#bc i got it from depop

[waterlilychaser]

wait i am just now realizing that my prom dress is giving book hermione’s yule ball dress

[eddiethehunted]

just bought some new summer work clothes bc most of mine are like nearly a decade old and falling apart and it fucking cost me almost 400$ … you know who doesn’t have that money? me. put that shit on my credit card and burst into tears the second i got to my car

[inhidingxoxo3637]

How I feel with my Suzuki clothing collection that should've cost me £120 but I got it for £43 BC I LOVE bargains

[lesbiacnh]

omg i just drove around aimlessly today bc i was getting a little sick of being in the house. and deep cleaned some random closet in the house again. im working on my new island after like cataloging almost everything in the game. took pictures of clothes for depop. finished my class work.

[therealvalkyrie]

got new basic white sneaks bc my old ones r literally falling apart at the seams and a) they’re so fuckin stiff omgod and b) they’re so white it’s literally blinding!!! my feet r a driving hazard, I feel like it’s illegal for me to own shoes this white

[monkeydlesbian]

todays fashion trends are really funny because people are fighting each other on depop and in thrift stores over white dad and grandfather-esq clothing when all i have to do is wait until my grandpa and dad are doing a closet clean out

[evermorre]

my karma jacket came and it’s perfect omg

[d1anna]

pretty sure my depop package got stolen 🤣🤣

[stateofgracetaylorsversion]

GUESS WHOSE CARDIGAN JUST GOT DELIVERED AHHHH

[comradeocean]

1. i found myself explaining it to people i know who weren’t there, and realized that the defining thing about the phenomenon was the way they were working class in a specifically british way - not unique but very distinct from the us boy band (was explaining this to a zoomer mark fisher fan so she got it). people remember that liam wanted to be a fireman but forget what he actually said was “i would have worked in the factory or maybe been a fireman.” liam specifically

I have not been able to shut up about this since it happened. like, I have this whole half-baked theory about 1d being the last act to be globally popular before the total hegemony of the US centric (internet) monoculture. it seems quaint now, how Liam still talked about things being American or Hollywood, and then self-consciously defining himself in opposition to that. I feel celebs don't necessarily do that anymore? like influencer culture has cut off tall poppy syndrome and assorted post-war anglo inferiority complexes off at its knees. which are, again, also such classed expressions as well!

the other wild thing about Liam's vocational aspirations is fireman was probably like fourth or fifth down the list. closer to soundbite fodder. in the same interview where he talks about his family being in massive amounts of debt, and the aeroplane factory where his dad worked as a fitter, he reveals this whole plan he had, where at the age of sixteen he'd done up the sums of the apprentice wages he was expecting at the factory, the 60 pounds given to his parents for boarding, and then made a budget for SAVING UP FOR PROPERTY. bc SINCE CHILDHOOD he'd been obsessed with renovation shows and the idea he'd buy a shit place, fix it up, then rent it out, over and over again, AND somehow key to this scheme as he was describing it, was that he himself would continue living in rentals or with his parents, at sixty pounds a month! I mean it's possible I've misremembered, but I'm fairly certain that was the gist. and don't even get me started on the whole nft thing or him being a depop girlie!!!!!!!!!! talk about being a child of post thatcher's britain

[also so funny you are the second person to bring up mark fisher unprompted in response to that post]

EDIT FORGOT TO MENTION as part of my Why 1d rabbit hole, I was trawling through the bios of other 2010s boyband wannabes and the majority of them were soooo posh like I shit you not the xfactor product the following year had a member who was an award winning ex jockey

[landososcar]

so high school ; JB5

pairing(s) ; jude bellingham x singer!reader , jude bellingham x student!reader

summary ; twitters favourite new(ish) artist drops her new album right during her school year.

warnings ; nothinggggg & mainly just fluff bc i love happy people

note ; SORRY ITS SHORT AHHAHA, i’ll post a new lando fic soon i just have no inspiration… ignore any dates that are wrong or don’t match - im lazy. also this is VERYYYY LOOSLY based off so high school lol (it’s mainly the aristotle line)

instagram !

