#bc i was thinking about the origins of Popular Music in like the 40s and 50s and how the sound of that is entirely different to modern pop

[eggmeralda]

what sort of music first comes to mind when someone says pop + how old are you?

[feuqueerfire]

Lovely Runner Live Blogging

I've been seeing the “i found you girl i like being around you” edits on tiktok but before then, i’d also heard about the show and saw an ep 1 clip of when she runs up to him at the swimming pool. i’m a time travel show enjoyer and this show has been getting such good reviews, so I’m excited. my last few shows have been quite dark and violent and i kinda wanna go for another such show but think a lighter (yet emotional) show might do me some good so that i don’t burn out

Ep 1 (June 25)

2009

omg…

ah, he encouraged her to live through this time when she was contemplating suicide and ig later on she will do the same bc he unfortunately takes his own life before the time travel i think

Dec 31, 2022

13 years, how old were they then and how old are they now?

oh i knew she was a fan but she’s a biiiig fan

ah, they were in high school at the same time and his high school was across hers

some fans hate Sunjae bc he’s too popular and getting opportunities

the band members also seem to not like him and it could be bc of his popularity but he also seems resistant to being an idol in general and wants to retire so that might have smth to do with it

wow she’s really having a tough day: rejected from job bc it has no elevator and she has a wheelchair, late to the concert, and then lost the ticket omg

this scene of Sunjae putting in his in-ear and going on stage is now iconic to me bc of the edits, kept expecting to hear “i found you girl i like being around you” as background music loll

she’s really determined to be positive and make the most of everything, i expect a breaking point soon though

oh, in hyuk doesn’t want him to retire

phone crack

wheelchair stops

yeah the tears finally. what a fucking day

hehe they meet in the current timeline

lolll her getting annoyed that her friend came just when she could’ve been getting a ride w Sunjae

what is that jar that she gave him?

was it Sunjae who saved her from the accident?

the watch was weird for a second. i guess that's gonna be The Object that takes her back/causes everything

ahh he took meds and jumped off into the swimming pool.

this reminds me a bit of True Beauty but like the friend who passed away

time of death: Jan 1, 2023. 12am

dead at 34, so was 21 in 2009? 19 or 20 interactional age?

The fact that she Just saw him alive and seemingly well a few hours ago must make it even more unbelievable

Traveled back

her legs work again

okay, I'd seen this Instagram edit of this scene as the very first thing I saw from this show but I didn't know when I first watched it just how awkward/embarassing this is T.T

aw, is he also going through something now? her talking about how he went through this alone made him soften

SHE SAID SARANGHAE SUNJAE-AH?! please

her still being like 'this is my dream' oh she's gonna be mortified when she realizes this is real in a time travel universe

lolol she's like I'm not dreaming? Fuck, am I dead?

pls i'm dying, Sunjae's so confused while she's acting as if they're both dead now (and mustn't cross the bridge)

so did Sunjae take the watch?

Ah, he probably had to quit being a swimmer and become an idol in the original timeline too because of his shoulder

June 2008

So are they seniors in high school right now?

ahh she gets to see her grandma from 14 years ago when she still recognized Sol before alzheimers or whatever T.T

Aw, Sol cries every time she looks at Sunjae

ah, the parallels of Sunjae holding the umbrella over Sol and asking why she's crying now and in the original timeline

I watched around the first 30-40 minutes of this episode on my iPad while I was on the train (and also like 10 minutes in a restaurant lol). I'm likely going to have to take the train a lot starting the second week of July so I had been thinking that maybe I'll save this one for that time and watch like some raunchy BLs and GLs now that I can't watch on the train but the first ep was quite good, I think I'll binge it now oof.

Ep 2 (July 6)

Since Episode 1, I've watched My Stand-In Eps 1 - 11, Blank Season 1, and reread Mistborn: The Final Empire.

"i can fool a 19-year-old, right?" lol Sol

who is this guy? i know there's a love triangle, is this the second lead?

the people who go back in time/become younger scolding the other kids who seem the same age as them is always funny

ah, so funny, he's the first guy Sol stanned

lmfao please why's he running after the bus

the little icons getting farther and farther away and the song about going farther away playing lmfao

omg, she can't tell him the future/what will happen if he does something? time stops?

woah, you really could just stop time and do a bunch of stuff while shouting future facts lmfao

pls, this future-telling grandma cosplay

Sunjae jealous of Taesung already

how does she keep finding herself in these situations, plssss

like Sunjae is literally so correct to be like what the fuck like actually but also T.T

that guy is indeed Sunjae's father and lmfao Sunjae was the one who borrowed the porn/erotic VHS that Sol's mother has been on the dad's case about

overly dramatic crosswalk scene but i guess it's fine since it's mirroring how she probably got into her accident originally and she has trauma from it

she's the one who gave Sunjae an umbrella first! Also i've def seen this scene from a tiktok or smth

pls so he didn't even mean to borrow the erotic video? smh

this is kinda like My School President when Tinn was trying to impress Gun but everything went wrong and he was being a loser lol

so these two episodes effected the future and there's a photo of Sunjae and Sol on the table but it didn't change the death

Ep 3 (July 6/7)

ah, so he didn't injure himself this time?

hilarious that he can't seem to confess while she's fangirling and cooing over him

the dad left his shoe like cinderella lmfao

eughhhh she's like fuck, you don't want me to be your fan anymore? let's be friends! while he's trying to confess

Sunjae's dad dramatic + full of expectations and pressure + getting ahead of himself

and Sunjae also not tell him about the injury

omg her brother and her friend are both home not noticing the fire in their sight?

does that much water even do anything to a fire? feels like you're not supposed to be doing that...

I wish they hadn't done this fire scene so humorously with the brother and friend, kinda took away from the weight of it. also i wonder if the fire or her mother burning her hand won't still happen bc stuff like the shoulder injury or the ball hitting Im Sol still happened even if in a different way than the original timeline

aw, glad his dad understood

lol she's drunk, how cute

is she gonna forget the confession and kiss? since she's yknow legit drunk. i wonder if ppl made a fuss about it because if it was a bl, this would def have been Discussed in the fandom

ah, ofc she doesn't rmr

bruh aghh it's like I can see where this is going with her listening to the recording + Taesung spotting her + Sunjae being far enough behind that he'll see them (+ he thinks he confessed last night and expects her to remember the kiss too)

i'm gonna kill somebody, she didn't even pause so the "I like you" is just playing with nobody to hear

omg travelling to original timeline

girl what?! how could you say you want to date Taesung or is that not really happening or like what's going onnnnn

Ep 4 (July 7)

Oh, Sunjae had not only saved her but was at the hospital too. He'd liked her throughout his high school time i guess but what about that final night, did he recognize her even then?

oh, he had. wild

ohhh she gave him a bunch of the candy that night that she had given him the very first time when she mistook him for a mailman

hmm okay so the Sunjae POV we got of that night was the original timeline before Sol's time travel thing, right? because the photo wasn't there? and the timeline that Sol's waking up in right now is slightly different based on what she had done?

ok the future had indeed changed

omg what the hell, why did that timeline's Sol reject Sunjae like that, like in this timeline, they were friends??? unless Sunjae was being a creep fr

i got spoiled about she can come back 3 times but how does she know only 1 time is left? also it's just been 10 days?! so why did Sol react like that, wtf

ah, so it's like she's kinda fighting with her 19-year-old self from the past who's in love with Taesung? and doesn't know Sunjae?!?! weird...

so the 19-year-old Sol thought she was possessed because her memory from when older-Sol came back was missing... interesting and complicating

lmfaoo exactly, I was saying she could stop time but shouting out future facts. hilarious to have her shouting celeb marriages

plsss how's she asleep on his floor

"i don't make friends with girls. how can a girl and a guy be friends?" alright lol.

why do we have Hyunjoo pooping her pants and that furthering her romance (?) with Sol's brother come onnn

ah, Taesung mommy issues and feelings of abandonment

yknow I do like Taesung and Im Sol's banter and back-and-forth

i'm cryinggggg, not young-Sol's birthday event for Taesung

it's suchhh a long song, i'm dying. and young Sol's fashion pls

hehe Sol telling Taesung how to treat young-Sol is cute actually

so many weird men... that taxi that went away? and now this guy...

is this Sol's accident but in this timeline?

ah, Sol realizing that Sunjae had saved her

okay, in that original timeline, i thought they just called a random number maybe and was confused and ig that's true but Sunjae specifically called Im Sol's number? or what? how'd he know it? and he knew that it was her he was talking to.

Ep 5 (July 7)

i wonder how the accident happened the first time and why Sunjae was there back then

this bra returning scene reminds me of True Beauty but I can't remember what Suho was trying to give Im Jukyeong, idk why I keep thinking pads??

okay i was gonna be tormented, so I skimmed and it's on ep 2 of True Beauty. She accidentally gave Suho a bag that said "thanks for keeping my bare face a secret" but he hadn't recognized her, so to get it back, she'd said that it has pads (i remembered this part at least)

cryingggg at her being like hmm he said he can't be friends with girls, so all those "just friends" rumours with girls were all real romances (as idol Sunjae). anyway i doubt it bc he seemed to forever be in love with her even over a decade later and that's just a trope I'm gonna have to get used to.

yesss i love a girl saving a guy from the common motorcycle/car trope and also girl kabadoning guy

Sol is cute trying to block all mentions of the swimming Olympics from Sunjae but plsss it's all becoming romantic moments and also iffy when you think about young-Sol having a boyfriend

oh, cop mentioning burying a body... i think I've heard that this show has a serial killer

in the original timeline, the taxi driver with the key indeed did something? but this time the other guy got there? and he's the serial killer or what

damn, taxi driver has Sol's flip phone

not Sol's brother and Sunjae meeting but Sunjae being punished for giving Sol alcohol

cryinggg Sunjae being curious and looking at Taesung's profile but he finds out

pls Sunjae getting mad at Sol's inability to bike reminds me of Tinn yelling at Gun about not knowing any math (My School President). when even the down bad secret crush bearing Sunjae and Tinn lose their minds teaching Sol and Gun lmfao

girl, why is Sunjae buying the same jacket as Taesung T.T but ig they're gonna have him fill in for the vocal... but he's not gonna fill in for Taesung

how humiliating to run into Taesung just as Sunjae bought and wore the bright red jacket because Taesung owns it too yikesss

and that's how the eclipse happened, though Taesung isn't in it for much longer i guess?

Taesung watching Sol watch Sunjae perform reminds me of Twinkling Watermelon

oh, intense yelling from Sol

double whammy of hearing the confession recording finally and Sunjae also telling her to break up with Taesung at the same time

Ep 6 (July 8)

ah, I’m Sol broke up with Taesung but I don’t know if that’s the end of it… but she also knows Sunjae’s confession…

sunjae is quite fun to watch like his despair at his “breakup with taesung” thing going wrong vs joy when taesung got broken up with

Sol’s brother does bother me, why is he so annoying

pls both Sunjae and Sol holding back to appear cool/not “shake the other’s heart” aghhh

Taesung’s “Oh, I think I liked you a lot” is funny

not Taesung getting into a car crash, damn it

so is Sep 1 the day her accident happens? I don’t remember the date. is it gonna happen again even though the bridge thing already happened? or is it a different thing?

Taesung’s dad (?) Kim cop is investigating the case of a he dead bod?

nooo now he has their address bc of grandma

oh, Sunjae confession

Taesung in hospital but his dad doesn’t visit and his friend doesn’t believe in him + he calls Sunjae to let him know that Sol’s mother is at the hospital, oh man

aw mannn Sol rejecting Sunjae because she knows she’s not in the right timeline and is gonna have to leave soon etc. does she realize she’s the one he liked in the original timeline too? he’s talking about liking the rain and on the original timeline radio show he also mentioned it

not having to take an umbrella to Sunjae on the day of Sol’s accident! and after she almost stayed home all day

omg she’s realizing right now that she was his first love back then too and she didn’t “confuse him”

tbf maybe this mans would’ve gotten her even if she didn’t leave right then. a fucking kidnapping

omg this taxi fucker really took her Again D:

Ep 7 (July 8)

oh on that original accident too Sol missed her stop on the bus and Sunjae was waiting with her in the bus, that’s how he was there on the time of her accident on save her

i’m watching this on the subway on my commute to/from work but there are two people talking in korean beside me and i feel awkward watching a kdrama beside them lol

okay they left a couple minutes later

oh at this bridge where her original accident happened is where she dropped that watch and the first time she time travelled, right?

omg who the hell grabbed her in this timeline? bc taxi driver was in the taxi still

good job to sunjae for connecting everything and figuring out the reservoir lmfao

ah, she went back to her time again and the young-Sol is back but also that's kind of oh no in a way, though Sunjae's clever i wonder if he'll be able to figure it out?

i knew from pics i saw that she can use her lefts in the future

Sunjae survived too

pls not her getting mistaken for a sasaeng, i don't even wanna watch anymore

what a different life

damn, young-Sol had another kidnapping a year later?

oh naurrr is Sunjae doing the "who are you? do we know each other?" thing because young-Sol did this to him after he helped her with the kidnapper?

oh he's not even here, it was a scenario in her head lol

lmfao crying, this Sunjae lovesss the attention and fame (though not the stalking)

the shenanigans of them justtt missing each other every time

i can't believe we're getting random enemies-to-lovers right now, especially with them texting each other antagonistically, this is soooo fun

i seriously need to go to sleep but ahh

owww

oh, the concert didn't happen

ah, and they met on the bridge again

35 minutes after my bedtime already, gonna take a while to fall asleep too, whelp

Ep 8 (July 9)

omg Sunjae got the time capsule egg before it got torn down and he even waited on Jan 1, 2023 fully expecting her to come - and she did, so why didn’t they meet?

and Sunjae got the watch from the time capsule

hmmm would he happen to travel back in time at all? bc she travelled back with his watch and maybe he can travel back with her watch?? esp if smth happens to her idk

lmfao pls not the hotel where they can be alone together

but also he’s an idol going with a random girl lmfao

i loveeeee Sol omg she’s so funny and endearing as she’s talking about how she didn’t mean they should have a passionate night and also mentions that they had crushes on each other in a throwaway line but she doesn’t wanna skip intros and get to the conclusion But she’s not judging sunjae for thinking that, they just have different values lmfao what a cutie but sunjae’s gonna act clueless like oh? what were you thinking as if he doesn’t know what this insinuates

i loveeee celeb/non-celeb romance esp when it actually shows the reporters and rumours and fans and such and how they can affect/limit the relationship

he has such a big house why not hide the cut out in some random storage room omg

pls and now Sunjae thinks she plans to stay the night and have sex lmfao

true Inhyuk would be like what the hell, Sunjae can’t fall for Im Sol again!!

