#bc i've struggled with it
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i genuinely think that ocs become much more real (as in they have a more physical presence in your mind, if that makes sense) if you consider things like whether they have things like stretch marks and body hair. seems like something you guys probably know, but itâs happened to me more than once - the moment i gave cass body hair, for example, he became just that much more real (for the cass enjoyers on main, he is a fairly hairy dude! iâm talking whole nine yards + full beard kinda hairy. anyway.)
so in that name, barring any non-humanoids, hereâs a rundown for that for my gw2 girlies! under the cut for some talk of malnourishment and a lot of body stuff relating to ren, by virtue of her whole story:
nyra, outside from her scars, also has stretch marks on the expected places. she also doesnât bother shaving - her legs are half-scarred anyway, shaving would be a waste of time in her mind.
sanne likewise doesnât bother shaving, but sheâs also blonde, so her body hair isnât that noticeable anyway. i donât think she has stretch marks much, but she does strike me as someone who has some cellulite.
mirka is also in the no shaving camp, but sheâs dark-haired so doesnât really have a peach fuzz. sheâs also white, so itâs gonna show (kinda like how a lot of slav, specifically serbian, women i modeled her after - myself included - will be pale-skinned but dark-haired. thatâs the vibes.) she also has stretch marks because sheâs 9â˛3! sheâs giant! her body had to lengthen and adapt to being a giant as she grew up!
ren,, oh boy thereâs a lot to talk about. first off - she doesnât have scars from her cosmetic surgeries. i do not know what she looked like pre-surgery. the scars were magically removed when she was healing from them. she does keep her stretch marks, because she did gain a lot of weight; when she came to the chantry, she was quite literally malnourished and entirely too underfed. to this day, she is more soft and has a rounder, softer frame. i imagine she also has cellulite as well. but she is mostly scar free, though.
#nero's random thoughts#alysannyra#renira sulver#aisanne bjornsdottir#vladimira jarsdottir#been thinking a lot about differences between individual bodies#and what some people call imperfections#i don't want my girls to come across as conveniently and conventionally sexy in body types#none of them are really skinny#beside sanne who is athletic and very lean!#but they're all some kind of mid-size bc i am mid-size#like. body image is very important to me#bc i've struggled with it#and lord knows i'm getting used to my own body still esp after my baby fat went away#apparently i have high cheekbones??#that's like news to me bc i always thought i was round faced#but that was literally baby far#that's what i mean#i'm.. painfully aware and curious of things i do not know about myself#and this is just my way of dealing with that#and this goes for personality/my whole vibe too.#but that's entirely too much rambling for tags#i just. do with this what you will#i needed to write it
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 5 - I Finally Finished the 2.2 Main Quest Edition
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 6]
#hsr#hsr incorrect quotes#hsr memes#hsr textpost#honkai star rail#honkai star rail meme#honkai star rail memes#hsr meme#hsr spoilers#hsr 2.2 spoilers#aventurine#sunday#hsr sunday#robin#hsr robin#stelle#hsr trailblazer#acheron#black swan#misha#hsr misha#hsr gallagher#gallagher#boothill#if these memes don't make it obvious enough. i have finally completed the 2.2 main quest. and i am feeling. so many things about it /pos#11/10 i couldn't be more pleased. but i also don't have it in me to articulate any of it so here. have more memes instead#was fighting for my life to figure out the alt text for the 2nd one tbh. my struggle saga continues#let's see if any of these have been done yet. bc after posting these i always fuckign stumble on 1 or 2 that have been :/#and i feel bad. like i've stolen the idea? but i literally only see them after the fact!! sigh. there's nothing new under the sun etc etc
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the dialogue choices in this game should be more diabolical
#i love akechi but i sometimes i wish you could bully him like no matter which dialogue u pick it sounds like ur flirting back w him#âi'm going to be completely honest with you. i've always hated youâ why can't u say smt unserious back#like âsorry i have a snatched waist and correct opinions on everything.â or like âur loss lmaoâ#hate playing darts with this bitch bc i play on a steamdeck and i don't have a fucking gyroscope so like#it's trying to replicate how the joycons or pro controller would throw AND ITS SUCKS SO BAD#like i just see akechi get a hat trick every single fucking time with three bulls in a row and meanwhile im struggling to line the thing up#and then after u finish he's like âhmm i see. that's an interesting way to play itâ WHAT THE FUCK THERES LITERALLY NO STRATEGY HERE SMARTAS#I JUST MISSED. IM NOT STRATEGIZING. THERES NOTHING âINTERESTINGâ ABOUT IT.#i hate going to penguin snipers so much i hope i can get this stupid game on switch so i can actually rank up akechi's baton pass#and not waste like 1000 yen every night bc i refuse to not let a party member be on rank 3#akechi fuck yourself why can't we play 501 like we do with everyone else. why do u have to make everything abt this stupid rivalry#im gonna kms i hate akeci and i hate darts#persona 5#persona 5 royal#p5#p5r#goro akechi#ren amamiya#akira kurusu#shuake#akeshu#lotus draws
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look at billy go!!!!!
