#bc i guess hes never rlly experienced or seen what its like to be a gender ig

[moon-swag-tourney]

please tell me about your blorbos/myshows i have questions

these are all the series/characters i want to hear more about,,, don't fret if your blorbo isn't on here, some of them i just don't want spoilers for, and others are from things I'm already a fan of!

this is. kind of long bc im curious about a lot of things. but if you spot your guy in here feel free to send me an ask or respond to this!! also this is just in alphabetical order lmao

The main things I'm looking for are:

About the character

The premise of the series theyre in

Please assume this has spoilers, btw!

Aruru Otsuki - Revue Starlight

tbh I don't understand what kind of franchise revue starlight is so that's my first question. But I also see that a lot of people love her and i wanna know what's up with that!! i heard a lot about her experiencing potential found family trauma and that's always interesting to see

Bayonetta

this is kind of a weird one bc tbh bayonetta is rlly popular as is, and it's something i've been wanting to get into for awhile, so my main question is: is it inappropriate for minors or could i watch it and if so what's the best order/sequence to watch the games in??

Cure Moonlight / Yuri Tsukikaga - Heartcatch Precure

tbh im just gay on this one. but I saw a lot of love for her even when she had zero propaganda so i wanna know what makes her so beloved by the precure fans?? and tbh if the precure she's in isn't too long i'll probably watch it

Hisoka Mikage - A3!

I'm gonna let you guys on a secret. this dude is the reason I wanted to make this. he only had one submission but on top of being a long one the amnesia storyline just appeals so deeply to me please tell me how I can absorb info about him and/or watch canon events of him oh my god

Judith - Tales of Vesperia

i think i mentioned it in the ask about her but she's seem interesting!! and im always down for some sapphic storylines!! a lot of it is just that ive heard the tales of vesperia name but never really knew what it was, but off of the descriptions i do have i could enjoy it and wanna hear what exactly it's about?

Moonlight Cookie - Cookie Run

i've. tried to get into cookie run before. but i just couldn't bring myself to care. so i guess my question is can you guys please tell me about how she's a lesbian, as someone who has zero bias whatsoever (lying i am a lesbian) and also just what appeals to you about the story so i can maybe give it a second shot?

Sigma Klim - Zero Escape

listen im all for mastermind plots, even if I know the plottwist going into it. ive seen fanart of 999 from an artist i've admired for awhile and it looks like it could be interesting but i don't know what the series is about so please tell me if you don't mind,,

Sirius Gibson - Witch's Heart

im a sucker for games with different endings, and also a sucker for small indie games that have a lot of passion put into them. i'm not actually sure if that's what this, but that's what i assume it is, and it looks interesting enough to give a chance either way? but i don't

Ursula Callistis / Shining Chariot - Little Witch Academia

so uh. fun fact. one of my siblings actually tried to get me into little witch academia once! and then we never continued bc i guessed the plot twist of the teacher being shining chariot, but that was very early on before i'd really gotten attached to anyone. what im trying to say is if you can pitch the writing and/or characters of this that would be epic sldkjf

Vanitas of the Blue Moon - Vanitas no Carte

i honestly can't remember what appealed to me about em off the top of my head, but it mightve been that one post with the gifs going a bit more into the lore of the story? as of now im just a sucker for the aesthetic but i wanna hear more about the premise to see if its my kind of story sdljf

Yue / Yukito Tsukishiro - Card Captor Sakura

i actually have friends who are fans of ccs! well. friends of friends im not super close to but it still counts! i wanna hear more about them bc tbh i both think he could be interesting and im sure said friends would appreciate it :'D i also just don't know a lot about ccs premise though, if you'd like to offer that instead!

[emberglowfox]

Arthur is trans? That is so cool!! Oh, that brings up another question: Does Zarian understand the whole trans thing? I know he’s super intelligent and what not but at the same time a lot of trans experience is a bit more.. emotional / mental (at least for me)

OH BOY YOU HIT ON ONE FAVORITE SILLY THINGS I CAME UP WITH here i talked abt this w friends a while ago let me grab it. readmore bc there's a lot

TLDR: not at first, but he comes to eventually, partially because he is brainfused to arthur and as a result is kind of backseating his gender euphoria LOL

(these are discord messages i've attempted to format + some elaboration on things people might not know, in brackets.)

so it’s like. the sentient robots ([DRACOs and PULSARs], kathos is kind of his own deal) don’t exactly like. wake up with a gender rlly? like they know what it is— i’m not really sure what the baseline of information they wake up with is, but i think they have like a vague bookish understanding of most things, but are kind of clinical in that it’s not hands on info really so they don’t have like… idk a deep understanding of it? like it’s uncertain surface level knowledge, kind of childish, almost. [imagine reading a book about a train. you know what it is, conceptually, but you've never seen one in person. it's effective, but different.]

so, again, they know what gender is, but don’t have one internally. DRACOs left to their own devices, especially in groups (so, the decoms [i can't remember if i've said this, but the decoms are 'decommissioned' dracos that never got corrupted. zarian is one of them. i think i have?]) kind of… figure it out eventually? like they somewhat arbitrarily decide “i will use these pronouns” for clarity's sake. some even go so far as to say “i’m a girl/i’m a boy” if they find they enjoy it, but it’s not all of them. v1s that connect with a pilot have access to… kind of their memories? it’s hard to explain, like they can’t rewatch things their pilot has experienced exactly but they, on top of the baseline knowledge, get their pilots understanding of the world. [i gave an example of this but its spoilers teehee.]

a lot of times, this also results in them copying their pilot’s gender identity, because their understanding of it is now colored by their pilots emotions and therefore they’re like oh ! this is good then! a DRACO that does this may end up changing their mind if left to ponder it long enough (tramsgener…) but usually like they’re content to like. bum hits of gender euphoria off their pilots i guess LOL

zarian iiis kind of a mix of both? zarian gets both his name and his pronouns from captain zarian, an in-universe comic book hero. he’s a he/him user but not a “man”, he doesn’t really care. this ends up more or less compounded when he gets fused to arthur, and he ends up enjoying being a “boy” in the traditional sense a bit more.

