#bc i feel like i haven't tried my best being a good friend to him even tho he says otherwise

[lord-rain-master]

actually what better time to rethink your life decisions than at 1:52 am right haha

[deadsnakey]

𝐒𝐋𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 —> 𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐎˚ᡴꪫ

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ fluff ೀ Headcanons. . .ᐟ 10k words 𐙚˙⋆.˚ ┈─★

˗ˏˋ ♡ ˎˊ˗

જ⁀➴ He has a lot of issues and anger, but he tries his best to control it around you.

જ⁀➴ has never raised his voice at you because of this.

જ⁀➴ I think he's all scary and intimidating, but once you get to know him, like know him, he's genuinely sweet and a decent person.

જ⁀➴ loves being around you, he feels comfortable enough to be himself around you and that's a privilege.

જ⁀➴ loves physical touch, knowing you're still with him is reassuring and grounding for him.

જ⁀➴ spoils the actual shit out of you dude, your complaints will be shushed with a soft kiss and soft eyes, "I love you, let me spoil you, okay?"

જ⁀➴ a bad boy on the streets a gentleman in the sheets.

જ⁀➴ his friends definitely remind him how gone and whipped he is for you on a weekly and he doesn't deny it, he knows and is fine with it.

જ⁀➴ if yes ever making you uncomfortable or doing sum you don't like, he stops immediately and never does/says it again. He'd hate for you to be uncomfortable let alone from him.

જ⁀➴ loves showing you off and will shamelessly do it, because you're a goddess why wouldn't he??

જ⁀➴ I think he's still learning the rights and wrongs while dating you so just put his ass in line and he'll immediately straighten up and act right.

જ⁀➴ he's your bitch, you're his girl.

જ⁀➴ he'll let you boss him around as long as youre happy but God forbid someone else tries to boss him around and they gone (to the hospital wing..lol)

જ⁀➴ will happily watch you get ready even if it's just to go on a walk or to grab a few snacks n stuff from the store or wtvr, will gladly help with wtvr if you ask him too.

જ⁀➴ teased you a lot especially if you get flustered easily butttt knows when to stop and to not take it too far.

જ⁀➴ also he tries only doing it in private or if it's just you two somewhere bc he doesn't want someone else thinking they can also tease you, friends or not.

જ⁀➴ hatesss the thought of losing you, definitely has nightmares and needs to either be held by you or hold you, it just depends how bad it is.

જ⁀➴ feeds you so much, he ain't letting his girl go hungry ever, not on his watch. He'll happily give you his food if you're still hungry or felt like you didn't eat enough.

જ⁀➴ ass man.

જ⁀➴ his and your friends are so nauseous whenever they see you two together because y'all are so sickening In love it's gross. (Don't get fooled they think it's cute.)

જ⁀➴ so soft and clingy in the mornings omfg, dude is pouty, a little whiny and his raspy voice telling you not to leave while holding you closer👁️🫦👁️

જ⁀➴ will be so quick with it if he feels like someone is disrespecting you or being rude to you even a little bit and don't get me started on flirting with you, you need to control your guard dog please!!! He will bite his dick off and leave him bloody and bruised for weeks.

જ⁀➴ true story, you scolded him and made sure he wasn't getting into as many fights after or at least not to the point of last time, but he listens to you because he would hate for you to be disappointed or not happy and especially with him.

જ⁀➴ I don't think Mattheo can live with himself knowing he's the reason you're angry, upset, sad, disappointed or literally anything that is happy or a good emotion.

જ⁀➴ opens doors, gives you his clothes, let's you borrow wtvr you need from him, buys you anything you want, gives you your favorite flowers every date night, give you massages, run you nice and relaxing baths, helps with studies, always with you especially in public.

જ⁀➴ no cause actually ever since y'all started dating you haven't been seen with mattheo with you, either behind you, either side of your or like 2-4 inches behind you watching over you carefully. Like he's a great protector!!

જ⁀➴ my boy working overtime to make sure you're safe and he wouldn't have it any other way tbh.

[makismei]

(18+ somewhere randomly near the end bc my pussy took over) it is currently 2:57am and while i was writing an upcoming fic, i suddenly thought of nanami, as your underclassman at jujutsu high... not proofread (possibly incoherent) i am sorry i finished at 5am

he's two years younger than you, but he's been enamoured by you since he spoke to you back when he was sixteen on your eighteenth birthday, hosted at gojo's condo.

almost everyone was drunk, courtesy of shoko managing to get her hands on bottles of tequila and vodka. you were barely tispy, finding a completely sober nanami stuck to a wall with his eyebrows pulled together. he doesn't like it here. he wants to go home. but this is what being a teenager is like... right?

through flashing lights and loud music, you told him that cherishing your youth goes beyond what he's seeing before his eyes.

with you being a third year, he rarely saw you at the school. up close, he realizes how beautiful you are and that your perfume suits you so well.

"being a child is just fine," you say, as if you aren't only two years older. "you have your whole life to experience partying."

you end up outside on the balcony, talking all night about anything and everything.

and nanami learns, at sixteen, what uncontrollably clammy hands feel like, stuttering over simple words and the desperation for more of your presence.

since that night, he looks for you on campus when you are between missions. in the beginning, he couldn't find the courage to start conversation, but slowly, it starts to come to him easy.

over the years, he's seen you introduce your older boyfriends to your friends. he's also seen you get your heartbroken because the men that you chose to love were straight up losers.

what is he to do? clearly, you have a type and it's not him. although, he is confident he can treat you far better.

you like dark hair and tattoos, "manly" looking men but they don't even hold the door for you. what the hell is wrong with you? nanami swears, if he was yours, you'd never look back.

nanami is freshly nineteen, listening to you talk to shoko and utahime about how relationships are no longer worth your time. something inside of him feels disgusting because you're pouring your heart out and god, he just thinks you're so beautiful.

when he confesses to you for the first time, he is twenty-one and it's winter. it's been three years since your last relationship and you haven't pursued another since. he knows it's a long shot, but he goes for it anyways.

you smile, hand on his arm, "you deserve better than me, kento. but thank you, truly. i'm flattered you think of me so highly."

nanami raises a brow, "who doesn't?"

you're halfway into your door, smiling sadly. "you'd be surprised."

six months later, you're in cahoots with a horrible man and nanami thinks he's going to go bald early. why do you do this to yourself????

since his confession, he's tried to be mindful so he doesn't make you uncomfortable. but in the most friendship way possible, he tries to show you there are men (meaning: him, he is best fit for you) that are willingly to love you the way you deserve (him).

you, on the other hand, are biting your nails as far as you can, you cannot be catching feelings for nanami kento? you've never seen him in a romantic light, even after he confessed, but recently there has to be something poisonous in the air.

you blocked that douchebag two days ago because talking to him makes you feel disgusting. but you think you might unblock him to save nanami.

nanami cannot be yours, sure he's younger than you and you swore you would never date a younger man because they're so "immature", but nanami is a good... mature person. he is honest and hardworking, growing into his features and in turn, becoming more handsome as the years go by.

you'd be lying if you weren't jealous thinking about the woman that he would call his one day.

you think it's for the better. nanami cannot get caught up with your antics. he's really only seen the good sides and the thought of him seeing your bad sides makes you nauseous. he'd hate you, for sure. then what would you do?

but it doesn't matter, you don't even like him like that! but he's such a good friend you can't fathom the thought of ruining your friendship.

but what if he gets a girlfriend? you're pacing back and forth in your living room, obviously you can't be close with him anymore because that is just so suspicious.

oh my god. you're spiralling.

what do you do? you call nanami.

you tell him everything and more, that you're sorry, that you might be confused but your gut is telling you otherwise. you cry on the phone to him because you're at a loss and you feel so guilty.

nanami does not say a word or make a sound.

until, you hear a knock on your door through the phone and in real life.

"will you let me see you?" he asks, desperate. "i need to see you."

"you had me waiting for so long." he mutters, hips swinging into yours. he has you in a mating press, forehead pressed against yours. "am i making you feel good, beautiful? tell me."

you nod, legs quivering at his sides. "you're so good—i.. i think i'm gonna cum again!"

he shushes you, kissing you so deeply your mind goes blank. he starts thrusting harder and your mind is so mushy you can't even kiss him back. nanami groans, this can't be real. you feel so good that he might get addicted.

he can't let you go now that he's had a taste. he's not letting you go.

you love him. you told him in a panic over the phone.

you love him.

he needs you wholeheartedly and even though he had to wait almost eight years, he would gladly wait another eight years because if it's not you, it's no one. over the years he's loved you one-sidedly, he did a lot of thinking.

a silly high school crush ended up swallowing him whole. he was searching for you in all the blind dates gojo made him go on because gojo was convinced he was cooked and that you would not like him back.

so to see gojo's jaw dropping when you kissed nanami on the lips in the jujutsu tech courtyard, made his heart swell.

he was always yours.

you think that maybe, you've loved nanami for longer than you've thought.

"thanks for waiting for me." you breathe, "i'll make you happy."

nanami smiles, "you will always make me happy."

[agentjazzy]

The Evil Dead Dashboard Simulator

🧍‍♂️ groovyhousewares Follow

YES I got my girlfriend a pretty pretty necklace from a gumball machine and when she sees it she's going to give me so so many kisses :)

(411 Notes)

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

man, fuck tourists, I was heading to my spot when a car came up and honked at us, all friendly like, so me and buddy waved bc there wasn't anyone else there, but then they YELLED at us???? we were just walking?? wtf did we even DO

#i hope the bridge collapses i hope they all DIE #vent

(4,079 Notes)

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

unethical life pro tip: if you overhear your professor talking about their family cabin that they have, and they have open office hours posted, it's your RIGHT to go check that shit out

they're not gonna be there!! they have papers to grade and other shit to deal with!!! free cabin!!!