Taesung?

Inhyuk talking about how Sunjae’s liked only Im Sol this whole time and kept going back to her old house whenever he was drunk while Sol can hearrrrr

ah, she confessed that she used to like him too

i kept being nervous that Taesung would somehow be in the house but Sunjae/Sol first kiss!

isn't it crazy fr, after 15 years you finally meet again and this time the girl you've loved forever confesses back and you kisssss and it's not a shitty one either

what the hell, the fuckass taxi driver is here too? that was indeed Taesung before right or did i mistake taxi driver for Taesung, I hope not

"Even if somebody sent me back to the past, I would never gamble with my future" whelp Hyunjoo, don't foreshadow too hard

the stalker makes me nervous both in terms of what if that person was the person who was knocking or whatever the night Sunjae died and also what if she finds out that Sunjae's dating Sol and does something to either of them?

okayyyy, so the taxi driver mans went and attacked Sunjae, was it the same thing in the previous iterations too?

I listened to the Afternoona Soju podcast episode and learned about 2 scenes: Sunjae and Taesung drink and do karaoke together and cuddle to sleep, and Sunjae's speech envelope + Sol's resignation letter get swapped so he ends up saying that out loud as a speech

Ep 9 (July 9)

so as hinted, a year after she came back to the current timeline, in the young timeline 2009, the taxi guy kidnapped Im Sol again and Sunjae saved her again and that's what caused that guy to get jailed until now

i loveee 2009 freshman Sol's hair, beautifully bangs and wavy hair

Hyunjoo's joyoush "hmm" and nod at 33:50 after Sol asks her if it was her idea is sooooo good omg i replayed several times

omg, the sudden "are you really from the future?" that had like no build-up, so I was surprised hehe

ahhh they kissed accidentally ofc they did, ig we'll see Sunjae and Sol married by the end?

Ep 10 (July 10)

ah, makes sense that Sunjae wouldn’t actually believe the time travel stuff oof

pls hiding under the table is so T.T

oh she’s telling Taesung about the time travel too

i like it when in a love triangle the guys try to impress the family like now with the flooding and in Ture Beauty with the dumplings but it’s annoying when they let it get the best of them and don’t care about what’s actually happening like why are you up arguing and making a mess instead of helping clean up wtf

i do like Sunjae Taesung antagonizing when it’s like verbal and witty not physical fights

oof Taesung telling Sunjae that he shouldn’t even be jealous of him bc Sol clearly likes Sunjae

Superstar K vs going to the states

ah, he digs up the time capsule and figures out that he dies (possibly because of trying to protect Sol) that time in the future

oh, the billboards changed and Eclipse is releasing their new album instead of Sunjae’s stabbing hmm i can’t tell bc im watching on my phone but is Sunjae in that photo?

Ep 11 (July 10)

ARE THEY GONNA GET BACK REFUNDS FOR THE PLANE AND THE REHABILITATION? and are they gonna get the luggage back?!

not this kissing gossip lmfao

yknpw technically this is a noona romance in this timeline 3x Sol x 20 Sunjae (krn age)

the “should we roll back another minute? if you give me another chance, i’ll do my best” thing is soooo cute like Sunjae fr was just going for the remote not the kiss like Sol thought

i’m crying from second hand embarrassment at the parents and brother finding them like this and am dreading the hundreds of condoms reveal T.T plssss and even Basic instincts got brought up again and Sunjae having to cover Im Sol’s ears i cannotttttt, how humiliating

the condoms flying out like this is really and truly killing me i can’t watch fuckkk if i was sunjae i would have to leave move away say good bye to Sol like life death and time could not make me stop loving you but this… in front your family? yeah i’d learn to live

lmfao the family meeting was very funny

he sings sonagi for her on a stage ahhh first of all he’d died but she gets to see him sing again + knows it’s about her this time

ah this fucking killer mans

Ep 12 (July 10)

ofc both Sol and Sunjae are gonna try to stop the murderer

lol will Sunjae get jealous of In Hyuk lmao

i can't watch this toilet water nothing pls at least use the water that's stored in the tank of the toilet not in the fucking bowlll

is the institution just that they made out? because i don't think they had sex?

lmfao maybe now the MIL and FIL will finally get along

omg, she's pretending to have gone back so that Sunjae doesn't stay with her at this place where the attacker's gonna come

oh also i'd figured out the 3 lives thing a while back btw i'd been like how does she know w/ certainty that she has 3 chances but the clock said 3, then 2, and now it's at 1

Ep 13 (July 11)

just go so frustrated that Youngsoo figured out that Sol was setting a trap bc that guy put his hand on her to check but Sol ended up shouting for Detective Kim eughhh such planning and yet

and Sunjae runs into him right then ofc

not Sunjae getting knifed! and falling off he cliff!!!

oh, Sol returned

girl where the hell is Sunjae like nice to see Sol’s life and Taesung but c’mon

i got spoiled about the letter switching and Sunjae giving actor award speech from Sol’s resignation letter so i don’t have like The Suspence for this

ohhh Sunjae’s watch also became a time machine

oh my godddd his time machine also takes Sol back in time for some reason and she literally cuts it off right at the beginning?!?! doesn’t give him the umbrella in the rain

curious about how they’ll explain the killer stuff in the past if Sunjae’s not there to save Sol?

Ep 14 (July 11)

so Sol and family just move away soon after like Sunjae still has his sling? yknow what let me not think too much

lolol articles coming out. i didn’t realize he was just gonna be mc-ing

ahhh Ryu Sun Jae is gonna be acting in Im Sol’s script?!

ouch the script hurts (though she’s plagiarizing so hard from alternate timeline Sunjae!!)

both of them busy trying to reject the script/actor but omg poor Sol. it sucks so bad to be the one who remembers, like when Sunjae used to remember while young Sol forgot and now thisssss after everything

another enemies to lovers arc

okay i was wondering how we’d go back to Sunjae knowing but ig he’ll get dreams and memories

oh, the murderer is gonna attack the sasaeng girl instead?

Sunjae is just Meant to be obsessed with Sol in every timeline ig

yaas the lottery tickets truly a must for a fucking time travel anything

ah the ferris wheel

Ep 15 (July 11)

the taxi driver can’t be obsessed w Sol in this timeline too right esp bc it’s been 15 years since his interest in the original tl

not Sol’s mom trying to set Sol up with sunjae now loll how the tables have turned

lmfao this time it’s Sunjae hiding from Sol when usually it was the other way around in the past timelines

oh, the killer is actually targeting Sunjae straight up this time maybe, not Sol first

Sunjae’s memory coming back in flashes

oh, he's got it all back

omg dramatic. killer guy almost got Sunjae again and then for a second I got nervous that Taesung was gonna crash like the other way so that killer T-bones his car

Ep 16 (July 11)

last ep!! 1h 19 mins instead of the usual 61-63 mins

killer dies just like that

ahh meeting again after remembering

"because he died, somebody else might get to live"

they kiss pretty nice

the parents do make me laugh, the dad being like hah i know Sunjae chose a good, beautiful girl to date while the mother's like hah i know she's no beauty

ah, marriage and wedding, cute

Overall:

A fun show with a fun concept and great acting + romance. It was funny and delightful most of the time, there was a kind of killer/suspense aspect but that wasn't really ever the Focus, Sunjae being killed was the focus; similarly, they didn't thoroughly explain the time travel because the mechanics wasn't the focus, Sol going back was the focus.

I liked Sunjae and Sol together and it was fun seeing how Sunjae was slightly different in the different timelines lol I liked seeing the couple on high school, college, as idol!Sunjae and actor!Sunjae. It did feel a bit like consistency was lost in their relationship but that was the point i guess. It was a very romantic concept, the way they were falling in love in every timeline.

Everything about it was good and I was engaged, I just don’t think I’d think about it much though. Kinda reminds me of When I Fly Towards You c-drama in that way; a cute youthful romance drama but I'm not hung up on it. At least it kept me company during my commute of the first week at my new internship.

Rating: 7/10

[newyorkkiss]

135, 119, 100 :D

100: whats your most listened to playlist?

my general listening diary which i've been curating since i was 16 lol

135: what’s a music pet peeve of yours?

hm. intentional record crackling on a track. awful stuff, especially if it actually runs throughout and you can hear it. really can't stand it. there's defs other ones but that one just seems to be the one on my mind rn

119: What music did you grow up on?

putting this last bc i wnna put a post cut here cuz im just gonna go on awhile SORRY this one means a bit.

i'm putting * next to my all time albums here

for the first 13 years of my life, i would say it's 70/80s chart hits through my parents, and modern pop radio on my own. mostly the latter. the first song i ever became aware of was nelly furtado's maneater when i was 5. most of what i really did grow up around was pop radio like your generic local station shit. then my parents got cable when i was 7 which introduced me to more... curated things? i'm gonna speak in australian pay tv networks and artists here i'm sorry i hate speaking like this. but [v] (may it rest in peace for its shuttering is easily one of the worst losses i've ever experienced) was like my slow awakening to my more "alternative" tastes than the general packaged pop i'd been so used to at that point, in the way it was mostly just 2008-12 peak era (imo) triple j buzz bands and that kind of thing. artists i really remember getting into that time because of that were the presets – who'd just released apocalypso* at this point – and ladyhawke* – who had just released her self titled debut (another all timer.) very related is that modular (the label that issued these albums, and of tame impala fame) genuinely had some fucking top tier albums out in 2008, like van she's v and another all timer and pitchfork best new album in ghost colours* by cut copy. insane year for them, but back to me. i was really getting into listening to the weekly top 40 on radio around this time too. my local station was mostly syndicated programming from 2day from a certain hour. like their usual weekdaily thing was their morning show which i have never heard for some reason, then it was just local in house selected garbage that i have permanently seered into my mind now until 3 when they started the pre-record syndicated stuff like hamish and andy or kyle and jackie o. which after 5pm is when The Fucking Goods happened and you got the ill-fated hot 30 which was pretty much became a ritual thing for me when i was 9 until it was canceled when i was 11. on weekends i would listen to my beloved take 40 which i continued doing up until i was 12 and gained a proper internet connection. when i think back on this time period it it's kinda crazy how much music i was listening to and the fact it was just something i did and didn't know anybody else who was like crazy deep in music like this. but it did give me my extensive knowledge of 2000s/early 2010s popular music which i've been curating in a playlist since i was 15 that was just a comfort list turned mutant.

but the turning point in my taste came when i was 12 and got an non-poor person internet connection aka wifi, an ipad and a dream. at this point i was slowly moving away from charts and into full albums – something i never really did. one of the first albums i owned was rogue trader's here comes the drums* and that until katy perry's teenage dream were like the only albums i'd heard back to back. first album i brought in 2013 was ellie goulding's halcyon* and i pretty much burnt it to my pc and listened to it and it only for like 6 months of the year, before buying calvin harris' 18 months* on itunes when they did that u have 3 singles from this album u can buy the rest for $6 thing. by this time i was starting to get on socials and drift into fandom. one of the first ones was dan & phil who are big fans of muse and spoke about how origin of symmetry* is their fave album by them and i was like, damn i gotta check this out. from that point onwards for another like 6 months was the only album and first discogs ever sought out and listened to. through being in that fandom i started getting into music circles which happened right at the biggest turning point of my life. by mid 2014 i'd started to venture into the 2014 tumblr-core stuff; sky ferreira, vampire weekend, the strokes, grimes and twigs, and my first super hyperfixated musical act, foster the people. i was on indie twitter by this point and consumed by it and had completely stopped and refused to listen to top 40 radio which i still don't do. by 2015 i'd basically crafted my alternative taste and begun collecting vinyl. here's my top artists from my old last.fm to illustrate where i am as a 14 year old:

it pretty much stayed like this for somewhat unchanged until 2017 when i got a spotify subscription and started listening to radiohead a fair bit lol. by early 2018 i was starting to listen to fantano-core stuff and by extension got into post-punk, iceage-ajacent bands which led me to posh isolation and started my interest in noise/ambient stuff. late 2019 i started listening to the brixton windmill-ajacent bands like black midi and bc,nr and started using rateyourmusic and just discovering things over time.

im sorry that this is so long and i dont expect anybody to read this lmao 😭

[skimblyshanks]

@hilli98215 made a great post summarizing a good handful of issues with a certain Lindsay Ellis review. I was gonna share my thoughts in a reblog but it got too long for comfort, so I'm posting it here:

I have to wonder if she only made this video bc it was the hot thing to dunk on CATS. I don't believe she's ever had any real interest in the show, before or after this video, and I'd argue it shows. She's passionate abt Les Mis and Phantom, theyre brought up often in other videos, but I feel like "Why is Cats" wasn't coming from a point of genuine analysis and curiosity, but to follow a trend in such a way that it seemed more balanced while missing any real investment in the show as a whole.