[touyaz]

Hello!!!

Huge congrats on your milestone!!!! Wishing you even more success!! 🥳💕💕

I was wondering if I could get a toxic matchup for JJK and/or BNHA?

I love to read, draw digital art, watch political comedy and documentaries about anything. I like cafes, movie theaters, scenic walks, nighttime, spring and fall!

I'm shy/reserved when I first meet someone, but affectionate, playful, and cuddly when I'm comfortable with them. People tell me I'm a warm and soft spoken person.

At the same time tho, I'm rlly sarcastic and into a bit of dark humor, but again that only really comes out once I'm more comfortable with the person.

I'm also rlly protective and loyal to the people around me, but because of this I also don't let alot of poeple get super super close to me, I prefer a small tight knit group of friends. I'm also rlly great with secrets.

I'm a procrastinator and have some anxiety which prevents me from going after things that I want and that can impact my self confidence.

I think in a partner I wouldn't like someone who lacks kindness or sympathy, or someone who I can't banter with. I also wouldn't want a partner who has no goals of their own.

Thank you!! 💕💖

- @ame-791 (this is my side blog, you might have seen me in your notifications!!)

AME !!!!!! thank you so, so much 💘💘💘💘💘💘

i'm gonna say toji is your toxic match-up !! honestly, good luck even trying to get into a relationship w this guy bc commitment is not his forte :/ he's someone thats v hard to connect to on a deeper, more emotional level, so god knows if you'll ever get to drop your shy nature around him; its hard to feel at comfort + drop ur walls when youre around a man like him — someone who seldom sticks around and really only chases after his own pleasure. i think it'd fill you w a lot of doubt/ insecurities, make u question whether he actually likes you, or if he's just in it for the fun, which will def ruin ur self-cofidence and make u retreat/ second guess what u really want. he's also v closed off and detached (makes it easier to just dip lmao) which completely contrasts ur willingness to get closer + be someone he can depend on — honestly it might freak him out + make him distance himself even further and he could end up leaving u in the dust bc he's not exactly drowning in friends and love so he's not used to it. you can banter w him but he has a cynical/ darker view on life which may feed into ur humour (except he's probably not joking when he says dark shit :$). he's also not the kindest/ most sympathetic person; he never experienced that growing up, and he's just not equipped w the knowledge of how to deal w anxieties/ insecurites/ weakness w anything more than "tough it out. get over it." cool guy but not bf material </3

[acespec-ed]

hi!! I was wondering if u could help me? I’m alloaro and I just discovered the term aromid… and it makes me question myself. I’m very unsure if I’m on the asexual spectrum or if I just experience sex repulsion sometimes? I’ve looked at so many acespec labels and cannot find one that actually fits me. literally I’ve seen them all. I haven’t really felt comfortable calling myself ace and I do enjoy saying I’m alloaro but I wonder if I’m actually on the ace spectrum as well… how do I differentiate between sex repulsion and asexuality? For one, I’m hypersexual and feel the need/pressure to be sexual or I’m not good enough… and I do want sex I think? I fantasize about it and I enjoy smut and some art .. but when I visually see nakedness or irl sex… it makes me feel very uncomfortable and I don’t enjoy that. I enjoy the thoughts and fiction and when people are only partially clothed…. but I just have this feeling of repulsion and fear of actually doing it irl (what if I hate it and it makes me uncomfortable?) and when I think about it I do imagine myself and this other person but it’s also hard to actually see us and not just faceless non existing people… and idk how much of me wanting sex is just pressure from hypersexuality or me genuinely having sexual attraction … idk if I really have much of a libido or want for sex?? would I be able to call myself alloaro AND aromid.. as in I’m alloaro but possibly SOMEWHERE on the ace spectrum?.. or maybe I’m just sex repulsed and fully not ace at all? I feel like my situation here makes me unable to call myself alloaro but I AM alloaro and I love being alloaro… I don’t wanna stop saying I am but it also feels like there’s more to it?

same anon from before! I read a post of yours about the umm “allos see ‘cake’ and immediately know they want to eat it” and it confuses me … idk what I experience? I see fictional characters and I can go “they look sexy I am attracted to them maybe if want to have sex with them?” I see people and ??? idk sometimes I get unwanted thoughts of having sex with friends when I don’t actually want to or find attractive…I can see people and think they’re sexy/attractive .. but idk if I’d think “yeah I’d have sex with them” I mean it depends bc I think someone can imagine having sex with someone and enjoy it and want it but would they actually wanna seriously have sex with that stranger without having any connection with them…? Sex is scary so I’d need to know and trust them maybe… be scared to show my body..but I don’t think I’d be comfortable calling myself demi? Idk I don’t get this .. do I look at someone and immediately think whether I’d want to have sex with them or not? I really don’t know … also.. so…. Libido is just wanting sex in general and sexual attraction is wanting specific people?… how do I differentiate all of this it’s so confusing! I guess MAYBE I do look at peopl and go “wow they’re pretty/sexy id want sex” BUT I DONT KNOW LIKE IDK HOW TO EXPLAIN IT… am I not allo WHATS going on here .. can you explain what it would be like to be sex repulsed AND allo instead of ace? and the difference between that and being ace and sex repulsed? thank u

~~

I’m so sorry I’m saying so much I just have no one to talk to :C … but um… someone told me “if you’re sex repulsed .. you’re still allo unless you feel like u don’t relate to being allo anymore” and I’m honestly so confused because…. do my weird feelings towards sex influence my sexuality? do I still feel connected to being allo? personally I feel like these feelings are ones allo people don’t typically have ..plus I’ve always felt bad for not being sexual enough or feeling the same sexual feelings as people/ (also why do I have sex repulsion I don’t think I rlly had much sexual trauma going on.. some little incidents but still??) and if I told allo people these feelings… they would not relate and would think I’m weird for it ..but an ace person might relate and would understand … I feel like it does influence how I see my sexuality/attraction and complicates things…however.. I feel like I can’t call myself acespec bc often I want sex (even with a specific person.. although they look different when I imagine them and also don’t exactly have a Look/face/body in my head..same with me) often and I’m hypersexual so I like over sexualizing myself …plus I like saying I’m alloaro and don’t want to let go of it… nor do I want to ID with a specific ace spec label.. I’d like to just say I’m ace (just like how I call myself aromantic even when I’m specifically gray romantic) why can’t I just be ace and not ace at the same time or in between I don’t know 😭…. what do allos experience how is their life like with sexual attraction and how is someone’s life like without sexual attraction … I don’t get it at alllllll

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I saw you sent three asks and decided to combine them all in this post to make answering this easier. Just reading these asks are making my head spin, so I can only imagine how confused you must feel. And it's fine that you're sending so many asks- I know what it's like to have no one to talk to about things.

