashes.

“I’m nothing. I’m weak. I don’t deserve you,” he was choking out his words between sobs as your fingers ran through his hair.

“Ethan, I love you. I love you with all my heart. I don’t want you to talk about yourself like that. You’re perfect the way you are,” you whispered to him as you kissed his forehead.

“No, I’m not. My dad always compares me to my brother. He’s always been the golden child while I’ve been the black sheep of the family,” he said, your nails gently dragging across his scalp as you tried to soothe him. He’s never mentioned his family, and it really pissed you off that anyone could make this sweet boy feel this way.

“You’re always golden to me, baby. You mean so much to me, and it breaks my heart that you feel this way.”

In that moment, everything clicked in Ethan’s head. He knew he didn’t need his dad because he has you. Someone that loves him unconditionally.

“What if we just leave?” he asked, sitting up to look at you.

“Why do you want to leave?” you asked, taking his hand in yours.

“It isn’t safe here. I don’t want anything to happen to you,” he said, his eyes pleading with yours.

You started to think about it. All classes have been cancelled for the last week. Most of the students have already returned home because of what happened to the guys from the Film Studies class.

“Where do you want to go?” you asked, smiling at him.

“I don’t care. I want to get as far away as possible,” he said, standing up. “I’ll grab what I’ll need, and we’ll go to your dorm next.”

You helped him grab the necessities, noticing things you knew he’d need that he didn’t seem to care about in his current state. He grabbed stacks of clothes, piling them in his suitcase.

“Can you sit on this for me so I can zip it?” he asked, as you giggled. You did what he asked as he sighed in relief, ready to get your stuff so you could get the fuck out of the state.

You walked out of the dorm and went around the back of it.

“Wait here,” Ethan said, running over to the dumpster. He pulled the robe, mask, and knife out of his backpack, throwing it away.

He was smiling when he came back over to you, looking like the normal Ethan you fell in love with. He picked you up and spun you around, before kissing you.

“I love you,” he said, as he sat you back down and his forehead rested against yours.

“I love you, too.”

Once you arrived at your dorm, you grabbed everything you needed in a matter of minutes. Ethan was deep in thought as he sat on your bed.

“You having second thoughts about this?” you joked, as he shook his head.

“No, there’s nothing more that I want than to get away from here with you,” he said, placing a kiss to your forehead. “Can we take your car?”

“I was kind of hoping that was the plan,” you laughed, as you double-checked the room to make sure you weren’t missing anything. “Let’s get out of here.”

Your hand was in his as you walked through the student parking lot to your car. Once you made it there, Ethan asked you to get in so he could put the luggage in the trunk. You thought about how Chad mentioned that Ethan hadn’t slept in days, so you decided that it’d be best if you drove.

He started to feel uneasy, so he felt around under the bumper of your car.

“That stupid bitch,” he muttered, pulling off the tracking device Quinn must’ve put on your car.

“Okay, we’re ready. I just need to run by the ATM before we leave,” he said, as you looked at him, confused.

“Uh, my dad has experience with finding people, and I don’t want him to see my card transactions wherever we end up going,” he explained, as you nodded.

You pulled up to the ATM as he handed you his card and told you the pin.

“How much?” you asked, entering the pin on the pad.

“Let’s get two thousand for now,” he said, as you turned to look at him.

“How much money do you have in here?” you asked, your eyes wide. It’s not everyday a college kid pulls two grand out of their bank account.

“I have a lot. When my mom died, she left a lot of money to me,” he said, as you rubbed your hand against his thigh.

“I didn’t know that babe. I’m sorry,” you said, withdrawing the money and handing it to him.

As the two of you crossed state lines, he finally stopped looking behind him. You felt a little nervous that he was so concerned, almost like he thought you were being followed. The further you drove, the more exhausted you started to get.

“We might need to stop soon,” you said, Ethan’s tired eyes looking you over.

“Okay, let’s take the next exit. We can get a hotel room for the night,” he said, as you nodded, a yawn slipping out.

Once you got to the room, he crawled onto the bed. You helped him take his shoes off before you snuggled up beside him.

“Thank you,” he said, as he laid his head on your chest.

“For what?” you asked, starting to relax in the bed.

“For loving me as much as you do.”

[arsonkoobi]

taekooker to jikooker: my personal experience.

this is merely how i felt and all the things i saw while being a hardcore taekooker for almost a year and a half. if you get offended, im sorry but the unfollow and block button is right there, i dont mind. i love taekook themselves, but i can no longer look at them in the way i used to. now they genuinely look like best friends to me. people change, and their perceptions and views on different aspects of life change. thats what happened to me.

I first joined this fandom 5 years ago in mid january 2018 through my friends. taehyung was my first ever bias, so most of the bts related yt recs i had were mostly of taehyung and ot7, and occasional ship videos among which taekook was the most prominent. me being a curious lil unsuspecting lamb, clicked on one, it also helped that my friends were taekookers as well so i dived pretty deep into the rabbit hole of taekook. im gonna be writing my thoughts and experiences on shipping taekook at different times of the year. i dont remember every single detail clearly (like this was 5 years ago) so forgive me if i sound vague at times plus this will only be a summary. without further ado, lets start, shall we?

february-march, 2018

by this time, i already watched quite a few taekook analysis videos, i also came across a few tkk_lives' videos(i think i came across her vids like much later but i just included it here) as well as other deluded channels. i fell even deeper into the rabbit hole. i thought taekook were the epitome of boyfriends silly in love, i felt like they had the best chemistry and that they were the ones whose ship actually made sense. i feel so embarrassed to admit this but one of my rather major reasons for shipping them was how good they looked tgthr🤦‍♀️(im a changed person now i promise). now i realise many tkk analysis channels tend to heavily edit things to make it look like theres something going on, overanalysing things to no end, it made me see them as if they were closer than they actually are, and as if theyre hiding something, but it was really just heavy and clever editing that forces your mind to get convinced. it was quite literally manipulative. plus back then, i was rather immature and hadnt even been in a rltnshp yet, so i blindly believed whatever they said. i believed every narrative and every theory they put out even if i knew lots of them didnt even make sense. they constantly also put out the jealous jungkook/taehyung whenever the other breathes next to another member..as i now realise, thats one of the biggest toxic traits a person can have. they were always pushing tkk as a toxic relationship without even knowing it(or just ignoring it). i also do not like jikook analysis vids where they are portrayed as the same territorial mfs who cant stand the other interacting with anyone else but himself. bc thats literally pushing their relationship as a toxic one and making them look toxic, and i would rather not do that.

