#bc he will also pick fights he is very unlikely to win

[samfordpines]

Thinking about gl!sneeg violence (i think he should commit more)

[lifesteal-headcanons]

The entire server( + friends that I'll list of in another ask) have monthly game nights.

Clown isn't really good at board games or Mario smash or games like that but is amazing at puzzles.

Branzy just mashes buttons and everything works out EXCEPT, if they're playing horror games. He's weirdly good at those. Spot the difference ones?The only one who's good at them(cough wats skip the tutorial's new video on his second channel cough cough)

Squiddo only plays like,,,three games and she plays them for the lore(big fan of game theory)

Ash & reddoons usually play fighting games(against each other)

Planet usually plays whatever bacon and jaron play cause he doesn't really mind. Except dobble. They loves that game.

UNO is banned. This is bc before the ban certain ppl would just end up screaming at each other or fighting)(mostly the siblings)(that's gonna be in another ask)

Monopoly is NOT banned but it's on very thin ice bc some ppl take it too seriously and use ✨ emotional manipulation✨(Kaboodle)

Clown and Squiddo sometimes do fencing-style sword fights. It's a mixed bag of wins bc while Clown is the better fighter he is used to a more unruly fighting style unlike squiddo who does a lot of fencing in her free tme

There's also a. List of rules. It goes like this

1.no murder

2.no throwing the board of a game across the room cause you lost

3.fighting using weapons is prohibited

4.fighting using olive garden bread sticks is,also, prohibited

5.fighting using and kind of sharp/stick like objects is banned

6.you must ask before you start a pillow war

7.tge nerf guns scattered the floor are NOT to be picked up

8. Don't listen ruke number 7

9. This is a waring. if Rekrap, Kaboodle,Ashwag or minute pick up a nerf gun and smile,run

10.Mappic must ask before biting ppl

11.if you bring snacks you are obliged to share,unless it's chips

12. If Zam and Minute bring cookies, everyone is to get and equal amount unless someone doesn't want one and someone else wants one more

13.Spoke and Ashwag are not allowed to start levitating

14.no balloons

15. Clown and Kab are NOT ALLOWED TO PKAY ANY CARD GAMES OR CHESS. IF YOU ALLOW THEM TO PLAY WITH YOU OR AGAINST EACH OTHER, YOU ARE THE SOLE PERSON RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS

.

[baby-tini]

NO BC NOW THAT IM THINKING ABOUT IT.

Realistically, Kantou, Bonten, and Manila are all likely to have some sort of a weapon with them. But, say that maybe somehow they either don’t have their guns or they somehow agreed on a fair fight…I think that it would genuinely come down to it being a drawl. At the MOST, I think racer has the least chance of winning because unlike the other four, he didn’t exactly stay a gangster. Sure he’s still knowledgeable in fighting but I do think that racing probably takes up most of his time, so he isn’t exactly as sharp on his skills as he used to be. Between the other four, I think it’s between Toman and Kantou. Manila is extremely trigger happy and has the rage to fuel his strength but compared to Toman who has more experience due to being older, he’d be sloppy. Bonten probably could still fight but personally I think In his timeline he’s a little more malnourished and doesn’t actually fight like he would in Kantou or Manila.

Okay I have so many thoughts abr this to share with you BUT it’s my anniversary and my wonderful girlfriend requires my attention so!!! I will be taking my leave.

OMG HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU AND YOUR GF!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!! And by all means, you can share any thoughts whenever you want too!!!

I agree with everything you just said tbh, it all makes sense. Street Racer Mikey is very preoccupied with his... street racing, so, he's not worried about fighting and all that, plus he doesn't need too. Most if not all the times Mikey has fought was because he had too. Whether that was too protect his reputation or protect his friends, sure Mikey fights for fun, but most of the time it's for serious reasons, like what happened to Pahs friends, iykyk. I do think Street Racer Mikey can still fight, very well, but I do agree, he's not a kid anymore so he's probably not as sharp when it comes down to it.

With Manila, Kanto and Bonten though? 100% they always have a gun on them, Kanto not as much, but definitely Manila and Bonten. Toman is more a fighting type of guy and not really weaponry, but if he needs too use a gun, he will. I also agree that Manila is very trigger happy and very quick to anger, he's also still very strong, he picked up Takemichi, who's like 125-130ish, and threw him to the floor, no problem. Toman, I can picture, definitely has more experience and is very quick and sharp in combat. Manila is very tunnel-visioned, Kanto is running on dark impulses, so he's extremely dangerous and quick too piss off. Bonten is, like you said, pretty malnourished and very skinny, unlike Toman who has quite a bit of muscle, Bonten doesn't really have any.

I can also see Street Racer Mikey not being as confrontational as his counterparts, don't get me wrong, he'll still fight if he needs too, but he's not as quick too turn to violence, as Kanto, for example. Also the most dangerous thing about Mikey is his dark impulses and Street Racer Mikey doesn't have any, another thing, I'm pretty sure it was said in the anime that Toman\OG Timeline Mikey is the most dangerous because Takemichi never met him, plus he lost Draken, who was the only one that could keep him sane, an anchor for Mikey if you will.

Apologies for my little three paragraph rant, but this idea really has my attention and has me thinking... a lot. Anyway, like I said Happy Anniversary, and thank you for all these juicy, funny little scenarios❤️

[sieglinde-freud]

Can I get you started on the derailment of Duncan and Courtney?

what is this, a total drama vent blog now? but yeah you can :) under cut

i think the derailment of courtney is like five thousand times more annoying than duncan but that might j be bc i dont really like duncan (hes fine in island, kinda boring in action (didnt deserve his win idgaf that shouldve been harold there. yes im still mad lindsay went home instead of him in rock n rule), and the entirety of that mid section of world tour just revolving around him and the stupid love triangle drama is SO annoying. and then he makes final five FOR WHAT??? FOR WHAT???? im sick of his ass. what was i talking about. right) but either way theyre both two very major characters so its just really sad to see them both fall victim to horrible characterization? cuz you start in island right and in general island is a lot more grounded than the other seasons and leans more into the fact that theyre all 2000’s teenage stereotypes so in island theyre just the good ol cliche good girl/bad boy couple its iconic, its cute, WAY more entertaining than gwent (but they get a pass cuz gwen was basically the main character of that season. u go girl. go get that bag AND that boring wet dog man) and its just nice. courtney shows signs of being controlling but for the most part duncan’s attitude gets courtney to loosen up a bit and have fun and courtney made duncan a better person.

and then action happens and then courtney is like. rightfully mad she got screwed out of the season after harold gets her kicked off and no one gaf but its like. you can see where this could go and it doesnt look great. not much happens for duncan except he gets more insufferable bc they didnt give him any friends this season? unlike when he geoff and dj to bounce off of now he just picks fights with harold and the other gaffers which IS funny but. basically action is where the red flags start being put up. their relationship is. fine. like i liked it at the time but knowing where it heads is upsetting. anyways

then u get to world tour and theyre close to their island dynamic again (with the exception of gwen being there…) but then duncan quits first episode which i think was actually a great choice bc of how courtney finally gets to stand on her own as a character without him (i actually really like duncney. but her character was always tied to him in some way yk?) and make her own friends and it was looking great! until i see london and everything goes to shit. dude comes back, cheats on courtney, and then everyone on that god forsaken plane gets involved. first of all, ISLAND DUNCAN WOULD NEVER??? no fucking way. not even action duncan. dude was HOOKED on her crazy ass. AND FOR GWEN?!?! who has never been the same since island but thats a different thing. but they had literally zero romantic chemistry. all they have in common is that theyre both alt kids. NOT EVEN THE SAME KIND OF ALTERNATIVE! just alt. ugh. and then courtney gets sent into a spiral which, is a valid reaction to getting cheated on i do not blame her. and w/ someone you thought was ur friend like i GET IT. and i am on her side. but then her character goes back to ONLY EVER BEING ABOUT DUNCAN except this time its how much she hates him and her character just. pauses! she doesnt go anywhere else from i see london until shes eliminated inn… what was it. chinese fakeout? like shes just a hater who makes zero meaningful relationships aside from getting played by alejandro and shes just. like its just. its not good. and to know that any of this only happened bc the producers forced a duncney break up. girl sit DOWNNN

and then all stars just tramples them even more. since when has duncan ever gave a shit what people think of him? jojo siwa acting ass with this “im a bad boy!1!!!!” act island duncan would never. and then courtney. ohh courtney. she got flushed down a toilet force feeding herself ice cream with bird shit on it. all i gotta say (but also. nerfed bc she literally has an iron stomach in chinese fake out. whatever)

i still love them though. well, i love courtney. duncans alright but still neither of them deserved any of that

[carniferous]

honestly dil i’d pay actual money to ask about every single one of ur wips BUT since i guess i must choose one.. im vvv curious about hey girlypop.. please and thank you <3

laurieeee you flatter me so much ily <33

okay so hey girlypop is actually one of my oldest wips that i still haven't let go of bc i love the concept... will i ever finish? unlikely at this point but who knows. she still gets included <3

so around the time i started writing this i was reading harrow the ninth by tamsyn muir and also dwelling by aideomai both of which deal heavily with altered memories, dreams, and the concept of fandom AUs. from this i got inspired to create smth in this vein with jegulus

the story starts out seemingly as a gryffindor regulus au. regulus is in his first year and he asks the hat to put him in gryffindor. but quickly we start to notice something... off. at first it's just characters pointing out that regulus doesn't act very much like gryffindor which regulus rationalizes by claiming he asked the hat to be put in gryffindor when he wasn't best suited to it. but then as james and regulus start to develop feelings for each other + get together it Escalates and things seem more and more wrong. james makes comments that allude to things that happened in the canon timeline but Not in this timeline and then seems confused as to why he said that. for a snippet, here's the scene where regulus gets picked as gryffindor seeker:

“Frank said he’s picking by tomorrow, so let us know when he gives you the news,” said Sirius. “We’ll do a prank in celebration—a proper Marauders prank!”

“Oh, I should’ve known this was an excuse for a bloody prank,” said Regulus, rolling his eyes.

“Oi, you love the pranks! And it’s not like you ever get caught.”

“That’s because I'm smarter than you.”

“Alright, enough,” James said before Sirius could offer his next retort. “You can fight all you want on the pitch.”

Sirius sighed, “Mate, I can’t exactly fight with my own teammate, can I?” 

A curiously blank look crossed James’s face, gone so quickly that Regulus thought he might have imagined it. “Right,” he said. “Can’t jeopardize our chances at winning the Cup.”

"Can I go now?” Regulus asked sullenly. 

“Who’s stopping you?” Sirius replied. Regulus flipped him off.

He spared a glance over his shoulder as he stalked off towards the showers. He caught James’s eyes and saw, for a second, a flash of confusion before it vanished as he gave a little wave. Regulus waved back, heart stuttering in his chest and thinking of Sirius’s assurances that soon he would get to be in the air with them, together, playing for their House. 

and after they get together it just becomes more and more clear that james's memories of the canon timeline are conflating with his memories of this timeline. at one point later on james and reg are canoodling in james's bed and sirius knocks on the door and james is like Horrified to which regulus is like ? okay i don't want him to see us like this but it's not That serious.... (but like. it was that serious. in a different time). as james starts having more doubts about the world around him he starts questioning certain little things that don't make sense in the world + regulus's memories start to come back but he actively avoids thinking about it bc he Likes this world! he wants to stay here! with james!

anyway i never really settled on an ending but like it was going to be something about regulus surviving the cave, sending a message to sirius, but before they arrive he tries to open the locket and destroy it which pulls him into this dream world. and james tries to wake him up but ends up getting pulled into the dream world too. and then sirius and remus wake them both up and regulus is like "everything was so perfect in that world we can never have that here i can never have you in this world" and james is like "you've always had me" or smth cheesy like that you know me...

[candysharkart]

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT YOUR EVERYBODY RESPAWNS AU VERY BADLY

thank u for your interest :)! sorry this got kinda longwinded i think. i never write stuff down lol…….

okay sooo i basically wanted an excuse to think about jack being alive post-canon, but i figured if u bring back the guy who had it coming its only fair to bring back other characters who should not have beefed it. and so! the best option seemed like the new-U system! i know they're just a game mechanic thats not supposed to be taken literally but if they're not gonna use it i am lol.

(putting all this under a cut)

roland not respawning after jack kills him in bl2 is kinda weird since he defs uses new-Us in bl1, but i could see jack using a jammer or some chump shit to interrupt the process. maya n lilith's deaths happen in ways were i……. get that they wouldnt respawn but their data could be still in the system somewhere. i also think non-vault hunter npc like scooter would have at least fast traveled once (most of the fast travels are also hyperion? i think? they feel like the same tech) so they might also have digistruct data. sometimes the system trips up, or u cant pay the fee ect ect, and u dont respawn, but ur up there! backed up in the damn cloud or some nonsense.

wilhelm, nisha, n aurelia are all perma-killed in canon, but are replayable fights, so TECHNICALLY they kind of are respawning they're just………… stuck. the new-U puts them back together but they cant move on for some reason. some goes for a lot of the other infinitely respawning bosses/enemies.

so the catalyst for this au now that bl3 is out is that post-canon, tannis is training her siren powers by shifting thru hyperion's systems, she decides familiarizing herself with the new-U system might be useful when she uncovers all these backed up and malfunctioning respawns, and realizes that if she just like. refreshes the system, all these people might come back. she consults with the other raiders about her findings, n that she probably COULD pick and choose profiles to revive their friends but not their enemies, but tannis is trying to AVOID playing god these days thank u very much.

ultimately they all want their friends back too much to pass up the opportunity and have tannis go thru with it. everybody respawns!! everybody gets a lot of confused echo-messages!! everybody cries!! the crimson raiders are reunited!!!

(this is the part where i talk abt jack and angel's respawns bc they're. specific.)

jack not respawning at a new-U is kinda weird with the context that he like. owns them? it tracks that he thought he was too good to need them, but hes also very paranoid, so what if he had his set up different? a failsafe in the Very Unlikely Event something happens to him, where instead of the nearest new-U, he's respawned at a station in a saferoom somewhere where he can be in immediate control of the situation again. it also tracks that he was very confident he could keep angel safe, but again. what if the very very worst happens? angel's respawn is set to be something only jack can activate, but he has to do it manually so no one else can get to her first. his ego was too big to see any flaws with this!

he doesnt think about the chance that something happening to angel while she's so deeply ingrained in hyperion's systems might mess stuff up. so when she dies, the saferoom goes dark, and jack's too far gone to notice. he's going to win the day and revive his daughter into the better, safer world he's going to build. this does not happen, he dies and his data has no new-U to go to so it just sits there. until tannis resets the system, which powers his saferoom up and spits him out. a new-U glitch he didnt care enough about to have anyone patch interrupts the reconstruction process and he loses his arm to it. he manages enough first aid to not just die again, and finally respawns angel, hoping she'll help him.

after respawning, once angel is able to get her bearings, she's devastated by the idea that jack won, but quickly realizes he DIDNT and he's very hurt and weak right now and this is her CHANCE. but she cant bring herself to kill him she wants to so badly but she just. cant go through with it. but she sure as shit can pistol whip him, collar him, and march him straight to the crimson raiders. once she finds them.