I'll start this off by saying you can call yourself whatever you feel most comfortable calling yourself. And if it's alloaro, then of course you can keep calling yourself alloaro. You do sound like you could fit somewhere on the ace spectrum, but I couldn't tell you where.

A lot of what I'm about to say you might already know, since it sounds like you've been doing your own bit of research, but here I go.

Whether or not you desire sex on its own doesn't determine if you're asexual. If you've never felt any urges to have sex with anyone specific, then you haven't experienced sexual attraction. So it's helpful to remove your interest in sex itself, along with libido, when questioning. Focus it all on if you've wanted sex with anyone in particular. If the answer is no, or very rarely, it's likely you could be on the asexual spectrum. You mentioned you've experienced it towards someone specific, so it sounds to me like you'd be in the gray area, if on it at all.

I will say, it is totally normal to be nervous, and even scared, of having sex at first. A lot of allos are able to get over this fear- possibly because of sexual attraction. I first felt sexual attraction towards my boyfriend, and though I was repulsed, I wanted to do sexual things with him so bad I was able to get over the fear and disgust through slow exposure. So I think sexual attraction on its own is a huge motivator to "get over" sex repulsion and go for it.

Of course, you should never do anything you are not comfortable doing. And never force yourself into doing any sexual activities. A lot of aces have ended up with trauma over that sort of thing. The reason I went for it was because I naturally became comfortable with things escalating as time went on. Kinda like exposure therapy, I guess.

I'm not sure if you already saw it, but I did write this post on an experience I had where I was sex-repulsed by someone I was sexually attracted to. So it is possible to be sex-repulsed and sexually attracted to a person, but I understand how hard it can be to tell for sure.

I can't tell you what it's like to be allo. But other than the few times I've experienced sexual attraction, I lived my life with a libido directed towards no one, fluctuating between being sex-indifferent and repulsed, and occasionally getting a crush I had no sexual attraction towards. 

As for what it’s like being sex-repulsed and ace: I can’t imagine having sex with anyone. I just can’t. Every time I get a crush, I try to imagine sex with them, and my brain just shuts that off. It wants nothing to do with those thoughts. Sex-repulsed with sexual attraction: It’s only happened twice and the first time (with my bf) I had no idea wtf was going on and it was 10 years ago so I can’t remember enough to tell you aside from what I’ve already said. The other time though, I wasn’t 100% sure if it was sexual attraction at first- but my body became aroused at the sight of him, and the arousal went away when he left. But when I thought of sex with him, I was grossed out. But I kept forcing myself to think of sex with him, and grew more comfortable with the idea. And the more I thought about it, the more I figured, “hey, maybe I am sexually attracted to him.” 

Every person is different though.

I can totally understand your confusion because some of your experiences sound like you’re allo and some sound like you could be acespec. I honestly don’t know what else to say or what answers to give. I will say this though: I strongly doubt any allo has had to question their allosexuality as much as you are.

But circling back to what I first said: you can label yourself as whatever you feel most comfortable with. It’s okay if you don’t fit the exact definitions of an identity 100%. Every person is different, even those sharing the same label. And if you decide your experiences are just too complicated for a label, you don’t need one either. 

Sorry if this was all over the place, but I hope it was somewhat helpful!

[cozyteez]

Hii, do u have any tips for writing fics?? I’m so used to writing research reports, lab reports, and formal essays that creative writing has become something I really struggle with. I guess it’s having the freedom to write anything and not knowing how to make sure it’s not corny. I tried outlining a fic one time but it was so frustrating LOLOLOL. Anyways, I love your ateez fics. They are so cute and creative!!

hi !!!! im like rlly touched u asked me and i feel u actually that's why i started this blog; im a biomedical engineering major so as u can imagine i dont get to take much creativity with what i write because writing papers and reports and proposals are so formulaic and u gotta stick to the facts so that being said i actually tested out of all my college writing classes so all my writing knowledge is from ap english in hs lmao so take it w many grians of salt

the #1 thing i do when im feeling sort of unmotivated about a story or maybe like like dragging myself thru mud to write it is to just write the "fun" part first. to me the fun part is usually the climax or maybe the like the "wouldn't it be cute if..." moment that came to mind that inspired me to write a blurb in the first place! then usually once i sort of get the ball rolling on that my brain will help me out and keep the momentum going by thinking of maybe "oohh okay maybe this can happen next" or "oohh and what if this led up to it" or !! just stop there !! something ive learned from my mx writing blog which is like a year older than this one was that you don't owe anybody context especially for a blurb so maybe it really is just 3 sentences of a cute moment u thought of like its whatever ur the one writing it

