#bc i am 23 and letting myself get lame but
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choosing health and sleep over clubbing so i don't fall behind academically and like. this is what i meant when i said i was prioritizing school over everything this year bc this is my career and doing well this year seriously counts for getting into phd programs but. oooof.
#like. if i didn't have a date tomorrow i'd feel worse abt it#bc i am 23 and letting myself get lame but#idk. also drinking would make me feel super depressed tomorrow and i haven't been doing too great this week in general so.
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okay fine. ALL OF THEM. GO.
YOU'RE INSANE (am i even in that many fandoms)
the character everyone gets wrong
mad ducktor. enough said
2. a compelling argument for why your fave would never top or bottom
i'm presuming they meant dom or sub in this regard anyway i feel like all my faves are like lame ass switches and honestly i am SO tired of seeing them as always dom. boring behavior.
3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr
honestly i'm just tired of seeing takes in 2023 about my girl faves and how they're annoying and get in the way of either yaoi ships or selfships...
4. what was the last straw that made you finally block that annoying person?
not to go back into ducks again but i remember when the animaniacs reboot dropped i made a mutual with this super annoying person on twitter who kept talking about yakko warner and milk and about a week later an acquaintance of mine asked me how long i knew them and then said "we think that your new mutual is cannedtins"
5. worst discord server and why
im not in bad discord servers im normal 0:-)
i do have a lot of osc and em servers muted tho <:-D
6. which ship fans are the most annoying?
a looooooot of shippers are annoying LOL. as far as not freak ships go, i sure do have a lot of hate in my heart for fenro... but are fenro fans annoying.... idk. i curate myself a lot.
WAIT NO JOIKE GOD THOSE GUYS ARE SO ANNOYING
7. what character did you begin to hate not because of canon but because how how the fandom acts about them?
i CANT just say mad ducktor again.... but honestly? 4 and X bfdi.....
9. worst part of canon
closing time being canon to catch 22
10. worst part of fanon
i hate when fanon unanimously agrees on a gender and sexuality headcanon for a character especially when it's one i relate to and i could make their gender and sexuality so so so so much weirder...
11. number of fandom-related words you've filtered
at least a dozen? i dont like a lot of popular fandoms.
12. the unpopular character that you actually like and why more people should like them
i feel like all my unpopular faves are unpopular for good reason. i may not like the reason but im alone in my happiness.
anyway fanny bfb you should like her because she has a rough exterior and a soft interior.
13. worst blorboficiation
the guys from one but i dont mind too much because it's one.
14. that one thing you see in fics all the time
i see a lot of x reader shit and it always feels like every reader is like. the same 19 year old girl. and man we're different in every way.
15. that one thing you see in fanart all the time
cat ears
16. you can't understand why so many people like this thing (characterization, trope, headcanon, etc)
honestly i guess i get it bc they're both protags but spifan... it's kind of... BORING to me! no offense to ppl who do like it but i find myself more into prufan and pacome x zorglub....
17. there should be more of this type of fic/art
sheep in the big city fic and art that doesn't suck
18. it's absolutely criminal that the fandom has been sleeping on...
honestly i'm in so many fandoms where there's a hero x villain old man ship and in SO MANY OF THEM it is ignored.... SAD!
19. you're mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like...
let's just say there's a certain ship that goes against so many of my principles and yet i've shipped it for over a decade and got good friends to ship it too and leaf it there
20. part of canon you found tedious or boring
whatever the hell fireafy was doing in nubfb
21. part of canon you think is overhyped
clive dove professor layton. unwound future has better aspects
22. your favorite part of canon that everyone else ignores
i think ppl should pay more attention to misa in death note
23. ship you've unwillingly come around to
i used to hate mei x red son from monkie kid and now it's my top otp LOL
25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing
"stop watching kid shows" these ppl aren't watching kid shows they are JUST watching owl house if they were wathcing kid shows i'd have someone to talk about rocketeer 2019 with
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2/8/23 5:40 am
i can hear my family waking up lol i just hope nobody tries to talk to me right now. i'm not trying to be a dick but from 2 am to around 6 am is my alone time. something about those hours brings me peace. i feel like i never really have the time to sit and reflect on my day outside of these hours.
i don't know how i'm gonna manage working overnight :( it won't make a difference in my sleep schedule since i'm always up, i'm just gonna miss being able to sit up and think at the crack of dawn. i love when it's dark outside. i'd love to walk around at those hours but as much as i don't like to admit it or think about it i'm a girl and realistically, that's not safe to do alone.
anyway, let's reflect on the day and shit. i woke up around noon because my mom was calling me. i was blown bc she didn't respond and im not gon lie bra i was NOT getting up. but she called me again and my grandma came over! i haven't seen my grandma in a while she moved like 30 mins away and i don't drive :') but yea after she left i finagled some doordash for my mom and shit you know... but anyway yea i kinda don't remember what i did for the 4 hours following that. that is so concerning.
i hate how so many hours of the day just disappear from my head. i like to reflect and that's pretty hard when you don't remember what the fuck you was doing. but yea after those 4 mystery hours kev called me to come smoke and i made a lil deal wit daniel. nigga took me to my auntie house for a cinnamon bun LMFAOOO.
i been smoking a lot more ever since i came back from college. i don't really see it as a problem but i feel like the smell of weed is in so many of my clothes and wigs... the smell of weed doesnt bother me but why would i wanna walk around smelling like the drug i partake in? i like to get high tho lol it allows me to sleep like 75% of the time and it clears my head... i'm also wayyy nicer after i smoke. that's that boneca shit lmfaooo.
speaking of that dumb ass boneca shit, lemme tell y'all about this weirdo ass nigga. on my soul dat nigga act soooo lame to me bra. i don't know what it is... why do niggas do that disappearing shit on me every time? niggas be so fake busy bra but it's 24 hours in a day and all i want is a "hey how are you" maybe even a "good morning" but if i'm not that important to you i shouldn't be fuckin wit you right?
i think at this point i should stay to myself forever? but i don't know i want at least one valentine's day to be successful. but niggas is just so super duper fucking weird bra like if you don't wanna fw me fr just say that shit. if you just want sex say that. if you don't feel like talking just say that. i don't even ask for a lot fr, i ask for the bare minimum if we're being honest i could be asking for the world and then some. i know niggas don't always got it like that to be trickin, but when did i ever ask for that? and especially if you a nigga who claim dat he havin bra. if you was truly havin, you would come see me by now!!! i don't even want your money bra just put some gas in that dumb ass car and bring yourself.
anyway, i should sleep now right? i'll prolly talk to y'all in the morning... i'll tell y'all if that puto text me.
boa noite pra casa de boneca
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BOY BUTT
I MET MR KUNT AT BRPADWAY JUNCTION N I HAV HIS MUMBER . n i HAVLOST MI ASS CUZ OF FALLING DOWN THA STAIRS N A POLTERGEIST SOooooo now I HAV BOy butt. n HONEstly I Tink i also lost it from SAYING DED ASS TOO Mucho I maniFesteD it . :-\
iMADE A REMIX OF KISh ME on A GUITAR W A BROKEN N3cK tht goes LIK DIS .
“Kishh me
under the broadway junction stair case ,,
N let my . balls….
Swing swing ,
Oh so freeeee-eeely .”
i reAlized after snorting K mi friendz nailz in the dress aisle of Goodwill dat i will aLwayz AGREE TO THA golden Rule of Lyfe which is to NEVER step on the black part of the crosswalkz U can ONLY step on the white lineZ or u will LITERALLY DIE . N y is it more often than not , the things that we want r not the things we need and i feel like i’ll always be yearning for something more in store but the emptiness can’t b filled w just more of this n less of that n elaine says no one has good or bad luck just more or less of it .
Tha nxt time a strangwrr in a fox- pikachu costume cums up to meh n mi fwendz Wiff a guitar in tha wick n asks to sing Meh a song i will NO LONGER LIsten But buttle it by more fart jokez. Bc it has been yrs i hav had theese shower thoughts/questions/water based introspection: If u fart is it a culmination of all the farts around u cuz Ur breathing recycled farts in the air in side u ???? N on a. philosophical lvl. Nothing is original bitch. No one is original . Not even ur fooking fartsz.
Im tired of being so sexy and also so funny and also people expecting me to be the intimidating and mysterious and sexy person . I believe in kindness and being an internet troll n i grew up ugly n barely am making it to be kind of sexy within the last few years . So stop putting so much pressure on me Bith . Im literally an empath .
im Nvr going to party with scary Ukrainian fashion photographers again in greenpoint even tho they Hav free pizza <best food group> n their bosses r retired sexy models and also the closest deli near them has a free compOoter . N im done being strangers who drink old coffee at 2am’s outlets n shulder to cry on ab their exs w bpd . Cuz im empathetic to dat but also im tryna strictly VIOBE . N the vibeZ were not there . Plus i had an allergy attack n cried in the bathroom . :-/
i <3 waking up to phone calls at 7am/8am after i tried to induce sleep to myself w my 12MG mellytonin dissolvable tabletz N goin to get happie hour b4 it opens n debating new piercings n brainstorming new tattooz n stealing salt shakerz from restaurants w moi best fwendzzzz. It is so fukin Kold in Nyc n im waiting for my seattle he they cutie to move back to nyc so we can give each other allergy attacks by sniffing 2 many flowers at maria hernandez n then claritin n chill . N show them mi plushies . Cuz rn meow dating lyfe is like casual but I don’t need messy ass ppl . N i don’t believe in ghosting bc every1 deserves to have a convo but Meh . Thts objective lol . n It’s pointless to argue or submerge myself in a convo ive already had w someone where they have historically been defensive n Ugh lames . Only dating ppl like 23+ yr old n up now . :-]
I almost slapped the doggone giv a dog a bone dog shit out of the bouncer at purgatory N also this Girl who accused me of “cutting the line” at Elsewhere when i was guestlisted N also this person who narced on me the beg of the Yr at tha party but i chose world peace . N zen . N kava over stogies now . Smh . Miso soup over mala base , red hot chili peppers over deftones . Hot cheetos over takiz. Smh . i rly need my karma to reverse .
werk has been alrite n im soooo sad sag season is almost over . I realized i love cucumbers so much the last few wks n i am not afraid to show n tell ab it . i Love all the saggitiusrss in my life n i hav luved the consecutive bday parties ive gone to the last few weekz in which ppl have fallen asleep in their wolf costumes after doing One bump of K and screaming at Alexa to play Sleeping wiff sirenz. N trying to go to tinas but their hours r weird now apparently so we all end up at Sum random Dunkin Donut Hole place where my ex used to yell at meh at 6am . N i luv all of the he theys i hav met within the last few weekz who drink white clawz n have pretty faces n All the goth girls who also have snakebites who Kiss me n tell me if i wanted a sprite they would buy me a sprite . tho the tru drug of choice here is Vanilla coke , i Am extremely flattered . <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
ive been spending alot more time on tumblr cuz it Just feelzz rite n wayyyy better cuz now PORN ;0 isback here. n idk if yall rly kno but ya . tumblr is likebACK cuz twitter is kinda lamess now. sigh . playing in Parks w ex situationships r fun n even fugging in Bars called Bar r fun but i almost got choked out by my Ali express vivienne westwood necklace at the playground N tht shuld hav been a sign I shuld hav went home. idk y i alwayzz put mi heart on tha line 4 Ppl i kno kant rly take kare of it the way i want 2. Im Goin to b working my last shift at holiday market Thurs evening then going to LA p much rite after s000000. Ima try to pull sum rockstar shit there nalso make 100 dumplings w my mummy for xmas even tho Lunar yr is technically way better n Idk why We as taiwanese ppl even care ab xmas so much butt.
