#bc girl these feel so hollow .... to me at least ..... if i heard this back then too i wouldve rolled my eyes .....

[u3pxx]

IM SO PISSED OFF FOREVER

preemptively saying that any school thing that needs me to wake up at 7:00 am on a sunday is fucking stupid

[daddyhausen]

• kinktober — day twenty nine : corruption — malakai black •

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{ masterlists } | { kinktober 2022 }

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{ warnings } — 18 + { minors do not interact }, corruption, hatefuck, cnc, free use outdoor sex, stranger sex, submissive/dominant dynamic, oral sex { male receiving }, face fucking, throat fucking, hair pulling, restraints { chain }, breeding kink, impregnantion, rough sex, vaginal sex, unprotected sex, penetrative sex, male + female orgasms, multiple orgasms, squirting, internal cumshot, vaginal creampie

{ word count } — 1k

{ genre } — smut

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{ taglist } — @stxrrlightwrites13 @boutmachines @omg-im-such-a-masochist @baysexuality @legit9thlunaticwarrior @slut4kennyomega @wardlow @alexisquinnlee-bc @sammiejane22 @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @omegasluvbot @damnnhausen @writtingrose @drummergrl1310 @nicoleveno14 @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin @baybay-boom

{ comment if you want to be added to the taglist }

.*•…………………..•⊹•…………………..•*.

“look at you…” he peered down at your kneeling, chained up naked form

“like a beautiful rose blooming in the middle of a snowstorm”

he tilted your head up, making you look at him

his natural hazel green eye held some emotion, some empathy towards you

it glimmered with humanity, revealing that there was still a shred of the man he was once formally known

the other piercing white, like the aforementioned snowstorm

ghostly and hollow

the phantoms of his fingertips fluttered lightly against your pristine skin

grazing the tops of your shoulders with featherlight touches

you held a resentment towards him

after all you of him, not of what he wanted with you

more so nothing of how you came to be in this predicament

naked and bare at his mercy to use and you with as he saw fit

he’d merely beed rumour amongst the townsfolk

an old tale husband’s would tell their wives to keep them from running off into the woods at night

a womaniser he was, or at least something far more mystical of the sought

many the women of the town, pure untouched women had ventured into the forest during the early morning hours

soon returned back the next sunrise, belly full of child

or so that’s what you have heard

“what do you want with me?”

you questioned with slight sombre in your voice

despite your best efforts as to not display any form of fear or weakness in front of him

he knelt down to your level

a small smirk falling across his lips

the metallic twinge of his lip ring glowed under dull moonlight

“you intrigue me…” he paused for a moment

“you’re the first to reject my advances. the first to be completely immune to my charm” he remarked, almost bewildered by the fact

“i intend to change that”

at this moment it had come to your attention that his skin was just as bare as yours

you often found yourself struggling to not stare at his impressive size

“darling…i’m gonna corrupt that pretty little head of yours. make you nothing but a mindless little cockslave”

at this point you don’t know if you should be frighten or extremely turned on

your mind was leading towards the latter

his gaze was hypnotising, he had a thumb placed on your bottom lip

prying your mouth open as he guided the tip of his cock past your lips

“take it…” he growled as you tried to at least keep your dignity, squeezing your mouth shut

it was no use, he was just too powerful

he forced his cock down your throat,

sighing with pleasure as you choked and sputtered around his size

his inked fingers weaved through your hair

tugging roughly as he fucked your throat

you could already feel his persuasion start to take effect

despite the roughness of his thrusts, the way his cock constricted your airways for seconds at a time

it felt like pure bliss

hot tears pricked the corners of your eyes at he hit the back of your throat

he groaned with pleasure as you gagged around his shaft

the sensation causing him to cum then and there

he buried his cock in the back of your throat, emptying his seed onto your tongue before pulling out

“fuck you-” you sputtered, gasping for air

it seems his persuasion still had yet to take effect

“oh little one, you’re about to”

he flipped you onto your stomach, propping your ass up

your chain bound wrists grasping at nothing but air

“how about i breed you like i’ve done with so many, make you carry my seed and birth my child?”

he teased your cunt with the tip of his cock

“how about i make you my little toy, i’ll keep you here. safe and sound, free to use you whenever i please?”

admittedly the idea did sound promising, however you did not disregard the situation and how it came to be

“go to hell, you bastard”

he peered down, noticing your cunt dripping with want

he chuckled to himself

“so rebellious…” he tsked. “it makes me crave you even more little one”

he forced his cock past your slick folds, instantly fucking deep into you

a low groan of pleasure escaped your lips, much to his amusement

oh no. he charm was working!

you could instantly feel yourself unwind, relax into his violent thrusts

“so fucking wet for me, darling. if i didn’t know any better i’d think you’d wanted me all along”

“sir…” you whimpered absentmindedly

malakai took note of the honorific, signalling that he knew he’d almost gotten you right where he wants

“what is it, little one? tell me what you want?”

he slammed into you roughly, prompting a response.

“please breed me sir…please fill me with your seed”

there it was.

his goal finally achieved

“of course, my angel…anything for you”

you bucked your hips back against his thrusts

your cunt full of his thick cock

crying in pleasure as he ruined you

oh how you begged for him

your screams echoed like haunting shrills through the forest

those poor townsfolk would think another victim had fallen to his mercy

but not you, you revealing in the pleasure

your were nothing more than mere holes for him to use and you loved it

“sir…” you panted breathlessly

the only response from his was a soft hum

“i’m gonna cum…”

“then cum” he proclaimed through lustful growls

your mind went blank, euphoria rushed through you

your stomach tightened then released with waves of your orgasm

gushing around his thick cock

“fuck yes, little one. make a mess for me”

he had fallen in love with the sight of you like this

naked, chained up, head buried into the dirt of the forest, pretty cunt cumming around his cock

“i’ll make sure to fill you up, my angel. you ‘re not leaving until a fuck my child into you”

“mmm…please sir…that’s all i want…”

he adored the sight, you now filled corrupted by his cock.

at his will, you’ll do anything he says

without announcing, he filled you with his seed

thick spurts of white coating your insides

breeding you with every last drop of his cum

he he pulled out of you, some of his cum dripping from your void

he gathered it onto his fingers, pushing it back into your cunt

making sure not to waste a single drop

“now…i own you”

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[yesimwriting]

The Promise of Rain

A/n finally writing that Kaz Brekker x reader angsty-fluff where the reader is all sunshine-y and Kaz is dramatic as always lol 

Might make this a blurb series bc i like this dynamic so much lol

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x sunshine-y reader 

Summary: After a mission gone wrong, Kaz has a conversation with the reader (who’s a runaway princess) about what happens to people who stay near him. 

-- 

He once said that he didn’t believe in Saints. A moment later he conceded that perhaps they existed in order to appease Inej, but he was quick to tact on that if Saints existed they didn’t care about him. Inej and I had exchanged a look, she pleaded with me in silence to let him be. I opened my mouth despite the look in her eyes, but he had walked away before I could get any words out. 

He believes that the Saints don’t care about him, but as soon as he was dragged in by Jesper, bleeding and more broken than usual, it had started to rain. The rain is a promise. The rain is a sign that he will wake up. 

I tap a finger against the forgotten book on my lap, ignoring the dried blood I’ve been too anxious to wash off. When Kaz wakes up he’ll either scold me or partially tease me for waiting here by his bedside. The rain continues, cascading down invisible hope. 

“Save your prayers, even for you the Saints won’t regard me.” Kaz. His voice is raspier than it should be and his slight condescension is blighted by the tired flatness of it. But it’s him. He’s speaking. 

I tear my gaze away from the window, almost forgetting to tamper down my relief before finally looking at him. I haven’t known him long enough to see him in any level of defeat, but I’ve heard enough stories. The fictional exaggeration of those that fear him have made him seem so immortal. Some part of me must have internalized that because to see him like this, to see him so human is too intimate. 

“Don’t be so narcissistic.” Something about Kaz always leaves me feeling challenged, like each comment is some kind of dare. I adjust my posture. “I wasn’t praying because I knew you’d be okay.” 

His expression is unchanging. “So much faith in me?” 

There’s a soft edge to his words, an attempt to twist some kind of awkward denial out of me. Some days I don’t think Kaz enjoys anything and then other days I think he enjoys any misstep in my words. 

I shrug, pushing down the flood of relief still attempting to crawl out of my chest. “You’re always okay.” I scratch the back of my wrist idly. “It seems the safe bet.” 

“Don’t tell me you’ve been taking gambling advice from Jesper.” 

I half roll my eyes. “No--Jesper and I don’t play together anymore.” I let out an easy sigh. “Last time I beat him he bordered on a hissy fit.” There’s the slightest hint of upturning at the corners of his lips. “I should go tell Jesper and Inej you’re awake.” 

“I think you should change out of that dress first.”

He was more likable when I thought he might die at any second. “Wow--Kaz Brekker the professional stylist.” He has no right to judge the formal gown I’m in. Yes, my outfit is ridiculous, but I’m only wearing it because the Crows needed someone they knew at a merchant’s party for a part of some scheme they wouldn’t share the details of with me. “Yes, I’m aware that this dress is more tulle than anything else, but I’m only wearing it because I was helping you.” 

I wait for some retort about how he could have managed without my assistance or some kind of comment about how I didn’t need such a large dress to flirt and distract the guards as the Crows snuck into the merchant’s private office. “You fit in there more than you said you would.” 

From anyone else, I’d consider this an insult. “I was making an effort for the sake of your plans.” 

“I saw you before I went into the office, you knew the dances, the man took your hand.” 

That’s the weirdest observation I’ve ever witnessed someone reflect on. “That’s how those dances tend to work.” I don’t hide the confusion in my expression. “How much blood did you lose?” 

Kaz’s piercing gaze drops to the blanket on his lap. “Not a concerning amount.”

“Why do I feel like we have different definitions of ‘concerning’?” 

His eyes flit upwards, a partial smirk playing at his lips. “We define a lot of things differently.” He pauses, “You defined the life you slipped into so easily tonight as something you could never do.” 

“I can’t.” What is his problem? “One dance is different than an eternity of planning teas and marrying some man who only keeps me so I can rear his children.” 

“You’d end up marrying someone who could give you things.”

He better not be implying I should be having children. I’m seriously starting to hope he did lose a significant amount of blood because that would be some kind of explanation. “I don’t want anyone to be giving me children right now, but I guess your concern is ni--”

“No, no,” he screws his eyes shut for a long second, “You know what I meant.” I stay silent. “You’re technically a princess, y/n, you could have more than the Barrel.” There’s an odd silence as he pauses. “Someone like you should have more than the Barrel.” 

He speaks like his word is law. That’s the one habit of his I can never seem to forgive. Is Kaz telling me to go home? To go back to a mother who dreams of marrying me off and a father with a temper that often leads to violence? He may be Dirtyhands, but he is no one to tell me who to go back to. Not after I risked my anonymity to get him into that merchant’s office. 

I shut my book and stand in one swift motion. “I’m going to tell Jesper and Inej that you’re awake.”

“Y/n.” I ignore him. “Y/n.” Again, I ignore him, approaching the doorway. The rustling of sheets leaves me frozen, hand on the doorknob. “Y/n.” 

Without thinking, I turn on my heels while glaring. There’s no way he’s proud enough to have climbed out of bed wi--and he’s standing. Standing almost directly behind me. 

“Kaz Brekker, I am going to say this one time and one time only.” I keep my words measured and my tone flat. No room for argument. “You just had nine stitches put in near your heart, get your ass back in bed before that is no longer your only injury.” 

He pauses, lips pressed together into a tight white line. And then his mouth opens, pried open by an oddly light sound. Did he just--Did Kaz Brekker just laugh? He doesn’t laugh. I didn’t think he was physically capable, and now he laughs while I’m threatening him? I should hit him on principle alone and damn the consequences. 

“Did you--” I’m gaping at him with a rage I am not accustomed to. “Did you just laugh?” 

Kaz is quick to shut his mouth. “You did swear you’d get me to laugh one day.” 

Saints--now he chooses to have some kind of sense of humor. “Not while I was threatening you for being an idiot after saying my lineage means that I’m meant to be trapped in the life I desire least.” 

“I didn’t say that.” I raise an eyebrow. “You don’t deserve more than this because of your family, you deserve more than this because--” He cuts himself off with a sharp sigh. “Do you remember what happened the day we met?” 

He had wanted to return me to my father for the money. I had managed to convince him I could be more useful working for him without profit. The first day had been tense, I had sworn to myself that I would hate him forever. 

“I remember really hating you.” I remember thinking him beautiful despite his darkness. “I remember it started raining on our way here.” 

“You had a hood, but you pushed it off your head to feel the rain.” I don’t remember that because indulging in the rain is instinctual to me. “You looked at the rain, and you smiled--and then you saw a woman with a child and you took off your hood and gave it to them.” 

“What does that have to d--” 

“Watching that felt like intruding on an intimate moment I had no business knowing about, but it wasn’t that to you. That moment was nothing to you because that moment was who you are.” 

I don’t understand what he sees in something I can barely remember. “Kaz, what does that have to do with anything?” 

“I’m the monster that children believe live under their beds, I’m the bastard of the Barrel, I’m someone who gets blood on everything near them.” His gaze is harsher than I’ve ever seen it as he focuses on the dried blood splotched across my hands and arms. “And then I can’t even help you wash it off.” 

Those last words are the closest to broken I’ve ever heard him sound. “Kaz--”

“And you’re the girl who looks at the rain like it’s a gift from the Saints.” 

Is he implying what I think he’s implying? Even if I believed him such a source of evil, even if I felt like touch mattered that much--why would he care? I keep the much more frightening implication at bay as I exhale. Clarity will only make this conversation worse. “That doesn’t matter.” The words leave me in a low whisper. 

I stare at the ground until his silence is something I can no longer bear. Looking up as cautiously as possible, I take in his expression. I’ve never seen him look so--so enraged. “It doesn’t matter?!” He doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s practically seething. “I’ve viewed your presence here as temporary since you first came and despite that, when I saw you there…” The breath he lets out is practically pained. “When I saw what your life is meant to be--I didn’t want you to go.” 

The admission breaks something hard in my chest. “I never wanted to go.” My eyeline drops to the ground. “I didn’t want to go when you were trying to make me, I didn’t want to go when it was only for that evening.” I swallow a lump of emotion restricting my throat. “When you were bleeding out and Jesper had to carry you back here I let myself imagine what it’d be like if you died. And it hurt. It hurt so badly I asked myself if I would rather never know you than feel that pain.” 

“Would you?” His voice has gone hollow. 

I finally look up again. “No.” That word leaves me more bare than any physical touch ever could. 

“I stain everything that stays with me,” his voice has seamlessly shifted back to a tone meant for business, “Me wanting you to stay is more than enough reason for you to leave.”

My chest aches as emotions I’ll never be able to place a name to pound against my chest. “I’m a princess that ran away from her family and tried to befriend her kidnapper--you can’t possibly be narcissistic enough to believe that you’re what’s corrupted me.” 

“Y/n,” his voice is gravely again, the way it was when he first woke up. 

“No. What could you possibly think I’d say to that?” He’s insane--I’m not even sure I understand what he’s implying. “You know I’ll never agree with what you’re saying, so I have no idea what kind of reaction you’re looking for.”

“Maybe a genuine one.” 

The comment is so frustrating I can’t help but roll my eyes. The irony of Kaz Brekker asking for a genuine reaction to an emotionally heavy comment is almost laughable. “My genuine reaction is that you’re acting like an idiot because I don’t agree with anything you’re saying, but calling someone an idiot after they’ve been stabbed in the chest is a little insensitive so I can’t give you my genuine reaction.”

Kaz half-scoffs, “You don’t agree? Y/n--are you hearing me!? I want--I want you to stay.” Even angry, the admission warms me. He lets out a frustrated sigh. “More than that I want--” 

“What?” 

He shakes his head once. “I want something that can never be because I can’t give what needs to be given to get it.” 

“Kaz, if it involves me staying you don’t need to give anything for that because I don’t want to go.” 

“I-want-you-to-stay-with-me.” The admission is pried from him by some invisible force. He speaks so fiercely the sentence comes out as one angry word. 

He speaks so quickly a part of me is convinced that I misheard him. I watch him as he moves back to the bed, sitting down in a way so resigned I wonder if I blurted something out on instinct. 

“Kaz,” this is embarrassing, “I wanted to stay with you even when I wanted to hate you.”

I take in his measured expression, the only thing implying any kind of reaction is the way his eyebrows draw together. “Don’t say that, you don’t understand what that means.” 

“Why? Because you’re convinced you’ll ruin me?” 

“Y/n, we’d be together with a wall between us, keeping us from ever touching.” 

“I will tolerate any amount of damage you’re so convinced staying with you will bring, I will stay with you and never touch you and think nothing of it--but I will not stay with you just to stand in front of a wall.” I let out a tired breath. “I will stay with you but my one condition will be that you have to let me know you.” 

Kaz’s intense gaze wavers. “The first thing you’ll know is that me allowing you to stay is a testament to my greed.” 

I give him a sharp look, “It’s not greed if I want to be here.” 

He half sighs, leaning against a pillow as he turns to look out the window. “It’s raining,” he muses, “The Saints must have done that for you.” 

The sentiment is so soft my heart feels like it’s constricting. “I thought you didn’t believe in the Saints.” 

“If they exist, they do so for people like you.” 

I push past the emotion in my chest as I move to sit in the same chair I was in earlier. “I was honest when I said I didn’t pray for you.” I scratch the back of my arm, a coldness passing over me. “I didn’t pray because I knew you would be okay because you had to be.” 

“They wouldn’t have saved me,” he mumbles, “Or maybe they would have for you.” 

I shake my head once, staring at the rain with more fascination than before. 

