#bc i am an academic at heart i do want to write a lot of papers and do studies and make moves in whatever field i choose but also i want

[iknowwhereyousleepatnight]

it’s contemplating if i should change my major even though i’m graduating in december hours….. again

[fluxweeed]

Hii, I just discovered your fics and am reading my way through them. Love, love, love the ones I’ve read so far.😊 I was just wondering what your favourite Draco is you’ve written, and what your fave Draco is in fics written by others? ☺️

ACK thank you!! what a question!! i've considered this v carefully and it turns out i have………a lot of thoughts. i will keep them under a cut so nobody is accosted with a full 700 words of my Draco Opinions 😂 so my quick answer is:

my fave draco i've written: the taste of țuică my fave draco ever: rookie moves by peu_a_peu

draco is an interesting one for me bc i don't really LIKE him? but i have sooo many feelings about him. really not sure i could summon the same fervour for harry, for example, who is my number one boy forever and always.

(i saw a thing once that said a pairing becomes ur otp when u relate to one of the characters and want to fuck the other one, and 🙈 i mean, i think you're supposed to relate to the gryffindor, aren't you. whoops.)

OKAY SO HERE'S THE UNHINGED DRACO MALFOY ESSAY BY FLUX W. EED.

listen. i love and respect people who are Refined Draco enjoyers. connoisseurs of redemption arcs. appreciators of majestic malfoy bone structure and ethereal grey eyes and soft windswept hair. fans of dracos who insult harry (with hidden affection) and who are a bit snobbish (in a rich, sexy way) but ultimately have realised the error of their teenage years and have become a better person. perhaps this draco has built a potions business and helps the aurors. perhaps he IS an auror. either way, he has a biting sense of humour, maybe, but he's a good guy.

unfortunately, the draco of my heart is a horrid mean little rat man.

i've never actually managed to write him the way i love him. i tried to aim for immoral bastardy in what's mine is yours but i got so caught up in trying to nail the feelsforbreakfast-style humour in the narrative that i ended up focusing much more on that and much less on writing genuine bastardhood.

i've written him as reserved and clever (in the four doors – this draco was written entirely for @jovialobservationanchor, who had a weak spot for closed-off academics with soft centres) and as a traumatised self-loathing mess (in two to lie and to some extent for lack of wanting and say no to this) and hopelessly sexually/emotionally horny for one harry james potter (in, um, most things) but i've never managed to capture the genuine cruel streak and flawed personality that is sooo so important to me.

WHICH IS WHY i picked țuică!draco for my favourite of the ones i've written. he's still a bit too emotionally intelligent to be Just Right, imo, but i think he's maybe the closest? he's unrepentantly rude to people. he's not attractive. and he has a streak of self-destructive fucked-upedness that is some form of wartime guilt, but certainly not a pretty one.

HOWEVER. rookie moves?? NAILED it. i adooored how genuinely fuckin MEAN he is, even tho he's an auror. i love love LOVED that he's kind of bad at his job in a way that's in complete opposition to how drarry!draco is often written these days:

The look on Malfoy’s face was not only troubling, Harry realized, but familiar. At once activated and dead behind the eyes, like an invasive species in an ecosystem that could not check it. It was the look of the meanest fucking teenager Harry had ever known, giving in to his urge to bully.

-

What Malfoy wasn’t good with was people. Despite his repeated insistences that his upbringing had equipped him with impeccable manners and a facility with society intrigue, the truth was that he rubbed almost everyone the wrong way. He was, undeniably, annoying. Witnesses were put off by his snide, dismissive tone, and he didn’t know how to coax out information with curiosity, warmth, or strategic silence.

that's not to say unrepentant cunt draco is the only one for me!! i DO enjoy the classic redeemed drarry draco!! i love a quirky draco, à la wwpwcs or maya's drop dead gorgeous. gallaplacidia's draco is sooo painful for me to read (complimentary) that even though i adore her fics, i still haven't read them all bc i have to space them out, for my health. and i'm sure there are dozens more dracos that i'm forgetting how much i like – basically, as long as he isn't super suave, absolutely gorgeous and/or obviously tom felton, i'm on board.

[thegoldencontracts]

Bro this is gonna seem so entitled of meeeee and I really don't mean to complain but why is it that so many x Riddle fics (no matter the ship) are just so fucking one-sided...

don't be a coward show Riddle in love... It feels better when they get together that way too

In canon hes so nice and reasonable... Don't do this to him COME ON STOP MAKING HIM A DOG SHIT BOYFRIEND WHILE HIS PARTNER JUST TAKES bro.

this is bc of an Azurido fic I read recently tbh... I love the ship so much but at the same time a large part of the charm is how at first neither of them like each other - Azul is envious of Riddle but begrudgingly respects his power and vice versa but then that changes during book 6 and these two academic rivals can't help but warm up to each other Azul isn't fucking in love with him while Riddle just doesn't gaf BRO

Low-key wanna write a kinda spitefic angst with a happy ending where Azul gets insecure bc Riddle shows basically no affection and is actively cold to him a lot and ends up acting like a fucking dick to Riddle and then there's a lot of angst and drama and it's like three or four, maybe even six chapters of tea and angst and emotions featuring other charactere and exploration and it ends with them having a big sweet heart to heart amd GOD IM LOVIMG THIS PREMISE

but I know that it would fucking flop like that one Jeiazu longfic I started and gave up on T_T

Why? Bc on top of azurido being a rare pair, NO ONE WOULD LIKE THAT IDEA BUT ME... Because it's just not a common preference just like no one wants to talk about Jamil's pining in pre-relationship JamiAzu

BEING DIFFERENT ISN'T WORTH IT GUYSSS,,, I am a creature of yapping I need someone to tap to about this but I HAVE NO ONEEE bc it is universally depicted as a bad take

Also how the fuck did I go from 'I feel like this is a common mischaracterization of Riddle' to 'WHY ARE MY TAKES EVAPORATED GIVE ME THE COLD WATER TAKES I MUST YAP'

Idek man

[coffeeandcalligraphy]

Rachel,

I have a few questions if you don’t mind:

1. How do you get comfortable writing the story of your heart? I’ve been pushing off big story ideas that I want to write so that I can get better at writing. But like what if that’s making me feel less motivated or am I just being annoying about it? Maybe I should just suck it up and practice something easier because I honestly don’t have the skills for a complex novel idea.

2. Do you ever look at other writers progress and process and feel bad about your own? Because I’ve been feeling like that a lot lately and trying to adapt to every writers process is impossible and not fun. But I’m stifled by the fear of doing things wrong even though there’s not really a “wrong” way to write.