And I think that shows true, especially, as you said, in her tone. She still views CATS as a "lesser" musical (she and most of the theatre community at large), and so it feels like her appreciation of the stage show is more that...it's better than the movie to her. That's not some remarkable move of graciousness on her part, plenty of other backhanded critics were fast to put the stage version over the film; that doesn't stop them from clearly holding disdain for the show as a whole.

There doesn't seem to be that true level of respect. And honestly, with a name like "why is CATS," I'd gone in hoping that, in truth, minimal time would be spent on the movie, and instead we'd be looking at why the stage version works so well with so many people; why it's run p much non-stop around the world since it opened, and maybe a look at criticisms of the movie to figure out what part of the appeal was lost in translation.

Especially since, you know, actually reaching out to more of the actual fanbase and researching its history would probably have helped stop segments like "movie mistoffelees is heteronormative", because she would have seen that Mistoffelees/queen ships, especially Mistoffelees/Victoria, have always had a presence in fandom.

but it wasn't about that. It wasn't about answering "who likes CATS, and why" it wasn't about "Do fans of the stage version have issues with this version, too? What are they and why?" It wasn't an exploration of an almost 40 year old fan base to see just why this show is such a universal phenomena, because she probably didn't want to know more and understand the appeal in the first place, she wanted to point and laugh at the movie she didn't like adapting a musical she didn't like while presenting it as almost objective fact that the movie is bad.

Her tone was condescending because she was condescending; she presents incomplete and flawed arguments bc she doesn't get the draw of the original piece. She can research the history and parrot it back just fine, but that doesn't mean she necessarily gets what didn't click for a lot of ppl moving from stage to screen. The same thing carries over to the disregard of the performers and choreographer. Any level of research into the fan community (and like, the current history of the show) would have let her know that

A.) so many of the cast are alumni of/were currently in the show, and

B.) Andy's choreography was already divisive when it was partially implemented in the revival, a lot of ppl are going to raise a fuss abt it being completely new again.

Her lack of genuine interest in the show also kinda shows in critique of appearances; there's not a real understanding of how hard it is to not make these characters creepy onstage, and how near impossible it had to have been to figure out new designs from scratch, and how unrealistic it ultimately is, given what we KNOW abt VFX's insane time crunch, to expect a whole bunch of easily distinguishable looks for background cats. It's a flawed video bc it's a cash grab video. She knew what ppl wanted to hear, came in not caring for or about the show as a whole, and made a video to reach the conclusion ppl wanted to hear. A valid question was raised in the beginning: "who likes CATS?" If this was a video she wanted to do beyond "hating on CATS is popular and with my usual production quality I will read as less biased" she would have taken the gulp and looked into the fandom. and that would likely have been more of the video. But it wasn't, and that wasn't her motivation.

[1000-directions]

rbb because it gave me a heart attack #trauma and also ughhHhhHhhhh bc mood

lolllllll people in marvel fandom do NOT understand how some of us suffer when they abbreviate their reverse big bang as rbb!!!

this was the original draft of my winterhawk reverse big bang where clint is a musician and bucky is a trust fund kid who ends up joining the army or something and they’re boyfriends and then they break up and eventually get back together and it’s told partly in flashbacks and it was just getting TOO complicated to write and felt joyless and was making me completely miserable, so i threw it out after 2500 words and wrote winterhawk punks in love instead, which was the correct choice.

i will never finish it, but here is what i’ve got in case anyone is interested:

There are a lot of different things Clint could have done with his life.

Well, no. That’s a bit of an exaggeration.

But there are several things Clint could have done with his life. Multiple things. More than one thing.

But he doesn’t think any of those other things would have ever made him as happy and crazy and pissed-off and satisfied as singing does.

Whenever anyone asks, he’s very careful to call himself a writer. A composer. A creator. A musician. Like the making of the thing is the part that motivates him. Like performing is just an afterthought. Like singing is just something he has to do so the music makes sense. Because he knows he’s not a great singer. He’s passable. He can keep a beat and hit all the notes in his limited range, and he gets just enough inflection and passion into the words to make people feel a thing, sometimes.

He’s good at the writing. He’s good at the deceptively simple arrangements. His voice is the least he has to offer, and he knows it, and it feels kind of foolish and indulgent to especially savor the part that he’s objectively the worst at. But Christ, he loves doing it, and he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

*

The two of them had ditched work early, saving up all their smoke breaks until it was suddenly 2:40, and the manager had no choice but to cut them loose. And even though they had permission, it felt like getting away with something, and Clint twisted his fingers into Bucky’s grasp as they ran down the sidewalk together. Clint darted recklessly into the intersection, and Bucky jerked him back at the last second as a truck came barrelling past, honking furiously at the two of them. And it was so close to being bad, but it was fine, fine, fine, and Clint laughed as Bucky shook his head, and Clint linked his arms around Bucky’s neck and kissed him right there in the middle of the street.

They were twenty, and they were in love. And nothing was serious but that.

It was a hot summer at the shore, and they were living in a shitty beach house with three other friends. They spent their mornings and afternoons scooping ice cream at a popular local shop that was more famous than good. And then at night, they’d go drinking at the scummier bars that were a little more lax on carding, or they’d build a bonfire on the beach and drink Yuenglings purchased with Clint’s really good fake ID. And inevitably, someone would have an acoustic guitar, and someone would start shouting out requests, and they’d get drunker and noisier as the night went on.

And then Clint would grab Bucky’s hand with a mischievous glint in his eyes, and they’d strip down to nothing and run into the ocean in the dark, screaming down the moon. And then they’d huddle together in one towel, letting the fire dry their hair until it was curly and crispy. And then they’d all stomp out the fire and gather up the red Solo cups, and Bucky and Clint would push their two futons together into one rickety big bed, and they would fall asleep in each others’ arms, salty and sandy and worn out.

Bucky woke up early most days to go for a run. He was in the Army Reserves, and he had to stay in shape, and Clint certainly wasn’t complaining about what the workouts did for his boyfriend’s physique. Clint was starting at technical school in the fall, studying to be an audio mixer. Things would be changing soon, but not just then.

That summer, time was lazy and endless. Bucky would come back from his run and lay his sweaty body down on top of Clint’s, kissing him awake, and they’d rub off against each other until they both came. Or they’d dart away from their friends in the middle of dinner, running up to their room and barely getting the door locked before Clint was shoving down Bucky’s pants to get his mouth on his cock.

And some nights, they were painstakingly tender, just kissing for what felt like hours before they even took their clothes off. Bucky liked things a little rough, and Clint liked things a little sweet, and they’d found something in the middle that was perfect for both of them.

“Just fucking hold me down and make me feel it, Clint,” Bucky would say sometimes, and Clint would kiss his jaw and tug his hair a little and fuck into him harder until Bucky was crying out beneath him.

It was their first summer, and everything was perfect.

*

At thirty, Clint is starting to fall into the sorts of routines that a younger version of himself would have detested.

Even worse...he kinda likes it.

But there’s just something soothing and comforting about knowing what’s ahead. Sure, it’s romantic to think about being a starving artist, but the reality of it wasn’t so sexy. Turns out that if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. And sometimes in the music industry, you don’t get paid even when you do work. So Clint works his ass off. All the time. He’s still riding a bubble, and he’s gonna ride the hell out of it until it breaks.

He wakes up, and he makes coffee. He fills his travel mug, and he and Lucky take a lazy walk through the park. Clint listens to the birds chirp, and he slurps his coffee, and he hides behind his sunglasses and doesn’t make eye contact with any of his well-meaning neighbors. Too early for that shit.

He goes back home, and Lucky inevitably fucks off somewhere to nap while Clint stretches. He’d tried meditation, but he can’t bear being quite that alone with his own thoughts. He can be alone with his body, though. He runs through his muscle groups, mindfully and thoughtfully working out the best way to stretch his sternocleidomastoid or his serratus anterior. He likes how he feels afterwards, all loose and wiggly, and it puts him in a good frame of mind for a morning listening session.

He has a second cup of coffee in his sunroom while he listens to the playback from the previous day. He combs through voicenotes and reads old journals, idly recalling stories about himself. He doesn’t create anything just yet. He listens with an open mind. And then he listens a second time, and he absorbs, and he makes notes about what he likes or how something could be different.

And then he sets a timer for forty minutes while he has lunch in front of the TV, and he fucks around on his email for a bit, and sometimes if he eats real fast he jerks off. And sometimes if he’s been seeing someone, he texts them, catches up, makes plans for later. Sometimes he plays video games. Sometimes he remembers to water his plants.

(Mostly, he jerks off.)

And then it’s back to work in the afternoon. More coffee. More listening, but this time with editing, rerecording, rewriting. He creates new voicenotes. He jots down new lyrics. He thinks about things he wants to talk about someday that he’s not ready to talk about now.

And then in the late afternoon, he ventures out of the house again. He goes to a cafe, or he grabs some more coffee, or he goes to the bank or the grocery store or the mall. And he exists among people, the way his therapist told him to. And he smiles at three strangers, and he overhears people’s conversations, and he reminds himself that there is an entire universe outside his head, just like there’s an entire universe inside of it.

And then he goes home, makes dinner, jerks off, swaps his coffee for whiskey, waits until he gets really, really tired, and then…

Then he fucking sings.

*

They got the band name from one of the weird, macabre love poems that Clint was always painstakingly copying down into his notebooks, trying to record the bits of weird beauty he saw in the world that mirrored the strangeness he sensed inside of himself. He felt less alone to see strangeness in others.

My darling, I will love you until the winter hawk cleans my bones And in her desperation, she will discover that my flesh only tastes of you

“It’s so gross,” Bucky had said with a curious sort of awe, and Clint felt so vulnerable in the silence that followed, because it was gross, but it was important to him.

Clint wanted to be so fucking in love that it chewed him up. He wanted love to shred him with her talons. And he could imagine himself getting there with Bucky. He thought they could be epic. He was still holding back some secret parts of himself, but if he let those go, he thought he could love Bucky so hard that it consumed him and he finally, finally lost himself.

And Bucky kept staring at the words scrawled in Clint’s notebook, traced his fingertip over the blue ink, following the same pattern Clint’s pen had taken as he’d lovingly copied down the words. And there was a furrow in his brow as he read and reread, and just as Clint thought he might explode from the anticipation, Bucky looked up at him with a small smile.

“I get it, I think,” he said slowly. “The desperation, I mean.”

“Yeah?” Clint wasn’t sure he was even breathing anymore, he was so close to losing it.

“The way a predator becomes a scavenger,” Bucky said thoughtfully, and there it was, that nerdy side of Bucky that Clint loved so fiercely. “Taking the scraps if that’s the only choice you have. Being just...so hungry.” He ran his thumb over Clint’s wrist, and Clint shivered.

“Hungry how?” he managed to croak out.

“Feel like I could just eat you up sometimes,” Bucky murmured. “When I first met you, I didn’t think you even liked me at all.”

“I did, though,” Clint protested weakly. “I was crazy about you from that first time I saw you.”

“I didn’t know it,” Bucky said. “Didn’t even know if I really liked boys or not, but I wanted you, and it felt like….” He frowned and looked at his thumb slowing arcing over Clint’s skin. “Felt like it didn’t even matter if you liked me back. Just me liking you was so much. And I would have eaten any scrap of anything you gave me, baby.”

“And now?” Clint asked, and his heart was an out-of-control metronome.

“Same thing now,” Bucky said, chewing on his lip. “Any bit of you I could have. I’d eat up all you gave me and I’d starve for more before I wanted a single damn bite of anyone else.”

“I love you,” Clint had whispered then, the first time he’d said those words out loud to anyone.

“I love you, too,” Bucky had replied, a hopeful smile breaking across his face and scrunching up his eyes, and Clint was so terrified and relieved and happy that he could barely stand it.

They pushed their mouths together and tried to kiss, but neither of them could stop grinning long enough to make it work.

*

Clint goes to therapy once a month. He takes his Lexapro every night. He has a notebook full of therapy homework, and he makes lists of his accomplishments and his failures, and when he goes to therapy, he shows up with an agenda. He is working to fix multiple parts of his life. He makes progress in different areas, a step on one path, a leap on another, a little stumble here. He’s an amoeba, and his pseudopods creep towards his goals, engulfing and consuming one after the other, slow and steady.

Get a dog? Check.

Learn how to cook healthy(ish) meals? Check.

Spend more time outside? Check.

Stop being so hateful towards myself? Check(ish).

Learn how to have sex with someone without falling in love with him? Check.

Learn how to have sex with someone without immediately thinking of Bucky afterwards?

Well.

It’s a work in progress.

*

Something flashbacky about being deaf

*

Clint’s newest album is called Mono Songs for a Stereo World, and all he’s finished so far is the title and the concept.

He connected with Tony Stark at SxSW last year and drunkenly talked his ear off about his idea to create songs for people with hearing conditions, mixed specifically to accommodate their abilities. He’d woken up the next morning with a raging hangover and a three minute voicemail from Tony describing the prototype software he’d slapped together. And now they’re...not exactly partners, but Clint comes up with ideas, and Tony turns them into reality.

And now Clint has all the technology he needs to create a fully customizable digital album. Fans will be directed to a website that tests their hearing, determines what wavelengths they can detect at which volumes, and then Tony’s tech will generate a downloadable version of Clint’s album that sits perfectly within their range of hearing. It works flawlessly. They’re probably not going to make much money off of it, but Clint’s been working his whole life towards something like this, and he can’t believe how close he finally is.

So all he needs to do is, like. Find some inspiration somewhere and write ten to twelve songs and then record all of them and mix them once and then feed them into Tony’s algorithm and re-mix the songs and then do maybe 40 test mixes on each one.

Simple, really.

*

It was easy for the two of them to form a band. Clint was always writing his weird poetry, and Bucky loved it. Loved the sound of his voice wrapping around the shapes of his words. And Bucky was good enough with a guitar, and it was just one more way for them to be together. It just made sense.