--

General Taglist: @theincredibledeadlyviper @grishaverse7 @lonelystarship

[mha-princess]

Canon Dabi x insecure reader where she’s insecure about her body since she’s not thin. She voices it to him after seeing a pretty and smaller girl flirt with him, and he shows her how much he cares for her? NSFW pls! Thank u!

stop your whining [dabi x fem!reader]

A/N: I didn’t proof this so bc I really wanted to post today also I’ll be posting my 1k event soon! - Anako ✿

Genre: canon-verse, smut, drabble

Word Count: 1.5k+

Warning: unprotected sex, breeding, degradation

You continue to twirl on the bar stool, your attention long adverted from the chatter dispersed around you. It wasn’t an uncommon for you to tune out of the league’s conversations, especially when the topic was new recruits. New female recruits. To be honest you didn’t think new recruits within the group was necessary, but then again it wasn’t your call. You rolled your eyes at the thought and let yourself tune into the girl riding Shigaraki’s dick, desperate to receive a compliment.

“I really admire your ideologies. I’m willing to follow through with any task given. Any task given.” She enunciates, taking a step closer towards both Dabi and Shigaraki. Her small stature made her seem sweet, cute even, but her eyes had mischievous intent. The two men glance at eachother exchanging an understanding look before, looking back to the girl.

“Thank you for your interest. We look forward to your loyalty. Kurogiri be a gent and show her out.” Shigaraki, responds.

The girl grins as if she just had an interview and was sure she got the job. As Kurogiri shows her out you watch her sway her hips, the skirt she’s wearing a little less than admiring. After Kurogiri is out of sight you sigh in relief.

“Thank god that’s over. Fucking groupies, this is getting old.” You sigh raising from the bar stool.

“Her quirk will be of use to us.” Dabi shrugs.

“Shapeshifting? Tch, isn’t that what we have Toga for?”

“You think I’d drink animal blood?! Gross Y/N!” The blonde exclaims, partially offended.

“Wouldn’t put it past you babe.” You shrug, “I’d rather you be able to do both that way we don’t have some groupie in the league.”

“Why so judegmental now Y/N? Aren’t you all about giving people chances and bullshit like that?” Dabi snarks, shoving his handing into his pockets.

“Not skanks,” you reply, “Well, maybe she didn’t come off as a skank to you seeing as you were pretty friendly.”

“Jealousy is fucking ugly on you.” Shigaraki rasps, opting to leave the room with the others rather than hear you bicker with the black haired male.

“Jealous? The hell is there to be jealous about?!” You shout, the leader sending you the finger before leaving.

“Shigaraki’s right.” Dabi agrees, beginning to stroll away to his room, “It’s also a huge turn off.”

“Turn off ? It’s not like I ever turned you on. You’d rather the skimpy skinny bitch, right? She seems more your type.” Dabi stops to turn around to face you.

The expression on his face was unreadable but the aura he was emitting was deadly. He then inches toward you causing you to take little steps back.

“Y/N.” Is all he says and you stop right where you are. As he closes the space between you he grabs your arm, the force of his fingertips crushing into your muscle.

“The room. Now.” He grits, shoving you in front of him.

“Don’t fucking shove me. Better yet keep your hands off of me. ” You mumbled, making your way down the hall.

When you enter the room Dabi slams the door behind you.

“So fucking unnecessary,” you voice, back turned to him.

“No, your fucking unnecessary. And fucking look at me when I’m talking to you.” He demands gripping your shoulder and flipping you around.

“Didn’t I say to keep you damn hands off of me?!” You hiss, pushing his hands off of you. Dabi, refutes by taking a death hold on your waist, pushing you into the foot of the bed. His hands grip tighter and eventually your sides begin to run hot, the smell of singed clothing flooding the air.

He draws closer to your face, he gets so close you can feel his breath ghost over your lips, “Now listen you fucking brat, I don’t know what your problem is but you better fix that shit real fast. I don’t like to play with bratty bitches.”

“Your the bratty bitch,” you bark. Dabi’s lips draw together before he pushes you over the footboard and onto the bed. He then climbs inbetween your legs and loops his fingers around what’s left of your belt loops.

“You can either tell me what your problem is now or you can wait until my cock is rupturing your fucking cervix. ” he offers, pulling your pants off along with your underwear.

“Do your worst, bitch.” You spit.

Now I know it seems like that was a badass move, but it was a bad decision to say the least. Dabi was never a gentle lover and now that you’ve pissed him off, he definitely wasn’t going to take and precautions. You were being a bitch and if the only way to fix that is fucking you, then so be it.

Without any care he yanks you up and takes off the remainder of your clothing. Your lips purse into a thin line, the feisty part in you wanting to say something, but with the mood you had put him in you knew better. In one motion your back hits the mattress once more.

The male on top of you doesn’t even bother stripping from his clothing. You watch as he undoes his zipper and shimmies his pants below his hips. He sucks air into his mouth before pushing it out causing spit to fly onto your slit as well as his cock.

He then grabs the back of your knees, his fingertips still hot from the incident earlier, and throws them onto his shoulders.

“Don’t open your mouth until your ready to tell me what the hell is wrong with you,” and with that remark he plunges the whole of his cock into your pussy. You let out a shaky gasp which is quickly met by a hand around your throat.

“Not a fucking peep.” The male urges, drawing out of your folds before thrusting back in. He slams his hips into yours hard enough to send you moving forward on the mattress. The sheets beneath you losing there stability. Your pussy clenches around his length in an attempt to lessen the impact of his thrusts.

“Stop clenching. Your gonna rip my dick off,” he growls, and it sends chills through out your body. Dabi had such a disgusting mouth, vial even, but in the end it’s only added to your pleasure. The pleasure which you couldn’t admit you were indulging in. The thought of Dabi fucking you with no mercy only made you want to piss him off more.

Your voice ached to be heard as he continued to fuck your greedy pussy. The sounds of slapping and low distasteful grunts echoed off the hollow walls as he continued to reek havoc on your slit. The closer he got to cumming the closer he neared your cervix.

“You know what? Your fucking cute like this. Being a stubborn fucking brat. Making me fuck you just to get you to act right.”

Cute? Through the rough pleasure that you were feeling that word made something burn inside you.

“Cute? You don’t think I’m fucking cute.” You wither through labored breaths. He takes the pressure off of your neck, interested in trying to hear you explain yourself as he pounds your cunt.

“And why wouldn’t I think your cute, mm?”

“Because you were into that thin bitch. Talking to her, grinning at her. Bet you couldn’t wait until I left so you could fuck her.”

“If I wanted to fuck her I would’ve fucked her. But here I am balls fucking deep in my cunt. In the pussy that belongs to me.” His vulgar words, spark a heat in your tummy, leaving your insides twitching.

“So that’s what the attitude was for? Because you thought I wanted to fuck some rando?” He chuckles before taking the back of your thighs into his hands. He then pushes them back as far as they can go before pulling the length of his cock out, leaving only the tip. Your hand scrambles to meet his stomach but by the time your fingers meet his skin he’s already eight inches deep in your pussy. The head of his cock kissing your cervix.

“Dabi!” You cry out, your toes curling as he slams the weight of himself into you. The boy leans down and places a tart kiss on the shell of your ear.

“So pretty when you cry out like that.” You whimper at his words and weakly shove at his chest.

“Take some out. I told you what was wrong.” A feeble whine lacing your tone.

“I know that’s what we agreed on but your sucking me in. I couldn’t pull some out if I tried.” He whispers, dragging his tongue up your ear. You groaned, squirming under him it was as if he just kept adding inches. Nevertheless the pain you felt was something you were use to, something that you only used to add to your pleasure.

“Gonna cum.” You cry out as he rhythmically fills you up, his cock crashing against your womb again and again. You feel you thighs tremble as your body locks up around him. Your hands slam down gripping the sheets as your orgasm courses through your body. Dabi moves his mouth to kiss you as he lets his own orgasm spill into you. Once you regain your breath you lazily push him off of you.

“Heavy.” You mumble, grabbing the sheets to cover yours self, but before you can pull them over your chest they’re ripped from your hands.

“Don’t.” He demands, letting his hand trail up and down your lower abdomen as he lays he head on your chest, “Let me rub here. It’s cute.”

“Stop calling me cute.” You say rolling your eyes.

“But that’s what you are. Your a damn brat as well but your beautiful, perfect body, perfect smile. It warms my shallow ass heart.” You fluster at his words as he continues his actions.

“Dabi don’t say-.”

“Will you be quiet?” he sighs, “I love you. Your perfect. I wouldn’t dare think of another girl so stop your whining.” You obey and entangle your hand in his hair .

Nothing else needed to be said on your part or his. You were aware of you over exaggeration of the situation and you were glad you had a boyfriend who cared enough to hear you out, even if it was after destroying your cervix.

Masterlist | Request Rules | Request Box

[pirunika]

My Problems with Astraeus & MC

when i look past all the fanon n worldbuilding n the storyline i think for my MC,,, the route w/o anything added leaves a bitter taste sometimes... provided its shorter then others but its still... and im bored

For example... when complete w how the MC acts in his route i dont like how Astraeus calls her his 'greatest muse' and at one point likens her to the main art piece in a gallery. Normally itd b cute but here its :///

bc she does act as distant as a piece in a museum.

She never tries to understand him or be there for him... 'get down to his level' in a way, take care of him... idk give a little massage something... even he's bleeding out he's the one taking care of her... not only that she's constantly annoyed by how he speaks, by his greatest passion (poetry) i never feel like she knows things abt him or tries to get to know him (or like what she knows) and naturally he puts her up on a pedestal to admire.

They kind of just...have sex. And Astraeus has this mysterious connection to her heart for some reason other than that do they even have anything in common... She's the subject of his intense love but now that i read carefully i don't think its returned. Girl at least throw a 'I'll never leave you' or sth... Which is why i think he brings up the idea of a seperation a couple times bc he doesnt feel secure... Or thinks he s holding her back & and is afraid of her comparing him to Hades' in possessiveness (which was also unpleasent fyi... there can b a mid ground)

Who says... 'Yeah if you wish we can get seperated' when remembering a beloved union... im not all hard on MC tho dw now its Astraeus' turn xD 'would mine really be more binding' my dear boy MC was about to be sacrificed when you found her SHE DIDNT SIMPLY JUMP INTO YOUR ARMS

Yeah it looks like your husband does think that despite being in the middle of the events. I was offended for her here and wished she'd turn his proposal down as it looks like it doesnt mean much to him and he will leave as soon as he finds the next shiny thing. He seems fickle.

Another thing... Id have liked a serious apology from Astraeus abt how he acted in Hades' route... This -

aint it chief. Like i give sm excuses to him n actually find him a lot more charming then Hades there despite it being his route but that does not change the fact he did try to forcibly kiss her, threatened her, forcibly kissed her this time and grabbed her.... A couple times. Yuck. The problem isnt that he did those id have expected worst from a man who spent centuries in that hellhole but that the story takes this too lightly. No i never found it funny how he treated her partly bc the canon mc was terrified. Wtf

Speaking of that Hellhole...

You literally didnt. You were waiting in Tartarus for forever if not for the MC. Um how dare you??? You could say he's trying to get Herakles' attention here by making MC seem like a bystander but i dont think so tbh. It feels like he does believe this. And its such a weird ooc moment... Hades literally kicked his ass w 1 arm... Twice. Later he's like ohhhh MC youre so powerful and it sounds so hollow

Another > when they mention her heart 'calling him' like a phone call. You really didnt have to make it sound like that lmao. It feels like she rang him -_-; 'heard your heart what do you want' like... this very sentence haunts me. İdk Astraeus get milk on the way home

[seita]

the contract girlfriend | semi eita (m.)

˒ pairing: semi eita/reader ˒ genre: angst, fluff, smut ˒ wordcount: 𝟺𝟹𝟹𝟷 ˒ tags: friends2lovers, fake dating, musician!eita ˒ cw: dirty talk, loss of virginity, virgin kink if u squint: sweet talking, pet names, mean girl ex, mutual pining, unrequited love(?), angst with a happy ending, UNEDITED

+ note: this is a collab along with the other writers for the kkc! i would also like to thank @bokutobabie​ 𝖿for her help with this plot bc it was kickin’ my ass.

˖˖ summary: when he was an unknown musician, his girlfriend left him. now that he’s made it, he wants to make her jealous at a fancy party so he can get her back.unfortunately, he asks you to be his fake date. the downside? you have a very real crush on him.

⇦ back to navigation.

collab masterlist!

© all content belongs to seita 2020. do not modify or repost.

“I have a proposition,” is never a sentence you want to hear when you sit down to lunch with your best friend. Especially when that friend is Semi Eita. 

“What..?” you ask apprehensively, taking the cup of coffee he’d obviously gotten to bribe you. You took it regardless, not willing to pass up the offer of free coffee.

“Nana is gonna be at the party this weekend,” he muttered, swirling his fingertips around the rim of his cup. You felt your heart drop into the pit of your stomach at his words, “I want you to come and pretend to be my date.”

Just as you’d expected. Not something you wanted to hear.

Nana was Eita’s first love, his first serious relationship, really. They got together when he was fresh out of highschool, the two of them spending almost all of their time together. 

It was when his career as a musician was just beginning, he was playing small gigs and there was nothing really successful. But he was happy. And he thought she was too.

Until she dumped him in favor of a much more famous man. He was a big movie producer and offered her a leading role in an upcoming film. Of course, she took the offer. 

She would much rather be mingling with the rich and famous than be hanging out with “a nobody like him”, as she put it. You remembered the hurt Eita felt, the tears and heartbreak it took almost 3 years for him to get over. 

“Why?” you finally asked with a sigh, “What will that accomplish?”

“Well if she gets jealous, she might want to get back with me,” he grinned impishly, shrugging his shoulders like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

You recognized the look in his eyes, one of determination. So you sighed, nodding your head, “Alright, I’ll be your date.”

He beamed, uttering out endless thanks to you as you went on with your lunch until he decided to go back to the studio. He slipped his hat on low, making sure his mask was in place before hugging your goodbye and leaving you sitting alone at the table. 

You sighed, downing the last of your coffee. Your spirits were low; you had no idea what to expect from this party. 

Would she fall for it and run back into his arms now that he had had his big breakthrough and became mainstream? She surely must have known by now; his band was already breaking records, wracking up fans by the thousands, his songs were being played on the radio. 

Maybe now that he was famous enough, she’d actually want to be with him. Not that she deserved him. And he didn’t deserve someone like that, either. He was too good for her, too good to be treated like that. 

You let out another sigh and stood up, grabbing your purse from the back of the chair.

This was going to be painful. You weren’t sure how you would cope with pretending to be his girlfriend all for the sake of him getting back with her. 

Surely your heart wouldn’t be able to take it.

Because as much as you tried to hide it, you were irrevocably in love with your best friend.

The entire getup was supplied to you by Eita; from the jewelry to the dress itself. You felt like a different person. Despite the fact he was your best friend, you hadn’t attended one of the big parties since his band’s breakout single. 

This particular party wasn’t in celebration of his band, but he was invited regardless so naturally he went. He was still enjoying the high life and was getting used to tasting fame. You were glad it hadn’t actually affected his personality. 

“You look nice today,” Tendou complimented with a breezy smile. He was nursing a glass of champagne, which was uncharacteristic to say the least. He had always been more of a whiskey kind of guy.

“Thanks,” you shrugged, “I’m not really a fan of this kind of thing.”

“I know,” he grinned, “You look terribly uncomfortable, that’s why I came over to be such a good pal and keep you company while your darling boyfriend is off galavanting with the people!”

You rolled your eyes, “He’s not my boyfriend, Satori.”

He giggled, taking glee in your embarrassment, “But you wish he was.”

“Are you already drunk?” you raise a brow, making him snicker.

Someone called his name from the crowd and he flashed you a knowing grin, “Eita may be too dim to see it, but the rest of us aren’t!”

You pout and find yourself alone once again. Looking around, you search for your ‘boyfriend’. Suddenly, a heavy arm falls across your shoulders and the familiar scent of his cologne reaches your nose. 

“Hey, babygirl,” he coos, making your heart skip a beat at the pet name. He sounds so fond and you feel yourself smiling before he busts out laughing, shaking his head before letting his arm fall from your shoulders, “That’s just so weird. I dunno if I’ll be able to get through this tonight,” Ouch. “Anyway, Nana just arrived so…” he takes your hand but you can’t bring yourself to smile as you feel the ache in your heart at his words.

If he takes note of your deflated behavior, he doesn’t say anything, merely leading you over to the balcony. You breathe in the fresh air and feel the ache in your chest dull.

“Eita? Is that you?” a perky voice makes you cringe. 

“Nana,” Eita breathes, tugging you against his side as she breaks through the crowd to stand in front of the two of you.

Her smile promptly disappears at the sight of you crowded in Eita’s arms.

“Eita...who’s this?” she asks, a smile returning but you can tell it’s plastic. 

You remembered everything you had gone over with him before the party; the two of you had sat down for a few hours to sort out your story and rules. It had felt like you were making a binding contract with him when you told him no kissing on the lips. It was your only stipulation and you swore you saw a brief downward tug of his lips when you told him before he beamed and readily agreed. 

Maybe you were imagining that disappointment in his eyes too. 

“This is my girlfriend, _____,” Eita introduced, giving your arm an affectionate squeeze.

“Oh,” she gave you a strained smile and held out her hand for you to shake. When you slipped your hand into hers, she gave it a tense squeeze that made you flinch, “I’m Nana, Eita’s ex.”

“I’ve uh…” you cleared your throat and pulled your hand away, “I’ve heard stories about you.”

“All good I’m sure,” she replied flippantly before setting her sights on him once more, “We should totally catch up, you know? Reminisce about the good old times~”

The sultry, flirtatious undertone made your skin crawl. Even if you weren’t really dating, she thought you were and for her to not respect that made you angry. But still, Eita pulled away and placed a kiss against your temple that set your heart ablaze.

“Sure, why not?” he grinned and gave your hand a squeeze, “You go have some fun, sweetheart. I’ll catch up with you later.”

You gave him a hollow wave as he quickly vanished into the crowd without a second glance your way. You knew this was the end goal but still, to see him walking away hurt. A sense of rejection was seeded within you and you felt your spirits slowly being crushed. 

It took all your power to continue on with the party until it felt acceptable to leave. Throughout the party, you kept getting glances of the two of them. 

Eita wore a serene smile, his eyes sparkling as he looked at her. Whenever she looked at him with a flirtatious smile and a subtle caress, you felt jealousy pool in the core of your stomach. You wanted to march over there and scream “he’s mine!”. But you couldn’t, because he wasn’t really yours. 

