#bc his friends/family don’t know about me so I feel like a dirty little secret

[slythernnn]

This is the most ridiculous fucking fight oooooooomg

[pedroscurls]

secret crushes (one-shot)

summary: you've known hugh for years, having not only a personal friendship with him, but also a professional one. then, ryan decides to play matchmaker unbeknownst to you or hugh. pairing: hugh jackman x fem!reader word count: 4.5k warnings: this is complete filth bc how can you not look at that first photo and just be fine??? anyway - porn with little plot, unprotected p in v, public beach sex, seated cowgirl, oral - m receiving, light dirty talk, no use of y/n. a/n: this is for the anon who requested this spicy idea! i hope you enjoyed it as much as i did writing it. i haven't opened up my requests since 2017 (i think), but ya know, that might change after this lol. i mean no disrespect to hugh jackman! this is purely fictional.

“All expenses paid,” you hear Ryan say over the phone. “You deserve a vacation. Even Blake agrees.”

“Ryan, no,” you protest, beginning to clean up your small coffee shop for the day. When you opened your own coffee shop so many years ago, you didn’t expect that not only would it be great business, but that you’d be very close friends with Ryan Reynolds and Hugh Jackman. 

“Oh, come on!” he says. “When was the last time you took time for yourself, hm?” 

There’s a silence that engulfs the two of you.

Before you can even speak, Ryan chimes in. “Exactly. You’ll have your own hotel room. You don’t have to spend the entire trip with us, though, we will be hurt if you don’t hang out with us, and–” he teases. 

“Okay, fine! Fine,” you huff. “I’m sure after Deadpool & Wolverine, you need some time for you and your family too.”

“Yeah,” Ryan replies. “I feel like I can be a good dad now.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “You’ve always been a good dad.”

“Eh,” he chuckles. “So, we’ll see you at the airport this weekend?”

“Sure.”

“Actually, we’re going to pick you up.” Ryan decides. “That way, I know for sure you’ll be coming with us.”

“God, you’re annoying!” you laugh. “Fine. I’ll see you and the family this Friday night. After I close up.”

“No, no. We’re leaving in the morning. Your coffee shop will be fine.”

“I know, it’s just–” you sigh, resting the phone between your ear and shoulder as you rearrange the bags of coffee on the display. Your mind drifts momentarily when you see the Laughing Man coffee beans, thinking about Hugh. “Nevermind.” 

“You think too much,” Ryan points out then his voice turns serious for a moment. “You’ll be okay. Your shop will be okay. In the time we’ve known you – Hugh and I – you’ve always been working, busting your ass.”

“I know,” you then move your gaze to the amount of photographs on your wall behind the counter. They are photographs that you’ve taken, candid ones of your employees, landscape portraits of the trips you’ve taken to find the best coffee beans, even personal photos of you and your family and friends, including Hugh, Ryan, and Blake. 

“So…” he says. “Pick you up Friday morning?” 

“Yes, Ryan. You can pick me up Friday morning. You’re very convincing, do you know that? You just never quit until you get your way.” 

“What can I say? I’m very persuasive.” He chuckles. “Okay, I’ll see you Friday. Have a good rest of your week. Call me if you need anything.” 

“I’m sure I’ll see you and Hugh before then,” you tease. “At this rate, all this free coffee I give you does amount to a free trip.”

“Exactly! Talk to you later.” 

—

You hadn’t spoken to Hugh in weeks, knowing that he and Ryan had been doing constant press conferences and interviews after Deadpool & Wolverine came out. You’d never admit it to either of them, but you did go out to watch the movie and it only fueled the crush that you had on Hugh. Especially that final scene. You’d be lying if you said that you didn’t go home that night with thoughts filled of him. Shirtless and glistening. It was rather inappropriate, really. Not only did you and Hugh start out as friends, but you also had a partnership with him where he sells his brand of coffee at your coffee shop and takes a cut of what the sales make. It’s worked for years now and you never really looked at him in a way that was more than a friend or partner. You knew he was good looking, so sweet and funny, but it wasn’t until months after his divorce that you started to look at him differently. You had to wonder if he looked at you the same way because you started to notice how often he would come by when you were closing up to help you clean, or how his gaze on you would linger, his touches seemingly becoming more and more less friendly and more intimate. 

You’re already on the plane with Ryan, Blake, and the rest of their family. It never felt like you were the odd one out. Both Ryan and Blake always made you feel like you were part of their family. There were plenty of times where you and Hugh would babysit Ryan and Blake’s children while they were busy and always, they’d ask for Uncle Hugh to sing songs from The Greatest Showman. You were always right there next to him, singing and performing alongside him to entertain the kids. 

When you moved to New York, it was a big leap of faith. It wasn’t always easy, but Hugh, Ryan, and Blake made you feel less alone when there were times you weren’t sure you were ever going to make it out here. Now, you can’t even think of leaving New York. It has become your home. These people… They have become your family. 

You look up from your notebook to see Blake and Ryan staring at you, both with big grins on their faces. You can tell they were hiding something, so you shut your notebook and point at them.

“Okay, spill.”

Ryan feigns a gasp, palms raising up in surrender. “Can’t my beautiful wife and I stare at you lovingly?” 

Blake lets out a quiet laugh and rolls her eyes. “It’s nothing.”

“You’re both really bad liars,” you point out. “What is it? Why are you both smiling at me like that?”

“We’re just happy that you’re finally taking some time to yourself,” Blake replies, moving to sit next to you. 

“You’re much more convincing than your husband,” you say loud enough for Ryan to hear.

“I take offense to that,” Ryan says. 

Blake turns to you and looks down at your notebook, tilting her head in amusement. “Even away from your coffee shop, all you can think about is how to improve it. Don’t you ever stop working?” 

“Never,” you laugh, opening your notebook for her to look through. “Fall is right around the corner, so I’m just thinking of a few specialty drinks that I can introduce for a limited time. I hear pumpkin spice is very popular.”

You and Blake stare at each other and then erupt into a fit of laughter, both of you shaking your heads. “Can you promise me one thing on this trip?” she asks.

“I can try.” 

“Try to have some fun, don’t think so much about work. It’ll be there when you get back. We’re in Hawaii for two weeks. Just–” Blake shrugs. “Be open and let loose.” 

You arch an eyebrow. “I feel like there’s a hidden meaning there somewhere.”

“Oh, there is!” Ryan nods, a grin lining his lips. “Or is there?” 

“The both of you,” you shake your head. “Are ridiculous.”

“Ah, but you love us,” Blake grins. 

“Unfortunately,” you tease. “But okay, I’ll do my best. No work. No thinking about work. I’ll try and focus on being in the present.” 

“Maybe you can meditate,” Ryan calls out. “You know, Hugh swears by it.” 

Hugh. The mere mention of his name makes your heart flutter and you subconsciously bite your lower lip. This doesn’t go unnoticed by Blake who tries to bite back a smile. 

“Yeah, maybe.” You stand up and then motion towards the bathroom, excusing yourself from both Blake, Ryan, and their kids. 

Blake then turns to Ryan and grins. She whispers very quietly. “I think it’s going to work.” 

“I sure hope so. Neither of them have any clue what we’re trying to do.” 

“You’ve seen it. I’ve seen it. They’re the only ones who haven’t seen it,” Blake says. 

“Oh, Hugh’s seen it,” Ryan winks. 

Blake chuckles. “Well, let’s see how this trip goes.”

“If it all goes well, they’ll be leaving together,” Ryan replies. 

—

You’ve been in Hawaii for three days now. You’ve possibly spent every moment with Ryan and his family since arriving. You didn’t mind though. Being in their company helped keep your mind away from work, away from the responsibilities that await you at home, away from Hugh. Today, though, Ryan and Blake want to spend the day at a secluded beach to allow their kids to roam free and have fun without worrying about possible paparazzi. 

You look at yourself in the mirror, dressed in a deep blue bikini set – a halter triangle top tied at the base of your neck and back, and a cheeky bottom with side ties that rest on the side of your hips – with a white, long sleeve cover-up. You take a few pictures of yourself, wanting to send it to Hugh or even post it on social media, but you don’t. Instead, you turn off your phone and set it inside your bag before you leave your room to meet Ryan and the family. 

Throughout the entire ride to the island, Ryan and Blake can’t keep their eyes off of you. You busy yourself, though, with playing with their kids, hearing their laughter fill the car. You can tell they’re excited, jumping up and down in their seats as they talk amongst one another about the things they’ll do once they get to the beach. 

It isn’t until you all arrive at the beach and climb out that you notice another car in the lot. Ryan had mentioned before that it would just be his family and you, so you had to wonder if maybe he had gotten something wrong along the way of planning this. But if you were concerned about it, he certainly didn’t show it himself. Instead, he climbs out of the car and grabs the kids’ bags from the trunk before he and Blake motion for you to follow them onto the beach. Your toes hit the sand as you slide your sunglasses on your face. You tell Ryan and Blake that you’ll be at a distance, allowing them at least some time to spend with their kids without you and it gives you enough time to try and meditate. Maybe it will work, you tell yourself. 

You don’t see anyone else nearby and you’re at a good distance from Ryan and Blake, so you set down your towel and bag, removing your cover-up and sunglasses. You make sure to reapply more sunscreen before you walk towards the water. It’s cold and it causes a shiver to run down your spine, so you force yourself to dive in to get acclimated to the temperature of the water. 

The beach had always calmed you down, kept you grounded. It was one of the reasons why you had been so hesitant to leave your hometown of California. From one side of the coast to another. Once you come back up, you run your hands through your wet hair, slicking it back away from your face as you stand, the water only reaching your upper thighs. When you open your eyes, though, your jaw drops. 

Hugh is within a few arms reach as his eyes meet yours. The surprise look on his face tells you all that you need to know. 

He had no idea you would be here.

And neither did you. 

You can’t help but let your eyes take in his frame. His broad chest, water trickling down his frame, disappearing into the waistband of his black board shorts. He’s pulling his shorts up just a bit, but it gives you a good view of the v-cut he has and immediately, you’re aware of the feeling between your legs.

But just like you’re checking him out, Hugh’s also allowing his eyes to roam over your frame. The bikini you’re wearing is so tiny and tight around your frame. He tries to tell himself not to get excited at the mere sight of you, but it’s hard. He’s getting hard, so he does his best to think of other things that could lessen his excitement. 

Since his divorce, Hugh had taken comfort in your presence. What started out as a friendship turned partnership had blossomed into something else. Surely, you felt it too. Or at least that’s what he told himself. 

“Hello, you,” he calls out. 

The both of you begin walking towards each other, meeting in the middle as the waves crash around you. 

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” you say softly. Out of instinct, you reach out to give him a hug, warms snaking around his shoulders. This feels good, hugging him like this feels fucking great. You feel his hard chest and hair against you. He’s so wet, so slick and you just want to–

“I think Ryan may have forgotten to tell us both,” Hugh says, voice deep and husky against your ear as his arms wrap around your waist. Hugh shuts his eyes as he feels your breasts against him, his fingertips resting just above your backside and he feels his manhood stir awake. 

Quickly, Hugh pulls away, slowly lowering himself in the water to cover the growing erection between his legs and also to keep some distance between your bodies. You do the same, swimming further into the water as you both continue to float. 

“And Blake,” you add. “You think it was intentional? You ask, turning to look over your shoulder to see both Ryan and Blake staring at the both of you. 

Hugh looks over at them and lets out a quiet chuckle. “Dunno,” he answers. “But I’m glad you’re here.” 

“Me too,” you blush, heat rising in your cheeks. “How long– How long have you been here?”

“Three days.”

“Those fuckers,” you chuckle. “They totally set this up.”

Hugh laughs alongside you and tilts his head in amusement. He watches you closely, seeing you gnaw at your lower lip nervously (it’s something he’s noticed about you very early on). You bring your hand up to stroke your hair back away from your face and Hugh can’t help but smile to himself. He likes you. Really likes you and he knows that he shouldn’t act on it, knows that there should be some boundary, but he can’t help himself. 

“You nervous?” he asks quietly. 

“What?” you answer, looking up at him. “No…”

“You’re doin’ that thing you do,” Hugh points out. He gently reaches out and runs the pad of his thumb along your lower lip, causing you to release it between your teeth. 

“What thing?” 

“You know what thing,” he chuckles, slowly swimming closer to you. “You bite your lower lip a lot when you get nervous or when you’re deep in thought. So, you’re either nervous or you’re thinkin’ about somethin’. Which is it?”

“Neither,” you lie. 

Hugh narrows his eyes slowly and drags his thumb at the center of your lower lip and down to your chin until he hooks it in his grasp. “Now, I know you’re not someone who lies,” he begins, moving his thumb across your jawline. “Don’t tell me you’re lying now.”

“I’m both,” you blurt out, leaning against his touch. “I’m nervous and I’m thinking about something.”

“You’re always thinking about something,” Hugh points out. “Do I…” he asks hesitantly and drops his hand back into the water. “Do I make you nervous?”

“Right now you are.”

“Why?” 

“Because…” you whisper, looking deeply into his eyes. “One, we’re both basically half naked.”

“We’re at a beach,” he says with a small smile. “We’re in our bathing suits.”

“Half naked,” you correct. “And two, you’re just–” you stop yourself and drop your eyes to his lips then back up to gaze into his eyes. You then remember what Blake told you. Try to have some fun. Be open. Let loose. Now, you understand exactly what she meant by that. So, you let out a shaky breath and continue. “You’re just so fucking hot, Hugh, and yes, you’re making me nervous because you’re literally shirtless and wet, and you’re muscular and it’s just–”

Hugh’s laughter interrupts your rambling. You notice the way his nose crinkles upwards when the laughter comes deep within the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, you’re very aware that you just made a fool out of yourself and you gently shove him. 

“It’s not funny! You asked and so I told you. I was being honest!” 

“I’m not–” he sighs, his laughter dying down. “I’m not laughing at you, baby.” The term slips past his lips so effortlessly and he reaches out from underneath the water to grab a hold of your hip, pulling you to him. “I’m laughing because you think I’m hot to a point that you’re stuttering over your words. Have you seen yourself?” The smile remains on his lips and his thumb begins to rub circles at your hip. “Because if anyone should be nervous, it’s me.”

“You?” 

“Oh, come on,” he says. “Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed that I’ve got the biggest crush on ya.” 

“Wait, you what?” your eyes slightly widen in surprise, but you can’t help the way your stomach flips in excitement. 

“I’ve got a crush on ya,” he whispers. “And I shouldn’t even be having crushes at this age,” Hugh chuckles nervously. “But I do. I like you.”

“You’re not joking?”

“Why would I be joking?”

“Because you can have literally anyone you want and–”

“I want you.” Hugh says, leaning down to rest his forehead against yours. “Do you want me to?” 

“More than you fucking know, Hugh.” You wrap your arms around his shoulders and press your lips against him. You sigh against him moving your legs to wrap around his waist underneath the water as you move your lips against his own. 

Hugh growls against you, both hands moving to your hips as he leans further into you, tilting his head to get a better angle of your lips. He didn’t realize this was how his trip was going to go. After Ryan convinced him to take some time off, especially after the success of their movie together, he was hesitant. He didn’t want to take time off. He was used to being busy, especially after his divorce, but Hugh had only agreed to come on the trip to figure out his feelings for you. 

He just didn’t realize that you’d be here too. 

In the distance, you and Hugh can hear a faint clapping and hollering. You both pull away to look over at the noise and see Blake, Ryan, and their kids jump up in excitement, cheering for the both of you. You see them wave in your direction before they begin to grab their things, making their way back to the parking lot. You then look at Hugh and gaze into his eyes.

“Are they leaving us? Leaving me?” You ask. 

“I can take you back,” Hugh says softly. 

You bite your lower lip and nod. “Only if it isn’t–”

“I wouldn’t be surprised if our hotel rooms are right next to each other,” Hugh chuckles, slowly then moving his hands down as he grasps your backside in his large hands, pulling you flush against him. His gaze darkens as he stares into your eyes. He thinks maybe he might have moved too fast, but when you roll your hips against him, he knows exactly what’s going to happen next. 

You want him just as bad as he does. 

“Hugh,” you whisper, voice laced with desire. “Please.” 

“Tell me, baby.”

“I need you.” You bury your face in the side of his neck and gently nip at his skin, feeling his hands move under you, his long fingers brushing against your core as it causes you to gasp. 

Hugh’s painfully hard against his board shorts and he lets out a low groan when he feels your teeth scrape against the skin at his neck. He feels you squirming against him, moaning into his ear and he has to pull away briefly to look into your eyes. 

“Are you sure?”

“If I have to say please one more time…”

“I don’t mind hearin’ you beg,” he winks. “Come on.” Hugh leads you out of the water and towards his towel in a much more secluded area. You drift from him for a moment to grab your things before following him, watching him lay out his towel before he takes a seat on it, legs spread wide. 

You bite your lower lip and lay out your towel in front of him, dropping to your knees as you crawl towards him until you're seated on your knees between his legs. “We won’t get in trouble, will we?”

Hugh shrugs, reaching down to cup your cheek. “Don’t think so. Ryan made sure that no one but us should be here and–”

“That’s good enough for me.” You lean down and move your hands to the waistband of his board shorts. He’s dripping wet from the water and you can see the outline of his length perfectly due to his shorts sticking to him. You hook your fingers into the waistband and slowly pull it down enough to see his length spring free. Hugh lets out a low groan of relief and reaches behind you to undo the knot at the base of your neck. Once loose, he watches your top fall open to reveal your breasts. He doesn’t have enough time to take in your newly exposed chest because your hand wraps around his base, soft lips grazing the head of his manhood. 

