#bc i wasnt actually all that scared of dying

[jjammy-skies]

I will not live past 40.

(A poem, by me, about accepting being sick.)

I will not live past 40.

I say these words with love

Cause I know you need it.

You need to feel reassured

My mortality isn't a vendetta.

Because I love you,

And I love your attempts

To try to make me feel better.

I hate hurting your feelings when I say

"There is no getting better"

Because you try and try to find

A solution; A goal; Something;

Anything for me to look forward to.

And I say them with grief

Knowing I will spend years

Helping others grieve a body not yet dead,

Because I have already laid it to rest;

In that coffin of a hospital bed,

In the spaces between my books,

And figures and toys,

That all take up space on my shelves;

What I can piece together of my personality,

So I can lay myself bare before you.

I say this with malice

As you try to convince yourself

you played no part in the rot consuming me.

Like there was an attempt to save

This body built of your mistakes.

You refuse to look me in the eye.

It’s enough of an admittance

for me to feel powerful between us for once.

Using my condition as a weapon

Against those who claimed weaponization

When I could not even move.

I say them with understanding

As I understand you don't know yet

What it means to die.

I hate to be the first;

I don't want to be the reason

You must learn about death.

I don't want to feel

Your small hands in mine as I try to explain

What it will mean when I'm gone.

Milestones and birthdays and graduations,

All missed and forgotten.

Anniversaries spent recounting your childhood,

You can't seem to remember a time I wasn't sick.

I say it with acceptance;

As I know who I am,

And all I've loved,

And all I'll leave behind.

In that grief and malice and love;

In those shelves and toys and little hands in mine.

I accept this rotting corpse.

I will show it love.

I will show it grief.

I will show it malice.

I will show it understanding.

I will show it acceptance.

[orcelito]

Actually we r at 6 months now without any major deaths in my life, which is great! That's the longest I've gone without any major deaths since last May! The second longest was 4 months between July and November last year. Wow !

[akc-g]

everything going exceptionally weird lately. got lsuch low bloog sugar i lost my vision for like 20 minutes n when it came back i was unable to orocess anything i could see n was struggling to think for another hr n i still feel really wrird. lost sensation in my arms for a bit too (they were numb n then tight i felt it in my hands n then all the way up my shoulders) n took a nap n it helped but still scary to experience n that that can just happen just bc i wasnt paying attention to what i was eating. fell asleep watching needle park while my vision was still on the buffer n woke up. fell asleep again to scarecrow n dda. i think im a person again

[konckalicious]

me when the feel sad and scared about everything disease is making me feel sad and scared again

cw for sombre thoughts in tags i might delete later tho xwx

[pumpkinsy0]

I would love some GUT WRENCHING MAKES YOU WANNA YANK ALL YOUR HAIR OUT AND LAY ON THE FLOOR papercut hurt/comfort hcs 😄

WOOOO OF COURSE I LOVE HURT/COMFORT

•curly knows ppl would generally go after pony in order to hurt him or at least indirectly hurt tim

•hasnt happened yet thankfully but that doesnt mean curly hasnt tried acting like a dick to push pony away so he wouldnt feel too bad about leaving him

•considering what happened w a lot of ppl near pony dying, i wouldnt be surprised if pony had a bit of paranoia that he was some how gonna get curly killed, curly had to RELYYYY on SOMONE from the gang to listen to him and help get pony outta his head

•I KNOOWWWWW sometimes curly looks like tim when hes mad and ponys already scared of tim and the shepards as is and curly feels like a dick for scaring pony afterwards, curly just out of habit gets to intimidating, hes trying to work on it w pony tho, he’d still prolly do it w everyone else lol

•its also canon the shepards throw things when mad i wouldnt be surprised if like pony accidentally got hurt bc curly threw something like glass and it accidentally hit pony a bit

•chances r he wasnt even arguing w pony, he was arguing w his parents and pony got caught up in it, pony went home while curly didnt even notice and was still arguing, the gang thought curly did it and didnt let pony see him for a good while

•pony has a scar on where he got hit and curly feels horrendous over it everytime he sees it bc he rlly didn't mean to

•he feels like hes turning into his parents and he does NOT want that so he tries to fix what he did IMMEDIATELY , like even tim will tell him he fucked up lmao

•once curly took the blame for something that actually couldve gotten pony in legal trouble and put into a reformatory but instead curly went and pony felt so bad, they were sending letters back n forth for a while

•he knows how serious it could be if pony was taken away by the state and doesnt want that and he already thinks hes a lost cause anyways

•curly was one of the suspects (or at least someone thought to be involved w somehow) picked up for johnnys death, curly didnt tell pony about that one for a while cause he already thought pony was going through enough

•but when he did tell pony as like a passing one off joke ik pony felt TERRIBLE, had to have a long talk after that one

[flooficandii]

thats got me thinking actually . i havent rly had the energy nor the interest to update nuniq's doc to include interactions w/ the newest agents . including harbor and tjats literally her boyfriend lmao 😭😭😭😭 but anyway lemme make some poorly drawn depictions of what nuniq thinks of the newer agents (starting from clove to gekko)

clove

honestly. nuniq wasnt too jazzed about the idea of hiring a kid (grown adult but theyre a kid to her), especially an untrained one . she understands they might have a link to omen going rogue but is still iffy about the whole situation

also oof. the whole immortality thing? yeah it must be a lot to bear for clove, theyre just very good at hiding it. but like with a lot of the young radiants, nuniq lets them know they can approach her about this stuff bc shes been through it too

she can admit she gets pissed at clove bc their immortality causes them to make more reckless decisions on the field . she wants to get it in their head that you still have to be smart about these things no matter how much power you have

but! she thinks clove is very nice. very silly very sweet guy who is an excellent storyteller. storytelling is very intertwined in both nuniq and clove's cultures so she loves listening to whatever clove can whip up

clove has probably dragged her into dnd at least once

she took a while to grasp it but thats ok shes trying her best

anyway yeah clove talks a lot and sometimes nuniq cant understand them so she has to ask them to slow down

iso

valorant hired him because he was a kingdom killer and nuniq was ALL FOR THAT !!!!