liked by judebellingham, taylorswift, and others

youruser surprise !!!!! as an end of term present (for myself🤭🥳) and in honour of knowing the loml for 15 years, here’s 15 new songs for you guys to (hopefully) enjoy 😊 noah, thank you for trusting me and letting me join you on what might be one of my favourite songs ever!! i loveeee youuuu. && to my jude<3 thank you for inspiring me every single day of our lives. i love you bigger than the whole sky 🩵🩵 (guys he’s actually v v talented and he helped me write scared of my guitar, hard to sleep, and feels like) j, you are my safe place and these songs — especially the ones i haven’t let you hear yet — are for you.

ps guys idk how to only write happy songs but jude is the only one who makes me feel safe enough to express my emotions through my songs 😁 i looooovvveee him and am NOT 🙅‍♀️ breaking up with him. he is stuck with me forever💞

‘the alchemy’ is YOURS tonight at midnight 💓

view all comments

user1 WHAT

user2 YOU CANT JUST DROP THIS ON US WTF

oliviarodrigo my girl💞💞 i’m so so soooo excited😭

user3 GIRL I KNOW YOU DIDNT JUST CALL THE ALBUM ‘the alchemy’ FOR NO REASON. WHERE TF IS THE TITLE TRACK I KNOW YOUVE GOT HER SOMEWHERE

youruser jude and i love the alchemy the most out of all the songs and wanna keep her just ours for a little bit longer but maybe if you guys enjoy these songs i’ll let you have my baby

user4 YNAJDKJSKDKDIS

user5 WHATTTT songs did she not let jude hear omfg i need to know

youruser he’s heard them all except for daylight, paper rings & so high school lollll

judebellingham refreshing my spotify every minute til midnight you guys don’t understand she’s kept these songs in a VAULT

user6 jude i know you love spotify but apple music get new music 10 minutes early xxx

judebellingham just made an apple music account

user7 TEN MINS TIL THE ALBUM OF THE YEAR DROPS

taylorswift so so proud of you beautiful 🩷🩷

judebellingham I LOVE YOU SO FUCKING MUCH

judebellingham putting ALLLL of these on the pre-game playlist

youruser babe idk if some of these will pump you up before a game

judebellingham hearing your voice will pump me up idc how sad the song is xx

user8 why’s no one talking about how she’s in UNIVERSITY and dropped a FIFTEEN song album like …??? she’s INSANE. WHERE did she find the TIMEEE

user9 not to mention she lives with him in madrid and does school online coz her uni is in the uk

user10 she’s insane i don’t understand how😭😭

imessages !

instagram !

youruser just posted to their close friends story.

twitter !

instagram !

liked by judebellingham, trentarnold66, and others

youruser surprised my fav person in the uk for his england game and he scored for me 😆🩵🩵

view all comments

user1 she wrote “you know how to ball” and he said “yeah” then scored a goal and did a celebration for her😭

user2 zoom in on pic 6 and you’ll see me laying on the road waiting to be run over

judbellingham ‘unemployed girlfriend’ but you’re the greatest singer on earth while also doing online uni full time and you still make time to be able to come see me

youruser it’s coz i love you so so bad

jobebellingham you make me sick

youruser i love u too jobeyyyyyy

england our favourite visitor💙💙

user3 how does she do all this whilst going to uni😭😭😭

oliviarodrigo 💖💖💖

judebellingham I LOVVVEEEE YOUUUUU

user4 i NEED the top in pic 8 where is it from

youruser i found it on depop and HAD to buy it😭😭 i think someone made it x

chappellroan HOTTTTT (you not ur bf)

youruser I WOULD DIE FOR YOU MY WIFE💓💓💓💓💓💓💓💓

user5 i don’t understand how you write sad songs like the ones on your album if ur ‘in love with jude’

user6 jude deserves better than someone who’s so caught up on and still writes songs about her exes

user7 WHYS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THE LYRICS SHE POSTED ON TWITTER IM GOJNG INSANE

user8 LITERALLY?/!;!!/;@:8@ LIKE ??????? “WHERES THE TROPHY? HE JUST COMES RUNNING OVER TO ME” IS SO JUDE CODED WHEN Y/N IS AT LITERALLY ANY OF HIS GAMES

user7 EXACTLYYYYY HE ALWAYSSS RUNS TO HER IMMEDIATELY AFTER HES ALLOWED TO DO HIS OWN THING. ITS FUCKING ADORABLE

user8 IM SO GLAD SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS ME

user7 were both insane let’s get married

user8 dm me right now wife

youruser liked the comments in this thread

imessages !