“Ah, baby,” he growls, moving a hand to your shoulder, gripping it tightly as your mouth wraps around his tip. Hugh shuts his eyes and tosses his head back, moving one hand to rest on the towel while the other remains on your shoulder. 

You look up at him, feeling an immediate possessiveness wash over you. He looks so beautiful like this, eyes shut, chest heaving, and at your mercy. 

You begin to stroke his base as your tongue swirls around his tip, lapping at his precum. His groans slowly become louder as you lower your head to take more of him, stroking his base when you realize you can’t take him whole. He’s larger than you expected, girthy and long, and it excites you. As you continue to stroke him in time with sucking his length, you feel Hugh’s hand move from your shoulder to the back of your head as his hips slightly lift itself. He pushes himself further into your mouth, feeling the tip of his cock hit the back of your throat repeatedly. 

“Fuck,” he moans, eyes opening to look down at you. God, Hugh can just come at the sight of you. Tears slightly stinging the corners of your eyes and your mouth stuffed full of him. What a beautiful fucking sight, he thinks.

Slowly, Hugh has to pull away from you because he feels the pit of his stomach tightening, searching for release. He lets out a low growl that reverberates through his chest and you lean up on your knees, licking your lips. Hugh reaches out for you and pulls you on his lap, hurriedly moving your bikini bottom to the side. He grasps his manhood and runs his tip along your length, feeling your wetness coat him with each movement.

“You’re wet for me?” he asks, eyes staring up at you. 

“Only for you.” you reply, eyes fluttering as you feel his tip slowly push into you. He releases his hold on his length and rests his hand on your hip, leaning down to press soft kisses against your chest before he moves onto a breast, flicking his tongue against your nipple repeatedly before he wraps his lips around it. 

You let out a loud moan, moving your hands to his shoulders as you slowly lower yourself onto him, your walls tight and wet sliding down his cock. You feel so full of him and he’s not yet fully in the hilt. The stretch is almost painful, but you’re so wet and throbbing that you have to stop yourself from slamming down onto him. 

“Oh god, Hugh,” you whimper, nails digging into his shoulders as you move along his length, not yet allowing him to fill you to the hilt as your walls begin to make way for him. 

Hugh moves his lips to your other breast, eyes staring up at you. He wants more of you, needs more of you so he slowly lifts his hips, inching further within your depths. 

“Shit,” he groans, watching as his cock disappears into you completely. Hugh’s hands rest over your hips as you pull him closer to you, chests pressed against one another as you slowly roll your hips against his. “So fucking tight, baby,” he whispers against you, forehead resting on yours. 

“You’re–” you gasp, feeling his hair at the base brush against your clit as you continue your movements. “So big,” you moan, eyes falling shut. 

Hugh gently pecks your lips and takes a hold of your hips to guide you along his length. He watches you reach for his cowboy hat, placing it on top of your head and Hugh has to force himself to hold back his release. 

“You’re so hot,” he moans, allowing you to take control of your movements. Hugh can’t help the way your walls tighten around his cock – you’re so warm and wet, so inviting and tight. He knows he’s close, but he can’t– he can’t finish without you finishing first. 

“Baby,” Hugh whimpers, holding you flush against him in a tight grip. “Don’t– Fuck, baby, don’t move.” 

“It’s okay,” you whisper, hands moving to link at the base of his neck. “You can come, Hugh.”

“No,” he shakes his head, losing his resolve as your hips move forward and backward slowly. “You have to be first– Shit…”

“This won’t be the only time,” you say reassuringly, lightly pecking his lips. You then increase your movements, hips moving forward and backward at a faster pace. Hugh’s so deep in this position and you know you’re close, but you’re determined to have Hugh finish before you. 

“Sweetheart,” Hugh grunts. “Baby, I’m–” His eyes flutter shut as he lets out a loud groan, mouth slightly agape as his fingertips dig almost painfully into your hips. His release shoots inside of you, painting your walls as his manhood throbs within your depths. 

He’s still half hard and you take this moment to begin bouncing along his length, using your hand to reach down between you to rub your clit and Hugh’s eyes narrow. He pushes your hand away and rubs your clit with his thumb in a circular motion. 

Hugh feels possessive and almost animalistic at the sight of you using him to get yourself off. He can feel your walls begin to tremble and he’s still a bit sensitive, but you just feel so fucking good. 

“Come on, baby,” he coos, applying pressure to your clit. “I know you’re there. Come for me, sweetheart.”

That’s all it took. Your walls tighten around his length as your body trembles against him. Hugh moves his hand to wrap his arms around your waist, leaning up to press his lips against yours. He’s still inside of you, his length softening as the moment passes. 

You move your lips lazily against his, heavy breaths passing through the both of you as Hugh pulls back slowly. “Wanna head back to the hotel?” he grins. 

“Oh, hell yeah.” 

[star-girl69]

My Heart Never Knows

Jake Sully x Neytiri x Fem!Reader

—-

a/n: i suck at writing family shit but i swear y’all soon we’re gonna get to the good stuff i just gotta tie up this one last plot end but anyways there’s a little bit sprinkled in there so i hope you all enjoy!!

also this is gonna be heavily centered around lo’ak bc my baby deserves better ☹️

warnings: swearing, mention of blood, mentions of injury, mentions of drowning, mentions of death, tell me if i missed anything!!

Chapter Twelve- Hear Their Song

—-

“Y/N!”

You turn, something heavy in your heart, looking at your sister cutting through the throngs of people. She is only a few years older than you- why must she always be so bossy?

“Mother said to tell you dinner’s ready.” Your eyes flick to your friends- Kisre and a few other girls- but Kisre is the only one who stayed.

Your sister is known for her short temper and brash words, but everyone knows she will be a good tsahìk. She is already learning to master a tsaruk, and mother says her connection to Eywa is promising.

“Five more minutes?” you ask, looking back down to the string of seashells in your lap.

“No.”

“Please, Ronal!”

“It’s not me. Mother said dinner’s ready.”

“But-”

“Y/N.”

And you know that voice, and you know she is kinder to you than others, but every person has their breaking point. You stand, mumble your goodbyes to Kisre, and the walk back is silent.

“Why could she not get me herself?”

Your sister sighs, but she looks at you. Sees your wide eyes, small hands, short legs. You are just a child. Her small sister. Is it wrong to not want the world to corrupt you? Just for a little longer?

The sun is setting in front of you two, and Ronal grabs your hand. She doesn’t stop walking. She walks with you, into the setting sun.

“She is just busy,” Ronal decides on, but she knows the truth.

—-

Morning brings nothing but longing, but the feel that something is missing in your hammock.

Three days since it happened- three days of simple touches, longing looks in public, not enough, not enough.

It feels childish- but you need them like nothing before. Like a child getting it’s favorite toy taken.

But is it wrong? Wrong to want to be near them all the time, be their everything, throw caution to the wind and your heart in their heads? Wrong to think about them all the times, hands and lips and hips and a thousand little deaths in your stomach?

You mated with them, in the most beautiful pace, in the rawness of the world, Eywa as your witness, and the union isn’t supposed to be like this.

Not supposed to be secret.

But you are scared. Scared to tell Ronal, tell the clan. Scared to tell their children.

Jake traces his fingers along your face, tries to memorize each slope and slip, tells you that his children think him a hypocrite. He tells them not to fight, yet he goes out and does it himself?

He blames it on you with a smile, tells you that you make him toss aside the world- stupid things like consequences, which Neytiri snorts at- but he knows why his children feels that way.

So, you give them time. It is only three days, but you swear you have grown ten years with how much you have worried.

You know them in a general sense, their interests, likes and dislikes, simple things. You don’t know them like a parent knows them. Can you ever?

The sky caves in on you the entire day, waiting until night falls, until another day closer- but the air is changed. It is no longer filled with your refusal, it is your acceptance that permeates the air.

You are a ship at sea, lost and without a sail, rolling around in search of a lighthouse. But Neytiri and Jake fill your mind’s eye, and suddenly a light is shining bright.

And you realize- there is no more journey. No more unsteady water, rough and unpredictable waves. Smooth sailing, as long as you are at your port, as long as you are next to them.

—-

“I feel like a child.”

“Why?” Neytiri asks, brushing sand from your hair, even though you are on the beach, and it will get dirty again. She just wants to touch you.

“Sneaking around- acting like we aren’t…” you trail off, the words still feeling foreign, still making you blush. Only three days since, and you are still a mess.

“That we are… mates?”

“Yes,” you blush, look away from her, back out onto the horizon. Jake swims with the children, while you and Neytiri rest on the beach. You feel weird, intruding like this. No matter what Jake says, you cannot be apart of their family if their children don’t know.

But, if the children see anything wrong with you tagging along, they don’t say anything. Neytiri says they all like you, and you like them as well, but you don’t know if they like you enough to be their mother.

“Jake is still a fool.” Neytiri’s words are blunt, but you’ve grown used to it. You don’t flinch, close your eyes instead. Sun on your face. Light on your face. Guided already- to here. “I say we tell them quick, yes? But he insists- tell them slowly. I want to wake up with you next to me, my Y/N.”

You stomach flips- and your ribs don’t ache.

You feel loved, whole and happy, and it’s so different from what you’re used to.

“Well,” you start, because they keep encouraging you to have a say, but you’re cut off.

“Mom!” Tuk shouts, running up from the shallow water, kicking sand up. “Mom!”

You see the red on her knee from feet away- a small cut, it will heal on its own.

“Oh, no, Tuk,” Neytiri says, opening her arms for the little girl. Tuk sits, tears and seawater running down her face, back to Neytiri’s chest.

You watch them for a moment, wonder if you can imagine Tuk ever running to you like that.

Neytiri shoots you a look, and you quickly spur into action, not wanting to anger her. You know she just wants the best for everyone.

She has told you, how you have to step up, be something to them, because they won’t give you up and they won’t give their children up. Can’t. And you aren’t mad with them, because you just admire that love.

“Can I see?” you ask, sitting up and shuffling over on your knees. Tuk nods, and you cup your hands around her knee, keeping it steady. “Oh, this looks like it hurts a lot. You must be very brave, no?”

You look up at Tuk, see Neytiri smile at you, and Tuk nods, tears fading.

“Is it alright if I help with the pain? A trick my sister taught me,”

Neytiri nudges her, and Tuk looks a little apprehensive, but mumbles a small yes.

You smile, feel like this is a break in the ice, the opening to something new.

You lean down, suck in at the air near her knee, then lean back and blow the air out.

Silence for a moment, until the sound of Tuk laughing fills the air.

“It doesn’t hurt anymore!” she shouts, looking at her knee in awe. “Thank you, Y/N!”

And all you can do is smile.

—-

“-and I saw a purple fish, and then I skimmed by knee, but Y/N made the pain go away!”

“Really?” Jake asks with a smile, thinking of that storm of a woman, his storm of a woman, his. It’s surreal. He feels like he is dreaming, like he will wake up any moment. He just hopes that he wakes up with the memory of her lips on his. “She’s very nice, right?”

“I love her!” Tuk proclaims, smiling before taking another bite of her food. Neytiri laughs, placing a hand on Tuk’s head, before looking fondly at the space between her and Jake.

And Jake feels it to. Her absence. It feels wrong that she isn’t here to listen about Tuk’s recounting of the day, isn’t here roll her eyes when Jake will inevitably say something stupid again.

He is sure it is written all over his face, his long for, his need. Is it wrong to be consumed by her? He doesn’t think so. But, regardless, the three of them are falling into it together. Navigating these choppy waters, finding their port in all of this.

But also- Jake feels like this is already it. Destination in sight, all he needs is for her to be closer. All he needs is to get over his fears.

“Yeah. You all like Y/N, right?”

He ignores Neytiri’s burning stare, instead waiting for the children’s reactions.

“Yeah.” Lo’ak swallows, looking at Jake oddly. “Tsireya and Ao’nung talk about her a lot.”

“Mhm. She’s nice,” Neteyam agrees. It is obviously that Jake’s eldest son has picked up on something, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Well, I love her. And you two know it, you just don’t wanna admit it. I bet you two dream about the cookies she made that Tsireya gave us.”

The table dissolves into his children bickering, and Jake can’t be bothered. He’s used to the sound of a loud house, but there is one voice missing. One voice he needs.

—-

“Lo’ak?”

When Tsireya told you, all you felt was fear. You’re proud of Lo’ak as you would be anyone in your clan.

He is brother of tulkun, and you know how amazing that is, and you love your soul sister- but Tsireya’s words slowly faded when you remembered that the tulkun haven’t returned from their migration.

The only tulkun that would still be in these waters would be- outcast. Alone.

When she tells you the name, you swear you feel faint.

But she is still your sweet niece, experiencing her first love, navigating unknown waters much like you. In your supposed duty to the clan, you had pushed everyone away when you tried to push Jake and Neytiri away. But, like the tide, they just came back.

“Lo’ak!” you call, and he turns. The paths between the mauri is quiet, and it is growing late, sun setting behind Lo’ak.

He nods, and you can see the confusion on his face, but you simply slap a bright smile on.

Tsireya confided in you, and you are stupid, and can’t keep your mouth shut.

“Do not be mad. But- I know about Payakin.”

“What?” he hisses, scowling, mind adrift.

“Don’t be mad, Lo’ak,” you plead, because Tsireya wants you to help him, because she doesn’t want to lose him. Besides, you want to help him. You want to bond with him. “I am not mad.”

“You- you shouldn’t know.”

“But I know.” You take a deep breath, scrambling for the script you had conjured in your mind. “I- I am the sister of a tulkun, and I love her so dearly, and I know, Lo’ak, I know. But Payakin-”

“It’s different-” he interjects, but you grab his hand, cool in yours, hold it tight. It’s odd, the feeling of the extra finger, but you find you don’t mind.

“Payakin is a killer. His song is one of violence. Listen to what the waves sing, don’t ignore them-”

You can feel his skin heating in yours, see the flush of anger in his neck.

“It’s not like that, you don’t know-”

You sigh. He is like his father, strong heart, thick head. “You’re not listening to me, Lo’ak. You will get hurt, he is a killer.”

He looks at you for a moment, shaking his head, two braids swinging, and you see yourself in him so clearly. The silence is deafening, and you feel something growing in it.

“When I was younger,” you squeeze his hand, even though it is limp in yours, “I almost drowned because I swam during a storm, because I was young and stupid. Don’t be like me, Lo’ak.”

“You’re nothing like me,” he says, but there is a wistfulness, something in his voice that makes you think otherwise.

You feel like you are fading, withering under his words. You thought he had known too, that the two of you were so similar, but you suppose not. Your voice is quiet when you speak. “What am I like?”

He squares his shoulders, stands tall.

“Good. Better. I can see why my parents like you so much- you are the exact opposite of me.”

“Lo’ak-”

“No, I’m sorry, Y/N.” He drops your hand, and it is like whatever invisible string was spun falls. “I shouldn’t have said anything. Please don’t tell my parents.”

And he is running off before you can stop him, and you feel like you’ve seen this before, because he is heading towards the setting sun.

—-

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[leossmoonn]

Play Ground Days

masterlist

pairing - carl gallagher x fem!reader

type - fluff

note / request - “ughh FINALLY someone that writes good imagines abt carl from shameless! could you write one where you two grew up together and you've always been close n stuff and then at some point he realizes he loves the reader and he talks to ian and lip (maybe mickey too bc i love him) about it? (fem!reader btw if that's cool) thanks babe xx” thanks for inspo on the beginning @poesflygirl​ <3 ,,, carl and you are 16 also pls dont come for me ive only played COD 2 times last year so lmao i dont remember a lot about it, enjoy!

summary - carl has liked you since you two were young, and seeks advice from his brothers and mickey

warnings - strong language, drugs and alcohol, little talk about bad body imagine 

————

*gif isnt mine*

“I fucking knew it!” Lip exclaimed.

“Why are you telling us? We’ve known this.” Ian commented, smirking at his little brother.  

“How the hell—” Carl started. 

“You’re not exactly great at hiding your crush on her,” Mickey chuckled. 

Carl’s eyes were the size of saucers. “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not fucking Helen Keller,” Mickey rolled his eyes. 

Carl groaned and ran his hands roughly through his hair. “I can’t believe this. Well, secret’s out, I guess. What do I do?”

“Just go tell her you like her. It’s not like she’s going to turn you down.” Lip shrugged, putting his cigarette to his lips. 

“Lip!” Ian hit his brother’s shoulder. 

“What?” Lip asked. 

“You weren’t supposed to say that, dumbass,” Mickey said.

 “What does that mean?” Carl asked, looking in-between his brother’s and Mickey. 

Lip sighed. “Ah, shit, right. I’ve already said too much.”

————

4 hours earlier: 2:00 PM

“Hey, shit head!” She called out, throwing rocks against the window. 

Carl got up from his bed, shocked but happy to see her. He opened his window, leaning against the frame. 

“What’re you doing here?” He asked.

She threw the rocks to the ground. “Escaping from my druggie dad, duh. What’re you doing?”

“Nothing,” Carl shrugged. 

She did her signature smirk that always made Carl’s heart flutter. “Wanna go and stuff our faces at Patsy’s Pies?”

Carl’s eyes lit up at the mention of fatty, greasy food. “Hell yeah. I’ll come down.”

She nodded, going to the front of their house. Carl ran down the stairs, putting on his shoes and opening the door to find her on the steps. 

“Hey, why didn’t you just come into the house?” Carl asked, shutting the door behind him. 

“Putting damage on your window seemed more fun. Oh, hey! Do you have an extra bed I can sleep in tonight?” She asked. 

Carl nodded. “Yeah, of course. Your dad is that bad, huh?”

