#bc I went to a bunch of the UK shows

[amiscreations]

You can just about see me in the Glasgow Slog! My friend always brings her Italian flag with her so this time I was easy to spot as I was right next to her! The third pic wasn't from the slog, but Ryan sent it to me a few days after the concert!💜

[realhotgirlshitah]

Chocolate and Vanilla Swirl

Jack Champion x Fem Reader

Warnings: None just teeth rotting fluff lol. Implied black reader but not too heavily.

Synopsis: Jack’s been following you on Tiktok for a while but doesn’t expect to actually meet you when Jasmine and Mason take him out clubbing to play cupid.

You loved TikTok. It was a fun and cute app where you took every given opportunity to post your thoughts and random lil videos bc you're silly like that.

Soon enough after downloading and posting for fun you built up quite large following who found you both hilarious and amusing.

Including Jack Champion.

At the time he started following you, you weren't quite sure who he was and didn't think much of it but following the release of Avatar 2 and Scream 6, you realised that this dude was... following you, like you were followed by an actual celebrity.

However you had the attention span of a bagel and were a massive scaredy-cat so you hadn't watched either movie. So, you just carried on your merry business making TikToks that people found funny and relatable and watched your following grow from there.

One thing that you didn't like about how people viewed your content was that on TikTok, the assumption was being insanely attractive and funny were mutually exclusive. You were funny, HILARIOUS even but you were also gorgeous, it's just your personality was so big it shone through.

So when you'd post a video and get comments that said stuff like:

Why's she kinda-

Hear me out

Wait why are you low-key cute

It bristled you a little, you wanted people to stop playing in your face like that.

So one evening, while getting ready to go out clubbing with your friends, you went completely against your character by posting a thirst trap. An absolutely scrumptious one.

The outfit was cute as hell. A pink miniskirt, a cream low-cut top that made your boobs pop, some cream knee high boots and some accessories to match.

"You look so fine Y/N," your bestfriend squealed before snapping a bunch of pictures. "I would honestly kill for a body like yours!"

You grinned and threw your arms around her in excitement. "I love you so much girl, thank you for letting me borrow your boots,"

"Anytime, now let's film that TikTok!"

Jack was in London doing press for the movie Scream 6. When the cast had finished for the day, they went back to the hotel together and Jack decided to chill out with Jasmine and Mason as per usual, not to do anything but just for the company.

"Dude, you're probably in here more than I am," Mason laughed causing Jasmine to chuckle in agreement.

"I'm just so bored," Jack sighed scrolling through tiktok and flopped against the bed.

"Well since we're in the UK we could always go out tonight, giving that you're legal an all- Jack?

Jack wasn't paying attention. Because that's when he saw your TikTok.

He was speechless (for once) staring at the way your plump glossed lips moved to lip sync with the attractive sound with a smirk. The way your seductive dark eyes looked up at the camera before placing it down and showing off your outfit. The way your French curl braids bounced with every step you took backwards (your hair wasn't the only thing that bounced with each step). In short, Jack was enchanted, he'd always thought you were gorgeous, as well as funny. But in your usual videos, your intention was to get your point, or lack thereof, across, to rant, to make people laugh.

However, your intention with this video was almost to seduce the person watching. You were confidently acknowledging how attractive you were and making it known.

And boy did Jack know.

"Jack? Jack? Dude, why has that sound been playing on your phone for the last 10 minutes?" Mason walked around to the bed and caught what the brunette was watching before he could hide it. "JAS, COME LOOK AT WHO JACK HAS A CRUSH ON!" The whoop of delight that simultaneously left Jasmine and Mason's ears was almighty.

"Jack! You're into Y/N? I didn't know you were down with the swirl, somebody wants to be invited to the cookout," Jasmine smirked teasingly at him as he blushed profusely. "We're mutuals on TikTok, she's literally the sweetest! If you want I can-

"No!" Jack exclaimed. He was scared. He genuinely didn't think a bad bitch like you, who was confident and brash, not to mention intimidatingly gorgeous, would want anything to do with him. Yes, there were many many girls all over the world who would throw themselves at him but he thought you were WAY out of his league, you didn't even follow him back on TikTok! "Let's just- change the topic please?"

Mason and Jas looked at each other with a knowing glance before shrugging in unison.

"Sure little bro, like I said earlier, how about we go clubbing? I know a great one nearby and you'll be able to get in since the minimum age in the UK's 18 instead of 21," Mason smiled. "If you go get ready now, we can grab a taxi and leave in five minutes?"

Jack, who was grateful for the subject change, nodded in excitement. "Yeah, that sounds like it'll be fun, I'll go get ready,"

Before he knew it, they were at a nightclub, he had a couple shots but decided he wasn't too fond of the taste and wanted to have awareness for the entire night so stopped his drinking there. However he had enough alcohol to make him even more smiley than usual and man he wanted to hit the dance floor.

"See any girls you like, Jack? Or are you still thinking about your TikTok crush?" Mason nudged him playfully earning a laugh and shove back.

"Leave him alone, Mason, he'll find what he's looking for soon enough," Jasmine smirked.

Oh. That sounded ominous.

Jack however, was too laid back to care and decided to dance a bit, so he made his way through the crowd to find space.

That. Was when it happened.

'Movie' by Megan thee Stallion was playing, and everybody who knew you knew that was your song. You also didn't have too much to drink but enough to make you clap your hands in excitement as your body buzzed to get on the dance floor with your friends. You felt hot and the song made you feel hotter. As your body moved in sync with the music, you rapped along with the lyrics, your friends hyping you up and smacking your booty, screaming about how fine you were.

They weren't the only people who thought you were fine.

Jack had just pushed his way through the crowd and immediately his eyes were on you, absolutely enthralled, shocked and terrified. Out of all the places in London he could've gone to, it was the one you were in? He turned back to glare at Mason and Jasmine who were grinning at him and putting their thumbs up, encouraging him to say something.

They knew. It was a set up, they set him up!

He felt like his feet were stuck to the ground as he watched you dance, moving like nobody was watching when in reality they were, people stared at you in jealousy and awe at such effortless beauty. Jack of course was staring with the latter.

He was about to retreat back to Mason and Jasmine when 'Killshot' by Magdalena Bay started to play, not as hype as the previous song but it was one that made you feel even sexier.

As the chorus was about to start, you turned around and made direct eye contact with Jack, his eyes widening at your gaze. You didn't recognise him immediately but it clicked after a couple of seconds since there were edits of him all over TikTok, not to mention you noticed Jasmine grinning with Mason.

You recalled the text convo you had with Jas before you left for the club.

Hey Y/N, I saw your recent and noticed on the caption it said you were going clubbing, where you off to?

Hey sis! I'm off to Kiko's, really nice club about a 10 min drive from the O2 xx

Oh cool! I'm staying at a hotel with some friends I think you'd love, our hotel's literally connected to the O2, see you there maybe?

Now girl, you know what happened the last time we went clubbing together

We'll behave, I promise!

If you turn up you better get us our own section pookie

You know I will!

I know das right!!

Then it dawned upon you that Jack was the friend and judging by the look on Jasmine's face, she had a plan. The sneaky devil.

You didn't mind though, there was no denying he was a massive cutie, tall, strong looking and very handsome but he also looked really sweet. Also, the way he was looking at you like you were the only girl in the room gave you butterflies, his eyes were so gorgeous, it was difficult to not stop and stare.

So you smiled at him, making his heart stop and his eyes widen. He was already hooked.

"I'll be back, you guys want any drinks?" You asked your friends. They all shook their heads no and continued dancing prompting you to make your way to the bar as the chorus continued to play. "One shot of tequila please,"

"Make that two shots of tequila please," You looked behind you to see none other than Jack Champion looking down at you. "Hey, I'm Jack,"

"I'm Y/N, nice to meet you Jack," you flashed him a pearly white smile, immediately making him forget himself. "I'm guessing you're here with Jas?"

"And Mason, they really wanted to take me here clubbing and now I think I know why," he grinned making you laugh.

That laugh.

Jack would literally dress up in a clown costume and do the worm in front of millions just to hear that laugh. It was like music to his ears, a drug he'd have no problem becoming addicted to.

Two shots of tequila were put in front of you along with lime and salt on a small plate, the way he looked at it dumbfounded made you giggle slightly.

"Never had a tequila shot?" You smirked.

"N- No, this is my first time going out and drinking, back at home the legal age is 21," Jack explained as heat rose to his face.

"I'll teach you if you want," you looked up at his towering frame and must have said it too quietly because he looked at you inquisitively before bending over so your lips were nearer his ear.

Girl, if you could blush...

You smiled and pulled his hand up in front of you before balling it up in a fist. Then you took a pinch full of salt and sprinkled it on his hand before doing the same for yourself.

"Lick the salt off your hand, take the shot and then suck on the lime as quickly as possible in one go," you said into his ear, which looked a bit red. You both picked up your shots and tapped the glasses before licking the salt, drinking the alcohol followed by the lime. The eye contact paired with the little smile he gave you during the mini lesson made a wave of heat wash over you and go a lil feral but he didn't need to know that.

"Oh, ooo big no no," he screwed his face up at the taste making you laugh again.

"Not the first time someone's reacted like that, maybe you're more of a beer guy?"

"Nope, I hate the taste,"

"Finally someone that gets it! Beer is just despicably vile, an abomination to beverages" you declared passionately making him smile at your voice. "What're you staring at?"

"Your accent is so incredibly cute," he looked down at you with a soft grin making your cheeks heat up again.

"I can't even imagine how many girls you must have said that to,"

"Only you, I honestly think I could listen to you speak all day,"

You smirked up at him as 'Wild Thoughts' began to play. "Wanna dance, Jack?"

"I uh uhm-

Before he even had the chance to answer, you took his hand within yours and pulled him through the crowed back onto the dance floor. As you led him through, his hand immediately found the small of your back, protecting you from the crowd, making your knees go weak. Soon, his arms were around your waist and your arms were around his neck, moving to the beat of the music.

"I love this song!" You grinned up at him.

"Me too!" He smiled. "You know... I follow you on TikTok,"

"Ah, I thought you did! Just wasn't 100% sure,"

"Well now you know,"

You gasped thinking "shit I don't follow him back"

He read your thoughts perfectly and smirked "It's okay, I'm here with you now so hopefully I can leave with something even better,"

"Oh really?" Your smirk mirrors his perfectly. "And what would that be, Mr Champion?"

"Your number plus a time and place i could take you out,"

Fuck this guy had all the makings of the perfect heartbreaker.

Once again, your heart rate increased at both his words and smile, that fucking smile.

"Depends. How many dates have you gotten since you've arrived in London?" He laughed again at your words.

"The only women I've properly spoken to since getting to London are you and Jas,"

You hummed thoughtfully, knowing that he was telling the truth, but not wanting to make your feelings too obvious. Jack felt like his heart was going to explode with the way you kept your dark eyes on his, a small smile tugging on your lips as he leaned in closer.

You were dangerous. And he was loving it.

He smiled softly at you, his thumb gently caressing your waist and bottom lip tucked under his teeth.

"You're so perfect, you're so so unbelievably perfect," he whispered, absolutely enamoured by you.

You grinned back, lightly twirling his curls at the back of his head with your fingers as he leaned in closer before making eye contact with Jas. She raised a brow at you and nodded towards the stairs, making you quickly catch on.

"Come with me," you smile against his ear making him go red as you tug him back through the crowd and up the stairs. Immediately the two of you are in a more private section of the club, guarded by two bouncers who let you through. The interior was very expensive looking and while you could see everything that was going on down where everyone else was dancing, it was a lot more private, with only you two occupying the room.

"Where are we-

"Private section of the club, Jas really hooked us up," you laughed. "Now I can actually hear you without having to lip read,"

The words coming out of your mouth however, fell upon deaf ears. Jack still couldn't get over how gorgeous you were, and still trying to understand how much time you were spending together without you thinking he was a waste of your time. His gaze was on you and nothing but you, thinking of you and just wanting to spend the moment with... you.

"Jack? Earth to Jack?" His eyes snapped back to yours, finally showing that he was paying attention. Immediately his arm found your waist again and he gently pulled you in, maintaining his gaze on yours. The tension was so thick you could cut it with a knife. Yes, the music was still thumping and causing the room to vibrate but it was like the two of you were floating away on a cloud, lost in each others eyes.