#saw#billy the puppet#john kramer#jigsaw#saw fanart#my art#my animation#this is what i've been doing in procreate dreams for days đ#ive struggled so hard with this but im gonna make more lmao i have so many ideas#im gonna fill the world with billie art bc i love him so much..
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Meme redraw OG Rayman prefers to choose kindness whenever he can...
V.2 :
But sometimes, you gotta send a message.
#...that's the second time I draw a relatively pacifist cartoonish character choosing violence in the span of 2 years#and he's purple themed too...kinda#uh#it's not much but it's weird it happened twice#oh well#ramon#rayman#it's been a struggle with those pictures bc guess what#I had to format the computer#and I *thought* I had all my CSP materials backed up in a file#but apparently they changed the placement of the material files without a warning and I didn't back up jack on the cloud#I have a few brushes I had put aside just in case and did well to do so#but all the brush and presets I've created are gone...color palettes included#i am an adult i am not going to cry#back up your material files kids#don't be like me#meme
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KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kiseki dear to me#kdtm#*gifs#*#chen yi x ai di#ai di x chen yi#taiwan drama#tdrama#dramasource#tvedit#asiandramaedit#long post#:D#i wanted to gif again bc i've been struggling so. this is what i'm offering to the world skdjfhks
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you know what compels me about solas is he's a watcher. he knows all this shit that could totally help you out, but he lets you figure it out for yourself. keepts his mouth shut the entire time and just observes.
you're telling me this thousands-of-years old dude has NEVER been to the temple of mythal? where there are statues dedicated to him?? he has NEVER been inside a titan? no he absolutely has, and he's saying nothinggggg about it.
apart from the fact that he knows exactly what caused the breach and why, the blights, the evanuris, he also knows a bunch more shit about everything you're doing, and he's just along for the ride while you figure it all out by yourself, which he lets you do btw bc you're a smarty mc smartypants and he trusts that you're intelligent enough to do so. or not. he could probably care less (but if you constantly pleasantly surprise him, he cares).
you could argue that he's verbose, but compared to what he knows - thousands of years of knowledge - he gives us nothing. he's a fae creature. he lets us believe half truths and misdirects us constantly. he knows all this stuff, but never lets us in on it, thatttt intrigues me.
#he's the kind of person who would watch you struggle to pick a lock whilst having the key the entire time and judging your technique#bc he trusts that you will figure it out and that if you don't you don't deserve to go through the door#he's a âyou can do hard things and if you can't lmaoâ type (when it comes to people in positions of power)#and the inquisitor is absolutely in a position of power which means no solas is not giving u the key#he has the patience of a saint bc my chatty ass could NEVER#i'd be unable to contain âum ackhilly u could do it this way sweetie/ um no ackshully dalsih tattoos were slave markings sweetieâ#âUM ACKSHUILLY FEN'HAREL IS RIGHT HERE AND I'VE BEEN HUGELY MISREPRESENTED BY YOUR STUPID PEOPLE - â#i just wanna know what he know#i need to know all of his secrets#bros i'm unwell i fear#solas posting#solas#dragon age inquisition#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#solavellan#solas dai#dragon age solas#solas dragon age
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I've been thinking about soft-resetting my plague doctor characters. Maybe slowly build up Violet and Lucy's relationship and break off Samson, Atlas and Azalea's throuple and turn them into a very committed (and somewhat unethical) medical trio.
Would you guys be alright with that?