she can tolerate the cocky smug little shit thing bc hes professional at least

hes not very hard to work with and is very cunning and calculating. nuniq likes that

iso has most definitely heard about nuniq before and was surprised to see her alive bc a lot of media made it seem she was dead to quell the uprisings against kingdom

nuniq is fascinated by iso's radiance but it definitely makes her think about how fast and how complex the concept of radiance itself is evolving . to think he could create his own pocket dimension with prismatic energy

besides that i feel like they mostly mind their own business

theres a mutual respect for eachothers skill and grit and they just *nods*

deadlock

like the thing says. theres currently some weird tension between deadlock and nuniq rn (and its surprisingly not gay)

theyre both so cold its kinda hard for either of them to approach eachother

deadlock is. working on her relationship with gekkos creatures! which nuniq appreciates

but idk nuniq never forgets anything and its hard for her to get over the fact she almost killed wingman multiple times

+ proposed awful countermeasures to keep the radivores in check

yk that one headcanon someone made about gekkos friendliness and critters winning over a lot of the protocol?

and how they immediately had beef w deadlock because of it?

yeah thats the situation with nuniq

things have simmered down with the creature situation but nuniq mostly ignores deadlock outside of work

and frankly i think deadlock's scared of nuniq too so

gekko

last but not least GEKKO !!!!

nuniq loves gekko!!! hes so silly

hes fun and lighthearted while still being a good fighter

being around gekko makes nuniq feel. Friendlier idk how else to describe it

also his critters have 100% stolen her heart sometimes she asks to babysit wingman when gekkos busy

she has had to apologize for aput using dizzy as a chew toy though

gekko has dyed nuniqs hair temporarily; it was northern lights-colored streaks that looked really cool when braided, she kept it for about a month until it washed out

overall she thinks hes very sweet and she and reyna can get along over being protective of him

anyway yeah i think thats every agent so far after harbor! wow !!! i cant believe we've already made it this far to agent 25 .. and agent 8 still hasnt been revealed yet i love valorant lore (tired

[upsidedowngrass]

hi these are some thoughts i had about liam a min ago. theyre messy but im thinking abt them so much . blwos up (text version under the cut, tho i also put the text into the alt)

its. initially he doesnt seem OPPOSED to help or anything but he def develops just. not considering himself. he doesnt care what happens to him as long as he can do what he needs to .but i think at the most visceral he still will avoid things that Actively Will Be Painful, tho i think hes more aware of that in heavy hindsight, or when its extremely imminent (gestures at ep 14)

DEFINITIELY… I THINK TO THE SHIT W THE SMOKESTACK SM hes like. is it dangerous? yeah. could i get in legal trouble? yeah. but its what stone wants, im sure of it. and i need to do that. no matter what

bc he obv is scared of death!!! he actively AVOIDS it in ep 14. which ofc is a low bar but its like. it shows his priorities SO well

that saving the others+stopping the others+just. doing whatever stone is asking him, thats giving him … some semblance of a purpose w what he feels like is already a permenantly destroyed life that cant be pieced together, that he has nothing else, thats weighed heavier than his own safety

he DOES object to offing himself in ep 13 though. at least he says as much, but he. doesnt seem to convinced. i think it was on his list of idedas but hes scared of death so idt he wanted to outright do THAT unless hed exhausted his options entirely, and following the notes WAS his 'options'

he cant follow the notes if hes dead, and as far as he knows, dying might screw up his ability to follow them. so its not smth he WANTS and hes scared of it and will avoid it if he can, but his own safety is considered a lower priorty; the same way he didnt wanna kill airy, he didnt wanna kill himself- stopping one from continuing, follow the notes were a higher priority, but if doing that directly requires doing the first two things he doesnt wanna actually do, he would do it. which , the thing w the smokestack isnt suicide, but the lack of concern for his own safety feels cut from the same cloth, really

THE FACT THAT HE CONSIDERS IT IS SO. hes so obv at his last straw its so upsetting. i think he realizes its illogical and thats what properly deters him. if its the wrong call, after all, it could ruin his chances- he needs to make use of his life as much as he can, he doesnt actually know what comes after bc he wasnt there long enough, but he knows its terrifying- but if it had been what he needed to do he would. but it doesnt seem to be

the argument is so very much. bryce fully coming to the realization that liam isnt just unhappy. that this isnt just smth hes just adamant abt, or a surface level problem and solution- he said 'you really are a mess' abt the eggs and i think at that pt all he knows is that liams Obsessed w this, and he knows shit got worse, but that liam is dwelling on it (smth bryce, master of handling his emotions, does not do /silly) - that hes doing this for himself and is just being ridiculous. but the argument i think is when it clicks how deep seated it is. i think after liams final little outburst after bryce says liams doing it for himself, i think the calling of bryce by soda bottle, the phrasing all makes it click that hes not just a guy not handling problems well, and isnt just being stupid, that liam is actively at the end of his rope and has stopped keeping himself safe and couldnt give less of a shit abt it- and its only then that it properly clicks for bryce. which ofc bryce couldnt know this is more an observation of what that convo does, bc what it does is like. make it click for bryce just how deep seated this problem is. he cant say 'dont do that' and walk away, and i think that probably scares bryce, because hes often the one fucking himself over- and this time, its someone else doing that, and its terrifying

he ultimately follows liam out of compassion- he doesnt need the keys. the car is totalled, and im fairly certain itd cost more to repair that thing than to get another car. he doesnt need liam for that. but i dont know if, before liam says his final thing, bryce wouldve fully followed him up the smokestack. bc theres a pause in bryce following liam at the gate, and i think thats the stretch that was because of what liam last said. bc he still cares about liam of course. hes pissed and catches up w him the first time because hes fucking angry and reasonably so, bc this guy STOLE AND CRASHED HIS CAR . and is mad abt it, and wants liam to know that. and he follows him to the gate bc hes WORRIED bc liam is being stupid, but that last stretch is like. thats him deciding that. liam isnt being stupid, hes not thinking and doesnt care and that its not smth liam COULD even do intentionally, bc its not smth that occurs as smth illogical and dangerous (and that being bad) if youre out of it and fucked up and dont know how to handle it. and bryce has his own issues, and hes not an asshole, and following liam up there is just. its him acting bc he knows liams too out of it to not get himself killed, and not only does he not want that on his conscience, he knows liam doesnt deserve to have that happen to him due to being so fucked up by things that he CANNOT think straight. hes not responding well and no matter how much someone could say he should try, like bryce was wanting him to, liam isnt at that pt. there are stages, so to speak, of experiencing trauma, and theres a point where its hard to even conceptualize that you SHOULD respond better to it, even if told, because it makes everything turn on its head and its hard to follow that, no matter how logical of a person you are. and bryce knows this. that liams not not trying to heal, that hes not in a place he CAN

if that makes. any sense. i have a lot of feelings on it

[akaakeis]