"Y/N... I'd really, really like to take you out on a date," Jack confessed, gently caressing your cheek as your eyes widened. "I mean I've actually been wanting to for a while but I thought you would probably be way too cool and think I'm too boring or you'd want someone better but I really would love to get to know you mor-

"Jack," you laughed adoringly at his nervous rambling  before placing a hand on the back of his head, getting on your tiptoes and pulling him in for a kiss.

And what a kiss it was.

Time felt like it had stopped for the curly headed brunette as your lips moved in synch perfectly. He felt his heart melt as you leaned more into him, nibbling his bottom lip lightly. It was perfect, you were perfect.

And in that moment, Jack knew that he wanted to spend every moment of his existence making you aware of how perfect you were to him.

"Jack Champion I'd love nothing more,"

A/N: My gawd he’s so cutie patootie pookie. Also side note: I saw a tiktok comment talking about how it makes perfect sense Jack is the “We rocking with Mark bc Mark is rocking with us” of the friend group and I in fact have not been the same since, it actually inspired this storyline lol.

[james-a-b]

W!

!!!!! getting one ask for this game surprised me tbh, two is incredible and you need to know that if i were a golden retriever i would be wagging my tail SO fast

anyway, they've done a fair number of things that have surprised and delighted me, but my favourite is and always will be the moment they broke out in song during TATINOF.

To provide some context there- at the time, youtubers doing a show the way Dan and Phil did was absolutely UNHEARD of. No one had ever done anything like it before, and no one really knew what to expect. The show I saw was in Seattle, near the end of the US leg of the tour, but Dan and Phil had asked everyone to avoid spoiling the show for others, and I'd managed to avoid any spoilers that WERE out there pretty much entirely. I went in blind.

That day was the best day of my life. Not solely because I was seeing TATINOF; Seattle is my favourite city and we went on the underground tour and ate a pizza that was almost bigger than our table and went to the pop culture museum, where they had a Dalek and a Cyberman and a bunch of other really cool movie/show props, but seeing Dan and Phil was definitely the highlight of the day.

I'd been depressed for almost a decade and actively suicidal for going on six years at that point, but when I first discovered Dan and Phil in the fall of 2015, I realized for the first time that the way I was feeling and had been feeling wasn't just a natural part of growing up. They seemed so alive and so so happy in a way I'd never seen from an adult before, and it gave me hope that maybe I could feel that way again, too. So they meant and still mean a great deal to me. They saved my life.

TATINOF had just begun touring the UK when I started watching, and then in early 2016 they announced they were coming to America. Now, I'm Canadian, and I was living in Kelowna, BC, so I was understandably disappointed when the nearest show was in Phoenix, Arizona, too far to travel to. But then, a month later, they announced more dates, and Seattle was among them. So I begged my parents to get me to Seattle for the show.

Mom bought my ticket, and Dad arranged a Seattle trip. Mom offered to buy me a VIP ticket, by the way, but I thought about it and then decided I'd rather have a regular ticket in part because I was such a new fan and in part because the thought of standing in front of them and being seen made me want to spontaneously combust. (I did get a VIP ticket to II, and then I ended up spending the first half of the show hyperventilating bc I got too excited/overwhelmed lmao)

I remember specifically choosing a balcony seat because while I knew Dan didn't enjoy audience participation from an audience perspective, I wanted to play it safe. Just in case. And Dan did make some jokes about asking for audience participation, so I'm actually glad I did. My heart could barely handle things as is!

The show was... indescribable. I'd taken art to submit to crafty corner, and while it wasn't chosen, I was absolutely beside myself just knowing they'd seen it. And during the show, they took things so much farther than anyone ever expected them to, with the suggestive themes of the fanfiction part (brokeback montain references?? only one tent??? this was YEARS before they came out, mind, and they'd NEVER really leaned into or encouraged that sort of thing before) and then Dil being revealed as the entity causing everything, and then, on top of literally every amazing incredible thing they'd already done in the show, they started SINGING??

We knew they did little songs for things like baking videos, but that was a FAR cry from performing onstage, and they were hardly professional singers, so a musical number was absolutely the last thing I expected to actually happen. I absolutely screamed myself hoarse during the course of that show, as did most everyone else in that theatre, but I don't think I've ever screamed so loud as I did when they started singing.

So... yeah. That's my answer.

(ask game here)

[introvertedlass]

You are honestly the most reasonable blog on here (that believes in PR). Some of the others I've seen used to be respectable but now are veering scarily/dangerously towards Qanon, which is a shame, bc it's discrediting a lot of good blogs who understand PR in HW is hardly an abnormality.

PR stunts/relationships are supposed to make the audience confused as to whether or not it's real or not. That's kind of the point.

Back in 2020, I remember seeing Ana De Armas and Ben pop up and for months, I went back and forth wondering about them. On the one hand, they were doing pap walks daily and annoying literally everyone with how seemingly out of touch they were (not staying inside, not wearing their masks correctly, just being extra all around), but it just went on, and she kept getting involved in things with him, and she showed up places with him and I honestly just wondered if "she was the new one" after his divorce with Jen Garner. Then they broke up and I look back thinking, oh yeah, that was a stunt that lasted too long.

I don't follow Sebastian or Henry's careers/lives, but I did follow a Tumblr blog that posted daily about their relationships. Sebastian's thing also gave me Ana/Ben vibes bc at times I was like, is this real? Then it felt fake with all the pap walks. But then every time the blog would post more updates about "sightings" from DM - and there would actually be candids of him/her at a park or walking somewhere (blurry from the back). I think Celeb-as-fuck was the blog detailing everything because she was a fan of him, but anyways, they had a lot of tracking on this and everyone was riled up EVERYTIME something would happen. It also seemed to last on and on and they didn't appear to be breaking up, so I was like, hmm. Maybe it is real. They eventually broke up so it's not a big deal anymore, but their relationship, as many ppl have said, at times very much reminds me of this CE/AB situation.

On the flip side, CE/Lily James def felt like a one-and-done PR stunt but what was weird was him appearing in the UK a month after and seemingly being near her, and there was some hotel that followed them both at the same time and that got real weird. We all know how that ended so it seemed like it was just a fluke situation. Though, NGL, I remember thinking: "If Henry/Sebastian/Ben Affleck are in these relationships, I wonder how long it'll be before it happens to Chris Evans?"

I REALLY regret thinking that LOL...but I did wonder. I just had a feeling it was going to happen to him as well bc he was the ultimate internet BF for so long, and perpetually single to the public. I had weird thoughts that celebs were going too off the rails during peak COVID for it to just be a bunch of privileged ppl acting out of touch. Something was in the water and it wasn't just COVID-19. The industry was floundering and they needed to make some huge commotions to stay relevant.

Again, none of this really matters. But I really stand by my thoughts that in HW, nothing is really what it seems. And I DO think that celebs will go as far to PR engagement and marriage (RE: Kim K and Kris Humphries) if they need to prove a point. I know some other blogs on here keep spouting out that stuff doesn't happen anymore, but I'm not terribly convinced that these charades can't still happen. I do also believe that celebs can be in a PR relationship/marriage while having secret/private lives BTS. Anything is sadly possible in this industry, which is exactly why you continue to hear celebs go on podcasts, write memoirs, even do-tell 2020 style interviews where they all mention, "This industry" in cryptic ways. They're all alluding to the shit that goes on but they can't necessarily say it out loud. But you know if they could, they would.

I've always thought his interaction with Lily was to be his PR rs. That sighting with them was around the same time as Seb and Ale.

Also, thank you for kind words. I try to be level-headed by I certainly have my moments, too and have to rein myself in.

[falcqns]

Hii i have this request in mind like Chris Evans x Actress! Singer! Reader like the reader and chris dated for 3y idk but they broke up but the reader always visit chris’ family bc she treated them like family aswell specialy when the reader’s parents died so she spend Christmas there or any occasions bc chris’ family invite her and when chris got a new gf the reader is kinda hurt bc she still love chris but she try to look like she doesn’t care but then she released her new song its called deja vu (by olivia rodrigo) and she release it to her bday so when the song is released the fans knew its abt chris bc of the new gf (chris’ fam doesn’t like the new gf and the fans kinda didn’t support them bc of the girl’s attitude) and chris’ family invites her over bc they want to show the reader something and when the reader got there they surprise her for her bday and congratulate her and turns out chris is there too with his new gf🤨and the reader knew chris’ new gf hated her bc of her look and scott called you all to the living room and watch the mv of the reader’s new song and when the mv ends scott and the fam congratuleted the reader and chris’ gf is giving the reader looks again and chris is noticing it and when the reader is in the kitchen alone getting something chris talk to her and congratulate her and chris’ new gf wrapped her arms around chris and chris tried to stop her to make a scene but she started a scene and scream at the reader but the reader cut her off and embarrassing her and the reader prove the new gf shes first not her (idk if that make sense lol) and the new gf leave(idk you can make her a random name so its not only “new gf”) and the reader and chris talk and they got back together, you can do wha you want at the end this is just so random bc i was listening to deja vu and advance thank you if you do my request! Stay safe! ❤️ and im so sorry if this is so long

Deja Vu

pairing: Chris Evans x singer!reader

warnings: parents death, major angst, fluff. 

a/n: thank you for the request! Hope you enjoy!

You had known Chris since college, when you had met him in your communications class. You two had grown close quickly, and became best friends. 

He brought you home every Christmas Eve, before you would go home to your parents house on Christmas Day. You had always felt like a part of the family, so when your parents passed a way, you turned to him. 

You and your parents were driving home from a Christmas Day church service, when you were hit by a semi truck. It had completely totalled the car, and your parents had died on impact. You had been sitting in the back, and only had a broken leg from where your moms seat had been pushed back into it roughly. 

You had been pulled from the car and sat in a second ambulance, while your parents were transported in another. You knew you'd never forget watching that ambulance door close and drive away, knowing that was the last time you'd ever see them. 

When the police officers asked if there was anyone you could call, you didn't know what to do. Your parents were both only children, so you had no aunts, uncles or cousins. You were an only child too, so you had no siblings, and your grandparents had passed when you were little, your other ones passing before you were born. 

So when the officer asked you, you told him the Evans’ phone number. Lisa picked up on the second ring, and you tearfully explained what had happened as the shock wore off. She immediately said she’d meet you at the hospital, and not to worry, that she and Bob would take care of you. 

You were taken to the hospital and treated for your broken leg. Less than an hour after you arrived, Lisa arrived at the hospital with Chris in tow. They comforted you, and took you home with them. You stayed in Chris’s room for the first few days, and when you were given your own room, you still had a hard time sleeping alone, so Chris ended up in your bed with you most nights, not that he minded. 

You never went back to college, and instead turned to singing as a release from all the pain you were feeling. You started out posting covers on YouTube, and gradually progressed to getting a record deal with Interscope Records, which didn't surprise anyone who knew you. You had immense talent, and your parents used to tell you that they were counting down the days before you were a celebrity. 

When Chris graduated college and told you he was moving to Los Angeles, he convinced you to come with him. Prices were high in LA, and he didn't want to be separated from you for too long, so you joined him. He got to be an actor, and you got to be a singer, which is what you both had wanted since you were younger. 

You went to every one of Chris’s movie premieres, and he attended as many of your live shows as he could. You supported him through all his relationships and his breakups, and played the middle man whenever he and Jenny would fight, up until the very end. You told yourself you did that because you just wanted what's best for him, but you both kind of knew that wasn't the reason at all. 

Throughout your time living together, you friendship grew, as did your feelings for each other. You'd be lying if you didn't have a small crush on him in college, and those feelings only grew as time went on, especially since the two of you decided to only get a one bedroom apartment. Mainly because it was cheap, but also because Chris made a decision a week after your parents death to never allow you to sleep alone because of the nightmares that would occur if he wasn't there.

So, when you won your first award for your first album, named ‘hand in hand’, he kissed you the second you came off the stage with your award in hand. It blew your mind that he felt the same, but you were happy nonetheless. You two began dating that night, and everything was perfect. 

Until, you were invited by 5 Seconds of Summer to be their opening act on their newest tour. You had agreed, and Chris let you go. You two had been dating for over 3 years, and you thought your relationship would be fine. 

You quickly realized however that that wasn't the case, when the two of you started fighting less than two weeks into the tour. The fights weren't anything major, more petty things like ‘did you change the Netflix password’ or ‘why did you take this piece of clothing, that was mine and it was my favourite.’ All around stupid fights. 

