#bc i understand & i feel u & i believe in u

[jeeliebeeliegoomiebear]

On Isolde and Many Doors (and One Key)

Thinking about Isolde and how she feels like she is constantly trapped in a small cramped room full of 1 million doors. Each door represents a presence that haunts her, an identity that lives inside her that calls to her from beyond the grave, a new mask to dawn.

If every person in the world were to have a room, most would have just one door, their own. But not Isolde.

Isolde feels like an empty vessel who is only there to serve as a point of entry for other people and their spirits. She has been forced to become so repressed by her environment, upbringing, and her nature as a medium that she finds it easy to forget herself. Her “self” is not someone she has ever been allowed to know.

The room grows increasingly smaller, claustrophobic and strangling her with pressure as the amount of doorways in it only increase, every new person she meets a new doorway she is plagued with, a new voyeur who has granted themselves full access to her life and her body. Something she is now willing to let them do. It is easier that way. Easier to let someone else command her vessel, something that never solely belonged to her to begin with. An escape from all the pressure, the expectations, the perfection demanded from her. It is something she should do. The duty of someone like her. Something to hide her wretched face from view, to give the people what they want, to uphold her family’s legacy. A performance that was never allowed to end. Each new door lead right back to that.

The only exception is Kakania. The only person Isolde believes has ever really seen her as more than a host for other identities or something to mold into shape, prop up as a set piece. A perfect lady. The star of Vienna. A tragic heroine. A dangerous hysteric witch. A curse manifested. The only one who was ever interested in finding Isolde’s door and that door alone. When she is with Kakania, a new door does not appear in that ever shrinking empty room, although at first she expects it to. For the first time she meets someone and is not greeted with a new ghost to haunt her. Not a door. But a key. A key that Isolde knows can unlock her own door, even when she herself cannot find it.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

Suspirium - Thom York

[yuwuta]

aughh that f2l drabble u did was SO GOOD i love megumi being angry at his own feelings... even in a not physical reaction way ehhe i think he'd be so grumpy when he catches himself thinking ur pretty !!!! pls rot with me ..

megumi is sooo funny because he gets angry at his own feelings for… existing unintentionally, and then remains upset when he acknowledges them but doesn’t do anything about them 😭 he’s emotionally intelligent, just not emotionally receptive or available which is a hilarious combination bc he’s stewing about his own feelings instead of… feeling them 

he knows he likes you. great. except it’s not because he didn’t ask to like you, or to think you’re pretty while you’re with him walking the dogs. logically, he understands this conclusion: you are pretty, but that doesn’t mean he wants to be distracted by it. and, sure, when he is thinking you’re pretty, he has such a soft look on his face, his eyes are so warm and his features are so relaxed, but the second he realizes what he’s thinking, his face screws up so quickly, you’d think you just kicked his puppy or something. if you ask him what’s up, he usually rolls his eyes and keeps it moving, but occasionally, you’ll catch him in on a particularly talkative day, to which he’ll confess, “your hair. it’s cute,” he grumbles, “why?” and then won’t give you a chance to answer, or even make sense of him, before he’s on his way. 

there comes a point where he just begins to sigh. he sees you and he sighs, you touch him or hug him and he sighs, he opens the door to pick you up to head to the movies with nobara and yuuji, and he just sighs, because you’re all dressed up and you look good, but if he’s going to cope with this he needs to turn around and starts heading for the car while you try to make sense of him and catch up to his scurrying. it’s exhausting. he didn’t ask for this, but he’d rather die than not be around you, so such is life; but he’d also rather die than tell you about any of this, which somehow, adds more anger to this equation. 

[lemongogo]

what is their problem tbh

[imunbreakabledude]

saw a post saying “the only reason Israel exists is because of western oil interests” - and my thoughts here aren’t specific to that one post but a similar Sentiment I feel like I’ve seen a bunch… it feels… off to me when I see ppl on the left express this notion that Israel is wrong and evil BUT NOT Jewish!!! They don’t want to be antisemitic and they know that Israel does not represent all Jews, and they also want to call out other factors that ARE very significant factors in the past & present of Israel’s militarized existence, but they go so hard in that direction that like… it gives me the Bad Vibes in a different way. Different example that gave me a similar feeling - couple weeks back I remember seeing several friends shared an insta post that was all about Christian Zionism with stats and graphs showing the numbers of Christian zionists, how way more zionists are Christians than Jews, like a 9:1 ratio, and it also said something like “ZIONISM IS ANTISEMITISM”. Which - I wanna be clear, I do think raising awareness of that info is helpful, and I do personally feel that Zionism is harmful to everyone including Jews (but I wouldn’t call it ‘antisemitic’ bc I feel that’s deliberately pushing the limits of words in a way that less clear and more inflammatory than it should be).