He was only pretending to be yours so he could have her. 

Your phone vibrated as you downed your final glass of wine, making you look at the screen with a frown.

“I’m heading to Nana’s apartment for the night! See if Satori can give you a ride home, thanks for the help!!”

Your jaw ached from how hard you were forcing yourself to keep from crying. When you tried to find the elusive redhead, you found he was drunk and dancing with two girls so you decided to leave him be and simply call an Uber. 

For just a short time, you had simply been a contract girlfriend for him to use. Though you knew it was fake, it still felt so nice to be called his. 

So you went home, removing your expensive clothing like Cinderella after the ball and decided to relax on the couch. It was only a little past midnight when you got out of the shower, turning on the TV to watch whatever late night nonsense was playing. 

Eita thought that being with Nana again would be everything he wanted. But as he laid beside her, her head resting on his naked chest, strangely all he could think of was you. 

When he asked you to pretend to be his date, he hadn’t thought of the possibility of how it would really feel. Sure, he had touched you before, naturally. Sometimes he hugged you and held your hand. But that night, when he placed the kiss against your head, the way your eyes lit up in response had his heart stuttering when he thought back to it. 

Truth be told, when you told him he couldn’t kiss you he felt so...disappointed. He had thought of assigning the same rule but decided against it at the last moment, secretly thinking about how nice it may feel to kiss you. 

He had quickly dashed that though because of how wrong it was to think of you like that. 

Yet there he was, thinking of you with his ex girlfriend back in his arms again.

“Eita?” Nana asked, lifting her head to look drowsily at him, “Are you okay?”

“Um...yeah,” he clears his throat, “I should probably get going.”

“Why?” she whines, “Don’t worry about her.”

“Huh? Who?” he asks, confused.

She giggles and clings to his arm, “Your girlfriend! She doesn’t have to know!”

His heart ached at those words -- true, you weren’t really dating but he felt like he had done something wrong. And for some reason Nana’s blatant disregard that he had cheated with her made him nauseous.

“I...I just want to see if she made it home safely,” he gave her a tight lipped smile and picked up his phone. 

She rested against the pillow, head propped up on her hand as she watched him dial you. When you didn’t answer, he gave a frustrated sigh and dialed Satori instead. 

It rang a few times before the slurred voice of his best friend answered, “H-Hey man, what’s up?”

“Satori, did you drop _____ off okay?” Eita asked.

The redhead made a confused sound over the line, “What’re you talkin’ about? She never asked me to take her anywhere.”

“What?” Eita frowned, “Did you see her leave the party?”

“Gotta tell ya, man, I wasn’t watchin’ her,” Tendou replied, a feminine giggle in the background making Eita frown, “Wasn’t that supposed to be your job?”

Eita sighed, shaking his head, “Alright, dude, just...let me know if you hear from her.”

“Hah? Why would she call me?” Satori chuckled, “Why don’t you just check on her? Better safe than sorry...I mean, she’s a cute girl, you never know what kinda scoundrels were eyeing her in that pretty little dress tonight. If i was a less honorable friend, she would be the one in my bed right now!”

Eita scoffed and hung up as his friend started cackling gleefully over the line. Eita stood up, shaking off Nana’s grabby hands as he slipped his jeans back on.

“You’re not going back to her, are you?” she pouted.

Eita sighed, “I gotta check on her. No one knows where she went off to.”

“She’s a big girl, c’mon Eita~” she purred, letting the sheet fall from her bare body as she crawled towards him.

He shook his head and threw his shirt on, grabbing his keys off of her dresser before moving to the door, “I gotta see her.”

He ignored her obnoxious whining as he bolted out the door. Any sleepiness that was in his system had evaporated at the worry he felt over you. 

The drive to your apartment was quick enough, it went by in a blur. He took two steps at a time up to your place on the 3r floor, not patient enough to wait for the elevator. 

The knock on your door made you jump. Throwing the pillow you held in your lap aside, you checked through the peephole to see a familiar head of sandy blonde hair. 

Pulling the door opened, you looked at him with wide eyes, “Eita? Aren’t you supposed to be with--”

“I couldn’t get a hold of you,” he breathed, stepping past you to enter your living room.

“And?” you laughed, shrugging your shoulders.

“I got worried! Why didn’t you go home with Satori?” he sighed, sitting on your couch with a huff.

You chuckled again, though it was humorless, “He looked like he was having fun, I didn’t want to impose.”

He sighs and relaxes against the couch. As you sit next to him, for a second things feel normal. 

You almost feel okay, as if you could forget about everything happening. It’s so easy to forget your crush on your best friend and the fact he wanted to be with another woman. 

It was easy to forget it all until it came rushing back into your face in the form of Nana. 

You and Eita were having a lunch date, as was normal for the two of you. Unfortunately, amid his retelling of a story you had heard a million times over, she showed up with an obnoxious screech of his name.

“Eita!” she squealed and rushed over to him, throwing her arms around his shoulders. 

You let out a soft sigh, your eyes falling to your half-finished plate.

“Nana…” he greeted, eyes wide in shock, “H-How did you find me? What’re you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you, silly!” she chirped, taking a seat in his lap in a way that was far too comfortable. Suddenly, her gaze shifted to you and the smile vanished off of her face, “Oh, you’re here.”

“Nana…” Eita sighed but didn’t make any move to get off of him.

“What? I thought you were going to break up with her?” she whined loudly, making your cheeks burn as people looked over at the two of you, “You said you were going to dump her!”

“I--” Eita started.

“You should go,” Nana grinned at you, shrugging her shoulders as she hugged Eita closer to her, “Seriously, he’s mine now. He was fucking me at that party instead of you.”

Although nothing about your relationship that night was real, the humiliation you felt at that very moment was. She was smug that she had gotten your boyfriend to cheat on you and was making a spectacle of her victory. 

Biting your lip, you reached behind you to grab your purse, “I-I’ll see you later, Eita.”

“______ wait!” he called but you were already rushing towards the entrance. 

You had no idea that he was hot on your heels until you reached your apartment. You went to close it only for the foot to intercept it. Looking over your shoulder, you found Eita panting before he was pushing the door open completely.

“_____ I--” he paused, “Why are you crying?”

“I am?” you wiped under your eyes and frowned when you felt the moisture there, promptly wiping it away, “Sh-She completely made a fool of me, Eita. I don’t know what you ever saw in her and I don’t know why I helped you get back with her.”

“I know, look…” he ran a hand through his already messed up hair, “I feel the same, alright? I’m sorry I pulled you into all this, _____, I really am. Alright, I told her to get lost.”

You sighed and took a seat on your couch, “She only wanted you back because you’re famous now. You know that right?”

He chuckled and sat down, nodding his head, “I guess I was just...hoping for something I guess.”

“What?” you asked.

He shrugged, “I don’t really remember anymore,” he confessed. 

“Well,” you didn’t quite know what to say, simply leaning back on the couch to appear relaxed, “I always wondered why you didn’t date after her anyway.”

He shrugged once more. How was he meant to say that he didn’t want anyone impeding on his time with you? 

“I guess...no one really came along, you know?”

You nodded, “I guess it’s the same for me.”

He snorted, “You’ve never even dated anyone before.”

“You don’t have to bring that up!” you whined, playfully shoving his shoulder.

He laughed, melodic and pretty, “I think it’s cute. What’s your story then?”

“Eita, we’ve been friends since high school, you know everything about me,” you smiled, feeling your cheeks warm at the soft look he was giving you.

“Yeah but…” he bit his lip, fingers inching closer towards you, “You’re...pretty and sweet. There’s plenty of good looking guys around me that have tried flirting with you before. Hell, Satori even said he was into you.”

You smiled and shook your head, “No, none of them are right…”

“Who is right then?” he asked, unable to hide the hopefulness in his voice.

“Eita…” the smile falls from your lips, your heart hammering in your chest as he moved closer towards you, “I…”

“Hm?” he hummed, his nose brushing against yours, breath fanning over your lips.

“I...I won’t regret this, will I?” you asked. 

His breathing stuttered against your skin and he shook his head, bringing his hand up to cup your cheek, “You won’t.”

After those words left his mouth, he brought your lips to his in a sweet kiss that was perfect for a first. You could tell he was experienced, knowing exactly how to move. 

There was something sweet lingering on his tongue that you found utterly addictive. 

You wish you could find it strange or even scary to wind up in bed with your best friend. The fact your entire relationship was going to be changing should have concerned you but all you felt was anticipation. 

He hovered over your body, the two of you stripping your clothes with unhurried ease. His body was firm from working out, a habit he never let go of from his time as a volleyball player. 

His hands were calloused and warm as they touched your body, caressing your breasts in a way no one ever had. The feeling of him thumbing over your nipples had your back arching in arousal, your panties becoming soaked embarrassingly fast. 

He was hard and throbbing in his jeans, the constricting material almost painful but all he really cared about in that moment was seeing all of you. 

Hooking his thumbs into the band of your panties, he pulled the material down. He cursed under his breath at the strings of slick that attached to the fabric. 

“You’re so wet,” he breathed, licking his lips as he tossed your panties over his shoulder to be lost somewhere in your room. 

“Sh-Shut up, don’t tease me…” you mumble, feeling embarrassed by your body’s own reaction to him.

He smiles, pressing a soft kiss against your knee, “I’m not, baby. It’s sweet...I love knowing you react so honestly to me.”

“Eita…” you whined, reaching up to cover your face as he spread your legs.

“Hmm?” he bites his lip, sliding two fingers between your folds to spread them apart. 

Your hole clenched around nothing, drooling more slick for him to gather on his fingertips. He used it to rub smooth circles around your clit, the sweet moan that fell from your lips at the pleasure he so easily gave you. 

“I’ll get you nice and prepped, baby,” he cooed, the nickname making your heart soar. 

You were so wet, making it easy for him to slide two thick fingers into your pretty cunt. You clamped down tight around the digits, making his cock throb at the mere thought of what that would feel like around his hard cock. 

Twisting his wrist, he crooked his fingers up to hit your sweet spot, his thumb coming up to circle around your clit. The inexperience of your body made it so easy for him to bring you to the edge. 

You had never felt this, no one had ever touched you so intimately so your body was more reactive than ever. 

Reaching down, you wrapped your hand around his wrist, meeting his gaze with wide eyes. He smiled, capturing his bottom lip between his teeth.

“You cumming?” he asked, though he could very easily feel your walls spasming around him. 

Still, you nodded, mouth falling open but no sound escaping, “E-Eita…”

“C’mon, baby,” he groaned, fasting his pace to fuck your dripping cunt. The sounds were wet, lewd and if you were with anyone else you would have been completely ashamed. But it was Eita, the person you trusted the most in the world. He groaned as your body began to quake, “Let it go, pretty girl. Cum for me, that’s it.”

At his encouragement, you released with a shrill whine of his name. He eagerly fucked your gushing cunt through the high, only slowing when your back met the bed again. 

Pulling his fingers from your hole, he was mindful of your sensitivity. He still couldn’t resist placing a fleeting kiss against your throbbing clit before sitting up to meet you for another heated kiss. 

Your body was still trembling as you wrapped your arms around his neck, your thighs spread open around his waist. His clothed cock hovered above your sensitive core and he made sure the rough material of his jeans didn’t make contact.

“Please, Eita, c-can we…?” you asked, biting your lip, too embarrassed to utter the words.

He smiled and nodded, brushing some hair behind your ear before sitting up to discard the remaining clothing on his person. His skin was pretty, tanned and built. His cock reached his navel, dripping precum down the length which he used to easily slick his cock up with his fist. 

The sight of your best friend jerking himself off over your naked, trembling body felt beyond taboo. But it only made you more eager to have him. 

“Please, Eita...I want you,” you breathed. 

He flashed you a smile and sat up on his knees, sliding the dripping tip between your folds. Brushing past your clit, you whined at the sensitivity. 

“It might hurt a bit, pretty baby,” he whispered, positioning himself at your entrance. 

You had already guessed it. He was big just by looking at him. But nothing compared to when he began to sink into you -- that’s when his size really became apparent. 

“Ah, Eita!” you whined, digging your nails into his shoulders.

He hissed but didn’t stop you, eyes falling to where his cock was steadily stretching you open. When he got halfway in, he pulled back until the head remained within your clasping walls. With an experienced roll of his hips, he pushed his cock back in, this time easily bottoming out. 

“Fuck!” you squealed, back arching. 

He could feel you gushing, dripping down his balls. There wasn’t a single sign of pain in your features so he quickly began to move, the both of you riled up and eager to have each other completely. 

Everything felt so right, so sweet. Having him in your arms made you feel so happy. 

“You’re mine now, baby,” he groaned, burying his face in your neck, “All mine. N-No more, fuck, of this friend shit...I love you.”

“Eita,” you whined, tears pricking your eyes as you hugged him tightly against you, “I love you too. P-Please make me cum.”

“Fuck, I’ll get you there, baby,” he promised, reaching between your bodies to find your clit. Your walls immediately clamped tight around him as he played with your little bud, “C’mon. Cum for me. I wanna feel you cream, pretty baby. Can you do that for me? Show me how good this cock makes you cum.”

His filthy words, whispered in his sweet, deep voice were enough to throw you over the edge. As you squeezed around him, trembling and gushing through the amazing orgasm, he spilled within you. A soft whimper of your name fell from his lips as his balls throbbed, cock spitting out load after load until you were so filled, it dripped from your cunt. 

Finally, the both of you stilled. He leaned back to look in your eyes, tucking some damp hair behind your ear before pecking your lips. 

“I meant it, you really are mine now,” he said.

You nodded, “You’re all mine too.”

“Well,” he gave you a teasing grin, “You have to share me with my millions of adoring fans.”

“Don’t be so full of yourself,” you giggled, biting your lip as he pulled out, “You have thousands at most.”

“Oh, way to bruise a guy’s ego,” he laughed.

You were grateful to have him, everything with him was so easy. Everything between you was fine, perfect even. And you didn’t have to worry about ever losing him to another girl again.

[jiminrings]

OKAY LISTEN idk if someone or you already planned sth like this but how about y/n finally decides to confess/tell jk but someone else claims to be her before she could do it so * cue to the angst bc y/n sees the whole thing/she hears from her friends * and ofc koo eventually finds out bc that b*tch doesn't even have the fucking lunchboxes 😑

cold senior!y/n x stem major!koo masterlist :D

stem koo's the three-peat king for having the best research papers, but he's the worst when it comes to believing the right person

"i think i'm gonna tell him."

you say it to no one in particular, really, but you hear yoongi rISING from his nap on the couch

it wasn't meant to wake him at all

it was just an epiphany of sorts that popped into your head

physically felt as if your head would just bursT if you didn't say it out loud to affirm your own thoughts lmao

"for real???" he's rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, very evident that he wouldn't wake up to finish his thirteen pending assignments but he 10/10 would wake up to hear your epiphany

yoongi is awake for the action!!!! lmao does professor roux from calculus think that he wakes up at the morning and doing shapes (or whatever they teach at calc) is the fIRST thing in his mind????

"interesting," he nods solemnly when you nod your head, reaching out for a fist bump before he plops to your shoulder, "i suggest dressing like a virgin wearing H&M when you confess. it would hit close to home."

yoongi's the touchy affectionate one between the two of you but you'll forgive him bc he's still sleepy

NOOOOOOO

jungkook doesn't look like a virgin wearing H&M :((((

his clothes aren't from there lol

"pass."

"say that you're a top verified contributor both in quora and brainly."

PLEAAAAAASE SJWHSHWHHWV

"nice idea," you snort as yoongs genuinely thinks that it'd get jungkook to propose on the spot, "but no cigar."

"pretend to love big bang theory."

"you're getting onto something here."

"your hobby is fact-checking rick and morty."

"yoongi wow you are on fIRE today-"

"your guilty pleasure is not wearing protective gear during experiments."

"where is this coming from??"

"OH!!!! i'll pretend to mug him or something and you can attack me!!!"

....

??????

yeah yoongi's train of thought just crashed

you were pretty sure he was going on a science theme there wHY DID IT DERAIL

yoongi looks confused because you look confused, as if he didn't just give you the mindblowing idea,, free of charge

lol but no he really didn't

"i'm not doing any of that shit, yoongs."

"oh yeah???" he squints at you and hollows his cheeks, taunting you entertainingly while he worms his way to your lap to nap again

"what are you planning to do?"

holy sHIT this is nerve-wracking

she feels like she's gonna pass out the whole time that she's been rehearsing this in her head

she's been waiting outside the classroom for twenty minutes now and the bell finally rang and she can't believe it!!!! omg is it game-time now

everyone's filing out of the room and she could just feel that jungkook would come out of the room last-

ALRIGHT FUCK THE BELL RANG

you could do this!!!!

everyone's filing out of the room and you know in your heart that jungkook would stay behind, his routine being to politely chat with the professor before he leaves

you're a lil nervous alright

you're scanning the room and there's only a few people left and your eyes instinctively go to the mini desk next to the door and-

FUCK

DID YOU FORGET TO BRING IT HOME YESTERDAY??????

goddamn it

yesterday was when coach jeong was mad because someone from your team just hAD to bring beer!!! and not even have the common sense to put it on a discreet thermos or sth and you know!!!! to not drink it in public or in front of the coach!!!!

doing laps on the oval field will now make you hurl on command just by thinking about it

you physically did not have the cognizance to go and fetch the lunchbox to wash it,,,, or like even move at all

FUCK IT

how are you gonna swipe the lunchbox now? now when the professor's packing up, jungkook's loitering around the classroom, and there's this girl who's-

wait

who's this girl??

who is she and wHY IS SHE EYEING THE LUNCHBOX

fuck it!!! here goes nothing

she's stepping completely into the room and making sure her block heels generate enough clacking,, hands already moving in practiced moments as she attempts in making it seem like she's rushedly putting the lunchbox bag into her tote — as if it's from there, and she's always done this

jungkook hears noises coming from the back of the room, eyes widening before he comes up the stairs in record time

"no. get your own."

he grips the girl's wrist, about to pry off her hands from his lunchbox

he hears her giggle sweetly, the melody being something he's heard before

"i did. after all, i did get you these."