march/april-september, 2018

i only watched taekook vids and funny bts moments for a long while as a baby army. i didnt watch official content very much, i ddint even know how to watch official content..i didnt know bangtantv existed yet💀 this tkk analysis watching continued for around 4 or so months after i became an army before i took an unintentional break from them(analysis vids) and i went on twitter. twitter, was so much worse(as i now realise). i didnt have an account at that time and learnt to browse on twt without one(it doesnt really let you do that anymore). at first, i found nothing weird or unusual and i enjoyed lurking on twitter, but slowly i started to see the ugly side of the community. i found multiple accounts directly or indirectly hating on jimin. i was weirded out. very weirded out. i was quite conflicted but..i only thought of it as jimin haters who were coincidentally tkkrs, maybe i refused to see tkk shippers in a bad light? probably, unfortunately i cant remember much and as i said, i was immature.

october-december, 2018

i stumbled across gcf in tokyo somewhere in october, i think it was in a fanwar on twitter and a jkkr said "at least we have this" or sumn along that line and put a link to gcft . idek how i didnt see it earlier. immediately after watching it, i felt..weird, conflicted, insecure. insecure about my ship. it seemed so romantic to me even then. but ofc i didnt let myself give up immediately, and i searched interviews + info about it, i found tkkrs saying vminkook were supposed to go tgthr and jikook only went bc they had a few days off and tae didnt. that gave me a lil bit of security and i held onto that thread of security and refused to believe or even hear out the actual fact(which i will come to later). as you can see, i was a stubborn mf. inside i knew that even if tae not having time off was the "only" reason behind jikook's japan trip, it was still unusual and suspicious to go on a trip with only your "bro" when said "bro" has told you and the world multiple times that they wanna go on a trip alone with you, when the hotel room you're staying at with your "bro" has a see-through glass wall for the bathroom and when you make a whole love confession in the guise of a travel log for your "bro" while your boyfie is waiting for you at home.

in conclusion, i was very insecure.

did i give up? no, not yet. we're getting there.

so as a masochist and out of curiosity caused by insecurity, i searched up jikook videos on yt, thinking "there's no way they could ever have more chemistry than taekook 🙄" - when i tell you i was wrong as fuck, i mean it. i was HUMBLED. the chemistry and tension between jungkook and jimin was undeniable. i felt uncomfortable watching some certain moments, felt things that i didnt feel while shipping taekook, saw things i didnt see in taekook.

i was confused plus the sinking feeling you get when you've been too loud about what you think and your opinions but then it turns out you were a stupid ass bitch.

there was a plethora of jikook vids, and i think my first jikook video was from Made in Busan, ig it was the "serendipity" analysis? back then it made lots of sense to me, but now it looks slightly overanalyzed (i still believe "serendipity" is very much connected to jikook tho). i slowly got more introduced to jikook in general. this mainly occured in like the first week of october and december as i had my boards in november.

december/january-february, 2019

so its been more or less of a year since ive become a tkkr, gcft is still in the back of my head screaming at me. and then jikook drop another bomb. that is, 2018 MMA.

this..was just, just..i cant explain it in words. jungkook had every bit of his attention directed towards jimin, they were giving each other loving glances, jimin giving jungkook a flying kiss, jungkook giving jimin a finger heart, jungkook subconsciously massaging jimins nape..it was just so domestic and coupley. i've never third wheeled so bad in my life. i felt like i was interrupting something by watching them. imagine how hyunjae next to them felt😔✊not to mention how it very much looked like jungkook was saying "남편"[ nampyeon] meaning "husband" and "형의 남친"[ hyung-ui namchin ] meaning " hyung's boyfriend" in their conversation after jimin pointed to himself and jungkook (forgive me if the spellings/romanizations are not accurate enough, im not fully fluent in korean). plus, after jungkook said it, jimin smiles and shyly looks down..LIKE??

watch from 31:00 to see for yourself. im not kidding.(p.s i love this video so much)

i was bamboozled. i was shocked. i was frustrated. i was feeling stupid. i was begging for taekook to drop something mindblowing or sumn that would regain my secuity in the ship and i found some moments during other award shows but, it didnt feel the same. to me it was really looking like taekook had boundaries and limits between each other, the limits that apply when you're good friends. but with jikook, i couldnt see how their gazes towards each other could be passed off as anything platonic, how their actions+body language could ever be seen as platonic.

so what did i do? did i give up? oh hell no im stubborn as fuck. but we're getting there.

i ignored every jikook moment and brought my focus back on taekook, i started watching analysis and moments again. in a span of a few weeks, the security around my ship had improved after pretending that i didnt feel like a stupid mf after MMA 2018. haha. it sorta worked lol. sorta.

march-may, 2019

these were my last months as a taekooker.

after all that shit, all i wanted was more taekook moments to make me feel better about myself. and i did get quite a few. however, as i said before, they looked like they had boundaries. i couldnt look at them exactly the same.

i was busy in april with my class tests, i doubt i had much time to catch up with the boys. so when the tests ended, it was most likely in the last week of april or the first few days of may.

we all know what happened in the first few days of may, don't we? in case you don't, this is what happened.

surprisingly, i clearly remember the first time i got to know about it.

it was in class, i just arrived and then one of my friends and i start talking and she goes [this convo is all translated from bengali]

"hey did you see what jungkook did at the latest concert?"