3-4. I want to participate in nano but I’m a student so it’s going to be a challenge. Since you also were a student do you have any tips? I’ve heard from others that I should just give up writing while in school and every time it hurts, even though I know they don’t mean me any harm. I just want to know if it’s really impossible. So I guess this really is a 2 part question: Do you have any time management tips for writing as a student and do you have any tips for starting nano for the first time?

Hi hi hi!

1. Tbh, my best advice is just to write what you want. If that’s the hard thing, then go for the hard thing. I skirted around difficult projects thinking I didn’t have the skill set for them but that just led me to never writing them. The truth is you’re always going to be missing something before writing a project—writing is an evolutionary art form for that reason, so it’s intrinsic that we learn and fail as we go.

2. I don’t really feel bad when comparing myself to other writers but this probably is mostly because I generally don’t have negative self-talk anymore (IDK WHERE IT WENT LOL) but you’re absolutely not alone in this feeling (& I know I’ve felt this way in the past). You’ve got it right that there’s no one process, and tbh, the thing you might have to do is just constantly remind yourself of that when writing in order to push through. A lot of the time if writing is sticking for me for a more abstract reason like this I have to grit my teeth and keep reminding myself it’s okay to be imperfect, etc.

3. To be verrrryyy honest with you, I struggled to balance writing & school and while I don’t think you have to give up writing while being a student, something a lot of the times naturally has to give since being a student is so time consuming. Not to be discouraging at all but just as a precursor because I was never able to successfully do NaNo when I was in school (not even in high school) EXCEPT for in 2022, and that was for a couple reasons. Mostly, I just put school on the back burner haha. I’m not recommending this but at that point in my degree I was tired of how I was being treated & not being able to prioritize my own writing & I started to push the boundaries of my academics to see how much I could let go in order to write. This is not something I responsibly recommend, but it’s what I did. I wrote a lot in lectures (….. oops lol) & pulled back a bit on assignments (I still did as well as I typically do which is when I realized for me I could put in less effort into school & get the same results—just MY experience, again not a recommendation).

So I’m not saying it’s impossible but I don’t want to make it seem like I was able to juggle both. I wasn’t lol! I skipped classes, I BS’d assignments & that’s bc school wasn’t my priority anymore (this was 100% best for my mental health & I surprisingly academically performed the best I ever have & also graduated #1 in my faculty BUT I thrive off of chaotic timetables & doing things when I’m not supposed to lol, so again not a recommendation & just context as to how I did it).

Otherwise, a couple things I did: edited late at night when I was too tired to draft & added words through line level edits. Used scene ideas from old books & propagated them into the new book. Prepped a little in advance by drafting (or you could outline) so I knew where I was going. Got ahead by 1k as much as I could. It also helped that I was at the exact right place at the exact right time to do nano (literally got right to the climax at the very end), so a lot of my success I think was also luck.

My biggest tip for starting NaNo for the first time is to be open for your expectations to change & to listen to yourself as you go because a word count isn’t worth your mental health! If you can plan around busy days that can also help too. November was always the worst month for deadlines when I was in school, so if you’re falling behind it’s soooo okay! Have fun with it—NaNo isn’t supposed to be stressful, so if it is it’s okay to amend the goal to suit your lifestyle! :)

[blujaishah]

hi! How’s it going?

This is a good opportunity to explain why I haven't been posting art dont read any of it if u dont want to it's more for me

Aside from normal academic stuff it's mostly because my school's literary magazine is allowing submissions and I really want to get my art in it (you're a published artist/author if you get in it)

Thing is last year I didn't get my art in it (I made a self portrait titled 'hearts' that I stupidly never took a picture of because I never got it back) but they had too many art submissions and not enough literary submissions so most of the art got cut from the magazine

So I think you can tell that I was pissy bc I really need to get my art in this thing

So now I have been focusing a lot on my submission because I'm writing something with it, it's gonna look like a children's picture book with multiple drawings and a story

I might post it here if it doesn't end up being too personal but prob not

It's taking me a while because one i want it to look good and two i want it to look painted and that isn't my normal style and three because I am not a writer

Another reason as to why I'm not posting is because I'm looking for jobs because ur girl does not have money and that's something I wanna prioritize

And the last reason is less fun and something that I genuinely need to type out and admit in writing is that my parents are absolute batshit crazy and I want nothing more than to complete my high school credits and leave my home town

My sister didn't mind leaving like I want to in fact she wanted to get as far away from us (specifically my dad) as possible but she has no problem having me with her and husband because they've somewhat settled down

She's traveled the world and she's pretty cool, she's at a very prestigious university, she went to Thailand in high school, she's been to Jordan, Lebanon, and a couple years ago she went to Palestine for a year and became a high school teacher there she's awesome

It would be amazing to go to college where she is (i'm in a position financially and academically where going out of state for college is very possible ESPECIALLY where she is) and also to get to know her husband more would be great cause we barely got to know each other when he was here

My brother on the other hand didn't want to leave our mom but really needed to get out of the house because of our dad so now he's in this really awkward position where he lives in an apartment literally a 15 minutes walk from our house and by extension his very comfortable bedroom, and also he comes home every night to see our mom

It absolutely sucks and I very much want to leave my home even though I say what my parents want me to say I'll do after high school when I'm around them

My dad is demented and I have no problem admitting that he's never abused me physically but he has verbally quite a few times and hinted at physical abuse and it gets to me a lot

mostly it's about academics which he is quite literally insane for thinking I don't do well academically

There's a lot of stuff with him that's god awful and i wont get into it because that's what I do in a therapeutic environment which I cant get without being gaslit by my family so yeah

I can't draw anything except what I have to with all this it's a lot to be thinking about because I'm still just a kid and idk i can't handle it maturely so I have to write about it on tumblr lmao

[actual-sleeping-beauty]

i was tagged in this by @welcometololaland (whose banner i also stole) @jesuisici33 @rmd-writes and @liminalmemories21 i think? idk it was many days ago but here i go!

ONE: Are you named after anyone?

yes, my first and middle names are family names. on the one hand i think my name is quite pretty, but on the other hand i have some complicated feelings about the self-fulfilling prophecy of it

TWO: When was the last time you cried?

uhhhh, probably two thursdays ago when i realized that i'm not going to be able to go back to school in the fall bc of the *gestures broadly*

THREE: Do you have kids?

no, i'm twenty and also pretty sure i don't want them

FOUR: Do you use sarcasm a lot?

yeah. you would be amazed at how well it does not work in arabic.

FIVE: What sports have you played/do you play?

i played baseball until i was nine, at which point i switched to softball until i was about sixteen. i only quit playing bc there wasn't a chill league for teenagers. i was on my school archery team from fourth through eighth grade, and on my school's academic team from sixth to 12th grade. i also practiced jiu jitsu for a couple years in high school, before the pandemic and also before the owners of the gym i went to started being massively transphobic trump fans. i am a team sports girlie at heart tho and i want to try to find an adult softball league after i'm out of college and have some more time.

