#bc i didnt have as much time to proof read as I usually did

[written-mishaps]

This is a day late but here's chapter 19 of IWOaMoT!

[hopeswriting]

HI HELLO, I FELT BAD CONTINUING THE CONVO IN THE POST BUT OOOOOHHOO YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING UNWELL ABOUT TSUNA HOPE. I AM INSANE ABOUT HIM.

FIRST OF ALL, I checked the link you sent and oh my god SAME "The Truth Revealed" is an INSANE CHAPTER TO ME. Tbh Future arc is one of my favorite arcs in KHR all together. I don't think I ever recovered from Tsuna waking up in a fucking coffin. Like I think that irreversibly altered my brain chemistry I havent been the same. My brains been spinning since i saw that. To find out that TYL Tsuna planned it in the Truth Revealed??? Like WHO is TYL TSUNA. WHAT HAPPENED TO HIM. Like you pointed out that Lal yelled out at Tsuna wasnt like that, but to find out he was?? oh my GOD. Like it makes me wonder how much stress TYL Tsuna was under or how he came to the point that he felt like this was the only solution they could pull off. I think there's an addition that Irie did say that Byakuran would've found a way to bring the younger gang to the future anyway must have absolutely added to TYL Tsuna's stress and desire to get his younger self ready before Byakuran decided it was time before he was. Like I need to know IS HE HAPPY LIKE YOU SAID. I HOPE THIS MAN FINDS PEACE GOD KNOWS HE DESERVES IT. This is more of a headcanon than any solidified proof, just a GUT feeling. But I have to feel as if TYL Tsuna's actions being so... like that had to do with TYL Reborn's death. We know that they're close and Rainbow arc shows us that Tsuna would lift the entire world on his back if it saved Reborn. I can't help but theorize the mental state TYL Tsuna was in, after losing Reborn. Seeing how..hotheaded Tsuna can get about Reborn in Rainbow Arc and how he willingly goes to the Inheritance Ceremony for Yamamoto.. I can see him conjuring a plan like this to fuck the shit out of Byakuran post Reborn death, or even just for the possibility of getting Reborn back. But this is just a headcanon again. Either way?? Im FOAMING at the mouth with you.

As for the rest of our discussion, first of all I lost my shit when you sent the manga panel of Reborn looking shocked but holy shit i didnt connect those dots that Reborn was ?? shocked?? that Tsuna was going along with it. And that its coming from a place of anger and vengeance from Tsuna, which isn't usual for him but fuck they attacked his family. As you mentioned, they crossed that firm line drawn in the sand and Tsuna was going for their throat this time bc how dare they? When, in Tsuna's eyes, Yamamoto was done NOTHING wrong to his attacker. As for Tsuna becoming Vongola Decimo and how he would've been shackled, this is actually something we discussed in our server as well. The conclusion I ended up coming with is that in the end it didn't matter to Tsuna. He was seeing red. He was furious. He was willing to sacrifice everything, even his own freedom from the Mafia to avenge Yamamoto. It's either that he was so blinded by rage that he didn't consider the consequences of his actions, or even worse he was willing to take up the mantle of Vongola Decimo if it meant catching the person who did this to Yamamoto. For Yamamoto's sake, he would be Vongola Decimo. AND THAT IDEA??? OOOHHHH. UGHHHH. THERES SO MUCH TO TSUNAS CHARACTER AND IT DRIVES ME MAD BC HE SEEMS SO SIMPLE AT FIRST LOOK. AND IM??? IM AAAAH YKNOW??

[follow up to this post]

the future arc isn't personally my favorite, but i totally get the people for whom it is. the writing for it is really solid and really steps up from what we had so far, and i DO love so much that first part of the arc up to the end of the merone base raid.

you know, at times like this i wish i'd remember what my reaction was to it the first time i read it too, but my memory is shit lol. but i don't need to to agree it was so iconic and insane of amano to make tsuna appear in the future in a coffin. like not only it's the first thing we learn about the future, but also the first thing we learn about his future. that ten years later he's dead. absolute fucking power move from amano, like hello??

but also, while we're on the subject... this literally just came to me so idk if i'm going to be articulate about this lol, but i think there's something to be said about how the first thing we learn about tyl tsuna is that he's dead. and then he stays dead throughout the arc, mentioned and talked about, judged and defended, praised and blamed, but it all happens through other people. everything we learn about him, every choice (or lack thereof) and decision attributed to him, every glimpse into his personality and what kind of man he was, we learn all of it it through someone else's words. through someone else's eyes, and tho we're given no reason to doubt they're saying the truth, they can only be biased as they say it. like, amano could have made him appear through flashbacks, but she didn't. she gave him no physical appearance, no face, no voice. and then when she does do that (tho even then she still gives him no face), he only talks about his present self. has only words for him. and idk what is there to say about all that, but i know it's relevant to the themes of the future arc.

I think there's an addition that Irie did say that Byakuran would've found a way to bring the younger gang to the future anyway must have absolutely added to TYL Tsuna's stress and desire to get his younger self ready before Byakuran decided it was time before he was.

you're right! i tend to overlook that bit of information, but it is canon that either way, the present 10th gen would have found themselves in the future. so for tsuna to decide he'll be the one to make it happen and have control over it instead of byakuran, was of course the right choice to make. the safest one, both for them and their present selves. as well as the kindest one, because of course, tsuna didn't just bring them to the future to leave them to die in it, the way byakuran would have done. he came up with a plan to make sure they were ready to face the future like you said, and would be strong enough to see it through. and the plan was still harsh and painful and arguably cruel on them, but it still was kindness from tsuna at the same time. consideration for the situation he had no choice but to get them involved in. it was him taking responsibility for it and sparing them the worse of it as much as he could and as much as realistically possible. and maybe it made little difference, but it's still more than byakuran would have allowed them for sure, and it did play a non-negligible part in them not only surviving the future, but coming out on top of it.

you know... for some reason i've always thought tsuna was level-headed when he agreed to go along with the plan. like of course his hands were being forced as he was backed against a corner, facing a hopeless and desperate situation, but in my head he still had himself together somehow. sat and considered the pros and cons of the plan with a cool head, before deciding it was worth the gamble.

but like. knowing tsuna, it's much more likely he hadn't, you're right. that he was standing on the brink, and maybe had already fallen from it. i mean, yamamoto's dad got killed, his parents were unaccounted for, vongola's hq fell and vongola was hunted, namimori was invaded and every people there connected to him hunted too, forcing kyoko and haru to be on the run, with lambo and i-pin after them to keep them safe when they were just fifteen but still forced to take part in a literal war. tsuna had already lost so much by that point, while still being at risk of losing much more. and at the same time, he had already lost the worst thing he could lose, because of course, there's also reborn. reborn who also died, who also got killed when he's the one person who's always been by his side, who's always been his rock and anchor, who's always known how to give him strength again when his own failed him. and MY gut feeling headcanon is that reborn died not too long before tsuna put the plan in motion. maybe even died only just a couple of days before that, and that was the last straw, the deciding factor that made tsuna go along with the plan.

so like. maybe tsuna was heartbroken and crestfallen when he made that decision. maybe it was an entirely emotional one, one he made out of spite and vindictive feelings for byakuran like you said. out of fear he'll end up with nothing more left to lose, and out of his guilt for letting things come to that point and not being in a position--not having the power to make things right again. a decision he made out of his grief and the desperate hope he could get back everything he lost. the hope he could get reborn back. and okay, consider this, but independently of whether it was the right thing to do or of the chances of the plan to be successful, maybe he simply agreed to it too out of the certainty it's what present tsuna would have done too. that it's what he'd have wanted too, that he would have taken any chance that might bring reborn back to him. because it's reborn. oh i'm soo normal about this and their bond.

For Yamamoto's sake, he would be Vongola Decimo.

YOU CANT JUST SAY THAT TO ME LIKE I HAVENT THE SOFTEST SPOT FOR YAMS AND TSUNA. oh my god. oh my god??? for yamamoto's sake... for yamamoto. and i mean, i know tsuna would have done the exact same thing for any of his other guardians, but that amano chose to go along with yams instead of any other guardian... like again, i do very much believe tsuna would have reacted the same way were it anyone else, but at the same time i really do very much believe the fact it was yamamoto played a part in his anger and resolve to avenge him. i really can't explain it, but like. it's yamamoto, you know?

NO I KNOW!!!! tsuna is... he's so easy to overlook and deem unworthy of a second glance, but if you DO look back at him, and then really look at him, you can't stop and can't look away. and the longer you look, the more there is to look at. which is even more insane because at his core tsuna still is truly, really just some guy. he's just a complex character in very simple ways i guess??

anyway yeah, i need to LIE DOWN now, thanks.

[thisisegregiouuuus]

ok i was gonna make a post abt my rh oc kitty but i got distracted like usual so i gotta say 2 THINGS!!!

first of all, im kind of getting back into warrior cats...not rlly the books, but moreso the game clangen which im legit obsessed with, and its kind of similar to how i act w royale high. ill randomly be like 'oh hey i havent been on clangen in a while' so i hop on, get attatched to it for a week or 2 at most, and then wham bam thank you MAM!!! im sick of it and leave

but rn im back on it! and im kiiinnndddd of maaaaybbeeee considering starting a new clan and recording the events and stuff on a new blog/account/idk whatever thingy here on tumblr (for the billionth time... bc u have NOOOOO idea how many times ive started a new clan, been like 'oh yeah, this is the one', documented it for ages, then just gave up on it. i probably have like 10 random google docs floating around that are documenting random stuff in random clans </3) so yeah, idk if its gonna happen, especially bc i kind of need to focus on school rn, so idk. i might leave it to do it on the holidays but who knows if ill still be interested by then....theres always too much things going on around me and in my brain for me to even keep up

and also if anyone was wondering, yes i kind of am into warrior cats, i useed to love it as a kid and i still do. i remember playing the old roblox roleplay game back when it was just like rlly shitty cylinder morphs of cats back in grade 8 but let me tell u....the poor quality just added the more fun and charm to it. not even kidding, i loved it so much. i literally would stay up every single night so late just to rp, that game used to be my life, like i cant put into words how much i loved that game. every night i played the warrior cats rp game, that would be the highlight of my day, or the thing i was most esxcited abt after school was over. but things are different now, dont get me wrong the new and improved version of the game is rlly impressive, but ill always miss the good old days with the bad morphs of the cats </3 they will always hold a dear place in my heart, and same with all the fun and memories i made playing that game

also bc of how often i used to rp i became like a pro, like i was rlly confident and everything came naturally, but now ive left it for too long, i havent roleplayed in what feels like a billion years, and im hella rusty </3 it rlly sucks bc rn id love love looooveeee to get back into roleplaying on roblox. even if it isnt on warrior cats, id be happy, i just miss roleplaying in general

anyway im going soo off course rn. i did read the warriors books as a kid but i didnt rlly read the series in order tbh, like i remember reading into the wild, but thats it. otherwise id only read the special edition books lmao, idk why but i did and i loved them, and even tho i basically didnt follow the chronological story line, i still loved warrior cats sm

anyway that abt does it for the whole warrior cats stuff. idk where its gonna go from here but for now ill just enjoy clangen as is

and now that i said all that i cant be bothered mentioning the second thing lmao. its legit almost 2am im not even kidding, and i have to wake up at like 9am </3

sorry for any spelling mistakes and stuff btw this isnt proof read

[sam-and-dean-codependency]

#i see a lot of people interrupting this as ‘this shows how sam never understood how bad dean got it!’ which imo is such a bad take#‘dean shielded sam so sam didnt know’#listen im a believer in john hit dean and i think theres support of that in the text#im not sure HOW much my opinion on that changes#HOWEVER#i firstly do not believe that if john hit dean that he never hit sam#like john’s rage is mostly directed at sam. sams the scapegoat. the one that tries to rebel and that john must most often ‘put in his place’#i feel like if only ONE of them was hit it was probably sam.#(i feel like peope erase or look over what john did to sam to make dean more tragic and make a much less realistic family dynamic)

#i think the most revealing and interesting parts of these scenes is#1) in these scenes and early seasons the brothers both feel like they got the worst from john and that the other was special#and neither of them really understand or at times have a lot of empathy for how the other was effected.#theres not a lot of safety and connection between the brothers when it comes to john! no bonding! making the brothers even more alone and#filled with shame when it comes to john.#and this shows up so much in their dynamic. theres a silent (and sometimes not so silent) resentment for the other ‘favorite’ son.#and you can see small places where they do gain and little empathy and understanding for each other when it comes to john#and it is one of the interesting places of character growth in the show (its not perfect or complete but dean stands up for sam in s1 and#sam shows a shitton of understanding and empathy for dean in the later seasons relating to john)

#2) it shows how deeply theyve internalized john’s abuse#and it isnt just regarding how john saw them specifically but how john saw the OTHER brother.#dean treats sam like the scapegoat. hes mad sam ‘left’ (made a good decision to exit an unhealthy family). later dean treats sam#like the ‘blood freak’ to keep an eye on. sam cannot be trusted to make his own decisions so dean makes decisions for him.#meanwhile sam sees dean as john’s second in command. to sam dean never had to really feel johns wrath.#the flagstaff scene and other scenes like it!#THEY REINFORCE THE ROLES JOHN GAVE THE OTHER!!!