:O

"hyeji?"

hyeji's a pretty girl!!! a nice girl in jungkook's year that wears fit dresses and cartier bangles :D

she stands out really, sometimes literally because she appears in the school's flyers and advertisements

"hyeji," jungkook breathlessly connects the dots including the fact that she looks caught in the act; holding his lunchbox, her tote bag open, and a peek of another completely different lunchbox in her other hand, "i-it's been you this whole time?"

hyeji blushes, sheepishly tucking her perfectly shiny and neat hair behind her ears, "you caught me then."

kook laughs both in nervousness and giddiness, pushing his glasses up and suddenly conscious that he should've worn contacts, "b-but how? we don't share this class."

:O

hyeji bursts into a giggle, blushed cheeks staining further than the five minutes she tried getting the perfect amount

"r-right! kinda amazing what depths you'd go for a person you like, hm?"

jungkook is about to pass out

HE'S PUT IN A SITUATION

a situation that he likes and is too giddy to find a reply for

he apparently doesn't need a reply, because a chair scrapes harshly against the floor and it brings him down to reality immediately

you cannot fucking believe what you just witnessed

you stand abruptly from the seat you've been frozen in with a great deal of urgency because you cAN'T stand to be in this room any longer

they actually forgot that the two of them aren't alone

that you're still here

little miss hyeji's just as shocked

you feel stupid and even more stupid that you're still holding a stupid notebook you even decorated

it has a doodle in the front and all the remaining pages are of the copies you've replicated on jungkook's sticky notes — the same ones you've been trying to make perfect just for him

"y/n!" he sputters when your backpack accidentally leans too much to your side and hits him on the way out

"move."

you’re feeling everything but fine and god you just hated that you always willed yourself to move oN

you’re beyond mad when you put on your jersey!!!

you’re irrevocably dejected when you put on your cleats!!!!

you feel cheated on when you zip up your duffel and walk all the way to the field!!!

it’s a combination of the type of frustration that makes you want to move plus the type that paralyzes you, the whole thing unlike anything you’ve ever felt before

you’re clearly in your head and frankly, you’re just too good

too good that there's no game at all because the only thing happening is you scoring

there's no passing going on or the sort

everyone is just :O looking at their captain to be in the most furiously determined state that they’ve ever seen you in

you don’t even realize that you’re the oNLY one moving in the whole field

“alright, alright — jesus christ! go to the bench and sort your head out, captain,” coach jeong literally has to JOG over to your spot to jolt you

oh there he is again

jaehyun just had to bench you didn’t he

sometimes it’s lost on you that jaehyun, just like seokjin, used to be your senior

he hated juniors with a burning passion and you’re the ONLY one he’s taken a tolerance for

((you lent him your umbrella and it coincidentially had to be a bad day for him tHEN that made him like you))

you’re having none of it though because this time, you’re the one who has the bad day and the captain title does nothing to appease you

“sure, coach.”

you mumble just as lively and walk to completely the fURTHEST side of the bleachers, being so far out that you could barely see your team

what are you supposed to do? simmer in the thoughts you so badly didn’t want to have in silence??????

"y/n?"

the voice you least expected to hear perks up right next to you

what the hell is jungkook doing here now??

he looks lost, two hands clinging onto his backpack straps before tentatively looking at you again

“did i do anything to upset you?”

so he wants to ask that?

you snort automatically, suddenly wishing that you didn’t walk this far because you can’t make an excuse that jaehyun’s calling for you

"because my bag accidentally hit you on the way out? no, jungkook."

jungkook knits his brows in question, seemingly take offense to what you’ve just said to hom

"we're not exactly associated for me to be mad at you, are we?" you emphasize even further, not caring the least bit that your words have an edge to them

he deadpans, pursing his lips before sarcastically smiling at you

".... so you're upset at me?"

://

jungkook takes your silence for him to delve further, not paying attention to how your eye is begging to twitch at him

"i asked if i did anything to upset you, and you said no. but that doesn't necessarily mean you aren't. you could be upset at me even if i didn't do anything to you."

wow

you sound like a real fucking nerd jungkook

"do you have any idea how condescending you sound right now?"

kook barely has a solid inch on you yet the nagging feeling that he’s belittling you makes you grip your fists tight, posture wavering

"so you do admit that you're upset at me?"

he’s not the most patient person either but something about you and the situation right now just makes him tick a little faster

your eyes narrow at what he’s aiming to get at, your hand on your hip feeling heavy at this point

"what does it matter to you if i'm upset or not? we are not-"

"i am associated to you!!! even to a degree!!! you walked me home!"

jungkook is the one who breaks first and he doesn’t look fazed to have opposed you so loudly, still standing by himself

"i would walk anyone home."

"no you wouldn't-"

"i would walk anyone who was as vulnerable and as anxious as you were, jungkook!!"

it is true

you’d walk anyone home within reason regardless if they were jungkook or not!!!

the guy in question only looks at you straightly, brows not stubborn but still just as unrelaxed

:((

"good to know. then you're not upset at me, and i didn't do anything to upset you."

"sure."

you only say just to spite him, about to turn your back and leave him completely to go back to your practice game

jungkook surprises you again and flips a switch just as quick as your mini argument of sorts escalated

"anyways!! i'm sorry for being a little off when i interviewed you that day. i got a 100 on that assignment, by the way :))"

what?

what’s he still doing here?

he’s talking about his grades and whatnot to you as if literally twenty seconds ago did nOT happen!!

"why are you still-"

"and the one who's been giving me my lunchboxes confessed to me today!! for hyeji to be the girl giving me them, it makes perfect sense."

you shrug away the weirdness that jungkook’s moved on from the argument as fast as this, trying a take two for a peaceful conversation

this time, you’re the one who unknowingly flips a switch at her name — something so foreign and sudden yet something you quickly grew to hate

"i wouldn't be so trusting if i were you."

that seems to hit a nerve on him again, making him scoff in reply

"good thing you aren't me then."

what is ON with him????

"watch it. i'm your senior, kid."

you’re more irritated than the first and second time around that you’ve been agitated this day

"why? are you normally this self-absorbed that you wouldn't trust a girl who's confessed??"

self-absorbed?

you aren’t the most selfless person ever but god do you know for a fact that you’re not vain as jungkook’s insisting you to be

you hate him.

you hate this version of him that isn’t the same jungkook you’ve known to like ever since the start of the semester

"same thing as polygraphs not being a hundred percent reliable. anyone could tell the truth as long as you ask the wrong questions," you detail on further because jungkook loves details, right? might as well give him several

"or did you even ask?"

jungkook scowls as if you’ve insulted his mother and his entire lineage, face contorting into everything but warm

"what does it matter to you? didn't you just tell me that we aren't associated? why are you projecting all your moaning on hyeji?"

WHAT

WHAT????

"you know what? maybe i am associated to you. i think i'd also tell this to everyone i'd walk home — maybe you shouldn't be too trusting, huh? maybe you shouldn't just let anyone walk you home."

the tears this time are more insistent to come out this time but you’d rather dIE than for jungkook to stain your pride like this

"no one should walk me home, besides you? is that what you're trying to say?"

no!!

for fuck's sake you aren't even finished with your point!!

before you could continue, jungkook shakes his head at you — the most disappointing shake of his head that it curses you soft

"what am i even doing? you wouldn't understand."

he closes the distance that’s been alarmingly shorter throughout the whole time, jungkook being the one to break it

"because no one gives you lunchboxes. no one exerts effort in making you cheerful — no one wants to go the extra mile for you, and no one wants to walk you home."

he's insulting you right to your face and that’s when your dam breaks, lips quivering impossibly as you stare him down with a genuinely pained gaze you didn’t know you carried

"you wouldn't know what i feel, because no one likes you."

jungkook gets the last word in.

he leaves you in the same field he's first approached you in nervousness.

today, he leaves it differently.

sweat isn't the only thing on your face but instead it’s the frustrating hot tears you haven’t had in awhile

your fists are balled but there's no power to the anger behind it

you’re almost always alone outside the company of the closest friends you’ve ever had — but this is the only time that you truly felt that you are alone.

today's a good day to give up on jungkook.

[sunder-soul]

first of all your work is AMAZING- like damn that smut? 👀 but anyway- i’ve had this concept for awhile imagine that reader was the one who made the design for the dark mark for tom riddle? like y/n is an artist and likes to draw, paint, all that jazz, and she saw the symbol in like her dreams or something and decided to draw it. and then tommy boy sees it and takes a liking to it like, “...i could use that-“ i don’t if this is a weird ask or not but i thought it was interesting. 🥺👉🏻👈🏻

So this has been in my inbox for so long bc I just couldn’t crack how I wanted to tackle it and then yesterday BOOM I had an idea so here I am!! Hope you enjoy  💖

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. 

Consume

Summary: Reader looks into Tom Riddle’s tea leaves on an unlucky day in Divination. Something looks back.

Word count: 1.5k

Content warning: none.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

You’ve heard of the domino effect before, but never has it been so grimly demonstrated to you than in that exact moment standing in front of the entire Divination classroom with the only spare seat left opposite Tom bloody Riddle.

It started (or at least, as far as you can tell) an entire week earlier when you’d walked in on Ophelia Greengrass sobbing in the fourth-floor girl’s bathroom during second period. Up until then you’d not spoken more than half a dozen words to Ophelia across your entire time at Hogwarts, but it had felt wrong not to say anything – and as it turned out, Ophelia had been in dire need of someone saying something to her. She’d been dating Lestrange for a little over three months and by the sounds of it things were not going well.

So of course you’d comforted her as best you could but it was hardly surprising when she tentatively approached again you the next day, and the next, and the next, and then every single day for an entire week there had been a new horror story until yesterday you’d finally had enough and told her that she should break up with him.

That, of course, was why he’d confronted you in the corridor that morning on the way to Charms, angrily accusing you of losing him his girlfriend. And that was why you and Lestrange had been caught by Peeves with a watering can full of Bulbadox juice brandished gleefully in his spindly hands.

Which was how you both ended up in the hospital wing for the entirety of first period, Lestrange with boils all over his face and down his back, and you with them on your hands from where you’d managed to shield yourself.

You’d left Lestrange behind complaining loudly as the matron peeled back his school shirt, sprinting all the way up to the Divination tower at breakneck speed, throwing the trapdoor to the classroom open and scrambling inside, the trapdoor falling shut behind you, the very final domino.

“Sorry I’m late, Professor,” you gasp as you spin around to face her. “Peeves caught me and Lestrange!”

The class snickers.

“That’s quite alright, quite alright…” Cassandra Trelawney says, deep and ringing, “we have not yet started, take a seat with Mr Riddle and we shall begin…”

You freeze. Riddle…?

That’s when it hits you.

Lestrange always sat with Riddle in Divination.

And you’re so late that everyone else already has partners.

You turn to see Tom Riddle sitting at the back of the room looking at you with a polite but blank expression on his face. The class giggles again. The vast majority of Hogwarts students are at least somewhat in love with Riddle – beautiful, intelligent, polite Riddle, orphaned and poor but refined and successful. Better yet he barely speaks to anyone, leaving a lot of empty space of endless possibility for people to fill in with their personal daydreams.

He scares you.

Those horrible boys that hang around him remind you of flies hanging around rotting meat. And if they’re the flies, that makes Riddle…

You grit your teeth and step forward, weaving between the other tables and snickering students to take your seat, dropping your bag to the floor and eyeing the tea set on the small table apprehensively.

“Begin your readings!” Trelawney calls.

You frown and turn to Riddle questioningly. “We’re doing tea leaves?”

“Tasseography,” he corrects smoothly, leaning forward and picking up the burnished copper pot with one hand and pouring steaming tea into the little china cup in front of him.

You blink at him silently. There’s something manufactured about his face that you can’t put your finger on.

“Shall I go first or would you like to?” Riddle asks casually, pouring you a cup, too.

“I don’t mind,” you mumble, looking away.

Riddle sets the pot down and picks up his cup in long, elegant fingers, lifting it to his lips. “The instructions are on page seventy-nine,” he says after taking a sip, looking around the room disinterestedly.

You pull out your book and find the right chapter and scan the first few paragraphs as Riddle finishes his tea, sipping absently at your own, and by the time he finally hands you his cup your heart rate has finally returned to normal from running up eight flights of stairs.

“You have a scattered-type formation,” you say, checking it against the diagram on your page, “and it’s north-west oriented.”

“Mhmm,” Riddle says noncommittedly, his dark eyes level on the parchment before him as he takes notes.

You lean forward over Riddle’s cup and frown as you compare it to the pictures in the book. “That looks like shepherd’s crook,” you say, pointing to a cluster shaped like a pinched hook, “which means… either the responsibility to protect, or the exertion of power and authority over a group of people.”

Riddle scoffs very lightly, his lips curling into a slight smirk as he continues to write.

Something about it had clearly struck a chord with him, but you pointedly train your eyes back on your book. “Oh,” you frown, checking his cup again. “Or it’s the old glyph for seven.”

Riddle stops writing. You look up curiously at the sudden lack of his quill scratching evenly on his parchment to find him perfectly still, his eyes on your face. “Seven?” he repeats, tone distinct.

You nod and push your book around to show him. “The number seven used to be drawn like that, too.”

Riddle’s eyes drop to the page and linger there for a moment before he resumes taking his notes – though his expression is much more preoccupied than before.

But something in Riddle’s cup has caught your eye. Beside the shepherd’s crook/number seven is a lump of tea leaves so distinct in form that it’s almost comical – the round of the cranium, the square of a mandible, and gaps in the leaves to indicate two eye sockets.

“Oh,” you say in surprise, pulling your book back around. “Wow, that’s pretty clearly a…”

You trail off, frowning. You’ve noticed the tea leaves below it, the long twisting trail that leads directly into the skull’s mouth. A cold, creeping feeling is curling in your stomach as something about the image before you seems to move, you can almost see the thing writhing, it almost looks like a…

“How are we going?” Trelawney asks, suddenly right beside you.

You jump, looking up at her in panic. “Fine,” you say quickly.

She lifts her brows, assessing you thoughtfully. “Hmm,” she says, before glancing at Riddle. “And you?”

“Fine,” Riddle echoes smoothly. But he’s not looking at Trelawney.

He’s looking at you.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

The image worms into your thoughts like a deep root, twisting into places you don’t expect to find it and spreading itself out more and more. The dreams are first, and then the nightmares, and finally the night terrors. The skull hovers before you, its pitch, hollow eyes bore into you, the snake coiling endlessly with its fangs yawning wide.

Something about it is cold and evil, some sort of strange perversion of an ouroboros, the eternal snake broken by the skull’s mouth.

Consuming it.

“What is that?”

Your head snaps up from your parchment feeling like you’ve just been jolted awake from a deep sleep, and it takes you a second to process the sight of Tom Riddle before you, his eyes fixed attentively on the parchment strewn on top of the essay you’re supposed to be writing.

He’d caught you drawing it for the hundredth time.

“Nothing,” you say hastily, sliding it away under a book. “Just a doodle.”

Riddle’s eyes flick to yours. There’s a cold rigidity to his expression that you don’t like. It’s a coldness that feels horribly familiar.

For a moment you almost think he’s going to force you to show him, but after a long moment Riddle looks away and he’s gone, disappearing off further into the library. You exhale in relief and pull out the parchment again.

Drawing it made the thoughts go away for a bit, like manifesting the horrible thing distracted it from its need to live in your head. You lift your quill and carefully write a single word next to the skull.

Consume.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

The parchment goes missing the next day.

You never prove that he took it, never even mention it to him, but Riddle’s eyes have a cold glimmer to them when he catches your eye in Divination next, the smallest curl to his lips like he’s daring you to bring it up.

The dreams abruptly stop.

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

When you see it next, it’s in a photo on the front page of the Daily Prophet beneath a terrified headline, a spectre hovering just like it had in your nightmares at school years prior. Except this time it’s real. This time it’s above the burning remains of the family home of a prominent Muggle-born politician and Voldemort’s name is a shadow on everyone’s lips.

You stare at it on the page, the snake writhing in ink, the black, hollow eyes of the skull, and you think about Tom Riddle’s cold smile watching you from across the classroom, his manufactured beauty, the boys that hung around him like flies around rotten meat.

He’s named it the Dark Mark.

[vicsdeangelis]

obviously ethan's dick is huge and when you first started dating the thought of actually taking him fully was almost daunting. keyword: almost. the image in your head made your cunt throb. the shape of his cock being visible through your throat when you had your nose just touching his pubic hair, with the mascara you wore just for him running down your face alongside hot tears, you would space out and think of it only to be so rudely pulled away from your horny fantasy. basically your attitude towards deepthroating him was mark me down as scared and horny. when ethan started making his beloved appearances in your videos, you had also recently started a multi-part series that you called "throat training." the first one of you fucking your throat with one of your dildos did so well you made another one a couple of weeks later. another slightly bigger dildo, even more of your own spit coating your chin. the real treat was when you enlisted ethan for the next installment, third time's a charm, right? that one was even more popular than the last two bc (a.) actual dick used, (b.) it was ETHANS actual dick used, which everyone seems to be a fan of, you included. (c.) you told ethan to make as much noise as he wanted (bc guys moaning is HOT) and he delivered. and last but not least (d. [haha]) he gave you a sweet kiss on the forehead and on the lips after he made you swallow his cum <3 bc he's a gentleman <333. you couldn't talk above a whisper the next day but it was completely worth it.