They called the band Winterhawk, and sure, Clint probably always took it a little more seriously than Bucky did, but that was Clint. He threw himself into everything like that back then, reckless and headstrong and passionate and unafraid. He loved Bucky so much, and he loved the band so much, and Bucky loved him and the band, too. Maybe just a little less, but still plenty enough for Clint.

Summer ended, and they found a reasonably priced studio apartment in the city. Bucky paid most of the rent, but he had a trust fund he was still working his way through before his parents disinherited him, plus he made great tips bartending.

wip title game

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2019

The last list, for now. It’s been a wild ride.

Not the best of these lists, but some really refreshing stuff charted that year, and what was good was super good. And also, here’s a barely elligible #1 that nobody seemed to care about for some reason.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

In 2019, my finger was fixed, I dropkicked depression in the garbage bin (with a little help from Eurovision because it was super good and full of hilarious shit), got married, and went on a roadtrip on Vancouver Island (BC, Canada), and that was my first real travel in 13 years. Met a lot of great people, seen amazing places, trees, bears and whales. And planes are also part of the adventure when you’re not used to them (you can watch movies on little screens from your seat now?? I had no idea. I watched so many movies). It was very exciting.

I also saw VNV Nation live in February, for the third time in six years. This time I had enough budget to buy a tshirt. I wasn’t expecting that concert to be even better than the previous two. At that point the new album had only been out for a couple of months and we still knew the lyrics of most of the new songs and Ronan’s face was constantly broadcasting a kind of “...........how” expression (face it guys, we like you. A lot). And they finished with All Of Our Sins and let me tell you, half the club was ready to start a revolution by the time that was over. Super intense.

Ok. 2019 albums! First, let’s talk about some negative things. Coldplay released Everyday Life at the end of the year. It was... uh. It was basically how I stopped loving their new stuff. That’s a very sad conclusion (for now) to this saga. This is exactly what I feared would have happened after Viva La Vida, aka them trying to go back to their earlier sound - except in the meantime we’ve got three fantastic albums with songs full of energy and joy. So I’m not too mad about this, just disappointed.

Within Temptation released Resist, and it wasn’t very good either, but I appreciated the general aesthetic of it. More SF-themed albums in symphonic metal, please. NF released The Search and while I’m still not a fan there’s a song on it that would have been #1 on this list if it had been elligible, so that’s something. And Carly Rae Jepsen released Dedicated and it was super good so why isn’t she getting new hits. Why. It feels unfair. Oh, and Avantasia made Moonglow and that’s the first time I’ve cared about their stuff in like a decade or so. Ghost In The Moon is super good, check it out.

But the big event of the year music-wise, as far as I’m concerned, was the return of two bands I thought we had lost forever. Of course My Chemical Romance reformed, but they don’t have new music yet, so the main event for this post is the return of Tool with Fear Inoculum. It’s not even their best album, but having a pretty good new Tool album in the year of our lord 2019 wasn’t at all something I was counting on. Of course, the hardcore fans are still as insufferable as ever (insert the “you need a pretty high IQ” copypasta here), but it didn’t spoil my enjoyment of it. Come on! Their first album in 13 years! 80 minutes of hypnotic heavy rhythms and weird shit, an album that trolled me when I opened it by playing a music video while I was looking somewhere else (yeah I jumped), and they even managed to land a track for one week on the US hot 100! Again, Tool! On the hot 100! in 2019! Unbelievable. Are we starting to return to the good timeline? I certainly hope so.

Unelligible songs, now. The Search by NF would have topped this list super easily. Might be one of the songs I listened to the most in 2019, actually. Now That I Found You by Carly Rae Jepsen, again, should have been a hit, and I beg you to watch this music video if you’ve never seen it. The 1975 released the super unexpected People, which was still good, and also Frail State of Mind. And most unexpected of all, three artists I didn’t care about at all teamed up and made absolute gold: I Think I’m OKAY, by Machine Gun Kelly, YUNGBLUD and Travis Barker. That would have been the second slot on this list if it had been elligible. Or maybe the first, even? Not sure. I’m just so happy this kind of angry but uplifting music is starting to become popular again. I just love everything about this song.

Here’s a short list of honorable mentions!

Roi (Bilal Hassani) - I don’t like this song a lot, but I do like it, I’m glad it was our song for the ESC 2019, and Bilal is a very nice and endearing person, and everyone who disrespects him on twitter is free to come fight me in the pit, where I’m still waiting with that tambourine from my 1992 list.

Con Calma (Daddy Yankee, Katy Perry, Snow) - You already know I liked the original Informer a lot, so I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t pleased to hear this clone of it on the radio.

Breathin’ (Ariana Grande) - Here’s the usual “if I had better taste this would be higher” honorable mention.

Summer Days (Martin Garrix) - In the absence of any new hit song from Macklemore this will do in a pinch.

Circles (Post Malone) - The fact that everyone seems to adore this and I’m over there saying “it’s ok I guess” probably means I will never love Post Malone nor understand the hype about him, and that’s okay, I can live with that.

High Hopes (Panic! At the Disco) - Still elligible. Still good but too borderline annoying to make the list.

How Do You Sleep (Sam Smith) - This year Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I’m LIVING FOR THIS. I certainly hope they continue in that direction.

And now, the list.

10 - La Grenade (Clara Luciani)

US: Not on the list / FR: #55

The only semi-filler on the list. I still like it a lot. Don’t have anything to say about it, though.

9 - Panini (Lil Nas X)

US: #40 / FR: Not on the list

Wasn’t too impressed by this at first and it took a while to grow on me, but the chorus is a nice little earworm, and “hey panini, don’t you be a meanie” has a tendency to pop in my head when I read hateful comments on the internet now. And Lil Nas X is just too endearing to be ignored. We’re so lucky to have someone who became famous so quickly and instantly decided to dress like a Jojo character and have the geekiest music videos possible and still be super nice and humble. We don’t deserve this guy.

8 - Dance Monkey (Tones And I)

US: Not on the list / FR: #6

I’m super glad the US are finally getting on the hype train in 2020 because this is a ton of fun. If the voice was juuuuuust a little less grating this would be even higher. Impossible to get it out of your head and somehow in this case that’s a good thing.

7 - Dancing With a Stranger (Sam Smith & Normani)

US: #14 / FR: Not on the list

As I said in the honorable mentions, Sam Smith pulled a Viva La Vida and decided to stop making boring music all of a sudden and I couldn’t be happier about that. This song is still a bit too calm for my taste most of the time, but when I’m in the right mood, it’s just fantastic.

Again, I hope Sam Smith continues in that direction, because if you had told me a couple of years ago that I would start to like their stuff one day, I would have laughed out loud.

6 - Bad Guy (Billie Eilish)

US: #4 / FR: #16

Duh.

I’m not as enthusiastic about When The Party’s Over as a ton of people are, mostly because, well, it’s a slow emotional song with little to no colour in it and by now you’re already aware I tend to have next to zero interest in that kind of songs. Bad Guy, on the other hand, is half hilarious half scary in equal doses, and even if I’m not super fond of the weird outro, it’s still a fantastic, weird as shit song, and I’m really glad Billie Eilish exists. Can’t wait to see where she goes from there.

I’m super glad this song didn’t come out when I was a teenager myself though. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I would have survived if the musical landscape from 16 years ago had been as depressed as it currently is. Thank god music is slowly getting more energetic again in 2020. Let’s stay on that track.

5 - Hey Look Ma I Made It (Panic! At The Disco)

US: #61 / FR: Not on the list

I follow several music critics on youtube and over the course of 2019, I’ve seen undiluted vitriol and hatred against this song (Spectrum Pulse even made a list of his “worst hit songs” of the decade and put this one at #10! TEN!!). And... I don’t really get where it’s coming from? Maybe I’m too literal-minded to see what the problem is with a sarcastic song saying “look I sold out and now I found success again! And it’s not that great!”. I just think it’s a lot of fun. Thank god Todd put it on his best list, at least we can agree on one thing for once.

It is hilarious that after putting so many Fall Out Boy songs on my lists, the one that I love the most from Panic! is the sellout song. Not sure why this was huge while the even better Say Amen wasn’t, though.

4 - Sunflower (Swae Lee & Post Malone)

US: #2 / FR: Not on the list

I usually don’t get the “chill” songs that tend to be successful these days but this one, unlike most Post Malone songs (bar Circles), has lovely pastel colors and a cloudy texture and it’s a really good vibe. It took several months to grow on me but it sure did.

In about ten years, people will listen to Sunflower and be submerged by nostalgia, mark my words.

3 - Old Town Road (Lil Nas X)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (see, everyone agrees for once)

Everyone on the planet already wrote a thinkpiece about this song and yet I’ve only seen maybe one out of five mentioning, just in passing, that the entire song is based on a Nine Inch Nail track from Ghosts I-IV, superbly re-used to make a weird and insanely catchy country hip hop song out of it. Ghosts has been one of my go-to albums to listen to while I’m painting for about ten years now. I’m saying all this because hearing a track from Ghosts on the radio for months was absolute bliss for me, especially in a new and improved version.

Thank you Lil Nas X for everything you’ve been doing and I wish you a long and successful career. You deserve it. I love this and I love you.

2 - Bury A Friend (Billie Eilish)

US: #73 / FR: Not on the list

Hello again, Billie Eilish.

This song is absolutely terrifying and that was before I even saw the music video. This is the soundtrack of your nightmares right there. I’m not even sure it deserves to be so high on the list, but frankly I’m too terrified to care. Maybe Old Town Road should be higher. I don’t know.

Also you have to know that when I’m super tired I go into echolalia mode and automatically repeat words or entire sentences that my brain considers interesting, like “potiron” (pumpkin) or “dramatique” ; and recently, my brain decided “when we all fall asleep, where do we go?”, sung exactly like it’s sung in this song, was its new favorite sentence. So. Hearing yourself saying that to an empty room while you’re drawing or folding clothes or cleaning plates is not a very pleasant experience, and it makes this song extra scary to me.

And now, here’s the last #1 of the last one of these lists (for now), and I’m glad to announce it closes this series of posts in a super fitting way.

Check this out. It’s so perfect in every way.

1 - Walk Me Home (Pink)

US: #99 / FR: Not on the list

Nobody seemed to care about this song over the course of 2019, and it's barely elligible, and I still have no idea why. The music reviewers I follow only either talked about it super briefly when it came out, or not at all. The rare ones who were making top 100s at the end of the year instead of top 10s usually put it somewhere in the middle of their lists. And yet it’s the elligible song I’ve listened to the most.

If you’ve been reading this series of posts for a while now, you probably already know exactly why it’s here, but here’s a quick recap.

The second album I ever bought in my life was Pink’s Missundaztood in 2002, and I loved her music a lot:

I was still really fond of her stuff in 2007:

Then she started to become less interesting and I basically ignored her apart from a brief blip on my radar in 2017:

Meanwhile, in 2012, fun. made some of the best songs of the entire decade before vanishing instantly, and I’ve been mourning them ever since:

And in the middle of last year, here I am, listening to the radio, and suddenly I hear something that sounds exactly like a fun. song, except I’ve never heard it before and it’s sung by a female singer, and, most importantly, it’s 2019 and fun. broke up more than six years earlier. And I’m like, what’s going on. This is so good. What the hell. What is this.

And I hear it a second time weeks later, and I google it, and I discovered that 1) it was Pink singing this, which made it my favorite Pink song in literally more than ten years, and 2) it was, indeed, written by one of the guys from fun., among other people who’s influence is less obvious.

I guess the main lesson from 2019, between newcomers making great music based on dead trends, old groups reforming, and this song, is that nothing’s gone forever, and things you used to enjoy can come back at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected form.

There’s always, always gonna be new music to love, and it’s just a question of time.

Quick note

And with this, these lists are over... for now.

I don’t regret making them even if they were a ton of work, because that was super useful for a lot of different reasons.

They helped me get a better understanding of my own life’s chronology. That may sound stupid but I tend to link events to the music I was listening to at the time, and putting all that music in chronological order helped a lot.

I rediscovered a ton of songs I had completely forgotten about, and a lot of new ones. My playlist is much richer now and I’m happy about that.

I also discovered a few artists I knew nothing about.

It forced me to analyse two depressive episodes in my life and just because everything was now in exact chronological order, it accidentally helped me pinpoint what caused both of them. Better and cheaper than therapy. Impressive.

It made me realise how important some bands and artists had been in my life, and I relistened to some of their catalogue while making these lists. For some it was really obvious (Indochine, Placebo, Mylène Farmer, My Chemical Romance among some others), and for some others (Moby, Linkin Park, Mika in particular), it was a real surprise.

It made me realise that Placebo might have been huge in France but weirdly enough not that huge in the UK nor in the US. It’s especially striking when you look at their wikipedia page in English then in French and realise how detailed the French one is compared to the English one. Can’t believe Sleeping With Ghosts was a n°1 album here and basically nowhere else. That was the band where that discrepency was the most obvious but it wasn’t the only one like that. Really puts stuff in perspective.

It also helped me realise how cyclical popular music is. 1) trends tend to die near the end of every decade and the worst year is usually somewhere between the 8th and the 9th year. 2008 and 2018 tend to confirm this. 2) For the same reason, some new & interesting stuff appears at the beginning of every decade, and reaches its high point of quality between the 2nd and 4th year of the decade. 3) Basically I’m saying we’ve now passed the lowest musical quality in recent memory and 2022-2023 will have some exceptional music.

See you in December 2020. I have no doubt there’s a ton of great music coming up in the near future.