#imo these scenes are a GREAT at showing sibling dynamics when the siblings havent healed from their abuse.#also to respond to this by saying ‘look its proof that one got it worse than the other’ misses out on the most interesting part of the#brothers’ dynamic. you are missing the most interesting part of the guys who are usually wasting possible castiel time.#no one will read this bc i wrote a novel (fair) but im RIGHT and this is my most correct spn opinion

(stealing @anarchocasism's tags bc they are so correct)

1x08 // 3x10 

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom episode 4-7 Thoughts: (under a readmore because, these got kinda long!)

-the outfit danny had to buy for dash's party. CLASSIC 2000S i cannot stop laughing. And also showing up to the party and everyone is dressed like the trio is hilarious. and further proof that everyone looks good dressed goth.

-dash has a closet full of cute lil bear plushies?? LOVE that. adorable. also his response to danny trashing his room fighting a ghost was SO valid if somone BROKE MY BED IN HALF ID BE PISSED TOO.

-technus being like 'oh smart, u should be a tutor!' then later being like 'forget tutor, be a teacher!' :) supportive king <3 I also really like his upgraded suit/design. AND SPOCK CAMEO??? HELLO??

-the music in this show is super. its so funky. I looked it up and the guy who does it, guy moon (awesome name) also did music for other cartoons like fairly odd parents, barnyard, chalkzone, billy & mandy, AND some actual movies like FIGHT CLUB??? the whiplash I got from reading that)

-sam being rich explains a lot about her, actually.

-I know the moral of the episode was supposed to be 'dont ditch your friends for popular people/spend a lot of money on clothes that arent You to Fit In'. but tbh. it wouldve been easy for danny to have been like 'well, okay, ill come but only if my friends can!' but I get. that hes 14. so. not a lot to say there.

-BOX GHOST IS BACK!!!!! also, danny sitting up and wearing the dress/wig/makeup. umm thats how I dress everyday LMFAO. unironically me. (hate the jokes that boil down to 'haha funney man in dress' tho. but this is a look)

-jazz being protective of her brother once again being like NOOO YOU GUYS BETTER NOT STAKE OUT HIS (actually haunted) LOCKER!! shes aware of how people perceive him and she wants to help :( which is also probably why she told dash to invite him to that party even tho she had no interest in going!! she wants to help him out :(

-gotta say im with tucker on the whole 'should danny use his powers to get back at bullies' debate. 100% yes. let him teach kids to fight back. making dash throw his food at paulina out of the blue? no. but when hes actually about to pick on someone? yeah! for self defense? YEAH! if dash and his friends just threw food at him, I think rather than. idk doing sneaky shit with frogs he couldve just threw it back and not pulled punches if they tried to fight. I kNOOWWW its a kids show so they are like 'if u fight back ur just as bad!! violence bad!!' but. theyre HIS POWERS. WHO CARES.

-like my only gripe is that dash really isnt LEARNING ANYTHING WHEN DANNY GETS BACK AT HIM IN THE MOST PETTY INDIRECT WAYS. whatever they had to add a bully psa episode I guess. I hate it and I hate the way cartoons usually handle it because these methods simply Do Not Work. 'aND YouRE USinG YOur poWErs FOR EVill???!' this is Not Evil. even when poindexter takes dannys body, theyre only being 'nice' bc hes stealing soda for them!! bitches deserve what they get (nothing too brutal bc theyre high schoolers but damn, if they pick on danny he doesnt need to be the 'bigger person' he needs to start biting people)

-SAM TRYING TO SMUGGLE FROGS OUT OF THE BIO LAB?? girl in middle school when we had to dissect frogs we could opt out, also, they came to us already dead and preserved...

-sidney's lingo and the fact hes in black and white is sending me. also, danny is a ghost celebrity apparently for being a halfa?? ok. thats interesting to know

-the DENTIST BEING EXCITED ABOUT THE COTTON CANDY FLOOD IS THE FUNNIEST THING SO FAR.

-I LOOOVE the trope of 'wishes gone wrong'. not crazy about the stereotypical genie, or the use of the dreamcatcher looking design. (also, I KNOW theyre scientists but the way theyre handling a cold...are the fentons ANTIVAX)

-the genie. she. whitewished paulina. JKASDFHKJ. (the ghost literally just being hello kitty???? im dying) 'why do i feel that im special and wonderful? because I AM! <3' paulina ilu self worth queen. felt bad for her also getting possessed by (2) boys later who were arguing INSIDE HER. WTF.

-imagine being the guy trapped in his now flying car. he thought danny and tucker were HALUCINATIONS. imagine being trapped in a flying car with two, what you think are imaginary arguing 14 year olds convinced ur gonna die. i WOULD say this dude is gonna need so much therapy, but he seemed totally fine and excited when they landed (I would be happy too if a chicken was on my head. chickens rule) stoner rights

-sam's bat slippers??? iconic. SO cute.

-I think desiree's backstory is so :( do all ghosts have messed up sad backstories?? poindexter's was sad too...cannot imagine box ghost has any kind of fucked up backstory. but what if. his mom got pushed off cliffs by boxes...........a la cruella... anyway her 'no man may lay a hand on me' iconic. ilu

-I know danny has no concept of how much bras cost but my god dont attack tucker with some girls bra. those are so expensive.

-its really. well its not a GOOD THING he went into the portal and got fucked up, but its good danny was the one to do it rather than sam or tucker. because even tho he was being influenced by desiree and kept getting more malicious and it prob wasnt 100% him...he sucked as a ghost like most the people he 'pranked' were innocent ppl just Chillin and he didnt want to help anyone at all. I think danny is the most responsible out of them but also, hes 14 and shouldnt HAVE to feel obligated to fight every ghost. hes a good kid and wants to, but I also feel like he feels like...responsible for the portal turning on?? because his parents did give it up,, but it was an accident and not his fault (if anything, why was the on switch on the inside. why was it that easy. why was there no safety measures. that seems like smth OSHA needs to hear about). like thats my son. hes a good boy. and hes never done anything wrong in his life, ever. if anyone hurts him im killing everyone in this room and then myself. etc.

-danny's curfew is 10PM????? DUDE. when I was 14...shit I couldn't be out that late, I had to be back at like, 8 at the latest, and my parents had to know exactly where and who I was going with, AND i had to call/text them regularly...is this a case of my parents being overbearing, or the fentons sucking??? the only time i could EVER be out that late was if I was at an overnight sleepover or smth...

-the vultures have lil fezes. why do they have fezes...theyre so fuckin funny 'ask him for directions' 'I KNOW WHERE IM GOING' these ghost vultures are my new grandpas. pick them up, put them in the adopt box.

-'I wonder why those guys were trying to waste dad!' THEYRE GHOSTS. YOUR DAD HUNTS GHOSTS. why is that not a conclusion you'd immediately jump to??

-*jazz voice, clearly disgusted* WISCONSIN???

-mrs fenton with the lab coat and leg warmers and PERM. YESSS STYLISH.

-was going to say 'ew billionaire' @vlad but. super valid he used his powers to assumedly steal and cheat to get that money, thats how all billionaires do it! but ew hes a SIMP. and spending your billions on FOOTBALL STUFF?? you are Not Valid overall. I DO respect the fact you have a castle instead of a mansion. in wisconsin. if youre going to be stupidly rich might as well go all out, torches on the wall and all. I DO like his ghost form's little kitty ears. catman. and his cape! every design can benefit from a cape. and how different his forms look, like danny looks the EXACT SAME IN BOTH FORMS ASIDE FROM COLOR CHANGES. vlad's is like,, I could believe they were different people!! also I love the drama. but dude you are fighting a 14 year old. lame. also he was like, telling danny he wanted his mom and him and like, wanted him to renounce his dad?? WHAT ABOUT JAZZ?? bitch. those r MY kids and they are both important and special. I do agree they need better parents but thats not u sir <3

-I thought vlad's 'little badger' nickname for danny came from the football mascot of the packers, but google says they have NO MASCOT?? so now I'm like?? is it because his hair is sometimes black and sometimes white?? I hate to give him props but thats a PERFECT NICKNAME. theyre also tiny and vicious!

-why did I get so excited that Skulker is back!! its been like. 2-3 eps LMAO. AND THE DAIRY KING. ICONIC I LOVE HIM. hes the nicest guy ever :) more nice ghosts please. danny cannot be fighting alone everytime with no ghost buds like every ghost being hostile sucks :(

-mr. fenton knew vlad was controlling him, but a few episodes ago he had no clue danny was doing the same thing...is it something about how malicious the ghost is?? he just seemed to think his memory had gaps the first time, this time he was INSTANTLY LIKE 'GHOST'. then again in this ep when danny did it again he was just slightly confused but not immediately freaking out like he did with vlad possessing him!!

-'my parents will accept ME NO MATTER WHAT' so. so why haven't you come out to them yet, danny?? if you really think that?? if theres no harm, and you're sure??? if vlad is a real problem, wouldnt that make dealing with him easier, to expose him???? SO WHY HAVENT YOU COME OUT YET?? COULD IT BE,, MAYBE YOU HAVE DOUBTS ABOUT WHETHER YOUR PARENTS ACTUALLY WILL ACCEPT YOU??? 🤔 ... 🏳‍🌈 I get why people say He Is Trans. I totally totally get u danny.

-sorta unrelated, but it just occurred to me in one of these eps they go to casper HIGH not casper middle school??? theyre 14?? dont highschools usually do ages 15-18? (I didnt go to hs so I might be wrong, if I am ignore this...) freshmen are usually 14-15, could just be a case of them not turning 15 yet but they will sometime in the school year (I say they because tucker said he was 14 too)? I know the show has 3 seasons, so by the end of it will they be older? thatd be neat but usually cartoon characters stay the same age...I love shows where you can see the characters age and grow up, though...three seasons seems like a long time to spend on like, 1 year...

[percyjacksonfan3]

The Last Olympian Thoughts

So because I have absolutely 0 self-control or restraint when it comes to this series and its characters, and for The Last Olympian in particular, I could not put TLO down. Because of this I figured I couldn’t do the usual photo reaction posts I have been so far, because the spam would just be ridiculous, so I am stealing the idea from @yourstrulytaaay​ to do a masterpost instead. (Adding a Read More cause this got ridiculously long)

Fun fact, TLO came out right after i finished reading the series for the first time so it's the first PJO book i bought  and my only hard cover one for the og series. I checked the year and turns out it was published 2009, which means i was actually 9 when i read the series for the first time. I realize this is not really a fun fact but i thought i was older when I first read the series so it's blowing my mind a little ‘cause now I’m 21 and everything hits different and i still have so much love for this series and the characters Okay onto book thoughts: - i was right that this book is gonna destroy me, the first line alone made me so excited and nostalgic it's ridiculous - I love Rachel and Percy sm tbh. Her being a bit of peace and normalcy in his life without always reminding Percy of who and what he is is so good for him. Just a little escape

- of course by the end of the book that's not the case any more but by the end he's lived his prophecy so he doesn't need it as badly, plus he and Annabeth are solid again - Percy saying Annabeth has been hard to be around lately... Ouch my heart. Luke really is the last thing that keeps them from being together and Percy is so jealous and Annabeth so torn and in pain, i feel so bad for them both

- Beckendorf 🥺🥺 - the telkhine with the Lil Demon lunchbox!! I forgot about him. Percy: 'i left him alive, partly because his lunchbox was cool' is one of my absolute favourite lines tbh - Paul taking Percy crabbing and being imperative in helping Percy kill the giant crab 💖 Paul Blofis is important and deserves the world, okay? - aw Percy, you can't save every demigod bb

- 'i had to fight him eventually. Why not now?... What difference would a week make?' Oh Percy you have no idea - real talk tho, the fact Kronos possessed Luke's body would also mess me tf up. Percy keeps forgetting it's not Luke anymore and yeah, that would be so so hard and confusing af, like what another smart little mind game for Kronos to pull on top of everything else - the fact Percy fights Kronos before getting the Achilles Curse and actually doesn't die within seconds is... Astounding. He kicks him in the chest! And yeah Kronos is weaker and still adjusting to Luke's body, but Percy is having trouble fighting Luke cause they used to be friends - Percy breaks Kronos' time magic!! Like?! Boy is POWERFUL.