SIX: What's the first thing you notice about people?

any fun clothes or accessories! i love paying people compliments and "i love your earrings!" is a great one that doesn't comment on people's bodies. i also notice if people are much taller than me.

SEVEN: What's your eye colour?

my driver's license says blue, but it kinda depends on the shirt i'm wearing. yes, i do know that that's an annoying answer.

EIGHT: Scary movies or happy endings?

both? i pick happy endings more often but i do love a good horror movie

NINE: Any special talents?

i'm really good at calling my state representatives and jaywalking? no but for real, i kick ass at learning languages. some people have brains built for math, and i have a brain built to be a polyglot. i'm pretty sure if you dropped me in italy that within six months i'd speak pretty fluent italian, though of course italian and spanish are very similar

TEN: Where were you born?

in a hospital, but not the one any of my siblings were born in

ELEVEN: What are your hobbies?

reading (mostly fic right now), chatting with my friends and sister, crocheting/sewing/knitting, giving tours for my school. (we're all gonna let that last one slide bc i literally did it for fun during the summer one day lol)

TWELVE: Do you have any pets?

yep! my family has two very large dogs, one of whom is a complete idiot and the other of whom is an asshole on purpose. and my roommate has a cat

THIRTEEN: How tall are you?

five two :'( but at least i fit better than most on airplanes

FOURTEEN: Favourite subject in school?

in high school band, biology, history. in college polysci and arabic, with a healthy dose of spanish language literature.

FIFTEEN: Dream job

blah blah i do not dream of labor (except secretly i kind of do) but i would love to work in refugee resettlement using either my spanish or arabic skills. for right now though i have the perfect college job. i love my oldies <3

i think everyone has been tagged in this, so consider this an open tag if you missed it the first go round!

[cieloclercs]

hiya! congratulations on 1k, i can't think of anyone more deserving 🥺

can i request a lover, you should’ve come over for f1/f2?

here's a description of me - i am...

a 5'1.5 asian american girl (the 0.5 really matters for shorties like me 😔) with dark brown hair and brown eyes who is a lover of STEM (particularly chemistry and math), golf (and ofc f1). i will be a chem major in college but i am currently taking a gap year to do an internship and maybe spend some time in france 🤷🏻‍♀️. i am hoping to pursue medicine after college and i am trilingual and (fluent in Mandarin, English, and French). on the astrology side, i'm a libra, ascendant in gemini, and moon in virgo. i've played piano for at least 14 years and guitar for like 2 or 3 years. the absolute loml is my sister's dog bella, who is a cojack (jack russell and corgi mix).

also nobody quite writes angst like you do, so can I also request grace for charles and just like friends (in love) to strangers? idk if that's really a trope but i just need to be fed 😭

if you want to expand it 😉that would be even more amazing but no pressure

i ship you with mick schumacher!

— something about mick and a stem!s/o just makes sense to me i’m not entirely sure why 😭 i can imagine him asking you loads of questions about your schoolwork and just staring up at you with those puppy dog eyes all amazed bc you’re so smart 🥹 pls ask him to help you revise !! although don’t expect him to be a whole lot of help, he’ll probably get distracted watching you and forget he’s supposed to be asking you questions (he’s such a cutie) ☺️

— i think it’s a running theme in this that mick is just in awe of you and everything you do, sooo when he finds out you’re not only a super smart academic but you’re a musician as well ??? he’s obsessed. he’ll literally sit down and ask you to play for him just because he’s so in awe and he can’t believe how lucky he is to have you 🥹 basically he’s the sweetest angel on earth with the purest heart and he’ll do anything for you

— of course, there’s no mick without angie !! when you guys get together it’s a big thing introducing your dogs because you both love them so much, and it’s such a relief when they get on perfectly ! i can definitely see you guys taking them on joint walks to the park where you sit together on a bench and watch them play (hjshjshsh this concept makes me melt 🥹) cuddles definitely always have angie and your dog incorporated (they want attention so they won’t have it any other way). i can see you all huddled together on the sofa having a cute little family movie night 🥰 it’s all just domestic bliss with mick around :)

ps. i’ll be getting to the second part of your request asap 😉 i love the concept !! i can tell this is going to break my heart to write though 😭 (giving very much saudade vibes with the friends to strangers) 🥲

[faitsansorganes]

I drank a little so now it's my followers' problem if they decide to read this post (unwise decision)

anyways why do I always latch onto some professor (or in the past teacher) as a free parent when they can never be that. and I have so many conversations with them in my head where I pretend they are praising me or telling me things are going to be alright because that's what I want really. even though when I do impress people no matter how much it's never enough but still I crave it from these people I reverse-adopt in my head. and I feel so bad about it it's so weird to have someone you elevate mentally so much when really they're just some guy who happens to have a position in shaping you and yet to you they're like something you hang your entire sense of self on. which of course I can't tell them about bc this is insane right. anyways why did I start thinking about this right it's because well (as some who have the misfortune of reading my posts may have guessed) this year it's my philosophy professor and the academic year is coming to an end. less than a month of classes left, I only have him for lectures and the one this coming week I can't even go to because for another class we have odrabiane zajęcia (not translating this bc we never had odrabienie zajęć in the states so I have no idea wtf to call this) which my classmates voted to hold at the same time as the philosophy lecture. so like... two more lectures? maybe I go to his office hours one more time and that's it. and yeah literally that's all our interaction has been, my going to his office hours a few times to ask questions (and I feel so unconfident it took me two times going to the philosophy department building before I finally got the nerve to actually go to his office to talk to him) from which he supposedly thinks I have "exceptional talents" but what are those? going and complaining about Kant? fucking up my grammar spectacularly? that's another reason why I can't feel too happy at his praise because he's a very kind-hearted man so he says for example I "speak Polish wonderfully and write fantastically" but that's not true. my speech is communicable (very messy) and my writing is decent but that's all. I don't think he would lie but I think he has too gentle an opinion. I don't know what my talents are. it's nice he thinks I have some though

also the thing is I don't even know, I might end up working with him next year if everything works out and I get into the interdisciplinary program I want because each student gets a "tutor" right. and they can ask whoever technically but certain ones will be suggested based on interest. and anyways I'm planning to focus on philosophy bc irregardless of my wish he was idk basically my father I guess it's also just very fascinating to me and then I think my secondary focus will be Japanese which he is also interested in so I can him being suggested especially when I think I have a lot more philosophical interest in common with him (fucking works in the aesthetics faculty hahahahahahahaha and interested in phenomenology, left politics, etc.) than say a professor of logic or ethics but even so. he might be too busy for that or maybe someone else will be suggested for other reasons in which case I will be too embarrassed to ask him or maybe I won't get into the program for circumstances reasons. but either way it's pathetic for me to care this much right? I objectively shouldn't and it's weird as hell

I forgot how I planned to end this post and now I'm sobering up anyways so idk. posting this before I get too entirely embarrassed. oh yeah I was wondering what am I going to do when I'm older? it's already laughable when I could have theoretically graduated university already if my life weren't so ??? and I'm still doing this but what about when I'm wrinkled?