“Yep, he relapsed. Super fun,” she laughed sarcastically. 

“I’m sorry. That shit sucks,” Carl said.

She shrugged. “Yeah, well, it’s life. Anyways, ready to go?”

Carl nodded. They got into her car, the girl starting it and driving fast to the dinner. As she was driving, humming to the songs on the radio, Carl stared at her. She was absolutely gorgeous. 

Her name was Y/n L/n. Carl’s oldest and only real friend. They had grown up together, Y/n living only a few houses away from him. They had met in detention in 1st grade and had been close ever since. 

“What’re you staring at?” Y/n asked, glancing over to him. 

Carl blushed. “Nothing.”

“Alright,” Y/n sang.

Carl had often been caught staring at her. It was something he usually did from time to time, but now it was more often. He couldn’t help it. There was something about her. Maybe flawless her skin was, how pretty and bright her smile and eyes were, the way she would make him feel secure and loved, something he had never got from anyone consitently. 

He never really knew why he thought those things about her. People had told him that he probably had a crush on her, but he knew that wasn’t right. He had crushes on girls before and the things he was feeling for Y/n were a lot different than what he had felt for his past girlfriends. He figured it was just that she was his closest friend and he happened to be a horny teenager, so naturally, he just thought those things about her. But oh, how wrong he actually was. 

Y/n parked her car at Patsy’s Pies. They walked into the diner, seeing Fiona at the register. 

“Hey, Fi,” Y/n smiled. 

“Hey, Y/n, Carl! Long time, no see. How are ya?” Fiona asked. 

“Good, good,” Y/n smiled. 

“Good,” Carl said. 

“Great! Well, get yourself seated and someone will be right with you,” she smiled. 

Y/n and walked off to a small booth and sat down. They picked up the menus that were already on the table. 

“You gonna get your usual?” Y/n asked. 

Carl shrugged. “Maybe. Should I change it up?”

“Yes. The double bacon cheeseburger looks good,” Y/n said. 

“Are you getting that?” Carl asked. 

“Maybe. I’ll probably get a salad or something. Gotta watch those calories, you know?” She half-joked, putting a hand on her stomach. 

“I think you look good. You don’t need to worry,” Carl smiled. 

Y/n’s eyes widened. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Carl nodded. 

Y/n looked back at the menu, hiding her embarrassment.

Carl complimenting her was something that was rare, but did happen. Y/n never remembered Carl as a romantic type of guy, but it seems that he had developed  those traits from having a few girlfriends. She liked that, actually. She liked him complimenting her, staring at her for minutes at a time, the way his ears would turn red when she teased him. She liked all of that. 

Y/n would never admit it to anyone, but she had a crush on Carl. She had a crush on him since their freshman year of high school. Well, in reality, she probably has always had one, but the first time she really realised she liked him was in biology when he got in trouble in one of the labs. She remembered when the teacher was yelling at him and he looked at her, smiling at her mischievously and winking at her. That wink had her heart racing and mind go foggy. From then on, she had liked him as more than a friend. Yet, she never said anything because well, as cliche as it was, she was afraid of ruining their friendship. He was really the only one who got her and who never abandoned her. She couldn’t lose him, so she just kept her feelings and gestures to him as friendly as she could.  

“Hi, I’m Carly and I’ll be serving you today. What can I get you today?” The waitress asked. 

“Hi, can I get the philly cheesesteak with a medium coke and fries,” Carl ordered. 

Carly nodded and wrote his order down, turning to Y/n. 

“Um, I’ll get the bacon cheeseburger with a small sprite and fries. Thanks,” Y/n ordered. 

Carly took their menus. “Great. I’ll have your drinks out soon.”

Y/n and Carl smiled at the waitress as she walked away. 

“Hey, so I thought your dad was in rehab,” Carl said. 

Y/n sighed. “He was, but I guess his girlfriend got him drunk, then convinced him to do some lines. God, I can’t believe he's even with her still.”

Carl frowned. “What about your mom? Where’s she?”

“She’s going to nursing school right now. She’s the only one responsible in this family, yet she never calls or anything,” she scoffed.

“You’re really responsible,” Carl said. 

Y/n smiled. “Thanks, C. You are, too.”

Carl laughed, “Me? I sold drugs on the streets once.”

She giggled. “True. But you’ve really shaped. I'm proud.”

Carl smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Y/n hummed a ‘you’re welcome’. Carly came back with their food quickly and they dug in. Carl and Y/n spent their time talking and eating, spending about 2 hours there as they just kept talking. 

“Are you two finished?” Carly asked, gesturing to their empty plates. 

“Yeah,” Carl nodded. 

“Great. Here’s your bill, pay whenever you’re ready,” Carly smiled and took their dirty dishes. 

“Ready to go?” Y/n asked. 

Carl nodded and got out his wallet that he had in his shorts. Meanwhile, Y/n also got out her wallet. They both looked up at each other, awkward expressions on their faces. 

“Oh, I was gonna pay,” Carl said. “No, no, my treat. I invited you here,” Y/n said. 

“You sure?” Carl asked. 

She smiled and put a hand on his arm. “Yes, I am, Carl.”

Butterflies irrupted in Carl’s stomach as she touched him. He nodded slowly, putting his credit card away. Y/n and him walked up to the register and paid for their meal. They then went back to Y/n car. 

“What do you wanna do now?” Y/n asked. 

“Wanna play COD Black Ops 3?” Carl asked. 

“Yes!” Y/n smiled. She drove them back to his house, parking haphazardly on the street. 

The two hurried into the house, grabbing a seat on the couch. Carl got the controllers, turning onto the playstation. Y/n logged onto her account, selecting the gun she wanted to use. Carl then started the game. 

“Where are you?” Y/n squinted her eyes at the screen. 

“Right behind you,” Carl smirked. 

Y/n turned around, gasping as Carl shot her. 

“Fuck you!” Y/n exclaimed. 

“Little rusty, huh?” Carl teased. She rolled her eyes. “I’m gonna kill you next round.”

“I’d like to see you try,” Carl said. 

“Winner gets to pick what’s for dinner,” Y/n said. 

“Deal,” Carl nodded. 

The pair played for a couple hours, the game ending with Y/n getting the last kill. 

“Good game,” she smirked, setting the controller down. 

“I forgot how good you were at this,” Carl frowned. Y/n giggled, “I forgot how bad you were.”

Carl rolled his eyes with a smile. “Alright, where do you want to eat?”

“Hm… Noodles n Company?” She suggested. 

“Sure,” Carl nodded. 

“Alright, I’m gonna use the bathroom and then order. Text me what you want,” Y/n said, getting up from the couch. 

Carl nodded and watched her go upstairs to use the bathroom. Then that’s when Lip, Ian, and Mickey all came into the house. 

“Hey, guys,” Carl said. 

“Hey,” Ian smiled. 

“Is Y/n here? We saw her car out front,” Lip said. “Yeah, she is,” Carl nodded. 

“Asked her out yet?” Lip smirked. Carl’s face turned red. “Wh-What?”

“Oh, you’re not in love with her then?” Ian furrowed his brows. 

“I… am I?” Carl asked. 

Ian chuckled. “Yeah. You always are always happy around her, blush whenever she teases you.”

“And you’re always staring at her,” Lip added.

“That doesn’t mean I like her,” Carl said.

“Do feel dizzy and nauseous when she touches you? Does your heart race when she gets close? Do you see yourself kissing her? Would you do anything for her?” Ian asked. 

Carl furrowed his brows. They were right, all those things did happen when she was near. She was his best friend. He also sometimes think about kissing her and being with her in a romantic way. And yeah, of course he would do anything for her. Maybe… Maybe he did love her. 

“Oh, shit,” he muttered. “I… I guess I am in love with her.”

And that, ladies and gents, is where we left off. Lip, Ian, and Mickey teased Carl until Carl begged them for real help. 

“What do you mean?” Carl asked anxiously. 

Lip looked to Ian and Mickey for help on what to say. Little did Carl know, Y/n actually did admit her crush to someone. And that someone, or someones, were Lip, Ian, and Mickey. 

“Don’t worry about it, man,” Mickey said. 

“Did she say something to you?” Carl asked. “No,” Ian shook his head. “Like Mick said, don’t worry.”

“I… fine. Well, what do I do then?” Carl asked in slight distress.

“Give her some flowers and chocolate. Girls love that shit,” Lip suggested. 

“Alright,” Carl nodded. “I don’t know what her favourite flowers are, though.”

“Just get her roses. That’s really romantic,” Lip said. 

Carl smiled, “Alright. Awesome. Thanks, guys.”

He decided to get the flowers early morning tomorrow before Y/n woke up. 

————

Carl sneaked back into the house, hoping not to wake Y/n up. As he walked into the kitchen, he was shocked to see her at the table drinking coffee. 

“Hey, Carl!” Y/n smiled. 

Carl’s eyes were blown wide. “I.. uh…”

“Who are those for?” Y/n got up and pointed to the flowers and chocolate in his hand. 

“Um… you?” Carl said. Y/n smiled. “Me? What did I do to deserve this?”

Carl knew that he couldn’t make up an excuse. He was horrible at lying to her. So, he decided to just have his confession here. 

“I.. I’m in love with you,” Carl said. Y/n’s jaw dropped and she froze. “Wha-What?”

“My brothers and Mickey helped me realise I was yesterday when you were ordering dinner. They told me I should get you flowers and stuff so I did. I hope you like roses,” Carl explained and held up the gifts. 

Y/n’s lips upturned in a wide smile. “How long have you liked me?”

“Honestly, probably since we were little,” Carl shrugged sheepishly. 

Y/n giggled. “Me, too.”

“Really?” Carl smiled. 

Y/n waked up to him and took the gifts, setting them on the kitchen counter. She went up to him and put her arms around his neck. 

“Yep. I always have,” she grinned. 

“Oh, sick!” Carl exclaimed. “Oh wait.”

“What?” Y/n asked in confusion. 

“That’s what they meant!” Carl exclaimed in realisation.

“Who? What?” “Oh, Lip, Mickey, and Ian kind of told me yesterday when I asked for help,” Carl explained. 

Y/n’s eyes widened and she turned to the stairs, glaring. “Mickey, Lip, Ian! You better fucking run!”  

————

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[problematicfavesareproblematic]

NSFW with Chuck Grant

~ ~ ~

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

 Charles Grant is a walking example of “acts like a badass, is actually a softie” bc BOY, IS HE HARD (lol) TO GET A READ ON. 

When you first start fucking, he doesn’t really have the instinct to stick around after and soak up the afterglow- mostly bc that’s not the dynamic that any of his previous relationships operated under, but also bc he’s like Lieb and doesn’t feel comfortable being vulnerable and potentially having you reject him. He only confidently leaves the first time, and then he judges whether to stay or not on how you look at him as he makes to get dressed after the second time you boink. If you want your space, he’ll go and be back the next day as long as you let him, but if you look even a little bit offended or hurt, he’s getting his ass back in that bed and doing whatever he can to get that sad look out of your eyes.

When he does stay, he’s down to give you whatever he can manage. 

He’s all for slowly kissing you while trailing his fingertips up and down your side, but if you just want to sleep beside him he is more than cool with it (he’ll probably still pet you a lil bit after you fall asleep bc he’s soft for you but shh shh shh don’t tell anyone). The only thing he isn’t very good at doing is pillow talk, especially right after sex. He’s too worried about saying the wrong thing and fucking up what he’s managed to establish with you. 

It isn’t until after he’s shot that he realizes how nice it feels to have someone else take care of him, and when you do so after sex it solidifies the fact that you don’t see him as a burden- you want him and you want to stay. Thank god, too. He doesn’t think he could recover without you (again, not that he’d ever tell you that)

 B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

 Your AhhhhhhHSSSSssssSSSSSs!!!!!!

Oh wow, look at you- owner of the cutest butt he’s ever seen. Can he put his hands on it? Can he squeeze it? Please please puh-lease can you let him watch it jiggle as he fucks you? If you’ve answered yes to any of these questions, then you’ve made each and every single one of his dreams come true. 

He doesn’t discriminate in his love for butts- he’s an equal-opportunity appreciator of the Majesty of the Female Ass™. If it changes size throughout your relationship, he’ll love it even more. Absolutely shameless.

On himself? He likes his legs- especially his thighs. 

He likes how strong they are, despite how much he hates Sobel for getting them to their current strength re: Currahee. But he gets over it quickly bc oh wow is he happy with their endurance while trying to keep up with you, both sexually and otherwise. The day he realized you could ride yourself to orgasm on them was the day he died and went to heaven and was sent back to sin again.

 C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

 He likes cumming on your pubic mound and then watching it slide down your pussy, thank you very much. If you guys are trying for kids or in a position where you don’t have to worry about not having kids, he’ll cum inside of you happily but oh wow he likes watching it slide down your lower lips. BONUS POINTS if he gets to catch it on his thumb and either stick it in your mouth OR circle your clit with it in order to get you off one more time.

Also, you asking him where he wants to cum on you gets him hot under the proverbial collar. 

 D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

 He’d do literally anything for you if you’d let him put his finger in your ass. He will genuinely kill an individual of your choice if you let him put his cock there instead. What a perv (jk it takes a lot of vulnerability for some people to convey their wants and desires to their partners plz remember that this has been a PSA).

The one thing he’ll never actually tell you about... EVER is that for a little while after meeting you for the first time in Georgia, he started hooking up with a girl who he didn’t realize (until much later) bore a striking resemblance to you. He’d had to end the relationship when he straight-up called out your name when he came (he was a lil drunk, just tipsy enough to slip up) and full-on booked it out of there bc not only had he pissed the girl off, but his shout had woken up her family- namely her very angry father- and barely escaped with his life.

 E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

 He’s had two lovers before you, but one of them was really experienced and patient and bless that woman. All he really has to do is learn what you like and he’ll commit it to memory. 

And you better be damn sure that he’ll use that knowledge against you/for his benefit. 

 F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

 Doggy style for all the reasons mentioned before. Or reverse cowgirl. Or normal cowgirl. His hands + your butt= dream combo.

 G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

 He can be goofy, but more than anything else he likes it when you’re goofy. Chuck can get a little too in his own head at times, which can lead to frustration/self-doubt- ESPECIALLY while recovering from his brain injury. You reminding him that sex is meant to be fun does him a huge favor, bc poor lamb will forget that every so often.

So please, nibble at his earlobe in that way that tickles him. Make a quip at the expense of one of your friends. Mock the silly sound of the moan you just let slip out.

 H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

 He’s not going to groom unless you tell him to, but he also doesn’t feel like you need to groom for him, either. Chuck’s not afraid to admit how much his personal hygiene has improved since meeting you. 

I can promise you that if you’re heavily invested in skin/hair care, he’ll probably be just as into building his own routine. 

 I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

 You always have Chuck’s full and undivided attention during sex, but he won’t necessarily show it unless he gets the guy feeling/you tell him that you want him to be. He’s going to whisper sexy things into your ear, call you a good girl (if not his good girl), and do everything in his power (at the time, at least (he can get a little distracted if you’re doing something particularly sexy)) to make sure you feel just how appreciated you are. He gets more and more confident in his PDA as your relationship progresses, but when it’s just you two? You’ll never meet a bigger sweetheart.

 J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

 Ok, so I’m deciding for you that mutual masturbation is a thing that you’re both into, m’kay? 

I'm also making the executive decision that you really enjoy watching him get himself off. You walked in on him one time, before you’d had sex, and were so stunned that you just watched in rapt attention until awkwardly backing out of the room and slamming the door shut. He’d nearly cum right then and there, and it got you extremely aroused. 

The next time you see each other, at some Georgia bar while on a pass, you offhandedly mention that you wish you hadn’t left and FROM THAT DAY ON he always lets you know when he’s feeling the urge and how you’re more than welcome to watch.

And when you do? It’s always a much shorter experience than he intends bc wow how hot are you?

 K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

 Frottage! Dry Humping! Grinding!

Allow me to explain:

In the months following D-Day, it was quickly understood that being on the frontlines meant having traditional forms of sex were no longer on the table (hehe) for you two. You’d experimented with rucking your trousers down your thighs, his thighs, both of your thighs, and each time it was a disaster (with one of the worst times ending up falling onto Tab after he’d inadvertently opened a door that Chuck had been fucking you against. Chuck had nearly thrown fists when Tab refused to look aware from your bare ass.)

So yall started grinding- quickly finding out that the bunches of fabric separating your bodies not only led to new forms of stimulation, but it also meant that you both started to utilize dirty talk. There’s something about your trembling lips at his ear, your warm whispers of ‘so good’ and ‘is this really all you need, Chuck? Me, writhing on you like this? What does that say about you, you desperate boy??’

Boy’s bought a one-way ticket to Boner City, USA.

PLUS! What a way to keep warm during Bastogne? Everyone is so jealous that they don’t have a super foxy megahot babe like you to grind upon.

 L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

 Hmm…..is saying anywhere a cop-out? Because he’s down for anywhere, he’ll follow your lead and rise to the occasion. Such a perv i s2g.

 M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

 ♫ YOOOUUUUUUUU!!!!!! ♫

You have this one eyebrow quirk you do when you’re in the mood, and it just so happens to be similar to the brow raise you give someone trying to outsmart you (which is another turn on for him- you putting some overly-confident sonofabitch back in their place after allowing them to mansplain at you for a little bit. First boner he ever got (since meeting you, obviously) came after witnessing you telling Joe Liebgott to stfu in cutting German after he’d made some off-color comment about your ass.) 

So, more often than not, he'll get a little turned on when you argue with people. Maybe even when you argue with him- who knows? not me. (i totally do, and he totally is)

 N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

 Any sort of pain play, on either of you. 

