#bc even though i know this isn't true i've just been feeling a lot like everyone hates me :( or that i don't care about them

[kentopedia]

hi my beloveds <3 i just wanted to say, i feel so bad lately for not being a better friend and mutual, and i'm so incredibly sorry for that :( i haven't been in a great place mentally these past few months, and i feel so guilty for the fact that i struggle to be active and positive on here. i've been really horrible about keeping up with people and messages and fics etc, and even though i know this is just a hobby and just for fun, i do consider many of you my friends <3 i care about you all so very much and i feel so selfish for being so neglectful of everyone. it's just been very hard for me to balance things in my personal life and on here, and i am truly truly sorry i can't be better about it. i love you always, and i hope everyone knows that <3

[rkvriki]

˚୨୧⋆｡˚ ⋆ enhypen obliviously in love

hi.......lmfao i keep disappearing i swear i'm alive but my isnpo has been going down the drain but i got this cute lil idea also to take a break of all the smutty things i've been posting lolz... anyways hope you enjoy this one !

make sure to leave feedback and reblog! my requests are closed and my talk box is always open so lets talk!

WARNINGS ! none really i think?? this is just not my best work im sorry </3 word count: 1.9k a/n: sorry that some of them, mainly hee's, are smaller than others, my brain isn't functioning and i had a writer's block during this and if it's not goo it's bc i quite forced myself to write this bc i wanted to post sth :(

୨୧ LEE HEESEUNG ! - trying to hold your hand and failing

you and heeseung met through mutual friends in your first year of college and you became almost inseparable ever since then. in the beginning of it, you would only be together when the whole group was, but as time went by and you both started feeling more than just platonic feelings you two started hanging out alone as well. it was usual for heeseung to walk you to your apartment after classes and today was no different. you two walked side by side, the sun almost setting behind you. it was mostly quiet except for the background chatting and the small talk you two would make about something you saw. you could feel heeseung’s hand brushing against yours from time to time and you were internally cursing him out for not holding your hand already. after a few moments of silence, you heard heeseung sigh as he gained courage to hold your hand. his hand got closer to yours but- oh! a light post came between you two. needless to say heeseung was a blushing mess while you laughed at him.

୨୧ PARK JONGSEONG ! - confronting you about it

anyone had to be really blind to not notice the romantic connection there was between you and jay. it was so obvious you were both in love with each other, it was almost painful how one of the sides didn’t notice. that side being you. it’s not like you didn’t like jay romantically, because you do. a lot. but you felt like he just saw you as a best friend he tends to protect a lot. jay didn’t really show it, but he gets really frustrated when he tries to make a move on you in a subtle way, only for you to put him in the friend zone, but it’s all unintentional. every time someone tells you “jay totally likes you.” you’re quick to dismiss them because he would never see you like that. even though you’re the one saying it, it breaks you inside. until one day, you’re both in a diner, sharing fries and a milkshake and you can see jay fidgeting nervously and bouncing his leg repeatedly. “you’re restless, what’s going on?” you ask him, worried. jay sighs heavily and props his elbows on the table, staring at you with a serious expression. “look, i don’t know if i should just give up, because at this point you have to be pretending not to know.” he says “T-to know what?” he laughs at that. “that i like you, dummy.”

୨୧ SIM JAEYUN ! - tries to kiss you and fails

as childhood friends you and jake were always expected to end up dating by your fellow family members. you would always brush off any comments about you two (deep down you wish they were true) while jake just smiled like a fool while looking at you. it was no surprise when jake told his friends he liked you. it wasn’t hard to notice how he felt about you, seen the way he looks at you with glimmering eyes as he took in every word you say. he has never really tried to hide how he felt about you. he wasn’t ashamed of it and couldn’t wait for the moment you realized he liked you, because deep down he knew you felt like him too. it’s funny to him how he’s always making flirty comments and giving you kind of romantic presents and still you just thought he was playing his role as your best friend. but still, even though it was all funny and entertaining to watch, jake was tired of waiting and he decided to just directly show you how he feels. so that’s how you find yourself sitting in the park bench with him as layla plays around. jake takes a quiet deep breath as his hand comes up to brush your hair from your face, making you face him. he takes that as an opportunity to lean down. you, thinking he was gonna whisper something, turned your face to the side, making him bump his head against you. he starts laughing at you, making you confused. “you can’t really see it, can you?”

୨୧ PARK SUNGHOON ! - misunderstanding gone right ?

no one who knew you two understood how in hell you and sunghoon weren’t a couple. it was so obvious you both liked each other but still none of you seemed to do anything about it. you two were your class’s representatives so you two were almost always together and it wasn’t too hard to notice the lingering touches or stares you shared. but something the other students didn’t know was that you two had actually talked about your “feelings”. one day sunghoon almost overheard you telling your friend you liked him. “you like me?” he had asked “no! no, i don’t like you, sunghoon.” you answered trying to play it off. he nodded, his lips pursing. “good, then because i’m in love with someone else.”. it was something along those lines and you two had never talked about it again, but the tension never left. it felt heavy on you and it was painful to spend time alone with sunghoon so you settled that you were gonna tell him the truth. “remember that day you asked me if i liked you?” he hummed as he stopped in his tracks. “well, i lied. i like you, actually. i don’t want things to get awkward because you don’t feel the same but i needed to be honest.” his eyes widened as he stared at you like you were crazy. “are you kidding me? i only said i didn’t like you because you said you didn’t like me.” you gasped and pointed an accusing finger at him “why did you lie then? you said you were in love-” “hey! don’t put the blame on me now you lied too.” “well, we still can fix it right?” you said laughing making him do the same.

୨୧ KIM SUNOO ! - “PFT! who would ever like me?”

you and sunoo weren’t the closest people ever but you two spent a lot of time together since pretty much all of your friends were mutual. still, that fact didn’t stop you from developing a silly crush on him that quickly turned into something more serious the more you got to know him in the very few times the two of you were left alone after a group hangout. no one knew about it except for your best friend. you never told sunoo, not because you were afraid of rejection or him being rude because with how sweet his personality is, he would’ve rejected you in such a friendly manner it would make you think he’s reciprocating the feelings, but because no one like him would ever like you, he was way out of your league. so, confessing was definitely out of question, no matter how much your best friend would insist you would simply not do it. but in reality, it wasn’t really like that. one day you were hanging out with sunoo and your best friend at a cat cafe when suddenly in the conversation you said something along the words of “who would ever like?” and bold sunoo, was not afraid to hide his sincere feelings and answered with “i do.” he smiled while you looked up blushing furiously. your best friend laughing maniacally. “w-what?” sunoo chuckled at your reaction. “i thought i made it quite obvious that i liked you, silly.”  oh! who would’ve guessed!

୨୧ YANG JUNGWON ! - heard you liked “someone else”

you and jungwon had met each other in sophomore year of highschool and it was safe to say there was a connection instantly that was more than just a platonic one. you two quickly became attached at the hip. if jungwon said he was going somewhere it was sure that you would be here two, if you were being invited somewhere they could already expect the “can jungwon come along?” question, and vice-versa. it wasn’t strange when people came up to either you or him and asked if you were dating each other and it honestly shocked everyone when you both would always answer no to it, even your own girlfriends found your “friendship” strange. they did not find the idea of a boy-girl friendship weird or impossible to exist but they just couldn’t see your dynamic as friends so it was bound for them to question you. you heard the question so many times you decided to just tell them “fine! yes, i like him so, what?” you saw their shocked faces but they weren’t looking at you. you looked behind you seeing jungwon behind you. when you locked eyes he was quick to turn his back and walk away making you panic. a few days have gone by after that and you decided you needed to talk to him. “i’m sorry i didn’t tell you sooner. i didn’t want things to get ruined by this.” jungwon stared at you “who even is tha guy?” he asked making you look at him as if he had three heads. “what?” you asked “what what?” “jungwon the guy is literally you, i thought that was settled already.” jungwon stayed silent before laughing like a maniac. “if you’re here to make fun of me you can-” jungwon shut you off with a kiss, making you relaize where things went wrong.