[partyinthemysterymachine]

🌻🌻🌻🌻 🚜 it's like a little garden!

hello lil garden <3 im gonna pick all the floweurs :3

there are like two dreams i remember pretty vividly: one, i had stigmata. (fun fact: i’m a jew) i woke up and i could feel the pain in my palms and feet. i was like. maybe in fifth or sixth grade. everything happens when i’m 13 or 14 because i have exactly zero memory and Bad Brain Disorder Origin Years just makes everything a sad mockery of mashed potatoes

the second dream i remember vividly was essentially that i discovered a door to Wonderland (and listen here u lil shits: i’m not a big Wonderland person, not even a Mad Hatter kinda gal despite whatever my past has said about me, and also my Jervis Tetch is super valid and prob one of the best out there you’re welcome) in this honestly gorgeous old mansion. the kind that’s just. tons of dark wood, narrow halls, winding and yet there’s a lot of natural light, like gorgeous. and i found a door to Wonderland and holy fucking shit

what i would give to actually find a door to that Wonderland, bye y’all peace it’s been a gas but i gotta run

so after i left i wanted to go back, and i had a rough time finding the portal and ok long story short it turned out i had to go deal with a unicorn cult (it was more intense than that but hey, cults amirite) in order to get the reagents to go back to Wonderland and i suddenly found myself falling in a huge cave and the spirit healer from WoW was there so that says a lot about where i was in my life at the time

still tryna go back to Wonderland

i made this guy in Sims4 and he’s really fuckin cute and i named him Lane Morgans. i’m gonna put his tag on this post so maybe you’ll go take a look at him and see how amazing he is but i’m just gonna jerk myself off here too

(also sidenote, Salutations (my farmer in sdv, also top notch) is his uncle and when i wrote up his first char sheet i fucked up his last name bc his last name can’t be Morgans, but i’ll give him another one Soon(tm) (no i won’t))

Lane is a retired rollercoaster engineer who is now writing romance novels. he’s doing absolutely amazingly and his twitter a mess in a good way. he wishes he was Chuck Tingle’s bff. his novels aren’t modeled after Tingle’s (hehe), he writes very well rounded, interesting, and diverse romance that doesn’t take itself seriously. because i do what i want, he’s pretty well known and on several bestsellers.

he’s like in his 40s by now i think and he’s a late transitioner. he’s a divorcee (he and his ex wife are really good friends it’s all good) and he had his son Ellis awhile back (who is just a whole dutch cookie tin of crayons and then some). at a singles mixer he met a gardener who would be his future husband and everything is amazing now

also side braids and ponytails run in the family i guess

(actually Salutations has been side ponytail like all his life and Lane was enchanted by it so he side braids. Salutations is very proud)

i still think about it honestly i was really into keeping up to date with junk food news and food product for a while there but the popular sites were starting to piss me off with their rating systems and reviews like holy entitlement and superiority complex, batman! so i dropped out of it, like the only one that is still super valid is onsecondscoop.com tho it’s been a real hot minute since

i have a lot of my parents’ vinyls and that includes The Beatles white album with some water damage bc i guess my dad knocked something over at some point but also the good stuff like Fleetwood Mac, Linda Ronstadt, America, Seals and Crofts, a lot of musicals, James Taylor, Gordon Lightfoot, Cat Stevens (now Yusuf), Earth, Wind, and Fire, Marvin Gaye and more!!! (and i left a whole shitload in chicago too) and it’s very telling about my musical tastes. 

i had ordered Arctic Monkeys’s AM album and it skipped on No. 1 Party Anthem and some other song and so i was like :\ and ordered another and you’ll never guess,

a few songs stand out to me:

Gordon Lightfoot’s Approaching Lavender 

Seals and Crofts’s Hummingbird

Fleetwood Mac’s Silver Springs

James Taylor’s Never Die Young, Line ‘Em Up, Shower The People

(the Fleetwood Mac and James Taylor songs are specifically the ones i was introduced to with, as in the Live versions of Silver Springs and Shower The People)

for those who don’t know i’m also a huge Enya fan (LOTR was good to me) and Dark Sky Island was sick af btw, and also Donna Lewis’s entire Now In A Minute album is pretty fuckin close to my soul

however probably my favorite song, most sacred to me, hard to explain it but just the. whew the memories attached is I Love You Always Forever

furthermore a song that still really creeps me out (that also has an origin story attached to it) is 98 Degrees a cappella cover of She’s Out Of My Life (yep! still no thanks)

i grew up around a cappella since my mom is like a lifetime member of the Sweet Adelines womens a cappella organization or w/e so yeah and i’m not ognna link this on bc it’s a bitch to find just by itself, but Lida Rose from The Music Man is also a fist clench...

now on a more depressing note but one i have mention, Spice Girls’s Viva Forever is uuuhhh hhhhhhhhh hhhhhhnnnnmmmmmmmmmmm 

anyway my dad used to travel overseas for work and when i was younger he went to Germany (and he’d go back there several times after) and he brought me back my first jar of Nutella. naturally i lost my entire shit, and imagine my surprise when Nutella got really big in America lmao he’d brought that jar home like. uh. 7, 9 years prior?? idk guys, ages and math, but it was funny to me

best fucking gingerbread recipe is by Nigella Lawson and i found it in her book How To Be A Domestic Goddess and it’s right fucking here ur welcome 

i’m definitely one of those people who picks a book with a cool cover, reads a couple pages and then decides if i’m taking it or not and that’s how i found like so many good books

ask me about The Passage series and how i am both in love with it and kinda mad (also lmao @ the failed TV show y’all fuckin dumb as hell)

[dailyhobi]

The interview is from a book called Interviews with K-POP Stars by Park Hee A [x,x,x,x,x]

disclaimer!! this thread is meant to summarize what hoseok said in the interview and keep everything close to the original context, however it may still contain some of op’s personal interpretation of his words, so just keep that in mind :D

1. as a kid, hoseok didn't like sports, but instead fell in love with the warm-up exercise routine (which was like a light dance to him). he joined school talent shows because his schoolmates and teachers recommended him.

2. hoseok realized how much he loved dancing; his dad was against it but his mom got him into an academy. they struggled financially so his dance teacher, the leader of Neuron, let hoseok join their dance team bc he was so good, and he wouldn't have to pay for lessons anymore.

3. hoseok learned a lot of technique from the dancer AKIN and took dance lessons from him in gwangju. he also loved boogaloo (a sub-genre in popping) so much that he practiced like there was no tomorrow (and won competitions) and this was where he mostly got his style from.

4. hoseok thought street dance would help him as an idol, but was surprised to learn that there were many constraints in their choreography and made it so hard to show his dance skills. over time, he learned how to show more since BTS had been covering different dance styles.

5. street dance involves individual freestyle, but their choreography was set in frames and angles, so experiences in these two help shape the style hoseok has today.

6. bts's music videos used to focus on synchronized dance, but ever since I NEED U, they started focusing on acting. they studied acting, expressing themselves as characters, performing their roles in the story.

7. blood sweat & tears is hoseok's favorite title track choreography. he struggled with expressing his emotions, and perhaps it's the struggle that makes him feel prouder about finally being able to perform the dance.

8. the mic drop choreography is the opposite of blood sweat & tears; hoseok knew mic drop was his song and ambitiously prepared for the freestyle part with old school hip hop.

9. it was a completely new experience for 3J trying to incorporate traditional dance (fan dance, drum dance, mask dance) into their 2018 mma performance. they wanted to take things further from the oriental features in IDOL by putting a traditional concept on stage.

10. since bts was attending lots of award shows in late 2018, hoseok was afraid that they'd become complacent about attending and performing there. but he thinks if artists want the audience to have fun watching them perform, the artist should actually have fun themselves. 11. hoseok said bts wanted to make it enjoyable for the audience, even if it was more exhausting on their end. bts honestly do enjoy award show performances, and they remind themselves they receive awards from fans there so the ceremonies are meaningful to them. 12. hoseok tells us that comeback stages are for tv, demonstrating the performance as is, whereas awards ceremony and concert stages involve audience interaction. 13. at award shows, bts can't be too liberal with audience interaction because there might be fans of other artists and people who don't know them, so they usually try to stick to a script. 14. bts tries to prioritize fan interaction at concerts since the audience is mostly comprised of their fans. eye contact is a must.

15. even when bts agree on going freestyle and try to look carefree on stage, things are still strictly planned out (communication with audience is more important than performing however they want).

16. hoseok describes that he is a human being with flaws, and there are things he can’t change, but he does tries to aim for perfection.

17. to hoseok, every moment of their performance and the process behind, pouring their blood and sweat and resolving issues, made who he is today, and every moment is equally as meaningful to him.

18. hoseok's mixtape allowed him to show who he is, what he stands for, and how he wanted people to view him. by establishing his identity with this, he'd be able to relax about showing his different sides, and maybe let himself go a little next time.

19. the difference between him and namjoon/yoongi is that hoseok knew music through dance, whereas they knew music just through music. they influenced hoseok a lot, and the team gave him the opportunity to widen his spectrum on music.

20. as the choreography team leader, hoseok was really inspired by the other members' effort in dancing, even if they weren't dancers to begin with.

21. it’s important for the team to practice and move in the same mindset and work together on every move of the dance, but now that they understand each other so well, they know exactly what they need. bts always remind themselves that they perform because they love it.

22. hoseok believes the core of bts’s performances isn’t synchronized dances or powerful acrobatics, but the unique energy that comes from their heart.

23. because of long concert set lists, bts tries to conserve their strength instead of using it all up at once. saving energy isn’t slacking. they choose to focus their energy differently on what they consider important (or what requires more hype/energy).

24. hoseok tries to serve as the balancing role in group dances. though he is able to encompass different dance styles, and even if at times he wishes to be more visible, he gives up what he can to the other members, for the sake of the performance.

25. hoseok believes he has moved a step forward by integrating his experiences from past performances; they have widened his spectrum.

26. he combines improvisation with planned parts for performances like mic drop, depending on how his body goes, how the music flows, and how they vibe together.

27. boy meets evil is a painful song about a boy meeting the devil and struggling with sweet addiction; it gave him a chance to ask himself what it takes to express himself well with this challenging piece, full of acrobatics and difficult moves. (he said he really met the devil)

28. for trivia: just dance, hoseok's goal was to just enjoy it. he wanted to show how he fell in love with dance, how much he loves it and how it feels, and also showing how it fits within the narrative of his life.

29. dancing as bts j-hope is different from dancing as jung hoseok; j-hope has to consider the dance, expressions, gestures, coordinating with members and audience; hoseok’s performance would have to become more professional to be like j-hope, who receives more diverse attention.

30. hoseok has always wanted to showcase his dance like how he did as a kid, so he started doing “hope on the street” to revisit those feelings and dreams as a kid. he still loves dancing and hopes to carry on as long as he can as a performer.

31. hoseok doesn’t categorize his dance into contemporary or street; boundaries between genres are often blurred and depends on how each person perceives it. to him, it’s just about listening to the music and letting his body move. he dances just because he loves it so much.

32. when everyone in the team is worn out, hoseok gives them energy. he doesn't do it on purpose, but the members have come to embrace him that way naturally, and they have also grown to understand each other and function so well as a team.

33. bts try to express a clear message through their albums. when working on albums, namjoon and yoongi play key roles lead discussions with their insight, stories they wish to tell, and what fans are saying. they get so much energy sharing advice with each other.

34. as bts has been growing in popularity and becoming well-seasoned artists, hobi says they are able to explore more diverse possibilities and share their opinions on new ideas. it's hard to always be in agreement, so they suggest even more and better ideas in their discussions.

35. hoseok says he feels so amazing and energized on stage, but his body aches terribly as he comes off the stage (especially during the US leg of the LY tour). he thinks the gap between how he feels being on and off stage is unfairly large. that’s why he prefers being on stage.

36. even though hoseok has been on stages of drastically different sizes and shapes, they are all fundamentally the same to him. he just feels alive whenever he dances and performs, interact with the crowd, and get cheered on.

37. hoseok likes to dance because it's when he doesn't have to think about anything in the moment. all he wants is for the crowd to know that he truly enjoys it. but since bts’s stages have been growing, the added pressure makes it harder for them to perform just for enjoyment.

38. hoseok says he would like to work on stage production in the future. since he’s been on different kinds of stadiums, he thought about what kind of show he wants to present, based on his observations and experiences, though performing is still his priority.

39. he believes dance has the power to move hearts. even though how much dance means to people vastly differs, dance is effective at moving others because its power comes from “actions” that one can see, and hoseok also started dreaming about dancing as he watched others dance.

40. finally, hoseok thinks his identity is pretty straightforward: he followed that pulling attraction from dance, which led him to bts, and fans have come to appreciate him as part of bts and as a dancer, all of which have accumulated to his identity as jung hoseok and j-hope.

[angelhummel]

rank the seasons based on music? i’m curious :)

Oh that’s so hard because obviously there’s a mixed bag each season. But I’ll try my best. And this is mostly of the top of my head with minimum researching of what they actually performed lol. Let’s get into it...

6) Season Four - Automatically last. 90% of the songs were just whatever was popular and it was boring. Good moments for me were the two songs from Company and basically any number Isabelle was involved in. But Grease was like the most boring and basic and crowd pleasing show they could’ve picked, and all the other songs were just like top 40 and had nothing to say. Yawn

5) Season Six - Obviously s6 was a waste of time in general, but let’s look at the music. Too many gd Rachel solos and duets. The Sue/Schue duets were awful. We get back to Mr. Schue rapping. No thanks. And there’s like. There’s incorporating the songs into the story so that it works with the plot or gives you insight to a character’s feelings etc. And then there’s just. An event is happening. We need to sing some songs. And those are mostly competition episodes. But in this 13 episode season we get a competition, TWO episodes focusing on nothing but an invitationals event that hasn’t been a thing since s1. A bar mitzvah, a party, and a wedding. And the songs are just nothing. They’re boring. They’re basic. Heya? All About That Bass? Uptown Funk?? I barf. It was ridiculous. And I do hate it because the newbies all sounded great and I’m sorry they were wasted in this horrible season. I do like Cool Kids, Chandelier, Take Me To Church. As well as any Klaine duet, the Brittana mash up, I Lived, Home. But the season was garbage and the music does a good job of reflecting that

4) Season Five - I do hate to put this so low but oh well. So what I don’t like: The Beatles are overhyped and they did not need to waste two episodes on them. Billy Joel is nothing to me and I don’t care about a whole episode tribute to him. This Christmas ep has the worst soundtrack, imo. City of Angels has the worst competition music. And redoing all their old songs was a waste of time. Not to mention we get Blurred Lines and The Fox so. That’s that on that. A few good things: Another Gaga ep, even if it’s mixed with Katy this time. I’ll take what I can get. Just the Way You Are. Brave. Anything Elliott or Kurt’s band was part of. Anything Funny Girl or Sondheim. Yep.