"no, i didn’t, what did he do?"

"he went and literally sucked on jimins ear!"

i was shocked once again, my eyes went wide, my heart did a backflip..all that shit. i didnt believe it at first.

"don't joke around like that, you're being absurd" i said.

"im not kidding bro, he sucked jimins ear in the rosebowl concert last week, ill send you a link too"

when i got back home, sure enough, the link was there and i saw jungkooks ear nibbling in all its glory, albeit a bit low quality. but no doubt he took that ear into his mouth and i knew it.

surely i must've given up now? no, but im this🤏 close we're almost there i promise

i went online and found lots of tkkrs denying that jungkook ever took jimin's ear into his mouth and that jimin's ear only got caught on jk's chin. but..if it got caught on jk's chin then that means his chin was behind jimin's ear, and his lips must have been at least kissing jimin's ear, given that we couldnt see them very well. the lip we could see was the upper lip, which again lead me to be believe that jungkook did indeed, suck jimin's ear.

yeah, my faith in tkk was crumbling into millions of pieces. because i couldnt see how jungkook, being in a supposed relationship with taehyung, could do that with tae's best friend. i sure as hell wouldnt let my partner get away with that, nor would i ever do that myself with someone else other than my partner. even if its to comfort them. it just goes way over platonic boundaries.

i was seriously considering shifting over to jikook by now. but before that, i searched lots of shit up abt jikook.

there i saw an interview where jimin talked about the tokyo trip with jungkook. what i believed until now was that vminkook were supposed to go tgthr but jikook were the ones with time off, and tae didnt have time off. jimin said he told taehyung and jungkook that he wants to go on a trip to Japan. he didnt say he wanted to go on a trip WITH taehyung and jungkook. yall, ive told my wishes to go to japan and turkey multiple times to my friends, does that mean im taking their asses with me? no. mind you, jimin has said he wanted to go on a trip alone with jungkook multiple times in their rookie era. on jimin's bday of 2017, jungkook tweeted a pic of him(jimin) with the caption "Its not over yet.." and shortly after, we find out jikook went on a tokyo trip by THEMSELVES with no staff, no managers and no other members. dropped off at the airport by jungkook's dad and brother and jimin's dad. jungkook paid for everything and put a hell lot of time into making the masterpiece that is gcf in tokyo WITH a bgm of a gay fucking song by a queer fucking artist and showed the fucking rainbow colored ferris wheel at the line "love is a road that goes both ways".

also

its clear who the main model of gcf is.

you can deny the trip being only for jikook, but you can not deny the symbolism and significance shown in gcf in tokyo. saying "jungkook didnt understand the song, hes not fluent in english" - is so small minded and belittling.

saying he didnt show jimin on the parts "boy, im holding onto something, wont let go of you for nothing, im running, running just to keep my hands on you" on purpose is not only straight up denial but also understimating jungkook's intelligence and artistic capabilities, saying that jungkook isnt smart enough to get the meaning behind these words. and just because hes korean. thats fucking racist if you ask me.

then i discovered the iconic osaka vlives, i was convinced. it was my last straw along with rosebowl.

alas, after around a week of denial, i gave up and became a jikooker in mid may of 2019. ive never looked back. over the years they've only given us more and more evidence and i doubt my beliefs will ever change soon.

i hope this was kinda fun to read, i had been planning to do this for a long time. im glad i finally got to say my thoughts out here. thank you for taking the time to read this<3

[dorims]

What kinks do u think Roman has?

I just know they’re weird (and I’d still be into them)

so if i have to be honest, ive never really thought about roman's kinks 🥲 HOWEVER you know how he shamed tom for swallowing back his cum after tabs sucked him off?? yeah he's definitely into that and you can't tell me otherwise.

and without further ado! a little brainstorm under the cut <3

tags. VERY SUGGESTIVE, MDNI, an overall masochistic vibe, degradation/praise, allusions to cheating, impact play, mentions of roman's low self-esteem

a/n. psa im not familiar with writing smut and if i gotta be honest im pretty vanilla myself so...do with that what you will LMFAO

masochism

hes a masochist, we been knew

its pretty much the central theme of these hcs too

degradation/praise

so definitely degradation bc its roman, cmon. but for some reason i cant help but think that he's really into being praised too?

could be wrong but i feel like he'd only let himself be praised after he's developed a solid bond with his partner, and it'd probably go from being degraded to a mix of degradation and praise to full praise in some occasions.

if theres not a smooth transition i feel like he would panic and shut himself out. like it feels too intimate or smth.

cuckolding (controversial)

i think he would like it bc it hurts. like his partner sleeping with someone else is kind of like a slap to the face

a situation that has him constantly thinking 'I'm not enough' and that kind of hurt i think he gets off on bc masochism <3

but thats only maybe with the condition he somehow gets the chance to prove to himself and to you that he is better than the person you're sleeping with

OR he's into 'pseudo-cuckolding' so he likes the idea that you COULD go and sleep with someone but you dont, kinda like what happened with grace and the server

SO MAYBE IM WRONG and he would actually hate this but you know, im trynna brainstorm

phone sex (is this even a kink?)

only the sound of your voice and his,

kinda like the romangerri situation LMFAO

because think about it, this way you dont have to actually see him. that would comfort him in some way because of his low self-esteem and self-image issues. that way you can picture anything you want and not be disappointed with the real thing, you know?

i also think that phone sex (or bathroom door sex????) would help him open up until he grows comfortable enough in the intimacy the two of you are building

love how this are supposed to be smut hcs yet im making them slightly angsty

impact play

i think this might be a little self-explanatory, but yes, getting hit in a sexual context turns him on

only when he is receiving ofc

dom/sub dynamics

he's a massive sub and no one can tell me otherwise

its literally on the show TT

ANYWAY, he's probably bratty at first but then just gives in to your every demand because he aims to please

still likes to get on your nerves though, like a lot and i think thats because even when he's been an annoying piece of shit in bed you still take care of him and that reinforces, in his head, that, sure he's being unbearable but that doesn't take away the fact that you care for him and love him, ya know?

