#bc bugs + Horrors

[thornsent]

HELP TWO DISABLED TRANS FREAKS START A LIFE TOGETHER

after MONTHS (literally a year in my case) of searching and fighting my girlfriend and I finally signed our lease together today!!!! we are both disabled + trans + literally have no income aside from state disability which is $200/month max, so we really need help covering some basic-ass stuff lol

pypl alumirust@gmail.com vnmo alumirust cshapp doppelgougar

we're gonna thrift all our furniture (aside from mattresses, bc bed bugs) but we still need to afford cleaning supplies and basic appliances on top of that. you all have helped us tremendously over the past few months and without y'all we wouldn't have been able to pay the down payment. I sincerely appreciate all the help so far, and I'm hoping we will be able to get back on our feet now that we have housing sorted out. we just need to get situated in our new place!

[turbo-tsundere]

Content warning for gore, blood, burns & body horror.

A king with no crown and a holy fool.

(The element of venom/poison, stabbing/puncture wounds and destruction of a whole body is present in both of their deaths. Kokichi's pristine white clothes also end up being shoved down the toilet, and the poison made it difficult for him to breathe, so there's plausible callback to Miu also. Karma at its finest?)

If I could be the devil, you could be the sinner.

(Don't mind them, they're just spilling their guts)

(...)

(Concepts for scenes from a Gonta-centric survival horror game I'll never make. But it was fun to daydream about - maybe one day I'll finish other sketches and doodles relating to it into a more presentable state. The Cat Lady OST was playing on constant repeat while I drew this - Lily of the Valley, Don't Follow the Light, String, Plainwalker, Early Winter, Storytelling, Susan's Blue Sheep (alone again) - those in particular are now stuck in my brain when I look at those drawings, and what I imagine the "game's" mood to be like, at least the opening segment.)

(I felt both heartbroken and like a monster when drawing this one... But I wanted to draw something that doesn't conveniently erase nor tuck his mangled, swollen face away from view. Sure... in game it looks goofy. But I think mockingly disfiguring him was the point in all of this, too. And given the venom, the Schmidt pain index, how it rates some wasp species, the fact that those robot wasps could be packed with anything necessary really... it had to be awful. Really, every stage of Gonta's execution was excruciating and enough to kill a person on its own, but due to his strength he likely suffered through them all. I remember begging in my head he was at least spared the flame, that he was already gone by this point... But it's foolish to pretend it definitely was the case.)

I wanted to post something new, but I was either busy, ill, or focused on something else, so another sketchdump with oldies and wips it is. This time strictly 2020-21 stuff, drawn during the first few months after finishing the game; mostly to process the post-game/Ch4 sorrows. All very emotionally raw, very edgy stuff that I felt, to be honest, too shy to show before.

Like with any wip I posted before, I do hope to finish some of them properly one day, even though I don't know when. But that's fine, I've signed up for a very long ride with the bug man. Taking it easy is the priority.

Speaking of long-term projects, maybe there's no need to, but I do want to talk about my Gonta fancomic, so here goes.

It's a bit long, so I will continue under the cut.

(Some panel teasers first! ...Gonta sanity fine.)

I took a few months long break from personal drawings - an *actual* break, not just sitting in front of a screen, tired, stewing in guilt that I'm tired, and that I can't magically muscle through burnout, or headache, or exhaustion.

My brain was stuck in a loop of berating myself for underperforming, not doing well enough, for taking so long on "mere" 27 pages, when in the past I could finish a 90-page webcomic chapter much faster. I wouldn't let myself rest, because I didn't do enough; but I couldn't do enough, because I didn't allow myself to rest. And it's been going on for months and months.

What a stupid, unconstructive thing to do to myself. I was only spiralling down, intimidating and overwhelming myself with work on the one thing I specifically wanted to keep doing out of joy, not ambition and pedantism. So I decided to just say "fuck it" and stop for a while. Like, actually stop, do something else and try to feel unapologetic about it.

So I briefly took up sewing, a creative activity I had no personal stake in, and then I started PVP-ing in DS3 (sorry if I happened to kick your butt in there. Rest assured my butt gets kicked just as much), which did wonders, too, as non-artistic pastime.

And, in the end, it seems it worked.

I finally feel this internal drive to draw again. Sadly, I can't spend all of my free time on the doujin (I might need to open commissions soon), so my pacing will still be glacial... But there was an internal change from "I have to, I have to, I must..." back to "I want to". And this is all that matters.

Still, that makes me think... while technically I don't have deadlines, the comic has taken so much longer than I thought it would - and it will take a while still. Thus, I wonder if I shouldn't change my approach re publishing it.