I'd like to believe I'll have a better sense of self by then that doesn't rely on latching onto poor people just going about their lives. that's a nice thing to hope for. let's end this post on a positive note!

[i-willstealyourtoes]

✚✚ ABOUT ME ✚✚

(Just realised I haven't made one yet lol)

✚General✚

Name: 'IWillStealYourToes'

Nicknames (in order of pref): Toto, To, IWillStealYourToes (bit ominous saying my whole username 💀 /lh)

Pronouns + Gender: She/her + Female

Sexuality: Bisexual/a-spec(?) + maybe polyam (I'm open to trying)

Languages: English, though I'm learning German and Spanish too :)

MBTI: ENFJ(-T)

Other: I'm neurodivergent bc I have OCD (and maybe smth else like ADHD)

✚Interests✚

Academic:

Languages - Ever since early Highschool, I adored all languages! I currently only learn German and Spanish, but if I could I would learn French too. My dream is to be at least tri-lingual!!

Maths - I think since I was young I was always good at maths, which I'm very grateful for. I think my favourite type of Maths is probably shapes in triangles or something like that, though algebra in general is fun :)

Accounting (ik ew) - In the beginning I found it difficult, but the more I learnt the easier I found it. Sometimes it's nice just sit and do numbers and nothing super creative.

Non-academic:

Gaming - I love gaming with all my heart. I think I've always been interested in games since I was at least 9 or something. My current favourite game is probably TF2!! I started playing in 2019 and haven't stopped loving it since (although the a lot of the playerbase can be toxic)

Drawing - I'm not the best at drawing, but a sketch now and then always helps me, especially when I want to make a new OC! I also like sketching up outfit ideas for me to try out later. I usually draw fem people, since I'm not that good at drawing masc people :(

Writing - Of course I love writing! I started writing 'x reader' fics when I was on Wattpad then moved to Tumblr!

Playing piano - I'm self-taught so I'm not that good, but I still enjoy playing simple tunes now and then. Last song I was learning was 'I Giorni'. :)

Swimming - I don't take classes, I just enjoy relaxing in the water. Sometimes it's really nice just to immerse yourself in the water and not make a sound, you know?

✚My current fandoms✚

TF2 - I think this is probably my special interest lol. I love TF2 more than anything, if I can relate it to TF2 I probably have tbh-

My fave character is Engie or Demo and my main is Medic!

PAYDAY 2 - Something about shooting things as a team is just rlly fun to me lmao. The OST is genuinely so good if you can't get the game just listen to it pls- I usually am a stealth guy but omg M1 garand yippeeeee- Used to be my hyperfixation lol

My fave character is Sokol or Dallas and my main is Joy (I play Sokol or Dallas sometimes)

Undertale - Probably the first game I actually loved??? It's literally still on my favourite list fr- I would play it again but I did the True Pacifist run and I don't wanna ruin Frisk's life 😭

My fave character is Papyrus!

Star Wars: Clone Wars - It's an amazing show with great characters and visuals! I definitely have it as one of my special interests... It's really interesting to watch the show and see how each season the animation/visuals improve. I wish there was a separate show or smth where the clones actually get a good ending for once... 😭

My favourite character is Fives, Tech or Plo Koon :)

(I literally just found out the graffiti on Plo Koon's ships say 'Plo's Bros' and I can't stop thinking about it)

Lethal Company - I love this little horror game so much! I had a hyperfixation (no longer) to the point I actually made a 67 slide PowerPoint about it... I might have a problem. I like playing it with my friends the most, since I get scared alone really easily!

Republic Commando - Recently got it and I am hyperfixating fr 😭 I love these lil guys so much I sure hope nothing bad happens to them (especially to Scorch and Sev haha) (/s, I know what happens)

My fave character for sure is Scorch :) He's just a silly guy (he has committed several murder-sprees and will continue to do so)

[jeanmoreaux]

Hi, I'm absolutely loving all of the literature talk (your taste is exquisite<3) and wanted to ask you what you love about Frankenstein (if you would care to elaborate). I just finished it today and enjoyed it, but didn't love it and I would love to hear your view of the book

hi! i am glad you enjoy the occasional literature talk—it's what i live and breathe for :') i think my love for frankenstein really comes down to how closely i worked with the text over the years. i think i read it for 3 different classes throughout my academic life, so i had the chance to really read the text thoroughly and engage with it from different angles. what i love about it most is probably how much is just *there* in the text; it's about parenthood, it's about nature vs. nurture, it's about hubris, it's about humanity and what it means to be human, it's about the romantic sentiment, it's about the consequences of your actions, it's about the scientific progress and how to (not) approach it and the responsibility that comes with that, it's about the consequences of being ostracised to the human psyche, it's about the cycle of violence, it's about transgenerational trauma, it's about what it feels like to live up to other people's idea of you, it's about being forced into a life you haven't chosen for yourself, it's about taking responsibility, it's about language, it's about writing and the creation of art...... and that's not all of it! i mean, you can adopt basically any of the lenses of the literary analysis toolkit and have the text make sense from that perspective (from historical criticism to marxist, feminist or queer theory -> the feminist and queer theory ones make for such interesting readings of the text. i mean i am sure you've heard about how the creature can be read as an manifestation of victor's homoerotic desires (and subsequently a externalisation of his internalised homophobia). the queer subtext in victor's dynamics with henry and elizabeth is definitely there. and ofc when looking at it from a feminist perspective how there's a clear absence of women with agency in the story and as a consequence the absence of female qualities and how all that contributes to the characters' eventual downfalls. yet the story is framed, presented AND centred by (indirect) women's narratives that seem to be almost overshadowed or suppressed—women's writing is essential to the existence of the story BUT there is only the indirect allusion to women narrators, we never actually read from a female writer (think captain robert walton's letters to his sister margaret walton saville in the most outer layer of the story and safie's letters at its core -> also consider the historical implications of how the writing of narrative letters was often practiced by women etc.).) do you see what i mean??? that's just a couple of examples and far from an exhaustive list of readings!!!