🌋 thehillsalsohaveanniceass 📛 Follow

op what are you going to do when you roll up and they're just sitting there

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

lmao his ass is NOT going to be in that cabin 😂 he just got back from a vacation with his family or something (dipshit couldn't wait until break) he's supposed to be at his office and he does NOT have the vacation days to be leaving so soon

(151 Notes)

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

fml my older brother asked if I wanted to tag along on a trip to a cabin and I said sure bc it beats staying at home w/ dad

BUT IT'S A COUPLE TRIP

HE'S BRINGING HIS COWORKER/GIRLFRIEND THAT HE DOESN'T SHUT UP ABOUT, HIS FRIEND IS BRINGING HIS GIRLFRIEND, WHYYYY DID THEY INVITE ME

#if i knew i would've said no 😭 #he didn't even invite his Actual best friend #which SUCKS bc then we could've fooled around when no one was paying attention #huh who said that 😳 #cheryl posting

(4 Notes)

📜 anthroapologist 🦀 Follow

haters will hear you scurrying underneath the bowels of your home and freak out like HELLO where else am I supposed to scurry????

(1,288 Notes)

🔮 shessellingseashells Follow

you ever feel like people Immediately forget your name upon meeting you :(

#i might be too high but i don't think any of these people know my full name #i mean I'm Definitely high #and tried moonshine for the first time #but like. really feeling like an outsider rn

(0 Notes)

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

it's so hard being the only chad amongst nerds, like, I GET IT, you're too much of a pussy to investigate the creepy fucking cellar, the LEAST you can do is let me listen to the tapes I found down there, they're cool as fuck

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

okay and now they're all yelling at me bc a stupid tree broke a window right when the tape got good 😑

🎲 kingofstupidbitches Follow

fuck it, here's a recording of the tape, I hope none of you guys are cowards like all my friends apparently are, have fun bc I can't

(206,089 Notes)

💀 theevilacrosstheland Follow

when someone plays your song you can feel that shit in your SOUL catch me coming towards you at 15mph awoken from my eternal slumber if I hear that first note fr

(6,282 Notes)

🔍 peachycraftsection Follow

my boyfriend spent $14 in quarters attempting to get a magnifying glass necklace from one of those gumball machine toy capsules at work bc he knows I LOVE mysteries and detective stories and I need to [redacted] him in the [redacted] right NOW 💖💖💖

(432 Notes)

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

everyone's making out rn which is REAL inconvenient bc there is Absolutely Something Outside

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

should I check it out

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

there's no one online to tell me no so.....

📝 charcoalfingertips Follow

op you haven't posted in an hour are you okay???

🌹 pressedflowerpetals Follow

I'm Irrevocably Changed Now 👍

(104 Notes)

🌹 deadite420 Follow

I'm just a silly goofy guy if I happened to have killed and maimed and bite and stab that's just who I am and how I show love ^_^

(5,724 Notes)

🔮 deadite68 Follow

coyotes are SO right, if youre trapped somewhere or someone grabs ya, just bite your limb off, no hesitation, show superiority, it's not like THEY'RE gonna do it

(2,051 Notes)

🧍‍♂️ groovyhousewares Follow

whhy is there so muchh blood everywhere........

#help #i accidentally kept my mouthh open and blood got in it :((((( #my head hurts sso bad bookcases kept falling on me

(5 Notes)

🔩 deadite883 Follow

heehee i love crawling through pipes and electrical outlets

(207 Notes)

🎶 8tracksarebetterthancassettes Follow

I logged onto Tumblr and wtf why am I following so many people with deadite in their username? is it a reference? did I miss a meme? are we mishapocolypse-ing again?

🌿 dirtissoyummy Follow

I think it might be a virus transmitted by bots but idk I'm too scared to interact

🤡 thespareshemp Follow

okay I investigated to see if it was a bot swarm or people having fun SO

for the first cluster of blogs, all their IPs are logging from the same location, which usually means a lazy bot swarm BUT I went through all their archives and most of them, before changing urls, interacted with one another naturally and stuff, @-ing one another and junk, and they seem to know each other irl

so it's just friends having fun!! and then people joining in on the fun!! feel free to reblog without fear!

#they're all still posting original content so that's kinda a giveaway #even though it's all 'deadite'fied and all #i wonder if theyre doing an arg thing

(1,004 Notes)

🔍 deadite81 Follow

when men are SOAKED with blood 👌😍🥰😘💖🥰🥰💖😍👌😘😘😘💖💖😍

(20,983 Notes)

🤡 deadite6091 Follow

JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOHN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US JOIN US

🛏 honkshoomimi Follow

🤡 deadite6091 Follow

You Will Be Dead By Dawn

(5,732 Notes)

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

man, fuck tourists, I was heading to my spot when a car came up and honked at us, all friendly like, so me and buddy waved bc there wasn't anyone else there, but then they YELLED at us???? we were just walking?? wtf did we even DO

🥐 evilpillsburydoughboy Follow

hey you live near the state line right? can you check the news real quick

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

uhhhhhhhhh

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE BRIDGE IS GONE

🐟 fishwantmemenwanttokillme Follow

fml if any of you need me i'm going to lay down in the cold and let the forest take me

(4,079 Notes)

🛏 deadite7390 Follow

if you were to break me down to my pure essence you would be left with pure, unfiltered evil

also grits

mmmmmm grits

(2,561 Notes)

🎥 deadite3023 Follow

falling down the stairs is the most efficient way to go down them :)

(941 Notes)

🎲 deadite69 Follow

y'all ever open the window and AUGH OUGH UGH UGH UGH AAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAA THE AGONIES and then you adjust to the sunlight and you're fine

(8,091 Notes)

🧍‍♂️ groovyhousewares Follow

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA FOR THE LOVE OF GOD SOMEONE HELP ME

(3 Notes)

[braxlrose]

Hello! I really like your writing and I was wondering if I could request a bill x reader? It's where reader had a very rough childhood, with parents and stuff so they dont have a really good picture of love and gets confused about little nice things Bill does for them, like comforting and just being a good boyfriend, and can sometimes be like emotionally unavailable? But they really try with Bill and, yeah! Lmao, you don't have to do this and feel free to ignore!

omggg you're literally one of my favorite writers and I love this request because I really like writing angst bc there's so much emotion so ty <3

Also this is not proof read

cw: mentions of abuse (physical and verbal), angst, tell me if I missed anything pls!

Growing up was hard for you. Your father was barely ever around and when he was, he was completely hammered. You tried to stay away from him when he was like that, but it was hard considering you lived in the same house and he was always getting fired from jobs. Whenever you angered him, he'd take off his belt and beat you until you were sobbing. Then would pass out on the couch and act like nothing was wrong when he woke up.

On the other hand, your mother just never seemed to be happy with you. Always nit-picking on everything you did, the way you looked, the way you did your hair, your style, the way you talked, you were either too skinny or too fat; you just couldn't do anything right in her eyes.

You always tried your best to make them happy, just having the smallest glimmer of hope that they'd be proud of you for something. All your hard work at school or everything you did for your community. All the diets you went on for your mother. Cleaning up after your father. There was just nothing you could do.

You didn't understand why they were like this. Why did they have a child in the first place if all you did was "ruin their lives". You didn't understand love at all. Your mother said that she only does this because she cares about you, but if she cared wouldn't she want you to be yourself? No, of course not. You're either like her, or nothing. And that was that.

***

Then you moved to Magdeburg, Germany. Your mother was sick of her old apartment and your father was banned from all the alcohol stores in your town, so you had to move. Again. This wasn't the first time. You've moved 4 times in the past year because of your parents, you haven't lived anywhere long enough to make any friends.

You had moved into a small village and your mother was making you go over to the neighbour's for dinner. Your father was passed out somewhere so it was just you and her. She put your hair in a high ponytail and added "cute little pink bows". She always pulled too hard on your hair when she did it. You weren't allowed to leave the house unless you put on the pink, frilly dress she got you. You had to be "perfect" and "lady-like" or else no one would like you.

You slipped on your shoes and got pushed out the door by your mother. She had also plastered your face in makeup. Mascara, eyeshadow, lipgloss, all of that. You were fifteen years old for God sakes, why did she care so much?!

"You better not make me look bad in front of our new neighbour's, got it? I don't need your running your mouth like always." You nodded your head as she smacked the back of it, making you flinch before knocking on the door. You heard footsteps coming quickly to the door before a blonde woman opened up. A smile crept onto her face as she saw us.

(Its changing from third person to first person now!)

"Oh come in! Come in!" She said to us with a big smile on her face, ushering us in. My mother pushed me into the house, with a smile. The woman in front of us leaned down and waved, "Hi! You must be y/n! It's so nice to meet you!" I froze. What was I supposed to say? What if she got mad at my tone? What if I said something wrong? What if- I looked up as my mother nudged me on the arm, glaring into my eyes. don't be rude. she didn't even have to say anything for me to understand.

"Nice to meet you too!" I said to her, trying to smile but it just ended looking uncomfortable and awkward. She stood back up to her normal height and turned around, waving us towards the living room.

"Boys! Come down here to meet our new neighbours!" The woman shouted up the stairs as me and my mother sat down on the couch. She swatted my arm again.

"Stand up straight. Your going to make me look like a bad mother!" She whispered to me, giving me that icy cold glare she can never seem to get rid of whenever she looks at me.

Just then, two boys came stumbling down the stairs. They were obviously twins but looked very different from eachother. I turned my body back around when I heard then coming into the living room. I straightened out my back and looked at them with wide eyes.

"Woah, a girl." The mophead whispered. Tch, mophead. That's what he looked like. His dreads were all over the place.

"This is Mrs. y/l/n and y/n. They moved here today. Why don't you boys show y/n around the house?" They both nodded and smiled at me. This is where it all began. My friendship with Tom and Bill Kaulitz. It's been about 4 months since then and we all became good friends really quickly.

***

Me and Bill were walking through the park while tom was out doing God-knows-what. It was December already, so it had gotten really cold. We walked on some trails before Bill stopped us.

"What are you doing?" I asked, as he bent down on his feet.

"Tying your boots. You're gonna trip on them." My eyes widened as he leaned down. I'm just a fucking idiot I didn't even notice my shoelaces were untied. Who the fuck doesn't know that? Why didn't I realize? Am I actually that stupid? I could hear my mother's voice pounding in my head.