- OUCH - honestly Luke, Thalia and Annabeth's family breaking the way it did... Don't talk to me. Poor Annabeth, Luke betrayed them, Thalia joined the Hunters because of Luke's betrayal so she's pretty much AWOL all the time and then Luke dies. Like Rick wtf, my heart can't take it? -Percy and Tyson having each others backs when talking to Poseidon in the underwater palace is the brother-brother relationship we love to see - Percy trying to stick a sand dollar in the vending machines at school 🤦🏻‍♀🤦🏻‍♀ - the whole underwater interaction at Poseidon's palace? Perfection. Awkward family drama and all - Connor falling out of the tree when he sees Percy because he's so excited 😂😂

- 😭💖

- k, ik Clarisse isn't perfect but tbh if i was a child of Ares whose father was disrespected and hated by my fellow campers (ares deserves it but still) and that disrespect trickled down to how the other campers treated ME (which if Percy is reliable here, it obviously does) then i would also be irritated at being used for muscle and nothing else? And just expected to fight with the people who act as if they'd rather not have Ares kids around the rest of the time. Like Clarisse isn't totally wrong - Percy reading the prophecy, seeing he's meant to die and just being like 'i do not see it' and refusing to outright think about it makes me so sad for him - (but it taints every action after and he's super reckless afterwards bc of it- including finally breaking and accepting the Achilles Curse) - (also him taking this as the last straw and finally beginning to show Annabeth how he really feels, cause fuck it, he's dying anyway) - Give me more info about Rachel's backstory and family Rick!! -  how did i forget Percy willingly eats chocolates that taste like cardboard because 'i didnt have anything against cardboard' like sir? Ik Silena didn't want them but still? - 'she'd always been cute, but she was starting to be seriously beautiful' STOP, MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT - Percy staring at Annabeth and forgetting what they're talking about cause hes so distracted 👌🏻

- hmm yeah... For some strange reason.... - i forgot how Percy totally bombs this convo bw them and now want to cry 😭 Annabeth is trying to talk about what's important and Percy, you sweet oblivious man, you're shooting her down without even realizing - love that they're both on the same wavelength tho. Percy two lines before, hmm it's cool to date ppl from other cabins, wonder why im thinking that around Annabeth, my best friend in the world, and then Annabeth a beat later, hmm, let me bring up Silena and Beckendorf and how it's important to be with the people you love when you have the chance, no way Percy will miss this huge hint right? - they're the best - k i honestly forgot Percy full on physically intimidates Leneus like that - luke telling his mom if he ran away the monsters wouldnt get her..i can just imagine luke crying when he says good bye before running away because he thinks it's his fault his mom is like that and he cant take care of and protect her anymore because it's too hard - uh oh now i have angsty pre-lightning thief luke fic inspo... Him, Thalia and Annabeth on the run... The ANGST -  Rick holds absolutely nothing back in this book and i am in pain - HESTIA!! 💖💖🥰 - actual loml - i love that Rick titled this book after her and that he wrote such a great series about the importance of family (biological, found or otherwise) and home, and that he said actually Hestia is the most important bc shes the most humble and keeps the peace and knows when to fight and when to yield and you protect what you love, which is your home - i just... Adore Hestia - Grover! Missed you babes - Hades is so so horrible to Nico, always comparing him to Bianca :/ - but i do love Hades, Persephone and Demeter together they make me laugh - oh god the River Styx - Achilles 🥺 - Annabeth being Percy's lifeline is, and continues to be, A Lot™ - 'my name was Percy Jackson. I reached up and took Annabeth's hand.' LOL Why am i crying? - Like the fact there is no Percy without Annabeth, and that remembering her literally reminded him of who he is in his very soul... It's fine im fine - i won't even get into the parallels of her being his lifeline now and then later when Hera takes his memories but leaves the memory of Annabeth for Percy to fight to get back to (anyone who wants to yell about it with me... Feel free to message) - badass Percy is my fav Percy tbh - him defeating Hades?? Like? Hades is arguably the most powerful god, okay - i feel bad for Nico but if i was Percy I'd do the exact same, Nico, sorry man but this is a high stakes time crunch deal and Nico is literally the only hope of persuading Hades and distracted by his own internal stuff - flashbacks to Luke, Thalia and Annabeth hurt, ow - George and Martha are the best - damn i forgot Hermes full on nearly kills Percy here, yikes - Luke stop cockblocking Percabeth challenge

- i love!! Percy's love for New York!! So much!! - Percy leaving to live in New Rome in HoO is a lie and this is all the proof i need for why - the fact the entire last half of the book is the battle and aftermath... Such great buildup and pacing. All the tricks and twists and battles in this War of Manhattan? I would not take out a thing, Rick, you legend - of course then the final battle in hoo with the gods is what? Two pages? Ugh, don’t talk to me about my hatred for BoO and HoO - 'no detours you two' is still the cutest thing!!! - THE HUNTERS!! Thalia i missed you - good job Percy, you finally spent your sand dollar - Minotaur!! - 'dont i get a kiss for luck? Its kind of a tradition right?' Percy finds out he's gonna die and is out of fucks to give and honestly I support him - also Michael just standing beside these two while they're flirting like umm 👀 👀 while a monster army marches towards them, nbd - Annabeth taking Ethan's knife meant for Percy!!! Cause she just knows his weak spot without him even telling her! They literally invented love - Feral Percy is so scary omg, i love how well Rick incorporates the Achilles Curse in this novel, with the whole heightened weaknesses and stuff ans the parallels to Achilles arrogance being what killed him and Percy's loyalty, fierceness and protective instinct being his own heightened weakness - the fact that Percy is the one who inadvertantly kills Michael Yew tho, I'll never recover from that - the fact Hades offers Maria di Angelo a golden palace by the Styx like how Poseidon offers Sally a palace under the sea tho. Let's talk about that parallel - the entire talk with Prometheus is so so good - not me picturing young Luke hiding in the closet to get away from his mom when she has an 'episode' -i love callbacks in stories and all of the callbacks to the rest of the series in this book make me very happy (medusa, minotaur, the underworld, Rainbow!! My baby!!, Daedalus and more) - Percy summoning a wholeass hurricane against Hyperion - the Party Ponies! They're so chaotic, i love it - Dionysus! 😁 I can't help it, i love him - Percy absolutely losing it when he sees Sally and Paul asleep in the car 🥺 - Rachel telling Percy he's not the hero screws with him so much :( poor bb - although i really really love how Rick wrote this, it's so refreshing to not have one chosen one save the world, but a combination of people - the drakon, Silena and Clarisse make me cry - the Patrochilles references, im not okay - Annabeth giving up on Luke after hearing what he did to Silena and Percy telling her that doesn't make him happy 😭 that whole interaction makes my heart ache - Percy giving Hestia Pandora's pithos 🥺 - and Hades, Nico and the others coming for a final attack is so badass, i love it - listen im glad the og trio were the ones to confront Luke on Olympus but the fact Thalia got so close and then pinned by a statue of HERA makes me so sad. Ik her and Luke were finished and she coped by cutting him off completely and giving up all hope but i would pay money to know what they would have said to each other to say goodbye - Ethan 🥺 - Poseidon joining the fight against Typhon is so cool, such a great scene - 'PEANUT BUTTER!' - Annabeth you brilliant badass you - RIP Luke, you werent great but you werent the worst either - the gods just rolling up seconds too late, wondering wtf happened in Olympus and who the dead body is - the chapter where the Olympians meet and give out rewards is one of my absolute favourites (again i am incensed we didn't get anything like this in HoO) - will Percy turning down immortality ever not make me scream in glee? No? Alright then - Annabeth being relieved like Percy was relieved at the end of Titan's Curse tho - oh Hermes :/ - its so hard reading all this and knowing what comes in HoO... Like it's such a cathartic, earned and mostly happy and peaceful ending and then HoO comes along and undermines it all - aww Rick let Paul see Olympus somehow pls, he deserves it, he killed a dracanae - (i would also love to see it) - Percy being more upset Rachel took his pegasus than her going to Camp and possibly dying, lol, priorities dude - i honestly think that Rick had other ideas for the second Great Prophecy and how things would go down in BoO, cause the prophecy like... Barely applies to BoO, Doors of Death are in book four, and explabations of it is all so unclear when Rick is usually pretty good with that stuff - PERCABETH - lol Percy complaining about privacy when he and Annabeth are caught kissing literally in the middle of the very open and public dining pavilion, okay - BEST UNDERWATER KISS OF ALL TIME - that's it and im a glass case of emotion - very happy to say that this series remains my favourite of all time 💖

 If anyone ever wants to come gush about anything Riordanverse related feel free, because as you can see I have a lot of thoughts about it all

[inchandescence]

To Anon

Question:  Yeolmaes hate baekhyun mostly because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never said anything about it, instead he kinda validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies Understand that yeolmaes have to deal with hundreds of hate messages written in Korean everyday and they are at a breaking point considering most of them come from bbh’s own fans How is it possible to like chanyeol and baekhyun at the same time in a situation like this? Do you even take chanyeol feelings into consideration? No? Not even once? He has to deal with thousands of nasty comments coming from bbh fanbase while bbh comes on Twitter reminding them how cute they are and how much he loves them If you cbkists choose to ignore this and baekhyun is actually in a relationship with Pcy it just means that you all couldn’t give less of a shit about chanyeol as a person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks

Answer: Anon...sighs you can't see something from one point of view only really, but it's okay i get you, ok so let us talk about this one by one: 1. You said: Yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most because his stans are the ones sending most hate to chanyeol and baekhyun never say anything about it -When you perceive the assumption that baekhyun stans hate chanyeol the most, did u believe it right or did u question it, like why its baekhyun stans, if its true then since when they started hating chanyeol, and why do they hate chanyeol, does their reason make sense or its just stupid like how other bbhls who hate other exo members too (for example some bbhls hate jd bcs both are main vocalists and they think jd is stealing bh's spot as a vocalist) -But at the same time, we cant find the exact number that would proof that bbhls are the ones who hate chanyeol the most, we only can see what twitter shows us, and it happened to me too that i see bbhls throw hate to chanyeol the most -But at the same time too, I've been seeing yeolmaes who throw hate at baekhyun too since years ago without me knowing the reason why they do that, and I keep questioning it everytime why yeolmaes suddenly started hating baekhyun so bad, when did it start -AND at the same time too, I've been seeing other exo member stans throwing hate to either baekhyun or chanyeol -But my twitter algorithm is the same as you anon, it shows that bbhls hate chanyeol the most and yeolmaes hate baekhyun the most, so I do often make the assumption that bbhls and yeolmaes are always on each other's throat -But yet again, I don't know who started hating the first time, is it bbhls, is it yeolmaes, and why they did that -This knowledge is unknown to me so based on this, to me the most right way is to think that both sides are wrong because hating is always the worse way to deal with things, the fact that we know is chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends they are always there for each other, usually when ppl see im saying this they will say its fake and its fan service, but people can choose to not see what they dont wanna see, so the easiest proofs to prove that chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends is one chanyeol is the only member in exo that baekhyun wished happy birthday on his instagram, two both of them support each other for candy and 1 billion views by coming to the mv bts, three baekhyun and chanyeol go to vocal lessons together, four chanyeol had taken a photo with all of baekhyun's bucheon friends before so in that photo baekhyun, chanyeol, and baekhyun's bucheon friends (istg if people see these as fan service then it doesnt make sense right?)

Before we go to the next thing, I have this assumption that chanyeol and baekhyun are two members that have the highest popularity in sk, either they are the top 3 or top 4, and my reason is bcs everytime there are individual album/photobook covers sold offline, their individual covers sold out the fastest, everytime, even with nature republic stuffs, ok so there's this possibility that we keep seeing yeolmaes and bbhls on each other's throat everytime bcs well both of them are two of the most popular exo members in SK (i mean even in china, chanyeol and baekhyun are the most popular members with sehun, there's data for this)

2. You said: Baekhyun never say anything about this, he kinda "validated their feelings by not showing up to the box premiere and voiding mentioning him at all costs and straight up saying he doesnt like musical movies"

-First of all, let's look at a bigger picture, is there any idol in the k-industry like ANY IDOL that ever said to their fans "guys don't say that to my member" IS THERE. ANY.? what I know is: there is none, none at all zero zip nothing, and if there's at least one or two idols, then its just one or two idols right -And thats it anon, thats just about it, idols dont have the absolute freedom of speech, they never do, and its hurting them all of them, all they can say is: "I love EXO, I miss EXO members the most, EXO is my home" and most solo stans who see that will just say "its bs" yet solo stans are also asking for proofs that the members relationship are fine -None of these kpop idols ever say anything about hate speech from their fans that are thrown to their friends/bandmates, and this kind of thing happens in every fandom anon, not just chanyeol and baekhyun, it's just how korean entertainment industry is, idols never have the ultimate freedom to say or do anything

3. Not showing up to the box premiere, avoiding mentioning him, saying he doesnt like musical movies -That not showing up to the box premiere really changed the way you think huh anon, yeah I think that event also changed many yeolmaes' perspectives sighs okay, not showing up to the box premiere is like a very open information we can easily see it from one tweet that didnt mention baekhyun name during that event -BUT for other cases "avoid mentioning him" and "saying he doesnt like musical movies" is not a very open information, by this i mean u have to read alllll of the things baekhyun say, look at the trans for all of his vlives/shows/etc, read the whole trans for baekhyun's last vlive before he goes to the military, so u or other yeolmaes after that situation are either trying to "search for baekhyun's act or words that deny fans opinion about how they hate each other" bcs u still "have hope in baekhyun" or "search for baekhyun's act or words that support my perspective about how he hates chanyeol and never defend cy from bbhls" -"Validate their feelings" how? once again, it's just what bbhls think, did baekhyun do and say all of that because well "his motive is to support bbhls that hate chanyeol" and who are you, who are we to say that, are we our bias? can we go inside their minds and goes aha! this is why they do this and that! well no. because once again thats the entertainment industry, the chances for idols to "explain" all of the bad situations esp when its about how their fans act, is very veryyy low, or like the chance is even minus