((there is a text post that provoked this ask that brushes on some other aspects of the novel.))

this novel really gives you so much to think about and talk about when you take the time to really engage with the text and sit with it. that also makes it great for rereads bc every time you go in with another focus you'll get something else out of it. and i love when a novel is able to work on so many levels.

and ofc it's also such a monumental text. that fact alone manages to sparks awe in me???? i mean, mary shelley really wrote the first sci-fi novel at 17 and lay the foundation for one of the biggest genres we know today. that's just mind-blowing to me as well.

that's the gist of it, really. but yeah, i have a lot of love for this novel in my heart. it's definitely my favourite classic.

[chryblossomjjk]

I see you and other followers of yours talk about the stressors you face academically while going to college (or University, wherever they happen to be from). I went INTO my degree field immediately after high school graduation (take Dual Enrollment!! - I was able to get statistics, comp 1 and 2, biology, pre-calc, calc, trig, chem 1 and 2, anatomy and physiology, etc) with my AA in 2005 🫣 (I’m old #rip). I was used to group work, but the screeches I let out once I was with other college students… it made me want to rip my hair out. It drove me insane. I was lucky that most of my professors let us grade each other in the group - I did most of the work and was happy to throw some D’s on that b****. I see you all power through and I promise that as long as you all keep working hard, those group projects become easier as upperclassmen because others are serious about graduating with their degree. If you’re comfortable with others, take advantage of SI (supplementary instructions that TA’s usually lead!!) if your university has that service. I have a degree in Criminal Forensics and it only got easier the farther I got into my degree seeking program. You’ve all got this!! I believe in you all! I know it’s taxing mentally and physically, but just like you said, make sure to take care of yourselves. I always kept in mind that if I didn’t know it by 9 pm the night before an exam, I wasn’t going to know it at my 8 am Forensic Anthropology or Advanced Forensic Psychology exams. It helped me de-stress. I am very introverted and an independent learner… sometimes you have to accept that you’re not going to do “well”, but trying is really brave. Please don’t forget that! You’re intelligent!! And strong!!! 💖💖💖 XOXO

i love u so much whoever u are. this comforted my little broken struggling college student heart. thank you so much for sharing your experience!!

i vent about the llege (derogatory) a lot n im sorry if it gets annoying to anyone but maybe not bc then other people come into the inbox and share their experience and its kinda just nice to hear that other people are in the same boat as u. the boat has a huge hole in it and it was made w old decrepit wood that was literally used to build the fucking trojan horse shit looks like plank from ed edd n eddy but atleast we're going down together right ?! :') <3

and thank you so much for sharing the tips! pulling all nighters n still not grasping any of it is sooooooo real !!! and group projects are legit the worst but you're right, each year the groups get a lil better n easier to work with!! this ask legit just cured my eternal need for comfort like the words of encouragement are so sweet and thank you for taking the time to write this!! i love you lots and i hope you degree led you down the most fulfilling path ever bc you deserve it <3

[kpophubb]

back to part II. 2:47am 🌙

Good morning Mia~~ rise N Shine sweetheart

I wish you a happy Tuesday 🥰

eat good and treat yourself kindly

See you flower ❣️ 🌹

~ 🐁

Hahah hello baby 😅🧡 just created an acc to write you a letter too, but OFC ME BEING ME, I forgot the password in a span of a few hours 💔 so I’ll just write you the reply letter here.

ꕺ♡ 💌 : ….𝕿𝖔 𝙼𝚈 нуυηวιη … ꕺ♡

♡….first of all, thank you so much for always leaving the sweetest messages for me to see right when I wake up in the morning. I hope you know I read your asks the first thing in the morning and they always leave me with a huge smile and a great start to the day. 💛

♡… aww thank you for saying that you will be there for me 🥺 I know you will🫶🏻 so don’t worry I’ll ofc run to my anonie if I feel bad ever and rant a lot but like you said, I’ll be okay so don’t worry love. You understand this thing I do, when you’re a people’s person you worry too much and get anxious when you enter a new place, worrying whether you will be able to fit in or not. Whether they’re gonna judge you for what you wear, do, say and whether they’re just gonna get you attached and turn out to be one of those people who always make you feel bitter at the end and leave. :( those are the kind of mixed emotions and fear I’m having now, bc personally speaking I’m really afraid of people irl and can’t maintain any sort of relationship that be friendship, family or romantic. And I’m also worried about my academic performance bc I’m not really talented or smart and struggle a lot with that. But I’ll be okay, cause I’m a strong girl 😤 ik after a few months I’ll be able to adjust and can take care of myself! I love spending time with me and at this point ik my self worth so well and what kind of people to give myself to, so there’s nth to grow afraid about!!

♡…soulmate best friend. Hmm. I can feel you as I always longed for one but at the end always got my heart broken by fake friends. But, I finally found my best friend and we’ve been friends since 4 years already and our understanding level and everything is too good to be true, I already feel like she’s my soulmate bff! 🫶🏻 I love her the most!! So that’s why it’s making me so sad that we’re moving to two different continents entirely and won’t be able to see or talk to eachother as much. Cause you know how hard long distance relationships can be..they fall weak and break over time and closer people replace you. And she’s someone I wouldn’t want to lose at all costs. Ofc I know we’re gonna make time for eachother and try our best to meet and call, but yet..some part of me is so scared it makes me feel super lonely. However, I know one thing for sure now that relationships are really about two things- effort & destiny. If a relationship is supposed to last, no force in the world can tear you away. And if it isn’t, no force can keep you together. Hence, I’ve left it all upto fate and am keeping my fingers crossed that nothing will ever change between us. 💔

♡… AH ANONIE there’s so much I’d love to tell you about myself and I’d love to show you pictures of the places I’ve been to and myself as well but I’m not very comfortable sharing my private life anywhere sadly✋🏻 :( bc our asks can be read by anyone here so..,, I’m hoping one day when we talk in private dms (If we do, no pressure so you can relax) then I’ll send you all the nice stuffs and you can get to know all about me that you want to. 💞

♡… and lol about the skincare! I was using this mask called the Chinese ginseng & rice mask by the body shop? I mostly use Thailand and Korean products on my face lol, they suit me more. (Esp thai products) 😛 I always buy a lot of skincare + body care and invest less in makeup bc makeup doesn’t really suit me much and I don’t like using it a lot. I prefer natural looks more 🫶🏻 what kind of products do you use anonie?? I’m curious!!