୨୧ NISHIMURA RIKI ! - i don’t even know how to word this one

let’s settle one thing. you two knew you both liked each other. romantically. you just don’t bother on labelling it or directly showing it to each other. everyone around you found your dynamic honestly weird but to you two it was more simple than people put it to be. it all started when you were really oblivious about ni-ki’s feelings for you so he decided to hint that he liked you more than a friend. like one time you were walking to his house and he just shoot “you look cute.” but you didn’t quite hear what he said, distracted by a dog “what did you say?” he sighed “i said you look like a fruit.” “riki that does not make sense, but whatever you say.” and he started gradually getting bolder. “i can’t get this song out of my head.” you told him during class “i can’t get you out of my head.” oh! that was new information for you “thanks…?” at this point you were acting dumb for him and he couldn’t take it anymore so he got even more straightforward. during one of your daily walks you were rambling about a flower you saw on the way and he just let you talk as his hand sneakily grabbed yours, making you stop talking and falter in your steps “what?” he asked as if it was nothing “n-nothing!” he smiled as he kept walking along with you. after that day he noticed a change. a good one. and that’s when he realized you had realized so he decided to just get to the point “is it weird if i kiss you?” he asked when you were eating lunch in the school garden. you put your drink down and turned to look at him. “honestly, riki? yes. do i care? no.” so with that he grabbed your face, kissing you as he smiled against your lips.

[ask-whitepearl-and-steven]

Is shattering permanent in the comic (especially with the force fusions and cluster) or can it be fixed down the line like future did? Asking for your opinion on this too bc I found out about it in Future and it makes me feel weird (bc now it feels like any SU stuff and shattering has no consequence or tension, so haven’t been able to read or write stories). Maybe I’m seeing this wrong? Would love your thoughts

Hmm...

So to answer your first question: The comic for WDAU works on the same rules as canon does. I have no intention to over-write anything canon clearly stated to be true.

The ability to put back together shattered gems is definitely a part of that.

So yes, theoretically, even in WDAU, gems being shattered is not 'the end' because they can be eventually re-instated through the work of the diamonds, IF they someday decide to Change Their Minds like they did in the original series.

That being said...

I want to talk a little bit about something you said, because it tickles my brain in an interesting way:

"now it feels like any SU stuff and shattering has no consequence or tension"

And the best way to talk about stuff, I've found, is to ask questions about our underlying assumptions. So my questions for you (all) today are:

For us humans, death certainly IS a constant that remains ever-permanent, and thus it's easy to compare it to shattering and draw that parallel... but is that a fair comparison?

In fiction, death is often circumvented and there still remains reasonable tension in things like magic-heavy worlds, vampire novels, sci-fi where almost any sickness is eradicated, etc. Is this not quite similar to what shattering is for gems?

Is the perceived permanency of shattering the only reason it feels like a heavy consequence?

Are there OTHER consequences of being shattered that make it just as interesting, if not more than, to be explored as a plot device?

Must there be an ever-looming threat of something horrible and permanent happening to make a story good?

There isn't a right or wrong answer to these questions, necessarily. I'm not posing these in order to lead you to a singular, 'absolutely correct' conclusion or way of writing.

For some stories, death DOES need to be permanent in order not to make light of what the characters go through! In some forms of writing, there IS no other way around that consequence.

But I daresay SU is not one of those stories.

Let me put it this way - 100 years ago, medicine had only BEGUN to develop into the thing we know it as today. Sure, there were therapies and treatments for diseases, broken limbs, poisonings, etc. Some of them were quite good, even! But overall, the death tolls back then from basic illness were MUCH higher than they were today.

Pnumonia, Malaria, Syphillis, Smallpox, Bubonic Plague, AIDS.

These were things that people died from, with near CERTAINTY, for the LONGEST time. They were considered the road to a permanent black screen.

And today? Even though they are still, without proper intervention, JUST as deadly, we now have new tools and vaccines to combat them. Hell, if you get vaccinated fast enough you can get bit by a rabid dog and live to tell the tale, unscathed! Rabies used to be a one-stop-shop to the afterlife.

Despite this, we still view these diseases with appropriate fear. They are still dangerous - in the right conditions.

In the right conditions, the consequences for a LOT of things can be permanent. If permanency is what you're looking for.

So alright, the Diamonds can heal shattered gems now. Booooring. How easy it is to fix any shattered gem! What a simple solution to anything tragic.

But................... will they ALWAYS do so?

In fact...will the Diamonds ALWAYS be around?

Will the gems who got shattered always be picked up, piece by piece, and be brought back to them, perfectly preserved? Or will they lose pieces of themselves along the way - literally?

And what NEW consequences can we think of, when we stop thinking of the permanency of death, and start thinking of the Impermanence of those tools that keep us here longer and longer?

Just food for thought. 👀

[1percychase]

Unpopular opinion: Nico's trauma is over rated

Okay so I'm not saying that it's not validated or anything, there's a reason it's over rated, but so many fans act like he's the only one and that no one else's trauma matters because Nico has it the worst. When did we start comparing literal trauma?? I think somebody we should look into more is honestly.. Percy. He's the main character and all, but it's almost like all the fans forgot how much he's gone through, which is CRAZY to me. Anyways I have a list cause I love making list and yeah.

1. Getting abused by his step dad, which made him feel worthless and like he didn't matter.

2. Everyone bullying him.

3. The only person who ever seemed to care about him, his mom, disappeared.

4. Getting punished bc of his father.

5. Getting accused of stealing something and getting sent on a quest at TWELVE.

6. His first friend at camp betrayed him, which gave him trust issues.

7. His best friend getting kidnapped.

8. Getting turned into a guinea pig, which actually gave him a phobia over.

9. Having suicidal thoughts while only being THIRTEEN.

10. Never thinking he is enough.

11. His other best friend being kidnapped.

12. Watching Bianica sacrifice herself after he tried to stop her.

13. Holding up the literal sky while also being injured.

14. Being blamed for Bianica's death (and believing it.)

15. Finding out Nico is a child of Hades and deciding to protect him against the Prophecy even if he hated him.

16. Annabeth mad at him bc Rachel likes him, even though he can't control that.

17. Getting lost and separated in the Labyrinth.

18. Watching Pan fade out of existence.

19. Watching Bekendorf explode on a boat.

20. Being the Demigod of the Prophecy.

21. Fighting a war on his birthday, the battle of Manhattan.

22. Watching so many people die in front of his eyes, knowing he couldn't save them.

23. Silena betraying him and the camp (I don't think she was a bad guy at the end but yea.)

24. Feeling guilty that Luke committed suicide and blaming himself when it isn't his fault (idk how true this one is but I've seen it so..)

25. Being kidnapped and all his memory taken away.

26. (This one is kinda a joke) Watching Octavian kill his pillow pet.. rip perry the panda pillow pet.

27. Being in another Prophecy of the seven.

28. Being afraid of drowning, while also being a child of Poseidian.

29. Falling into Tarturus with Annabeth.

30. Going completely psycho and mad.

31. Leaving Bob it Tarturus and feeling super guilty about it.

32. Making Gaia rise with a nosebleed.

33. Fighting in the battle of camp half blood.

34. Thinking Leo died.

35. Finally thinking he has a break and getting asked to help Apollo.

36. Becoming an older brother. (it's not like physical trauma but I'll explain it later)*

37. Jason's death.

38. Going on more quest to get college recommendation letters.

*okay so becoming an older brother was on this list because even if he was so happy to get a half sibling, he's been an only child for a long time and it's hard to accept new people in your life. Also older brother duties. Even if he was just leaving the house when she was a couple months old, I still put it on there bc many people can count it as one. Also I'm the oldest out of 6 kids growing up so I would count it lol*

And people still have the audacity to say percy was too much of a jerk in heroes of olympus, please. I would act the same way.

Anyways I actually have a list of a lot of different characters traumas cause I got bored one night so I might post them <3

[evelili]

As an immigrant child, your new fic had resonated with me. It made me tear up eating dinner with my family.

When Saffron said, “This selfish desperation to know that I haven’t lost my connection to my home." It instantly took me back to being constantly teased by my friends for not being 'in tuned' with my culture like how they were, or how I desperately tried speaking in my native tongue with my parents, despite having a very clear american accent and them constantly assuring me that speaking in english is fine. My grandmother had passed earlier this year, she was the grandparent that I knew the least. I started asking about her from her sisters as my mother isn't in the state to answer anything, I've tried so hard to pick up the pieces of what her sisters have told me to construct an image of her personality. She used to constantly ask me to call her so when I read about Saffron talking about how video calls have were never the same and never enough, it hit me like a load of bricks.

Your fanfiction is so tremendously beautiful in describing the feelings I have felt all my life. How I know that where I am right now isnt home, but my actual home has been so unfamiliar after my grandmothers passing. I have constantly felt like I have disappointed her, so when Sunset confessed to the same thing, I couldn't hold my emotions in anymore. The ending with Saffron talking about how she would be waiting for Sunset to come home if she was her mother made hope that was true with me and my grandmother, if I were to ever reunite with her again when I pass away myself.

Thank you so much for writing this story. It was the most comfortable yet intense stories I have ever had the blessing to read. I am sorry for rambling and I hope this entire message makes some sort of sense? I hope whatever you're dealing with gets solved to the way you have hoped it would.