(there are some other specifics we have about this au, and lots we havent figured out yet but this post is already so long im sorry……..)

[aequlinks]

genshin x reader smaus i recommend <3

i think it’s about time i did this in case anyone asked me about smaus i am interested in or if you are looking for something to read:] i will be listing their titles, summary, and what i like! these are just the ones i’ve seen (or remembered).

good 4 u by @ilkuni — a xiao smau

lesson learned! never challenge hu tao when you’re drunk bc you’ll just lose and now you have to post a thread of all your exes as songs from olivia rodrigo’s hit debut album sour … or: “yn desperate much!” “yn still loves xiao? yikes! doesnt he already have someone new?” “stop ruining my relationship u bitch!”

i’m sure we all know this one by now HAHA rosie is one of the genshin smau writers i have seen that’s been here as long as me by now

i actually was really interested in this one because it was an exes to lovers, and you all know how it’s one of my favorite tropes hehe

it was very interesting because there was foreshadowing here and there and the plot kept progressing without being confusing

10 things i hate about you by @x-xxiaos — a xiao smau

after breaking up with his since-high school-girlfriend, xiao made a long list of things he should and hated her for, so he won’t fall for her again in case name tries to enter his life once again. for five long years, xiao did a great job at keeping name off of his mind, but what would he do if she suddenly shows up at his door, asking him to work with her?

i’ve actually never watched our beloved summer where this is based off of, i first thought it was the movie because i remember there was one like that

this is also an exes to lover so i really loved it HAHAHA eyn update when /lh

i like how xiao kept deflecting it and yn kept going but this is for my job i don’t like you anymore, the dynamic was fun

i think he knows by @daixuki — a xiao smau

you’ve liked him since the first time you saw him perform in your school’s battle of the bands. so you do what any normal girl with a crush does: send him cheesy pick-up lines through a dummy account. he never replies. until now.

funny how angel told me she wanted to write a smau bc of me and my anons and now she’s writing one t_t so YAY

this is the first one here that’s not an exes to lovers but a my friend likes you but you don’t know so i’m going to help her secretly

it also gives space for angst because dayum what if xiao is conflicted i love it

someone you like by @rrinsluvr — a xiao smau

even after two years, she still hasn’t moved on. all hope was lost until he sent her a text.

this one is during the pandemic so it makes sense why it’s a smau right HAHA unlike mine where they literally meet each other and still text t__t nothing i just found it adorable that way

the way there’s a kazuha leading man vibes here too makes me ueue because i love kaed

i think xiao is on point here or it’s just me but i really love the way he’s portrayed here

still have my heart by @luvinelysia — a kazuha smau

IN WHICH, kazuha’s friend gets into a fight with one of your friends OR IN WHICH, two exes meet due to being involved in a fight with their friends

right off the bat, yessss bc i have a cameo HAHA but my title won for this so you guys should check this out because there’s conflict here OH and this is an exes to lovers

also ely shows us salty kazuha here so if you like that then feel free to read this one because i actually like salty kaed

and that there’s a side of a xiao x reader here so <3 ok i forgot this was a kazuha smau ely really needs to make xiao stop flirting with me

21 days by @v3nicee — a childe smau

after being busy with their priorities, ajax and [y/n]’s relationship went downhill. 4 years after that incident happened their path crossed again, and now ajax pleaded for 21 days to win her back.

exes to lovers world domination because this is an exes to lovers smau HAHAHA one of the best tropes i swear

i like how childe is portrayed in this one and that he actually makes time for yn instead of being an ass and not trying to win her back

oh and the whole aether as the second lead part makes me cry because i am weak i love my twins yall i hope that we don’t keep friendzoning him..

lowkey by @ilkuni — an ayato smau

it was only recently you found out kamisato ayaka was, in fact, not an only child after all! seeing ayato for the first time gave you the severest case of the butterflies but according to ayaka, he’s off limits, especially to you as her most treasured friend. well, what she doesn’t know won’t hurt, right?

when rosie dropped this i was excited because i have never seen anyone attempting to make an ayato smau, partially me as well with a long fic because i’m not sure i’ll be able to play him out

the plot sounded good because i love those lowkey secret relationships IN FICS not irl i can’t do that sorry i’m loud irl i’d blabber my mouth

not the way i was caught in a chokehold with the recent updates of chapters 20 and beyond because of the arranged marriage

raised the bar by @skaramush — a scaramouche smau

yn thought she finally escaped the perpetual doom of placing 2nd after she graduated high school. but alas! the leaderboard has her name printed under another’s! a name she thought she’d never get to see again. better luck next time, i guess.

i haven't actually caught up with the updates in a while but i like the academic rivals to lovers trope

one of the lines i liked was when kuni found out yn was studying for a long time?

i alike that kuni isn't too offputting or too mean which many portray him to be as

f#cking bastard by @scarahours — a scramouche smau

getting off wasted at a party wouldn’t hurt right? that’s what college life is for - you study, eat, sleep and repeat. probably do something batshit once or twice. but who would ever know, it wouldn’t hurt right? so why do you suddenly find the social reject’s lips pressed against yours?

i don't think i've caught up with this one in a while but i like that diluc is portrayed as the ex because i haven't seen that yet

i like that the plot is unpredictable because i really didn't expect kuni knows yn

oh i also like that even if diluc chased after yn, she didn't agree HAHA

i think that's really all there is to this post! i might add in a few more smaus should i ever find some more:]

[charlesleclerc1]

i mostly lurk on f1blr, but i think i’m starting to grasp how it works:

god i hate maks v*rstappen. how dare he be born to jos verstappen and not disown the man who raised him and funded his whole career. pathetic. let’s never forget that JEV and daniil lost their seats bc of him. wait -- JEV, how? i don’t know, but i’m sure it was maks’ fault. what’s even worse is that he held alex albon’s psyche hostage. there’s just no way that alex could possibly appreciate the support that rb has shown him or consider m^x a friend - nope, either alex has stockholm syndrome or he’s a talentless twat. m*x even managed to brainwash seb, because seb couldn’t possibly have rooted for him over lewis. lando doesn’t count, that muppet is belgian just like m** (yes, did you know that maks is fake dutch!??). i haven’t even started with his crimes against charles. what do you mean charles picked maks to win? impossible, m*x’s cruelty towards charles must have broken his mind as well. there’s just no possible way that charles might actually enjoy driving on the edge with his childhood rival.

and no i’m not gonna call him by his simple three-letter name. he is and always will be maks or &*# or he who must not be named. anyways so maks voldemort is also causing the sport to die. i don’t believe the record viewer numbers and zandvoort is just a void in space-time bc m*x is rapidly killing our sport. anyways while f1 crumbles to its inevitable demise, i’m gonna harass latifi and his gf. why? because christian horner told me to. yes that’s right, christian very specifically instructed me to behave like a moronic asshole.

let’s also talk about why m@x doesn't deserve the wdc. first he actually followed track limits in bahrain (what a fuckin’ loser) unlike his wdc rival. then he  got lucky for the rest of the season. what do you mean his tire blew up in baku, he got taken out in silverstone (lmfao), got taken out again by bowling ball bottas, and as a result had to take an engine penalty for sochi? LUCK -- all examples of LUCK! i don't give a fuck that he led 652 laps vs his wdc rival’s 303, led for 15 out of 22 races, had 18 podiums despite 3 DNFs, 10 pole positions, and an average finish of 1.89 compared to lewis' 2.80. nope -- clearly one tiny decision from helmut’s fuckboy masi made the ONLY difference over the whole season. actually nvmd, it’s all bc of checo, that spineless tit and his dangerous driving bc how dare he not simply roll over and die and let lewis past without a fight. look at how rb abuses their second driver. checo’s so replaceable they brought a cardboard cutout of him to celebrate with at the factory. now bottas -- that’s how you properly treat a second driver. so in conclusion, i’m gonna tell all maks fans that they are racist. proof? there’s lots but i’m not gonna show you.

👆🏼anyways i hope i got all of that correct. i couldn’t possibly be insane.

[blednokrov]

Idk why but here are some random medieval OCs: a stable boy Finnian, his mother - castle head laundress Nonna, and his sworn enemy scullery maid Aeska

More info under the cut

Finnian (ppl usually call him just Fin) is a stable boy in a feudal castle; his main duties are shoveling shit, cleaning stables, feeding horses and so on.

He's a quite naughty little shit - he loves stuff like cruel pranks and overall screwing with people here and there; if you see him quietly smirking trying his best not to start giggling you can bet someone is having a bad day.

He's only doing small stuff like smearing someone's shoes with horseshit or stealing and hiding clothes of someone bathing or casually putting his shovel in someone's way so that they stumble and fall, or "accidentally" pouring dirty horse water on someone passing by the stables; also he's only picking up on other kid servants who can't really do anything about it, on those who are too meek and shy to hit back... Or those who are dumb enough to not realize it's him, or on those who will feel ashamed go telling on a stable boy humiliating them.

Fin is around 14-15, and he's actually hard of hearing: when he was a young boy he fell under the ice trying to cross the river and nearly drowned. Cold water caused him fall sick and he partially lost hearing in both of his ears.

Unlike many deaf people of middle Ages who were born deaf, he partially lost his hearing later in life so he isn't what medieval people would consider "mute", since he has fully developed speech - though it deteriorated quite a bit through the years of hearing loss. Even though he can speak, he avoids doing so bc others not understanding what he's saying due to his deaf accent, or straight up laughing at his "weird" speech frustrates him a lot.

Fin was a very late child: his mother is in her fifties now and gave birth to two soldiers before having Fin. Nonna is a head laundress, the one behind bedsheets and shirts and braies being crisp and clean. She's very demanding, and if she deems the work of her washerwomen not good enough (which is almost always the case) she will make them re-do the laundry... Washerwomen both hate and respect Nonna (she can be quite scary).

Even though they both live in the castle, Fin lives separate from his mother, sleeping in servants barracks in backyard with other stable and servant boys, and his mother lives in the back chambers of the kitchens where many of female servants are. She still catches Fin in the yard from time to time to make him blow his nose or comb his hair, or drag him to bathe, or just generally scold him; fights between him and his mother often ensue, since he's a violent aggressive boy a she's a physically very strong woman (she usually wins, but he sometimes kicks her well enough to escape).

Aeska is a 12-13-yo scullery maid at the castle's kitchen and Fins sworn enemy.

They're at the constant fight with each other, he especially hates her for going and straight up telling on him to the adults every time he picks up on her - she's not even hesitating, just immediately snitching on him. When he has an opportunity, he always tries to "teach her a lesson" to not snitch, but only ends up punished because she tells on him anyway.

[adorerdraco]

Not My Type (Like You) ✧ Draco x Reader

Request: you should like do a one shot or even another mini series about amortentia/love potions in general. i’d soooo read that

AU SEVENTH YEAR WHERE VOLDY NEVER CAME BACK <3 f**k that mf !

italics are for flashbacks <3 i love them if you couldn’t tell 

Warnings: mean!draco, cursing, more mature themes/ideas, little bit of spice towards the end teehee but not too much bc idk how to write smut to save my life

Words: 4.5K

A/N: I saw a tiktok that kinda inspired this and i couldn’t get the idea out of my heaaaad if anyone knows which one im talking ab send it my way so i can show !!!! ALSO I LOVE THIS ONESHOT I LOVE DRACO AND I AM IN MY FEELINGS this might be my new favoriteeeee

Draco Malfoy was insufferable.

The Prince of Slytherin was unbearable for many reasons, things you've been taking notice of since your first year at Hogwarts when you accidentally had the ”pleasure” of interacting with him when he called you stupid in a class for reciting a spell incorrectly. That day, a hostility blossomed. A hostility that ensued nothing but teasing, mocking, and criticizing that would sometimes go too far and you'd both have to be pulled away from each other by your friends’ before either of you said anything excessively harsh that had no return.

You often felt like Malfoy sought you out to bother you and only for that. You could be sitting in the Quad with friends, conversing and laughing like nothing in the world mattered, and a few minutes later you'd be hurling insults towards the blond across the courtyard after he would yell something infuriating to you with that smug smirk on his face and his goons laughing wildly beside him as if he just said the most hilarious thing they've ever heard. 

On the days you’d ignore him, not having the patience or the energy to deal with him, he would still somehow find a way to push your buttons. Little things here and there like passing you in the corridors and tugging at the ends of your hair gingerly like a child but enough to tick you off or sending you notes from across the class in the form a small fluttering bird with a lousy drawing of you usually with a message along the lines of, “Y/L/N, hopefully, this note finds itself in the nest of hair you have today xx DM.”

In all honesty, there wasn’t a day you didn’t encounter Draco and it’s been that way for seven long years. Neither of you ever gotten tired of mildly or spitefully bullying each other and neither of you ever dreamed of stopping. He was one of the few constants in your daily life, and you in his. It was like you both lived on annoying the other, and in the midst of all the chaos that you brought to one another; there was a small, teeny, tiny acquaintance - not that either of you would ever admit it. You may have noticed it the time you bet each other ten galleons for who would win in the Triwizard Tournament your fourth year and he bet on Viktor Krum while you on Cedric Diggory. (he’s very much alive i refuse to think otherwise.)

“So you’re telling me, your mother is the reason why you’re not at Durmstrang,” you scoffed. “This whole time I could have been saved four years of headaches.”

“You’re just jealous some of us have more opportunities than others,” he snarks back pompously. “Unlike you, I hardly believe you would be graceful enough to even be considered admission into Beauxbatons.”

You had gone to see the last task of the competition just like the rest of the schools, all packed tightly onto the stands and watching carefully the exit of the maze. Naturally, you had arrived with your own friend groups, but somewhere during the time of sitting there and even being a few rows behind the blond and his minions, the two of you had met in the middle bench after he was trying to prove something wrong to you. 

