#bc i don't know where a bucket is

[anonymusbosch]

Local Car Washed For The First Time In Nearly Two Years

After over a year of neglect and several months of gridlock in local government over budget allocations for the matter, anonymusbosch's car's interior was washed today. Asked for comment on what finally allowed the council to come to agreement on this desperately-needed measure, Bosch responded, "Well, it's been overdue for a while, but the recent exposure of nearly the entire interior to urushiol increased the urgency of finding a fix. The health of our constituents is a top priority for the council." (Urushiol is the oil found in poison oak and poison ivy and can cause itching and burning lesions upon contact; the oils can remain on fabrics for weeks.)

Given that this vehicle is primarily used for transporting heavy and bulky objects and for transporting personnel who have come in contact with poison oak, why was the matter not addressed sooner? A spokesperson for Bosch responded, "Frankly, we haven't had the equipment to deal with this, and we've never seen an urushiol dermatitis incident in the time we've had this car. We've been attributing that to better precautionary measures about second- and third-hand exposure. With the recent outbreak, we've been able to justify to the county treasurer the bond measure used to finance the remediation project."

An aide at the councilmember's office provided further detail. "When we originally proposed a remediation project, the cost estimate was nearly $200 for a full interior detailing. That wasn't something our local taxpayers were prepared to support and frankly thinking about spending $200 for someone to clean our car made us nauseous. At the same time, we don't have a wet-dry vacuum, so we weren't prepared to lead a remediation project ourselves. Thankfully we were tipped off to a more cost-effective option that has saved our taxpayers over $150."

A source who asked to remain unnamed listed the total dollar amount spent as "like 45 bucks" and said that "but like ten whole dollars went into the vacuum at a gas station because this fucker had straight up gravel all over the car. Completely irresponsible." The source added, "And they didn't even get all the sand out. Next time they might as well turn the car upside down and shake it." Eyewitnesses corroborated the source's price estimates, saying that a spot cleaner could be rented at the local Safeway for $29.99 for four hours and that the councilmember had been spotted loitering near the customer service desk there earlier today.

"We're happy to report that the councilmember has the financial considerations of the district's residents close at heart," said Bosch's spokesperson when asked for comment on the vacuum expenditure. "While the vacuuming portion of the remediation project went slightly over budget, we recouped an additional $12.99 by opting for laundry detergent instead of buying an entire container of carpet cleaner. We take these matters seriously."

An independent auditor who assessed the results of the remediation effort said that the car's interior was "not perfect, but, like, not narsty. There was gunk in all the corners and there isn't gunk now, or there's less gunk, and there also isn't a thin layer of sediment on everything either." The auditor noted that previous violations, like "a piece of tape that had been on the steering wheel for literally three years" and "four-month-old parking receipts" had been removed. "The urushiol was the highest priority, but it is also nice to see some of the lower-priority code violations addressed here as well," the auditor said.

When asked about whether the council would make vehicle cleanings a part of its standard services to the county or include them as a line item in next year's budget, Bosch replied, "Let's focus on the victories here. This was a collaborative effort that took several months of negotiations. I'd love to see support for it across the council, but I don't want to overpromise and underdeliver." Our reporter reminded Bosch that some cities support vehicle cleanings on a yearly or even quarterly basis. Maybe, like, just using the gas station vacuum once in a while? Bosch declined to comment. The Times also asked Bosch's office if the momentum from this victory for public health and transportation might be used to fix the apartment's bike storage rack or to schedule an appointment to replace the worn and thinning tires. "Our office has no further comment at this time," an aide replied. "And shut up about the tires. We'll get around to it."

After what it's taken to clean the interior, one can only hope.

[depresseddepot]

okay. can someone reassure me that I will have other chances to see the northern lights because I am feeling very end of the world-y right now

[frostbite-the-bat]

... My parents really for real are leaving the uncleaned, rotten potato juice and other misc unknown juice infested, LITERALLY FRUIT FLY LARVAE INFESTED, cupboards, in the bathroom,

For like the 4th day starting today if I am counting right

Sure just don't let me shower sure just let me get paranoid over the larvae sure make me not trust the bathtub for like a week sure let the place get more infested sure let it stink up the whole place SURE LEAVE THE FUCKING BATHROOM UNUSABLE

[byfulcrums]

been rewatching rtte

toothless is called T multiple times, but the letter T doesn't exist in the alphabet of this world

i think hiccup was also called H???

hiccup went to the wedding of the man who tried to kill him and his family multiple times. no wonder he thought he could change drago's mind

snotlout is canonically a theater kid

"you're so small and cuddly" "please never say that again"

the twins are really smart, but they're also just stupid

hiccup straight up disappears when he's working on something

heather had a super noticeable crush on astrid

fishlegs got a love interest!! a plus size main character actually has a cool, badass love interest!

it was super hetnormative but it was cute

there was an island full of flying women who were implied to regularly commit cannibalism

hiccup taught all the riders how to fly with toothless, that's so sweet

everyone is a flat earther except for the twins

hiccup almost directly killed a lot of people

and killed a LOT more when destroying their ships

“scalding– cal..ding--" "toothle, plama bla!" was pretty much the funniest part of the entire series

dagur was bullied as a kid by a guy 8 years older than him who literally tattooed an imagine of him beating up little dagur in his arm??? What was that all about

actually we need to talk about how messed up everything about dagur is and about how the things that could've/did happen(ed) to him may be the reasons why he's Like That

just why was he imprisoned by the outcasts??? he didn't do anything to them directly

oof my brain is spiraling. "he loved you" "ig now we'll never know" what do you mean he didn't know if his dad loved him

there's a technically musical episode

tuffnut became hiccup's defense attorney and immediately got him the death sentence

hiccup regularly jumps off cliffs

he also jumped off a boat, with his arms tied and without toothless. just where did he think he was going

snotlout's annoying attitude is actually because spitelout pressures him too much and he feels like he has to be perfect for his dad :((

THE 'HICCUP'S EVIL MIRROR' VILLAIN THEME DONE RIGHT YESS!!!

viggo is the best httyd villain change my mind (you can't, swords at sundown, you may bring backup but i will win on my own)

skrill comeback skrill comeback SKRILL COMEBACK!!!!

"COMEEE TO DADDY"

what is a boar pit???

oh my god i had missed this series so much. it has no right to be this funny

this was my childhood. it has forever shaped the way i am

berserker heather the unhinged >>>

actually good disability rep! yay

hiccup complains about his peg leg pinching him

he straight up cannot walk without it and it is shown many times

"well, there are the benefits of a metal leg" after it got caught in a bear trap

funny moments, like snotlout trying to steal it to use it as a weapon

the jokes!! toothless laughing at the jokes!!! hiccup being so fucking done with the twins, who are always making the jokes!

there's an episode where everyone is so sleep deprived they actually start spiraling

astrid becomes a happy go lucky girl, hugs snotlout and tells him he's handsome

the fucking mood swings snotlout got were insane

the twins were straight up just hallucinating

"i sent them to wash their dragons, how could they mess that up?" cut to heather falling on her face with a bucket full of water in her hands

fishlegs becomes so paranoid, he's yelling at everyone all the time

"don't you know the trapper's trap can trap the trapper?? ...oh gods, i must be losing it, i'm quoting dagur"

YOOOO VALKA!!!! it's so nice to see her

hiccup tried to murder dagur to stop him from getting to toothless, which is scary bc it shows just how far he's willing to go for his bff, but also funny because hiccup. that was not going to work

oh the hiccstrid slowburn, how i have missed you

the twins's made up language

there was a beach episode turned murder mystery and a musical episode held at gun point

hiccup has a whole little speech that he periodically gives astrid to remind her that the twins serve a purpose

[m1guelsgf]

done for the night

axel kovacevic x reader

author's note ⋆｡𖦹 ✮ ‧₊˚✩彡

hiiiii this is my first fic for any CK character so i'm kinda nervous. hope u like it. i started a pt. 2 already bc i just love axel but i also wanna write him in different scenarios as well! will open my requests asap :)

c.w.

s6pt2 spoilers, drinking.

being in barcelona was a dream. you were grateful that you were able to tag along with the miyagi do's. sensei larusso and sensei lawerence always liked you, especially johnny. being miguel's best friend is a privilege you were happy to have. sure, it came with a lot of drama but it also came with a protector, a group of friends, and some karate skills.

plus, being miyagi do's water girl wasn't a bad deal for being flown out to barcelona.

you were enjoying being on the inside of all the events while not needing to fight. the first couple of rounds you seen were intense. being around all these powerful people made you a little nervous but you had hope nothing terrible would happen like the rumble at west valley. these weren't angry teenagers fueled off drama and angst, they're athletes. aspiring professionals.

after miyagi do managed to stay in the game by the skin of their teeth, everyone was getting ready to go out. sam was talking your and devons ear off about spain and all the things her and miguel were going to do in their freetime when there was a knock at the door. you got up from your spot at the vanity and opened it to see miguel.

he was distressed, foot anxiously tapping with a hand through his hair. "is sam in here?"

"yeah, sam." you waved her over to the door. "you good, miggy?" miguel opened his mouth to speak and his eyes immediately welled up with tears. "what's wrong?"

"my mom..." his voice shook as he took sam in his arms for a hug. "something's wrong with the baby, i need to go back home." he spoke, voice muffled by sams hair.

"of course." you nodded. "is there anything we can do?"

he only shook his head and hugged sam harder.

"miguel." johnny said from the end of the hallway and beckoned him.

miguel let sam go and gave you a quick but tight hug before taking off. you and sam share an uneasy look before going back inside the room.

"miguel's going back home? sensei too?" devon asked and the two of you nodded.

"i need a drink." you said, grabbing your purse.

***

at the bar, everyone just seemed to take the gloominess with them. knowing miguel was struggling made it impossible to have fun.

"what are we going to do now that miguel's gone?" devon asked hawk and demitri.

"we could always have y/n take his spot?" hawk said, giving you a look over like he was sizing you up.

you scoffed. "yeah right, i wasn't even good enough to fight for a spot in the sekai tekai. getting my ass kicked on the world stage isn't on my bucket list."

"i'm serious." hawk said. "if they can't get kenny, you're next up. so don't black out this time." hawk pointed at your drink, remembering the time you got blackout drunk and threw up all over the inside of his car at one of moons parties.

"i'd prefer drunk y/n over kenny any day." demitri started. "at least she didn't shit her pants."

"oooookay." you stood up, taking your empty glass with you. "i'm getting another drink." you saw the way they were looking at you. "my last one. i don't think you guys will need me but if you do, i'll be ready. i promise."

you walked over to the bar, where sam and robby were sitting. "hey."

"hey." sam said and robby only nodded.

"what's with him?" you noticed robby's bad mood as soon as you walked up.

"maybe you can help." sam stood up, taking her cup with her. "i'm gonna go sit with the others for a sec, see if miguel still has service."

"okay." you nodded, taking sams spot at the bar. "what's wrong?"

"everything." robby sighed. "i need a drink."

you wanted to tell him not to, that it wouldn't solve anything but you knew that he already knew.

"get one, whatever you want. i got us for the first round." you took some cash from your pocket. "hey, can i get a mai tai and..."

"a rum and coke. double. please." robby asked and the bartender nodded, getting to work on your drinks.

"it's one of those nights, huh?" he only nodded, peering at the other edge of the bar for a moment before scoffing and turning back to you.

"yeah." you looked down to where he had just looked, to see tory and kwon sitting besided each other. kwon had an arm around her shoulders and was whispering something in her ear.

"i'm sorry robby. she's gonna come around, i know she is."

"i don't know. she's doing better without me." robby took a sip of his drink and looked down to where tory was sitting. kwon had separated from her but was still close. "and i'm here." he looked at his drink. "thanks by the way."

"it's not good to drink alone. especially when you're down." you nodded, taking a sip of your drink. "also, i missed out on the robby who smoked weed and skated everywhere. i hear he was kinda fun."

"i still skate everywhere." he said with a small laugh. "just not a skate rat anymore."

