#bc i laughed too hard at it yesterday and it has shaken me

[boohoo-cracker]

so which one of you was gonna tell me that youtuber and twitch streamer georgenotfound is actually funny on his tiktok

[unexpected-nightview]

In many of your answers you mention that Zhang Rishan is a bit of an idiot and it isn't helped because Ba Ye can be very hard to read. How do you feel about Hanahaki disease fics?

I MEAN. WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT IT DOES SOUND WAY MORE MEAN THAN I ORIGINALLY INTENDED TO SKSKSKSKSKSSK But. Yeah. I mean. I do love my Zhangs clumsy and borderline dumb when it comes to romance because let’s be real. They put so much energy into fighting, looking cool and mysterious and whatnot...that some things should be lacking. Also it’s very endearing to have these almost godlike characters to fail at something so “mundane”? And so very, very, VERY entertaining >:). Now. About the Hanahaki Disease. I’ll admit that I haven’t read that many about it? Not bc it is unappealing but I guess at some point I made up my mind that most of the times it ends with the character’s death (probably untrue but the brain works in mysterious ways). And I so happen to avoid that sort of fate. Because, while I do love my angst, I prefer when it comes with the reward of a happy ending ;_; Howeverrrrrr! (no tw warmings bc there isn’t much that could be considered graphic or gory or whatever, JFYI)

I kind of want to tie this with the headcanon that Zhang Rishan is just the *worst* when it comes to him getting sick?

Like. Maybe the Zhangs, Ba Ye and someone else (Jinxi? Old Wu? for variety’ sake) return from their latest tomb raiding and aside from a few scratches and bug bites, they are all pretty much unscathed. Rishan returns home, goes to sleep and wakes up with purple petal flowers scattered around his chest and pillow and his lungs feel a bit...congested? Stuffy? But that’s probably due to all the dust he breathed yesterday. And the petals...I mean. He has seen weirder things. So who knows. Probably there are some mice running around the mansion? He makes a mental note to notify the servants and off he goes. It’s going to be a busy day that will most likely turn into a busy set of weeks so there is no time to waste. No sir, no amount of dust-congested lungs is going to stop Rishan from doing his work. The problems starts when during one of those pesky coughing fits petals keep pouring and pouring out of his mouth. His subordinates freak the hell out and they call Fo Ye who immediatly drags Rishan to his room while asking one of the soldiers to bring Ba Ye to the mansion ASAP. (Should I mention that just by hearing this Rishan starts coughing again purple and pink petals? yeah. that.) Ba Ye of course is as ????? as both Zhangs are. What Rishan has is *not* a normal disease. Perhaps it’s a curse from the tomb? What it is clear is that it falls under Qi expertise. So Fo Ye and Ba Ye decide that Ba Ye is going to stay at the mansion and do his research there bc that way he can supervise Rishan more closely. Rishan tries to convince them that it isn’t necessary but Ba Ye gives him a *look* and he has to stop mid-sentence bc his heart is doing a *thing* and he can feel more petals coming out. If he didn’t know better he would assume that Ba Ye is more scared than he is letting on? Like. Yeah. That does make sense. They are friends. Right? Or more like comrades? Brothers in arms? That might be too much....He is the sibling of Ba Ye’s bff? Friendly acquaintances that have gone through many perils together? That’s it. Anyway. Ba Ye should know better by now. Rishan is strong and can deal with worse things and really there is no need to make that painful face each time Rishan starts spilling pink petals left and right.  So Ba Ye stays and makes sure that he is always by Rishan’s side. And Rishan doesn’t know what to make of that. He is glad that he has company now that Fo Ye has forbidden him from doing any task that isn’t paperwork...but...the time they spend together is mostly a quiet one, with Ba Ye focusing on studying the hundreds of books Fo Ye has managed to gather in order to find a cure. And the thing is. Bored and restless as he is...Rishan finds himself more and more distracted by the sight of Ba Ye reading in front of him. At first he just observes Ba Ye’s features, marveling at the softness of his eyes, the elegance of his nose...then his attention lands on the silent movements that animate Ba Ye while reading. How his eyebrows twitch when he thinks he has found an anwer....how he bites his lip while concentrating. However, as charmed as Rishan is, he always makes sure to not let Ba Ye catch him staring.