now for longer fics im going to be honest jongho's first love is my first and only completed attempt at a multi stage coherent story. and that was fueled purely based on the fact that when i look at jongho he just gives off sort a really excited sort of innocence that i wanted to further explore and personify through the idea of him experiencing love for the first time but even then i really struggled w the last part because that's where my personal experience stopped and i had basically nothing to go off of because ive never been in love so i did have to kinda wait for ideas to come to me. for prince yunho i have posted 4 chapters but have all the way through chapter 15 drafted. and by drafted i mean it's like 3 sentences of the overall idea. again, the fic was inspired by the duality between yunho's on stage vs. off stage persona where if somebody was to watch an ateez performance for the first time they may find him very serious and maybe even intimidating but atiny would know that his off stage persona (the one he choses to create for us anyways) is very silly and happy-go-lucky and approachable, which is why prince yunho is seen as narameth's strong and stoic pride and joy but in reality he's sort of clumsy but means well. so i let that and his relationship w xenia who is an original character (OC) sort inspire stories or interactions that i force into a plot line. so for example i believe when i first started thinking abt a prince au for yunho i thought "wouldn't it be funny if the first scene started out painting him as this strong and serious man and then cut to him choking on food or something" and that sort of inspired the idea of him being nervous abt the speech and then xenia came out of that because he needed a complementary character imo since i knew he was gonna be kind of one dimensional and then his backstory with xenia inspired other ideas and then one day i was sad and wanted a hug so that inspired a piece of the plot line and so on. so basically: let an idea or even an aspect of somebody come to you and just write it down, let it inspire other ideas. and don't be afriad to completely start over. i wrote a whole chapter for prince yunho and deleted the whole thing because i hated where it was going and started back from scratch. sometimes you have to revisit things abt your characters and their relationships with others to get a new idea. there's a story in every person and every relationship you just have to find the clues

here's an example of what i mean by "write the good part first". this is typically what the very first draft of a blurb will look like for me

((( blah blah blah basically its raining and y/n is sad bc wooyoung broke her heart two weeks ago idk maybe go into it maybe not)))

y/n is all sad and feeling sorry for themselves on the couch theyre past crying but still feel pretty shitty plus it's storming and cold outside. great

there's a knock on their door ofc they have the cliche "who could that be moment" even tho they lowkey know. we literally all know

so yeah wooyoung's there soaked in rain eyes puffy y/n thinks he's been crying

-this would be the "fun part". i'll fix all that garbage up top later or maybe even change it completely idk yet-

"y/n? i - uh. hi"

he sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck while you crossed your arms over your chest, fighting the urge to close the door and walk away for good

"hi? really wooyoung? is that the best you can do?"

(((wooyoung does smth idk)))

"well i just -"

"you just what? showed up here in the rain after you broke my heart and didn't even bother to tell me why? this isn't some romance movie, asshole. you can't just come here late at night and expect to find me all sad and willing to take you back because i'm not. so say what you're gonna say so i can get back to my life"

your face was red hot and you trying very hard, probably too hard, to fight back tears. ((( idk talk some more abt y/n's emotions then what wooyoung is doing)))

"look, i made a mistake i-"

"oh my god! why did i know you were gonna do this. i just knew as soon as i saw you-"

"will you let me get a fucking word in!?"

well that was new. in the entire time you'd known him he had never raised his voice at you like that, your shock causing you to immediately close your mouth and fold your arms back into yourself (((make y/n seem more scared))) noticing your reaction, he lowered his voice back down and instictively reached for you, heartbroken at the way you jerked away from his touch

"please y/n, i'm sorry. i didn't mean to raise my voice it's just that i need to tell you that i regret what i did i regret breaking up with you so fucking much and you don't have to take me back i just need you to know how much you meant, no, mean to me. i still love you, a lot. there's not a day, an hour, a minute, or a single second that goes by that i'm not thinking of you"

"then why?"

your voice was small and wavering, your tears now dangerously close to spilling down your cheeks

"why what?"

"why did you break up with me like that, just all of a sudden"

he pushed his hands into his pockets and looked away

"because that morning i woke up before you and when i looked at you asleep next to me, i saw myself spending the rest of my life with you and it scared the shit out of me"

"why did it scare you?"

"because i just figured you didn't feel the same. i was selfish and wanted to save myself heartbreak down the line and so i told you i didn't wanna be with you anymore, but that was a mistake because it turns out i can't function with out you, i can't breathe without you i can't live without you, y/n. i shouldn't have let you go"

tears were now freely flowing down your face (((okay brain no work anymore y/n kisses him duh and then ofc they make up wooyoung prob says smth cheesy and y/n is like ur lucky i love you or smth ahaha the end)))

tl;dr -> don't be afraid to get messy. creative writing is not nearly as structured as academic/scientific writing. write whatever u want first it can even be the middle of a huge fight scene or some dialogue u think is funny. if ur stuck read what you have or maybe just take a break and let an idea come to you. a story doesnt have to come together til the very end so it can be as messy and out of order as u want until u wanna post it. also i would always use the third person omniscient point of view for a longer story like a chaptered fic as a default and only change if it would impact the plot in a negative way. this is where the narrator knows what every character is thinking/feeling and im p sure a teacher in middle school told me it was the easiest to write and follow

[saltine-kakyoin]

OH SHIT!!!! my clown ass never saw that u rb'd those ask posts, i was Looking at my notifs to see if u would so i could send u some but SOMEHOW I MISSED IT??? clown hours.... ANyways for the emoji one have 🤗💙💘🍀😇 and 👍 (tried to not do repeats from your ask 2 me cause they all apply anyways but, Regardless) and for the questions post, maybe 5, 11, 12, 17, 20, 23 and 25? ;__;/ ily so much and i hope u have a rlly lovely night!!! and that this coming week is kinder 2 u!!!! 💖💖💖💖

ahhh, it’s no worries!!! idk about you but for me, tumblr has been having the Time of Its LIFE lately wrt notifications and most disconcertingly, unfollowing people! D: so i completely get it, it’s no worries!!! ;w;/ i already know for a Fact i’m going to write so so much, so i’m gonna put this under a readmore >w< ruth 🤝 sarah respectful lesbian moments

edit: so I finished writing it and it’s Insanely Long- just in case you don’t make it to the bottom, thank you mein broth-er!!!! ; O; i hope you have a wonderful night too!! writing all of this out made me reminisce on some really nice times, and I’m having an a1 night! ^^ ilysm! it’ll probably be daytime when you read this, so i hope you have a great day! <3

🤗 given the chance I would gladly hug you

on god!!!! ;___; i think i would frfr dissolve if a got a Ruth-Certified hug, things have been so overwhelming lately