"yeah, you're the captain now." you gently nudged his shoulder. "i don't know how that feels exactly, the pressure, but i do know that you're gonna make everyone back home proud. especially tory."

"i hope so." he took another drink and eventually, his was gone.

"i know so. she's been watching every one of your fights."

robby cringed a little bit. "knowing i've lost every one of my fights definitely makes me feel lame."

"you're still in it. there's still tomorrow." you took another sip of your drink.

robby nodded. "i'm gonna go to the bathroom."

you nodded in return, looking over your shoulder to see hawk on his phone, sam and devon talking, and demitri dancing with a girl. when you turned back to where robby was sitting, kwon was in his seat.

"hi."

"hello." you were playing with your straw.

"what are you drinking?"

"a mai tai." your responses were dry but kwon wasn't backing off.

"do you want to dance?" he offered his hands but you shook your head, backing away a little.

"no, thanks."

"what? you're only miyagi do's little girlfriend? not for the rest of us?" kwon leaned in closer. "i can treat you better than keene."

"leave me alone, kwon."

"hey." robby's voice came from behind you.

kwon only scoffed and backed up. "someone's waiting for me anyways." he stood up. "i promise i'll keep her warm tonight, keene." he said before leaving the bar.

"are you okay?"

"i need some air." you stood up and went outside, leaving your friends at the bar. you felt bad for leaving robby alone but you couldn't be there anymore.

you felt the effects of the alcohol as you walked down to the beach. your head was spinning. you stopped and took a seat near the shore, sighing as you looked out to the water.

and then you saw him.

axel kovacevic.

he had been destroying his opponents on the mat. nobody's been able to land a point on him. he was one of the strongest competitors. he was stoic too, especially now as he was practicing his kata about 10 feet away from you. in the moonlight, by the ocean, with the alcohol making your perspective soft, he wasn't robotic. he was focused. until he caught you staring at him.

you made eye contact and immediately looked down at your lap. you waited about 5 seconds to check if he was still looking and he was full on staring. it was awkward. he wasn't looking at you as a threat, but with curiosity.

the two of you observed each other for a silent minute before you decided to say something. "hi." you waved and he didn't say anything in return. "you're axel right?" he nodded. "i'm y/n. i liked the kata you were doing."

"i'm not supposed to speak with opponent." he turned away from you and you stood up.

"i'm not your opponent. i'm not even fighting in the tournament. more like, emergency backup." you smiled, watching the corner of his lips tug upwards.

"why aren't you fighting?" he asked curiously, taking a step closer to you.

"i'm not really a fighter like my friends are." you shrugged. "you're great though."

"i'm alright." he leaned over to pick up his shirt and revealed bruises on his back. the sight made you wince.

"what happened?"

"bo staff competition."

"nobody has been able to land a point on you yet." you looked at him and he had a sort of an embarrassed look. "i know about... your sensei. one of my friends saw. it's not right. you should be out with your team, not practicing alone."

"there's always time for practice. my sensei wants me to be the best. it's because of him i never lose."

"doesn't make it right." you responded. "your entire dojo is pretty great though, i have to admit."

"you're pretty." axel stopped himself. your face was on fire and so was his. "your dojo's pretty good too."

"thanks. do you wanna walk with me? back to the hotel?" you asked, rocking on your heels. axel looked around and nodded and you both took off into the night.

"how long have you been fighting for?" you asked.

"ever since i was a kid. what about you?"

"only a couple years. after one of my friends got really hurt, i decided i had to get serious about learning. he had been teaching me some stuff but when it happened i just had to join a dojo. it was actually... cobra kai."

axel looked at you in disbelief. "you were in cobra kai?"

"yeah. after miguel got hurt, i was really angry and i took it out on everyone."

"miguel..."

"he was the original cobra kai." you remembered when miguel excitedly showed you his first gi. "it's a long story though. those sensei's, silver. they put me and all my friends through hell. so i know what its like to have a sensei do anything to make you the best, even hurt you."

axel couldn't say anything, he could only look at you with wonder. "is that why you don't fight anymore?"

"kind of. i don't know. i'm just not as angry as i used to be. i feel like my anger was the only reason i was ever good and i don't wanna live like that." you shrugged.

"i understand." he nodded. "i love karate but i don't want to be a robot all the time." you shook your head and opened your mouth to speak but he interrupted. "i hear what everyone says. they call me a monster, a machine. sometimes i just want to be axel." you nodded, this time you didn't have anything to say. "that's why i like to travel. i get to disappear in each city whenever i'm not fighting."

"how many cities have you been to?"

"a lot." he chuckled and listed all the cities and countries he's been to. you listened in awe. "what about you?"

"i've never really left california." you responded. "but after being here, i'd love to see everything. the sagrada familia makes me feel small but not in a scary way. it's like a monument to the great things humans can do."

"how cute!" a familiar voice interrupted. "little rival team playtime, huh?" kwon and another cobra kai came from around the corner. "thought you were only for miyagi do to play with."

"and i thought i told you to leave me alone." you tried to push past them but they blocked the path. you could smell the alcohol on kwons breath as he spoke. "just let us go."

"what's the magic word?" kwon asked, leaning in closer to you.

"move." you responded bluntly, not wanting anything else to do with this.

"wrong." kwon scoffed and shook his head. he glanced over your shoulder and you were sure someone was behind you.

"we just want to go back to the hotel." you weren't planning on giving kwon what he wanted.

"okay. you can go, only if you say please." kwon was in your face again, smug smile plastered on his face.

before you knew it, the other cobra kai kicked axel. it barely affected him as he shot into action to defend the both of you.

"come on, hit me. show me why they brought you here." kwon tapped his cheek and you were about to raise your arm when you were grabbed from behind. you elbowed whoever grabbed you multiple times before being able to slither out and kick him across the face. at the same time, axel shoved the other cobra kai into kwon. "okay come on. i'll take you both."

the sound of sirens took everyone but kwon out of the fight. he was still pressing axel and had to be taken away by his teammates.

"come on, let's go."

the two of you bolted back to the beach. after catching your breath, you started laughing a little.

"what?" axel asked.

"that guy kicked you and you barely moved. you have a strong base."

axel looked away from you, a smile spreading across his face. "thanks. that was a nice roundhouse."

"thanks, axel." you smiled at him and then looked out at the ocean. when you looked back at him, he was staring. no, he was admiring you. "what?"

axel said nothing, he only reached to tuck a piece of hair behind your ear. his hand brushed against your face and you leaned into the touch.

and then he kissed you.

and you kissed him back. it was perfect. he was cradling your face with one hand, pulling you closer by your waist with the other. his mouth moved against yours softly and romantically. it was sweet. he didn't want anything other than to kiss you and you were happy to oblige and let yourself be putty in his hands.

but then your head started spinning again. you pulled away abruptly, taking a deep breath as you came up for air. the alcohol, the running, and the kissing were all making you dizzy. "axel i-."

"i'm sorry, i should go. already after curfew." axel took off running down the beach.

"wait, axel!" you called out after him but he was gone. you felt terrible as you went back inside the bar to meet with your team. everyone was already heading out and robby was nowhere to be seen. you figured he had went back to the hotel and hoped he would be fine. everyone else on the other hand would be dealing with their drama for a minute, including yourself.

[1000plants]

Holidays - Thanksgiving

Bucky Barnes x reader (GN)

Summary: Holiday drabble with one of my favorite super soldier boys <33333 

Warnings- Alcohol/drinking/intoxication, Soft!Bucky (a warning bc oh god I love him hes a cutie patootie) 

Word count- 1.8k

Author's Note- consider this a little gift, my little heathens. Hope you enjoy! All feedback is appreciated!

Masterlist

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“Aaannnnd… is that your second or third drink of the day?” Bucky casually teases as he slides next to where you sat. His voice was low and quiet, a metaphorical bucket of cold water over your alcohol induced overheating brain.

You dryly laugh, lips pressed thin as you stare at the spiked lemonade in your hand. It had honestly lost its flavor at this point, but it was the only thing getting you through the day. You clear your throat as you turn in your seat to face Bucky, the two of you sitting at the bar that Tony insisted be fully stocked for the holiday season. Bucky was leaning his back against the edge of the counter, his right elbow propped up as it loosely held a beer.

He looked as calm as you wished you felt. How he did it you would never know. He seemed so carefree, unbothered, bored.

“Third.” You bluntly reply, sucking in a sharp breath through your teeth. Your head was feeling a little fuzzy, but it was a more welcomed sensation than talking with the numerous people that had shown up today. 

Before the upcoming Thanksgiving day celebration, Tony was throwing a “simple” party. Less intense than his normal ragers, but still requiring a lot of socializing. It was only about one p.m., but there were over forty people milling about the main floor of the tower. SHIELD agents, Tony's workers, the other Avengers, Fury and Hill… There were too many people, in your humble opinion.

“Mmm,” Bucky hummed in acknowledgement, taking a healthy swig of his beer as he arched his eyebrows briefly, “same.”

He was doing a better job at involving himself in the festivities. You hated these things. Sure, Christmas was fun, and meeting up and reconnecting with friends was always nice… But Thanksgiving seemed tedious and unnecessary. 

You couldn't help the snort that came from your nose nor the grin on your lips as you glanced from Bucky to the rest of the people in the room. They all added to the noise of the room, even the alcohol wasn't silencing them in your head.

“Really?” You ask incredulously, not bothering to hide the shock in your tone or on your face. Though, in honesty, it might've been the buzz that made it impossible to hide, “You could've fooled me. Didn't take you as a day drinker.”

Bucky chuckled, baring his teeth slightly as he sat down his mostly empty bottle, “I’m… not. Not normally,” he admits, sighing as he rubs his chin.

You were always drawn to how dazzling he looked. Was dazzling even the right word? Your brain seemed to shut down every time Bucky talked to you. He was softer than anyone could've prepared you for. Speaking quietly of novels he read, silently paying for someone else's coffee, watering the plants around the tower when their owners were away. 

The man was silent, as always, but it was never malicious. And, God… that was a dazzling thing to be.

“I'm just sick of,” He gestured vaguely to the chattering people. Since now you were talking with Bucky, you had felt Steve's worried gaze leave you. His stare at your lonesome form had been suffocating.

It was no secret you didn't enjoy these gatherings. It was an odd limbo: loving the tiny parties and the massive ones… but hatting these mild ones. Always just a handful of people you don't know, and they are always too intimate for comfort. 

It might've also been part of the reason Tony and Steve let you start drinking so early in the day…

“This. Yeah,” You finish his sentence for him, nodding a bit as you suck in a deep breath, “I was never one for the holidays.”

You shrug, turning in your barstool to face out towards the others a bit more. Though, you were still angled towards Bucky. Subconscious, you'd claim. Not purposeful.

“Mhm, couldn't have guessed,” Bucky gruffly replies, the smirk tugging on his lips was enough of a signal he felt similarly. He ran his tongue over his lower lip, chasing the lingering taste of his beer. You wished momentarily you hadn't drank so much, your reaction time of looking away before he noticed was slower.

“Not all holidays,” You quickly clarify, averting your gaze to firmly fixate on a SHIELD agent you had met once or twice. Shaun? You think his name might be Shaun… Swallowing tensely as you knew he caught you staring. It was just a moment, you ration, and nothing more.

You shrug, trying to seem as calm as he was, “I like Christmas, y'know? Snow an’ gifts an’ shit like that. Halloween is also a lot of fun… But Thanksgiving?”

The sigh that escaped your lips was more like a puff of air. Catching snippets of others' conversations. 

Oh, yes, the data we gathered… Some random agent drones on to Bruce.

Now, Pepper - love the woman - needs to let me get ten more… Tony loudly chatted up Maria Hill

Steve and Natasha were a bit more hushed with their conversation, but you heard getting better… talking… 

You roll your eyes, figuring they were talking about your lack of participation in the day's festivities. You glance to your left to catch Bucky's gaze. How long had he been looking at you? His face had softened. Everyone said he looked angry all the time, but you didn't see that. He looked tired at worst, and at best, hopeful. 

You swallow thickly, he was just looking at you because you were talking, “It's too much interaction, too many people and the food sucks.”