also, he would probably call you mommy/daddy at first jokingly but the it kinda sticks??

freud would have a field day with roman roy

OOC BUT FUN TO THINK ABOUT: vanilla sex

hear me out, ik roman's character is pretty much the personification of the words 'kinky mf' but idk

i think vanilla sex would suit roman SOO much. i think for roman to reach the point of having sex with ANYONE there needs to be a established foundation of trust and respect and perhaps love too

and i know sex doesn't necessarily mean love, but we are talking about a man who's definition of love is pain - like love HAS to hurt for it to be love - and undoubtedly he would twist his perception of sex to fit that same definition of love because love is a branch of intimacy and so is sex, you feel me?

i just feel like it would show roman another side of intimacy. all gentle and kind and giggly sex and intimacy doesn't necessarily have to hurt for it to feel good.

like imagine just plain vanilla sex and its banter and laughter and quips and help me lol

vanilla sex and aftercare would solve all his problems, i said what i said /hj

[kindred-spirit-93]

jazzy!! & apollo

hello yall im back on my bs (biscuit soliloquy) with my wonderful oc jazzy and a modern au i came up with when i opened my eyes this morning lol. u can find a little lore on ma blog under the #jazzy tag :3

--

aight so for context a few months ago while deep in the trenches of my greek mythology obsession i made a minor underworld diety oc who goes by kore or jazzy. shes my favourite muffin and i love her.

and after reading one too many apollo fics here lmao i really wanted to explore his domains (which i find endlessly fascinating bc its all my favourite things in one: medicine art literature) and learn more about him as a god via a character study of sorts.

(ive yet to write anything for them lol but when i do it will be great :P)

--

anyway back to the story they are teachers!! bc im currently rethinking my life choices and having fun imagining what my life could have been like things went differently (11/10 recommend. great for the blorbos). babys first midlife crisis at the ripe old age of 21 lol

so without any further ado, them <3

HHHHHHHHHHHHHH MY BABIES

*slaps hands* aight so context and premise:

cant be bothered to come up with alternative names and clever refernces for everyone so theyre keeping their greek names lol.

not everyone in the pantheon will make an appearance, this aint keeping up with the olympians (until it is)

the setting is vaguely british lol bc its where i grew up and am more familiar with the system and the norms. ish

they teach both primary and secondary school students (this afaik doesnt exist in the uk but it does here so yeah. will elaborate later)

greek mythology adjacent at best i regrettably know very little of the mythos and my one and only reference is theoi. i will do better i promise. as soon as i graduate

in the mean time pls feel free to tell me all about ur fave myths and works and recommend stuff :D!!

--

art stuff, character design, notes

apollo has heterochromia :3 dunno if u can see it but his eyes are olive green (right) and a teal (left). representing the suns reach over land and sea. ALSO FRECKLES >:D

my girl jazzy has the most boring brown eyes ever. no pools of honey or flecks of gold. just good ol dirt brown. *foreshadowing*

short curly hair somewhere between brown and black for her, and floofy kraft singles waves for him XD

jazzy is a knitwear gremlin (like urs truly lol), 24/7 turtlenecks cardigans jumpers scarfs all of it. her hands (and extremeties) are always cold bc bad circulation and probably dehydration. shush

palettes are warm and earthy for jazzy (wow im so subtle) and cool celestial for apollo (and artemis hehe)

so thats mostly greens esp olive, brown and beige and a healthy sprinkle of rose. le aesthetic is forest/ gremlincore for my girl

and lots of blues esp navy and shiny silver and gold for chaotic academia sunshine boi (TIL astroacademia is a thing and like wow)

arts and moodboards and quotes in this century trust

jazzy is of average height (which to me is 160cm hhhhh and apollo is taller at 180cm. do ur own math we use metric in this household)

--

finally concept idea, plot if u will, notes and backgorund info too:

the first thing i thought of when i opened my eyes was literally apollo and his nine daughters the muses. let me finish

i wish i was joking lol it instantly gripped me but alas i had to go to uni and so it stayed on hold and i havent studied more that 3 pages bc im thinking about them

and by thinking i mean going over the same scene in my head and not doing somethinguseful like say expanding lore. as one does.

anyway yes we have apollo the girl dad of all time who has 9 wondeful daughters of varying ages from fist year of uni to toddler

still mapping out details like if from same mother or several relationships. idk what im doing pls respect my privacy at this time

apollo has 2 degrees bc its cool af to me (my dad has two masters and its been on my bucket list since. i dont know why i am the way that i am either) one in nursing and another in english literature (and a masters in translation bc i can)

he teaches english and history tho and the art afterschool clubs. yes clubs plural. i am insane and so is he.

jazzy is a biomed graduate and is currently pursuing a masters in forensic toxicology (sucks that i hade organic chem this would be fun to write) so she teaches bio. probably part time idk.

i will get to the details of lore and what theyre like and their work ethics etc but i is tired and id really like to finish some work before bed lol so goodnight for now and enjoy and feel free to ask stuff ig :3

[hypnostouched]

my friend and i have an entire team of foxhole OCs and its so funny how clearly you can see our ravens bias bc the team captain is a huge riko fan and the Definately Not team captain is a jean fan, and their coach is a former raven

The St Felix Lynxes (we are not american and simply refused to go with a real school)

(This isnt my art but they dont really have social media. They told me to link to their artfight- all art in this post is theirs)

The dynamic here is that 01 (Priore Marino) was the captain and then just. disappeared. So 05(Roman Denar) took over as captain and played the whole last year as captain - and their stuff is set in the fox timeline and theyre from the ravens old district so Denar is pretty excited about this next year because now that the ravens have switched, they have a chance to go further. He's excited for his second year as captain -- and on the first training session of the new year, Priore walks in, demands he strips so he can take his number back and humiliates him in front of everyone