HEY HEY HEEEEYYYYYYY bokuto moment

HI SAV<33

first of all shut up and pretend I didn't see ur sideblog posts THE THING IS I LOVE LOVE LOVE SENDING ASKS BUT LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW IF ITD BE FREAKY TO SEND RANDOM ASS ASKS TO YOU EVEN THO I BLEAT IN UR DMS EVERY OTHER SECOND

N E WAYS HIIII im having lunch rn !! IT RAINED SO BAD SO ITS LIKE 5PM AND IM STILL IN MY UNIFORM AND STUFF i had like.. stuff planned on my schedule and stuff :cccccc

dude the way i do NAWT feel like writing at all but also im dying to get yns pov in the first chapter like PICK A FUCKING SIDE OMFG literally had to pause writing this to think

TODAY I CORRECTED THE ENGLISH TEACHERS GRAMMAR IT WAS SO FUNNY LIKE I WAS WRITING AT THE BOTTOM OF THIS HUGE ASS WHITEBOARD SO I WAS KNEELING ON THE GROUND AND SHE GOES TO CORRECT SOMEONE'S (ALREADY CORRECT) GRAMMAR AND I LOOK UP TO HER LIKE UH NO THAT'S RIGHT ACTUALLY AND SHE DIDN'T EVEN QUESTION IT JUST TOOK IT LIKE A CHAMP??? LIKE GIRL WHEN EVEN U KNOW UR WRONG????

THE SENTENCE WAS monica went to her grandmother's house for summer vacation AND SHE MADE IT WEIRDER SOUNDING "during vacation" LIKE GIRL NO??????????? sorry for ranting god im such a hater

AND LIKE THESE FUCKASS TEACHERS WONT SEE MY TEXTS (i love them) BUT THE EXACT SECOND I PULL UP TO THEM AT SCHOOL IM GETTING MY CHEEKS TUGGED AT LIKE "oh em gee alina u did such a great job we r sooo proud of u" DIE. AND IM SO SCARED CUZ IM NOT STUDYING PROPERLY OR ENOUGH I THINK AND MY SCHEDULE IS SO FREAKY AND WEIRD AND THE !! RAIN !! EW 🤮🤢🤮🤢 not that i hate the rain, it just conveniently happens NOT when im at home ready to go to school, but rather otw to school or otw home so i'm just late everywhere. also MY WATER BOTTLE DISAPPEARED?? AND THERES A GIRL W THIEVING TENDENCIES IN CLASS LIKE IM NOT POINTING FINGERS BUT BUT BUUUUUUUT um. ANWYAYS I SAW A SUBMERGED MOTORCYCLE AND ALSO MY CHEM TEACHER TAKING PICS OF THE FLOOD LIKE WTF HE WANT THEM FOR "look wife im not cheating im actually trapped in school"

dude.. biceps r so..... like... kuroo... IM LOWK A KUROO ENTHUSIAST HE IS SO YUMMY LIKE U JUST KNOW HED LET U BITE IT (my intrusive thoughts r like. if he existed irl. nom nom time) NOT EVEN IN A SEXUAL WAY BTW I JUST NEED A CHOMP

ANYWAYS I FOUND OUT LIKE RN THAT I GOT 77/90 IN PAPER 1 AND 95/110 IN PAPER 2 OF BANGLA AND I ONLY GOT AN A* BECAUSE OF THE THRESHOLD (171) LIKE WHAAAT. (I GOT 172)

ITS 5:18PM RN AND IM GNA TAKE THE FASTEST FUCKING SHOWER OF MY ENTIRE LIKE CUZ MY HAIR GREASY ASF AND ITS SO EW AND THEN ILL DO CHEM NOTES HASHTAG STUDYING TRUST ME ! ! !

ANYWAYS last anyways of the day HRU MY BABY POOKIE PIE DARLING SWEETHEART POPEYES MUFFIN CUPCAKE HONEYPIE POPSICLE POOKIEBRO HOW WAS UR SLEEP HOW WAS UR YESTERDAY HOW IS UR LIFE WHATS GOING ON AND ALSO ALSO ALSO i forget give me a sec um erm ueueue OH I GOT IT I ABSOLUTELY ADORE U FOR READING ALL OF THE THINGS I SEND U LIKE!!!!! SHIRRJSKSKSOKSKS ILY okbye!!

HEY LINA!!

yeah im gonna act like u didnt see that sideblog post bc i SAID i wasnt trying to hint at anyone... AND NO THATS NOT FREAKY?? idk man i send in asks to ness like every day bc i think its fun to talk that way!! paragraph asks are genuinely so fun to receive!! ALSO USING THE WORD BLEAT IS CRAZY YOU R NOT BLEATING IN MY DMS

omg i hope you had a good lunch!! im answering this like an hour later so i assume u already finished? idk its weird that we're 12 hrs apart 😭 AND NOOO THATS AWFUL :(( sorry to hear that love :( hopefully the rain didn't flood any area and you and your fam are all good!!

HELP THATS SUCH A REAL FEELING i was battling with that yesterday so bad omf... i feel like sometimes we can attach somewhat negative connotations w writing bc sometimes it can feel like a chore? so sometimes it's a struggle to get up and decide to write? maybe thats js me but like yeah 😓 BUT GENUINELY SO EXCITED FOR YOUR APOCALYPSE AU!! ITS BEEN AMAZING SO FAR!! AND ANYTHING IVE READ FOR IT MAKES ME WANT TO LET OUT AUDIBLE SOBS ‼️ that sounds negative but i feel like you get why i want to LIKE GOOD GRIEF anyway write whenever you feel like it!! dont force it <3

THERES NO WAY??? PLEASE THATS SO FUNNY TO ME 😭 I LOVE THAT SHE DIDNT EVEN QUESTION IT OMG? YOU PROBABLY SPEAK MUCH MORE FLUENTLY THAN HER ANYWAY LMAOAOAO BUT PROUD OF YOU!!

okay like maybe im stupid but i feel like both of those sentences make sense? like "monica went to her grandmother's house for summer vacation" makes sense but so does "monica went to her grandmother's house during vacation" it's just that it doesn't specify whether it's during summer vacation so it can sound awkward ig?? idk man ive been stuck reading old english for the last couple of days bc of the hobbit (I DESPISE THAT BOOK IT CAN GO DIE) sigh