My boy butt says BYE!!!!!!! n Til nxt week ?! <3
xoxoxoX0 , meunster cheeze is not monsterous Believer/civil rites activist/where do i find gahndi fan fiction online/lactose intolerance lactaid pills thtr expired dnt work save urself n ur liver advocate , renny ;]]
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Nov 16 Stream Timestamps
Timestamps from Technoblade’s “THE REVOLUTION (dream SMP)”
Link to my youtube comment with all of the timestamps x
Timestamps with hyperlinks below
02:13 “This is a surprise tool which will help us later” / thumbnail isn’t foreshadowing / video thumbnails have to be big / stream thumbnails can be detailed 05:17 “The traitor is actually Jschlatt” / firework crafting 09:50 “The ratio is impeccable” 13:23 “Dream’s in the game! My audience retention rate” / vc with Tubbo & Quackity / traitor Jschlatt theory / “Are you high?” “A little” 14:47 “You’re a bit of a wildcard” “I am the most consistent character on the entire server” / “What’s this about getting into power” / “We’ll burn this bridge when we get to it” 15:54 “You really are such an English major” / “You’re an idiom” / malaphor / “I’m actually speaking twice as much English as you guys” 18:07 “I think Thunder is overcompensating in the chat” / “Where can you see me” “In my heart” (Karl & Quackity) / Karl not leaving vc 20:33 vc with Niki / “Did Tubbo just leave me? I spaced out for 2 seconds” / “You can’t call everyone the traitor” “I can & will” 22:45 “You know it’s an event when Skeppy’s here” / “You know it’s a big deal when Georgenotfound wakes up” / “Everyone leaves me” 23:31 explaining the traitor thing to Niki / “Maybe I’m a sleeper agent” / had to kill Tubbo 25:03 nothing happened with that creeper / Fundy interrogating Niki / “Why did I train her for MCC” 25:54 “Even YOU’RE leaving me” / sad music / “I’m sitting here with 203k viewers & it’s not enough for any of these streamers to bear talking to me for more than 60 seconds” / Skeppy joins vc to immediately leave 28:50 Karl has a gift for Techno / Karl is just here for the animatic 32:21 “At least the chat won’t leave me” / pays for his music 35:01 “I’m going to destroy the government so bad” / “I hate all of the farming updates on skyblock” 37:45 joining a vc / “I just got stood up in like 4...conversations in rapid succession” / “My new years resolution was to make friends & it’s november & I’ve made zero headway” / Eret switches sides 41:53 Ender chest setup / worried about hotbar management / potions > shields 43:13 vc with allies / “Karl you are literally the biggest third wheel I have ever seen” 45:03 angering the dogs / trident combo 47:13 “D!ck with one ball” (Tubbo) 50:25 “Let’s hope Wil overslept like [George]” 53:09 recruiting Eret / “If you fight on our side we’ll make you the King of Burger King” / “He’ll be an executive citizen” / “I’m surrounded by idiots” 54:58 putting Schlatt on the allies list / “Schlatt is an alcoholic high on protein power” (Fundy) 56:47 can’t trust Eret / “I hate it when you’re right” (Tubbo) / Wilbur joins vc 59:50 having a moment with Hubert / “Not even the mobs like me” / sad music / “I just gained 8k subscribers the sadness is gone” / cow pit exp farm 1:02:57 vc with Niki / “I’m going to join the other vc AHHHHH” 1:05:02 “Once everyone meets up...I have something prepared” / “Technoblade when are you not ready?” “When I joined the server” 1:09:38 “Who do you take me for? Of course I’ve read the Art of War. It’s written by Mozart” / battle planning 1:12:18 “This is the betrayal...happening very slowly” 1:13:35 Pan1 / “This revolution is so doomed” 1:15:29 Dream attack / Quackity dies 1:18:07 “Agree Retweet” / “Violence is the only universal language” / “i have a supply” / “Why do you talk in upwards inflections constantly?” 1:19:57 Techno not getting to talk / “He took it all by force didn’t he” / “Fear into Ear” 1:23:50 Techno telling everyone he has a stash twice / distributing blue / mushroom the fox 1:26:49 Tommy talking over Techno again / “Stop going off on your tangents” “We have food at home” 1:29:30 vault reveal / Tubbo stealing emeralds / secret chest 1:32:40 “Shut up bro you are green as shit” (Tommy) / “Everyone give me back my stuff you don’t deserve it” 1:34:41 no netherite swords / “Who’s the traitor” “Promise we won’t be mad” 1:36:31 battle / Technoblade trident maneuvering / giving rocket launchers to Tubbo & Tommy 1:40:27 killing Karl / Dream bringing out the end crystals / fighting invis Dream / purpled switches sides 1:43:57 Dream wants to talk / 309k / group photos 1:46:08 vc with Dream / “But only if my enemy insists” / in the van with Schlatt / “What are you doing in my drug van? It better not be drugs” / Tommy preparing to shoot Schlatt 1:54:42 “We won” / “We killed an old man with heart problems! It only took 20 of us!” / President Innit / subscribe to Technoblade sign 1:55:57 Dream & Techno talk in chat / Tommy speech / “It was meant to be” / “I don’t think anyone is bowing to Tommyinnit” / “Karl don’t be weird” / Skeppy has a disc 1:59:06 Techno being apprehensive on mute / Tommy makes Wilbur President / “I’ll be the president” “I’m gonna veto that” / “Techno...you’ve taught me that government is not the way to go” / Wilbur makes Tubbo president 2:03:20 “I’m not sure I like where this is going x2” / “I’m not sure this is a good ending” / “Team chaos” “Perhaps” 2:06:20 Techno shoots Tubbo / Philza joins / “You think Schlatt was the cause of your problems? No. It was government” / speech gets interrupted / “The government ends here, I’ll kill it myself!” 2:09:23 Phil kills Wilbur / techno yelling for silence / “Tommy you just did a coup...& instilled yourself as president” 2:12:11 “If you want to be a hero THAN DIE LIKE ONE” / wither spawning / killing his former allies 2:15:09 post fight talks / “There will be no new government today. It will be over my dead body” / “Techno was not the traitor” 2:18:50 “I need to increase the crater that is L’Manberg so that no country can rise in its place” / “Mom says it’s my turn on the flame bow” 2:23:51 “What I’m doing right now is small scale. This is the work of an individual. This is nothing compared to the cruelty governments all around the world [inflict]...systematically” / “Llamas are the primary victims of war” / “I just wanna be apart of the explosion” (George) 2:27:06 Techno joins vc / connor joins the server / “I hope you’re proud of yourself Techno” “I kinda am” / Jack Manifold (Thunder) being broke / netherite armor 2:32:30 “Beach episode” / Techno accidentally joins the L’Manberg vc 2:35:16 the base is compromised / “There’s no way Technoblade would put a clock there if it didn’t mean anything” / got robbed 2:37:37 “If you’re going to ask me how I got all these emerald & arrows that’s a story for another day” / explaining the bedrock / “I can give everyone stuff & it’ll be such a flex” 2:40:24 Greek mythology 2:41:45 The Golden Apple / “They didn’t use discord back then they used skype, so can’t invite Eris” / “Zeus the god of feminism” 2:46:02 Eret recruiting Techno to kill George / joining vc / “Let’s stop him before he gets land” / Awesamdude proposing a fight 2:49:08 “No one can kill me I’m invincible” (logs out) / Dream literally names the turtle potions Sam thinks he hasn’t heard of / “I’m at soup” / “It’s not smack talk he just has that many items” 2:53:06 “Stab him Dream, I’ll shout encouraging words” / Techno fighting Bad & Ant 2:56:23 Dream wins / “I think there was this Dream guy attacking you with some sort of weapon” 3:00:11 turtle potions / Dream hyping up Techno about fighting BBH / Badlands negotiating with George 3:04:34 vc with Philza 3:07:00 spider farm afk’ing / lagging Quackity’s computer 3:09:06 smp earth / Phil only logged on to back Techno up 3:10:32 killing George / “I’m gonna drop his armor off don’t jump me” / not fighting Dream 3:13:00 vc with Karl & Phil / Karl definitely not starting a government / “Chat that was the boring part, don’t leave” / 320k / “Why do we keep scheduling these on Monday?” 3:16:18 “I don’t even want to think about how famous Tommy will be in the future” / “I get a tad bitter” / covid is good for youtubers but obviously bad / “I’m so good at socially distancing” 3:19:51 “Aren’t you tired of being nice Philza? Don’t you just wanna go crazy” / “You should be wary of the old in a profession where people die young” / vc with Eret 3:21:47 “What if you built a slightly larger throne next to it?” / “How are they paranoid of a mole but the guy with a track record of being a traitor gets no questions asked” 3:25:47 “I’m gonna place a block at the bottom & kill you instantly” / reverse mlg / emerald rich even with Tubbo’s theft 3:27:57 “I’ll allow it” / upstairs chests robbed / Eret disconnects with the book 3:32:04 armor sabotage bc he thought it’d be 1v5 / crystals are mutually assured destruction / Wilbur afraid of tnt getting blown up early 3:34:11 the diary was actually Eret’s / “He’s gonna tell everyone who I have a crush on. Nooo” / reading the 100 page book / “Can I not win here?” “No” 3:40:14 “This stream has released more serotonin in my brain than the last 6 months combined” / revolution was overcrowded / could improve the crater 2:43:09 “Awkward ten minute period where I’m just sitting there watching them set up a new government but I can’t kill them yet” / Carl is missing 3:44:34 “The one time Technoblade is gonna roleplay & they talk over him” / “CARL” / “As long as Sapnap isn’t the one that took him there’ll still be hope” 3:46:10 “Once you start using end crystals it’s the only pvp that matters & end crystal pvp is so lame” / Webtoons 3:49:10 “What’s going to happen to you & WIlbur now?” “I don’t know, I think I’m chill with Wilbur” / “The only thing that changed is my voice. Zero personal growth” / lines from the first speech that got interrupted / “King George is trending booo” 3:52:00 1 million twitter followers / “O god it’s been four hours...I am not built for this” / did a 13 hour stream once / sub growth goals 3:56:30 “What the heck is Phil watching”
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PREFERRED NAME — nora. i think i started going by it in like, 2009?? my full name is eleanor but i hated it n thought it was way too pretentious n i never felt like it fitted me so when i started writing on forums i decided i’d be a nora rather than eleanor and then my school friends called me it and it just kinda stuck, the only person who calls me eleanor is my mum
PRONOUNS — she / her / ethereal being beyond comprehension
AGE — 23 but i tell everyone im 21 because even tho time is literally fake im desperately clinging to that fleeting thing we call youth trying to catch it like smoke in my hands
PINTEREST — i actually have two. this one is my main one where i just cram all my shit n i’ve had it for years and some of its super unorganised. then i also have this one which is one i made for exclusively female characters. it started as mythological figures but now its like, women in literature and the occasional oc as well. variety is the spice of life!
DISCORD — lindsay lohan’s meth#8664
TUMBLR (PERSONAL/MUSE/RPH) — i used to be froseths but now im pvrscphones cos ya gal is a fucking whore for mythology
OTHER SOCIAL MEDIA YOU’D LIKE TO SHARE — oi oi guvna ere’s me twitta. also here’s my letterboxd n my goodreads if anyone still uses tht
MYER-BRIGGS — enfp / infp border .... the classic profile of a lit student
HP HOUSE — hufflepuff, am fuckin mad.
ZODIAC — libra which is a joke because i am in no way balanced but i guess i AM indecisive and a peacekeeper so?
DO YOU BELIEVE IN ASTROLOGY? — i believe it when it says good shits gonna happen in my life and blame it if bad shit happens but i don’t strongly follow it i just find it interesting
HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STARTED RPING ON TUMBLR — maybe like 14?? my first rp blog here is literally so embarassing i wrote as clove from the hunger games n my best friend irl wrote cato :/ it was wild
WHAT YEAR WAS IT? — like 9 years ago?? 2010 maybs
NAME A RANDOM ROLEPLAY THAT STICKS OUT IN YOUR MEMORY — me n my friend ellie made this really cool group the summer before we left for uni which was loosely based on a concept mentioned mayb once in the divergent series, but it gave us loads of freedom to make it our own thing. it was called the fringe n it was like..... this dystopian society where people with different genes were cut off from the rest of society n lived in overrun slum cities where different groups had like, a monopoly over weapons, produce, etc.... my character jack was the leader of this lost-boy-esque tribe called the wolf pack who were hunters n used to run across the rooftops wearing the skins of animals they’d killed and engage in tribal rituals with sacrifices to the gods n shit. sounds lame but everyone there was so invested in their character arcs that it was a shame to see it go. but ! it kind of reached its end point so we blew it up w nukes n they all died. tragic.
WHAT WEIRD ANIMAL WOULD YOU HAVE AS A PET IF IT WAS REALISTIC — a fox?? do ppl keep foxes? idk i’ve always just felt a sense of connection w them like when a fox stares at me im like this shit is life i am living and breathing in this bitch.... visceral
NAME THE FIRST SONG ON YOUR DISCOVER WEEKLY ON SPOTIFY OR THE FIRST SONG THAT COMES ON APPLE MUSIC / ITUNES SHUFFLE — everbody party tonight by cobra man n summer girl by haim..... not my usual stuff but big summer chillin vibes,.....
NAME A BOOK THAT YOU READ IN SCHOOL THAT YOU SURPRISINGLY LIKED — lord of the flies and also the handmaid’s tale. one of assignments was to write a chapter from another character’s perspective n i chose moira
NAME A BOOK YOU HATED THAT MOST PEOPLE LIKED — skellig. fuck off with ur asprin ugly bat man i don’t care. also of mice and men. don’t care about the rabbits or curley’s goddamn wife.
WHAT TV SHOW DID YOU RECENTLY BINGE? — im not a big binger bc i find it jst makes me depressed if i watch tv all day but im nearly finished stranger things season 3 n i recently finished euphoria (big rec but proceed w caution as quite triggering content)
FAVOURITE QUOTE — cool girl speech from gone girl. but also “there’s something dangerous about the boredom of teenage girls” i know its like.... such an overused quote but it really encapsulates this kind of feral girlhood that a few of my characters like bridget n greta have tapped into. i also loved the line “i feel like i could eat the world raw” from song of achilles, that really captures this kind of.... pure n childlike enthusiasm tht i wanna achieve w rory
LINK TO A VINE THAT EXUDES YOUR ‘ENERGY’ — this is my energy completely am always covered in glitter n staring broodily out of the windows of ubers at 4am like im in the sad bit of an indie film
DO YOU WRITE OUTSIDE OF RP? WHAT DO YOU WRITE? — uhh.... not as much as i shd.... i want to be a writer so i shd be makin some effort to get my stuff Out Into The World but im just not.... lol. ive done a lot of poetry collections . i wnt to finish a novel @ some point too.
THREE YOUTUBERS YOU STILL TRUST — bold of you to assume i trust any youtubers
A CELEBRITY CRUSH THAT JUST WON’T QUIT — id literally die for saoirse ronan n timothee chalamet :/ chance perdomo also owns my ass.
