#bc especially with the content that goes out it gets hard to tell who's genuinely just wanting to share and who might be trying to just
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probably a take that a LOT of people are going to be angry about but I'm gonna preface with: I'm speaking on a general trend I've seen in online spaces, and my thoughts on it are not a direct callout to anyone nor an inherent indicator of if someone's DID is "real" or "fake."
but like. the way that some people will use public spaces to "chat intra-system" is so wild and even at times uncomfortable as fuck, if nothing else it's pretty wildly unsafe because like you have NO IDEA who's reading what you're writing out. Having a private discord server or a journal or a notes app or something is a much safer way to facilitate that kind of thing.
that and lowkey..... sometimes ppl doing it in public or actively sharing screenshots of it on tumblr like it's some "the group chat going wild tonight" type content just feels. So much like roleplay. It skeeves me out a bit. I know in my heart that generally using a space to try and communicate with other parts of the system is a healthy coping mechanism that a lot of therapists recommend but so many times that I see that posted it feels like that meaning and healing has been lost and in some cases borders on roleplaying or content farming and it makes me so uncomfortable
#like you don't have to and SHOULDNT be posting every little thing all the time to the internet especially when it comes to within-the-system#making your coping mechanisms into public displays is so bad for mental health#and I would know because I used to do that so often when I was younger and it fucked me up so bad#and again this isn't some callout or vagueposting abt anyone in particular just the trend of this happening feels yucky to me#bc especially with the content that goes out it gets hard to tell who's genuinely just wanting to share and who might be trying to just#generate content and likes and squeeze out every bit of what the internet will eat tf up#actually dissociative#actually did#did#dissociative#dissociative identity disorder#I'm welcome to discussing this btw but if you're a dick about it or start the infantilizing shit I'm blocking on sight#I'm just so over the ableist garbage over the last two days lol#tpwh
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Homies being homies
Just a silly, quick doodle
Sudden updated lore drop! Still marinating, still under reconstruction. So it's a bit foggy and I'm not sure if many stuff but here, since I got an opportunity â¨
Now that I've rewritten my own version of hpma story to follow my theory about how Daniel will bertray Elliot and will rat out NOTME, here's how it now goes:
Because Elliot suggested Daniel to join him, rather than NOTME in general, I believe Elliot isn't content with how things are in NOTME even though he seemingly holds a higher position there, if the Chinese first anniversary event is anything to judge by.
And with that, the rest of NOTME aren't exactly content of him either, especially the more loyal members and the actual leader. Elliot prefers to do things his way but he needed a partner in crime, which he found in Daniel. He perhaps often visits Hogwarts or Hogsmeade, even after graduation, so he could team up with Daniel when he needed him. So, he becomes less present/active in NOTME, which raises suspicions in the group. Some even suspect that he indeed has a new team or partner now, but without much evidence. One of the members, however, figures he could see if that's the case.
Daniel, on the other hand, agreed solely to get closer to NOTME and gather evidence against them. All of them, to rat every single one of them, this way, proving his mom has nothing to do with the organization. And while he didn't really get as close to NOTME as he wished (as in. not at all) he still managed to collect some evidence, but it wasn't enough, not until he meets at least one other member.
And the member showed up.
This part is bit blurry and needs to marinate but essentially, Daniel gets to meet Morgan (well, more so the other way around) and Daniel is aware that Morgan is part of NOTME, the same way Morgan knows Daniel is Elliot's new partner in crime. But the two, so far, don't rat each other out, Daniel because he wants to collect more evidence on other NOTME members and doesn't want to rat them out one by one but rather in groups/all together (bc if he didn't the group would sorta panic) and Morgan just doesn't see what benefits he could gain by telling other NOTME members about his being Elliot's helper, as he's primarily focused on his own gain in the group, not having much attachment/trust/respect for them.
While starting out tense,on Daniel's part mostly, the two end up, accidentally and surprisingly, striking a bit of a friendship, hanging out with other often until the two got rather close.
Which backfires against Daniel's original plan: rat NOTME out. Because before, he didn't care for any of the members. Now he does. He does care for one of them and he struggles to chose what to do, because he knows he can't just hide Morgan's identity and rat out the rest without him being revealed too at some point, no matter what he does, but neither is he willing to give up his revenge plan against NOTME, it's a lose-lose situation for him, a hard choice he struggles to make.
A part of me also believes Morgan, being a rather sharp individual with pretty good detective skills, has figured out Daniel's intentions and he knows that there's a possibility Daniel might rat him out, betraying him. And he... Doesn't know how to feel about it. On one hand, he doesn't want to go to Azkaban, obviously, especially not with his health. But on the other, he too, cares for Daniel a lot and he knows of the case about his mother, so he knows he's doing it for her and as someone who himself lost his family... He just wishes Daniel luck in reuniting with his mother and making things right, he genuinely wished Daniel happiness. He's just...not yet sure if he's willing to do so at his own expense. And he too, can't make a choice of whenever or not stopping him or letting him rat him out too.
So um. Here's that. Haha đ¤Ş
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random headcanons for these guys because I Keep Thinking About Them kSJSKS
I actually forget who is canonically shorter Gorou or KokomiâŚbut Itto is the tallest obvs, Sara isnât too much shorter than him, then thereâs a bit of a gap in height to reach Gorou and Kokomi (Iâm headcanoning Koko to be the shortestâŚjust bc I can lol) their heights would prob go 6â3â Itto, 5â11â Sara, 5â6â Gorou, and 5â4â Kokomi
Itto is neurodivergent argue with the wall đŞ has a hard time controlling the volume at which he speaks so he talks very loud and animated. Stims by chewing his nails, hair, or his clothing (modern day au if he had a chewy stim necklace he would go through them So Fast and most likely take huge chunks out of them xD)
Kokomi radiants gifted kid burn-out to me, and is autistic! Opposite Itto she tends to speak quietly, can go on tangents if sheâs comfortable with you, and writes/doodles a lot as a way to stim. Her and Itto are ND besties and even tho they arenât dating they look out for each other a lot<3
Gorou lets Kokomi touch his tail before he lets Itto touch it, mostly because he had been pining for Koko longer than Itto. Gorou and Kokomi feel like they would be best friends-to-lovers to meâŚwith Gorou having feelings for her for a long time and willing to literally put his life on the line for her and the rest of her army. Gorouâs love language is def acts of service and he loves protecting people. He desperately wants to make a difference in peopleâs lives, especially those he cares about. He cares and loves deeply, protecc and attacc
At first, Sara sees Gorou as Kokomiâs annoying little guard dog who gets in the way. Later she discoversâprobably lying in bed awake at 2 amâthat she is actually jealous of Gorou and Kokomoâs relationship lol. Due to her reverence of the Shogun she really honed her ability to dislike the resistance and the Sangonomiya family, saying she âhatedâ Kokomi, but the hatred ended up being a way to cover up her true feelings regarding the leader of the resistance. It takes her a while but after a bit she realizes her true feelings, and Kokomi ends up reciprocating!! The same thing kinda happened with Sara and Itto haha except Sara thought Itto was the annoying dog
Whenever Itto got arrested, Sara always ended up being part of the team that had to deal with him, much to her dismay. He would call her pretty and compliment her fighting techniques and ask her out, but she figured he was joking just to mess with her and let him off the hook. Eventually she realizes she likes the teasing and finds out he was actually being genuine haha
Gorou and Sara donât hang out a lot. They learn to accept and tolerate the other through their mutual partners, as well as mutual general background and bow usage, but itâs always a little awkward if theyâre alone in a room together. They might chuckle about Ittoâs latest predicament heâs gotten himself into, or agree on how smart and kind Koko is, but they stay rather quiet and arenât super chatty
Itto once told Sara that he was planning on reaching out to ask out Ms Hina from the Column. He thinks Ms Hina is super cool and kind and he wanted to write in to the paper to see if she would go on a date with him. Sara, knowing full well Hina is Gorou, laughs and tells him that Hina is out of his league, but said she was okay with the prospect. Itto then tells Gorou the same thing, and Gorou gets super flustered and nervous but gives him the greenlight and Itto is stoked bc both his partners are onboard if he goes on a date with Ms Hina!! He believes Ms Hina and Gorou/Sara would really hit it off and really wants to meet her. Lo and behold, however, Ms Hina politely declines his date offer, saying that even tho sheâs sure heâs a kind oni, she isnât looking to date anyone new right now. Itto understands but is understandingly a little bummed, so Sara and Gorou work together to raise his spirits again and make him feel better<3
I wanna make content for them so badly but *clenches fist* that means I have to make it
Iâve been thinking a lot about them lately. Do you see the vision
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omg Iâm so excited youâre on here and taking requests!! do you think you could do something like baby Spence losing his virginity to a close friend & itâs like adorable, goofy, fluffy smut bc he cannot get over the fact that heâs actually having sex with someone
IâVE BEEN WAITIN FOR THIS ONE-- TURN IT UP!!!
on a serious note, i'm so glad you asked for this one bc i really wanna add a scene like this in the fic i'm working on rn. i'm v excited.
summary: when the secret of Spencer's virginity gets accidentally spilled in front of the whole team, reader goes to check on him.
word count: 5.6k
relationship: Fem!Reader/Spencer Reid
content warnings: unprotected penetrative sex, creampie, fluff.
masterlist
hanging out with the team is easily the best part of the week. after spending days in Arizona with our focus entirely on the most recent case, my mind is practically ready to snap. I feel like I've been running on fumes, and when Penelope suggested we take the evening to hit our favorite bar, I was practically already out the door.
so now I'm sandwiched between JJ and Emily as we throw back our first shots of the night. my skin is already flushed with the elation of laughter, the pleasant thrum of conversation that surrounds us.
"that's bitter." JJ makes a face when she slams the empty glass on the table. I screw up my nose.
"why did we pick vodka?" I hate vodka.
"it gets the job done." Emily laughs. I shudder at the aftertaste that sits on my tongue.
Morgan wanders over, Pen on his arm while she totes a brightly colored pink alcohol. they're flirting as usual, but she pauses in her witticisms to grab my arm.
"we're playing truth or shot in that booth over there." she says to me, then gets the attention of the other two women. I let out a disbelieving laugh.
"truth or shot? like truth or dare but without the dare?"
"Reid, is that you?" Morgan says sarcastically. I slug him in the arm with a pout.
"be nice." but I'm giggling. he loops his arm through mine and we head back to the table, Penelope already starting a new conversation with JJ and Prentiss as they follow. Spencer is sitting in the booth with an Arnold Palmer, sipping from the straw like it's his job. I slide into the spot next to him.
"hi, you." I smile. "I haven't seen you at all tonight."
he holds up his glass. "I don't really drink."
"that's fine," I wave it off. "I just meant I wanted to hang out with you."
"oh." he smiles a little. "sorry."
"no big deal. you're here now." I shrug and turn to Pen as she calls my name.
"I'm gonna order a bottle. that okay?" she points to the bar with a mischievous smile. glancing once at Spencer and his slightly awkward position between Morgan and me, I make a snap decision.
"you know what? I think I'll just have a lemonade."
"you sure? Jayge said you spent the whole plane ride back talking about getting wasted--" Penelope's words cause a blush to spread over my face. I cut her off.
"I'm sure. thanks, Penny."
she nods. "of course, sweet cheeks."
I focus back on Reid, who is looking at me gratefully. he would never say it out loud, but I know he feels a little out-of-place sometimes. it's hard enough for him to come out with us to bars; the least I can do is be a sober friend. I open my mouth to start a conversation about an article I read the other day when Prentiss speaks.
"okay, so... who's ready?" her voice, always so certain, carries over the table. all of us make enthusiastic noises of assent, and she grins as Penelope returns with an armful of glasses. Derek gets up to grab the actual alcohol, and then when we're all settled in, the game begins.
"the rules are simple: you tell the truth, or you drink!" the tech analyst explains. the stakes for Spencer and me are lower, but that doesn't really matter. I'm excited to hear the team divulge their secrets.
"I'll start." Prentiss doesn't even hesitate before she looks at Morgan. "Derek, are you still sleeping with that one woman from sex crimes?"
Morgan raises his eyebrows at the question, irises flitting between Emily and the rim of his drink. there's a slight smirk on his face; he knows what a player he is and he's okay with flaunting it.
"Ally? no." he sighs. "things didn't end well between us."
"what? why?" I ask, eyes widening before I look around at everyone. "who is this woman?"
"cool your jets, sparky." Morgan teases me. "only one question per round."
"I'll tell you later." Prentiss raises her drink in my direction and winks.
"uh, no no." Morgan attempts to stop her, but JJ interrupts him.
"speaking of things not ending well," she says loudly. "Pen, why did you and Sam break up?"
"well," Penelope sticks her tongue between her teeth as she thinks it over with a devilish smile. her lips are a ruby red tonight, bright against her pale skin and big eyes. "to be completely honest, he just wasn't... doin' it for me. you know?"
"like--?" Emily glances down at her lap. Pen nods quickly and I snicker. JJ looks awestruck.
"I thought it was going so well."
"it was, but..." Penelope seems to genuinely think this over before she speaks. "if it's right, it just clicks. and it never clicked with Sam."
"profound." I compliment, high-fiving the high-energy blonde. we giggle before she turns to me with a glint in her eye.
"oh, do I have a plan for you," she smirks. "tell me, Y/N: if you had to sleep with one person on our team, who would it be?"
"women included?" I clarify, my cheeks suddenly on fire. how come everyone got easy questions except for me? I'm really just biding time.
"of course." she nudges my shoulder. I mull this over for a minute. I could say the truth, but I don't think that would be the right thing to do. however ironic that is. given the situation, I do something which I have never been good at and which I don't enjoy doing: I lie.
"although all of you are catches," I preface. "I think I would probably pick Emily."
Prentiss almost chokes on her own spit as her head snaps to see my face.
"me?" she asks.
"low-pressure fun." I shrug, the stress of the moment rolling off my shoulders with the ensuing laughter of my team members. Spencer takes a sip of his drink and peeks at me from his spot before I focus my attention to JJ.
we go on like this for a while, our original plan of "truth or drink" really just turning into a game of "truth and drink." as our laughter gets progressively louder, our questions and answers get progressively more provocative. we get into risky territory towards the fourth round, and I can practically feel Spencer's discomfort radiating off of him. thank god everyone has been taking it easier on him with their questions.
that is, until Morgan hits about five shots and decides to throw him to the wolves.
"so, Reid," he asks. there's no malice in his tone and I'm sure he's not meaning to embarrass the boy genius, but the question makes me wince anyways. "have we made any progress on the virginity front?"
it's like a fucking pall over the table. Reid goes rigid in his spot, and JJ's protective eyes dart between him and Morgan. Penelope's jaw drops.
"wait, Reid, you're a--?" her voice is tender, not judgmental, but Spencer's cheeks turn pink and he looks at Derek with a hurt expression.
"not cool." he says, body shifting in my direction. his eyes communicate everything; without a word, I know what he wants. I scoot out of the booth, letting him slip by me to walk outside.
truly, I'm speechless. we all stare at his lanky frame push through the door, but nobody talks until at least fifteen seconds pass.
"what the hell was that, Morgan?" JJ asks.
"I thought everyone knew--" he throws his hands up. "I swear I wouldn't have said anything if--"
"why would everyone know that?" I feel myself get angry for Spencer's sake. "that's an incredibly personal thing, especially to him."
"that wasn't you, my love." Penelope's voice is soft, sobered by the incident that just occurred. the playful air at the table is officially ruined, and we keep glancing at the doorway like Reid will come back in and everything will be fine. he doesn't.
"I'm gonna go apologize." Morgan starts to get up, seemingly beginning to realize the weight of his words. it's one thing to ask about Reid's sex life in general; it's another to point out specifically the entire absence of it. Spencer doesn't seem to be bothered by most things, but this is different. my heart hurts.
we watch Morgan go, the women all looking at each other with worried expressions.
"I feel bad." Penelope says.
"y'know, Spence never told me that." JJ observes.
"he really trusts Morgan." Prentiss says what we're all thinking. Morgan has always been like a big brother to him, and being embarrassed in front of your co-workers like that can't be a pleasant feeling.
we sit in a relative silence for about five minutes until Morgan walks back into the bar. he pulls out his wallet and pays for the drinks, then walks over to us.
"I'm gonna go for a walk. do you need me to call you all cabs?" he asks. those dramatic brows are drawn low over his face, emphasizing his regret. I look between my friends and clear my throat.
"it's okay. I only had one shot about an hour and a half ago. I can drive everyone home."
"okay," Morgan sighs, his head turning briefly to the door before focusing back on us. "drive safe, ladies."
and then he's gone.
"you guys ready?" I start to shrug my jacket on. they all nod and we get ready to go.
...
sitting in my apartment later that night, my head is swimming. even though it's none of my business what happens in Spencer's sex life, I wish I could tell him that it's okay. nobody cares at all if he's a virgin or not. but I know it's still embarrassing.
I hate that I lied earlier tonight, too. I wanted to say Spencer's name when they asked who I wanted, because I meant it. we're close, and I will always love him as a friend. but I've also always wanted more.
nobody, not even any of the other BAU women, know about my crush. I didn't want it to get in the way, or for it to come out and ruin my friendship with Reid. he doesn't like me like that, and that's fine, but what's not fine is not having him as my friend.
he was the first person I really connected with when I came here, and I feel a little protective over him, too.
once the clock hits eleven, I consider calling. heâs definitely not asleep yet. Spencer is a night owl. normally at this time he'd be curled up with a huge book, reading impossibly fast.
when he picks up on the third ring, the air leaves my lungs.
"Y/N?" he asks, more surprised than anything else.
"hey, Spence--" I hesitate, suddenly not sure what to say. sorry Morgan told everyone you're a fucking virgin? âdo you wanna come over?"
maybe if I see him face-to-face, I'll be able to collect my thoughts better. the words hang in the air, festering over the line until I'm just about to take them back, before he replies.
"y-yeah. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."
my hands are shaking at my side when I open the door for the tall genius. he's still wearing his outfit from earlier, hair slicked back like normal. I've settled for my usual sweatpants and t-shirt winning combo. it's not like he cares.
"hey." I smile, trying to read his micro expressions. there are two possible outcomes here, knowing him: either he's going to be totally, completely over it, or he'll be able to write a War-and-Peace-length book on why he's upset.
"hi." he gives a wan smile and I let him into my apartment, closing the door behind him and gesturing to the couch.
"I missed this place." he says absently, looking around at the mess of decor and case files. I snort as I recall the last time he was here. he wanted to borrow a book that I had, and we ended up watching an entire docu-series about homing pigeons. it was surprisingly interesting; mostly because his commentary is both informative and funny.
"it missed you." I anthropomorphize my living space, but the phrase hangs heavy. I'm worried about him. I'm always worried about Spencer. he turns to look at me, opening his mouth to say something. I brush past him and walk into the kitchen. "coffee?"
"sure." he follows me like a lost puppy, leaning against the counter while I pull out two mugs and get to work.
"hey," I pause for a moment to look him in the eyes. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry-- about what happened... tonight."
"oh, that?" he scoffs, waves it off unconvincingly. "it's fine."
I raise my brows the slightest bit, never breaking eye contact. he wouldnât have come if he didnât want to talk about it. he cracks easily.
"it's just embarrassing, you know?" he says, staring out my kitchen window to alleviate his own nerves. I gesture for him to follow me back into the living room and I sit down criss-cross applesauce on the couch. he mirrors me, kicking off those cute black Converse.