(okay i have to go get ready for a thing but I also think another great installment of the series would include you with your head hanging off the bed while ethan fucks your throat like that, probably touching all on your lengthened neck and playing with your tits as well. and the view of his cock through your throat is 🥵🥵🥵)

— 🪐

holy fucking christ. it's so visibile in the video how much he's restraining himself from thrusting into your warm mouth because it's your first time taking him fully. when the tip of his cock hits the back of your throat he throws his head back, grips your hair thigh, and lets out the most beautifully pornographic moan you've ever heard. you deliberately used some cheap mascara that wouldn't survive long as soon as the tears began to fall, and he tells you you look beautiful like that, all ruined for and because of him. even with your training, he still makes you gag, and the amount of filth that leaves his mouth makes you even wetter than you already were. he cums straight down your throat, and you have no choice but to swallow (as if you wouldn't have done that anyway). he sweeps his thumb over your spit wet chin and brings you in for a sweet kiss, calling you his good girl. your voice is fucked the next day (literally and figuratively), but you could not care less, already thinking about the next time you would have all of him in your mouth. maybe with some more training you would even let him fuck your throat, and the thought went straight to your cunt

it takes a little while, but you finally get there, letting him do whatever he wanted. and although he was in full control, he goes easy on you at first because he never wants to actually hurt you. but once you work your tongue on him and hollow your cheeks, it's all over. he fucks your mouth hard, your head hanging off the bed, the camera perfectly capturing the sight of his cock through your throat. he touches your tits while his hips continue working, and you touch your pussy, rubbing and fucking yourself as he uses your mouth for his own pleasure. your legs open wide, your fingers are deep inside your cunt, fingering yourself almost at the same pace he's fucking your throat. and he notices, oh, he notices you touching yourself, and calls you his whore, getting horny just by being used, and that makes you moan around his cock. his hips snap even harder, and your face is a mess of tears and drool. when he feels like he's about to cum, he pulls out and you let out a pathetic little whine in a hoarse fucked out voice, but he tells you to be quiet and open your mouth, tongue out, and soon he's releasing on your face. he leans down over you and rubs your clit sharply, and soon your orgasm hits too, and your voice barely comes out as you moan and shake and clench around your own fingers. immediately after ethan asks if you're okay, if it was too much, helps you clean up. you nod, bringing him down for a kiss, and you almost forget the camera because you're too busy being devoured by his lips

[unbridgeabledistances]

some ian/mickey prompts! (this is not a demand, just some ideas☺️)

• waking up/going to sleep

• cuddling

• domestic scenes in general

• hurt/comfort scenarios

• being in each other’s company (like ur recent fic) and falling in love with each other again

I really don’t know how to describe but I hope these are enough?

<3 ah thank u so much for these ideas anon! i couldn’t fall asleep last night bc i was stressed about a bunch of stuff, so i started to write this little bit of nighttime fluff that seems to fit with your requests:) i hope u enjoy!!

a drabble where ian can’t sleep, and mickey comforts him (can be set as a little coda to 11x05)

--

It was the dead of night at the Gallagher house— Ian was staring up at the ceiling, his eyes trying pierce through the blanket of darkness to count the cracks in the crumbling plaster above him and listening for something, anything, to distract his mind and finally get him to go the fuck to sleep. But it was no use— it was so late that even the usual summer chatter that bubbled up from the South Side street corners into open windows on wafts of summer air had stilled, leaving Ian sweaty and tired and restlessly laying in bed. Ian was more than tired; he was fucking exhausted, his eyes red-rimmed and scratchy and his muscles tense and rigid. Most nights Ian slept well, or slept okay at the least—he kind of had to learn to sleep in any situation after sharing a room with Lip and Carl and Liam for his entire childhood, always plagued with slamming doors and shouting voices. It wasn’t noise that usually kept Ian awake on nights like tonight, it was silence— a deafening, pounding silence that felt like it was crawling under his skin.

He looked over at Mickey, curled tightly on the opposite side of the bed, facing the wall with his arms around his chest and the covers practically up to his chin, the only really visible part of him the sliver of pale skin at the back of his neck that reflected the gauzy moonlight that was streaming in through the blinds. Ian noticed how comfortably Mickey’s face was pressed into the pillow, with even breaths escaping his half-open mouth, and instantly felt a pang of envy. That was the thing about Mickey—he never really had trouble sleeping. Mickey could always drift off the second he hit the sheets, whatever voices that lived inside his head easily quieting when the lights were dim and the world was still. Ian didn’t get it—the voices in his head always ramped up when the lights turned off, always churned and swirled and made him question his entire existence in the stagnant, pitch-black silence— and usually Ian could quiet them, after a little while, but on a night like tonight Ian knew he’d be stuck in the spiral, with his heart racing, until the sun came up. He pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes, trying to will his body to relax.

Ian could feel an odd sense of panic bubbling up in his throat as he laid there unmoving, feeling suffocated by the heat of the deep, dark night pressing in on him. His legs felt tingly and restless, and his head was throbbing because of how tired he was but the static in his mind kept whirring, like a broken radio set to the wrong frequency. He sighed loudly, letting the air burning in his lungs fizzle out of him, just wanting to penetrate the thick silence. He just wanted to be asleep—he was supposed to get up early to put the coffee on before Lip had a job interview, and then he wanted to go for a jog before he and Mickey had a shit ton of weed runs to do that would jam-pack the entire day tomorrow…

Beside him, Mickey shuffled beneath the covers. Ian froze. Fuck, he did not want to wake Mickey up right now. Mickey was crabby and groggy on the best of mornings, but when he didn’t get enough sleep he was truly a force to be reckoned with.

Unfortunately, Ian’s prayers went unanswered. Mickey drew in a deep breath, rustling under the sheets once more.

“Okay Gallagher, what’re you sighing for?” Mickey’s flat, muffled voice piped up from under his blanket cocoon, low and throaty and full of sleep. He sounded exasperated and deflated, and definitely not fully awake.

Ian let out another long breath, more quietly this time. “Nothing, Mick. Go back to sleep.”

But of course, instead of listening, Mickey aggressively yawned and turned over, stretching to shift his body weight and turn onto his opposite side to face Ian. Ian just remained where he was laying, his head lying limp and heavy on the pillow while he stared up at the ceiling.

Mickey dazedly rubbed his eyes, noticing that Ian was fully awake. Immediately, Mickey shook off the sleep that was clouding his eyes. He stared at Ian for a moment, his eyes wide and searching. After a moment, almost on reflex, he carded a quick, gentle hand through the front of Ian’s hair as he leaned in closer.

“You feeling okay?” Mickey’s voice was distant and drowsy, like he was still half-asleep but trying to will himself to wake up.

Am I feeling okay? There was so much latent meaning wrapped up in that question, and Ian felt a cavernous gratefulness bloom in his chest that this was the way Mickey asked—he wasn’t assuming that Ian being manic was the reason that he couldn’t sleep, but he didn’t rule it out either. Mickey was just waiting for Ian to tell him what he was feeling, what he needed, without assuming anything about Ian’s brain before Ian did.

Am I feeling okay?

Ian swallowed, his glassy eyes still fixated on the cracks in the ceiling that he could barely make out in the dark.

“Yeah. S’not anything to worry about, I’ve been taking my meds. I’m just… stressed out I guess.” Ian could hear the fatigue dripping from his voice as it glided across the darkness.

Mickey was still staring at Ian, his gaze piercing and concerned.

“Stressed out?” Mickey questioned lowly, like he’d never heard the two words before.

“Yes, Mickey, stressed out. I don’t know, it’s fucking stupid, just go back to bed.” Ian sighed in frustration.

Instead, Mickey shifted again, propping himself up on his elbow and leaning fully on his side, looking like a teenage girl at a sleepover who was ready to hear some juicy gossip.

“Well I’m awake now, mouth-breather, so why don’t you tell me what you’re worried about?”

Ian gave a quiet, strangled chuckle. What the fuck was he supposed to say? It just fucking sucked to not be able to sleep, to lie there frustrated with dry eyes and a parched throat, grasped tight in the clutches of whatever worries were lying hollow and dark in the pit of his stomach and not being able to do anything about it.

Ian knew it was stupid, but for the last few months he had been pretty much the only one worrying about keeping things together— getting steady money, putting aside fucking savings, trying to keep the house intact and fill the gaping hole Fiona left behind that Ian still just didn’t fit into right, for the sake of Liam and Franny and Carl now that Lip had moved out. Ian had never really given a shit about money, until he had to start caring about everyone else—and it didn’t bother him, it really didn’t, but now that Ian was caught in this fucking sticky silence, he realized how much worrying about taking care of everyone else was actually wearing him down, grinding away at him bit by bit without him noticing.

He exhaled a heavy, trembling breath.

“Just. I don’t know. Worried about money, I guess? And worried about our job. I know we agreed on guns, and I totally fucking get that now, but I’ve never done a job that’s so… dangerous? And then I’m panicking because what if we make total asses of ourselves with this business bullshit and fail and lose everything, and then we’d be back to square one…”

Mickey just sat there perched on his elbow, listening. He wordlessly reached to press the pad of his thumb to Ian’s forehead, above his eyebrows, smoothing the worry lines and creases that started to bloom there as Ian spoke.

“And I just… I don’t know, my heart’s just fucking racing for some reason tonight and I can’t make it stop.”

Mickey continued to silently run his thumb gently on Ian’s face, tracing above his eyebrow and the side of his temple in a soothing pattern that made Ian’s eyes want to flutter shut for the first time in hours.

“S’there anything I can do?” Mickey’s gravelly, sleepy voice cut through the darkness.

Ian peeled his eyes from the ceiling, and shifted them to meet Mickey’s. He was still staring down at Ian with searing concern, like Ian’s stupid fucking worries were a big deal if they were making him feel this distressed.

“It’s fine, Mick. Just get some sleep.” Ian held Mickey’s gaze for a moment, expecting him to turn back over and wrap the blankets around himself.

Instead, Mickey curled closer, draping a heavy arm over Ian’s waist, followed by a thick and heavier thigh between Ian’s legs, his nose nuzzling into the side of Ian’s neck. Ian froze, just for a moment—Mickey definitely usually wasn’t the one to initiate tender touches of intimacy, but he was half-asleep and he knew how much Ian needed this right now, knew it would calm his racing heart down to a steady beat. Instantly, Ian felt something, some heaviness that was burrowed deep in his chest, dissipate at Mickey’s touch.

“Mick,” Ian said. There was something in his lungs, in his throat, on his tongue. He didn’t know what it was. All he knew is that his heartbeat was slowing, his blood was running through his veins at a normal speed again, and the pressure building in his head starting to dissipate.

“This okay?” Mickey was almost asleep again, and mumbled the words into the crook of Ian’s neck, his breath tickling Ian’s chin.

Ian breathed out with relief, curling a hand over Mickey’s shoulders and drinking in the feeling of Mickey’s warm skin nestled against his, a grounding, solid weight holding him at bay. “Yeah, this is good.”

[r0zyp0zy0zy]

Hi!! I’m new to the Haikyuu fandom but Kageyama is my favorite so far!! Can you do numbers 20 and 24 with him please? Thank you in advance! 🧡��

Haikyuu!! Prompt list trial

HQ!! Prompt list

Thanks for requesting! I’m also fairly new to the Haikyuu fandom <3

The other requests are in the works, they might just take a bit longer bc I’m swamped with school stuff! Happy reading :D

Words: 2400+

Warnings: possible weight trigger?, Kags calls you heavy 😔

Pairing: Kageyama Tobio x FEM!reader

Prompt(s): 20- "I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" & 24- "don't leave me here with her/them!"

The mind of Kageyama was mostly a mystery; his skull hollow with a few volleyballs bouncing around. He wasn't the smartest to say the least— Have you seen his report card?

So, when his heart pumped 10x faster than when he was on the court when he was around you, he only thought he wasn't feeling well that day. Next was his voice; constantly stuttering for no apparent reason when he was chatting with you. Kageyama had not a clue what was going on with him until Tanaka spoke up for him, asking how long Kageyama was going to wait before asking you out. The boy in question just wrinkled his nose and went to toss another ball to an energetic redhead.

Nishinoya and Tanaka cornered the unsuspecting setter in the club room, trapping him with their looming auras. Kageyama only stared at them quizzically for a moment before a phone was shoved in his face.

"Look, dude, check out this article!" Tanaka grinned, raising his eyebrows.

"Is it about volleyball?" Kageyama asked as he threw on his uniform.

"No—"

"—don't wanna look at it then," Kageyama interrupted his upperclassmen, grabbing his bag and hoisting it over his shoulder.

"C'mon bro!" Argued Nishinoya, blocking the door with pure physics, clinging to the frame, "we just wanna help you get with y/n! This Wiki article will save you from your lack of social awareness around her."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Kageyama mumbled, glancing at the phone pointed at him. It was titled: 'How to Flirt with Girls'. Now, he wasn't necessarily considering reading it, but it was tempting. "Why d'you want me to flirt with y/n? She's my friend."

"She's your crush is what she is. Are you really too dense to realize your feelings?" Tanaka said. "Actually- yeah. You are. Here, I'll text you the link."

Later that night when Kageyama was trying to sleep, his mind wandered in circles thinking about his feelings towards you. He didn't think he had time to develop a crush, but here he was pulling up his phone to check the link his upperclassman sent him. He squinted at the bright WikiHow screen, and scrolled down to read the captions. He glanced at the first three options, not really reading (or caring) about 'don't forget to smile!' and 'don't cross your arms'.

The only title that caught his eye was 'Tease Her'. Kageyama knew how to do that; it was easy. He did it with Hinata all the time! He blushed just thinking about making you flustered, a wish that he didn't know he had until tonight. He didn't bother with reading the rest of the article, feeling confident in himself that he knew what to do. He threw his phone back onto his nightstand and cuddled into his bedsheets, grinning wildly.

Tobio didn't know what he was getting into when he asked Tanaka and Nishinoya about the skill of teasing. He had only wanted a few pointers from the 'pros', and some advice on what to do after you were charmed by him.

"Oh ho ho!" Tanaka said excitedly, waving his hands around as he ranted. "Make sure to insult her playfully, but always tell her how beautiful she is afterwards! Oh, and don't forget about the lingering touches! Girls love that stuff, trust me."

Kageyama nodded along, turning to Nishinoya, "don't forget to smile! Girls love sweet smiles~."

The raven haired boy was practically buzzing with anticipation as he waited at the table he usually ate at with you, desperate to try out his new flirting techniques. He smiled at you, something he usually did but he tried making it brighter. He felt his chest bubble when you raised your eyebrows at him, giving a cute smile in return.

You were wondering what the hell was up with Kageyama. You knew he wasn't the best at smiling, but when he flashed his teeth it was just downright creepy. You tried not to laugh as you sat beside him, pulling out your lunch to sit on the table in front of you. A huff left your lips as Tobio snatched away your bento, raising it above his head with a playful smirk.

"Kageyama-kun," you raised a brow playfully. "You want me to starve or something?"

"Just watching your weight," he replied, grin still plastered on his face.

You deadpanned at him, giving him a scowl, "don't say stuff like that, it makes me feel like shit."

"You're still p-pr-er, P-p-pretty in my eyes," your friend stammered, his stance wavering. You lazily tried to grab your lunch back, but Tobio's long arms kept it out of your reach.

You sighed, giving him a teasing grin before reaching out and tickling his armpit. He choked out a laugh and your bento fell out of his hand, and you caught it. Kageyama gave you a frustrated pout and watched as you ate your food.

"Serves you right for calling me fat," you said through a mouthful, cringing at your manners, "that wasn't very nice."

"You're only heavy because of your muscle," Kageyama said, propping a fist on his cheek, "you'd be good at serving." You looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out what was up with him today.

"Y-your clothes look cool today," Tobio offered, trying to keep up with his 'flirtatious' act.

"... dude I literally wear the same thing every day. Y'know, my uniform," now you were really confused. Was he messing with you? Or was he just being his usual weird self?

A blush creeped onto his face and he looked away, burring his face in his own lunch. You ate in an odd silence, occasionally catching Kageyama taking glances at you.

"Y-you're, erm, very..." Tobio trailed off, refusing to look at you. His face was red with embarrassment and he stared at his empty lunchbox, tapping his fingers on the table rhythmically.

"Go on~," you pressed, glaring holes in his head.

Kageyama perked up suddenly, putting an arm around your shoulders, "you look heavy, let me hold it for you. Wait—."

"Ok, dude. What's up with you?!" You were getting pissed now, and you quickly packed up your bento. "I'm going to my class early."

Before he could stop you, you peeled his arm from your body and sped walked away into a bathroom. Kageyama blushed in frustration, cursing at his stupid twisted tongue. He couldn't believe he messed up the simplest pick up line, the one that Nishinoya had taught him. Maybe Tsukishima was right, he was going to scare you off before he could make a proper move. He groaned angrily into his hands and shoved his lunch container into his bag, huffing down the hall to get to his class.

You sunk down into your seat, trying not to let the interaction with Kageyama rule your mind. Was was up with him today? You thought. He was usually odd, but not this odd. You laid out your things in front of you and organized them to distract yourself. You slightly jumped at the sound of the first bell, and you heard the hallway outside start to get louder with footsteps and laughing chatter.

"Hi y/n-san!" Yamaguchi said, and you looked up at him.

"Hey," you mumbled.

"What's got you all grouchy?" Tsukishima chuckled as he sat by his desk beside yours.

"I'm sorry," you sighed, "Kageyama-kun was just being a dick during lunch."

"What'd he do?" Yamaguchi asked, sitting in his seat behind you. He gathered his notebook and pencil case.

"He was being really weird. Er, weirder than normal," you started. "He tried holding me back from my lunch and he basically called me fat. But then he said I was heavy because I had so much muscle? Which doesn't even make sense, and then he said I'd be good at setting which is— I mean ok?"

Tsukishima snickered from beside you as he opened his binder, and Yamaguchi blushed a little at his teammate's actions.

"And then he told me that my clothes looked nice. My uniform clothes, that I wear every day," you puzzled almost to yourself, forgetting that your friends were listening to your rant. "Oh, he also said like, I dunno, a pickup line or something? He said that 'I looked heavy and he wanted to hold 'it'' whatever the hell he was supposed to mean by that."

Tsukki had to shove a hand over his mouth to keep himself from combusting into boisterous laughter, Yamaguchi doing the same. You frowned and rolled your eyes, turning to look at the board as the second bell rang.

"The idiot's got a crush on you," Tsukishima spilled, chest shaking from the aftershocks of his laughter.

"W-wha—," you started.

"—Tsukki!" Yamaguchi interrupted. "You told me that you weren't gonna mess with Kageyama-kun's relationships!"

Tsukishima just shrugged before turning to the board, your eyes bulging at him. "He fucking what—."