Bucky dramatically let his jaw drop open, as if you just disavowed the Avengers or something. His eyes sparked, the deep blue color more prominent as they widened to the size of dinner plates.

“I'm sorry?! Did you say the food sucks?” Bucky asks with a scoff. He has a wide, boyish grin on his face. A grin that you'd never think he'd bear, but it also seemed completely natural.

Bucky finally maneuvered  to sit on the stool next to you, turning his body so he was fully facing you. You couldn't help the small laugh that bubbled up at his slightly childish antics. The laugh caused a small burp to also threaten to make an entrance. You stifle it as you push your spiked drink a bit further away from you. Getting drunk on Bucky Barnes was a hundred times more powerful than whatever drink Tony could concoct for you.

“Thanksgiving quite literally has the best food!” He chirps. His eyes narrowed playfully as he crossed his arms over his chest, he was obviously not letting you get away with your crime of an opinion.

“Ugh, no it doesn't. It's all so specific, I can't get behind any of it!” You bemoan, allowing your body to turn towards him as well. Though you don't let your eyes linger on him for too long. The blush on your cheeks may be excusable by alcohol for a while, but not forever.

“Turkey,” He puffs out his chest, “quite literally a classic!” Bucky starts strongly. Quirking up an eyebrow. 

“I prefer ham, turkey is dry and not interesting. I'd rather have chicken, honestly.” You reply with a chuckle. If someone told you Bucky was being paid off by Big Turkey to promote Thanksgiving, you'd fully believe it. This man looked ready to go to hell and back to defend the holiday.

“Potatoes?” He quickly counters, leaning forward slightly.

“I can eat those whenever I'd like.” You retort just as swiftly. Though you both may be a little buzzed (you more than him), you could still hold your own when it came to quick comebacks.

“Pies?!” Bucky studies you like a colorful bird at the zoo. His hands resting on his knees as he inspects your face and words.

You laugh again, a grin now firmly planted in your face at how jokingly offended he is, “These store bought things have nothing over what I could make from scratch.” you boldly say, straightening your back and sitting taller.

You partially expected him to deny or refute your baking skills, but he only pushes forward, 

“What about cranberry sauce?” He asked with more skepticism, knowing he already went through the big three and you had already pushed them all away. 

You shoot him a flashy grin, whether you actually liked cranberry sauce or not… “Mh, well, you've got me there.”

A beat of stunned silence. 

You swore Bucky went through all of the stages of grief in that moment. 

“WHAT?!” He cried out, voice cracking slightly. He was loud enough that a few wandering eyes had been alerted to the two of you.

You couldn't help yourself from bursting into a fit of laughter. It was a laugh that made your face hurt, you didn't care that others were looking, all you cared about was the man sitting across from you.

Bucky's shock very quickly matched your laughter. He was laughing so hard that he doubled over. Clutching his stomach as he wheezed. You both must've looked ridiculous, going from the two quiet people at the bar to now the loudest two laughs. 

Bucky came up for air after a moment, quiet giggles still making his chest shake as he wiped away a small tear.

The pride in your chest swelled, you wanted nothing more than to make him laugh like this all the time. To see him smiling forever.

It took a few minutes for the two of you to calm down. Every time you made eye contact, one of you would burst into another small fit of laughter.

After you had recovered, you both fell into a comfortable silence. You were grateful he lingered, that he stayed even when the conversation seemed to have ended. He never made you feel left out, even if his inclusion was the two of you being outcasts together. He stayed by your side, a silent yet constant person in your corner.

“Well, my favorite holiday isn't Thanksgiving, either.” Bucky finally says, finishing off his beer as he stands up from his seat. He murmured something about needing to piss.

“What is it then?” You grab your own, partially forgotten, drink. The ice had melted slightly, but you didn't care.

“Christmas.” Bucky simply stated, taking a step away from the bar. You want to prod more, but you doubt he really has a sappy attachment to the holiday. Who wouldn't like free gifts and all the decorations?

“Mostly the mistletoe, though,” He adds, turning to look at you for just a moment as he winks.

You don't even have time to process what he just said, or even implied before he walked away. But, goddamn were you glad he did…

Because once Steve's eyes were on you again, you were blushing bright red and staring at your cup, smiling like a dope.

Maybe… maybe Thanksgiving wasn't such a bad holiday after all.

[pinkaditty]

i love the way you write towa 🥺 i notice a lot of people seem to struggle to write him but the way you portray him feels so true alongside just generally beautiful writing i love it 💝

vibrating with excitement THANK YOU ANON!!!!!!!!!!!! he's such a cutie i write towa with nothing but love in my heart bc he's so transparent and friendly and he will always have a special place right in my heart bc i love how he is. he's so whimsical and full of love. i can't help but adore him bc despite the horrors he's probably had 2 face, he's still kind. yk he associates u with a flower meaning "hope", "resilience", and "transformation"? i think that's beautiful, personally.

but also anon u poisoned me bro i started thinking abt towa and since im on an unhinged!char arc rn (im so sorry if u don't like unhinged towa) i present 2 u:

Flowers Can Talk, Too! (Towa Otonashi x Reader, Tokyo Debunker)

Part 1: Anthurium Andraeanum

a/n: here we are again. again and again and again i find myself here in my little chair in front of my little desk in my little room where i type up my little on my little laptop and smile at the thought of a little appreciation for my work. this has become so familiar and my heart is full of love for it. towa makes me find happiness in the small things, i think.

sorry. was that too much?

summary: towa gifts you a flower you don't quite recognize.

cw: idk if this counts as perverted or uhhhh yandere but towa's behavior will escalate after this part, so be warned. for now there's only a few sexual innuendos n stuff yea. MINORS DNI!!!!!!!

It’s not exactly Valentine’s day, but Towa gives you a gift anyway. 

When a big bouquet of charmingly mismatched flowers arrives at your door, smelling a lot like the saltwater in Jabberwock, you immediately know it’s Towa. Yellow dandelions, white baby’s breath, orange roses, and blue irises made up the small, tightly packed bouquet, tied with a pink ribbon. There was a lone red flower you didn’t recognize, with what appeared to be an unusually large stamen and one bright, sanguine petal. Initially, it almost appeared like a mixed message, but Towa’s been teaching you enough about the language of flowers and how their meanings tend to vary in context. 

You peer through the bouquet, ensuring you hadn’t missed any flowers, before gently trailing your fingers over them, labeling their meanings in your head one by one. 

Yellow dandelions for strength and transformation… Blue irises for faith and trust… Orange roses for passion and desire… and, baby’s breath for purity and everlasting love. Your heart swells as you put together the message. It was a reminder that he cared for you, and that you’d get through this. For your own sake, you ignore the romantic subtext implied by the roses and baby’s breath. You smile to yourself, and step back inside the chapel, closing the door. You wished you had a vase or something to hold these in, but maybe a bucket would have to do. 

You take one of the buckets the cats leave around for repair and fill it up with water, carefully placing the bouquet inside of it. The flowers leaned rather inelegantly, but it was good enough for now. As you study the bouquet, your eyes fixate on the red one. 

You’ve seen them before at funerals and weddings, but those were always white. This one was a vibrant red, like the blood running through your veins or the sun during a summery sunset. It stuck out like a sore thumb in comparison to the rest, so much so that you wondered if Towa made a mistake putting it in there. Despite the odd choice in color combination between the rest of the flowers, they still had some congruency, their shapes and colors complimenting one another in just the right way. This one felt like an accident or a standout. 

You reach out and pluck it from the bucket, twirling it in your hands. The red petal is shaped closely to a heart, and the stamen sticks straight up from the top end. You smile to yourself, scoffing at it. It’s almost funny, the way it sticks straight out. Maybe you’d be able to find this flower if you looked it up?

A quick web search later, and you discover its common name: Laceleaf. They were commonly associated with hospitality. You hum, looking back at the flower as you twirl it around in your hands. Was he asking you to come over to Jabberwock? To be fair, it seemed more like he meant that Jabberwock’s doors were always open, but, well, you wanted an excuse to see Towa. So, he must be asking for your company. 

One look at the sky told you it was too soon for Towa to talk to you, but you could still go and see him anyway. You hold the red flower in your hands, its stem too long to fit in any of your pockets, and begin to make the trek to Jabberwock.

Though they’re on the far side of campus, it doesn’t take too long to get there. You’ve studied the route by heart, and made enough trips there for the long trek to feel more like a brisk walk. The moment you open the door, you’re greeted by Ren, laying down in the tall grass, clearly hiding from Haru. 

He looks up from his tablet at you, nodding at you before his eyes just as quickly return to the screen. “Senpai.” He says, acknowledging your presence, but making no move to get up or even further tear his eyes away from his tablet. 

You exhale, amused, and nod back at him. “Ren.”

You do not ask him what he’s doing in the grass, and he doesn’t ask you what you’re doing at Jabberwock holding an odd-looking flower. He knows who you’re here to see, and you know who he’s here to avoid. 

You gingerly take a few steps into the dorm, closing the door behind you. As you turn your head side to side, looking for a trail of petals or a shock of silvery periwinkle hair, Ren clears his throat. “He’s by the lake.” 

You’re about to thank him sarcastically when you see hair as red as the flower you’re holding zip towards you at an alarming rate. “And he’s coming this way.”

You have barely finished your sentence when Ren jumps ten feet from the grass, attempting to run before he’s seen, but the red-headed blur veers off course before stopping suddenly, holding Ren by the collar of his uniform. 

Haru ignores Ren’s protests and cries, dragging him by the collar as he walks back to greet you. 

“Hey!” Haru nods happily at you, beaming, and Peekaboo chitters in greeting. Haru’s gaze flickers down to the flower you’re holding, and a knowing look crosses his face. “I think I saw Towa with that earlier.” He quirks an eyebrow at you. “Here to ask him what it was?”

You nod, scared that if you open your mouth you’ll laugh at the utterly defeated expression on Ren’s face. Haru points off towards the mountains,  smiling apologetically. “By the lake, as usual. If you’re going out there, remind him to actually feed the animals instead of just playing in the water, would ya?” 

You glance back at Haru, nodding. “Sure. Thanks!” You wave to him and Ren before trotting off towards the lake. 

This trek, in comparison to the one across Darkwick to get to Jabberwock, was one you hadn’t made as often, and was arguably longer, if not the same length. If ever Towa wanted to go out there, and you were with him, he’d simply scoop you up in his arms without warning and jump, leaving you to scramble to hold onto his tie or shoulders to find some semblance of grounding despite his grip being pretty firm. Despite how often it gave you near heart attacks, you couldn’t complain about it. It was nice to lean into Towa, and he always smelled of saltwater and wildflowers, with just the slightest hint of musk underneath it all. Not to mention that, if you pulled on his tie hard enough, you’d get a glimpse of the pale skin underneath his sloppy uniform, making you wonder what lay even further beneath his shirt…

When you finally shake yourself away from your less than appropriate thoughts, you see the lake just up ahead, Towa kicking his feet in the shallow water. You spot some dandelions near your feet, and pick a couple to offer to Towa. You knew he’d appreciate them regardless, even if they were freshly picked from the ground mere meters from where he was. 

You can’t ever sneak up on Towa, a fact you’ve burned into yourself. You are still, however, disappointed when he turns suddenly despite the silence of your steps in comparison to the noise of splashing water. Towa chirps excitedly when he sees you, barreling towards you and wrapping you in a hug before you could say anything. Some clouds move from the sun and it almost feels unbearably warm. You inhale as you’re huddled up in his grasp, and catch a whiff of the familiar scent of seawater and wildflowers. There was a bit more musk than usual, thanks to him being in the sun for so long. You try not to be happy about that. 

He pulls away a moment later, humming excitedly, rocking back and forth in place. You hold out the dandelions you picked, and he stares at them for a moment before bending down and chomping on them, smiling at you in thanks. You sigh and shake your head, as though you should’ve expected this, and he hums noncommittally, probably agreeing with you.