You have also made me see dal in a new light, it was never a food that I used to like, but I am willing to give it another shot lol

i looked at this ask earlier and had to take some time to process how to respond to this. i think tho i still dont really know how to, so i hope thats ok!

first of all, thank you so much for being comfortable enough to tell me ur story. it really means a lot that you would open up to me, a stranger, and the fact that you did so bc something i made had an impact on u quite actually moved me to tears. im a bit of a soggy mess rn lol. thank you again, truly.

second, i want to express my empathy for you and your situation with your grandmother. my grandad passed away before i could graduate, and it was during the height of lockdowns, so i hadnt seen him in a while. i didnt go to visit him in the hospital, so theres always this feeling of "what if i had called more? what if i had tried harder to visit? what if i spent more time with him?" that doesnt really go away. and, as a kid of 2 immigrant families, i can also really empathize with feeling a disconnect from your culture--when ur not surrounded by ur parents culture but u also visibly dont look like ur "from" the one u were raised in, it can feel really alienating, even though you havent done anything except just. exist in this sort of inbetween?

all of this i guess is to say that, i put a lot of my own experiences into this fic. and it's almost relieving in a way to know that u saw what i put there, and that this experience is something that other people have felt as well. thank you so very much again for reading ;v;

[yuseirra]

No... But I really think Ruby may be the key to saving them all in the end?? I want her significance to increase, I suddenly feel a huge hunch that what she told her father in ch 147 might really happen, with her shining brighter than anyone, saving everyone in the end?

If we see the the respective gods that the hoshino family may each stand for,

Ai=Amenouzume

Hikaru=Sarutahiko

Aqua=Susanoo

Ruby=Amaterasu

Right? And isn't Amaterasu the most powerful god in Japanese Mythology? I think there is a reason why she's been set as the most powerful of them all,

Ai is THE idol, she's the god of the arts, of course she excels in the field (and whenever I look up illustrations of her for reference, she seems so elegant and beautiful~

I feel like the reason Ruby can surpass her is not because she's more talented in the field but.. It's more like her essence is a more powerful entity compared to her mother, she's the sun god. The most major god in the myths.

I've said this a lot but Hikaru seems to be Sarutahiko; he has to do with guidance and leading people to the right path. He's been given a "fatal flaw" and totally broke down after Ai's death, and I think his powers have become unstable even before that because he was abused and hurt, people around seem to grow insane... I mean, they probably asked for it themselves and it's not his fault that things became so disastrous, but I think he could have subconsciously led them into choosing the WORST paths they ever could take because he's broken. That's maybe why Tsukuyomi is getting involved, it really may be this guy who's been causing problems being a god who doesn't realize they are one. I feel like if there has to be a single person in this comic that is a god who doesn't realize they are a god, it'd be him. It adds up with both Fatal and Mephisto's lyrics!! Listen!! I think this must be it!! The things that are happening around him are SO unnatural to be thought of as pure luck, how is his life this unfortunate?? What are the odds of having what's happened to him occur to a single person? People die around him. If Ai wants to save him, I don't think it's something he wants. This guy needs saving, he was noble!! I think.. He embraced this fate of his though?? In order to save Ai or sth if you see the lyrics of Fatal.. If you think of it this way, the way he was all like "It's because of me" when Yura died also makes sense, he could have caused it with his powers, idk if he wanted it or not but he did warn her beforehand so I hope not;; he still believes it's him that's the cause bc his powers influenced her maybe??? In this case, Kamiki IS a walking disaster and I do get why Aqua thought he needs to disappear for Ruby's future

Aqua didn't have so much connections with water or storm or the ocean expect for his name but he falls into the waters now lol I ACTUALLY PREDICTED THIS TOO.. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT..

Back to the part about Ruby, maybe she REALLY is the hope to save everyone.. By shining...somehow...I have no idea how but the idea of her bringing some sort of salvation?? Was sort of introduced in 147 you know. And her dad seemed to be happy about it.

Ruby is the most powerful one out of the family if they are gods in essence or at least related to them. I have a feeling that interaction she had with her dad wasn't just there to show her dreams. Somehow.. She may be able to bring light back the way Amaterasu stepped out from the cave she hid and relighted the world. It may not be Aqua who saves his dad(he looks like he's given up on it o<-<) but her. Not just her dad but Aqua too. And maybe even fulfill her mother's dreams too. In this case, Ruby could prove why she's our protagonist along with Aqua and become the true key character to bringing forth a bright ending!

[cool-person-yey]

If you were to psychoanalyze the characters from tmagp, what would you say about them as well as how that affects them and their outlook on life?

now THAT is a loaded question

Sam -> oh that boy is not well. getting rejected from the institute fucked him up a lot, and all the expectations his parents ( and himself) had for him didn't help. all of that resulted in him being a massive overachiever & people-pleaser, n also his obsession with the institute. Sam feels that need to prove himself, prove that he's good enough, and if for some reason he isn't, he needs to know why. he's trying to cross-reference cases, looking for the answers— and yet, he's being deprived of them. again. I've noticed that he's slightly manipulative, not like, playing people to do what he wants, but just small little actions and stuff he says that seem harmless at first but do have second intentions in mind. I'd say it's related to the whole Gifted Kid Burnout™ thing, usually ex-gifted kids are great at lying and schooling their expressions to not show what they truly feel and think.

Alice-> oh she is not fine. not fine at all. We don't know how her experience at the institute impacted her (or if he remembers it at all. I think she does, just trying to ignore it) so I'll leave that aside for now. Her parents' deaths resulted in her having to fill that role for Luke, and she probably did not have time to grieve properly for them (yes, Sam helped her, but there's only so much a friend can do. and in a way, grieving never really stops). Her 'jokester doesn't care about the horrors' demeanor is meant to hide the simple fact that she is scared she probably has been for a while, but never had the chance to show it, and know she doesn't know exactly how to. if she can't make it funny then she'll ignore it, it's better that way.

Gwen-> yeah she's not good either. honestly no one in this fucking office is alright. The first thing we know about Gwen is that she comes from a rich family, and that obviously impacts heavily how she views the world, the scene that portrays this the best is when she welcomes Lady Mowbray into the OIAR because " she's an actual lady'' ( like the most dangerous thing isn't an old British lady) Gwen is very much an elitist. she needs to be at the top at all costs, she needs to be "In it". While her experience with Bonzo definitely shook her up quite a bit, she does not seem to want to go back though. We don't know much about her personal life (outside her family being rich obv) so I won't comment on that.

Lena -> I think she might be the most unwell on this list. she doesn't interact much with the others, but she does care a lot, we have basically 0 information on her background (outside of headcanons, and while I have many I'll only talk canon stuff here) so I won't comment much on it, but Lena seems like someone who was taught to always obey and not to ask many questions. she wants to complete the tasks management send her, not only because she needs to obey, but also because they're supposedly helping the world with that work. Lena cares, she just doesn't show it, I'd say either because she was taught not to, or because she learned it the hard way that caring may be your downfall.

Celia -> this one's a bit complicated. everyone and their mother have talked about how celia is the same one from tma etc etc. and yeah, I believe in it BUT since it wasn't properly confirmed yet, I'll talk about tmagp-only Celia first and then tma-travelled-to-tmagp Celia bc that's a whole other angst ( well not that they don't have stuff in common, but they're for different reasons)

So we know very little about Celia actually. she has a son, she likes little doughnuts, she wakes up in the middle of the night at a train station sometimes. She seems very reserved to talk much about her own life, even to old friendships such as Georgie. Celia is a very secretive person, she does believe the cases are true and does not hide that fact, even bringing it up at her date with Sam. Jack adds an interesting layer to her character, we haven't seem much of him yet, but I think that eventually her Mother Instincts and protectiveness will come into play. So overall, Celia is a pretty reserved person that does believe in the horrors, but doesn't want her loved ones to be involved in the horrors ( unless they show an interest in it? lots of people have theorized that maybe she is not in love with Sam or something, while i do not share that theory it is something to consider still. ) She definitively had a past experience with the horrors though.

now our beloved tma-celia-went-to-protocolverse-celia. Like i mentioned before, she has basically the same personality as— well, herself. but now I can pick out these traits and explain the reason behind them ( or speculate because this is a theory, even if like, everyone has agreed on it. we could just have been fools the whole goddamn time. do not forget that) first of, her being extremely secretive is kind of obvious, trying not to attract unwanted attention and not have many people involved in it, as not to harm them. Celia has first-hand experience with the horrors, she lost herself in it, she doesn't want that to happen to anyone else. I choose to assume Jack was born before she took tmagp's Celia's place, and she did not have the courage to just get rid of an innocent baby (tmagp celia was too but hey, telling lies to justify our actions is easier when looking through a mirror). She cares, she even became georgie's friend again, she cares a lot and she knows she'll have to work hard to keep the people she loves safe.