"I know!" Tsukishima smirked, "I didn't think he had any emotion for anything but volleyball."

You opened your mouth to reply, but got cut off by your teacher. You frowned as you set up your notes, messily writing your name and the date. Kageyama's actions now made sense to you, knowing how awkward he is in expressing his feelings.

After class as you walked down the hall, Tsukishima sported a sly grin. You eyed him quizzically, not trusting the look in his eyes. He smirked harder at your glance and chuckled.

"I have a plan," the blonde said, pushing up his glasses. "I'm gonna shove Kageyama in the equipment room with you."

"And so I get a say in this at all?" You pressed, glaring playfully at him.

"Well, what do you say?" He asked.

"I say yes," you said, Yamaguchi facepalming at your response.

You followed the two boys down to the gym where they practiced, and waited by the door until Yamaguchi gave you the clear that no one was there yet except for the third years. Tsukishima led you to the double doors of the equipment room and you took a step inside the dark room, turning on your flashlight.

"If you hear an even three knocks, open the door immediately," you ordered, shaking slightly. "Incase he does something... weird," you faltered slightly, and Yamaguchi nodded quickly.

"Whatever," the tall blonde in front of you said, "just get in before he comes in the gym— oh, he's here."

The door was closed suddenly, and you were left alone with only your phone flashlight to protect you. You took a deep breath as you heard voices outside the heavy doors, trying to regulate your heartbeat. What were you doing? What was your plan after he gets trapped inside? The doors opened and filled the room with light for a brief moment before the space was consumed in darkness once again.

"Hey!" You heard Kageyama yell beside you, pounding on the door, "what the hell?!"

You laid a gentle hand on his shoulder and he whipped around to slap you away, faltering when he realized it was you. His eyes widened and he was glad you couldn't see the blush that flourished on his face. Kageyama was silent for a few moments before hammering at the door again.

"Guys! Don't leave me here with her!" He panicked when you pulled his hands away from the doors, and he went quiet.

"Calm down, Kageyama-kun," you stifled a giggle. "You're only here so you can apologize to me."

"W-what?" He stuttered, body going stiff.

"Just say sorry for offending me," you shrugged. His eyes were glued to the floor, hands still trapped by your grip.

"I- I thought... I didn't mean it like that, I was trying to... tease you. That's what you do, right? When you have feelings?" Kageyama's blush crawled across his whole face all the way to the tips of his ears and he squeezed his eyes shut, terrified of what your next words were going to be.

"So you do have a crush on me," you pondered, loosening your hold on his wrists. The boy in front of you snapped his hands to his sides and anxiously squeezed his fists.

"How...?" Kageyama held his breath, as if afraid of your answer.

"Hmm, a little birdie told me~," you teased, running a finger down his chest. His breath hitched in his throat and a shiver ran down his spine when he felt your hot breath whisper onto his ear, "I'm still waiting for your apology."

"I'm s-sor-sorry for what I s-said at lunch today..." Kageyama stammered, rubbing his arm awkwardly.

"I accept your apology!" You smiled and went in for a hug, crushing his arms to his sides. "Meet me after practice near the vending machines~," you murmured playfully.

"—what are you guys doing?!" Daichi's muffled yell came through the door. "You can't just trap people in there!"

Kageyama tensed and he tried to pull away, but you held him closer. The bright light from the gym poured into the small room, illuminating all of the equipment and yourselves.

"Are you oka— oh," Daichi cut himself off, eyes widening at the sight of a girl hugging his underclassman. You peaked at him over Kageyama's shoulder and gave a shy smile, pulling away slowly.

"Bye, Tobio-chan," you adjusted your bag and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See you after your practice."

The group of boys watched in silence as you skipped your way out the gym door, too shocked to say anything. Kageyama's face grew hotter and he reached up to touch where you kissed him. He felt like he was going to pass out.

"Kageyamaaaaa!!" Hinata yelled, shaking his friend viciously, "was that your girlfriend?! Why didn't you tell us you had one?! She's so pretty! Why does she even like you?!"

"Chill out Hinata-kun," Daichi said sternly, pulling the redhead away by the back of his shirt. "Kageyama-kun, be ready for practice in five."

Tobio nodded slowly, his hand still on his cheek in bewilderment. He was too excited to tell Hinata off, completely blocking out his friend. He couldn't wait for practice to end.

[penguinwithitsarseonfire]

Right Before Your Eyes (I’m Breaking)

Pairing: 12th Doctor x Reader

Word Count: 3,893

Warnings: Angst, mentions of death, consumption of alcohol (not shown), drunk reader (suggested)

Summary: After a devastating event causes you and the Doctor to fight, you leave. However, after a night out with friends, you find yourself calling him.

Request: you opened requests again YAY, ok so i was wondering if you could write one where the reader leaves the doctor (12) bc they got into an argument ab their feelings and when he comes back to talk it out more calmly he finds her drunk and she confeses with n°1 from the prompt list #1 (general) Prompt: “I love you.” “Tell me that when you’re sober.”

A/N: This was a bit of a difficult one to write and I’m still not sure how I feel about it, but it’s here now. Hope you enjoy!

The future was cold.

There was this depressed, angry, chill in the air, and it seemed to cement itself into everything it touched. It ran down your spine, curled itself into the small of your back, and made you shiver.

The cold was everywhere.

Or maybe it was just you.

You stared out over the ruined city, the fire billowing ash into an orange sky. It wasn't supposed to be orange, this planet had a similar biosphere to Earth, and it hadn't changed that dramatically since the 21st century.

The sky was supposed to be blue; like the ocean, like the Doctors eyes.

But no, it was orange. It had come from the smoke, settling under the clouds like a suffocating blanket, snuffing out the light.

Before it had happened, you had been in the village, teaching the children hopscotch - because they didn't have hopscotch, of all things, in this strange new planet. Then the fire had come, so fast, so suddenly, that the most you could do was just go.

The Doctor had taken your hand and told you to run.

So you did, because the Doctor would come back. He would save them. He would always save them.

There was a crack, echoing across the landscape, and it rocked into the ground. You watched as a wooden spire split into two, splintering across the city, then collapsed into the building below. A plume of ash flew into the air, spreading it's tendrils over the small town.

"You should have gone back," you said, and were surprised by the way your voice croaked. "You always go back."

The Doctor was standing by your side. He was silent, as if you weren’t worth the response.

You waited for a moment, then another.

He wouldn’t even look at you.

You grit your teeth. “You didn’t go back,” you voice was harsher, angrier, than you had expected. There was a brittle chill to it, one you took no effort to control.

The Doctor sighed. It was weary, like he was annoyed with you. “Y/N, if we’re just going to be stating the obvious here-“

“Why?” you said, but the way your voice lilted made it clear that it wasn’t an ask. “Why didn’t you go back?”

You turned to face him then, tearing your eyes away from the ruined town. He looked like a ghost, the firelight casting shadows across his face until he was almost blended into the scenery. You couldn’t tell where the Doctor begun, or where he ended. It was unnerving, eerie in a way you had never thought about before, not about the Doctor – not ever. The lines on his face were sharp and pronounced, etched into his skin like hey had always belonged there. It made him look more angular, more pronounced, and, for the first time, looking at him, it didn’t feel quite right.

For a painfully long moment, he didn’t speak. When he did though, it almost broke you further.

“There wasn’t any choice,” his words were steady, hollow, as if he had said that line a hundred times before.

You clenched your fists. It was the wrong answer.

“So we go back,” you said, thinking of that dazzling time machine right behind you. 20 minutes, maybe 30, that was all you would need. You looked back towards the town, and watched the foundations of the bakery begin to give. “We’ll go back and save them.”

It wasn’t a request. It was a demand.

The Doctor didn’t look at you. “We can’t.”

You let out an unbelieving breath. “Sorry?”

“We can’t,” he said, and he still wouldn’t look at you.

You threw a hand in the air, gesturing aimlessly, and vaguely noticed little moon shaped crescents indented in your palms. They were bloody – how hard had you been clenching your fists? “We can’t just let them die,” your voice was raised, but not high enough that it was a yell. You wanted to yell, you wanted to shake him, kick and scream, do anything to get the Doctor to do something, anything – but you held yourself back. That would be undignified. The Doctor wouldn’t respect that.

“They already died,” the Doctor yelled, as if snapping, like he could no longer tolerate you. He gestured out towards the burning town. “Look Y/N, they’re dead and you,” he turned to you now, finally looking at you. “Are not. It’s done.”

“But we can change that,” you countered. “We can fix it-”

The Doctor enunciated each word slowly and carefully, his voice shaking in repressed anger. “They are dead. It cannot be changed, it is a fixed point.”

“What’s stopping you?” You ran a hand through your hair.

“It’s a fixed point,” the Doctor repeated, and his voice was harsher, less forgiving. “It’s not possible, the laws of time dictate it. They died. Past tense. “

You let out a bitter scoff. “Since when have you ever followed the rules?

“This is more than just a rule,” and now, his voice was almost a yell. “Y/N, this is about the very fabric of time and space itself. We cannot control it, I cannot control it,” He turned to you suddenly, his eyes piercing into yours. “Listen to me very carefully. If you’re to travel with me, you will drop all of,” he gestured to you, like he couldn’t quite place what was wrong with you, so chose everything. “This, and accept it. Don’t be foolish enough to believe that you can change it.”

His face was dark, and it cast a striking silhouettes in the light of the roaring fire and it held a sort of anger you had never seen before. It cast a striking shadow in the light of the roaring fire, with black shadows and cold eyes. It was frightening.

You took a hesitant step backwards, your breathing sharp. “That’s terrible.”

The Doctor gave you a final, considering look. With a tone of finality, he said, almost petulantly. “Get used to it.”

He stalked into the TARDIS, and then, just as suddenly, slammed the door shut.

You stood there, gobsmacked, staring at the familiar blue door. Your shock quickly ebbed away, giving way to burning red fury, turning your vision white.

He was so cruel.

You swung the door open, grateful, for a moment, that it did open, and marched inside.

The TARDIS was dark, the lights were turned low, and those same shadows that had been cast over the Doctors face, had found themselves over every nook and cranny in the console room.

It made you pause, for a moment.

You took in a deep breath, calming yourself. One final question. “Why did you save me, then?

You couldn’t see the Doctor, the TARDIS was too dark, but you heard his voice. It was calm, which surprised you. “Y/N, that should be obvious.”

“Humour me.”

There was a knocking noise, like he was drumming his fingers against the console. “I have a duty of care.”

“You’ve got a duty of care over freaking leprechauns,” you countered, and then it occurred to you, that he didn’t. If he did, he would have saved the town, he would have tried. The Doctor had lied. You tried again. “Why did you save me?”

The tone of his voice surprised you, it wasn’t mocking, but it wasn’t kind either. “You’re acting like you’re special.”

“No Doctor, you don’t get to deflect,” you took a hesitant step forward. “You don’t get to posture about time and the way of things, and then scoop me up and get me out.”

“Then put it together,” he seethed. “Surely you’re not this thick-”

“Don’t insult me,” you took in a heavy breath. “Why would you do it? All those people, but you saved me. You’re acting like everyone there – including me, were supposed to have died. What aren’t you telling me?”

“How to solve the Twin Prime Conjecture,” you still couldn’t see him, but his voice sounded unaffected. “Really Y/N-”

You groaned. “I’m not stupid, at least do me the dignity of talking to me honestly.”

“If you were brighter Y/N, you would know,” he said. “But evidently, you’re not. So we better get used to it.”

You took a step back.

Get used to it.

And then you thought of the town.

In most films and books, when the protagonist remembers awful, terrible events, they normally remember the traumatic stuff. The screams of innocent people, the aimless wanton destruction that would always follow, the heartbreak, the misery.

You didn’t think of any of that, and, somehow, that made it worse.

You remembered the children’s laughter, a young girls squeal of delight as she finished a round of hopscotch. You thought of the bakers warm pumpkin bread, and how the smell had wafted through the open door. You pictured the smiles from the village people, and that magnificent bell that had hung in the spire.

All gone, snuffed out in an instant.

You were furious – it was unfair. They didn’t deserve to die like that, especially not with the Doctor here. And it was like he didn’t care. For him, it was just another day.

Fine then. If he wouldn’t be honest with you, and if he couldn’t bring it in himself to actually care. You spoke softly, but your voice was firm. “Take me home.”

There was silence.

You took another careful step forward. “Doctor,” you said. “Take me home.”

He waved a hand in the air, and you realised he had been on the other side of the console, refusing to look at you. “Now you’re just being ridiculous.”

You snapped. Ridiculous?

They had died.

Hundreds of people.

And they had died.

“No,” you almost yelled. “I’m not. I want to go home.”

The Doctor disregarded you. “Go take some time to cool off-”

“I won’t do this Doctor,” your voice was firmer now, and you knew he couldn’t ignore it. “I can’t be around a man who is so callous about death that he – that you…” you stammered off. What could you say? That he would leave an entire village to ruin? That he would brush off their deaths so easily? That he wouldn’t just admit that he cared about you? You swallowed down the rest of the sentence. “Take me home.”

The Doctor lifted his head slowly, and locked his eyes onto yours. In the TARDIS light, he didn’t look so intimidating anymore. He almost looked… heartbroken. “Okay Y/N,” he said. “If that’s what you want.”

You nodded.

And the Doctor pressed some buttons, pulled a lever, and you were off.

It had been a week since you had seen the Doctor, since you had told him to take you home, and your head was delightfully cloudy. There was a ridiculously loud band playing on the small, tiny stage that made up half the space of the pub.

You watched the guitarist, his deft fingers plucking along like it was his first time playing, and he kept needing to retrace his steps.

In other words, he was terrible.

You wanted to laugh about it with your friends, but they weren’t paying attention, and were instead in an intense conversation about relationships, and other messy, unrelatable, heartbreaking stuff.

You hated it.

You stared at your phone, the only thing your vision could focus on.

You thought about it for a moment, only one. You could call the Doctor. Would it really be so bad?

You shrugged to yourself. Why not.

You told your friends you were just ducking out for a moment, and stumbled out of the pub, your phone glued between your shoulder and your ear.

He picked up.

“Hi!” You yelled over sound of the band, then drew out the next word. “Hello.”

You couldn’t hear his reply.

“Wait,” you shouted, and you weren’t sure if you’d actually pronounced the ‘t’. “Gimme a moment.”

You staggered through the door, and found yourself in the cool night air. The world tilted to the side slightly, and you fell against the wall. You leaned against it, the cobblestones hard and familiar against your back. You drew out your words, talking in a sing song voice. It felt like the right thing to do. “Hello Doctor.”

“Y/N,” he said, and he sounded worried – wait, was that worry? You couldn’t tell, the sound of his voice rang in your mind, the familiar sounds and decibels making the hair on the back of your arms stand. “Are you okay?”

You laughed brightly – god you missed him. You could just picture it: his stern expression pinched with lines of concern as he spoke to you, like he cared about you. “That guitarist is terrible,” you said, then you frowned. “I feel bad for saying that actually.”

“What are you doing,” the Doctor said, and you heard the sound of familiar buttons being pushed in the console. “Are you okay?”

“Oh Doctor,” you drew out the word and ran a hand through your hair. You looked up, and suddenly the world was much bigger. You realised you had slid down the wall, and were now sitting on the pavement. “I’m out,” you slurred. “With friends,” you looked around you, trying to find them, before you remembered that they were inside. “I’m alone though.”

“Y/N-”

“Doctor,” you interrupted him, but you’d barely noticed. “I…” The streetlight was the only thing that provided any noise, buzzing away slightly. You wondered why it was making sound, maybe the bulb was running low – did streetlights do that? You didn’t know.

You could hear murmurs of the merry goers inside the pub, the sound of an off-tune electric guitar and ecstatic drums. It seemed so distant from you, as if it lived in a separate world.

“I don’t want to be alone,” you said, and it was soft, almost like a whisper.

There was silence on the other end, and then, just as soft, the Doctor spoke. “I’ll be there in ten seconds.

And then he hung up.

You glanced at the sky, and you counted. There weren’t many stars here, there was too much light pollution, and it clouded into your vision.

It took seven seconds, only seven, and the familiar whir and groan of the TARDIS engines pulled you off of the pavement. There she was, in all her glory; the TARDIS, standing at the end of the street.

You wobbled as you walked towards it, but you didn’t need to. The door swung open, bright light pouring out from it. There – right there, standing in the glow of the light, looking ethereal, was the Doctor – your Doctor.

You brightened immediately. “Hello stranger.”

He held his hand out towards you, and you reached out to take it. You knocked your foot against the threshold and toppled forward. Your body jerked forward and you let out a small yell. Suddenly the metallic floor was suddenly very, very close.

Warm arms circled around you and pulled you up. The ground was gone from your vision, replaced with familiar blue eyes. Your heart did a little summersault and you smiled.

The Doctor had caught you.

And he was still holding you.

You patted against his chest, you weren’t familiar with a Time Lord heartbeat, but his hearts were hammering away inside that chest of his. “Sorry about that,” you giggle. “Oh! Was that parkour?”

The Doctor’s mouth was set in a grim line, even as his eyes shone. “You’re drunk.”

He let you go, and you continued to make your way into the TARDIS. “I’ve been out.”

“So you’ve said,” you heard the door shut. “How come?”

You turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “Did you just ask me why I was out?”

He raised an eyebrow of his own, and his bushy eyebrows made the look more effective than yours. “Can’t I just go out? You’re not my keeper Doctor.”

“I didn’t think I would hear from you again, so, this is surprising.”

You flopped into one of the chairs, and you thought about the last time you had seen him, with cold angry eyes and dark shadows. He didn’t look that way now though, he looked kind, he looked tired. “Ooh,” you said, and you chewed your lip in thought. “Oh I was mad with you.”

He gave you a small, sad look. “I know.”

“You had been,” you mouthed over a couple of words, trying to find the right one. Your mouth felt heavy, and it was difficult to get anything out. “Not very nice,” you smiled triumphantly, glad to have made your point.

The look he gave you was almost broken, and your expression fell. You didn’t ever want him to look like that, you loved him, how could you stand that?