When Cedric appeared back in front of the stands with the glowing Triwizard cup held high over his head in victory and every Hogwarts student loudly celebrating, you had jumped up from your seat and shook wildly an irked Draco beside you. He roughly shrugged your hands off his stiff shoulder, looking up at you with a sneer that you met with a bright beaming smile.

“Pay up, Malfoy!” You held out your hand towards him, opening and closing your fingers to receive the bet money. “I believe it was ten galleons you owe me.”

He begrudgingly reached into his coat pocket and fished out the coins, counting them defeatedly before tossing them into your palm. “What a waste of galleons.”

“Hey, you made the bet,” you reminded him with a still very bright smile. You shoved the money into your pockets, keeping one of the gold coins in between your fingers, and gave him a small hair ruffle that he harshly recoiled from before you turned to jump back up towards the level of stands your friends were originally sitting at.

“Were you really sitting with Malfoy this whole time?” One of your friends questioned when you reached them, a goading smirk on his face.

“Ooooh, she definitely was,” another friend piped up, wiggling her eyebrows. “They’re obsessed with each other.”

“Shut up,” you smack her arm casually, showing the pair the one gold galleon you were holding. “We are not. I was only sitting with him to get my bet money.”

“Sure,” they drawled in unison, sniggering when you threw your head back in annoyance.

You looked down the rows to see the mop of white hair you just sent into disarray. He was slowly descending the stairs of the stands with Crabbe and Goyle following closely behind him. Almost as if he felt your eyes on his back, he turned back to look at you, his cold gray eyes gazing into yours. It was like everything around you went quiet, the only thing in your focus was him and all you could do was stare back. It wasn’t until your friends started stifling laughter and whispering “aww’s” that you snapped out of the short-lived and odd few second trance you were in. He waited for you to do something before he turned back around, and you did - by holding up both hands; the one golden galleon on your left and your middle finger on your right, grinning to yourself when he rolled his eyes throwing you the finger right back before he finally disappeared into the mob of people below.

You were briskly walking down the corridors, books held tightly to your chest with your friend at your side while you made your way to Advanced Potions with Slughorn after Snape finally made his way into the DADA position. It was an easy class, potions being something you had a knack for and it gave you enough leisure to mess with your “favorite” Slytherin who shared it with you. 

“Look there goes your boyfriend,” your friend teases, elbowing your upper arm roughly and nodding her head down towards the hall to the tall blond appearing around the corner and entering swiftly into the class.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” you hiss. “I’m tired of everyone saying that. I hate him and he hates me, end of story.”

“You know when you say you hate him, it just sounds like the opposite,” she says tauntingly. “Besides, hate is a strong word and very misplaced. Maybe, it’s just years of built-up tension that both of you have been too nervous to do anything about.”

“Tension? Yeah, I want to strangle him,” you laugh to yourself at the thought.

“Not that tension, idiot,” she shakes her head, “I mean sexual tension...clearly.”

You gave her a horrified look mixed between being disgusted and being offended. You held your hand over your mouth and pretended to gag as dramatically as you could. “I am appalled that you would even say that. I would rather be locked in a room with Filch and Peeves and hear them argue and fight all day than to be with Malfoy like that.”

“Come on, think about it,” she encourages, stopping the two of you a little ways away from the classroom. “You guys 'hate' each other?” She finger quotes the hate, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. “When you hate someone, you don’t go out of your way to talk to them every day.”

“It’s not like that,” you wave a hand dismissively. “Also, this isn’t a cliche, this is real life. We hate each other, that is all there is to it.”

You picked up the walk again, your friend to following behind you while letting out a deep and exhausted sigh. You couldn’t help but think about what she said, sure, perhaps at one point you thought Draco was attractive with his bright silver hair, his glittering gray eyes, his little button nose that he would crinkle up every other word he spoke in his charming haughty voice, or the way he’d tower over you in the middle of a conversation gone wrong and he’d be talking lowly to you but all you’d be able to focus on was the sweet scent of apples and cologne that radiated off of him.

“No,” you whispered almost silently to yourself, forcing yourself out of your thoughts and shaking your head from side to side as if it was going to get the image out of your head. He was mean, disrespectful, arrogant, and insulted you daily - even if you both laughed about it or gave props for the perfect jabs.

The first thing your eyes landed on when you walked into the dingy Potions classroom was Draco, his focus trained on the ceiling as if he was deep in thought. Just as his eyes were about to flicker down towards you, and sensing that he was about to, you quickly avoided his gaze and concentrated onto Slughorn who was waiting patiently by his desk with a bubbling cauldron for you and your friend to join the crowd in front of him.

“Great! Now that we’re all here,” Slughorn began excitedly, fixing the sleeves of his robes as he grabbed the ladle in the cauldron and began stirring it while continuing his lecture. 

You were trying to listen, capturing only the professor’s last sentence as he called on someone who raised their hand. All attention was thrown out the window when you realized Draco was standing near said classmate, a look of annoyance suddenly clouding his features when his pale eyes met yours.

“What?” He mouthed. You ignored him, trying to turn your concentration back onto Slughorn but nothing he was saying made sense, and right as you caught a word you did understand, a shuffling and an abrupt arm knocking into yours threw you right back out of the loop.

“Watch it,” you snap hushedly when you notice who it is. “Why are you over here?”

“I can’t say hello to my number one fan?” He whispers back, snickering slightly when you scoffed quietly.

“Fan? Says the one who shoved his way through the crowd to come over here,” you grumble, crossing your arms. 

“I hardly shoved,” he mutters. “I only moved because I couldn’t see Slughorn from where I was standing. Not everything’s about you.”

“Really? Because to me, it seemed like you came over here for my attention.”

He let out a breathy chuckle, a patronizing smile making its way onto his face. The type of typical boy smile where his mouth is half agape with his tongue smoothing over his teeth as he stared off across the room with his fingertips rubbing thoughtfully against his jawline as he thought of what to say. You stood still as he bent down, nearing his mouth towards your ear and whispering hotly, “you wish, darling.”

Slughorn sent everyone to their paired tables, and as everyone began moving and Draco sauntered off away from you, you stood stuck there, shocked with the lingering chills that were sent down your spine from your archnemesis’ comment.

“I told you, you’re into each other,” your friend sang expectantly from behind you, grabbing onto your sleeve and directing the two of you towards your table. 

You were working peacefully at your workspace, cutting up, peeling, and crushing the ingredients that your friend was sliding across the surface to you. In the table behind you was where Draco was working annoyingly quiet, tossing the stripped stems of the roses at you that you had to peel, tiny thorns pricking at your ankles through your socks since the bigger thorns had been taken off for the potion. As payback, you would throw back loose extra pearl dust you ground up, giggling tauntingly when he would frown at you for getting the coarse white powder all over his Italian leather shoes and most definitely inside of them as well.

When you, and seemingly the rest of the class, had finally thrown in all the ingredients and the potion promptly finished brewing, beautiful clouds of white and pink smoke began rising from the cauldrons, each one having a lovely scent of first; freshly pressed high-priced linens, then a faint smell of a brand new racing broom out of a box with a freshly polished wood handle that then quickly transformed into a sweet harvest of apples, green specifically, and finally...

“Ugh, gross,” you pinched your nostrils closed, turning your body around and sending a scowl towards Draco’s way. “Malfoy, we get it, your cologne is expensive, now stop spraying it. I was smelling all these wonderful things and you ruined it.”

He arched an eyebrow at you, looking at you as if you were crazy. “Are you mad? I didn’t spray anything, I think you’ve finally lost it.”

“Well you laid it on too heavy this morning then, it reeks in here.”

“You’re one to talk, Y/L/N. Did you bathe yourself in that dreadful perfume you wear just now? And that ghastly lip shiner thing you use,” He sneers, crinkling up his nose. “I can’t even think straight, I might vomit.”

“Lip shiner? It’s called lip balm, you prat,” you retort, crossing your arms angrily. “Either way, I haven’t used or sprayed anything either so-”

“For Merlin’s sake!” Your friend suddenly exasperated loudly from beside you making you briskly whirl around to look at her, a look of pure annoyance etched onto her face. “Are you two really that daft? Honestly? Have you been paying attention to anything other than each other? For instance, the potion we just made?”

This gained the attention of your classmates around you in the surrounding tables, turning their heads slightly but not obviously with small knowing smirks on their faces while they snickered quietly and listened. It was soundless as you reached towards the book in front of your friend, pulling it painstakingly slow towards you in fear of the words that were written on the open page.

“Amortentia,” you muttered glumly as you read the page, pushing it away from you dejectedly as everything began to click.

“The reason you’re both smelling each other is because you’re what the other desires and is attracted to. Wow, what a revelation! As if the whole school didn’t already know.”

You were afraid to turn around. You could feel the cold and hard pair of eyes burning holes onto your back and the immediate amount of whispers and giggles of the people around you. Luckily, Slughorn was busy at the other end of the room, working diligently with another pair of students who managed to mess up their potion. 

“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard,” Draco announces finally.

“What’s so ridiculous about it?” You questioned, your heart falling to the pit of your stomach when you turned again and took notice of the way his lips were curling upwards as if it was the most disgusting thing he could have ever heard.

“Think about it, Y/L/N,” he deadpans. “Why would I ever desire someone like you?”

There had been occasions over the years when you were in this situation. None as drastic and as revealing, but there would be times when friends and others would poke fun and say the exact same thing your friend told you earlier. The usual, “they got the hots for each other!” and you would always brush it off and joke about how you could never, and he’d do the same. It was always amongst laughs and jokes, but as you looked at the Slytherin in front of you - there wasn’t a hint of amusement on his hardened face.

“Piss off, Malfoy,” you seethed, biting down hard on your lip to refrain from lashing out either in tears or in insults, you couldn’t decide. “If I’m so revolting, leave me alone from now on, I mean it.”

“I never said that,” he argues. “You’re just simply not my type.”

For some eerie, awful reason, the words tore into you like a sharpened knife going easily through butter. You were used to his insults, his mocking, his comments about your appearances - but this hurt, and you couldn’t explain why. You thought, for a second, possibly, that maybe your friend was right. Maybe there was a hidden attraction you had for the platinum blond that you buried deep away and one that he had for you. There was no way that was the case now, not at all. 

And for the first time in your life, you couldn’t be more sure of a simple little fact.

You hated him.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 

You don’t know how long you spent sitting in Moaning Myrtle’s bathroom, back against the cold tiled wall with your knees brought up to your chest. Your friends had tried to console you after the public rejection and humiliation, but their words only made you feel worse. You felt silly for being so bothered about being rejected by Malfoy, he wasn’t exactly someone you fancied, to begin with.

After dinner, you went off the grid and found yourself where you’re now sitting. The ghostly girl flew restlessly around you, popping out of her stall now and then to chat but then going back into her abyss of nothing when she learned you were still upset. You noticed it made her a little too pleased, considering the fact it was always her who was miserably wailing about her problems in the bathroom. She tried to hide it and let you talk to her about how you felt, but she gave terrible advice most of the time. 

“Well, if it was me, I would have never started fancying someone who was mean to me,” she mumbled. “Like when Paul Wighorn made fun of my hair for a whole year and laughed when I cried. I hated his guts then and I still do now.”

She had a point, but she was also Myrtle. Nothing about the overly dramatic ghost made sense.

“I don’t fancy him, It’s just weird,” you trail off. “I can’t imagine a day without him, even if he is a complete arse. We always joked about how we hated each other, but I didn’t think he actually meant it, I guess.”

“I think you do fancy him, though,” she whispers knowingly in your ear, making you flinch from her cold draft. “Stop denying it, it’ll only keep making you feel worse. Amortentia doesn’t lie, silly. Maybe when you drink it, but before that, all real feelings are there, whether you know it or not.”

You sat quietly, taking in her words before something came crashing down onto you like a wall of bricks.

“I suppose that means he’ll have to stop denying it too,” she adds thoughtfully. 

“Myrtle,” you rush to get up, smoothing your hair down profusely and fixing the wrinkles in your clothes. “You’re a genius.”

“I am?” She asks excitedly. “What did I say?”

You waved her off, giving her another thank you before rushing out of the bathroom and into the empty corridors. You were trying to go back to your dorm to sleep, hoping that when tomorrow came you would be bold enough to confront the Slytherin Prince but it was thirty minutes past curfew, something you didn’t notice until you were bustling down the steps in a rush and came face to face with the man of the hour himself doing his Prefect patrolling duties.

“Go to your dorm, Y/L/N,” he sneers. “I’ll take away house points, don’t test me,”

“I don’t believe you.”

“That I’ll take away house points? Watch me. Five-”

“No, you twat,” you groan, swatting his arm with your hand. “I don’t believe that I’m not your type.”

He stayed wordless for a moment, biting the inside of his cheeks and clenching his jaw as he peered down at you from his lanky height. “Why not?”

“Because I didn’t think you were my type until the amortentia made me aware of it,” you answer quietly. “Actually, my friend had a hand in it, but it was mostly the potion.”

Silence, again. Still and deadly. You could hear the large clocks around the school tick and tock, the hundreds of paintings snoring peacefully or chattering quietly. You avoided looking up at the boy in front of you, all of a sudden feeling small under his gaze until you felt cold fingers brush against your cheekbone and then softly through your hair causing you to finally look up into the soft wandering almost blue eyes. 

“I didn’t find out with the amortentia,” he muttered almost reluctantly as if it was the most difficult thing he had to reveal. “I’ve known I’ve liked you for a while.”

“How long is a while?” You curiously wonder aloud.

“I’m not telling,” he smirks. “Perhaps you’ll figure it out one day.”

Both hands came up to rest on your cheeks, slightly cold but soft and tender. It sent chills throughout your body as he took a step closer to you and then closer, backing you carefully into the diagonally ascending stone wall that went in the direction of the stairs. Your breathing was getting uneven, you noticed the way you accidentally switched to manually forcing yourself to inhale and exhale normally when he leaned down with his face now being mere centimeters from yours. It was torture, having your eyes closed and feeling the way his nose was brushing against yours, minty breath warm against your lips as he ghosted over them with his. He was so close, you smelt everything that was in the damn potion that got you here. It sent flutters of warmth down your body, trickling down and seeping deeply into every bone in your body as if this is was the remedy its been needing. This is what you’ve been missing.

When you finally felt a soft pair of lips being pressed into yours, it felt almost unreal that you were there. It was awkward the first couple of seconds, both of you wondering how in the world had you gotten yourselves in this position, but after you relaxed and he found his Prince of Slytherin confidence - it was magic. His lips moved languidly against yours, affectionately and full of longing. He kept his hands on your cheeks, still timid to move anywhere else while you kept yours resting lightly on his sides. It scared you a little, how fast and how easily you melted into each other, like if this was something you’ve been doing with him for years rather than torment the other for laughs. 