"I don't think the fact itself is embarrassing, but I totally get why it feels that way. he shouldn't have said anything." I nod.
"like, that's personal. a-and--" he hesitates a moment, gesticulating wildly now. "and it's not like he's got any right! at least I don't go around with so many girls that I forget their names."
the thought of Reid sleeping with that many women is a little bit funny, but it also makes my stomach twist with jealousy.
"did he apologize?"
"yeah, he did. and he was drunk, I know." he rolls his eyes. "I'm overreacting."
"no, really, you're not." without thinking, I scoot closer to him and place my hand over his, which is sitting on his knee. I remember that Spencer is usually pretty averse to touch, but when I move it back to my lap, he seems a little disappointed. I wonder if he gets lonely.
"is it weird?" the question sounds raw, like he's mustering a lot to hear my response. I shake my head immediately.
"well, for one, Spence, I would never judge anyone based on their sex life, period." I chuckle. "and two, no way! if you aren't into having sex at this point in your life-- or ever-- that's totally your choice and you're entitled to it."
his eyes meet mine, pools of honeyed hazel that swim with a slightly amber shade. his face is so pretty, it's sometimes unbelievable to me that he doesn't get more action. bone structure that would make a sculpture envious.
"that's the thing," he licks his lips nervously before averting his gaze again. "I am interested-- I just don't-- well, I don't--"
"don't have someone to do it with?" I suggest with a slight smile. he nods, then clarifies.
"girls don't really seem to be interested in me."
I let out a laugh, unable to contain myself. his head jerks up to frown in confusion. Iâm quick to amend myself.
"Spence, that's not true at all. you're such a catch! you're sweet and funny and way smarter than anyone I know. not to mention that you're adorable." I compliment, letting some of the thoughts I've been keeping to myself bubble to the surface. "any girl would be beyond lucky to be with you, sexually or not." Spencer blushes at my words, but the squirming in his spot tells me that it makes him feel warm inside. he smiles a little.
"you think?" it's genuine. he appreciates being praised, and it makes my heart flutter when he gives me that expression like I've made his night.
"I know." more of what I want to say rolls around my mind, unsure of whether or not I should admit it. but I think that right now, it'll only serve to make him feel better. "actually, I should tell you something."
"what?" he's curious now.
"when we were at the bar and Penelope asked who I'd be with... on the team... I lied."
"okay." he nods, somehow not connecting the dots. I guess it doesn't matter if they've got enormous IQs; boys are still clueless.
"I was gonna say you." the truth presses from the inside out, lifting a weight off my chest now that it's out there. even if he doesn't return that feeling, I'm suddenly glad that I told him.
"me?" he gestures to his narrow chest. I nod.
"yeah. I didn't wanna make you uncomfortable or embarrass you in front of our friends." I explain. he breaks into a grin.
"thanks." like I've given him something. I feel myself smiling as well, and then we're just looking at each other. tension that neither of us is willing to break. as much as I'd like to take him right here right now, he hasn't said anything about actually having sex or even about being attracted to me. for all I know, he could be completely indifferent.
"listen, Spence--"
"would you be willing to--" we speak at the same time, both of us stopping and laughing awkwardly.
"sorry, you go first." I offer, and he pulls his bottom lip between his teeth.
"would you want to... um..." he scratches the back of his neck before his eyes meet mine. "try it?"
"sex?" I raise my eyebrows. he nods. I try to find the right response. thatâs more assertive than I expected. my pulse is fast, daring me to tell the truth. "I mean-- yes, I would love to-- but are you sure you want it to be with me, Spence? what about a girl that you like?"
"you are a girl that I like." he says this like it's matter-of-fact, like it's obvious. my heart stops in my chest before it starts to hammer.
"really?" a smile makes its way onto my face.
"I thought you knew."
"no." I laugh. my chest is full of sunlight.
"well, you are."
there's a brief silence where I try to get myself back on track. he likes me, too.
"are you sure you want to do this?" I glance at the space between our bodies, which has grown steadily smaller over the course of our conversation. Spencer is watching my every move with an intensity that tells me he's nervous.
"yes." he's unwavering.
"okay, well, you've kissed girls, right?" I inch closer. he nods.
"one."
"oh, Spencer," I sigh contentedly. "I have so much to teach you."
right after I say this, Spencer shifts uncomfortably in his seat. it's only then that I notice his hand covering his lap, the erection that's forming beneath his pants. my eyes flick up to his hungrily.
"sorry." he apologizes.
"don't be." our faces are inches apart and he's practically holding his breath. "I'm gonna kiss you. is that okay?"
"yes." he replies immediately. I place my hands gently on the side of his face, admiring the softness and sharpness of his jaw when I pull him to me, kissing him with a suppressed desire. his mouth is soft against mine, a little anxious to move. after a moment, he starts to relax.
his lips part and I deepen our contact, tilting my head and keeping it mostly mild at first. I don't want to shove my tongue down his throat. our knees are touching and his hand hesitantly finds my waist, the other going to run through my hair. I sigh into him, his fingertips a new sensation that I adore.
Spencer begins to give in a bit more to himself, asserting himself in the kiss and slipping his tongue over my bottom lip. I almost laugh at how quickly he gets the hang of it. he reads my body language effortlessly, not even skipping a beat when I climb into his lap and lace my arms around his neck.
"is this okay?" I pull away momentarily. he nods.
"you're so pretty." an unrelated response, but appreciated nonetheless. I laugh and peck his nose.
"thanks." and then we're back to making out, his hands resting on the small of my back. it's nice. I could stay like this forever, just pressed against Spencer while my fingers thread through his soft hair. he's cautious with me, and it's innocent.
I can feel his boner, can feel from the eagerness of his kisses that he's trying not to bring up the fact that he's literally just throbbing in his pants right now. in order to give him a little of what he wants, I start to rock my hips against his.
Spencer whimpers into my mouth. I stop and look down at him.
"do you want me to stop?"
"no, god, noâ never stop." he's mindless in his reply, already grabbing my hips greedily and trying to regain that friction. I shake my head with a chuckle, then resume my actions. he starts to rut up against me, groaning into our embrace while his hands get more adventurous.
I withdraw, breaking the kiss to straighten up. he doesn't stop the microscopic pushes of his hips. I bite back a smile, enjoying the friction, too.
"do you wanna take my clothes off, Spence?" I ask softly.
"y-yes." he replies, gingerly taking the hem of my top and beginning to lift it over my head. when he places it on the couch beside me, his eyes immediately fall to my bra. slender fingers run up my bare waist, his watch glinting in the candlelight. when he doesn't immediately reach to unclasp my bra, I grab his wrist and guide it to the clasps myself. he moves with a surprising ease, unsnapping the thing and grazing over my skin as he slides the straps down my shoulders. I can tell that heâs shaking a tad, but it doesnât hinder him.
the second that he's discarded the lingerie, he looks up at me with moony eyes.
"can I... kiss you?" he looks at my bare chest. "here?"
"of course, Spence." I nod. he presses his lips to the space between my ribs, drags them up to the valley between my breasts. lingers, then attaches himself to one of my nipples. I sigh, throwing my head back at the way he moves intuitively, sucking and running his tongue over the peak. he squeezes the other breast, plays with the nipple and starts to acquaint himself with the curves of my body.
the whole time, he's straining against my core, rutting helplessly in pleasure. it feels heavenly, with that sweet face of his so devoted to making me feel good, that I nearly stray from the purpose of the experience.
"Spencer..." I breathe. he moans at the sound of his name, then looks up at me from his place sucking on my tits. his teeth graze of my skin and I buck into his lap, causing him to groan appreciatively. my fingers tangle in his soft hair.
"Y/N," he pulls away from my chest, his lips making a soft popping sound. I gaze down at him, a bit lost in the fantasies running through my head. he's a natural. "can we, um-- like, expedite this process a little?"
"expedite the process?â I repeat back to him, giggling at his formality.
"what?" his voice goes up an octave, but he's smiling. "you know what I mean."
"I really do." I lean down, pressing my thumb into his jaw and angling his face up to mine to kiss. while his hands curiously move over my body, I start to push down the waistband of my sweatpants. I break contact just for a moment to peel them off, and he releases a quiet whine. it's cute.
"come back." he says softly, watching as I slide the bottoms down my legs, leaving me in my panties.
"I'm back." I peck his cheek, climb into his lap again. "can we take off your clothes, too?"
"mhmm." he nods. his lips part when my fingers work at the buttons of his shirt, undoing them with a torturous slowness. I can feel his eyes on my face the whole time.
"what?" I chuckle, peeking up at him for a moment before I pull his shirt open and run my palms up his chest, over his shoulders. he nearly shudders at the sheer touch.
"I just can't believe this is actually happening." he smiles in that way of his, like he's suppressing the depth of his emotions, with his brows slightly raised. I take the opportunity to enjoy the sight of him before me, his rapidly rising and falling chest, the smoothness of his skin.
"honestly?" I start to unbutton his pants, and he jerks up into my hand, blushing once he realizes the earnestness of his actions. I smirk encouragingly. "me, neither."
before I pull down his boxers, my eyes flick to his. "is this still okay?"
"Y/N," he groans. "if you don't do something, I'm gonna cum too early." he squeezes his eyes shut for a moment when my hand moves over his clothed erection, like he's holding on. "please."
"sorry." I release him from the confines. it hits his stomach and he waits for my reaction, as if he's afraid that I'll change my mind right now. but I'm definitely not going to. "holy fuck, Spencer."
"what?" he panics slightly, sitting up more. "is it not enough?"
"not enou--" I stutter, almost laugh. "no, it's plenty. I had no idea..."
"oh." he hides the pleased smile on his face, blush spreading over his pretty throat. in the interest of "expediting the process," I wrap my hand around the base of his cock and gently pump him.
Spencer's stomach tenses and he grabs onto the cushion of the couch with a tight fist, sighing.
"mmm..." he doesn't try to word his emotions, but I know. and I like that I'm making him feel this way, sharing this experience. Spencer and I are such close friends, I never thought we'd actually have sex. my assumption was that I'd watch him grow into himself, find a nice girl and treat her like a queen.
but here I am, spitting into my hand before jerking him off to prepare for whatâs next. heâs throbbing, sounds coming from his throat.
"I'm gonna sit on it, okay?" I lean down to whisper in his ear. he touches my waist, my neck, kisses a random spot on my chest in the waves of pleasure that I'm giving him.
"o-okay." he mumbles, waiting for me to actually do it. and there's a moment of tense anticipation between both of us, when I sit up and pull my panties to the side. Spencer watches like I'm the only thing in the world, saving the memory of my body on top of his for later.
I run the head of his cock along my entrance, soaking him in the wetness between my thighs. I didn't realize how turned on I'd already gotten, and he lets out a quiet whine when he feels the evidence of how much I want him.
our eyes lock when I sink down. it's a new feeling for him, and the shape of his member as it stretches my walls causes me to bite my lip to withhold moaning too loudly. he whimpers, neck tensing and fingertips digging into my hips.
"o-oh." he sucks in a breath as I reach the halfway point. he's so big, I have to go slow in order not to overwhelm myself. but it feels good, too. like... unbelievably good. I grip onto his shoulders and my head falls forward into his shoulder.
"Spencer, holy shit." I moan.
"does it feel nice?" he asks, concerned for my own pleasure. I feel my chest flutter at the thoughtfulness of the boy wonder even when he's in the midst of losing his virginity, and I lower myself onto the rest of him.
"mhmm," I rest for a moment. "how do you feel?"
"like--" his breath hitches when I begin to rock back and forth on him. "like I've been missing out."
I can't help the giggle that slips past my lips, but then it quickly turns into a longing moan when he starts to thrust up into me like a helpless thing. Spencer is brilliant, but his brain cells go out the window when he throws his head back and begs me to move more.
I nod, raising and lowering myself until we reach a special pace. it's not fast or slow, just the two of us trying to stay in the moment while we hold on tightly to each other. I can feel the cool metal of his watch when he splays his hand out over my spine, the warmth of his breath while he pants against my shoulder.
he hits my g-spot over and over. my moans are torn from my throat by the burning of my lungs. it's like I can't breathe because I'm so focused on chasing the orgasm building in my stomach. and Spencer... I can tell he's almost finished.
the erratic nature of his jerking body tells me.
"I'm gonna cum..." he moans into my neck. "do- do you want me to pull out?"
"no." I arch my back and throw myself into the friction of our bodies. he stares up at me while I ride him, the merciless grinding of my hips because I just can't help myself. "oh my god, Spencer."
he notices how close I am and, in a surprisingly deft move, slides two fingers over my pussy to find my clit. the ensuing noise from me tells him that he's found it, and he begins to rub in quick circles. it's rough and hard, but that's exactly what I need right now.
"cum for me, Spence." I breathe. his free hand grips onto my thigh and pulls me over him, his own words unintelligible within the sounds of absolute pleasure.
"please." he begs for something I don't know, spills his seed inside of my pussy and holds onto me like I'm an anchor to this world while he peers into the next. the feeling of him spreading through my stomach, along with the reckless movements of his limbs and the way he looks at me while he rides out his orgasm, sends me over the edge.
"oh my fuck!" I collapse, grabbing his shoulders tightly and rolling myself down while he removes his fingers from my body. it's jarring, the intensity, like my normal functions can't respond correctly. all I can process is the tightening of my stomach, the pleasure between my legs, vision going slightly fuzzy at the edges. he moans when my cunt flutters around him, the muscles trying desperately to hold him here with me forever. I take deep breaths and slow down, my forehead dropping again while I start to remember my own name.
neither of us speaks. I think I'm still too in shock about what just happened, but in the best way. he keeps running his hands over my skin, then wraps his arms around my torso so that I'm pulled against his chest. I smile, kissing his ear before I finally break the silence.
"hi."
"hi." he's got a satisfied tone.
"do you need anything? water?" I ask, exhausted but realizing that this is still new for Spencer and it's my job to make sure he's as comfortable as possible. he nuzzles his nose into my clavicle and squeezes me tighter.
"stay here with me." there's a slight edge to his words. he's afraid of me leaving. I snuggle down, perfectly happy to remain. heat radiates from his skin, and I like the way it feels.
"of course."
we linger in each otherâs arms, both of us coming back into the real world and holding on in an attempt to soften the blow. I just had sex with Spencer.
"thank you." he whispers into my hair.
"for what?" the smile on my face is lazy.
"for doing this."
"well, I really wanted to." I laugh. "so, I guess, thank you, too."
"you're quite welcome." his response is cheerful and then we're both laughing, the sound rumbling from his chest. "can we do it again at some point?"
"I would be happy to." I beam. the contented sigh that leaves his lips, followed by a slight sinking of our bodies down the couch in collective exhaustion, fills me with a joy that's quiet but obvious.
âIâll last longer next time, I promise.â he says. I can practically hear the blush in his cheeks.
âyou did amazing, Spence. donât worry about it.â I press a few stray kisses to him.
I'll need to go clean up, soon, but it can wait a few more minutes. this is my favorite place on earth.
#spencer reid#spencer reid smut#virgin spencer#reader x spencer reid#criminal minds#spencer reid one shot#baby spencer reid
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in which harry is the right person at the wrong time.Â
a/n: hi lovelies! here is my christmas fic for @goldenbluesuitâ âs xmas challenge! i chose the song âbaby, itâs cold outsideâ and itâs my FAVORITE xmas song, so iâve included bits and pieces of the song throughout the story! hope you all like it, and happy holidays! pls rb and send feedback bc theyâre very helpful :)Â
WORD COUNT: 9.6k of ex lovers to lovers, teacher!harry x lawstudent!yn filled with slight angst, missing someone dearly, and fluff
WARNINGS: mentions of alcohol consumptionÂ
COME INTO MY INBOX AND LETS TALK ABOUTÂ âBABY, ITâS COLD OUTSIDEâ iâd love to know your thoughts!Â
pls rb to share! <3
17 December 2020
A chilly and snowy night was upon you as you took a shot of hard liquor. The face of disgust appeared on your face as the liquid slowly went down your throat after you hammered the shot of tequila.Â
Normally, you wouldnât pregame when you were going to your friend, Addieâs, house where you would drink some more, but you needed to shake off your nerves that you felt at the moment. You took a deep breath after taking your second shot and you had physically felt yourself starting to relax.Â
Rolling your head to stretch your neck out, you decided it was time to leave since it was nearing seven in the evening. You called yourself an Uber because of the alcohol in your system and you were planning to sleep over Addieâs place since she said she would bring you back in the morning before you had to go to work.Â
You waited for your Uber by the front door while you looked in the mirror, putting your black beanie onto your head. You were bundled up in a black university sweater, a camel color coat over, along with tan lounge pants and a pair of black boots. Once you got a notification that your Uber driver, Jason, was in front of your house, you grabbed your overnight bag and headed out the door.Â
You placed the hood of your sweater over your beanie so you got more warmth since it was quite cold. You were never one for the cold weather, which is unfortunate since you lived in London. You cherished the days where it was sunny and warm; the sun bright and warm as you laid on the grass in complete content.Â
You missed those days. You missed the days where you didnât worry about a singular thing.Â
Looking out the window, on your way to your destination, you watched the snow slightly fall, hitting and building up on the ground while the pedestrians walked through the streets, bundled up in thick layers of clothing. Some people were with others, walking hand in hand or hugging each other through the cold. Even though it was freezing cold outside, there were smiles on their faces because the hold of one another was enough. They could get through the worst snowfall, but if they were in each otherâs arms, it wouldn't matter; they could get through anything.Â
The cold had reminded you that you were missing a pair of strong arms that shouldâve been around you through this season, but you were completely frozenâleft out in the cold to warm yourself up.Â
You sighed and the car stopped in front of Addieâs place. You thanked your driver, wishing him a âHappy Holidaysâ before you got out and buzzed your best friendâs apartment onto the buzzer system; hearing one back, you entered the complex while brushing your shoes onto the floor mat, so you wouldnât slip while going up the stairs.Â
You were grateful the building was warm, and youâre sure Addie would crank up the heat for you since you would always complain how âbloody coldâ it is all the time.Â
Once you opened the door, you were met with your entire friend group who were all lounging around in the living area. They all faced the door once you walked in, seeing who the last friend to arrive. Greetings were sent towards you, Addie and Nic got up from their spots on the couch that theyâre going to lose because behind them, Elijah and Niall were getting up from their spots on the floor to steal it.Â
âHey! There you are! We were all waiting for you,â Addie said, giving you a hug.Â
Nic went in for a hug before she pulled back and looked at you suspiciously. You looked at her confusingly, wondering why she was looking at you the way she was before she said, âDid you party before you came here?â You furrowed your brows until you remembered that she probably smelt the alcohol that you took before you left.Â
âOh, uh, just took a couple of shots before I came here.â The two girls understood quite well, thankfully.Â
âNo worries! Come join,â Addie welcomed you in. The two went back to the living area, only to see that their spots were taken, so they grabbed the two boysâ arms, yanking them out of their seats. You chuckled as you walked to Addieâs room to put all of your belongings.Â
Once you did that, you exited her room the same time the bathroom door opened across her room. The person in front of you was the reason why you were so anxious before you left; why you needed to relax for a bit and mentally prepare yourself before going to Addieâs place.Â
The person in front of you was Harry Styles.Â
The person who had your heart.Â
The person you were deeply in love with still.Â
The person who was your ex boyfriend.Â
âHi,â he said surprisingly, smiling a bit.Â
âHi, Harry,â you replied, inching towards him as he met you halfway. He wrapped his arms around your shoulders as you did the same around his waist, resting your cheek onto his chest. The hug was warm and comforting, like it always was, and you looked forward to these kinds of hugs every time you saw him. But your heart ached every single time.Â
Pulling away, you gave him a small smile before you two walked out of the hallway and to where your friends were. There was laughter between the two girls and guys as Niall was telling them a joke. Nic was the one who saw you and Harry first, and her laughter died down. She looked at you concerningly, giving you those eyes as if they were asking if you were okay, and you nodded your head to reassure her. You and Harry join the group; you sat on the loveseat on one side of the rectangle wooden table, while Harry sat on the floor on the other side.Â
You tried joining in on the conversation and laughter, but you couldnât help but take sneaky glances back to Harry, only to find him getting glances at you as well.Â
It was hard to focus on anything your friends were saying when Harry was in the same room, but you realized it was also difficult when he wasnât in the same room because then you were wondering where he was.Â
It wasnât easy being friends with Harry after the breakup, good friends, especially; and it pained you to actually act normal around him when all you wanted to do was scream, cry, and have him comfort you. But you did your very best to maintain a cool, calm, and collected mood whenever youâre around him, although inside, your heart was racing and everything you said seemed incoherent.Â
You tried your best to avoid him after you two split, and he did as well, but being part of the same friend group just didnât go well with your wishes. You two had to suck it up and be normal around each other.