EVER MEET A CELEBRITY? SHARE YOUR STORY — i once high-fived dani harmer, the actress who played tracy beaker. today my sister text me tryin to make me guess what celebrity she just saw on holiday in wales and for ages she let me think it was timmothee but it was actually bradley walsh from the chase :/
WHAT’S YOUR PICTURE-PERFECT NIGHT? — i am in a bomb ass crop top and mini skirt, several scrunchies in my hair, glitter all over my face, wearing cowboy boots. we eat dinner in a trendy but affordable pub that doubles up as a cocktail bar n then we drink zombies or sex on the beaches n go to a rave where everyone is on the same wavelength n i share drugs with girls in the toilets and we swap numbers knowing we will never text each other but its ok bc in that moment we feel like we are soulmates and everyone is super drunk n touching everyone else n its all very visceral and we walk through the woods when the rave ends and lie in the grass because we wish to suck out all the marrow of life
A CONSPIRACY THEORY YOU KINDA BELIEVE IN — princess diana was murdered
ARE ALIENS REAL? — maybe the real aliens are the friends we made along the way
PLAY ANY PHONE GAMES? WHICH ONES? — love island game im addicted and way too invested in my fictional relationship with bobby, a cartoon
WHAT’S A FILM YOU LOVED WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG AND RECENTLY WATCHED, ONLY TO FIND OUT YOU DON’T ANYMORE — bold of u to assume i remember my childhood. but if we’re talking last 10 years angust, thongs n perfect snogging is so so cringe
DO YOU COLLECT ANYTHING? — pairs of glasses belonging to other ppl when they break / get new ones even though i can see perfectly well.
WHAT’S SOMETHING YOU WANT TO LEARN MORE ABOUT BUT YOU’RE TOO LAZY? — mythology...... always a craving and a wish i’d read like ancient texts but my school wasn’t good enough to do greek or latin or any of that shit n even tho i could read english translations i cant be bothered. also criminal psychology
THREE LANGUAGES YOU DON’T SPEAK, BUT WISH YOU COULD — italian, french and latin
MOVIE YOU’VE WATCHED MORE THAN 5 TIMES — ladybird, about time, angus thongs, shrek 2, what we do in the shadows, the history boys, atonement, coraline, the breakfast club, ferris bueller’s day off
NAME A FICTIONAL CHARACTER FROM TV/FILM/MOVIE/GAME/BOOK THAT YOU FIND YOURSELF PROJECTING ON / YOU RELATE TO — cecilia lisbon. rue in euphoria. alison brie in glow. adam parrish in the raven cycle. richard papen. olivia cooke’s character in thoroughbreds. allen ginsberg in kill your darlings. lily in sex education. holliday grainger’s character in the film animals --- i too am an aspiring writer who never writes and just gets drunk instead .
DO YOU FOLLOW ANY SPORTS? WHO DO YOU ROOT FOR? — no. cba
HOBBIES BESIDES WASTING AWAY HERE? — i go to the movies basically every day bcos i work in a cinema. im also a voracious reader n i occasionally do theatre or costume making
PLUG A TV SHOW / MOVIE / BOOK / VIDEO GAME / ETC… YOU WISH MORE PEOPLE WOULD CHECK OUT — where the wild things are (film by spike jonze). animals. beats. the book fen by daisy johnson and a girl is a half formed thing by eimar mcbride. andy warhol’s biography from a to b and back again
WHOSE BRAIN WOULD YOU LIKE TO PICK, ALIVE OR DEAD? — phoebe waller-bridge on how i get her life. carey mulligan on how she got to be such a good actress n how i can become her. maybs wes anderson. maybs gillian flynn. i tend to listen to podcasts w the ppl i really wanna pick the brains of.
TEAM EDWARD OR JACOB? — edward :/
LAST MOVIE SEEN IN THEATRE — blinded by the light n i lovd it
DO YOU STILL READ? — when i finished uni i kinda got out of the habit but this week i finished two books so ive set myself the challenge of a book a week.
IF SO, WHAT ARE YOU CURRENTLY READING? — i finished song of achilles yesterday n i also finished call me by your name yesterday. started circe by madeline miller today, im also partway through milkman by anna burns and the plays of annie barker
ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW MUCH DID YOU HATE FILLING THIS OUT? – 3 i didnt hate it bcos at heart i am self-indulgent and love fashioning some sense of self when i feel lost in a world that is scary and constantly changing
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01. what’s your name/alias you go by ??
my name is jeff !! lmfao (i don’t let memes die) it’s not my real name but i’ve gone by cody on tumblr for a long time
02. what’s your age ??
twenty. jfc i’m old. but also apparently a fetus??
03. what’s your zodiac sign ??
aries, which couldn’t feel further from correct lmfao
04. what’s your ethnicity ??
uhh mostly italian & sicilian, but you could probably point to any white place in europe and i’ll have a little bit of that in me. i’m also 1/16th native american but it’s such a small amount and sadly i don’t even know which tribe to learn more about them.
05. what’s your nationality ??
‘murican
06. what’s your favorite band and/or musical artist ??
i’m super indecisive about everything, so it’s difficult for me to pick faves (as you’ll see in a sec) but… mac miller, post malone, johnny cash, eminem, tenacious d, colter wall, kehlani, bruno mars, snoop dogg, elvis presley, justin timberlake, sublime, the rolling stones, etc etc there’s probably a lot i’m forgetting tho. i like most types of music except country. well, modern country anyway.
07. what’s your dream job ??
uh, i don’t have one? i mean yeah, i’d love to be a writer, or game dev, or a narrative director on a game, or direct, write, or act in movies or television, but like…i could live without any of that stuff. i just want to make a decent living, be able to own a house, not completely hate my job. yknow, not a glamorous life but a good one.
08. what’s one place you would love to visit ??
idk there’s a lot of places i’d like to go, but i’d most like to visit alpha centauri, even tho that’ll never happen lol
09. what’s your favorite tv show ??
i can’t pick that! but i love a lot of shows. general hospital, lucifer, the 100, supernatural, stranger things, izombie, south park, legends of tomorrow, once upon a time, arrow (at times), dragon ball, big brother, riverdale, chilling adventures of sabrina, that 70′s show, the ranch, umm… i could probably keep listing forever.
10. what’s your favorite movie ??
hmmmm, again i’ve got a list but… joe dirt, the new guy, why him, the waterboy, 50 first dates, all the spider-man movies, thor ragnarok, man of steel, 21 jump street, 22 jump street ,and a fuckton more lol
11. what’s your favorite song ??
constantly in flux, but the current faves are — creep by radiohead, stay by post malone, no below by speedy ortiz, unshaken by d’angelo, cruel cruel world by willie nelson, wanksta by 50 cent, shooter by lil wayne & robin thicke, stressed out by 21 pilots, self care by mac miller (along with practically everything on his final album), and i will always, un-ironically love only in america by riff raff. he’s not the greatest ever but that song is hilarious and always puts me in a good mood.
12. what’s your favorite sport ??
can i say rocket league? lol
13. what’s your favorite food ??
pizza, unquestionably. cereal is a damn close second tho. or pot stickers. damn, i’m hungry…
14. what’s your favorite face claim to use ??
typically, i’ve always really liked using paul wesley, chris wood, and matt daddario. i’m using lindsey morgan for the first time now though, and i really like her as an fc too.
15. what’s your least favorite face claim ??
to use?? um pretty much any singer or model just bc their resources aren’t too great. i really didn’t enjoy using pete davidson as much as i thought i would, either lol
to see… uh probs emma roberts or andy biersack. emma for obvs reasons but also bc i once had a really bad experience with people using those fcs. idm people using whoever they feel like using tho.
16. what’s your favorite character of yours to play ?? which do you think you’re most like ??
oh man, uhh i really enjoy writing chrissy & theo. they both speak to me. but tbh i’m not much like any of my characters? i’m boring af so i tend not to make any like me lol. i am kinda like theo in the sense that i’m quiet, and really just try to be a good person. other than that i’m most like jason solely based on the fact we’re both human lol
17. what’s your sexuality ??
danversexual. attracted only to fictional danvers women, examples including carol, kara, and alex danvers.
lmfao but nah i’m just a boring straight boy. well, like 99.9% straight. jensen ackles makes me question shit.
18. what’s the last movie you saw in a cinema/theater ??
captain marvel (thanks to dani lol). only two months late but it was worth the experience haha.
19. what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had ??
thankfully i’ve never really hurt myself too terribly except for a broken wrist, but between the ages of 10-17 i’d occasionally hurt my back by sitting weird, usually in an attempt to play video games without the glasses i desperately needed lol. once when i was like 11 i laid belly down on the couch with my elbows up on the arm of it for like three hours, which messed me up for days, then a few other times i hurt myself, but another bad one when i was 17, i had my back curved while sitting and propping my laptop up on my knee, tried to move and literally just cried, crawled on the floor, and laid there all night until i forced myself to move in the morning. lol luckily it hasn’t happened since i lost a little weight.
20. what’s a random or interesting fact about you ??
uhm, nothing? i literally can’t think of one, i’m dull af. i uh.. i replaced my own cpu cooler once? lmfao
21. do you listen to music while you write ??
sometimes. a lot of time i just like the silence or ambient background noise, but if i’ve got a fitting playlist for the vibe of what i’m trying to write, i’ll use it!
22. are you a morning, day, evening, or night writer ??
i’m a never writer, apparently v___v but lol ideally a night writer, my best work is between the hours of 12am & 4am, but my sleeping schedule is so inconsistent, and so is my dad’s who spends literally every waking moment of his telling me different stuff he wants done, so it’s tough to hit that sweet spot. i write whenever i get a chance tho.
23. have you ever roleplayed intoxicated ??
lol nah i’ve never even had a drink. like what teenager doesn’t have a drink at some point?? i told you i’m lame.
24. what language or languages do you speak ??
english, barely. and assassin’s creed 2 taught me some italian swears. and ac: odyssey has had me occasionally dropping “malaka” bombs since the day i first played it haha.
25. how long have you roleplayed ??
officially, about 9 years. i started at 11 on myspace, rping dragon ball z stuff. but basically about 12 years, if you count how from the ages of 8-11 i’d put an anime pic up on my myspace, pretend i was older, and talk to roleplayers i didn’t realize were roleplayers lmfao.
26. favorite roleplay genre ??
i like pretty much anything, tbh. as long as it’s well thought out, has an interesting plot, or whatever. sometimes it doesn’t even need that, it just needs to catch my eye or line up with something i’m looking for. but yeah, supernatural, multi-fandom, sci-fi, romance, town rps, high school/college rps, anime rp (well, pokemon mostly), harry potter… i’ve done it all tbh and don’t particularly have a favorite.
27. one sound you hate & one you love ??
the sound of cotton stretching is the absolute worst thing to me. or scratching cotton. idk, it just sends chills up and down my spine and makes my hands feel weak lmfao. i’m weird. i really love the sound of rain, or fire crackling, or like “ambient” harp or ukulele music.
28. do you believe in ghosts ??
short answer, yes. long answer… i’m pretty sure i was friends with a ghost girl as a kid?? like no joke, even looking back at it through rational “adult” eyes, i’m still convinced. my fam moved into a new apartment, and pretty much right after that i started having dreams about a girl my age at the time (11-12). i’d never seen her before but the dreams would be like just conversations, like i was visiting a friend or something. i don’t remember them much, but i do remember the feeling of someone else in my room all the time, like you know how if someone else is around you just know even if you’re not looking at them? like that. there was even one night i was getting in bed, laid there a minute, and then i could have absolutely sworn somebody came in the room and sat down next to me on the bed because i felt the bed sink a little under their weight, but i looked and no one was there. i had a really vivid conversation/dream/thing that night. then a few nights later, for the first time since moving there i didn’t have one. the next morning my dad was really freaked out and said he fell asleep in the chair, but woke up and couldn’t breathe, and felt cold little hands over his mouth. he rationalized it as just waking up from a nightmare but i didn’t think so, so that night when i went to sleep and saw her i got really upset, yelled at her for it, and woke up right after. then i never saw or heard anything even remotely similar again, like she left or disappeared or something. it’s so weird, and i know how crazy it sounds, but yeah. don’t get me started on the topic of ghosts lmfao. THEN AGAIN, like a year later we had a carbon monoxide scare, but i really doubt the two were related because that would mean there was an entire year that we were breathing it in and the monitor didn’t do anything lol
29. do you believe in aliens ??
no alien story, thankfully, but it just makes no sense not to believe in them to me. like, we probably don’t have them on earth, and we’ve probably never encountered any, but it��s as close as you can get to a mathematical certainty that there’s some other life out there in the universe.
30. do you believe in true love ??
like, people who are just meant for each other, like romantic soulmates? nah not really. but i believe that two people can grow to truly love one another. whether it’s based off an initial attraction/infatuation, or a friendship, or both. i’d actually argue that’s a simple explanation of the biological science behind the feeling of love, but that’s an essay i’m not gonna write lol. but there’s apparently a lot of different types of love, so i guess “true love” is suggestive?
also slightly unrelated but i don’t-quite-believe-in-but-am-open-to-the-idea-of soulmates, not necessarily as two souls who are just meant for each other romantically and always end up together, but more as two or more souls that gravitate toward each other to make up the important people in each other’s lives, like family members, lovers, or close friends. but that’s more of a theoretical idea/possibility than an actual belief of mine.
31. do you hold grudges ??
um, yes. lol i try not to, and i really do want everyone to be their best/happiest selves, but some people man… some people can take a long walk off a short pier lmao
32. do you have any obsessions right now ??
PO KE MON GOTTA CATCH EM ALLLLL. also… life is strange (thanks dani lol). supernatural. stranger things (thanks dani & steph) the 100 / clexa / becho (thanks steph). lucifer. captain marvel (thanks dani). the song “creep” by radiohead and all its covers (tom ellis, haley reinhart, etc). cyberpunk 2077 (thanks dani). as you can see, i’m easily influenced lmfao.
33. do you drive & if so, have you ever been in a crash ??
nope i don’t drive, precisely because i’d definitely end up in a crash lol
34. do you like the smell of gasoline ??
uh that’s a big fat no from me, chief
35. do you prefer writing fluff, angst, or smut ??
i like it all equally, i think. i just really like writing & rp in general. i did run a smut rp once in the past tho. it gets old quick tbh and is the one of the three i can live without lol
36. are you in a relationship ??
bahahahahahahaha no.