He turns towards the lake again, heading towards it and reaching behind him and grabbing onto your uniform blazer without looking, dragging you along. You follow his grasp at first before quickly realizing you still have shoes on and start pulling back. “Wait, Towa, I still have—”

He looks back at you and wordlessly points at his own shoes, discarded on the shore. You look at them, and then glance at your own shoes and thigh high socks. You hated putting these on, and you hated taking them off. You didn’t want to put them on over your wet feet, either. You pull back on Towa’s grip a bit more, and he releases you, his brows creasing downwards. He pouts at you, crossing his arms. The sun is no longer glaring in your face, and is instead hidden by a few clouds. You sigh at him, and gesture to your socks.

“Not today, Towa. Maybe another time, when I’m less dressed up?” You shrug awkwardly, giving him a pitying look. He harrumphs and pouts harder, dropping his arms and walking towards you. This time, when he picks you up, you feel inclined to panic, yelping as soon as your feet leave the ground. 

“T-Towa!” You push against his chest, wriggling to free yourself. In response, he only grips you tighter, limiting your movement. You almost give up—bracing yourself for the embrace of cold water—when you find yourself sitting on a large, dry boulder some ways into the water. You look around, finding Towa knee-deep in the water, glowering at you like he wanted an apology. You sigh with relief and shift to a comfortable position on the boulder, smiling apologetically at him.

“Sorry, Towa. I thought—” You’re rudely interrupted by Towa flicking water at you with his fingers, giggling at your change in expression. Before you can retaliate, he turns away from you, going further into the water. You still reach into the water to flick some back at him to retaliate, but it barely hits him, a few of the droplets reaching his hair and neck. He giggles again, before diving in entirely, getting his whole body wet. You can still catch sight of his pale legs kicking in the water before he swims too far for you to see. You’re only worried for a moment before the water suddenly breaks some ways away, and he rises from it, his clothes fully drenched and clinging to his body. He chirps at you again, happily trotting towards you, as something pink and glowing follows him in the water. It dances around his legs, weaving between them. Towa excitedly gestures at it, and it bobs above the water to greet you in a high-pitched trill before diving under again, swimming around Towa’s legs. It almost looked like a plastic glow-in-the-dark fish. The scales didn’t even look real. 

You watch as Towa dances around the anomalous fish, giggling and exclaiming with every move he made. You don’t have the heart to interrupt his happiness with any attempt at discussion, so you remain on the boulder, watching with an idle smile on your face. You glance down at the laceleaf you held, smoothing out its lone petal, before looking back up at Towa. Eventually, you’d have to remind him to actually feed the animals. 

It’s sunset now. After some time, you’d managed to convince Towa to stop playing with the plastic-looking anomalous fish and to feed the animals, lest Haru lose any more sleep. You were a bit wet, thanks to Towa being soaked, but you were at least safe on dry land again. You quickly move away as Towa shakes himself free of excess water, some of it still clinging to his hair and face. He smiles at you, holding out his hand for you to take, inviting you to walk back to the Jabberwock dorm. You smile back and take his hand, following his lead. 

You look up and notice that the sky is darkening quickly. Towa should start speaking soon. 

“Dandelion.” 

Speak of the devil. 

You turn towards Towa, smiling at him. He’s peering at you from the corner of his eye, his gaze flickering between you and the laceleaf you held. “Why’d you bring that here?”

You hold it up, turning towards him questioningly. “To ask you what this flower means.” You turn your gaze back to the flower, twirling it in your hand again. “I know it means ‘hospitality’, but not much else…” You trail off, surprisingly mesmerized by the shine of the red petal as it spins. 

Towa giggles, stopping his pace and standing next to you. He gently plucks the flower from your grasp, holding it up against the quickly dimming sunset, twirling it like you did. “This flower is called an Anthurium Andraeanum,” he says, with what you can only assume is perfect pronunciation. “It’s red, so it’s got a different meaning from the white ones you usually see.”

Finally, you were getting somewhere. “And what might that be?” You sidle closer to him, looking up at him as he looks at the flower, still twirling it as it catches the final minutes of light. 

“It can mean love, romance, sensuality, or abundance.” You don’t miss how Towa’s smile widens slightly as he says ‘romance’. You have to admit that you’re hardly paying attention, though. Your gaze is more interested in trying to look anywhere that wasn’t Towa's shirt clinging to his hardened nipples. Towa finally drops his arm, bringing the flower close to his face. After gazing at it a while, he finally turns back to you. “But, I didn’t add this one for the meaning, Dandelion.” His voice drops a few notes, and you tilt your head, confused at his tone and at his intentions. 

“Then…” You trail off for a moment, before gesturing at the flower. “Why did you add it to the bouquet? It kinda stuck out like a sore thumb.” You can’t hide your confusion, blinking up at him. If the meaning didn’t matter, then what was it there for?

“I added it for its name.” He brandishes the flower towards you, his smile widening and his eyes narrowing with mirth. “Do you know what this flower is called, Dandelion?”

You tilt your head, studying the flower. “Laceleaf?” You say, almost uncertainly. It was called laceleaf, but why did you have a feeling that wasn’t the answer Towa was looking for?

Your hunch was right, as Towa laughs and shakes his head. He holds the flower close to his body again, and steps closer to you, leaving just enough room for the petal of the laceleaf to span between you. “No~. These are called something different here.” He holds the flower in front of your face, close enough for you to examine it. “What does it remind you of?”

You pause a minute, before looking at the heart-shaped petal. “A heart?”

Towa chuckles and shakes his head again. “Pfft, no, no!” He holds it horizontally, and wiggles it so the stamen-looking part dangles up and down. “Here, maybe this will jog your memory.”

You watch it as it dangles, unimpressed. “Towa…” You start, frowning. Your nose wrinkles. “...Is this supposed to be a dick joke?”

To your surprise, Towa shrugs instead of laughs. “Sorta.” He holds it vertically again, twirling it with both hands. He looks up at you and leans in until his lips are right by your ear. “This flower is also known as a Naughty Boy Flower, Dandelion!”

He sounded all too excited to share that news with you, but you can hardly focus on that with his hair dripping cold water onto your cheeks and his warm breath circling your ear. You only realize you’d stiffened when he pulls away, and you relax, shivering slightly. “It reminds me of you when I look at it. That’s why I put it in there.” Towa is all smiles again, but you’re having trouble coming up with why the flower would remind him of you. 

You look back down at the flower as he twirls it, the look in his eyes getting darker by the second. “How does that flower remind you of me?” You ask slowly, pointing at it and trying not to state the obvious.

He smiles wider. “That’s because you get me all stiff, like this flower!” As he says this, he flicks the flower, making it wobble a bit in his grasp. "You make me a Naughty Boy, Dandelion."

You have to blink a few times to reorient yourself. It feels like you were just struck with lightning and revived in a split second. You look up at him, still blinking rapidly, before turning your gaze to the flower again. You barely register the genuine openness of his face, but reject it anyway. He couldn’t possibly have meant that, and not in that way. 

“Um…” You start, looking at the flower again, searching for answers as though the truth wasn’t something you craved. “What do you—”

Towa steps closer, interrupting you. Your chests are almost pressed together, and he looks down at you, the water from his hair dripping onto your face and uniform. “I think you know what I meant, Dandelion.” His voice is in a low whisper, and his eyes catch yours.

Desperate to look anywhere but Towa’s face, you look down at his nipples, still showing through his shirt. You bite your tongue and look to the side instead. If what he said was true, looking down might actually kill you. 

“Dandelion.” Towa says your nickname so gently, you can’t not at least turn to him. So you do, albeit reluctantly, glance at him questioningly. When he doesn’t budge, you uncomfortably force yourself to look at him head on, biting your lip. 

You feel the tip of something poking into your lip, and look down to see the flower. Towa presses it into the plush of your lips before pulling back, and pressing it into your lips again. You remain still, your gaze flickering between the tip of the stamen poking your lips and Towa’s gaze, locked onto your lips. He taps your lips one more time with the stamen before he holds it there, slightly pressed into them. He leans forward further, and you feel his heavy breathing caress your face. His forehead knocks into yours, and he stays there, keeping the rest of your bodies only so far from each other. 

His eyes glaze over in the dim light of the day, the sun just barely peeking over the horizon. “Dandelion?” He asks, his hazy gaze still focused on your lips. 

“Yeah?” You answer hesitantly, trying not to let the nerves you were feeling show in your voice. 

You watch as Towa’s pink lips part in a sigh, and his tongue runs over them before he finally says, “If I tapped something a little bigger on your lips, do you think you’d open wide for me?"

AND WE'RE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!! if i told u i wrote this in one setting would u believe me? bc i did it's true. i sat at my laptop and wrote this in 3 hours with little breaks in between 2 have the accursed Visions™ of what my writing would entail.

anyways. i love u guys, thank u 4 loving my writing. ofc as per usual shameless bit that I LOVE when you tell me how much you liked my writing!!!!!!! i love likes, but especially comments, asks, and tagged reblogs detailing how much you love my work! please don't be shy!

ok i was technically supposed 2 be in bed like. an hour ago LOOOOL gn everybody ily

songs i listened 2 while writing this:

roses - the chainsmokers, rozes (craving, yearning, reminiscing on times we knew, rebuilding love)

weak - ajr (falling for the same thing over again)

where would we be - nicky romero, rozes (reminiscing on the best and worst nights of your life, when you were in love)

taglist: @cupcakesmoothie @aayakashii @sunskosh @despairingy-obsessed @glamorousspoon @mmy-meow @dailyvahine @diluxama @obscuarysghoulnextdoor

want 2 (join/be removed from) the tkdb taglist? let me know!

[cirqosmos]

Did I, A Side Character Became the Male Lead's Wife?!

2023 | 13+ | ONESHOT | YANG JUNGWON × READER | -> PART 2

SUMMARY you — a side character in a royal novel doing absolutely nothing but enjoy your rich ass yet boring life, only watching over the female lead and doing your job in protecting her, only for a pair of kittenish eyes to fall not upon the female lead but on you, unfortunately.

AUTHOR'S NOTE not me writing a whole ass oneshot at 5am bcs of that sweet ask from that one anon, imma name u serotonin dopamine anon lmao- and jungwon bae u r truly my muse.. also inspired by sum manhwas cuz I binge read 90+ chapters in less than a day 💀💀💀 plus happy 900+ followers for me <333 mom wake up I'm famous even tho I'll never let u know what my secret writing blog is about 😊😊

a side character, how cute?

well, you only came to know of this very horrible (not really) fact that you're nothing close to a main character's vibes cause look at you babe, where's the sparkling shiny starry dust on you as you walked through the red carpet at the ball?

and did they even spare a glance at you? unfortunately, nope. because the female lead, Liz; was your enemy, at least in how your character was written in the novel by the goddamn author which was you.

yes, that's right!

you, a hella introverted author dwelling in the deepest corner of her room doing nothing but spent an ungodly amount of hours creating the perfect and enchanting characters after crying for major character death of a fic a few years ago. wiping your dripping tears off your cheeks in a comical way as you pull open your laptop and risk your 20/20 vision for life, just so you can reverse the aching pain in your chest that you wore a thick ass glasses now.

Liz, the female lead. Swooning over her was your religion, throwing not one but a ten whole buckets explaining how perfect she was—or how tremendously kind she was, delicate and utterly sweet. patting yourself on the back for creating such a goddess of a character, so it's only wise for you to give her a fitting male lead, right? Okay we'll talk about that later since it's about you right now.

So how did you end up in your novel? Well, because of one fateful day of you doing absolutely nothing but taking a goddamn rest, and whoever the god in heaven that just randomly decided to throw you in the novel you wrote yourself—must be utterly insane. Perfect indeed!

it took you a humongous realisation to see yourself in a dark green puffy dress that represents jealousy, envy, and betrayal—which also represents the side character standing behind the female lead on the thick cover of your book. you've originally written her as that wicked best friend that uses her seductive way of speech to seduce men, and at last turning her back at the female lead by accusing her of a horrendous crime.

her fatal fate consists of her head being snapped by the guillotine, unfortunately. but for you, not really, cause you are so in for destroying wicked characters but jokes on you—you're now in the body of that character.

pfft, can't the gods put you in a character that lives near the sea, with your straw hat on and as you drank your lemon juice away from the public drama, angsty dialogues, cringe moments you yourself have created because you don't have atleast an ounce of social skills that's why you pour it all on your characters.