We don't know that much about collin and teddy yet, although if anyone want to psychoanalize them go for it!

thanks for sending this question anon! and i apologize for taking a while to asnwer it, and if any of the asnwer seems weird or not like what a human person would say, it is because they were written all in different times and places and stages of sleep deprivation.

[unicornpopcorn14]

No Longer Human- Exclusive Rambling

Sooo I've been thinking about Dazai's ability a lot lately, and I get endless questions that are too intriguing not to share... (Feel free to discuss them w me or even add more questions to the bunch! :D)

First and foremost, does nullifying abilities feel different from one person to another?

Like, is there a certain code for abilities that Dazai senses and decodes when nullifying them? Can he identify a person by just touching them and feeling which ability he just nullified?

Say he's in a dark room with Kunikida, Atsushi and Kyouka. Is touch enough for him to determine who's who? Based on each of their abilities' "codes" (I'm not sure what to call it but you get the gist of it) that he's memorized by now?

The reason I say code, and not the ability itself, is bc it's confirmed Dazai can't figure out an ability by touch (the whole reason Fyodor's true ability was previously unknown), and it's also why I say 'memorized', because coming in contact with a random ability certainly wouldn't be as recognizable as a familiar one; like, say, one of the agency members'. Concurrently, there is a possibility of him getting tricked into thinking an ability is one thing, when it's something else entirely...

Thinking about it, that would explain the green numerals/characters that accompany No Longer Human when activated (See: Gif), as if he's rewriting the ability user's 'program', sort of reverting them back to their 'primal state'.

As a writer, random questions and headcannons often spring up, and you can't help but want to further explore their potential.

So imagine a scenario, where there is a scientist who specializes in cloning people, even people's abilities, for ulterior motifs. A detective agency member is kidnapped for several days, and comes back presumably fine with a convincing story. Though, the moment Dazai touches them, he immediately figures that this is an imposter because the conding is jarring, and it feels different. This isn't what he senses when he nullifies his coworker, no.

But I feel that if that were true, then that means that Dazai constantly decodes the ability while touching it. And the more the touch lingers the longer he keeps absorbing the power, which is the reason I believe his holds never really linger for long,

except, of course, when it comes to Chuuya... (Sigh, these two (⁠-⁠_⁠-⁠;⁠))

On another note, does nullifying abilities in their "fully formed" stage require more energy than in "human form"?

This is more of a headcannon of mine, because I just can't find it possible that nullifying Corrupted!Chuuya, a singularity, is just as easy as nullifying a Chuuya who is not even using his ability. The same goes for Atsushi with his complete tiger form vs his everyday look.

It would make way for some cool complications, and would give No Longer Human some kind of drawback, as is the case with every other ability in that universe.

What if, after a long day of nullifying Atsushi's and Akutagawa's fully-formed feuds (and you know these two have a ridiculous amount of energy), Dazai gets called for a mission with Chuuya and corruption has to be used (much to his own opposition), and the moment he touches Chuuya, a full body jerk emits out of him and he intantly collapses.

Chuuya, in the few seconds he's away from passing out himself, is naturally freaked out by this, thinking he'd hurt Dazai during corruption or something. He fights the overwhelming exhaustion, his scorching injuries, all so he can check that his former partner isn't bleeding somewhere, and when he's assured, his body lets him rest.

(You decide what kind of comfort ensues after the two of them or one of them wake(s) up :3)

I'll probably add onto these hcs or Questions in the future. No Longer Human might be the simplest/most straightforward ability in the series, though that simultaneously gives way for so much depth and nuance (if you're imaginative enough hehe)!!

[hwanswerland]

i have many opinions after the ateez ticket sale and i really want to rant bout them some more. i feel like this really showcased what i dislike about kpop as a genre and general concept and what stereotypes about it i see as (somewhat) true: that the artist is a commodity, and it's only about the money.

because wdym you have to pay 250 to 550 euros to be able to stand in front of the stage? i've been to a few rock concerts of big, internationally famous bands, and was like second row just because i arrived like 30mins earlier than i expected. and i paid 85 euros for that lol. someone i know got front row seats for paul mccartney and they were 150 each and they were considered expensive but worth it to a super fan. not to mention that at a kpop concert the general standing ticket is soooooo fucking overpriced for getting a guaranteed place behind all the vips and no way of being really close to the stage. my sister paid 90 for taylor swift standing tickets, like hello???? 100+ for a ticket is already far too much imo.

i hate that you have to pay that kind of money to see an artist you like. and for a kpop group where SEEING them is definitely part of the appeal of going and everyone knows that, it just feels so evil that companies price tours like this, knowing the fans are going to pay whatever anyway. however 550 euro is more than i pay for rent and never in my life would i pay that much just to see someone sing and dance on a stage. no shade to everyone who would and does, i'm happy for everyone who got a ticket. but still. that's just evil. isn't art supposed to be for everyone, accessible to EVERYONE and not only the priviledged?

while i'm at it i have some things to say about the vip1 things that may not be very popular opinions lmao. firstly not to mention getting signed things (like last tour i believe) just by paying a lot more than others -> people not as priviledged may never/with difficulty get something like that, and tbh many people i've seen online really thinking of themselves as 'better fans' just because they paid more. what a fucked up world this is lmao. i mean people get vip1 for barricade and the send off event right? i get wanting to be in the front row, even though i cannot understand most people then watching the concert through their phone, recording everything in hope to get their y/n moment, which is another thing i could rant about forever. anyway, the send off. idk what it's this time, but hi-touch has been what happened before so maybe it's that again and literally all i have to say about that is YIKES. bc let's be real, what you're paying for is to touch a stranger, who by virtue of contracts and people hvaing paid horrendous sums cannot actually consent to this. maybe they don't mind, maybe they do, we will never know because they're not allowed to say and everyone saying that they'd tell us if they're uncomfortable is delusional. like they get off the stage after hours of extensive physical workout, put into hair and makeup again to clean them up and make them look flawless again, and then made to sit/stand/wave/etc. i'm more than willing to pay artists, and in return i expect them to perform whatever i'm there for, but that's it. it's their job to put on a show. but does it really also have to be their job to fulfill some parasocial fantasies their fans, that they do not even know, have? especially when it's not even them doing it of their own free will. the members showing up in the pop-up stores last tour okay, if they want to say hi to fans then good for them. but staying late after a show? idk man. it really just doesn't feel right to me to treat them like products like this.

[venus-is-thinking]

Deciphering the DRDT Character Playlist

Hello DRDT community! @accirax and I took a look at the official character song playlist [remade version bc it got deleted or privated] and decided to take our own shot at figuring out whose is whose and what it means. It's pretty late, but we have at least some sort of a guess with reasoning for every song!

We used a combination of Genius lyrics, the vocaloid lyrics wiki, and google translation of Japanese lyrics in the YouTube description to get a decently functional interpretation of every song. Our theory goes through the songs in the order they show up on the playlist (we're pretty positive it isn't kill order), which means our confidence varies heavily from song to song. With that being said, let's go!

Diamond is Unbreakable by Yunno Kago: Ace Markey

This song does not have many lyrics, so a lot of our guess is based on vibes (though it gives much more than some other songs). The rock instrumental with more yell-based vocals feels like it suits Ace though, and I feel safe to say that Ace has had a breakdown (and may have many more in the future).

Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson: Teruko Tawaki

This song fits Teruko quite well. It has an edgier sound to it, but it isn't completely uncaring if you look at the lyrics.

I can't go on living alone now that you're gone You done me wrong, so here's your song

It reminds me of the scene where she plays with the cacti. She clearly misses Xander (and possibly others in her past), but that obviously doesn't stop her from feeling betrayed by them either.

There are a lot of lyrics about bitterness too (ex. "words can stab as deep as night," "bitter air and the winds of spite"), which reflect how Teruko has been treating the rest of the cast in Chapter 2. It's a duality of caring too much and acknowledging the harshness of the world, which encapsulates Teruko's character quite well.

RUNAWAY by half alive: Hu Jing

Not gonna lie, we were struggling on this one. This song is pretty much entirely predictive of a character arc that Hu might have later on. We're predicting this based on Hu's secret quote, which is basically the only reason we gave this song to her: "I want to pay for what I've done. But even then, I still want to live."