"Oh no! You don't have to do that, it's fine really! I'm just stupid, it's f-" he covered my mouth as he got it.

"Relax, I'm already done and I don't mind. Wouldn't want my favorite neighbour to fall face first into snow." He laughed and kept walking. Why'd he do that? He should've just told me to do it on my own, right? I don't need anybody to do anything for me. He should've just left it alone! What the fuck is wrong with hi-

"Hey are you thirsty?" What? What was he saying? I looked over at him when he stopped. We were back in town now, I hadn't even noticed.

"Hello?" He waved his hand in front of my face.

"Uhm..what?" I asked with a blank expression on my face. What was he saying? Why was he even asking me instead of just telling me? Isn't that easier?

"I said are you thirsty? There's a place just down the road that sells the best hot chocolate, you'll love it!" He said, grabbing my hand to bring me down the road. He wanted to get me hot chocolate?

"I don't have any money, Bill." He looked back at me and laughed.

"I'm buying, dummy. Why would I offer you something and then make you buy it? I'm not that awful." He joked, keeping my hand firmly in his. What. He wants to buy me something?

"You don't need to do that bill. I don't want to be a burden-" I sputtered out, not wanting him to do something he'd regret before he interrupted me.

"Burden?! You?" He stopped walking again and pulled me closer. Our faces were only a couple inches apart now and my hands were in his. "Y/n, you're my girlfriend. If I wanna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate I'm gonna buy my girlfriend a hot chocolate, 'kay?" I was stunned. I don't understand why he's like this. He's too nice, people are gonna take advantage of that. Nevertheless, I nodded and walked down to where they were selling hot chocolate. Bill made sure to put extra marshmallows on mine. Why was he treating me like this?

We arrived back at his house and he pulled me down onto his bed with him.

"Jesus christ! Your hands are freezing, why didn't you say something." My hands? I guess they're cold. I hadn't noticed. Maybe they had gone numb half way through and that's why. Why did Bill care, they'd warm back up with time.

"It's no big deal Bill, I'll survive.." his eyes went wide like I had two heads.

"Are you insane?! No way!" He grabbed my hands and pulled me closer to him. He rubbed his hands onto mine and wrapped mine tightly in his. "Can't have your fingers falling off. I need someone's hand to hold." I smiled at me and wrapped the blanket around me. I laid my head down on his pillow and closed my eyes. My life wasn't supposed to be like this. I wasn't supposed to have a perfect boyfriend who gets me hot chocolate or warms up my hands for me. I don't deserve this. You don't deserve this. She was back again. She's always there. My mother sitting in the back of my head like there's a throne waiting there for her. Why were her words stuck in me like glue. I'm sick of her constantly belittling me like I'm nothing. But I am. I am nothing. Nothing at all. Just a useless soul that needed to fill an empty body and nothing mor-

"Y/n! Wake up! Are you okay?" Huh..? What was happening? I turned my head and looked outside. It was pitch black out. Had I fallen asleep? I turned back to bill and he looked like he was on the verge of tears. He had shaken me awake from my slumber. "Are. You. Okay?" He asked again, "you were mumbling and crying in your sleep. Did you have a bad dream?" I was crying? My finger tips reached up towards my cheeks. They were wet. I guess I was crying.

"I'm fine, bill. It was nothing." I mumbled and laid back down. His mouth was slightly agape as he crawled closer to me and engulfed me into a hug. He laid kisses all over my face. Why? Why does he care?

"You're not fine, and it's okay to be not fine! Just tell me what's wrong and let me help you!" He said to me as both of his hands caressed my cheeks. Help..me? Like I'm some charity case that needs fixing? I didn't need to be fixed. Yeah maybe I'm not perfect to my mother and maybe I have some fucked up issues but I don't need to be fixed. What the fuck was his problem?! Doesn't he understand I'm perfectly fucking fine!

"I said, I'm fine!" I shouted at him, shoving bill away from me and pushing myself off the bed. I'm perfectly fine and I don't need him telling me what's wrong with me. His head hit the wall by his bed and I could hear a crack. I broke his wall. I don't care. That's his fault. He should've backed off.

I heard him calling out my name along with a couple cries in between. I pulled on my shoes and stormed out the door. I don't need him or anybody or anything! I don't need him treating me like I'm some child who can't control her emotions!

That was 2 weeks ago. I hadn't spoken or even looked at him in two weeks. What was wrong with me? I hurt the only boy who's ever loved me. He probably hates me now. I'm the worst girlfriend in the entire world. Im the stupidest person. You're the most dumb, ugly, disgusting daughter who has ever been seen on this earth.

she's back.

I'm fucked up in the head and I don't know how to fix it. I want to blame my mother and father but it's not their fault, right? They care about me. It's my fault I'm like this. I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I have no one to blame but myself...right?

I was stuck sitting down in a chair while my mother poured goopy foundation onto my skin. We had to go to some classy town thing and I had to actually "look like a girl".

"Maybe if you were naturally beautiful I wouldn't have to waste my time doing this."

"Sorry mama..it's not my fault though..." She glared down at me and smacked the back of my head.

"You're lucky you have foundation on or I would've smacked the shit out of this disgusting face." She gritted between her teeth. Her words were like an awful, greasy poison dripping from her tongue. I hadn't done anything and some how I had made her mad again.

She shoved me into a long, cream colored dress and turned on the ignition. I leaned my head against the side of the door as we drove. Why couldn't I just be the normal, beautiful daughter my mother wanted? If there was a God, he had some serious explaining to do.

"Stop slouching! You think I want a daughter with bad posture?! My god! Can't you do anything right?" The speech. I've heard it a million times since I learned how to talk. How I can't do anything right and I'm just some failure who should've been aborted fifteen years ago. How I ruined my mother's life and how she was going to be a star if it wasn't for me.

It was a long car ride but we finally got there. And the event was even worse. There were so many people and the music was way to loud. I felt like crying. My hands were shaking and I couldn't stop picking at my nails. Women kept coming up and taking to me with their children. Friends of my mothers. I could guess by their judging stares. I looked lady-like and had good posture and was smiling. Why was I being judged, what am I doing wrong again? Why can't I just be normal? A normal girl who doesn't fuck everything up. Doesn't make her parents hate her. Doesn't ruin her parents lives. Doesn't make people feel awkward. Doesn't hurt their boyfriends.

And that was my breaking point. Tears flooded down my cheeks and everybody was staring at me. I stumbled away into another room and sobbed on the floor. I couldn't breathe. My hands hurt from picking at my nails and my face hurt and my body hurt and my eyes were burning and my makeup was surely ruined.

Everything is. I always ruin everything. What the fuck is wrong with me?! The one person who truly cared about me...i..I haven't- I hiccups against the wall and bawled my eyes out. The one person who truly, actually cared about me...I haven't talked to him in two weeks. Then I caught my breath. I stood up and wobbled to the nearest window. I pulled myself out of it and stumbled outside. My whole body hurt so I probably ooked crazy. I could feel mascara was running down my cheeks as I walked through the town.

My arms were freezing cold and I still felt like everybody was watching me. Their beady and judgy eyes staring me down like I was about to go crazy. Well, I guess technically they were right. I just started sobbing in front of everybody so I probably did look insane. You looked insane! What the fuck is wrong with you?! Can't you just act like a girl for once!? That's what my mother said me to in the 3rd grade after a play we did..

I finally got back to my house and looked up to the neighbour's house. Bills house. The light was on in his bedroom. He was awake. I turned back to my door and took a deep breath. I had to say something to him. Right? I had to make him believe I wasn't some crazy person who would push everybody away. Maybe that's what I was though..

I knocked on the door but nobody answered, so I stepped into their house. It was completely dark as I stumbled up the stairs to bills room. I looked at all the happy family pictures they had. God they were so lucky. So lucky to have a perfect family. A father and mother who love them. Having a twin must be great, it's like having a bestfriend for life, right?

As I stepped up the stairs I heard the door open. Bill must've heard me coming up. When he slowly looked around the corner I saw his eyes widen at my awful state. I guess I should've cleaned myself up first, I look a mess. My dress was torn from crawling out the window and my makeup was obviously smeared. I bet my hair wasn't too pretty either.

"Holy shit, y/n?!" He came down the stairs quickly and grabbed my arms, helping me up the stairs, "what happened?! You look...awful."

He sat me down on his bed and I didn't know what to say. I just stared at him. This perfect guy who loves me. I tried to open my mouth and say something but nothing came out. I guess he could tell I wasn't sure what to say because he went to the bathroom and grabbed some wipes.

"Here.." he kneeled down and began to wipe my makeup off. Tears slipped past my waterline as he comforted me. He just sat there looking up at me with a pity smile on his face as he cleaned me up. He took of my hands in his other hand and held it. He really was perfect. He saw him grab some lotion off his desk and rub it around my face after he wiped everything off.

"Come on, why don't we get you into some comfortable clothes okay?" I nodded at him and toyed with my fingers as he picked out some clothes.

I was laying in his arms now. His fingers were combing though my hair as I laid on his chest. I wasn't sure why he was doing this. Any sane person would've just kicked me out, right? I held onto bill tighter whenever he kissed my head and my cheeks. I cuddled up closer to him and nuzzled into his neck.

"I love you, y/n.." bill whispered as I dosed off into my sleep, breathing in his comforting scent and letting tears fall on his skin because he was the only person who was able to make me feel at home.

OKAY THIS TOOK ME LIKE 2 HOURS AND IT ALMOST GOT DELETED BUT THANK GOD IT DIDNT, I HOPE YOU ENJOYED THIS!!

the end felt kinda rushed but I hope it was still good

taglist: @hearts4kaulitz @burntb4bydoll @spelaelamela @bored0writer @fishinaband @billsleftnutt @dead-tapes @tokiiohot @bluepoptartwithsprinkles @saumspam

[imraespace]

HOW TO WIN HER HEART!

MAKI X FEM!READER

BIRTHDAY SPECIAL!