You paused, your mind whirring over that thought. Had you ever thought that before? That you loved him?

You slotted it into place, it felt right. It felt like the truth.

“It had been a terrible day,” he commented, and he seemed so pained by that. It was then, in the haze that was your mind, that you finally worked it out.

Of course he had cared about that town, about those people.

You’d been foolish to think otherwise.

So had you been cruel that day? You thought so, on some level. You hadn’t been very considerate to him, and were so blinded by your own anger, your own grief, you hadn’t thought to be considerate.

Then again, the Doctor had the communicative ability of a wooden pole, so your anger, at least, towards that, had been entirely justified.

You made grabby hands towards him. He came forward and crouched down in front of you. You leaned into his chest and mumbled a soft ‘I missed you,’ too quiet for him to hear.

"You know," you said, thinking about it, thinking about how he couldn’t even tell you that he cared for you. "I wouldn't have been so upset about it if you had just been more empa…" you tried to form the word with your mouth, but you couldn't fully remember how. You settled on a different word. “Kinder."

"I wasn't a very kind man that night," he admitted.

"No," you agreed. "But, I don't think that's completely a bad thing. No one's perfect," you found the words were easier to get out than they were earlier. Like your mouth was cooperating. "I think - just as long as you try to be better, as long as you try to be kind, maybe that's enough. I think that's all any of us can be."

The Doctor hummed, but he didn't say anything

You looked up. "Hey Doc?"

He looked down at you. "Yes, Y/N?"

"Can you try? Try being more kind?"

The Doctor traced his thumb up and down your cheekbone. It was the most physical affection you had ever gotten from him, and you leaned into it. "For you, I'd do anything."

You laughed brightly, your brain going to a ridiculous, heartbreaking thought. "Careful Doctor, you're two steps close to giving out a love confession there."

The Doctor pursed his lips, but he didn't say anything. His eyes had widened, as if you had caught him with his hand in the cookie jar.

And absurd, wild thought, crossed your mind. "Wait," you gasped, pulling back so you could see him clearly. Your head spun for a moment, not liking the sudden change "Do you love me?"

"Alright," the Doctor began to stand, helping you as well. "I think it's time for you to go to bed."

"No wait Doctor, don't do this whole 'deflect and never answer a question thing,' because if you love me like I love you-" you clamped your mouth shut.

You'd just confessed your feelings to the Doctor.

The Doctor had frozen, his body rigid beside you. "Tell me that when you’re sober."

You pulled yourself out of his grip, turning so you could face him properly. His eyes were wide, hurt, like they had been burned millions of times before. Despite that though, they seemed... almost hopeful.

You spurred on. "Of course I am," you said. "But that doesn't make what I'm saying any less true. What do they call it? Liquid courage?"

He gave you a look. "I would have gone with slow acting poison."

"Well I do you insufferable man, which is why I was so mad. I love you, and I'd felt betrayed. How was I supposed to react?”

He held your face in one hand, and you leaned into him. “I’m…” he struggled to get out the word. “I’m sorry, and we’ll speak about this properly, when your head is clearer-”

But it was clear right now, it was like he’d thrown you a line, pulled you to shore. It was clear enough for this.

“Don’t do that,” you said. “Talk to me.”

He sighed, looking more pained than you had seen him before. “You were right, that day. It was awful, I didn’t know that fire was coming, and by the time I realised, I could only get you.”

“So why did you make sure you saved me then?” You asked, then amended. “Beyond that whole duty of care stuff?”

“It was a choice,” he said. “Them, or you.”

The words settled into you. You didn’t have the ability to properly process it, but you knew it was big. “Oh,” you breathed.”

“And I would choose you,” he said. “Every time. Over anyone, over anything.”

“That’s dangerous,” you said it quietly, but a thrill went through you.

“I never wanted you to feel the weight of it all. Sometimes I can’t save everyone, sometimes I have to make difficult choices, and, to see you live with that…” he trailed off that thought. “I’m sorry. But I always cared, always.”

You nodded, and, despite yourself you let out a yawn. “Oh,” you said. “I didn’t mean to do that.”

He gave you a rueful smile. “We’ll have to have this conversation again, won’t we.”

You nodded. “Oh yeah, most definitely,” and you rocked forward, even though nearly all your weight was already resting on him. He held you steady, and his hand still hadn’t left your face.

You pulled away so you could hug him, burying your head into his chest. He held you back, but his arms were awkward, as if he didn’t know what to do with them. “It was awful,” you said.

“I know.”

“Please just be honest with me, next time,” you tried to match your breathing with his hearts, but they were beating too fast. “I couldn’t bear to go through that again.”

“You’re staying?”

You pulled back, and saw that his eyes were glassy. You swallowed. “If you’ll have me.”

There was a moment where he just looked at you, as if memorising every part of you.

“Of course.”

You jolted forward again, your legs becoming unsteady. The moment was broken.

You were still in the Doctors arms, and you let out an embarrassed laugh. “I think it’s bed time,” you said.

“I agree, let’s get you there.”

You took his arm, and he began to carefully lead you up the steps. You rested your head on his shoulder, and mumbled into his jacked. “Love you.”

He gave you a small, warm smile. "We'll talk about this in the morning, but, for what it's worth; and I you, Y/N."

[vennilavee]

the soul of a flame - ch 1

the spark

pairing: levi x reader of color

summary: levi follows his squad to a new bar called the silver sapphire and finds you, a pretty girl with a knack for making drinks.

warnings: alcohol, cursing

word count: 2022

a/n: reader is a reader of color because that's how it's going to be. if i feel like i cant relate with some of the fics posted here/ao3 bc of obvious physical attributes assigned to reader, then im sure many others feel the same as well. ENJOY

***

Levi suspects that his squad is getting shitfaced. Again. It’s only the end of a grueling few weeks after they’ve been appointed to his squad and had to go through a stricter, more regimented version of Cadet training.

It was Levi’s version of training.

He had them training from early hours into the heat of the mid afternoon until the sun began to dip into the sky. They never outwardly complained, not to him at least. They knew better.

Levi had granted them an early evening, to which all four of them had been surprised by-

“What? You four earned it,” Levi says with his arms crossed, “Don’t look so surprised. I’m not a tyrant.”

“Of course not, Captain Levi,” Petra chirps, an always sweet smile on her face.

Oluo elbows her, telling her to stop being such a kiss ass and Petra gapes at him.

“Me? Look at your hair! You can’t even pull off bangs the way Captain Levi can,” She scoffs, arms crossed over her chest.

Levi rolls his eyes, not bothering to conceal the fondness he has for his team.

“Get outta here,” He says not unkindly.

He didn’t think they would end up finding their way to a bar for two nights in a row. They’re getting ready for their third night at the same bar and Levi has to know.

What the hell has gotten into his team?

“Which one of you four idiots is gonna tell me where you’ve been sneaking off to?” Levi asks, appearing suddenly in front of Oluo and Gunther.

“We told you Captain! There’s a bar not too far from here,” Eld says enthusiastically, “There’s a rumor that they make their own alcohol with gold there.”

“Right,” Levi scoffs, “That has to be the only reason why you four come back shitfaced every night. Because of gold.”

“Not me, sir!” Petra protests, earning herself a glare from Oluo.

“Who are you lying to, Petra?” Oluo says, “And it’s not gold, Eld. I hear it’s diamonds and rubies. Sapphires, too.”

“How the fuck do you make alcohol out of diamonds, rubies and sapphires? Do you hear yourselves?” Levi says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“That’s what it tastes like, Levi. That’s what her alcohol tastes like,” Gunther says dreamily. 

“So which is it? You like the alcohol or you like her?” Levi says, a faint, uncharacteristic teasing in his tone.

“Doesn’t help that she’s very pretty, sir,” Petra says thoughtfully, tapping her chin.

“I’m sure it doesn’t,” Levi rolls his eyes, turning his back on his team, “Enjoy. You’re expected to be ready for training at dawn.”

“Yes, sir,” They all chorus while saluting. 

“Levi,” Gunther says, “You should come later, if you want. Hange and Mike will be coming later.”

“Tch,” Levi waves him off without another word and Gunther shrugs.

He has better things to do than drink shitty alcohol from a shitty bar with his friends and fellow soldiers. 

***

It turns out that Levi in fact, does not have better things to do than drink shitty alcohol from a shitty bar with his friends and fellow soldiers. Hange had convinced him to join them. And her version of convincing had been blackmailing him into holding his most favorite tea leaves hostage and loudly telling him that he needed to get out more often otherwise he’d turn shrivel up and turn into a grump-

“If we hurry and go, we can reverse the process before it’s too late.”

Which is how he found himself walking to the bar that Hange coerced him into going to. It’s called the Silver Sapphire, and honestly, he can’t think of a shittier name for a bar. Sapphires aren’t even silver.

Levi hates any amount of attention on him, and the way the bar goes silent for a moment when all eyes land on him makes his skin crawl. He sits at his own table, away from the ruckus of the other squad leaders and his own team as the noise around him resumes. He fully expects his team to see him and surround him soon.

At least none of the shitty kids were here.

“Captain Levi! You caaaame,” Oluo says, as Petra sits across from him. 

“Came to see what all the fuss was about,” Levi shrugs, “And Shitty Glasses decided to hold my tea leaves hostage if I didn’t show up.”

“Orrrr Captain Levi wants to see the pretty bartender,” Petra says in a singsong voice, eyeing him curiously.

Levi lets her have her fun. It puts a smile on her face, so he lets her have it. 

“Try some of my earthwater, Captain,” Oluo says, pushing his glass towards Levi.

“I’d rather die by the hands of my own blades than drink anything you’ve put your shitty tongue in, Oluo,” Levi says tonelessly, “Earthwater? What the hell is that?”

“The stuff made of diamonds,” Hange appears from around the corner and sits next to Petra, “You were right, Oluo.”

“Hange,” Levi says curtly, crossing his arms over his chest. Hange lets out a peal of delighted laughter at his irritation. 

“Shorty’s upset with me because I told him to get out of his office for the first time all week,” Hange whispers to Petra.

Levi rolls his eyes so far back he’s certain he sees his own skull.

Suddenly, Petra elbows Hange, discreetly looking at the bar and whispering to her with a tipsy giggle. Levi hears Gunther and Oluo sigh like lovestruck fools, even Petra and before he can ask them whether they are soldiers of the Survey Corps or whether they’re idiots in high school-

He sees you making your way to them from behind the bar and can kind of understand why they have hearts in their eyes, and why they’re behaving the way that they are. His own throat is a little dry but he clears it subtly, eyes not leaving you.

“Third night, huh? To what do I owe this pleasure?” You murmur, all smiles and warm, dark eyes. You have a notebook and a pen in your hand to take their orders.

Levi is aware of the intensity of his gaze over you. Your dark green silk shirt is neatly tucked into your black pants that hug your hips and your legs. It’s loose and yet sits on your torso like it was made for you. The dark green is a shade or two darker than the Survey Corps capes, but you wear the color much better than anyone in the Corps ever could. Levi catches a glint of gold at the base of your throat attached to a thread of gold wrapping around the column of your neck. The top two buttons of your shirt unbuttoned carelessly, allowing him a peek of your deep skin glowing with the lights of the bar.

He swallows.

“These four idiots have been raving about your drink, what is it dirtwater?” Levi says tonelessly, “Must be pretty shitty if it’s called dirtwater.”

“It’s called earthwater, actually,” You reply easily but Levi catches the bite in your tone, “You should have one. On the house. It’s my own recipe and maybe it’ll loosen the stick up Captain Levi’s ass a little bit.”

His teammates, all traitors apparently, snicker at your comment.

“Fine,” Levi scoffs, “I’ll have your shitty drink. And what happens when I decide that I don’t like it?”

“That won’t happen,” You wave him away with a smirk across your painted lips, “After all. I made it.”

And with that, you saunter away with the rest of their orders and Levi sinks into his seat imperceptibly.

You look over your shoulder and toss him a reckless wink and a rogue smile. It takes a second for Levi to realize that you’re looking in his direction. He turns his gaze away from you, ignoring the heat creeping up in his neck.

***

The minute you see Levi of the Survey Corps walk into your bar, you know you had to see him up close. You’ve only heard stories about him, rumors mostly. That he’s a well oiled Titan killing machine. That he’d climbed the ranks of the Corps quickly, too quickly. You’ve heard that he’s an Underground kid, and that has your interest piqued.

The entire bar goes silent when he pushes the doors open. Clearly, Captain Levi doesn’t just walk into bars very often. Your eyes immediately shift to the rest of the Corps, in a separate corner of the bar.

He looks disinterested as he observes the bar around him. You have an eye on him, as you do with all your new and high profile customers. You notice how he relaxes in his seat, but he has a watchful eye on his surroundings, too.

Maybe it comes from being from the Underground. Always trying to be five steps ahead of any perceived threats. Maybe it comes from his Corps training. Maybe both.

You can’t help your eyes from wandering as you watch him subtly from the bar. He’s handsome, somehow both rough and effortless at the same time. The planes of his face are lined with cues of life and loss and you wonder how close you can get to him to see more.

You prepare five mugs of earthwater, adding a little extra mint to their drinks to spruce it up. You strive to impress, and Captain Levi is no exception. Carrying all five drinks on a tray with one hand, you head back over to their table, ignoring the hollering of your patrons around you. You turn your head towards them while you’re still walking, and flash them a gratuitous wink to quell them. They sigh happily and you roll your eyes fondly.

They’re just drunk and happy.

“I’m back,” You announce, “One earthwater for each of you.”

You hand a mug to each of them, careful not to slosh the liquid over the rim. Levi eyes the mugs impassively- they’re made of shiny brass and have a thin handle on the side. And they’re clean, he realizes as he inspects the mug.

“I’m curious to hear your thoughts, Captain,” You say with a smile, your right hand on the table and your left hand on your hip. You lean on your right hand and Levi tries to ignore the way the collar of your shirt slips to the side, the hollow between your neck and shoulder exposed. He catches the glint of something shiny on your left hand before taking a sip in front of six pairs of waiting eyes.

They all lean in close to hear the verdict.

“It’s not shitty,” Levi says, pleasantly surprised. Not that you’d be able to tell. It’s a little sweet but not overwhelmingly so. He can taste richness in the aftertaste of the drink and the combination of it with mint is unlike anything he’s ever tasted. What exactly is in this drink? No wonder Oluo says it’s filled with diamonds and sapphires.

“Ha! I’ll take it,” You say triumphantly, “Well, enjoy. You know where to find me.”

Your dark eyes linger on Levi for a second longer, searching for the hidden roughness that only an Underground kid can have. But he’s no kid, and he hides it well.

So do you.

Levi is no stranger to pretty women, and he knows beauty when he sees it. At first glance, you look like you’ve been born and raised inside of Wall Rose. Your brown skin glows despite the absence of sun, you smile so boldly that your cheeks must hurt, your eyes are mischievous.

And yet. It only takes one sweeping glance at you, at your confidence and the twinkle in his eyes for Levi to see how much of yourself you’ve given to be here. To have something called your own. Your hands were rough when you had handed him his mug and he saw faint, old scars on your forehead and your neck when you had leaned in.

He can admire from afar, can’t he? No harm, no foul. It’s not like he’ll be coming back here anyway, right? He’ll probably be dead before he can.

[archival-staff]

thinking a lot about jon’s story and how truly tragic it is that he essentially stumbled into everything and how much he both tried to stop things and just let things happen and how much both of those hurt the people around him (putting under readmore bc it got long. note: does include a small comment abt my hc as cane-user jon! its just a side comment tho as this is v minimally edited and got away from me also heads up for it being written in second person!)

you, a traumatized child who found comfort not in the empty embrace of those who were supposed to love you but in the smile of a girl who lived without fear and how you wished you could do the same. How that smile turned hollow but how could you blame her, after all she’s just another person supposed to love you. And so, change is required and friends are lost and gained in turn, and you are drawn back to that time you watched your tormentor go to his doom and remember how all at once you were complicit and helpless in it and are thus drawn to an institute. It is similarly cast off in the eyes of academia, and you wonder whether the eyes on your back that when you turn disappear are from the cane in your hand or the scars in your heart, or if they’ve just seen you from the start. Your interviewer asks strange questions with piercing eyes, but this is a strange institution after all. You answer “I do not know” to the question of belief, to which your silver-eyed adversary (Adversary? No, that’s not right. He is simply a potential employer, though that thought does not quell the knot in your stomach.) replies “Would you like to?” The flash of cobwebs in your eyes and the shape of a square book in your hands weighs heavy as you all but choke out a yes. They have not left by the time you are standing to shake your new boss’ hand. 

There is confusion, and joy, and fear all the same. Everyone here holds a lock closed around a part of themselves, just as you. Still, you feel eyes on you. Then there are birthdays, and promotions, and friends in earnest, and holiday parties, and a few of your own locks are released. Never the one that sent you here; only visible in small jumps and cries and an assistant’s mug and paper. It is comfortable, down here. With your small group, though you do not forget the whispers of your predecessor you heard when you were with a more populated crowd, before your unexpected career shift. You keep these with you as you begin the seemingly endless task of righting her wrongs and are faced with your first step into the descent. 

The system becomes routine, after a while, no one willing to admit what the tapes mean for these statements, or for the people within. Each of them came to the institute, each of them after leaving were, well, you hope that writing it down had some benefit to them. You still feel the eyes on you; even down here, even this long in, you cannot shake them. Your shaky yes in that interview has strengthened to a firm answer, now. You knew since that day that things weren’t… right, but now you want to know just how many ways things can be wrong. And eventually, slowly, so, so, slowly, that want becomes a need and that need becomes certainty. And with that certainty comes fear, and worms. 

Suddenly your nerves, both psychologically and physiologically, are wrecked, and so are your assistants’, and somehow this is your fault, you are certain. This certainty begs to fester, like worms writhing under your skin, and you are once again complicit and helpless to stop it. You are seeing enemies where there are friends until your friends see an enemy in you. You learn of your newfound opponents, one of them you were right to fear. She is gone, and no one knew to mourn her. Then there is static in your ears and a body at your feet and you are to blame, no matter your innocence. So you run, to the only person you haven’t caught up in this, with that hollow smile turned warm again with time. The bloodhound catches your scent, though, adding another scar to your pile.  And from there everything is fast and bloody and messy and then it is halted and everything is false except the ties around your limbs and the promise of mutilation. You are saved by the falseness and then that in itself is false and true and changed. You do not know whether to grieve or rejoice, so you simply leave. 