3) Season One - Yet again, hate putting this so low. But Mr. Schue’s many instances of rapping is enough to knock it down a few pegs. There’s just too much from characters I don’t like. Too much Finn, too much Rachel, too much Schue. Too much Journey. Also, Funk?? Case closed. Good things: Any Mercedes or Kurt solo. Any time Santana got to open her mouth. True Colors, Like A Prayer, Dancing With Myself

2) Season Two - Let’s not pretend this season isn’t iconic. Coming in hot straight out the gate, we get a whole Britney ep, Rocky Horror, River Deep Mountain High, and The Warblers. Amazing. But this season does have some of my absolute least favorite musical moments of the show. Billionaire, Hey Soul Sister, The Only Exception, Need You Now, Friday, a fucking Justin Beiber episode. Please. On the flipside, it also has some of the most iconic moments in the show. Landslide, Teenage Dream, Tik Tok, I Feel Pretty/Unpretty, Born This Way, Back To Black AND Valerie. Credit where credit is due. Oh, and all the original songs. Those are great 

1) Season Three - I don’t know if this comes as a surprise to anyone reading this bc I constantly bitch about how much I hate season three. Because I do hate it. A lot. But wow if this isn’t the most iconic season musically. They cover Michael, they cover Whitney, we even get a fucking disco episode even tho they could’ve found better less white disco music but oh well. We get fucking Unique gracing our eardrums this season. We get Harmony. We get the goddamn TROUBLETONES. Need I go on?? I will anyway. Iconic songs of the season: Candyman, Rumor Has It/Someone Like You, Perfect, Jolene, We Found Love, Smooth Criminal, Love Shack, Cough Syrup, Shake It Out, Paradise. Holy shit the list goes on. Best Christmas episode soundtrack. Best competition set list with the Jackson family tribute I will go to my grave defending their victory over the Troubletones sorry not sorry. And yeah yeah usual gripes about too many Rachel solos you already know it. But there’s nothing like downright bad or offensive this season. Well, except for Mr. Schue as usual, but thankfully it was actually framed as offensive by the show. Plus I think this has the most variety of any other season. We get the popular songs, we get the Broadway, but we also get some disco, some rock, some country. It’s just a good mix and there’s something for everyone 

[snarkandsarcasmftw]

Fanfic writers ask 1-5,8,9,30-32,39 and 40

AHH I THANK YOU!

 1. Favorite place to write.

In my living room, on the couch, with my music going. Occasionally, I’ll write in bed, but I prefer the living room.

2. Favorite part of writing.

Coming up with characters and plot. Getting a new idea. Or several new ideas.

3. Least favorite part of writing.

Actually writing my ideas down and trying to fit them together somehow. Because frankly, it’s hard and it makes my brain fuckin hurt.

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

I’m almost always listening to music. I have to have some sort of background noise. I typically have like... inspiration / aesthetic blogs or pinterest open ( for inspo / visual purposes). Those are pretty much my only guaranteed rituals. Everything else I do ( candles, snacks, etc) those are conditional and depend on what I’m writing.

5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.

Honestly, I really can’t think of anyone. I know I wanted to be a writer first because of V.C Andrews and Stephen King, but beyond that, I can’t think of anyone whose famous and writes and influenced me. 

8. Favorite trope to write.

It used to be Alpha & Omega. But lately, it’s become friends to lovers or enemies to friends to lovers. One, I just feel like I fuck up writing Alpha and Omega stuff and two, I just seem to enjoy writing relationships in which things take fun little turns. idk.

9. Least favorite trope to write.

“And They Were Roommates.” I love to read it. I absolutely adore the trope. I just.. can’t. I’ve tried and they’re never that good, to me. So I try not to write them a lot because I know in advance I’m going to screw it up royally.

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

This is actually in something I’m writing right now. But.. I’m extremely proud of it (and this particular character bc I’m having to look into a lot of stuff that I am interested in but don’t know jack shit about ie, high fashion, makeup, etc.)

“That was more or less a look of disgust. You got glitter on my Louboutins, bitch.” 

31. Hardest character to write.

Oh god, okay. I find it difficult to write for characters that I’m not invested in. Most recently, it’s been Kenny Omega, the Bucks and a few others. Occasionally, it’s also painfully hard for me to write more popular characters in fandoms because I’m so afraid I’ll fuck it up and ruin some poor reader’s view of that character. SO basically, if I don’t know them that well or I’m not interested, it becomes mission impossible for me to write them.

 32. Easiest character to write.

I haven’t ever actually posted anything for them on here, but probably a toss up between Edgar Frog and Embry Call from Twilight. Wait, hold up. There is exactly ONE thing for Embry on my blog. But it’s not that great. But he’s easier to write for bc I think I just… really connected with him when I was younger and reading the books.

 39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one. 

Well, I mean, I based Mimi on @vonschweetz and I based Claudia on you and I tried to get everything that makes you guys so fucking awesome and adorable into them, so.. :)

 40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?

Oh god.. Fanfiction. I used to think Original Fiction because I wanted to be a /serious writer/ and get famous and shit ( when I was waaaay younger) but like.. Let’s be real. I’d get eaten alive by publishers. There’s no way I could make it. Fanfiction also has the perk of letting me fix or elaborate on things that I see fit to. 

[togetherkru]

the 100 ask game            

tagged by @pendragaryen. Thank you again 😘 , I told you it would take some time ;-). But I did it !!

1. What station on the Ark would you be from?

Farm station... Or Alpha, maybe.

2. What would you get arrested for on the Ark?

Hum. Would I get arrested on the Ark ?

3. Would you take off your wristband when you landed on the ground?

No, probably not.

4. What would the necklace Finn would make for you look like? (Clarke: deer/Raven: a raven duh..)

A flower I think. Ok it’s a bit difficult, but that would do it for me.

5. If you could resurrect any MINOR character who would it be?

yeah, just like @pendragaryen Zoe Monroe. Her charachter had such a potential...A wasted potential.

6. Create a squad of 5 characters to go on missions with. Who are they?

Bellamy, Clarke, Monty, Octavia, Finn or Raven. It depends on the moment of the mission :D

7. What Grounder Clan would you belong to you?

Trishanakru.

8. What would your name be in Trigedasleng? (example: Octavia=Okteivia…just make it up!)

Um... Well it’s not very convincing, but something like Steifani (??) kom Trishanakru.

9. Thoughts on Finn? Some people hate him, and others love him, so I’m curious

Well I found the character interesting : someone who seems to be kind, and good, and sometimes he really was (In Murphy’s Law, when he arrives and protects Charlotte, I found him nice...). BUT, in the end, he was hypocrital and manipulative.

10. Be honest. How willing would you have been to take the chip without knowing all the horrible things it does?

I'm not sure I would have been so attracted to the chip. I'm pretty down to earth.

11. What character do you relate to most?

Clarke. I like her resilience and her selflessness.

12. What character do you like the least?

Jaha, for sure, even though I loved the actor and his performance. But I find the character of Jaha full of contradictions and cold.

13. Describe your delinquent outfit. (Would you wear something like Murphy’s jacket with the spikey red shoulder patch or have a trademark like Jasper’s goggles? Be creative, yet practical)

Something like Harper ? So a  leather jacket, jeans probably. And something in the hair.

14. Favorite type of mutant animal?

Phosphorescent butterflies ? Not original, I know.

15. What would your job be on the Ark?

I’m a teacher, and I really appreciated the scenes with Pike on the Ark. So a teacher, probably. A professor of earthly history, lol.

16. Would you have willingly pumped Ontari’s heart if Abby asked?

Nope. I would have fainted.

17. If Lexa wasn’t Heda, but she was still alive then who would have made the best commander?

I don’t really understand the question. It has to be a nightblood, right ? Do we know many ?

18. How would you act if you ate the hallucinogenic nuts like Jasper and Monty?

I’d probably be laughing a lot and I'd sound rather stupid.

19. How would you have dealt with Charlotte’s crime? A more John Murphy approach or Bellamy Blake approach?

Surely a Bellamy approach.

20. Who should have been the Chancellor, if anyone?

Kane definitely. He’s such a good character, who learns from his mistakes.

21. Would you have been on Pike’s side like Bellamy or on Kane’s side? Or Clarke in Polis?

I must admit I hope to be on Kane's side. But can we really know without being in a real equivalent situation? Can we really know what the “right” side is ?

22. Mount Weather had a lot of modern commodities. (example: Maya’s Ipod) What is the one thing you would snatch while there?

The Ipod. A way to listen to music. Cool.

23. What would your Grounder tattoos look like? Hairstyle? War paint?

tattoos that would look like plants. A vegetable motif. On the arms and the neck.

24. Favorite quote?

Harper’s sentence “everyone dies, Monty. Let’s show them how to live” moves me every-single-time. And I think Clarke (and Bellamy) need to learn how to live (not to “survive”), need to let go. That’s why, I think, it’s a very good summery of the show.

But I also like Kane’s statement: “It’s not to late to choose the right side” (see question 21).

25. If all of the characters were in the Hunger Games, who would have the best shot at winning?

I would go with Luna or Octavia here. That’s what we saw in the show.

26. Least favorite ship? Favorite canon ship? Favorite non canon ship? NOT INCLUDING CL OR BC OR BE

Least fave: I don’t really have one. I watch and enjoy the show.

Fave canon: Marper (sigh) and Linctavia (sigh).

Fave non-canon: Raven-Murphy.

27. A song that should be included in the next season? If there had to be another guest star like Shawn Mendes on the show, who would you want to make a cameo?

That’s really difficult. Wow.

But I fell in love with a video from @teamhodgins (<3), with the song Chariot (Jacob Lee). I don't think it fits the atmosphere of the show, but it fits Bellarke SO WELL. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OiZSIFXAf0E

28. What would you do if you were stuck in the bunker with Murphy for all that time?

With Murphy ??? I’d probably kill myself. Or kill him...

29. You’re an extra that gets killed off. How do you die?

Like Lincoln ? Sacrificing myself for others ? That would be cool.

Or I would probably have died of some kind of infection as a result of a poorly treated injury. Not a heroic death, then.

30. A character you’d like to learn more about and get flashbacks of?

Not a popular opinion, perhaps, but I want to know Echo better.

31. A character you’d bang?

Um. That IS a popular opinion... Bellamy of course. Or Clarke. Or both.

32. Would you stay in the Bunker? Go up to Space? Or live on your own in Eden?

Definitely Eden.

I’m afraid of Space, and the Bunker ??? Is that even a question ?

33. In the Bunker, would you follow Octavia? What would you do to pass the time underground?

Well I wouldn’t be in the Bunker (question 32).

34. What crime would you commit in the Bunker that lands you in the fighting pits?

Well I wouldn’t be in the Bunker (question 32).

35. Up in Space, who would you bond with first? Who would be the most difficult for you to get along with?

Aah. I would bond easily with Marper, and with Bellamy, Raven and probably Emori. It would be hard for me with Murphy. I think I could get along with Echo of Season 5..

36. How long do you think you would last on Earth by yourself?

Not long.

37. When the Eligius ship lands what do you do?

hide and observe. Like Clarke, but without the riffle. At least I hope so.

38. Favorite Eligius character? Least favorite?

Diyoza, because, you know, “I like her style”. Least fave: Vincent. So creepy.

39. Would you Spacewalk?

Noooo. Space is far too dangerous.

40. Would you prefer to eat Windshield Bugs, Space Algae, or Bunker Meat?

Space Algae. But as I said, I wouldn’t be in space. That’s why I wouln’t live long (question 36) LOL.

41. Would you start a war for the last spot of green on earth? What would your solution be to avoid it?

I’m a teacher, so I have to be diplomatic. I would negotiate for everyone, of course.

42. Would you rather dig out flesh-eating worms or stick thumb drives into bullet holes?

??? Maybe it’s a little less dangerous with stick thumb drives into bullet holes ? (I can’t even believe I wrote this)

43. Are you willing to poison your sister for the Traitor Who You Love? What would you do to stop Octavia?

For the Traitor Who I Love, yes, maybe. That’s hard... But I don’t think there was another solution at this point. I can’t even find something else to do...

44. Would you go to sleep in cryo or stay awake like Marper?

Good question. Even with the Love of my life... a lifetime, it’s very long. So probably cryo.

45. Who are you waking up first to explore the new planet?

Bellamy, Clarke, Raven, Abby. Diyoza too. I like it spicy.

That was fun. Long but fun 😄. I’m tagging (if they didn’t do it already, of course /or if they want to) : @geekyogicheese, @natassakar, @katersann , @emmyisgrey , @yourereallyhere, @bellarkespace , @historyandships , @lameblake and anyone who wants to !