──────────────

Here are some special steps you took to Maki Zenin's heart!

You, a normal human being who suddenly discovered you had a big fat crush on a certain girl named Maki Zenin.

So you decided to make it you main goal to win her heart!

But how?

.

.

"YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SOONER BECAUSE..??"

-> 8:30 PM, FRIDAY.

You told your bestest friend ever, Nobara!

And currently she's gripping on your shoulders, shaking the life out of you.

"I only figured it out like this morning.." You told your friend, removing her hands off your shoulders.

You lied, kinda. You always knew you had a thing for her but you only found out today that it's indeed a crush. Like this morning when she walked in the room and you began your daily staring, not like a creep, but you always looked at her when she enters the room but that morning your heart flipped!

So here you are, in Nobara's room gossiping about your new found feelings.

"Obviously you have to confess soon."

"What. Why?"

"BECAUSE?? IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT."

She pulled you in closer then said:

"Starting tomorrow we're planning your confession."

And that's how operation: "WIN HER HEART" began.

──────────────

-> 10:01 AM, SATURDAY.

"WINNING HER HEART"

nobara: hi everyone!

megumi: what is this.

nobara: WE'RE HELPING Y/N

megumi: why

nobara: bc she's my favorite duh

yuji: what abt me ☹️

nobara: anyways WE ARW HELPING Y/N TO CONFESS TO MAKI!!

megumi: no

yuji: YES

megumi: fuck.

nobara added y/n

y/n: ooh you was fr

nobara: OFC I WAS.

──────────────

-> 01:20 PM, SATURDAY.

Still in Nobara's room, she left the room to get some snacks.

Apparently she said she's bringing over some friends because she's taking this a bit too serious but to be honest you really don't mind, you just haven't seen someone do all of this for a crush. Atleast your friend cares!

Suddenly you heard more than one footsteps walking up towards the door, it opened and you was greeted with not only her normal friends but Maki friends?

"I brought more help!" She exclaimed.

Time flew but one thing stayed still, a solid plan for winning her heart starting on Monday.

──────────────

-> 8:30AM, MONDAY.

────────

STEP 1- INUMAKI'S PLAN:

His plan is simple. He's gonna ask Maki about you and hint to her! Seems okay enough.

──────────────

Inumaki, along with Yuuta, shares the same class with Maki.

Sadly he sits right next to her. Isn't that great!?

Normally she knows he's always up to know good but this time it's reeking off him and she noticed ever since he entered the room.

"Did you bathe today?" She asked the boy.

Obviously, he was offended, even sniffed himself but noticed he smelled normal, not even close to bad.

"OF COURSE I DID.. Anyways I have a question." He said, sliding himself on her desk.

She looked up at him with an unimpressed look on her face yet nodded her head, signing him to continue talking.

"There's this girl right..." He started.

She rolled her eyes after that sentence.

"If you have a crush, go gossip to your boyfriend."

"WHAT?"

Yuuta saw it all and laughed at the situation.

"AND GET OFF MY TABLE!"

"I DIDN'T ASK YOU MY QUESTION AS YET!"

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR CRUSH."

──────────────

-> 11:29AM, MONDAY.

"WINNING HER HEART"

inumaki: bye I failed💀

nobara: HOW TF DO YOU FAIL BY ASKING HER ABT Y/N??

yuuta: she thought he had a crush

megumi: LMAO

inumaki: ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY?

inumaki: LITERALLY TRIED MY BEST.

────────

FAILED

──────────────

STEP 1- INUMAKI'S PLAN

STEP 2- NOBARA'S PLAN:

Simple! Trying the old fashioned way! Write a note and place it in her locker, surely she will meet up with you.

────────

-> 12:00PM, MONDAY.

Everyone gathered around your table, here you are, stupidly writing some cringe love letter yet blushing as you write every words, pouring your heart into it and finally ending it.

You folded it, looked up at the others and finally getting the green sign to go, but something kinds felt off about this...

Nevertheless! You all sprinted to her locker, "trying" to sneak but looked like a bunch of idiots, so you shrugged your shoulders, walked up, then placed it in.. Then ran away with the others.

A little while after, you all stood by the corner, peaking your heads out to see what she will do.

First she got whatever she needed, then noticed the very obvious note.

She looked around at first, looking back at the note then finally opening it up.

She read it and a million emotions was on her face, confusion, a hint of blush but actually mostly confusion.

Then you remembered:

"I forgot to tell her where to meet me at.."

You mumbled.

At the end of the note you had

"Hope to see you there!"

But no location..

"WHAT IF I EAT YOUR HEAD OFF Y/N"─

────────

FAILED(?)

──────────────

STEP 1- INUMAKI'S PLAN

STEP 2- NOBARA'S PLAN

STEP 3- YUJI'S PLAN:

Let's try giving her a gift! Maybe a snack. It shouldn't go so bad.

──────────────

-> 12:16 PM, MONDAY.

────────

You made your way towards the vending machine, slightly losing hope in this "operation" but got the snacks.

You got your favorite snacks actually.

Along with some drinks, and placed it in a bag, tied it and made your way towards her classroom to place it on her desk.

As you entered, luckily, she wasn't at her desk but a few students were still in here.

You ignored them.. But they didn't ignore you.

You placed her snacks on her desk, left a sticky note and left the classroom!

But where is Maki?

Roaming the school. With the note in her hand.

"What did they mean by, hope to see you there.." She mumbled as she's walking around the school, looking for atleast some hope.

RING! RING!

"Stupid ass bell.."

────────

SUCCESS!

──────────────

-> 1:09PM, MONDAY.

Maki made it back to class a while back but still she continued to stare at the bag of snacks someone left for her on her desk.

First a note now gifts?

Her eyes made it back to the note, then to the sticky note and noticed something.

The handwriting matches!

Her eyes lit up when she noticed that the same person she was looking for, was in her classroom.

Then if they entered the classroom.. atleast someone here saw them.

.

.

The teacher haven't arrived just as yet, so Maki took it as her chance to speak up.

"Did anyone saw who placed this on my desk?" She asked.

Mostly everyone shrugged their shoulders, looking around for answers but someone spoke up.

"I did! It was a girl!"

Once Maki's ears heard it, she turned to Inumaki.

"What were you telling me about this girl."

──────────────

-> 3:00PM, MONDAY.

STATUS:

INUMAKI'S PLAN- FAILED SUCESS.

NOBARA'S PLAN- FAILED(?) SUCESS.

YUJI'S PLAN- SUCESS.

────────

You, a normal human being with totally normal friends, normal feelings, suddenly felt a wave of nerves when you saw your crush speed walking behind you.

You didn't know if you should stop or speed up.

You had no choice either way when she shouted your name.

So you stopped.

And she did.

"Y/N did you do all of this..?" She asked.

You turned around, facing your fears!

Shyly, you nodded at her question then looked up at her.

She was closer this time, handing you a snacks from the snack bag you gave her.

"So, do you want to go on a date? Take this snack if yes."

You.. took the snack.

.

.

HOW TO WIN HER HEART!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MAKI!

[mae-i-scribble]

My post on How I Attended and All Guys Mixer picked up a few more notes than I was expecting recently and it reminded me that I've been wanting to talk about how appreciative I am about how the series handles sexuality. I'll only be talking about the manga here bc I haven't seen the live action drama nor do I plan to. But I just think it's really neat that with our 3 male protags we get to see 3 very unique reactions to 1) learning that crossdressing is a thing and 2) how they in turn feel attraction wise.

I'll start off with Asagi as I feel his is the most straightforward in that he just takes everything in stride. Literally nothing phases him. Thanks to that he's the most nonchalant of the group, just chatting up and trying to make friends per usual. He's confused somewhat, but doesn't pay it any mind and just tries to get to know everyone as he would any other new friend. Personally, I can really see an aro/ace argument for Asagi due to the way he's just, completely unaffected and uninterested in the romantic ongoings around him. He compliments the girls and such but even when the manga is going pretty hard pushing its other pairings Asagi and Fuji truly just seem like good friends. I'm not delusional, this is a romance manga that from the get-go clearly has these pairings in mind to all get together romantically, but until it happens I can gaslight myself into believing my aroace truth (is coping so bad).

Going from most chill about everything to 2nd most chill we have Tokiwa. Tokiwa is an interesting case in that he's polite to such a degree that he does his best to mask his initial confusion and shock (to the extent that yknow, a comedy manga will allow). Though it doesn't really work because he is very overwhelmed by the situation at hand. However, I don't think this is attributed to the girls' crossdressing alone in the same way that Hagi can't get over his initial shock of the concept. Tokiwa's chief concern isn't the "weirdness" of it all but the fact that he came here expecting a meet cute with a cute girl and instead is getting a meet cute with someone equally as charming but with none of the reserved attitude we see Suo have while she's fem-presenting. My boy is not worried about gender norms he is worried for his sanity due to the attractive person flirting with him.

Honestly, this panel here implies that he finds masc-presenting Suo even more attractive. The fact that he even tries to reassure himself that because Suo is a woman this situation is less flustering is very interesting. Not that it does anything. Pouring one out for Tokiwa for real. As the manga goes on, Tokiwa gives off the vibe of someone who is comfortable with his sexuality enough that the gender presentation of the person he likes is irrelevant, both are attractive to him in different ways. Again, while Suo's crossdressing is a point of interest in the sense that it's not something he understands or gets intuitively, he doesn't have nearly the same level of crisis as Hagi does. His attraction to Suo is never questioned- rather it seems to be a question of whether or not he thinks Suo is genuine in her flirting.