♡…about healing anonie. Healing takes time and can be really scary. Sometimes you feel like you take 2 steps forward with everything you’ve got but the next day you withdraw 10 steps backward and feel like you’ve lost it all. It’s okay love. Just hang in there and don’t overthink what’s to come in the future. Life is a cycle of happiness and sadness, if sadness comes so will the happiness and if happiness comes then the sadness is inevitable too. There’s nth to worry cause you can rest assured that if you cry, you will smile again for sure. And I’ll always obviously be here for you and give you my shoulder to cry on and try to cheer you up when you’re down. So you can always rely on me! ❤️

♡… aww you’re so hard working anon🥺 pls take proper rest as you need energy and good sleep and food if you need to work hard! I’m always acknowledging you and am proud of your steps even if they’re as trivial and little as going out of the bed every morning. I love you so much!! I’m not feeling my usual positive and happy self atm as I’m physically sick (period cramps + back pain and stomach aches) and also I seem to be crying and feeling like shit recently due to my period maybe idk but your texts and presence always cheer me up. I love you so much and thank you for everything, my hyunnie 💛

ꕺ♡ ….💌 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘭𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖑𝖔𝖛𝖊 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚢𝚘𝚞𝚛 ƒєℓιχ 🌤️ ꕺ♥︎

[☁️….𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗾𝘂𝗼𝘁𝗲] ⇘

"I thank you for being born, stay." 💛

[subhumanselflover]

Not a request, just thanks for writing for Guilty Gear. We've spent so long as a small fandom before strive every blog counts. From the bottom of my heart this is great and I hope you keep doing this as long as it makes you happy cause what youre doing is good and your writing is also good and im rambling but yeah, just thanks for writing for guilty gear and have a good night:)

anon you are so sweet i am not going to lie this made me tear up a little. thank you so much for your kind words :’-D i haven’t really done any non-academic writing in a while and so i wanted to get back into fandom writing now that i have a lot more free time, so that and fixating HEAVILY on guilty gear has lead me here. i’m so surprised i didn’t get into it before last year bc it’s such a perfect piece of media for me. i hope to keep writing and to keep getting fun requests <3 thank you again so much for your kind words, i hope you have a lovely night as well and please enjoy any new writing i may put out!!

edit actually one last thing to say: anon i hope every time you bite into a piece of fruit it is so perfectly ripe

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Hi Ange!!! ✨

Ahh jumping on this game train because this ask game is so cool. Stealing some titles from songs, what would you do for “War of Hearts”, “Don’t Go Insane”, or “Meant to be Yours”? (You can choose one or all, I just couldn’t decide since they all sounded interesting!)

I hope you’ve been well, I feel like I haven’t stopped by in forever 😩 I got really busy all of a sudden, but think of you often!! I got a new job that I’m really nervous but so excited about! I’ve always wanted to be a bartender bc I think they’re so cool, so I’m excited but it’s also a lot especially dealing with people that aren’t always the nicest. But I have terrible terrible social anxiety, so I think it’s kinda helping me work through that in a way even if i’m kinda being thrown into the fire every now and then. 😵‍💫

How are you doing? I hope life has been treating you kindly! And that you’re getting a break every now and then. How is work? Please stay safe and healthy, much much love to you, Ange!! 🩶🩶🩶

-Hannah Montana anon.

Hey, love!

I will pop my response under a cut, as it will be a long one!

For the ask game:

War of Hearts - I'd do an angsty Aemond fic for this one. Aemond is deeply in love with his wife, but goes off to war and in the ensuing chaos, also falls in love with Alys. His wife finds out via correspondence from Daemon and is heartbroken. Aemomd dies before he ever gets a chance to explain that he loved them both and never meant to hurt her. She travels to Harrenhal to seek answers from Alys and the pair learn they aren't enemies, just victims of awful circumstances beyond their control.

Don't Go Insane - I would do an academic rivals Michael Gavey fic for this one - but completely one sided. A girl on Michael's course gets consistently better feedback and marks than him and it makes him irate, as he can't understand why. When he finally decides to confront her about it, she's unaware of who he even is, which annoys him even more.

Meant to Be Yours - I'd do a Tom Bennett fic for this one. Tom is stationed on the HMS Exeter with the boyfriend of a girl he's been sleeping with and is secretly in love with. He has to watch as he receives letters from her, while she's also writing to him too, and him having to listen to her boyfriend talk about how he plans to propose when they return slowly makes him more and more jealous.

That's so exciting about the new job, congratulations! I'm sure you'll do great. I am wishing you all the luck!

This week is kind of a nightmare for me - we have a house inspection tomorrow, so I have been busy preparing for that. I also have to go into the office on Thursday, and we're going on holiday on Sunday, so I feel like I'm watching all of the sand rapidly trickle out of my hourglass. I'm feeling slightly overwhelmed and not enjoying not having any time for myself! Trying to find the time and motivation to write is hard.

Trying to look ahead to the holiday though, and how fun that will be! Plus things will be considerably calmer once we get home.

Sending lots of love to you! Let me know how the new job is going xoxo

[cosmicbrowniefan]

also if you feel like doing more than one set of hcs I am forever and always searching for platonic/qpr madwheeler crumbs 🙏🏼 🕯

beck, of course i'll do platonic madwheeler headcanons for you. after the contributions you've given to the fandom today, or at the very least, the strange chaos you've caused, you deserve this.

i think that max and mike have very similar food opinions and they kind of hate it? like why tf are you copying me??

but also it's validating to have someone that they can count on to agree with them

i think they both like those coconut macaroon cookies

they're the only ones who like them btw

but if they ever have differing food opinions?

all hell breaks loose

bc neither of them is wrong. they're just not.

for example, mike likes candy corn. max. does not.

also

i don't think either of them will admit it, but once mike starts growing his hair out, max helps teach him how to style it

also when he starts wearing eyeliner and painting his nails, she does that for him too

because he doesn't have a steady enough hand to handle that shit

we all know the party has a bunch of different mini sub-divisions that have sleepovers all the time and everything

but i think mike and max have literally scheduled to have a sleepover with each other at least once a month

because to both of them, the other is just the best possible person to vent to and blow off steam with, and they make sure to have a scheduled time for that so they can get their emotions out in a healthy way

of course they end up having sleepovers and venting more than once a month most of the time, but they just always keep that standard to make sure they have a set aside time for it

they go to break rooms together

(places where they give you safety goggles and just let you smash stuff, not sure if that's just an america thing or if they have those everywhere)

breaking stuff is just so therapeutic to both of them

also they do that tiktok trend where you write things on a plate and then you smash it

and max braids mike's hair when he's stressed and venting a lot of the time

he leans back into her lap while she does it and he just explodes with his feelings

but enough with them venting all the time, let's talk more positive things

both max and mike are INCREDIBLY intelligent

they're actually the dream team for group projects and things like that

everyone wants them in their group

even though you might think they'd argue over ideas, they really have the same ideas and opinions when it comes to academics

also they go christmas shopping for their boyfriends together!!

will and lucas also go shopping for max and mike together hehe

i have a hc too that max and mike are disney channel original movie junkies

they know the lyrics to every fucking movie under the sun, and can act out full on musical numbers just the two of them

they entered their school talent show together with "can't stop singing" from teen beach movie

they learned to tap dance for it.