"oh my apologies, milady— pfft—" three ladies sticking with each other like a super glue, had thrown the glass of wine on the female lead's gown—earning a series of gasps from everyone who saw but you were sure won't pay an ounce of consideration towards her as you had written almost everyone in this novel as "the world against the weak, fragile character."

oh, right. the hyena laughters of those you describe in episode 3 of "the flashy ball"; the three evil sisters, because why not? they added the extra spices in your tongue to the point you couldn't wait for them to get slap by the female lead or possibly someone.

ah, the tremendous satisfaction.

and you were one of that person whose hands itching to smash their skull apart, you cringed enormously at them as they were the ones that brought total trouble wherever they went or whoever are unlucky enough to get in their way. unfortunately, you seal your female lead's fate with them as she need some little obstacles, doesn't she?

you as hell were not sure what you're supposed to do, whether to just let things happen as the story goes or you do the male lead's job in protecting the female lead cause you have no idea why is he taking such a long time to appear, when he should've made his grand entrance at the freaking introduction?

and you wrote it that way cause you got fed up with male leads making their first appearance at the ball, and somehow quickly gaining the female lead's heart like Cinderella cause dear lord where's the slow burn?

just say, you're a conservative grandma type of a mindset or that you are skeptical over love at first sight. yep, you're right. that's why you ain't gonna let your precious female lead get bullied in front of your very eyes. she's like your granddaughter right now, seriously.

a shriek echoed through the entire ball, gaining everyone's attention. "oh my god! my dress! you— lady Liz! who did you even brought with you?!"

oh right, you forgot it's your first time at the ball either. "my apologies, milady. it's just that i saw a bunch of hyenas roaming around.." you rubbed the back of your neck.

"hyenas?! guards—"

"chill, what's the commotion here?" a bright dashing blonde haired man in a red royal suit came around, with sets of stars dusting upon his form which you already realise to be part of the main characters but unfortunately you forgot. you ain't having that extra superhuman memory just because you are an author.

the bunch of hyenas before you reasoned with the prince, but you slowly realise that the prince was none other than Prince Jake. Inspired by that one puppy image idol from fourth generation of kpop, you were apparently slurping your noodles in the local restaurant when you watched him imitating a dog from the tv, causing you to choke on your noodles.

it's safe to say, he's hot enough that he had to be part of your main characters. aah, that signature dashing smile of his as he defended the female lead with his wisely chosen string of words which immediately melted everyone's heart at sight.

times like this you wish you were actually the female lead, but the logical side of you beg to differ; you are not emotionally capable of spewing cringy romantic words for that's only reserved for writing. So thank you, i'll pass.

Surely, Prince Jake ain't the male lead for your precious female lead but you just let them converse with each other despite her with her absolute kindness, urging you to talk with them too, atleast a word. it sort of felt for a moment like she was trying to match you with the prince.

like no please, you'd rather not to. hot guys are hot, but they're not worth the emotional investment past the fangirling section.

plus the prince doesn't seem interested you as he doesn't spare not even one look at you which obviously you couldn't care any less, you sneakily went out the ball after a series of mishaps—for example your heavy puffy ass gown with its sole purpose to only look pretty but the reality ain't that pretty to say the least, panting like a dog as you took each step towards the entrance all while cussing yourself for ignoring your logical part of brain that you shouldn't have been adding humongous useless words to describe the gown just to make it sound extremely pleasing to the readers.

now you're the one to bear the consequences of your own writing, the fuck.

"one! two!—" a long, long, depressing sigh echoes. "three! ah!—" consequently falling upon your face, what a perfect day indeed. you just wanted to go home, tuck yourself in your comforting blanket, eat your hot cup of ramen or indulge yourself in the sea of chocolate while daydreaming of your favourite idols and fictional characters.

not this awful disaster of you getting tangled in the courts' affairs.

"i suppose, you need help, milady?"

oh no, certainly not. don't call me milady, pretend i do not exist for i certainly do not have the social skills to pretend that i like you, or form a decent conversation especially with men.

"milady?"

you curled yourself, burying your head into the comfort of your gowns. wondering quite a bit of how odd you look in the middle of the hallway.

"milady?" his voice-like whisper came closer, obviously standing beside you right now. "are you okay?"

fuck it. "please, i beg of you to kindly leave me alone as my day has been utterly ruined and—" oh wait, he seems oddly familiar. those lush fluffy hair and kittenish orbs that only softens among those he were close enough.

prince jungwon.

oh! the male lead, oh my god! your jaw hang so low it fell on the ground, your eyes sparkled in dozens of star like universe as you took in his marvelous beauty that you had spent creating meticulously after studying all the '101 rules of how to create the perfect male lead that had the readers heart evaporating & a huge ass green forest that certainly would cause blazing flames'.

"oh my god! you look absolutely gorgeous, i've done it really well didn't i?! oh my god!"

"o-oh—! absolutely, you did well!" he immediately replied back, pressing his lips tight nervously.

wait what? what did he say? oh shit, oh well, covering your mouth instantly as you accidentally let it out before the prince, your precious male lead that you solely created for the female lead. "i—.."

the prince, your very precious character—obviously taken aback with a slight blush dusting of his adorable cheeks as he raise his fist up to his lips, coughing a couple of seconds. a personality trait you very well are familiar of cause that's how you wrote him when he fall in love with the female lead.

your eyes ogled out at that familiar sight, screaming at the back of your mind—wait, wait! you're not supposed to fall in love with me, you idiot! go back! go inside the ball, she's inside there!

"that's oddly brave of you, milady. i'd certainly go as far as to say that i've never seen such traits from a lady." kitten eyes softening at you, crouching down as he lend both of his hands for you. you raised your eyebrow confusingly at what is he trying to pull at but you realise he was intending to get you up.

"u-uhm? uh, sorry. i could get up on my own, actually." yeah, that's what you did. pushing yourself back up despite his protests because you ain't gonna let him fall any further for you, nah uh, not in this life, your mission is to get him and your female lead together inside the frames of birds holding flower wreaths as they went on to their happily ever after.

not with you!

"may i have the honour to know your name, though, milady?" why the fuck isn't he leaving, what is there so interesting in you that he is still standing here asking you such generic questions.

you shouldn't be having the characters attention on you as you obviously wrote it that way, and that even though your character in the novel had tried to get the prince's heart, despite resorting to foul actions, that he never truly had been attracted to her despite this characters' seductive aura.

for you squealed so loud at the scene you wrote, with jungwon putting her in her place. "you are not her, and you would never be her." along with the bunch of your readers hosting a flamboyant celebration under the comments, screaming over how loyal he was.

so what in the actual fuck is this?

"you don't need my name." you nonchalantly answered.

"my apologies?"

"you see, my best friend is in the ball—" you gestured your hands to the entrance of the ballroom, "and she needs your help more than i do."

"wait? why would she need my help?" his eyebrows knitted together in utter confusion as you pushed him through his back.

"of course, she do! don't ask anything!"

"wait!— my name is!" he forcefully turn to face you again, but you immediately covered his mouth with your hands—kabedonning him against the wall.

an excruciating silence occured between you two in the silent hallway, Jungwon freezing to his core when your other hand shoot beside his head.

"listen i don't need your name, dear sir." you emphasise each word, you certainly don't need to know his name nor his status as a prince, not wanting to risk any possible connection with him judging by how he acted before you just now.

"b-but!" his words were muffled into the void as you cupped his mouth tighter.

"shh, shh. stop talking and listen, will you?!"

jungwon nodded slowly, what an odd situation he was in right now, he thought. but somehow he likes it.

"so first step, is go inside the ballroom. second, look for the lady in pink gown, and third—"

"t-third?"

"third is tell her your name! my best friend needs it more than i do!" you release him from your grasp as you went to swing open the huge double door, "now go!" waving a goodbye before kicking his body through the entrance, pulling the door back with your entire strength despite his protests.

oh of course, you finally let out a gag after suppressing it in front of him the entire time as you've never had a proper conversation with a male without stuttering, somewhat a sad tragedy for you, unfortunately. you felt quite guilty about your readers who swoon over the romances you wrote between your leads, weeping over how you're so good at it—not knowing you're a complete introvert with only a gigantic ass dictionary with you.

finally, the male lead and female lead's romances are about to start! you squealed with your hands clasping as you went on your way to the carriage, gesturing for the rider to embark on the way to your heavenly puffy manor with the widest big grin ever that it had him questioning you, "has any gentleman had caught your heart, milady? a couple of hours ago, you were often beyond distraught to attend the ball but insisted when you heard Lady Liz was going."

"oh, you silly." you giggled as you swayed your hand, "of course, that's one of the reasons. but there's another one.."

"may i ask what is it, then?"

you leaned in closer, urging him to get closer as you whispered. "i got the chance to become a Cupid!"

"a Cupid?" you squealed before the old man, hopping like a child for quite awhile before flying into the carriage much to his surprise, but only shook his head in amusement—appalled by how his mistress had changed so much.

"so?" you couldn't help yourself from pulling out the widest eccentric grin at the female lead, extremely curious and ecstatic over what romances had bloom between her and Jungwon.

Liz raises her eyebrow in confusion, "so?.. what do you mean, milady?"

you shrugged, falling back to your seat as you raise your eyebrow in a comical way, "that.." whispering ever so seductively, "prince."

"p-prince?

"yes!" the teacup rattles at your excitement oozing so much that you tapped the table a couple of times. "what happen? what's the tea~"

she lets out a soft giggle, a bit amused by your excitement. "i have no idea what you're trying to imply, milady."

"wait? what are you saying? didn't the prince went to you last night?"

Liz shook her head slowly, her expressions clearly stating that she absolutely don't know what and who you were talking about as a smile pulled up on her lips once again, taking a few sip from her teacup.

veins popped out from your neck as it dawned on you, your head snapped towards the castle on top of the mountain, you stupid of a prince! you cussed at him endlessly at the back of your mind, tightening your fist as your ears and nose fuming in anger. how dare he? he didn't listen to you at all? what in the actual fuck? would this somehow divert the original route? a dozen question arise into your mind one after another, causing you to let out an exaggerated sigh.

facepalming yourself as you imagined the imaginary heavenly light on top of you, weeping to yourself about how tremendously unlucky you are to have a hard headed male lead. it's impossible, you have never added a trait so irritating like this in his profile so how could this happen?

"milady?" the gentle voice of your precious female lead pulled you out of your inner desperation, you leaned in closer, whining so much over how unlucky you were and such, the rest only being in your mind as you pouted.

"ah, i remember now, the prince—"

"WHAT?—" you immediately seated yourself after giving her a potential heart attack, "my apologies, what did you actually.. remember?"

"i assume you were talking about the prince from yesterday? prince jake?"

"no not that bitch— oh certainly not him, ehem.." you took a couple of exaggerated coughs, avoiding her evident confusion. "isn't there a prince.. name jungwon with you that night?"

"oh my goodness! right! prince jungwon!" she shook her head in disbelief with her finger on her head.

right, how did you even forgot that the female lead in front of you had a "weak ass memory" in her profile description. tsk tsk, truly a forgetful author you are. you should be trying your best to remember the things you wrote before and revise it as best as you can, to avoid any possible problems in the future, atleast.

"right, how did i even forget, the prince asked me for your name, milady—"

"huh?" you look at her with confusion, as you were out of reality a couple of seconds ago. your orbs terribly widened as her words slowly sinking in to your brain. "HUH?"

ask your name?! why your name, why not hers?! what did the prince ate that night before stumbling onto your way that he had to ask for your name before the female lead—his own lover?!

laughing awkwardly, you raise your leg on top of another as you nervously swayed your hands repeatedly. "oh dear, oh dear. you might have heard it wrong, the prince?—" snorting outloud as you gestured to yourself, "asking for my name? what a funny news!"