And our last boy is Hagi, poor beloved Hagi who is having the time of his life trying to figure out that hey, sometimes people don't dress or present stereotypically. It's a rough life for you Hagi. However, his inner conflict is very gripping. I find his reaction and subsequent coming to terms with the idea of crossdressing a very realistic take on the subject much more akin to your average person being introduced to everything for the first time. It never feels mean spirited even if Hagi can be offensive in this thoughts and comments at first- it's born from a place of genuine confusion, both towards himself and towards the girls. Hagi falling in love with Kohaku, while a little to rife with misunderstandings for my taste, I think is a wonderful narrative of how even being straight doesn't mean that there is one way to feel attraction. While Kohaku throws around the idea of him being bi due to him being attracted to Kohaku while she's masc-presenting, Suo best sums it up when she says that it's not about the words or the looks, its about who it's coming from. And given that we haven't seen Hagi struggle with this from anyone else, it's a safe bet to say he likes Kohaku as masc-presenting, not necessarily masc-presenting people or men in general. Attraction as a fluid concept is something most straight romance stories, let alone a comedy based one, seldom bother to explore along the gender spectrum. Hagi's struggle to understand himself and what his attraction to Kohaku means to him personally is such an interesting take that it elevates the entire storyline out of miscommunication hell almost (just almost).

Idk idk this feels like a very silly rant to have but I do in fact love this manga more than a reasonable amount and this is definitely one of the top reasons for it. I would love for it to get a bit more attention but I shall settle for rereading it for the 20th time I suppose

[rabbitsrams]

having a tough time and thinking about schlatt with a perpetually lonely reader

he’d be so sweet always inviting you out with him and his friends, just spending so much time with you if you’ve had a hard week. bringing you home your favorite food and all his love

i need a big guy hug i need to be squeezed to death stella

aww scout this is a sweet idea :( also relatable bc that's my life in college :( i hope it gets better for u soon ilysm 🫂🫂🫂

yes schlatt is 100% that welcoming friend. like you two met in a class or something and he knows you don't have many friends at school so he makes it his goal to try and include you in everything.

it starts off simple. he invites you to eat lunch with him after class, which takes you by surprise since you usually eat alone and he always eats with his friends. but he insists you join him.

meeting his friends is a little awkward at first, but they're very welcoming especially since schlatt has talked you up so much to them (!!!!!!).

and it's nice!! you get along with them very well :)) mostly just vibing

but after it's all done, you think it's the last time. you know these things are usually one-time, they're not actually your real friends, they were just being friendly.

but you're surprised when schlatt texts you that weekend. he's at your building, asking if you want to hang out. you're confused but you accept, cause you weren't doing anything anyway.

and you have just as much as a good time, if not even better. it's a lot more chill at his dorm, not worrying about others being loud in the dining hall and being able to relax. you were never invited back to someone's dorm before and it was a nice feeling.

schlatt becoming a consistent guest at your dorm (you're so thankful that your roommate is often gone) and you guys study together, hang out, talk, etc.

meets you outside your classrooms after class and walks with you to get food <3

also takes you out to his favorite sports off-campus to eat <333 and insists on paying <333333

you often lament to him about your difficulty to make friends. its not like you haven't tried, because you have. it kind of boils down to people not being genuine, you not getting a connection with them despite trying to.

and he reassures you that you don't need to have 1,000 fake friends to be happy in college. these people probably won't matter after graduation.

"hey, if makes you feel better, 'least you've got me."

that makes you cry. you hug him tight and he returns it with equal fervor, squeezing you and never wanting to let go. you mean so much to him, you're such a genuine person and probably the best friend he's ever made at that school.

and possibly wanting to become more than friends 😉

[tss-whumper]

I keep thinking about touch-starved whumpee Roman and caretaker Logan. Roman knows Logan doesn't like touch much, but then Logan hugs him after realizing Roman's touch-starved, and...Roman kinda breaks. Logan is steady and precise, and Roman is so so cold and confused and never wants to leave.

Anyway, no pressure to write this! (/gen)

I love how you write Patton & Roman bc it feels accurate to me, lol. Haven't been here in a while, but wanted to see how you were doing. Glad I returned to read some of your awesome fics!

Take care :D (/pos)

aww, thank you so much for all the kind words, anon!! i really appreciate the support. this idea looks amazing, and i'd love to write something with it. i hope this is what you were looking for!

---

Roman was cold.

He wasn't quite sure why. This had been happening for a few weeks now, Roman woke up and was cold. He ate breakfast and was cold. He even was cold while taking his hour-long hot showers. No matter what he did, he always felt like he was freezing from the inside out. It had only just recently gotten to the point where he was shivering every moment of the day, his teeth chattering whenever he was not talking.

And that was why Roman was where he was now: wrapped in a blanket, on the couch, in front of the fireplace. While all of the other sides were wearing tank tops and shorts, Roman was secretly wearing pajama pants underneath a second pair of pajama pants.

Roman was focusing on keeping warm, but the sound of arguing started to emerge from the hallway into the living room, causing the creative side to carefully listen in, as he tended to do.

"Patton, I don't want a hug. Get off me."

Logan was clearly losing his patience with the overly-affectionate side, and Roman watched from the couch as Logan's muscles tensed and his breathing grew more labored. It was not a secret that the logical side generally disliked physical touch, especially when he was not the one initiating it. The only thing he hated more than physical touch was not being listened to.

"Oh, Logan, stop being such a sourpuss!" Patton chided, "I'm just showin' my favorite logical guy some love! Hug me back, and then I'll let you go!"

Logan rolled his eyes, and they flashed with irritation as he reluctantly hugged Patton back. The paternal side squealed and let go of Logan, skipping out of the room to likely do the same surprise bear hug to Virgil that he had subjected Logan to.

Roman huffed softly from his spot on the couch. Once again, Patton hadn't even noticed that he was in the room. Recently, it had been like that more and more. Patton gave all his attention to all the other sides, but when Roman was around, he awkwardly shuffled away. Roman had tried to make amends from what happened in the past few episodes, going so far as to try and protect Patton from Janus, but it never seemed to be enough for him.

But that wasn't the important thing right now. Roman shivered, a bit cold in the room as he stood up and approached Logan.

"Hey, pocket watch, wanna watch musicals with special effects and try to figure out how they do them?" he offered.

Logan offered a small, tired smile.

"Sure, Roman," he said, "That would be lovely."

Together, the two sides went to Roman's room. Though most of the fans saw the clear animosity between Roman and Logan, the two were rather good friends off-camera. When there was nothing at stake for Thomas, they found good company in each other. Logan helped Roman listen to reason when he was being overly idealistic, and Roman helped Logan find hope and inspiration where there seemed to be none at all.

And best of all, they both loved to watch musicals with special effects and try to figure out how they were done. They giggled and kicked their feet and shouted like children when they guessed correctly.

Something about being with Logan made Roman feel as if he could be himself for a change. He didn't have to put on a performance that he was some grand, indestructible prince, simply because there was no point. Logan could always see right through Roman's acts. Logan knew that Roman was not really a prince, that he really was very sensitive. And though that was scary sometimes, it was usually refreshing, not needing to pretend. Especially because it was obvious that Logan knew how it felt to be put on that sort of stifling pedestal.

Roman was the only person who Logan felt safe to be himself around too, though not for the same reason. Logan struggled to be taken seriously by the other sides, often seen as a joke. Though Roman teased Logan, it was clear that Roman did not view Logan as lesser-than or pathetic. Roman listened to and respected Logan's wishes, especially off camera. He made Logan feel...listened to. And almost appreciated at times? It was something Logan was generally unfamiliar with. But with Roman, it tended to be abundant.

"Roman? What's going on?"

Roman blinked, and looked over at Logan. He clutched his blankets closer to himself as he felt a terrible chill come over him.

"N- no- nothing," Roman stammered between his chattering teeth, "I'm just cold is all."

"Cold?" Logan asked sharply, extremely concerned, "It's eighty degrees in here, and you have two blankets on. I'm surprised you aren't overheating."

Roman was not expecting that level of worry from Logan, who was usually so level-headed.

"Um...I dunno," Roman shrugged, "I'm just cold. I don't know what to tell you. It's been like this for a few weeks now. I figured my room just had a draft or something."

Logan felt Roman's forehead. Roman shivered, subconsciously leaning into Logan's gentle and warming touch. Logan's fingers delicately brushed the hair away from Roman's forehead.

"You don't feel feverish or unwell," the logical side mused, "You don't seem to be sick at all. But I can't think of any other reason why you might feel like...this."

Logan paused when he saw how Roman reacted to his touch.

"You're so warm," Roman murmured, an almost delirious smile on his face, "I've never felt anything warmer, not in all my life."

Logan did not think he was particularly toasty. He frowned a bit, and put his other hand on Roman's shoulder. When the creative side practically keened into the touch, Logan realized what the problem was, the pieces of the puzzle coming together in his head in one immediate snap.

"It's touch," he realized, "Roman, when was the last time somebody touched you?"

"Three weeks ago," Roman said, as if he had the time and place memorized, "When Patton petted my head after I did the dishes."

"So you've gone three weeks without being touched..." Logan mused, "And you're cold. And the moment I touch you, you're warm."

Logan decided to try something else. But when he leaned in to hug Roman, the creative side quickly pulled away.

"Logan- please, you don't have to do that," Roman said quickly, "Patton said I need to work on my selfishness and pushiness. I- I don't want you to hug me if you don't want to. I know you don't like touch. I'll be fine. It's just a little cold."

"Roman."

Logan's voice was so sharp that Roman looked up from his rambling in surprise. Sure, he was used to Logan sounding stern, but this was more than that. His violet-blue eyes blazed with an intensity that Roman rarely saw from his friend. Logan was considerably vexed.

"I mean-"

"Roman."

"I didn't mean to-"

"Roman."

"But I just wanted to-"

"Roman!"

Roman ceased.

"I understand what you intended," Logan said, with an awkward chuckle, and warmth seeped into his tone, making him sound almost friendly. "And I know I've expressed that I'm not particularly fond of physical affection. But this is different. You need me, and...honestly, it's not the touch that I dislike. It's the suddenness of being touched without permission. When Patton surprise hugs me, it...makes me nervous. When Remus elbows me out of nowhere, or when Virgil ruffles my hair, it just unnerves me. I like hugging my friends, Roman. I like it when I get to decide when it starts and ends. Does that make any sense?"

Roman couldn't hide the bright grin that formed on his face.

"It makes sense," he reassured, but a shiver ran through his body, causing him to let out a whimper as he hugged himself in an attempt to preserve body heat.