You had turned to Calum, who you were closest with, and he consoled you as much as you could. You realized however, that you couldn't be with Chris anymore when he drunk called you in the middle of the night while you were in the UK and got angry with you when you answered and told him to call you back in the morning when he was sober, to which he proceeded to brag that he slept with his co star at the time, Jessica Alba, you freaked out and ended things. 

You got a message from Jessica on instagram the next day letting you know that they did not sleep together, and that she was sorry he even said it. You assured her it was fine, and felt relief.

Relief because you got to the bottom of the situation, but also relief from your relationship. You didn't know what happened in those few weeks, but you knew the relationship was turning toxic, and you wanted to stop it before that happened. Neither you or Chris needed that. You told him you’d find a new place to live, and by the time tour ended, you bought yourself a house in Beverly Hills, and moved out of the apartment.

Chris moved out not long after, and bought his own house. He had tried to stay friends with you, but you didn't want that at that point in time. You were still hurting, and needed time to heal. 

Once you felt ready to date again, you were asked to be Calum’s date to the Peoples Choice Awards, you accepted. You knew Chris would be there, and you were hoping to talk to him, and maybe work it out. He had told you during the break up that he would always wait for you to come back, and that he still loved you, and always would. 

But you knew that wasn't the case when he showed up on the red carpet, with a new actress named Myra Woodfield. You had smiled at him, while trying not to break down inside, but he gave you a dirty look and rolled his eyes at you when Calum wrapped his arm around your waist for a picture. You furrowed your eye brows and took a good look at Myra. 

She looked almost exactly like you. Same build, same hair colour, same eye colour. The only difference is that she was slightly taller than you. You didn't know why he was replacing you, but it hurt. You pushed it out of your head however, and enjoyed the night with your best friend. 

It was a few months later when you were awoken by the constant dinging of your phone. You unlocked it, and saw you had a lot of unread messages from Luke, Ashton, Michael, Calum, and your other best friend Ashe about Chris’s new movie trailer, you sighed. 

You watched the trailer, and sighed when it looked like a recreation of a bunch of moments in your relationship with him, only Myra was in your place. 

Your fans and some of Chris’s had commented on it, and Myra immediately became aggressive with them, and insulted them. She told them that you were a nobody who could make Chris happy, which she was glad about because she made him happy how. 

Within minutes of this happening the hashtag #cancelmyrawoodfield was trending on twitter. You shamelessly went through the tweets and like and retweeted a couple. Then an idea popped in your head.

With a quick google search, you had a plan. 

You had written a new song called Deja Vu after the peoples choice awards, and it was had been recorded a few weeks ago, and you just had to decide on a date to release it, and make a decision on the music video. Her birthday was in about 3 months, which gave you enough time to get everything in place to drop on her birthday. 

Was it evil? Yes. Did you care? Not really. Besides, you inherited your pettiness from your mother and you knew she’d be proud of you. You called your manager and label, and got it planned out. 

When the new music video had been announced, Lisa called you and invited you home to watch it premiere with the family. You accepted, knowing Chris and Myra would be there, and that her birthday would get overshadowed by the release of your music video.

So, three weeks later, you were sitting with Lisa, Bob, Carly, Shanna, Scott, Chris and Myra in Lisa’s living room, waiting for the video to premiere.

Scott had picked you up at the airport earlier in the morning along with Carly and Shanna, and the four of you had a laugh about the face that no one acknowledged Myra’s birthday, not even Chris. It was mean, but no one liked her. 

Lisa absolutely hated her, but didn't want to upset Chris, so you got a call shortly after the PCA’s from her and the two of you ranted about her for a good two hours. 

You watched as the timer counted down from 10, and then the screen turned black. You took a deep breath and watched Chris out of the corner of your eye. 

You had searched for a while for a guy who looked similar to Chris, and you stumbled on Andrew Siwicki. He didn't look exactly like Chris, but it was close enough that everyone would know who the song was about if they didn't already. Andrew was a fan of Chris and hated Myra too, so he was more than glad to help you out. 

The music began to play, and you watched as the black screen faded in on two people walking along the beach, holding hands. 

“Car rides to Malibu Strawberry ice cream One spoon for two And trading jackets Laughing 'bout how small it looks on you,”

The next scene was a recreation of yours and Chris’s first date where you two had a picnic on the beach, and ended up splashing each other with the ocean water. Towards the end, everyone watched as Andrew picked you up and threw you into the water the same way Chris always did. 

You glanced at him, and could have burst into laughter at how uncomfortable Chris looked, but more importantly how angry Myra looked. 

“Watching reruns of Glee Being annoying Singing in harmony I bet she's bragging To all her friends, saying you're so unique, hmm,”

The next scene was you and Andrew (who was dressed as Ransom) on what appeared to be a recreation of the Knives Out set, running around with a dog that looked like Dodger chasing after you, the two of you laughing. The next shot was the two of you kissing behind a trailer, seemingly hiding from production. 

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was our place, I found it first I made the jokes you tell to her when she's with you,”

The next scene was the two of you driving through Southern California, in a car that was almost identical to Chris’s. You two were laughing and singing along to the song, your hair whipping around you.

You took a deep breath, knowing this next scene would piss him right off.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? (Ah), hmm Do you get déjà vu, huh?”

This scene was you, along with the rest of Chris’s family sitting around a living room that looked like the one you were in now, a Christmas tree full of presents in the corner. The camera panned across everyone as everyone was talking and settled on you and Andrew and the two of you recreated the scene where Chris whispered in your ear how much he loved you, and couldn't wait to start a family with you. 

“Do you call her Almost say my name? 'Cause let's be honest We kinda do sound the same,”

The screen showed you and Andrew saying goodbye at the airport, with 5 Seconds of Summer standing behind you. They weren't actually there when you left for tour, but Luke suggested it to piss Chris off, and you had agreed. 

Then there was a small montage of clips from tour, including a shot of Michael elbow dropping Ashton into a pool, which made everyone laugh, except Chris and Myra. The montage was followed up by you sitting on the floor of a dressing room and crying as you sent a text that said “I’m done.”

“Another actress I hate to think that I was just your type,”

Now you were on the red carpet, with Calum right beside you. You both were wearing the same clothes you wore on that night, you hair and makeup recreated perfectly. The camera unfocused on you as you turned and looked at Andrew and an actress named Alexa Morrison, who looked a lot like Myra, and they were recreating Chris and Myra’s actions perfectly. The camera swivelled around and came to rest pointing towards your face, as you looked in shock, and a single tear fell down your face. 

“I'll bet that she knows Billy Joel 'Cause you played her Uptown Girl You're singing it together,”

You were shown watching a movie trailer with Ashe sitting next to you, while you sobbed at what Alexa and Andrew were doing. You looked at the camera and began singing the song, while Ashe and everything else around you was frozen.

“Now I bet you even tell her How you love her In between the chorus and the verse (ooh) (I love you),”

You were sat on the bed in Chris’s red flannel that you had stolen before leaving for tour, and you were writing in the notebook aggressively with tears rolling down your face and singing.

“So when you gonna tell her That we did that too? She thinks it's special But it's all reused That was the show we talked about Played you the song she's singing now when she's with you,”

You were now being shown sitting on the couch, and watching Andrew run across the TV screen dressed as Captain America, an ice cream tub in your hand. You were wearing sweats and a t shirt, your hair in a messy bun.

“Do you get déjà vu when she's with you? Do you get déjà vu? Oh Do you get déjà vu?”

The camera circled around you before transitioning to the next scene. 

“Strawberry ice cream in Malibu Don't act like we didn't do that shit too You're trading jackets like we used to do (Yeah, everything is all reused),”

You were shown laying down in bed, and your eyes closing before an image of you and Andrew danced, dressed as Steve and Peggy in endgame, a scene Chris always told you the two of you would recreate one day. You had called Hayley and asked if it was okay, and she immediately said yes, and even came and watched you do the scene.

“Play her piano, but she doesn't know (oh, oh) That I was the one who taught you Billy Joel (oh) A different girl now, but there's nothing new (I know you get déjà vu),”

When your eyes opened, you were sitting at your piano, and playing while singing along. 

“I know you get déjà vu I know you get déjà vu,”

Suddenly, the piano disappeared, and you were left standing in an empty living room as the screen faded to black. 

The entire room burst into cheers as the video ended, except for Myra, who looked like she was going to murder you, and Chris who just clapped with a tight lipped smile. 

Later that night after all the kids had gone to bed and Lisa was driving Bob home,  Scott had pulled you into the kitchen under the pretences of ‘helping him fix a drink’, which ended up just being the two of you gossiping about Chris and Myra, and the music video.

Suddenly, Chris walked in, and nodded for Scott to leave. You cleared your throat and ignored him.

“That was a good song, and an amazing music video.” He said. “I can see you're just getting more and more talented as time-” He began, as you rolled your eyes, and looked at him. 

“What do you want?” You asked bluntly. 

“I just wanted to congratulate you.” He said, and you were about to open your mouth, when Myra came slinking in the room with an evil look on her face. 

“Nice job, Y/N. I’m glad I could inspire your music video.” She said sarcastically, and you could tell Chris was about to defend you, but you opened your mouth first. 

“Well, I’m glad I had such a snake like bitch to draw inspiration from,” You said, and heard Scott, his siblings burst into laughter in the living room. Myra’s jaw dropped and she turned to look at him. You looked up at Chris, who was leaning up against the counter, and biting back a smile.

“You’re just going to let her talk to me like that?” She asked, and Chris sighed.

“Myra, don't start. Not now.” He said, she scoffed. 

“I knew you still loved her. Only a pathetic loser could love someone as ugly and untalented as her.” She spat, and Chris growled. You felt tears welling up in your eyes, and you ran out of the room, your drink abandoned on the counter. 

You ran into your bedroom, where you shut the door, and fell onto the bed in tears. 

Back in the kitchen, Chris had gotten in Myra’s face, and was yelling.

“DON’T YOU DARE TALK TO HER LIKE THAT! SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH SHIT IN HER LIFE, AND I WON’T ALLOW YOU TO ADD TO THAT!” He screamed, as Scott, Carly, and Shanna ran to the door, unsure of what to do. “SHE IS SO TALENTED, WAY MORE TALENTED THAN YOU! YOU’RE THE REASON PRODUCTION TOOK SO DAMN LONG, IT TOOK FOREVER TO GET A PERFORMANCE OUT OF YOU! YOU OPENLY INSULTED HER AND HER FANS HOURS AFTER YOU WERE ANNOUNCED TO BE IN THIS MOVIE, AND THEN HAD THE AUDACITY TO COME TO ME CRYING BECAUSE YOUR LITTLE FEELINGS GOT HURT!” He screamed, and Shanna ran and backed Chris away from her. 

“YOU’RE MY BOYFRIEND! AND ITS MY BIRTHDAY, YET HERE YOU ARE, CONGRATULATING HER FOR A SHITTY MUSIC VIDEO!” Myra screamed, and it was Scott’s turn to get in her face. 

“You need to leave. If you don't we’re going to call the cops.” He stated, and Myra rolled her eyes before storming out of the house. 

Scott turned back to Chris, and was shocked when he saw him in tears. 

“You need to work shit out with Y/N. It’s clear the two of you are still in love, and you need to figure it out as adults,” Scott said, his sisters nodding. Chris took a deep breath, and looked at your closed bedroom door.

Chris walked up to your bedroom door, and took a deep breath before entering the room where he used to sleep in every night.

He opened the door, and saw you curled up in a ball on the bed, your body still shaking. He smiled sadly, and walked into the room, closing the door behind him. He sat on the bed behind you, and rubbed your back gently. 

“I’m sorry. Not just for what Myra said, but for everything. For breaking your heart, and for causing you so much pain. I didn't realize how much I was missing you too until we watched that music video and I saw how truly broken you were. I never noticed that before now. And I’m sorry I didn't. If I’d have, I could have fixed this sooner, and we could be together right now.” He said.

You furrowed your brows at his last sentence and sat up.

“W-What?” You asked, and Chris moved closer. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you into a hug. 

“I still love you. So so much.” He smiled, and a tear rolled down his face. “You're my entire world, and not having you here is slowly breaking me apart. I didn't know just how much until today, but I can't live another day without you.” He said. “I’m so sorry I hurt you baby.” He sobbed, and his head buried itself into your hair. Your body shook with sobs too, and you turned around to face him.