This implies that she has not paid for "what [she's] done," which probably relates to her secret. I know a lot of people think she might be the hopeless child, but I'm far more partial to the theory that Hu is the one who poisoned her competition. If she hasn't paid for it, it's possible she feels like she ran away, from the situation which could open the door for her handling those feelings later on.

cartoons by Louie Zong: Rose Lacroix

This entire song is about drawing and thought processes, which both relate to Rose's character pretty strongly. The recurring lyric of "it's all just cartoons in [her] head" makes me think of her photographic memory, which takes real life and permanently stores it in her mind.

There are also lyrics like "feeling every day the same" and "trying to make that old deadline" that strongly relate to her background with the Spurling Foundation. She feels like she's just watching the rest of her life go by as a corporate slave, and those feelings are wrapped up in a light and airy song, matching Rose's demeanor.

asymptotic by Louie Zong: Charles Cuevas

This is a silly little nerd love song. As a CharWhit shipper, I definitely think that there's a strong chance that this relates to Charles' feelings about Whit, calling him a "cutie face in x-y space" and other such things. It's pretty simple, but it's true that, romantic or not, a lot of Charles' character arc thus far has revolved around his relationship with Whit and realizing that he does enjoy spending time with his classmates.

However, notably, there's also the lyric "I'll forget," which made me start thinking about Charles' past he forgot about.

Asymptotic, obliquely Here's the point of this speech As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

This reads to me as being about Charles' memories or the older brother he doesn't remember losing. As close as he can get to remembering or understanding what happened through things like the secrets motive, it won't be the same as actually returning to that past or remembering it in full. Maybe that's reading into things a little too hard, but I think the interpretation is there to be read.

A Mistaken Belief of Love by Niru Kajitsu: Eden Tobisa

I'll be direct: this relates to our theories about how Eden is the Chapter 2 killer. I'm a particular proponent of the interpretation that Eden didn't believe Arei when she said she wanted to be friends and decided she wanted to escape back to her old life, to the girl she kissed. I'm not going to go into that Eden theory now, but @/1moreff-creator and @/thebadjoe have a great thread going back and forth which goes over a lot of what I personally believe to be true.

If you assume that Eden is the killer and wanted to be Arei's friend but gave up on the possibility when Arei snapped at her, the lyrics start to make sense. "Then I'll kill you at our rendezvous" would clearly relate to Eden summoning Arei to the playground just to kill her. "I just wanted to mistakenly believe that you loved me" relates to Eden's feelings towards Arei and the rest of the class, but that "mistaken belief" was shattered, causing her to kill.

Shunran by John/TOOBOE: Arei Nageishi

This song chronicles Arei's entire character arc, from prologue to death. It starts out much more aggressive and unfriendly, saying things like "I won't pay attention to small fry" and "I become angry easily." However, there's a recurring lyric that shows how she actually feels.

They say that praying to be loved is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.

Arei desperately wants to be loved, for people to be nice to her, but she's learned over the course of her life that she couldn't have that. Still, she can't help but want to be loved, so even when she knows that David is a manipulator, she still listens to his words. Even when she knows she's been awful to Eden, she swears she'll do anything to prove to Eden that she's serious, that she really does want to be her friend.

I pledged a ceasefire. My personality peeled off and fell because I have the courage to accept disappointment

As the song progresses, that desperate desire to be loved creeps its way into the actions the singer takes as well. Arei was willing to put aside her meanness she learned as a defense and try to stop the fighting, try to become friends, because she's strong enough to try even if she might fail. Through it all, all she wants is to be loved.

Yesman by Niru Kajitsu and Hachiya Nanashi: Nico Hakobyan

This song has a lot of lyrics relating to how the singer expresses scorn or insults. We know that this is a focal point of Nico's struggles with communication: they don't know what comes across as hostile or helpful.

However, as the song progresses, it gets more purposefully aggressive. There's a particular set of lines that seem to relate to how Nico interacts with Ace. They can tell Ace that they hate him, directly, and no one even blames them.

You could say that and you're still just a kid. How amazing!

This, in my mind, relates to Nico saying that they'll kill Ace (and clearly meaning it), but Hu still babies them. They can get away with all kinds of things.

There's no reason for me to turn back now, huh? I was caught in my own trap

Nico then, realizing that they can get away with a lot, goes after Ace, trying to literally kill him. They were caught, though, explaining the second lyric here.

The song also has a prominent lyric: "I'm an introvert, just waiting." There are variations on this, but I think it gets across the core idea: Nico is quiet, but they're still a part of the story the whole time, waiting for an opportunity to get their way.

Undead Enemy by Suzumu and Giga P: David Chiem

This song hinges around David's false persona of smiles and motivation and his true self who hates everything and everyone.

For whatever reason, he put on a mask symbolizing The leading role he had yearned for in the past.

Here, David is choosing to put on that motivational speaker persona.

And, from the next day onward, The unhappy boy's smile did not falter, He was even loved by someone

David then keeps up that happy and inspirational self, without fail, so that the world will love and accept him as the Ultimate they expect him to be.

However, the lyrics are filled with more hateful lines that sound more like him in Episode 11.

Slander and criticize, and then, I won't need anyone else. Just leave me alone

I act spitefully in disgust and force a smile

While he pretends to be happy and good, he knows himself to be much worse. This song focuses on those true colors.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves: Levi Fontana

Levi is a very pensive character. The main line of the song is "tell me what you did it for, 'cause I can't figure it out." That could relate to Levi's apparent struggles to understand others and what the "correct" thing to do in social situations is, like when he asks others how to handle the situation with Ace. I also like the interpretation that he could be talking to himself, wondering why he did what he did in the past. (Whatever mysterious past Levi has, it's clear that he did some things he's not thrilled about, and he seems to have a lot of feelings surrounding it.)

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

I'm personally not an AceVi shipper, but this line would definitely relate to Ace. Levi messed up in the first trial, threatening Ace, but in Chapter 2, he's trying to make up for it. Nothing he seems to do works, though, so he's at a loss as to what he could possibly do to make it up to him.

Hi-Fi Evolution Theory by Keu Studio: Veronika Grebenshchikova

Disclaimer, we had to put this song through google translate, so our lyrics might not be entirely correct.

Given that, though, I'm pretty confident this song must be Veronika's. There are a lot of lyrics that indicate her, but the most important ones surround what we've most recently learned about her: she can't stand boredom and will do just about anything for fun.

But is it selfish to have fun?

The one who laughs last is the winner

Even though Veronika knows that enjoying the killing game or possibly even working against the group's best interests in it is stupid at best and evil at worst, she'll still do it as long as it keeps her entertained. If she's selfish, she's selfish; she'll do it either way.

tip toes by half alive: Min Jeung

This song heavily ties into Min's outlook which she explains in her bonus episode. The lyrics mention a "need to be known," or a "pride" that's "screaming." She internalized a core need to become an Ultimate to keep her going forward and to preserve her hope.

She does want to change her behavior, though.

My future will listen to me, Listen to me, listen to me

Min is trying desperately to find a life for herself now that she's become an Ultimate. She wants to learn how to live after she's achieved the goal that her entire life has centered around. This song is her searching for the life that she wants to live in spite of her previous experience.

The song also sounds sort of desperate with its repetition of "listen to me" and the overall vibe of the instrumental. This fits in with Min's increasing desperation as she realizes, at the end of the first trial, that she won't have a future to figure out anymore.

Polygonal by fallstay (ふぁるすてぃ): Xander Matthews

This one was also put through google translate, so apologies for any mistranslations!

This song makes sense for Xander if you consider his clear survivor's guilt, visible through both his bonus episode and his secret quote, which is, in the most literal way possible, the dictionary definition of survivor's guilt. It mentions a "life full of mistakes" and describes other similar thoughts.

I'm dizzy and it hurts so much that I feel like throwing up

The urge to scream and someone's loud sobbing

That's my pain

These all feel like ways Xander interprets his past, which is his pain. We already know that Teruko accidentally running into him and hitting his eye hurt so badly he passed out, which is a step beyond "dizzy." Someone could be sobbing about his past; maybe it's even him. The things in his past that haunt him are what shape who he is and his actions, and that's what this song is about.

Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy: J Rosales

This one has like one lyric. The vibes fit J though, and I don't really know who else's it would be or what other song would be hers, so it stays.

desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Arturo Giles

I'm not gonna lie. This is an instrumental. We have no idea what it means. This was process of elimination. I don't know what other song Arturo's would be so he gets this one.

(In all seriousness, you COULD give this one to Hu because it's music and she's a musician, give Arei the more hopeful RUNAWAY and give Arturo Shunran. The beginning of Shunran fits him decently, but I think the interpretation sort of falls apart in the middle of the song, at least given what I know about his character, and I think it fits Arei much better.