#txt#I've been struggling with giving my plague doctors more to do and i realize its bc i kind of went into them unplanned#i was just drawing ocs for fun#but now i really want to draw them again but i need a stronger motivation to do it
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companionship and understanding happy pride from my beloveds!!
open for better quality | no reposts
#kaveh#alhaitham#kavetham#genshin impact#fanart#myart#doodle#at first i was like 'i hope yall don't get tired of me posting so often' and then i remembered this other artist whose art i enjoy-#and they post often too but i love having so much of their art to scroll through so. i'm not worried anymore hahaha#i actually struggled so much w/ the composition here!! but i let it sit for a day and came back to change the frame and now it's fine#and i know i've drawn angst before but when i draw smth like this i always make it a point to depict a kaveh that is exuding happiness#it can be hard to accept yourself and your identity and at least in these pieces i want kaveh to be proof of queer joy#or more specifically. aromantic joy#bc sometimes it can be hard to believe it exists but maybe seeing it can help you believe it's out there#i also don't think i've ever went into detail about my kaveh and why i hc him as arospec? maybe i should do that sometime
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it has to be a joke for you to not see how bad ur same face syndrome is like come on man
ok i'm done trying to be funny whenever i get these. fucking stop this. i don't like it and you're not helping me by telling me something i already know and am trying to fix. i didn't ask you and now i want you to stop.
#i think i know who this is bc you said it in my replies once but you've been in and out of my inbox before and i've had enough#i'm TRYING#i didn't think i did for a long time but now i KNOW i do bc people keep telling me#you think bc i don't post about how much i struggle with it that i don't KNOW#what do you gain by sending me this other than making me a bit insecure for a second#i have no problem taking criticism but when it's unprompted like this i don't like it
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my he/they icon (âಥĎಥâ)
#Mithrun#Mithrun of the House of Kerensil#dunmeshi Mithrun#Captain Mithrun#Mithrun Fanart#The Canaries#Dungeon Meshi#dunmeshi#Delicious in Dungeon#dunmeshi spoilers#Dungeon Meshi spoilers#dunmeshi Fanart#Dungeon Meshi Fanart#digital sketches#digital art#colored sketch#digital colored sketch#panel redraw#manga panel redraw#artkkun#these are all panel redraws bc im learning how to draw him#the top left sketch was the first i did and lemme tell ya#that was a JOURNEY#assume i struggled with the hair on all of these#the sketches are pretty rough lookin bc its been (give or take) 3 weeks since i've last drawn ha ha...
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bunny butt: shiny edition â¨
[op is a femme dyke, he/ze/bun pronouns]
#ok to rb#everyone thank lilith for these pictures coming into existence đĽ°đ¤#also: i took these at 8am so the natural light really washed me out but honestly. i still love them#(also i say the light washed me out bc i have giant ass windows in this shitty small apartment so it's like Floodlights that early in the AM#tbh we dont actually need lamps in here until the sun sets. its like the One part i love about this building. i love natural light so much)#(but also yeah the caveat means my phone camera really struggles adjusting to the light sometimes RIP)#(but im still hot as fuck even with that)#(also for piss kink friends: this is my pissfit. i havent actually gotten pissed on in it yet but its so cute anyway &i WILL!!!)#(i have used it to be a menace :3c also this is the outfit that jiggles video was in mutuals btwww)#bunnyflesh#femme dyke#fat femme#fat femme friday#femme4all#femme bait#butch bait#dyke bait#t4t nsft#t4t dyke#also i hate adding my sexuality and pronouns to these but I've been getting misgendered a bit lately a few different ways so. worth a try ig
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Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 3 - Random Screenshot Edition
[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 4] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]
#hsr spoilers#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr textpost#hsr incorrect quotes#honkai star rail memes#hsr memes#honkai star rail meme#hsr meme#stelle#hsr trailblazer#boothill#jingliu#bailu#dan heng#blade#kafka#jing yuan#yanqing#dr ratio#aventurine#sunday#ough so many character tags. what a mess of a post. as always i sure do hope none of these have been done before!#anyways i've once again spent too long on these and can't tell if they're actually funny anymore but oh well i'm still postin' em#i've once again struggled and done my best to make good ID's in the alt text but i still don't know if they're done right aaaaa#also realized while doing so that i forgot to put Jingliu's face over the tumblr post's icon but i'm not fixing it now! just pretend i did#i don't believe i'll make any more like these bc it's harder than you'd think to find the exact images/screenshots to fit with the posts#but these were most of the ones that i felt needed the extra context anyways. now i'll return to my usual lower-effort edits#oh god also ignore how the sandpit one is flipped. i had to do that to get them on the right sides to match the messages đ
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Apologies, I wanted to make a public note that I've shut off my anons because too often lately I've gotten messages making incorrect assumptions about me and then telling me to do something I'm sure you all can guess. I guess because people know I'm Jewish, but I've been distancing myself from stressful topics to focus on my medical stuff, I don't know.
Anyway, I wanted everyone who's messaged me with personal events to know it wasn't because of them, serious personal messages especially about struggles with one's body are never a bother to me. I'm cheering everyone on and only want things to get better for them!! âĽď¸
People can still ask me with (***) in their message and I'll reply privately.