"i didn't, milady. the prince came to me and asked me for your name, as he was immensely curious of who you are so i—"

"so what?—" you can't believe this, you really can't bring yourself to believe any words she was uttering. you should have been bestowed by the news that the prince had taken an interest in her, a hand in marriage, or anything, anything as long as you're out of the picture! "y-you didn't tell him my name, d-didn't you?"

"of course, i did!" exclaimed she did with the widest grin ever.

why are you so freaking happy over this?! clasping your head in your hands as you tragically fall on your knees causing the lady to gasp in shock, ushering to your side to get you up.

"milady?! what's wrong?"

"d-dear," you pouted as you look up to her, "you didn't tell him where my manor's at, r-right?"

she simply replied, "i did? the prince informed me that he's going to send a letter for you to be his partner to the ball."

an imaginary arrow struck back to your heart, forming a humongous hole that threatens to give you a panic attack. what? what in the actual fuck? did you accidentally did something to divert the original story you yourself created? but you didn't even do anything! you tried to do your best to keep the interaction with him as short as possible and he dared to take an interest in you?!

"milady, a letter from the royal palace had arrived for you."

"discard it. throw it. keep it away from my sight."

"milady?!" Liz and the head of the maid exclaimed in utter shock at your nonchalant answer.

"forget about it, forget about it." you clasped your forehead in utter disappointment, yet your brain were creating another plan b for this unexpected turn of events. what should you do? even more so, what would you do now that the prince had asked for you to be by his side to the ballroom?

this won't do, you won't let this happen—you had to look as unattractive and ugly as possible for him to cringe on and finally divert his attention back to the rightfully person who deserved it; the female lead.

your maids could only fall apart every single time you pluck out the enchanting gems they attached on your hair, ears and wrists. their efforts deemed futile as always as you had no mood for any sort of events, it was like a slap to their face as you initially weren't like this. you overheard them that they couldn't get used to how you were adamant in staying behind the spotlight as you often did your very best in dressing yourself up before, with the sole intention of gaining the favour of men and even more better, a prince.

of course, they are totally oblivious to your real identity. only a series of jaw gaping one after another with your change of character, at first—you had a dilemma over whether you should act like the character you created but you later scrap the idea as soon as the anxiety of being engulfed in the crowd suffocated your chest. opting to avoid as many as balls or public events as possible, but that obviously didn't work out that well since you heard of the female lead's arrival from the country side—just like you intended it to be.

and being the proud mother (writer) you are, of course why wouldn't you take one single look at her and see of how far she had came? but alas, one interaction leads to another one and so on—till finally, you became her best friend throughout her entire journey. waiting for the male lead's arrival, and watch their romances blooming and per se—but oh well, look at the situation you were in right now; total disaster.

you truly despise being in such an extravagant puffy gown and the numerous accessories hugging your skin, it's tremendously uncomfortable that you wanted to rip it off part in front of the prince standing before you right now, and right here.

asking for your hand to dance with that odd kittenish smile, that you swore you had never ever written in his personality profile; he should never have been this casual and chill over a person he had just met. he should've been cold as fuck, icy to touch, and a spiralling disaster if you dare to talk to him, so why?

plus how could he have taken an interest in you? you couldn't possibly have added a dose of the love at first sight trope, didn't you? you despised that trope to your very core.

"milady? may i?" he extended his hand before you, patiently waiting for your answer.

you had decided that you're going to reject him quick and efficient—just like the local fast food restaurant your mouth kept drooling over for, smashing a five star review for their inhuman speedy delivery.

"you see, prince jungwon. i have no desire to have a connection with you, a relationship, as a matter of fact."

he raised his eyebrow, seemingly unfazed by your bold words. "i'm curious milady, why so? have i done something that perhaps had annoyed you?"

cliché question, you loathe that. "what if i said you did?"

"then tell me, milady. i'll try my hardest to own up to you—" he took a steps forward, which causes you to immediately step back as well with a frown on your face. you can't, not in this life, to even give him a single chance to get close to you. nah uh.

"no need, and stay one meter apart, please." you pointed your index finger towards the floor and he hesitated, but complied immediately.

"i." you raise your index finger back to yourself and then at him, "don't like you. do you understand?"

"b-but?"

"stop questioning me, prince jungwon." you stayed firm in your spot, "i believe it's a common decency to step back when a lady had voiced out her opinion, a prince like you certainly would understand, am i right?"

Jungwon was clearly taken aback, the fact that you didn't give him a single chance to utter a word nor take a step closer was a hard punch to his face. It feels as if he was trying to reach for you, but you efficiently dodged it with ease. It kind of.. annoys him.

"base on how you didn't say anything anymore, i assumed we're done here! well then, goodbye prince jungwon." you turned your heels towards the entrance, not bothering to waste any time at this goddamn ball. "i hope this will be the very last." you scoffed inside your mind, eager for the story to return to it's original route, and that the prince would soon deem you useless and such—returning to the female lead's arms.

hm, now where's your precious female lead? she should've appeared right now and right here, strike the pot while it's hot!

"i'm afraid i can't back down that easily, milady." jungwon took a few steps forward, wrapping his hand round your wrist as he spun you around to face his eyes filled with blazing determination. one that you specifically added on top of his profile so that your readers would kept it in mind.

your breath hitched down your throat as you remembered there's only two reasons he could have this; one that reminds you when he was at war, shouting at the top of his voice to encourage his soldiers as they push through the enemies, and another reason of it appearing is when he have to get what he wanted, or else all hell will break loose, chaos will ensue.

right, you're truly an idiot. staying a few years in this novel without any memories, and only for it to surface back when you stumble upon the library—dozens of books flickering a series of eccentric images in your mind. It had cause you to lose all memories of important details, only emerging everytime you are presented with a situation you couldn't comprehend. such as when you forgot that the female lead had memory problems and such.

"i'll only present this choices to you, milady. since you tremendously intrigued me over how well spoken you were and fascinating indeed—" bitch, you don't even know how you had the sudden ability to confront him but you were just sure as hell that you don't want to ruin your own novel. no fucking way.

you can't let him have the upper hand on you.

"let me go." irritated to your core, you tried untangle Jungwon's tight grasp on your wrist but he won't budge even an inch which only had you fuming in anger. "i said let me go, bitch!"

the crowd emits a series of gasps and murmurs as you spun around—twisting the prince's arms which had him yelping in pain, and ultimately pinning him onto the ground. with rage consuming you that nothing was going in your way, you slammed your hands on the both side of his head. clenching your jaw and gritting your teeth as you emphasised each word. "you are one a dumb hell of a bitch, when i said i do not want to see you anymore. i mean it. so—"

"so what?" his smug look resurfaces, one that emerges whenever he was being challenged. yes, do that! he should despise you, not take an interest in you! he should loathe you so much that he can't even gaze at you for a second. excitement surged through your veins as you open your mouth, preparing for the last blow.

"so, get lost. just because you're a prince doesn't mean every girl would fall for you, idiot."

an even more louder gasp emits from the crowd as they clearly heard what you said, their jaw gaping and some covering their mouths with their hands as their mind are now bombarded with random questions over how exceedingly brave you are to insult the royal prince, and of what fate will you met now that you've done such an atrocious act.

a low giggle sent shivers down your spine, and goosebumps to riled over your neck as you realise the prince under you had the widest smirk on his face. you frowned deeply, he shouldn't be smirking! he should be fuming in anger and throwing you out of the palace at this moment. so why?!...

"oh milady, how truly fascinating you are." you let out a loud yelp when he grabbed both of your wrists, pulling you closer to his face—a dangerous close proximity against his fluttering eyelashes and lips that your breath caught up in your throat which causes your cheeks to heated up in embarrassment of what kind of position you two were in right now. "i like you, you would certainly be a perfect fit to be by my side."

"what?!" you exclaimed, jaws dropping and eyes about to pop out at his very words. "i don't want to be by your side—"

"a lady like you, i'm afraid to say, intrigues me very much..." Jungwon shots a kittenish wink right through your heart. "be my wife, milady. i'll show you how good I can be for you."

「 © talesofyuan on tumblr 2023 」 all rights reserved. do not copy or post without permission.

[buckevantommy]

alternate 8x06 where Buck doesn't race ahead:

They go to the movie. They share popcorn and hold hands and Buck watches a captivated Tommy more than the screen. He's thinking about date nights where they don't have to worry about two cars or parking. He's thinking about going to sleep next to Tommy and waking up beside him instead of one of them rushing back to their place for clothes or bc they have a shift soon. He's thinking about the drawer he gave Tommy turning into half a closet and all of Tommy's things in his space becoming their space..

..and then he remembers: Tommy has a garage with a carlift and engine parts and a muay thai setup. Tommy has furniture. Tommy has a yard and a garden and trees. Tommy has a house.

Buck turns his attention back to the movie. Now he's thinking about the illogical nature of asking Tommy to move into the loft: it's not fair to Tommy and also it's not the best idea. He doesn't know what the best idea is, yet, and maybe he won't know until he talks to Tommy.

Because that's where he went wrong in the past: moving in with girlfriends without actually talking about it first, it just sort of happened or was expected. and they all left him. He doesn't want Tommy to leave him. They've been together six months and haven't talked about the future. Buck is thinking about the future now so he needs to talk to Tommy - see where he's at and how he feels.

Back at the loft after the movie, in Buck's bed after sex, Tommy can sense Buck's restless mind. He checks in, because he always does, and Buck hesitates. Then asks: "Do you ever think about the future?"

And Tommy says sure, so Buck presses for details, curious, and then it's Tommy's turn to hesitate. But he mentions some stuff about work - flying certain crafts, heading up a training program, a few bucket list items, but all in all just keep doing a job he loves and keep renovating his little house or maybe there's a little holiday cabin that needs some work.

Nothing about Buck. Nothing about a partner or a family. Buck's heart does something funny in his chest, something uncomfortable, and his nerves kick in properly.

"What about you?" Tommy asks, and Buck swears he tenses under him.

"Captaincy, one day, I hope. I travelled a lot in my youth so I don't really have the bug for that anymore, but I was alone then. I think I'd wanna go places if I wasn't alone. And I don't wanna live here forever, obviously." He means the loft, but he's not closed off to the idea of living outside LA. And since he has no self preservation, he adds: "And.. you." He doesn't say mention getting married or being a father, because that feels like too much all at once.

His nerves are having a field day as Tommy remains quiet.

Buck leans up, terrified and desperate to see Tommy's face. "Do you.. see me in your future?"

They're naked and pressed together under the tangled sheets. Tommy's hand has stilled where it was tracing soothing patterns on Buck's arm. It isn't right. The air feels charged in a bad way, like waiting for lightning to strike.

"Evan.."

"I love you." He doesn't want to say it like this, not for the first time, but it suddenly feels urgent, like tommy has to know right now and maybe it'll change the way he just said his name - like an apology, like a regret.

"You don't love me. You love the idea of me."

And that- that's not true. And it hurts. And Tommy's face has fallen. "No, I-"

Tommy sits up, dislodging Buck, and swings his legs over the side of the bed.

"Wait- where are you going?" Tommy's gathering his things. He's getting dressed. Anxiety and dread swirl in the pit of Buck's stomach.

"I'm going home."

Home. It hurts to hear. "You don't have to leave-" Buck knows he's pleading, he doesn't care. He scrambles off the bed, tugging on his boxers as Tommy reaches for his shirt.

"I think it's for the best."

"No, it's not- we can talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

Buck stills. Tommy's holding his jacket, standing at the top of the stairs, trying to school his features to hide his emotions. He does that. He hides things. "What's happening right now?"

For a brief moment, tommy lets devastation show on his face, before it's tucked away behind a mask.

"I thought.." He doesn't know what he thought. He'd hoped Tommy felt the same, that they were on the same page. Six months in and he can already picture a life with Tommy.

"I'm sorry."

Sorry you thought this was more than what it was. Buck feels sick. His heart is stuttering. "Tommy-"

"Goodnight, Evan."