He rushed to put the blankets around himself again, but Logan stopped him gently. And then, he pulled Roman into the softest, gentlest, warmest hug that Roman had ever experienced. The prince's doe-like brown eyes went round as saucers. And then, he hugged Logan back, with the same gentle strength that Logan exhibited.

And they hugged for a good, long time. Until Roman stopped shivering. Then, Logan got to initiate exactly when it was time to pull back. The two sides looked into each others eyes for a long time. And Logan did not for a moment expect to see tears shining in Roman's.

"Roman...what's the matter?" Logan asked, quickly bringing a hand to Roman's cheek to swipe away the glistening tears.

"I don't know- I- I-" Roman whimpered, "I've never felt so warm. This feeling, it's- it's not bad, but I'm just- I'm so overwhelmed..."

He sobbed and sobbed, and Logan pulled him close, allowing Roman to sob into his shoulder. Logan did not show it on his ever-neutral face, but his heart clenched whenever he heard his dear friend's cries. Roman was a crier, whether he was happy, sad, or angry. But despite how common it was to hear and see, Logan still never quite got used to it. Logan just hated to see Roman look so confused and lost. The creative side had never looked more like a child than he did in that moment.

"It's alright, Roman," Logan hushed gently, "It's alright. I've got you. And I want this. I know you're a lot colder than I am. But being here with you, I've never felt so warm either. It appears we have that in common. So relax. Please. I want you here. I...I love you, Roman."

"I..." Roman's breath caught in his throat.

God, how long had it been since somebody said those words to him with such sincerity and sureness?

How long had it been since somebody said them to Logan?

"I love you too," the creative side replied, the words coming out his mouth as easily as water poured through a stream.

There was much more hugging, and staring, and hugging, and staring. The touched-starved prince and the typically emotionally unavailable teacher both felt more alive when they were together. It was such a beautiful feeling they shared, something that could not quite be described or otherwise replicated. All they knew was that together, in that room, surrounded by blankets and all by themselves, Roman and Logan felt trust.

"To think," Roman laughed, in higher spirits already, "The solution was right here this entire time!"

"How absurd of me to be so dense!" Logan cried out, "To have only noticed this now, I'm very ashamed of myself."

"Don't be," Roman reassured, "I couldn't be more grateful for you, Logan."

"And same to you, Roman," Logan said, "If you ever need some warmth from me again, you can always ask. Alright?"

Roman beamed and nodded enthusiastically.

"You got it, teach! he said, "And the second you want it all to stop, I'll pull away. Okay?"

Logan sighed softly, and the smile that grew on his face was so wide and free that it surprised him. To think. Having the choice. It was nice to have a physical relationship that did not feel conditional.

"Okay," he affirmed, adjusting his glasses. "It's a deal."

[pasta-in-the-pudding]

SO IM SORRY IF THIS IS REALLY RANDOM BUT IF ITS OK COULD I REQUEST TICCI TOBY,MASKY,HOODIE,EJ WITH A TEEN!READER that's like shy but when the reader gets more comfortable around them, reader acts childish/shows their inner child bc they had to grow up quickly ifykwim

(this sounds so cringe >_< 😭)

Theres no such thing as bad cringe here, friend. Be as cringe as you'd like!

Thank you so much for requesting!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Toby

Meeting you was pretty normal for him

Most of the other kids around the manor are pretty shy too, so you being shy doesnt matter to him

But once you start getting more comfortable with him, and start opening up more, he notices that you aren't really all that shy, just kind of...yk...traumatized??

He is here for it though, and will do all the things with you

He'll get matching footie pj's with you, He'll get you your favorite childhood snack, you'll turn on your favorite cartoon and He'll help you make an awesome pillow fort

Or, if you prefer, a blanket coccoon for you to snuggle into while you watch your cartoons

He'll also get things that remind him of you

"Y/n i saw this squishmellow and thought of you! Also, i got you some more snacks in this new flavor we haven't tried"

Also, i feel like he'd be the one you go to if you wanna play any games

Lord knows that boy has too much energy for his own good

His favorite is hide and seek, but if you wanna play something else, he's fine with that too

I warn you though, he's very good at hide and seek...

Masky

Masky isn't terrible with kids, but he isn't the greatest

Teenagers are his favorite to babysit/watch, because he can just leave them alone for the most part, if they need anything, they know where to find him

So when you start to open up and show your more childish side, he is kind of taken aback

Not in a bad way, of course

Just shocked, is all

Mostly, he's just glad that you're finally opening up and being yourself

And i mean hey, if coloring in coloring books and eating fruit snacks makes you happy, then who is he to judge?

He won't partake in these activities himself, but if you wanna talk to him about it, then he's all ears

He'll show you his favorite cartoons he watched when he was a kid, he'll show you his favorite childhood snacks, and he'll tell you stories he picked up in his life

Like toby, he will also help you build a wonderful pillow fort

And tim, hes a real manly man, you know, good at building and hunting and stuff

So you KNOW that its gonna be less of a pillow fort and more of a pillow palace

Also, i feel like one of the creeps has a picture of him somewhere, all snuggled up into a pillow, nice and asleep inside your pillow fort while you watch tv

Its used as blackmail, of course

Hoodie

Hoodie loves kids

He's always wanted a kid of his own, he remembers vividly daydreaming about it as a little schoolboy

His occupation has put a bit of a hold on that dream, but the manor has plenty of children that are always begging to be played with

And so, it's probably no wonder you were drawn to him

He's just got such a good vibe, you know?

Like you know that you could tell him anything and he'd just smile and say "i think you should keep living your best life"

Like toby, he goes all out

He probably won't wear footie pj's but yk

He's not too terribly good at making pillow forts, but oh my god can he throw a tea party

And he'll let you do his hair and makeup too!

After his numerous tea parties with sally, he knows all the proper etiquette too

He'd also probably be the one on this list who'd spoil you the most

Literally just ask and he'll probably buy it/make it for you 😭

Eyeless Jack

From a medical standpoint he is very worried for you

His first reaction to you opening up was his eyes slightly widening and his thoughts going "good god who fucked up this kid??"

However, he understands that for a lot of people indulging in childhood interests is a coping mechanism that is very helpful

And it's not hurting you or anyone else, so why would he care?

He studies you intently

He won't actively indulge in your activities like everyone else

He mostly just sits somewhere close by and watches your behaviors

He wants to know what is normal for you and what isn't, that way if your mental health takesa negative turn, he can get on it as quickly as possible

The last thing they need is a kid having a mental breakdown

Maaaybe of you ask nicely he'll watch cartoons with you

Maybe

[arcane-vagabond]

This request was inevitable, but can we see a Jake’s conversation with Mandy either the initial one where he calls things off or the one on the beach after Skipper leaves (I’m leaning towards the second one bc I love seeing him stand up for Skipper 🥺)

For you, my love? Anything 💛

Conversation One: Confronting Mandy the first time.

Jake bounced his leg nervously as he sat on the lone picnic table at the far edge of the pier. It wasn't that he wasn't sure about his decision, but he was more worried about what Mandy would do when she heard what he had to say.

"Alright, Jake. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Speak of the devil, and she shall appear, Jake thought with a smirk. He turned to see the brunette approach him, an unamused look on her face as she took him in.

He might have loved her at one point, but those days had long since passed. He thought back to his teens when he had first presented, so sure that he would spend the rest of his life with her. Their mothers had loved the idea, of course, having grown up as best friends themselves. Jake hadn't wanted to disappoint them, and so he had gone along with their idea, convincing himself that he could find happiness with Mandy.

But as the years stretched on, Jake found himself unable to believe the lies he had made for himself. He wasn't happy, and despite the idea of it being a perfect match, he couldn't bring himself to choose Mandy as his mate. A tiny voice inside him had always whispered at him to wait, that something good and pure was coming to him. And now he knew what, or who, it was.

"Well?" She snapped impatiently, crossing her arms as she glared at him. He took a deep breath.

"Mandy, it's over."

"What's over?" She asked him, annoyance palpable.

"Us. We're-we're done," he sighed, already feeling the weight lifting off of his shoulders. "I can't pretend that I'm happy anymore. It's not fair to either of us. You know it, and I know it. This wasn't meant to last."

"You're joking," Mandy laughed, eyebrows rising in disbelief. "Jake, you've tried this before and it didn't turn out the way you wanted, so why would this time be any different?"

"Because I found her, Mandy."

"Found who?"

"My mate," he murmured, his heart clenching at the word. He pictured your soft smile, the way your hands had gently picked up his gifts. "I found my true mate."

"Jake, be serious," she scowled. "True mates are as rare as they come, and you think that you of all people have found yours?"

Jake didn't say anything. He knew it sounded crazy. Hell, he hadn't quite believed it at first either, but he knew it was true. He felt it down to the very core of his being, and it scared him if he was being completely honest with himself. He hardly knew you, yet he was certain that he loved you. He loved you with everything he had, and he was determined to know why.

"Yes," he stated firmly, peering up at her. "She's mine, Mandy. You can't change fate."

"This isn't fate, Jake," she scoffed, rolling her eyes. "This is you, finding something new, something you haven't had yet. I'll let you play around for now, but it's time to be serious. This will be your third frenzy, and you know what happens when you wait too long. Mine is coming next year."

Jake watched as she turned to walk away. She paused, looking over her shoulder at him.

"So, it's your choice," she smirked, a glint in her eye. "Will it be your frenzy or mine where we finally seal the deal?"

Conversation Two: Confronting Mandy on the beach.

Jake watched as you walked away, moving to chase after you, but Mandy stepped in his path. Her blue eyes swirled as they glowed with unbridled fury.

"Don't you dare," she hissed, pushing him back. He snarled at her, feeling his own rage boil to the surface at being kept away from you.

"Move," he growled, glaring down at her.

"That's not going to happen," she said, standing straighter, eyes narrowing up at him. "You marked her. You marked her and made me look like a fool."

"I can't make you look like a fool when there's nothing between us," he reasoned, and in a seemingly impossible feat, her expression managed to grow darker.