“I love you too.” You sobbed out. “I never should have ended things, but-” You said, but were cut off by Chris’s lips on yours, and you felt yourself melting into it.

He pulled away a few seconds later. “Don't. It was my fault, not yours. I am so sorry, and I am going to spend the rest of my life making up for it, I promise.” He said, as he stood the two of you up and led you out of the room, and to his.

“Where are we going?” You asked, and Chris pressed a kiss to your cheek.

“I have to grab something.” He said. He opened his closet, and grabbed something out of the top corner before turning to you. 

“I said I planned on spending the rest of my life making it up to you, and I plan on keeping that promise.” He said, as he got down on one knee. You gasped, as he opened the box and your dream engagement ring was inside. “I want you for the rest of my life, and the next. Will you marry me?” he asked, tears pouring down his face, just like yours.

You nodded enthusiastically, and Chris stood up. He placed the ring on your ring finger and scooped you up. “I love you,” You choked out, and Chris sobbed harder into you. 

“I love you too, and I’m never letting you go.”

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[heyitsyn]

Nekoma!Manager!Male!Reader

a/n: never written male reader before but this was a funny request and i really do see the irony in this

anon request:  

absolutely LOVED your seijoh hcs! you said you wanted to do the other schools so i thought, how about nekoma but with a MALE manager bc it would be so ironic to have a male god as their manager rather than a goddess that they always talked about!! thank youuuuuuu!!!!!!!

yall the nekoma fanchant is literally stuck in my head

hehe uwu lets step on the pedal

ong jesus take the wheel pls

so basically,,,

being the nekoma manager is a MESS

lets say youre a second year and was only the manager bc you were begged into taking the job

like wouldnt leave you alone and pestered you 25/8, screaming about needing their own god manager

also just because, you are fairly popular and you have your own fanclub of girls in nekoma and they thought it would give them more exposure and more chances w girls :’)

tora was actually the first who came up to you and begged you to be their manager during class one day bc they are in need of one but they arent allowed to have a girl manager so he turned to having a handsome male

‘I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY IT HAS TO BE A BOY’

‘so you wont be all over him abd be distracted w showing off’

‘WHO ARE YOU TO QUESTION MY SE-’

‘tora, please’

initially, you refused bc you just couldnt be bothered to be part of a club where you basically babysit a bunch of overgrown children

but kenma, your childhood friend, was the team’s last attempt to get you in since kuroo mentioned that he was the only one you listened to

‘kenma, babie, i love you, but i am your friend, not your nanny. so unless i am paid, i will not waste my time taking care of of all of you. especially that chicken head’

‘y/n, yaku is on his last leg here. we really need a manager and we need it fast’

‘you went for years without one so why do you need it?’

‘we’re scared that nekomata would just drop dead any minute now’

‘yanno? im surprised hes even still alive with yall’

‘....... ill show your fangirls that picture of you when we were 5 when-’

‘okay, kenma. rude about the blackmail but okay. dont expect me to be the maid or anything’

nope, you were actually the maid

and the cook

and the nanny

and the laundry person

the everything

it baffles you that kuroo is about to graduate next year yet he still doesnt know the difference between fabric softener and detergent

the amount of times you sent him to pick up more and only to send him back when he ended up buying 2 softeners or 2 detergents

‘they all look the same!’

‘kuroo tetsuro cAN yOu NoT rEAd?!’

ngl i still mix them up sometimes

during matches, youre basically their mother, their nanny, and nekomata’s notetaker, and their personal cheerleader

naoi, the other coach guy, and coach nekomata has adopted you as a son bc of how hard you work and the less the burden is on them

like your notes about their playing percentages really works and helps them and added with the chores you do for the team?

godsend

also, lets put your popularity in here

you dress with a white shirt and zip up your red nekoma jacket with your red sweatpants so you look like one of the players, right?

but how come every time they have practice, youre the only one with the fangirls in the bleachers?

youre literally wearing the same thing as them yet youre the only one who gets looked at?!

even kuroo, who was quite good looking, doesnt have that many girls pining after him yet you, resident anti-tryhard, seems to get the female population to fall for you just by doing the simplest things like breathing

youd be doing normal things like using your whistle as you hold a clipboard and girls would be screeching at you 

‘omg m/n is so hot!’

‘hes just !!!! uuggghhhh’

‘siri how to be a whistle?’

i am uncomfortable with the energy we have created in the gym today

tora complains about it all the time bc first, they cant have a beautiful manager, two, they have a pretty boy who’s taking the attention away

‘SO NOT FAIR! M/N, TURN UGLY!’

you bonk him on the head in anger and threaten to quit all the time

‘say that again and you’ll be filling your own water bottles tomorrow’

but in truth though, the guys really do appreciate you and everything you do

they know that you balance them with your personal life and classes and still make time to do their laundry and make them food

so they have started easing off the burden and weight off of your shoulders

at first, you were very suspicious when they told you that they already filled their water bottles

‘huh? i didnt think you even knew where the water fountain was’

‘wym weve been doing this for years’

-kuroo

then, you heard kuroo tell the others to put their sweaty jerseys in the basket in the corner of the room and for the last person to carry it to the laundromat

‘um, sir, we dont want to have another pink jersey disaster again’

you stopped inuoka from lugging the basket but he shook his head and gave you a wide grin

‘nope, m/n-senpai! i’ll carry it for you! i’m strong, see?’

he flexed his right arm muscle while holding the basket with one hand but it was too heavy so it fell to the ground, spilling out all the practice jerseys

you sighed before bending down to pick them up and babie inuoka’s eyes watered, thinking you were mad at him

‘gomen, senpai’

he whispered but you looked up at him from your position

his watery eyes made you frantically stand up and wipe his tears with the pads of your thumbs

‘inu-kun, why are you crying? you said you were strong right? dont cry over silly things, okay?’

he nodded and you were still confused as to why he was so emotional but you patted his fluffy hair 

‘now cmon, lets go take these to the shop’

unbeknownst to you, the team was actually seething from behind the wall

naturally, as a,,, manager,, you became their,,, energy?? 

like the slightest affections from you made their health bar increase tenfold and they didnt necessarily have any intentions towards you

you were like,,, their own,,,, happy drug?? like a human seratonin??

just the fact that they had someone like you to fall back on and give them love when they lost or something

it was comforting

usually it was just the team’s responsibility to throw away their own sadness and comfort each other

but with you,,,

they could easily cry with no fear and you would comfort them until they didnt need to be comforted anymore

eventually, they ended up straight out competing against each other on who would get the most affection

clearly, inuoka used his first year card and everyone knew you were soft for your kouhais

like you would just grab them and hug them because of how cute they were

uwu especially lev?! 

he may be a giant but hes just a really REALLY REALLY BIG CAT

;)

LEV LIVES TO HUG YOU

like the mans is beanstalk level of height and despite the age difference, he just picks you up and cuddles you and youre just like ‘okay, let it out babie’

DKSFJSLD ANYWAYS

you are always a hot topic w all the students in nekoma and even some in other schools

like during training camp, bro you making everyone question their sexuality

omg akaashi and you are probably the prettiest people there and can i just say how everyone cant focus on a practice match bc youd be laughing together or something and they havent heard anything so beautiful??

and the kitties get really defensive over you and hiss at anyone who even tries to approach you

hiss hiss

DKJFSLKDFJDWHAT IF EVERYONE IN THE TEAM IS BI

OMG WHAT

like the little touches from you make them so red and confident gays like kuroo and bokuto call you out on them and tease you 

while the quiet ones like akaashi and kenma are just blushing and stutter and you tease them instead?

*inhale* BOI *exhale*

the uke and seme dynamic is real on this one

however, there are times when the turned tables

there was that one day that you were seriously questioning if bokuto wore leggings or just really high knee pads and you cornered him after baths to just figure it out

like our poor confident boi turned to a shy babie and shrunk against the wall, covering his red face

‘y-y/n-kun’

‘bo-san, i just want to know’

DKFSJLKDFJFJSDKIM DYING OVER HERE LIKE PLEASE I DONT OWN Y/N

after seeing the smidge of skin at the top of the kneepad, you nodded and brushed your fingertips over the flesh

‘hmm~ so i was right~’

FROM THEN ON POOR BABIE OWL COULDNT LOOK AT YOU THE SAME!!!!!!

it worried everyone so much when bokuto would glance at you in the sidelines and he would competely miss akaashi’s set bc his eyes would focus on you rather than the ball

like he absolutely couldnt take his eyes off of you and when you do turn to meet his eyes, he shrinks back and looks away, completely missing your amused smirk

now, your kitties werent happy about that

theyre very protective of you and they felt that this owl could snatch you right up and fly away

and kuroo, being the captain and the head of the familia, took it upon himself and dragged you to the back of the gym while the others were practicing

kurat pushed you against the wall and basically kabedonned you

KUROO IS LIKE 6′2 OR 190 CM I CANT

‘you seem close with bokuto, l/n. almost, too,, close’

an amused smirk etched itself on your lips and you pressed a hand on his chest

‘oya~? captain-san, am i being punished?’

SFDKLFSJKLDFJL SIR Y/N IS SUPPOSED TO RADIATE SEME ENERGY BUT HE ISNT AND I CANNOT-

ofc he was taken aback by your flirty attitude but he smirked and softly brushed away your bangs that slightly covered your eyes

‘hmm~~ depends, y/n-kun. are you going to be a good kitty and stay with the clowder? or are you going to stay with those pesky chickens~?’

DKFLSJDKFJSL BRO DID YOU KNOW A GROUP OF CATS IS CALLED A CLOWDER?! I DIDNT EVEN KNOW THAT BUT I HAVE A FEELING KUROO WOULD HAVE KNOWN THAT BC HE BIG BRAIN

you chuckled and gently wrapped your arms around his shoulders

but your hand grabbed the hair at the back of his head and harshly pulled him to be closer to you

your eyes blinked innocently but your sharp teeth were shown from your malicious grin

‘ive always been a bad kitty, captain. so i dont care what you say because you cant tell me what to do~’

👀👀👀👀

imagine what happens next bc i cant write something unholy

anyways

so you learned that tetsu CAN in fact tell you what to do and you avoided everyone else which caused them to wonder but one look at your neck

well,,,,,

you got attacked by a cat 

a cat named tetsu

SKDFLJSDKFJSLKUROO IS THE ONLY SEME YOU CLASH WITH

THE OTHERS ARE ALL UKE

EVEN BEEFY BUFF CAKE BOI BO

but you toned it down to not be attacked again

ngl the whole team was all jealous and they even whined to kuroo about it

‘thats not fair!!!!’

‘stop abusing your role as captain!!!!’

they hated the fact that kuroo got you first so they all rally over to keep you away from him

like baby kenma would nudge you over and bring him to sit next to you, saying he needs you to help him with a certain level

‘kenny, im not sure how to play this game’

‘hmm,,,, youre a quick learner, y/n, and youre really quick with your fingers so you could pass to the next level’

*insert lenny face*

‘oya? and you would know how, kenny?’

and baby kenny would fluster a little before glomping to your side and burying his face into your shoulder to hide away

OR

the first years would absolutely use their kouhai priviledges and bring you over to help them with ‘homework’

‘you guys realize i passed because kuroo would beat me into studying right?’

‘but senpai! you mustve learned a thing or two in your classes!’