HELP?? I MEAN IM SO HAPPY YOURE GETTING GOOD GRADES THO!! AS LONG AS YOURE ABLE TO STUDY JUST ENOUGH SO THAT YOURE CONFIDENT IN THE TOPIC THEN I THINK YOURE GOOD HONESTLY 😨 and the rain sounds like its out to get u thats wild??? PLEASE im not pointing my finger at anyone... im just agreeing here... there's a chance 😭 having classmates with tendencies to steal is such a pain in the ass tho i hope you're able to retrieve your water bottle!! AND HELP I LOVE THE WAY YOU DUBBED THAT "im not cheating im actually stuck in school" had me giggling sm

HELLO? BITING KUROO'S BICEP IS INSANE (but lowkey i would too VERY LOWKEY because i feel like im not super attracted to big biceps and stuff idk?? but just a little chomp 😋😋)

WHATATATAT AT LEAST YOU GOT A* THOUGH ‼️ GOOD JOB!!!

AAA ENJOY YOUR SHOWER! I HOPE IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER!! AND YES WE LOVE A RESPONSIBLE STUDIOUS GIRL 😋

AND IM ACTUALLY DOING GOOD MY POOKIE WOOKIE SUGAR PLUM COOKIE BROWNIE PUMPKIN PIE HONEY LOML (i laughed an obscene amount while writing that)!! TODAY IM GONNA BE SUPER BUSY.. I HAVE SPEECH AND DEBATE AFTER MY SCHOOL DAY IS OVER AND THEN I HAVE VOLLEYBALL PRACTICE UNTIL... 7 PM???? I THINK???? GOD. AND I SLEPT SUPER DUPER WELL I WOKE UP RLY COZY IN MY BED AND IM STILL HUDDLED UP IN HERE LMAOAOAO 😭 YESTERDAY WAS GOOD!! I DIDNT HAVE ANYTHING I NEEDED TO DO SO I GOT TO CHILL AT HOME AND LISTEN TO MUSIC AND LITTLE PODCASTS (i listen to the bit my tongue podcast by nailea devora SOOO MUCH) AND AWHAGSHHA LINA!! I ADORE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE AND ANYTHING YOU SEND TO ME!! ILL ALWAYS MAKE TIME TO READ SOMETHING YOU SEND ME!! ILY!! <3

[house-of-lovin]

see im relatively new to tumblr so i don’t even know if this is how ur supposed to send stuff in but.. yolo!

Anyways since R is a singer/writer and her reputation is pretty bad rn.. in like any sort of upcoming song she has i feel like ANY song from Taylor swifts “reputation” album works (im also saying that bc i absolutely adore rep.) BUT im not biased I have evidence.

Look what you made me do - one of the lines in the song is “i don’t trust nobody and nobody trusts me, I’ll be the actress staring in your made dreams” THATS LITERALLY PERFECT BC PPL ARE STARTING TO NOT TRUST HER BC OF THE VEGAS SCANDAL, AND SHES AN ACTUAL ACTRESS!!

I did something bad - the title honestly speaks for itself. she taking the Vegas thing and reclaiming it as her own experience.. but making it positive

End game - “ohh, you and me, we got big reputations” her and j do indeed have very big reputations

So it goes - “getting caught up in the moment, lipstick on your face” her and j after R’s performance

Getaway car - “there were sirens in the beat of you heart” this might be a stretch buttt how R got arrested

Dress - “say my name and everything just stops. I don’t want you like a best friend, only bought this dress so you can take it off” I don’t feel like I even have to explain that

Dancing with our hands tied (my fav) - “i love you in spite of deep fear that the world would divide us” R being to scared to commit to J

Gorgeous- sooo many lines apply to R and J but I’m only gonna choose one. “And I’m so furious at you for making me feel this way, but what can I say? your gorgeous.” once again, speaks for itself

Ready for it - “i know I’m gonna be with you so I’ll take my time” she knows her a J are gonna end up together so she’s fine with waiting

This is why we can’t have nice things - “Here's a toast to my real friends. They don't care about that he said, she said. And here's to my baby. He ain't reading what they call me lately” ofc we can change the wording to best fit

New Year’s Day- “please don’t ever become a stranger who’s laugh I could recognize anywhere” cmon now..

Don’t blame me - “I’ve been breaking hearts a long time and toying with them older guys” cause yk we know about R past.. with multiple people.

Call it what you want - “all the liars are calling me one” idk that just seems like a jab at the authors of the articles written about her

Delicate - “this is for the best. My reputations never been worse so you must like me for me” that’s the most PERFECT way to describe R and J

King of my heart - “your love I’m hoping, dreaming, dying to keep” cause.. she’s literally grasping onto the 50% chance she has with J

Anyways that’s my analogy, sorry if I went to far. I do that sometimes but once again, yolo. But tbh i can make any song relate to R. Just tell me and I can and will do it. ALSO THIS WASNT TO PRESSURE U JUST TO CLARIFY. THIS SERIES IS YOURS AND UR COMPLETELY IN CHARGE!!

I'm def gonna listen to all of these songs !!!

but a lot of people have said reputation fits R & J well!!

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP34 SPOILERS!

here are my thoughts on the new episode!!! this time im actually writing them out in real time. ive been so so excited for this one

- no normal fact damn. thats okay though will i support

- oh god are they doing this w their comedy personas.

- IM SO NERVOUS FOR THIS STRANGER I CAN ONLY IMAGINE HOW SHES FEELING ABOUT THIS LMAO

- i love how tori didnt even get an introduction to scam it was just like oh yeah theres a guy here named scam likely

- LINK JUST SHOWING GARFIELD ON HIS PHONE lincoln li wilson bless ur soul

- somehow the audio quality of link being on a microphone extra loud makes this so funny

- istg the moment hermie has a line im gonna scream and jump up and down

- ANTHONYS IN FUCKING JOKER MAKEUP????

- THE COMPLETE SILENCE AFTER THE PLANES JOKE.

- i literally forgot that disney movies have anime remakes now in dndads i was so confused for a sec WAIT TORI DOESNT KNOW THIS OMFG IMAGINE HER CONFUSION

- WAS NOT EXPECTING THE SUDDEN TAYLOR ANGST HE WAS SCARED ABOUT HIS MOM DYING AS A KID??? ARE U JOKING??