-We are just fans who watch them on cam, without knowing what's on their mind or what is everything they are going through behind the camera, we know nothing, all of our opinions are just perspective that our mind created that turned into assumptions, we could never know the truth because kpop industry prevents their artist from showing the truths that may "hurt" people, who actually deserve to be hurt, but those people are the "money makers" for the company, it's bad it's toxic it's awful that just bcs they have to "maintain the money makers" idols can never get that freedom -Same goes with baekhyun, gdi we dont know him, we really really dont know him, his mind, his motives and reasons for his actions, who are we to judge him and call him selfish? -But what we know is baekhyun helping to defend chanyeol when that fake rumor was spreading by tweeting the mosquito thing, what we know is baekhyun and chanyeol doing their choreo for DFTF together that was practiced since early 2021 until before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun saying chanyeol he's fine when fans asked on japanese fansign, what we know is them still doing vocal lessons together, going to vocal lesson tgt too on march after the box premiere (bcs chanyeol's hair was grey in the vlog) before they enlist, what we know is baekhyun loving and singing "tomorrow" tgt with chanyeol, so what we know is they keep spending time with each other as bandmates and friends 

"do you ever take chanyeol's feeling into consideration, you all couldnt give less of a shit about chanyeol as person with feelings and are just a bunch of selfish pricks" 1. Baekhyun tweeting that mosquito tweet to defend chanyeol -Responses>> People went: oh he's just defending himself, he's being selfish once again, he doesnt care about chanyeol 2. Baekhyun answering fans question about chanyeol's condition -Responses>> No one translated this after few days OP has translated Original post Jan 29: https://twitter.com/tomo_exo/status/1355177834185064451?s=20 First ever translation on FEB 13 (AND FROM A CBKIST): https://twitter.com/NTH_2705/status/1360626904756228096?s=20 Also this cbkist isnt always active translating, I know her, she's not on Twitter as much as other trans account and she doesnt understand japanese, so she actually found the post on weibo and translated it from chinese thats why it was translated 2 weeks after, but before her? does ANY account translate this? well no. 3. Baekhyun and Chanyeol doing choreo in DFTF tgt -No BTS, no anything from SM, people who hate seeing them tgt can ignore easily, chanbaek stans can only watch the part over and over 4. Baekhyun and Chanyeol practicing their hitting the woah part in just usual mv -Again no one commented about this, except chanbaek stans bcs this is easily ignored 5. Lesson With Baekhyun -Responses>> yeolmaes went "chanyeol don't do this, chanyeol im not watching this, chanyeol what are you doing, i want chanyeol only, oh god why is chanyeol with him again, chanyeol is feeding chanbaekist, his fans (bbhls) gonna come at us again, fuck this im not watching" and bbhls went "the translation is wrong look theyre trying to sabotage bbh" and yeolmaes replied with "good for him haha, ya serves him right for being selfish" and also "why is it always chanyeol who does this kind of thing and never baekhyun? oh right because hes selfish hes sm golden boy he never gonna do this bcs his channel is own by SM" "look he promoted kyoongtube even in the nng" "look SM posted kyoongtube but not NNG u can see whos the mistreated one him"

All of those 5 things I mentioned, even tho some are small things....they got mostly negative responses from yeolmaes and bbhls who are not cbkist dont they? The things that prove chanyeol and baekhyun are always there for each other and they are bandmates, true friends, nothing change between them And yet, what did bbhls and yeolmaes do? Throw negative shits and comments to those things, esp Lesson With Baekhyun, and until now still hate Baekhyun... when Lesson With Baekhyun, is a vlog recorded by Chanyeol alone, he taped his phone in the car, he added Candy MV BTS with Baekhyun calling him "chanyeol ah" and baekhyun smiling while holding the food, a vlog where he praised baekhyun's vocals, prepared playlist for him, sing tomorrow together with him, laughing during their vocal lesson, and just...doing things tgt

And yet people still call it a fanservice? feeding chanbaekist? baekhyun is still selfish? when chanyeol worked hard preparing that vlog, providing it for us, baekhyun and chanyeol practicing their part tgt for DFTF, baekhyun tweeting the mosquito tweet

When Chanyeol and Baekhyun have done so many things together, after the fake rumor, after the box premiere, proving they are still good friends... so do you even take chanyeol's feelings into consideration? oh wait not just feelings, his efforts, his time, him uploading to NNG about him hanging out with Baekhyun, have you ever take that to consideration? or just ignore all those facts because "whatever i still hate baekhyun" 

So two options: 1. Hating and keep hating and telling others selfish because yall hate the fact that baekhyun never do this and that, that yall wanted him to do, but actually we don't know the reason why, we just don't know anything at all, accept assumptions that "baekhyun validated fans feeling" and thats according to you, your mind, your perspective, oh wait... it's all about you? 2. Know and accept and support and love, chanyeol and baekhyun's friendship, because thats what we know, thats what themselves say to us, thats what themselves been doing, accepting the fact that "chanyeol and baekhyun are good friends" and know we are not in the position to turn the friendship into bad relationship bcs what? bcs it comes from chanyeol and baekhyun themselves, not yeolmaes, not bbhls, not even exols, and so be a fan that know chanyeol and baekhyun have good relationship, keep reporting bbhls who said bad things about cy and vice versa, bcs what? we never want chanyeol to see that after lesson with baekhyun, apparently his "fans" still think baekhyun, his best friend and bandmate, is still a selfish person who doesnt care about chanyeol, so chanyeol is happy that we know and appreciate his relationship with baekhyun, with exo members because we care about chanyeol's feelings, because we trust his actions, his words, and we love everything he does, and also we love everyone around chanyeol that he loves

So choose... and last thing, are social media and on cam interactions, are enough to "measure" a group of people's relationships, so if your best friend never post any picture of you on their instagram and never tell stories about you to other people who well, actually are also strangers, living thousand miles away from you and your best friend, then it's okay for those strangers to say that your best friend hates you? avoiding to be affiliated with you? a selfish person? Have people ever think that it's tiring that just because you're a celebrity, you have to show everything, including minds, feelings, emotions, actions, personal reasons, to your fans? For them to be validated? And for them to turn into facts? Well, at least for me, the things I don't know then I don't know, I don't have the right to judge, and the things I know, especially positive things, that came from my own idols, that's what I'm holding on, that's what I support. *extra note: exo members always call us as EXO-Ls, not bbhls, not yeolmaes, not anyone, but EXO-Ls, so when they say they love us, "loved ones" are those who say themselves are EXO-Ls, who loves EXO as 9 members, because that's the fact

Have a good day anon, stay safe and healthy, God bless you, spread love and not hate

[simba112995]

Hey! No, you got the numbers right!

I'm Simba112995,

(not proof reading, you're not worth my time, but you are worth this message)

I'm now 28 years old, and I found this post while talking to my partner about how I was relentlessly bullied by so many of you over at TLKFAA while visiting them for a convention.

I didn't grow up in a loving home. Being autistic didnt help making friends at school either. Not going to go into it but I was heavily abused, the kind adults dont usually escape alive. The Lion King was one of my autistic fixations. I felt happy watching it and not many things did that to me growing up. Most of my life, I wanted to die. The first time I ever attempted to end my own life I waa 6. I wasn't allowed outside unless I snuck out or got lucky. I wasn't allowed to see friends outside of school and church. Add to that. I didn't really have friends because I was a weird kid. I confided in the internet like most do for an escape. TLKFAA seemed like it was gonna give me some form of hope. Lmfao no

You guys were some of the worst bullies I ever dealt with. You guys didnt want me off the site, you guys wanted me dead. You guys PLEADED for me to kill myself and would BEG me to everyday on Sketcher. I literally just didnt know how to make friends. You all seemed so cool to me. I was slammed with slurs, death threats, HATE ART, I recived actual letters in my mail threatening my life, my parents would get emails from random people doing just the same which would lead to my mom beating me with the brass end of a leather braided belt. Sometimes I'd be put outside with no clothes on and made to stand up in tempatures below freezing.

And you know what was EXTREMELY disgusting about it all? I was fucking 10-12 and you guys would acknowledge that and STILL would push.

YOU ALL FOUND IT ALRIGHT TO GASLIGHT A CHILD THAT THE ONLY WAY TO END THE BULLYING WAS BY TAKING MY LIFE.

And you know what? I actually did end up trying several times and failed because of you all. I use to pray to God that he would kill me because he messed up putting me on this planet. No one wanted me. Not even my own family. I had no friends, and everywhere I went I was just told to kill myself. Felt like an even bigger disappointment every time I failed because of you all. I'm so glad I failed. I've achieved dreams you all wanted to see fail for all of yalls amusement.

Erased Sketcher art? You all would erase mine! Would spend HOURS and Naz, Kaz(¿) and they're friends would erase mine. So, I erased yalls! Anytime I'd draw something it's get erased. I recall putting a peice of art on my DA back in the day bc I was SOOO happy one of yall would talk to me. Whenever I posted anything about how much I loved TLK, you all would just make fun of me!

And with buying a lion? For fuck sake I was TEN.YEARS.OLD. I'm 28 now. No, I do not have any intentions of buying a big cat. Ever. I got to help watch over 1 lion, and 2 tigers in an emergency situation where someone had to run off and I was legit the only person there. Incredibly irresponsible for the now closed rescue, but it was 18 years ago. The girl just sprinted away and said "watch them and dont leave", so I did. I don't fucking know why they did it, but they let me! No one believed me and thought I was trolling and I get that. Sounds like bs. But even if I was lying, which I wasn't, I was 10. But, that one moment planted an idea I'd own and be helping big cats! Again. I'm 28, no I'm not buying and fucking big cats I can hardly afford to live anyhow in this crippling economy. Plus, I dont support any of that minus legitmate rescues in safe, appropriate facilities getting the care they need.

I also remember once I wanted a white tiger with blue stripes as an OC, and you all hammered on to me because I was inspired by anither artist who drew a tiger with blue stripes. Again, followed by messages to kill myself.

I'm so glad I found this post. For years I've told people how bad you guys made my adolescent life when I was just trying to find a place to fit in. I did find that in the furry fandom, which I was also apart of then, and am even more active in now. I found a family there.

Whoever you were back then, I hope you have the life you deserve. Maybe you changed. I forgave those who bullied me ESPECIALLY on that site so I could move forward in life. I will NEVER forget you monsters. I would love to ask you questions on why you guys thought it'd be funny to make a 10-12 year old attempt to kill themselves! But if you aren't mature enough, that's understandable given how you acted.

Fuck you,

Simba112995

What exactly makes TLKFAA so special compared to DeviantArt? I understand it's for TLK-exclusive art and they do contests and all, but what's different about it? What's wrong with just posting the stuff to DA? To an outsider (not the SP ones) looking in, it might make the fandom look more obsessive than it is if they have a whole website dedicated to just fan art for the movies.

It’s where I started in the TLK fandom making it my first fandom home. Sure you’ve got your asshole drama queens and attention whores faking dying for pity parties but it’s very friendly there. I guess it might look like an obsessed fandom but it really isn’t. I haven’t run into any TLK obsessed fans there except for this one that called him Simba112995 (I think I got the numbers right). He might’ve been a troll but he was a huge pain in the ass, coloring over other people’s art when they were drawing in Sketcher, an online drawing board where people can talk and sketch and collaborate. He also claimed he was going to buy himself a lion just because he could and he pissed off the entire group of us there with his selfishness. And I think he was the same person that screamed at me for shooing my kitty out of my computer room because how are I kick a cat out of any room at all and how dare I save money from having him chew up my computer wires! But other than that child whom I hope has matured over the years, it’s really calm and peaceful. 

[coolgirl]

Jason expert rate Jason’s designs

sorry for being late i was busy with school but now i’m free so to celebrate. jason indulgence.

pre-crisis not robin

very cute. i like that it has a lil more of flair to it? the collar and the lines on the gloves and the shorter cape.. also love it has pants. king rlly king. wonder if they already knew he was gonna be robin anyways or if they were still considering nightbird. anyways, 8/10 bc its cute

pre & post-crisis robin (bc its basically the same)

i mean its a classic.. however it reminds me jason was the only robin who was simply given dick’s clothes rather than like. have an unique look? which sucks. 7/10 middle child syndrome is REAL

post-crisis robin (winter edition)

OKAY NOW THIS. i absolutely love. is it tacky? oh yes without a doubt. i still love the pants and the sleeves. finally winter clothes for this child, especially considering his new titans scene where he was bitching about the costume not being snow proof. he got what he wanted! 9/10

new 52/rebirth costume by

EPIC. IDC I LOVE IT.the circles on his arms and his boots.. the lines on his legs.. i just love it. i love the red mask too… it feels.. not more unique, but feels more jason-y than the other costume. 10/10

NOW. onto older stuff

hush

as u can see im VERY confusion about the pouches and the straps?? why??? whats the purpose.. generally its fine. the white strand moved a nation and i think the chest piece is cool, but everything else.. uglee. like the long as hell jacket and him looking 40 years old like why r u 19 looking like fifty? ugly white man. 5/10

winicks/utrh version

LITERALLY A CLASSIC. i love this costume sooo much. like jason obviously grew out of it, as in it wouldnt make sense for him anymore to go with something like this as his main costume because i feel like this fit the utrh mood (him not veing a vigilante/hero/villain whatver but trying to be a mob boss n shit) and it just. fucks. i love the helmet just being plain with no stupid mouth or nose shape. i simply love it. 10/10

nigthwing

its just. its just the nightwing costume. didnt even try he just stole that from dick. he still rocks it and looks better than dick, and u gotta give him points for accessorizing with his dagger. 7/10

red robin 

im not. a big fan of this costume.. i think the cowl is ugly, it just does not work for someone as big as jason… however i do like why he took this mantle and what it meant.. 6/10 no words head empty. 

oh brother. furryman

ITS SUCH AN UGLY COSTUME. muzzle batman walked so muzzle red hood could run. its just. ugly like ugly. i dont like the ears or again the muzzle or whatever the hell is going on in the arms.. its just so edgy. 5/10

WANNA KNOW WHAT A SEXY EVIL BATMAN COSTUME LOOK LIKE?