"You're mine, Jake Seresin," Mandy glowered. "You have been and always will be. You and I are the endgame, not some wannabe scientist."

"Mandy, we've talked about this-"

"Oh, get a grip, Jake!" she shrieked. "What am I going to have to do to get it through that thick head of yours that you and I are going to be mated? You can either get with the program now, or I can do something that'll help you get there."

Jake made to answer, but a song cut through the cool, summer breeze, one that Jake had never heard before.

It was a mating call, that much was certain, but Jake didn't recognize the voice. His brow furrowed as he listened, noting how the song sounded more bestial than usual. He made to move, but a hand on his chest stopped him.

"Leave it," Mandy growled, eyes intense as they looked at him. "It's not your concern."

Jake felt his skin crawl as the hand on his chest began to drift lower.

"Let me convince you of what it is you really want," she purred, leaning up to graze her lips against his. Jake felt like he was going to be sick as he pushed her away, Mandy stumbling back before regaining her balance. Jake was fairly certain his heart would have stopped right then and there if she possessed the ability to kill him with a look.

"I don't want you, Mandy," he scowled, pushing past her.

"We'll see about that," she murmured, eyes blazing. Jake paused, glancing back at her. "I'll make you understand what's going to happen."

"Skipper!"

Jake whirled around at the sound of your name being screamed by Nat, fear gripping at him with cold claws. He broke out into a sprint, leaving Mandy behind on the darkened beach, his only thoughts being to get to you before something happened.

[acewitch-writes]

Hello! I recently found your account, and I went on scrolling down and down...and now I hope you know how grateful I am. Thank u- Merci. About 90% of the content you share here has made me feel so much better. I realllyy hope wonderful things happen for you. I've been a fan of hp since 2001, but I'm not really a social media person so I haven't been active in the fandom. I had no idea what was happening here until recently..two months ago to be exact (other details are not important) and omg.. I ended up in a discussion with some I think, new fans. tbh I thought, "Great! I'm good at this, I read all the books more than once Let's talk :)"  and omg their very first question was "What do you think about Regulus?"

I was like, "Who?" *dying from secondhand embarrassment bc It turns out I'm not that good at this

but as the discussion continued, I became more and more baffled bc "Why was everyone talking about Barty, Evan, and Regulus? who is daddy Remu? and what do you mean people ship James Potter with R.A.B.? What?"

I swear for a moment I thought "Did the writer publish a new book? Did I miss something? " tbh, I respect everyone's opinion it's none of my business but I'm still shocked. The only thing that bothers me is everything that happened with this new Wolfsar

omg, for most fans around my age (or at least people I know), Sirius was the complete portrayal of a bad boy- a rebel, with boots, tattoos, a leather jacket, and a fucking motorcycle. so this new Sirius is like a stranger to me, and that's okay. Mein issue is kinda with this new Remus T T my beloved .

They (the fans I was talking with) told me Remus is "tall, so handsome, SO strong, and hot-headed person because,  yk he's a werewolf." I was like "hot headed? excuse me?" I tried to explain to them that Remus being a werewolf is a metaphor for illnesses like HIV, it's not some superpowery gift.  they didn't believe me, but then they literally looked me in the face and said, "Then why would Sirius like someone like him? He's poor, short, and ugly." I swear I wanted to cry right then and there.

What is this mindset that makes some people think that a person should be, Idk, hot and flawless to deserve to be loved? Yes I don't think Remus is tall and super hot and perfect and isn't it fine? and I am 100% sure he's so beautiful. not like Sirius ofc but he has this "warm, cozy, and soft" sort of beauty. and I don't think he was a coward (ok maybe he was a liitle) but I guess it's easier for us, humans, to take the worst or weakest moment of a character and amplify it until it defines them entirely. and omg I'm so sorry for my rant and my bad english. but once again thank you for your beautiful soul <3 thank you

Hi anon! I, too, am baffled by the recent obsession with Regulus in this fandom. I think Jegulus is fine as a crack ship, but it has become so mainstream that many fans have just gone ahead and canonized it to the point that you'll be vilified for not accepting it as canon. I underestimated how popular the "best friend's brother" trope was, apparently. I also think it appeals to many fans as a Marauders Era version of one of the most popular ships of all time, Drarry.

This new version of Wolfstar is my biggest complaint with today's fandom, too! I get that the Marauders have very limited canon information and therefore we have more creative freedom to flesh them out, but I really believe that it has gone way too far. Sirius and Remus in today's fandom don't bear any resemblance to the characters they're based on. Remus is just a generic alpha werewolf OC and Sirius is his generic himbo femboy love interest OC. They don't even share a physical description with their Canon counterparts, and their personalities and character traits are so far removed that I can't even fathom how we reached this point as a fandom. How can you claim to like these characters if you have to change everything the source material says about them?

You're English is great, by the way! I completely agree that Remus has a cozy-and-warm sort of beauty. He made a point to distance himself from the stigma surrounding Lycanthropy because it was the focal point of his shame and self-loathing. And I just adore Wolfstar's dynamic from this lens, with the intimidatingly beautiful, confident, headstrong Sirius Black, who could have his pick of anyone he wants, choosing this ordinary guy because he's cozy and soft and it's exactly what Sirius wants after surviving the harsh ideals and abuse of House Black.

[highlordofkrypton]

ACOTAR headcanons // (au) cassian

I feel like I need to put a disclaimer before my favs on here block me for being a cassian!girlie, BUT I'M NOT LIKE OTHER GIRLS I SWEAR 😂😂😂 PLS LOVE ME ANYWAY I HAVE THE BRAINWORMS RN BEAR WITH ME

That said, I don't think I have much Cassian content to post aside from this (until Cassian week).

Anyway, this is in regards to my au!cassian, also known as Wildflowers!Cassian (my canon-divergent prequel fic), also ALSO known as Mathian (mathi!cassian -- shout out to @wingsdippedingold for the name I love it, I'm adopting it his full name is Cassian Mathian the first of his name, general of the night court, etc etc.).

The Tamlin x Cassian besties brainworms have taken a hold of me so, I've stopped fighting it.

ABOUT MATHI'S CASSIAN

uses 'bro' way too much.

imagines the mating bond to be something akin (but not as good) as having the perfect gym bro who spots you and supports you when you're trying to hit a PR

mental health adage: pain without gains is a no-no. it means that you should not be suffering pointlessly, and will encourage you to address ur problems so you can have MENTAL GAINS too.

values truth and justice, would fight his own people for doing the wrong thing; case in point, he was horrified at Rhys' misuse of his daemati abilities.

would never sleep with Mor because he knew Azriel liked her -- that's wrong bro. he would try to find a different way out, maybe 1v1 eris in a fallmart parking lot if it came down to it. i also feel like he's the type of character to make sure that someone's first time is really, really special. he would pull out all the stops to make his partner feel comfortable.

his favourite greeting @ tamlin is a headbutt or tackle. there is no reality where they don't end up wrestling, it's very embarassing to rhys and lucien as the local 'himbo' handlers.

i believe the proper characterization for cassian to be the himbo trifecta: kind, handsome and a lil bit dumb.

10/10 would save kittens from trees, also 10/10 would mistake a tasmanian devil for a cat that needs to be saved and gets scratched the hell out of him

vegetarian ally, he actually tried to start going vegan to support tamlin -- at least, when they're together -- but the unanimous consensus was that for the sake of prythian and its inhabitants, no one should suffer those bean/tofu farts (you might think this is a joke, but i will NOT expand on my tofu experience thanks) and he also thinks being vegetarian is beans only so like guys he's TRYING

it's very important to me that cassian is gray romantic or demi-romantic; i like to imagine that he feels very deeply, which is why he hides it with is silliness, and with his upbringing, it's not very easy to open up his world to anyone. idk, cassian sleeping around doesn't particularly speak to me. take this with a grain of salt, i haven't explored this side of him enough to be definitive.

rhys and azriel are his brothers, tamlin is his best friend in the whole world. rhys and tamlin killing each other's parents and the subsequent rift would have broken his heart, he would have sad puppied the rest of the series if I had any say in it.

i think if not for his bargain w/ rhys, he would have absolutely reached out for tamlin for help when Rhys disappeared (spoilers for my sequel mb???)

he is a super senshi at heart -- sailor mars, specifically, is his fav. he sees himself in her OK.

cassian is short, esp for a fae he's like 5'7"-5'10" at best and its great bc we love a short king

plays pranks on Tamlin the most bc Rhys is a smartass, Azriel is a knowitall, Mor and Lucien just don't believe him, he's scared of Amren and Tamlin always listens

i'm anti-bond in general, so i wouldn't mate him with anyone, but if the vibes are there, the vibes are there.

cassian is the first person outside Tamlin's family to help him do his hair

i think people underestimate the comedic value of cassian toting people around under his arms as a legit travel method. oh, someone isn't showing up? send cassian, he will fetch them for u

cassian did impersonate tamlin for a day in his court bc tamlin/cassian had a bet with everyone else that they AREN'T the same person and they are very, very, very different -- nobody noticed the switch, they just thought tamlin was having a very silly day. cassian even chatted up the local wildlife which... is very tamlin. the only things that did notice were the Green (flora magic) that were very 🙄🙄🙄 at cassian

is anti-tithe bc he doesn't know what it means; he suggested everyone donate a part of their earnings so that they can have a very big savings account to pay for things that affect the collectivity of the court, he is also taking NO NOTES on his brilliant idea nONE

tamlin will never say it, but cassian's birthday gifts are his fav (they r usually really ugly matching shirts with something really dumb on them)

I'll probably expand on this list if I have ideas, but I feel like this gives a decent framework to the type of character when ✨I✨ am referring to him. As a person, I do not live in the canon universe, and I have decided to make a personalized blorbo out of Cassian.

This is also the energy I bring my twitter memes 😂

[doublejango]

Just personal rambling and sap under the cut.