so we know mike doesn't like getting his picture taken (unless he's in a picture with will), and max sees that

but she thinks mike has a great smile and she wants him to know that and understand that

so she gets a polaroid camera for the two of them to share and they take candids of themselves and their friends all the time

and max shows each picture to mike and tells him that, no matter how chaotic the picture is, it's beautiful because their friends are together and the pictures show so much joy

mike still doesn't LOVE having his picture taken, but he appreciates it a lot more now, and smiles for pictures more often

they both have just. the biggest hearts

and they both want to act in the best interest of others which is why they get in fights sometimes but i think they can actually talk it out and realize that they both want the same thing

their communication definitely gets better the older they get and their relationship gets stronger every day <3

i hope you enjoy @tntozier :)

[janecrockeyre]

scum villain is a greek tragedy disguised as a regular tragedy disguised as a comedy disguised as a danmei

this is going to be long, and this is only PART ONE.

a.k.a, Analysing the plot of Scum Villain’s Self Saving System through Aristotle’s Poetics, because I Have Mental Issues

Part One: Introduction and the Tragic Hero

Scum Villain’s Self Saving System is a tragedy disguised as a comedy, unless you’re Shen Yuan, in which case it’s a mixture of a romance and a survival horror. It's a fever dream. It's a horrible, terrible book that made me feel new undiscovered emotions when I finished reading it. 

The thing is... SVSSS shares characteristics with some of the most famous tragedies in the West, such as Oedipus Rex, Medea, Antigone, the Oresteia... if you haven’t read these, I’ll explain everything. But the gist of my argument is this: SVSSS is the perfect tragedy. In triplicate. 

Tragedy as a genre is old as balls and so it has meant slightly different things to different people over the last few thousand years. I'll be focusing on ancient Greek tragedy, which was performed at the yearly Festival of Dionysus in Athens during the 500-350s BC (give or take a hundred years). Aristotle, when writing about this very specific subset of tragedy, had no idea that one day Scum Villain would be written, and then that I would be using his work as a way to look at Shen Qingqiu’s Funky Transmigration Mistake. Anyway!

Greek tragedy greatly influenced European dramatic tradition. I have a lot of opinions about white academics idolising and upholding the classics as the "paragon of culture" but I'll withhold them for now. I have no idea if MXTX has read Greek tragedy or not, so don't take this as me saying they are writing it. 

In my opinion, tragedy is a universal human constant. We are surrounded by pain and hurt and none of it makes any sense, so we seek to process that pain through drama, art, literature, etc. We want to understand why pain happens, and how it happens, and try to make sense of the senseless. The universe is cold and cruel and random. Tragedy eases some of that pain. 

On that note: Just because I am analysing Scum Villain through a Greek lens doesn't mean that it was written that way. I'm pasting an interpretation onto the book when there's probably a very rich and deep history of Chinese tragedy that I just don't know about. If you ever want to talk about that, please, god, hit me up, I would love to learn about it!! 

Anyway, tragedy. MXTX is excellent at it! Mo Dao Zu Shi? Painful dynastic family tragedy. Heaven Official's Blessing? Mostly romance, but she managed to get that pure pain in there, huh? 

But in my opinion, Scum Villain holds the crown for the most tragic of her stories. MDZS was more of a mystery. TGCF was more of a romance. Neither of them shy away from their tragic elements. 

Scum Villain would fit right in between the work of Sophocles, Euripides and Aeschylus. How? Let me show you. Join me on my mystery tour into the world of "Aristotle Analyses Danmei..."

Part One: The Tragic Hero

What is a tragic hero? Generally, Greek tragic heroes are united by the same key characteristics. He must be imperfect, having a "fatal flaw" of some kind. He must have something to lose. And he must go from fortune to misfortune thanks to that fatal flaw. 

There are two (technically three) tragic protagonists in SVSSS and all of them are tragic in different but formulaic ways. Each protagonist has their own version of “hamartia” or a “fatal flaw”. 

Actually, hamartia isn’t necessarily a flaw - rather, it is a thing which makes the audience pity and fear for them, a careful imperfection, a point of weakness in the character’s morality or reasoning that allows for bad things to happen to them. For example, in Oedipus Rex, the king Oedipus has a “fatal flaw” of always wanting to find the truth, but this isn’t exactly a flaw, right? Note: this flaw can be completely unwitting, as we see with Shen Yuan. It can also be something that the protagonist is born with, some kind of trait from birth or very young. 

Shen Yuan

Shen Yuan’s “hamartia” is his rigid adherence to fate and his inability to read a situation as anything but how he thinks it ought to be. He believes that Bingmei will grow into Bingge, and it takes several years, two deaths, and some truly traumatising sex to convince him otherwise. 

Shen Jiu

Shen Jiu’s fatal flaw is his cruelty. It is his own sadistic treatment and abuse of Binghe which directly leads to his eventual dismemberment. This is kind of a no-brainer. Of course, it isn't all that simple, and as an audience we pity him for his cruelty as much as we fear it because we know it comes from his own abuse as a child. This just makes him even more tragic. Delicious. 

Luo Binghe

Luo Binghe’s fatal flaw is a complicated mix of things. It is his position as the “protagonist” which compels him to act in certain ways and be forced to suffer. It is his half-demonic heritage, something entirely out of his control, which sets in motion his tragic reversal of fortune when he gets yeeted into the Abyss. He also, much like Shen Yuan, has the propensity to jump to conclusions and somehow make 2 + 2 = 5. 

As well as having their respective “flaws”, all three protagonists match the rough outline of a good tragic hero in another way: they are in a position of great wealth and power. Even when you split the different characters into different “versions”, this still holds true. Yes, Luo Binghe is raised a commoner by a washerwoman foster mother, but his dad is an emperor and he also ends up becoming an emperor himself. 

Yes, Shen Jiu is an ex-slave and a victim of abuse himself, but Shen Qingqiu is a powerful peak lord with an entire mountain’s worth of resources at his back. 

Shen Yuan is a second generation new money rich kid. 

Bingge is a stereotypical protagonist with a golden finger. Bingmei is a treasured and loved disciple with a good reputation and a privileged seat by his shizun’s side. 

In a tragedy, having this kind of good fortune at the beginning of your story is dangerous. Chaucer says that tragedy is (badly translated into modern english) “a certain story / of him that stood in great prosperity / and falls out of high degree / into misery, and ends up wretchedly”. If we follow this line of thinking, a good tragedy is about someone who has a lot to lose, losing everything because of one fatal point of weakness that they fail to address or understand. 

If we look at Shakespeare, this is what makes King Lear such a fantastic tragic protagonist. He is a king in control of most of England, who from his own lack of wisdom and excess of pride, decides to split his kingdom apart to give to his daughters, favouring his murderous, double crossing progeny, and condemning his only actually filial daughter to death. He loses his kingdom, his mind, and his beloved daughter, all because of his own stupidity.