After being in genuine agony for so long while recovering from all of the surgeries, the idea of seeking any more pain out just doesn’t make sense. Chuck also doesn’t want to see you in pain- even if you’re asking him to make you feel it. You’d both suffered through the pain of hunger, frostbite, insect bites, sunburn, and just war in general (all of which had emotionally taken a toll on him bc he felt completely helpless and hated that he couldn’t do anything to take your hurt away). 

Sex and pain just doesn’t go together for him. Sorry not sorry 

 O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

 He loves having you go down on him, adores the way your eyes look up at him as if you’re challenging him to withstand your beautiful ministrations. 

He also is a big fan of going down on you, but PLEASE PLEASE PUH-LEASE ride his face. Good lord. 

He’s a sucker (teehee) for it- something about you using him like it’s all you keep him around for gets him hot. You also get this certain snarl on your lips when you are getting close that makes him lose his goddamn mind bc WOW YOU ARE SO ATTRACTIVE and HOLY SHIT YOU CHOSE HIM OF ALL PEOPLE? WOWOWOW.

 P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

 He’ll follow your lead/body language in terms of pace. Most sex sessions shift between both slow and deep as well as fast and hard anyway, so he is a fan of both. 

 Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

 A necessary evil, as far as Chuck is concerned. He’ll do them, and he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t enjoy the spontaneity of them, but he would prefer not to be rushed when he’s with you.

 R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

 He was riskier until that one time Tab caught you guys, after which he chilled out. Which you are thankful for, bc you’ve spoken with Lieb’s wife and BOY have those two gotten into some embarrassing situations bc of how risky that kid is. 

 S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

 The longest he's gone is 4 rounds (it was celebratory sex on VE day, with both of you in the best shape you'd ever been in and too high on relief to listen to your bodies. Ya'll were sore and dehydrated afterward but LORD was it worth it.

 T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

 He’d be very open to the idea of toys! On you, he’s automatically cool with it, but it does take him a little bit to get his head around the idea of using toys himself. Again, 40s/50s= somewhat repressed discussion about deviations from the traditional male sexuality- but Chuck is more willing and ready to challenge the societal norms than most. Very sexy of him.

 U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

 He always intends to tease you, but more often than not he gets so turned on that he can’t follow that intention through. You are aware of this and ABSOLUTELY weaponize this knowledge. Get it, fam. 

During day-to-day conversation, however, you both tease each other constantly. It’s been like that since you’ve met each other- always making innuendos and one-upping the other and for some reason that never even went away.

When Chuck woke up and the doctors brought you in to see him, the first thing he told you was that you looked terrible. When you’d replied with a sniff, a smile and a “guess the doc’s were full of shit when they said there was no change in your vision, huh?”- Chuck had smiled so hard it hurt.

 V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

 He’s a choked moan kind of guy. His face gets all scrunched up and his body shakes and he curses quietly under his breath (it’s vv cute and hot, FYI). he doesn’t even try and be quiet on purpose, he just seems to lose the ability to be vocal, tbh. If he’s drinking or if it’s been a hot minute since yall have gotten to do the do, he’ll probably be a bit louder. Like, maybe one loud cry of your name (see: the letter D)

It doesn’t bother him if you make sounds at all, just so you know. If anything, he likes that he’s a quiet cummer bc then he can hear any and all of your sounds.

 W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

 biting your ass while eating you out from behind is *bang* *bang* *bang* *click* *cash register noise*.

Especially if you squeal and smack at him after he does it.

 X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

 Average in all respects but OH MAN does he know how to work it to his advantage. Get ready for a wild ride, my dude. 

 Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

 Higher post-war, tbh. Chuck had had to be on bed rest for so long that he thought he may never get the chance to have sex again, so he totally makes a point to indulge in you every chance that he can get (but he’s cool if you say no, too).

But, as I mentioned in ‘risk’, he’s not going to be humping your leg in public or anything (ok but imagine if you were a dom to his sub and you made him do that holy fuck)

 Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

 He does not sleep very well, poor bb. He will be asleep but his mind will be working through all kinds of things ranging from PTSD to what shoes he wanted to wear to dinner with your parents that weekend. Good thing there’s a remedy to this ailment- your pussy sex with you!

While he can’t konk out immediately, he is able to relax. He will allow himself to get lost in the rhythm of your breathing, the weight of your hand on his arm or your arm wrapped around his middle. He will sometimes nuzzle into you as you’re drifting off to sleep, and when you press a kiss to his forehead he finally feels safe.

~ ~ ~

taglist: @sunsetmando​ @televisionboy​ @now-im-a-belieber​ @tvserie-s-world​ @holdingforgeneralhugs​ @mrseasycompany​ @itswormtrain​ @mrsalwayswrite​ @happyveday​ 

[jinkicake]

You Fuckface!

Kuroo, Oikawa, Tendou with a seemingly cute and innocent s/o but when they start dating they realize that their s/o frequently cusses, is dirty minded, and kinky.

Kuroo Testurou x Reader

Oikawa Tooru x Reader

Tendou Satori x Reader

Anon, I’m really sorry that this took so long!! Also sorry bc I kinda went off on Oikawa’s version..... LOL I have been up all night crying over Junmyeon enlisting, I need a moment. 