Injustice 2 batman

I2 HAD IT IN THE BAG BABY. i like that its like classic batman costume but again! with some jason touches! the red eyes, the electric tiddies making a comeback.. epic genuinely epic. 10/10

and if ur not into evil jason

100% dad ‘i have my life figured out’ batman jason 

just like the nightwing costume this is just. batman costume. nothing special or different from it so its like did u even try? BUT in this scenario it actually means smth that he stuck to bruces costume.. sweet.. but boring. 7/10

speaking of. evil ugly designs. ugh i hate this.

this motherfucker

ive never. ever. felt as humiliated by a costume than thetime jason wore this. like MORTIFYING RLLY. its DISGUSTINGGG. the helmet shape. the fucking WHITE. the SKULL PLEASE WHO DESIGNED THIS WHO HATES ME IN PARTICULAR SO MUCH??? THIS MAN DOES NOT FUCK! HES UGLY! HE STINKS!!!! the red guns are epic that much i can say. LOOK AT THOSE PANS GOD ITS SO HUMILLIATING. 0/10 WORST COSTUME EVER.

HOWEVER. winick and the artist spun GOLD from it, because next time jason wore possibly my favorite costume to date

this motherfucker…2!

like look how much better it looks with a little of swag.. the helmet without eyes.. the belts.. the fucking leather jacket.. keeping the red guns/gloves.. like seriously i dont know a better man. the skull is still awful and i wouldve replaced the white for black and MWAH best costume. like the black part at the top make it all red and the white make it black.. god this jason fucks massively i love him. 11/10 my favorite by a landslide perhaps

new 52/rebirth red hood

OKAY I KNOW theyre slightly different (rebirth has shorter sleeves and a more padded look) but to me its like. same thing. okay i think its.. fine. its not phenomenal but its not ugly.. i like the brown jacket more than the black jacket i have to admit, its more distinctive and i simply like the color more, however i do not.. like jason having the bat symbol.. but thats also a me thing about how badly written this is. anyways. the helmet with the mouth disgusts me and everytime its drawn like that its humilliating. like. 7/10. maybe 7+. when it has the mouth or like nose ANY FACIAL EXPRESSION RLLY its a 5. 

wingman

oh i absolutely despise that helmet. he looks like fucking. terminator. its the ugliest shape ive ever seen and the visor is.. huge. i dont like the shoulder pads either idk what the fuck its going on with the thing around his neck either.. like hes. knockout batman and i HATEEE IT. damians costume slaps tho. i just… its… ugly. like.. 3/10. 

get damian back arc red hood costume

oh im a HUGE fan of this design.i love how his costume is designed in a way thats like. if jason was a dnd character he absolutely would be a tank. the padding, the red undertones everywhere, i just.. love it. i like how all the costumes were done to reflect their personalities you know.. i like this robin red hood hybrid. 9/10 would even say 10/10 bc i just enjoy how gleason draws jason.

red hood/arsenal costume

its like. i dont hate it completely (i love the way the hood+helmet looks) and thats.. yeah thats pretty much all i like about it. i HATEEEE the vest i hate it fr.i hate how huge the sumbol is and idk this costume just does not spark joy. 5/10

outlaw costume

okay this one. this one drives me insane. because like. okay i dig parts of it. i like the lack of sleeves. i like the gloves thingies. i like the hood. i could get aboard him ditching the helmet - it breaks all the damn time anyways. i like the stripes on his pants in the boots. ALL SEPARATE? NEAT. now i hate. hate. the muzzle. like WHY IT LOOKS SO UGLYYY LIKE SO UGLY like unless the artist GETS IT and is SEXY it looks awful. look at this

AWFUL. also like it made sense for when he was on the run and he had to make do and assemble a costume from what he had but like now hes sponsored by lex, get that man a goddamn new suit already please. anyways. 6/10.. like i said i like many elements from it but its still.. kinda ugly all together and depends A LOT on the artist.

three jokers

im torn on this one.. i think its a bit boring.. i dont rlly like the top part, it reminds me SOO much of that one tt issue where he beat the fuck out of tim while wearing a robin costume like i understad the implications of him wearing a costume thats similar to the robin blouse but im not a big fan.. also i prefer the brown leather jacket. its like not his worst costume by far but not the best.. like pretty basic?  i would say 6/10

NOW SOME AUS.

tiny titans & lil gotham

okay these two are like. pretty much the canon versions of robin and red hood HOWEVER they both have details that are different from the original version and DESERVE a mention. the curls on robin jason and jasons red gloves/belt are ICONIC. whoever designed them knew what they were about, so 10/10 best bapy jason.

arkham knight

does the person who designed this know how much theyve done for the lgbt community? i hope they do. i love.. a lot about this costume. i love the ears, i love how techno it is, i love the layers to it.. im.. not a big fan of the whole military thingy but i have to admit that applying it to the design itself is kind of neat.. i love the colors too and how.. practical it is while being. well. kinda dramatic? the whole bat aesthetic.. yeah. i love it. 9/10

arkham red hood

this one.. when u think about it the outlaw version is VEEERY similar to this one: the pants, the hood, the jacket eve. however i like this helmet so much more, i have a weakness for eyeless (??) helmets.. i like the little details of it as well, i remember that pic going around of it being held together with like. fuckign stitches and bandaids. legendary. i love this look, i would say 9+/10

injustice 2 jason

okay gonna go ahead and say it: not a big fan of the helmet. it looks like.. a bug? the lenses do not spark joy. this bitch has many styles and like toners etc and i will no rate them all. i think its a pretty basic design, not the best but not the worst either. like if it was an exam i would make them pass but make faces at what im reading like eeehhhgh. 7/10.

hag jason

middle one is like literally, on the outside and superficial level, just. his usual costume. the jacket and the grey kevlar and the bat. now the gloves are sexy as hell.. and in the whit ebackground one u can appreciate the under costume better and i really like it?? i just.. like the design. I HATE HOWEVER the bat helmet. WHY IS IT HOLLOW?? BITCH HELLO?? AND THE BATMAN SYMBOL DOES NOT MAKE SENSE! and i like things making sense!!!. we will not talk about jason in this book. like.. 8/10. maybe 9 if im feeling it.

hag jason 2: the hagger and the furious

hes just.. a little old man.. he cannot change this.. i like this design. i like seeing jason grow old. wish it wasnt in this context. my father rlly. 8/10

—-

am i forgetting any jays.. i wont do all animated robins because they all look the same and the one that doesnt i do not like. SO HERES my thoughts..

[alyas-ladyblog]

A Not So Brief Hiatus P.2

First Next

Ao3

We got the continuation! This one pics up pretty much where the last one left off. Hope you guys enjoy!

Nino 9:32pm: made a really great beat for Kitty Section today theyre planning on using it for an upcoming song :D

Alya 9:38pm: that’s great babe :)

Nino 9:39pm: Roses planning on using it for a song abt death metal fairies or something. gna be rlly cool!

Alya 9:43pm: happy for you!!

Nino 9:44pm: wbu? Whatve u been up to today b?

Alya 9:58pm: nothing much. Was pretty wiped after the akuma.

Nino 9:59: figured u were bc u didn’t update the Ladyblog a minute after getting back to class ;)

Alya 10:05pm: yeah this akuma was definitely tougher than most.

Nino 10:06pm: u ok b?

Alya 10:11pm: yeah, why wouldn’t I be?

Nino 10:11pm: idk u just seem kinda quiet

Alya 10:18pm: don’t worry, I’m just tired, thank you for checking on me though :)

Nino 10:19pm: i mean id be a pretty bad boyfriend if i didnt

10:24pm: u know u can lmk if u need anything right?

Alya 10:26pm: just more proof you’re a great boyfriend. And I know and I appreciate it<3

Nino 10:27pm: wanna train together this wknd? Found a p intense new workout that could be good

10:40pm: Alya?

Alya 10:45pm: I need to tell you something.

Nino 10:45pm: ofc, whats up?

Alya 10:50pm: I’m meeting up with Ladybug tonight. I’m planning on surrendering my miraculous.

Nino 10:50pm: what???

10:52pm: Babe what happened?

10:57pm: Babe please answer me

Alya 11:00pm: Ladybug is here. I promise I will fill you in with the details when I get back. Love you.

—-

Ladybug gaped at her friend.

Rena Rouge continued to stare out at the Paris skyline, though Ladybug noticed how her lip wobbled.

Ladybug sighed, scooting closer and draping her arm over Rena.

“I don’t see why I would need to,” she said softly. “I’m quite happy with the Fox I have.”

“I don’t want to be the Fox anymore.”

“Isn’t this your dream?”

Rena paused. “It was.”

“What changed?”

Rena sniffled and turned away. “I’m not a good friend. How can I be a good hero?”

Ladybug’s eyes sharpened. “Who told you you weren’t a good friend? Whoever they are, they’re wrong.”

“I did,” Rena said quietly.

Ladybug placed her hand over Rena’s. “Why would you say that about yourself?”

“Because it’s true.”

Ladybug felt her chest tighten. “What makes you think that?”

“It’s my best friend, Marinette,” Rena said, and Ladybug flinched. “She’s been...acting strange around me lately, you know?”

Marinette racked her brain, but couldn’t think of anything she’d done that would make Alya jump to this conclusion. “What do you mean by strange?”

“Well, it’s more of a gut feeling than anything. She’s just as kind and giving as usual, but something’s off you know? She’s normally so animated around me and just-the past few weeks I noticed that she’s been more restrained and guarded around me. It’s not anything she says but her mannerisms are more closed off, and she’s not as emotionally open with me.”

Ladybug sighed. It seems Alya was just as good at reading Marinette as she was at reading Alya. “Have you tried talking to her?”

Rena drew her legs to her chest. “She evades the topic anytime I bring it up.”

Ladybug felt a pang of guilt. “Communication is a two way street,” she said, rubbing Alya’s back. “If Marinette has something she wants to talk to you about, she needs to speak up. You’ve given her opportunities and she’s avoided them. This doesn’t fall solely on you.”

“But she doesn’t feel safe talking to me, that’s the problem.” Rena put her chin on her knees. “And can you blame her?” She said softly. “Since she didn’t want to talk, I started thinking about what could have caused her to close off,” she explained. “The list was long.” Rena’s fingers gripped her arms.

“Pushing her into situations she’s not comfortable with, disregarding her feelings, pressuring her, guilting her, throwing her under the bus when she’s not around, blowing her off to hang out with my boyfriend, offloading my siblings onto her to go hang out with my boyfriend, the list goes on,” Rena laughed bitterly. “Marinette has been nothing but kind and considerate, which makes it even worse.”

Ladybug paused. “I think you’re being harder on yourself than you need to be,” she said cautiously.

Rena sniffled. “It’s ok Ladybug you can say it. I’ve been a bad friend.”

Ladybug shook her head. “No, you haven’t. I’m glad you’re being self reflective and thinking about how you could be a better friend, but everyone has their flaws. The fact you’re able to identify yours tells me you’re dedicated to improving and becoming a better person, and that’s the kind of friend I would want at my side.”

Rena looked down, releasing one of her legs, which dangled freely over the edge.

Ladybug draped her arm over Rena’s shoulder again. “If you ask me, Marinette is lucky to have someone as lovely as you as her friend,” she said with a smile.

Rena leaned into Ladybug’s embrace. “I still want you to find a new Fox,” she said softly.

Ladybug sighed. “If that’s truly what you want, I cannot and will not force you to remain the Fox. But Alya-” Ladybug gently turned Rena Rouge to face her. “If you give up the mantle of the Fox, I’ll have to find a new one, I can’t guarantee you’ll ever take it up again.”

Rena nodded. “I’ve made my peace with that,” she said softly. “These past months have meant the world to me, but all this hero stuff means nothing if I’m losing touch with those I care about.”

“What about Carapace?”

“I already told him I’m giving up the mantle,” Rena said. “I haven’t talked it over with him and I’m sure he’ll be upset but he’ll understand. He always does.”

Ladybug felt her throat tighten, and she pulled Rena in for a hug. “I’m gonna miss you,” she said. “But I respect your decision.”

—-

Rena Rouge lifted up her window and slipped inside. She gestured at Ladybug, who followed suit.

Rena looked down, taking one last good look at herself. She closed her eyes and exhaled. “Trixx, let’s rest.”