- honestly though i think taylor opening up like this through comedy makes sense

- link is so supportive of taylor awwww

- BETH MAY PREPARING MISOGYNISTIC JOKES WHILE EXPECTING TO PERFORM FOR A MAN HELPP

- NORMAL IS LAST OH GOD

- OH GOD HES TRAUMADUMPING TOO

- i think its so funny and ironic how scary is the only one who doesnt drop lore about her family in her set

- OHHHH MY GOD THE CHAPARRAL ROAST. OH YEAH. I LOVE THE DIRECTION WILLS GOING W THIS (NORMAL DOESNT GET MAD HE GETS EVEN)

- HERMIE SAID A SINGLE WORD I REPEAT HE GOT ONE WORD IN FOLKS

- WILL IS SO GOOD AT THIS. GOD

- HERMIEEEE

- THE WAY MY FACE FUCKING FELL WHEN HE STARTED DIRECTLY ROASTING HERMIE. OH NO

- "im sensitive about that :[" MY LITTLE GUYYYYY NO

- NOOOOO NORMAL WHAT ARE U DOING THIS IS SO MEAANN THIS IS TOO FAR

- HERMIE IS CRYING???? OMFG NO

- NORMAL TOLD HERMIE HE LIKES HIM!!!!!

- will campos is carrying this entire episode

- GOTHCLEATS????

- IM LESS THAN HALFWAY THROUGH THE EPISODE AND I AM ALREADY LOSING MY GODDAMN MIND

- hermies up now i am so fucking scared. this episode is NOT going the direction i thought it would omfg (not complaining at all im just in shock)

- *applauds hermie along w tori* (I CANT BELIEVE ANTHONY IS DOING THIS W JOKER MAKEUP)

- HE JUST HAS DC JOKES.

- thanks for the existential crisis/aging/suicide jokes hermie i really needed that on my bday 😅😅 /s

- IS HERMIE OKAY????? THERE WAS SM TO UNPACK THERE. I CANT DO THIS

- "im saying were all thinking about how i would be better off dead" IM KILLING MYSELFFFF

- nobody hmu ever again /j i am never going to stop thinking about the fact that hermie is canonically suicidal

- TORI SCORED LINCOLN HIGHER THAN TAYLOR LMAO

- HERMIE LOST.

- i had to take a big ol break just to process that shit. fuck. this is somehow making me even more insane hermie brained wtf

- HERMIE IS TELLING THEM TO JUST KILL SCAM???

- THE FACT THAT I JUST DID A DRAWING OF SCAM AND HERMIE WHOLESOME FATHER SON BONDING BEFORE THIS EPISODE. GOD

- "u dont like me, u idiot" 😦

- MY FUCKINGGGFG FACE RN. I. I

- NORMAL IS TALKING ABOUT MARRIAGE WTF

- IM LITERALLYYY GETTINF OAKWORTHY CONFESSION SCENE. ON MY BDAY.

- HERMIE DIDNT DO IT FOR HIS SCHOOL???

- HE. HE. HE DID ALL OF THIS FOR HIS DAD. HES LITERALLY JUST LIKE ME FR.

- WHAT THE ACTUAL FUUUUCK. OAKWORTHY NATION. WE ARENT REALLY WINNING BUT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

- THIS IS LIKE WHEN GLENN WAS SAYING THE ONLY THING LEFT FOR HIM IS TO KILL HIS DAD THIS IS SO UPSETTING

- ANTHONY ASKING IF NORMAL ACTUALLY GENUINELY LIKES HERMIE. I CANT DO THIS

- GUYS WE GOT AN ANCHOR BREAKING W LOVE BC OF OAKWORTHY. JUST LIKE WE WANTED

- will campos really holding on strong for us. normal is gonna fix hermie if its the last thing he does ig

- THE BABY AT THE BEGINNING OF THE SEASON WAS STEWIE????

- THERES STILL LIKE ANOTHER HALF HOUR LEFT I FEEL SICK

- NICKYS BACK i wasnt expecting him this episode yippee

- THEYRE IN SPACE. AND HERMIE IS THERE. THIS IS THE PERFECT EPISODE FOR ME

- im being so serious guys when i say i think this may be my fave episode of the whole season so far it is boggling my mind and smashing my heart to pieces and im loving it

- "u can be polygamous in space" there are so many good lines this episode

- I LOVE HOW EXCITED BETH IS ABOUT THE TELEBANGLE

- i also love whenever freddie talks about sciencey mathy stuff that i dont understand

- ARE THEY SERIOUSLY ALL MARRYING EACH OTHER??? IS THIS REALLY WHATS HAPPENING???? HELPP

- SCARY SIGNED AS TERRY. W A HEART. YALL.

- THIS EPISODE IS A FUCKING FEVER DREAM I SWEAR

holy fucking shit. what a rollercoaster. so yeah guys i think that was my fave episode of the season wow. what a bday gift to me. herman unworthy is just like me fr. i am going to take an eternity to recover from this.

[stars4-max]

Just realized I never said anything about how I almost died by a bus door when i was like... 9 or 10??? idk snd can't remember my exact age at that time so umm

STORY TIME!!! YIPPE 🐈

People in this story time of mine; My Brother (K), My Mom (S), and My Stepdad (L)

So me, my brother, my mom, and my stepdad were all on this bus that had two doors, one in the front of the bus (like normal) and one in the middle

I was really small and everyone else was taller than me and instead of doing the smart thing I was leaving the bus last ((they didn't realize)) and as i was stepping out (bc i was a little scared to have to practically jump down the bus steps) the bus door in the middle(where we were getting of) closed on me, like literally on me

The bus doors were to my shoulders and i felt like i was suffocating really bad because of it and i yelped bc why wouldn't i??? ans the people inside the bus were a lil confused as to why it wouldn't close but saw me and panicked like "??!??!?!" and were trying to either push or pull me in or out the bus and my mom, brother and stepdad were trying to pull me out and stop the bus driver at the same time as were others

As everyone was struggling I shifted to my side so the doors were to my back and chest respectively and i regretted it because it hurt more but i wasnt crying more or so just panicking quietly while everyone else was panicking loudly. And it wasn't until my mom was basically kicking thr front bus door that the bus driver FINALLY started reopening the middle door and apologizing while everyone else was just in relief

I was and still am calm abt it and i giggle sometimes because imagine what my grave would say. "died by a bus door". im sorry but my laughter would escape me from beyond the grave. I actually wonder if any of those people are okay too or if they had nightmares of little me ACTUALLY dying from it

On a side note; a con from this is the fact I'm more wary of doors in general that dont open from handles and that I struggle to breathe sometimes and my memories and pseudo feelings of the doors come back randomly.