The initial idea was to post it all at once when it's fully finished, but I debate releasing it one page at a time instead, while it's still work in progress.

Thing is, I don't think it would be good for overall pacing. I don't want to sacrifice it, plus I can't guarantee regular uploads, esp since I don't exactly work on the pages in chronological order (While the first page is done, it was drawn after I finished a few in the middle & at the end; and there are still a few important pages/panels in first half I'm a bit too afraid of touching just yet, wanting to do them justice. This is how I work in general, jumping around rather than sticking to overly strict linear order.)

The compromise would be to post like 3-5 pages per post, making it so each upload covers a specific scene, however, same issue arises - I can't promise regular uploads. In the end it feels like a half-measure. But maybe it's a good idea, despite that impression?

There's a secret option, too - if this takes absurdly long, my plan was to just post the storyboard, after replacing some panels/pages with already finished drawings. The thing is readable as is, and long finished on that front anyway. My personal deadline for that was "right before my current lease ends", but, well… I plan on extending it anyway, and again... it's just a back-up option for when everything else fails. In the end, I just want to finish the comic, and present it how it's meant to be presented, however long it will take.

All those things considered, I'll stick to the original plan for now... and then we shall see. I simply wanted to share where things stand currently, and where they might go.

And that's it! If you've read this far, thank you. See you in the undetermined future.

[kit-screams-into-the-future]

drawing your favorite guys being silly is very effective at keeping The Horrors at bay

bonus doc from a different canvas:

[obscenicon]

YIKES!!!!!

[pavlien]

brainworm wj lupin time yippeee!!!!!!!!!!

[tetzoro]

omg hiii hi hi ! good morning & happy wednesday friendz !!!! today is a brand new day so let’s try to have a magnificent one ! i hope you find somethin to make ya smile today teehee & remember that you deserve to get the yummiest treat today ( ྀི∩˃ ᵕ ˂∩) ! ! 🤍💫

[jabberwockprince]

"i dont want you to ever be hungry" vs "im never hungry when im with you"

plus the marshmallow!!

Sirnyk ( @aa-archer42 ) / Venison ( mine! ) / Allius ( @holloska )

[thelaurenshippen]

made to love resident evil games, born to be afraid of spiders

[raintailed]

a litany of silly beasts!!!!!!! for part of funguary week 4!

A bantam slugcat (same species as the Tiny) based on the dewdrop bonnet! They were adopted by a friend.

The Spiked, a scugial based on the false blusher. It was adopted by a friend. It is extremely dangerous perfectly friendly :)

Spike!!!!! (any pronouns) Based on the octopus stinkhorn! Spike finally has a reference hooray! Spike was created by Whispers of Light to be a companion, and the rot is sourced from a naturalized strain called red rot. Red rot is very stinky so Spike is too, although Spike doesn't smell nearly as bad as wild red rot lol

Floop (they/them), based on blue corinopsis! They're a flicker who INSISTED on their plush body being super duper fluffy. Also they are based on a little plush creature I have irl (I bought it online). The creature has a tilted face, so Floop has a habit of tilting their head too :]

[swinging-stars-from-satellites]

I don't remember the character's name which feels wrong because genuinely when Keri Russell dies in Mission: Impossible 3 it's the single most sickeningly horrifying thing I've ever seen in a film in my life and it isn't even from a horror movie, it's from a big box action flick threequel

[brittlebutch]

tryingggg to decide what augustus and the changeling dress up as for halloween

[diodellet]

.

[albino-d1no]

I know Zemo HATES to see me grab a pen bc I'm gonna do some fuckshit w him.

[seventh-district]

sometimes it’s late at night and you’re cleaning your room and you come across a few old black and white photos of a young girl and you stare at them for a long minute wondering how on earth they got lost in an old Kroger shopping bag with an unopened pack of cigarettes and a receipt dated 2017.

and you look at the girl in the pictures sat on the floor of someone’s home you don’t recognize, smiling and playing with a set of keys and a tiny part of you feels like it recognizes her but you aren’t sure.

and you flip the pictures over hoping to find some sort of annotation that would give you context and all you find is the year 1964 stamped in tiny font along the edge.

and you flip them back over and time stands still as you realize that the recognition you feel is because she looks so much like you once did and next thing you know your hands are sweating and shaking and you have to sit on the floor because you’re crying so hard because it hits you all at once that you’re looking at your mother.

[saviorpilled]

MA THEY FOLLOWING ME!! THEY FOLLOWING ME!!! WHO?! WHO?! THE BUGS! the bugs?

[thevalleyoftriumph]

finally deleted an olddd old sideblog thats been like. Haunting me and it feels like an actual weight has been lifted