Being with Harry was possibly the best eight months of your life. To some, itâs not the longest amount of time, but he was one of a kind; you couldnât find anyone out there like him--not like you were looking anyways. It genuinely felt like youâve been together for years, and when you two were celebrating your six month anniversary, your friends had questioned you saying âItâs only been six months?!â
Your relationship with Harry was all things blissful. It was pure happiness and love, and you wouldnât want it with anyone else. You two rarely got into fights, and if you did, it was most likely a petty and annoyed argument that would have you two back in each otherâs arms only twenty minutes after. He was your fresh breath of air that made you laugh and orgasmâŚmultiple times.Â
It was all smiles and laughs until it wasnât.Â
You two had gotten together the second semester of senior year. Meeting at the library because you couldnât reach a book, it didnât take long for you both to get together. You had known him for two weeks until he asked you out on a date where he kissed you for the first time. The dates and kisses continued on for six months until you mutually decided to call it quits.Â
It wasnât an easy decision, but considering that Harry was going to a different school that was in a different country for his masterâs degree in education for the fall semester, and you were also in the midst of your career; interning at a law firm didnât quite clear up your schedule, only making you busier by the hour. There was barely any time for the two of you to spend time with each other with how busy and hectic your lives were, so there would most likely be no calls coming in or distant texts that were sent out to make it seem like the void had disappeared.Â
Like two mature adults, you and Harry called it quits after the summer. He moved away to get his masterâs and you kept yourself busy at the law firm. It wasnât easy--still isnât easy, but it was for the best. The both of you needed to focus on your careers and yourself before you two were ready enough to get back together. Thatâs if Harry wanted to get back together anyways.Â
Of course you wanted to get back together with him, but you didnât know where he stood on that, or if he was even seeing someone. Throughout the two years that he was away, you only saw him during summer and winter breaks, so he could possibly be seeing someone whenever he goes back to school. But now that he had moved back again, your mind was spiraling because now you got to see him more.Â
Finally, you broke out of your trance, once again thinking about Harry, you saw him looking at you. The both of you completely tuned out to the conversation and laughter coming from your friends. You held your wine glass up, Harry doing the same while smirking before you both sipped your drinks, hoping the sweet wine would relax your bodies.Â
Nic was picking out a small paper out of the Santa hat Addie was holding. She took a quick peek at it before, smirking to herself before Addie moved over to you for your turn. As you chose your Secret Santa, you hoped it was a good one. Itâs not like you didnât love your friends, some of them were picky, and by some, you mean Nic.Â
You looked at the piece of paper, smiling before shoving it into your pocket. Addie moved onto Harry who was the last one to choose, and you watched him as he looked at the paper like it was a poker hand. He raised his brows, smirking before he looked up and started to fold the paper. Your eyes looked down at his polished hands, noticing that he still wears the same rings as he did when you first met him. Your favorites were his initial, thinking how incredibly sexy and alluring they looked on him as he walked around confidently. Youâve stolen them multiple times as well, even if they were too big on you, but the thought of walking around with Harryâs name on you just seemed so enticing.Â
Niallâs laughter brought you out of your sensual thoughts about Harryâs hands and you realized you were caught staring, and Harry knew exactly what you were looking at with the amount of times heâs caught you staring and fantasizing about his hands. Plus, you openly told him that you had a thing for his hands.Â
A smug smile was seen from Harry, so you took your attention away from him and towards your friends.Â
âSo, what do we say? $50 limit?â Nic suggested, and Elijah rolled his eyes.
âWhy are you trying to make me broke? You know I have a huge family, like, 15 cousins!â Elijah debates.Â
Nic gasped dramatically. âIâm offended you donât consider us family, Eli!â Elijah playfully rolls his eyes again, turning his head to the side as he smiled into his shoulder, blushing a bit.Â
You chuckled at their playful banter. Youâre a bit surprised they hadnât gotten together yet because ever since you met them, you could practically feel the tension between them. They were just too stubborn to admit that they liked each other.Â
âOkay, how about we make it maximum $30?â Harry pitched in. Your eyes had immediately averted to him, and it was like he captured you just by the sound of his voice. âWe have exactly six days to get our gifts,â he added. Your friend group has always been one for procrastinating. Everyone is so busy these days that it gets harder to plan hangouts where the entire group could go, but you were all family, so if the gatherings were at three in the morning, everyone would be there.Â
The group agreed, telling him that was a solid number. You caught Harryâs eye and he softly smiled at you. Giving him one back, you suddenly felt nervous as he smiled, so you chugged the rest of your wine and walked to the kitchen to open a new bottle to bring to the living area.
The bottle made a loud pop sound, which earned an in sync âWoo!â from the group as it was a tradition you all created whenever a new bottle of wine was being opened. Smiling to yourself, you poured yourself a glass before downing it. As you were doing so, Harry walked into the kitchen with his own glass in his hand.Â
âHogging all the wine, arenât you, Y/N?â He teased to clear the awkward and anxious tension between you two, and luckily, you stifled out a giggle.Â
âYou know me and my wine.â You refilled his empty glass while taking a sip of yours. Once you fill it halfway, he clinked your glasses together before taking a sip. His lips meeting the sweet but bitter taste of red wine that you so wished was your lips. The way he curled his lips into his mouth and licking his lips, tasting the flavor had you daydreaming such sultry things about his lips.Â
You cleared your throat, breaking yourself out of your gaze. âHow are you, H? Howâs work?âÂ
Harryâs cheeks warmed up at the simple nickname. âIâm doing good, yeah. Work is good. The school is great.â This was Harryâs first semester teaching, and he absolutely loved it. He loved being in the classroom setting, interacting and making sure his students understood the material. He wanted to teach elementary kids, but that would require knowing various subjects when he wanted to focus more on ninth grade English.Â
âIâm happy for you,â you confessed. You were happy for him, but you wanted to be happy with him. âI know youâre a great teacher, and your students must love you.â You bumped him with your hip gently.Â
âTheyâre great. A couple of them have this weird crush on me for some reason.âÂ
âI mean how could they not.â You realized you said that out loud, and youâre fully blaming the alcohol and the few glasses of wine that you already had, leaving you with a rosy cheek tint glow. Harry didnât say anything but smug as he continued to sip on his drink. You slipped past him to join your friends, and Harry followed. Addie gave you a knowing look, hoping to communicate with just her eyes as she saw you and Harry walk out of the kitchen together, and you simply nodded, gesturing that you were okay.Â
The rest of the night went by quite fun as the boys helped Addie hang up the rest of her decorations while scoffing and rolling her eyes because they werenât cooperating. You and Nic were sitting on the floor watching and laughed, pouring yourselves more glasses of wine. Your heart skipped a few beats as you watched Harry the entire time, laughing and smiling, and sometimes looking over at you just to get a simple glance at your face to suffice his heart from the heartache of not being able to hold or kiss you.Â
Youâve always liked shopping alone. Shopping with Nic and Addie could be stressful, no matter how much you loved them. You would only go to the shoppes with them if you werenât looking for anything to buy, but since you were Christmas shopping and the stores were getting busier counting down to Christmas day, you had passed on their invitation to shop with them. There was nobody bugging or nagging you, causing you to get distracted; just you, a basketful of snacks, and Christmas music playing through your headphones.Â
You couldnât wait to give your Secret Santa gift because youâve put a lot of thought into it ever since you found out who your receiver was. Youâve been doing Secret Santa with your friends since the third year of college. At first, your friends group was only you, Nic, Addie, and Niallâyouâve known Niall since you were sixteen, and you met the girls your first year of uniâuntil Nic met Elijah during the second semester of junior year, who was quickly accepted, and then you met Harry.Â
Youâve all become a close knit of friends, and each and every single one of you have met other people, but there was nothing like this group. With bonding and connecting so well, all you needed was each other, and you couldnât be more grateful.Â
As you were looking at the collection of whiskey, you felt a body brush passed you, slightly bumping into you as they tried getting through the narrow aisle. You jolted forward a tad bit, making you take a step forward to let the person behind you pass through.Â
âSo sorry,â the familiar voice said. The music playing through your headphones was not even halfway up since you still wanted to be aware of your surroundings, but you could recognize that voice anywhere.Â
Turning around to look at the person behind you, sure enough, it was the one and only.Â
âHarry?â You called out, taking out your headphones. He turned around, and once he saw you, he immediately smiled.Â
âH-Hi. I didnât expect to see you,â he nervously blurted out a false statement. He knew that this was your go to store and you would always drag him there because they always had your favorite snacks in stock.Â
You chuckled. âYeah, I didnât expect to see you here either.â Unlike his statement, yours was true. When you were with him, he would always ask you why you couldnât stop at any of the other shops because this one was on the other side of where you lived. But you simply told him that it was because you would feel like you would be cheating on this store with the others because this was your go-to place, and the employees here were just lovely.Â
âShopping for yourself?â Harry asked.Â
You looked down at your basket. âOh, no. For my Secret Santa. What about you? What are you doing here?âÂ
âI, uh, I was on this side of town and,â he turned around to face the wine section before grabbing a bottle of Pinot Noir. âJust needed to get this,â he said as he held it up.Â
âNight in?âÂ
âHmm, yeah,â he nodded.Â
âWithâŚsomeone, or?â You tried your best to not show your anxiousness when you asked him if he was having a night in with someone thatâs not you.Â
Harryâs eyes widened and he shook his head. âNo, no. Not with anyoneâŚâ Your shoulders relaxed and a small smile appeared on your face. You slightly nodded your head, containing your relief. âYou look great!â He complimented. You were wearing your work attire; a black pencil skirt with a white silk, semi turtleneck long sleeve, and a black coat thrown over. You were also in nude heels, which werenât the best to shop in, but you had forgotten to bring a change of shoes.Â
You blushed. âThank you. I came here straight from work.â Harryâs brows raised. You were always one for a sense of style, so he wasnât surprised that you would look this good going to work.Â
âReally? How is work going, by the way?âÂ
âGood, actually. Iâm still interning at the law firm, so Iâm pretty busy. But overall itâs great! A lot of research, mock cases, and sometimes the interns get to sit and watch in the courtroom. Itâs pretty thrilling,â you said excitedly. Harry smiled, missing how you would explain things so eagerly. âThis is my last year interning, so hopefully I could work at the law firm Iâm already interning at, and become a permanent lawyer there.âÂ
âIâm sure theyâd love to have you there. Youâre great, really. Theyâd be stupid to let you goâŚâ he trailed off. There was a double meaning to his words, and you were wondering if Harry thought he was dumb enough to let you go. Not wanting to dwell on his words any longer, you murmured a soft âThanksâ to him and smiled. Harry nodded, mentally beating himself up over his words and how he was really the stupid one to let you go.Â
âI, uh, should go, or my sister will be suspicious,â you chuckled. âI hope you have a great night, Harry.â You grabbed a bottle of whiskey before walking passed him. You werenât even done shopping, but you couldnât be in the same room as him without thinking of the memories that had always lingered, making you nostalgic and sad because you donât know if you would be able to make more memories with him.Â
Harry was left alone in the aisle as he watched you walk over to the register to pay for your items. Just when you were done, you looked up, giving him a soft smile and waving at him before you turned around and walked out of the store. Harryâs heart fluttered, but at the same time, it was pounding through his chest. He mentally cursed himself for being so nervous around you, making an awkward tension fill the air. He couldnât tell you what you were really doing at your store--no, he couldnât.Â
Because what would you say if he told you that heâs been going to your store ever since you two broke up and whenever heâs in town just because it reminded him of you. The four walls somewhat mended his broken heart as he felt comfort inside of the shop because some of his best memories of you are in this very store. And since he couldnât step into your apartment to immediately feel at home, your favorite store would have to doâŚfor now.Â
Right when you entered Addieâs home, you were met with the loud music of the holiday season, along with Addie, Nic, and Elijah singing the lyrics to one another as they jumped and danced with a glass of their preferred alcohol in their hand.Â
They hadnât heard the door open since the music was quite loud, so you took the opportunity to take a quick video of them as you smiled at your lovely friends, who felt so careless at the moment. Once the song ended, you put your phone away, and Eli was the one who spotted you first.Â
âAh, there she is!â He walked over to you, giving you a big hug. You giggled as he slightly picked you up from the ground and twirling you. You were sure that he was already buzzed, and you were wondering how many glasses heâs had already, or if he pregamed by himself to calm himself down for talking to Nic, just like you had done to prepare you for a night with Harry, which you hadnât done tonight.Â
There was a part of you that wanted to take a shot or two to ease your nerves, but you realized that you needed to stop doing that because as far as you know, you and Harry are most likely going to be friends for a long time. So, drinking almost every week did not sound fun to you.Â
Nic poured you a glass of wine, clinking your glasses together as you took your first sip of alcohol that night. You helped Addie set up the food onto the table along with some Christmas designed plates and utensils. Just as you were counting the utensils, you heard a loud Santa laugh coming from Niall, making everyone turn their heads towards the door. Niall walked in, carrying a bag-full of presents and Harry followed with a three foil wrapped aluminum trays in his hands as he chuckled at Niallâs way of making himself known. Your face immediately heated up at the sight of your ex-boyfriend because he looked good.Â
Although you loved every version of Harry, there was something about Harry Styles in the snowy winter that made your knees weak. He was bundled up in a sweater with a coat tossed over, and he wore boots. His hair was slightly messy from the wind as he shook off the snow that had fallen onto his locks. His nose was always red too, and when he would press a kiss to your cheek, you would feel the icy cold tip of his nose, contrasting to your warm cheeks. And itâs a tragedy that youâve never spent a winter season with him when you were together, only two Christmases after the breakup.Â
Winter Harry was your favorite, and all you wanted to do was snuggle up with him.Â
Niall and Harry made their rounds to greet everyone, and Harry would always make sure you were the last one he greeted, just so he could hold and hug you a little longer.Â
âMerry Christmas Eve, Eve,â you said once he got to you. He smiled and chuckled, wrapping his arms around your shoulders. You laid your head against his chest, taking in his scent and natural warmth, even though he just came from the cold. âWhatâd you bring?â You asked once you pulled away.Â
âI brought the cheesy garlic bread, brussel sprouts, and crab cakes,â he smiled.Â
You gasped. âYour specialty. My mouth is already watering.ââ You clapped your hands in excitement.Â
Harry giggled, leaning against the kitchen countertop. âSure is, and itâs some of your favorite dishes of mine too,â he remembered. You blushed, heart fluttering as he didnât forget your favorite foods.Â
Harry was always a chef of his own; he loved cooking. Learning from Anne, he made it his mission to make his own homemade food after he moved out, and she would always tell him that you could always show your love through food. From there, he learned more about cooking and seemed to love everything about it. Whenever the group has gatherings for special occasions and everyone agrees for a potluck, Harry always made sure to talk to everyone and see what they wanted him to cook.Â
When you two were together, he did the majority of the cooking. There would be times when you wanted to help, but he would simply tell you that you needed to let him do it and relax. That was something you loved about himâhe was always a giver and didnât expect to receive anything back, in more than one way.Â
You and Harry were definitely ones for staying in, and he would always whip up the best food that was filled with so much love and flavor.Â
âOnce you two are done loving over there, weâd like some help over here!â Niall called out from the dining area. Your eyes widened as Harryâs cheeks turned pink. Harry held his arm out, gesturing you to go first, and you walked out of the kitchen as he followed behind you.
The groupâs attention and eyes were on you and Harry, and your brows furrowed as you mouthed a âWhat?â at them, and they instantly went back to setting up the food as if nothing happened. You turned around to look at Harry confusingly and he shrugged his shoulders, just as confused.Â
The music was playing, the decorations were lit up, and the food was settling into everyoneâs stomach, followed by drinks as a warm feeling laid over everyone. It was overall a great time with them as it always was, and since Christmas was coming up in just two days, the merry feeling was always everyoneâs moods.Â
As everyone was laughing and having a great time, Addie had gotten a knock from her neighbor, asking if everyone could keep the volume down. Everyone was holding in their laugh because you all hadnât realized how loud youâve gotten.Â
âIâm pretty sure they knew it was going to be a long night when it was just the three of them dancing and screaming,â you pointed out to Addie, Nic, and Elijah, and they all laughed, agreeing.Â
âWait, what?â Niall asked confusingly.Â
âRight when I walked in, they were screaming at the top of their lungs. Wait, I have a video.â You pulled your phone out of the front pocket of your sweater and showed Niall the twenty second video.Â
He cackled. âHey, thanks for waiting for us,â he teased, giving your phone back to you.Â
You leaned back onto Harryâs leg, since you were sitting on the floor and he was sitting on the chair behind you, and you looked up at him to show him the video. He leaned forward, placing his forearms on his thighs as you shifted closer to him so you were sitting in between his legs. Harryâs lips curled into his mouth, and he was grateful that you werenât facing him because he was flustered. You pressed play, and he watched as he chuckled, watching his friends have a good time.
âWait, I also wanted to show you this video,â you mentioned once the video was over. You scrolled through your pictures, and Harry was watching you go through your camera roll. He saw pictures of buildings, food, you and the girls, and some of them were just of you. Before he could really think about your own pictures, you found the video of your family dog and showed Harry.Â
As you and Harry were watching the video, your four other friends were eyeing you two and whispering things to each other suspiciously. Nic took a few pictures of the moment because the sight was just so cute, but everyone was wondering when you two were getting back together.Â
And you were wondering the same.Â
For a few minutes, you and Harry were in your own little world as you two talked about your family; never making the effort to change the position you were in--you had just turned your body so you could see him better. Youâve missed times like these where everything else, outside of the bubble you two created, didnât seem to matter. The way his eyes gleamed when he talked to you had lulled you in, making you depart from every thought you were trying to create while the only thought that dawdled was Harry.Â
âAlright, letâs pass out our Secret Santa gifts before weâre all too drunk,â Niall suggested, popping yours and Harryâs bubble. You moved out of between Harryâs legs to sit beside him where you were before. You looked up at him, softly smiling and he gave you one back. His eyes looked like they wanted to say something, and you so badly wanted to crawl into his mind to know what he was thinking.Â
Everyone agreed, getting up to grab their gifts. Addie also grabbed the Santa hat that you had to wear if it was your turn to pass out your gift. The Santa hat had been through four Christamases with the group, and it was the little things that made you happy.