37. grab the nearest book to you and turn to page 23, what is the 17the line ??
❝ “and why would that be?” kronos’s golden eyes glittered. ❞
— the last olympian by rick riordan.
38. put your playlist on shuffle and list the first four songs that pop up:
1. season of the witch – donovan 2. riot van – arctic monkeys 3. busta rhymes – qveen herby 4. der kommissar – after the fire
also i gotta cheat because it’s too perfect that the next two are
5. stay – mac miller (one of my favorites ever that i forgot to mention above) 6. only in america – riff raff (i just love this ok. the video is hilarious but tw james franco for those that don’t like him)
#pandemonium: task#// i’m always last 😔 lmfao#// also this is like a mile long idek why so if you actually read this?? you’re a saint lol#→ por queue
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All Of Them (multiples of 3 work tho dhdhgfj)
@furrybarista asked for a few as well but here we are
1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?
last person i dmed? yeah
2. You talked to an ex today, correct?
every day
3. Have you taken someones virginity?
nope
4. Is trust a big issue for you?
not really
5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?
ive hung out with One person recently
6. What are you excited for?
dnd in about 2 hours!
7. What happened tonight?
well tonight im playing dnd, last night i finished watching dread?
8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?
i think its uncomfortable to be around anyone whos really wasted, idk about disgusting
9. Is confidence cute?
yes
10. What is the last beverage you had?
i currently have a strawberry smoothie from pulp
11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?
thats a difficult question to answer when i and almost all of my friends are trans and thats confusingly worded in this context
12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?
yes
13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?
either play video games or dnd, probably
14. What are you going to spend money on next?
probably starbucks
15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?
nope
16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?
absolutely
17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?
probably dante or luca
18. The last time you felt broken?
i prefer not to think about that because its very often
19. Have you had sex today?
no
20. Are you starting to realize anything?
not that i can think of rn
21. Are you in a good mood?
yeah!
22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?
yes!
23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?
probably? idk i try to avoid eye contact with him
24. What do you want right this second?
to kiss my boyfriend
25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?
well, given that i know You, dante, you wouldnt just go and kiss someone else without talking to me about it, and assuming a conversation about that happened, i would be supportive of that endeavor
26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?
sort of? its still brown on the sides but i dyed it red a couple months ago so its pink on top
27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?
probably not
28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?
I HAVE SO MANY PEOPLE I WANNA HUG AND NEVER LET GO SO IM JUST GONNA MAKE A KATAMARI OF LOVE
29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?
ALL MY FRIENDS
30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?
depends what they did and how they feel about it
31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?
THE LAST BOY I WAS TALKING TO WAS U DANTE
32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?
I SURE HOPE U DO
33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?
i Rarely drink soda
34. Listening to?
in one ear by cage the elephant
35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?
yep!
36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?
not specifically
37. Do you believe in love at first sight?
nope
38. Who did you last call?
my mom probably
39. Who was the last person you danced with?
uhhh i think booker in 8th grade. i dont dance
40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?
because we were dating and we wanted to
41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?
last night
42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?
nope
43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?
i embarrass myself in front of everyone, all the time
44. Do you tan in the nude?
i have a goddamn farmer’s tan
45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?
nope!
46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?
yeah
47. Who was the last person to call you?
also my mom, probably
48. Do you sing in the shower?
yes
49. Do you dance in the car?
yeah,
50. Ever used a bow and arrow?
i have an archery range in my basement
51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
school photos last year
52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
YES AND I LOVE THEM
53. Is Christmas stressful?
yes but purely bc of family interaction
54. Ever eat a pierogi?
all the time??
55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
apple
56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
uhh i wanted to be an astronaut for a while
57. Do you believe in ghosts?
yeah
58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
who doesnt
59. Take a vitamin daily?
nope
60. Wear slippers?
nah
61. Wear a bath robe?
i own one, dont wear it often
62. What do you wear to bed?
t shirt and pjam pants
63. First concert?
owl city
64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
walmart i guess?
65. Nike or Adidas?
i own a pair of adidas shoes thats abt it66. Cheetos Or Fritos?
fritos
67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
sunflower seeds
68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?
no.
69. Ever take dance lessons?
nope
70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
i forget the exact words but the cool nerd stuff u do,
71. Can you curl your tongue?
yes
72. Ever won a spelling bee?
never been in one
73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
all the time
74. What is your favorite book?
lame but the great gatsby
75. Do you study better with or without music?
i dont study well, period
76. Regularly burn incense?
hate it
77. Ever been in love?
i am right now!
78. Who would you like to see in concert?
other than the artists ive already seen in concert: icon for hire, walk the moon, bastille, cage the elephant, and steam powered giraffe
79. What was the last concert you saw?
fall out boy! the mania tour! apparently cleveland was the start of the tour so i was in the first group of people to ever hear expensive mistakes!
80. Hot tea or cold tea?
iced
81. Tea or coffee?
tea
82. Favorite type of cookie?
uhhh the really good sugar cookies i learned to make off tumblr
83. Can you swim well?
id like to think so
84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
didnt know there were people who cant
85. Are you patient?
on a good day
86. DJ or band, at a wedding?
dj
87. Ever won a contest?
yeah
88. Ever have plastic surgery?
nope
89. Which are better black or green olives?
depends in what
90. Opinions on sex before marriage?
go for it
91. Best room for a fireplace?
living room
92. Do you want to get married
probably
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730.
1: How tall or short do you wish you were? I’m fine. 2: What’s your dream pet? I don’t really have one.
3: Do you have a favorite clothing style? This may sound lame, but I really enjoy a chic “smart casual” look. 4: What was your favorite video game growing up? Sims. Always has been, always will be. 5: What three things/people do you think of most each day: Kevin, my future and . . . I don’t know.
6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say? "May freak out unexpectedly.” 7: What is your Greek personality type (Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic)? I don’t know. 8: Are you ticklish? I am. 9: Are you allergic to anything? I am not. 10: What’s your sexuality? Heterosexual. 11: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa? Cocoa more than any of the other two. Tea before coffee. 12: Are you a cat or dog person? I’ll say cats. 13: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson? Merperson, if I had to choose? I don’t know. 14: Do you have a favorite Youtuber? I have plenty of. 15: How tall are you? 5′2″. 16: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to? I don’t know if I would. 17: How much do you weigh? Next question. 18: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits? I do. 19: Do you like space or the ocean more? They’re both fascinating. 20: Are you religious? No. 21: Pet peeves? I have misophonia, so. There you go. 22: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal (opposite of nocturnal)? Diurnal. My anxiety is at its worse at night. 23: Favorite constellation? Aries, only because it’s my star sign? 24: Favorite star? The sun? I don’t really have a favourite star though it would be interesting to have one other than the “sun” lol. 25: Do you like ball-jointed dolls? I don’t really care for them? 26: Any phobias or fears? The unknown. I also have Trypophobia, feeling out of control of my own body and death. 27: Do you think global warming is real? Yeah. 28: Do you believe in reincarnation? I don’t know if I do or if I don’t, though I have watched interesting documentaries on reincarnation. Story time: my dad once told me when he was younger, my Pop and Nan were in the car with my dad, and they were driving to a place they hadn’t been to before and they were lost. My dad said to my Pop (who was driving) to turn at the end of the street and there’d be a bridge. They did, and there was a bridge. My dad knew the place, but he had never been there before in his entire life, so. I don’t know. It’s kind of crazy. 29: Favorite movie? I never know. I have way too many. 30: Do you get scared easily? Yeah, definitely. 31: How many pets have you own in your lifetime? I have had plenty of “family” pets growing up, but myself and Kevin have had two. A dog and a cat. 32: What is a color that calms you? Blue. 33: Where would you like to travel and/or live? America (which I am in March) and the UK. I mean, I would happily travel just about anywhere and everywhere given the opportunity. 34: Where were you born? Australia. 35: What is your eye color? Green. 36: Introvert or extrovert? Introvert, one-hundred percent. 37: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs? No. 38: Hugs or kisses? Both. 39: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now? I am with him right now, so no one. 40: Who is someone you love deeply? Kevin. 41: Any piercings you want? I’m okay for now. 42: Do you like tattoos and piercings? Yes, I do. 43: Do you smoke or have you ever done so? I was, once upon a time, a smoker. 44: Talk about your crush, if you have one! More than a crush. He’s my boyfriend. 45: What is a sound you really hate? I am not great with very “loud” sounds. 46: A sound you really love? Rain! I was actually talking about this the other night with Kevin. 47: Can you do a backflip? Nope. 48: Can you do the splits? Nope. 49: Favorite actor and/or actress? I really fancy Drew Barrymore. I don’t know why. I think she’s pretty badass. 50: Favorite book? Too many to choose from. 51: How are you feeling right now? Anxious. 52: What color would you like your hair to be right now? I need to recolour it again (I had a blonde balayage, but it’s quickly fading) 53: When did you feel happiest? I don’t know. I haven’t felt too “happy” recently. 54: Something that calms you down? Rain. 55: Have any mental disorders? Clinical depression, Depersonalisation Disorder, PTSD (though, this has subsided a lot), Social Anxiety, GAD. These are all diagnosed. I also think I have BPD (undiagnosied). 56: What does your URL mean? My survey Tumblr is self-explanatory, my main Tumblr is solefulness. And I don’t know. It’s inspired by the word “soulful” 57: What three words describe you the most? Creative, anxious and . . . I asked Kevin for help and he said “beautiful”, but you know. Lol. 58: Do you believe in evolution? I guess I do, yes. 59: What makes you unfollow a blog? They haven’t updated in forever or they say some stupid offensive bullshit (e.g. racism, classism, homophobia, etc.). < What they said. 60: What makes you follow a blog? Aesthetics? Lol 61: Favorite kind of person: An INFJ lol or similar. Basically, someone who has an advanced bout of empathy, understanding. 62: Favorite animal(s): Pandas and cats. 63: Name three of your favorite blogs. No, I can’t be bothered and I don’t even know if I do have a favourite right now. 64: Favorite emoticon: The “hang loose” emoticon was the first that came to mind, though I can’t say it’s my fave. Maybe a leaf (I am so lame) 65: Favorite meme: I use a lot of Full House memes. 66: What is your MBTI personality type? INFJ. < me too! 67: What is your star sign? Aries. 68: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog? My dog’s dead and she never obeyed commands. She was way too hyper. < Literally my same answer. 69: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most? A cardigan as of late. 70: Post a selfie or two? I ain’t ready for a face reveal. 71: Do you have platform shoes? Nope. 72: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself? I would say I am an INFJ considering they take up only one percent of the population, but you already know that. Let me ask Kevin. He said: “you were the first to graduate in your family. I think. I don’t know. Is that a good one?”
There you have it, folks. 73: Can you do a front flip? No. 74: Do you like birds? No. I do not like birds. They freak me out. 75: Do you like to swim? I am not crazy about it. 76: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you? Swimming > ice skating any time. 77: Something you wish didn’t exist: Homophobia. 78: Some thing you wish did exist: Fifty large sacks of money right in front of me. > ngl. Me too. 79: Piercings you have? My ears. 80: Something you really enjoy doing: I like to watch a lot of YouTube and a lot of Netflix (or any film, really). 81: Favorite person to talk to: Kev. 82: What was your first impression of Tumblr? I don’t know. 83: How many followers do you have? Enough. 84: Can you run a mile within ten minutes? I asked Kevin and he laughed. So, I guess not. 85: Do your socks always match? I barely wear socks. 86: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely? I can do. 87: What are your birthstones? Aquamarine. 88: If you were an animal, which one would you be? I don’t know tbh. A panda or a cat. Maybe a cat. 89: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be? Good question. Um, a baby breath bc they’re small and simple. 90: A store you hate? I don’t know nor care. Maybe Gloria Jeans bc I once found out they don’t support gay marriage. 91: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day? None. I can’t drink it without freaking out. 92: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds? Both scare me. Can I choose to read minds? 93: Do you like to wear camo? Not my style. 94: Winter or summer? I do love winter, but lately I’ve needed summer. 95: How long can you hold your breath for? I don’t know. 96: Least favorite person? Any evil dictator. < True. 97: Someone you look up to: Kevin at the moment. 98: A store you love? Kmart if I had to choose. Any homeware shop too. 99: Favorite type of shoes My Nike runners are my fave right now. 100: Where do you live? Aus. 101: Are you a vegetarian or vegan? If so, why? No, just because I’m not. 102: What is your favorite mineral or gem? Never really thought about it. 103: Do you drink milk? I do sometimes. 104: Do you like bugs? I don’t hate them, but I don’t go out collecting them either. 105: Do you like spiders? I am not a great fan but again, I don’t collect them. 106: Something you get paranoid about? Every thing. 107: Can you draw?: No. Unfortunately not. 108: Nosiest question you have ever been asked? I don’t know. It’s funny because via a survey, I am open to any question. But if it’s someone face to face, or away from Tumblr, I freak out and think anything is a nosy question. 109: A question you hate being asked? "Why are you quiet?” Like, I don’t know? Maybe because I am. 110: Ever been bitten by a spider? No. 111: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach? My favourtie. 112: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days? Sunny. 113: Someone you’d like to kiss or cuddle right now: Kevin. 114: Favorite cloud type: A cumulonimbus cloud because they’re big and they look fluffy. 115: What color do you wish the sky was? Pink. You know, like when the sun sets? Or blue. Blue is calming to me. 116: Do you have freckles? I wish! 117: Favorite thing about a person: I think people in general are interesting so. 118: Fruits or vegetables? Fruits. 119: Something you want to do right now: Eat. 120: Is the ocean or sky prettier? The ocean. 121: Sweet or sour foods? Sweet. 122: Bright or dim lights? In between. 123: Do you believe in a certain magical creature? No. I don’t know. 124: Something you hate about Tumblr: I don’t really think about that to be honest. 125: Something you love about Tumblr: I find it relaxing. 126: What do you think about the least? I don’t know. 127: What would you want written on your tombstone? No idea. 128: Who would you like to punch in the face right now? No one. 129: What is something you love but also hate about yourself? Hm… Maybe how much I care about certain people/things. < Truth. 130: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures? Rarely. 131: Computer or TV? Computer. 132: Do you like roller coasters? They’re alright. 133: Do you get motion sickness or seasickness? Yeah, a bit. 134: Are your ears free or attached? I think they’re attached? What. 135: Do you believe in karma? Yes. 136: On a scale of 1-10, how attractive would you say you are? Mm, 3. 137: What nicknames do you have/have had? Many. 138: Did you have any pretend or imaginary friends? I did. 139: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink? Yeah. 140: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others? Good. 141: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help? Giving. 142: What makes you angry?: People can make me angry. 143: How many languages do you speak fluently? Just English. 144: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries? Boys. 145: Are you androgynous? No. I don’t think I am, anyway. 146: Favorite physical thing about yourself: I don’t know. I don’t really have a lot to like about myself. 147: Favorite thing about your personality: My willingness to understand, respect and empathise. 148: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person. No one in particular. My family, if anyone. 149: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose? I don’t know. The 50s or 60s, maybe. 150: Do you like BuzzFeed? Yeah, I do. 151: How did you meet your spouse/girlfriend/boyfriend/partner? Through friends, at a “gathering”. 152: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons? No. I don’t. 153: Do you like to play with others’ hair? Not really. 154: What embarrasses you? Because I empathise a lot, I get secondhand embarrassment a lot too. So, there you go. 155: Something that makes you nervous/anxious: Every fucking thing. 156: Biggest lie you have ever told: I can’t think of anything right now. 157: How many people are you following? Not many. 158: How many posts do you have on your blog(s)? This blog? 730 when I post this one. 159: How many drafts do you have on your blog(s)? None. 160: How many likes do you have on your blog(s)? I don’t know. 161: Last time you cried and why: A few days ago. I don’t want to go into it. 162: Do you have long or short hair? Long-ish. 163: Longest your hair has ever been: Up to my bottom. 164: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion? I don’t really have an opinion at all, I guess. Um. I don’t know. I just don’t care nor think about it. 165: Do you really care how the universe and world was created? I mean. It would be interesting to know, but... I don’t care. 166: Do you like to wear makeup? Yes, I do. 167: Can you stand on your hands or head for more than thirty seconds? No. 168: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully? Yes, sir.