💙 you are my closest friend

the feeling is mutual!! <3 we don’t always get to talk often, but fhdhshg when we do we talk about like All of the Madness in Sarah’s Mind^tm, and you are so patient + tolerant of my incoherent ramblings which is something i don’t think i’ve ever fully experienced? anyhow, after a year (more than a year?) of having these kinds of convos and going through the general madness of life together, I totally agree ;w;

💘 I love you so much

i love you too!!! so so much!!! 💃🕺 i don’t think words will ever be able to express how much i love and appreciate you! 💜💛

🍀 i’m lucky to have met you

i know we talk about this often, but seriously i feel the same way! it’s a little crazy that we met, technically, because Joseph Joestar tm deserved more than to be a cheater... there is something hilarious about this wild friendship rooting from him!! of all jojos!! 🤢 but i’m so grateful that we met, it’s been such a wonderful ride ;w; <3

😇 you’re a sweet cinnamon bun

🥺🥺🥺🥺 bro i- fhdhghdhgh thank you!!! ;o;

👍 you are fun to be around

ahhh, thank you!!! i am glad you feel this way bc whoo boy, i think some other people would look at the madness i tell you about and go 👁️👁️ that’s a no for me, luvs. remember last year when i was losing it tryna prepare for ren faire + i cut my palm on that one glass bottle? bc a- i barely do and b- i feel like that moment encapsulates the nicki minaj roman holiday-ness of my life XD i’m really grateful you’ve stuck around through it all 🤗💕💖

now buckle in bro!!!! the essays are incoming!!!

5. Name a movie that makes you genuinely laugh.

i swear on my life the Mortal Kombat movie from 1995 is a national treasure, it is SUCH a solid movie and has so many funny moments. Robin Shou makes such a 🥺🥺 Liu Kang, and jesus fuck he can be so savage when the script calls for it!! there’s one part where he takes Johnny Cage’s luggage and straight up fucking chucks it into the ocean + then bullies him about it later! honestly the Ballad of Johnny Cage and His Luggage is one of my favorite parts from the movie <3 if you haven’t seen it + you like cheesy, old school movies, i really recommend it!!!

11. Describe the memory of the last time you felt true happiness.

So I can’t remember the last time I did, bc my memory is horrifically terrible + probably getting worse as time goes on?? but i will tell you about one of the more recent times I remember! :D There is one crucial expository note for this memory- my brother-in-law makes THE best chili in the entire world. my brother and I were trying to recreate it because it’s such a simple but delicious + filling meal- I think this was our first time trying to create it? and it was SO chaotic, the tomato sauce and stuff kept popping and burning me and we weren’t 100% certain that we’d gathered the right ratios for the ingredients and it was just. madness lmao. Chance’s chili is one that you leave alone for multiple hours at a time (I think this is the case for all chili but i don’t cook often enough to know ;__;), and we were kinda 👀👀👀 because we weren’t sure it’d turn out right? But it did!!!! I vividly remember when it was finished and we taste-tested it + went oOOH FUCK! it wasn’t quite the same as chance’s but ohhh my god it was so good 🥰🥰🥰 but yeah!! we ate it all up and I think this was around the time I started my playthrough of Esteban for Dragon Age 2? which was one of my favorite playthroughs for the entire franchise... he’s just a simple ig beard model mage ;w; i wanted to show you what he looked like in this post but the formatting went wonky so ig i’ll just post him separately?? it’s 1000% in-character for him to infiltrate my jojo blog 😔

12. Name a song that makes you feel ethereal.

hm...I’d say it’s between Forget About or Feet of Clay! They’re both such light and tenderhearted songs, and when I listen to them I feel like I’m in an apartment kitchen slow-dancing with a love, and it’s so dark except for the slowly rising sun. I don’t know if that feeling could be described as ethereal? but it’s close enough for me

17. What is something you own that is important to you? What makes it so important?

I have a small collection of scripts from the shows I’ve been in, and two of the most important ones are from the plays my high school put on during my sophomore and junior years, The Nit-Wits and The Musical Comedy Murders of 1940, respectively! The Nit-Wits has a ton of sentimental value to me because it was the last show I genuinely acted in, and it was a show we had to pull together in 2 or 3 weeks!! We were originally going to do a murder mystery play for the fall, but none of the cast was feeling it and it just wasn’t going to come to life in time (honestly this speaks volumes for how much we weren’t vibing with it, because all of our shows came together at like.. the final dress rehearsals if not opening night lmao). I vividly remember we took a vote during rehearsals about whether or not to switch the show, and then we did and it was SO fun + chaotic!! My character was one of the only regular characters in the show, but I think everyone else had a lot of fun acting as actors who were hired to be maniacal, and that made acting off of them so fun! I remember there was also a night my friend Adonis almost tore the entire set down because he ran through a door and tripped over a set brace in his haste!! The Nit-Wits is hugely important because it was a really fresh acting experience for me, and again, my last time genuinely on the stage and not behind the scenes!

MCM is important to me because it was the first play I ever stage managed! I’d stage managed our musical the spring prior, but that was a huge undertaking and involved many different people and moving parts. Stage managing a play, at least at my high school, was a calmer and more intimate experience, and one I really enjoyed! Another huge reason I treasure MCM’s script is because it is one of the last shows I had with my friend I told you about- he was a senior. I have little notes and doodles from the cast and crew scattered throughout my book for this show, and I remember being so irritated by this because it meant I was losing space for stage directions, cues, and notes. Now, I’m super grateful to have these scribbles- it’s one of the only things I have left of him. 