‘bold of you to assume i was even awake in my classes’

but they still make you spend hours trying to help them which turn into just messing around 

KSDLFJSDKFJD MOVIE NIGHTS YOU GUYS THATS IT!!

there isnt really a single calm moment in your guys’ practice

poor you have already started seeing lot of gray hairs

you literally decline every single confession just because youre too busy for a date and you cant handle having to take care of another person

its like youre dating the whole team!!

soon the entire school have just accepted the fact that you are just simply not in the market anymore just because you joined the club

not because youre actually taken by a girlfriend but youre taken by a bunch of teenage males

imagine how that works out

anyways

youre not really the best volleyball player out there but you know a thing or two

well,,, its more like your stamina doesnt allow you to play long bc a single lap literally destroys your lungs

but you still know when yaku complains about having a shaky receive

‘oh, momo-senpai, youre bending your knees too low so gravity is pushing down on your-’

ugh chemistry i hate it

despite your lack of athletic or physical skills, they still appreciate you for your keen eyes, your caring nature, and your overall looks that give them motivation to play harder to impress you personality :)

all the boys love you

and tbh

you love your boys too

even though it was a blackmail caused event,

you still would’ve joined otherwise

this is kinda short but its going to be longer if i find some plots or somebody asks for a plotline that i can write about for a long time

anyways

byeeeee :)))))

a/n: this isnt exactly the best manager one ive written but ill probably find a good prompt for this or again as stated ^^ someone sends in an ask for it and ill write a story for our favorite male manager :’D

[manchesterau]

my thoughts after reading my policeman: SPOILERSS of course!! (ignore spelling or grammar mistakes) (this is very ramble-y and not as in depth as it could have been sorrryyy lol, if you want specifics send me an ask after reading this)

okay...so i read the book in 3 days....which....im very proud of myself bc it takes me so long to finish books but that’s not why you are reading this.

im not going to lie to you...i liked the book. i love angst, and this had plenty of it and i liked it. if you like books such as: harry potter, six of crows, red queen, red white and royal blue you will not like this book. i know many people found it boring, which yeah i can see that, but i didn't find it boring at all. but mostly because i love boring books but that's beside the point. 

the book flowed easily, there isn't a bunch of raunchy sex scenes that ive seen people say it has (i...the things ive read idk what book they even read????) and Tom does has backward views on marriage and what it means to be a wife. but he is not overtly sexist or misogynist or abusive, or subvertly those things either. to be frank he's a scared gay man in the 50s trying to not get caught and thrown in jail. that's literally it. (ill go more into detail on him later). but if you want to read this book i recommend you go in knowing that there will be homophobia (the word queer is used as a slur....3 times or 4 but no more than 5), expect outing, expect not supportive characters, and remember to have some compassion (more on this later).

next i want to go into characters: starting with tom, then Marion, then Patrick, and then the other characters. so if you are planning on reading this book or just dont want to be spoiled them....don't read the next bit.

Tom:

I'm going to get this out of the way.........Tom (who we never get to know outside of the two-point of views we are presented with, and who is being played by Harry) is a police officer in the 50s UK. to be frank when the rumors first went around I was mad like a lot of people were, which is funny because when we got those pictures of harry reading the book before all the speculation we were....happy, that he was reading a book about a gay man. now...I don't care honestly. I could call out the hypocrites (i won't) and honestly I'm hypocritical myself. I use to watch shows like svu (if you were to turn it on right now I wouldn't turn it off) and I enjoyed watching svu. I know and have seen a lot of mutuals, people on my dash enjoy cop shows like b99, or who like actors who have played the character of police before. so it would be hypocritical of me to be mad at him (this is just my single black opinion) and then go and turn on svu (which I don't do anymore). 

I'm not saying that no one can be mad, I'm not saying that the anger people have at him playing this role is bad or not needed or valid. all I'm saying is.....is that I don't care. I got angry over this months ago, and all that anger I felt I don't have anymore, and I can't tell you why. Harry is playing an abusive demented husband who traps his wife in a simulation, and then he will play a gay policeman trying not to face persecution..........and that's that. nothing I can say will reach him, he's playing these roles and there is nothing I can do. will I watch them (pirating of course) yes.

anyways let's get back to tom's character (do not use my opinion to silence other black people I will find you....don't do that shit weirdo): tom is......tom?? like I literally was expecting the worst when I read this because of what other people had to say. but as I'm reading him through the eyes of Marion (his wife) and through the eyes of Patrick (his...true love, fuck the 50s I hate the 50s) one word came to mind constantly: scared. Tom is very scared that he will be found out and his life will be ruined. His family knows about him, which is why I think his father (more on him later) pushed him to be in the national service (where he was a cook, which disappointed him). you don't realize his family knows and then his sister says something and then you go 'wait....THEY KNEW???' and then you will go 'oh so that's why-' 

tom does have old fashion views that you would expect of any man at that time (gay or not it's the 50s and gay men are still capable of saying sexist shit). when asked by Patrick if women should still work after having a kid he said no it's the men's job to provide, Marion said she would like to keep working, he said no when they do have a baby (they literally never did, and idk why he thought he could be intimate with her for that long to produce a baby lol). that's....the most sexist thing he said in the whole book (there maybe some small things im forgetting but nothing that really stood out). that's it. I know it's not small and that was a legitimate issue in the 50s but yeah. Just in case you were apprehensive about Tom's character being a raging woman-hater, no,....he just wasn't a true feminist yet (???? I don't know that's like..the most this book says about an issue women were facing at this time). It's still bad what he said (you'll see how Marion justifies it in the book and both Patrick and her don't agree and try and challenge him on his view).

i dont want to go too in depth but it is very obvious from the beginning he has no and i mean ZEROOOO interest in her at all (you can tell when it hits him that he needs a wife and he starts to act a littleee different but it's not romantic at alll). 

i feel like my review on tom is shit but like!! we don't really get to know him without bias from Patrick and Marion. I think Harry will play a wonderful Tom (even tho he doesn't not fit the description for Tom...at all....like at alllll).

To summarize Tom: very scared gay man from the 50s who is trying to do everything he can to not be found out. his family knows, even he knew at a young age, and yes he does quit being a police officer but it doesn't happen as soon as id like but then again he wasn't one for that long if you pay attention to the years.

Marion:

😑 

i just...if yall could see the notes i made on her.....

To summarize Marion: SHE IS LIVING IN LALA LAND, TOM LITERALLY SHOWS HER NO ROMANTIC INTEREST AT ALLL, AND WHEN SHE METS PATRICK FOR THE FIRST TIME SHE FREAKING NOTICES THAT HE'S ALL BLUSH-Y AND SHIT LIKE...GIRL.....

this is a note i wrote that sums up her and tom's relationship (which is more like friends then anything romantic i mean god their honeymoon was horrible and he proposed to her....nvm 😑)

listen...i can't lie and say i didn't feel sorry for her up until the end when she (spoilers: she outs patrick to his employer which ends up with him getting arrested). after that...ive never hated a character more in my fucking LIFEEEE like oh my god i was pissed

all she does is have fantasies about him being romantic with her (holding hands, hugging, etc) and none of them come true...BECAUSE HES GAYYYYYY i really....the author could have done a better job because there were so many damn red flags.

she's fucking annoying and whiny and yeah it sucked to be a woman in the 50s but you literally outed someone your husband was in love with and thought that you could just go back to being married like he's not devastated and instead of telling what you did you stayed unhappy and made your husband thing that at any point they were coming for him too.......*****

Patrick:

PATRICKKKKK

Patrick and tom deserved a fighting fucking chance i hate the fuck 50s fuck you 50s!!!! I absolutely LOVEDDD his pov and seeing Tom through his pov like it was just so damn refreshing seeing the world through his eyes and how he navigates his queerness in the society they live in. (the dichotomy between a proud gay man and a scared maybe proud but fear overrules that (talking about Tom here) gay man).

There was a lot more to say on how gay men were being persecuted at this time than how women were treated in this particular book. There were some little things here and there about what was expected of Marion as a wife and of a girl/woman at that time but it wasn't the focus.

I loved seeing the way Patrick navigated through his world of art and creativity. And how Tom seemed to fit right in with him.

I hate the things the author made Patrick go through (outed, sent to prison, stripped of his job, and later on in the present day he has had 2 strokes in his 70s). it felt a bit much but it's not too distracting (Patricks pov takes place in the past as he writes in his journal). 

Patrick and Julia (more on her later) are my two favorites in the whole book (Tom is third bc he's a very multi-facted character, Marion is not even on the list) and I wish we got a lot more of Patrick's pov.

Other characters!! (speed round bc this is wayyy too long):

Syvlie (Tom's sister): SYVLIEEE IM MAD AT YOUU I WAS ROOTING FOR YOU WHYY WHYYY

Julia: JULIAAAAA QUEEENNN (you'll see why i love her at the end) 

Tom's parents: his father is abusive point-blank. or at least i think he's abusive (verbally). as im writing this i am now realizing that the way Tom's mom reacts to him (sometimes crying) is bc they knew he was gay omg wow.

tom's dad is very much a man's man guy?? Picture a sexist man from the 50s....now picture him with a gay son.....yeah, I'm not surprised Tom went into national service then to the police force. you can tell he didn't want anyone to find out about Tom so he pushed him to do what he thought best and Tom went with it, scared. 

overall: please do not go into this book expected things to be all flowers and rainbows...this is a book about two gay men in the 50s yall.....

there is something to be said about the tragedy that is in a lot of queer stories, I'm more interested in how white these stories are (that's a rant for another time). but I don't mind my policeman, and i think stories like this should be told. because this actually happened (here is a link to em forster's story where the author takes inspiration from, he really had an affair with a policeman!!! who had a wife!!!).

the ending is bittersweet, and i couldn't help but curse for what could have been. Marion could have not outed Patrick (which she instantly regretted), she could have gotten a divorce (she even contemplated it), they could have been more secretive, Julia could have not said what she said. I think Patrick and Tom were sadly doomed from the start, I just wish they had more time together because I loved seeing their love (the little glimpse we got) bloom into something bigger than them.

thank you for reading!! here are random screenshots of my notes as i read this lol enjoy!!

can’t*

[1ddotdhq]

🖼 Wed 30 Sept ‘20🤹‍♀️

Remember when I was telling everyone that the Eroda video deserved better? Well someone was listening! Both Adore You (!!!) and Falling have been nominated for the best pop video in the UK Music Video Awards. Harry has also been nominated for the Billboard Chart Achievement award *which is a fan voted award* and voting starts tomorrow, October 1st. You know what to do! In the world of Rock n’ Roll, Stevie Nicks has a new interview out with the LA Times, where she talked, among other things, about wanting to make a movie about “the mythological Celtic deity Rhiannon” - hey, she’s already written a song about it - AND she has finally signed a deal with a studio to make it! This isn’t a Fleetwood Mac blog, I can hear you saying, and you’re RIGHT BUT - she named Harry as her dream cast!! She tells him: “Harry, you cannot age one day. You have to stay exactly as you are.” For you, Stevie, I’m sure he would find a way to do it! She also said that she was “very proud” of him for choosing to be a “rock n’ roll star and not a popstar”. I’m not sure that the Music Award judging panels agree with you there, but we’re all very proud of him regardless of what category his music *technically* fits in. 

Liam’s Esquire interview is out! I have….mixed opinions on it. The article’s narrative was that Liam is a happy man, whose joy shines through his music, and who is inherently confident despite some early childhood setbacks (bullying and illness and deciding to stop running). Liam, for his part, said about his life and his outlook on his future, ““I never expect much, I move within the limitations which I consider useful to find new possibilities. I think it’s important to be aware of what you’re able to accomplish in life, without expecting miracles. Just keep your eyes wide open to enjoy everything in the best way possible”. He says, elsewhere, about meditation that: “It seems to be an amazing way to stay in control. Having a clear mind helps you be quicker and more precise in your daily actions and decisions.” He’s started meditating...for control. Interesting. I don't think that was quite the picture Esquire was trying to paint. 

And, even more interestingly, when talking about his music, Esquire said, “Although it is difficult not to compare the album to those of other members of the band.” and then they quote him in saying, ““When I was in school, I didn’t focus very well in certain classes, I would always learn the general terms of how everything worked,” Payne says on his aptitude for creativity over technical quality.” I’m really trying to give them the benefit of the doubt here, but this feels really backhanded. The kind of music that Liam is doing is inherently - and purposefully - different than the kind of music, say, Niall is doing. They did not talk much about the new direction (ha) his music may be going in, nor about what he’s been working on, career wise. They did call him handsome, and seemed really focused on his physique, which. Yeah! That’s a choice! 

 On a more hopeful note, he says, “Drawing and painting are incredible practices. Exploring those gives me a level of concentration so focused that, if it weren’t for music, I’d probably be doing that…both [art and music] are incredibly freeing to me. Recently, it’s how I’ve kept myself grounded in this new, parallel reality.”

Speaking of Rock n’ Roll, Rock n’ Roll Bride published an article about Krystal (Louis’ makeup artist)’s Rock n’ Roll themed wedding (which took place in 2019! No COVID guidelines broken!) -  complete with pictures of Louis! Well, first off, happy anniversary Krystal and Mike, who have been married for over a year now. BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY: we have two pictures of Louis - one at a table, where he seems to be sitting with Oli, Helene, and another woman. Eleanor features in the picture, but after some consideration, it does seem that there was not a place at the table set for her, so she went over to take a picture. You know, as you do at a work function! There was another picture of Louis clapping for the bride and groom at their send off. He’s standing with his hip jutted out in a grey suit with a plain white T-shirt underneath it (I don’t think he has more tattoos, but his eyes are still blue lol). Anyways he looks great and I adore him. 