Addie decides to go first since she was the host. She put the Santa hat on before she started. âFirst one! My Secret Santa isâŚElijah!â She walked over to him, giving him her gift as he smiled, thanking her. He opened her gift and gasped as it was a new headset for his PlayStation since he was always talking about how one side was completely dead. Addie placed the hat onto his head as he grabbed his gift.Â
âSo, this one is forâŚâ he smiled before walking over to the other end of the couch. âNic.â Her eyes widened, taking the gift from his hands, and he took a seat next to her on the floor. She ripped open the wrapping paper before she paused, looking back at him. It was a large rectangle frame of pictures of her and Eli with a note in the middle saying â4 years as best friends, countless laughs, and one question unasked. Will you go on a date with me?â Nic squealed, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was like he was proposing to her because she screamed out a loud yes. âLife is too damn short. I canât wait to go another day without calling you my girl, so I wanted to take my chances,â he told her. You smiled at them, realizing itâs been too long, and you were so happy for them.Â
It was Nicâs turn, which she completely forgot about because she was so overjoyed, and she walked up to Harry to give him her gift. He thanked her before opening it, receiving a set of nail polish, a few face masks, a vanilla candle, and a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants.Â
Harry was up, and he was a bit nervous for this one. You knew that it could either be you, Niall, or Addie since you were the three left without gifts. He stood in front of the fireplace as everyone looked at him. You thought he looked absolutely adorable in that Santa hat, which you think every single year. He slowly walked over to Niall, making him beam, but turned around and walked over to you, earning a âHey!â from Niall.Â
âMerry Christmas Eve, Eve,â Harry greeted you, handing you your gift. You smiled brightly, grabbing the box. It was a quite heavy box with brown wrapping paper with reindeers on it and a large red bow. âI wrapped it myself,â he smirked, playfully flipping his shirt hair, and you giggled.Â
You ripped the paper and opened the box, eyes softening. In the box, there was a graphic tee, your âand hisâfavorite fresh perfume by Jo Malone, five pens with your first and last name engraved in the middle, a Cravings cookbook from Chrissy Teigen and a yellow and white vertical striped apron with the words âSummer Lovinâ with a sun embroidered at the top. Your eyes watered at the words at the special but emotional meaning behind it.Â
Two months before you and Harry broke up, you knew it was the end. You both agreed that you would spend two months together before you had to part ways with one another. It was the most special and fun summer you ever had, but emotionally, it was the worst. Knowing that you werenât going to be together anymore by the end of it was behind the facade of the endless laughter and love. You really didnât want it to be over, but you understood and needed to grow separately and blossom with your careers.Â
The words behind the embroidered apron was from one summer night. You and Harry had a bonfire at the beach, and you were cuddled up with him as he held a blanket around the both of you. You had tequila disguised like water as you held your bottle up to the best summer loving. You wished the circumstances were different, but if itâs meant to be, then heâll come back to you.Â
âYouâve always wanted to learn how to cook and Iâve seen that youâre starting to on your Instagram stories, so I thought these were the perfect things to get you so you could be a proper chef now,â he said with a soft smile.Â
Harry truly paid attention to the small details of your life. Together or not, he intently listened and observed without anyone knowing. He nailed it down to the small details; from the perfume, the pens, and the apron. The sentiment behind it was what made the gift so special, and the person who gifted it to you completed and made it so much better.Â
As your vision had gone glassy, you sat on your knees, reaching up at Harry for a hug. He bent down to your eye level, sitting on his knees as well as he wrapped his arms around your shoulders. You held him tightly, sniffling into his shoulder as a rush of overwhelming emotions hit you. Your heart fluttered and pounded at the same timeâa feeling that was familiar to your body when it came to Harry.Â
âThank you so much. This is the most thoughtful gift ever,â you said into his shoulder. This gift was number two on the list of gifts youâve received from him, following Harry himself as your number one, of course.Â
Harry pulled his head back slightly to press a kiss to the side of your head. The gesture had made your heart swoon and you smiled against his shoulder. Everyone was watching you two interact, and they all thought this was finally the moment where you two would get back together again. Theyâve all seen you two suffer enough being without each other, along with the heavy tension that there was. All they wanted was for you both to be happy.Â
You pulled away from him, looking up at his green eyes as they stared into you. He offered you a small smile that took your breath away before he wrapped one arm around your shoulder, bringing you into his side as he wasnât quite done holding you.Â
After a few minutes, your friends had let you have your moment before Niall complained how he didnât have a gift yet. You and Harry chuckled, letting go of one another, and he placed the Santa hat onto your head before you slowly started walking over to Niall. When you handed him his gift, he cheered happily before opening it. You had given him several customized guitar pics with his initials printed onto them, a leather notebook since he liked to write songs, and Proper 12 Irish Whiskey, which was fitting because heâs Irish and he likes Connor McGregor. He thanked you with a big hug, picking you up off the ground with one arm as he held the alcohol bottle in the other.Â
Addie was the last one who hadnât received a gift, and Niall was her Secret Santa. He gave her a bunch of makeup with your help, and a tupperware set, which she had been asking for since everyone always took her containers because she liked hosting so many parties.Â
The rest of the night had gone on for a few more hours before everyone was pretty tired, deciding to call it a night. Everyone helped clean up, making sure to help Addie with the dishes and putting or throwing stuff away. Although you were cleaning, you loved your entire group. This was your family--the closest people to you. The ones who know everything about you and would laugh at you when you fall before falling with you. You were entirely grateful for everyone in this room, and you couldnât have asked for a better group to spend more holidays and days with.Â
After the cleaning was done, Niall and Eli started to head out, not before Eli was satisfied with the amount of goodbyes he gave Nic with how long the hug was. Niall had to physically pull him off, telling him the Uber was outside.Â
You were washing your hands before Harry walked over next to you, handing you a towel to dry off your hands. âThank you,â you muttered, shyly smiling.Â
âUh, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come over?â He proposed. Your brows raised at his question. You and the girls had planned on having a sleepover after, but the prospect of going home with Harry had sounded much better (no offense to your friends).Â
âI was planning to sleepover hereâŚâ you decided to innocently tease, even though you knew you were going to say yes.Â
âI already asked them, and they said I could take you. I could drop you back off here if you want. So, the answer is up to you,â he smirked. A blush appeared onto your cheeks, admiring the fact that he asked your friends for permission if he could take you home.Â
âThereâs bound to be talk tomorrow,â you teased, lightly nudging him.
âIâll take my chances,â he smiled, a hopeful look presented on his face.Â
You breathed out a chuckle, looking at him for a moment before you nodded. âYeah. Letâs go.â Harryâs eyes widened as the corners of his lips turned up. You grabbed your phone and your coat before walking over to Addie and Nic who were both cuddled up on the couch, saying goodbye to them. They sent you a playful wink, and you rolled your eyes as nerves startled to settle in your stomach.Â
You followed Harry out of the door, the cold air brisking past you as you walked to his car. He opened the passenger and you thanked him before getting in. Harry started the car and the song that was playing was âBaby, Itâs Cold Outside.â It was a song you loved ever since you were a little girl, and you remembered the times you and your mom would always sing it in the car. You smiled at the memory, humming as you hoped it would be a way to distract you from the anxious feeling that you have.Â
You started humming to the tune as quietly as you possibly could, but Harry heard it as he started to hum it as well. You looked at him through your peripheral vision, noticing that he started to tap his fingers against the steering wheel.Â
You were about to start singing until you noticed that he pulled into his driveway, so you contained yourself and closed your coat, getting out of the car as you followed him into his home. Youâve only been inside his home three times--those three times being when he would suggest everyone hang out there. It was a lovely place and whenever you were sitting on his couch, you had wished you shared the space with him.Â
Harry lit up the fireplace, placing the metal shield in front of it before turning back towards you and smiling. âMake yourself comfortable. Iâm just going to get us some hot chocolate, if thatâs alright?â He asked, wanting to know your preferred drink.Â
âSound good.â You hung your coat onto the coat rack before walking over to his turquoise velvet couch and taking a seat, getting comfortable to an extent, not knowing how comfortable you should get.Â
Not long after, Harry came back with a wooden tray, and he placed it on the coffee table in front of you. There were two mugs filled with milk, two hot chocolate kits, and spoons.Â
âI made these for my students, and I just so happened to have two extra kits, so this will be fun,â he smiled, and you gave him one back appreciatively. You thought that it was cute and sweet of him to give something to his students for the holiday season. Normally, teachers donât give them anything, but Harry wasnât just any other teacher.Â
A somewhat comfortable silence fell over you two as you both made your own hot chocolate, and you listened to the fireplace roar. Once you two were done, you clicked your glasses together before taking a sip. The warm and comforting drink made you smile and was overall delicious.Â
Harry didnât know what to say or how to say what he really wanted to say. It felt like he had non stop thoughts running through his head, but when he opened his mouth to start, there was a delay. An overwhelming feeling took over him and he wanted to yell at himself for not saying how he really felt.Â
âY/N-âÂ
âHarry.âÂ
Just like before, your minds had been in sync, causing you both to speak at the same time. A light laugh came out of both of your mouths.Â
âYou go first,â you told him.Â
Harry took a deep breath. âHowâre you doing?â He asked. Out of everything he could have said, that was the only question that came out of his mouth, but he figured itâs a good start to getting somewhere.Â
âTruthfully?â He nodded. âIâm doing okay. Iâve managed to distract myself from worrying about the future with work, and so far, itâs been helping.âÂ
âWhat are you worried about?â Harry wondered curiously. He could feel his heart pounding through his chest, and if heâs being honest, itâs been that way the first time he saw youâŚever.Â
âWorried if Iâm gonna be where I want to be career wise, andâŚâ you trailed off.Â
âAnd what?â He encouraged you to continue. His stare was so intimidating and deep that the words flew off your tongue, making them unforgettable. âBa--Y/N?â He called out for you, noticing how he almost slipped up and called you âbaby,â and you so wished he hadnât stopped himself.Â
You finally mustered up the courage to speak your thoughts. âIâm afraid that Iâm gonna be alone,â you said honestly.Â
Harryâs brows furrowed, shaking his head instantly. âYouâre not alone, no. You have your family, all of us--your friends, me-âÂ
âYou?â Your brows raised.Â
âYeah-âÂ
âHarry, youâre the reason why Iâm so worriedâŚâ you confessed. You were starting to get frustrated--not at Harry, but at yourself because you had planned to have this conversation a different day. You tried to calm yourself down, and Harry could practically see that you were getting angry at yourself. You had a certain stressful and frustrated look that he would notice when you started to beat yourself up over things. And throughout the months of being with you, especially when you were in the midst of law school, he learned how to calm you down.Â
Harry placed his hand on your knee; the touch being unexpected to you, but it had brought you immediate comfort. He pulled you into his side and you rested your head on his shoulder, looping your arm under his, the one thatâs on your leg, and hugged his arm. Harryâs other hand touched your arm, caressing and soothing you. His actions had felt very natural and familiar to him. He would comfort you like this when you were feeling stressed. Normally, he wanted to cuddle you tightly, but this was your preferred way to calm down because in a way, he was still holding you, and you were still in control and didnât feel like you were suffocating if he had held you tightly.
You stayed like that for a few moments, and you had calmed down a bit already, but you just wanted to be close to him and cherish the moment.Â
After a few minutes, you pulled away and turned towards him, smiling softly. Your heart warmed at the fact that he remembered exactly what to do when you started to feel anxious, and you may have fallen in love with him even moreâŚafter all these years.Â
âNow, wanna tell me why youâre so worried?â He asked softly, not wanting his tone to be pressuring, and youâre grateful for it.
âIâm worried Iâm going to have to live a life without you. It terrifies me to think about you going out and meeting someone, and I would have to watch you get married to someone else thatâs not me. That you would be sharing this home with someone thatâs not me.â Your eyes start to water, and you had mentally told yourself that you wouldnât cry, but you didnât believe yourself in the slightest. âWatching you love someone else is going to be the most difficult thing I would have to do.âÂ
Your tears had fully fallen down your face, which is unfortunate because you both had such a good day with your friends and it was nearly Christmas. Quickly wiping your tears away, you got up from the couch, and headed towards the door. Harry was confused until he saw you grab your coat, putting it on. In a flash, Harry got up from the couch, walking towards you.Â
âW-What are you doing?â He asked.Â
âI really canât stayâŚâ you told him sadly. You had no idea how you were getting home or back to Addieâs since itâs snowing, so you donât know if there were any Ubers out, especially at this time. âThis evening has beenâŚso very nice, Harry.â
âYou donât have to leave. Baby, itâs cold outside, câmon,â he pleaded with worried eyes. Your heart melted at his words and the name that he used to call you, making you pause in your movement.Â
âPlease,â he pleaded softly, taking a small step forward, and your breath hitched in your throat as you looked up at him. There was a dead silence between you two that was tension filled, and you had no clue what was going to happen next until he opened his mouth.Â
âMind if I move in closer?â He whispered. The sound would barely be audible if anyone else was there, so he said those words specifically for you to hear.Â
You shook your head, and he took another step forward. Your bodies were a centimeter away from being pressed up against one another, and your heart was beating so fast, making your hands shake and tremble. He looked down at you so intently that you were under his spell, and you were conflicted as you wish you knew how to break the spell as his green eyes looked deep into you, luring you in even more.Â
You took a deep breath. âKiss me already,â you breathed out. Harryâs heart nearly stopped at your words, but he slightly smirked as he blushed, brushing your hair behind your ears before taking your face into your hands and leaning down to place a deep and passionate kiss onto your lips.Â
This feeling, this touch, this man was what youâve been waiting for these past two years. Throughout those years, you felt like giving up; accepting the fact that he wasnât going to love you again. But he had proved you wrong in the simple brush of his lips and tongue that were in sync with yours, making the spark between you grow bigger and bigger. The spark that had never lost its power, but was on pause.
You grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer as the other hand was wrapped around his back. Harry had you pushed up against his front door, and you had the urge to lift your leg up to wrap it around him, but you resisted.Â
Harry wanted more, too. His hands trailed down from your face to your back, closing the nonexistent proximity between you, and guided you back to the couch. You were walking backwards, completely trusting him that he wouldnât let you fall as his lips never left yours.Â
You giggled once the back of your legs hit the couch, falling onto the soft material as Harry hovered over you, laying in between your legs. He looked at you for a moment, studying every freckle, the crimson color on your cheeks, the curve when you smile, your glimmering eyes, and your cute nose. He knew that it was exactly how he remembered. After a couple of years being separated, a beautiful face like yours was hard to forget.Â
âYouâre quite crazy to think Iâd want to live the rest of my life with someone else when youâre right in front of me,â he suddenly said. Your eyes widened at his confession. âNever wanna be without you ever again. Thought you didnât want to be with me when I came back, so I just didnât bother. But you have no idea how much I missed you. I missed you so much.âÂ
He placed soft kisses all around your face as he spoke, leaving you feeling so tender and soft as he was so gentle with you. For someone whoâs on her way to becoming a lawyer and always having to have an answer for everything, you were speechless. The words that youâve been waiting for for so long were music to your ears. It rolled off his tongue so smoothly, slick like honey, and you connected your lips with his again, swirling your tongue against his as you devoured his words. Hands finding their way to his hair, you gripped on his locks and pulled just the way he liked it, earning a groan from him, and you smirked against his mouth.Â
You pulled back, leaving him breathless. Swollen lips, blushed cheeks, and smiles plastered on his face, you said the words youâve been itching to say. âI love you,â you blurted out. The words had rolled off your tongue so effortlessly, making shivers run down Harryâs spine as his eyes watered up. âI was listening to Elijah earlier, and heâs right. Lifeâs too fucking short to not have what you want.âÂ
He took one of your hands into his, bringing it up to his lips before placing a kiss onto the back of your hand. Your other hand was playing with the curls that laid delicately on his hands, scratching it lightly.Â
âMissed hearing you say those words.â He smiled, tears making their way down his face. âI love you too. So, so much that you have no idea how I feel when you walk into the room and I see your beautiful face. I love you. I love you. I love you, baby.â His affirmations had caused you to softly sobâthe two of you a crying mess from the obvious but unspoken love that was finally being released again. âItâs always been you. Youâve always been my girl, did you know that?â You tilted your head a bit. âNever gonna go a day without reminding you that you are, because youâve never not been my girl. Had to love and admire you from afar, but just wanted to hold you and kiss you.âÂ
âYou can kiss and hold me all you want now, my love,â you reassured him, and he dug his face into your neck, placing a soft kiss against your skin.Â
You smiled so brightly as your heart felt so happy and overflowed with love, and he matched your grin, feeling the same way.Â
The two of you kissed each other for a bit more, whispering sweet words, and laughed and talked about anything and everythingâtruly catching up with one another.Â
âOh.â He got off of you, making you slightly pout from the weight of laying on you that you already missed. âI actually got you another gift.âÂ
âHarryâŚyou already got me enough.â It was true. Along with the thoughtful gift, he was your true Christmas miracle.Â
âI know. But this one, I wanted to give to you in private, and this is the perfect moment, so let me do this?â He looked at you with sweet and pleading eyes with a small smile on his face. Who could ever say no to that adorable face? Certainly not you.Â
You nodded, and he shot up, heading towards the stairs. âGive me thirty seconds,â he said before rushing up the stairs.Â
You heard him shuffling up there, and the sound of a drawer opening and closing. Thirty seconds later, he was walking downstairs, holding a white box wrapped in a red bow. He sat back down next to you, looking into your eyes as he spoke.Â
âThis is what I wanted to give you when we were alone. It didnât matter the outcome of how things turned out between us tonight, I just wanted to give you this because I think youâll appreciate it. It reminded me of you when I saw it, and I knew I had to get it.â He handed you the box with slightly shaky hands.Â
You untied the bow, taking the top off. A gasp came from your mouth as you picked up the chain. It was a little gold sun pendant, symbolizing your summer together. You studied the charm for a moment, delicately touching it as you teared up at the meaning behind it. It matched quite well with your embroidered apron, and the two together would be quite the match.Â
âThank you, Harry. This is so sweet of you.â You leaned forward, giving him a hasty kiss to his lips, smiling against them. âHelp me put it on?â He nodded eagerly. You handed him the necklace before turning around, lifting your hair. You felt the cool metal chain hit your skin along with Harryâs lingering touches across your shoulders, causing your skin to pebble. He placed a quick kiss to your neck before pulling away. You turned around to meet his eyes as you smiled.Â
âBeautiful. Absolutely beautiful.â He kissed your forehead. âIâm so happy. Merry Christmas Eve, Eve, baby.âÂ
âMerry Christmas Eve, Eve, my love.âÂ
You cuddled into his side as the silence took over. The only thing was heard was the pounding of your love-filled hearts along with the cracking of the fire. Sure, it was cold outside, but right here in Harryâs arms, you were warmer than ever.Â
please come into my inbox and talk about your thoughts and feelings on this! also feedback is appreciated, thank you for reading! <3
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hi, genuinely curious, why do you think you know so much about btsâs personal lives? like just shipping real people in general that you donât now personally, bc i saw some of ur posts(not just u, a LOT of others seem to think the same) and iâm confused like how do you know all that from a video/photo?