Kinda smutty

WC- 2,131

~~~

Kuroo Testurou

Kuroo would be so surprised how you change when you become comfortable enough around him 

It’d make him really happy that you feel that relaxed with him that you don’t have to keep up a front

For Kuroo to fall for such a sweet girl who also happens to be into all the freaky shit he’s into… he’ll be so excited 

Sign him up

Listen, we all know Kuroo is the biggest dork but he also has such a flirty nature

He just emits passion and confidence, it’s his scorpio tendencies that make him so sexc

He’d be really entertained with your personality, finding it humorous whenever a swear word leaves your mouth

When he finds out about your kinks, how rough you want to be manhandled, his eyes will darken and he’ll tease you about it just to hide how turned on he is

Kuroo lives for when you swear at him, calling him random things like ‘fuckface’ or ‘shit lips’ 

He thinks it's hot

He’d def be the type to tease you about your ‘front’, jokingly saying inappropriate things in class just to see your reaction

The way you’d pretend to be shocked and act like you don’t know what he is talking about when your classmates look at the two of you, and then how you’d narrow your eyes at him and glare when they look away

He lives for that

Kuroo loves to see you blush, he will do absolutely ridiculous things just to see you flustered

He is a fool in love, can we blame him?

“Oh? What’s this?” Kuroo asks playfully, peering over your shoulder out of nowhere as you scroll through twitter. Before you can even notice him he grabs your phone and watches, with an amused smile, the gif you were looking at. “Shit, you’re into that kitten?”

You can tell he is trying to tease you but the way his voice lowered and his eyes darkened made your insides melt. Kuroo glances back at the phone and watches the screen all over again.

“You want me to spank your ass cherry red?” His voice is so teasing and sinful, it’s not fair, you can only whimper in response before you try to protest.

“T-that’s not mine.” You weakly try to grab your phone back but Kuroo simply grabs your wrist with his large hand. “Someone retweeted it and I was scrolling past it.” You lie, straight through your teeth, and Kuroo doesn’t believe you in the slightest.

“You’re saying you don’t want to be bent over my knee, marked by my hand over and over?” He lowers his face down to yours and you close your eyes to hide from his heated gaze. “You don’t want me to tie you up with your ass in the air and have my way with you?”

You can’t even believe these words are coming out of Kuroo’s mouth, you want to revel in it. It’s too difficult to form words, not as one of his hands pressed against the small of your back and brings you closer to him, not as his nose runs along your jaw.

“Come on, tell me.” He gently pushes, kissing your cheek reassuringly. At this you finally open your eyes once more, your nerves are all on fire as you look over his face for any amusement. Kuroo looks deadly serious.

“Yes, I would like that.” You tell him, looking down at the floor as his hand tightens against your shirt.

“The sweet, innocent (Y/N) wants to play?” Kuroo teases and nips at your neck, gripping your hip with his other hand. “Let’s play then kitty, I’ll take good care of you."

Oikawa Tooru

Something about King Oikawa tells me that he would not be surprised in the slightest when he finds out what you’re actually like

He’d be able to see right through the front, even before the two of you start dating, which made you really intriguing to him

Every now and then your provocativeness would catch him by surprise, he was never prepared with how vulgar you can be

Oikawa likes it though, he especially likes it when you unconsciously act that way around Iwaizumi

The way his best friend gets flustered every time a curse leaves your lips, or whenever you say something out of pocket makes Oikawa wheeze

It’s one of the funniest things in the world to Oikawa and he laughs even harder every time you apologize to Iwaizumi, just as flustered as him

More often than not, you do catch Oikawa off guard with your language

Not that he’d ever tell you that

If you say something really vulgar he would just stare at you, his wide chocolate eyes would be like 0.o

Almost as if he didn’t believe you said it and then he’d flick your forehead and tell you to knock it off

But you can see the deep blush covering his face, he does a terrible job at hiding it

He’d love to listen to you swear, especially when pleasure is being ripped from your core, it adds flavor to the experience~~

To put it delicately, is Oikawa a prude? Yes and no, because he can be such a tease and curse around you when he feels like it and other times if you swear too loudly in public around adults he becomes a b00mer

Just remember he is a cancer and they’re known to be sensitive…

Either way, love Oikawa and appreciate him or fall ill to my sword~

“Are you ever going to tell Oikawa all the nasty things you tell me?” Your friend asks one random day during lunch, you tilt your head at her and can’t hide the confusion off your face. “Don’t play innocent with me (Y/N), I know you better than that.” She scoffs and you glance around the hallway to make sure it is completely empty.

“What the hell are you talking about fucker?” You scoff and cross your arms over your chest, waiting for her reply.

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe that you want him to eat you out for so long that you lose feeling in your legs.” She snaps, amusement twinkling in her eyes before she lists another secret. “Oh or maybe that you want him to choke the shit out of you till you pass out, that one had me a little worried.” She smiles sheepishly and your jaw drops in shock as you gape at her.

“I said those things at three in the morning, they don’t count!” You try to defend yourself, saying that the lack of sleep made you dickmatized.

“You still said them!” She laughs loudly, throwing her head back and you can only turn red at your secret confessions.

“M-maybe I’ll tell him one day, I can’t just be like ‘oh Tooru please spank me and then fuck my face’.” You pretend to beg, clasping your hands together and looking at your friend with puppy eyes, your voice raising several octaves.

“You’re a dumbass!” She wheezes and you purse your lips at her in retaliation. “We will continue this conversation another time, I have to go meet Makki in the library to work on our project.”

“Try not to make too much noise while you suck his dick this time!” You remind her and she rolls her eyes before flicking you off, you watch as she walks down the hallway before you turn back to your own classroom. You were walking past an empty room when a warm hand grabbed your wrist and pulled you inside, pinning you against the door. Your face sours when you see your boyfriend, looking like his usual charming self yet, there is something off as he stares down at you.

“O-Oikawa? Are you okay?” You ask nervously, your breath hitching when he leans down to nip at your neck.

“Were you ever going to tell me how much of a minx you are?” He asks, his voice rough, as he grabs a handful of your ass harshly.

“Fuck.” You whine and lean your head back against the door, realizing you weren’t as quiet as you thought you were. “How much did you hear?”

“All of it.” He pulls back to stand tall, towering over you to watch you cower underneath him. “How badly do you want it, baby? How much do your words mean?” He taunts and you gasp when you feel his clothed erection pressing against your stomach.

“I want you s-so badly Tooru.” You whimper and your boyfriend’s grin only widens.

“I know baby, I know and I’ll give it to you.”

Tendou Satori

Please, Tendou would have a field day with you

He has a dirty mind and probably swears just as much

He’d be so shocked, lowkey because he didn’t expect it, not like he’d tell you

But he would think it's really funny to listen to you swear or point out how the cloud is shaped like a dick

Tendou just seems to be amused by that

Unless you’re with his family, he’d probably have you refrain from swearing around them

Bootleg hisoka would not appreciate you saying ‘fuck’ when you meet his mother…

But other than that he loves it!!!

If you ever start cursing out of anger and you become out of breath, just know that you may have killed Tendou

He would become very, very, very turned on

He’d be such a cheeky little shit, tease you and say you need to put soap in your mouth

And by soap, he means his dick

“You have such a potty mouth, let’s get something to clean it~~~”

Tendou would probably tease you for hours on end just to hear you swear and wither at his touch

Tendou swearing turns you on just as much so whenever he finishes his fun, you hop on him and do the exact same thing to him, you tease him for hours just to watch him fall apart~

“What’s the difference between being horny and being hungry?” You ask your boyfriend and stare up at him from where you rest on his lap. Tendou glances away from his phone to look down at you, his eyes narrowing suspiciously. “Where you put the cucumber.” 

Tendou watches as you struggle to hide your fits of laughter, your lips pressed together harshly.

“It wasn’t funny?” You pout up at him and he continues to stare at his phone. “Ah, fuck you bitch.” You push at his phone, the smile on your face makes him smile back down at you.

“You need to watch that mouth of yours.” Tendou teases and pinches the tip of your nose.

“Why?” You frown and narrow your eyes at him. “You don’t like it?” Tendou wants to reach down and kiss the pout from your lips but he instead he gently cups your cheeks.

“I think it’s hot.” He brushes his nose against yours and you smile at the interaction. “But you need to learn when you can and can’t say stuff like that.” Tendou’s voice lowers and you stiffen in his lap, nervously looking up at him. “Isn’t that right baby?”

“Yes.” You whisper and Tendou moves one of his hands from your cheeks down to rest on your throat, giving you a teasing squeeze.

“Yes what, darling?” The pressure from his fingers sends a lick of heat straight to your core and you almost shut your eyes in an attempt to savor it.

“Yes, d-daddy.” You whimper and shut your eyes, a few seconds of silence go by and you slowly open your eyes to see Tendou covering his mouth with his hand. When he looks down at you, his whole body falls back against the couch and the loudest laugh you’ve ever heard from him spews from his lips.

“Fuck, I-I’m sorry baby, I can’t.” Tendou wheezes through his tears, clutching his sides as the air leaves his lungs. You simply sit up and cross your arms over your chest, your face soured as you glare at him. “I’m still getting used to it.” He confesses, his entire face tilted red. It’s only been a few nights since you revealed the kink to your boyfriend and he has had a rather difficult time getting used to it.

“You suck!” You whine and poke his chest, turning away when he reaches out for you again.

“Don’t be mad baby, I still think you’re super fucking hot!” He tries to reassure you and you keep your deep rested frown. “Let me make it up to you!” You’re never one to deny Tendou of his offers so you simply turn your face back at him, allowing him to cup your cheeks once more. “That’s my good girl.” Tendou praises quietly before pressing his lips to yours.

[into-a-very-large-dog]

i’m team aro #volterra4ever

reading all the books Midnight Sun and the official illustrated guide gave me a new outlook on aro and the volturi, like i don’t understand why they’re not MORE aggressive with carlisle, idk if i can be clear : 

- carlisle was one of them for a looooong time, long enough to know very well how they work and to know their dirty little secrets. tbh i’m not sure aro wants carlisle back bc he’s heartbroken his #bff left him behind, i feel like it’s more “omg i overshared and i’m scared he’s gonna tell”. 

- so logically, carlisle might know every little tiny weakness of every vampire in the volturi coven, which makes him reaaally dangerous. he could blackmail one of the volturi or use anything he knows against them or their reputation

- carlisle is also 1) against the volturi’s way of life and 2) organising a coven with the OPPOSITE lifestyle which is threatening, especially since the cullen coven is big and carlisle has many friends that could also organise and idk, voice their opinion about the not so cool volturi’s lifestyle and that could escalate

- in the guide, it is said that the volturi try to not be involved with other covens because they don’t want to make other vampires unhappy (i mean they’re kind of the government AND the cops in vampireland so it’s gonna happen) and they don’t want to give others a reason to unite and fight them, because they’re very aware that they can be overthrown by a big enough coven. so yeah, they try to distance themselves from other covens....so getting involved THREE TIMES with the same fuckers, one being an ex-volturi, is probably a LOT for them

- from aro’s point of view, it’s totally logical to interpret carlisle’s family recrutement process as war preparation. like, the guy knows how to overthrow the volturi, finds MANY humans and then turns them and then keeps them with him. AND 3 of these humans (4 with Bella) have special abilities that could be very useful against the volturi

- and then carlisle had a BRILIANT idea, totally not threatening for a guy that managed to gather so many vampires together in one group that they can pass as actually several covens (as said in Midnight Sun), he decided to make EVEN MORE vampires come to him and prepare god knows what bc a god awful creature was born and he wants to protect it. what if it was a secret weapon? what if carlisle kind of baited/compelled the volturi with a confrontation only to use his secret weapon (renesmee) against them to wipe them out? like????? if i were aro i’d be SCARED and i’d 100% try to stop that shit to happen

so i’m currently rereading new moon and the guide and will reread all the other books so i’m only writing this long and disorganised post from the memories i have of my first read a year ago, but like, edward saying aro is the bad guy is a bit too much?? like i think that aro is corrupt but he’s certainly not as bad as edward makes him out to be and edwin should be GRATEFUL that the volturi didn’t come for carlisle’s suspicious ass before

[herstarburststories]

(He Isn't) A Good Guy

Kinktober day 15: humiliation kink

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x reader

Summary: Jensen is tired of everyone saying he's a good guy.

Warnings: dirty talk (kind dark bc of the kink), handjob, p in v, riding, cheating, possessive, slapping

You have to be careful with what you're good at. You might just end up doing it for the rest of your life.

Jensen Ackles never caught the appeal of that saying. If you were really that good at something, why wouldn't you want to do it?

Such a mindset was as constant as a mother’s love and made Jensen's loyal company for a long time during his career. He pictured it would last forever: the head pats, positive criticism, and his charm that caught more and more fans. The Hollywood man was happy, really. He grew to be a good — if not great — actor. He had a wife and three kids that were the love of his life. He could go anywhere and find a job through the instantaneous recognition that Supernatural bestowed upon him, not to mention its gift of a best friend, Jared, and the raw amount of personal growth he went through. 

He was perfect in the most diversified aspects of his life, and, God, it was boring as fuck.

Whatever Jensen did, he was excused for it. Plenty of people would light themselves on fire for him (and hey, don’t think he was ungrateful for that), but being called a good guy that apparently couldn’t do any wrongs while the rights came out even in his sleep could be devastatingly annoying.

He thought he might have some problem, perhaps even a middle-aged crisis. Come on, who, with his life, would feel compelled to look for something else? Ackles had the money, the friends, and family. He had everything everyone dreamed about, but he just wanted to wake up.

Then, he met you.

You were the woman in her twenties who was barely starting in the media business, yet you had enough luck and talent to evoke the CW's attention that early. They wouldn't hire you as an official director, but you were in the training process. You were a prodigy, as most people on the set liked to joke about.

You sighed, slightly frustrated about the direction these takes were going. Asking Ackles to follow orders was roughly the same as punching a wall; the brick didn't break, and it only left you with scuffed knuckles and growing irritation. “Jensen, you need to tilt your head to the side or we won't be able to catch her face on camera.” 

“I'm doing that,” he said as if it was obvious.

“The camera doesn't agree with you.” You crossed your arms, tired of having this heated squabble again.

“I know how to shoot sex scenes, Y/N. I've been doing that for—”

You interrupted him: “I'm aware of how long the show I'm working on has been going, Jensen. Now, take my hint and do as I say. I get that you have done this before, but we are trying a new position, so your M.O. might not work.” You knew he was a good actor. Supernatural wouldn't be what it was if it wasn't for his character. Still, you needed this episode to be perfect in terms of filming. It was your first actual chance to prove how worthy you were. Jensen had his career and little apple pie life settled, but you had to scratch and squirm to insert yourself into the industry. You knew what you were doing. Nonetheless, you attempted to pacify his self-assurance by being assertive and gentle at the same time: “Just listen to me and try it. Please.”

The green-eyed man opened his mouth, very much ready to spit out a contradicting retort, but at the last second, he clamped his jaw shut and opted for a smirk instead. ���Yeah, boss.”

It was the first time in years that someone actually came at him. Jensen felt the bruise aching his ego that spiked a sudden pressing need to puff out his chest and say I know what I am doing. Why don't you watch? 

He'd call that the Texan man behavior, alpha macho testosterone levels on high, but, honestly, he was just mad that someone had the audacity to talk to him like that, as if he was a rookie on his job. Jensen's whole body heated up, his jaw clenched, and his breath caught on his throat when he glanced at you — of course, he'd never put a hand on a woman, but God, that was infuriating. He wasn't a middle school child in need of a lecture.

But this was his first impression. As you gave everyone fifteen minutes to relax before shooting again, he went to his trailer, gait unnecessarily heavy like a child throwing a tantrum. Jensen locked his trailer and closed his eyes, trying to pick out his emotions — how long have it been since he got mad? That couldn't be healthy.

Do as I say. Your words were echoes in his head, spinning and making him dizzy. Just listen to me.

And the look you gave him. It wasn’t adoration as a fan or nervousness like a new worker. You didn’t excuse him as anyone else did. You glanced at him as you would to any other person on the set that had made a mistake: you pointed it out and didn't offer any sugarcoating to dull the blow.

It felt refreshing.

Shaking your head at the scene unrolling on the other side of the camera, you let out an exhausted sigh. This was your second directed episode, and Jensen wasn't making it easy for you. He always seemed like such a nice guy, yet you weren't surprised by his mulish behavior. You had called him out, and now he was turning it back around on you. Celebrities were complicated on their one, but male ones even more. Their egos required a role for themselves.

“Everyone, ten minutes!” you announced, placing the headphones on the table next to you. Your crew started dispersing, Ackles included, when his name left your lips: “Jensen, c'here.”

The green-eyed man arched his eyebrows, not sure why you wanted to talk to him so privately. Still, he approached you.

When you were a kid, you went through a phase when your smile wasn’t very pretty. It was too much teeth, eyes too tight, and head lifted high enough to show under your chin. Your parents couldn't just up and tell you that it looked terrible, obviously, so they just showed you multiple pictures until you decided that you didn't like something about it.

Maybe that would work with Jensen.

You patted the chair next to you, and Jensen sat there with a wisp of hesitation. You clicked on the scene you had been trying to get right for almost an hour. The replay went smoothly, Ackles's shoulders shrugging by the end. He didn't see the fuss about this.

“Seems good,” he said nonchalantly. 

You squinted your eyes at him. Someone as talented as him couldn't be serious about not seeing a problem with how ridiculous his vampire transformation through the last season was. “Seems like a sitcom”

“It's a dumb scene.” Jensen shrugged.

You groaned. “Can't you just accept that you can do better?”

Jensen crossed his arms and straightened his posture, holding a defensive atmosphere around him. God, he was infuriating sometimes. “Maybe you can. I've been doing great for years. You might not be the right director for this kind of show.”

“Just do as I said. You're in the scene, but I'm the audience. I can see right through you. I'm seeing things from another perspective and trying to tell you how to improve. That's what a director is for. Go ahead and try it!”

Your friendly conversation with the lead apparently had the opposite effect. As soon as he went back to his place in front of the camera, Jensen Ackles appeared to acquire the stubborn, incredibly unprofessional desire to take on all the worst camera angles only to get on your nerves.

“Are you kidding me!?” You elevated your voice, furious at how careless he was. All your patience has been zapped. “You're doing it on purpose. How can you be so petty?”

“Me? Petty!?” he said between gritted teeth, almost hissing as he walked to you. “I've been playing Dean for years. I know him more than—”

“I know. You do a big job with that character, but Jensen, you make mistakes. It's part of the process. You're a grown-ass man, so you can take what I'm saying and make something useful out of it. I'm the director; you are the actor. I don't care about how long you’ve been on this stage, and I don’t care for incompetence. You ain't doing good, so do as I say and fix it.”

Jensen tensed up when you said that, exhaling shortly while his eyes glued on you. You were half his age, yet the way you presented yourself — arms stiffly crossed, eyes ablaze and chin lifted — spoke of your power on this film set. At the end of the day, he was just a man, and he was in your court. Just like that, you held all control. He bit his bottom lip, neck red with the heat of anger and adrenaline that lashed through his body.

He was furious, yet all his body could do was react as if you had kissed him instead of punching his ego.

Anger and luxury both came from the same place. They were just different branches on the same tree growing from a common seed.

The half of Supernatural's leader actor started doing it on purpose, then. Not acting in a way that could collide with his career or mess up the shooting schedule, but an occasional bitched scene here and there when he had a chance, and always when you were in charge of the scene.

He relished in it: someone treating him like a man and not an untouchable idol. A woman who would look straight in his eyes and not be too intimidated, excited, or lovey-dovey to tell him all the bad things he needed to hear. You were someone who could put him in his place.

Unfortunately, playing around can only get you so far. If you bring someone to the pool, they won't be satisfied with just one foot in the water. They'd want to swim, splash water at their friends to get them all wet and soaked too. 

What started with provocative, fuming rage and nuisance soon melted into something deadlier. It was something unmanageable, a burning fire that attracted all the wrong kinds of glances. Yet, neither of you could help but follow where the smoke signal led.

You were here, in each other's arms. It was a dirty little secret that went way beyond just an illicit affair: it was about what you two could give to each other without even asking, and what other people could never quite comprehend. . . And they didn't need to. Jensen had you, and you had Jensen. To desire and savor the result was enough.

Your hand was wrapped around his cock, moving up and down in a painfully slow rhythm. You had two legs wrapped around his, your face hanging next to Jensen's — close enough that you could kiss all of his freckles if this were out of love and not necessity — as you spoke.

“Everybody thinks you are the good guy. Little mister perfect.” Ackles groaned at the malice in your tone. He hated that — how everyone called him perfect, how every single person told him he was such a good guy. You were his only grounding force under the blinding lights. “But I know you aren't. You are nasty, disgusting, and so needy for someone to put you in your fucking place.”