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tagged by @loser-dot-com u were top suggested when i typed “@” do u feel special
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 10 people.
THE LAST:
1. Drink: Apple Juice???? 2. Phone call: WEll a cute guy asked to call me and im gonna go with that bc i havent called anyone in years 3. Text message: To Ari: “Also Mama is a song by MCR and I’m too emo to get over that”in reference to the EXO song Mama 4. Song you listened to: Currently listening to Wolf by EXO, Ive falen into the fandom 5. Time you cried: While I was kissing Hot Guy mentioned above cause we were both really emotional that night
HAVE YOU:
6. Dated someone twice: not technically 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: I mean idk, sometimes I regret ever kissing anybody but 8. Been cheated on: no thank goodness 9. Lost someone special: yeah 10. Been depressed: I’m depressed right now 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: not yet
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
12-14: purple, pink, and blue like the sunset
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
15. Made new friends: yeah 16. Fallen out of love: nope 17. Laughed until you cried: hell yeah 18. Found out someone was talking about you: my goodness yes 19. Met someone who changed you: U cant meet people here but yeah ive changed 20. Found out who your friends are: yeah 21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: I dont have facebook
GENERAL:
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: my facebook is nonexistent 23. Do you have any pets: A big ol’ bub named Bear, hes a Boxer Mastiff mix and i love hi more than myself, and a tiny bup Coco, 24. Do you want to change your name: Yea I dont really feel like Caitlyn or Renee really fit me but I also dont know what name does 25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I took bread to band as a treat bc bc I dislike cake 26. What time did you wake up: imma say 11:30am but really it was 1:45pm 27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sending memes back and forth with Hot Guy
28. Name something you can’t wait for: getting out of this horrible place going to all the tourist-y places in California in a few weeks
29. When was the last time you saw your mom: 3 hours ago when we ate dinner 30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: either having a bit more money or at least having a house of our own 31. What are you listening right now: Parallel by Heffron Drive, i need softer music if im gonna sleep b4 3am 32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: Tommy? He’s pretty cool and like 3 people I know like him
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: myself not knowing whats happening to me and being expected to just go with the flow 34. Most visited Website: Youtube
LOST QUESTIONS.
35. Mole/s: none 36. Mark/s: I have a little kinda feather shaped birthmark on my chest and a teeny tiny heart on my thigh 37. Childhood dream: to have a room of my own 38. Hair Color: kinda gold brown I’d say 39. Long or short hair: ive grown it out so it reaches my shoulders now so whatever you count that as 40. Do you have a crush on someone: Yeah and its kinda working out????? 41. What do you like about yourself: my eyes 42. Piercings: 2 holes in each ear soon to change hopefully 43. Bloodtype: no one tells me these things 44. Nickname: Ren 45. Relationship status: i dont really know what to call it at this point 46. Zodiac: Capricorn 47. Pronouns: she/her 48. Favorite TV Show: Shadowhunters hell yeah 49. Tattoos: I dont have any yet but i want a whole bunch 50. Right or left hand: right 51. Surgery: nope 52. Hair dyed in different color: i wish 53. Sport: what is sport??? 55. Vacation: Spain is so pretty, or Italy, Vegas, NY 56. Pair of trainers: listen ive had the same pair of Converse for 4 years they will get me thru everything
MORE GENERAL:
57. Eating Currently: nothing 58. Drinking currently: nothing 59. I’m about to: text someone about some Important Stuff or sleep 61. Waiting for: freedom from this prison 62. Want: some weed??? idk a whole bunch of things im kinda needy 63. Get married: not really I dont see a point in tying myself to someone 64. Career: my lame ass thinks i can make money being a makeup artist
WHICH IS BETTER
65. Hugs or kisses: hugs all the way 66. Lips or eyes: both are so attractive but eyes
67. Shorter or taller: taller
68. Older or younger: older
70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Abs are so hot sign me the fuck up
71. Sensitive or loud: Loud I guess???
72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship
73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker
HAVE YOU EVER:
74. Kissed a stranger: no
75. Drank hard liquor: no
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: i am the worst when it comes to not losing things, I havent seen my glasses in months
77. Turned someone down: Yeah
78. Sex in the first date: technically no
79. Broken someone’s heart: i think i mightve but i cant be sure
80. Had your heart broken: Let me tell u this bitch.
81. Been arrested: no
82. Cried when someone died: no, no one close to me has ever died, and i normally repress any negative feelings so
83. Fallen for a friend: yeah
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
84. Yourself: not at all
85. Miracles: Yeah
86. Love at first sight: seems like lame fairy tale shit
87. Santa Claus: yeah
88. Kiss in the first date: totally
89. Angels: yeah
OTHER:
90. Current best friends’ names: irl: Ari, Sarah, Morgan, Emily?????
91. Eyecolor: technically Hazel but really more of a green
92. Favorite movie: Im a sucker for Titanic
Oh yeah im supposed to tag ppl @lonelyspacelover @queennhowell @phichit-af
#mutuals <3#stfu renee!!#there are a lot of question marks#i dont know a thing#llike im a mess okay so#everything is whatever#if i dont know for sure ari knows#she knows me better than myself cause shes sane
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Wedding Bells [Part 1]
Words: 2270
Genre: Fluff, LOTS of it
Pairing: Jaehyun x Reader
Request: hellu~ do you mind doing a super super fluffy jaehyun one bcs he sure is ruining my sleep with his cute ass face omg thankuuuu in advance 😍
A/N: Wew! This is a part of my request done and I know there isn’t much here but it’s always good to provide some context before we start eh? Don’t worry anon! The next chapter (or perhaps subsequent ones) would contain what you are looking for. :) For now, please enjoy this first chapter everyone! I suffered some form of Writer’s Block but I was so glad that this idea popped up in my head eventually. :) Once again, thank you for requesting! Click HERE to read the rules for requesting and feel free to submit and drop an ask!! :)
[Part 1] | [Part 2]
——————————————————————
“Y/N! Just a gentle reminder that you are walking down the aisle tomorrow! You will never believe it but I am so happy for you!!” My best friend chirped, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me like a rag doll with a huge grin on her face.
Indeed, it was my wedding day tomorrow and I was nowhere near excited for it, especially when I had no idea who my groom would be. In fact, I never knew, no matter how much I tried to scan through the database of my parents’ phones and computers when they were not looking. There were no pictures, no e-mails and simply, no leak of information about the man whom I was going to marry.
For some strange reason, preferred to keep it as a secret and only told me that my soon-to-be husband was rich, “drop dead gorgeous” (quoted from my very own mother) and the “nicest man that I could possibly know”. Obviously, that was probably the information that nobody wanted to truly hear in the context of an arranged marriage. It was probably everything a parent would say to convince that they had made the best decision for their child; confident that everything would work out just fine.
Sure, it could possibly be true, but then again, how would it be possible for two people to get married to each other without even knowing the other party? It was absolutely bizarre to think about the many possibilities, especially when I was the only one among my group of friends who got betrothed without my knowledge by my parents. Everyone had the choice of choosing their boyfriends, and eventually husbands, but for me? Nah, that did not exist in my world. There was never a guy who was good enough, for reasons as lame as him not having enough valuable assets, tangible (which was definitely the main reason) or intangible.
Who would ever forget the day 2 years ago, when my parents had finally returned from a business trip in Germany. I was so excited to see them back at home, and I was already a 23-year-old, behaving as if I was a 6-year-old getting her very first birthday present. For most of the time, my parents were never at home, and even if they were, it was only for a day or two, before they flew off again to carry on with their busy, mundane lives. Truthfully, I never agreed with the way my parents lived their lives, especially when it came to spending time as a family and catching up with one another.
Call me selfish, but in my personal opinion, it was completely understandable for a child to simply desire spending time with their parents, especially when they have not seen them for ages, and yes, I mean years. As a teenager, I never really thought much about it and was way too busy to even think about any of the matters which took place at home. However, I was an adult now, and it was again natural for me to worry about my parents, especially when they seemed uncontactable and for some strange reason, the huge bungalow of ours felt empty. In fact, it was as if our employees had outnumbered our employers, and it made people wonder whether I was actually a part of the employers. For the longest time ever.
Unfortunately, that was also the day when they had announced that I was going to be betrothed. My eyes were threatening to pop out of its own sockets and my jaw hung heavily, especially when I saw my mother’s beaming smile. At that point, I was probably beyond furious and this was not a matter of the weather forecast or the traffic news; it was my future on the line and it was of no clue to me why they would be so happy in the thought of selling their daughter away to a supposed rich man in order to gain profits and more good points to add to our family name.
“Are you crazy?” I shouted when I reached my breaking point, “I waited for you to come back for years now. You were not there for my first day of university, and neither were you there for my graduation in both high school and university. I suspect you probably don’t even know that I graduated a co-valedictorian and this is the news I get? That I’m betrothed to a man I have no clue about? You showed no care, no concern and only came home to talk about your new business ventures and prospects. Why bother now then?”
I remembered heading to my room and slammed the door in a fit of anger, before leaning it and slid down to the carpeted floor. Tears were cascading down my cheeks now and I tasted the saltiness of it as they flowed. It was the worst thing I had ever said to my parents, and I did feel the pang of guilt, but I was in no mood to think about defying all the laws of Confucian filial piety now.
An hour or two had probably passed, and I did not move from my position at the door. I stared into space in a daze; trying to get over the fact that I was going to get married when I was not even close to ready. Trust me, I tried to convince myself that this was for the best, I really did, but I just could not see the light at the end of the tunnel at that point.
I thought to myself that I was a pawn for my parents’ riches and successful ventures; like an object and a gift to the other more powerful CEOs and companies out there. There was no consult, no allowance, and they did what they wanted; find me a good husband and flooding me with information of his entire life story. There was no mood for me to show any care or concern anymore, knowing that the decision was final and all I could do was to suck it up and move on with my life.
However, there was a knock. Then two. And I got up, thinking that it was the maid, but I only came face to face with my mother. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, proceeding to close the door again, but she only said in a calm voice, “Look Y/N, I think we need to talk. Would you care for some mother and daughter time?”
Only the Almighty knows what came over me, but I moved aside and opened the door wider to let her in, before closing it again. The tension was so thick that one could possibly cut it with a knife, and the same went with the silence that ensued once she stepped in. She looked around my room, as if trying to recall all the happy moments that she could have possibly shared with me in the room.
“Take a seat and I will tell you a story. Come, sit here with me.” She said, making herself comfortable and patted the bed, signalling that I should sit with her instead of awkwardly standing around in her presence. I did, and waited for her to kickstart a conversation; something that we’ve never had for the past years. It was probably safer to use the word “decade” instead at this rate.
It followed with a few moments of awkward silence, but my mum finally opened up in a gentle and comforting manner. She had admitted to saying that my father and her never knew each other either, and were betrothed to one another earlier than I was. She was only 15 when it was announced that she was to marry a man at the age of 21, having no clue to who he was at all. According to her, the reactions and outbursts were completely normal, because that was the exact things she felt when she grew up. She grew cold and distant, refusing to open up to her parents when she felt as betrayed as ever.