instagram !

liked by taylorswift, jobebellingham, and others

youruser lol little life update coz i’ve been m.i.a. for the last almost two months. 1: i went blonde again. 2: my man still as fine as ever. 3: got engaged or whatever lol. 4: slaying up exams. 5: i miss tour so i decided imma come back and see you all soon 🤭🤭 tour dates soon <3

ps in honour of becoming fiance or whatever🤗 the alchemy and 4 other songs are yours on the deluxe version of ‘the alchemy’ ,, out tonight !!!

view all comments

user1 WHAT THE FUCK

user2 GIRL LET US BREATHE

harrykane juudddeeeeee!!! congrats🥳❤️

declanrice mr bellingham that is a ROCK

user3 SHE DISAPPEARED FOR TWO MONTHS AND THEN CAME BACK AND DROPPED ALL OF RHAT ON HS

gracieabrams OMG WIFE IS GONNA BE A WIFE

user4 BLONDE YN IS BACK AND SHES A FIANCÉ OH MY GOD

judebellingham WIFE WIFE WIFE‼️‼️‼️

youruser not yet my love but so close🥰

judebellingham I CANT HEAR YOU MY WIFE IS AN ACADEMIC AND LYRICAL GENIUS

user5 she’s still writing break up and sad songs whilst engaged… so weird

user6 yeah and jude helps her,, he must be so disgusted right? seriously get a life and go touch grass

taylorswift so so happy for you 💓💓

youruser 🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶🫶 i love you

user7 TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR TOUR

england juddeeeeee💙 sooo happy for you two

trentarnold ❤️❤️❤️

user8 how girl just gonna casually drop a ENGAGEMENT announcement in the middle of a photo dump

user9 REALLLL LIKE THATS A BIG ASS RING TOO

noahkahanmusic YESSSSS🤍🤍🤍🤍

user10 HOWWWW is miss girl gonna find time in her schedule to do uni, make music, keep a healthy relationship, AND TOUR

judebellingham mrs*

my other works !

[dandelionxbby]

: ̗̀➛ Modern TWOW Kids Headcanons

╰┈➤ Neteyam

High school junior - 17 years old

Captain of both varsity basketball and soccer

4.1 GPA, working towards Stanford

Often spends time in the library

Reads classical literature

Played Romeo in their school production of R&J

Has his licence and drives a ford

Models for small black owned fashion brands for a little extra cash

Runs Tuk's Etsy were she sells bracelets

Collect Records - R&B and Rap

Headphones > Speakers

Introverted but Extroverted around his friends and sports teams

Teacher's pet - carries the whole class. Answers when no one else does

Often gets into fights with Ao'nung because Ao'nung wants to be captain of the basketball team

Drives Tuk to school and extracurricular activities

Love to cook, in the kitchen almost every night with Neytiri

Not that close to Jake, he craves Neytiri's approval more than his

Nose, industrial, and multiple cartilage piercings

Plays violin

Has been growing his dreads since he was 7, but they don't look bad bc he keeps up with them

╰┈➤ Lo'ak

sophomore - 16 years old

JV Football and Basketball

2.3 GPA, Lo'ak isn't dumb, he just doesn't try

Made a music video to his rap for film class and it got a B-

Facetimed Reya right after he got his grade, he was really proud of himself

Skateboards to school and practices but Neteyam drives him home

Collects 90s/00s rap CD's - eminem, tupac, biggie, etc.

Talks back to the teacher, kind of a class clown

Wants to join the Marines like Jake

Worked as a cashier at the movie theater to buy him and Reya tickets to the Eras tour. He didn't know all the words to the songs but he tried.