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

hey quick question: why the fuck is the topic of needing a date for a school prom/formal pushed so heavily on kids at the ages of 15/16 or 17/18? when it’s only one night of lousy top 40s music (for example my year 10 formal was filled with Rihanna’s songs “S&M” and “rude boy”, a barrage of David guetta and Flo Rida/LMFAO songs and then Adele’s “someone like you”. hell, the biggest mood killer of the night was a “pumped up kicks” - foster the people cover by a band of boys from my year)? and then sub par food? and the night of the formal, they’ll only remember snippets of, only a few years after it happened? like fuck off.

prom/formal should be a night to be enjoyed with your friends, not some random guy or girl in your year group that you’ve barely uttered a fucking word to (in nearly all cases, besides the ones who’ve started dating or y’know they’re just friends going as friends, like I did with one of my guy friends in year 12) in the whole either 4 (for year 10 or junior proms/formals) or 6 years (for year 12/senior ones) you’ve been going to school together. like I remember my crush in year 10 tried to set me up with his best friend (a petty thing to do, to dangle himself in front of me, really, bc he was already taking someone) that I’d been super sassy to at the athletics carnival the previous year, and generally never spoke to.... except when we were forced to be partners for our ballroom dancing PE lessons and assessment that I barely ever participated in. then I was made to look like a cruel bitch bc I said no to him, and he didn’t end up going bc he didn’t have a date.... or at least that’s what it made me feel like on formal night when he didn’t turn up and his friends looked kinda slightly sullen about it, which was also coupled with rude comments from teachers. but I think he was cool with it though. his actual excuse was that “formal is overrated and expensive... and I come back next year???? like what’s the point?? I’ll just go to our year 12 one!” which he did, because I saw the photos.

like why the fuck was i shamed for a whole two straight years by my teachers at catholic school in years 9 & 10, who made it their business to tell me that “no real man from this school, in your year (bc we could only take people from our year group to formals) will ever take you to the formal, unless you learn to be a real woman in the eyes of jesus” or that my “goal for the year should be to gain 10 kilos bc the real men here at this school only like women with meat on their bones and not a girl who looks like she starves herself!” (which if they bothered to ask any of my friends for evidence, they’d find out that I ate A LOT and I’m legitimately naturally skinny)...

like why the fuck is this your business as my idk english/maths/art/sport/religion/science teacher or year coordinator etc??? stay the fuck out of it ms shackleback, I swear to fuck. and also why did this always have to be done out of the way of my friends, “in private” so that I never had anyone to back up my claims??? also why the fuck are you so condescending? they’re real men? while I’m a feral child? THEY’RE LITERALLY 15, MR RHONSON! THEY MAKE WANKING/FLESH LIGHT JOKES AND ALSO RAPE JOKES ON THEIR OWN OR EACH OTHER’S FACEBOOK PAGES EVERY FUCKING NIGHT!!!! THEY’RE NO FUCKING ANGELS AND SAINTS OR GENTLEMEN! THEY’RE JUST AS GROSS AS 15yo ME MAKING JOKES ABOUT ACCIDENTALLY BECOMING A SEX WORKER WHEN SHE MOVES TO PUBLIC SCHOOL! FOR CHRIST’S ALMIGHTY GODDAMN FUCKING SAKE! (not that sex workers are actually gross, you keep doing you ladies! I was just fresh out of my eminem and rap phases is all. and also that defs DID NOT happen anyway 😂)

like fuck, I was even shamed on fucking formal night. the one night where after making all the jokes about turning up in no makeup, ripped black skinny jeans, an ADTR or amity affliction shirt and converses bc I apparently “wasn’t like the other girls bc I was SoOoOoO oRiGiNaL AND pUnK!” or pulling a lady Gaga by turning up in a garbage bag... but making it fashion; or whatever other dumb fucking shit I said.... I turned up looking super nice (for 16yo me that is)... like nice enough to impress my crush at the time so much that he dropped his jaw y’all! in fact, everyone did! 😂

yet I was met with almost nonstop backhand compliments by like nearly all of my teachers. comments like “you look so wonderful *my friends walk off* but what a shame your lack of lady-like behaviour doesn’t compensate for the effort you put in!” or “you brushed up nicely! but what a shame you don’t have a boy with you! you’d look lovely with one on your arm! but you didn’t clean yourself up enough to have one of the real men in your year! how embarrassing!” *pointed, jeering look* and snide comments about me being in a dress when I turned up to school in one every day???? like what the fuck did I turn up to school in? up to $1000 worth of agent provocateur luxury lingerie ensembles, a school blazer and heels? with an apple, a book, my glasses and a riding crop to discipline the rowdy boys? with a coy smile to match Megan Fox’s on any merch associated with Jennifer’s body? fucking honestly let girls joke a little?

then a random guy (obvs one of the popular guys) in my year turns up with a fucking literal BLOW UP SEX DOLL. YES YOU READ THAT RIGHT! A BLOW UP SEX DOLL as a prank. and you know the types of comments he gets? “oh that Benson is a real laugh isn’t he!? a lark!” and “WHAT A GREAT PRANK BEN!” and the like. like fuck off. (but then again I never found out if he got cautioned about it, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did) literally the only good non backhanded comment I remember receiving on the night of my year 10 formal was my (male) drama teacher saying: “Ilona, holy shit! you look so nice tonight! whose idea was your hippy/gypsy vibe! I dig it! so many of the guys here would kill (not obviously of course, shit) to have you on their arm! why so down? why so glum? have a good night, yeah?”

finally to finish off, honestly how the fuck the teachers couldn’t understand that the constant degrading and negative remarks and treatment they were persistently giving me, made me feel like that I never deserved a date in the first place, I’ll never fucking know. 🤔

but when I changed to public school, why didn’t any of my teachers intervene with this? it was so much more enjoyable (but still annoying) to only have the boys in the year below me try to jockey for spots to take me to my year 12 formal (bc public school let you take anyone within a reasonable age range). but still. why is it pushed? in neither of these scenarios did I ever need a male friend to take me. I was more than happy going on my own to be with my friends 🤷🏻‍♀️. i had only one negative comment on the night of my year 12 formal. and that was my year coordinator saying that I was very awkward in high heels. but altoghter I brushed up nicely. but then again, I either misplaced my phone or it got stolen. bc by the end of the night, I didn’t have my phone. the highlight of the night was my teachers getting fucking smashed and constantly requesting that the soundtrack of grease be played along with a load of 70s/80s music 😂 it was great. 😅

the only reasons why I remember both of my formals so clearly are because one was so awfully negative and unbearable (year 10/junior) that I couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there, and the other one was passable and tolerable, even if I did get my phone stolen (year 12/senior) 😂

so, this is a message to anyone who wants to be a teacher or has just become a new teacher in a high school: if you harass kids like this, over something so fucking goddamn trivial as a formal/prom date; I will literally come to fucking haunt you when I die. leave kids the fuck alone to have some fun with their friends.

[sardonic-sprite]

mmkay, here i am back at it again.

36. interesting question. when people and things are moving, i'll block it out in my head (sometimes physcially), but i think more in words than pictures, so i have to intentionally visualize and describe something in order to see it. that's why a lot of my writing focuses on describing thoughts and perceptions than physical senses

37. I'm really proud of Deliver Us From Evil for the feeling I could capture in it, but understanding that it's not everyone's cup of tea, I think Kids in the Dark deserves more love. The sequel is still barely begun, but there's been no activity there for a while, and it's one of my more mysterious fics

38. I'm going to go with my top 3 kudo'd fics here: Safe and Warm, Adopt a Rescue!, and Wayne Men... Which Robin Quiz. The first two are my fluffiest stories, and the last is so cracky I don't know how I ever dreamt it up. It seems to be a general trend that my fluff and crack fics are the most popular, which is funny to me, bc I go all in for whump most of the time

39. Not that I can think of? Many ideas or "plots" are inspired by others, but my writing methods are pretty solidly my own

40. oh, i will absolutely re-read fics. i'm so bummed that i spent so long reading on ao3 without an account, bc I don't know if i'll ever find some of those fics again

41. there are soooo many, ugh. there's a lot i want to link, bc even with my crack fics, idk if i could ever aspire to the sheer level of unhinged-ness these folks achieve, BUT https://archiveofourown.org/works/21146762/chapters/50327951 this fucking EPIC. far outside my usual, but oh my GOSH is it amazing. the history, the originality, the music, its just... gah. read it read it read it

42. well, there was one fic that got rude down in the comments, lol, but otherwise, every comment makes me smile. i love when people analyze things or add to the story. on Just A Kid, me and a commentor had this huge chain going about all Jason's parents and siblings showing up at his high school over the years pretending to be his parents for conferences. it was a riot.

43. oohhhh. I mean, frankly most of my fics right now are prompted by events such as whumptober, winter whumperland, and bad things happen bingo. (although sometimes the idea was already there, and i just adjusted to fit a prompt). the only prompts i can think of other than my As You Wish requests are Hug It Out and Lead Me Homeward, both of which I enjoyed, but ended a bit strangely

44. so the only dialogue prompt i've done utterly destroyed me, thanks again for that, skullkitten. but in general i do like narrative prompts more, just because they help set boundaries on my imagination

45. i'd like to think i've improved on plotting. not as in outlinging and all the formal writer thingies, but in terms of having coherent reasons for characters doing what they do, and in terms of coming up with baddies and bad guy plots.

46. so, historically i write on my phone, but writing on my laptop is SOOO much faster. it usually depends on where and when im writing. i try to only do it when i have a good deal of time and am alone, so oftentimes that's in bed at night, which means phone

47. what the fuck is this question. ok. Another Mask is a pair of black, glittering stilettos. sharp and dangerous, but also alluring and mysterious, and enticing

48. the Changing History series by fogisbeautiful and holy heck, yes. she has such a cool grasp of LOTR and its world, and she's created a unique, fresh, and engaging MGiME story which i've re read several times. the comments section is also a blast

49. Hehehe. I'm working on several things, but as only one has anything to share... I'm rewriting A Christmas Carol for the Batfam. and as the story starts.... "Jason Todd was dead."

50. How many story ideas (not counting each addition to a series, just the series itself) do I have? *counts* *runs calculator* Like... seventy? Or thereabouts? (send help) of course, some of these will be combined, some are just concepts i'll rant about on tumblr, and some i'll probably just drop, but still. the idea bucket is on overflow, and i'm not even kidding, this number is JUST for the batfam.

And that's a wrap! hopefully some of this was entertaining, lol. feel free to drop a comment and ask more questions!

also back to the AUs! someday I'm putting the batfam characters in Newsies. I need it so much and trust nobody else with the task.

questions for fic writers

a collection of questions i, as a writer, would love to be asked !!!

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

2. Go to your AO3 “Works” page, to the sidebar with all the filters, and click the drop-down arrow for “Additional Tags.” What are your top 3-5 most used tags? Do you think they accurately represent your writing habits?

3. What are some tropes or details that you think are very characteristic of your fics?

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

7. Any worldbuilding you’re particularly proud of?

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

9. How do you find new fic to read?

10. How do you decide what to write?

11. Are you partial to a certain character/pairing or are you more equal-opportunity? If you are partial to any character/pairing, why do you think that is?

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

13. Are there any tropes you used to like but don’t anymore?

14. Are there any tropes you would only read if written by a trusted friend or writer?

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

16. What’s an AU you would love to read (or have read and loved)?

17. What highly specific AU do you want to read or write even though you might be the only person to appreciate it?

18. If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

20. If you wrote a prequel to [insert fic], what would it involve?

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [insert fic], what would it be?

22. Who is your favorite character in [insert fic] and why?

23. What’s a trope, AU, or concept you’ve never written, but would like to?

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they?

25. What other websites or resources do you use most often when you write?

26. Would you rather write a fic that had no dialogue or one that was only dialogue?

27. How long did it take to write [insert fic]? Describe the process.

28. Does anyone read your fics before you post them? If so, who?

29. What songs would be (or are) on a playlist for [insert fic]? Explain your choices if you want!

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

31. What’s your ideal fic length to write?

32. What’s your ideal fic length to read?

33. If you write chaptered fics, what’s your ideal chapter length to write? Is it different from your ideal chapter length to read?

34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?

35. What aspects of your writing are completely unlike your real life?

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

37. Promote one of your own “deep cut” fics (an underrated one, or one that never got as much traction as you think it deserves!). What do you like about it?

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

39. Is any aspect of your writing process inspired by other writers or people? If so, who?

40. Do you tend to reread fics or are you a one-and-done kind of person?

41. Link a fic that made you think, “Wow, I want to write like that.”

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

43. If you take/write prompts: what’s your favorite prompt fic that you’ve written?

44. If you take/write prompts: do you prefer dialogue or scenario/narrative prompts?

45. What’s something you’ve improved on since you started writing fic?

46. Do you prefer writing on your phone or on a computer (or something else)? Do you think where you write affects the way you write?

47. If [insert fic] was a pair of shoes, what kind would it be? Describe the shoes.

48. What’s the last fic you read? Do you recommend it?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

[mercurialsmile]

OC Questions: 1, 5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30, 35, 40, 45, and 50! :D

1. Your first OC ever?

TECHNICALLY my first OC ever was a dragon called Jenna lol. She was basically a rip-off of Spyro tho so idk if you would count her.... 

My first developed and original OC was Braxous tho! His name wasn’t Braxous back then tho it was Broken. Edgy boy.

5. If you could make only one of your OCs popular/known, who would it be?

Tbh as much as I thirst for people to like my OCs and stuff I am Scared TM at the same time... bc we all know that popular characters kinda get hmmm twisted is the best term I can think of. 

I can’t think of a character I would like popular or known tbh bc in general I’d like all of them popular and known... but if I HAD to chose one I’d say Iarilan I guess? She’s a good role model I think.... 

10. Introduce an OC with a complicated design? 

OH GOD it’s probably a tie between Ry and the new beast Xero design. 

Ry just. Four arms. Four wings. Long legs w inhuman feet. Two tails. Galaxy skin. Claws. Five eyes. Curly hair. Pointed ears. A flat face with a mouth full of fangs. Can be any size. Almost perfectly symmetrical. Yeah his design is kinda tough.