At least now I can reference it and have people know what tf I mean

[nineliabilityrisk]

⭐ ( @ladyseidr )

[ send a " ⭐ " and i will list muses i would be interested in throwing at yours ]

[ asked by @ladyseidr ]

lets just go down the list here. theres gonna be a damn good few i have SO MANY muses i havent even gotten to play yet. this is going to be so fucking incoherent because i have so many thoughts in my brain. also i KNOW we have stuff pending im working on it i promise im just so all over the place im. yeah 👍

putting my answer under the cut bc this is gonna get LONG

[formatting is "your muse - my muse(s) i would like to see with them"]

funtime foxy - funtime freddy [+ bon-bon] or lolbit ofc!! my muses for them have been inconsistent as fuck lately but i WILL corral them into place eventually

henry emily - literally any of the animatronics. ive hardly gotten to play any of them i want to know how he would treat them. heavy HEAVY emphasis on the rockstars + lefty bc those are HIS bots and his kid and my versions of them are absolute sweethearts. or like. the puppet. or the original bonnie + freddy models. literally any of them. PLEASE god i need someone to come say hi to my fucked up little robots. (/nf) also of course i am shoving mikey and ciar at him thats a given, henry isnt mikes stepdad hes the dad who stepped up i need more content of them. and henry is also not immune to the curse that is ciarán dempsey. he WILL get a hold of him one day. its gonna happen (/lh)

roxanne wolf - cassie. are you kidding. i am picking cassie up and SHOVING her into roxys arms i need more of them literally always i dont care where or when or how. also "secret muse number 2" aka glambonnie who i never bothered to write a bio for. literally my only other actual sb muse because i wasnt interested in sb at ALL until ruin 😭 but i do have a sb verse for michael now too if you wanna have roxy pester him! scare the shit outta that cynical bastard! put some healthy fear of god into him that boy has none left after dying and being brought back to life twice! also if ur willing to wait i am actively working on a sideblog for birdie, my help wanted / sb era oc... i feel like she would get along with roxy REALLY well

michael afton - jeremy jeremy jeremy jeremy i will NEVER pass up a chance to play jeremy. also my henry is always here <3 ive stated this so many times before (including earlier in this post) but michael and henrys dynamic can be something SO personal. pizza sim era or pre-everything or what have you i dont CARE what it is i just want michael to have the caring father figure he was missing and for henry to have the chance to care for a child that he never thought he would have again. i want them to bond over what william did to them. they are everything to me i cannot state this enough. also im dangling all my animatronics in front of ur mikey ooooooh you wanna subject him to the Horrors so so bad. also i think he would like my oc josh theyre both tired minimum wage fazbear employees. also i would be offering evan but that little fuckers muse is GONE atm i dont know where he ran off to im so sorry

[sennaverstappendiary]

bahrain grand prix ✩ 02.03.2024

here we are. the 2024 season is officially starting‼️‼️‼️💥💥💥 and so is my first ever full f1 season 🥺🥺🥺💘💘💘 i mean tbf i did follow f1 already at the first 2 races in 23 but still!!! i didn't watch them!!! and now i will!!! oh my god!!!

so, my goal for this year is to be less stressed, bc honestly, it was really getting to me 💔💔💔 and i don't want to rely on a dutch guy winning in a sport for all of my happiness... i would like to enjoy the sport more, even if max doesn't win (which... will happen eventually. i am writing this before the race idek if he wins this one!! he might not!!) ‼️‼️‼️🥰🥰🥰 so: enjoy the SPORT more, which is important i think 💘💘💘✨✨🌷🌷🌷 we will see how it goes!! but this was a very important life lesson for me: i will still love max, even if he loses. him losing doesn't make me love him any less 🥺🥺🥺🥺

free practice. as usual i didn't WATCH, but i did keep up with it of course. its always scary when max doesnt do well, but its just practice and its fun seeing who does well surprisingly!! the merc all of the sudden look super strong, which was a real surprise‼️‼️‼️‼️ also daniel p1 in fp1 yeah okay sure 😭😭😭 who gaf. but it did make me realise the above, so thats good!!

qualifying. oh my god qualifying the season is REALLY starting again oh my god 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 i was watching at my grandparents again!!! friday quali is crazy!!! i cannot lie. my ass was sure max wasnt gonna get pole 💀💀💀💀 so it was a real surprise that he did!!! to be fair even he sounded surprised AHAHA 😭😭😭😭😭😁😁😁 "ha ha sorry gp!!" 😭😭😭😭 the silly!!! f1 is so back!!! charles q2 lap was really good too, thank you oscar for the tow bc 💀💀💀💀 they were also soooo silly after the quali!!! lestappen yapping how i have missed u!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

RACE DAAAYYYY!!!‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏🙏 first one of the season, oh my god. i literally woke up with my body feeling like it was being chased down by a fucking lion like. it was so serious 😭😭😭💥💥💥💥☀️☀️☀️☀️☀️ BUT!! the sun was shining for like. the first time ever in the netherlands, and life was good, and my dad convinced me to play some f1 23 with him beforehand which was a lot of fun :-) ALSO!!! f1 fantasy is soooo fun omg 🥰🥰🥰✨😁😁😁💘💘💘🥰🥰🥰 this will be relevant in a second. so. its 3:45 pm. i feel like im literally dying. my dads sitting next to me. FUCKING ALAIN PROST JUMPSCARE 💥💥💥‼️‼️‼️‼️ but ok. formation lap. i literally cant speak im that fucking scared. my mouth is dry. i see the lights. i literally cant move. 🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅🙅 ok. light 1. light 2. light 3. light 4. light 5. i feel like im dying. MAX HAS A GOOD START OH MY FUCKING GOD 🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🙏🙏🙏🙏 my dad mad as fuck bc he has nico in his fantasy team 💀💀💀 he puts a hand on my shoulder and is like "are u shaking" and i look at him like. yea. i always am during the first few laps 😭😭😭😭 anyway lewis making no impression + charles disasterclass like yea it was bad for us. checo actually kinda got that dawg in him rn 👀👀👀 and so does carlos!!! ik im a lestappie but i can also be a carlos enjoyer. fun fact. i am. I LOVE VERSAINZ 💕💕💕💌💌💌 ok tangent. YEAH THE RACE WAS COOL I TURNED TO MY DAD AND SAID "i hope hes going for the grand slam 😁😁😁😁😁" ooohhh maaaaxxxx maxy maaax max max max max 🥰🥰🥰🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥰🥰🥰🥰‼️‼️‼️‼️ i love him so much im fully losing my mind. HE LOOKED SOOO FUCKING GOOD ON THE PODIUM TOO IM BITING HIM RN. KITCHEN. BAREFOOT. PREGNANT. NOW‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️ yeah no i rlly did enjoy this race SO much im so so glad f1 is back 🥺🥺🥺🥺 a shame about fernando being a lil flop in that flop car BUT this was the first opening race without any dnfs!!! how fucking cool is that!!! i think its cool!!! 💕💕💕😁😁😁✨✨✨ SEE YALL NEXT WEEK AT JEDDAHHHH 🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷🌷

✩ song of the race: the weekend - michael gray

I CANNOT WAAAIT FOR THE WEEKEND TO BEGIN DURING RACE WEEK LIKE IM LISTENING TO THIS SHIT ON LOOOPPP💥✨✨💕💕😁😁

✩ photodump:

[eternalera]

okay okay okay (this is lowkey review for me bc i got iliad stuff to do once i get back to school :>)

so basically here are some points leading up to it bc in the iliad we dont actually get his death bc the iliad wasnt really about the whole 'achilles gets yoinked in the heel thing' and more about the loss that came with war (in my opinion).

so basically achilles kinda almost avoided the whole 'getting shot in the heel thing' this is mostly because agamemnon (we hate him here <3) threw a pissy fit because he had to give up his war prize (something that resembled honor and yes this is a VERY prominent thing because back then honor was basically all you had after your death because they didnt really have a writing system to tell your story i mean they did but like yknow, it was one vases and shit im pretty sure)

so achilles is like 'you gotta give back your war prize or else apollo is gonna get pissed at us because you dishonored him' and agamemnon is like 'fine but im taking yours' and achilles is like 'this bish-'

so then he leaves the war and refuses to fight unless agamemnon basically pleads at his feet for him to join back into the war. so basically one two skip a few and enter in patroclus achilles' totally no-homo-tentmate-best-buddy-friend-heterolifepartner nothing ever happened yep mhm totally

so basically achilles sends him out because he sees a warrior get injured (machaon who is a medic kinda important but eh) and hes like 'go see who that is before i grieve for them please, gotta make sure its someone of importance' (yes hes a bitch)

then patroclus is like 'alr sure whatever you say' anyways once he gets there nestors like 'yknow how nice of achilles to get sad when someone he likes gets hurt, BUT HE COULD PREVENT IT IF HE WOULD GET HIS ASS OUT HERE. so could you tell him to do that pls? and if not cant you at least wear his armor and get out here' and patroclus is like ' , :D i can sure try' and anyways he sees someone getting injured and actually helps him (UNLIKE HIS SHITTY ASS BF)

anyways he gets back and is like 'you actually fucking suck wtf man everyones dying everyones injured' and hes crying and shit and achilles is just mocking him until he realizes that its serious and then patroclus is like 'if you wont fight can i go out in your armor and yknow act like you to scare them off?'

achilles is then like 'YESS WIN ME GLORRYYYYY, and also dont go far from the ships and dont seize glory and dont die pls :>'

patroclus is like 'sir yes sir'

then he fucking DIES!!

anyways achilles manages to cry so damn loudly that the sea nymphs BELOW THE EARTH could hear him and started to get sad. thetis (his mother) then goes up and is like 'whats wrong'

then achilles is like 'my totally non-homo-heterolifepartner died mother theres nothing left to live for. i shall fight :(' then thetis mourns for her son and gets hephaestus to make him some armor

anyways then achilles does a bunch of shit, fights a river, the usual when mourning yknow? and then FINALLY he kills hector (aka the one who killed patroclus) and drags his body around troy three times (he has truama)

and then yeah stuff happens hector gets returned but ANYWAYS

hector was apollos favorite so when he saw achilles dishonoring him he's like 'well fuck THAT guy' and then he goes down to paris (hectors femboy practically useless flamboyant brother but we love him for that) and is like

'yo since that guy kinda killed your brother you wanna help me kill him :>'

and then paris is like 'FUCK YEAHHHH'

anyways apollos rigs paris' arrow to basically hit achilles' heel his one vulnerable spot

everything else is invincible or smth bc thetis (omg its her again) dipper him in the river styx to make him invincible but held him by his heel for some reason?? (she totally couldve just also dipped the heel but sure) and so yeah the arrow kills him or smth!?

people think that it left achilles disabled like unable to walk and then paris stabbed him or smth because as you can imagine a hit to the heel isnt exactly fatal.

oh yeah its also thought that paris shot the arrow on his own without apollos help or that apollo just shot the arrow at achilles and paris took the credit or didnt have anything to do with it

yeah so basically thats achilles' death

he totally couldve avoided it too bc he had two destinies and shit so yeah :)

Pup!!!! Hi how are you :D

good :DDDD

hru?

[forgotten-daydreamer]

knowing im going to die very young somehow doesnt make the psychological violence any easier to bear

[upsidedowngrass]

you ever think about how, on top of the other assorted traumas the main cast had to endure, they now have to deal with the fact that they know what the afterlife is like, and it sucks?

i DO and i think about it a LOT!!!

as is. probably expected. i think abt it the MOST wrt liam. because the way i see it, he does NOT like dying at all and he also KNOWS what it Really looks like. he KNOWS that theres nothing actually there, and all he knows of the waiting room is 1. a radio that is basically a device that is most likely to just get you killed, and 2. if you dont use the radio, you are trapped Forever. thats. not a pleasant way to view what awaits you