Ask 2:Â hi i think i might have sounded rude in my last anon and im so so sorry if i did, i donât mean to sound mean but english isnât my first language and i donât now how else to write it.
What i mean is i just canât see it, but so many ppl including you seem convinced jimin and jungkook are a couple? i now thereâs probably something iâm missing thatâs obvious to everyone else bc to me they just seem like really good and close friends, so like what is it that you think makes it obvious?? (again iâm just genuinely curious abt this pls donât take it the wrong way đ)
Iâm not clairvoyant and donât claim to know what goes on behind closed doors. I have said time and time again that we have no way of knowing what goes on when the cameras are off or when they are in private, unless they tell us.
I do speculate sometimes and make assumptions based on the content Iâve seen, but always original content, and not edited clips. Â
I have also made it clear every single time that these are my opinions and conclusions, take them or leave them.
There is a ton of BTS content out there to go through, which includes, just as an example (because there is so much more):Â Run BTS episodes, interviews (video, written and radio), member Tweets, memories, Bon Voyage, packages (summer, winter), Bangtan bombs, fan meets, Musters, concerts etc.
You need to watch original content, because, and it saddens me to say this, there is some Jikook YT content that is distorted, edited, slow motioned to fit the story, and not all of it is ârealâ in the sense, that if you see the original content, see the true moment within itâs context and in real speed, well, it isnât a ârealâ moment. I have called out some of those moments in the past.
But there are things you canât fake. Â
There a several moments that solidified for me the special connection between JK & JM. Â
Watch original content over the years and you will see there is something special between those two, a special and strong connection. JK clearly finds JM as someone he can confide in and someone that can calm him or console him in times of need. He has said it in interviews and we have seen him do so in the content out there.
JM is JKâs anchor. His safe place.
JK is JMâs happy place. When JM is down JK is the one who knows how to cheer him up. Even Jin had mentioned it once in an interview.
JK is JMâs protector in sorts. Weâve seen them at the airports, weâve seen him carry JM after concerts.
They are super close. We know they constantly choose to travel together in the same car (when every member has their own car and they are the only ones together)... They choose spend âoff timeâ together - bowling, going to watch a movie, ice skating with each other. JK himself told us in BV4 that the only members he sae during their time off were JM & Hobi. They are just super close.
So what made me make the one step further and conclude they are romantically involved?
There are several things that pushed me over the edge. Some of them are:
First, the content, again. There is content out there that is way beyond âwe are very close platonic friendsâ. Things they say or do in front of the camera that give you so much âwe are a coupleâ vibe.Â
There is content that makes you feel like you are intruding on a very intimate private moment:Â
MAMA 2018 is one of them. I canât say one, because there are so many moments there that are âWOW, whatâs going on here?â
Rose Bowl is also such a moment that is as clear as day, with no acceptable logical explanation other than: âthere is something more between those twoâ. Â
Those are only 2 examples, but there are many more such moments, where the intimacy level is way more than even the best platonic friendship out there.
You donât need to be a rocket scientist to put 1 & 1 together here. These moments are loud and clear.
There are the more subtle moments too, those that add up on you, those that if you will look at each of them by themselves you would say:Â âyeah, nothing hereâ, but when you put them together, another one and another one and another one, well the conclusion is pretty much clear.
Itâs JMâs Tweets, their matching clothing over the years, their choice to spend time together, their private trip, GCFT, JKâs choice to put JM front and center in all his other GCFâs, the way they look at each other, the way they talk about each other, the two very famous lives from 2016 (Taeâs & Hobiâs), their own lives (OMG), things JM tells us (like waking up and seeing JK is what makes him happy these days), âyou are me I am youâ, the way they touch, especially during the first few years (2016-2018), those hesitant light touches & brushes (if skinship is not an issue here, why do they hesitate so much to touch each other??? when they have no problem doing so with the others, all when we do know just how close they are), the way they talk to each other, they way JK lets JM get away with shit, while he doesnât the other members, the way JK drops honorifics with JM +++++ so much more.
There another couple of independent points that helped to push me over the edge too. Â
The first is the other members reactions when JK & JM go on with their shenanigans. RM, Hobi, Jin, Suga & Tae all react differently, each and every one of them has a tell. Suga and Tae go blank many times. Jin lowers his head. Hobi either had a worried look on his face or a big fat smile, and RM, well heâs the most obvious out of the lot. Itâs facial expressions, uneasy movement, fisting his thighs, looking to Hobi or Suga with pleading eyes, running to the two thinking he might have to defuse a moment, separating the two when he feels itâs needed. Itâs all that and then some. Now if there is nothing âmoreâ going on between those two, why is all of that even necessary??? Those twoâs interactions on camera just make the rest of the group nervous, especially RM. Ask yourself the question: why?? Â
Another thing I keep asking myself is, if these two are clearly super close, why is there a constant need to downplay their closeness? This is something that is done by BTS and BH as well as the fandom. And I find it hard to understand, again, if there is nothing extra going on between them, why downplay them. You may disagree with me on this, but to me it seems they are way closer than JM & Tae, but they are called âsoulmatesâ while JK & JM are ânothingâ? Itâs like they are there, and itâs clear as day just how close they are, but itâs not a subject they are allowed to talk about. And the way the fandom is as much as ignoring it also raises so many questions for me. If this is an innocent platonic close friendship, why ignore it? How come the fandom isnât celebrating it?Â
Thing is, that not only does the fandom ignore their connection, they are being hated for it. The level of anti and hatred out there towards them is unbelievable. And yet again, that raises the question of why? If nothing is going on there why such anti towards those two, together, in particular?
At the end of the day, I guess life experience is probably what helps me out here. I have been around for a while, experienced love and heartbreak, and also a long term relationship. I know the signs, you could say. It helps being able to assess a situation and read into it. Â
Itâs ok to question yourself. I do so constantly. I watch and re-watch content. I read interviews, I question my logic, my conclusions. I, just like any normal person, do have self doubt at times. Believe me, I would not have written what I have before checking and re-checking myself. And still, these are my conclusions. I believe that JK & JM are not only super close, but also romantically involved. There you have it.
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haikyuu boys with a professional volleyball player! s/o đ
characters: kuroo, bokuto, kita, oikawa & sakusaÂ
tw// swearing
thank you anon for this awesome request!
TetsurĹ Kuroo
heâd tell all his teammates about you and none of them would care
well, lev would care - heâd be so excited and asking for kuroo to get him your autograph but yaku would just be like âyou donât actually believe him, do you? đâ
so yeah, yaku would convince lev and yamamoto that you were just a figment of kurooâs imagination
even thoUGH YAKU KNEW YOU WERE A REAL PERSON BC HE HAD MET YOU BEFORE AND Â HE KNEW THAT YOU WERE DATING KUROO AIREBVKZGA he just loved annoying kuroo <3
and he did the job well bc kuroo was definitely annoyed
heâd be waving his phone around, desperately trying to show lev and yamamoto the selfies he took with you but theyâd just be like đ
then he finally convinced you to come visit him at practise to put an end to his humiliation
so you appeared one day and kuroo was so hyped
but not as hyped as yamamoto
he has hot-ppl senses which tingled when you entered the room so he was the first to greet you while kuroo was sitting setting up the nets
he was literally all over you
âwoah đ your thigh are so tonedâ
âuh thank you ???â
and kuroo was not here for it
âAYE GET YOUR DIRTY PAWS AWAY FROM THEM!!â
yamamoto fkn shits himself and runs âđââď¸đ¨
then kuroo picks you up bridal style and parades you around the gym, rubbing it in everyoneâs face - especially yaku and lev
âguys, do you see this? my totally REAL s/o! whoâs been to NATIONALS!! uhuh. all mine, yâall.â
yaku is so ticked off and definitely goes to snitch him out to Nekomata
and lev is just so awed, â(y/n) is real???â
for a moment he thought he was dreaming too until kenma purposefully hit him with a ball
âput me down, tetsurĹ.â you groaned, folding your arms over your chest
he obeyed, gently setting you down on your feet before pecking your lips, âok, well, i should probably get back to practise now - train hard so hopefully one day i can be as good as you.â he joked, teasingly emphasising the âyouâ.
you playfully punched his arm before turning on your heels to head out, âyou wish!â
although heâll always joke about how amazing you are in comparison to him but he genuinely admires you đ¤Š
KĹtarĹ Bokuto
he hypes you up to his team constantly
theyâve literally never even met you and they are being asked all these questions from bokuto lol
âhey onaga, did you see (y/n) at their nationals game the other day?â
onage flinched upon being jump-scared by his captain, then choked out a little white lie, âuh yeahhh.â
bokutoâs face lit up, âgreat! they were so amazing during the third set, werenât they? what was your favourite part?â
onaga froze, âuhh- oh, i think i hear anahori calling me to help him practise his sets! gotta go.â then he proceeded to bolt off
bokuto shrugged it  off at first as he shouldnât complain bc a teammate dropped a conversation to continue training with anahori - i mean, onaga came to volleyball club to practise so he wasnât obligated to make conversation with bokuto
but while he was saying his goodbyes to everyone as they left the gym to go home, it hit him-
âbye, komi! buh-bye, washio! and goooodbyeeee, konoha.â bokuto let out a relived sigh as he had now finished saying his partings which meant he could lock the gym then go home, âwait-- ANAHORI DIDNâT EVEN COME TO PRACTISE TODAY! ONAGA!â
bokuto was deeply disheartened that his own teammate would lie to him - to get out of a conversation about you, no less
he just wanted them all to love you as much as he does
like..heâs your biggest fan!!!
~ even post-timeskip ~
heâd show up to all of your games wearing your jersey and some of the eagle-eyed press would try talk to him
theyâd interview him about his own affair or about the MSBY Black Jackals but he genuinely has no interest in talking about that bc today is your day and he is here to support you
âare you and your team hopeful to attend Olympics despite player Miyaâs rumoured injury? and disclose whether these rumours are factual?â
sakusa decked atsumu after he joked about having covid-
the interview shoved and waved a microphone in bokutoâs face while he just stared at them blankly like â_â
after a while bokuto stuffed a handful of popcorn in his mouth and chuckled, âdonât know! but the game is about to begin, shhh!-â he hushed the interviewer, instinctively swatting the microphone away as he stood up in the stands to cheer for you, âWOOOO! GO, (Y/N)!â Â
then he turned to the interviewer who stood frozen with a dumbfounded look on his face, âTHATâS MY LOVERRRR!â he screamed into the microphone so loudly that all the press naturally backed off
and please do the same for him when the press approach you at his games đ
Shinsuke Kita
ofc he dates a volleyball player player-
he is such an ushijima
he is ushijima if he wasnât left-handed
he doesnât really brag about you too often at practise but he feels so proud when you win a game then he comes to practise the next day and his teammates tell him to pass on a congratulations
also he always comes to your games
no matter how minor or how large
youâd think you could both bond a lot over volleyball and you did that in the beginning
but over time - especially when you started playing volleyball professionally - you found other things to bond over and saved volleyball for work
he probably runs a (y/n) stan page AEIVBARTBV
AND YOUâD NEVER GUESS
like he is literally a rice farmer- you are under the impression that he doesnât even know what facebook is
and heâs good at selling the act too
âdid you see the picture of us i posted on my instagram?--â you asked, taking another spoonful of your cereal
âinsta what?â kita inquired without hesitation
then as soon as you exit the room, heâll log onto his (y/n) twitter stan account
ok ok sorry iâll stop now
anyway he ALWAYS tries to ensure that the first thing you eat after a big game is something that he cooks
and if you go out with your team to eat after a game to celebrate a victory, heâll try at act sweet but heâs lowkey shady tbh
âcongratulations on your victory, (y/n). and to many moreâ he lifted his glass and so did you
but just as you were about to take a sip, kita interjected, âbut that is going to be difficult if you keep filling your body with junk rather than healthy, organi--â
âkita-â
âok.â he took a sip of his drink in your honour
HE JUST CARES ABOUT YOUR HEALTH AND WELLBEING HEâS NOT TRYING TO BE RUDE đ
TĹru Oikawa
again, when you and oikawa first started dating, volleyball was one of the only things yâall talked about
but now that you were both doing it professionally, it was basically banned in your home
well, the the game itself wasnât banned but i mean, why would you do something all day then come back to talk about it more?
you both might adore volleyball but everything has itâs limits lol
anyway, oikawa is another one that is extra af when they come to your games
he probably makes a sign and paints his face in your team colours
and when you come out onto the court, heâll blow you a kiss and if you donât blow one back heâll be so offended lmao
bc he always makes a big deal out blowing you a kiss or winking at you as soon as he steps out onto the court
itâs basically a thing he does for good luck at this point
also, if there are ever ppl trying to take pictures of yâall in public- oikawa is the first to make a big show for them
like heâs all up on youÂ
heâll dip you then push his lips against you for a passionate kiss, in front of the ppl and they always go fkn crazy
he thinks he is like..BeyoncĂŠ famous...which he is not
please humble himÂ
but nicelyÂ
but yâall only get attention around summertime when you are frequently playing big gamesÂ
like if oikawa leaves the house a week you competed in a big game- heâll literally get swamped with ppl asking about youÂ
but contrarily, if you both leave the house in winter literally no one would even spare you a glance
on a RARE occasion, someone might sneakily snap a photo but thatâs it
so you get the best of both worlds :))
also, if youâre an ace and heâs ever feeling down, if you ask him to set for you for a bit and you compliment one/all of his sets, heâll literally feel so much betterÂ
Kiyoomi SakusaÂ
sometimes you both come back from a rough day at work, slump on the couch and watch TV together
after showering, changing, dinner etc
heâs not nna come anywhere near you if he thinks there is a chance he might be stinky from practiseÂ
he turned on the TV and it just so happened to be on an Live volleyball game in some language that neither of you understood
heâd snake his arms around your shoulders and pull you close to his chest, satisfied by your synced breathingÂ
heâd press a single kiss against your jaw before shifting his attention onto the channel
youâd lay there in his arms, both of you seeming content in each otherâs presence while watching the game
in reality though, neither of you were actually absorbing anything that was happening on the court - you were just staring blankly at the TV
the TV simply served as background noise to your cuddling
tbh he was way more interested in hearing the sound of your heart beat peacefully against his chestÂ
after a while, if he gets bored, he might finally break the silence by inquiring about your day
but if he doesnât, youâd probably end up falling asleep in his arms, forcing him to sleep on the couch bc heâs doesnât want to risk moving and waking you up đĽş
anyway, heâs another one that likes to save volleyball for work then leave it by the door as soon as you step inside the houseÂ
but heâs not as uptight about it as oikawa or kita
like heâll happily put on a volleyball match for you guys to watch if he thinks the playerâs techniques are impressive
also, if the weather is nice, if you ask him to come out and practise with you for a bit and heâll say yes đ¤
but actually đ¤ now that is think about it, if you guys had a pool in your back garden sakusa would definitely make the most of it
youâll humbly ask him spike for you on a nice sunny day and heâll be like
âvolleyball? really? we bought this expensive ass house with a pool which we can only use 4 out the 365.25 days of the year and you want to play volleyball? donât you do that like..every work day.â
what can i say? man likes getting his moneys worth đ¤ˇââď¸
âso is that a no to volleyball?â youâd ask
*cue sakusa picking you up bridal style and dropping you into the pool*
then you play pool volleyball đ
as for your games, he turns up in casual wear đ
disappointed but not surprised
youâll jokingly be like âhey! why arenât you wearing my team colours? how are people gonna know who youâre cheering for?â which is fair bc you turn up to all his games with his MSBY black jackals jersey with one of those foam pointy fingers with his number on it
MANS WOULD POINT TO HIS FKN WEDDING RING LIKEÂ âour team colours right here.â
#kuroo tetsuro x reader#bokuto x reader#kita x you#oikawa x y/n#sakusa x reader#sakusa fluff#sakusa x you#sakusa headcanons#kuroo x reader#bokuto fluff#kita x y/n#oikawa tĹru#oikawa toru x reader#kita x reader#haikyuu x gender neutral reader#sakusa imagines#kuroo x you#bokuto hcs#oikawa imagine#oikawa scenarios#kita hcs#bokuto x y/n#kuroo scenarios
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just screamed over your fem todobaku it was endlessly entertaining and Iâm sure to be rereading it every two weeks from now on... the way katsuki pieces things together and the absurd setting is everything I wanted and more TT!!! For prompts.. tdbkâs relationship in the eyes of their classmates? That moment in a prev fic where momo is like yeah Iâm with jirou now đ¤n then tdrk goes oh me too but w bkg is forever embedded into my brain lmfaooo like what does everyone make of this insane pair
pftttttt glad it fulfilled your expectations anon i love writing half-serious todobaku pieces where they are still 50/50 strategic geniuses and emotional morons as per canon but the setting is increasingly absurd. i don't know what the context was for giant deku in that sketch but the visual was too good. date-crasher deku at it again.
as for ur prompt i do love the concept bc i live for third party pov content but i would find it v hard to get done in the prompt format bc 1) honestly a lot of the 1A students (etc) donât have very defined personalities lol and 2) when it comes to those who do i have too much to say to do this in an hour. however i can give you some bulletpoint summaries of the BNOCs (and if you have any specific niche classmates whose take you want do let me know). with that being said...
kirishima: forever and always a supportive bestie and thus leader of the todobaku fanclub. i mean just read my fic yknow. 1000% called it on bakugous side first (and/or bakugou told him) and has been enthusiastically supportive ever since. hes a big ol romantic really and also unironically thinks todobaku is the manliest of pairings (and totally made for each other, bro!!) so hes beyond stoked when they do get together. hes one of their most comfy third wheels bc he and bakugou r very close and he and todoroki r also good friends so no one is like on uncomfortable/uneven footing and hes unfazed by the ups and downs of their relationship bc hes used to both of their antics. the secret-keeper.
i donât have enough separate intel on the rest of the bakusquad but theyâre 1) completely thrown by the revelation that after years of wheedling and trying to set bakugou up into surprise dates he is not in fact âwork-sexualâ, and to top this off is actually into todoroki of all people 2) obnoxiously supportive, as you would expect. secretly theyâre all kind of defensive of bakugouâs fragile heart (citation needed) and so nervous about how the whole thing is gonna work out but when it becomes apparent todoroki does not have better sense they relax and just become excessively nosy. like to complain that bakugou and todoroki werenât content dominating their year academically and professionally they also had to steal out 2 of the countryâs most eligible bachelors, the selfish bastards.
camie: second leader of the todobaku fanclub, idc. clocks it ahead of literally anyone else in their friend group bc she just, like, got that vibe, you know? theres a multitude of equally blunt and inappropriate ways in which she addresses this vibe (calling them out in person when theyre years away from it, trying to not especially artfully orchestrate a get-together, etc) and they are all very unsuccessful. shes âlowkey mad bakugou stole her potential manâ but âfinders keepersâ so once theyâre past that sheâs all for it since she correctly thinks they r freaks best suited to e/o and also honestly probably thinks bl is cute or something. todoroki and bakugou both endure her encouragement very long-sufferingly. big double dater energy.