You hated the feeling when he pulled away, a gust of freezing castle air passing through the space between you and cooling your lips and face from his contact. His hands dropped down to his sides and he looked down at you with a small smile, a teeny bit smug, but happy. You wanted to feel the same way, but a question still loomed over your head, overpowering the giddiness you were vividly feeling.

“Why did you lie earlier?” You question softly, directing your gaze to the floor. “In class, I mean.”

He thought about his answer for a second, sighing deeply when he realized he had to uncover more truths about himself to you. You took a mental observation at that, he didn’t like to talk about feelings. “You didn’t say anything. Didn’t even look at me. I thought I’d beat you to it and reject you before you could reject me.”

“What made you think I’d reject you?” You coaxed. “Other than the fact that I made you a sworn enemy at eleven.”

“Exactly that,” he laughed lightly. “You’re unpredictable, Y/N.”

You smiled to yourself at the realization that he finally used your first name. “So are you, Draco.”

“Not really,” he grins. “Like in just a few moments, for example, I’m going to start snogging you.”

You opened your mouth to encourage him but shut it quickly when he closed the space between the two of you again, this time much closer than he was before. He was flush against you, and when you say you could feel everything; you could feel everything. You were almost begging for him to lean down and kiss you again by the time you felt his hands on you again, running delicately around the exposed skin of your hips when your shirt hiked up an inch on accident. He leaned down again, and with the advantage of his lowered height, you let your hands slide up his arms, biceps, and ultimately the nape of his neck where your fingers continued up into his hair. The breathiest gasp escaped his throat as you tugged at the ends gently, smirking to yourself when he closed his eyes in delight at the touch.

His lips came down onto your fast this time and hastily, pressing himself impossibly closer into you. You could feel his grip tighten against your hips, his hold moving upwards onto your waist as he continued to kiss you fervently. His teeth bit down softly on your bottom lip and you wasted no time in parting them slightly for his tongue to meet yours. You tugged at the platinum strands of hair again, feeling triumphant when a low groaning sound emitted from his throat at the sensation as he tilted his head to deepen the kiss further.

You knew you were done for when one of his hands slowly slid up your upper body, stopping first at your collarbones with warm fingertips fluttering over the skin, before he moved it upwards completely and he now had his large hand wrapped comfortably around your neck. You gasped in delight into the kiss, a swarm of butterflies going directly to your lower stomach as he squeezed against the artery in your neck meticulously, the coldness from his Malfoy family crest ring only adding fuel to the fire. He tore his mouth away from yours with his hand still clutched firmly around your throat and you were almost sent into orbit with the look he was giving you. A look filled with desire, adoration, and intensity - his pale gray eyes were much darker, almost a dark blue that resembled the starry night sky on a summer night.

Lips reattached themselves roughly and feverishly against your jawline, peppering long and tender kisses all the way towards your ear and then down towards your collarbones where he was beginning to undo the rest of the top buttons of your school dress shirt. You felt him smile against your hot skin when you’d writhe underneath him, emitting weak whimpers that you couldn’t hold back that he ended up having to clasp a free hand over your mouth as he whispered into your ear to stay quiet.

It didn’t matter that you were in the middle of a poorly lit corridor where anyone could walk past and see the frenzy that was unfolding, nor did it matter to Draco that his Prefect duties were long forgotten. Your friend was right, and everyone else for that matter; it wasn’t hate you felt for the blond at all, it was years and years of a craving and a hidden yearning packed with displaced tension.

And now, you were both exactly where you wanted to be; together.

[genshin-impact-imagines]

✨How they wake you up in the morning✨

Featuring: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli, Xiao, Childe/Tartaglia & Beidou!! (Basically my favs)

Diluc

Normally: Diluc gets up early in the mornings, but never wakes you up until you need to be. Mornings with him would be gentle, since Diluc doesn’t show affection in public he’s always extra affectionate when you’re alone. Diluc would give you kisses on your face, neck and shoulder to wake you, while he’s holding you tight.

To be sweet: Morning cuddles!! Diluc would stay in bed rather than get up, he’d allow himself to relax with you in his embrace. When you two get up, he’d cook you breakfast while you hug him from behind. Mornings like this are his favourite.

In a emergency: Diluc throws your blanket on the floor and proceeds to tickle you. It’s a win-win for him, not only do you snap awake, but he gets to hear you laughing early morning.

To be a pain: Look, Diluc hates being mean to you. But when you’re not getting out of bed and you're both getting late and he’s at his wits end, he’ll go and grab water to spray at you. Don’t even try to get mad at him, he did warn you multiple times.

Kaeya

Normally: Also gets up early in the morning. Kaeya is a busy person but he always makes the time to wake you up every morning without fail. He’d be sweet, gently waking you up. Kaeya savours these soft moments in the morning, but he’d also tease you a lot because of your sleepy face. (He finds it adorable)

To be sweet: Gets you flowers/snacks, cooks you breakfast and snuggles you all morning. He goes all out, since he can’t do this often for you he always wants to make sure you know how much he loves you. Also very, very affectionate.

In a emergency: Kaeya turns the lights on and if you try to block out the light he’d grab your hands so you can’t. You’re forced to wake up in the worst way possible, and honestly he can’t help but chuckle at your face.

To be a pain: Makes loud noises. I can picture him singing really loud and banging pans together. He’d also be chanting “Get up y/n” over and over again until you get up.

Zhongli

Normally: Aaaa Zhongli is so sweet when he wakes you up in the morning. He’d gently shake you awake while whispering your name, giving you soft kisses once you stir awake. Mornings with him would be very relaxing, Zhongli would always have tea and breakfast ready for you. Overall 1000/10 he can wake me up any day.

To be sweet: This man is always sweet, he drinks his respect juice. But on those days where he’s feeling extra affectionate, he would hold you close to him, letting you sleep in a little more. He’d stare so lovingly at you, thinking how grateful he is to have you in his life.

In an emergency: Listen, Zhongli is a calm and collected man, but when it comes to an emergency and you’re not waking up.. bet he’d just pick you up and sling you over his shoulder. His head is empty, must get you safe first. Honestly he wouldn’t even think twice about it too.

To be a pain: Never. He’d never be a pain to you, especially in the mornings, even if you absolutely refuse to get up.

Xiao

Normally: Xiao would whisper your name repeatedly and if that doesn’t work then he’d start shaking you. Mornings with Xiao are quiet, but he’d always ask you how you slept and if you needed anything. Cuddles in the morning are not common at the beginning of your relationship, but as time goes on Xiao learns to love morning snuggles.

To be sweet: Xiao would get your favourite flowers for you. (If you’re allergic to flowers then he’d get your favourite snack). He’d still wake you up like he usually would, but Xiao would show more affection. Also when you realise he got your favourite flowers/snacks he blushes profusely.

In a emergency: Doesn’t even hesitate to pick you up and get you to safety first. He’d set you down gently before going off to deal with the problem that was caused. Don’t worry tho, he’d always come back to you quickly.

To be a pain: Believe it or not, Xiao is gentle with his s/o because he’s scared to hurt them. The most he would do is just drag you off the bed, everytime by your ankles. Good luck if you have ticklish feet, he won’t spare you.

Childe/Tartaglia

Normally: Childe would tell you to get up while he’s still half asleep cuddling next to you, gently shaking you while mumbling “Get up.” Honestly neither of you would ever get up this way, so that’s why y’all brought alarm clocks. (Good luck fighting with him about who’s going to turn it off, you placed it at the other end of the room so you’re forced to get up).

To be sweet: Ugh he’d be so sweet. Childe would actually get out of bed first to attempt to cook your favourite meal and drink. When he walks back into the bedroom he’d be happily humming proud of himself, while you eat he'll hold you close and occasionally steal some bites.

In a emergency: Hits his pillow at you. He’d do it gently because obviously he doesn’t want to hurt you but he does use some force. Instead of you two leaving for the emergency you sometimes end up having a pillow fight.

To be a pain: Please tell why I feel like this man would just flip the mattress over. Like, he’s had enough and just *flips* you over. He’d help you up after and make sure you’re ok, but he’ll be laughing at you.

Beidou

Normally: Beidou is up early every morning, like Diluc she won’t wake you up until you need to wake up. She definitely whispers sweet nothings into your ear to wake you, she always enjoys the small smile you have on your face every morning. Pls Beiodu wake me up every morning.

To be sweet: Ugh this queen would cuddle you in her strong arms, while kissing your head. Beiodu doesn’t mind how much time she spends holding you, and when you’re awake she loves asking you about your plans for the day. She prefers cooking breakfast together one these sweet mornings, enjoying all the time you spend together.

In a emergency: Beidou definitely scares you awake. I can imagine her making a loud noise or tickling your feet. If that fails then she’s picking you up or dragging you to safety. She cares so much for you that she would always keep you safe.

To be a pain: Throws you overboard her ship. I’m joking, she’d definitely splash water on you. Unlike Diluc who’d spray it somewhat gently, Beiodu would just get a bucket and soak you. (She’ll dry you up tho bc she may have felt bad seeing your pouty face

My requests are open!

Taglist: @senkuwu-chan

[1kook]

kissanime & foreplay

this is part of my netflix & chill collection !

summary; You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans. warnings; mentions of hentai yes u read right, kook leads most of it, cunnilingus, masturbation (f), oral (f), use of a sex toy, fingering, nipple play, face sitting/fucking/riding idk (f), praise kink, hints of dumbification, cum eating, jk is like passive aggressive in this one, 4 (f) orgasms, this is the kicker: sub kook at the end😳, like 2 sec of dom yn lol, & u get 0.002 sec of adams apple kink misc; more dumb story lines, made up sex stores bc my creativity knows no bounds, Jungkook plays nice but is actually mean for the majority of it, once again doyeon plays a pivotal role in the furthering of women empowerment, internal love monologues about jk best boy<3 wc; 8.2k

notes; back when kissanime was offed I remember looking at this fic in the drafts like what the hell we gone do now.. n almost deleting it but I was like yknow what this isn’t a 1kook fic unless there’s smthn weird going on so here we are. also yes I know ohshc is on Netflix shut up!!!!! 

HAPPY BDAY MY LOVE AND MUSE JEON JUNGKOOK !!!! 🥺💜

—

The good thing about getting your own apartment is that you finally have a place to call your own. There’s no limit on how many potted plants you can squeeze into a one bedroom, one bathroom apartment, and if there was one, you’re twelve in and no one has said anything to you yet. You don’t have to share the shower space with anyone, label all your products with a hastily scribbled name. There’s a bathtub—something you haven’t had the pleasure of using during college—and a fairly open living space. There’s so many empty spots to fill with useless decorations and family heirlooms and that ugly plastic rooster Jungkook won you at the summer kick-off fair last month.

The bad thing about having your own place is that the entire world and their mothers seem to know now. Despite graduating from college, you still keep in touch with your trusted graduate mentor Kim Namjoon, who is still very much in school, and has made it his mission to bring you a new plant every week, hence your growing collection. Your childhood friend comes over every Saturday morning to lounge around after her Friday nights out. Jungkook, although the only one who is ever actually invited, runs through your strawberry scented body wash like a madman.

And of course, Doyeon.

Your beloved college roommate of four years, Kim Doyeon, has been the bane of your apartment experience so far. Unlike you, who had slaved away for four years, saving every penny you made during college for this moment, Doyeon was a big spender. She blew every dollar she ever came across, which is why she’s going to be stuck living at her parent’s house for at least a couple more years.

Nothing wrong with that, of course, if she wasn’t the most maniac online shopper in existence. It hadn’t been a problem in college because she was always good old pals with the students who worked the mailroom. If they saw something questionable, they’d let it slide as long as it was under Miss Kim Doyeon, Room 229.

The reason it became an issue for her now is because it’s poor Mrs. Kim who signs over the package from Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! one Tuesday afternoon as it is delivered to their suburban home.

So now she’s taken to ordering all her freaky stuff to your new apartment, where the small cabinet by the door has quickly become home to her impulsive shopping habits. Truthfully, you don’t mind accepting Doyeon’s weird packages, and have long since grown used to the uncomfortable looks the mail carrier gives you.

Jungkook’s supposed to come over today and you really hope he doesn’t ask about the state of your hall cabinet. Now that you work at a small company outside of your degree to make ends meet, time with Jungkook has been significantly decreased. You weren’t in college anymore, so you didn’t have the luxury of dropping by his house whenever you wanted to in between classes. Of course, it’s mostly your schedule that conflicts with your planned hangouts, because Jungkook is still working his dream job from home.

However, because Jungkook is quite possibly the most amazing person on this planet, he’s started coming over every Saturday night to make sure you’re still alive and not dying. And so weekly media binges are a thing, and it’s currently week four.

He gave up on showing you the Marvel movie franchise last week, after you had asked where Wonder Woman was three times in a row. Since the Barbie Movie Debacle of last month, you’ve found a nice medium between who picks when. Jungkook picks most of the time, because most of the time you don’t really care. It’s become a running joke between the two of you that movie binges are usually just terribly masked excuses to go to town on each other, so you don’t mind missing an entire 15th Century French Revolution documentary if it means Jungkook is deep in your guts by the time King Louis XIV gets beheaded or whatever they did to him. Is it too obvious you didn’t watch the documentary?

Occasionally, there are instances where one of you genuinely does want to watch something, in which case you have an intense match of rock-paper-scissors to decide who’s picking that night. Most of the time, Jungkook wins. But for every match Jungkook wins, he promises you’ll pick the next one so you’ve long since stopped trying to actually beat him.

Long story short, last weekend you sat through a two part Ancient Aliens episode on the connection between aliens and American presidents.

It was the most god-awful conspiracy theory you’ve ever heard of, but Jungkook ate up every minute of it. By the time the two hosts announced their conclusion you were just about ready to rip your own ears off and single-handedly fist fight every producer on the channel for allowing the production of such an atrocious show.

Anyway, because you had so bravely sat through the entire evening without complaints— well, no complaints towards Jungkook’s terrible taste; the show, however, was not safe from your wicked tongue —Jungkook has so graciously allowed you to pick the media for this weekend.

You’ve been telling him for the longest time that you were going to hook him on anime. It was one of the few interests you always believed Jungkook should possess, being a weeb and all, because it was only fair that he had one questionable trait to balance out the rest of his perfection. Liking anime isn’t bad— if a hottie like you enjoyed it, then it obviously had its perks. However, you know a lot of other people are turned off by anime-enthusiasts due to preconceived notions of the genre and the viewer-base.