Trixx shot out of the necklace, flying up to Alya’s face. The usually jovial kwami’s face looked uncharacteristically muted.

“You won’t be coming back, huh Kit?”

Alya swallowed and nodded.

“I could feel it the second you transformed-there was a sort of finality to it. No need to apologize,” he added, and Alya closed her mouth. “Being a hero isn’t all fun and games. It impacts your personal life. You need to prioritize you. There’s no shame in recentering.”

Alya smiled, removing the necklace. “I’m gonna miss you Trixx.”

Trixx flashed her a grin. “Oh I’m sure our paths will cross again someday, even if you’re not the one donning the suit.” His face softened. “I’ll miss you too Alya,” he said, diving back into the necklace.

Alya presented the box to the spotted heroine. “Thank you for this opportunity Ladybug.”

Ladybug took the box, and pulled Alya in for a hug. “For the record,” she said, “our time together has meant the world to me too.”

Ladybug pulled back, climbing out onto the window.

She looked back at Alya and paused.

Her friend grinned and gave her a nod.

Ladybug smiled sadly, and saluted her friend. “Bye Alya.”

[qtjeno]

Boyfriend! Ten Scenarios

i feel like this was requested 10 years ago omg im so sorry shfjaniubfeuioqn also i didnt proof read bcs i just woke up and its like 10 am.

Confession

oh

you would hate ten

like so much

and like tbh he didnt deserve it

and you knew that

but you just did not like him

he was so cocky

and you guys went to the same dance studio

you weren’t extremly serious about dance

but ten was

you thought sometimes he took it too seriously

and like if you were given the chance to punch him, you would have

you guys rarely talked, but you have known him since primary/ elementary school

well,, known of him

he was quiet

but he was one of the kids who moved to the school and immediatly became popular

and he had a set group of friends

and you wanted nothing to do with that group

there was always drama

and someone from the group was always dating a new person every week

on the other end of the table

ten actually highkey lowkey had a crush on you

and luckily for ten

you guys had a mutual friend

johnny was your cousin and was apart of ten’s friend group

yes

the friend group

the one you despised

but you didn’t mind johnny as much

bcs you guys grew up together

and you knew johnny well

so the only time you would willingly be near ten was when you had to talk to johnny

and he would get flustered when you smile or laugh

but he is good at hiding it

eventually johnny caught on

and at lunch he asked ten if he had a crush on you

and he tried to deny it

but johnny isnt an idiot sometimes

so ten eventually gives in

and after that johnny tries to get you to hang out around him more

like he stops you in the halls more often

and ur like ‘what????’

and he says something stupid

ex.

“did you know that oreos are v e g a n”

“johnny, i dont care”

just so that you’re near ten

what a good wingman 

but ten is definetly getting teased by johnny

but gradually you start hanging out with johnny more

bcs he stops you every five seconds to talk

so you might as well hang around him

you try your best to avoid him while the school is busy

bcs you dont want to slowly become apart of his friend group

that isn’t your cup of tea

but during free block (study hall) you hang out with johnny, ten, mark, jaehyun, and sometimes lucas

lucas insists on calling it the ‘english squad’ 

you have rejected this

slowly you realize that they aren’t assholes

and that ten isn’t that cocky

he is acually really quiet

and dances really well

also he is cute

ten starts to get more comfortable with you instead of being flustered

and for a while everyone thought you were dating bcs you guys hung around each other so often

and ur like ‘lmao i wish’ in ur head

and your friends were like ‘ i though you hated ‘them’”

so after a while ten gets his goddamn head out of his ass

and ask you out

after johnny got mad at him bcs ten thought that you didn’t like him

i feel like ten asking you out would be really chill

so he asks you to walk with him to the studio one day

and you happily accept, but wonder why the other boys aren’t coming on the walk since you guys usually walk to your destinations after school together

as you walk you both steal glances at each other

until once you catch him when you were trying to look at him

and he starts blushing

and the words “you’re so cute” slips out of your mouth

and he looks stunned

and you get really quiet and can’t look at him

and then he turns you to face him

and he says “you’re cute too”

and kisses your forehead

and that was his kind of way of asking you out i guess???

like you got the message

and after that y’all got more comfy with one another

so he unofficially asked you out

Dates

ooh ten would be so cliche

amusement park dates? yes

cafe dates? yes

park dates? yES

ten is very hyper once you get to know him

sometimes you wonder how he screams so loudly when in public hes so quiet

you swear he is a different person

he would want to make dates the best they could possibly be

especially when he is busy

bcs he feels like he owes it to you

but he is also always down to just sit around at your house and just talk

a lot of the time while you guys are walking to your date destination 

he would just admire you

and you realize and get all nervous

and you have to tell him to stop

and he will have that cute ass smile and ask why

uwu my heart

when you guys are at cafes you probably like to take pics of ur drinks and snacks before yall can eat

and he gets whiny

“y/n LEt mE eAT!”’

‘‘GiVE mE a MinUtE thE LighTinG isNt RIGHT!!”

i dont think he would mind pda that much

bcs hes a flirt as it is

and he would always have his arm around you

and he would always hug you whenever he felt like it lmao

a lot of the time yall just go on quick dates after dance practice

maybe just go to a small restraunt

or a convenience store and make some ramen

he is such a softie

he probably likes to squish your cheeks and then peck your lips

you probably go to his dance comps

and he goes to yours

but youre literally out here screaming

bcs did you see that?!

you see that??!!!?!?!

ITS LEGEND

The Best Moments

did someone say THE legendary dance couple

yea they did

i know

because it was me

your dance studio probably has a youtube channel

kinda like 1 million dance studio

and everyone @ the nct dance academy posts on it when they cover choreos or make original choreos

and so you and ten often do dances together

and ppl deadass probably stan yall

like who yall stan in nda

lmao ten and y/n, how bout u

catch yall covering trouble maker

wow legends

yall are probably around the same height

bcs ten aint that tall

so youre just the right height to smack him on the back of the head when he makes an inapropriate joke

also fruits?

illegal

bcs i guess fruits are s c a r y

and he refuses to tell you why

but you respect him

and your like

“fine ill just take the strawberries back to my place”

you probably ocassionally stay up late

and he’ll text you

“you up?”

and you’ll say yea

and he’ll ask you if he can come over bcs it was a really long day and he wants to see you

and thatll make your heart ache

bcs ur literal sweet uwu baby boy wants to see you

and when he comes over he immdeiatly hugs you

and you can see the exhaustion in his face

and so yoou guys just cuddle in bed

and he rants to you about his problems 

and you listen while you run your hands through his hair

uwu my heart

uwu his heart

uwu your heart

extras!

[jamesniall]

Hey I’m not the anon that u talked about but I follow u on twitter and wanna let u know that don’t worry!!!! That happened to me a few days ago too djdnxjsn. Are you posting today?

ahhh HI OMG thank u for understanding :’)

IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING bc i got it all written but there’s lil things to edit and words to change a bit but it was basically done and then the power went out and refused to come back for 7 hours :/

as soon as it came back i got to it but im sleeeeepy and i have a family thing tomorrow morning (basically today wow it’s 4 am) so i can’t post it until the afternoon :( BUT YES TODAY IT’LL BE POSTED FINALLY. NOTHING WILL STOP ME FROM POSTING IT TODAY.

if u want, and for the other super patient and lovely anon as well, here’s a lil preview of it; the first out of the 5 + 1 things of this fic!

(as i said, it still needs to be proof read again so if u find mistakes pls pretend u didnt, im gonna get to them tomorrow sdkfhds but yeah there u have 1,5k of this monster of a fic that took over 2 months of my life lmao what started as a lil hurt/comfort fic ended up in a 18k monster of developing relationship hurt/comfort and angst with a cHEESY ending wow)

Having the night shift at the E.R onFriday nights it’s always a chore. Harry always tries his best to change itwith one of his colleagues, even if he has to take Monday’s morning shift whereeveryone comes with the silliest symptoms to get some excuse to get out oftheir jobs for a couple days.

This time, however, Liam has a familything he can’t get out of and Harry has to cover the night shift.

It goes as he expected it.

Drunk college students with alcoholpoisoning are the most common gig of the night, followed by guys withconcussions and broken noses that can only be attributed to bar fights.

It’s around 10 pm when he’s making a roundthrough the new arrivals when he sees a guy sitting in the waiting room withwhat seems to be a scarf wrapped around his left arm and a guitar tightlyclutched in his right hand.

He looks downright miserable. Soaked tothe bone – though Harry doesn’t recall it raining when he started his shift –hair plastered to his forehead and a bruise in his right cheek that he can tellit’s gonna swell and hurt as fuck tomorrow morning.

He takes a look around the room andfigures he’s the most interesting case he can get out of the night.

“Hello there, I’m Doctor Styles. Did thenurse give you the triage paper?” He asks, looking down at the brown hairedguy, who startles at his voice.

“Oh, hi, yes, uh,” he searches around hispockets for a bit, hissing when he disturbs his homemade bandage, Harry doesn’tknow if he’s hiding a broken, burnt or cut arm, but he’s sure the scarf it’snot wrapped up properly for none of those situations.

He finally finds a yellow crumbled uppaper in the pocket of his jeans, “thought the red papers got attention first.”He says, looking up to Harry and handing him the paper.

“Yeah, Friday nights are usually full ofyellow ones, though.” Harry says, scanning the paper quickly and seeing Niall J. Horan, 25 year old male, reportedbar fight, probable broken wrist, no signs of concussion, vitals on order, pain8/10. “How’s your pain right now?”

“Out of ten? It’s been simmering between 8and 9 for the last hour,” Niall replies with a shrug. “Nurse told me x-rayswere necessary but that I’d have to leave my guitar outside,” he continues, “Irefused, because have you seen the people around this place? They’re all drunk.No way I’m leaving it out here only to find it broken, so if you can tell mewhat to do or what to take for the pain I’d appreciate it so I can go home.”

“You could have a broken wrist, judging bythe pain I’m pretty sure that’s the case, isn’t getting the x-ray moreimportant than a guitar?” Harry asks, an amused smile making his way through asNiall splutters and shakes his head.

“’Course it’s more important, she’s one ofa kind. Actually my arm might be broken because I fell out of the stage toprotect her.” He states. A stubborn frown taking over his face.

“Alright,” Harry nods, “You can leave itin my office while we do x-rays and get you proper treatment. That way both ofyou will be safe.”

“Really?” Niall asks, “Hey, thank youmate! I hope it’s not a bother.”

“None at all, just follow me and we’ll getit done quick enough.”

-

Half an hour later Niall’s sitting in astretcher as Harry wraps up his broken wrist properly. His guitar restingbeside him. “I cannot help but ask, what did you mean you fell out of a stageto save your guitar?”

“Oh,” he laughs, “well, you see, I play inthis bar on Friday nights, to help a bit with the bills, you know? Being ajust-graduated-nutritionist doesn’t give you much, so I was there, justchilling, getting ready to finish the set, when a bunch of assholes startedfighting, throwing punches and chairs and tables went flying. My guitar was inthe direct line of fire.” He says, pausing a bit to swallow harshly as Harrymoves his arm to check the blood flow is alright and the bandages are justtight enough. “So I try to yell at ‘em to be careful but just as I was about toreach the guitar and leave a guy was pushed over, I can only guess he was deaddrunk, because he didn’t even try to slow down the fall, and I could only seehis ass was for sure gonna land on my guitar, so I jumped head first to grab itand he fell on me, I fell on the corner of the stage, thus the bruising.”

“Is that why you told the nurse the reasonof all this was a bar fight?”

“Well, technically it all started with abar fight, but as I was about to explain it all she just went and rolled hiseyes and gave me a yellow paper.” Niall says, a sour look on his face, “realrude of her, you know.”

“Yeah, you’ll have to forgive her,” Harrysays with a small smile, “we don’t get much of anything other than bar fightson Friday nights.” He continues, handing Niall a sheet of paper with hisprescribed pain medication.

“Do I have to come for you to take a lookat it again? Like, remove the bandage or something?” Niall asks, looking a bitforlornly at the piece of paper.

“Oh, yeah but not here, exactly. You cancall this number,” he says, handing Niall a small card that just says Liam Payne and two phone numbers. “He’sthe best orthopedist you’ll ever find in this hospital. He’ll do an x-ray,check everything’s alright and in about 4 weeks you’ll be bandages free.” Hefinishes, smiling despite the fact that Niall looks kind of sad. Disappointedeven. “He really is the best, you’ve got nothing to be scared of, he’ll takegood care of you.”

“Not as good as you,” Niall mutters underhis breath as Harry turns his back on him to open the curtain that wasseparating them from the rest of the E.R.

“What was that?” Harry asks.

“Oh, nothing, just. Thinking out loudabout whether I should try to find a bus or just walk home.”

“I can call you a cab if you’d like.”Harry offers. Helping Niall gather his guitar, papers and card without losinganything.

“No, that’s alright. I left my jacket atthe bar so I have no change with me, just my very loyal Oyster card and twowell-functioning legs.”

“It’s really late, Niall, really. I canlend you some, it’s no trouble.” Harry says, searching in his pockets for hiswallet, “I’d be no good of me as a doctor if I fix you up only to let you walkhome at two in the morning. Cab is the safest option.”