After we read some other theories, too, we think there's a viable shuffle that goes like this:

desk rotation: Hu (musical connection) tip toes: Arturo (generally prideful, future emphasis contrasting with his secret forcing him to think about the past) asymptotic: Min (abstracted to apply to the life she wants to seek out, math works as Ultimate Student) RUNAWAY: Charles (relating to him "running" from his past memories, positive growth arc)

While I still like our initial interpretations for Charles asymptotic and Min tip toes, I like the handling of RUNAWAY and desk rotation better with this one.)

For whatever it's worth, I also think there's a slight possibility that desk rotation is a placeholder song. It's a complete instrumental (all other songs have at least SOME lyrics), so it wouldn't be too insane to me if they had a song that they decided was just too spoiler-y to be released to the public. In that case, I think it's possible desk rotation will one day be replaced with a different song. Realistically, though, it's probably just here and we have to figure out what the hell it means.

Good Grief by Bastille: Whit Young

Whit obviously lost his mother at some point, who he clearly idolizes. You can see the glowing way he talks about her in the laundry room with Teruko and Charles, and his secret quote is literally "We tend to idolize the dead." He loves his mother, but given his secret, it's clear that she is dead.

This song is about grief. Whit represses a lot of his emotions, so I expect he hasn't yet felt his grief in full and hasn't processed it. He has, however, made it very clear that he struggles with loneliness, and that has a lot to do with his loss. I think that, over the course of the story, he's going to have to actually process grief and experience sadness. While it's possible that'll just be due to the feelings he has surrounding his mother, given that he's in a killing game, I think that he'll have to confront personal loss again to have this arc.

Regrettably, I think that that'll probably come in the form of Charles dying, likely as a Chapter 3 victim. Others have theorized on that, but suffice it to say that, narratively and based on hints they've dropped, I think it's probably true ( :( ). Whit, as he clearly cares about Charles, would then be confronted with grief again. He'd have to endure it and learn to deal with the loss.

On the plus side, I'd expect he'd be likely to survive afterwards.

[pasteloctoz]

Redacted what ifs- Hero AU shitposting

might bring this series back i still need to write up mafia solaire clan.

They have the same powers as they do in the base universe, and unempowered people barely know about empowered people apart from heroes and villains, and D.U.M.P. is a corrupt government that controls people from reaching their true magical potential or whatever.

● DAMN Crew

-Vigilante Freelancer

Feel like Freelancer would initially be some kinda low level villainbc of how they were brought up, but then they meet Caelum and try to do more good than bad.

-Goofy Sidekick Caelum (i miss him so much)

Caelum would be Freelancer's gauge between good and bad. They'd probably become dependent on him at some point because they don't want to loose their temper.

-Hero Gavin

Gavin and FL have a complicated relationship initially and then find out abt eachothers identities and fall in love.

Also Gavin is probably the furthest thing from a hero he's just chillin with the lifestyle mandated by the corrupt government tbh.

Like he knows the government is bad but nothing compares to his life on Aria (forgot how to spell it)

-Support hero Lasko

Lasko is a support hero because of his relationship with Gavin.

-Civilian Damien

-Civilian Huxley

Lasko, Damien, and Hux are less involved in hero life bc they don't know about Caelum. Not to mention I like the idea of people who don't know about someone's trauma helping the person through it.

-Villain Vega

Hes more of a Vigilante but specifically for demon kind (i think ive barely listened to his audios) but in general hes a villain from FL's POV (cus he hurt caelum)

-Hero & Rival Kody

He's not enough of a bad guy to be a villain but he is enough of a parasite to frequent cameos in FL's routine.

● Shaw Pack

-Freelance Hero David

He takes jobs for money, and is indifferent to politics unless it effects his pack.

-Civilian Angel

Genuinely thought Davey was a normal guy (except for the moodyness n shifting). When they find out its about a year into the relationship and Angel isn't having any of that shit. Of course David told them about him being a shifter after a while but not THIS. Safe to say they'd be angry for a while.

-Civilian Asher

He's Davey's chairman, just cannot realistically be a full time hero because its too boring for him. Though he will help David any chance he gets.

Also probably the quipiest mother fucker ever-

-Civilian Baabe

They'd find out about Asher and Davey waaay before Angel and probably keep the secret too. Angel would be real hurt but heal a lot faster with Baabe.

-Hero Sweetheart

-Anti-Hero Milo

He definitely has SH realize the realities of government shit or whatever

Also Davey and Asher know about Milo being an Anti-Hero they just don't give a shit 😭

(I've lost all knowledge of what the fuck is going on with the vamps so im not caught up)

● Solaire Clan

-Support hero Sam

-Vigilante Darlin'

They're kinda on the run after getting a bit too violent with a villain. Then found out that the government is protecting certain villains because of the money they get if they do.

-Villain Quinn

Yes, the villain darlin' got too violent with is Quinn, who tf else would it be?

-Civilian Lovely

They'd still be a civilian after finding out they have magic, despite the government pushing them to be a hero. Although, they'd probably help a lot more after turning.

Another thing- the letters from the government asking lovely to be a hero would stop after their turning. They'd probably be even more angry when realizing that than when the government harassed them. Probably resulting in a breakdown and them thinking theyre worthless now.

-Hero Figure head Vincent

I don't think Vinnie would get too much into action unless absolutely needed.

-Hero Adam

Adam would've been a hero but gave into his cravings when lovely came around looking for vincent. But he wouldve been pushing his hero reputation a lot, if anyone knew of him before he died for good, they would've said hes a terrible hero.

-Hero Alexis

I dont think i need to say more, she'd still be on thin ice after sam's turning, though.

[blindmagdalena]

Hi, Amy! How are you?

You know, I've been having a lot of thoughts about Homelander's relationship with both Ashley and the rest of the Seven, and wanted to share them, if that's okay :)

Although at first glance it really seems that Homelander just hates his team, I think that it's a bit more complicated than that.

Sure he likes to bully them, intimidate them and generally just play mind games with the team. He's a sadist for sure. However, I also think that he rationalizes his mistreatment of them as "toughening them up".

I've had a lot of teachers (and one terrible boss) who had this mentallity. They use the people bellow them as pounching bags, an outlet for their own frustrations because they know they won't face any repercussions, but they don't see it as an abuse of power. They think that this mistreatment helps to build character and it's necessary.

In a way, they think "they are doing us a favor", and in my mind that's exactly how Homelander sees his relationship with the Seven. "Oh, they re weak and pathetic and so bellow me, but it's okay, I'll make them better" basically.

It's also a form of revenge, because Homelander went through abuse as well while he was in the lab. So, now he believes that pain and humiliation is something everyone should go through because it will make them stronger. This helps him justify his own suffering too. Because if pain isn't necessary to become better, why did he have to go through that?

I think (weirdly enough) that this is particularly true when it comes to his relationship with women.

In his mind, Alex's death was not just a way to intimidate Starlight. It was a loss she needed to experience to "understand the situation she was in". That's why during the interview he held her hand and even said that he missed her, acting like everything was fine between them. Because what he did was for Starlight's benefit so she doesn't have a right to hate him for it.

His issues distinguishing reality from fiction (as in marketing and PR stunts, branding, etc) also played a role in that, but that's beside the point.

AND ASHLEY!!?? I have so many thoughts about how he actually is, deep down, VERY fond of Ashley but feels the need to terrorize her bc she won't be a useful paw if he goes soft on her. Even if she's just using her, you don't hang over the most sucessful company of the world to someone you hate.

Yes, everything he does is horrible and ill-intended, but he doesn't realize it!

He thinks he can hurt people and still have an emotional connection to them, because abuse is just an intrinsical part of any relationship. That's what Jonah Vogelbaum and Vought taught him, and that's why he's always so dumbfounded when people turn on him.