It feels like Goodbye, and Buck can't find the words to make Tommy stay before he's disappearing down the stairs and the loft door is closing behind him.

Sometimes lightning strikes the same place twice. Maybe it's connected to the string of bad luck that's followed him his whole life. Maybe he's jinxed, or cursed. Or maybe it's his own fault, his choices acting as a conductor for the kind of carnage most people only experience once.

[semperamans]

hi!! ur lil blurbs abt benny are sooo cute its sickening!! so i wanted jump on the train and send in a benny request!! ok although benny isnt loudest of the club and kinda keeps to himself, i think it makes him super observant and aware of wants going on around him

so imagine his girl is kinda clumsy and doesn’t pay as much attention to her surroundings compared to benny, or in a deep convo with friends she made in the club (bc we know she’s a YAPPER) but benny is always running around so she won’t accidentally hurt herself on a table corner or place her hand down on some broken glass OR protect her when he sees something fishy and needs to act fast

basically “baby proofying” things so he can keep her safe😣😣 and maybe his girl catches up on it at some point and tries to “get hurt” but he’s alr a step ahead bc he loves her BAD:((

love ur page and so exited to read more!! also love the gracie pfp its so cute:))

hi bby! :’) thank you so much for your cutie words <3 you’re a doll, i mean it!

this!!! is!!! so!!! cute!!!

you ARE benny’s baby so of course he’s going to go above and beyond to protect u :( he notices you’re always hitting your damn hip on the sharp corner of the bar, so one day he comes in with sandpaper and a bucket of paint that hasn’t been cracked open since before either of you were born. “benny, the fuck are you doin’?” “nothin’” bc it really is nothing to him. it’s just second nature. it hurts you, so he’s going to take care of it. so he sands the point down to a dull curve, slaps a coat of paint on it, and viola, the only hip bruises you’ll have are the ones he puts there.

“y'ever notice how benny doesn’t let you out of his sight?” you’re so drunk you can’t remember the name of the girl to your left. is it wanda? wilhelmina? whatever it is it’s pretty and you feel awful that it’s slipped your mind, but she’s a new hang-around (totally besotted by cal). “i mean it,” she says, stubbing out her cigarette and pointing to you. “that man looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky.” sure enough you make eye contact with benny the moment you lift that pretty little chin. he blinks slowly, almost cat-like, before an easy smile spreads over his pink lips. pretty. he's so pretty and you've just gotta tell him. unsteady on a good day, you're an accident waiting to happen when you're tipsy and benny knows. suddenly the smell of his aftershave flurries around you and he's there. you could have sworn he was just at the pool table but now he's at your side, taking your elbow gently in his large hand, brushing the hair from your sweaty cheeks with the other. "benny," you hum, nuzzling into his palm and jesus christ, it only fuels that protective fire even more. "wanted to tell you a secret." "oh, yeah?" he's still holding onto you but bends where you can press your lips against his ear with ease "tell me." and so you do, over and over in one cherry-wine scented murmur. "think you're so pretty, benny so so so pretty. jus' wanted you to know that i like when y'take care of me when I'm a little drunk and just always. y'just mean so much to me so so so much. thank you." you're pawing at his shirt, practically preening in his ear and yeah, he's going to take care of you in some other ways tonight but for now he just takes your chin between his thumb and index fingers, plants a fat kiss on your forehead, and smiles down at your flushed face. "you don't gotta thank me, baby. c'mon. how 'bout some water?"

[monstersflashlight]

yes, monsters, buuuttt....long distance monster boyfriend. long distance monster boyfriend who gets all excited to see your name in his notifications. ld!monster boyfriend who can't help but get all giddy at the mention or reminder of your name. ld!monster boyfriend who at the slightest hint of something sexual, will take the smallest crumb of you and cum buckets. whether it's a simple picture of you smiling, even better a spicy pic you sent him, or even just a good morning text/voice note. ld!monster boyfriend who when he finally gets to meet you in person and you look into his eyes with your pretty/handsome ones, he quickly takes you over to the nearest secluded area and absolutely 𝙗𝙚𝙜𝙨 to feel your touch, something as simple as fucking your thighs, and prepare to be carried around with a belly bump of cum and numb legsif you let him slip inside, not to mention the several other rounds to come when someone puts the idea of getting you pregnant into his head.......can we tell I have a thing for desperately needy and affectionate men? 😩

Hi anon! I don't know where to find that, but def inform me if you find them bc daaaaaaang, that sounds delicious 😳

[drdemonprince]

Can I have some insane FIREy money saving tips pls?

I am so sorry but it is a common misconception of FIRE to think that it's about saving (and especially about ridiculous degrees of purtianical cost-cutting and self-denial). The reason that Mr Money Mustache was able to retire at 30 was because he was making early 2000's tech industry money that he could live on so easily he put fully 50% of his income into a retirement account. He did spend a lot less than his professional peers by not leasing ridiculously expensive cars, living in a modestly sized home in a cheap and walkable area, and not engaging in the rampant lifestyle inflation that is typical for that industry, but half of his advice (like "dont buy professional cleaning products, just use vinegar" and "don't get health insurance just be active") either wouldn't amount to a drop in the bucket for the average person, or isn't feasible unless you're super privileged and lucky.

now all that SAID, there are useful lessons to be gleaned from the r/leanfire world that apply to more people's situations. The biggest determinants of a person's ability to save are their housing and transportation; the most effective ways to cut one's expenses are to move to a far cheaper area (or into a cheaper housing situation, such as with roommates or van life or something), and to stop driving and instead use a bike or public transit. that CAN make a huge difference of anywhere from hundreds to thousands of dollars a month. anything else you can do to reduce spending on beyond that is less substantial and less controllable, but there are things one can do -- things you have probably thought of, like ending subscription payments (just pirate all your media), cooking at home, and not throwing money away on expenses that are hefty but highly socially normalized (if you're in a subculture where it is common to fly across the country for lots of friends' weddings and spend lots of money on their gifts, for example, eschewing that).

The majority of people interested in FIRE here on this blog? are people who need a lot more time to themselves and a whole lot more flexibility because they are disabled, and they're not making a ton of money. they're probably also not wasting a ton of money either -- bc they're broke. of course i could recommend things that are probably obvious like buying used phones instead of leasing them from cell phone providers, pirating media instead of paying for it, going to the gym at the park district building instead of a fancy private one -- but i think most people already know all of that and are doing their damndest.

the other side of the equation of course is to boost income -- doing freelancing or switching industries or things like that. but it's something i am also hesitant to recommend bc i dont want people burning out like i did, and it's not feasible for most of us.

personally i think the most useful part of the FIRE movement for the majority of us is advice about how to invest effectively, how to avoid getting screwed, and an affirmation that living very cheaply and independently of an employer IS possible. but it gets harder the more reliant you are upon a car, the more expensive the city is that you're living in, and if you have kids. hell, MMM even tells people that getting pets is a waste. that's just the kind of autism he has.

Again, r/leanfire is the best for practical tips and tools that will actually fit your life if youre like most of us here on this blog -- but if this is a topic you already think about a fair amount you're probably doing most of what you can already, and maybe even worrying about small expenses far too much. the whole point of FIREing is so you arent miserable. so like, dont cut out expenses that make your life more bearable. this isnt (or shouldnt be) some advocado toast shaming kinda stuff you know what i mean.

[toxictigertonic]

HIII i absolutely adore your outlast trials headcanons, they're so silly and accurate .. if u don't mind, could you maybe do one of the prime assets going to the movie theater? that'd be so funny

Took a little break to give my brain more time to soak in the outlast bathtub, but I'm back with more silly.

COYLE

- He wouldn't take his sunglasses off for the movie I'm saying this right now. It could be a 3D movie and he'd just put the glasses over top of his own.

- Kinda guy to get a hotdog at the movies instead of just popcorn. Then he complains about the price to the underage cashier.

- He likes to watch cop and action movies, imagines himself being the protagonist through the whole movie. He wishes he was that cool.

- Leaves popcorn on the floor and his empty cup in the cup holder because "it's their job to clean it up".

- Would try to steal snacks that Gooseberry brought in. She was gonna share them anyway but if he's gonna be like that he can starve.

- Shushes anybody who even breathes too loud when the movie is going. He is Locked In and if you distract him he's going to kick your ass.

- Due to being this locked in, he will hold his piss for however long the movie is. He's not missing a second of this, he'll piss himself if he has to.

- Does not care what seat he actually bought, he's gonna sit where he likes and you're gonna deal with it. Dick.

- Would try to smoke a cigarette inside of the theater and have to be escorted out. Would not go quietly.

- Does not stay to see if there's anything after the credits, misses out every time. It's not that he doesn't know, he doesn't believe that there's actually anything to see.

MOTHER GOOSEBERRY

- Brings a purse full of snacks with her. She is unwilling to spend 20 dollars on a little bit of candy. Still gets popcorn though, nobody can resist movie theater popcorn.

- Futterman wants to watch gorey horror movies while she wants to watch romcoms or just comedies in general.

- Futterman will complain through the whole movie if he's forced to watch a romcom. And he's loud about it too, the other movie goers would complain, but... that goose is scary.

- If he got his wish and they're watching a horror movie, he's cheering when characters die. Fuck the protagonists he's here for BLOOD.

- Futterman also complains about her snack choices. Candy? SUGAR? Think of the cavities, Phyllis!!

- She doesn't talk during movies but she is the one softly gasping whenever something like a plot twist happens.

- Futterman is face down in the popcorn bucket just munching away. He's gonna need a bath (read: get dunked in the sink) when they get home.

- Futterman would crack shitty jokes during quiet parts. Don't laugh it'll only encourage him to do it again.

- Phyllis is also a "hold it until the movie is over" kinda person but only because Futterman throws a fit if he misses out on parts. That's if they're watching a horror movie, if it's a romcom he's begging her to leave lol.

- Refills her popcorn before she leaves and brings it home with her.

FRANCO

- He actually can't eat popcorn bc the kernels get stuck in his teeth and it's uncomfortable :(

- Instead of eating popcorn, he's scarfing down candy. He strikes me as a gummy kind of guy.

- Gooseberry is actively rushing him past the snacks and candy bc he WILL try to buy 8 different kinds of candy and end up spending 60 dollars. He has the money but he does NOT need to experience a sugar rush halfway through a movie.

- He'd also go for horror movies, but also mafia/mob movies. Would shout at the screen about inaccuracies.

- Out of all of the assets, he's the one talking during the movie. He has a hard time sitting still and he's not completely paying attention and he wants Gooseberry to tell him what he missed. Coyle is shushing him the whole time.

- Despite being the one that keeps yapping, he'll kick the back of someone else's seat if he thinks they're talking too loud.

- Also leaves a mess of candy wrappers and spilled drinks, just like Coyle. He just doesn't care tbh.

- Gets up 9 separate times to use the bathroom, has to step in front of Coyle each time to get out of the row. They're gonna kill each other after the movie.

- If somebody else tries to step over his legs to get out of the row, he'd trip them. The menace.

- Gooseberry is clapping her hand over his eyes if there's any nudity and he is FIGHTING to move her hand away. Let him see!!