Now, it was a widely known fact that you always had ulterior motives. So maybe turning Jungkook into a weeb was just a ploy to turn other women off from him and keep your jealousy at bay. Sue you, your boyfriend was a walking wet dream, and you’d do anything to keep him to yourself.

After long deliberation, you’ve decided on introducing Jungkook to anime with a classic: Ouran High School Host Club, a god among anime, a true Beyonce among shoujos. The only problem was that you absolutely refused to pay Crunchyroll or Funimation when you could so easily find the entire show on KissAnime.com, home to only the finest of hentai ads and Are You a Robot? questions.

He sends you a text when he’s outside your building, and five minutes later there’s a rap against your door.

“Hi,” you smile up at him, heart fluttering in that same trademark way it did whenever Jungkook was within a five foot radius. He smiles back softly, leaning down to peck your lips as you step aside for him to enter. He’s got on those cotton sweats that you love, the ones that send your brain into a censored frenzy. But he’s also got that soft curl to his hair that lets you know he came here straight out of the shower in his hurry to see you. How you managed to bag a dream boyfriend like him was beyond you.

You bask in the overwhelming feeling of unannounced love for all of ten seconds before Jungkook is lifting up a square package you hadn’t seen at his hip. “Mailman gave me this,” he says, waving around the signature bright pink packaging of Sexuality Unleashed. Jungkook, for all his politeness and respect, seemed to falter in those categories when it came to you. He turns the box over, reading the big fat name of the company on the side. “Since when did you start buying sex toys?” he asks rather loudly in the hallway.

You yank him inside, hurriedly slamming the door shut before any of your neighbors can come out into the hallway and get a peek of this avid sex toy consumer. “They’re not mine!” you hiss, standing still when he uses you to balance himself as he tugs off his shoes. You snatch the box out of his hands, turning it around to make sure it is actually addressed to your home. Sure enough, it’s for you. Couldn’t there have been some other sex toy fanatic on this floor?

With his shoes off, Jungkook wastes no time enveloping you in a hug, the Sexuality Unleashed box tumbling to the ground. “It’s okay, baby, no need to be embarrassed.”

You groan, leaning your forehead against his shoulder as he continues to pat your back like you’re actually embarrassed to be caught buying toys— you’re not. You’re embarrassed he caught you with a sex toy you simply can’t put to use. “Whatever,” you sigh, “your gross popcorn is in my bedroom and it’s probably stale.”

He releases you, not before pulling you into a slow and languid kiss that has you clutching tightly at the front of his shirt. He pulls away with a soft smooch, right eye falling into a wink. “Bring the box, gorgeous,” he teases, before sauntering off in the direction of your bedroom.

You groan loudly. “It’s not mine!” you repeat, but for some reason do as he says.

Not only do you have no idea what’s in this package, but you’re frankly not too keen on finding out. You’re more interested in Jungkook’s reaction to one of your favorite animes of all time. The package is tossed onto the end of the bed, where Jungkook has already stripped himself of his socks and cuddled beneath your covers.

Your laptop has gone dark from inactivity so you slam down on the space bar to bring it back to life. Your first mistake was pressing anything at all. It flickers back on alright, but you forget that you are working with a minefield of ads ready to explode. You get a glimpse of the KissAnime screen for a good two seconds before about seven ads pop up. Another tab to a raunchy hentai website opens, and Jungkook groans.

“What the hell is this?” he asks in a tone that screams he has never had to fight viruses off his computer just to watch something at two in the morning.

You ignore him, cuddling into his side as you hurriedly type in the title of the anime before another annoying ad can intercept you. “KissAnime,” you answer for now, accidentally clicking down on the mousepad with the heel of your palm. Another tab opens up to some sketchy credit site. You huff.

“Baby, I swear I just saw like twelve viruses,” he says. “And what even are these?” he scoffs, jabbing a finger at one of the many ads that lines the perimeter of the website. “Animated teacher porn?”

By the grace of god, you somehow manage to get onto the episode selection screen without having another tab open on you. You smile in relief, turning the power of your excitement onto Jungkook… only to find his eyes narrowed in on the square advertisement for some hentai website. “What? You wanna watch hentai now?” you snort, placing the laptop on his legs as you cuddle into his side.

Jungkook sputters, cheeks tinting red at the mere insinuation he would ever consume such media. “No,” he glares, releasing the arm around your shoulders to huffily cross them over his chest. “I am not going to watch anatomically incorrect illustrations of a woman teacher relieving herself, ___,” he says rather matter-of-factly.

You snort, repeating, “a woman teacher,” mockingly and in a high pitched voice that, honestly, doesn't sound anything like him. You click play on the video box that appears after only about twenty more pop-up ads. “Silence, you nymphomaniac, the episode is starting.” Jungkook pulls you close with a displeased expression, finally quieting down when you put it on full screen and the ads disappear from his view.

You’re beginning to wonder if Jungkook really is the script and plot dissector he claims to be, or if he just lives to get under your skin. He doesn’t make it three minutes without finding something to critique. First it’s the quality of the frames, and then it’s the characterization of the lead character. He nitpicks everything about the best anime in existence, and by the end of the first episode you’re considering breaking up with him.

“Oh my god,” you groan, tearing yourself away from him. He’s all laid up against your mountain of pillows, tongue prodding at the insides of his mouth in that ridiculously attractive habit of his. Usually, you’d be tripping over yourself to kiss him, but you’re about two seconds from ripping his head off. “I mean this in the nicest way possible, baby,” you sigh, picking up his hand in yours. “You gotta shut up.”

Jungkook rolls his eyes. “I have to shut up?” he asks in a scandalized tone. “You sang through the entire intro, off tune may I add.”

At this rate you’re getting nowhere, so you just snatch the laptop back up before you actually hurt his feelings. You escape the full screen, met with those hentai ads that are slowly becoming the bane of Jungkook’s existence.

“Who actually watches those anyway?” he mumbles, covering the sidebar full of naked cartoon ladies with his palm for you, a real gentleman if you ever saw one. “Really?” he says, knocking his pointer finger against a particularly raunchy ad with the caption Be a Good Boy and Let her Play beneath it.

You snort. “You are such a baby,” you tease, pinching his cheek much to his annoyance. “What? Can’t handle seeing some anime titties?”

Jungkook shoves your hand away, leaning back to become one with the pillows as you continue onto the next episode. “They’re just weird,” he admits. “And make unrealistic faces.”

“Unrealistic,” you repeat, finally giving one of the ads the time of day. There’s an adorably drawn character making the most perverted expression, knees hiked up to her chest. Her face is twisted up, drooling like a dog and with her eyes crossed in ecstasy. You shrug. “Just because you can’t get those faces out of me doesn’t mean they’re unreal.”

The second the words leave your mouth Jungkook is letting out a scandalized scoff, sitting up to level you with another glare. “First of all, I can get you like that,” he defends, tapping his finger against the ad on screen. “In fact, I can get you like that without even trying, so let’s not say anything too drastic now, okay?”

His sudden bout of defensiveness makes something playful in you switch on, laying back down beside him with a smirk. “Oh, you can make me all stupid like this?”

Jungkook scoffs. “Yes.”

“Uh huh,” you drawl, tracing a finger up his chest teasingly; Jungkook knocks your knuckles away, obviously still butt hurt about your comment. That’s fine, because a slightly riled up Jungkook was always the best Jungkook. You sit up and lean in close, letting your hand slip beneath his hoodie, palm running over his bare shoulder and around the top of his back. You give his nape a light squeeze, lips pressed against the shell of his ear. “Why don’t you prove it to me, Jungkookie?” you purr, before pulling away.

His jaw twitches at the nickname, one shapely brow unconsciously arching as he regards you with a calculative expression.

The thing about Jungkook was that, after almost a year of dating, you know just how to push his buttons. He has a rather calm and collected exterior to him, the same one he’s had since the day you met him, but beneath it all was a childish competitiveness that raged with the heat of ten suns. He disliked being taunted like you were doing now, especially when his credibility was at stake.

Honestly speaking, you don’t doubt Jungkook can make you look as goofy and messy as those hentai ads. In fact you’re rather confident he can. Either way, him being right or you being right, you would still get some fun out of it.

“Hm?” you add, tracing your hand up to dance over the skin of his cheek, pads of your fingers running over that stiff jaw. “Are you scared I’m right and you’re wrong?”

A hand snaps up to catch your wrist, fingers tight around your skin until you’re shivering against him. “Oh baby, I can make you cum until you cry,” he murmurs, his usual sweet and lilting tone dropping to a low vibration that makes your pussy throb beneath your panties. Your heart leaps in your chest, lips falling open when he ducks down to brush them against yours. It’s too light, just a simple touch that makes you follow his mouth when he pulls back.

With one firm shove, the laptop is tumbling off the bed, thudding loudly against your bedside rug. Jungkook leans over you, his usual trademark doe eyes zeroed in on you with the focus of a laser. “Have a little faith in me,” he teases, and when he presses close you can feel his fattening cock flush against your thigh. Your body is begging to be touched, every brush of his fingers against your skin searing trails in their wake.

Suddenly, he’s drawing back. “Kook?” you frown, barely biting down on a childish whimper when he snuggles back into your mountain of pillows, one arm stretched behind his head.

He flashes you a smile. “Go on,” he says, arms behind his head. “Show me how to get you like that.”

“By myself?” you ask, shifting onto your knees anyway. Jungkook nods, a soft jut of his chin as he gives you another one of those easy going smiles of his. His goal seems a little unclear, but you had a ridiculous amount of trust in your boyfriend that whatever he had planned was certain to be good. With one final skeptical glance his way, you sink down onto your bum, knees spreading and giving him a clear view of your little pink boy shorts, elastic band hugging your waist.

The material of your t-shirt is guided away, held to your chest by the hand currently not traversing the length of your stomach, gliding across soft skin, over your belly button and past that band until it slips beneath. You chance another look Jungkook’s way, only to find his eyes wonderfully downcast in the direction of your core. That smile is gone now, replaced with a somber look as he watches your hand move mysteriously beneath the fabric of your undergarments.

The first brush of your forefinger against your swollen button makes you twitch, back arching at the sensation that is magnified by his watchful gaze. “Mmh,” you bite down, hand twisting in the material of your shirt. Jungkook’s eyes glare a molten path across your skin, from the comfy bra that peeks out from beneath your rumpled shirt to the wrist slowly working beneath your panties.

A hand falls over your thigh, tattooed fingers giving the skin a light squeeze as you get to work swirling your bud around. The sight of his inked skin on yours makes something warm blossom in your lower abdomen, your eyes following the inky swirls up, up, up. They lead you to the face of your very handsome boyfriend, long lashes fanning across his cheekbones as he watches you play with yourself. “Wanna take these off for me?” he says, the tip of his pointer finger wiggling beneath the fabric of your shorts.

You nod hurriedly, wiggling around on the bed until you’re on your back, legs bent in front of you. The shorts come down your legs; the simplest press of your thighs makes something quiver in your abdomen. You toss them off to the side, and just as you go to sit back up, Jungkook places a hand on your knee. “Stay like this for me,” he says, sitting up from his mountain of pillows to glance down at you. You melt into the plush mattress beneath you, staring down at him between your legs. He’s got that adoring look in his eyes, the one that makes you feel so warm and in love, it’s only natural your hand slips down to play with your bare clit again. “That’s my girl,” he smiles, rubbing a hand down the outside of your thigh, urging your legs to fall open.

There’s this overflowing vat of arousal that builds up inside of you everytime Jungkook is around, like the moment your eyes land on him you’re reminded of every position he’s ever had you in. You remember the soft brush of his hands on your body, the way his lips feel on yours, the soft tickle of his hair when he gets too close. It makes your heart lurch in your chest, like if you don’t grab onto him tightly this feeling will slip through your fingers and out of your life. So you were crazily in love with your boyfriend— now what?

A puckered set of lips meets the inside of your thigh, the action ripping you from your overly gooey, overly soft inner rambling. Your hand trails down your quivering pussy lips, collecting your dripping wetness as you go. At the same time, Jungkook kisses down the inside of your thigh, soft smacks of his lips against your skin filling the air with an emotion that makes you bite down a whimper. Your hole puckers at the brush of your fingers, anticipating an entrance that you yearn to give into soon.

His mouth is on you before your finger can go deeper than a centimeter in. But Jungkook doesn’t brush your hand off, doesn’t shove you away to prove his mouth was undoubtedly better. He places a kiss over your knuckles, before swallowing up your significantly smaller hand with his, that of which he clasps together over your navel.

You groan, head rolling from side to side. “Don’t be so soft with me,” you whine, leg twitching when he presses a kiss against your engorged bundle of nerves. “Push me around like that one time, you know I like it.”

Jungkook grins, mouthing over your clit with practiced ease that has you releasing all kinds of whimpers and sighs. He’s got his other hand wrapped around your thigh, strong arm pulling you closer to that devious mouth and tongue that lavished attention on your clit. “Need me to be mean to you, baby?” he purrs, curling his tongue in such a way that it makes your entire body tense up, muscles pulled tight. “Want me to push you around like the stupid little girl you are?” You moan, head bobbing up and down at the ideas he stuffs in your mind. As he moves down the length of your cunt, that round nose you love brushes against your bud, and the cheeky shit takes an obnoxiously loud sniff of it, a soft groan breathed against your lower lips. “But isn’t this better?” he hums, languidly molding his lips against your lower ones, much in the same way he does with the ones on your face; he moves slowly, slips his tongue in every few seconds before eventually diving in head on. “Slow... and so easy.”

“Kook,” you mewl, getting this overwhelming urge to cover your face with your hands. But you can’t, because he’s knotted one hand with yours and his fingers only tighten when you try to yank them apart. Instead you’re left pressing one knuckle against your mouth, brows pinching as he begins slowly fucking his tongue into your cunt. “F-Faster,” you beg. He, of course, ignores your plea.

The wet mass moves past the clenched muscles around your hole, nose brushing against your lips with every intrusion. Every few cycles he stops to press a kiss against your pussy, so hard and wet that it hurts when he pulls off. You’re left writhing and moaning, your heel knocking against his shoulder when he pushes your leg up closer to your chest. “It’s enough,” you cry, your entire body shivering.

Jungkook pulls off with a loud pop, lips glistening with your arousal. He’s got this glint on his eyes, like he’s thoroughly entertained by your reactions. He shuffles around to get comfortable, finally releasing that grip on your hand. Immediately, your newly freed hand jumps forward to tangle in the hair above his ear, tracing down the delicate curve of his cheekbone. Jungkook turns his head, pressing a soft peck against your open palm that makes your heartbeat thunder in your ears.