Seeing (another) doctor tomorrow, wish me luck
#it sucks to take away anons but.#I've struggled with SI for two decades and have been hospitalized for it more times than can be counted on one hand#and i just need to nip that ability to contact me like that in the bud.#recent abdomen anon I'm sending you lots and lots of love#this is also why i haven't been answering asks much. bc was dreading my inbox
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Just to clarify my thoughts (since I've had a number of people ask me about it) re: Job and cursing God. There's a big difference between cursing God as used in Scripture and how we generally would think of cursing at God today.
Cursing someone, in the Bible, has a lot of depth to it. It's not just saying "screw you " in anger, it's got a sense of forsakenness to it. It's the opposite of a blessing, a removal of blessing. If the blessing is presence, your face shining on the person you're blessing, then a curse is absence. In some translations, Job's wife tells him to "renounce God and die," which I honestly think makes a lot more sense to modern ears.
Job says a lot of unpleasant things to and about God in his anger and grief. So do the Psalmists. A number of the Prophets. So can we. God can take it if we come to him with honest expressions of our emotion, including those not-so-nice ones directed at him. I don't think there's anything wrong with getting mad at God and saying, "How dare you, you bastard" when you suffer unjustly. You can say much worse, I think, without sinning, though I don't feel particularly inclined to give examples. But as long as it's an honest expression of your heart, I think you're doing exactly what prayer is for. You're presenting him your heart with an open hand. He can use that. Opposite of love is not hate but indifference, etc.
Job doesn't renounce God. Neither should we. But I think when you're truly suffering, you're gonna have those feelings toward God either way. He'd rather you address them with him directly than try to avoid them. Cursing at God in the modern sense is actually a great way to keep the relationship strong and not end up cursing/renouncing him in the Biblical sense.
#i did try to draw that distinction in the original post but I didn't really go into detail#mostly bc i was trying to be concise and just focus on how the church talks to sufferers#so here's the long version#pontifications and creations#only thou art holy#also side note: there was someone yesterday who responded to that post with the suggestion that suffering is generally the sufferer's fault#and it got worse from there#just an absolutely rank response that had me immediately blocking that person and googling if there was a way to remove someone's addition#idk to what degree that person is an active member of this broader christian community we've got going on here#but if you see that post (and you'll know it when you see it) please as a favor to me don't interact with it#there were some lovely responses and additions to that post yesterday too#but that one made me mad#idk. to a certain degree i wanted to vent#they're blocked now though so whatever#anyway. I've sort of been percolating on these various thoughts for a few weeks#since i went to a really fluffy women's talk on suffering#and now i kind of want to give my version#I'm far from the greatest sufferer in the world. i am well aware of that#but as I've been sick I've just done So Much Thinking and reading about theodicy and struggle with God that i feel qualified to opine#unlike the giver of that talk#anyway#tag rant over#...for now#theodicy
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thinking about how gyu ho was quite literally the light and love of young's life. how when they first meet, he's the one that presses that bottle to his mouth and asks if he's okay when young gets knocked down. how he travels all that way to young's apartment just to put his curtains up for him when he sees how the light bothers him when he sleeps. how he's the metaphorical ray of sunlight on young's face coming through the gap in those very curtains when he's counting all his moles.
how he's always smoothing out the crease between young's eyebrows when he's worried, like he's trying to smooth away his troubles. how his acceptance of kylie is so easy and simple bc he knows that it's something that young has opened up and trusted him with. something that he's never told another soul about, and it's understandably something painful for young to be so vulnerable about. how he tells young that he's still the same person with or without kylie. everything about gyu ho is a balm. the way he soothes and reassures. the way he loves.
that scene when they're kissing in the club for the last time encapsulates the very essence of their relationship imo. young doubting and constantly asking what happens if they argue again once they're back home, and gyu ho answering him so easily and honestly with "then we'll make up!" over and over again bc it really IS that simple for him. simple in a way that it's not for young who is never able to get past the doubt and insecurity of it all.
#love in the big city#idk what this is but i just keep thinking about them and my chest keeps aching and i keep wanting to cry#i have so many thoughts about this drama that i struggle to convey bc it touched me so deeply#the ending broke me up but i also wouldn't have it any other way?? i just hope both young and gyu ho are happy in the end#it's amazing to me how we can become so close to someone and then they can drift out of our lives like it's nothing#i've experienced it myself with so many of my own relationships and yet it still baffles me when i see it happen all the same#text#litbc
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