I think the future beast Xero or his real form will take the cake tho. He has a ruffle of feathers around his neck, more smaller feathers all across his back, four wings, five dragon-like tails, spikes down his spine that can fold up or down, small red spots under the feathers that can spark and make his entire back and wings catch alight with fire.

Not to mention stick out ears, multiple horns on his head and jaw, black and gold scales on his arms and legs, gold claws, fangs, white pupils, a thick tuft of fur covering his sheath and between his legs

AND THEN on top of ALL THAT You have his chain markings and mating marks. 

God. Yeah. Xero’s real form just. Takes the cake in complicated designs. LMAO. And me and Angel are still designing him and knowing us we may make him even more complicated OOPS so!

15. Do you like to talk about your OCs with other people?

YEAH I DO don’t let me start bc I won’t shut up tbh 

20. Do any of your OCs sing? If they sing, care to share more details

Dustin and Ophiel can both sing! Dustin sings alone and well... spoilers~ I think he’d be an alto tho. 

Ophiel used to be part of god’s choir and a lot of her powers from from her music. Her singing is magical and she mainly uses it to heal others! She has a beautiful voice and is a soprano!

Some other OCs I have sing too... but they arent good at it lol and mainly just sing along to songs and stuff. 

25. The OC that resembles you the most (same hobby, height, shared like/dislike for something etc?)

Dustin for sure lmao. Height, weight, some hobbies?? Tbh I sprinkle some of myself across all my OCs but Dustin resembles me most. 

Tho I can’t code, am not quite a meme lord like him, like different games and music than him, and can’t sing. Lol. 

30. Which one of your OCs would most likely have a secret stuffed animal collection?

Honestly? Zeke. Or maybe even Ty? Hm. 

Ophiel has a very not secret stuffed animal collection tho :D 

35. Any sibling characters?

A lot of my characters have siblings actually! Lynn is Kenneth’s sister, Krystle is Dustin’s sister, Zeke has a brother named Marc who is... great tbh, Ophiel has a LOT of siblings like 5 of them, Ty has two brothers who she hates, Caleb has a sister named Dannah, and I think that’s actually about it! Gabe also has siblings but they aren’t really named or present. 

40. Any fond memories linked to your characters? Feel free to share!

Uh... I guess when I first made them counts? And when I wrote stuff about them... completing my first novel which was for Counting Stars counts as well I think... ye that’s about it. I’m always fond of my OCs so every memory and thought I have w them is special! 

45. A character you no longer use?

Hm... not really. But I have been thinking about cutting characters that I currently have so :x

Rather than cutting characters, I tend to combine them or just re-purpose them for something else. There are prob tons of minor characters I don’t use anymore... and ofc all the super old OCs I made when I was a little kid... who I don’t even remember... but I don’t count them :P 

50. Give me the good ol’ OC talk here. Talk about anything you wantIf you want

I love all my ocs I don’t even know where to begin. I am also tired of typing LMAO anyways I love my ocs pls just send me asks so I can gush about them tbh LMAO 

THANKS FOR THE ASK :D 

[singtheskyandfightlikehell]

Fic Writer Interview

I was tagged by @sun-moon-stars-jedi thank you so much!

Name(s): singtheskyandfightlikehell, angelsandbrowncoats. I used to go by (The) Q bc of star trek and a private joke but some fuckers went and ruined that as a fun thing to call myself online, so if you want something a little easier to roll off the tongue than my usernames, idk bro... in middle school, my tolkien elf!sona was called Lethgaril, I guess that works lmao

Fandoms: So many. My current obsession is Batfam|Jayroy (and I’m inching towards Arrowfam as well). My lifelong fandom is Lord of the Rings. A (believe it or not) short list of some others I may or may not make content for in the future includes: Les Misérables (the brick over the musical, but I like both), Jane Austen’s works, Shakespeare’s works (esp. Hamlet & Much Ado), Pygmalion/My Fair Lady (the author has never been more alive, Eliza can’t mustn't shouldn’t and won’t marry Higgins), Miss Fisher’s Murder Mysteries, Death in Paradise, Shakespeare & Hathaway, Redwall, Dirk Gently, Galavant, Oxford Time Travel, Bartimaeus, The Good Place, and like... 30s/40s screwball comedies in general

Where you post: AO3 (angelsandbrowncoats), but I post links to tumblr & I have a full list of fic links and descriptions on my pinned carrd

Most popular one shot (by kudos):

Overall: It’s You, You’re All I See (Good Omens)

This Year: Worth the Wait (JayRoy)

Most popular multi-chap (also by kudos):

Overall: 2 Cups Feelings & A Dash of Common Sense (Gotham, permanent WIP, sorry)

This Year: PriestHood (JayRoy, technically multi-chap)

Favourite story you’ve written so far: Probably one of my WIPs, tbh (actually I’d say my original work based on my wild as fuck connected dreams that I may or may not ever publish) but of the complete ones, I’ll say It Need Not Follow (JayRoy) bc I really enjoy writing misunderstandings that turn out well and I amused myself a lot writing the confrontation between Jason and Roy in that one

Fic you were nervous to post: Of my recent ones, I’d say Worth the Wait because it was my first JayRoy fic and also it has a darker, more serious tone than a lot of what I write (although recently I’ve been in the mood to write heavier emotional scenes, so maybe that’s not quite true anymore).

How do you choose your titles: My preferred method is choosing a recurring theme or meaningful quote from the work as the title, but if I’m struggling to find one I like, I’ll sometimes use song lyrics or references to other works that vibe with the story. Mostly I use the latter for chapter titles rather than work titles, though.

Do you outline: I never mean to, but on longer fics I always end up losing the thread of the story and I end up having to outline anyway. Usually I just type a paragraph or two about what I want to have happen, or I’ll make a list of the things I don’t want to forget to include (mostly jokes for comedy pieces).

Complete: 105 total (not including original fiction or my recently orphaned high school works), 3 recent

In progress: 6, only counting ones with a significant portion written

Coming soon/not yet started: I no longer post my WIPs until they’re complete bc I’m really bad at finishing things and I’m tired of disappointing my readers, but here are a few of the ideas I’m working on or planning:

>A Thanksgiving JayRoy romcom that I’ll probably wait until next year to post bc it took too goddamn long, based on that “hire me to be your shitty (fake) boyfriend for thanksgiving” post except they fall for each other ofc. Also for some unfathomable reason I wrote a dark prequel for it featuring badass good mom!Talia

>A kinda sorta requested fic about the Bats needing to find the Supers and finding them at a good old fashioned midwestern barn dance that ends with the Bats having to square dance

>A fic based on an idea I had three years ago that Amanda Grayson from Star Trek is Dick Grayson’s descendant where she accidentally travels into the past and meets him

>A JayRoy bodyguard fic that was, again, supposed to be a short comedy but has quickly morphed into something huge about Jason refusing to become the Red Hood and instead getting revenge on Bruce via a long prank where he becomes Oliver Queen & family’s bodyguard but they don’t know who he is

>An experimental piece to help me explore relationships where a magical artifact traps various people connected to Jason in a strange, empty world that feels a bit apocalyptic but isn’t. There are four total groups of people, each in a different location to start with, and they basically have to work all their issues with each other out before they can leave.

>My one and only Bruce-centric fic designed to keep the Graysons alive where a lot of the same elements of Batman’s story happen but for different reasons, all beginning with Bruce’s parents getting shot outside the circus instead of the theater, Bruce getting amnesia, and John Grayson convincing his family to take in the injured amnesiac boy he finds

>and The Big One (aka the longest thing I’ve ever written in my life, which isn’t half done yet): JayRoy fake marriage featuring Lian, mutual pining, PTA/suburban shenanigans, social commentary, and long emotional arcs about familial reconciliation for both of them that may or may not be slower than the slowburn romance

Prompts: Feel free to send me prompts/requests, but I don’t guarantee I’ll write them. If I’m feeling it, I’m feeling it, and if I’m not, I’m not!

Upcoming work you’re most excited about: The novel-length fake marriage story, of course! Also the bodyguard AU, because the entire thing stems from one (1) incredibly inane joke and I can’t wait to post the chapter that includes the joke and revel in the groans

I can never think of anyone to tag for these things, esp. since I don’t really talk to people much on here anymore, but as always, if you see this and want to do it, consider yourself tagged by me!

[cloudjumpervalka]

sometimes and by that i mean a lot of the time, i remember how much elsa means to me as a character. in general she’s very mediocre in comparison to others, but she was there for me when i was hella depressed and she’s like a form of comfort for me now.

i was following the production of frozen for the longest time, let’s say about 5ish years before release? i was excited for it, i was disappointed in the changes made, i refused to believe the original elsa and anna leaked design images were real because they looked so bad, i read the script when it leaked and was mad at the conveluded plot.

but the movie came out during the semester of art school i got severe depression through. i had always dreamed of going to art school and working in the animation industry and i had a single thought that went in my brain a week before the semester started. it said i would never be good /enough/. it kept playing back over and over when i would turn in assignments. i did well in school, but the workload was a lot when you decide to take 3 studio classes at once. i started getting overly picky with what i considered to be good enough in my work and eventually stopped turning in assignments. sometimes i would have them “done” but it wasn’t good enough so i didn’t bother

i was living with my grandparents at the time and locked myself in my room to be alone a bunch. i didn’t socialize in classes and who i considered friends were out of reach. i had just started dating my bf a few months prior and the time zone/distance/etc was a new experience altogether. i was constantly scared i would lose my friends not just to distance but other personal reasons not meant to be shared on tumblr. my grandparents gave me my distance and i just spent a lot of time alone. i remember skyping with dean and staying up all night with him bc i didn’t want to be alone.

i got more depressed over time, i was just sad. i would try to fill the void with buying things i had left at home with my parents. i remember i would drive out to the mall. i would get a pretzel to eat. eat it outside the disney store, maybe buy something after. if not disney merch, i would go buy clothes. i had not been eating much aside from the almost daily pretzel and lost about 40/50 pounds within a span of 3 months. i just thought i was losing weight for walking around the city to go to classes and spent a majority of the money i had saved up over my childhood on clothes that i have never been able to fit in aside from those few months at the end of 2013.

the day the game grumps released that one wind waker episode about dans ocd story was released during this time. i watched that episode and immediately started crying bc i knew i wasn’t okay. i had completely changed in a span of about 2 months at that point. i was sad and didn’t know what to do. i constantly wanted to not exist and spent a lot of the time crying and sleeping and starving myself. i called my mom and asked for help. parents tried helping but they didn’t understand at the time what depression meant on that level. i told them maybe i could handle school better if i dropped one of the 4 classes i had. and of course i dropped the history class and not any of the studios. i made schedules and plans to complete the semester but i still. felt overwhelmed and not good enough and lonely and sad and frustrated at these emotions because i couldn’t just focus like a normal person. i lies to my parents to my grandparents to a lot of people that i was continuing my work but i stopped doing 2 of the remaining 3 classes altogether. ended up with withdraw failures in them.

the last class was my life drawing class. i enjoyed it a lot. i took a train into the city to go to it. i found peace in the hour listening to music to get there. i would talk to dean before he went to bed on my way there and greet him in his mornings when i went home. i thought i could handle it and it was going well. besides for the assignments that were meant to be done at home. we had a final that was meant to be an illustration showing our learned skills in the class in a 24x36in size. not bad at all. i got the paper, had the sketch. i just had to do it. but i didn’t. when i was in that room at my grandparents place i felt nothing but emptiness. so i filled it whatever i could think of

my hyperfixation of things soon moved to the release of frozen. i had followed it previously and was excited to go see it. i had bought the classic dolls for the main characters the day they were released and left them in box in case i didn’t like the movie and wanted to sell them. my immediate family came to visit my grandparents for thanksgiving that year and i asked my mom if we could go see frozen at it’s earliest showing on release day. she agreed because i lied to her saying my figure drawing class had been cancelled for the holidays (it wasn’t bc we were meant to show progress on our finals)

i cried so hard so fast bc whatever i was feeling i felt through elsa. i projected so much onto her and i fell in love. it gave me a second wind. i bought the frozen soundtrack and would sing along to let it go on the way to the train station. i felt like i could overcome my depression as simple as that. but circumstances don’t work like that

i never turned in that final despite it being the assignment where “if u don’t turn it in u fail”.

i dropped out of art school, telling my parents maybe i wasn’t meant for art. i’m not good enough to make it in the industry if i’m like this. i was gonna go home and go to the local state college instead. get a degree in something ... useful.

i left art school with a total gpa of 0.9

elsa is a character that’s just. i never understood the popularity frozen had. it has problems. it’s ... not that great honestly. but elsa stood out for me. she was some sort of proof to me i could be happy.

a lot has happened in the past 4 years, but i can say i’m honestly happy. i have a lot of good things going on. though i think the most important to this story i guess is ?

i’m graduating with my bachelors in art in may. my gpa is back at a 3.6. i took 3 studios classes this semester on top of 2 art history lectures and made it through. i thought so little of myself and my abilities over the years. i never thought i’d graduate college at that point i was at 4 years ago. when i applied to my local uni, i had to appeal to get in because of my low gpa from those 4 semesters of art school. i spent 2 years there not knowing if i even wanted to do art again. but i realized this is something that’s always been a part of me. it’s who i am? and i want to use this talent i had to. make it in the industry. my dream for as long as i can remember is to make media for kids who feel lost and alone. it’s always been my dream and i won’t let anyone or anything keep me from trying my hardest to make it happen, which includes not letting myself stop me.

i don’t know what the future holds but i’m excited to see where it takes me

and it just happens to involve me and my fleeting hyperfixation on elsa asking for the olaf’s frozen adventure limited edition elsa doll for chrismas because i want to say i look at her and think everything i just said

but in reality i just go shheeeees my wiiiiiiiife i looooooove herrrrrrrrr