i actually think that eventually the waiting room would come to look like Something for liam years later once he gets home, and that it just looking as it truly is to him largely has to do with the immediate traumatic experiences he was going through all the times he saw it (something something, the waiting room showing you what you want or something you miss etc, but him not having anything to go off of because hes not thinking of much and is a bit detached from the stuff he COULD be thinking about, blah blah blah. my ideas on what determines if you see smth ARE a bit rough bc its so vague tho i also tend to think it has smth to do with if you were 'supposed' to die at that moment, like how stones knowledge of stuff clearly favors certain events over others. its hard to explain and i dont wanna derail this post. its not completely relevant) and that, once he Dies dies itll be Okay! but i think the fact that he knows what the waiting room can be at its worst would probably assume that, when he dies, everythings gonna suck for ETERNITY and id. imagine that is a very haunting thought process to have. i think death scares him a LOT because of this (he SAW julien, and i think the idea of that happening to him and no one ever helping , since it was so unlikely for julien to be saved anyway) and its. probably one of many things hes gonna HAVE to work out in therapy or smth . the guy went through TWO situations where he was trapped somewhere for Possibly Forever, the idea of that being what hes doomed to experience For The Rest Of Time is probably Not Pleasant and Not Helped by his other trauma

the other characters i think have a very different view of it, but not necessarily in a 'better' or 'worse' way . but its because all of them DID see soemthing in the room (or in amelias case, likely wasnt there long enough to even know WHAT she was looking at, let alone assess it.). bryce eventually saw it for what it was yeah, but he def KNOWS what it Can be. for bryce, then, i think its also. complicated? because it seems to be a tipping point for him in the series. and i think its because, when things go wrong and theres no Direct Person To Blame, hes like. almost sluggish? idk how to describe it, its almost similaar to how liam responds to things being fucked up, but feels fundamentally different, and hes just kinda There. if i had to guess, that has to do with his preexisting trauma and how he responds to it, but he generally comes across as if hes in shock the Whole time. the fact that he Died, For Real is uncomfortable to him, but it doesnt seem to mean Much wrt what the room is Showing him. i think the fact that its 'not real' is irrelevant, and i think thats ALL him. because its the exact thing he would Want to be real. id imagine its very dreamlike. and most people jsut Go Along with things in their dreams

even when he comes to see the room as it is, it seems to have more with the fact that him and liam had to work together for a WHILE. we dont know how long they tried to get to stones world (other than that they were killed More than 20 times), but its safe to assume they Didnt realize theyd be able to get BACK home (given bryces surprise at teh san francisco note). so when they actually find stones world its like. bryce DOES care abt liam, and has the whole time (with him going up the smokestack being the biggest indicator. 'i want my car keys back,' as many have pointed out is. a reason, but an obvious excuse). the notes ARE saying something, texty JUST found something important. but liam is upset to not have gotten ANYTHING out of dying 20 times, and while bryce was mostly just Going Along before, now it seems like theres an Actual possibility they could stop airy because they just DID, and liam DOESNT notice it??? and i think, then, his primary goal becomes something the room cant replicate, not really (side note, that we dont see what bryce sees because its a Show. and i think many people assume Right when texty brought them back that he saw it was. but i think it Stopped showing the suburbs AS he was talking to liam, hence the surprise! i imagine it was visually similar to when a setting changes in a dream. but thats not important to this post). from here, he doesnt seem more OPTIMISTIC, but it seems like hes more. content? determined? which i imagine has to do with 'thought he was dead Forever, and was in shock' -> 'thought he was dead Forever, but might be able to help the other contestants! which is good!' -> 'hes NOT dead forever. but like. he STILL can help them!' which i think is a weird combo of Good News and a New Goal RIGHT after smth Super Fucked Up

anyway, the conclusion that tangent was supposed to visualize is that. i think the waiting room might be. mostly positive to bryce??? but in the same way someone might think positively of something saving them from smth fucked up. like that isnt to say the bryce likes it but i think its a complex appreciation?? im not sure. he talks a lot abt how he doesnt want to throw everything away Again, and i think the waiting room almost Contradicted everything about that? like. dying SHOULDVE been the end of everything. but it??? wasnt??? it ultimately didnt help anything substantially, but like. he went through All That and came out alive, somehow? endorphins were probably also at play

but then also it DID lead to him dying 20+ times. so its certainly not just positive for him. but i think overall this would make how he feels about the waiting room. pretty complex? and probably confusing for himself. given that he saw it as it was for a relatively short amount of time, and the two didnt take too much time trying to figure out WHAT the room even WAS, i dont think itd be easy to connect everything together. and it wouldnt be unreasonable for him to assume that itd be the suburbs if he ever went back, or that if it WAS that orange and pink place, maybe thats not fully bad? but eeither way, itd certainly be disorienting to think about. i think the idea of it not having been Real would be confusing and maybe a bit upsetting, but he doesnt strike me as caring TOO much if its 'real.' though i think the idea of spending the rest of existence in something Fake would also be. unnerving

charlotte also definitely saw Something. its never clarified WHAT, but the fact that she saw something is Clear. and i think shed probably be affected by it in a more subtle way, because she NEVER saw it as it was. as far as she knows, when she died, she was shown something (and likely someone) that she wanted to go to, so i think shed see it as mostly a positive place. a very desirable place to be!!! but that has little to do w how shed feel abt dying itself. because i think the idea of death not being smth Bad would be comforting, but also the act of dying itself would be the unsettling in itself. that, and the fact that she can be brought back Easily, potentially. which ALSO isnt necessarily negative but also i think would be Weird to think about. that you can be somewhere great forever, for the rest of existence, but at any moment that place could be taken away. Really, its not that much different from the trauma of the plane (though, given her life beforehand, the idea of being taken from someplace definitively Good might be more unique to her having died) but its likely smth that would Still impact her

amelia then is the most complicated to figure out out of the four? bc we dont even know how much she SAW. it likely wasnt MUCH but like. she seems to know she Died, at the very least, and knows how temporary it Can be (however unrealistic that may seem) . as such i think her feelings on the waiting room are probably hazy, and what ideas she DOES have are closer to charlottes. most of what she knows about it would likely be based around what the others tell her. really, for amelia, i think the more haunting aspect is the Dying part. i think it affects her sense of self, and that having been brought back partially Didnt happen. that amelia died, and scenty was respawned. as such, i think the waiting room COULD be a negative concept for her, but only on account of it having been the last thing that the idea of amelia probably ever saw. that, or the first thing the idea of where scenty begins starts. just a extremely brief glimpse into somewhere dreamlike, and then a huge shift in self. i think post canon this feeling of having Died lingers a LOT, and what would haunt her about the afterlife has more to do with the idea of ANOTHER loss of self. which would also have to be smth Worked out in therapy or smth of that nature

basically i think they all would have verrry different thoughts on the waiting room , but even those among them that dont have a completely negative view of it wouldnt necessarily see it positively. and i think itd suck for them . SO bad. but i think someday it would maybe suck a little less!