02 (Marco Bianchi) and 08 (Noah Baker) are Priore's backliner bodyguards essentially and make sure Denar does as he's told. Marco disappeared with Priore but Noah stayed (Priore went home to Italy but nobody is sure why. im also not sure why, these OCs are from 2020 and i cant seem to find any note of what he was doing. he did get top surgery while he was gone tho)

Coach is really awful (Affectionate) because being trained in the nest does things to a guy. he's an alcoholic, hes a bastard and he wont let any of his players kill each other but only really stops priore when he makes denar late for practice

Coach was originally a lynx, got scouted into the ravens and did the rest of his collage career there, ended up too traumatised to want to go pro so went back to the lynxes as a coach Priore didn't get into Edgar Allen so came to St Felix because Coach used to be a raven, its the best he can get (priore idolises and resents the ravens)

Some of the others Not including coach i think we ended up with 7 fleshed out players but we wanted them to be a team of 15 (i have other art of 'mine' but its old and i dont like it lmao)

as a team they have the shortest shorts in class 1 exy

We made it a point that Priore wasn't mafia bc we wanted to be slightly less edgy than the books. but there is art like this so idk if we succeeded in that

Team lineup-- 01 - Priore Marino (Striker) (Italian) 02 - Marco Bianchi (Backliner) 05 - Roman Denar (Dealer) (Canadian) 06 - Timothee Yenisei (Backliner) 07 - Alik North (Striker) 08 - Noah Baker (Backliner) 13 - Misha LeBlanc (Goalie)

one day im going to write it and friend is going to illustrate like a light novel, and it will be the most self indulgent project ive worked on

[doyouevenshipbr0]

top 10 strongest nonbenders

ykw. im already here so why not?!?!?!

btw the biggest rule here is who the STRONGEST are. not who my favs are. ok?

so here we go

honorable mentions: ok i dont like putting groups of people which is why the equalists and the kiyoshi warriors arent on here. but they should be!

10. sokka- sokka’s strength was his mind. i love him to death but i think some people really overestimate his physical strength. he was definitely EFFICIENT when it came to fighting but i wouldn’t go any further than that. i feel like since people love sokka (as they should!) they conflate that with his combat ability and tbh i feel like that does his character a disservice. he is the mind of the group he doesn’t need to also be a fighter!

9. long shot- ill be super honest im kind of a freedom fighters hater??? ok not a HATER but i just do not really care when they have screen time. basically what im getting at is i dont remember much of him LOLLLL but like my heart is telling me he was useful and a good fighter. obv his specialty was his archery. but then again he doesn’t do anything to stand out in my mind to make him higher. and i dont remember him really doing anything that’s hand to hand combat.

8. june- so we just dont see much of her but shes got that big sniffer to do like 80% of her fighting for her. i think she doesn’t do much otherwise??? but shes a bounty hunter so shes gotta have some oomph to her.

7. hakoda- ok another person that we dont see MUCH of but we know hes the chief of the southern water tribe and is leading them in the war. and when we do see him fight he slays! we just don’t see it much.

6. asami- literally the 3 fight scenes she has she ROCKS!!!!! but like. why does she…. only have…….. 3 fight scenes…? its so weird. i feel like she is useless when it comes to fight scenes more often than not but idk WHY bc she is a RLY GOOD FIGHTER! her fight scenes genuinely shock me every time bc i forget how good she is. but they hardly show it imo. weird.

5. jet- i was rly close to putting jet at 4 and putting #4 here but HONESTLY the only big feat he has is being able to hold his own against zuko in their 1v1. other than that……doesnt he….. get his ass kicked by everyone else? jet is super resourceful, adaptive, smart, and has great combat skill. he was the leader of the freedom fighters for a reason! i just literally cannot think of a time where he won a fight. am i crazy? idk moving on

4. mai- yeah this diva can throw them mf knives!!!!!! if this show wasnt for kids she wouldve been actually killing bitches but she still gets to use her knives in a cool way! she can go toe to toe with any non bender and tbh a lot of benders too. the fact that AZULA recruits her means she knowssss she can handle herself. she just isnt as impressive as the ppl above her.

3. piandou- a lot of ppl put him at 1 and 2 but i cant do that. he is pretty much THEE master non bender and he is clearly the most skilled swordsman we see in the show. but we dont see him in his prime, and again, im just more impressed by 1 and 2. if we saw more of him maybe i could make a case for him to be higher but the shit that i see numbers 1 and 2 do make him look soft sorry!

2. suki- ugh. love her bad. she is THEEEEE KIYOSHI WARRIOR!!!!!!!!! like. what else do u need me to say. remember that part of boiling rock. when she takes the warden hostage in literal seconds? yeah exactly.

1. ty lee- so. remember when i said i love suki bad? i love ty lee BADDDDDDDDD! she is by far seen as the biggest threat out of any nonbender bc of her chiblocking and rightfully so. like taking away bending. and at her time, no one else (that we know of) could do it. genuinely is such a cool feat and she is the ONLY PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO DO IT!! like do i need to say it again?!?!?! benders were scared to fight her AS THEY SHPULD BE! she wasnt just a threat to benders either bc her chiblocking could temporarily paralyze anyone, bender or not. is that not enough? oh ok she is also the most agile nonbender that we see snd its not even close. she literally moves exactly like an airbender without doing any airbending. she is doing flips and tricks and cartwheels and is being cunty while taking ur bending. and she becomes a kiyoshi warrior. ty lee supremacy forever.