Hearing that, it was like a similar situation all over again, and I was beyond surprised to hear that. You see, my mother was known for being gentle, calm and demure, and it was beyond my imagination to even think of her as someone who would actually go against her parents’ wishes. She could sense it, and only laughed at my reaction.
Later, it followed with the fact that she had only known my father on the day of their wedding, but also claimed that he did not force himself onto her. He was willing to wait for her to be ready, and besides, he felt the exact same way too; that they should get to know each other a lot better before they are officially known as husband and wife. And that was simply how my mother fell in love with him because he respected her, cared for her and accepted her, even if she just came from a relatively average family in our world.
Hence, it was with that when she encouraged me that everything was going to be alright. She also assured me later that unless the man was not willing to treat me the same way my father had treated her, she promised that she would not hesitate from calling it quits. Nevertheless, she encouraged me to give it a shot and gave my shoulder an encouraging squeeze with her signature smile.
So now I sat here, donned in a white wedding dress that my husband had apparently picked out for me. It was unlike no other, and was apparently custom made in Italy. Yes, it looked simple, but the embroidery was refined and very very well sewn together. It was intricate, and was donned with little Swarovski crystals sewed to the dress. Furthermore, it had a long train of fabric at the back to give it a grand effect, and of course, the look was not complete without a Grade A diamond necklace that my father had given, as well as a pair of silver stilettos from my in-laws to complement the dress.
No matter how anxious and unprepared I was, I could not help but admit that my in-laws had good taste. On the other hand, I relied on my best friend who was makeup artiste to do my hair and face, and I have no idea how she did it, but I looked absolutely stunning that I actually gave her a hug, only to be pushed away saying, “Don’t ruin my handiwork. I french-braided your hair and simply enhanced your looks so please do not do anything crazy that would ruin it before the actual event.”
I rolled my eyes and gave her a playful nudge, before she took the veil that I was going to put onto my hair. It was an ordinary veil, but again, it had the most intricate of embroidery and it was put on a flower crown. At this point, I probably looked like a Disney Princess in every disney movie wedding scene, but I could not thank my friend enough and I was willing to pay her for her services, support and everything that she had ever done for me.
She shook her head though, and only said in her usual sassy fashion, “I think you would need money for the baby that’s coming. But come on, you got this yeah?”
“Do you know the guy?” I asked quizzically, and she only gave me a huge smile. She grinned from ear to ear and her eyes became the shape of two crescent moons on her face.
“Of course I do. I have connections, so I found out pretty easily.” She shrugged before continuing, “I know, you are going to ask me who it is, but you can be sure as hell that I would not tell you anything.”
I sighed and rolled my eyes again for the nth time in the years of our friendship, and I began to give her the best pair of puppy eyes that I could muster. However, she was firm, fierce and was adamant in not telling me anything about the guy. She obviously knew way more than I did, and by the looks of it, I was going nowhere with my pleading and convincing.
“Why are you even worried anyway? I can safely say that he is a great guy.” She said as she added the final touches to my look and made sure that everything was in its place.
“How are you so sure?” I asked, watching her furrow her brows and stick out her tongue, fixing all the nitty gritty details that she could spot with her naked eye.
“That’s simple. But you owe me something because this is a huge hint that I’m divulging.”
“Fine, just tell me already!!” I said, impatience evident in my tone of voice.
“It’s someone you know, and trust me, you’ve seen him before. He’s literally an angel and is claimed by you to be your ‘soulmate’.”
At this point, my mind froze and it seemed to be trying its best to look through my memory bank. I scratched my head in confusion and squinted, only to be smacked in the hand by her, with a nagging that I had ruined my own hair again.
It was at this point when there was only one possible name which could possibly surface. Crazy, it sounded, but it was a possibility.
And his name was Jaehyun.
#nct#nctu#nctdream#nct127#nct jaehyun#nct scenario#nct scenarios#jaehyun scenario#nct imagine#nct imagines#kpop scenario#kpop scenarios#nct fluff#jaehyun fluff#kpop fluff#romance#fluff#askbox open#requests open#arranged marriage#au#inspired#requested#jung yoonoh#chaptered#fanfiction#jaehyun#part1#weddingbells
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prime numbers for the valentine's ask ;)
2.Have you ever been deeply in love?
Yea,, with you, dork.
3. Longest relationship you’ve ever been in?
current relationship! its been over a year
5. How is your relationship with your ex?
i have 3 ex’s
ex #1: idrc, like… i hope she’s well? we never talk i dont know where she went i have no emotional attachment to her at all
ex #2: i hope she’s doing okay! i wish we talked more but she lives across town and just is part of a different kind of crowd than i am
ex #3: i hope she fucking realizes how bad she hurt me lmao i hate her so much
7. Have you ever cheated?
no, and i never will
11. When you are dating someone do you believe in going on “breaks”?
uh… i mean, no, not really? i’ve dated the same girl twice but it wasnt really a “break,” like. we were broken up for like a year. i dunno like i think its ok to try and rekindle something but i also think if someone wanted a “break” it’d just be kinda saying “i dont want this relationship but i also dont want you to move on from me so i can have you back with no competition” and thats lame
13. What’s one thing you regret saying/doing in a previous relationship?
in my second relationship, i regret not dealing with the breakup in a better way, i think i hurt her more than i realized and that was a mistake. i wish that i had trusted in her and myself more to be able to handle things and maybe it might’ve worked out longer. that used to bug me more but i’ve moved on now but back then i probably could have done things better
i also regret being too much of a pushover with my 3rd girlfriend and letting her ruin me lmao
17. Do you believe it’s possible to fall in love on the internet?
definitely!
19. How do you know it’s time to end a relationship?
if it hurts more than it makes you happy, for sure end it. if you spend more time worrying about what you’re doing wrong, have a talk and/or end it. if they lie to you or control what you do, end it. if they refuse to take responsibility or make any decisions, end it. if you make all the sacrifices with no effort from the other person, end it.
23. How many relationships have you had?
good question. people i’ve dated? 4. Time chunks spent not being single?? ummm….
1 with girlfriend numero uno, 2 and like a few random reunions with some emotionally stunted kissing with girlfriend 2, and then what started as a polyamorous relationship but im now only with one of those people bc the other was terrible
so like. 4.5?????
29. What do you notice first about another person?
i think mostly if talking to them is easy. if i feel like im forcing myself to think of things to say it’s not really enjoyable for me.
31. Would it bother you if your partner suffered from any mental illness?
not at all. i mean… i do get distressed when i can’t help, even though i know that isn’t My Job i still get stressed when i dont know how to help, but thats a personal problem and any sort of mental illness wouldnt make me love a person any less.
37. What’s more important: Looks or personality?
i’d be lying if i said looks didnt matter at all, but ultimately personality is most important. i mean, i was crushing on my current partner before i ever saw pictures of them, and then seeing them only made me crush harder.
41. What’s your imagination of a “perfect date”?
hmmmmm… that’s hard. honestly i cant think of anything super fancy that would be better than just curling up in bed and cuddling all day
53. Are you jealous of couples when you’re single?
im fuckin jealous of couples NOW bc im in a long distance relationship. im ALWAYS bitter about people being all Couple-y in front of me
59. Have you ever forgotten important dates like your partner’s birthday or your anniversary?
i am so fuckin terrible with dates but i dont remember significantly forgetting anything recently
61. Who’s more important: Your partner or your family?
hmm this is a hard one, you know? like… if i think about the Future, I know i probably am going to prioritize my partner over my parents, y’know? but i do adore my family a lot like my sibling is my best friend so its not like there’s a competition of LOVE. just. different kinds of love. i do hope my life goes down a path where i’m with my partner, rather than living with my mom for longer than i have to
VALENTINE’S DAY | ASK SPECIAL
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Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
"Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
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Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
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Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
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http://news.yahoo.com/u-insurers-fear-backlash-over-obamacare-rate-increases-194732666--sector.html
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Insurance quotes?????????
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Mom's insurance company made a whopping raise in her premium claiming they have been under charging her for 58 years! She wants to switch to AARP for homeowners and auto insurance. Are they a good company to deal with?
Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
Car insurance for a beginner driver?
how much do you guys reckon it will cost a total new driver (17, male) to insuare either: mark 2 golf mark 2 golf gti any VW corrado thanks""
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What if someone who was a driving a commercially insured vehicle (company car) hit me yet the person who was driving the car was not an employee and thus not covered by the insurance? Will the person still be held liable and will the insurance pay for my damages? Sources are appreciated. Thank you in advance
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So long story short -- I totaled my car in an accident which was my fault back in December, and unfortunately did not have collision coverage on my insurance policy. I am a full-time student and have been unable to afford purchasing another car since then, and do not know when I will be able to afford another car. Although I am now without a vehicle I have been reluctant to cancel my insurance policy because I was told that if I did, whenever I purchased another car and had to buy insurance again the price of it would skyrocket because I would be considered high risk for having a chronological gap in my coverage. So basically I am currently paying $80 a month for car insurance when I do not even have a car, just to avoid having it go up even more at some point in the unknown future after I buy another car. Is this worth it or would it be wiser to just go ahead and cancel my policy? I would like to get some other people's counsel on this who know more about car insurance and who are more financially competent than I am. Thanks so much.""
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Im Turning 15 1/2 Soon, And Im Ready To Take Drivers Ed And Drivers Training.. And I Need I To Find Insurance, That IS CHEAP, I Cant Spend That Much Per Month On Insurance. My Parents Car Insurance Which Is AAA.. Only Insures Drivers Over The Age Of 21 Or Something Like That. I Just Need To Know What Insurance Is Cheapest For Me?.. And Is There Insurance What Insures Me For Whatever Car I Drive? Do I Need To Get Insurance On Every Car I Drive.""
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Nothing is being said about the millions of employers that do not subscribe to some kind of health care insurance for their employees, even if part of it has to come out of the employees wages. I worked for a physician and the answer was that most women have husbands that have health care at their jobs. Shouldn't this be illegal?""
I need help with Car Insurance... Please!?
I am a 17 year old male in the UK and have just passed my test on september 2012. I cannot get insured anywhere because they are all charging me at least 500 pound a month to be insured on my mams car (Corsa SXI 2002), i cannot afford this... obviously. I have tried almost every car insurance site and i cannot seem to find any cheaper than 500 pound a month! It is very frustrating because i am a very sensible driver. I need some help!!! Is there any cheap cars that i can buy that will make the insurance cheaper? Can you recommend any cheap or used cars that have cheap insurance for young drivers? Can you recommend any good insurance sites for young drivers? Please any help will do!!! Thank you""
Which insurance to go with?
I am trying to buy a new auto insurance and renters insurance plan. I am 23 years old, married and I have never caused any accidents (or received any tickets). I am looking for an affordable quality insurance company that isn't going to keep messing with me like Progressive and their lame sub contracted renters insurance agency. I have never had any property claims either. A reliable, affordable company...""
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Assuming the cost is 18,000, most of it being for injuries the other party claims to have (<1000 bucks in damage). How much would insurance pay and how much would i have to pay? No damage to my own car. No need for insurance after this because I dont think im going to drive again after hearing the cost.""
Insurance for new driver.?
does anyone know how much the insurance would be for a clio or a 106 for a new driver?
Can I own a car and not have insurance? ?
I just got a car and still paying on the loan for it. I just got a job offer in another country that I plan to take (I will be there about a year or two). I don't want to sell my car and be left paying the rest of the loan balance. I wanted to know if in the state of Virginia if I can cancel my insurance and park my car in the garage until I get back a year or two from now. It will not be driven. My sis says that if it is still registered in my name I will have to have insurance whether I drive it or not. Im not sure so could anyone please clarify? Thanks!
What makes car insurance car insurance?
I always wondered. Not to brag or anything, but my family is so rich that we really don't need car insurance. If something were to happen we would be able to take care of it. So basically we waste hundreds of dollars each year on car insurance. Is there a way we could have our own insurance card to issue to a police? What makes car insurance companies able to function and not me?""
Can my insurance tell what the ticket was for?
So, I live in CA and i have AAA insurance. My daughter got a speeding ticket and i know it will raise my insurance. and i know they can tell that thre is a ticket on certain person's name but can they tell what the ticket was for???""
Driving Friends' cars with no insurance?
I have no insurance, but if it is true that insurance covers the car, not the driver, would I be safe driving my friends' cars with their permission, despite the fact that I *personally* have no insurance? Is it also true that if I wreck their car, would their insurance company go after me personally, and sue me, when they would normally go after my own insurance if I had it?""
How do you pay for auto insurance?
teen trying to understand how insurance works
How much would it be to insure a 17 year old on a Ford Fiesta Zetec 1.25L?
I have always liked the Ford Fiesta's and i turn 17 in october, its unlikely i will be driving till next year! i was just wondering an insurance estimate on, say, an 06 plate? 3Doors Hatchback 1.25L I know it will be fairly expensive! If a company were to insure me. Would just like an average quote please! don't want answers with 'depends on this, this or this'.. Thanks very much!""
""I'm 18, want a Toyota Supra in a few years. Need help!?""
I'm 18 and love cars, especially Jap cars. Before anyone starts, I'm not one of those boy-racer types, I'm genuinely interested in that car. I know you can get a 2nd-hand Supra for less than 5000, but can anyone advise on insurance and how/where to buy a Supra, by age 23/24? I plan on respraying the Supra a bright orange, and getting a bodykit for it - making it look really nice.""
Will my auto insurance rates go up if I broke someone else's left mirror?
Nothing big, my car hit and cracked only the mirror on someone else's left mirror car. But the thing is I don't have full insurance coverage, only the basic.""
If I do not have car insurance...?
and i live with with my grandparents and they have car insurance but i dont, and i have my liscence, can i still drive their car with it not being illegal in the state of Massachusetts? Because i cant afford the insurance and if their car is insured i am told an officer cannot do anything about it, as long as the cars insured im fine, is this true? Thanks!""