And now, a brief clown car update: the property broker that Briana started following the other day was Nick’s father, who in turn started following a bunch of Briana and Freddie stans (bc that’s such a normal thing to do!). Nick seems to be going on a lot of 2 on 1 dates with Briana and Freddie over this last week after being called out for not interacting with Freddie at all. To make up for it, he’s been posting to his Instagram nonstop outings, including one video where Freddie seems to be saying, “is Daddy not coming?”. Briana, for her part, ignores him completely and keeps walking, and Nick moves the camera to show the shops they’re passing. Man, for this kid’s sake, I really hope Brett DID join the outing so that SOMEONE was looking out for him, because those two certainly weren’t! 

Meanwhile, Niall took to his Instagram story to promote James Bay’s new song. 

[janiedean]

I came from a country where being gay is not illegal but still very badly seen so what Eric did to me came off as spoiled and privileged. Nigerian men risk their lives every time they try to live and he just comes on a holiday risk for nothing and get a high out of it like... I get he is a poc in uk so racism but he is still privileged in respect to Nigerian living there and it felt like when tourists do all they want and use foreign countries as a eat pray love playground for adrenaline and Deep Moments

thanks for having partially confirmed to me one thing i didn’t quite know how to articulate and again i don’t… right with the premise that ofc not being poc and/or lgbt myself so my opinion is worth what it’s worth i felt like not only it made eric come off as privileged and not quite realizing it - or if it was the target then it wasn’t well written nor did it come across well - the points that imvho are not well put in this entire narrative are the following

let’s say one target was ‘we want eric to reconnect with the nigerian part of his heritage and realize that being gay in the uk is a privileged position in comparison to being gay in nigeria’: there is a single moment where he feels unsafe on the car but then he goes into the bar and it was played as… like THRILLING WILL WE GET CAUGHT OR NOT but i didn’t perceive that he felt in danger or like he realized exactly what he was facing

the whole family reconnection part was like… his mom lied about her husband bc family peace and kind of forces him to not be out bc she fears for his safety so like now unless i remember wrong eric has been out/never felt like he didn’t have to be since the show started so it should have a) given him insight re how it feels to NOT being able to be out b) let his mom connect with him on having to lie abt your significant other part c) concluded with at least a hint he could come out to nigerian family and like… point b) was more or less explored, c) was hinted bc he talked to his grandma abt adam but a) felt ABSOLUTELY missing because he comes back and everything he seems to gather from it is I WANT TO GO TO BARS BECAUSE I CAN? and most of all……. going through a) should have made him more sympathetic to adam’s struggles and instead it seemed like he deduced ‘oh since in nigeria it’s illegal then it makes no sense he’s taking so much time’ like…? it’s… a pretty self centered take to get out of this entire experience and if it was a check your privilege storyline then good but… it didn’t feel like that was how they framed honestly and why talking abt adam to the grandma if he’s gonna dump him???? 

now the eat pray love thing you mentioned is… i mean i felt like it was along those lines but as stated couldn’t be sure re my take but again my issue is with how they went at it, bc you CAN do that narrative if you clearly frame it as ‘we like eric and he’s a swell guy but he’s not free from that kinda behavior in light of the fact that living in the uk gives him automatic privilege wrt being out so we’re going to explore how he deals with it and it might be badly but then he learns from it and checks his privilege’ like it’s smth that can happen and everyone in this show has been shitty wrt smth at some point which is good bc it means everyone is written realistically… i’m not sure the narrative said THAT but it didn’t look like even the writers knew bc it was all over the place?? and i mean… i get that this show has realistic teenagers which means they can behave like petty assholes but like it was rushed, badly explained, not overt re wtf they wanted to do with this storyline and it’s not clear if eric even cares at the end?? and thats ooc anyway bc the eric we saw until this point isn’t… that callous or dismissive? and it never seemed to me like they wanted to write him as positive char that progressively gets less sympayhetic so honestly this entire plotline looks stupid

like the thing is at the end of it: - has eric reconnected to his nigerian heritage/found a way to balance it with his uk background? doesn’t seem to me like he did - has eric concluded anything re telling the nigerian side of his family that he’s out? no - has eric gained some actual insight from his experience that’s not ‘I want to go to bars because I can and I have no patience for someone who needs to take it slower’? doesn’t seem to me like he did - has eric realized that adam not being ready to tell his own mom stuff was a sort of parallel situation to his own mother not being ready to tell her mom stuff and like... if eric’s own mom lied about her partner to her family for years and still wasn’t ready to do it then why is giving adam a bit more time to tell his own mom especially given his less than stellar background re accepting himself and coming out such a hardship? no and we just don’t know basically this entire plotline could have gone a bunch of different places that were interesting/could have caused strong conflict/interesting storytelling but it didn’t do any of these things and fell back on like... cheap drama for the sake of it and honestly idt it was very sensitive wrt anything included in it which honestly strikes me as odd bc if sex ed ever did one thing right was treating sensitive subjects well without dancing around it or making things sugarcoated and still letting the characters not be cardboards so I’m very very perplexed about it and I just hope they plan to reveal wtf they wanted it to be next year because honestly I don’t know what it wanted to be and if they didn’t make it clear it’s not good writing - which until now they had in spades, therefore....

like, there’s nothing... narratively wrong in ‘I want to show that character X who faces racism and homophobia in the UK would have privilege wrt being able to be out/live his sexuality without shame in the UK and not in the country his family comes from and he has no idea because he hasn’t entertained that thought and he might come off as unpleasant or incapable of immediately getting it while that happens’, but the thing is that in this specific narrative it’s not clear whether eric got it or if he didn’t bc teenagers are shallow and don’t get it (which..... I mean the teens in this show aren’t exactly shallow like that so that doesn’t really hold up) or if he’s having trouble processing it or if the trip shook his entire world (didn’t seem like it) so like... I should hope next season it’s addressed what they want this thing to be because honestly idk and I don’t particularly like the direction it took

this adding that anyway again the way they broke eric and adam off like that makes the whole S2 finale look sour and eric come off like an asshole also wrt rahim because I mean, one thing is ‘eric has been in love with adam/has liked adam best all along but adam wasn’t around and he liked rahim so he gave it a shot but rahim wasn’t it for him so when adam does the great love gesture for him in front of everyone he decides to leave rahim for him’ because like that sucked for rahim anyway but it also wouldn’t have been fair to him to not break it off if eric had stronger feelings for someone else (and that was clear from the get-go) and then when they get together eric puts effort in it and they go places, one thing is ‘all of that happens but then the moment they aren’t on the exact same page and/or eric realizes he doesn’t want to put the necessary effort into respecting the time adam needs to handle his things even when adam forgives him and says he’ll try to get on track with him’ and so the solution is nah let’s break up instead of putting some work into it when ngl adam has been doing 85% of that this season................. it makes him look like the moment there’s an obstacle to a relationship he’s in or his partner isn’t on the same wavelength he’d just rather break it off first instead of giving it a go and that’s not a really great look on him and as stated it makes the thing with rahim look really bad because again one thing is leaving someone you like for someone who feels like is the love of your life and another thing is leaving someone you like for someone who loves you that much but then you’ll leave them too because..... he needs time to talk to his mother and he’s not ready to be fully out when he comes from repressingyourfeelingsinternalizedhomobiphobia central? like........ dunno but it just feels sour and like nothing one would expect out of eric as he was written/developed until now so I’mma just wait to see what they do next season but it’s just not good writing all around

[kaimactrash]

I must make an admission of guilt: I am a fake Jamie Hewlett fan, cuz some how, I only discovered he designed a sexy roller skating girl in  '99 now??? Well, i obv had to draw her.And bc I'm a lonely ho, ofc I had to draw her, skating, and doing a transition to face the veiwer and give them a wink.Here's the woman we only know as "The Roller Cola Girl" a short lived mascot for Virgin Cola within the UK in the late 90s and early 2000s. She's very flirty and every instance of her includes inuendo, which is wild, but makes sense with her creator. Virgin Cola comissioned the design from Jamie and used it in a few animations, he made a hand full of illustrations of her, as well as, I believe, he worked on the first animated ad with her, but maybe not the second? Lemme know if thats wrong! here's the ads featuring here: [1] [2] So she's my latest bunny girl for this years jam! Her bunny suit is a once piece, it's just printed to look like her main outfit, I hope that shows, tried to avoid givign anything pritned internal lines.forgive me for cheating on her skates and making both her feet side on, but this is much better than how it looked when I tried it in a more 3D angle. This likely looks....worse than my usual stuff. This is my first piece in CSP and I'm very much still getting used to it, lemme knowif oyu have any tips or tricks, I'm still learning the short cuts for things. going from Ctrl+z to Ctrl+e for erasing is the hardest, E is so far up on the keyboard and I have tiny hands.   I have one more bunny planned, just hopefully I'll get to her in time, another fanart piece, and I'm gonna try to kinda blend the origonal art style with mine a bit! but it all depends on inspiration and art block. I vanished for a bit cuz a family memeber got real sick and went to the hospital, which stressed me out a bunch and killed my artistic motivation. ThankFUCK! they're doing okay and have been discharged now. Hope ya'll are in good health!

[luvoli]

[ jade thirlwall,cisfemale, she/her,magenta] hey have you seen OLIVIA PATTERSON ? SHE let me borrow HER LUCKY HD HELMET. oh, you know them! they’re 25 and they’ve been at Roy G. for 5 YEARS. They are known to be a total LEO. i’m surprised you haven’t heard them blaring LIVIDI SUI GOMITI BY MANESKIN all night. they remind me of WINE GLASSES WITH RED LIPSTICK STAINS, WORN OUT DOC MARTENS, BASS RIFFS ECHOING THROUGH THE APARTMENT. anyway, let me know if you see them ! (moon, 24, she/her,gmt).

ayoo this is moon and i’m about to introduce my lil child aka olivia. i’m going to try to be very concise about this. she’ll probably be the first one without some trauma :’)

full name: olivia elizabeth patterson. nicknames: oli; liv age: 25 birthday: august 16th sign: leo gender: cisfemale pronouns: she/her sexuality: bisexual hometown: manchester, uk occupation: radio dj pets: bowie (a chow chow dog) hobbies: playing bass and drums; reading lit classics; baking; driving her harley davidson, partying.

BACKGROUND.

olivia was put up for adoption when she was a few months old after her teen biological parents decided they couldn’t raise her alone,

fortunately,olivia was adopted months later by a sweet couple. her mother, a music engineer for one of the biggest record labels in the uk and her father, an english professor;

love and money were never in short for little olivia so she grew up surrounded by the finest things but also by a bunch of love and affection from her family.

she developed a big fascination towards the music industry by shadowing her mother whenever she went to work so it came to no surprise that she ended up following a career related to music;

even though she can sing and play a whole bunch of instruments (but she prefers bass and drums), she preferred to use her communications degree in radio.

she moved to the us, 5 years ago after she was offered an internship at a very known radio station and now she proudly hosts one of the most popular shows. 

she absolutely loves this job as it allows her to introduce people to new music but also blast some of the best songs from the past. she is also fortunate enough to cover the biggest music events and hang out with all the artists.

this made her popularity increase massively online.

MISC.

her fav method of transportation is her vintage harley davidson, which she named floyd;

she likes to have her way and she will probably tell a little white lie or two to get there;

she loves to party and you can find her in the best parties in town with a drink in her hand;

she is a massive flirt and she loves hooking up with people bc she’s lowkey afraid of commitment

ughh i cant think of more, this is basically olivia in a nutshell. 

just hmu if you’d like to plot with this bby.