Is outside from the time he comes home 6:30 to 11:00 at night shooting hoops bc he really wants to be on varsity basketball with Neteyam

Always has his airpods in

Records his raps in his bathroom bc it has good acoustics

Closer to Kiri than the rest of his siblings

They all has their own rooms but he is always in Kiri's for some reason

Taper fade with braids

Besties with Rotxo, he talks to him about things he can't with other people

Wants a tattoo so bad, but Jake says "You can get one once you paid your own rent"

Has an Ig with 134K followers

╰┈➤ Kiri

Sophomore

Crochets her clothes

Thrifts or depop clothes only, doesn't believe in fast fashion

Low-key in her Kat Stratford era

Plays piano and bass

Has an all girl band - boygenius is her idols

Loves anime and K-pop - has her Bias as her laptop wallpaper

Anti-plastic, only uses her hydroflask - hates stanleys bc "consumerism has America in a chokehold"

Photographer for the school's digital newspaper

Wears dangle mushroom earrings everyday

Has a wolfcut and red hair

She has natural freckles but they are barely there so she draws them on with a brown eyeliner pencil

She's in theater club and is the composer of all the musicals

Dance moms is her guilty pleasure

Very much vegan and will give someone the stink eye if they eat meat next to her

works at a crystal shop and will geek out anytime a rookie collector ask her what a specific crystal is for

has a septum piercing

Super introverted her only friends are Reya and Rotxo

Always challenging her teachers

Her only social medias are Twitter (X), tumblr, and tiktok

Loves Taylor Swift and Minski

Watches french films and reads french books

Closer to Jake but Neytiri is her go to girl when she needs to talk

Her phone background is Grace and her when she was 3, it was taken 3 months before Grace died

Hates sports, doesn't understand why people are going crazy over football recently

Her walls are covered with posters

Low-key loves all of Lindsay Lohan's movies - she's her celb crush

╰┈➤ Ao'nung

Same year and age as Neteyam

I feel like his family is rich

Drives a benz

going to uop on a basketball scholarship

6'3 1/2 - got his dad's height

Super protective of Tsireya

On the debate team, he loves arguing

If he's not playing basketball, hes surfing, if hes not doing that he's studying

Posts him playing basketball on his tiktok and ig, hoping one day he'll get noticed by a scout, thousands of people repost his videos

Has every pair of Jordans known to man

crosses people over in the hallway

I feel like he bullies freshman boys but sticks up for the freshman girls bc he sees them as his little sisters

Ronal is the principal so he get's good food at lunch

always late to class but has amazing grades

introverted extrovert

teaches basketball to kids at the community center

Throws the best parties

brings speakers to school

Frenemies with Neteyam and Lo'ak

Of all the Sullys, Kiri is his favorite

╰┈➤ Tsireya

Sophomore - 15 years

Post GRWMs on tiktok

Tennis and volleyball

Starting ballet this year

skincare and makeup obsessed

wears her mary janes everyday

super coquette / coastal grandmother

team conrad

Loves Taylor Swift and Lana Del Rey

Priscilla, Marie Antoinette, Belle, Girl Interrupted, Black Swan are her favorite movies

Wears the friendship bracelets that Kiri and Tuk make her

Watches Vouge Beauty Secrets when she gets ready

Her favorite youtuber is Sabrina Lilliane

Thrifts with Kiri

Has a baby pink Stanley and wears ugg slippers

On the school dance team

Has a Jeep but can't drive it yet so she rides with Ao'nung

Carries K-pop Idol photo cards

4.0 GPA, she doesn't play about her grades

Often helps Lo'ak with school

Reads poetry books

Researching to start her own haircare line with the help of Neytiri

Doesn't wear a backpack only tote bags

If she doesn't have starbucks every morning then she'll be cranky all day

Always wears a locket that has her parent's pictures in it

Is the star of all the musicals

Sophomore year class president

Did the best petting zoo fundraiser

╰┈➤ Rotxo

Junior

Head of the school paper

doesn't play sports

The smiths are the only people he listen's to

works at a record shop

volunteers at a soup kitchen

4.2 GPA going to Harvard Med

OCD

Wants to be a surgeon

Manages Ao'nung social media accounts

Introverted, hates large crowds

Drives Kiri to thrift stores, they're besties

╰┈➤ Tuk

3rd grade - 8 years old

Sells friendship bracelets

Went to the eras tour with jake, had a big sign that said "Give her her scarf back, now"

She traded bracelets with a bunch of people

Did ballet for a while and hated it so now she does gymnastics

Spa days with Neteyam

in her "only eating chicken nuggets and craft mac and cheese" phase

loves to rollerblade

Has an unboxing channel on youtube

always making slime

doesn't have any electronics bc Jake and Neytiri doesn't want her to be an Ipad kid