But anyway both of these examples feel that common thread to me of like - calling out REAL factors that are at play in Israel’s creation, continued existence, relationship with US (and other) imperialism, but also… like… trying so hard to say “it’s not about Jews, it’s not about Jews at alllllllll!” When like. IT IS A LITTLE ABOUT JEWS, PAL? and it’s okay to acknowledge that?? And honestly I think trying that hard to ignore or talk around the notion of Israel as a Jewish homeland EVEN IF YOU DO NOT PERSONALLY AGREE WITH THAT NOTION OR THE WAY ZIONISM HAS USED VIOLENCE AND COLONIALISM TO MAKE IT HAPPEN, just makes it harder to contend w the reality of the situation. let alone communicate w people who aren’t already on the same exact page about this issue as you are. Like this attempt to try to critique Israel while so desperately talking around the Jewish part is well-meaning, I know, and probably in part a practical defense/response against those who continue to lob accusations of antisemitism against any critique of Israel, but at some point you sound ridiculous

[taegularities]

some men are textbook villains fr

[rivangel]

floch was a lot more likable when he hated himself fr😭

[thaliasthunder]

as an atheist that was even physically forced to hear unsolicited religious discourses of "how wrong i am", how "im gonna burn in hell" or "god hates/is dissapointed of me" from believers after saying im atheist, magnus being atheist without being antagonized or questioned for it is something so fucking personal to me

[bunnihearted]

ᯓ★

[astralscrivener]

aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

[44hive]

the amount of mp’s that have tweeted abt palestine and needing a ceasefire suddenly forget all of that when asked to go vote. all the labour mp’s abstaining are cowards and none of them are safe from being removed by their constituents.

[teddybearsims]

𝕁𝕦𝕕𝕖'𝕤 ℝ𝕠𝕠𝕞 | ℙ𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟚 | 𝟙𝟚:𝟜𝟝 ℙ𝕄 ⋆⁺𖤓₊⋆

[projectdivaar]

SEASON 4 FINALE.........I felt genuinely ill the whole time like my stomach was twisting I was gonna throw up oh my god what the FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bo0zey]

Did I miss "back from the war" recreation or is that not happening

OK so i've been meaning to address this for a while because it’s actually something i've been genuinely annoyed/sad/upset about; my original plan to recreate the post was to go to riot fest & have someone take pics of me during MCR live in person (caption wouldve been something like ‘when will mcr--omg they;re Back from the Warfdskns’ lol idk). i ended up 2nd row from the barrier & i was like OMG bc i didn’t expect to get so close & i was like ‘WOW these r gonna b such GR8 PICTURES!!i;m so lucky!!this is gENIUS!’ & so my plan was literally going according to/even better than planned right?? i mean the fact that i was ~a few feet away from the stage n was ~1.5hrs away from seeing mcr LIVE??? my plan was going along SUSPICIOUSLY well..everything was falling into place TOO perfectly...it was almost to good to be true right??? IT WAS. everything went to shit & my plan fell thru during the last band before MCR when my body suddenly fell victim to the effects of being crowd crushed for >7 hours straight; i experienced syncope & was pulled over the barrier & out of the pit by security.

sooooo, you didn’t ‘miss’ anything; the post was supposed to be recreated at the concert, but the universe pulled an uno-reverse on me when it remembered i’m on the universal ‘Do Not Ever Allow to Be Truly Happy’ list lol. i meant to post an update abt my failed plan afterwards, but tbh the actual event in itself made me wanna fr kms, and i felt even guiltier/worse for being unable to fulfill my promise to u all bc i fr planned on recreating it at the concert. 'ok but u were still at the concert after u got pulled out’ ok physically yes but mentally N-Ooo. due to the hypoxia (lack of blood blow/oxygen to the brain) i’d obtained secondary to being crowd crushed PLUS the psychological trauma of being removed against my living breathing dying will from the pit (btw the psychological trauma has nothing to do with being crowd-crushed but im not gonna get into that turmoil rn lol), i was stuck in an altered mental state for the remainder of the concert. i was dissociated for mcr’s entire set until i woke up the next morning & it took ~3-4 days for my body to fully recover from the physical trauma of being crowd crushed.

i still plan on recreating the post eventually, but tbh it’s not rlly my top priority atm bc 1) i still can’t come to terms w/ the fact i lost my 1 n only chance to experience MCR live & 2) imo seeing MCR live was the perfect opportunity to recreate the post & that clearly didn’t work out for me sooo now i have no idea how else i can top that idea :( .

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

jjk chapter 240 spoilers under the cut !!!

NO THOGUHTS HEAD EMPTY ONLY. KENJAKU BRAIN :3 FACE

GODDDDD THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD IM SOBBING ……. unironically one of my fave chapters in a while i ADORE kenny n takaba n their dynamic ….. :’3 pls gege drag this fight out ….

i got so many kenny crumbs again too 😥😥😥😥🤧🤧🤧🤧 he looks so insanely good im falling to my knees im experiencing rapid heart palpitations im losing it etc etc . he is so Mommy

the whiplash i got from this also. holy shit.

i love love loveeee how this chapter just perfectly encapsulates the kind of character kenny is bc he is simultaneously the most funny and the most horrifying jjk character … takaba has such a pure sense of humour meanwhile kenny’s idea of a funny gag is seeing a fkn headless CORPSE like 😭😭😭 yeah. i can already tell im gonna adore this fight i rly hope we get to see takaba’s backstory next week !!

[starlooove]

And I’m standing ten toes down behind Eloise