This brings us to:

Part Two: Peripeteia

This reversal of fortunes is called peripeteia. It is the moment where the entire plot shifts, and the hero’s fortunes go from good to bad. Think of it like one of those magic eye puzzles, where you stare at the image until a 3D shark appears, except you realise the shark was always there, you just couldn't ever see it, waiting for you, hungry, deadly, always lurking just behind that delightful pattern of random blue squiggles. 

Each tragic hero has their own moment of peripeteia in SVSSS, sometimes several:

Shen Qingqiu

In the original PIDW, SQQ’s peripeteia presumably occurs when he finds out that Bingge didn’t perish in the Abyss but has actually been training hard to come and pay him back. There’s really not much I’m interested in saying here - as a villain, OG!SQQ is cut and dry, and the audience doesn’t really feel any pity or fear for him. As Shen Yuan often mentions, what the audience feels when they see OG!SQQ is bloodlust and sick satisfaction. There is also the trial at Huan Hua Palace, which I will talk about in Shen Yuan’s section. 

Shen Yuan (SQQ 2.0)

One of SY’s most poggers moment of peripeteia is the glorious, terrifying section between hearing Binghe for the first time after the Abyss moment, and getting shoved into the Water Prison. 

“Behind him, a low and soft voice came: “Shizun?”

Shen Qingqiu’s neck felt stiff as he slowly turned his head. Luo Binghe’s face was the most frightening thing he had ever seen.

The scariest thing about it was that the expression on his face was not cold at all. His smile wasn’t sharp like a knife. Rather, it showed a kind of bone-deep gentleness and amiability.”

This is the moment of true horror for Shen Yuan, because he knows what happens next: the plot unfurls before him, inevitable and painful, and he knows that death awaits him at Luo Binghe's hands (lol). Compare it with the bone deep certainty with which he faces his own downfall during the sham of a trial later in the chapter (I’ve bolded the important part):

“In the original work, Qiu Haitang’s appearance signified only one thing: Shen Qingqiu’s complete fall from grace. [...] Shen Qingqiu’s heart streamed with tears. Great Master… I know you’re doing this for my own good, but I’ll actually suffer if she speaks her words clearly. This truly is the saying “not frightened of doing a shameful deed, just afraid the ghost (consequences) will come knocking”!”

After the peripeteia is usually the denouement where the plot wraps up and the threads are all tied together leaving no loose ends, but because this tragedy isn’t Shen Yuan’s but the former Shen Jiu’s, it’s impossible to finish. 

Shen Yuan cannot provide the meaningful answers that the narrative demands because 1) he doesn’t have any memory of doing anything, and 2) he wasn’t the person who did them. Narratively, he cannot follow the same path as the former SQQ because he lacks the same fatal flaw: cruelty. 

This is why Binghe doesn’t kill him - because he loves him, rather than despises him. And this is why Shen Yuan has to sacrifice himself and die for Luo Binghe in order to save him from Xin Mo: because the narrative demands that denouement follows peripeteia, and SQQ’s fate is in the hands of the narrative. 

(Side note: I believe that this literal death also represents the death of OG!SQQ's tragic arc. The body that committed all those crimes must die to satisfy the narrative. SQQ must die, like burning down a forest, so that new growth can sprout from the ashes. After this, Shen Yuan's story has more room to develop instead.)

It must happen to show Bingmei that SQQ loves him too. And this brings us to Bingmei.

Bingmei

Bingmei has two succinct moments of utter downfall. The first is a literal fall - his flaw, his demonic heritage, leads his beloved shizun to throw him down into the Abyss. From his point of view, SQQ is punishing him simply for the status of his birth. He rapidly goes from being loved and cherished unconditionally, to being the victim of an assassination attempt. 

He realises that he is totally unlovable: that for the crimes of his species that he never had a hand in, he must pay the price as well: that his shizun is so righteous that no matter what love there was between them, if SQQ sees a demon, he will kill it. Even if that demon is Bingmei. 

The second moment is when SQQ dies for him. Again, from his point of view, he was chasing after a man who was struggling to see him as a human being. Shen Qingqiu’s death makes Bingmei realise that he has been completely misunderstanding his shizun: that SQQ would literally die for him, the ultimate act of self sacrifice from love: that SQQ loved him despite his demon heritage. 

Much like King Lear holding the corpse of his daughter and wailing in sheer grief and pain because he did this, he caused this, Bingmei gets to hold his shizun's cold body and cry his eyes out and know that it was his fault. (Kind of.)

(Yes, I’m bringing Shakespeare into this, no I am not justifying myself)

Maybe I'm a bit sadistic, but that scene slaps. Let me show you a comparison of scenes so you get the picture. 

Re-enter KING LEAR, with CORDELIA dead in his arms; EDGAR, Captain, and others following

KING LEAR

Howl, howl, howl, howl! O, you are men of stones:

Had I your tongues and eyes, I'ld use them so

That heaven's vault should crack. She's gone for ever!

I know when one is dead, and when one lives;

She's dead as earth. Lend me a looking-glass;

If that her breath will mist or stain the stone,

Why, then she lives.

[...]

 KING LEAR

And my poor fool is hang'd! No, no, no life!

Why should a dog, a horse, a rat, have life,

And thou no breath at all? Thou'lt come no more,

Never, never, never, never, never!

Pray you, undo this button: thank you, sir.

Do you see this? Look on her, look, her lips,

Look there, look there!

Dies

Versus this scene in SVSSS: 

Luo Binghe turned a deaf ear to everything else, greatly agitated and at a loss of what to do. He was still holding Shen Qingqiu’s body, which was rapidly cooling down. It seemed like he wanted to call for him loudly and forcefully shake him awake, yet he didn’t dare to, as if he was afraid of being scolded. He said slowly, “Shizun?”

[...]

Luo Binghe involuntarily held Shen Qingqiu closer.

He said in a small voice, “I was wrong, Shizun, I really… know that I was wrong.

“I… I didn’t want to kill you…”

PAIN. SO MUCH BEAUTIFUL PAIN. Yes, I know Shakespeare isn’t Athenian, but he was inspired by the good old stuff and he also knew how to write a perfect tragedy on his own terms. Anyway. I’ll find more Greek examples later.

This post was a bit all over the place, but I hope it has been fun to read. Part Two will be coming At Some Point, Who Knows When. This is a bit messy and unedited, but hey, I’m not getting paid or graded, so you can eat any typos or errors. Unless you’re here to talk to me about Chinese tragedy, in which case, please pull up a seat, let me get you a drink, make yourself at home.

ps: if you want to retweet this, here is the promo tweet!