[staarry-skies]

— usagis jealousy during bmc, and if it really is just that? a meta

(read more bc i anticipate this getting very long)

before we talk about bmc lets set the stage a bit: usagi has just defeated the dark kingdom no more than a week ago (its unclear how much time passes btwn the two arcs but i can’t imagine its longer than a week, or even a couple days, as we see usamamo exchange their keepsakes at the end of act 14, something they promised they’d do the next time they saw each other during act 8, which means that this must be the first time theyve seen each other since defeating the dark kingdom, which again, i cant imagine took longer than a couple days) which means she has just experienced: watching her boyfriend die in front of her, being overloaded with a host of tragic memories from her past life (one of them including watching her boyfriend die and killing herself), her boyfriend getting brainwashed, having to kill her boyfriend because there was no getting through to him, killing herself due to the aforementioned trauma, and finally finding out her friends died— sacrificing themselves for her to bring her back. so thats all Crazy we can agree that is crazy for a 14 year old girl to go through? right? okay? good.

now that we’ve agreed on that can you imagine a little girl falling out of a large portal in the sky then threatening you with a GUN (fake sure but she didnt know that originally) and demanding you hand over the overpowered magical artifact you JUST endured all that trauma trying to protect? and then that same girl brainwashes your family? obviously usagi isnt going to trust chibiusa right away. i mean look at what she’s working with, and then when she tries to bring up these concerns no one believes her. i mean sure WE as the audience know chibiusa isnt a threat, and the others think she isnt because they cant see a little girl as particularly threatening but when you look at things from usagis perspective, then OBVIOUSLY she’d be suspicious— i mean she repeatedly refuses to answer any sort of questions (obviously this is not chibiusas fault, shes a scared child and the questioning terrifies her further, but again, think about this from usagis perspective). and again id like to reiterate that all of this is directly after the dark kingdom, usagi hasn’t had any time to heal from those fresh fresh emotional scars Of Course she’s a bit irrational.

now, to the topic at hand, was usagis jealousy really just that? regular jealousy at seeing mamoru spending time with someone who isnt her (even if the person in question was a small child that logically posed no threat to her relationship)?

obviously i dont think so, but let me prove to you its not just simple irrational jealousy but also usagis ptsd and specifically her abandonment issues that are what cause her to react in the way she does.

again, id like to remind the jury of the shit usagi has just gone through and how that all has caused usagi to develop some very serious abandonment issues. we see usagis worst fear(s) represented in nightmare sequences a handful of times throughout the series. exactly twice actually, once in infinity and once in dream and each have the shared theme of her loved ones leaving her in some way. in infinity they turn against her and berate her before ultimately dying, and in dream they’re simply dead. again both times it is very clear that the root of what she fears is abandonment.

these abandonment issues however, first begin to present themselves in arc 2. we even get a nightmare sequence in arc 2 similar to those of arcs 3&4. most interpret this as usagi just being jealous usagi. however really look at it, its not that she’s just afraid of mamoru being taken away by chibiusa, she’s afraid of them both abandoning her. look at what she says “wait! where are you going? dont leave me behind!” (or “wait! where are you going? dont leave me here!” in the eternal edition, i prefer the crystal translation simply because it makes it more explicit her issue is them leaving her alone) if it truly truly was an issue of jealousy why would she be afraid of them both leaving her behind? why say something like that? wouldnt it make more sense to say something like…. i dunno “chibiusa? dont take him from me!” instead?

once again, everything she goes through in arc 1 is a big contributor in this, however recall arc 2 begins with the senshi being picked off one-by-one (all except minako), and usagi can do nothing but watch and it eats her up inside. she quite literally begins to lose everyone dear to her all over again even while the last time is still so fresh in her mind.

and during most of this what does chibiusa do? she stays secretive, doesnt give usagi any information even when usagi tells her she cant trust her if she doesnt. (again i wanna reiterate that this is no fault of chibiusas however its not usagis fault either) so of course usagi begins to register chibiusa as a threat, and again with the information she has + her inarguable connection to the black moon clan this isnt a logical leap in the slightest.

thus when mamoru begins to spend more time with chibiusa instead of her it causes two things to happen. a) usagi is left without the emotional support she desperately needs in all of this (through no fault of mamoru, he completely misreads what usagi needs in this particular situation, he thinks that by helping with chibiusa it’ll ease her stress to have one less thing off her plate, however of course we know this does the opposite) and b) she begins to register chibiusa as a genuine threat to mamorus safety. usagis terrified of losing him all over again when she just got him back. look at this scene, i mean really truly look at it. look at what usagis saying, this doesnt sound like the ramblings of a jealous girlfriend it sounds like someone who’s terrified of losing their most important person all over again. “stay here with me. never go away. ill do everything i can to protect you…” (or “…i wanna be with you. dont go away. ill protect you with everything i have” in crystal, here i prefer the eternal edition again bc i think it more explicitly defines usagis problem) these lines just don’t make sense under the simple jealousy interpretation, what does protecting him have anything to do with envy at the time hes spending with chibiusa and not with her? nothing. shes not upset at that, she puts emphasis on protecting him because thats the true root of the problem, shes afraid of losing him again to yet another supernatural threat after the crystal.

and to close out id like to show everyone the viz dub version of this scene because i think it sums up my points incredibly well, as well as making it abundantly clear what the root of usagis problems Really are, specifically through the inclusion of the line “i wont lose you again”

[moeblob]

Anyway they can change between being tiny and human sized. And when they're tinier they can only be seen by the other fae or their selected humans. So if you just passed Noll on the street while Shavuli was perched on his shoulder chatting away you wouldn't see or hear her.

[wish-i-were-heather]

Any thought on TGG?