Tuk is really popular on youtube but she doesn't know it

Loves Reya like another sister

Takes horseback riding lessons

╰┈➤ Spider

Doesn't go to Pandora High like the rest, he goes to an athletic boarding school on a lacrosse scholarship

Was really close to the sullys but since his school has a no phone rule they've grown apart

Still hangout on the weekends and in the summer

no doubt he's going pro

Grew up around military vets

cut his dreads off once he got to school

takes archery as an extra class

really good at math

The sullys send him care packages full of junk food

He sleeps over at the sullys on the weekends bc he would rather not be with his dad

Still really close to Kiri but not as close to Lo'ak as they used to be

Loves the MCU and goes to the theaters when the movies come out even if they are bad

Thank you for reading <3

[getluckylana]

Make an qutumn winter moodboard for us angelcake?

Girl I got you, just a little hint, suede & corduroy are going to be fucking huge this fall and in Red & brown hues even hotter.

I hate how mainstream the CBK vibe has gotten, even fast fashion brands are using it as inspo and it was supposed to be just for “the fashion girls”.

With that said, Carolyn worked at CK and vintage Calvin’s are the best jeans + there’s loads of corduroy from them on Depop. Only brand pants I wear these days.

Fall wardrobe is the first paragraph but Lilly Rose Dep vibes instead of CBK bc everyone’s doing that now. Nepo babies dress the best, I didn’t make the rules.

And yes I’ll be back with a mood board I’ve just been distracted from work with my new hunny.

Ps, I love you for calling me angel cake, my grandma used to always make this cake and it reminds me of her.

[celestie0]

Girl I was balls deep in my attempt to make fanart for u a couple months ago

Like I had the reference pictures collated and I sat my ass down and picked up an pencil with the intention of actually drawing something after ages

cause basically I became a lil sad cause I felt like I forgot to draw bc last year in school I took an external art subject and it didn’t occur to me that doing a hands on subject through distance study wasn’t the brightest idea

anyway that fucked me over and led to me dropping and taking up fucking legal studies 😭

Even though I’m a bit more STEM based I can still fw the wordy subjects but not this someone pls save me why am I being assessed on the bi cameral structure of parliament

saur yh I’m super lazy as is with anything so that situation just put me off drawing and art completely

congrats to me setting every world record for yip yapping and going off track

ummm yh for context it was like my 10th read through of the kickoff chapter 6 scene that compelled me to collate a bunch of reference pics that ranged from twitter smut comics to bathroom sinks and eventually I gave up because anatomy is a bitch

I changed into a dress with the same type of neckline I think reader was wearing bc of the way it tucks under her boobies and I was this close to just shamelessly positioning myself in front of the mirror to make my own references

then ofc I got distracted by a half baked portrait of Rose from titanic that I drew when I was like 15 and ended up drawing a two hour long remake of the same picture

only for my friend to tell me it looks like Mary Shelly’s ghost

Should I know who that is

To be fair it looked nothing like her but I mean it was an improvement from thinking all my ability just went poof and I drew better when I was 15

never the less I was somewhat disappointed with the product and I haven’t drawn since

wait I wanna show u actually lemme try

https://share.icloud.com/photos/0edTRG9Tb54pRh9Qe5unszRrg

the Mary Shelly in question

do these links work I’m scared I’m gonna accidentally leak personal details or my whole camera roll lol

also IM NOT AN ARTIST don’t judge me peeps I’m just a girl idek how to drive yet

I feel bad every time I send an ask I feel like I’m force feeding u Ellie babes u have the patience and commitment of a saint

also OMG IF YOU MADE ART FOR ANY OF MY FICS I’D SOB!!!!

I want to 😞🫶 but alas prospect of fanart from me will most likely never see the light of day

that crack scene in ihm was tempting tho everything u write is just so visual

♥️ mwah my gorgeous gorgeous writer wifey

hellooo my dear PLS the ramble of this ask is legendary and i found it very entertaining xD

ouuu the dress that reader wears in ch6 of kickoff is actually based on a dress that i own, here's some pictures of it!! i'm curious if the dress you have is similar!! but yea this is the official outfit reference hahah

looking at it now it's kind of a mild sweetheart neckline lol n yea def tucks under the boobs very nicely xd i was actually gonna sell it on depop a couple months ago when i did a closet cleanout but i was like nahhh i gotta keep it bc it inspired that scene

taking your OWN reference pictures sounds so badass. and its ok babe it's the thought that counts haha <3 i feel u about the losing passion/talent in art thooo aaa i used to draw too but ehh hobbies fizzle

ahh i can't see the cloud photos :(( but anywho thanks for the yap my dear!! i ate it up. also side note but i'm so glad my writing comes off visual to you!! i always worry there's not enough description in my scenes so that's reassuring to hear. much love!