“Also the most expensive,” Niall remarks,“we’re in an alright neighborhood and I live like half an hour from here, it’llbe alright.” Then, with a bit more of spark in his eyes, he says; “If you wantyou can give me your number and I can text you as soon as I get home.”

Harry seemed too busy looking into hiswallet to notice, though, “Here, just a couple of bucks. Just in case youdecide your house’s too far and you’re too tired or cold to keep walking.” Hesays, handing Niall a couple of folded bills. “Or in case you have nothing inyour Oyster card. Can’t never be too safe.”

He’s just finished talking when a beepcomes from his pocket. Eyes opening wide when he sees a red alert from hispager.

“Well, look at that. You can have a couplered cases on Friday nights too.” Harry says, shaking his head, “Have a niceevening. Don’t forget to pick up your meds tomorrow morning. What I just gaveyou we’ll be enough for the night but it might get really achey if you movearound a lot.” Harry says, walking fast towards the nurses’ station. “No guitarplaying, for at least a week, let you hand heal nicely. If there’s moreswelling, your fingers get really cold, dark or you can’t feel them or there’sany fever at all, please come back to the E.R immediately.” Harry says in arush as he checks the new triage papers. “Any questions?”

“Thank you.” Says Niall. “Really, you werethe nicest doctor I’ve ever met and I promise when I come back for that check-upI’ll hunt you down and pay you back.”

“No need,” Harry replies with a smile,“I’ve got to run. Have a safe trip home!”

And with that he leaves, back towards theentrance of the E.R where an ambulance is pulling in someone in a really bloodystretcher.

With a shudder, Niall turns to leave, notbefore looking back at Harry for the last time and saying to himself, “nexttime I’ll get his number.”

[meanderfall]

//pops out from under your desk, 1 - 3 - 5 - 9 - 13 - 14 - 17 - 19 - 23 - 28 - 29 - 31 - 34 - 37 - 40 - 41 - 45 - 47 - 51 - 52 - 55 - 56 - 59 - 67 - 68 - 69 - 72 - 75 - 79 - 80 - 83 - 93 - 95 - 99 - aaaaand 100!! its a lot (even more than YOU sent ME i think) so feel free to skip some if u dont wanna do them!!

I DID IT!!!! IN YOUR FACE!!! (i love u, i dont mean that. for the most part.)

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I actually don’t mind, even like it, when my cereal gets all soggy from milk, but if you think for a single moment im going to drown my cereal in milk, you are a mad man. Besides, I fill my bowl up past the rim, so it’s basically physically impossible for there to be more milk than cereal.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

you fool…. you underestimate my power…. i dont bookmark my page, i just remember the page number i was on

(When I was a kid, I would dog-ear the pages, but I think my brother got mad at me for doing that to his books, so i moved on to using tissues and then paperclip or magnetic bookmarks, and then keeping track of that shit was too much effort, so now i just remember the page number instead)

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

nay, friend! But I am self-conscious about my laugh… it’s… loud, as you might have noticed by now. To the point that a lot of my classmates just knew who I was because of my laugh.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

An easy way to tell if I’m in not having a good day is if I’m not singing or humming something. I grew up surrounded by people who love singing or whistling or humming, so it’s what I do. (I say people, but the main culprits were my dad and older brother.)

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

*whispers* getting a message from you…

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

ummm, there would need to be a separate room with sound-proofing for her piano and bird. I’d imagine there would be bookshelves on every wall, filled with so many books like goddamn. A couch and tv would be necessary for gaming. Im sure the place would be filled with her art projects (she once built a chair out of recyclable items for the end of year project!!!). She would probably want to have houseplants, bc she’s outdoorsy like that (disgusting i know). I don’t really care about wall colours, so she would probably pick and i would just voice my opinion if i really didn’t like the colour. She would probably bring paintings too. This question is too hard, i legit do not care at all about how my apartment would look, please. you would understand if you saw my room, just how little i truly care.

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

A purplish-red! Like so:

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

If you mean a journal where I keep all my thoughts and feelings in, then no, i do not. I have an app for that. If you mean a writing journal, then yes i have one, though i barely touch it tbh. I just scribble ideas and sometimes outlines, or even plan out history and culture for the fantasy worlds i create. I don’t really draw, unless im trying to create a map.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

well if today is anything to go by, it’s sleeping. I also like binge-watching comfort shows like Friends.

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset. They’re prettier to me and give off a different feeling than sunrises. It’s peaceful, a bit melancholy, and soft. a reminder that i’ve made it through another day and it’s time to rest.

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

i have this friend that i play overwatch with who likes to shout LMAO whenever they do something cool or badass that’s also completely ridiculous (like, say, making a goal in lucioball from their own goal)

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

socks are socks. they keep my toesies and feetsies warm, though i usually prefer to go barefoot, bc wearing socks implies that im going to wear shoes which means im going to leave the house which ew. i literally do not give a fuck what colour they are, as long as they do their job, so i got bright colourful socks, dark socks, and just plain white socks. i only wear my socks to bed when im too lazy to take them off at the end of the day and just end up forgetting that im even wearing them, though i don’t like it too much when i do that because my feet feel dried out afterwards. i have a pair of thick wooly socks that are dark blue with patterns of white snowflakes on them that i wear during winter, especially on days when im wearing my onesie.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

I didn’t have one. I mean, I had stuffed animals, but cuddling something that small when I was a kid was impossible for me to do. They just got in the way. The only thing I’ve ever shared my bed with besides blankets and pillows was my cat.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

pls go see drace’s ask im sorry i dont want to write it all again or copy and paste it.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

my aunt on my dad’s side visited one summer. she brought me two necklaces, both that i adore. One is a choker with real gold beads that used to belong to my grandmother, my dad’s mom. I never met her, she died long before any of the kids were born, so i consider very special, beyond the fact that it’s expensive and elegant. It’s pretty much the only connection i have to her.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

John Dies at the End!!! Along with Futuristic Violence and Fancy Suits, written by the same author!!! There’s so much character just from the narration, i wish i could write like that!! and it’s surprisingly deep too, i cannot recommend the two enough!!

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

i suppose i do, considering the few times i didn’t, my instincts ended up being completely right. 

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

drace’s ask pls.

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

I hate the fact that I immediately started thinking of characters instead of a person. Anyway, Hush by Emeline makes me think of @anthcny-stark

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

the distracted boyfriend is a definite fave. The floor is… is also pretty good. i thought roll safe and the white guy blinking was from 2016 but apparently not, and i quite enjoy them. i dont know if the reaction image of the dude saying “why would you say something so controversial yet so brave?” counts as meme, but i love a lot. all the other memes of 2017 are Bad.

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

I don’t know if this counts… But, at some point in high school, I got sick, with a fever at around 102, and like, I guess I wanted to prove that my family doesn’t actually care about me, and so, I didn’t say a word about being sick. I wanted to see if they would notice for themselves. I also didn’t take any kind of medication for it.

They did not notice. Which either proves that they pay little attention to me or I’m just a really really good actor. Or I spend little time with them.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

…………………………………….. i’ll be honest, i dont pay enough attention to other people in order to answer this, i spend most of my life in my own head and i ignore everyone. It’s kind of fun though, to see what other people do while on the train? Some people are texting, or playing games on their phones or listening to music. Others are reading. Some are just staring out the window, lost in thought, and others are hard at work on their laptops. It’s interesting, it’s like getting a hint of what kind of person they are just based on what they do.

59: what’s your favorite myth?

i don’t know and i don’t care, next! (nah seriously, i used to be into mythology, by i havent read a myth in so long and i really don’t care enough to go and find one i like)

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

see drace’s ask

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Cold!!! and windy. And so much goddamn snow, holy shit. And it lasts for months, like the snow lasts all the way to April some times. It’s very pretty though, and peaceful and i like it.

69: what are your favorite board games?

Sorry! is probably the one i like the most. though tbh, i didnt play a lot of board games.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

see drace’s ask

75: tell us about your pets!

pls go and see my answer on drace’s ask for the love of god im not rewriting all of that

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

One time, there was only two chocolate and white chocolate chip cookies left, so i let my younger two siblings have them, and they each decided to split their cookie in half and gave me a half, so i ended up with an entire cookie.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Three of them are white and one of them is like crimson. I did not choose this, the room came like that, and we never painted it a different colour.

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

I sure do like the album art for Atlas: Space 2 by Sleeping at Last and Atlas: Light.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Well, when I had long hair, I would usually wear it in a ponytail. My hair is too short for that now, so I just let it loose with its natural curls.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

ummm probably play overwatch with you??? idk man, i dont have school anymore or a job, so im just stuck in this horrible in-between moment with no purpose or goals and i might lose it if i don’t find something soon.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

In a Big Country by Big Country, Riptide by Vance Joy, Carry Your Throne by Jon Bellion, Saturn by Sleeping at Last,  Fear by Apsley, Exorcism by Clairity, Brian Wilson by Barenaked Ladies, Which Witch by Florence + The Machine, Pinch Me by Barenaked Ladies, Pompeii by Bastille, A Chance of Rain by Bedouin Soundclash, Gems by birthday, The Kids Aren’t Alright by Fall Out Boy, My Heart’s Grave by Faouzia, 100 Years by Five for Fighting, You Found Me by The Fray, Ready Aim Fire, I’m So Sorry, Believer, Dream, and Thunder Imagine Dragons, Irresistible Force by Jane’s Addiction, Money by Mystery Skulls, Afraid by The Neighbourhood, Just to Get High by Nickelback (which is weird considering i cant relate to this song like at all)This Afternoon, How You Remind Me, and Just For by NickelbackMy Demons, and Starlight by StarsetGo To War by Nothing MoreLose It, and All We Do by Oh WonderCounting Stars, and Secrets by OneRepublicWait For ItEmperor’s New Clothes by Panic! at the DiscoSOS, and Montreal by Raine MaidaStand by Rascal FlattsWhen the Truth Hunts You Down by Sam TinneszFall by Serena RyderStitches bby Shawn MendesSecond Chance by ShinedownEverybody by StabiloPieces by Sum 41Kings by Tribe SocietyKitchen Sink by Twenty One PilotsBeautiful Day, and Stuck in a Moment You Can’t Get Out Of by U2Shut Up and Dance, and Anna Sun by Walk the MoonUnsteady by X AmbassadorsEast of Eden, and 1965 by Zella DayBe Like That by 3 Doors Down

There!!! I went through every song i downloaded to pick out the songs that resonated with my soul. (I’m not touching by Spotify though lmao it would take at least five hours)

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Like. Going into the past would be nice because then I could redo all of the mistakes I made, and hopefully, I’d be in a better position than I am now. However, going through paths I’ve tread before sounds like it would suck a lot, and I’m much more curious about the future! What has changed? What is my life like then? Have I moved out? Do I have a job? A job I like? Did I make friends? What’s the political climate??? Going to the future would be much more interesting!!

[apgujeon]

how did jungkook look like in real life? does he look like he does in photos :o also what was the best part of the concert?

the best part of the concert? hmmm. that’s hard. the entire concert is worthy of being The Best Part. i loved their performances of lost, i need u etc. in the red outfits. every member made me gasp bc they looked even more vibrant and stunning. ummmmm… cypher. cypher was a highlight for me. hobi threw water at me. it was a holy moment. ANOTHER BEST PART: during lost, jungkook crouched right in front of me and was looking into the crowd towards my right. right before he got up, he made eye contact with me (in my direction??? lol) and when he turned away he smiled SHJDDSSDHJSDHJJSHSHJ. i have photographic and video proof too so now i can relive this moment for the rest of my life.

ok get ready for an essay abt jungkook sdhdhfjsj

jungkook does look like he does in photos, but there’s smth so magical abt seeing his face with your own eyes. he’s so fucking gorgeous :( during soundcheck he was wearing a white long sleeve with the sleeves rolled up + his fave baggy jeans. he’s so effortlessly handsome. he was just dancing casually to the songs… heaps of hip movements, lots of eye contact habdhdsbshdds and smirks here and there. is it,,, possible for smirks to be shy? bc that’s how i would describe his DJHFJFD. when he walked up to my side during soundcheck and jammed with the crowd, my friend and i pointed at him and when he noticed he directed one of those shy smirks at us killing us instantly. 

i thought i was prepared for the concert after soundcheck. but nothing prepared me for when vocal line rose up on the extended stage for the first time for ‘lost’. the air was whipped from my lungs, and it was not bc of how hard ppl were pushing. jungkook is captivating when he performs like, his movements are relaxed but very precise. and the best thing is watching his facial expressions while he dances…. they’re subtle but make his dancing that much BETTER. when he’s not smiling, his lids are nearly always heavy when he dances……..his expressions are usually very smouldery hhhjfdhfhdf im crying whilst i type this. 

also the rumours are true: jungkooks thighs are The Best Thighs™. and like i know everyone says he’s thicc, which he is, but he’s honestly very very lean and slim and has noticeably broad shoulders. also the prettiest nose and nose bridge award goes to him. i may be biased but his nose and just facial features in general, are 10 times sharper in person. he’s absolutely beautiful. i didnt think i could be more in love with him, but this concert proved me so very wrong.