YES YES YES YES YES SO MANY THOUGHTS UHM HELLO

okok so i wrote like an essay of predictions and what i thinks gonna happen next on in the notes app on on my phone bc i was camping when i finished reading it so i had no service and couldn't go online and tell people my thoughts 😭😭

uhh im gonna put my main points (spoiler warning ofc also this is gonna get really long)

i think eves whole kidnapping thing is bc of eve (obviously bc like slate is working with her) but because eve wants gray's attention

i cant remember if she knows about lyra or not but still

i just think this because i dont think she would really want anything to do with gigi, just using her bc gray

basically my main point is i think the main plot glorious rivals is going to be about finding gigi (i hope im right and she doesnt get dropped of at home in like chapter three or these will all be incorrect)

when gray finds out what happened to gigi he will flip out. obviously savannah will too probably moreso bc like thats her twin but gray is very protective of them both so he'll freak out like crazy

especially once they inevitably put the peices together and realies why kidnapped her, he'll probably want to kill eve (i'd say not actually but i wouldn't be surprised if he genuinely did. i do so like)

i think that both grayson and savannah will like actually refuse to participate further in the grandest game until they find out what happened to her

and obviously avery and the others arent apathetic so theyre gonna understand and its either gonna be cancelled/postponed

and when they do pause/end the game, they arent gonna tell people why cause that'd cause more drama

omg also im forgetting her name but gigi and savannah;s mom. i feel like she's either gonna be a really big character in the next book or not in it at all, i dont think theres really gonna be an in between.

also xander was really starting to grow a friendship with gigi, so he'd be concerned too.

i want gray and xander to have more "screen time" together and like grow their relationship bc they have a funny dynamic but we dont see it a lot

also i keep forgetting to mention her but SAVANNAH

shes gonna be so worried omg and she will be even more angry and worried than grayson will be

she is going to blame it on avery, i mean she already doesnt like her because she "killed her father" and whatever but just like yk

i have a feeling that the teams from this book are gonna come back

like rohan is gonna be on savannah's side about this whole situation, also like avery and jamie dont like him bc the whole jamesons rib situation lmao so that wont be hard to convince him

and theyre gonna be against avery and the hawthornes because savannah doesn't like her

and then lyra and gray are gonna be on the same side obviously (excluding odette bc idk where she fits into all this)

and not gigi obviously but then knox and brady, theyll probably be doing their own thing??

idk knox is obviously kinda a jerk and i dont like him and hes not in the game anymore

but brady he might try to help gigi? im not sure what to make of him

i feel like each "team" is gonna be trying to figure out what happened with gigi?? idk like i said if finding her isnt the main plot this is gonna be a little embarassing

ok but stepping away from that...

so we've known alice is alive but now thats to odette everyone knows

what did she want tobias to do when she came back? and just idk i have so many questions

WHO IS THE WATCHER???

my first thought is alice but thats too easy, too obvious

for the same reason i dont think its eve nor whoever the heck knox's sponsor is.

what if its this calla girl??? bc brady says shes alive?

why is everyone alive tho tbh first alice then calla, everyone but sheffield sorry sav

UNLESS HE DID COME BACK THAT WOULD BE SO BAD BC HE WOULD BE SO MANUPULATIVE TOWARDS SAVANNAH AUGH

ok anyway idk hes not coming back (hopefully)

i do think whoever the watcher is is the same person who gave lyra the ticket

ALSO KISSES KISSES KISSES I SCREAMED THEY KISSED SAVANNAH AND ROHAN AND LYRA AND GRAY FINALLY OMG THEY WERE SO HORNY THE WHOLE BOOK TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH

especially rohan like woah chill theres other people reading this book save some thoughts to yourself

but overall i loved it and i need glorious rivals right now

[myyryasever]

Hi! Sorry to barge into ur blog but i noticed ur post abt xenophobia in the fandom thro the hetalia rp blogs and and if im understanding the situation corectlly you were talking about the xenophobia torwards russians, right?

Specificlay, the xenophobia ex-soviet nations people have for russians and how it translates to the fandom (due to hetalia being abt countries) and their portrayal of Russia.

And. U can just ignore this ask if it makes you uncomfortable but i just really wanted to ask this from someone from the other side ig.

But is this hate really that surprising?

I'm not saying its good, its not and many people go too far with it.

But like. Im from the Baltics and at least where im from We seperate russians into two groups : russians and Russians™. Where russians are normal people and Russians™ are people who still refuse to learn my countries langauge even after theyve been living here since Soviet times and encourage their kids to do the same and constantly act like we (the ex-soviet nations) have abused them in some way.

I have no quarel with russians (tho many do and im sorry for that. Noone deserves to be hated for things they cant control) I grew up in a city with a 60% Russian population so its safe to say ive met many russians who ive gotten along with. (Unfortunatlty due to Russians™ I also have a love-hate relationship with my home city bcs when your constantly told by Russians™ that soon Russia will come and finnaly free the Russians™ from *checks notes* being forced to learn the langauge of the country their living in - and then all of us non-russians will be sorry. You kind of grow up. Scared and angry.)

I Can confidently say that i despise Russians™. And that when i hear the word Russia - I think Russians™.

And i know thats unfair to u guys who dont want any of what ur fucked up imperial government is doing but. it is an Imperial government and Russia is an empire that wants its past conquests back.

Noone can deny that.

Its like Americans having to live in an Imperial gov (tho their imperialism is a tad diffrent). Its not necesarily their fault but when someone whos Nation has been ravaged by America says : "fuck them Americans." And draws their country sucker punching hetalia!America or whatever is. is that really something that cant be sympethised with?

Esp when hetalia fandom ALSO has a huge whitewashing history problem. And. Its sometimes really uncomfortable.

I honeslty cant see hetalia!Russia ever being friends with hetalia!Baltics or other ex-soviet nations around them (i cant speak for others bcs i know what my countries general populaces feelings are and our neighbours too, but further then that would just be news which isn't as reliable).

Bcs he doesnt seem like a guy who could ever take acountability and apologise. Hes a bit too. oblivious for that.

And while some Baltics are more forgiving of that than others (Latvia is way more forgiving than Lithuania for example. Like. If 5 latvians are talking to eachother in latvian and a Russian showed up they would probobly switch to Russian. Lithuanians most likely would not) i think all of them want to punch Ivan in the face at least a little bit. Bcs tbh the obliviousness is sometimes far more grating than Russian nationalism. Bcs if its a Russian™ at least you can know where you stand with them. If its a russian whos oblivous it hurts a bit more bcs like. We could have been friends. But then you went and said something very Imperial brained that you refuse to unpack and now being around you is uncomfortable.