On that note, relating to him, MCM is also the show which birthed my most horrific theater horror story!! During one of the performances, I guess he forgot his line?? idk. But he ended up jumping six pages ahead of where the current scene was (I knew this bc I was following along in my book backstage + was frantically trying to figure out where he’d gone), which threw the entire cast, who were all tragically onstage, way off-track. This resulted in the most frightening game of script ping-pong I’ve ever seen: he’d skipped six pages ahead, so Adonis ended up saying a line from two pages after the six-page skip, and somehow someone else went!! oh I have a response to that line! And then said something like 9 pages back! I think the lead actress tried to ground everyone back to the lines they were supposed to be saying, but she ended up just saying a lot of their lines? And one of those lines that was supposed to be said by someone else was supposed to cue a black-out that someone got murdered in, but my lighting techie was SO fucking lost (we were both huddled over the script next to the breaker trying to figure out WHERE the hell we were! i think i had a flashlight in my mouth so I could flip through the book with both hands and thus faster??), so ofc the lights stayed up! I remember getting through this scene being the most painstaking endeavor of my entire life, but thankfully intermission was right after it! We actually extended intermission because the cast needed a hot second to fuckign RESET for Act 2 bc sweet jesus that was so bizarre...Needless to say, after that show we never messed that scene up again + everyone who acted in the show became super anal about knowing their lines as the years went on. The Six Page Skip became a legendary part of our hs theater Canon (like biblical canon ;w; although I don’t think anyone’s talked about it since my class graduated) alongside the times one of our ensemble dudes had to break through the roof of the girl’s dressing room to retrieve the keys to the theater + i got stuck on stage!

20. What’s the sweetest thing someone has done for you?

I really had to wrack my brain to answer this one, as I’m generally not the person people do things for, you know? This answer goes wayyy back, to 8th grade :O but so! there is mild exposition for this- when I started middle school, I lived in North Carolina, but we moved to Florida right before 7th grade bc my grandma is ill. We lived with my uncle while we were looking for a house, so I went to the local middle school bc why wouldn’t I? but in November, we finally found a house + my mom was like....So... are you going to switch schools or...I’d struck up some really solid friendships in this time, so i was like Mom I’d Rather Die OAO. So, we struck up a deal that I’d get to stay at that school on a zone waiver + that she’d drive me to school everyday. Sometime closer to the end of eighth grade she was like, yeah so.. I can’t do this for high school, it’s too much gas- which was valid! I was really sad about it, but I sucked it up.

Anyhow, fast forward to the last day of eighth grade, which was perhaps the saddest day I’d lived up until that point, mostly bc I knew I was probably never going to see all my friends again. My best friend, who I was like hardcore v close to + the person I shared all my wacky AUs and OC’s and headcanons with, was waiting with me for my mom to come pick me up, and then!!! When my mom pulled into the school she suddenly whipped out this lengthy letter she’d written to me about how much she enjoyed my friendship and how grateful she was that we were able to have lunch together (lunch was.. tragically ;__; the only time we really saw each other that year), and that she would never forget me! And she’d drawn me a ton of fanart from all the things I was obsessed with back then!! it was so much so fast, but then my mom was yelling at me to get in the car and I had to go :(

We kept in touch through email freshman year + fake-dated bc a senior was stalking me? ;J; and then we went to Megacon together! but I became really heavily involved in choir and theater after that, and we just kind of drifted apart :( we do follow each other on ig tho! It’s insane to think about her and that letter because on GOD ruth, that was a thinly veiled love letter and I never like... wrote her anything back that was as worthy as what she wrote me. But, she’s doing really well in uni now, so I guess it’s all okay? idk! ; o ;

23. What’s your zodiac sign? Do you think you fit the general characteristics of that sign?

I’m a Cancer!! and also a metal dragon by the Chinese Zodiac, which I’ve always thought was pretty sick! :3 I am 10000% your stereotypical Cancer, super emotional and introspective + often prone to tears ;u; My mom always said that dragons are steadfast and loyal people, and I think this also applies to me, to a fault. I checked around some websites to see what characteristics were often applied to metal dragons specifically, and it seems they are pretty strong-willed, ambitious, and generous? I don’t know if you could call me strong-willed or ambitious, but it’s all good ig.

25. What’s a song that gives off good vibes anytime you listen to it?

Ohh man, I went in on this question for Shannon, but bc I was digging around my library for Jules, I actually found an old fave! This song is from one of my all-time favorite musicals, Once on This Island- it’s The Human Heart! This song is so sweet, and god between the writing for the orchestra + the writing for the ensemble, this song is a straight masterpiece <3 I love love love the line, “Through your love you’ll live forever”, and although I am Hardcore Terrified of getting a tattoo, I really want that line tattooed on my body. if you have time, I recommend giving Once on This Island a listen!! I’ve never heard a show that uses its instruments and singers the way OoTI does (and holy FUCK it is so breathtaking live!!! I got to see it on Broadway and bro.... 🥺🥺 it was transcendental..)

[emo4life]

kdrama recs

i haven’t watched a kdrama in a long while, i think the last one i watched was oh my ghostess um but these are the ones ive seen and good and everyone should watch them

- the lover !!!!!!!!!!!!! (the gays , bless but the other couples are good too 😔 i cried but it’s so funny too like!!)

- reply 1988 (this was rlly long ..long eps and i didn’t finish it but i know how it ends and im SATISFIED)

- oh my ghostess (this had me STRESSED and the guy was so cute and concerned pls …a sensitive beefy man)

- descendants of the sun !! (people w tear ducts grab your tissues! jinki crying the whole time was a Mood™ :””( also the ending eps made me wanna SCREAM.. AND the couple is MARRIED IRL !!!)

- my love from the star (ICONIC ! LEGENDS ! the ending disappointed…a big let down but.. HES AN ALIEN !!)

- cheese in the trap (STRESSED.)

- WEIGHTLIFTING FAIRY (listen they love each other sm my heart hurts. also wow a beautiful couple ! and i think they had good subjects AND also the cameos ., my moon lover stan self was satisfied)

- boys over flowers (… i can never finish this …but listen the scene where they’re bullying jan di and burn her bike and - IT RLLY IS AN EXPERIENCE. the styling gave me a headache honestly.. horribly iconic also stand by me ????!! iconic AND almost paradise too)

- cheer up/ sassy go go (HAKYEON!!! omg also jisoo was in this and eunji pls this was cute and srs)

- MOON LOVERS (LISTEN. WATCH THIS I MADE MY FRIEND put it on and she was NOT having it and neither was i tbh the first ep confused ,,, BUT ALSO ? THAT SAME NIGHT or next day? WE FINISHED IT ENTIRELY??? THE EMOTION. POWERFUL.)