yaoyorozu: not at all in the first to clock gang, bc honestly the idea she has of todoroki is still a lil idealized/inaccurate and certainly does not involve dating bakugou; the initial reveal is inevitably delivered very casually to her as she scrambles for a polite reaction. sheâs kind of wary of the whole thing at face value but close scrutiny leads her to conclude theyâre actually not-terrible together. upon reaching this conclusion she begins making earnest overtures towards a very confused bakugou bc she figures she may as well make the effort to get to know him better. i always hc her as having had a crush of some variety on todoroki at some point so theres probs a bit of wistfulness involved and also a far larger ânvm dodged that bulletâ energy bc todobaku r romantically a mess and a half. to her despair she is extremely weak to camieâs todobaku gossip.
uraraka: to everyoneâs vague bewilderment, a secret todobaku stan from the get-go. you could say this is bc it leaves deku solidly open but honestly she just has similarly odd friendships with todoroki and bakugou and itâs like a persistent guilty thought of hers that theyâre kind of well-suited somehow. she often tells todoroki he can do better just to wind bakugou up but would be the first to take bakugouâs side if he actually did. she really enjoys them together bc she finds somehow theyâre easier to tease- it humanizes them both further to be weak to dumb emotions. she plays counsellor sometimes but like subtly bc she knows better than to give outright advice.
iida: completely blindsided by the information, also spends several months in the grips of insomnia convinced that both their friend group and japan are doomed given the inevitable dramatic breakup. then he spends a singular day hanging around them at work or something and realises that his imagined version of them as a couple was in fact completely off-base bc theyâre just overly intense workaholics who are too single-focused to ever bother splitting up. also top 1 most likely friend to launch into a completely sincere defense of them and their relationship in response to like the laziest off-color paparazzi bait comment.
midoriya: where to begin honestly. he def gets weird vibes from them throughout the whole usual melodrama but 200% does not come to the right conclusions. when he finally gets the news broken to him (never gently) his brain breaks a little. itâs mainly the bakugou element bc kacchan is.. kacchan and like.. not necessarily fundamentally someone midoriya has ever imagined harboring human interest in another living person. also todoroki in a parallel way has always struck him as resoundingly disinterested in relationships mainly bc hes kind of above them. of course once he sets to theorising he can connect some dots to bakugous various jealousies over the years and also todorokis pretty open staring and wow he is not very good at connecting dots actually. anyways once he recovers from the shock i think theres a variety of ways in which he takes it bc honestly it is very weird that his best friend and his .. closest friend (?) who have always primarily interacted through or due to him now have this competing private relationship. regardless obv he is intensely supportive in like, the typical kind of overbearing midoriya way. i sometimes make it so its just one of those things that everyones cool with but also the details will always be something midoriya and bakugou do not want midoriya to know bc Awkward, vs other times i make him super cool w it to the extent that hes just overenthusiastic and todorokis all oh. sure. thanks :) while bakugou loses his shit. he does genuinely think theyâre a really good fit upon reflexion, and since heâs best suited to knowing why heâs p much always correct in his assessments. its one of those things where each duo in the trio has the capacity of playing up the subject matter to the third partyâs detriment, tho when todoroki is the third party heâs less embarrassed by bakudekuâs todobaku discourse and more enduring their various bizarre friendship rituals + the serious physical damage they usually precede.
also aizawa clocks them first and is like oh god please no this is going to take at least 5 years to implode and will age me 10 years in the process
#qui parle#qui ecrit#qui repond#anon#todobaku#tdbk#prompts#sort of#bnha#my tagging is so inconsistent sigh
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I just stumbled onto your account and omg,,
Sis- your writing is so cute and funny!!
I absolutely love it ahhhh,,
And i saw you're a daiya fan Ψ(ďžâďž )Ψ
if it's possible,, may i request some miyuki x reader? where they play catch together hehehehe
I hope you don't mind! đđťđđťđ
[ oh and! who's your fave chara đď¸đď¸ ]
Oh! Welcome to the little blog family anon :D!! Ahh I'm so happy you like the blog, I've been having a lot of fun with it so far!
Yay more daiya fans! I've fallen in love with the show and was a bit sad to see there wasn't a lot of content for it. Oh boy uh, favorite character? That's really difficult....... Miyuki was the first character that really caught my attention so Ig it's him? I also have a soft spot for Ryo, Haruichi, and Kawakami (and like the rest of the team + 3rd years....it's really hard to pick bc I love them all for different reasonsđ
)
Also bc I love Miyooks so much I went a tiny bit over board with this, I hope it's what you wanted if not I'd be happy to do another version thank you for the request đ
Catch with Miyuki
-------------------------------------------
Miyuki taught you how to catch and throw a ball when you first started dating he probably planned this out for your 2nd or 3rd date. Baseball is a HUGE part of his life and he wanted to share this side of him with you
He borrowed a glove from one of the equipment sheds and then dragged you out to the field
He was really gentle and careful not to throw too hard boy has a stRonG shoulder and usually throws pretty hard
100% laughs at you if you miss or drop the ball and have to chase after it
Miyuki didn't really expect playing catch together to become a consistent thing but you both had so much fun that you play at least once a week now
In an odd way playing catch with you was kind of relaxing for him; he didn't have to worry about thinking up plays or reading batters, he could just enjoy your presence and have fun
The more you played with him the better you got a catching and throwing. You really surprised him one night when you threw him the ball and it had a LOT more force behind it. He was very proud and rewarded you with a kiss đ
Side note: if you ever went behind his back and got one of the teams pitchers to show you how to pitch he would go absolutely WiLd. A battery is such a special relationship between players and the fact that you took the time to learn the basics for him?
He gets this insanely warm feeling in his chest and thatâs the moment where everything clicks for him and he goes "oh my God I'm in love with them."
He would help you perfect your pitching style and you both end up learning a lot about each other
Anyways đ
Miyuki had a rOugh week; exams were just around the corner and the team was having longer practices to prep for an up and coming game
In short he was tired, stressed, a bit hungry, and definitely going to explode if Sawamura or Furuya ask him to catch for them one more time -good gOd don't those kids have any other hobbies?!
So when he opened his door to see you standing there, baseball and glove in hand, with a wary smile on your face he was really considering marrying you right then and there
How did you just know he needed a distraction right now?
Miyuki grabbed his glove and walked down to a quiet portion of the fields with you
You passed the ball back and forth in silence, you could tell Miyuki's mind started to drift as he started to throw harder
He threw, what he considered, a pretty soft throw but you not being a baseball player dropped the ball with a hiss of pain the second it came in contact with your glove
He rushed over to you, slipping off his mitt and tossing it to the ground as he jogged over
Miyuki gingerly slipped off your glove and started to inspect your hand, gently pressing and moving it to see if you reacted in pain
"None of this hurts right?"
"No, it just stung a little when I caught the ball I think I'll be fine"
"that's good.....I'm sorry I didn't mean to throw that hard"
"Are you okay Kazuya? You've been out of it all day"
He looked up at you and blinked a few times, Miyuki still wasn't used to expressing his fears and stress to people, especially with the person who held his heart in their hands
But when he looked into your eyes and saw the genuine worry they held, the stone mask he had so carefully crafted at a young age cracked
Kazuya slumped slightly, wrapping his arms around your waist and tugging you into his chest
"You're allowed to talk to me you know. You don't have to unveil your deep, dark secrets but I'm here if you ever need anything"
"I know.....it's just a little hard, I appreciate you being here for me though"
"Do you wanna head back to your dorm or do you wanna play for a bit longer?"
"let's stay out here a little longer, I want to avoid being bombarded by two first years"
#kayquests#miyuki kazuya#miyuki kazuya imagine#miyuki kazuya x reader#miyuki kazuya headcanons#daiya no ace scenarios#daiya no ace x reader#daiya no ace#ace of the diamond#diamond no ace#ace of the diamond headcanons#daiya no ace imagines#ace of diamond#ace of the diamond x reader#ace of diamond x reader
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Gently places my froggy feet right in your ask box
OKAY SO Iâve been meaning to request JFK but I held off bc I thought thereâd be a lot so I đł
I Have Arrived! Aye aye captain.
So,,! If I could, Iâd like to request a JFK x Reader!! Yuh yuh,,,,
Iâm an INFP! Iâm really reserved and donât enjoy starting the conversation first with strangers. But if Iâm forced to, I can at least dish out responses to them pretty okay! Iâd like to say Iâm pretty happy, or act it! But, irl, I more so act- annnnxious, quiet, and- probably sAD AJHAKFHAJ-.
I use They / Them pronouns, and Iâm a Freshmen. :)!
I tend to draw, in- a lot of mediums, too! I also like taking photos of stuff, and Iâd like to maybe be a photographer someday. I also like helping people!! I may not be able to go entirely out of my way to do it, but when I can; I do! :D
So,, Iâd like to request sorta a strangers to friends to crushing / lovers?? Just how thatâd vaguely go, if thatâs okay!! If not, Iâm perfectly content with anything you can come up with :)!!
I hope your day / night goes well!! :D
okay i donât wanna sound like that one teacher who shames everyone else by telling one person they did a good job, but this request is so perfectly specific i just- thank you. you answered all the guidelines. i love this. thank you anon.Â
JFK With an Anxious/Quiet Reader
(strangers to friends to crushing to lovers)
Strangers
JFK probably wouldnât notice them at first. Heâs too busy in his own little world to notice the quiet and artsy kid. They have a few classes together (like math and everything thatâs by level instead of grade), but they sit on opposite sides of the room so they never really interact or even look at each other.Â
JFK mistakenly got placed in a photography class for his junior elective even though he signed up to be in something else, but it actually proves to be an enjoyable experience because of who he met there. JFK and this person -- surprise surprise -- get partnered up for a project together, and thatâs how they initially meet. The course level that JFK got placed in was way too high for him, so he lets his partner take the lead. They teach JFK the basics of photography, and they take JFK around the city to take pictures just for some practice.Â
JFK doesnât learn that fast, but he still tries really hard. His partner is really patient with him, and is glad that they have a topic to talk to JFK about. They arenât good at small talk, so having an area of expertise that they can focus on really helps ease the initial awkwardness.Â
Friends
JFK learns that this person is actually really cool, and starts hanging out with them outside of class. He tries to be discreet about it so people donât start questioning him, but he waves to them in the hallways and sometimes meets up with them for a couple of minutes after school to show them some photos he took, music he likes, stuff like that. Heâs pretty eager with his new friend, especially since they helped him to broaden his horizons. He normally wouldnât spend so much time with someone younger than him, but he gives this person a pass because he genuinely thinks theyâre really cool.Â
JFK is kind of an inconsiderate prick to most people, but not to this person. He admires their passion for photography and how they went out of their way to help him, especially when he can see how anxious they are. He knows he has a big reputation to uphold, but he tries to give back what heâs received nonetheless.
Crushing
 JFK isnât very familiar with these feelings because âromanceâ to him is usually a hookup in the back of his car, but he can feel that itâs a little bit... different with this person. He likes how he feels when heâs just talking to or walking next to them, and he doesnât feel that way about a lot of people. He doesnât really realise that he has a crush on them at first because thatâs a fairly unfamiliar concept to him.Â
This person is also pretty shy around JFK. They know that heâs the big shot popular jock around the school, so theyâre afraid that JFK is just using them for a laugh or sympathy points or something. They donât open up to him about their feelings right away, but they can still feel the change in their relationship.Â
JFK doesnât really know how this person feels about him, because they start pulling back a little bit when they realise that they might have feelings for JFK, in more than a friendly way. Their friendship doesnât exactly turn awkward, but it doesnât flow as easily as it did before. JFK thinks this is his fault, so he tries to be extra careful around them and even drop some hints that heâs into them.Â
Eventually, the photography project ends and neither of them really know what to do. This person feels like they canât continue to be friends with JFK the way they were before because they donât think they belong with someone as popular as him, and JFK feels like he canât hang out with this person anymore because heâs the one who made their friendship awkward (even though thatâs not entirely true).Â
JFK makes a bold move and tells them that he doesnât want to stop hanging out with them, and they tell JFK that they feel the same way. He tries to ask them out in the most subtle way possible. He asks if they maybe want to see a movie on Friday night, and they say yes.Â
Lovers
JFK isnât very good at expressing his feelings with words, but heâs good at expressing them through physical affection. He tries to tell his s/o that he loves them without saying the words, because heâs too scared to say them out loud.Â
JFK does confess first though, because he always gets really close to saying it and then stops himself and eventually he gets tired of stopping himself. He says it in kind of a rushed way, not because he doesnât want his s/o to hear, but because he doesnât know what heâs supposed to do. Heâs never said the words out loud before. JFKâs s/o says it back just as nervously, but they both smile. Theyâre a very happy couple, and their romantic relationship doesnât feel awkward.Â
#clone high#clone high hc#clone high x reader#clone high jfk#jfk x reader#writing#request#ask me!#answer#sent in
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imo, the show was often unilaterally focused on Piper, but only on what she could do for others (Piper the wife and Piper the mother) rather than who she was as a person. Piper's individual characterization was lost sometime around s5 as soon as she got pregnant, and being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series. I would be very interested to hear what you define as Piper's mental issues/trauma, bc as you say it doesn't get said enough
this has been in my inbox forever and iâm just getting around to it so my apologies.
but okay. so. yes. i think a lot of tv shows fall into this weird place where like. all of their characters begin with these kinda vague personalities because youâre just getting to know them. and as the show goes on, you pick up more pieces and stuff . and thatâs great. thatâs interesting and entertaining and it takes you on a journey and all. but often what happens is many shows fall into this pit where writers either get lazy, they change, or whatever, and the actors are tired of playing the part or whatever . and like. the characters become like. caricatures of themselves. and it just gets exhausting to watch because theyâre not like. real people anymore.
Piper's individual characterization
so now for the charmed thing. so from the beginning. i have loved piper. like sheâs the middle sister, overlooked, quiet, reserved, pessimistic but also realistic, gentle, thoughtful, all that. we see right away that she loves to cook .. sheâs so happy her family is back together. she kept in touch with phoebe behind prueâs back. but sheâs loyal to the both of them. her first idea was to have a reunion dinner when phoebe came home. sheâs literally so cute n she deserves a hug. but no like. as we go on, we see that she wants to be good, she wants a stable life with no more loss, she Loves Love !! like. she wants to just be happy , open her own restaurant n just cook. sheâs also so shy .. definitely panicky and anxious. and she doesnât trust herself. sheâs skeptical of everything, and sheâs very thoughtful when it comes to big situations. even in the early days with leo and into season 2, she mentioned a few things about like âiâve been thinking a lot about this...â and you can see sheâs good at communicating with people. sheâs also got these other dimensions to her like . she is interested in lots of cuisine types, she loves to read (and is a camus fan !!) , she drives a jeep (which i wanna know how she got bc i have questions), when she found out she was a witch her first thought was just . i need to go and see if i am still a good person . and she went to church. prue was surprised to learn that piper enjoys knitting. in the early seasons (especially mid-late season 3) we saw her with her plants and all. sheâs just this natural peacekeeper. but like. we literally got a crying scene in the second episode because she was so conflicted about this. and sheâs such a deep and complex character that i fell in love with so fast . and like . literally my favourite fictional character to exist . genuinely holly breathed so much life into piper . anyway . so. hereâs the thing.
being a mother and wife pretty much became her sole defining characteristic for the rest of the series
like. piper was who i described above. and like . i kinda think . a bit. that like . the writers . especially in s4 . were like . hmm well . sheâs just lost prue, sheâs gonna be grieving . and like we need more for her. so. sheâs been married to leo for the better part of a year, been with him for like . 3 years. so. letâs maybe consider giving them a kid but not just yet . just Content kinda stuff. so anyway they drop little hints in here and there starting in like . 4x07 i think? which . brain drain really paid the rent . fully just. holly did so well. but like. that ep was just. a neat way of looking into her mind and seeing the horrors of manipulation and gaslighting and everything . and of course holly knocked it out of the park. but at that point, they were kinda like . hmm . kids ? and they started toying with the idea, having piper and leo consider it, talk about it, they had paige and phoebe ask about it , all of that good stuff. as you do. made for some funny tv at some points. and like . i really, really Get It . when piperâs like . ahh the baby wouldnât be safe around here !!!! like. Girl, Valid . your sister just died and like . you went on forever about how she was The Most Powerful One . The Strongest One . and yet she still died . so sheâs like ??? am i next ?? and like obv it doesnât make sense for her to jump on this train of like . iâm gonna have a kid !!!! so sheâs really valid in her thought process there. and like. after having wyatt . i think the writers really . idk. couldnât do waaay too much with her character anymore because i feel like . to an extent, anything she does will be scrutinized bc iâm not just . saying this . i rlly feel like sometimes piperâs the easiest to hate. like idk why but i loved her. but anyway. if she stays at home with wyatt and doesnât wanna fight demons n all . then sheâs selfish towards her sisters n sheâs awful n prue wouldnât have let her do that !!!! etc . but if she fought demons itâs like . uh sweetie you have a child . really ??? why put yourself in a situation that might have you ending up like patty 2.0 ... bc i could do a Whole post on how pattyâs situation messed piper up the most. but anyway.
itâs the way iâm fully rambling so if youâre reading this . i love you . anyway okay . so . i think in a tv show youâve gotta kinda check boxes. the best tv shows have characters you see yourself in . you relate to them. you hear them and understand their decisions and actions and thoughts. the things they do just makes sense 2 you. so like. with prue, anyone married to their job could relate to her. any oldest sibling could see themselves in her, you know ? she was hard-working, committed, logical, protective. and with phoebe, anyone who couldnât âsettle downâ in their early 20s related 2 her, anyone who felt like the outcast of the family, the âscrew-upâ .. right. makes sense. she was so kind, caring, had-your-back kinda girl. we all love those. paige was like . the new kid, trying to fit in, creative, curious, and definitely a lifelong learner. and then thereâs piper who was shy, resistant, really just wanted to be normal. and loved. and i think everyone could kinda identify with at least one of the sisters regardless of where you stood in your own family. so as the show went on, itâs like . they still want you to keep watching and keep being able to identify with them because itâs not like theyâre humans with normal lives so theyâve already kinda lowkey got that going against them . so their more âhumanâ and normal lives... weâve gotta be able to identify with them to be able to invest time. so they had prue always working, having trouble balancing love and work, looking out for her family. we had phoebe kinda living her life, getting her career going, then kinda wanting a family. we had paige learning magic and being super interested and involved and then getting married. and we had piper who had her career pretty early on, got married, and had kids. like. i think the big thing is the marriage and kids. and when youâre a mother . the only mother really in the show, the show lowkey centres around you . like. for starters, the show usually is in the manor, and if youâre a mother, youâre very likely at home, esp with young kids. so i think that alone kinda was like . huh yeah . wonât see piper out waaay too much anymore i guess !!! but no like . thereâs That. thatâs kinda. the thing that really canât change with the show . like. piperâs got kids now and a husband and very, very likely . her life will be centred around her home. which. listen sheâs wanted that i think - the stability . sheâs wanted that forever. and this is the form it came in. but i should stop rambling here and cut to the point .