I would watch a movie with Phyllis and only Phyllis everyone else can wait in the car (sorry Franco)

[macknshift]

[ ☀️ 🗺️ 🪼&👙 ] for your marauders reality pleasseee 🥺🙏

YIPPEEEEEE THE DR I LIVE MY MERMAID PRINCESS FANTASY IN!!!! (thank u for the ask pooks)

𐔌 . ☀️ ⋮ DAYS OF SUN ֹ ₊ ꒱ what are your go-to summertime activities? do you and your friends plan big garden parties with all the fruits and snacks? maybe a charcuterie board? possibly a water balloon tournament?

day-to-day, i do three things; swim (in a lake near my house. it's enchanted to not have any creatures or illnesses in it, Thank God!) read, and tan. i lay out in the sun for so long every day. i know that logically i don't have to care about tanning bc i'm a metamorphagus and i can change my skin color at whim (which i don't do?? btw??? i've seen ppl say that they do and i am NAWT a race changer good lord) and also the sun is not that strong in my hometown, but i just like laying in the sun and getting a nice bit of outside time. i usually bring an enchanted mp3 player so i don't have to bring any electronics with me lol

otherwise, i just like popping in and visiting my friends where they live. i think i visit remus the most (mainly bc we're bffs but also his family is so sweet (his younger sister adores me, i'm like her idol or smth lol)) but i go see james specifically a lot too. (euphemia hooks me up w some of the best food i've ever had in my entire life LMFAO) my friends obviously come and visit me too, so it's not like i'm the one travelling to them 24/7, but it is a really fun activity to just go floo-ing around the greater UK area lol

𐔌 . 🗺️ ⋮ WORLD WIDE MAP ֹ ₊ ꒱ if you could have one fantastic trip where would you go? why would you go there? what intrigues you about that place? are there certain activities there that have attracted you there?

i would LOVE to visit japan. japan is overall a bucket list country for me anyway, but i can imagine that the magic system there is probably pretty different. besides that, i just really want to go to the studio ghibli museum y’all 🙏🏻🙏🏻 like PLEAK just once and i will be a happy clam i promise i will be!!!!!! i honestly don't know who would come with me tee bee h. i feel like logically i could drag remus with me he would basically go anywhere w me and probably (weirdly) alice fortescue? she's japanese (adopted by the fortescues!) and i know that she likes to travel based on her and frank planning on taking a gap year once they graduate (they graduate 2 years before i do!) so maybe? mayhaps? alice would come along? i think i could also convince marlene too. she's on a "my parents want me to stay inside SO I MUST TRAVEL!" kick rn (which like, good for her tbh)

𐔌 . 🪼 ⋮ COLORFUL JELLYFISH ֹ ₊ ꒱ okay, we're going to the biggest aquarium in the world. where are you dragging me first? to the large sharks? the exotic fish? fish tank tunnel to watch the fish above us? or are you mad at me because you wanted to go get ice cream instead?

on top of the whole. u know. mermaid fairy princess vibe i try to have, i deadass think i can talk to fish. like, not shitting you, i think i can. or at least like. dolphins. (they’re kind of terrifying but my mom’s patronus is one so i’ve learned to appreciate them LMFAO)

personally i looove just running around and seeing all the little guys. like the tiny ones that get overlooked for the Big Kahunas™️ bc that’s just how i am as a person i think??? idk i’m just a “look out for the little guy” type ig. besides that! however! as i mentioned in the marvel dr answer, i do tend to go insane for the fish tank tunnels. in my cobra kai dr i’m sooo excited to go to the sekai taikai solely for that aquarium i’m so srs LMFAOOO obvi barcelona *said in the voice of that kid from booksmart that says s-es as ‘th’* will be super fun but like!!! aquarium!!!!!! i am getting off track lol

𐔌 . 👙 ⋮ DOTTED BIKINI ֹ ₊ ꒱ what are your dearest summer pieces? a swimsuit that highlights the color of your eyes and makes you feel good? an old band tee you put on after you're done swimming? a new top with pretty flowers on it?

*kim crawford dance* THIS MY JAM!!!!!! the little collage i made above is pretty much the vibe for my summer clothing! i'm ngl, i dress pretty much the same every single season, just varying amounts of skin showing 😭😭 i'm a metamorphagus as well, so i change my hair color based on whatever i'm wearing that day too. i normally stick to those same pastels & everything, and of course the vibe is pastel mermaid princess, so my hair is either the typical pastel pink (what i make my 'default') OR a bright blonde with streaks of whatever color i'm wearing that day (usually pink, purple, or blue streaks!) which i think is super fun.

jewelry wise, i stick to the same jewelry i wear all year (i have a heart-shaped locket necklace from my parents that has a photo of me and my family & a photo of my nuna and bamp (my grandparents) and another necklace that has a sea star pendant from my mom. i wear a crap ton of rings, with various jewels and things and a few separate bracelets, including a charm bracelet with a charm for each year i complete of school, which is super fun. kind-of pjo vibes a bit?) BUT! i wear a lot of arm cuffs? i think they look super cool, and it kind of adds to the whole beach-y vibe. it's kind of ironic that my ass lives in (lowkey) dreary belfast, ireland, but it's alright!!! i travel a bunch!!!

[orengejoshi]

what's your process for coloring and shading? I'm a beginner when it comes to those elements with art and I'm super inspired by your artstyle! <3

well I'd say there isn't really a process behind it!

I'm very simple. bc I quickly get overwhelmed by ADHD.

I line my sketch... and then I bucket-tool fill it with the canon eyedropper-picked colors... and then I throw some cell shading on there. on the exact same layer.

I got 2 layers; lines, and colors.

since it's a cartoon character you'll wanna keep it simple and limit the amount of colors you use to 1-2 shades for any surface max. even the shading color is actually just color picked off canon screenshots. I don't use layer modes.

the only tip I can give is to not put all the shading just on the edges of everything. use big shapes, be confident, don't blur or airbrush it if you don't know what you're doing with those tools. triangle shapes are especially nice for clothes.

think of where exactly the light source comes from before starting to shade/render, if necessary literally draw a small lamp into the corner.

the magic in my art comes from duplicating and Gaussian blurring my lineart and the particular settings I use to adjust the colors with Correction Layers (in CSP. if curious I could simply give out all of my exact settings here or you're freely allowed to color pick off my art, no credit since I don't own colors.) trust me you don't wanna see my art without those tweaks

here's a doodle of Flug with TJ_beastboy's tats

Thank you💜💛

[your-favourite-yapper]

tll me evrything aplease

tws: cheating, vague mentions of drug use, suicide (1ce by pill 1ce by gun, its not grqphic but you can drfo tell whats happening), age gap (srs isnt tech a child but i dont think that makes anything b8r in terms of morality)(during prongsfoot: srs is 19 james is 27 and in remus x james remus is 27 iames is 45),everyone dies except for rjl (v rare occurence), outing (regulus outs james and sirius), i don't know what time frame this is, i have NAWT read or watched cmbyn bc it's too sad, ships that happen in order: wolfstar, prongsfoot, bitchkiller, jily, remus x james, james x gun (none r endgame except the last 1), ALOT of typos @mrstellmeafuckingsecret this is part one btw bc tumblr is 2 sec from crashing

SO sirius + co. Have a second family home in Italy theyv3 be3n goingb2 since they were babies and like orion is a professor and needs an intern and he usually gets a young woman but him and walburga fight abt this so walburga makes him get an older man (even tho on fridays wc are the days orion works tye latest, she gets the gardener to come 20 minutes early) anyways enter stage right: james

The home is in the Italian countryside bc regulus hates the noises of traffic and in the more rural areas there lives Remus and he's a sweet boy srssage and him and sirisu have an on off rlnship (its on off bc even tho its implicit bn them that they're in a rlnship even when sirius is away srs ALWAYS cheats w other girls and rjl is in the rural part of toen so he walks like 3 miles 2 get service 2 talk 2 sirisu only for sirisu to not respond.....he makes gifts for srs and srs barley responds and saves up his savings for like a month to buy sirius lipgloss after sirius said he wanted one )

Umm anyaways..jfp comes and sirius is v annoyed bc ??? Now he has to LIVE w this hobo??? But they warm up 2 each other and srs was always a Lil mean to regulus but when james was w him he'd acc Bully him and he'd run off wo regulus (he had his bugs hed be fine) and make fun of regulus 2 james bc even tho there's only a barely 2 yr age gap bn them sirius NEEDS james 2 see him as more mature and walburga doesn't like james bc he's taking her bby away from her but since she's a poised matriarch and needs to b a good hostess since her husband is lowkey tweaking 99% of thr time (the other 1% is when hes passed out drunk) she can't threaten him w one of their special occasion knives

And James has to remind himself of the decade of an age gap bn them but how would he do that when sirisu is in absurdly low hung swim shorts and is sprawled by the pool all gangly limbs and silky black hair and open pretty mouth and and his YOUTH bc he's a practically still a child and this is wrong wrong wrong wrong so james is v inconsistent w his behavior to sirius

One moment he's staring at Sirius w his mouth practically dropped open and he's making winky faces at sirius and he's just staring at Sirius from behind his sunglasses and the next he's blowing sirius off and snapping at him w words that cut cut cut and sirius wants to dig his fingers inside those cuts and show james his insides and he's intrigued bc how could he not be? No one has ever treated him like this

and all the while Remus is at his cottage w his sick grandma (who in siriuss opinion should just kick the bucket at this point) in his 2 bedroom house where he lives w 4 ppl and sleeps on a mattress on the floor, staying up late and making anniversary cards for him and sirius. and regulus is watching his older brother sneak off w a complete stranger rather than talk w him abt bugs like they would when they were 8 and all was ok back then but all is not ok rn bc what was so nice abt james anyways?? He doesn't kno 5 languages, he doesn't play 3 instruments, he doesn't kno siriuss breakfast order when Sirius was 9, he doesn't stay up hoping PRAYING that sirius would open his eyes and realize that regulus is-and has always been- RIGHT. THERE.

Anywho ..1 day james kisses sirius under the trees near the pool and sirius can feel his whole world upend but then james pushes him away and srs asks why and james says srs is so young and srs says that's not the rzn and james says that it's all a joke to sirius and sirius says that acc he's still in a 4yr rlnship w a boy so... and james starts yelling at him and sirius kisses him and they make out and have sex and all is good!!!

But guess who also spends his time under the trees near the pool? Collecting bugs and rocks to show his father now that his brother is practically gone?

Regulus tells his parents and he's happy bc finally sirisu would get his dues and maybe after that they might even make up w james out the house!!

Walburga who is ever so composed tweaks. Tf. Out. And James is shocked bc walburga smiled at him and made sure to tell the servants to serve him his eggs abit overcooked bc uncooked eggs make him nauseous and she always made sure the wine of the night would be jamess favourite and now she's screaming at him and ...is that A KNIFE???!!! so umm yeah he takes like half his stuff and skeddadles (coward)

and walburga then screams at sirius and sirius is shocked bc walburga is never mad at HIM and walburga is shocked bc she swore to herself that she'd never yell at sirius and the day he was born he was born STRONG and beautiful and perfect (and not like regulus who was born a stillborn(and he wasnt even orions and so he was contaminated and weak and far too soft and)) and now she was screaming at Sirius and she must have stopped at some point bc when she blinks she's in her bed and she can hear Sirius cry and she doesn't comfort him and infact feels childishly vindicated even tho he won't stop crying and (and the next morning he was gone and the only person left was) regulus.

It's all HIS fault bc why would he tell her that when he knew it'd make her upset at sirius and didn't he understand how pERFECT sirius was??? So she cries and yells and cries and yells and cries and yells and doesn't notice (even tho she does and there it is again that childish vindication) it when regulus takes her sleeping pills up to the bath 2 wks after sirius left and she doesn't care (she does. bc regulus still had her blood if not orion's) bc sirius is GONE

Sirius after running away goes 2 Remus first to beg 4 some cash so he could catch the bus to the hotel james would be sure to be at, and him and remus haven't talked in DAYS and so he doesn't kno that remuss grandma has (FINALLY) kicked the bucket and remus opens the door and app asking for cash first thing is not??? ok??? Bc remus starts yelling at him w red rimmed eyes and sirius is confused bc ?? Bro u got upgraded from having to live w 4 ppl in a 2 bedroom house to 3ppl in a 2 bedroom house ????

But Sirius leaves and stays at a shady pub w the little cash he has and has to share a room w a man w piercings and tattoos and green hair and drugs and he's lonely so they fuck and get high and fuck and get high and fuck get high and get high to fuck and fuck high and he forgets abt Remus and forgets abt regulus and his mother and his father and the stupid gardener who comes 20 min early and he forgets james and and

JAMES ! He tries catching the train and gets the money from the man under the pretense of getting more drugs and goes to the hotel but james left a day ago ashen sirius was busy getting high n fuckin and he breaks down right there in the lobby bc james was probably back at his family home in America and well ummm yeah...he dies(?) In the streets (its v much a lucy gray bird situation i dunno u dunno)