[somecunttookmyurl]

gonna need you to elaborate on those 'famous people you've met' tags, queen. like what. what is your life.

god sorry this has probably been here all day but i’ve been belting out chicago songs all morning (the musical not the band) @scimmymunkeh can verify that my life, especially from like 2009-2014 (before i moved to scotland) was like. so weird.

in my misspent youth i travelled around the UK and europe seeing The Horrors just like. so many times. they were cheap enough to follow around on tour and i like travelling so that’s what i did. and i’m sufficiently not weird (lmao, i know right) as a person that i got to know them decently well (mostly rhys, tbf) so a some of it happened from that. side note - this actually gained me an honest to god real life stalker from tumblr who also lived in london and would like... see me out at the weekend and then send me anons about what i was doing? very weird time. anyway.

alex turner & miles kane - would go to cave club (a night ran primarily by rhys monthly) sometimes and because i am, again, not A Weirdo i’d be chilling with them. mostly miles, bc alex is pretty shy actually. but for some reason i truly do not know like don’t ask i have no idea every time miles and i got drunk we’d make plans to... buy... a pig? and raise it together? i think we were going to call it penny or peggy or something idk. quite what our plans were for co-parenting a FUCKING PIG in LONDON when we didn’t even live together were but. we really wanted to get a pig for some reason. technically i’ve also met alexa chung (this was WAY BACK when she was still dating alex) but she was deeply sus of any woman in his vicinity so just. left that one alone.

peaches geldof - was dating/later married a guy called thomas who was in a band called S.C.U.M. that rhys’ little brother was in. due to them being around all the time (also they were good listen to them) thomas and i knew each other. we weren’t friends or anything - mostly i was pals with sammy seven - but knew each other to talk to each other. something peaches apparently had a massive problem with because every time she saw me she’d shoot daggers at me across the room like oh my GOD i cannot express enough that i’m not interested in tom. chill. anyway she’s dead now.

i forgot about bobby gilespie (primal scream) and lou hayter (new young pony club) who also used to hang out at the cave.

adam ant - the first time i met him was at a 60s night. like literally an event called ‘le beat bespoke’. he was just... there? for some reason? i dunno. had a drink and a smoke with him. nice man. LITERALLY 2 weeks later on my actual 20th birthday i was at a night called ‘stay beautiful’ which was a heavily-manics-inspired regular event ran by music journalist simon price... adam ant turned up and did a ranom guerilla performance. which??? anyway he recognised me and we hung out for a bit again. he was VERY manic and off his meds at the time (adam ant is bipolar). invited me back to his hotel, nudge nudge wink, but uh. did not do that. as funny as “i boned adam ant once” would be as a story in my life............... no. dude’s old enough to be my dad. haven’t seen him since, just weird that it happened twice so close together in a city of 9 million people.

damon albarn - there was a very bizarre period of maybe 3-4 months where every time i went out i bumped into damon. like literally. every event i attended he was there. again, city of 9 million people, and we lived on opposite sides of it. permanently drunk, and asked me for a lighter every single time he saw me even though (at the time) i wasn’t smoking. at one point i bumped into him at waterloo train station like “okay that’s it i have to leave the city. i can never go outside again. this is getting fucking weird”. haven’t seen him since, either. on a related note i’ve met paul simeon as well.

richard oakes (suede) - saw suede a bunch of times and as one of the few people who love and appreciate richard oakes i always spoke to him and he was really excited about it and would remember the smallest details. had a backstage pass to a show in paris once. richard also has a side project called artmagic that i’ve seen and no matter how many years pass, he still recognises me and will run over like an excited puppy. met his parents twice, who are lovely people.

simon gilbert (suede) - similar but less dramatic, but will add fans on personal facebook if he’s seen you often enough bc he’s a lovely guy.

obviously i’ve also hung out with the rest of suede but didn’t interact with them as much. it’s mostly me x richard brotp 4eva.

sean patrick flanery (actor, boondock saints/mongolian death worm) - i made a joke about his hair being stuck in the 90s on twitter once and he’s followed me ever since which is at this point LITERALLY YEARS i really don’t understand.

[marleneoftheopera]

I was wondering why they don't cast older actors to play the Phantom? By older I mean like 40s that's the age I think Erik is in the book. One of the reasons I love the original is bc the actors had these unique characteristics, very much like in Lenoux's Phantom. Everything now seems so generic.

There have definitely been a lot of older Phantom’s! Some in their 40′s or 50′s. Some were in their 40′s when cast, and then finished in their 50′s. To name a few:

Robert Guillaume, 63(ish)

Flemming Enevold: 57

Sandor Sasvari: 57

Hugh Panaro, around 35 during his first run in 1999, 37-38 for his second, about 40 for the third, and 50 when he played his final show

Peter Karrie, around 45 when he began in London and about 55 when he did his final show

Brent Barrett, 51

Preben Kristensen, 56

Brad Little, about 32 when he first started and 50 when he finished

Michael Crawford: about 44 in 1986 and 49 when he finished

Howard McGillin: about 46 when he started and 56 when he finished

Ted Keegan, about 38 when he first began in 1999, and about 59 now (he is still an u/s on Broadway)

And there are definitely more. But I will say that I notice that while the description will say 30-40′s, there is a tendecny in recent years to cast younger Phantom’s. As the leads at least. There were definitely younger Phantom’s back in the day, but it seemed like there were a few more that were understudies versus principals. Nowadays, it seems like late 20′s is possible, but 30′s is the average. I understand why, the role is vocally and physically challenging, and some actors in their 40-50′s might not want to go through all of that night after night. Not all, but some. Also, there has always been this sort of charm or ‘sexiness’ surrounded around the ALW Phantom. And I think in recent years with people like Ramin, we have seen a shift in them casting younger, more ‘attractive’ Phantom’s. Even though half their face is covered for the entire show.

But I don’t necessarily think that age equals how unique or good a performance is. Sure, being older means the actor likely has more experience that they can apply to the role, but a good actor who auditioned and was cast in a role should be able to do it well no matter if they are 28 or 38. And if we look at the Phantom, he is an outcast of society, who faces rejection and heartbreak. Granted most people aren’t outcasted the way the Phantom was, but a lot of people at some point feel left out and get their heartbroken. Especially in your teenage years and 20′s. So theoretically, a Phantom u/s of 29 might have the same personal experience as some who is 40. If they are a good actor and the creatives thought they could do the role justice, then they probably can. 

Now on the subject of the generic, that might not entirely be all on the actor. I have definitely seen older and younger Phantom’s give amazing performances and throw in some unique things to make the role more their own. Ted Keegan and Jonathan Roxmouth for example. But Broadway and the US tend to have more of a mold that they want their actors to follow, whereas the UK, World Tours, foreign productions will give them more freedom. So the same person might be more static on Broadway, but then throw in a bunch of new things if they went to London or Brazil. I figure the US does that for a few reasons: it being the productions Hal would see the most, consistency, audience expectations, etc. So sometimes an actor is a bit more restricted and it makes them seem generic, sometimes it’s an off day, sometimes you just get someone who has been there a while and seems bored (Kyle Barisich). And honestly it’s not always a bad thing because even with the actors following more of a mold that means you’ll likely always see either a solid or great show, whereas in other places that cast more outside the box and give more freedom you might get a really great show or a bad one. But I don’t think age is the big factor there.

[sirsapling]

MORE TAGGED POSTS

I got tagged in a bunch more things I didn't respond to fast enough, so UNDER THE CUT THEY GO. 

I have too many things to respond to, so I won't be tagging, but consider yourself tagged if you want to do any.

IT’S THE LITTLE THINGS

Tagged by the wonderful @bardingbeedle​

Pass the happy!🌻🌿 When you receive this, list 5 things that make you happy and send this to 10 of the last people in your notifications!

Lying in warm blankets in an cold room. Bonus points for snow outside.

A fresh Buzz cut

Talking to @bardingbeedle​

Having long, passionate rambles about the Marvel Ultimates

Hashbrowns, bacon, maple syrup, maybe a pancake, and a sausage too.

Tagged by the chaotic @s-hylor​

top 3 cities you want to visit: Toronto, again. Colorado (I know its a state not a city I just want to visit ashes AND GET SNOW). And I would like to go back to Italy again. (I also want to visit, just, all of my fandom friends but I don't want to drop all their locations lol)

favorite marvel character: Ults!Steve Rogers and then Ults!Tony Stark. Not counting stony, Anthony the brain tumor, and not counting clones, Gregory Stark.

white chocolate - yay or nay?: Love it, love it, love it.

favourite board game: God Save The Queens- A board game about Bees I invented with 3 other people at University last year for a project.

how many countries have you been to: 10, I have been very luckily graced with the ability to travel to Europe with school a lot.

(Wales, France, Belgium, Germany, Switzerland, America [Florida, Boston, New York], Spain, Portugal, Italy, and finally Canada.)

favorite thing to do on a rainy day: Anything indoors I might usually feel guilty about doing when its sunny. Tv or games particularly

favorite holiday: Christmas. I am a Christmas slut, call me festive sapling I LOVE Christmas.

pen or pencil: Pen. I once bought 7 in lisbon at the same time bc they were perfect and I didn't want to run out.

favourite kind of soup: Cupasoup Chicken noodle, I don't really like soups tbh, I like broths, and gravy type things I make too much of and eat like a soup (like golden Currys or korma sauces)

your typical order at a cafe or coffee shop: Caramel Frappucino or an iced Mocha. If I'm gonna pay a fuck tonne for coffee I'm gonna get a drinkable dessert.

favorite ride at an amusement park: Any slow rides that show you shit, like spaceship earth at EPCOT. I’m not really a speed dude.

the color of your sneakers: RED, red shoes are the shit folks, a good pair of red converse goes with everything.

favorite pbs show (or little kids show if you didn’t have pbs):  Uh I used to watch pokemon then winnie the pooh every single night. But little little kids show I used to watch a show called 64 zoo lane with my grandma so I have fond memories

Rules: name your favorite female characters from 10 different fandoms, then tag 10 people.

Tagged by the wonderful @ashes0909​

Natasha Romanov - Marvel Cinematic Universe

Carol Danvers - Marvel 616

Janet Van Dyne - Marvel Ultimates

Izumi Curtis - Full Metal Alchemist

Martha Jones - Doctor Who

Garnet - Steven Universe (if she doesn't count bc, space rock, Connie)

Rosa Diaz - Brooklyn 99

Ann Perkins  - Parks and Rec

Princess Caroline - Bojack Horseman

Pam Poovey - Archer

LOOK I know there was a lot of cheating here, but I don't have non marvel fandoms really, and I have a hard time remembering a lot of the TV I enjoyed.

Rules: Share your top 10 AO3 additional tags. Tagged by the mysterious @nigmuff​

look I don't know if I have enough tags to make this a justified representation, but the ones shown are v much on brand.

Fanfic trope meme

I was tagged by the delightful @capnstars​ and @crownofstardustandbone​

slowburn or love at first sight // fake dating or !!!secret dating!!! // enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers // oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance correspondence // hurt/comfort or amnesia // fantasy au or modern au // mutual pining or domestic bliss // smut AND fluff // canon-compliant or fix-it  // reincarnation or character death // one-shot or multi-chapter // kid fic or road trip fic // arranged marriage or accidental marriage // high school romance or !!!!middle-aged romance!!! // time travel or isolated together // neighbours or roommates  // sci-fi or magic au // body swap or genderbend  // angst or crack // apocalyptic or mundane

Look guys, I’m boring. I like domestic 30-40 year olds in secret relationships. We knew this.

And now buckle the fuck down folks because I'm about to answer 50 questions about me no one is gonna stick around and read.

tagged by @bardingbeedle​ the only person who would put up with reading this much about me.

What is the colour of your hairbrush?

I have a buzz cut, I don't have a hair brush anymore.

Are you typically too warm or too cold?

Too warm. I have been warmer than most people my whole life, and I often need to sleep with a fan on.

What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

Working on a sketch for an MTH fill (update from the end of this: I have spent an hour doing this fuckin thing)

What is your favourite candy bar?

Bounty. My favourite candy is Reese’s Pieces but I like a bounty. Or like, and chocolate without fruit in it tbh.

Have you ever been to a professional sports event?

Yes, one of my parents referees Championship Football here in the UK. I have been to a few of his games. I also went to the London 2012 Paralympic closing ceremony, if that counts.

What is the last thing you said out loud?

‘Oh, this will last me a few days’ I was talking to my mother about 1/2 a can of pringles, I was lying.

What is your favourite ice cream?

Vanilla. I am boring. But the best ice cream i’ve had was a cream/milk flavoured gelato in Florence, that shit slapped. I also like cheap strawberry ice cream when no one is trying to put strawberry bits in it.

What was the last thing you had to drink?

Dinner. A spinach, banana, summer fruits and coconut yoghurt smoothie (with extra raspberries). Its my nightly dinner to cheat more veg into my body.

Do you like your wallet?

Very much. It’s about 7-8 years old, it is faded to hell but it has spiderman and a pony ride stony pin

What was the last thing you ate?

See above smoothie comment, but if that doesn't count, a sugar free mint polo.

Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

Nope. I don't buy as many clothes as I want to, bc mens clothes in larger sizes are hard to find or expensive here.

The last sporting event you watched?

F1, I don't keep up but I watch a little with my dad every now and then.

What is your favourite flavour of popcorn?

BUTTER. They don't really have it here, and I don't go to movies much when in the states. But @festiveferret​ introduced me to it when we saw Ant-man and the Wasp, and much like poutine and Tim Hortons, I still crave it.

Who is the last person you sent a text message to?

My dad. 

Ever go camping?

Yes, I was a Scout. I have done enough camping to not want to do more, it was fun when I wasn't organising it.

Do you take vitamins?

Yes, but not as often as I should, and as much as my mother bothers me too.

Do you go to church every Sunday?

Nope, not even when I considered myself christian. I go only go to church for other peoples events, and I’m an agnostic now.

Do you have a tan?

I cannot tan. I just can't, I burn lobster red in 5 minutes outside without literal sun cream for BABIES

Do you prefer Chinese food or pizza?

Chinese food, It was easily what taught me to like more foods also, I don't eat tomato so I can't have most pizza. I love a good garlic base/bechamel, but you can't really get that here easily (yes yes I could make my own but that ruins half the point of pizza)

Do you drink your soda with a straw?

I don't drink carbonated drinks, because its like drinking pain. The fuck is wrong with all of you.

What colour socks do you usually wear?

Various colours, but I consider red on the left, blue on the right, my lucky socks. No I don't know why, but I take all exams and interviews wearing them. It’s just a thing.

Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

I don't drive, but if I did, No. Theres a lot of questionable laws out there but Traffic laws aren't one of them.

What terrifies you?

Pfft, most things from spiders to rollercoasters. But more seriously, Being shouted at. Shout at me and I start hyperventilating, its a thing. Also not knowing if someone is mad at me. I’m not good at reading people,

Look to your left, what do you see?

The wallet shown earlier, and the sugar free polos mentioned after that.

What chore do you hate?

Vacuuming. It makes everything in my body hurt. I would rather clean toilets.

What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent?

@s-hylor​

What’s your favourite soda?

See above. I do not like your pain liquid. Apple juice for life.

Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive-thrus?

Either delivery or kiosk, I don't like talking to people where possible, I often need tweaks I don't want to have to remember to repeat.

Who’s the last person you talked to?

@downeyhills​

Favourite cut of beef?

I don't generally eat beef, lamb, or most red meats. I love crispy chilly beef, but as anyone can point out its bc your generally don't feel the texture of the beef.

Last song you listened to?

Everybody Wants to Rule the World | Tears for Fears | Pomplamoose

I’m on a Pomplamoose kick, and I also just love this song anyway.

Last book you read?

Understanding Comics (The invisible Art) - Scott McCloud

Favourite day of the week?

Friday nights. The weekend is ahead and @loraneldin​ and I take to wrangling our beloved usual suspects through another week of Ults Book Club.

Can you say the alphabet backwards?

I can barely say it forwards.

How do you like your coffee?

With milk and sugar, or ultimately, in a Caramel Frappuccino bc I'm a bitch like that.

Favourite pair of shoes?

I have walking boots that don't make my flat ass feet feel like they’re dying. OR my black and green crocs (Fight me, they’re useful).

The time you normally go to sleep?

9-10 is what I'm working on, but I fluctuate depending on if I'm working on something or not.

The time you normally get up?

5-6 If I have a choice in the matter, but often 7-8 if I didn't get to bed at the right time. I’m more about getting the right hours in for my diet than time specifically.

What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets?

Sunset is the prettiest, but I like to be awake to see the sun rise.

How many blankets on your bed?

One big thick comforter, because that's the uk standard, and I get too hot otherwise.

Describe your kitchen plates

Two types, big wide white ones with a navy blue rim. They are so large I never use them, and little Navy saucer plates I use a lot.

Do you have a favourite alcoholic beverage?

I don't drink, so no. I drink apple juice or Shirley temples when I'm in pubs/bars

Do you play cards?

Sometimes, I like to teach people to play Old Maid. It’s the monopoly of card games.

What colour is your car?

Again, I do not drive. 

Can you change a tire?

I am aware I just said I don't have a car, but I do know how to change a tire. Everyone should go learn its pretty simple.

Favourite job you’ve ever had?

I have only had one job really and two job experience jobs. I did experience in a school library for a week and that was v fun and chill. I did all the jobs they had prepared for me in 2 days so I alphabetically reorganised their fiction section for the rest of the week. I LIKE ORDERING.

How did you get your biggest scar?

I no longer have a gallbladder, so I have 3 scars across my torso from that, the biggest right in the middle of my ribs. Non surgical wise I have matching scars on my knees from ripping holes in them when tripping. I have weak ankles and also I got both of those at different times.

What did you do today that made someone else happy?

I gave my spare animal crossing Iguanodon skull to a wicked artist I follow on twitter so he could complete his dino park. 

[inyoursheets]

Quarantine tag game

Tagged by @mego42 who is rlly cool n you should deffo follow her if you don’t bc her tags are amazing she’s amazing her fics are amazing and I cant believe she’s doing the tumblr equivalent of hanging out w me aka tagging me in tag games HELLO I APPRECIATE YOU

ARE YOU STAYING HOME FROM WORK/SCHOOL? yes im privileged enough to be able to stay at home n work/procrastinate on my rma thesis from my student apartment

IF YOU’RE STAYING HOME, WHO IS THERE WITH YOU? our cat jopie and sometimes two out of five of my roommates, the rest are w/ family or boyfriends, but I think for the next few days it’s just me and jopie and all of my brio feelings

ARE YOU A HOMEBODY? totally. i think im better equipped for this that most, being as introverted as I am lol. ok that sounds strangely braggy sorry, but i mean like... my elder sister, a raging extravert, who bc of her job n housing situation still sees like, a bunch of people on a regular basis still, is already Suffering, and im just like.... chilling. now, that is. went through my anxious phase like, 3 weeks ago.

AN EVENT THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT GOT CANCELLED? a maluma concert w the person I consider my platonic soulmate - but im not that sad about it, I still get to facetime her n stream his music so im winning. also finally meeting my potential fwb dude! we hadn't set a date yet but now it’s completely shut down lol. I met him while i was living in the uk and he was here n now that we’re back to living in the same country we... still cant meet which is fine except he’s moving back to the us in august so im selfishly hoping I can hop on his d*ck before then. says I, a bisexual who hasn't fucked a dude before.  who have I become. my younger self would never--

WHAT MOVIES HAVE YOU WATCHED RECENTLY? omg I watched my favorite dutch film (oh yea im dutch) which is niemand in the stad and idk why I love it so much, it’s kinda strange n way too focused on men (who cares about men?) but it’s about dutch student culture and that’s something im very familiar with and I think it does it justice! also the director only made documentaries previously n they used actual student apartments to shoot the film in !!!! which I love! I find student apartments in the Netherlands SO interesting bc they have so much personality n history ANYWAY if you ever wanna watch a dutch film watch this one. tho I must warn, if you’re gonna watch a dutch film, you’re gonnasee some genitals. so. yeah. just so you know.

WHAT SHOWS ARE YOU WATCHING? obvs good girls, am also rewatching the good place and suits at the same time, considering starting parks and rec and/or the office, am lowkey also considering watching graceland and dare me and I blame tumblr for both of those.

WHAT MUSIC ARE YOU LISTENING TO? lol what kinda answer are u expecting of me. I have such a strange combination of tastes idek. reggaeton! dutch rap! music featured on good girls! all of it!

WHAT ARE YOU READING? uhm. a tooon of brio fanfic and occasionally things for my thesis (like virgie tovar's you have the right to remain fat! which is as cool as it sounds so far!)

WHAT ARE YOU DOING FOR SELF-CARE? this whole situation has forced me to become a grownup and finally... do... meal prep.... like.... I now do groceries once a week max instead of wandering into the store everyday thinking HMMM what are we havin tonite (royal plural) so yeah. also Ive been doing facemasks???? a very un-me move, im too gay to function take care of my skin w a facemask. but my skin has been crazy dry bc now im home 24/7 w an archaic heating system (idk the English for it) so yeah that’s happening.

tagging: @mrslackles @bathroombreaks @cemeterydreamer and @bourbon-ontherocks if you feel like it!

[cursedgazetteposts]

LIVE EXPERIENCE!! WOW SO I flew my ass all the way to the Englands™ for those shits. Me and my friend were planning on finding our other friends in queue at like 9 but one of them went at 4 and was like lol there's ppl so we were there at 8 (I was number 46). I MET RAD SO THAT WAS COOL and all the waiting was actually nice! Met a bunch of ppl, signed lotsa banners, roamed around a bit (we didn't lose our places since numbers). (part 1)

[cont.]

Because we were in the middle of the street and the queue WAS LONG AF every other passerby was asking "oh what's going on" and stuff and ppl were taking?? pictures?? and some people selfies with the queue lol We went in and I was second row and Uruha was such A TEASE and he obviously LOVED IT because the crowd was great at the uk!!! (looking at you, Paris of 2016) Everyone was headbanging AND EVERYONE WAS SINGING AT EVERY SONG idk if the Boyz™ could hear that bc they're wearing earplugs (pt 2)

BUT!! IT WAS SO COOL!! and bc THE electric ballroom is fairly small and everyone was squeezing each other (I could feel sweat... everywhere... and my arms were super sticky and it wasn't just my own sweat..) the security dudes were super nice and came to the rescue EACH TIME anyone needed water!! Like I at least 5 times during the live called the security dude and asked for a glass of water!! I remember crying a lot during Sono Koe (pt 3)

and every time I felt tired and like I can't headbang anymore I looked at Uruha and Uruha kept on hyping us up and headbanging so I found the courage to keep going lol. There was a Polish dude that was my friend's friend near me and URUHA LIKED HIM A LOT??? HE KEPT POINTING AT HIM AND THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON IT WAS HILARIOUS we kept teasing him afterwards like "I think u got a date". Aoi came over at some point and he was precious, Reita did too during inside beast and I NUT--(pt 4)

--I mean, that was nice lol. At some point Ruki touched Reita's shoulder (it was all it took and I dived back into that Reituki trash) and I think Aoi sent a kiss to Uruha?? Classic. Kai was visible!! Because the stage was so close and low we could see Kai clearly!! When he came to the front before the encore the SCREAM from the crowd was so big it literally sounded deformed in my ear lol. We tried singing Uruha happy birthday when they came back but he pointed to Reita (pt. 5)

And Reita back at him lol. Cute nerds. URUHA AT THE END OF THE LIVE THREW ME A PICK?? but I wasn't looking because I was like well they ain't gonna throw a pick here so I just looked down bc my nape was dying AND THE PICK LANDED ON MY RIGHT BOOB so thanks for that. But it bounced off and I tried looking for it after the live but a friend of mine found it first and was like "mine now" so like :)) cool. Anyway waiting for the m&g I went to the bathroom and washed my whole fucking arm bc EW

and me and my friends, being almost dead, were almost last so at least we didn't have to hurry at the meet and greet. Thanks to it being after the live this time I wasn't nervous at all, since all the tension left me at the live, and I was able to talk this time. Aoi was confused bc he couldn't understand shit in English, I talked to Reita a bit and brofisted him and he was like "Oh YEAHHH!!" happy nerd, Ruki... (pt 7)

i told Ruki that Im from Greece and he didn't hear me so he leaned in, so I repeated that and showed him the flag that i was currently wearing on my shoulders. But being used to be given flags, he thought I was trying to give it to him... and he tried to take it but I pulled it back bc it wasn't mine and I didn't know if that was okay and like... Ruki must have felt like when you wave at someone who is waving to someone behind you?? yeah.. sry. Kai was such a sunshine and Uruha was Uwuha. (pt 8)

Kai's English is excellent tbh. Well after we were done my legs were literally throbbing, my nape was dying and me and my friend took our shoes off on the train. A mess™. Great experience, 10/10 I recommend. It's weird how I go to so many lives all the time but, gazette lives are always the best. You said short live reports? Oops. Hope you enjoy anyway and you make it next tour!!! (end)

aaaaa yeA thank u so much for sending this :,)))) makes me so happy to read these u have no idea !!!!!!!!! ack idk what to comment on there is so much. i hope the polish guy and uruha had fun together skskksskbcnsjxjan