Piper's mental issues/trauma
disclaimer: iâm not diagnosing her, iâm just speculating based off of my own experiences with mental health
so. okay. very early on. we saw that anxiety. like. yes . she was nervous about like a whole new life experience . or whatever weâre gonna call it when you figure out youâre a witch . but like she was Anxious . like. crying in the attic over being a bad person . needing phoebe to talk her down by telling her sheâs such a caring person, sheâs always doing things for other people . and then thereâs the whole anxiety that comes with. my familyâs falling apart because my sisters are fighting so i use really awkward methods of getting out of things . like using humour as a coping mechanism !!! which. gave us some iconic one-liners. but thatâs beside the point . anyway. point is. early on, that anxiety was there. thereâs an ep in season 1 where sheâs literally entering a panic attack in her kitchen and phoebeâs using a menu to cool her down. like. Yikes! and then sheâs just. her awkward self around everyone but thatâs endearing and is just part of her personality . and i think a lot of the anxiety stemmed from childhood. we heard a few times about how prue and phoebe had boyfriends growing up, were always pretty and popular and all. phoebe was popular, too, just, in the other crowd. but nonetheless, piper faded into the background, doing well in math - well enough to go off and be a banker . and like. she sacrificed a lot for grams. she stayed in san francisco ... we all know the girl had the marks for stanford or something . like. though . still, i think she liked the stability of home and prob wouldâve stayed . but in 3x17 sheâs all !!! grams !!! the doctor said no caffeine !!! and when grams was taking the pic of them outside and she had an episode , piper was all !!!! shallow breaths !!! like. it was clear piper was the one taking her to the appointments and footing the bill. like. she literally became a banker just bc it had benefits n stuff. like. poor girl really thought . anyway thatâs a whole spiral. but no. like she really sacrificed The Most for her family and everyone still thought she was selfish for wanting to move out . when like back then grams was literally ... sick ... and prue was out here moving out and phoebe was nowhere to be found . so. that . definitely would have added to her anxiety about even wanting to do anything for herself because sheâll be perceived as selfish in a heartbeat. even if itâs not Mean . itâs just. sheâd never risk it. but thereâs the anxiety. there are a few lil things here n there about how she gets nervous n stuff, she represses things (3x07 i think was where phoebe said piper represses her anger n just sucks it up n does whatever) . she literally cancelled her doctorâs appointment Twice . anyway. it still angers me. then in season 7 . patty and victor were like . oh she had night terrors that were so bad we took her to the doctor ! and i just ... honey . baby. she thought she caused the divorce. at 4? 5? she watched victor leave on her 5th birthday, watched a demon attack her, grams, and victor. prue said she didnât cry at pattyâs funeral and iâll make a safe bet that piper did. and i think growing up without patty was strange for sure. prue had more memories and phoebe had none. and piper had fragments of this person everyone loved . and she was stuck between knowing her and not knowing her. and when patty was sent to her for her wedding day, (as well as in 1x17) . both times when patty hugged them . prue and phoebe hugged her, eyes closed n all. while piper was on the outside, eyes open . looking numb as all hell . and you know. i rlly think she was Giving Them That because phoebe didnât get her and prue kinda . in a way. lost more of her . if that makes sense ?? and i just. patty really was like . they sent me to You. and 5 seconds later . piperâs like . they sent mom to Us !!! and itâs that idea of sacrifice and never having anything for yourself because she was never just . given anything for herself . everything in her life has been a sacrifice and as a mother, thatâs perpetuated. she can assume that role with more of a purpose . like. people wonât really feel sorry for her now as the âforgottenâ sister, they wonât try and coddle her or anything. and another thing. control. piper craved stability and control. i think while cooking was something she loved, it also gave her a lot of control . she could control her whole kitchen . even in season 8 .. maybe vaya con leos actually . leo mentioned how much piper craves control. and the control motif makes sense with her powers too. like. piper craved control so much that her powers allowed her to control things down to the atom. so thereâs the whole anxiety and needing to control things to ease her anxiety and all. thereâs That whole thing.
and then we get to the infamous season 5 fearless spell . ms girl really sat in the attic just writing everything on the wall and itâs the way i screenshotted it and like . zoomed in and tried deciphering it . and like . thereâs words like âstopâ and i think âsisterâ is in there a few times, so is âlossâ or âlostâ. when i watch it next iâll grab a cap because itâs . disturbing. girl was so scared . literally was writing a spell to get rid of her fears . she also writes Fear . as in. capital F . and like. yeah thatâs deep but i do it too like i emphasize words with a capital letter . and like holly marie combs might just have quirky n fun writing but like ... capital F . for Fear. for real . thatâs . trauma !!! and she also was having panic attacks at the beginning of season 5. letâs not forget those. which ... we shouldâve gotten more of an explanation for . i hope that girl is getting help bc she was Going Through It . and in season 7 when zankou reads her diary . firstly. we Knew this girl kept a diary like . for Sure . she did. and just that little excerpt of when prue died . oops. iâd pay big money to see the rest because again i just think sheâs got such a complex mind and like. iâd be so interested to read that. and i think everything re: prue is just Awful for her. like . idk if this is just something quirky i noticed but obv we know prue died in may 2001 . but at the end of 4x03, when piper goes 2 paigeâs work 2 bring her muffins !! soft !!! the calendar on one of the desks reads july 2001 ... and i really just. ms girl. i Know they prob just filmed the ep in july but it honestly tracks that sheâd be so awfully upset about everything and just . barely able to do anything but cook . for 2 months. like. honey. baby. i wanted 2 just cuddle her bc she was so sad. and like. she tells paige sheâs having âgood hoursâ and ânot so good hoursâ . sheâs going by the Hour . by the Hour . just. need i say more . iâm so . but no like. if anything like i could see her having like . depression where sheâs high-functioning and like just . walking depression i guess ?? like . not even after prue. i think in general. like . she definitely has a melancholic temperament and a type 6 enneagram (the skeptic). thatâs For Sure . but i think. just. sheâs always just had time to think bc sheâs always alone, reading, knitting, cooking, tending to her plants, all that. and i just . think. she has issues. and i think prue knew that. of all people. and i think her knowing that . and then dying. destroyed piper. she lost the last person that was truly a constant in her life . like they shared a roof over their heads forever. and then she was just . gone . and piper was suddenly left to pick up the pieces . and become the oldest sister . and iâm So glad she didnât fully assume her personality. iâm glad she stayed as piper . just. sheâs more cynical and snarky and defensive and cold and thatâs okay. sheâs hurting. sheâs always gonna hurt . and i think it makes her human . sheâs pessimistic and sad and has a short fuse at times . but just. again. i love her to bits and i think those issues make her more relatable for me. because while many like to say she became selfish and a negative person and just . awful to be around . iâd say the opposite . i wonât sit and apologize or justify things. also i donât think piperâs done anything wrong . i just think sheâs hurt. sheâs been wronged so many times. and sheâs .... scared. i think sheâs scared . and in season 5 âsympathy for the demonâ we learn her true biggest fear is her happiness being stolen away. and like . itâs not that sheâs scared she wonât be happy. sheâs scared all of the good sheâs got will be taken from her . and thatâs . terrifying . so . i see why sheâs so snarky and bitter and tired and all . sheâs terrified of things being taken from her like they have been her whole life. and as i watch the show i really like to just keep that in mind as i get further and further in because yes. she did become a mother and a wife and we saw her arguing with leo a lot and their marriage falling apart and That Whole Era . we saw how it kind of took over her life but i think it happens . i think she even said at one point . iâve been so many things to so many people, i donât know who i am anymore . and i think it sums her up perfectly. she doesnât know who she is because sheâs someone to everyone . sheâs just. nobody to herself except this scared little girl who just wants Something . Anything . to make sense . some Stability . and her babies, her husband, and her sisters . are all she has for that idea of stability to make sense in her mind. and it was an easy hole to fall into - the Mother - but i think she jumped in. because at the Very Least . nobody could take that title away from her . regardless of how hard they tried .
#i really cannot believe i did an entire ted talk#like did anyone actually read this#if you did . wow#piper halliwell deserved better#tw: mental health#tw: depression#tw: anxiety#tw: panic attack#but no listen#she deserved so much better#holly paid rent#ask me#charmed#ramble#đ
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I think that you are a genuinely intelligent person. The way you phrase your sentences, basic or not, you always make it seem as if youâve put hours of thought and care into it.
When i see the way you write, I immediately think, âYeah, thatâs def an educated person.â
Ofc i donât know you personally, but i felt if i had told you my darkest secret, you wouldnât tell anyone and you would take that secret to your grave.
Youâre just a very safe person for a lot of us to talk to, and for me, i could almost say youâre like a big sister, except without the sister part because big sisters are mean. Anyways, you seem like a very caring person, and i donât want to compare negatively with anyone else, but usually when i send asks to other creators, i expect a short or vague response, and i didnât rlly have a problem with that. But you actually talk to us, and it doesnât feel like weâre talking to a celebrity who is so far out of touch with us.
Even though you have a lot on your plate with school and writing, you manage to show us your strong side, even if it may be hard. Thatâs what i envy about you. But if you do ever feel it, you can show us that youâre struggling, and the reason you can do that is bcs youâve created a close bond with us. Even with the people who donât send asks, they probably feel care for you like the ones who send asks do.
This may just be me, but I really like to make sure that people feel important and feel their impact on other people. I want you to know that every morning when i wake up and go through tumblr, I always get excited for your posts and i like looking through all of them, especially your daily hongjoong posts.
You are genuinely so talented and I could probably write a whole essay as to why i think your talented. I could analyze your stories and still not really get to the nitty gritty because it would take time to actually try and see what exactly goes on in your mind and your characters minds when i read, and thatâs, like, the best thing ever. Like, there wasnât a lot of authors where i could read their stories and try to analyze their characters, or when i do so, itâs so quick and easy. I hope you get what i mean, because iâm honestly not good at explaining things because my mind is going a mile a second and once a thought it there then it just leaves immediately lmao.
But to finish this off, i will say it simply đ¤ You are an amazing writer and your writing and persona has a positive impact on not only me but all of us. I love you â¤ď¸
- đĄ
NAUR FOR REAL I WASN'T EXPECTING THIS KIND OF LOVE FROM ANYONE HELP?!?! cried the first time i saw this in my emails and cried again reading it just now okay yes AAAAA i feel like any response i try to come up with is gonna be an absolute mess and im gonna be a mess and this is just overall a mess BUT!!!! let me just pretend im put together enough to respond coherently :')
do forgive me if this isn't as detailed or coherent as usual im genuinely a bit !!! speechless because of how kind and beautiful and touching this whole ask is? in all my time on tumblr i don't think i've ever received something like this or something that really shook me the way this ask does and it's such a high honor and a true blessing for me <3
i think for me the thing that is most important in interacting with others around me is that sense of safety. as much as i want to feel safe here on this blog, i want and feel a burning need for others to also feel safe. i want people to know they are loved and cherished here no matter what, and in my time as an anon on various writing blogs, the thing that always bothered me was when people would respond to a detailed ask with 1-2 sentences that never felt genuine. i strive to maintain a certain level of respect for any ask i receive, no matter who is behind it, and i want to give my all in responding to those asks because i know what it feels like to give a lot and receive little in return. beyond that i just adore getting to talk with people, and in real life, talking to people is incredibly difficult and stressful for me. being able to talk so much and so freely here on this blog is such a rewarding experience for me as a person beyond just being a writer and a content creator.
but also im someone who doesn't like showing when things are difficult. i only really admit that it's hard and hurts when it's been bottled up for a while, but these days im trying my best to learn to be more forgiving with myself, and truly it's because of the love and affection and support that you all show me that i feel comfortable enough and safe enough to open myself to you guys.
as someone who also loves making sure people feel important and needed and special, it means so much to me that you find such value in my blog because it's such a special and precious place to me as well
and to hear those compliments about my writing is reall y really something i will cherish forever, i have a place where i keep screenshots and messages that mean a lot to me and i can assure you that this one is going there in an instant. to think that before coming to tumblr, i was so insecure about my writing that i couldn't bear to look at it or share it with even my closest friends and family, and now here i am blessed and lucky enough to share my works with thousands of people is truly one of the greatest blessings i've ever been given. it might seem odd or foolish to some people, but to have this blog and this community and this family of people is so incredibly special to me and has helped me grow as a person in ways i didn't think possible. i adore that i have each and every single one of you because i know i would have left forever ago if not for the community i have been able to build up over the years and it's still as special to me now as it was when i received my first followers.
this is sappy enough and emo enough but thank you from the bottom of my heart thank you and i love you sosoososos much đđđ
send me a LONG (or short) anonymous message saying what you think of me
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For the character ask, Akiyama Shun
ohh man i was hoping someone would send akiyama... anon whoever you are, i love you â¤ď¸
How I feel about this character bro i cant even begin to tell you. god. i fucking love this man. its really scary how hard i relate to him. probably my biggest comfort character rn. i cant tell if i would rather know him and like, be his best friend, or BE him. the gender envy alone has me insane. just thinking about him and things he might do has become a nice pass time for when im bored, especially while im at work.
All the people I ship romantically with this character as with most of the yakuza characters, i find myself enjoying a lot of the ships theyre involved in. ESPECIALLY poly ships. my brain is super focused on akiyama/kiryu rn tho; the pining, the devotion, willing to kill for the one you love... kiryu being totally oblivious, or pretending to be, until akiyama makes his feelings obvious... bro its so good... i also enjoy the ships w ryuji and shinada, and while i dont have many thoughts about tanimura, i think akitani is cute (mostly bc of ONE artist i follow on twt who makes a lot of good akitani art lmao). akiyama/majima just makes me laugh. make it kiryu/akiyama/majima/saejima all together tho and thats a perfect soup to me. i also really like akiyama/ryuji/kiryu inspired by ishin's storyline.
My non-romantic OTP/BrOTP for this character i NEED more content of him and haruka. the game literally sets him up to be another guardian figure for her. uncle akiyama... hes a total disaster about it but he cares about her so much and tries to do his best to protect her. i think it kind of extends from his devotion towards kiryu and protecting kiryuâs interests, but he also genuinely likes haruka and doesnt just think of her as this precious thing to protect the same way you might protect a valuable item or family heirloom. shes an actual person to him, whereas in some of the previous games, shes viewed by the other characters as just a device to manipulate kiryu. whether or not rgg studio wants to show us more of them i firmly believe they keep in contact. maybe even post y6 he helps out at morning glory 𼺠in terms of like. non-familial relationships though, i think akiyama and majima are fucking insane as buddies. just thinking about it makes me laugh. especially when you look at dead souls, akiyama tries so hard to seem cool next to the big scary yakuza men, and majima sees right through it and laughs at his face. i want more of them taking the piss out of each other, because i think once hes comfortable, akiyama could give just as well as he gets.
My unpopular opinion about this character not sure this is a hot take, because i think most people who put a smidge of thought into the series would agree, but i really hate it when people take these complex characters and boil them down to just a few simple character traits. while i get that thats one method to make it easier to write them in your own fic and stuff, i just find it kind of insulting. to the character and to the reader's intelligence. like okay sure, akiyama is shown to be lazy and impulsive and irresponsible, but thats not EVERYTHING about him. and theres nuance to those flaws that i think goes over some people's heads.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. i wish he had been in yakuza: like a dragon. evidently hes really important to the main story of rggo, and since y7 is kind of a retelling of rggo, i wish they had included him. (im still gonna play rggo to see whats different and to see how akiyama is involved, i just wish it wasnt so hard to access for someone who doesnt speak japanese đ
)
send me a character !
#i uh. rambled a little lmao.#i just have lots of thoughts about him....#yakuza#akiyama shun#jazz noises#inbox#Anonymous
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Winter 2020 Anime Overview: Toilet-Bound Hanako-kun
Ok, so letâs get this out of the way first, 1. I adore this story so much and 2. Toilet Bound Hanako-kun has a horrible, horrible English title that is not actually at all representative of the storyâs content and I have no idea what happened when it came to the team choosing that name. To the average English-speaking viewer/reader, this name 100% implies gross stuff and bathroom humor, and there is none in this show.Â
A Japanese reader on the other hand, would be more likely to recognize the name Jibaku Shounen Hanako-kun as a spin on the classic ghost story âHanako-san of the Toiletâ only A BOY THIS TIME WHHHHA?â Basically, the story goes that a girl named Hanako in a red skirt haunts girlsâ bathrooms in Japanese schools and if you knock on the third stall and call âHanako-sanâ three times, sheâll appear. She might grant you a wish or pull you into Hell or something else, it varies.
(Her Wikipedia image, aww.)
Anyway, I dunno why the English title didnât at least go with âToilet Ghost Hanako-kunâ or something that would have gotten the premise across even a little better (HE NOT TECHNICALLY BOUND BY THE TOILET EVEN, HE CAN GO ANYWHERE IN THE SCHOOL GROUNDS THE BATHROOM IS JUST HIS HOME BASE), but our boy Hanako haunting the girlâs bathroom only leads to broad jokes about our heroine being tasked with cleaning the bathroom and âdude you really shouldnât be in hereâ comments, itâs pretty incidental.Â
Now that THATâS out of the way, letâs talk about my LOVE FOR THIS STORY
Hanako-kun tells the story of a âregularâ high school girl named Nene Yashiro, the mischievous and mysterious school ghost she befriends, and all the other weird monsters, exorcists, spirits and curses they encounter. Itâs got a gorgeous, colorful bold aesthetic and art style that combines gothic and cute! It has a great mix of humor, intrigue, angst and fantasy action. basically if you love ghosts, monsters, Japanese mythology and legends, supernatural-human relationships, supernaturally fueled angst and drama, stories about trying to fix an unfair system the world has set up, wistful romance, a good shoujo manga with a Lot of Feelings (yes this is a shonen technically Iâll explain that later), weirdo dorks becoming friends AND MUCH MORE...this story will have something that will resonate with you. Itâs got a lot going on, and itâs a ton of fun.
Hanako-kun is really one of those surprising stories that fits right into a hole in my story-loving heart I didnât realize was still there, or that Iâd actually been carrying since childhood. I love ghosts, see, and have since I was a kid!!! I knew this, but I kinda forgot how intensely I love them until this show reminded me again??? Thatâs because regular ghost stories/mysteries/whatever- I like them, but they donât quite do it for me in the way more character-driven ones exploring the nature of being a ghost and humans and ghosts trying understand each other etc do. Stuff that really gets into the tragedy AND the fun fantasy aspect of ghosts, and plays the long game with it- and Hanako-kun scratches that itch perfectly.
Getting a little bit deeper into the premise of Hanako-kun, Nene is a very brave and sweet but not-all-that-bright girl (or, to put it more bluntly, sheâs an idiot in the best way) who has a lot of romantic fantasies and insecurities and is VERY focused on them. After hearing a rumor at school that âHanako-san of the bathroomâ will grant wishes, she wishes to be able to confess to her crush and finds out its actually a weird ghost boy her age named Hanako haunting the bathroom! A lot of things happen, and she ends up cursed and bound to Hanako-kun, but also ends up slowly forming a friendship.Â
Turns out Hanako is the ghost in charge of the âseven mysteries/wondersâ aka seven powerful supernatural entities that haunt this school (heâs number seven). These apparitions only supposed to terrorize students a LITTLE, because apparitions need to have rumors spread about them to remain in the human world.
(âHAVE YOU HEARD?â Oh hey shadow girls from Utena see youâve moved to a new school.)
The rumors also generally dictate how powerful and dangerous the apparitions actually are- but SOMETHING MYSTERIOUS is changing the rumors around the school and making the apparitions go berserk and actually harm humans. So Hanako needs a human assistant to change the rumors and help him calm and seal the apparitions! Thatâs where Nene comes in.