The male's lips parted slightly, a pornographic moan leaving his body. This perversion felt like a hair short of sin. Who in their right mind would be so turned on by a girl half his age picking up all the worst things one could say about him, only to throw them exactly where it hurt the most?

Why, in the name of God, did he want more? Why was Jensen bucking his lips, needy noises that he never dons escaping his trembling body? Why was his cock hard as fuck, ruinining your fingers with sloppy precum while he internally begged you for more? 

It was like receiving a miracle and giving it to the devil.

“Look at you,” you continued, a smirk painted on your features, “getting fucked in your trailer by the woman who basically told you to stop whining and get your job done like a real man.” You loved being in control of the usually overconfident Hollywood star. If only his dearest fans knew how much of a submissive he was — how he just needed to be told where he belonged. 

“Y/N…” Jensen managed to say, his chest moving erratically fast. You leaned in to press your lips to his, and he whimpered. Ackles' hand slid to your waist in an attempt to pull you closer, but all he got was a slap on the arm and lack of friction on his dick. “Y/N!”

“I didn't say you could touch me, stubborn idiot.” You hissed, getting up to throw away your skirt and underwear. Jensen sniffed, feeling so ridiculous about himself. You had way too much control over him, but he couldn't really care about anything other than you touching his cock right now. Fuck composure or else. “I'm not your wife. I'm not one of your thirsty fans.” Each word came out in a harsh tone, those syllabus together had no other duty but hurt him, and he loved how they agonized in his body, redirected right to his hardness. You got free of the skirt and your soaked lace panties. “I don't need you. This?” You gestured at yourself and Ackles, a wry laughter coming out as you climbed on his lap. “I'm doing you a favor. So, you better thank me and take whatever I choose to give you. Understood?” Jensen's eyes were obsessed with your image, not leaving your face once— not even to look at his hard cock that was so close to your cunt due the new position. He just nodded, wishing that was enough to show you his piece of mind. It wasn't. You slapped his cheek and howled. “I made you a question.”

Jensen gulped, the red on his cheek from your smack couldn't compare to his blushed body. This felt so good, finally getting what he wanted. Ultimately, he blurted out: “Yes, I understand.”

“Good. Now let's put you to good use.” You winked at him, a hint of silly playfulness before you got all his length inside you at once. Both of you moaned, the unique sensation of your walls around his hard dick was marvelous. So warm, tight, and wet. Everything he deserved in one pussy, one woman. You started to move your hips up and down. “You feel so good inside me, baby. Like your cock was made for me— I think you were made just for this, to be fucked by me. What do you think?” His eyes fluttered shut, Jensen was allowing himself to get lost into you. You were heaven in sin, fucking him so nice. You weren't having his silent, though. You both had to be quiet about many things regarding to your mutual arrangement, you couldn't get more of closed mouths. Not when this was happening. You grabbed Jensen's jaw, fingertips pressing against his skin. “You better start answering me before I get out of here and go get some with a real man.”

Jensen groaned, holding your hips possessively. You knew he was one of the jealous kind, talking about other men touching you always got a reaction out of him. “I'm a real man.” 

“Show me then, baby.” A glimpse of sweetness appeared as you leaned in to kiss his lips. It didn't last much before your lips went to his neck, words coming through an open-mouthed there. “You know, they all are so caught up in your act, Jensen. The perfect texan boy, the amazing husband, the unproblematic idol…” You chortled, sending goosebumps through his whole soul. His dick was deep into you as you were riding his restlessly. “I bet you get tired of this. I bet you just want to fuck me in front of everyone sometimes, just to show them how dirty you can be.” He nodded, a soft whine leaving his lips. He was so tired of being the good guy. Only you knew him. “Like right now. You spent the whole day messing up with me, teasing me, just so you could get punished. And here we are, fucking in your trailer, while everyone is getting ready to go home.” He tried to move his hips as well, to get more of you. When you didn't stop him, Ackles winced and bucked his hips, hitting your G-spot, going deep and raw inside your tight cunt. One of his hands went to your pussy, digits pressing to your clit. Your next words came during groans of pleasure. “You should go too, baby. But you can't help it, huh? You just want go fuck me, even though I don't even care enough to send you a message to make sure you got home safe. You like it. You love that I'm not crazy about you, that I don't care.” His heart ached, but his cock only grew harder. Jensen could feel he was on the edgy. “So, you stay here instead of going home to your sweet wife. You stay here instead of hanging out with your best friend. You stay here instead of looking through your social media just to get an ego boost. Is this what a good man would do, Jensen? No... But that's okay. Men like you just need to be put in their places, and you love it.”

“Y/N!” He screamed helplessly, pulling your body closer to him when he came inside you, marking your pussy as his. A treacherous, lust stained thought was placed on his shoulders, whispering lovingly to his ear like you did your swearing: breed her, get her pregnant with your baby. Make her yours.

You had broken him, and he loved every second of it. He couldn't wait to give you the shattered pieces as a gift.

You came with an excruciating grunt right after him, all over his cock. The feeling of Jensen coming inside you always pushed you right way. You sighed happily, resting your head on his chest.

He enjoyed moments like this.

You remained there, waiting for his cock to relax inside you, get less hard before you pulled you. When it did, you pressed a quick kiss to his collarbone, walking to grab your clothes.

“Jensen,” You coughed after putting on your skirt. “I'll send you the new script tonight. Send me an email to confirm that you got it.”

What you truly wanted to say was, tell me if you got home safe. But you couldn't.

“Sure.” Jensen answered with a nod. Once again, he also wanted to say something else: thank you for giving me what I need, for seeing me. I love you. But he couldn't.

You picked up your wet panties, throwing it at him with a teasing smile before leaving the trailer.

It was enough.

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[theseerasures]

Wouldn't mind some meta WRT Harriet Bree or Marrow Amin.

i have a certain fascination with the actual place of the AceOps within the Atlesian military structure. we know that they’re considered “elite” military operatives and that Ironwood was the Simon Cowell to their One Direction. we know they’re Special Operatives who answer to other Special Operatives--Clover “led” them while he was alive in a way that feels...different from the way team leaders in the show usually lead, and Marrow calls Winter ma’am.* the only other Operative we’ve seen in the show is Cordovin, who (according to season 6 commentary) everyone in Atlas found annoying, but also got a very cushy position as colonial command while Harriet and Marrow spend their days elbow deep in Centinel slime, so like. what gives? i do wonder if the reason they were selected was just Semblance complementarity and i dunno, being extra down with fascism, or if they were also chosen because they lacked certain “desirable” attributes--species, birthplace, family, temperament, what have you--that would have fast-tracked them for command positions, like Clover and Winter clearly were. it’s possible that the AceOps Unit is more of a...model minority purgatory:** glamorous on the outside but full of dirty and dangerous work, and no actual upward mobility.

it’s certainly not required that this be true in canon, but i do think it fleshes out the characters, and adds some dimensions to how Atlas is fundamentally shitty on every level.

it would, for example, heighten the stakes of Harriet’s refusal to grieve--now it’s not just years of indoctrination telling her she’s not allowed, now there might be material consequences if she ever externalizes her grief as grief, instead of this like. strident and furious professionalism. it’s not just that Tortuga was replaceable; it’s that they are, at all times, essentially fungible. if she shows any weakness, she might be out the door. this dovetails perfectly with her hyper-competitiveness as seen and remarked upon in season 7: Harriet needs to get ahead, because it’s the only way she can feel secure in her own position, away from precarity and feeling. in a sense Harriet’s not dissimilar to those dipshits who are against student loans because they paid off theirs already, because it’s the same feedback loop. she’s trapped in a system that’s deeply unfair to her, and her first instinct is to win, and once she’s won it’s clear that the system actually is perfect and fair.

but there’s also clearly a part of her that DOES care about other people--within her own allowable boundaries and without. her conflict with Marrow would have come to a head already if she didn’t care for him in some bizarre, fucked up way. she could have ratted him out to Ironwood for the way he’s been holding back, or she could have just given up on him altogether and let him hang himself by his own insistence on doing the right thing, but instead she just...negs him at every turn and unfairly, cruelly, demands that he improve by falling in line, because in her mind she’s doing it for his own good.

or one of my favorite subtle moments so far: when they touch down at the tundra to meet (and arrest) JYR. Jaune immediately asks for their help, and Winter...balks, and then Harriet looks at her like this:

and THEN she jumps in to antagonize them. when she was beta-ing “no one brought us here but me,” Leah commented that my scene with Harriet and Winter at the hospital reminded her of Adora, Catra, and Lonnie in the Horde, and i haven’t been able to get that out of my head, because that’s exactly what this look encompasses. Harriet knows that you have to fight and claw your way through the system to survive, to be just a little less replaceable than the next person; she knows that EVERYONE is replaceable, and therefore she shouldn’t care. but at the same time: she’s gonna protect what’s hers, and for the time being Winter is her teammate. so she looks at Winter and thinks fine, you’re clearly not ready to put on your big girl boots for your sister’s friends yet. fine. i’ll be the bad guy this time. i’ll cover for you, cut you off at the pass, before you say something that compromises all of us.

loyalty is inextricable from complicity in Atlas. we know from Winter that having doubts is allowed--hell, it might even be encouraged, since it provides a nice alibi for one’s humanity--so long as you don’t actually deviate from the ~right path. and more often than not it’s your teammates and co-workers who keep you on that path, who surveil you and remind you--forcibly if necessary--of who is signing your paychecks, and who hasn’t replaced you yet. Harriet says she had RWBY pegged from the start, and honestly? i believe her. it’s not like anyone on that team is hard to read. she knew that they were cut from the same bleeding heart cloth, but as long as they didn’t do anything stupid Harriet was willing to work with them, and even like them, because that’s how things work in Atlas. when Elm says “you don’t have to understand orders, kids. you just have to follow them,” it’s not just mindlessly repeating ideology, it’s a subtle warning to toe the line for all their sakes. they keep each other loyal, which is a loyalty of its own. they watch each other’s backs, both on and off the field.

which i think is why they all (but especially Harriet and Elm, who had been the most friendly AND the most vocal about How Things Work) felt so personally betrayed by RWBY. in their mind, they’d done their best to acclimate these children to the best way to make it through Atlas alive, and in return the kids spat in their faces by rejecting the system entirely--and they KNOW what happens when you try to do that. in Harriet’s mind the kids have already become more people for whom she cannot grieve, because they’ll be replaced soon, and she has to take them out.***

which makes this:

...this is a serious breach of trust.

on one level it’s not like. a SECRET that Winter’s the Favored Kid, and just a little less dispensable than the rest of them, but to have her rub her white girl privilege in Harriet’s face like this, in front of EVERYONE--that must sting, especially since Harriet had been doing her (very unique version of) best at supporting Winter like any teammate should.

on another level: Winter is pulling rank to commit treason, which is such a bullshit bastard thing to do, because it puts literally all of them in a double bind where if they defy her it’s insubordination, and if they DON’T defy her she’s dragging ALL OF THEM down with her. trust a Schnee to take advantage of the system and leave them holding the bag, right? Winter’s rejecting the system with one hand and using it to forcibly conscript them along with the other, and for--what? one kid’s life? the Right Thing? doesn’t she know that as team leader her first responsibility is to her team, and that loyalty matters more?****

it’s a much worse betrayal than Team RWBY, because Winter’s one of them, but she’s the one tearing the veil right open, she’s the one saying “i don’t care about the system anymore, and i’m willing to game it to drag you along.” Harriet’s been trying to win this thing--this illusory thing that can never be won, where the threat of being replaced can only ever be delayed but not completely outrun--and here comes Winter, who in Harriet’s eyes has pretty much won already, and she says: guess what? it’s all bullshit. i’m the bullshit queen of this bullshit ride, and i’m gonna use my bullshit power over you so we can flip off this entire caboose.*****

so how is Harriet going to react? it’s entirely possible that she’ll double down, and try to go over Winter’s head to Ironwood--keep playing the game, knock Winter off her perch, maybe even take her place. Winter’d deserve it; she was the one who fired the first shot, while Harriet’s been loyal in every sense of the word. but my guess--my hope--is that she’ll choose differently, because she’s not the only one processing this. some members of her team--the people that she cares about despite knowing that she shouldn’t--are less invested in the system than she is. some of them are bound to realize, especially once it sinks in that they’ve been sent on a mission where there’s no coming back,****** that Winter’s not the only one who can decide what matters and what doesn’t.

the day you recognize your cage is the day you begin setting yourself free. they’ve already disobeyed one order, and even if they hadn’t--Ironwood’s gonna replace them all anyway. if they’re gonna proceed with the bomb plan, they don’t have to do it for any reason but their own. or they don’t have to do it at all! it’s treason all the way down, for all of them, and they can decide to each do what they think is right separately, or...they can, for the time being, stick together. watch each other’s backs, so that they all have a better chance of survival.

in a way, it’s what they’ve always done.

*which can i say is fucking absurd given the age gap between the two--like, imagine watching an upperclassman graduate and then after summer break she strolls back into the Academy and is all “i’m actually Dean of Students now” and you’re just expected to nod like yes this is a normal thing to happen

**yes i KNOW that Marrow is the only minority technically bc color-based racism doesn’t exist on Remnant let’s say that everyone else is from Mantle or smth and lemme have this fanwank

***given that the Specialist program has been operating for...well, as long as Cordovin has been around, i wonder if there are any jaded washouts, or people who grew a conscience. i wonder what happened to them if there are, and i wonder if Tortuga was one of them.

****but the thing is: Winter doesn’t. Winter is one of the very few characters who has never been shown as part of a team of peers--even Ironwood got that, as part of the Ozluminati. the only other major examples i can think of are...Salem, who has a team but no peers, and Raven, who had a team but left it. Winter probably had a team at one point at the Academy, but it’s conspicuous that she doesn’t have one now. i’m not gonna get into it because this ain’t about her, but this is another example of Winter’s flaws somehow compensating for her other flaws--if she HAD bonds with teammates, it would be much harder for her default to doing the right thing, consequences be damned.

*****”just a lil bit tho!!! haha please don’t tell my dad”

******do the AceOps know they’ve been sent on a suicide mission? i think they don’t yet, because i think they’ll work it out onscreen, and i don’t think Winter’s gonna tell them.

[herohotline]

Can I please have a Shigaraki who's dating a male s/o that's part of the LoV but has to break it off because of All For One disapproving (either bc he's homophobic or thinks the s/o is too moral or doesn't want Shigaraki to be distracted from his goal)? Maybe with the s/o trying to leave bc they don't want to get Tomura in any trouble while Shigaraki insists that he should stay??? Sorry if it's too specific

A/N: yes yes yes! I hope that I wrote this well- I’m not sure how I feel abt it just yet, so I suppose the notes will tell me if it’s good or not! Might rewrite and try again if it doesn’t hit. It’s not exactly what you requested, i’ll admit, but it has some elements??? So if I have to rewrite it one day then that’s okay jfdhgjg

— — — 

What made you fall in love with a man like Shigaraki? On the outside, he was villainous, cold, immature, and harsh. A man like Shigaraki fights very hard to be in control and not let anyone come close to him- but things have a tendency to happen naturally over working with each other over a long period of time.

Though he doesn’t show it often, he cares for the entire League. It might be minimal, and his way of caring for others might be a little twisted and considered abnormal, but Shigaraki has his own way of doing a lot of things. And even if it wasn’t the way that people normally loved friends and family- at least he still cared for the League at all.

And he cared for you, too.

It was hard to tell at first, especially since your relationship started out rocky. You weren’t the most evil type- you had fallen into the villain category over reasons of ‘justice’ rather than ‘revenge’ or even just a thirst for blood. You didn’t like the feeling or thought of hurting innocent people- and that’s why you didn’t attack the innocent.

You helped the League when you felt it was right to do so. You wanted justice- you wanted society to change and be a more fair, even world for everyone to live in. And if this was the way to do it… then this is the way you would do it. But only when your heart found it just to do so.

Shigaraki was disgusted by you at the start. The fact that you sounded like a typical, roundabout hero from around the block made him despise you. But his feelings about you were trivial since All for One thought you were essential to their cause because of your tactical thinking and useful quirk. Shigaraki’s feelings about you were negatively intense, but nothing that would make you run away.

Though he hated you, you never hated Shigaraki. You could tell right after meeting the League leader that this man- this boy- was wildly manipulated and truly naive. He was being used. You knew you couldn’t change this- you couldn’t help him, not with the way things are right now. But the least you could do was treat him fairly even when he spit in your direction.

Eventually, he asked with an angry tone why you didn’t lash out on him. Why were you always so calm? Why won’t you at least fight back?

You told him that you weren’t here to make more enemies than you needed to. You said that you didn’t want to be enemies with him, but allies.

He rolled his eyes at your answer, saying that you were already allies, whether he liked it or not. But you noticed how he changed his tune around you after that. The two of you became closer from everything you experienced in the League- all the missions, all the close calls, all the trials and tribulations.

It was a rush of pure adrenaline after a successful raid against heroes that made you kiss Shigaraki for the first time- and you were lucky this even worked, considering his face was usually covered by dead hands. He was, of course, caught off guard and somehow offended that you would do such a thing. The kiss only lasted a second before he jumped away from you and cursed at you for being disgusting and disrespectful to your leader.

Such a harsh rejection would have discouraged you if you didn’t already know how Shigaraki worked. You knew, that once he had time to let what you did sink in, he’d either reject you normally or hopefully come and accept your advances.

Which- he sort of did. Quietly at night, he sneaked into your room, and basically told you he had no idea what your intentions were- what his intentions were. He didn’t know a thing about romance, especially anything about romance with another man, and he doesn’t like not knowing things.

(This was a summary of what he said to you- the actual version of it had a lot more petty insults, sarcastic comments, and harsh words mixed in)

That same night, in order to help him understand, you told him your feelings for him and how to kiss someone. You taught him everything you could about what love and affection feels like- what it looks like. And over the course of that night, the two of you secretly grew closer.

It took a few months until Shigaraki eventually stopped caring about the anxiety of being with another person. After kissing you, loving you, and feeling at least somewhat confident in your relationship, it wasn’t really a secret from the League anymore.

The League reacted in an expected way. No one cared that the two of you were men- some of them had already figured out you were together, and others just didn’t care (also known as Dabi). After that, it was a common sight to see the two of you kissing, your hand wrapped around Shigaraki, or having him sit on your lap. Shigaraki really could care less about being worried over PDA- he was too touch starved to care, really. Not like you minded at all- you were just happy to be with him and provide your leader and lover with comfort and a stable person to rely on.

Throughout your relationship, it wasn’t uncommon for you to try and pry things from him if he was willing. It took a lot of coaxing, a lot of convincing, but eventually, he began to open up. And you loved him even more for it.

One evening after you had slept together, you got into the topic of his hands that he wore. “Why do you wear them?” You asked. It was a simple enough question.

“Because I have to,” he replied.

“Why?”

“Because… Because I have to,” he said again, as if confused that wasn’t a good enough answer. As you often did, you tried to elaborate for him to get him to understand what you meant.

“Well… how do they make you feel, when you wear them? What do they do?”

Surprisingly, Shigaraki actually thinks about his answer as he taps his fingers on your naked chest. “…They keep my mind dark. Focused. They remind me of what I’ve done, and what I need to do. They ground me… to the past.”

You hum at his answer, one of your hands moving to stroke and play with his strands of light colored hair. “…And how do you feel without them?”

“Like I can breathe,” he says much quicker this time. “Like I can see what’s right in front of me. Without the hands… I don’t feel as heavy.”

“And isn’t that better?” You ask him, quietly in his ear as you look into his eyes. “Isn’t this better?”

After that night, he begins to wear the hands around his face, throat, and arms less and less. He begins to think clearly like he couldn’t before- it’s almost as if the longer he lives without them, the more he becomes a different kind of person. Granted, he’s more anxious than before, but he’s also more empathetic, considerate, and puts more time and thought into his plans with the League instead of acting hasty and impatient.

And this development doesn’t go unnoticed by All for One.

All For One… Technically, you were hired by him, and technically, you were a villain. But you never liked that man. He seemed to so easily manipulate those around him, including Shigaraki, and it was clear that he was evil to his very core.