Its like racism. Everyone has it. Everyone has to unpack it. Bcs We all live in a racist sociaty.

If you live in an Imperial sociaty - you will thro your own culture have some Imperialism in your brain.

Most of big western Europe powers have the imperialism brain worm, America has it too. Other Imperial or ex-imperial peoples have them too.

And Russians are included in that list.

But yea sorry for kind of trauma dumping ig. Most of my irl russian friends (or ig its more fair to say culturaly russian) have given me non-answers and i feel that they dont really. Get why im Mad about not being able to go buy vegtables in the market without knowing Russian. And. Ig i kind of want to understand why. Why do even russians who seem like reasonable people side-eye the cultures who have been opressed and constantly russofied when they say their uncomfortable with the russian langauge.

Oh it's okay u don't have to apologize for dumping your thoughts man that's what the asks are for 😭 Yeah I'm sorry u have to deal with such people. In my posts I actually meant the people who are being xenophobic and insulting, not people who are just uncomfortable with something, I have nothing against anyone as long as they're not being aggressive. And yeah it's also just about how normalized it is to straight up insult someone's culture defending yourself with traumas and other stuff like that... I just think that we need to judge people by their political position, not by their ethnicity or nationality

[imustbenuts]

Do u have any personal Kiran headcanons for your own Kiran?

:x... uhhh......

okay. get ready.

my hc is that kiran is, objectively speaking, a demigod of sorts.

if you ever watched re:creators or read some stuff about the gnostics or even some christian studies level of stuff then it might make sense immediately what im talking about.

basically: kiran isn't human in the same way that everyone else in the FE verse is. i hc they're really just a regular everyday person, who happens to be a FE nerd with a good head on their shoulders whisked away into a the FEverse.

but kiran isn't really a god. in shorthand, they're similar to an angel or a deva. they dont partake in the creation of the FEverse (thats intsys' job), but they partake in the indulgence side of it all. and they might be interested enough that it becomes a media they happily consume. and that consumption of the media by the audience in turn supports the cycle of creation for more FE and thus FEverse gets expanded like that

very meta. and like in gnosticsm or even christianity the God that spawns creation and fate is unknowable. they are so unknowable that the creation they spawn doesnt even know if they are god or a creation capable of further creation, and creates more unknowing of the fact that these creation becomes actualized in some form out there in the vast infinity of whatever

so you know like. when we like blorbo/s so much we kinda. put them in situations. because. drama is fun. watching the blorbos struggle is fun. watching them overcoming stuff is fun.

and although i mention we partake as audiences, our combined taste does have influence over the process of creation. for example, awakening wouldnt exist if intsys didnt get desperate and shoved everything they think might appeal to audiences into the game, and thereby gain our approval, effectively granting the right for the rest of FE to exist.

so combine the two above and. isekai. oops.

kiran now looks like a psychopathic admirer of the FE heroes who gets their rocks off watching actual people struggle. woah! the bigger the struggle, the more entertaining it is, the better the payoff, and so it gets really difficult to be even normal about the heroes.

maybe kiran doesnt see FE characters as actualized people in the beginning. maybe they negotiate with themselves about the dissonance of it all. maybe at some point they realize, "this is fucked up, actually. i can't be gleeful about hearing these people talk about their troubles and worries while knowing what fates are in store for them."

but in some parts, that gleefulness doesnt ever go away. the fact that they know doesnt go away. the knowing in itself becomes a curse, and the distance is permanent. even if they like them, bc hey, the reason why they know all these info is bc kiran loves the blorbos enough to read up on all of them!

combined that with them being capable of summoning multiple copies of the same heroes. what does that mean for the relationship they might form? they know every marth, but does every marth know them? can the marths even begin to form a proper understanding or relationship? what if another marth comes? what then?

multiply that by like. 500. yikes.

the only exception to all of these are the Heroes natives ofc. alfonse and sharena is their strongest anchor because they can be normal with them. but, the siblings are not at all immune to the FEverse MC tropey fates that awaits, and so kiran's brain runs on predictive mode trying to avoid this and that.

but despite their best efforts, they cant prevent fate. they cant prevent gustav from dying and protect one of the few people they care about from getting hurt.

so they try even harder. bc their prev world has drilled in the idea of meritocracy so much, the idea of productivity at all cost under capitalism, and gave them the skillset to learn on the fly that failure is not an option.

kiran might have been a person with their life barely beginning back home.

in that world before, their identity was built up over 2 decades by the people surrounding them, blood or otherwise. and everything they interacted with there defined their identity. they can share and talk about things they encountered in games normally. there is normalcy here. logic here.

but once in the world of FEheroes, all that built up in 20 years becomes nothing and twisted. their identity folds into itself. their knowledge is a curse. their friendships are the weight of entire suns. there is insanity here, and indulgence and people with delicious dramatic stories to consume and hear at every corner if they so politely asked. in return, they would offer knowledge and counsel. (they wouldnt, ofc. so no heroes really gets to know them in full. look directly into the sun and be blinded, its kinda shitty like that)

and breidablik gives them power. to control, to contract, to plant suggestions. the heroes know, the specifics of the contract ofc, bc thats ethical. being morally upright to the heroic universe they love so much was never in question. so they play the part of the friendly summoner, let the heroes believe in their goodwill, bc the other option is to be truthful and get close and consume.

alfonse and sharena becomes their everything. jailer, god, summoner, champion, curse, blessing, friends, to protect at all cost, to give themselves to for whatever they desire. their reason for existing and continuing.

and if kiran fails, if alfonse or sharena gets twisted, then, well. the identity of evreyone's friendly cheerful summoner would have to get redefined, wouldnt it?