You speak to a dead man, he asks you to kill him. You give him the peace you cannot obtain. The static brings you back to those who at some point considered you friends, now changed, not from any monstrous doppelgangers, but from simple human emotion. You agree to their plan, certain not everyone will make it out, but certain you don’t mind if it’s you. And everything is swirls and voices and you are not you but her and him and them and they are not them but you and then it is bright and loud and then it- 

You wake up, and it is once again your fault. You are The Archivist now and your Assistants do not deserve what has been wrought upon them. Those that are not dead are- absent, at best, but there is nothing you can do about it now. All there is is the eyes on your back and the doors in your mind. You ignore the one in the far reaches, bright red and with a steady knock… knock… knock… 

You allow yourself, however briefly, to give yourself to the thrall. Force their traumas from them with yours still carefully locked away. It is too long, and you are brought back, however lacking your old-turned-new ‘food’ source is. You don’t remember when you became so afraid of yourself. You finally, finally learn a way out of this, all the eyes burning holes in your sweater. You pay them no mind, they will only match the scars you already wear. You rejoice, to be free, but you do not wish to be free alone, and the last of your remaining Assistants is too far gone and far too sane to go with you. At least, in this, you will not find blame in your newly blind friend, but peace you once again cannot obtain. 

Then, you are Seeing and yelling and calling and grabbing and holding and asking. Feelings long ignored for favor of the next thing to go wrong take hold, lifting the fog from you both. And then there are road trips, and laughter, and love. Even with the eyes on your back, you feel free. Freedom, of course, is never without a price. And the eyes from your back crawl over you, onto your arms and in your hair and in your mouth as you speak the words on the page, desperately trying to put it down. The sky is red, and once again, you are to blame. 

[voldiebuns]

Horror Movie a Day 2020

The past couple of years I’ve done a challenge of trying to watch a horror movie a day through the month of October. Last year didn’t go well since I was so busy travelling, so I’m hoping for better this time around!

Under the cut you'll find my list of watched movies, plus rating and some thoughts about them. I’ll also be posting every day at my film twitter. Lemme know if you have any suggestions for what I should watch this month!

Hereditary (2018) | ★★★☆☆ This movie was... not at all what I was expecting from trailers and such. The devil worshiping angle was definitely a surprise, which I didn't entirely mind, but the first and second halves of the movie felt very disjointed from one another because of it. There were some good moments, but all in all, not entirely sure I liked the movie.

Parasite (2019) | ★★★★☆ More a thriller than horror, but I make the rules! I enjoyed this one a lot for the sense of tension it achieves even when not a whole lot of “action” was going on until close to the end. And of course how well it depicts class differences and how deeply affecting poverty is. Very good.

Attack of the Giant Leeches (1959) | ★★☆☆☆ Granted, this is over 60 years old now, but it’s still very bad. And not even in a particularly fun way. It’s honestly pretty boring and not scary at all... But at least it was short!

Piranha (1972) | ★☆☆☆☆ So 70s it hurts lol And also so boring it hurts. I spent most of the movie wondering when something was actually going to happen. But the real thing I wonder now is why this was in my sharks, piranhas, and monsters movie pack because there’s approximately two seconds of actual piranhas in this and they’re not even really attacking anyone?? I think they may have included the wrong Piranha because the picture on the cover is... not this movie lol

Them! (1954) | ★★☆☆☆ I actually thought it seemed pretty well made for the time, but it was definitely very slow. Interesting as a reflection of US nuclear fears, which I don’t think gets seen as much in movies, though!

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ This is... so bad. I’m pretty sure their budget had to be like $5 and half a gig of stock footage, but even aside from the godawful CGI, the cinematography is almost unbelievably awful and the acting is often cringeworthy. It also wasn’t particularly fun? But the romance was actually kind of cute.

Mega Piranha (2010) | ★☆☆☆☆ I honestly can’t even count the ways this was a terrible movie lol And still, not even in a particularly fun way! More cringe than cheese, which was really just disappointing.

Beneath Loch Ness (2001) | ★★★☆☆ This was actually really not bad. The graphics were incredibly 2001, but it came off as very heartfelt and the characters and their relationships felt real in a way they tend not to in these kinds of movies. I enjoyed it!

30,000 Leagues Under the Sea (2007) | ★★☆☆☆ Not really a horror movie, but in a pack with my other sea creature horror movies so it'll do. Production value was terrible and the plot was sketchy, but it had some interesting bits. Overall a pretty hearty meh for this one.

Tremors (1990) | ★★★★☆ First rewatch of the year! It's been years, though, and I needed a refresher before watching the rest. This movie is basically the floor is lava with killer worms and I love it lol A really fun movie!

Tremors II: Aftershocks (1996) | ★★★☆☆ Earl without Val was not quite so much fun, but they did some cool things with the graboids. Plus many more explosions! Biggest complaint is the puppets and CGI didn't always mesh well.

Tremors 3: Back to Perfection (2001) | ★★★☆☆ Wish they'd stop ruining things with worse and worse CGI lol This one got a bit goofy even compared to the others, but it was overall still fun!

Tremors 4: The Legend Begins (2004) | ★★★★☆ This one was really fun! I loved that they went back to the beginning of the town, especially since it was easy to see how it became Perfection in the end. I think it's the best one, tied with the original.

Tremors 5: Bloodlines (2015) | ★★★☆☆ The cinematography on this one was sometimes very weird. And the Jurassic Park homages went a bit past "homage" at point imo. But still a pretty fun watch.

Poltergeist (1982) | ★★★★☆ I think I'd seen this before, but I really couldn't remember. Either way, it holds up pretty well! Very engaging and creepy weird, with some good gross moments too.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) | ★★★★☆ Very enjoyable! Tim Burton's style meshed very well with the story, and of course the cast was full of wonderful actors. Unfortunate that Depp stars in it, but what can you do?

Underworld (2003) | ★★★★☆ Not horror exactly, but definitely adjacent enough. Great aesthetic and very enjoyable (re)watch! Also I super appreciated the soundtrack lol

Lake Placid (1999) | ★★★★☆ After I started watching, I realize I think I've seen this before. Still enjoyed it! The characters are definitely the draw more than the croc, though. Would have liked to see a bit more of it

Ghost Town (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ Holy bad acting and shaky cam Batman! Terrible movie with the barest hint of an interesting one beneath, but I think my biggest complaint is there was a Wiccan ritual being done... in the 1800s lol

The Little Girl Who Lives Down the Lane (1976) | ★★★☆☆ There were really no horror elements in this to speak of, which I found a bit disappointing, and I also didn't feel like it had a very satisfactory ending. But I did enjoy the movie for the most part. I guess I just wanted more.

The Witches (1990) | ★★★☆☆ Mostly just pretty goofy, but a fun watch and it felt very seasonal. Anjelica Huston was, of course, the best part! Though I'm always happy to see Jim Henson puppetry as well.

The Silence of the Lambs (1991) | ★★★★☆ This was uh dated in several ways that make it a bit of an uncomfortable watch. But I really did enjoy it! The Clarice/Hannibal dynamic was even better than I'd been expecting.

Killer Klowns from Outer Space (1988) | ★★★☆☆ Wow, that was something else lol Something absolutely ridiculous and incredibly weird, but also very fun! I really enjoyed the main three characters and the music too.

Insidious (2010) | ★★★★☆ Such a good sense of tension in this! A lot of that was thanks to the music tbh, but I do think James Wan just has a really good feel for horror. Also, a very good ending, I'm definitely excited to see 2!

Malevolent (2018) | ★★★☆☆ A fairly enjoyable movie, but it just felt a little lacking and it seemed like the end came up really quickly. To be honest it wasn't quite what I was expecting. I wish there would have been a bit more with the ghosts.

The Conjuring (2013) | ★★★★☆ A rewatch since it's been a few years since I watched it. Very enjoyable movie with good music, great tension, and some actually good jump scares. The Annabelle stuff seems disconnected to the rest, though, I wish that had been more tied in.

Annabelle (2014) | ★★★☆☆ This movie dragged quite a bit and I feel like things could have been compressed quite a bit and it would have been better. The cult connection also could have been explored a lot more imo, because it felt a bit slapped

The Last House on the Left (2009) | ★★☆☆☆ Way too much sexualized violence for my tastes tbh, but I liked the concept and the cast was very good. I think I'll try the original sometime and see how it compares.

The Amityville Horror (2005) | ★★★☆☆ I feel like I may have seen this before? Not really worth the rewatch lol Like this movie is fine I guess, it just felt a bit empty and was overall unsatisfying to me.

The Crazies (2010) | ★★★★★ I was a little iffy going into this bc I thought it might be zombie-esque, and it was, but I really enjoyed it! I liked what they did with the government satellite especially.

Midsommar (2019) | ★★★★★ I was expecting this to be good since I’d heard good things about it, and it so was! The sense of strangeness and building tension was excellent. And it was just such a beautiful movie tbh.

[welcometotheocverse]

Henry in 2x05 at the dinner at Lorelai's?

Ooooh okay

So Henry’s arrival at Stars Hollow is actually heralded by a fight between Liz and her Current Boyfriend Number Whatever who is at this point helping support the expenses and getting sick of Jess “mouthin off” and both boys “being underfoot and doing nothing half the time but sit around reading they got no respect for me-” ( which is yknow Bullshit bc they’re 17 and 10 but whatever he sucks)  And right after there’s a fight between Liz and Jess “Why..hey?! Why are you packing up my stuff??” “You’re going to Stars Hollow. Tomorrow.” “Excuse me?!” “Your uncle Luke, he’ll take ya in. It’s all set up. Oh you boys are gonna love it there-” “Fucking Excuse Me?!!” “Jess can you just for one fucking time-” aaaaand  a  huuuge ass screaming match later during which he is Very Much Staying In His Room For:  “So...I guess we’re moving huh” ( this all happens either before or after Luke is done yelling at Liz over the phone like we see in the episode. Theres just... its a yelling heavy day and then they’re on a bus to the Hollow)

Which leads to him not meeting Lorelai until the dinner because he doesn’t step down from the apartment for the entirety of the first day because of the fight and the whole “being shipped to a relative he’s never met before.” he’s pretty nervous and just stays put where Luke leaves him and also while Luke bought the frosted flakes and “kid food” he didn’t think to specify they were allowed to have it without asking so neither him nor Jess really go for it ( Jess picks him up like  a sandwich while he’s scoping the town out) so he’s like really hungry when they go. He’s mostly excited about not having to worry about asking permission to grab food because they were invited and he can just eat what they serve him and also is mildly curious about Lorelai and co. because  Luke’s...nice enough and she’s friends with him and the others are friends with her and despite being in a bad mood and not saying much Jess didn’t really say much about her when Henry asked  past “she talks a lot” and like everyone talks a lot compared to Jess sometimes so

So they get to the dinner and Henry’s v polite and looking around. He smiles at Lorelai and she at him and his first ( if not lasting) impression of her is “huh she’s actually pretty nice” and like he mostly sticks to Jess because neither’s keen on being apart in a place they’re new at. Unlike Jess though he actually smiles a little when he meets Jackson and Sookie because yeah they’re freaking out about a lemon but it’s...it’s pretty funny. He takes a liking to them and asks Jackson about fruit and is scared kinda looking around and sticking to Luke like glue ( like the questions come out hesitant) but nice to them smiling and trying to talk a bit  ( which is like his general  setting tbh.)

He sticks with Luke while Jess and Rory meet ( I haven’t decided if Jess asks Rory to bail in this because while yeah he tends to go on his own a lot ( because he doesn’t wanna be around Henry when he can tell he’s angry and also he hated being home a lot and it just became a habit) I don’t think he would do so when Henry’s in a house with A Lot Of Unknown People specially with how I’m interpreting their life with Liz to be in this verse) 

The dinner scene is actually v cute with him because it like...takes him by surprise just how homey it all is Luke and Lorelai playfully arguing about the food on Luke’s plate and Sookie talking about this dish and that and Jackson offering up conversation here and there. It’s like  a legit family dinner and mostly he’s pretty thrown and sorta just smiles and enjoys it. Rory actually gets him to talk about books since he takes after Jess in that ( though he likes different genres) and mostly he’s just a little kid getting a glimpse at a family dinner and being cute and shy and mirroring Luke ( he starts eating when Luke starts eating he relaxes a bit when he sees how Friendly everyone’s being ect) and coming a bit out of his shell and going “oh these adults are nice and wanna talk to me” and its v cute. I kinda love it. t-t

He’s aware Jess is “getting a soda” but sorta figures Jess either IS getting a soda or is out smoking and will come back so while he’s anxious because Jes isn’t there and he’s alone with people he doesn’t know it’s mitigated by him knowing Jess would not just up and leave with these many unknown people and also like I said they ( Sookie Jackson Rory and even Lore at this point and how homey everyone is and nice and Happy) put him a bit more at ease even if he doesn’t realize it.

I think this is also when some of him and Jess’ past living habits start showing like Henry Demolishes his food but doesn’t ask for more and after exchanging a glance with Luke Sookie offers him more and he -hesitantly- accepts and Rory brings up the books she was reading when she was Henry’s age ( Henry lets it out that Jess read similar books but he likes fiction better and isn’t in a hurry to read Bigger Kid Books even if he Can and Jess ( who always ahead in reading) is always bugging him about how great they are and then Rory  goes on a tangent about the merits of Fairy Tales and Fantasy as story telling with Rory doing most of the talking ( and kinda smiling herself at having someone who wants to listen and looks Up to her bc she is the babie mostly in Stars Hollow so hey nice for a change  and also she’s just straight up infodumping which is just really fun and even more fun when the person’s interested ( because this might as well be when i mention I hc both Gilmore Girls as ND) ) while Henry smiles again and listens because now he has something to say back to Jess when he pokes fun at his book tastes  even if he doesn’t completely catch everything she’s saying bc she’s going full on Future English Major but she makes sure to try to level with him and also wow he really likes Rory and she’s really smart like Jess and she likes him and wants to hear him talk about his books and  ins’t that ....that’s really nice and  is completely unaware of what looks the adults at the table are giving and its just...Its Very Cute. Listen Im love them.) and then Jackson pipes up ( when he can tell Rory’s losing Henry)  with “you know when I was his age mom would just tell us to go run around the farm. We did use to have this ball to kick around though you like outside Henry?” and again Henry’s very taken aback by being Included and talked to like that but it’s?? Nice?? And the food’s nice?? And he’s actually having a good time all things considered and feeling less on guard since he got there and its just A Nice Dinner Wow.

Until Lorelai goes to get the garlic bread/finds Jess.

I don’t think he knows she’s out there talking to Jess or what’s said but with the hypervigilance both Mariano kids have going, he definitely hears Lorelai slams the door ( and he had been keeping an ear out for Jess as well) 

I’m not sure if he follows Luke because even  if they’re nice he still isn’t in a place he feels safe around everyone or if he gets up After Luke because Jess is missing and a door just slammed and these are things where it’s best to Know What’s Going On And Also What’s Coming but he hears Lorelai’s “that kid is way more screwed up than you think he is.” rant and his opinion of her immediately just falls. 

See and here I’m kinda torn because I can see him going “My brother’s Not screwed up! You don’t even know him!” like really upset ( because yeah Jess can be grouchy and moody but Jess Is His Brother and Henry is privy to Why he’s moody and grouchy and specifically “screwed up” are words that really hit a nerve because he’s heard them before from people specifically about Jess and usually it means nothing good for either of them but also “screwed up” just Hurts to hear  and Lorelai realizes Henry’s listening and goes “oh crap” and Luke tells him to go sit back down and Then they keep arguing ( though Henry would still listen in on their fight because again Hyper vigilance) or if they just agreed as he watches and then when they hit “Go Find Jess” “Don’t tell Me what to do! I’m gonna go find Jess” Lorelai finally sees him and Then the “my brother’s not screwed up!” line happens

And on yet another hand I also don’t know if he would say it because while “I” would find it cathartic Henry’s character is Highly Not Confrontational like even when he’s not nice he would be scared to confront Lorelai because sassing is Jess’ thing and he’s seen what that can cause to happen yknow? So that I’m a bit fuzzy on.

But either way his opinion of her just kinda really falls really far really quickly ( remembering he was like “oh she’s nice” when the dinner started) and it doesn’t really go away until like after the accident when I have her shape up a bit. It really just sets up Lorelai for him as someone who A) does Not like them ( because to him if she doesn’t like Jess and doesn’t want Luke to take them in then she also must not like Henry and not want Luke to take him in) and B) someone who can Make Luke Send Them Back because their argument reminds him or Liz’ fight with her Boyfriend Number Whatever ( and a lot of past fights like “you know your kids are a hassle Liz.” “that kid of yours’ a fucking punk Liz” “Can’t  you keep ‘em out of the house? You know I work all day I pay all the bills-” ) which uh....Ended With him and Jess being shipped to their uncle so it’s not....it’s not great. From then on he’s pretty subdued and only really talks to Lorelai when she inquires things ( and this is the pattern that will continue until Luke and Lulu and Lorelai herself understand some things like he becomes really quiet around Lorelai and Cordial But Monosyllabic to the point shes like “wow they’re really brothers huh” at least once to Luke ( and is a really big contrast to how he is with Luke and Jess and some other people ) and pulls off some incredibly avoidant feats when she comes at the dinner ) and just on top of not liking her a lot from here on out sees her as Someone To Avoid/Someone Not To Be Trusted 

Anyways after the dinner all 3 head home and Henry ( when Luke is downstairs doing inventory or counting the till or some other thing)  shows Jess the garlic rolls he shoved in his pocket when no one was looking ( another habit he’s picked up)  and gives him some and it’s a nice moment between the two. Jess passes him one of his annotated paperbacks in return.

 Again ignore the caption gifs are hard to find lmao

Send me one of my OC's + a canon scene from the show and I'll tell you what they do in it/how they fit in