i looked up for the first time and started laughing at how much i had written without knowing lmfao. i could do this all day and repeat this with every member TBH ! out of the other members, hobi caught my attention the most. i remember i gasped audibly every time he flashed one of his million dollar smiles at the crowd. ookokokk i need 2 stop. THANKS FOR READING IF UR HERE AND ALSO SORRY im incoherent and babble too much akkfdfjks

[uncrownedkings]

So...

ive been seeing a lot of rather cringy lgbt+-related rant videos and posts on tumblr. these kinds of thing has been going on for a while now. i think maybe its just totally inappropriate timing what with all the trump dilemma that made ppl become more triggered than usual, but its come to the point where i have to go out of my way to make both a rant and a psa out of this post.  or maybe ive been following the wrong ppl.

anyways, those cringy rant vids/posts. they are usually white teenage girls who go on and on about how someone called them “miss” when “excuse me????” *cough cough* “ACTUALLY, im genderfluid.” 

ok. howbout YOU excuse me. bc frankly, you look like a “miss”, so thats why i called you “miss”. i mean like i wont call you a bitch until you look like a female dog. OH MY!!!! im sorry!!! youre genderfluid. my bad. correction: a genderfluid dog. so yeah, dont you act all triggered just bc someone assumed your gender identity incorrectly. how could i tell when you have your boobs falling out of your shirt?? you dont exactly announce your gender to the world, do you??? its only fair that i would assume so. empathize with the ppl who arent exposed to the different lgbt spectrums. dont rant about it. TAKE ACTION and take the initiative to point out their mistake. youre genderfluid, fine with me. that is my mistake, sorry for being ignorant and not noticing. pls correct me. its simple as that. why dont you have the nerve to correct them when someone mistook your gender, but you have it in you to go to fucking tumblr to rant about it? the mistake isnt gonna fix itself when you do so. it only gets fixed when you point it out to the person who made that mistake. what is your purpose here???? are you trying to get sympathy or attention?? bc youre not getting any from me. i dont care and im sick of it. if you want someone who does, go tell your mother. 

yall lgbt ppl assumed this “dont assume” policy for yourselves. im willing to follow, but there will ofc be ppl out there who are not aware. dont blame them. from the moment any child is born, they are subjected to this hetero-normative view of how a person is identified as.  they are programmed from a young age that there is an order in which a person follows. if youre not female, youre male. there seems to be no other option. being lgbt creates the opportunity to be someone else. not all ppl are exposed to this. those who do take advantage of it. 

im part of the lgbt community myself (as i am bi), but im embarrassed for what some of you have done to demean the value of the lgbt community. its like how ppl seem to always be hating on feminists all over again, bc of some ppl taking it too far and dont fully understand what it means. just bc you dont conform to the norms of society when it comes to sexual orientation doesnt mean you get any special favour. my friends, even the gay ones, have been joking around about how “omg youre cant do _____ just bc im gay like thats not ok.” but i find the truth in what they joke around about. ppl from the lgbt seem to always be finding excuses to be offended when someone comments on their sexuality. 

take it from my experiences. i live near two schools, so there are lots of kids in my neighborhood. the school im going to is a very multicultural public school that has a lot of brown and asian kids (my squad), and the other school is a prestigious private school specializing in art that is predominantly white. both schools are very close, so we know the ins and outs of each other. admittedly, i have lots of friends from both of the schools: lgbt friends, non-lgbt friends, and friends who jokes/pretend that they are lgbt. my point is: i know this kid from the private school. there was a rumour that he is gay. i confronted to him and bluntly asked him if he is actually gay. he started yelling at me defensively, saying “do you have a problem??? you cant just hate me bc im gay.” I DID NOT DO ANYTHING. i didnt speak to him again. on the other hand, theres this muslim trangendered boy in my school. hes quite famous due to his gender identity. when i met him for the first time, i asked him if he is transgender. he was cool about it and just simply said “yeah. im pretty famous in this school arent i?” he didnt get offended. he didnt act defensively. we were off with a very good start. since our school are more multicultural than the private school, a lot of us coming from eastern countries. eastern countries are more conservative and they dont take kindly to “different” ppl. he worked hard to be who he wants to be, and he is confident with himself and his gender. 

not totally unrelated to this, but im a friend of a girl who goes to the private school. nice kid, very cute, great at dance. she usually dresses in pretty dresses and skirts. but one day, she came in with jeans, sweater, and short boyish hair. everyone was surprised. then she told everyone she is genderfluid. there were a lot of genderfluid ppl in the private school, not so much in my school. when i asked her how she knew, she said why not??

it seems like there is a trend on being lgbt+, especially in this demographic (white, female, teen). as soon as its openly accepted, ppl will conform to become a part of this new thing. even after joining tumblr and seeing all these new lgbt+ categories makes me question myself. i tried to fit myself into this label, and i feel that this is what is happening. before it is accepted in western countries, the idea was very hush hush. now that everyone is beginning to accept it, suddenly everyone is lgbt. not like “oh im closeted bc lgbt is not accepted and now im out bc its accepted.” no, its like “oh this lgbt thing is pretty new! lets see which category i THINK i fit in the best and squeeze myself into this label.” im sorry, if youre an actual lgbt veteran and you have been fighting all your life for acceptance and equal rights. but there are ppl who are trying to conform to this lgbt+ “thing” bc it seems like everyone is out as well. there are even some ppl who would go out of there way to make a point that they ARE indeed lgbt+. you cant just wake up one morning and decide that youre suddenly asexual, or pansexual (when you havent even had a sexual relationship) or genderfluid. its not fair to those who have worked so hard. but then again, im in no position to tell you who you are. you are the controller of your life. but dont act all defensive and go crying to your followers just bc someone makes a comment on your sexuality/gender but  youre not confident/sure enough about it to forget and forgive. if this is truly who you are, then TAKE ACTION. you dont need to prove to me that you are lgbt, just simply embrace it by expressing it. BELIEVE IN WHO YOU ARE. and dont be ashamed. you cant stop someone from assuming when you yourself dont accept that fact. who cares what others think.

ok so. after all that longass rant with the telling of my whole fucking life story, half-assed motivational quotes, and some rather rude use of language, the moral of the story is: i dont have a problem with your gender identification or sexual orientation, im actually fine with it. but i do have a problem with people using that as an excuse to act all disgusted and horrified and lash out on social media when someone may or may not have intentionally “offended” them. if its actually offensive, fine, you are free to make a point about it and shove it up their asses. but when someone asks you if youre gay, you DONT FUCKING GIVE THEM YOUR ATTITUDE. saying yes is enough. its up to their discretion to either shrug and move on (which i would do bc i dont care about your sexuality) or they can punch you in the face like a fucking trump supporter that they are. it is only when they punch you that you fight back. DONT FIGHT WHEN THERE IS NO REASON TO FIGHT AT ALL. 

i know that there will be ppl who would be displeased with me. nvm, i dont think there would be that much ppl reading it in the first place. oh well. just trying to make a point. im not sorry that i made this post on this particular topic, but im sorry for the incredibly coarse/rude language. i have said offensive things that is borne from my frustration. if there are ppl out there who sees mistruths or ignorance in my post, you are welcome to enlighten me. my views arent rigid and im not exactly knowledgeable in this topic, so i am willing to change them if your point is valid.  but ill only be accepting replies with point, proof, and analysis. also, you are welcome to block/unfollow me as well, but tbh, i wont be posting these kinds of thing again anytime soon. ill just be back to the cute, unassuming anime blog that silently supports the lgbt+ community and strongly opposes trump. thank you for your time, and have a nice day.

[anachronisticanagram]

Log Infancy Thru HS

I want to keep a log of my thoughts but anonymous because I need to get this off my chest without actually telling anyone. I’ve been thinking about the food problems I had growing up and, these are the things that (while I personally am always invalidating the illness I suffered from) show that it really has been a real issue all my life. I know my parents will try to convince me I’m crazy like they usually do, but I need to keep a log somewhere other than my notes app so I know I’m not.

1. I had binge eating problems as a baby (eating 8 ounces of formula to compete with my brother when I should have only been eating 3 and therefore not being able to keep anything down because of overeating).

2. Formative years (just past infancy until middle school) I used to sneak candy and food out of the cupboards, but not in a very normal way. I was terrified someone would find me but I physically felt I couldn’t resist chocolate.

3. Ballet class-- thighs were bigger than all the other girls and I didnt understand why so I felt hideous in the leotard.

4. I was 7, my mom was watching daytime ads. For some reason my mom started telling me about how some people would put their fingers in their throat and purge. From that day (until I actually learned how at 14) I was obsessed with the idea and I wanted to learn so bad.

5. This is my first solid memory of When I was 7-10 my best friend and I used to “make” clothes together-- she had a tiny waist (I did too but she was longer waisted which I interpreted to be skinnier) I was too uncomfortable wearing things that showed my stomach. I told her (when I was 8) “I have a fat person’s body.” She looked me up and down and said “oh.” I didn’t really understand it at the time but all I wanted was for her to say that I wasn’t, and when she didn’t, I looked in the mirror and suddenly hated my body so much. I remember wishing all the time and praying that I could look like and be as skinny as her.

6. Dance studio, I was 11-- I loved Hell Week during shows because it meant I could avoid eating easier-- Maggie used to comment constantly on how “healthy” I was because all I would eat every day were Cliff Bars and celery because when I was at the pharmacy with my mother I saw a program on TV that said celery had negative calories so it would make you lose more weight. I ate like this for weeks on end. I would hide food in my socks to avoid eating it, slip it up my long sleeve shirts/jackets, hide it in pockets. Talk a lot so that I could avoid eating until everyone left the dinner table so I could hide it.

7. Throughout my whole life, my mother has made comments about my weight. Jokingly calling me a pig hurt a lot more than she realized but she still does it (even after knowing I had a problem.) Comparing me to my aunt saying that I ate like her (a 300-400lb old woman), telling me I took after the women in my dad’s side of the family so I needed to watch my weight more carefully than most people. Recently even telling me when I got back from school that I looked so much better with the weight lost (which I lost because I pretended to need to keep my video on for class so I could throw the food away she brought into my room instead of eating with the family. Completely forgot I did that until now.) “Your limbs were starting to look like stuffed sausages in your clothes.” That one is stupid but still makes me want to cry, I’ve always had overly strong feelings to things my mother says and her opinions about me.

8. “As they grow older, girls eat less and less and boys eat more and more.” My mother also said things like this a lot, bragging about how in middle school she went on a 200 calorie diet over summer of only mustard and pickles on tortillas and lost all the weight she had gained. Constantly commenting on how her weight is, how fat she is (when she weighed less than me.) Saying how her mom kept her figure looking good by barely eating anything during the week so that she could eat a bowl of ice cream every friday night.

9. I was obsessed (age 7-12) America’s Next Top Model only because of how their bodies looked. Only ever liked the skinniest ones and thought the ones who actually had more than just bones and skin were fat.

10. When I was 14 was when everything exploded. I had already made habits of hiding food for years but now I joined pro-ana mia sites online. I had a calorie counting journal, three different food diaries, and I was constantly weighing myself. Everyone except my dad was leaving town for a few weeks, and I was ecstatic. I could not eat without anyone noticing. Got into a habit of leaving dishes everywhere with traces of food on them (if my family ever sees this, that’s why for so many years I left un-rinsed dishes everywhere (that and ADD lol)). My dad left for coffee and when he was gone I purged for the first time. This led to months of binging and purging where I would “practice singing” in the garage. I couldn’t just throw the barf bags in the trash so I found an old dresser of mine and filled the whole thing up with the bags (awful i know but I never got caught.) When my parents read my texts and found out, I was so ashamed. They shamed me for it instead of trying to help me and acted like I did it all for attention (which, I think I would have actually TOLD someone if that was the case. I was throwing up my stomach lining and still wouldnt tell anyone.) I wasnt allowed to be alone after that and to this day cant have my door closed. It was genuinely one of the most awful years of my life.

11. When I was 15 I got down to 117.5 lbs which was the lowest I ever actually recorded. I didn’t eat for a full two weeks and passed out on a bench my first time at Disneyland. To this day everyone thinks I just fell asleep. Oddly enough the lowest weight I got to  (after not eating during the Disney day) was 125.4 (odd because now I’m a few inches taller, 5 years older, and weigh closer to 120 without much issue) and I was so proud of that I started eating again (binging). Guessing it was so difficult because I was still growing.

12. At this point I started having what I call “the cycle.” Every month I’d go back and forth from eating everything to eating nothing at all and I never really saw an issue with it. I thought i was being healthy when I wasn’t eating but I never really noticed it past 16 because I thought it was normal. At 17 when I had my first bf I ate more normally because we would go out all the time. But my mentality was still not healthy.

13. 17, during the summer I gained about 15 pounds (barely obvious i see now but it felt like a lot.) I drank two sodas every day and ate three big bowls of buttered popcorn or nachos every single day and didn’t get off the couch all summer watching TV. I was super depressed bc my parents reaction to my first real crush was on a girl at school.

14. End of high school, I considered myself a recoveree-- didn’t think about my weight much but I was eating 3 meals a day and snacking in between all meals. Again. the monthly cycle of binging to suddenly being paranoid about my weight continued. There’s more past high school but this is just the general summary of specific moments that I remember growing up that affected me.

I think all of this is proof of why I have a heart condition now.