Days turn into weeks and weeks into months. Rishan is starting to find more and more difficult to leave his room but he fights the tiredness just so he can spend a few hours with Ba Ye. The piles of books that Fo Ye had brought are getting smaller by the day and no cure has been found yet. Their time together is less quiet now, even more when the only thing they can do is wait for more books to arrive. Rishan can see how the situation is also taking a toll on Ba Ye. He looks thinner, paler. The rings under his eyes are starting to get more and more noticeable too. For days Rishan fights the urge to ask, no, *demand* that Ba Ye goes home and get some damn rest. But he knows Qi Tiezui can be as stubborn as a mule so he bites his tongue and fights the urge to cough up more red petals.  One day though, he can’t stop himself and clearly, that the most stupid thing to do. Because now Ba Ye is looking at him with this *painful* expression, mixed with so many things he can’t put a name on and it’s making Rishan feel like choking. He gets one of the worst coughing fits yet, red and yellow petals keep pouring out and the only thing that keeps him anchored is the warmth of Ba Ye’s hands on his back.  When he finally manages to calm down, Ba Ye brings him to his room. They walk, side by side, Tiezui’s grip on his arm never faltering. The man keeps talking, probably trying to lighten the mood, most likely to hide how shaken he is. At some point he offers to go to the kitchen and make Rishan’s favourite soup. That surprises Rishan bc he doesn’t remember telling him that information, but Ba Ye only offers a soft smile and a “It’s the way you look when you eat it”. And Rishan looks at that smile, those gentle eyes and finally realizes it. Zhang Rishan is hopelessly in love with Qi Tiezui. That night he starts tasting blood in his throat. A week goes by and Rishan can’t leave his room anymore. He can only lie on his bed, and fight the coughs and the yellow petals that keep pouring out of his mouth. Much to his surprise, Ba Ye doesn’t return to his house. Instead, he stays at Rishan’s room, keeping him company. Sometimes he reads stories out loud. Sometimes he rants about some issue happening at the incense hall. Sometimes he just stits there, staring quietly at the floor. Rishan notices how Ba Ye flinches each time the petals come out blood tainted, but he doesn’t say anything.

Time passes but Rishan is too weak now to even notice it. His whole world is just the room, the petals and Ba Ye’s voice. During one of his lucid moments, he hears Tiezui coughing. Rishan manages to open his eyes quick enough to catch a few yellow petals falling from Ba Ye’s hand. And that...that’s what does it. He sobs, broken and ashamed because whatever this disease of his is, it’s now inside Ba Ye’s body. And he feels so terribly guilty because if it wasn’t for his weakness, this wouldn’t have happened. His eyes are so filled with tears, he can barely see anything. However, he can feel warm hands cupping his face. “Rishan, what are you talking about?”. And because he is weaks and so very exhausted... “I love Ba Ye”. Rishan was sure those warm hands would move away, angry and repulsed at such confession. And yet, there they stay, taking away the tears and turning his head to the side. Ba Ye is there, eyes filled with nothing but tenderness and sadness.”You daigua. You really had to wait until now to tell me that”. Ba Ye’s voice is faint and broken. “That’s so unfair of you”. And his face must have done something, because Ba Ye gives him the same look that he has been giving him these last months. ...Oh. “Oh indeed”. Ba Ye laughs bitterly and leans forward, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead.  And then Rishan starts coughing. He coughs and coughs and coughs and now there is nothing but white petals. The coughing doesn’t stop and Rishan is starting to feel the lack of air, slipping faster and faster nto unconsciousness. The last thing he hears is Tiezui’s voice calling his name. And then nothing.

.........................

And bc I said that I like angst with happy endings....*drumroll* Rishan wakes up the next morning, weak but with his lungs free. Tiezui is sleeping next to him and there is a fuckton of white petals lying around. Fuba survive, get healthy and live happily ever after! YEI LOVE WINS! :D Initially I wanted to keep it more summarized since the Hanahaki Disease isn’t something I’m that familiar to? But then...mayhem!

PS : the petals are from chrysanthemums and the thing with the colors is a mix between what I found while looking around and my own interpretations. *jazz hands*