What are some car insurance companys?
would love to know ones that are cheap???
How much should my car insurance be? read details?
I am 17. I want to buy a mitsubishi eclipse gt. Its probably going to be a 2000, if not then 2001-2003. GT model. I went to drivers ed and we have allstate for insurance. how much wuld the insurance be?""
Help with car insurance?
I am 16 and my dad wants me to pay for my own and i want to i just want to know the cheapest car insurance so will you please post a url that i can go to?
Found a nice place for those who need free auto quotes?
Hey there just wanted to let everyone know i found this great site for free auto insurance quotes, its saved me $32 off of my montly policy. Read some of the auto insurance articles to help you save more. Http://www.free-auto-quote.com""
Car insurance claim against me?
Hi, I have received a letter from my insurance company stating that i have had an insurance claim against me, and i asked them for more detail, the time and date. They gave me the place and date, and i was there at the time of the incident, but i did not hit the car that they stated. I was parked (front of car) against a metal barrier, spaces either side of me, but someone went and parked behind me. i got my friend out the car to guide me back as i did (sort of a 3 point turn) to get out sideways. I did not hit the car. Someone was approx 50-75 feet away and they must have taken the reg plate. There was noone else around at the time, otherwise i would have asked them to move their car. Please help!!!!!!!""
About how much will it cost to insure a 2012 Ferrari California or 2012 Aston Martin DBS Coupe?
I recently found out that I am going to be inheriting close to $36,000,000 (after all of the government fees and estate lawyers fees and everything else). I have always wanted a Ferrari or Aston Martin. Please don't say if you have to ask you can't afford it...as stated I am inheriting a lot of money and can easily afford it. I just want to know how much the insurance will cost me for planning purposes. I am a male and will be 20 when I get the money (and then the car)...it is going to apparently take between 9 and 10 months to get everything done for me to have my money. I have a good driving record (been driving for 2 years) and am a student and live in California (Orange County normally but for school I will be in Provo, Utah...studying to be an Accountant :] ). So knowing all of that, approximately how much will it cost me to insure a 2012 Ferrari California or 2012 Aston Martin DBS Coupe?""
Aviva 15 weeks free car insurance?
does 15 weeks free car insurance mean i pay nothing for 15 weeks,.. or just pay the deposit then free 15 weeks,.. also what does total charge for credit mean and when does it get paid? thanks""
Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
Aurora Colorado Cheap car insurance quotes zip 80042
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-quote-18-year-old-male-adam-douglas/"
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1-100!
1) What images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpapers?
i just like aesthetic things so like my laptop’s background is crumpled up paper and my phone’s backgrounds are a picture of glitter and a picture of one of the golden ratio dogs lol
2) Have you ever had a crush on a teacher?
hmmmmm i feel like i have but i can’t actually remember any particular instance
3) What was your last text message?
i won’t type it all out because it’s really long but the gist of it is my friend who just turned 21 and i were talking about how we need to hang out more lol
4) What do you see yourself doing in 10 years?
so i’ll be almost 32 at that point, so i don’t know except i’m for sure going to be a proud dog mom and will hopefully be moving on up with my career
5) If you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?
probably by the ocean. it’s a really nice day here but no bodies of water in sight
6) What was your coolest Halloween costume?
i was a genie one year when i was little and my mom made the costume, i rewore a lot of costumes because money so there isn’t a whole lot of excitement there
7) What was your favorite 90s show?
I’m gonna say Boy Meets World
8) Who was your last kiss?
lol, the gay guy I met last night who asked me to be his first hetero kiss
9) Have you ever been stood up?
not like for a date or anything, but sometimes plans end up not working out with my friends
10) Favorite ice cream flavor?
marshmallow :3
11) Have you been to Las Vegas?
no!
12) Your favorite pair of shoes?
i have these black and blue glitter platform sandals that i like a lot
13) Honestly, have you ever cheated on your significant other?
i have not
14) What is your favorite fruit?
banana, but only freckly ones
15) Have you talked to anyone on tumblr that you could see yourself dating/having sex with? If possible?
no i don’t talk to people :/
16) Are you into hookups? Short or long term relationships?
i guess ideally i’d like long term but i’m kind of at a “take what you can get” stage
17) Do you smoke? If so, what?
nothing
18) What do you do to get over your anger?
normally vent on social media and delete it after a little while.
19) Do you believe in God?
ye
20) Does the person you’re in love with know it?
well i’m not in love soooo
21) Favorite position?
cowgirl lol
22) What’s your horoscope sign?
gemini
23) Your fears?
i don’t really have tangible fears.i guess i’m afraid of information getting into the wrong hands like there is just stuff i don’t want some people to know. and i’m afraid of failing i think.
24) How many pets do you have? What kind?
i have 2 cats, but I would also say the pets at my parents are mine so 2 dogs and 2 more cats too
25) What never fails to turn you on?
neck kisses???
26) Your idea of a perfect first date?
the person i’m with is capable of carrying a conversation, but i feel comfortable enough that i don’t actually need to worry about what to say. we go do something fun that they have prior knowledge of so i don’t have to be the one like planning stuff. idk, i don’t have one single thing that i would want to do on a first date, i’m more concerned with the social aspect lol
27) What is something most people don’t know about you?
i probably wouldn’t call myself straight anymore i guess?
28) What makes you feel the happiest?
when it’s stormy in the summer and i don’t have any responsibilities at night and i can just do anything i want. preferably also a dog is there
29) What store do you shop at most often?
dillon’s lmao that’s where i get groceriessssss
30) How do you feel about oral? Giving and/or receiving?
i really like giving, receiving would be nice but i have like such low expectations :/
31) Do you believe in karma?
mmmmno i don’t think so
32) Are you single?
yep
33) Do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize?
better way to apologize than what? i do think gifts can add to a verbal, authenticate apology but i think one of my main love languages is gifts
34) Are you a good swimmer?
i’m decent, i did swim team as a child/ pre-teen so i have some of those skills still
35) Coffee or Tea?
coffee
36) Online shopping or shopping in person?
online shopping bc i hate people, but also it’s really hard to know if a clothing item will fit when you buy it online
37) Would you rather be older or younger than your current age?
my dude i’m fine where i am
38) Cats or Dogs?
D: i’m going to say dogs bc i love dogs but i love cats too
39) Are you a competitive person?
situationally. a lot of the time i don’t care enough
40) Do you believe in aliens?
yeah
41) Do you like dancing?
no, i might if i was good at it but sadly i’m white
42) What kind of music to you listen to?
lots of kinds, i like folk rock a lot
43) What is your favorite cartoon character?
ummmmmmmm i might say ice bear from we bare bears
44) Where are you from?
kansas
45) Eat at home or eat out?
i love to eat out. or more accurately, i love to use the drive thru and then bring the food home
46) How much more social are you when you’re drunk?
oh my gosh so much more social. which i learned last night . but lowkey right now at least i feel like actually more comfortable being social after last night because like i know i have the capacity to do it? which would be cool, bc one of the reasons i was feeling worried about drinking was bc like what if i start believing i need alcohol to function socially and like whoops i have slipped into being an alcoholic bc like that’s somewhat in my family. but i think that that isn’t the case
47) What was the last thing you bought for yourself?
i mean i bought a soda earlier but i’ll say it was a case for my mac so i can stop carrying it naked
48) Why do you think your followers follow you?
well a lot of them are porn bots, and a lot of them are people who don’t use tumblr anymore. the rest i would say are here because i post a lot of different things and i have good taste ;)
49) How many hours do you sleep at night?
lately it’s been real bad maybe 6 hours or less ?? but that’s because i’m kind of a mess, i usually aim for 8 hours
50) What worries you most about the future?
i’m worried for like the future of the country, the world etc but not really worried for my own future
51) If you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?
actually probably a while, i have been a lot more positive about myself lately i think. and i keep doing these dumb inside jokes with myself so i feel like that would be fun (ex. lately i have been thinking about something and i’ll be like “oh yeah, that’s what we in the business call *the common name of whatever i’m thinking of*” and it’s like dumb but i’m amused by it so like me and myself are getting along swell)
52) Are you happy with yourself?
yeah i am!
53) What do you wish you didn’t know?
probably stuff about my ex, like i sometimes will look at his page and find stuff out and regret it
54) What big lesson could people learn from your life?
a lot of good stuff is just luck
55) If you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?
probably like one of the fancy homes in gossip girl or something
56) What’s your favorite Website?
it’s probably tumblr, even after all this time
57) What’s the habit you’re proudest of breaking?
i don’t really have a lot of bad habits, maybe like picking at stuff or something
58) What was your most recent trip of more than 50 miles?
going home for easter but that’s lame so i’ll say going to Atlanta for the ncaa tournament
59) What’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?
probably just some of the nicer sweaters i’ve found
60) What do you order when you eat Chinese food?
depends where i go but i really like getting sesame chicken, white rice, and crab rangoon at my go-to place
61) If you had to be named after one of the 50 states, which would it be?
Montana
62) If you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?
hmmmmmm i could probably teach like editing in a writing class or like basic coding
63) Favorite kind of chips?
probably like baked lays. they taste so good and they’re healthier???
64) Favorite kind of sandwich?
i really like the chicken bacon ranch from subway
65) Which do you use more often, the dictionary or the thesaurus?
dictionary
66) Have you ever been stung by a bee?
no i have not
67) What’s your favorite form of exercise?
lately it’s weight lifting, like exclusively
68) Are you afraid of heights?
nah
69) What’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?
maybe my politics of women of color class
70) What’s your favorite breakfast?
toaster strudels? i don’t really eat breakfast anymore
71) Do you like guacamole?
nah
72) Have you ever been in a physical fight?
lol no
73) What/who are you thinking about right now?
i’m hungry
74) Do you like cuddling?
yes, tho my back is super sensitive so there are Factors there
75) Are you holding onto something you need to let go of?
probably yeah
76) Have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?
no
77) Favorite city you’ve been to?
probably San Francisco, though i was only there for a day
78) Would you break the law to save a family member?
Depends on the law probably
79) Talk about an embarrassing moment?
my life . lol. um the thing is i’m bad at telling stories and bad at remembering things (specifically negative things, i block that shit right out) so i don’t know
80) Are there any causes you strongly believe in?
yeah like basically all causes surrounding how people are treated
81) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
i think when i was little i conked my head and got stitches maybe? part of being risk averse is that you don’t really get hurt, plus i’m like not clumsy
82) Favorite day of the week?
i like fridays i think
83) Do you consider yourself sexually open minded?
not particularly, but i’ll try some stuff
84) How do you feel about porn?
like ethically i know it’s wrong
85) Which living celebrity would you like to know?
harry styles asd;fjas;dkfsdf
86) Who was your hottest ex?
lol uh of the whole two of them? neither
87) Do you want/have kids?
nooooooo
88) Has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?
yes
89) Do you get easily distracted?
yeah sometimes
90) Ass or titties?
ass i guess, i like a booty but i’m not really the demographic for this question i think
91) What is your favorite word?
humdinger (i don’t know if this is my favorite word but that’s the word that came to mind)
92) How do you feel about tattoos?
i want one and am going to get it when i reach my goal weight (and i even have an obtainable goal, an eating plan, a work out routine, AND a scale) but like idk i feel like some people get dumbass tattoos
93) Do you have any pets?
............didn’t this questions happen earlier.. yes. 2 cats.
94) How tall are you?
5′10″
95) How old are you?
21, just about 2 months until i’m feeling 22
96) 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?
my hair, my eyes, my nails (i guess)
97) Is there anything you’re really passionate about?
i get passionate like politically but i think in general i’m not v passionate
98) Do you have trust issues?
i probably trust too much idk
99) Do you believe in love at first sight?
naw
100) What are some words that you live by? Why?
there’s no harm in applying for things. like the worst thing that will happen is you won’t get it, and also you won’t get it if you don’t apply.
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december 28, 2017
I turned 24 this year. I think this blog is now 5 years old, because I still remember writing a bio along the lines of "the girl who writes this blog is 19 years old". When I was 19, I couldn't picture myself at 21. I couldn't picture myself at 22 or 23 and now I'm 24. I never saw a future for myself back then, and it excites me that this year, I had mapped out a 5 year plan. Albeit, this plan is literally just "get a cat."
24 isn't a big or important number for me. If anything, I'm looking forward to 30. But it just feels like a nice, round number. I want to feel as if I'm stepping into myself more and more as I go through my twenties.
A lot has happened this year. When December first rolled around, I was worried that my year wasn't good enough. I'll circle back to personal growth, but in terms of 'events', I think a lot of things happened.
Places traveled: Boston, Barcelona, Bogota, Amsterdam, Brussels, Geneva, Vancouver Island, Tobermory.
I met two book blogger friends who were absolutely delightful and I loved chatting with them. I think it's because they have access to my Twitter and in a weird way, Twitter is where I can be more... authentic. Facebook really is for just keeping in touch with friends, Instagram is a curated photo album, this Tumblr is usually more private and personal thoughts, but Twitter is where I write things that I find funny (I get it, I'm self-absorbed) and generally scream about media, books, feminism, current events, and complain about IRL people who don't know about my feed. And my book blogger friends have full access to this extra-authentic self, which is why I think I felt immediately comfortable when I met them. And they're just funny and so great to talk to.
I watched good movies and read good books and listened to many good podcasts. I read a lot of news, and I felt a lot of feelings. This is the year that I felt more. The year that I got choked up more times than I can count while scrolling my way through the internet. More often than not, something Hillary-related can quickly conjure up something in the back of my throat. I still can't watch the Kate McKinnon SNL post-election piano performance without almost tearing up. I cried from happiness for my friends when I heard they were engaged. I cried from relief when (and this feels like ages ago) the muslim travel ban was overturned. I cried when I read books and articles. I cried to movies. I cried to videos.