As he moves around, his leg bumps against something that has both of you pausing. It sounds out of place next to your shallow breaths, and both of you glance down only to catch sight of that stupid package from Sexuality Unleashed teetering on the edge of the bed.

The moment you see it, it’s like you’re transported into an omnipresent view of the scene, the next few hours flashing before your eyes as Jungkook snorts. You know he’s going to reach for it in two seconds, and you know he’s going to tear the hot pink packaging apart with his bare hands. He does so with a scary amount of power, the industrial tape not standing a chance against him. A box roughly the same size as the package falls out, and before you can kick it away and save yourself from suffering beneath Jungkook’s teasing antics, he’s snatching up the box.

“The Bullet Bestie,” he reads aloud, dark eyes flying across the text with lightning speed before that box is also being ripped open. (Briefly, there’s a voice in your head that thinks of Doyeon, but you’re not sure why.) Out tumbles a little pink bullet with a strap on one end that bounces against your thigh and an even smaller remote.

“Baby,” you rush out, the sight of the tiny toy making your heart thunder in your chest. “We can look at it another time,” you try, hands coming up to brush against his face again. “Why don’t you finish off here?” you ask, a sickeningly sweet politeness dripping off your tongue as the knot in your tummy fades into the background of his attention.

Jungkook ignores you, picking up the remote with a wondrous look in his eyes. Before you can try to persuade him back between your legs, a quiet click cuts you off and the little bullet whirls to life. You yelp at the sudden vibrations against the inside of your thigh, so close to your throbbing core. The jump of your thighs has it falling onto the mattress below you, wide eyes snapping back to the smirk that grows on his face.

“No,” you say slowly, sitting back up, “no, no,” you try, your usual assertiveness melting into a whiny cry as you try to wiggle away from him and the nefarious ideas infesting his lust-addled mind. You’re barely turning, ready to make a run for it and hand him his victory by forfeit, when Jungkook is catching you by the waist. Your hips get pulled up, arms clawing uselessly at the sheets beneath you as he drags you close to him. He’s fast, already having moved onto his knees behind you, and when he yanks you up, you can feel every hot plane of his body aligned with your backside. “Kook, please just make me cum,” you gasp.

There’s a smile pressed against your shoulder, lips still wet from before, kissing along the side of your neck. “Look at my girl,” he murmurs, and you nearly jump out of your skin when something smooth is traced along your thigh. One hand slips beneath the material of your shirt, soothingly rubbing circled against your skin. This hand also holds the tiny remote between two fingers, and every nerve in your body is on edge waiting for it to be used. “Where’s that smartmouth now?”

“Jungkook,” you try to warn. But there’s no bite to your words, only an anticipation that grows the closer he moves that damned toy between your thighs. “Baby, we-we can play another time, okay? Just please—“

A soft click, and suddenly your spine is giving out on you, upper body flopping forward as Jungkook runs the vibrations over your clit. Of course Jungkook follows, never letting you slip far from his reach. A loud moan spills from your lips, lower lip wobbling at the unreal amounts of pleasure he bestows upon you with such a small toy. “W-Wait,” you sob, the coil from before suddenly magnified tenfold. It makes your orgasm loom over you bigger than ever, a wave that threatens to spill over and drown you in one go. “No-please.”

His mouth presses against your ear, hot breaths fanning against the skin there. “Hey pretty girl, does it feel good?” he husks out, kissing just below your ear. “Aw fuck,” he groans, something stiff pressing against the cleft between your cheeks, “can’t even see if you’re making that stupid face right now.”

You are, but you don’t even have the words to tell him that. The moment the vibrator had made contact with your already ravished clit, your eyes had rolled into the back of your head. You don’t doubt you look like those silly ads you’d laughed at earlier, mouth opening and closing every few seconds as he circles the toy around your bud. You settle on a high-pitched whimper that has Jungkook laughing meanly against your ear.

It ends too soon, the stimulation from Jungkook eating you out for a few minutes combining with the bullet to form a powerful duo that swallows you whole. An embarrassingly loud moan rips itself from your throat, hands twisting in the sheets beneath you as it washes over you. It’s so powerful, it blinds you, pussy spasming. Jungkook’s name is repeated about a thousand times in between, your body eventually melting back into the mattress as the final shocks run through you.

The vibrator clicks off just as quietly as it turned on, your harsh breaths filling the room in its place. “Good girl,” Jungkook praises, raining down a parade of kisses against your shoulder. You mewl in appreciation, still awkwardly shoving your face into the mattress, and your hips in the air. From the corner of your eyes, you watch him set the glistening toy off to the side, and you’re just about ready to thank the heavens for such an experience with your boyfriend, when said boyfriend hits you with a curveball.

The gentle pecks against yours shoulder dissolve into harsh kisses, rough hands trailing up your waist. The t-shirt gathers around his knuckles, pushed and pushed until he’s got those same hands cupping your breasts. “Did you like that?” he asks, biting down against your shoulder; the sensation is dulled by your shirt being in the way but it still makes you whine. You moan softly, nodding against the mattress as he gets to kneading your breasts over your bra. “Mm,” Jungkook sighs, “my pretty girl was so good for me, wasn’t she?”

Those deft fingers run back down, crawl beneath the elastic of your lounge bra and push it away until your breasts are bouncing out of their cage. “Kook,” you sigh, eyes fluttering shut as he traces circles around your nipples. “W-Wait,” you whimper, suddenly reminded of the swollen cock pressed against your backside when he leans closer.

“Shhh,” he soothes, tweaking your nipples. “Relax for me, sweetheart,” he coos, flicking your hardened nipples with his fingers. You can’t relax, not with your body still so sensitive and him playing with you. Still, the low intonation makes something soft and warm settle in your chest, the kisses against your jaw making your eyes fall shut. “That’s it,” he says, giving one nipple a playful twist that draws a high-pitched moan from you.

Just as you’re beginning to fall into the rhythm of Jungkook’s caresses and voice, he releases one breast to traverse his hand down and over your tummy, to your sensitive pussy. You gasp, biting down on your lip as he teasingly flicks your clit with his fingers. “Bet you could come again now,” he murmurs, taking the tip of your earlobe into his mouth and nibbling softly. You groan, shoving your face into the sheets as if that will save you from your doom. “Bet your pretty little pussy can cream itself just like this, isn’t that right, sweet girl?”

You whimper, hips bucking back against him when he begins nudging your bud, lewd sounds reaching your ears. His other hand remains on your breast, no longer toying with your nipple but simply holding it almost comfortingly. There’s a smirk pressed against your skin, that pearly white smile you usually adore so much teasing you as he circles your nub.

“Come on,” he encourages quietly, kissing up the column of your neck again. You moan, thighs quivering as he strokes a second orgasm out of you with no struggle. Your eyes and throat burn at the heat that washes over you, and you release a hoarse scream into the mattress— Jungkook chuckles at the sound, egging you on with that low voice until your muscles go limp a second time.

When he rolls you onto your stomach again, you try desperately to cover the tears that blur your vision, turning away from him like a child when he tries to look. “Crybaby, crybaby,” he sings teasingly, prying your hands away to capture your mouth with his for the first time that night. “Lemme see those tears, baby,” he purrs.

He tastes like you, tongue dripping with that sweet tang of your pussy, and he smells like you too. It strokes the flames of you ego, arms eventually wrapping around his shoulders as he settles above you. He pulls off with a curl of his tongue against your swollen lips, brown eyes lazily staring down at you. It’s embarrassing how well kept he still was compared to your half-nude state of dress. His skin is all glowy and pretty, not a single tear track in sight, and his grin is still too relaxed for your liking.

Jungkook’s body feels so warm and comforting against yours, muscles keeping the heat trapped between your bodies. You go to brush a hand through his hair, needing to feel the familiarity of those silky locks, before he’s suddenly leaning away. He shuffles onto his knees again, glancing down at your thoroughly abused cunt with a quirk in his brows.

“God,” you groan, knocking your foot against his side. “Just fuck me already,” you huff despite your earlier fatigue. You could only go so long without feeling Jungkook’s fat demon cock inside of you.

He snorts at your snappy tone, cutely tilting his head to the side to move his hair out of his face. His jaw looks sharp from this angle, facial features covered in shadows the lamplight behind him can’t touch. “Can’t,” he announces, and you could pull your hair out from all this unnecessary build up.

Truth to be told, you and Jungkook were both equally as unrestrained when it came to each other. Most of the time, the lead up to actual, penetrative, key-in-lock sex included a couple minutes of heavy petting from his end, and maybe a half assed handjob from you. Sometimes if you felt extra attentive, he’d eat you out and you'd him off. But for the most part, the two of you jumped straight into it after an orgasm, like horny teenagers despite the two of you being twenty-three now.

The most adventurous you’d ever gotten up until the point was maybe two orgasms bestowed upon you by a crazed Jungkook. And, well. You had hit two orgasms now. You were ready for his monster cock.

“Kook,” you whine childishly.

Jungkook shakes you off, placing a palm on both your knees. Slowly, he spreads your thighs apart again, eyes zeroed in on the glossy folds that come into view, the sparkling pearly cum that leaks out of your hole. “I can’t, baby,” he says, almost pained. “I gotta clean you up first,” he insists, and before you can tell him how counterproductive it is to lick you clean of your arousal before fucking you, he’s diving face first into your cunt.

But the biggest surprise doesn’t come from Jungkook going in for thirds, but from the hands he clasps around your thighs, the sheer strength he uses to roll you over (ignoring the shriek you let out) to sit you on his face. “No, no,” you yelp immediately, “I-I‘ll break you,” you cry, trying to escape from his hold.

From beneath your thighs, dark eyes peering up at you daringly, you can see the clear warning on Jungkook’s face. It’s a look that loudly says don’t you dare fucking move, shapely brows sending a jolt of genuine fear down your spine for a moment. “Jungkook,” you fret, trying to ignore the arousal that only continues to blossom as his tongue laps against your folds for the second time that night. “I’m, I’m,” you stammer, hands burying themselves in his hair as he ignores your cries. “I’ll break you,” you try again, spine arching when he slurps your clit into his mouth. “I-I’ll—“

He pulls off with a pop. “Fuck my face, baby,” he says, as if he hadn’t heard a single of your concerns at all. His nose nudges against your clit, a whimper catching in your throat. Briefly, his hand disappears from around your thigh, and when it returns, that tiny bullet vibrator from earlier is pressed against your thigh. “You got that?”

You nod, internally torn apart by your fear of crushing him and your need to drag your cunt all over your boyfriend’s handsome face. You glance down at him, watch him slip that vibrator into his mouth for just a second and lewdly coat it in his saliva, before he’s reaching around to shove it past your pussy lips. They’re still swollen and puffy, but have long since relaxed enough for him to slip it in. “B-But what if—“

“You won’t,” he cuts off, readjusting himself closer to your cunt again, “come on, pretty girl.”

The reason you think you and Jungkook click so well was because he was able to bring that vulnerable side out of you every now and then. He knew you liked to parade around with that huge superiority complex, and he loved it. But he also knew there were things you liked and disliked, and sometimes it took a little pushing for you to reveal them.

For a second, that horny cloud over his irises lifts, and he gives you one of those cute, sloppy winks as he taps your thigh gently. “Fuck my face, sweetheart,” he whispers, “drag that pretty cunt all over me until I can’t breathe.” A gasp catches in your throat, hands unconsciously curling against his scalp. He notices, and flashes you a lazy smirk. “You can do that, can’t you?”

Something akin to adoration blooms in your chest, and before you can blurt out something embarrassing—like I love you—there’s a soft click that has The Bullet Bestie revving up inside of you. You gasp, the sudden vibrations deep inside your pussy making your hips snap forward, clit rubbing against Jungkook’s nose.

“O-Oh,” you cry, and that’s all it takes for you to lose it. Your hips start off slow, at first just savoring the wet drag of his tongue against your lips, his nose against your clit. He sticks his tongue out for you, and part of you wants to tell him he’s a good boy, that corny hentai ad flashing in your mind, but you doubt you’ll survive the aftermath of that. Once you find that perfect pace, your hands are practically yanking at his hair, pushing him further into the mattress as you ride his face like he’s nothing but a toy. “Kook, Jungkook,” you pant, grinding your lower lips against his all too eager mouth.

It feels oddly weird being over him like this, using him like this. You like to think you and Jungkook have equal power in the bedroom, but you will admit that more often than not, he assumes control by default. You’re not particularly bothered by that, because you doubt you’d ever come up with the crazy ideas Jungkook did when he was horny (okay, a lie, because you definitely have thought of crazy sex schemes before).

But, this moment…

The power was quickly going to your head. “Fuck,” you sob, roughly dragging the length of your pussy over and over his face. The hands around your thighs are pressing against your skin with a strength that would hurt were you not blinded by arousal. His eyes are shut, lids fluttering open every now and then as he watches you buck wildly over his face like he was a pillow in high school and your parents were gone for the weekend.

It doesn’t help that the rhythmic pulses of the vibrator inside of you are doing their job well, the tongue that slips into your pussy joining together to form a powerful combination. It’s ultimately what has you halting your manic thrusts, instead falling into a slow grind over him. Your hips circle, eyes squeezed shut as you lose yourself in the lapping of his tongue against your dripping hole. “Mmmf,” you mewl, biting down on your lower lip as the wet muscle prods against a delicate spot within you. You hear feels light, view of the gorgeous man beneath you obstructed by the eyelids that can't seem to stay open. “N-No,” you cry, pulling his hair more roughly than you intended to in order to redirect him. “There, there,” you whimper, holding him tight against your pussy.

Beneath you, Jungkook exhales harshly against your lips, hands moving frantically over your thighs as he works his tongue inside of you alongside the bullet vibrator. If you weren’t so caught up in your own pleasure, all kinds of sounds spilling from your lips, you would have heard the quiet moans that fall from his. Alas.

It takes a few more pulses from the toy and a few more licks from Jungkook until you’re coming for the third time that night, features twisting up as your pussy clenches around his tongue before spilling down his mouth. Your back arches, a defeated moan escaping you as you release the same mess he’d claimed to clean up onto his lovely face. You can barely breathe afterwards, mouth dry and head dizzy when Jungkook finally pops back out from between your thighs. You barely have enough time to lift yourself up, pussy lightly brushing across his Adam’s apple as you stop yourself from crushing his windpipe. It makes you twitch.