He did not fight heroes and cause chaos for anything other than the sake of doing it. He didn’t do it for a sense of justice, personal gain, revenge…

All for One loved to create chaos and he loved to be in the eye of the storm, plain and simple.

And the fact that you were ruining his plans, ruining his problem child who was doing all the dirty work for him- the fact that you were corrupting his broken mind with morals and a sense of ease- well, All for One didn’t like that at all.

All for One, though, wasn’t one for simply showing up at the bar you hid out in, giving out orders. He worked a bit more slyly than that, of course. So, instead, he had a private conference over his little television and intercom with Shigaraki when no one else was around.

When you weren’t around.

“How are things going? I’ve noticed you haven’t made any moves against the heroes recently…” His voice is smooth and even, his broken face shadowed and hidden by the darkness in the room. “Is there anything else you need?” He offers.

Shigaraki stares at the screen in front of him clearly. He isn’t wearing the hands of past regrets like usual- and it gives him an uneasy feeling not to wear them in front of his master. “No, things are running smoothly, for once. We’re just trying to figure out the best way to-“

“We?” All for One interrupts. “Have you started feeling more comfortable with your teammates now? You used to be so stubborn about them…” He chuckles, a dry and halfhearted chuckle that makes Shigaraki inhale shakily.

“They’ve been doing their job,” he says. “It’s better now that we’re all working together. I didn’t like it, but I’ve realized I can’t accomplish our goal all by myself. I need to work harder than that.”

All for One nods. “And how did you come to realize this?”

“Does it matter?” Shigaraki deflects, and his eyes fall away from the screen.

“Will you not answer my question?”

“…My teammates helped me realize this, master. I’m sorry.” The young man frowns as he sees from the minimal light on All for One’s side that his lips break into a grin.

“…___. That is who you mean.” He says knowingly. Shigaraki quickly opens his mouth but his master holds up his hand, making him silent. “I have seen what he’s been doing to you. I think it’s time we had a discussion about our dear ___.”

A cold feeling crawls up Shigaraki’s back, and suddenly he wishes he had his hands- they would cover his face, hide the fact that he’s almost scared right now. But why should he be scared? There’s no reason. How irrational. “What is there to discuss? He’s a good member.”

“Surely, you think so. But he has been corrupting you, young boy. I think it’s time we considered… letting go of him.”

Killing him.

There’s a sense of panic filling Shigaraki as he realizes this, but he can’t show it to All for One. He knows that wouldn’t be wise- he can’t speak too quickly, he can’t act too emotionally. As evenly as he can, he tries to object. “I can’t be so easily corrupted, master. We still need his powers, we can’t-“

“No, I think you can, Tomura.” All for One’s voice raises for the first time during the entire call. It’s minuscule, but Shigaraki hears it. “He has been corrupting you with his mind and his body. He’s been using you, and I cannot allow such things to happen to you. You are too important, Tomura- so you must dispose of him.” The man sighs deeply at Shigaraki’s silence, slowly continuing with a deeper tone. “I am worried for you, Tomura. I only want what is best for you.”

…Does he?

Shigaraki frowns. “Yes, master. I know- I just need to think it over.” He bows slightly at the screen. “I’ll talk to you again soon.”

For the first time, Shigaraki ends the call first, and that action alone has him feel a sense of empowerment.

If you really were changing him, Shigaraki has a feeling that it’s probably for the better. Besides… This is his organization. All for One said as much- he can do as he pleases.

And that means you’re not going anywhere . Not while he can do something about it.

——

“Hey.”

“Oh, hey, Tomura,” You look up at Shigaraki as you lie on your bed. There’s a comic book in your hands as you hold it over your head, your hair messy and knotted from lying on the pillows. Shigaraki observes you silently from your doorway until he walks toward you, toeing off his sneakers before he falls onto your bed and next to you.

You laugh as he tosses and turns until he’s got his head on your chest, looking up at the comic you’re holding. His hands are carefully placed around you in fists, as they usually are when he wants to cuddle with you. “What’s up, Tomura?” You nuzzle your cheek against his shaggy hair and flip a page in your comic.

Shigaraki realizes that he likes it when you say his first name. He was hesitant and felt odd letting you know it at first, and letting you even say it was another hurdle in itself. But after talking with All for One- he likes how you say his name much more than how his master does.

“…Nothing.” He says. “…Where’d you get this?”

“The comic? Twice snatched it for me when him and Toga were raiding for supplies nearby. It was sweet of him to think of me, but I think you’ll like it too.” You look down at him as much as you can, but the position is a little awkward and you can only barely meet his eyes. “Want me to start from the beginning?”

“No,” Shigaraki says and looks back up at the pages. It’s around the middle of the story, not much is left. “Looks like it’s getting interesting.”

You hum and flip another page. “Yeah, you’re right. It’s pretty good where it is right now.”

His arms wrap around you a little tighter as he hums. He agrees with you silently, making his decision without you even knowing what he was deciding as you flip another page.

Things are good right now. Why change that?

[cara-terra-pace]

RICH NEIGHBORS PART 2: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO

Part 1 THE GABRIELING

-wow does Lila get absolutely C R E A M E D in this au.

-almost makes you feel bad.

-almost

-since we got Mr Felix “I don’t need friends. They disappoint me” Agreste here, you better believe this girl gets exposed faster than you can say “Watermelon Kids”.

-(I mean Felix quotes that vine all the time to his FRIENDS so it sorta doesn’t apply but whatever you get what I mean.)

-Lila lies immediately about Marinette. But she obviously doesn’t know it’s Marinette, because Marinette goes by Marie Mêler, and not Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

-it’s actually kind of funny because Noel Bulles (I’m going with Nino’s brother’s name being Chris, not Noel because I needed a name and Noel was the best one so) or Nino Lahiffe also overhears her bragging about being best friends with him, just as he had said about Marinette.

-“oh Marinette Dupain Cheng and I are besties! Us and Nino Lahiffe, we’re like this!” She grins, crossing her fingers to signify how close they are.

-Oh heck to the no!

-Marinette is now becoming angry and that’s not good, so Felix decides “hey, I’ve met Dupain Cheng and Lahiffe before, and they are almost never in the public eye. It’s basically impossible for that to be true. But if you want to continue trying to make this class your sheeple, be my guest. You’ll see what happens when you do.”

-silence

-And the entire class kind of explodes

-everyone realizes that, hmm, yeah that’s a bit suspicious.

-there was no reason for Felix to lie about that, because they know that this 17 year old that acts like some 30 something businessman literally could care less about the class liking him.

-They immediately are more cautious of Lila’s words, and when she starts talking about Jagged and his cat, that really brings it home.

-they ignore her.

-they aren’t mean to her, since that’s just not anyone’s style. Chloe went to homeschool a few years ago, and that’s the only real “bully” they had.

-but they don’t take anything she says seriously. Lila eventually realizes that the lying is not working. So she just stops talking as much, moves to the back of the classroom without prompting, and plans her next move.

-“that wasn’t too bad!” You say, forgetting that there is more.

-Watermelon kids and their reveal!

-Marie is Marinette Dupain Cheng?!

-Noel is Nino Lahiffe?!

-Lila, who hadn’t really talked in weeks except to attempt to gain some sort of sympathy, paled immediately when she was confronted with it on Monday morning.

-“this is proof that you were definitely lying. You should be glad Felix stopped me before I put that video of you on my blog.”

-Alya Cesaire everyone!

-she has a blog where just writes about different attractions and news in Paris. She figured getting such a scoop from the best friend of two never seen in public rich kids would really jump start her blog.

-Felix and Adrien stopped her, Adrien being nice and calm about it and Felix telling her it would be idiotic to post the interview without sources.

-and she listens, bc even though she’s still hopeful that Lila is telling the truth, it does sound a bit too good to be true.

-Alya is still best friends with our baby Mari.

-it’s different than in canon but they hang out at Alya’s a lot, sometimes when Mari stays at the bakery she’ll invite Alya over, and basically they are inseparable

-Alya isn’t really into romance, at least not for herself since she’s trying to kickstart a career, but when she sees the budding romances between Mari and Felix and Adrien and Nino

-Madamoiselle Matchmaker at your service.

-but enough of my girl Alya

-lets get back to the WATERMELON KIDS

-they are both so awkward after the reveal.

-people in class are all starry eyed and it’s weird because okay, they were both nice and well known in the class and throughout the school

-BUT THIS IS NEXT LEVEL

-Mari basically sticks close to her friends because when she gets overwhelmed, they help her out a ton.

-Nino tries to be chill and it’s not working.

-but the thing is, now people either try to become best friends with them for the benefits, or they insult them because they’re rich kids

-and, yeah it doesn’t really bother them.

-sticks and stones, you know?

-but then someone insulted Alya, saying she’s a suck up and she’s just hanging around the group so she can get a scoop and expose their secrets and stuff.

-and Mari and Nino actually go off.

-that is their little baby reporter friend who can definitely take care of herself and doesn’t need to play dirty to get good news and be a great reporter thank you very much

-they can handle being insulted themselves, but touch their friends and family and it’s game over.

-Alya finds it very sweet

-she does remind them that she can take care of herself, but thanks them for backing her up

-Emile Agreste

-woah where did she come from???

-there’s a movie premiere in Paris and she’s attending and Adrien is like !!!

-Felix is just kind of... standoffish when she’s in town??

-he’s just bitter that both his mother and father are distant and his dad’s assistant is more of a mother figure to him at this point.

-btw, Nathalie is so done. She sometimes cries in her office, which sounds really sad until you learn she is just leaning her head on the wall and crying as she bangs her head.

-ma’am please take a month off and take a vacation

-but she can’t because she loves the boys too much

-she’s emile’s best friend, and so when she gets kind of mad at em for being gone so much, everyone’s really surprised.

-she’s walking into the premiere with a tablet in her hands and Emile is like “wow I missed you and Gabe so much!!!”

-and Felix and Adrien are RIGHT THERE LIKE-

-and Nathalie just snaps

-“obviously not enough to actually take a break. Felix, Adrien, it’s time to go into the theatre. Your father won’t be joining us, he didn’t deem this important enough to attend in person.”

-mari and Nino are nearby and OH DO YOU NEED SOME ICE FOR THAT BURN MADAME AGRESTE

-what was I talking about?

-oh yeah, back to fashion.

-that’s Marinette right there, making new designs.

-she does special celebrity commissions and gifts herself, but they have tons of other designers and seamstresses helping with the actual mass production of lines.

-Mari’s first fashion show is a collaboration between DC and LE. They provide the runway music and have live up and comers, and Mari does the same, with smaller designers presenting their lines before Mari’s and her’s being the final and the crown jewel.

-she jump started a lot of careers that way, both in the music and fashion industries.

-the watermelon kids are on every teen magazine

-they are huge in America

-both of them traveled there to just get a better feel of American culture, fashion, and music and wow

-paparazzi

-EVERYWHERE

-Nino meets some American singers and convinces his mother that an American location would be good for the company

-Marinette does the same, insisting that it would be full of profit

-it works and the summer following the reveal, Marinette, Nino, Alya, and the Agreste Twins all go to America.

-which will be elaborated on in Part 3!

This whole thing was sort of a mess lol

I jumped around a lot but most of these were the first ideas that popped into my head and it was a lot of fun to create.

(Note: if you guys want to be tagged, just let me know and you’ll be added to the taglist!)

Taglist: @animegirlweeb

[tweedlydumbtweedlydoo]

Right Person, Wrong Time (Part 3) | Bucky Barnes x reader

**DUPLICATE POST BC FIRST DIDN’T SHOW IN TAGS ** 

Summary: You and Bucky decided to go your separate ways, but the both of you had doubts about that decision. However, after Bucky is thrown into a secret mission and is gone for over a year, you have moved on and found someone else. Who will your heart choose?

| PART 1 | PART 2 |

A/N 11/1/2020: I AM POSTING THIS AGAIN BECAUSE I POSTED THIS DAYS AGO AND IT’S ONLY RECEIVED 12 NOTES SOOOO I DON’T THINK THIS IS SHOWING UP IN THE TAGS #tumblrbeingdumb // this may not even work but we’ll see 

A/N: FINALLY the next part is out. I am so sorry it’s took so long. I had those 3 exams and that took up a lot of my time. So, here you all go. Thank you for waiting patiently and I hope you all enjoy this! xx

Again, I’d like this to get to at least 100 notes before starting on the next part.

Tag list is at the end. Let me know if you want to be added xx

**MASTERLIST**

Requests: OPEN {CLOSED}

** Rules for Requesting **

** Who I Write For **

********************************************************************************************NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS

“Let’s go get lunch?” You suggest to Liam, ignoring Bucky’s stunned reaction. He was a dad? This little one in arms of the one he loved, is his? Half you, half him? But how? 

“y/n, wait.” Bucky begins, “We need to talk about this.”

“Bucky, I’m going to lunch. I’m starving and I won’t see her until later this evening.” You start to turn away from him, but he grabs your arm.

“Y/n, I’ve never seen her at all. I deserve an explanation.”

Liam becomes defensive and puts part of his body in between you and Bucky, “I’d get your hand off her.”

Bucky internally scoffs at the poor man’s attempt. He could snap this man like a twig. Bucky finally lets go of your arm, “I just want to meet my daughter.” He says defeatedly.

You glance down at the babbling girl in your arms and kiss her head before looking back up at Bucky, “I assume you’re staying here at the tower with the other avengers?”

He nods, “If they haven’t done anything with our room.”

our room. It hadn’t been called that since Bucky had left. “I’ll be back this evening with her. Okay?”

Bucky’s eyes are hopeful and he agrees, “Okay. I’ll be here..”

You give a short nod and turn around to follow Liam, leaving Bucky standing there with a million thoughts running through his head.

~

Bucky was anxiously pacing the common room. When would you be here? He really hoped you wouldn’t bring Liam along with. He wanted to talk to you alone, just you, him and his little girl.

“Buck, pacing the floor isn’t going to make her arrive quicker.” Steve says from his spot on the couch. He’d watched his best friend pace the floor for the last half hour.

“I can’t help it. I have a kid, Steve. A little girl.” He stops in front of Steve, “I mean.. how the hell is that even possible? HYDRA would never allow it.”

Steve gives a shrug of his shoulders, “We were all pretty surprised too.” He tosses the newspaper beside him on the couch. “Thought y/n had slept around and lied about it being yours.”

“Then she popped out a kid that was the spitting image of you.” Nat adds, coming into the common room and taking a seat next to Steve.

Steve nods in agreement, “We knew then it was yours.”

“Carried the little one for 9 months and she comes out looking like her dad. What kind of fucked up shit is that?”

They all turn to the sound of your voice. Steve can’t help but chuckle and Bucky cracks a small smile. Nat gives a small sound of excitement at the sight of her god daughter, getting off the couch. “There’s my girl.”

You hand her off to Nat, “You’d think she’d have something of mine.”

“She has your eyes.” Bucky takes a hesitant step to you and Nat, glancing at you, but then his eyes are fixated on the baby girl, “and your beauty.”

“You can hold her, Bucky.”

“She isn’t going to bite.” Nat teases, “Although I might if you try to take her from me.”

You slap Nat’s arm, “Give him his baby.”

“I’m just messing with him.” She mutters, handing her over to Bucky.

You can see Bucky is slightly uncomfortable and holding her like a fragile piece of glass. You place a gentle hand on his arm, “You aren’t going to break her.”

His eyes dart to you, your hand and then back at the little girl, he slowly moves her to his side, “What’s her name?”

She babbles away in his arms, grabbing at his henley, “y/d/n Barnes.”

He looks down at you, “You went with my last name?”

“Well, she is your daughter..” You fix the hat on her head, wiping the small bit of drool off her chin.

“I just figured..”

“We tried to talk her into using her last name.” Nat speaks up from beside you, “But she was adamant that y/d/n would have your last name.”

“We didn’t know this was even possible and I couldn’t take away that from you. She’s still yours even if we did break things off.”

"Thank you.” He says to you, “You don’t know how much that means to me.”

You give a small nod, “So, Rogers did you cook dinner or am I going to starve?”

~

You all had sat around the table, laughing and telling stories about what had happened while Bucky was gone. You’d been hostile toward him when you first seen him, but now, it was like old times when you four would have dinner; the laughter, the jokes, the smiles. It was like old times and Bucky couldn’t help but hope this would never end.

You were in shock when you’d seen him earlier and when Liam arrived with your daughter, you’d gone into a fight or flight response. You didn’t want to get your hopes up or get your heart broke again. Once you’d finally calmed down from seeing him, you’d decided to head to the tower; secretly excited to see Bucky again.

His heart couldn’t help but swell with happiness at the sound of your laugh. He’d missed it and he never once wanted to be without hearing it again. So, he decided then and there he was going to win you back, once and for all. But, would you choose him?

You were gathering the dirty dishes from the table and Bucky stood, grabbing his and Nat’s, “I’ll help.”

Nat and Steve exchanged a look, this would be a good time for you two to talk. So, Nat went to the high chair, “I think miss y/d/n wants to play with auntie Nat and uncle Steeb.” she coos, picking her up from the high chair.

Bucky stopped at the sound of Steve’s nickname, “Uncle what?” He asks, holding back a laugh.

You and Nat burst into laughter, where as Steve just groans, “I thought it would be easier for her to say when she got older.” You answer.

Bucky lets out the chuckle he’d been holding, “I never thought I’d hear the day that Steve would be called uncle Steeb.” He follows you into the kitchen.

“He lowkey likes the nickname though.” You tell Bucky, putting the dishes in the sink.

“I’m sure he does..” He chuckles, handing you the dishes. His fingers brushed against yours and there was a small spark. He knew you’d felt it too when your eyes darted up to his.

You cleared your throat and pulled your hand from his, putting the dishes into the sink, “So...”

“So...” He leans against the opposite counter, across from you.

You cross your arms over your chest, “Bucky...”

“You felt it too.” He says.

You shook your head, “Bucky, I’m with Liam.”

“Y/n..” He takes a step toward you, “You can’t deny we still have something there.” He takes another step and you shake your head, not meeting his eyes.

“I’ve moved on.”

His hand comes to your cheek and you finally look up at him. You two are chest to chest and butterflies fill your stomach, “Buck..”

“We messed up, breaking things off. Please. I’m here now. I want to make things work. We can be a family.” He says, rubbing the pad of his thumb over your cheek.

“Maybe we weren’t meant to be together.”

“You can’t really believe that.” He whispers, dipping his head closer to you, where your lips are within inches of each other, “Doll, look at me..” His eyes are locked on yours and you feel like you’re about to melt any second; falling back into his arms, just as you did before.

You feel yourself slowly leaning in and can see Bucky moving in closer as well. One kiss wouldn’t hurt. Right? Maybe this could give the answer for if you were still in love with him. Liam would never have to know. You could figure this out here and now.

“What the hell is going on here?!”

All my works tag list:  @blossomreed​ , @mggstyles  , @simonsbluee​ , @thewolf-and-thesheep​ , @obxrafe , @abbiesthings​ , @itstaskeen​

Marvel tag list: @hommoturttle​ , @iheartsebastianstan​ , @5jacobm5​ , @lovely-geek​ , @fangirl-swagg​ , @1-800-thanos​ ,

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

i saw in your bio your pronouns are “she/her probs” if you wouldn’t mind could you elaborate on that? you 100% don’t have to bc at the end of the day it’s none of my business but i’ve been thinking a lot about my own gender identity recently and your pronouns caught my eye

okay so basically, when i was born the doctor wasn’t there, he was helping out the teenage girl next door, and my mom had done it a bunch of times already so it was kinda no big deal? so there was no one there to be like “it’s a girl!” and i’ve been chasing that high ever since.

i was the youngest of too many, growing up on street with only little boys and my parents were never home so we’d basically be out and about until like 11pm trying to decide which god from the greek mythos was our secret parent and never once was i a girl with them we just didn’t have gender it didn’t exist

my two older sisters were extremely close whereas my two older brothers were hated each other and I was close with both of them individually so i never interacted with my sisters bc they were always hanging out together

when i started being a woman in middle school (my mom said I had to :/ ) i didn’t do it right and the first question i got asked was “are you a boy or are you a lesbian?”

i was so obsessed with looking like my older brother i kept my hair super super long and to this day he hasn’t cut it he keeps it in a man bun but i cut mine short directly after high school so i could go to an hwc like the fucking lesbian i am

the first girl i dated had four fingers in total on both her hands, not counting thumbs, and we fell in love play wrestling and like, physically rough housing, like i had with the little boys on my street growing up. she plays the viola to this day i think

when i first saw my now ex-boyfriend my first thought was, he’s either a lesbian or he’s trans, and to this day he’s identified as every label on the lgbtqa spectrum which is funny to me

i like the way i look in a binder but maybe that’s just cause i hate my body and want to punish it?

growing up i played a bunch of sports bc the commutes were the only guaranteed time alone i had with my dad and it was on a softball field in sixth grade that i realized i was a lesbian while looking at the short stop. her sister was a lesbian but the girl i liked was very straight :/

every dress i buy makes me look like an ethereal woodland goddess except for the one i bought that makes me look like a witch, and i look objectively gorgeous in them all except i dont wanna be pretty i want girls to jump out of their boots when they see me so i can catch them in my big strong arms and carry them home

once this kid i had a crush on and i watched the carmilla movie together. they were dating someone and i was pretty sure i was in love with them and when the sex scene came on i did not kiss them which i am both proud of and deeply regret

we also watched the miseducation of cameron post together with similar results

my grandfather carried around a pocket knife around with him everywhere bc he wanted to be useful, i carry around a backpack with a playing deck, a phone charger, a portable charger, a charger for my portable charger, a bar, bandaids, hand sanitizer, pen, pencil, notepad, pencil sharpener, a candle, a flashlight, a compass, matches, a book, lip stuff, pads, tampons, advil, neosporin, and a knife.