[faaun]

as someone who is also trying to overhaul their entire wardrobe after throwing out fast fashion pieces,, do you have any specific brands you like, advice on places to get clothes for long-term wear, etc? ty!!

thank you for asking! this is a long post but it's been my life for a bit now so i would suggest reading through it to skip the learning stages that i went through the hard way! there is some important and useful info here :) brand recs at the end

i would suggest looking for vintage or secondhand clothes first and foremost bc that's how you can find quality pieces for a reasonable price :)

if you want pure longevity, synthetics like polyester, nylon, elastane, etc will last not only your lifetime but your grandchildrens' too. they can be quite comfortable sometimes BUT:

they will likely break down in hundreds of years

they are NOT biodegradable and so will break down into microplastics and toxic microfibers

for me and a lot of others, you will notice the difference in quality in synthetics vs fabrics like cotton and virgin wool. i refuse to buy synthetics for the above reasons but also bc they just Feel Worse idk how to explain iykyk (tip especially valuable for autistic ppl)

brands: all depend on style so look for the styles you like/want to dress in on pinterest, then track down the original designer of the dress! from there you can search irl places or plug the designers into apps like:

vinted: cheaper vintage or second hand clothes from all sorts of brands

vestiare collective: more high-end, pieces are authenticated and usually in great condition

GEM: a gem of a site truly, accumulates all the finds from your search from different websites like ebay, etc

depop: honestly not the biggest fan but can be good sometimes! make sure to buy vintage/secondhand and ask sellers for the brand to not get sold an aliexpress dupe for 100 bucks

vintage shops: especially good for accessories like belts and ties. vintage shops usually have much better stuff than charity shops

kilo sales: THE BEST PLACES IRL in my opinion i got a 2k+ virgin wool coat for £20 . honestly in my experience kilo sales are great. check out Worth the Weight if you're in the UK!

remember that brand history matters! for example vivienne westwood has a great reputation as luxury punk but the pieces produced in recent years are actually very low in quality, defintely not worth the money for a lot of people! pay for quality, not just the name :) same goes for jean paul gaultier's recent pieces imo.

additional VERY USEFUL tips:

the standard zipper used by most of the companies making your garments is YKK. if you look at any zipper you're wearing rn and inspect it closely chances are you'll see YKK engraved on it. before buying a piece check that it has opti or riri zippers - this is some indication of a higher quality

one of the first things to do before buying a piece is to immediately check the materials it's made of!! the tag detailing materials is usually towards the bottom of the garment . i immediately dismiss things that have higher than 5% synthetics but i'm just rly picky w materials

EACH MATERIAL HAS DIFFERENT USES !!! BUT GENERALLY: virign wool is the best kind of wool, full-grain leather is better than most other kinds of leather, mulberry silk is better than other kinds of silk

brand recs:

yohji yamamoto, yehufan (i own a skirt by him!!), marina eerrie, ann demeulemeester, jw anderson, solovair for shoes (much better than docs), maison (martin) margiela (esp artisanal line 0), miu miu (i wear their beret i thrifted for £15 almost every day), valentino esp pre 2021 , lemaine , undercover older pieces , early raf simons , ...honestly there's a lot, if you need more send another ask or DM :)

p.s. if u can go runway shows etc go to the sample sales afterwards sometimes the pieces there are gorgeous !! but sometimes v pricey :')

all recommendations and advice, don't take my word as gospel and defintely do your own research + formulate ur own opinions ! hope this helps ♡

[appalachiabrat]

If you don't mind me asking, what journal do u use?

so i got the journal itself from 5 below, the lace from goodwill, and the patch from depop! and then i just put it all together <3 i usually find cool journals at goodwill, but i wanted one that was really cute n springy bc i go through a journal every month or so. decorating it myself was so so fun n i will probably start doing that from now on because it feels so intimate n special