“Good girl,” Jungkook praises with a cheeky smile that distracts you from the bullet toy he retrieves from your quivering cunt. His face is absolutely glistening from your arousal, skin warm and flush. He’s looking up at you like you’re some mythical goddess and he’s but a humble villager coming to pay his respects at the temple that is your body. Fuck, were you okay? You don’t think you’ve ever felt this good in your entire life, and Jungkook’s mushy gaze was doing things to your heart.

He presses a kiss against the inside of your thigh before helping you off of him, laughing meanly when you flop limply down beside him. He’s still fully clothed, a fact that irks you when he leans over to kiss you with that glossy face of his. “D’you like it?” he mumbles, kissing softly down your face. You nod, legs twitching from the aftermath of that wild ride. “I saw it, y’know,” he says suddenly.

“Saw what?” you mumble, mindlessly rolling your head to the side and exposing more skin when he begins kissing along your neck.

Jungkook says nothing, just rolls over you. Part of you thinks he’s crazy, but you’re suddenly hit with the realization that while Jungkook’s drawn three orgasms out of you in the course of an hour, you hadn’t done anything for him. Before you can dive head first into swallowing his cock, he’s kissing you softly. “That stupid face,” he smirks, slotting his mouth against yours. “That weird, now realistic face,” he tacks on.

You huff out a laugh, throwing your leg around his waist comfortably. Jungkook smiles, kisses you one last time before settling in your arms, face cutely pressed in between your boobs. “Hey,” you call, “don't you wanna cum too?”

He shakes his head, a soft sigh filling the air. “Nah,” he says, cuddles closer into you. “Rest now, baby.”

You roll your eyes. “I can feel your dick against my thigh,” you point out, wiggling your pelvis upward to brush against his throbbing erection. Jungkook holds you down in an effort to stop you. “Fuck me.”

He groans against your collarbone. “No, you’re tired,” he tries to convince you, but his skin is warm and flushed in the way it always gets when he’s riled up. “Sleep.”

With the leg around his hip, you pull him closer. “Fuck me, Jungkookie,” you purr, using the hands in his hair to turn his face up towards yours. His dark eyes are drawn down cutely, pouty lips too. “Use my body,” you suggest, “I’m yours anyway.”

His eyes flutter shut, a quiet whimper falling from his lips. “Don’t say that,” he sighs, “makes me wanna do very mean things to you.”

You smile. “You can do whatever you want to me, don’t you know that?” Another groan, his head falling forward until he’s hiding in your neck. Still, there’s movement from below, he sweats slipping down at his hips until that throbbing cock is pressed into the tiny crease where your thigh meets your pelvis. There’s a moment of hesitation, and you wonder if this is what he felt like earlier when he’d managed to get you to sit on his face. “Inside, Jungkookie,” you murmur, reaching down to line him up with your sensitive entrance. He whines softly, arms wrapping around you as he pulls you close. “Good boy.”

Despite your earlier belief that you’d never survive an encounter with Jungkook after using such a term on him, the result is much different from what you had anticipated. He visibly melts into your arms, cock slipping past your folds easily. “No,” he says, his voice feathery and whiny against your ear. “I can’t.”

You soothe a hand down his back, eyes fluttering shut as he begins slowly rutting against your swollen lips. “That’s it,” you encourage, tugging softly at his wavy hair. Jungkook moans wantonly against your neck, rolling his hips harshly against you until his arms are the only things keeping you from jostling out of his hold. “Do you like this pussy?” you ask, purposefully clenching around him, tummy tightening at the stimulation you keep packing on.

Jungkook shudders, pace growing slipping inside of you. “Yes,” he pants, “s-so wet… creamy.”

“Yeah?” you huff, pressing a smiley kiss against his forehead. “It’s yours.”

“Ffffuck,” Jungkook chokes, picking up his pace as his well-deserved orgasm reaches its peak. He’s breathing harshly now, and it’s taking everything in you to keep your pussy tight around him. But after the night he’d given you, the sounds and faces he pulled from you, it’s the least you can do. Besides, your body, after being so thoroughly pleased, still rears up for one final orgasm with him. “Mine,” he growls, bucking his hips into you. “You’re mine, baby, mine,” he seethes, ending his little tryst with a piston of his hips that makes you gasp, body almost unconsciously spasming around him. It’s painful, but so, so delicious how he manages to pull this last orgasm from you as he finally busts inside of you.

He comes with a stuttering garble of words, none of which you catch as he collapses into your hold for the final time that night. “Fuck,” he pants afterwards, leaning into your touch when he finally registers the soft combing of fingers through his hair. “That was evil.”

You laugh, pulling him closer. “As evil as you making me suffer through three orgasms before putting your dick in me?” you tease. Jungkook slips out of you, and you know it’ll be a hassle to clean your sheets tomorrow but it’s worth it.

“It’s called building the scene,” he weakly defends, blindly tugging the puffy blanket over the two of you. “I was gonna rhyme it with that horrible website you made me use but I already forgot it’s name.”

“Rude,” you snap, “it’s called KissAnime.”

“And fore-play,” he suddenly says, and you almost yank his eyeballs out of their sockets for doing that stupid thing again.

—

epilogue 

Two weeks later, your favorite website and home to hentai ads is shut down after years of piracy. Jungkook laughs at your demise, sits and actually cackles at your heartbreak, until he eventually comforts you with his flaming demon cock and a subscription to both Crunchyroll and Funimation. Doyeon spends weeks tracking down a missing package, apparently some freebie she’d gotten for being such an avid customer on Sexuality Unleashed: The Best Toys Worldwide! before eventually finding it in your drawer. And because her and Jungkook have some awkward life-long rivalry for your attention, he doesn’t pay for that. 

—

Copyright © 2020, 1kook on tumblr. absolutely NO reposts allowed.

[tinyyzz]

Picking strawberries w the Shelby brothers would include...

So I wanted to actually write the stuff that I always do, but I couldn't find a good plot to get it going, so I decided, why not write a bunch of headcanons instead?

taglist: @captivatedbycillianmurphy @babylooneytoonz @thomasinada @shelby-love

Tommy Shelby

✧ He’d hold a basket for you and follow you around tiredly because you keep spotting strawberries

✧ He loves you anyway and he 100% thinks it’s cute.

✧ When he notices you hum a tune as you walk, he just falls in love with you all over again

✧ “Tommy, look, here’s another one!”

✧ “(Y/n), Pol’s not going to need this many strawberries.”

✧ He also steals them from the basket when you’re not looking

✧ When you catch him though, he feeds you one quickly so you can’t scold him

✧You obligingly eat it but you stop him after a while because it’s unhygienic

✧After a while you both are kinda tired and lay in the grass

✧ His cap is placed beside him because he knows you like to play with his hair.

✧ The summer brings a nice warm breeze over Birmingham so it’s not the coldest.

✧ It’s still cold so you end up wearing his jacket around your shoulder.

✧ And you’re both just there, it’s peaceful.

✧ Eventually you both doze off and it isn’t until Polly comes to find you and scolds you both for staying out so long with no hear on your whereabouts.

✧ (She goes soft when she sees the amount of strawberries you both pick, gives an excuse of dozing off)

John Shelby

✧ John thinks you’re absolutely gorgeous in the dress that he bought you

✧ It was expensive but oh so worth it

✧ Because it’s John and he loves his kids, he brings them along too

✧ It’s your first time meeting them so you’re nervous

✧ You also prepare a small picnic, minus some sweet things because you know how children can get.

✧ You didn’t have very good experience with kids therefore somewhat disliked them

✧ “What if they don’t like me John?”

✧ “Don’t worry, they’ll learn.”

✧ But you inwardly asked yourself what if you didn’t like them.

✧ It goes on smoothly when you find that they aren’t a very disobedient bunch

✧Of course as kids, they can be, but you could handle it

✧You easily distracted them from breaking out into fights with strawberries and exaggerating your praises when they picked them

✧“That is indeed a marvellous strawberry, I don’t know how you did it.”

✧“Of course your strawberry is marvellous too!”

✧“It is red yes, well arent you clever?”

✧ John just looks from afar and grins like a fool in love because he doesn’t know how he managed to get someone like you

✧You feed him one for the fun of it out of the blue

✧“It’s sweet isn’t it?”

✧“Not as sweet as you.”

✧When you settle down to eat it takes both your efforts to make sure the children don’t ruin the whole mood by erupting into a food fight.

✧It fails because when you both give up and play along, it’s actually fun.

✧So everyone is slathered in food and strawberries and laughter.

✧When the kids get tired, it’s a quiet drive home, you fall asleep in the car

✧ John drops his kids off with Polly and you wake up shortly after.

✧ And yeah he jumps on you once you both reach home because hey it’s John.

Arthur Shelby

✧ He kinda finds the activity boring but because you invited him he couldn’t say no

✧Eventually he finds that it’s all worth it because he’s spending time with you

✧He truly thinks you’re an angel at this point when you frolic around and pluck berries with the sun shining brightly.

✧“Arthur, you’re staring.”

✧“Well why not?”

✧You kinda know he wasn’t the most enthusiastic about this activity, so you bring your radio along for his entertainment.

✧And he’s okay with it, you’re kinda worried that he’s bored but he’s honestly just fine watching you.

✧ and you’re just glad that he’s there.

✧You both kinda just small talk or walk around, whatever suits.

✧Arthur doesn’t want to ruin how peaceful it is but he doesn’t really know how to act either so he kinda just follows what you do

✧“You alright Arthur?”

✧“With you? Always.”

✧He’s a pretty smooth talker when he wants to

✧Out of impulsiveness and boredom you decide to dance to a song on the radio with him

✧ He's so awkward because Arthur Shelby? dancing? in the field like some dream? it made him laugh.

(tbh it made me laugh too bc can u imagine a slaughtering muderous gang member giggle and dance in a meadow? its so funny)

✧ Of course you lead and he just smiles, when he gets the hang of it he leads too.

✧Upon reaching your house you kiss and thank him for his company at the doorstep.

✧But yeah he can’t really take it anymore so the kiss escalates into something more (ykyk)

✧(or maybe not because he doesn't really wanna ruin the moment)

Finn Shelby

since I was making one for everyone, why not baby boy Finn?

✧Finn is somewhat excited to try a new activity, but he doesn’t show it.

✧He doesn’t laugh at you or tries to act cool about it because he doesn’t want to accidentally hurt you for suggesting such a mundane activity

✧He picks strawberries with you unlike his brothers that just watch you from afar or help off and on, he wants in on the action too

✧of course, like his brothers, he eats them too.

✧“(y/n) you’ve missed one.”

✧"So i have."

✧“I bet i can pick these red things faster than you.”

✧So yes it turns into a competition on who can pick the most strawberries.

✧You look at your basket off and on to make sure he doesn’t steal from your pile

✧The reward is that the winner gets to control what the loser does for a whole hour.

✧When Finn wins by a berry, you hoped that he wouldn’t tell you to do anything weird.

✧He only chooses to use his hour when you both arrive back at the betting house/ The Garrison (whichever suits, this is alt.)

✧When you both reach home, Polly insists you take some home because during the competition you guys just picked so many.

(cont. i didn't want to add this in because it has nothing to do with strawberry picking lol but eh)

✧Everyone is so confused at your movements and how you were talking because Finn just wants to fully utilise his authority

✧Or abuse it

✧He tells you to speak like Tommy in front of Tommy, and it just gives you dread but he says it’ll be fine.

✧“Tommy *clears throat*.”

✧“(y/n)?”

✧“I’ve come to see *a pause* about those reports Tommy yeah?.”

✧He doesn’t know how to feel about this joke because he doesn’t know if it was to mock him or if it's just for fun.

✧You’re not allowed to tell people about your circumstances during the hour too

✧Whichever it is, you were somewhat humiliated by the end of the hour.

[pocketramblr]

Many people claim second is either time traveling Bakugou or like fore father or smth because... Well look at him. Whats your take on it?

The worst thing about Tumblr is that the search blog function is so non existent that I can't even be sure you didn't try to see my opinion about this before asking, so I can't even blame you, but... Well:

This was my reaction to people continuing to suggest Bakugo was Second after we learned Yoichi's name

This was my reaction to a "reincarnated second" Bakugo ask

This was me making fun of the time travel theory by explaining that Ponytail Uraraka could actually be Third

And this was a post where I mentioned that I'm basically neutral on Bakugo as a whole because I really like some of his arc and his interactions, especially the remedial course arc, but that I really don't like him involved with the OfA plot line and feel it detracts from both he and Izuku

Ok. Let's go deeper then, and hopefully make this the last post I have to make on this subject.

tldr of the read more: I don't like Second as Bakugo and I actually think that the chances of Second as Bakugo's ancestor went down after the events of this week's chapter

So, I did see a lot of bak-u-go and I finally put my finger on why I hated it so much, (BESIDES the fact that I just do not think Horikoshi has done the set up for time travel in general or Bakugo in particular. Look, izuku should have told us already if Second was Bakugo. It just doesn't make sense for him to be, functionally) and instead of posting it on tumblr and dealing with people actually, like, seeing and reacting to it I just told two friends why I didn't like it thematically in a group chat. The text of my message is pasted bellow:

"So, like, even if Bakugo grows up and yeets back in time and somehow izuku doesn't recognize him with a little face scar which seems VERY UNLIKELY to me EVEN IF, then it COMPELETELY makes First's supposition pointless

the thing WASNT "second extended a hand to someone connected to and hurt by afo and freed first even tho he was nemisis, which is why izuku should extend a hand to tomura"

INSTEAD it was "Baku2 extended a hand to first because he ALREADY KNEW afo's brother was a hero and it would help all might and co and there was ABSOLUTELY NO FAITH, NO GOODWILL, NO OPTIMISTIC COMPASSION involved because baku2 KNEW what would happen and wasn't even really making a CHOICE so much as following the plan"

ahem. anyway thematically it is bad As Well as being functionally bad

is,,, bad theory,,,, i have nine very good Seconds, why would i want no Second and just dealing with bakugo more,,,

So yeah, that's my take on Baku2- it replaces the potential actual character of Second (who is someone I love exploring in many different ways) with a character we already have. And I don't hate the character, but when I'm thinking about OfA Stuff? I don't want him there! I just can't bring myself to care about Bakugo as Second. If I want to have fun with Bakugo, and I sometimes do, I have him go train and develope menteeship with Nejire. I give him some Dadzawa. I have him develop friendships and better himself with the remedial team. Getting rid of a character I like to cast Bakugo in Second's place? The least fun thing I can think of! I just don't want to do it. Have fun, write it yourself, and tag it properly so that I don't have to see it.