my dad has a big leather jacket i steal from him constantly and it’s big and brown and i keep an acorn in the pocket of it like i’m a stardew valley character who might need a nature snack. it’s very good for hiding in and definitely conceals my body

whenever i go shopping with my sisters they always try and dress me up as femininely as possible, despite neither of them being feminine in the slightest. whenever i go shopping with my brother i always empty my wallet. so i dont go shopping.

once i explained this problem to a close friend and he dropped off four shirts and those are pretty much the only thing i wear now. i found one pair of jeans that fit and i just wash those when they get dirty and hope low rise comes back into fashion eventually cause high rise hurts my belly

over time my friend group and family (extended family) has become increasingly trans allowing me to explore my gender for what it is, i don’t feel as though i always need to present anything bc often they’re too tired or in chronic pain to present anything either. in truth, my name is not gus, but it’s one i’m considering going by offline and that a few friends call me. i have warned my fam that i might change my name and pronouns and they were all like :/// okay sweetie, but not they/them okay? the grammar would be a nightmare which like. i’ll take it. they accepted me being a theater kid when i thought i was a theater kid, i’ll give ‘em a break on this one

this snl sketch is a very good thing that was made, my sister is one of those women at the beginning, she’s extremely fashion minded and so smart and aesthetic. the line ‘as a child you were humiliated in a kohls fitting room where your mother said something so harmful it seared off the top layer of your brain”

it was actually my mother’s room where i had been called fat one too many times by my brother and went to her and asked if i was. she said i could stand to lose a few.

my mother really struggled to lose her own baby weight as she had me late in life and with so many kids financial woes didn’t really ease out until i was maybe 7? 8? i didn’t realize at the time but she was looking at her reflection in one of the big mirrors she had in her room and even if she was talking to me she wasn’t talking to me, you know?

my mom did eventually lose the weight and got really in shape, like insanely in shape, she can now outrun god and dead lift satan on the days where her knee isn’t bothering her.

what else what else.

this poem:

“the tomboy grew up and she never went tame and she never found boys or makeup or nothing – nothing wrong with the girls who did but also it’s not inevitable, this progression womanhood rejected you, because where are the grownup tomboys? there’s no room for the rough-and-tumble girls to become rough-and-tumble foulmouthed broad-shouldered women. it’s alright to play at, daughter, they told you, but you have to grow up, and you were confused because you were playing at nothing the tomboy grew up, nonetheless. and instead of wrestling with friends she wrestled with herself for a while. but despite what they said, here she is, still rough, still wild. don’t believe the lies, daughter. grow as you need to. allow yourself to be pruned only to become stronger. grow bold and proud, daughter, like the trees that give you shelter, tomboy, wild girl. love the girls you dream of being strong for and the friends who bear you up when the storms shake your roots. there is value in the crabapple trees, wild daughter, even if the orchard-keeper turns up his nose. know this always, daughter: i love you exactly as you are, and however you need to be” by @sailorshadow

for julia in nebraska by addrienne rich

my friend got me that shirt during quarantine and i got the haircut a few weeks later

on the subject of rita mae brown who wrote ruby fruit jungle, i read the book while overseas in two days, didn’t look up the entire time, and was one of the first gay books i read. one of the things i loved about it was how the speaker was so unapologetically herself. how it ends on a note of bitter strength and triumphant defeat. i reread it while in georgia last year and found i had outgrown it. you might find some comfort in it, idk, just watch out bc there is some terf stuff in it? it aint perfect so just keep an eye out for that, it doesn’t ruin the book i don’t think, there’s other good stuff in it.

here’s some pictures of men:

growing up i was also surrounded by picture books, my grandmother was a children’s book librarian, and here are a couple of important figures:

then how to catch an elephant by amy schwartz but in particular this page:

and i’m sure i’m forgetting things but here’s my gender euphoria playlist:

i’m sure there’s stuff i’m not thinking of but i think that’s the gist of it? if you have any questions feel free to ask

ope! i almost forgot a couple of other important things:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hq27hcPTzDo

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ENxbcvUXfnM

hope this helps you on your journey!!!!!!

[dreaming-of-assclass]

Reading your reblog of the Kaho/Retaliation arc got me thinking about how much I hated that Korosensei punished the entire class - even those who were responsible and didn't parkour, and forced everyone to abstain from studying for two weeks bc I hate it when authority figures and teachers punish an entire group for something only a few people did and screw over those who were innocent because guilt by association. Tbh I much prefer your idea to everyone getting screwed over. :/

YEAH!!! I have such a HUGE problem with that punishment too. Like seriously...it really upset me ngl.

I agree with you! That type of reasoning in school settings is infuriating, and I remember how upset I got when it applied to me in my younger grades. It just is so unfair...in the case of 3-E, more than half of them didn’t even participate I think. (I may be wrong)

The only part of this that I am semi-interested in...is the building of class drama and tension. Once again, the extroverted/assertive students of the class screwed over everyone, and I think that’s SO good for potential class conflict. Like the passive kids deserved to be rightfully pissed at them, honestly.

The biggest reason why this consequence upset me though was that Koro essentially dug them all graves by not letting them study. And that is beyond messed up to me because these kids go to a prestigious school. A competitive school. And majority of them have super strict/abusive parents. I don’t even want to think about the danger they could’ve been in had they flunked just because their teacher gave them a shitty punishment.

And it’s so scary because like?? They can’t even tell their family they failed the exam because of him!! He’s a government secret!! No one can know about the class and their activities! Hhhhhh it just makes me so stressed thinking about it :(

I just feel like the class definitely could have an arc about learning responsibility and maturity...but not like that, you know? This just felt so incredibly harsh and misdirected. And the whole class got impacted!!! If I were one of the kids who didn’t participate, I’d lose my shit on the class oh my god. I wonder why no one was mad at the kids who did parkour...or even the two boys who started it (Okajima and Kimura)

My ideal solution: use the kaho arc as a way for the class to get in over their head, make a mistake, and face a reasonable consequence. But really, I don’t mind the parkour arc...I just would get rid of that awful punishment, and have the class face a realistic conflict amongst each other.

Listen, 14 year olds can be PETTY. And in this situation, they’d have every right to hold a grudge against each other. And shhhh it’s not just me wanting entertaining drama lmao.

Also Fumiko brought this up: some of the kids who did the stupid parkour stuff were really ooc?? Like the sniper duo?? Isogai?? KATAOKA???! When would these kids EVER do something so stupid. I definitely would change up the lineup because this is not it lmao

^^Going back to class drama hehe: if you guys haven’t noticed, most of the biggest problems came from the assertive kids (I’m talking Group 1 + 2 mainly)

Exhibit A: The Retaliation arc. To be fair, it was mainly Maehara’s friends and whoever was there who were pissed but still....they definitely led this little problematic mission.

Exhibit B: The Irina incident. This one fucks me up so much and I could write a whole post on it separately. This was a bit of the whole class but once again: the assertive kids led it through. They have the biggest influence in the class. Like no way Group 3 for example would be like, “Uhhhhh hey let’s mess with Bitch-sensei’s love life lmao”

Exhibit C: The Parkour incident. Enough said.

Oops forgot but: Exhibit D: THE SKIRT-PEEKING ROBOT UGH

And just in general I feel like these kids would be the ones to lead things they shouldn’t be doing...like stalking people/classmates...(cough cough Korotan c cough cough they did my man Shuu dirty)

The assertive kids hold the biggest influence in the classroom, it’s their voices that will be heard above all others. That certainly changed a bit towards the end of the series when they came together more, but it still holds truth.

It would have been so goddamn interesting if we had a realistic class conflict in which the more passive members of the class finally spoke up, and brought up the unfairness.

I’m getting so off-track hahaha. But yeah basically these are my thoughts. I 100% agree with you.

Also....can we talk about how Koro slapped those kids.... like that came out of nowhere.....

He didn’t wanna touch Takaoka who was actively beating children, but he slapped his kids who accidentally injured an old man...like ok Koro 💀

(For the record I love Korosensei. I just get so confused by the inconsistencies in his teaching lmao, esp in this arc)

[gold-onthe-inside]

Hello lovely! I haven't been following you for long but I want to congratulate you on hitting 350 followers! You deserve it because your content is super entertaining and your blog is one of my favourites on here! I don't have access to emojis from this computer but I would love to requests these: the concept of reader meeting spencer when the jet lands and meeting the team, and as a debate, what do you think about Gideon's ending and Elle's ending, because they frustrate the hell out of me!

omg, i want to cry. thank you so very very much. i am on my laptop too, purely because it is easier to type this out. 

reader meeting spencer when the jet lands and meeting the team

in my head, spencer would want to keep his relationship on the down low, mostly like maeve. he doesn’t need everyone knowing and he doesn’t want to scare off the reader by introducing them to the team. that said, their opinion of reader is very important to both of them.

derek will tease spencer to no end, banging on about how lucky he is. secretly, he always knew spencer had game, he just has to get out of his head.

emily and jj would no doubt be pleased and eager to know how the couple met. 

jj would give off mother hen energy, constantly hyping up spencer and all the crazy brave things he does on the job, only to end up scaring reader. 

emily is canonically a brunch person so she’d probably try and get to know reader on her own turf.

hotch honestly seem a little indifferent at first. but then jessica’s sick and jack needs a babysitter while aaron’s away and reader covers for him (bc spencer cannot keep a secret)

rossi’s very protective of spencer (though he’ll never admit it) so he’ll take his time in making his judgement. but he realises reader makes spencer happy and makes him feel loved and so now reader gets invited to all the parties and pasta nights.

omg and penelope is such a force to be reckoned with. she will look into every facet of reader’s life, snooping for former s.o’s and dirty secrets. and when she finally approves, she will be their most avid supporter, reminding spencer of all their milestones. she starts a scrapbook for their relationship which reader finds slightly weird but very sweet.

gideon’s ending

i actually didn’t mind gideon leaving the team. he had a very difficult job and after frank and the team’s failings, he just couldn’t take it anymore. he had to walk away -- and i understand that completely.

what i don’t understand is why he took the back door. now maybe the team wasn’t exactly a family yet, but he was a friend to hotch and a mentor to spencer. i think they owed us at least a farewell scene, one that wasn’t just a letter left for spencer to read after he left.

elle’s ending

ooooh okay. first off, she’s an amazing agent and a badass and loyal friend. she’s one of the few that doesn’t constantly tease spencer about his intelligence or lack of social skills. in fact, she goes out of her way to encourage him and boost his confidence. so i really enjoyed elle’s character. not to mention how beautiful and sexy she is!! 

but taking in her background in the sex crimes division, i wasn’t surprised that they chose to tap into that. it also ties her arc up very well, parallelling the Chinese restaurant scene from ‘A Real Rain’ (1x17), where she says:

Elle: You know how many rapists I saw walk during my sex-crime days? None of the victims, they didn't want to press charges. Or the juries, they said that she was asking for it. It was enough to make you explode. 

JJ: It's a long way from feeling like that and actually committing murder, don't you think? 

Aaron: Not really. 

so i like that they revisited that. but there should have been consequences for what she did. like it or not, she shot a man when they had no proof he was the unsub. now, they came out of it very lucky considering he was, but elle crossed a line that she was bound to cross. i think if she was going to leave at all, that was the most in-character way to do it.

[xthelastknownsurvivorx]

Hamilton!firstprince au

(cross posted from twitter with a couple of edits b/c i couldn’t make them there)

in which i loosely follow the plot of hamilton except its firstprince and alex and henry get a happy ending. inspired by the striking similarities i noted between our favorite first son and his namesake hamilton in the broadway musical

the similarities:

both have/will have a political career

both often talk too much/don't mind their words

both began as lawyers

both extremely motivated but overwork themselves (“nonstop” +  “you have a fire under ur ass for no good goddamn reason)

both had some sort of sex scandal that impacted their career plans

hamilton speculated to be bi

the story

the setup of the colonized country alex lives in is similar to the usa vs england but fictional bc alexs race would have limited his opportunities in america's early years

idk names for either of these countries so its now the colony and the motherland

alex + his mom live alone in the poorer southern part of the colony

but his dad + june live elsewhere + they dont rly contact e/o (tho they do know of e/o’s existence)

june becomes a journalist who writes important pieces abt independence

when alex comes of age his mom reveals she used to be part of the rebellion

thats actually why his dad left to raise june bc it was too dangerous

his parents met in the rebellion but oscar left first for june while ellen stayed until she realized she was pregnant w alex

ellen still has some rebel contacts but she mostly sheltered alex to keep him safe

now tho alex decides to join too + the rebellion sends him up north to the capital for an education bc he's smart + they need people like that

he attends uni + meets like-minded people there

tension grows btwn the colony in the motherland, and alex + his friends write/speak out often and this goes on throughout their schooling

they’re also troublemakers in general too, much to the annoyance of the motherland soldiers stationed in the capital to prevent rebellion

henry is one of those soldiers

he's from a noble family in the motherland but was sent overseas as the sort of black sheep of the family due to his sexuality

the idea was to let him be in charge in the colony + reestablish a reputation there w/o embarrassing the main family back home

henry hates his job + feels bad for the colonists but still does what he's told anyway

alex + fhis riends like to bug motherland soldiers for fun

nothing  enough to put their lives in danger too much (although yes that too esp when drunk)

henry becomes a favorite target of alex's bc he's awfully stoic + statue like + on the way to uni - overall fun to antagonize 

there's also the fact that alex is angry at all the soldiers for oppressing the colony + holding up the motherland monarchs tyranny (but also alex just is the type to fight literally everything and anything) 

it becomes almost a daily ritual for them to argue 

henry wonders why this colonist keeps on picking a fight w him but soon almost looks forward to it

many of the other soldiers know or speculate why henry is in the colony but none make the effort to get to know him; some even call him arrogant or undeserving of his position

alex doesn't 

of course alex also doesn't know him

and alex hates him

but he doesn't whisper behind henry's back

henry comes to read some of the essays alex publishes speaking out against the monarchy + also hears alex speak to crowd in the square

alex is a talented + charismatic public speaker

henry finds himself growing increasingly sympathetic to the colonists cause

at the same time he and the other soldiers are order to be stricter and dole out more punishments

the others gleefully do so which makes henry concerned about alex's safety bc alex often seems to have no self-preservation skills

henry asks alex for a word when he's alone 

“am I in trouble?” “no but you bloody will be if u keep going on like this” 

“this is serious” “so am I” “you can't go around saying things so openly you'll get yourself killed”

alex tries to leave at this point “I think I'll be ok” but henry shoves him against the nearest wall 

“listen to me! stop acting like this is a game! ur putting ur sodding life in danger! I dont bloody care what ur opinions r but why must u declare them around enemy soldiers? how is this helpful 2 ur cause? u cant fight if ur dead” 

“you'd b surprised how effective martyrs are” 

cue enraged henry noises 

alexs gaze turns hard “listen i  appreciate/the advice” he says sarcastically “but I dont need an enemy telling me what to do. I can take care of myself” 

there's a stirring in alexs chest after he removes henry's hand and stalks off that he's pretty sure is anger

like it can't be anything else 

while alex is trying to convince himself of that, the tensions boil over + soon the two sides are on the brink of war then the fighting starts

henry + alex don't talk much for a while bc they're both busy on their sides preparing

school is on hold during the war so alex + his friends are looking to serve + bring glory to their names 

alex esp is recognized for his intelligence + becomes the recognized general rafael lunas secretary

luna is the george washington figure in this case who is impressed by alex wants him as his right-hand man

alex is disappointed his role is not on the battlefield bc he knows he has a good tactical mind + he could change the tide of a losing war + gain honor and status thru it, which would put him in a good position to be elected in the future

as secretary, alex is in charge of a lot of important correspondence eg for more supplies + men, so the motherland soldiers figure ambushing him off the battlefield would make things hard for the colonists

henry overhears this plan + immediately worries for alex's safety but he's cornered by another soldier to talk strategy + misses the chance to take out the men then

henry manages to catch that they're going to attack alex at night when he leaves + henry arrives just in time to kill them in a panic

alex hears the gunshot + yells “drop ur weapon”, drawing his own gun

henry obviously does + alex inspects the scene he keeps a gun fixed on henry

“what's going on?” he asks, eyeing henry w/ suspicion

henry explains everything + looks positively terrified bc he just betrayed his side even tho the motherland and his family has treated him like shit since he came out but still. 

becoming an outright traitor is not something henry ever planned + leaving behind everything he's ever known w no hope of ever going back is terrifying

but he also doesn't regret protecting alex

alex questions henry but can quickly tell henry is sincere + is telling the truth

henry explains his change of heart + they have a heartfelt moment in/just outside luna's office.

alex almost died + henry just switched sides, emotions are running high and they escalate into a kiss. the moon is out + it's all very romantic but they don't admit their feelings yet

soon after they go to luna, explain the situation + talk w the other generals/people in charge

henry is sent away on an assignment + is watched closely at first but he proves his loyalty quickly

henry and alex write letters back + forth that turn into love letters 

besides managing correspondence for luna, some of alexs ideas of sneak attacks/stealing supplies help turn the tide of the war andhe also writes to other countries for foreign aid

eventually the colonists win in this huge up start that no one anticipated bc the motherland is known as the most powerful country in the world

he + henry reunite in the capital of once the war is over

alex finishes up his studies + practices law + soon is chosen to be part of the new lawmaking body

things are going pretty well for alex w his legal + political success and his relationship with henry

they dont live together but theyre dating tho no one else knows

alex pretends to be single instead + says he doesn't want to be tied down

it works while he's still in his early 20s but as he gets closer to 30, people start to find it strange + tell him he needs to settle

being married to his work is also not a valid excuse anymore

it turns out alex made quite a few political enemies due to his strong opinions that he always vocalises + can be unwilling to compromise on

they don't like his ideas or more often hate him and hence his ideas too

they look for some dirt on him bc atm he has lunas support which has a lot of sway + decide they need to find out why he hasn't married

they manage to find out about henry + threaten to tell the public

alex is obviously distraught re the consequences personally + politically

so alex and henry discuss what to do 

henry is willing to put alexs political career 1st but firmly explains their relationship can't continue if that's the case

henry gave up his whole life + any possibility of going back to his family so he's not willing to be someone's dirty little secret  

alex doesn't know what to do so he goes to consult luna who he's become very close with over the years

luna is not quite old enough to be his father but he's like an uncle + he always calls alex “kid”, much to alex's annoyance

but alex knows he'll have some good advice

alex + luna end up having a long conversation

like washington luna has always been very vocal abt his regrets re his naivety + desire for glory back in his youth

hes always said that this was his greatest regret in life. but then he tells alex like he had another great regret in life- letting go of the love of his life

alex is surprised bc luna's never mentioned anyone special

“who is she?” 

“he” luna corrects “he was my best friend. we had something a relationship but it was short-lived bc I decided I wanted to join the military + attain glory. i thought thats what i wanted in life. turns out that stuff is meaningless w/o anyone to share it w. nor did I even achieve it. perhaps i did accomplish some things but now in my retirement I have no one by my side. i have found that life is meaningless without love and family.  

“i tried to find my friend to reconnect after all these years even as simply friends but he died in the war. alex, I see many similarities between us. don't make the same mistake that I did, alexander. glory + lasting legacy mean nothing if you're alone in the end

“if you make choices that are motivated by love and family you will be a lot happier”

alex takes his advice even though he kind of hates sort of giving up to his enemies

he decides to choose henry and his own happiness over politics bc in the end he's done a lot of good work and that much is enough

also his enemies probably would try to blackmail him throughout his career if he was doing something against their interests

so he + henry leave the capital and move uptown and the two of them have a quiet retirement + engage in philanthropy for the rest of their lives

separately they've amassed a decent amount of money - henry kept a portion of his inheritance despite being unofficially disowned and alex made a lot of money as a lawyer and then politician

as it turns out alex still has a tangential role in politics when some of his former allies go to him for advice

all in all, alex happy with his final decision to be with henry and step away from politics

the two of them live happy and full lives together