Hanako himself is a very fun character- heâs very chaotic and revels in his whole â gremlin ghostâ persona, and is upfront about being a bit of an asshole. BUT he also makes his kindness, often good intentions and the fact heâll have his friends back when it counts obvious from the beginning. B U T! Heâs also got darkness and hidden depths to explore, and a lot of his persona is affected and masks deeper issues!Â
Our ghost boy is genuinely A TAD unstable deep down (as in he straight up has several untreated PTSD symptoms and thatâs as disastrous as youâd expect) and packing some serious tragic backstory, as you might expect from a kid who died young and carries around a butcherâs knife, and itâs gonna come back to bite him and and all who care about him hard.Â
 Especially when an overly enthusiastic exorcist named Kou Minamoto shows up! Kou is another one whoâs very dumb and very good, a wannabe-shonen-protag with a heart of gold and strong sensitive, domestic side. He rounds out our main trio. Also he gets a tragic, emotionally intense relationship with yet another ghost boy that sings to my heart.
(Yes Hanakoâs helping Nene to do the thing)
You may be able to tell, this story has INTENSE good-shoujo vibes despite technically being a shonen in a way that I love- itâs story very driven by big emotions, a variety of fucked up and tragically complex relationships, teen hormones running wild, etc, and itâs just delicious.Â
Nene is the normal-person-audience-surrogate-girl in a way that is more common for a shoujo protag, and the way her emotional connections to everyone, her sweeping romantic fantasies and her interiority are consistently in focus when sheâs there- yeah, sheâs definitely a plucky shoujo protag, 100%. And Iâm all about that!!!
 One thing I especially appreciate (though this comes across more strongly in the manga than the anime thanks to the anime rearranging things) is when Nene finds out about Hanakoâs Heavy Baggage, she actually takes some time to herself to consider whether she can handle dealing with someone with these intense issues as a kid whoâs never encountered stuff like this before- itâs not assumed by the story that the Sweet Girl is Obligated to help the Tragic Boy. I go into more detail about this part in this part here, but itâs that kind of attention to Neneâs needs that makes her role in the story work. Hanako and Nene and everyoneâs struggles to get the hang of and properly navigate honest communication and mutual support in relationships are often really great and real-feeling
The story has a lot more things I love packed in to it- a dorky-but-still-deeply-unsettling villain gang whoâs screwed up interactions are just as fun as our protagonists, yokai, A CURSED LIBRARY, some great ladies in addition to Nene, meditations on the nature of life, death, themes about fighting nihilism, and so on...I could seriously go on forever. Itâs good stuff, and thereâs lots of good weird supernaturals to meet.
The storyâs also got tons of intrigue! The overarching plot and Hanakoâs Mysterious Past is still in the process of unfolding, but itâs been great drama every step of the way! As mentioned before, the story also really relies on funny character dynamics, interaction and development to carry the whole thing and balance the drama.
The anime itself does have some pacing issues bc they crammed a lot into the first season and rearranged some stuff- an entire two chapter arc was skipped and was unlikely to be covered in the anime and some parts are noticeably rushed. I still really like the anime and itâs a solid adaptation. I love how much of the mangaâs detailed aesthetic it managed to keep as well as the amazing voice acting and it made a few small but important additions. But there are some notable bumps- of course this just led me to go binge the manga (up to volume 12 is legally available digitally) and BOY DO I NOW LOVE THIS STORY EVEN MORE.Â
Now obviously, just because it is Exactly My Shit in a lot of ways doesnât mean Hanako-kun is the much quested for âunproblematic faveâ, thereâs several caveats you should probs be aware of- its shoujo vibes also mean some classic shoujo ~Problematic tropes~ and a couple shounen ones.Â
THE LIST:
-Just as a general content overview thing: if this wasnât clear the show deals heavily with death, body horror and other horror aspects. Thereâs heavily implied suicide and abuse and so on- as mentioned, the main character is traumatized and shows a lot of symptoms of PTSD, and Nene has to struggle to navigate her relationship with him because of this, as does Kou.
-Hanako himself has the whole ~loveable pervert~ and ~slightly possessive shoujo bad boy~ schtick going as part of his mischevious persona. In the anime so far, he never actually gropes or comments on not-in-his-naughty-mags-peopleâs breasts or anything of that level thankfully, but heâs very flirty, clingy, will loudly bring up porn, fond of the olâ *says something that purposefully sounds sexually possessive* HAHAHA U THOUGHT I MEANT SOMETHING DIRTY RIGHT LOL ACTUALLY I DIDNâT.â
(My unnecessary âthis part is kinda interesting!â ramble: Nene always lists âsexual harassmentâ among Hanakoâs flaws (she loves listing them), but doesnât get visibly uncomfortable with his flirtiness or seem to mind it most times, which at least makes the whole thing more tolerable for me.
(since she doesnât seem to mind that part and its clear he does it bc of actual affection for her, itâs actually p. cute how huggy he is.)
 The one time it does cross the line and genuinely upset her, itâs treated seriously, Hanako is genuinely regretful and apologizes. Thatâs one of my fave moments in the story and the way itâs handled is well done.
 This incident that heâs honestly pretty socially clueless as kid who died young and a lot of his bravado is to cover that up and keep people at a distance- this is a trope into itself that can use unpacking but I do at least appreciate that this is a considered character trait thatâs part of his whole messed up package rather than something that thrown in there Just to Be a Fanservice Trope. (Especially since the manga confirms he never acted particularly pervy while alive, further cementing this is an affected persona).Â
-Thereâs a running gag around Neneâs insecurity over her thick âdaikon shapedâ ankles and boys treating her badly for it.Â
One one hand, her body image issues are relatable, on the other, it feels cruel and annoying just how much the show finds ways to bring it up and humiliate her over and over again.
(My unnecessary âthis is part is kinda interestingâ ramble:The one thing i did realize that despite bringing it up constantly, we at least have no âiâm going to do this to lose weightâ or âgo on a dietâ rhetoric,like this is just part of Neneâs body type and she knows she canât change it? Which is kinda interesting. And Iâve spotted what might be foreshadowing something plot relevantâs going to happen with her ankles (I DONâT KNOW HOW, BUT GOD I PUT NOTHING PAST THIS STORY) so uh yeah??? either way itâs not good tho)
-âObsessive and twisted loveâ is a running theme in this story, and while itâs generally acknowledged as unhealthy, it can be played for comedy in a way that could make viewers/readers uncomfortable. Thereâs a couple characters whoâs entire thing so far is âobsessively in love with this one personâ (and the one only focused on in the manga so far is one of the least interesting characters tbh ugh)
-The antagonist of the show is a member of a main characterâs family, and the manner he acts towards pretty much everyone, including (and really especially) his family member, Â verges on seductive. This is presented as deliberately unsettling and treated as a marker of how unstable and scary he is- and though the backstory between them hasnât been fully delved into, itâs pretty much all but confirmed he abused this family member physically and emotionally.
-The story has like, A LOT of queer subtext and pretty-heavy queer coding for one character especially, but the few times queerness blatantly comes up in the story, itâs played as a joke in the âhaha thatâd be kinda weirdâ way (aside from the rando boys who have a crush on Teru, handled pretty neutrally). Itâs not as malicious as a lot of animanga can get (ONE MANGA INCIDENT ASIDE), but itâs something to Be Aware Of, and it makes it clear weâre unlikely to see subtext rise to text and makes some moments feel baity.
-And probably more I might have missed! The manga also has Some Shit in addition all the Good Shit that hasnât been adapted yet, an early arc has Hanako crossing a serious line etc.Â
BUT despite how messy it is, I think itâs clear I have a lot of love for this story. In fact, I wouldnât trade away a good chunk of its messiness (DEFINITELY SOME JUST NOT ALL), it kinda works for the characters and works in the âthis story really feed my inner teenâ way. Some of the trashy parts are exactly My Trash, basically.Â
So, I knew Iâd ramble on for a while when I talked about his show, but if youâve read this far, thanks, and I hope that means youâre gonna check out and maybe enjoy this story, bc i need more people to join me in Hanako Hell.
#toilet bound hanako kun#jibaku shounen hanako kun#jibaku shonen hanako kun#winter 2020 anime#anime overview#hanako kun#nene yashiro#yashiro nene#kou minamoto#minamoto kou#yugi amane#amane yugi#my reviews
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Rose Puppetry
*saunters onto your dashboard*
sooooo who ordered the Nuts and Dolts Steampunk AU?Â
@misstrashchan
(chapter 1 of 2, bc when you get over 1k words and are still on build-up, you may as well just split the fic into two chapters - well that and I really need to tend to my other fics too, but want to share this one now)
Iâm gonna make yâall wait for that sweet sweet satisfying closure
(also, forgot to mention, this is roughly inspired by the Mechanismâs Once Upon a Time (In Space) album - do with that information whatever youâd like)
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Blinding sunlight glares into everyoneâs eyes as the drop ship ascends above the heavy cloud of pollution fog ever present over Mantle and cuts into the crisp, clear, blue sky. Â The men among them wince and shield their eyes. Â The rewired Mantle Street Soldier Units (MSSU-132s) donât react at all. Â Penny adjusts her eyesâ aperture until she can see perfectly again.
Itâs been a while since any of them have seen daylight. Â Mantleâs manufacturing plants create and maintain a thick smog that tends to absorb anything but rain too hard to be stopped. Â Atlas Primeâs bulking shadow, too, stops most any light from reaching its sister cityâs streets.
Their pilot cloaks their ship and gives Penny her cue. Â She begins emitting radio interference that should make them undetectable to Atlesian scanners. Â They fly toward the dominating stronghold in the sky. Â No one who can breath does so very loudly, as if theyâll be heard over the increasingly loud whir and whine of Primeâs great Flight Engines.
Atlas Prime, formerly just the City of Atlas, can be considered one of the greatest marvels in the world. Â An entire city in the sky, kept aloft by the largest, most powerful steam engines to ever exist. Â A century ago, its founders built Atlas as a symbol of innovation, one meant to inspire future generations to look up and dream of what they could accomplish if only they applied themselves. Â Though their aspirations and intent were genuine, those distinguished inventors failed to take into account the sheer amount of resources maintaining the City of Atlas would require as it grew.
In the beginning, historical documents claimed, Atlasâs needs led to an economic boom in Mantle, as money flowed freely from the flying city to pay for everything it took. Â Then, something (the relinquishing of the Schnee Dust Company from its founder into his son-in-lawâs hands, a handful of brave historians who no one has heard from since, claimed) changed.
Atlesians, growing content and complacent in their power, started to hoard their wealth. Â They paid less, demanded more, and drove independent, Mantle-run businesses into the ground when they refused to comply with Atlesian wishes. Â It wasnât long until Mantle became little more than a collection of mass production factories kept firmly under Atlasâs thumb after that.
The hunger of Atlas, though, is known to this day to be an insatiable beast. Â Mantle could provide it with building materials and fuel, but their shared location in bitter Solitas meant food beyond what arctic creatures could be hunted or the scarce few crops that would grow in their soil was an impossibility.
Thus, the Atlesian Conquest began.
The elderly, Mantleâs grandmothers and grandfathers, when they have a rare moment of rest, will sit and rasp out the story of the day Beta Atlas detached from Prime and flew off into the horizon in the direction of Vacuo. Â Not to return before news of the invasion into the desert kingdom filtered back to Mantleâs streets.
Beta Atlas was only the first of the Atlesian war machines. Â Since its launch, fortresses too numerous to count have been built and flown off to conquer Remnant. Â Every now and then, reports of new victories or surrenders will play on the nightly news radio broadcast.
Vacuo remains stubbornly independent, despite all the General King of Atlasâs best efforts. Â Although, itâs rumored Vacuoâs once fabled oasis have all been drained and little more of worth remains in the desert. Â Thus, without anything of too much interest to keep it, Atlasâs attention has turned elsewhere. Â
Mistral signed a treaty with Atlas as quickly as it could, and thus remains untouched by war. Â No one knows how long that will last. Â No one in Mantle believes it will. Â The people of Mistral, Mantleâs inhabitants whisper amongst themselves, are fooling themselves if they think Atlas will let anyone remain out of its complete, dominating control for long.
However, thatâs a fight for another time. Â Currently speaking, Atlasâs eye is transfixed upon Vale, where its conquest has met strong resistance. Â Despite having lesser technology available to them, the Huntsmen Army of Vale have fought Atlesian forces back again and again. Â Stories have spread about Valeâs legendary huntsmen and huntresses and their clever tactics. Â They might not be stronger or more powerful than Atlasâs robotic forces, but theyâre definitely smarter. Â Unpredictable.
For the first time in a very long time, thereâs whispers of hope that something might be able to stop Atlas.
Penny finds and clasps her hand around the gold locket she wears around her neck, without taking the trinket out from under her shirt. Â It would shimmer and shine and draw too much attention if she were to do that. Â But, holding onto it grounds her, reminds her of her mission.
Penny once believed in Atlas. Â She was built to carry out its will. Â Sent to Vale long before the first flying war fortress, and disguised as a regular, human girl. Â Her mission was to observe and spy. Â Sheâd been programmed with curiosity, to learn as much as she could. Â And she had. Â Too much, in fact.
For her entire existence up to her deployment in Vale, all Penny knew was solitude. Â Unlike the rest of Atlasâs automated army, she wasnât mass-produced. Â Penny is the singular product of blueprints uncovered in what was revealed to be the long lost workshop of Pietro Polendina, one of the last Great Minds of Atlas. Â Whereas many only saw her blueprints as the frivolity of a man who didnât live in a time of war, General King Ironwood himself had seen potential. Â Heâd ordered Pennyâs creation, given her weaponry upgrades, cared for her, kept her safe as his âsecret weapon.â Â Then, the day had come where he told her it was time to fulfill her destiny.
Sheâd been ecstatic. Â She was finally getting to go out and See The World and help bring an entire kingdom into the safety and security of Atlasâs rule, wasnât it wonderful?
It was. Â For a time.
Vale is a beautiful kingdom. Â Rich and vibrant in ways Penny never could have dreamed after only knowing a greasy, barely illuminated lab as home. Â Sheâd loved exploring. Â Finding and studying in the great libraries open to all. Â Wandering around outdoors where the sky isnât a perpetual exhaust gray, where birds sing, and where little multi-colored butterflies flutter everywhere.
It was chasing after such a butterfly that Penny had stumbled into someone and the direction of her life had forever changed. Â She learned what it was like to have a friend in the following days. Â To not constantly feel alone.
To fall in love.
Here now, in the rebellion drop ship, Penny wishes she could open her locket. Â Just so she can see Rubyâs face again. Â Sure, if everything goes well on their mission, she will see Ruby again by dayâs end.
But nothing is ever certain, especially in war.
âGet ready,â the pilot tells the rescue team. Â âWeâre arriving at the drop point.â
Penny braces herself. Â Regardless of their success probability (currently hovering at a frustrating low 67%), she will do everything she can to save Ruby.
Because she loves her dearly.
And because itâs Pennyâs fault she was captured in the first place.
#rwby#nuts and dolts#penny polendina#whirls writing#steampunk au#this is what happens when you let me listen to steampunk music y'all
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Okay so Ive been on a bit of Ă harry potter fan theory bender.
Now I'm considering an alternate version of the story that's a lot more queer.
-The youngest Weasley brother who opened the chamber of secrets in their first year (Harry's second) and was sorted into Slytherin comes out as trans and places a Fidelius charm on her deadname / the fact she isn't a cis girl (this is Ginny)
-at some point she chooses to dispel that Fidelius charm because she doesn't feel like it's genuine to hide her transness
-thus genuinely confusing some ppl when it is dispelled
-also Molly is still fiercely Molly and is totally onboard with the trans thing
-Arthur and maybe one or two of the eldest brothers try but don't quite get it, but they really do try
-Harry is bi or pan (not decided, maybe he never labels it in the series)
-Ron is straight, still
-Draco asks Ron to the yule ball in year 4
-Ron refuses because (in order) 1 it's Malfoy, 2 he asked pretty early and ron is certain he can find a girl to go with.
-the pavarti twins are both gay in this version so Harry and Ron end up going together (Ron's idea so he doesn't have to go alone but like he's not gay so it doesnt lead anywhere but harry is left wondering)
-malfoy ends up with Longbottom, because of course
-theres more clear corruption at the ministry because people bring up the fact that they should be using veritaserum and/or something like the pensieve to see the truth.
-theres more than just the book 3 use of time turners because that's such an interesting mechanic to destroy, especially since the whole 'if you go back you've already been back and any repercussions are already being felt' so you can't actually change the past
-dont forget Ginny experimenting with polyjuice to try to fight dysphoria
-oh and Cho has a different name and is less problematically written (for starters there's more diversity than just the 1 Asian kid who's in the smarty pants house)
-ron still ends up with Hermione but idk for some reason it's not weird because harry falling for a Slytherin seems so much more compelling
-plus it can't just be Malfoy BC 1 there's already a lot of that content out there and 2 putting Ginny in Slytherin just seems fitting for more than just harry marrying her. She's the outcast Weasley (as trans and as only girl and as Slytherin), the outcast Slytherin (Weasley, being the only Slytherin we as readers know of who isn't considered a bad guy at any point in the story, maybe being trans but I want that to be a non-issue tbh), has this connection to Voldy's diary which would be easier for the gang to miss if she wasn't sharing a dorm with them
-Trelawney isn't framed like such an idiot because genuinely all her prophecies (not just the ones where she goes all weird and doesn't remember them) come true (this is true in the original material but it's hard to notice)
-at first she is because she makes prediction about the Weasley sister who noone believes to exist BC Ginny hasn't come out yet but once that's a thing people start realizing Trelawny actually knows what she's doing mostly?
-Snape being at the resurrection stone thing where harry talked to Sirius and his parents and Lupin.
Also putting Fred there.
Actually maybe Snape survives somehow and thus can have a reunion with potter after the Battle of Hogwarts
-The 7 potters plan having even more potters because time turners? This is kinda shaky
-some reason why the ministry didn't or couldn't protect against polyjuice when the trio broke in
-an explanation or demonstration of why potion masters aren't constantly trying to brew like 9000 batches of liquid luck
-at least one of Dumbledore's Army become unregistered animagi (I wanna say either Ginny or Harry if not both, maybe they get more screentime together this way)
-Why was none of Harry's classmates (Hermione, who researched the crap out of Hogwarts, Ron who is like the 9474th in his direct family to come through the school) as first years aware of the sorting hat ahead of time but harry could tell his kid before he got sorted? Explanation! Fidelius charm, broken during the battle of Hogwarts.
-more talk about Muggle technology (this time Harry's first year is around 2010) and muggleborns like Hermione encouraging the use of it (instead of using ministry trackable means of communication, just send texts)
-also some demonstration of wireless tech not working properly at super magical places such as Hogwarts or the quidditch world cup or the ministry of magic, places with antimuggle charms on them. Not getting service at the Weasley's place.
-Oh and we really need some neurodiversity in there. Maybe Harry with some ADHD stuff?
-Neville definitely autistic I mean he already comes across as not doing well in school other than his special interest in herbology, despite later turning out to be a really good wizard.
-And let's give some background characters stuff too. McGonagall casting charms on a wheelchair so a student can levitate it up the staircases and get to classes
-A deaf or mute character struggling in class until they get the hang of silent casting like more powerful casters are able to
-Changing Witch and Wizard from being a gender thing to more of fields of study. Using a wand? That's wizardry. Not using a wand? Now it's witchcraft.
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