Ok. You also mentioned Bakugo as Second's descendent. Honestly, it's possible, but I think it's less likely now. Second has spikey hair but it looks just as much like Dabi's as it does Bakugo's. It's just how Hori draws spikey hair. They don't even have the same style, since Second has an undercut and his hair is shaded darker than Bakugo's. I also don't think that Second is going to have an explosive quirk, because Third just got one! Third's Fa Jin quirk "builds up kinetic energy and use that energy to release an explosive burst of power."

What would be the point of Izuku getting an explosion quirk from Second? It wouldn't make sense with the actual quirk lineage Bakugo has from his parents if they were trying to go that route, and frankly it's just like the Baku2 Problem: I already know how Explosion works! It's not interesting to me! I don't want to miss out on a new fun quirk just to see one I already know again.

I want Second to have a mental quirk, that's my first pick. A lighting quirk would be fine too since I really wanted Sixth to have one but then he got a stealth one so I guess I don't need Second to have a stealth quirk anymore. *Glances at Vaneer.*

Anyway so maybe Third with spikey hair that actually matches Bakugo's color is his ancestor. Maybe Second is. They both have the build of their costumes in a way that reminds of Bakugo's summer and winter hero costumes. Maybe neither of them are. I don't really care that much, because... I don't think Second likes Bakugo. I don't think he liked him at the start, and I don't think he likes him now. I'll quote a friend who actually brought this topic up before I could, and whom I agree with:

Friend: Someone asked me "Okay but what about Second being Bakugou's ancestor?" So, I had to refrain from answering "Well, if you want, but Second would probably be disgusted by Bakugou. He is a guy who sacrificed everything so some asshole with a strong quirk wouldn't do whatever he wants. What do you think he would think of Bakugou?"

Me: you're stronger than me i would have answered that and then gotten a dozen angry messages back like 'uhhhh but but hes CHANGED now if second can 'forgive' a toothpick of a man who never actually did anything to hurt him and was only considered a target because of a relative, aka bc of his genetics, then surely he'd forgive bakugo for uh activlely harming izuku bc of his genetics and openly mocking the past holder's pain, fight, and strength in a meeting he acted too good for!'

So I don't think Second would like Bakugo for those reasons, but also another one- he's naïve. Second didn't like Izuku trying to "save to win" Shigaraki, he thought it was foolish. I don't think he'd like Bakugo's "fight to win" focus either, because to him it wasn't "fight to win." It was "fight to survive" and I don't think that for a single moment he thought he'd 'win' because he was 'a hero' and 'heroes always win and villains always lose and that's why I want to be a hero.' there's a reason he didn't want Bakugo to keep OfA either, and it wasn't just because of a very circumstantial theory some vestiges have based off a sample size of two with absolutely no way to check other variables said that maybe it would kill a holder if they had another quirk.

Has Bakugo grown since those views? Sure. Do I think he's still naïve? Yeah. Do I think Second would see that growth of his, or even care? No. I don't.

I don't think Second hates Bakugo. I just don't think he likes him either. His opinion, I think, probably is similar to my own: "he's a kid who can really grow and be great... And I just don't want him anywhere near OfA buisness."

[laughing-with-god]

owo what would taehyung be like, in a hypothetical scenario, if he were a victor in the hunger games ? :0

District Eleven (Agriculture) 

District Eleven is the second poorest district, but by far the most oppressed.  The Capitol hold over the citizens is way worse than any other district, peacekeepers give out public beatings daily and are known for even shooting children, mentally handicapped citizens and the elderly.  

Most people in this district are field workers, not by choice though.  Almost everyone in 11 has to work in the orchards and farms, but if they’re caught stealing any of the crops (which is often bc the citizens are always starved) the peacekeepers will whip them in public as punishment.  

When Taehyung was five years old his mother was caught stealing some food from the fields, she had no choice because she had a child to feed and was willing to risk the consequences if it meant feeding her son.  Sadly, she got caught and was dragged to the town square and beaten.  

She was beaten so brutally that she went blind in one eye, crippled her right leg and began suffering seizures since that day.  All this made her unfit to ever work again.  

So Taehyung’s dad became the sole bread winner of the family.  But he couldn’t handle the pressure and double workload so he turned to alcohol to cope.  Unfortunately, in a drunken rage he paraded the streets and picked fights with peacekeepers for what they did to his wife.  This resulted in him getting a bullet in the head.  Taehyung had to witness them mop up the brain matter off the sidewalks the next morning.  He was only 8 years old.  

Taehyung was reaped when he was 16 years old.  Unlike other tributes, Taehyung was used to having to school his expression and show no emotions in fear of getting executed.  So he walked up to the stage and showed complete indifference.  His district counterpart did the same, if citizens at 11 have anything in common- it’s their quick ability to shut down and shut up.  

No one visited Taehyung after his reaping.  He was an only child, no friends, his dad was dead and his mother was practically bed-bound.  Only during this time did he allow himself to cry, feeling guilty for leaving his mom with no one to take care of her.  

His mentors ended up focusing more on his counterpart.  She was 18, looked more well-fed and stronger than Taehyung so they placed their hopes onto her.  

Taehyung wasn’t really a fan favorite of the Capitol either. Although he was attractive, he was really frail-looking and very emotionless during the chariot ride.  Also, sponsors mostly ignore tributes from 11 because their track record in the games is atrocious.  So any outside help for Taehyung was immediately ruled out. 

Taehyung wanted really badly to give up, but he thought he owed it to his mom to at least try his best to go back home to her.  

During training he simply attempted to figure out survival methods for different arenas.  He thought it was pointless to try to become a natural born killer in three days.  It was also stupid because if he trained with a weapon he would have to go through a whole bloodbath to get his hands on it, so he stuck to survival skills and some hand-to-hand combat.  

No one approached him for alliances, it being a well known fact that tributes from 11 were quick to go and even if they did last long, they almost always preferred to work alone.  

His interview was pretty forgettable.  The interviewer mainly poked fun at him for being skin and bones and even laughed “i would ask what’s your strategy but it looks like a mere gust of wind could take you out!”  

When the games finally began, Taehyung found himself underground in some complex cave system (lmao luna reusing arena ideas, so fresh and fun and original-) 

When the canon went off he ran away from the bloodbath, knowing some tributes already had him pinned as an easy kill and not wanting to give them a chance to corner him.  Later that night he found out that his counterpart had died during the bloodbath, likely from being too ambitious and trying to engage combat with the careers.  

he hid during the first few days, but he managed to stumble across a tribute’s little ‘camp’.  It looked like the careers had managed to kill someone but left all their supplies behind, finding no need for them since they had a monopoly on the Cornucopia.  So Taehyung ransacked the bag and found night vision goggles, a tarp, a handful of crackers, a bottle of water and a sling shot.  

Unlike the rest of the tributes, Taehyung was now able to maneuver around the caves rather well because the night vision goggles helped his visibility.  This meant he was able to find really good hiding spots that others would pass by without knowing.  Life at 11 also prepared him for starvation, meaning he fared better than the others who were getting weaker by the day by malnourishment.  

It wasn’t until it came down to five tributes that Taehyung had to start fighting.  

Two careers managed to find him, they chased him down a tunnel and cornered him.  Little did they know that the Gamemakers prepared mutant blood sucking bats in this particular cave.  They swarmed in and attacked all three tributes, but Taehyung was quick to get out his tarp and cocoon his entire body, successfully shielding himself from the bats.  The careers weren’t so lucky and died.  

3 remained.  A girl from 4 and a boy from 9.  On the 17th day a canon sounded and during the fallen segment Taehyung was able to conclude that 9 must’ve killed 4.  

Taehyung was hoping to outlive 9 simply by hiding but things didn’t pan out that way.  On the 20th day 9 had found him, armed with a spear.  Taehyung attempted to outrun him and used his slingshot to hit a loose rock from above 9.  This rock fell and along with it came down many others, one large enough to pin 9′s lower leg and trapping him.  

Taehyung then used his own spear against him, piercing him in the throat.  

He became victor, and when he first woke up in the capitol his mentors were by right his side, apologizing for not haven taken him seriously.  

The capitol affectionately nicknamed him the ‘underdog’, now finding his borderline mute nature adorable during the victor and mentor interviews.

He now lives in Victor’s row with his mother, very rarely leaving her bedside and spending his days caring over her conditions.  

Now whenever someone is killed in 11, their family can expect an anonymous donation from Taehyung the next day.  He knows firsthand what that is like and wants to use his money for good.  The citizens like him very much because of this although he never really speaks to them.

As a mentor he is really kind to his tributes, although pretty quiet.  He devotes an equal amount of time to both of them, being really strict about not playing favorites.  He also practically breaks his back every game trying to get sponsors for his tributes.  

Whenever the tributes die, he personally sends over a month’s worth of winnings over to the fallen’s family.  

the other Victors like him well enough because of his silent but calming persona.  Particularly District 6′s Yoongi and District 8′s Hoseok.  

[uwumessenger]

I saw you watched Haikyuu and played Obey Me. I was wondering what the demon brothers think of an MC that plays volleyball? You can pick what position they play. Keep up the great work💕💖

ooo interesting ! ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

i may have been just a tad bit extra with these but i also ended up keeping these more general so MC’s position on the team is whatever u as the reader want it to be~

Lucifer

confused as to why you like it but is willing to learn more about it bc ~must satisfy human to also satisfy diavolo~

he helps you start a volleyball team at RAD bc they dont have one yet

it’s co-ed for now, but later down the road there’s enough members, organization, and structure for it to be separated into boys and girls teams

he’s sure to hold a straight face when you talk to him about volleyball or when he watches you play but is fanboying big time on the inside hehe

doesn’t understand the game but makes an effort to understand it, though he acts like he knows a lot about it when hes around you

secretly goes into the human world to watch the olympic volleyball team 

ends up becoming the manager for the team

kinda aggressive, the coach has to make him step outside sometimes

when you return to the human world he is sure to keep the RAD team intact

also is sure to attend all of your games no matter what

at first he is super chill but eventually turns into a very loud and passionate fan of your team LOL

Mammon

he doesnt make an effort to understand the game on his own time. learns how it works by watching you and your games (ngl that’s how i learned too)

also picks up insight on volleyball whenever he listens to you talk about it

acts bored during those conversations but his brain is taking lots of mental notes bc it’s something you really like

ends up never fully understanding how it works but knows enough about volleyball to gAMBLE

definitely forces levi to make bets with him, but he always supports your team when doing so

will try to give you tips and find ways to cheat for you to win or do better

and he knows that you wont actually do what he says but finds it funny when you do something ridiculous during practice out of the blue

when you go back to the human world he still bothers you with out-of-this-world pointers

if he cant make it to one of your games (usually bc he has no way to get to the human world) he will record his reactions and commentary then send it to you

totally didnt steal that idea from levi

Levi

he has probably watched the demon-anime-equivalent of haikyuu!!

understands the game very well bc of that

but since the game is super over-exaggerated in the anime hes lowkey disappointed when he watches a real game (is even more disappointed when he watches humans play bc they’re not as powerful as demons)

so he likes to try out the moves he sees in the anime with you and mammon when you’re practicing on your own time

when it’s a game day he’s dressed head to toe in your team’s merch, ready to cheer you on!

of course, at first he doesn’t wanna go bc ew crowds ew major social setting ew oTHER BEINGS

cheers very passionately and puts other cheer squads to shame with his energy

livestreams EVERYTHING and by everything i mean only your plays and lowkey irritates the others bc he constantly interviews them

when you go back to the human world he always records his reactions and commentary, sometimes with mammon or asmo, and SPAMS you with them

but he gets to go to your games most of the time and never forgets his fans and glow sticks!!

Satan

immediately studies the game and its culture

he asks you questions and is openly curious about it around you

you demonstrate how the different positions work but go in depth on your position specifically

when he watches you his eyes are literally sparkling lol

he thinks it’s super cool that he’s learning about a real human sport from you

eventually becomes a manager for the team like lucifer, and takes lots of notes about what he observes, and his input becomes valuable and crucial to the team

rare moment when they get along but definitely fight for the bench when it comes to really big games

also likes practicing with you when you need independent practice before a big game or tournament bc of how serious and intense he can be

when watching your games in the human world he still takes notes and shares them with you as well as the RAD team

will bring numerous stress balls to squeeze to those games just in case so he doesnt um kill the ref or opposing team if they piss him off

Asmo

simply wants to know if people who play volleyball are as good looking as you ;)

he doesnt understand why you’re into something that makes you sweaty and gross while you could be doing something else

but also thinks you’re really hot when you’re playing heheh

doesn’t really make an effort to teach himself about how the game works but he knows to cheer by reading the expressions on your face

unlike most of the others he doesnt stick around when you’re practicing

throws a lot of pre-game parties but doesnt allow anyone who supports your opposing team to join

dresses up for games like levi, but is much more stylish with it

designed the RAD team uniforms and jackets/sweatshirts

after returning to the human world he secretly designs new swag for your team and is overjoyed when you guys use it !!

sometimes he watches your games with levi and sends you a cute selfie when you score a point

Beel

excited bc it’s a SPORT

can talk about it with you for h o u r s. he’s really curious about how you play!

lots of working out and practicing together, mainly focuses on helping with your stamina

really good at blocking tbh so if you’re into spiking like hinata he’s a great person to practice with

doesn’t show up to all of your practices bc he has his own team sport to focus on but will sneak a peek every now and then to see how you’re doing

since it’s not a sport that has weight/height classes he doesnt understand when you diet every now and then in addition to your training

but he always goes to the games to cheer you on with the others since you always pull up to his

when it comes time to go back to the human world he promises to attend as many of your games as he can

and he does!! if he cant go it’s for a legitimate reason

even while you’re apart he’s still very encouraging and admires your skill and perseverance

Belphie

wonders how you have the energy to play such an intense game, especially since there’s really no strict time limit like taekwondo

but he does make an effort to understand how the game works so he can keep up with you when you talk about your practices or games

watches the demon-anime-equivalent of haikyuu with levi to understand it more

goes to your practices every now and then and will fall asleep sometimes, unless it’s a super intense practice game, then he’ll watch

he thinks you’re really fun to watch in action, and attends all your games

makes sure you’re always well rested and that you don’t overwork yourself no matter what

even when you go back to the human world he checks in on you when he knows you have games or long practice days

also he has 10/10 fallen asleep while snuggling a volleyball and thinking of you. so YAYAYAY congrats, MC, he associates you w/ volleyballs and thinks they’re comforting until he watches a game and sees you get hit hARD in the face