(Poor thing, he really needs to be commited at this point 😩).

aahh wow, so many good points! i agree that Homelander absolutely ascribes to 'tough love,' like pushing Ryan off the roof. that is undoubtedly exactly how he was taught to fly, too. you've nailed his warped perspective on how he goes about teaching people lessons.

though a good deal of his bullying, especially in regards to A-Train and Deep, seems like him lashing out against them for not being his dream team. he's at his worst with them when he feels small and insecure. he treats them as extensions of himself and his image, and when they fail to live up to that, it infuriates him.

i don't know if i entirely agree with the latent fondness beneath his bullying of Ashley: if he is fond of her, i don't think he's aware of it at all. to me, it seems much more like she's his designated adult. a frazzled babysitter. someone he has terrified into being loyal and responsible for all the company related nuances he doesn't understand. it makes so much sense to me when you take into account what Starr said about Homelander having the emotional intelligence of a 14-year-old. she's his stand-in for Stan Edgar.

he's pretty openly doting when he has fondness for someone. Black Noir is a very good example of this.

that said, fondness is different from attachment. i do think he's both attached to and reliant on every member of his team. a teenager who lashes out at their friends and family is still very much reliant on those same people.

i like what you said about him viewing abuse as an intrinsic part of relationships, and something that shouldn't cause people to turn on him. it's fucked up and tragic, and his perspective definitely IS very skewed, but he shows us several times that he's actually pretty soft when it comes to his loved ones.

when Ryan has a panic attack, he doesn't scold him or tell him to get over it. he removes him from the situation, gives him space, and then empathizes with him. obviously he's much softer with his son bc he's actively looking to change the way he was raised through his son.

ultimately to me, Homelander's sadism doesn't come across as quite as meticulous or well thought out as he'd like people to believe. he's a wounded, frustrated child taking out his pain on those around him. he uses fear and torment to get his way because that's what was done to him, and yet he expects them to have the same weird reverence for him that he had for Vogelbaum.

[jiminjeonging]

i feel like jimin is a very insecure person. she knows she’s pretty when she’s on stage and dolled up and she knows the whole nation is obsessed with her looks. but I think that’s taken a toll on her because she’s always afraid to show her bare face. going as for as covering it when she arrived to the airport and asking for a mask just feels really sad tbh. also that live where she was waiting for ningning to wake up, she had some really light makeup and kept going “do I look okay? i didn’t want to go live with this face” and i think she’s starting to rely on makeup a lot to feel pretty. like she doesn’t feel comfortable without it if that makes sense, even though she looks amazing either way.

i think she’s really confident in her body and loves to show it but sometimes may resent it because of how people treat her. she might have a love hate relationship with herself and I think minjeong would’ve been there to support her. jimin saying she’s not pretty without makeup and minjeong going EXCUSE ME???? like minjeong hasn’t always been that good at showing affection but i think she’s made it a habit to always compliment jimin and remind her of how beautiful she is

i agree with you!! i've been thinking about something like this ever since she said 'i want to make an asmr channel without showing my face i think i will have about 4 subs mom dad sister grandma' or her always asking on fancalls why do fans like her. she wants to be appreciated more for her talents, humor and such rather than ppl always looking at her like a piece of meat. she started to be more insecure about her bare face too these days since now so many ppl are watching her and she thinks if shes less than perfect she would be criticized(this is true tho unfortunately just remember how everyone was on her ass for watching mha). like i dont think mj was being gatekeepy when she posted about their brunch but rather was respecting jm's whishes since she was bare faced and didn't want to be seen like that. thats why she started to care much more about what fans think too. especially after 0227 even though i think it was fake, jm saw how some fans are ready drop her, she saw 3 trucks infront of her workplace and shes now terrified that they will leave. she wants to please every single one of her fans so bad.

i also think shes confident in her own skin but theres a difference between an outfit she choose for going out and wearing something someone else picked out for you infront of thousands. she was so ucomfy in both musinsa event and yesterday. jm isn't naive too, she knows what ppl think when they see her like that and she doesn't want to be perceived like that. i think jm is in such a sticky situation because she wants to be free so bad but doesn't want to lose everything she worked for, she loves her job but she hates that she just cant sing and dance and be done with it, she is under a lot of pressure while ppl around her and mj wants to help, always compliment her, this is an idea exist in her head and thats very hard to fix when she was born into this society on top of all that. i just hope this doesn't affect her mentally in long term and she learns to let go. i dont think she cares much about people that hates her but she cares a lot about her fans which can suck sometimes since they can be her biggest haters too and wants to be perceived as a good person in general publics eyes. being good with the gp is a concern she has since debut too bcs of bullying accusations and thats why she will always hide a part of herself infront of cameras. even though shes such a genuine person we will never know for sure how shes really like irl. i think thats why some ppl get surprised about the stuff members say about her like her being a slytherin or the idea of her getting angry easily. we are only seeing a part of her shes letting us to see which obviously comes from a lot of insecurities and ofc she has every right to not want every part of her life to be exploited. also she doesn't want to seem like she cares so much about trivial things, wants to seem strong and carefree.

in short i think she resents the fact shes being exploited but she thinks thats an obligation she has to endure to keep the job she loves and being perceived like that makes her insecure and drives her to be want to be perfect all the time. this is true for most idols ofc but since jm is at top right now she feels that more than anyone.

[winterchimez]

your moots as flowers? :3

omg hi anon!! this is such a fun ask/game & i'll try my best as i look through the list of flowers on google asdkjadnk

@sungbeam - sunflower (adoration & loyalty) im sure everyone thinks the same way abt you but you're literally a CELEBRITY, the best 妹妹 ever on this earth and where are my photographers at we planning a red carpet for you rn 😤 (btw it just so happens that sunflowers = changmin so 😙)

@from-izzy - forget-me-not (true love & memories) if the meaning doesn't speak for itself enough then idk what will. forever my soulmate till the end 💜 (also now its my turn to get mad at you for *coughs* 😄)

@justalildumpling - roses (love, passion, beauty) if you ain't the hottest and prettiest writer out there then idk who is my bestest dongsaeng ilysm 🫶🏻

@ethereal-engene - gerbera daisy (cheerful & innocence) you're literally a ray of sunshine you make me laugh a lot (esp with the challenge that you have been taunting me for months now 🌚

@daisyvisions - daffodil (new beginnings & rebirth) with what you have told us in our gc abt your irl stuff i think this suits you best!! also cs you're our unnie & i somewhat think yellow suits you a lot 💛

@aimeecarreros - chrysanthemum (friendship, joy, honesty) literally one of the funniest people ive ever met, never change. waiting for the day we meet in person to scream at the top of our lungs out AMEN 😘

@snowflakewhispers - freesia (friendship, trust) you know too much about me & my sister from my neighbouring country. here's to more bickering & saving each other asses whenever & always 😙🩷

@drunkdrazed - aster (patience & elegance) you're literally the sweetest person i know & you're always treating everyone around you with so much love & patience i don't deserve you 🥹🫶🏻💗

@h0mebody-heaven orchid (beauty & strength) literally one of the toughest ppl i know!! im so so glad we hit off right away & heres to us praying that we take over as wayv managers in the future AMEN 😤

@kyaroscuro - lavender (calm, serenity, devotion) another sweetest person ever like where are yall coming from 🥹 glad we hit off almost right away (i think it was bcs of my hyunjae series if im not wrong jasnkand) here's to more convos & stories abt both of our new adventures irl!! 💪

@stealanity - hibiscus (delicate beauty) matty unnie isn't just beautiful on the outside but on the inside too!! literally such a reliable older sister that i've met here and i know that i can always count on you no matter what. i miss you a lot & i always wish you all the best in everything you do unnie 🥺🫶🏻 @quaissants pansy (love & affection) my OG gremlin i love you loads (even though you torture me with daddy sangyeon pics every single time we try to start a conversation but know that i always got your back no matter what ❤️

@sanaxo-o crocus (cheerfulness) you're 1/2 of my gremlin and you're literally so unhinged (like sometimes i honestly dk what goes on in that head of yours kasdnaksjdk) but i think it's only bcs we're this close that we could literally talk abt anything (even if sometimes they made absolutely no sense but it's always fun talking to you, and i miss you a lot my sabrina wifey 🧡)

@cloverdaisies gladiolus (strength of character) the OG toughest person i know. forever clo my love, and i promise you that our frienship is def gonna last for decades, and i will get my ass to EU again one day so JUST YOU WAIT 💚

@kimsohn sorrel (love, healing, protection) my maya 🫶🏻 i would literally drop everything for you and protect you at all cost 😤 i treasure you sm and know that im always here for you no matter what 🩵

@gluion camellia / tsubaki (strength & bravery) honestly i feel like moni can do literally ANYTHING like they're so frickin talented in everything they do and i admire them loads 🥹❤️

@mosviqu goldenrod (encouragement & growth) bar is literally the sweetest like you're always keeping so many of us in check 🥹 coming to ask how we have been doing, and just the best at giving ppl words of encouragement which lowkey makes me forget that you're younger than me sometimes kankajsn

@juyeonszn zinnia (thoughts of friends) it's been a while since we last catched up, but im sure you're out there busy doing everything you can to survive!! im always rooting for you and i wish you nothing but the best in everything you do!! miss you loads my bubba 🤍

@itsbeeble ivy (affection, friendship, fidelity) my pookie 🥰 we're always hyping each other up, and you have no idea how honoured i am to be your moot like i was one of your biggest fans / reader before (and i still am!!!) i love you so bad 😔💚