- w two worlds (this was fun and cute not a personal fav but it rlly was entertaining also THE ENDING !! me and my friend were played when watching this bc we thought there was an ep after idk ANYWAY lee jong suk is a handsome fellow the concept is rlly cool)

- masters sun !! (the lead actress is so pretty n cute i love her this SHOW was cute and had ghosts ! iconic ! i didn’t finish it i think bc seo in guk was making me sad 🤮😭 but def should watch)

- ITS OKAY THATS LOVE (LISTEN. i think this was like the first drama i watched…no one of the first and wow !!! again..THE EMTOTION. u just gotta watch ..it was long ngl and took me a while but ?? like !! also CHENS OST!! life changing and powerful where is that one edit of the cartoon kids crying to it)

- to the beautiful you (PLEASE SGSJDB THIS was prob the first drama i watched lmao lov u minho… idek what to say about this u gotta watch for the experience also i was STRESSED. like i never experienced this before also the second lead sgdjbdbd hes so cute shsh when he was imaging what they would do when camping poor kid lmao…anyway it’s just an experience also jinkis ost is so beautiful!! all the OST songs r !! also i still don’t understand WHY she had to go to korea like it seemed dramatic- )

- SHE WAS PRETTY !! (i rmr my friend kept telling me to watch this so i was like :| ok AND I DID AND DO NOT REGRET. I LOVE THIS DRMAA LISTEN. ! THEY LOVE EACHOTHER this and weightlifting fairy..tru love even tho well like in this one it’s more dramatic relationship wise bUT !! THE ENDING 😭 truly one of my favs possibly THE fav)

~~~

shorter web dramas i guess?

- exo next door (again …an experience. sehun and the coffee brother are legends that’s all i gotta say ! show stealing !)

- choco bank (CUTE!!!! im the debt.. I can NAWT rmr how this ended but listen i rmr i thought it was cute!!!)

- lilly fever (we love gays! please this was super super short the ending was weird i think svndbd but wow legends)

~~~

other ones ive watched but idk how i feel !

the producers (iu ..beauty! idk i could just never finish this i think i would just forget sgdjdb but it’s cute n funny ! there’s this one clip from it that made me SCREAAAAAM also heart by iu ?? one of my fav songs😔)

reply 1997 (LISTEN this ain’t bad wow i love the 90s and suspense BUT i couldn’t stand the older brother lmao)

hwarang (i watched like four eps… listen i love minho and taehyung and also that guy from she was pretty AND the king dude in this was cute but … i could not. like the plot needs to be FIXED the king dude deserves better idk i can’t rmr sgdjdb)

[letkeithinfodump]

hey im sorry if this is annpying but i rlly like your autistic allura headcanons and i was wonderin if u had any autistic lance hcs? ive only seen like 3 autistic lance posts and its bummin me out bc he deserves more (also not to be salty but like,, imo the reason there isnt more autistic lance stuff is bc he's social but like,, autistic ppl can be social! i personally like to hc that he flirts n such so that he can get more confident w his scripting,, so.. yeah thats a bs argument hes autistic)

don’t worry ur not annoying it is tons of fun making these!!!

- he’s got no social fears. none. when he was younger he introduced himself like “the name’s lance, i like blue and mermaids!” to everyone. but he’d never dare go one word off script. when he got older he shortened it to just “the name’s lance”

- he was… really gullible and didn’t understand a lot of things as a kid and a lot of allistic kids took advantage of that. he’s very mad and embarrassed now that he’s finally processed what they were doing but it’s not like he can do anything about it. he’s still really gullible now but he has better friends

- putting on and taking off his face mask is honestly such a stimmy experience it’s so good

- he’s got fluctuating empathy!!

- lance, experiencing hyperempathy, looking back at a time he was experiencing hypoempathy: god i wish that were me

- lance, experiencing hypoempathy, looking back at a time he was experiencing hyperempathy: god i wish that were me

- he keeps his hair short because he just Can’t Stand the feeling of hair on his neck. he has no idea how keith does it

- yea, he thinks things through before he does them, but he doesn’t think things through before he says them. it pops into his head and then out of his mouth.

aaaa i wish i could think of more but i can’t think of any i haven’t said already so i guess the post ends here

[gh0stpkmn]

Yooran AU/scenario where yoosung has a popular gaming channel & streams his gameplay 

(under the read more)

yoosung is #2 in his server soooo... he’s probably well-known among other players?? 

(fuck idk how league of legends and world of warcraft work because ive never played either but. anyways.)

i dunno if its common for people with a really high ranking to be like mini-celebrities in the community but.. for the purposes of this whole shebang, yoosung is really well known 

and very popular especially because he goes out of his way to help out less experienced players even though he’s one of the big guys at the top, you know? very humble and very kind which only makes him stand out more

eventually people suggest that he try streaming on twitch (or “afreeca” which a lot of south korean gamers use i think?) and make a gaming channel. and he’s all for it!!!! 

yoosung’s channel gets popular pretty quickly?? he starts out at a solid point because his LOLOL buddies that he usually plays with and his guild members support his channel/streams a lot and spread the word (when they’re not playing w/ him while he streams ofc)... it doesn’t take long at all for it to rlly take off, and he gains a decently big following!!

he’s already been dating saeran for quite a while when he starts his channel but saeran is very shy so yoosung is careful to respect saeran’s privacy. when saeran is over while yoosung is streaming, he stays out of sight of the facecam and keeps quiet

yoosung’s LOLOL friends know him though bc he talks about his boyfriend every now and then in voice chat w/ them,  but also bc saeran is at his place a lot and they hear him in the background, or hear yoosung talking to him occasionally.

i guess at some point during one of his streams, his buddies casually ask where saeran is and they ask how he’s doing and all that... because he’s never in the streams at all and they haven’t heard from him in a while. 