When I was younger, I tried so hard never to cry, to not react, to not feel. And I think one of the biggest changes these past few years has been giving myself permission to feel. To dig deeper into my emotions rather than trying to stamp them down and move past them. I love feeling. I love it when something makes me want to cry. It reminds me that I'm alive.
The biggest change, of course, was that I left a job and started a new one and moved across the country. I negotiated my salary. I still sometimes can't believe everything unfolded the way it did.
I am NOT equating my experience AT ALL to any of the absolutely horrific harassment allegations that unfolded in recent months, but in a way, I felt like I could have a deeper understanding of how women's careers can be affected by powerful figures. When shit was going with my boss, when he was pissed off and saying things like "I can sue you but I won't", it made me want to get away from him just so this becomes a bridge that I won't even be near. I had two job offers, one in BC, one in Toronto, and I won't lie when I say that the fact that BC would be far away from my boss wasn't a factor in my decision making. I wanted to get out of the entire industry, and I understand that what transpired WAS NOT EVEN THAT BAD. I'm very conflict-adverse, but when an even that is kind of minor (I can't even tell if I'm gaslighting myself these days) makes me want to leave the industry I've worked in for 2 years, I can't even imagine how a more serious transgression can affect a young person just starting out in her career. It makes me angry and sad. Boy, does that sum up 2017.
Anyways, so I'm back in BC. And I'm getting more and more settled in and making friends (bless my amazing roommates, I am so grateful they are awesome) and as I become more comfortable, I'm also a bit nervous because I do want to eventually return to Toronto. In my head, the timeline is sometime in late 2018 or 2019. But I know as I start to build my life here, it'll only make it harder to leave.
Oh, and I had such a lovely Christmas. I got really nice gifts from my mum, and she was telling me about how happy she is, and my heart just swelled. I'm not a great daughter. I know I can be better, and I know how I can be better, but I don't do it. But, it still makes me happy that my mum feels so happy this holiday season.
And now, back to personal growth. I kind of wish I experienced more personal growth this year. Or maybe, it was just that last year was so drastic in terms of what was changing that this year has mellowed out. I mean, things like dating felt too easy and familiar and not risky. I didn’t take on any drastic 30 day challenges, nor did I unearth particularly prickly revelations about myself. I didn’t really strive toward self improvement in a conscious way that I feel like I had in 2016, and especially for the last few months (after moving), I allowed myself to be much more of a passive consumer. Under the guise of “getting settled into a new job”, I wasn’t really chasing knowledge. I was watching pointless hours of Youtube when I got off work (at a stunning 4pm, like omg), which is legitimately a waste of time and I really don’t like that about myself. It just feels like I’ve given myself a pass to be lazy with this job change, when I wish I could be more invigorated and actually do more things with all my free time. Anyways, being more productive will definitely be a goal next year.
I know this is like an extensive preamble, but anyways, I did want to write a bit about my 2017 New Year's Resolutions. I don't stress myself out about meeting all of them, but if I can hit around 50% I'm happy. Let’s go:
FINANCIAL:
1. Hit a savings goal for money.
2. 4 times a month, don’t spend money.
I would say I only missed 2 or 3 months for this goal.
3. Organize my receipts system.
Solution: take a picture of all my receipts and email them to a dedicated email account.
4. Get rid of ‘invoice guilt’.
It helps if I’m annoyed so I can channel a “give me my money” feeling…
5. Budget at the beginning of the month.
I didn’t really budget my next month, but I paid all my bills… does that count?
6. Make 5K from side hustles.
Yay, did this.. mix of extra work and gifts. Yes, I count gifts as a side hustle. Hush.
RELATIONSHIPS
7. Continue to call/talk to my mum at least once a week.
I can now see my mum once a week (if I wanted to… I think she secretly hopes I don’t make any friends so I can continue visiting her on my weekends…)
8. Continue dating people and figuring out what I want/need within a relationship context.
Kind of, I think. I have an idea. But I dunno…
9. Don’t be so wary of commitment.
Hmmm. This is weird. In a way, I feel like I’m more ready to commit, but none of the people I dated this year were people I wanted to commit to. I’m gonna cross this off anyways though, since it’s a mindset, right?!
10. Make 3 new friends.
I did this! I have 3 new roommates! They are all my friends! Plus I made even more friends than that. Big smiles, all around.
11. Be more open with current close friends.
I think I’ve done this. In any sense, I’m much more honest and happy to talk about anything and everything.
12. Look people in the eye during conversations.
I made a conscious effort to do this. I should carry over this goal to next year too.
13. Become a better storyteller in conversations.
There is still so much room for improvement, but I think this is something that I’ve gotten better at. And I know this sounds so so lame, but I’ll sometimes think ahead of time of how to structure something I want to share, so it makes more sense to the listener and is more entertaining to listen to.
14. Compliment people more.
I kind of want to cross this off, but I don’t think I *seriously* achieved this.
PERSONAL (TANGIBLE)
15. Read 35 books (of which 30% will be non-fiction, 1 will be a finance book, and over 50% should be adult).
I think I only read 20. Sigh. Same goal next year.
16. “Fucking Exercise”
Oh…lol… next year.
17. Find something to work toward, whether this is a hobby or a new job or something else. Try and be motivated.
I have a new job? Does that count? I don’t know if I’m more motivated though. Hmm.
18. Buy a plant. Keep it alive.
I did! I bought 3 succulents. I threw them away when I moved because I realized that I am Bad. At. Plants. In all honestly, it just freaks me out that they grow so quickly.
19. Publish or write 3 freelance articles.
20. Read the news (NYT, Atlantic, WaPo). Read widely, critically, and thoroughly. Stay informed and engaged in what’s going on in the world (which includes Canada!).
Yes. Kind of. This last month was tough though, as the GOP Tax Scam was going through, it just became so hard to not completely disengage. Hell, I’m not even American. I really considered (still consider?) just stop caring. I know I shouldn’t though. (Oh, and I still don’t know what’s going on in Canada.)
21. Take more photos (even phone photos count. Also, get a new phone).
Same goal next year.
22. Watch all the Oscar Best Picture nominees.
Unfortunately not.
23. Go to the doctor!!
I got a Pap test and it was fine. Ladies, go do this.
24. Travel goals for 2017: San Francisco, Eastern Canada, and the far-fetched one: South America. I’d like to take at least 2 weeks off (straight) to travel.
I went to Europe and South America for work!! And Boston! I have 20 vacation days next year and I plan to make them count.
PERSONAL (INTANGIBLE)
25. Don’t compare yourself to others.
Yes. I’m glad.
26. Strive to be better, not better than others.
I think so. As said in my preamble, I don’t think I reached this to the degree that I wanted in terms of self-improvement, but I do think I tried to be better.
27. Try harder to be Warm.
I think so. Again, not as much as I wanted to, but I am deliberately and intentionally more generous and loving with my friends.
28. Be more assertive.
I negotiated my salary. I ran business meetings, managed coworkers, and asked for things.
29. Not have the same problems as you had in 2016
I’m gonna say yes. I had VERY DIFFERENT PROBLEMS LOL.
30. Know price, value, and the difference between them.
I took a lower paying job because I wanted the work life balance. Just saying.
31. And a repeat from the previous years: Be better than I currently am.
I think so. Always room for improvement.
32. And because it worked out well last year: Take risks. Of all sorts. Because, why not.
Hello from my desk in Vancouver. Because, why not.
Final Tally: 24 for 32 HELL YEAH (half point for #2 and #24)
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For the self ship ask meme how about u and a fav of ur choice? (I havent gotten a chance to see ur baes but im gonna scroll around until i find em bc u deserve asks!!! Ill send some whenever u feel down unless im asleep bc...timezones maybe
thanks,,,,
sorry im not like??? good rn, but ill answer ur ask anyway
its below the cut because this is gonna get long
i assume you meant this one?
if not, just send the one you want and ill answer those too
here’s my f/o page just in case you haven’t found it yet; it details my faves, how the ship is, and a few extra notes.
Thunder & Lightning
1. How did you two meet?
I dunno, really? It was… really crazy at the time. I’d just came to the guild and… there was this asshole. I wanted to fight him, but having just joined… well, I wasn’t allowed up on the second floor… But, yeah, that’s basically it.
2. Was it love at first sight, or did it take awhile for you to warm up to each other?
Awhile? That’s an understatement.
3. What do the people around you think of your relationship?
Mixed opinions, I guess. Some people are for it, some aren’t. I don’t care.
4. Do you have pet names for each other?
Not really… well, maybe. He calls me “pipsqueak” a lot and I always call him “jackass,” so… take that as you will.
5. Have you given your ship a name?
Uhm, yeah? Well, I mean, I guess… I don’t know what I think about it, though…
6. Who is the more dominant one in the relationship?
… Laxus, regrettably.
7. What does each of you think about PDA?
I mean, I don’t really like to be touched? Especially in public, even if it’s just holding hands. Sometimes, it’s alright, but otherwise, I’m not really into it. Maybe if someone’s trying to flirt with him, then I’ll… y’know, try to assert myself. Laxus likes it, though.
8. What do you two find to be the most attractive about one another?
I like his confidence and willingness to speak his mind… He likes that I’m not afraid to back down from anything.
9. What do you two do to get each other “in the mood”?
… Uh. Honestly, sometimes I’m not even sure? It’s just one of those feelings that comes on suddenly. Buuut, if he could stop showing me his teeth and sticking out his tongue, that’d be great.
… Actually, I think that’s what does it for him, too.
10. What was your worst fight?
One time I said I hated him and didn’t want to see him again… and then left for days, so I guess that’s it? We were fighting over past mistakes, so… it was a really bad one.
11. Best gifts you two have exchanged?
He gave me this really pretty green and yellow gemstone that he came across during a job… And I buy him food every day, so take that as you will.
12. Do you want/have kids?
No. And no.
13. Have you ever broken up?
Once or twice, yeah. After some particularly bad fights, we’ve decided to take breaks. But we never really leave each other for long; we just kinda need time to think. We always get back together, apologise, and promise to do better. Back then, we were still kinda figuring things out, so.
14. Scariest moment together?
Whenever he’s really pissed, he gets kinda scary, but… One time, I went a little far with my magic and I think that scared him. … Every time he gets into a fight, he scares me, so.
I guess, in a way, we’re scared to lose each other.
15. Happiest moment together?
Every day one of us comes home. Whether it’s my place or his, whenever one of us steps through that door we’re just… so happy to see each other. He’s a bit more reserved with it, but… y’know. I can tell.
16. Are you or will you ever get married?
No, and probably not. Marriage is not really my thing.
17. Ideal way to spend time with one another?
Sparring or just listening to music together.
18. Who has the higher sex drive?
… Laxus.
19. What areas do the two of you like to be kissed on?
Laxus likes neck kisses and jaw kisses. I’m favourable toward shoulder and neck kisses… and clavicle kisses.
20. What are the biggest relationship flaws the two of you have?
We’re both too stubborn to let things go when we’re fighting. We always bring up the past and things we’ve done wrong.
21. In which ways are you two the most similar?
… We both control Lightning in some way? Annnd, I guess we’re really strong. Though his is more physical strength.
22. In which ways are the two of you most different?
He’s a lot more confident than I am, so… there’s that.
23. Who is the most affectionate?
It varies? Sometimes, if I’m feeling it, I can be. But sometimes he can be, too.
24. If the two of you are apart for a long time, who takes it the hardest?
Me. I get really lonely, really easily. Whenever he’s not around, I just… don’t know what to do? That sounds like I’m wholly dependent on him, I know… but, it’s kinda true. I mean, I can survive without him, I’m not hopeless, but I just get this numb, apathetic feeling whenever he’s gone for too long; emotions become harder to manage.
25. Who said “I love you” first?
Answered here.
26. What was your first kiss like?
Kinda lame, actually. He was tired, I was tired, we both just kinda did it because we didn’t know what else to do… It was real early in the morning and we’d just woken up… And after staring at each other for a few minutes, I guess… we kinda just go the same idea?
27. Who asks to be sent dirty selfies?
Laxus. Sometimes as a joke, sometimes seriously.
28. Who’s more likely to send unsolicited dirty selfies?
… Also Laxus.
29. What do the two of you wear for couples Halloween costumes?
Dragons. I convinced him that it’d be a good idea, so we always go as noodle dragons. Every single year. His outfit is yellow, mine’s green.
30. Who is more possessive over the other?
We’re kinda tied?
31. Who is better at dirty talk? What sorts of things do they say?
You wouldn’t believe it, but my dumb ass is. I could probably say “chicken nugget,” in a sultry tone and he’d get weak in the knees. Something about my voice just gets him, I guess.
32. Is jealousy a problem at all?
No? Yes? Kind of? Sort of. We’re both pretty territorial… but we also mark each other up, too, sooooo.
33. What’s your favourite place to have sex?
Don’t- don’t ask. It’s better if you don’t.
35. Who is more likely to surprise the other by joining them in the shower?
Me. But that doesn’t mean he’s opposed to it. Conserving water and all that.
36. Who apologies the most?
Me. I just have a lot of unresolved, internalised guilt about any and everything.
37. Has anyone ever walked in on you two? What happened?
Once. And we DO NOT speak of it. Not going there, at all.
38. How do you comfort one another during difficult times?
We literally have no idea how comfort works. Cuddling? Listening to music? Listening to the other vent? If not one of those, then we have no idea.
39. How would both of you react to find someone hitting on the other?
Laxus tells me I have a look that scares people away from him if they flirt with him, so? And, Laxus, he just… looks intimidating in general; he has a resting bitch face. I assume that alone says ‘stop flirting with my boyfriend.’
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