@strayed-quokka salvia (wisdom) my other daddy sangyeon half (even though you refuse to share 90% of the time 😒) literally if talent was a person it's definitely lennon. again, someone that i really look up to and so glad we became mutuals 💛

[frogsare-friends]

i've said it so many times before. but i'll say it again. conrad was fucking evil in the car scene. and if jere had done that he'd be murdered. i just don't get how anyone can see that as him being hot or funny. i can admit petty conrad is alright "sounds like an aunt julia problem" "i'm sorry my grandpa didn't love you as much as he loved my mom but i'm not surprised (idk the exact quote)" and i like julia. it has nothing to do with being team conrad or team jeremiah. he's legit just a fucking dick.

he's a dick to belly obviously, but i'm specifically talking abt jeremiah here bc belly is an afterthought. he didn't wanna yell at her, he already did that. he wanted to make jeremiah feel worthless, and like he didn't deserve to be chosen. and he did. "jeremiah just too insecure, he can't believe belly chose him" BC CONRAD WAS MAKING HIM FEEL THAT WAY. "but... finch is fun" knowing that that's a huge insecurity for jere wasn't funny and it wasn't just petty. it was genuinely horrible for him to say. he wanted jeremiah to know that everyone else thought conrad was better, and conrad knows (thinks) he's better. he wants to remind jeremiah that belly loved the idea of amazing, smart, strong, emotional, mysterious conrad, and (even though this isn't true, it's jeremiah's insecurities bc of adam and susannah and the fact everyone fucking worships conrad) he's not amazing and smart and strong and emotional and mysterious. "i remember last year it was seven" bc he wants to tell jeremiah that he wasn't serious about those people so how can he be serious about belly. he wants him to think that belly doesn't want something serious with him bc she knows his history and knows he hasn't been in serious relationships before her. "who's the better kisser" (which, bffr you do not want the answer to that question conrad) bc he wants jeremiah to know that he's better than him. in all the ways that matter and don't, he wants him to know he's better and belly knows it too. and obviously those things aren't true. conrad doesn't even think these things. he's literally just a manipulative dick. like i don't think he's terrible or unredeemable, but he is manipulative. he always pulls out insecurities or stuff he knows will hurt the other person in fights. in this one it hurt bc jeremiah thought all of that was true and that conrad really thought that. in the party fight it hurt bc even though jeremiah knew it wasn't true, he knew conrad wanted to hurt him. someone that he has had to pick up the pieces after his entire life, someone he looks up to and most of all cares about, wants to hurt him. that's fucked.

anyway, lots of words to say fuck conrad for the car scene, it's so much deeper than some petty stuff. also, conrad is a shitty brother. i don't care. he is. the fisher family dynamic is that adam fucks it all up. susannah refuses to acknowledge that things are fucked up. conrad carries the burden of it being fucked up. jeremiah has to cheer everyone up, pick up the pieces when conrad drops them (which isn't his fault he shouldn't be carrying that burden but just bc it's not his fault doesn't mean it can't hurt jeremiah) and glue them back together, put on a happy face, and deal with everyone neglecting him. let's not pretend conrad has excuses jeremiah doesn't. "conrad had to carry this burden" and jeremiah had to do fucking everything else.

[elizmanderson]

queerness in The Remarkable Retirement of Edna Fisher

book description

when you’re an old woman armed with nothing but gumption and knitting needles, stopping a sorcerer from wiping out an entire dragon-fighting organization is a tall order. no one understands why 83-year-old Edna Fisher is the Chosen One, destined to save the Knights from a dragon-riding sorcerer bent on their destruction. after all, Edna has never handled a magical weapon, faced down a dragon, or cast a spell. and everyone knows the Council of Wizards always chooses a teenager—like the vengeful girl ready to snatch Edna’s destiny from under her nose.

still, Edna leaps at the chance to leave the nursing home. with a son long dead in the Knights’ service, she’s determined to save dragon-fighters like him & ensure other mothers don’t suffer the same loss she did. but as Edna learns about the abuse in the ranks & the sorcerer’s history, she questions if it’s really the sorcerer that needs stopping—or the Knights she’s trying to save.

find it here

okay let's talk about queerness in this book

did a thread on twitter in which I said "cishet" five hundred thousand times so will probably get banned lmao but anyway I wanted to share it here too

especially since it's late in Pride Month and I have yet to post anything anywhere about it BEING Pride Month and me being queer and my books being queer, bc I've been burnt out af. so what energy I've had has gone toward planning and writing

anyway

I say "queerness in" rather than "queer characters in" because I want to talk about queerness in the book more broadly, not least bc I'm a queer creator & this is a queer book, but I've had a lot of impostor syndrome about both those things.

I figured out I was queer later in life & am a woman-presenting person w/a male-presenting partner. I've questioned my gender & sexuality repeatedly & ID'd differently over time, which is why I like "queer." I don't have to re-explain myself a dozen times. I'm queer. that's that.

but having figured out my queerness later, and having a relationship that presents as cishet, it took a long time for me to overcome feelings of ~not being queer enough~ (and sometimes I still struggle with them).

similarly, my MC is an apparently* cishet woman, unlike the MCs of many books that appear on queer book lists at this time of year. just like I took a long time to start really engaging with my community bc I worried I wasn't ~queer enough,~ for a long time, I didn't call this a queer book bc I worried it wasn't ~queer enough~. if people asked if the book was queer, I'd reply with a laundry list of explicitly queer characters rather than saying yes

fuck that though lmao. this is a queer book. let me count the ways

1. found family

as found family is so important to many queer people - by connecting us to our community, by welcoming us when bio family casts us off - found family is central to REMARKABLE RETIREMENT. while there are queer romantic arcs, the found family is the most important relationship in the book.

2. queer labels

some characters get explicit labels. Benjamin is gay. Clem is ace. queer labels are important bc they give us the ability to describe our identities and experiences! however...

3. undefined queerness

while labels are important, queerness isn't about fitting into new boxes. it's about smashing the boxes apart.

even if characters don't have specific labels applied on-page, they're queer. they don't need to claim a specific label for that to be true.*

*caveat that some media avoids using labels to pander to queer audiences w/implied queerness without ~alienating~ cishets by stating "this character is Not Cishet"**

that's not what I mean

I mean e.g. in OFMD queerness is inherent even if WORDS like queer/ace/etc aren't used. OMitB is another example (specifically Mabel) and Good Omens is yet another.

**caveat to my caveat that some media is queer-coded & avoids queer labels rather than being explicitly queer because network execs or whoever won't allow explicit queerness.

this is not the fault of the creators. sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.

but anyway.

in REMARKABLE RETIREMENT, several queer characters are queer without using specific labels.

in some cases this is bc it doesn't come up or isn't important to them to express in the moment. like Clem is bi, but she's not worried about being bi. she's worried about being ace, because she's still kind of questioning that about herself, and she's worried it might cause problems down the road if her crush is >:[ about her not wanting to have sex. so she uses the word "ace" to describe herself in this scene but not "bi," even though she's both.

in other cases it's bc they don't have the language. Kiernan's sense of attraction and desire is described in a way that seems graysexual or demisexual (or both), and Red's sense of desire is described in a way that seems ace-spec, but neither of them use those terms, because neither of them know those terms. despite the lack of terminology, many ace readers have identified multiple ace characters based on description or experience. the lack of a specific label doesn't make those characters less queer.

similarly, some characters have not yet had this realization about themselves. which leads us to...

4. questioning

okay, back to my first asterisk of the post.

Edna is by all appearances an old cishet woman.

for most of the story, that's how she seems. that's what SHE thinks, even. she's a cishet old grandma adopting every queer young person she can find.

BUT THEN

Clem explains aceness to her

and Edna has a brief crisis bc wait a minute this sounds like her??

ultimately, Edna has too much to worry about right now to spend time questioning whether, at the age of 83, she might be somewhere on the ace spectrum

so it doesn't come up again

but that moment of crisis is THERE, & that too is queer

5. queernormativity*

I write queernorm worlds, largely bc I viscerally hate coming out lmao

it doesn't mean everyone's a queer scholar

like Clem has to explain "ace" to Edna, bc Edna thinks blankly of a deck of cards & doesn't understand what that has to do with sex

but it DOES mean queer folks get to just be and do

*caveat that this is not remotely to imply that a story is less queer if its world ISN'T queernorm

it's just a way in which MY story is queer

6. all the queer characters

not gonna do a list (even though my original idea for Pride Month when I was young and optimistic and thought I'd have energy to do it way back when was a list of queer characters), but virtually every character in this book is queer in one way or another

on twitter this is where I ended because 6 seemed like a good number for Pride since June is the sixth month, but tumblr gets a bonus

7. the author is queer

happy pride, buy my queer book