I am an absolute potato of a human being. I'm not someone who others compliment in person, ever. I cannot remember the last time someone complimented me about my looks. Back in early January there was a day where I hauled a coworker out of a pit with one arm, because I was holding onto a fence post with the other, and he was just so shocked and said something like, "I didn't know you could do that." Which, considering he was soaked and muddy and one of the sides of the pit was turning into a slurry in the rain, and had been sliding down onto him, seemed very kind that he took the time to say that. But really, that was the last one I could think of, and I'm not sure that counts.

Then yesterday, three different people gave me the same compliment, it was bizarre. All when we were alone together. Two people I knew, one stranger. They all said, and phrased it almost exactly the same way, "you have this glow about you, you look incredible." And it was so fucking weird? It really touched me and meant a lot, even though it took me by surprise. Like, the third was from a stranger, a retired naval officer; we'd been standing there watching the stormy weather approaching, talking about the various crew responses we directed during emergencies, when he turned and said that.

I don't know how to take compliments like that without getting hella awkward, but tried my best. Still, three of that inside like four hours? It was bizarre. A good bizarre, I held it close, because things have felt rough emotionally recently, and since I'm reasonably sure I haven't ingested radium recently I probably wasn't actually glowing.

And then this morning, someone gave me the biggest compliment of all time. I won't name names, bc it was sweet and silly and the best thing but idk how comfy they'd be with me sharing it, but hjdjvjdjfk. As good as the random compliments had felt? There's no comparing to how amazing it feels when someone just does the internet equivalent of grabbing you and saying "we're friends now!" In the sweetest way, and so sincere seeming, and gjdjvje. I'm a mess. But a happy mess? And this is literally the most pointless ramble. But when people are kind... holy fuck, it matters. It matters so much. Kindness matters so much more than I think anyone ever really realizes.

I hope everyone is having a beautiful day!

[rweoutofthewoods]

can you talk more about your own experience with bpd in relation to james and regulus in the fics you write? sorry if that was confusing i can’t figure out how to word the question better

Okay I THINK (and you can correct me if I'm wrong) that you mean like how similar they are to real life/if any of it is directly my experience? (plus how it might differ?)

I try to be careful in not making my characters me, so generally the things I pull directly from my own experience are the emotions and thoughts behind it all, which I think are the important part because that's the one thing someone without BPD might have a harder time replicating. You know, the thing you might not be able to nail by doing research or googling symptoms is how it actually feels to live with BPD.

So some of it is pretty universal in borderline, and I know it because I've lived it, but I'm also not writing my own life. THOUGH I am trying to write a realistic depiction, if that makes sense. I follow a lot of creators with BPD, I have friends with BPD, and have spent a lot of time on BPD subreddits so I try to take my experiences as well as those around me and things I've learned from others to paint a better picture of BPD. For example, the one BPD symptom I've rarely experienced is dissociation but I've still tried my best to include it in owcm because other people do experience it, even if I don't. Because the thing is you need 5 out of 9 symptoms to be diagnosed which means not everyone with BPD will experience all of them. So everyone's experience is unique, and my depiction is furthered by what I know, but I try not to LIMIT it to that. Some tiktok accounts I think do a good job on BPD are this and this one if anyone wants to learn more outside of me.

Since it develops as you get older, this is why in my depiction of BPD I write my characters as adults. I personally, noticed my life was being detrimentally affected around 18-19, but I've struggled with mental health since I was 12. And since BPD is largely caused by trauma, it's not like it's smooth sailing your entire life and then suddenly you turn 18 and boom, you have BPD. There are distinct environments and feelings you might have as a child that lead to it becoming BPD. So like in ppp, James always felt like there was something wrong with him as long as he could remember, but it didn't REALLY come to a head until he was an adult. And there were a few parts in Monty's POV in ppp about James' mental health as an adolescent that were similar to my experience, but not exactly the same. Here's a video I think does a really good job of explaining the possible kind of childhood circumstances and how it manifests later in life.

Something of my own experience I've never put in my fics (because I'm very sensitive and careful with this topic) is that BPD can be comorbid with other disorders/illnesses. I don't bring up my other stuff here bc I think it's more likely to be harmful and triggering than helpful or educational, BUT a lot of people with BPD have other burdens as well whether this is another disorder or substance abuse, etc. And that's something I haven't really touched on before, because of course, I am aware that my writing is being consumed by people and as honest as I want to be, I also want to limit potential harm. So my depiction is a little affected by that awareness.

I have a short oneshot (and pretty shitty, sorry.... it was a vent I wrote in like an hour) about BPD james from spring. That one, just because it was just a one-time, throw-it-out-there kind of fic, does come from a lot of my own experiences. There's a few scenes that actually happened to me in there, but I don't/haven't done that in ppp or owcm.

So I guess in short, everything I write about BPD James and Reg are real, but it's not always necessarily my personal experience. The feelings, thoughts, and reactions however, are pretty universal, and even if the events may not be real, they mirror the kind of things that WOULD cause those emotions and reactions. I HOPE this answers your question and I'm understanding it correctly <33

Much love xx

[p4rallel-universe]

i just finished reading "brokeback" and i'm so in love, is it okay if i request a part 3 maybe where ian finds out about they're relationship? i feel like he would be so weirded out at first bc he didn't expect it from lip to be with a man, but when he sees how good they are to eachother he would be somewhat proud lol (you can modify the idea as well) or lip talking to ian like "thank you a lot for the very invasive talk and un-noticed advice"

bye byee <3

brokeback (pt. 3)

something doesn't feel right to Ian.

a month has passed since you started staying in the Gallagher house, and it's basically your home now. you hang with Ian and make sure he's taking care of himself. you look after Liam. you talk to Debbie and help her out with her teenage girl problems to the best of your adult man capabilities. you try and keep carl from being arrested as much as possible. and as long as you're helping out, Fiona is a fan of yours.

so, all is well. except, Ian can't quite place what's going on with Lip. he's both acting distant and happier than Ian's seen him in months. to make things stranger, the apparent negative tension between you two has resolved, but he still hasn't caught you exchanging more than 2 words to eachother a day.

a couple nights the previous week, Ian awoke in the middle of the night and looked over to find your makeshift bed empty. which wouldn't be a big deal, if it hadn't happened several times, and if you hadn't not returned until Ian woke up the next morning. still, he doesn't read too deeply into it. maybe you fell asleep downstairs or decided to start going on midnight runs. he didn't know and was too tired to care, frankly. besides, you had always returned by the time he'd woken up

until, one morning he wakes up and you aren't there, and by the looks of it haven't been all night.

confused and dazed with tiredness, Ian stumbles out into the hall in search of the bathroom, when he sees you exiting the spare room in a way that would be subtle if he hadn't been staring right at you. he shoots you a confused look, as if to ask, "what were you doing in there?" and you just nod to him, patting his shoulder as you walk past into your shared room. "weird." he mumbles before turning into the bathroom.

the idea of your best friend screwing your older brother is a disturbing one. so, despite his concerns, Ian tried his best to stear clear of that frame of thought. which was going pretty well for him, until he entered the spare room, planning to look for a coat he was sure he'd left in there, and sees the floor littered with your clothes, as well as his brothers. he audibly groans at the uncomfortable realisation he's just been forced to have.

"fuck. my gay best friend is screwing my straight brother- my not straight brother? my...gay brother?", a hundred thoughts rush through his head at once. "i need to talk to Lip.", is the final one.

that night, Lip is outside on the back porch smoking a cig and brooding. Ian tries to bite back a rather large wave of disgust, shock and strange...curiosity? before joining him out there.

"hey." he says from behind him, trying not to fidget. it isn't that he doesn't want Lip to be gay. or bi. or whatever. i mean, gayness isn't an awkward thing to Ian. like, at all. so why is it suddenly such a touchy subject?

"yo," Lip nods and offers the cig offer to Ian, who declines it. Lip furrows his brow and turns away, chuckling, "what, you too good to smoke now?" he jokes and Ian tries to laugh along,

"ah no, eh i was uh- hoping to talk to you.", Ian stammers, Lip shoots him a weird look,

"you can talk." Lip answers, shaking his head and taking another puff,

"look, Lip, you're my brother and...and i love you. you know i'd never uh, judge you for who or what you choose to be and i uh-" Ian is trying to be supportive, but he guesses it isn't working,

"what the fuck are you talking about Ian?" Lip is pretty sure he knows what's coming anyway. it isn't like you tried to hide it. he wonders if he wanted to hide it. maybe you should've hid it,

"i know there's something going on between you and Y/N. and i dunno if you're like, dating, or just fucking or...i mean, do you love him?"

and there it is. it's out. Lip's secret that wasn't a secret that shouldn't have been his in the first place. despite expecting this very thing, he still pauses, his jaw hardening. he flicks the cig away. there's silence between them.

"the fuck you mean, 'do i love him'? does it matter?", he snaps, then pauses, "i uh, i took your advice. well, what you said about Mickey. the stuff about the hair and the eyes. i dunno. i guess i just don't know if i love him. we uh, we hang out i guess." Lip chuckles as he mimics his brother's statement from all those weeks ago. his chuckle fades into a solemn smile and Ian takes a step closer,

"look, man, you don't need to know anything. you wanna be with him, that's great. that's cool. fucking weird. but cool." Ian pats Lip on the shoulder and Lip shoots him a smile. the silence resumes.

"so...how the hell did that happen?" Ian breaks the silence and they both chuckle in bewilderment,

"don't ask me, man. fuck, i dunno, pheromones? the fuck should i know..." Lip grins to himself, remembering how it all played out between you, "whatever the fuck it is, he's got me. like he's under my skin or, like, in the fucking air around me. some pretentious shit like that." Lip scoffs at himself, but he means it. Ian can tell he means it, and pulls him in for a hug.

Lip holds on for a couple minutes before pulling back. he shoves Ian by the shoulder,

"get the fuck out of here." he chuckles and Ian gives him a look. a look that kinda says, you're welcome for the advice. a look that kinda says, this is insane and unexpected but it's okay.

and Lip really feels okay. he smiles to himself, alone on the porch. when he hears the door shut and your voice from inside the house, he runs in, beaming.

and you feel okay together.