yoosung’s like  “yeah he’s here! he’s doing alright! just hanging out watching tv.” 

and his fans who don’t know abt saeran are just like. “?????? who is saeran” yoosuung tells them that he’s a friend that hangs out his place a lot and that he’s just sort of shy (2 respect saeran’s privacy and also bc they haven’t decided if they wanna be so publicly out yet??)

and naturally, his viewers are kinda curious and it makes them more curious when yoosung and his friends bring him up briefly but saeran is Never seen or heard in any streams or videos. the boy is a goddamn Mystery to yoosung’s viewers.

tbh saeran probably like.. watches the streams a lot when he’s not at his boyfriend’s house but he uses some random fake name or some shit so no one in the chat can tell he’s there.

eventually like. he gets less shy, more comfortable and he can be heard in the background making a noise or smth. asking yoosung a question. that kind of thing.

the first time it’s an accident and everyone is like “!??! who is that???” and yoosung tells them and they get So Excited and respond with “!!! THERE HE IS!!!! the elusive saeran!!” yoosung and his friends just laugh bc its funny n cute?

but ye he steadily makes more casual background appearances and it pretty much becomes one big meme with yoosung’s friends and viewers. they say stuff like 

“new cryptid discovered”

and “he’s a legend.... a myth... no one has ever seen his face”  

(shitty harry potter quote) “it’s like trying to catch smoke... like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands.”

“some say he can wipe your memories so you forget that you ever met him”

its. so good... Every Time they hear the fridge closing or a voice in the background or they catch a lil flash of red hair behind yoosung on the face cam, the chat Explodes like “THERE HE IS!!! there he is! he really does exist!!”

they both find it rlly hilarious omg. saeran says it’s stupid and dumb at first but he obviously loves it... he laughs out loud a few times watching what people are saying abt him while he’s at yoosung’s and ppl hear it and are like “!!!! what is he laughing at??” 

yoosung: “ oh haha he’s lookin at the chat right now”

the chat: “omg he sees us!!!!” 

“saeran! reply if you’re real! we need proof!!!”

“there he is. the absolute madman”

“hi, saeran!” 

“you should sit by yoosung so we can see you!!” 

“saeran!! hello!! have you eaten?”

its so sweET and cute!! and i feel like maybe around this time as stuff like this continues happening.. a lot of viewers kinda assume or are starting to suspect that they’re dating? idk. 

maybe yoosung doesn’t outright say anything or confirm their relationship but there are a lot of clear signs like...yoosung moves away from his mic t talk to saeran more often (stuff like asking him what he wants for dinner, laughing abt some offhand comment he made)... the fact that saeran is at yoosung’s so often, too. it’s obvious that they’re very comfortable with each other and they seem close

and a biggest indicator is probably the way yoosung talks abt saeran when the chat notices he’s there in the bg? like:

“Aw, you guys, you’re making him embarrassed.”  or  “...Huh? Oh, don’t worry! He’s not replying because he’s really shy.”  or   “Haha, I think I can see him blushing!” 

this probably goes on for a pretty long time? a few months. gradually saeran appears more, comes over to comment on the game or how yoosung is playing, maybe cheer him on a little? while mostly staying out of sight... tho sometimes when he feels less anxious he’ll be directly behind or beside yoosung in the facecam feed. 

his viewers think he’s super cute when they see his face for the first time, and they say so in the chat. yoosung agrees w them like 

“Yeah. He really is, isn’t he?” 

and the chat Explodes again bc

that’s probably the first official confirmation in a stream that they’re in a relationship. saeran is embarrassed and flustered and annoyed but also kind of happy and he says “Shut the fuck up.” and covers his face w his hands and he’s Bright red but also smiling just a teeeny tiny bit behind his hands.

yoosung’s LOLOL friends are so relieved that they don’t have to keep it a secret anymore and they start teasing yoosung in streams almost as much they do when they’re just playin together casually

after that, ppl start suggesting/requesting that saeran and yoosung play games together on the stream!!!

 and at first theyre a lil hesitant for a few reasons? like, saeran still has a lot of issues and gets vvvvvery Anxious so it might be a bit stressful for him. and also that content would be so different than yoosung’s usual stuff.  

(also even tho they’re never that affectionate in streams bc saeran is iffy about pda, theyyyy... still worry a little about people bein’ dickbags bc its a mlm relationship and the internet can be a mean place... idk i also dont know how widely accepted same-gender couples are in south korea?? but ye) 

BUT a lot of ppl seem to want it!! 

so when saeran gains enough confidence, they do it!! they maybe make a separate channel for streaming that stuff. they just post recorded videos on his regular channel tho under a specific title and it’s its own little series.

and it turns out it’s almost as popular as his other content and does rlly well! 

occasionally they play LOLOL casually together but saeran isn’t rlly into it as much as yoosung is so mostly they play a bunch of different multiplayer games. they also play a lot single-player ones that are very story-driven or just. interesting in general.

a couple times they play horror games and those ones are really popular bc yoosung gets So Scared. he Hates horror games he’s so jumpy at everything and screams so loud. 

meanwhile saeran barely reacts. he might occasionally get surprised by a jump scare on his more anxious days but most of the time he’s like....... so.. calm. so unfazed by everything that viewers are like “what the fuck dude” “how is he so chill right now”

however... even tho the horror game streams/videos are rlly popular, they don’t do them that often bc yoosung gets legitimately scared often to a point where he doesn’t enjoy them lol ... its ok tho bc saeran snuggles him afterwords but. YyYYyeeah. yeah.

saeran and yoosung have a lot of fun and their viewers love them and it’s a very good fun pure thing n everyone is happy. 

the end

( really Unlikely but cute bonus for a few years later:  yoosung fucks up on the stream talkin w his buddies and accidentally mentions smth abt proposing to saeran before he actually does it and bc he’s streaming to a fuckton of ppl, it gets around so fast and saeran finds out right away. yoosung is so embarrassed and frustrated that he ruined the surprise )

.

god pleas e... talk to me about yooran. i need people to talk to about this ship so i can stop posting long things like this like a loser lol