#bc I mentioned the exploding and stuff in here tags

[nick-eyre]

Blorbo from inside my game

[sugar-omi]

Can we know some Baxter thoughts on the scenario with MC leaving Cove and Baxter and MC eloping after the split? I'm invested

bro i think we're all mentally connected bc i just mention is this post that i forgot to add some stuff abt how baxter acts. tysm for sending this and omg i find it so funny everyone's so invested in this little story!! i never knew itd end up like this lmaooo

tags : Angst, (emotional) cheating, y'all live in delulu land, multiple choice dialogue, your moms distance themselves/disown you

[read "leaving cove for baxter" here]

synopsis : how does baxter act when you leave cove for him?

baxter feels so bad...

honestly he doesn't understand why you're doing this, he's so confused

he's happy that you still love him

but he see's how great of a man cove is and it kills him more than anything

he begs you not to do this

"y/n please! be rational!" baxter's fingers dig into his palms. he's trying to keep calm, but he's heard the best and worst news of his life.

you sit across from him, hands in your lap and crying. "i am. i... i love cove, and he's amazing. but you are everything i want."

baxter gapes, watching you cry with wide eyes. "i tried to forget about you, but I just can't.. I love you. I love you so much more than him!" you sob, hands covering your face.

baxter's hands are shaking.

he's happy to hear that you love him but you're engaged.

you're supposed to be married soon, all that's left is to pick out your outfits and the dance lessons and now...

baxter swallows. "and you've... thought about it?"

you nod.

baxter sighs, rubbing his sweaty palms on his dress pants. "...okay."

baxter is waiting for you that night when you break it off.

and when you walk through his door, with tears in your eyes he wraps his arms around you as you cry and tell him about how it went.

cove was distraught, to say the least. and after much crying and "why"'s, cove stopped crying and was just mad...

a quiet man's scorn is a scary thing..

"get out." cove doesn't look at you, he can't. if he does he'll actually combust and explode.

you gape, "..what?"

cove looks at you, suddenly enraged by your oblivion. "I said get out!" cove stands up, hands fisted at his side. you didn't believe he'd hit you or harm you in anyway, but you've very rarely seen him angry.

"why are you sitting there looking dumb? you just said you love someone else! our fucking WEDDING planner at that!" cove yells. "what? did you wanna stay and play happy family with me while you fuck him!?"

cove laughs humorlessly. "I can't believe you... don't you wanna be with him? you should just leave." what cove says next shakes you.

"or maybe you want to fuck him in our bed, in our home!" cove is crying again, frustrated and angry.

you start crying, "no! i-" you don't know what you're trying to say, if anything at all and your sobs cut you off.

"then leave, get your shit and leave!"

cove storms to your bedroom as you cry. when you finally get enough strength in your legs again you go upstairs to see him roughly packing your things into the bags and suitcases.

you shake, starting to grab some of your other things and packing them shakily into the bags.

cove starts hauling the suitcases to the car, quiet as can be.

once most things that can fit into your car are closed up, cove stands on the porch of your home. or what used to be your home.

you stand in front of him, shaking.

cove stopped crying awhile ago, and his anger fell off him awhile ago too. now he just looks calm, but if you know him worth anything than you know that once the door closes he'll break.

cove hands you his engagement ring. "sell it, or keep it, propose to your new boyfriend."

cove hands you his half of the $20 bill. you gape at him, god you made a fool of yourself today. "throw it away. burn it. I don't care anymore, so don't hold onto it."

cove crosses his arms, "sell the ring. i don't want it."

cove hands you his engagement ring. "sell the rings, i don't want mine. marry your new boyfriend instead."

he slams the door.

baxter lets you weep. he doesn't feel upset that you're mourning the relationship, you've known him for 15 years and even if you wanted for him, you loved cove everyday until now..

when your family cuts you off and distances themselves, he watches you fall apart.

you just got off the phone with your ma, who chewed you out for choosing baxter of cover. he could hear her yells through the phone since you had it on speaker.

you were going to grocery shop together and cook for a date, but with your shaking hands and puffy eyes, you're in no shape to do anything.

so he lets you cry.

when miranda calls you, he watches the shock on your face morph to shame and pure emptiness.

miranda is screaming, cussing you out for hurting cove.

"why did you have to ruin everything for him?! what's so good about him?!"

you just cry, mumbling sorry's in between miranda's yells.

he holds your hand while you curl in on yourself, tears soaking into the rug under your feet...

baxter helps you pack away the last of your furniture in the house.

when he first entered it, he could tell the love had been ripped off the walls...

there was so much decoration missing.

there weren't any pictures on the walls.

in fact, he found your photo album and your sister takes it from his hands, not looking or speaking to him as she packs it into her bag..

many of the photos he saw were of cove with you and your family. too many memories you won't want and will hide in a dusty corner anyway if you did keep it.

he just carries the boxes to the u-haul, watching the house bleed with everything that comes out of it.

something about the dark house in the distance kills him, and he sits silently in his shame...

over the next few months you finally stop crying.

the phone calls stop coming and you're cheer comes back.

it's definitely different compared to when you were younger, and a far cry from what it was when you were still with cove, but you both act like it never happened.

maybe you're deluding yourselves, but when baxter wakes up and his heart bumps in his chest, it increases his anxiety and he feels like his throat is closing up..

baxter throws the covers off himself, getting up to wash up and find you.

whenever silence comes to him, the shame always finds him...

after changing into new clothes, baxter goes to find you in the kitchen, and when you greet him with a brilliant smile and a kiss, the shame melts away.

this is okay.

baxter stirs, warmed up by your hand caressing his face.

he blinks through blurry vision, smiling as he admires you. "good morning.."

you smile, running your finger along the angle of his nose. "g'morning handsome..." you lean forward n lay a kiss on his cheek.

baxter lets the warmth of your palm sink into his skin, sleep creeping back into him.

"let's get married."

baxter's eyes fly open, gaping at you like a fish.

"w-what?"

you sit up wordlessly, reaching into your nightstand and pulling out a dark purple fabric box, cracking it open to present a ring.

"i love you, and i wanna make sure i keep waking up to you everyday so.. baxter, will you marry me?"

when you come back from your short honeymoon, just a small weekend trip a quick run away from home, to match your quick wedding, your joy seeps through the floor..

for the weekend you didn't look at your phones, or at least didn't check social media and there wasn't any missed phone calls or messages.

but when baxter comes home from work he found you crying softly on the couch, trying to wipe away your tears before baxter could see but it was useless.

he crouched in front of you. "whats wrong?"

you show him derek's message, and once he finishes reading that, you show him one more...

COVE: hey. COVE: congrats on your marriage i guess... just wanted to tell you the house is sold, i gave dad back what he gifted for the down payment and the rest is yours. COVE: bye [you can no longer send messages to this user]

baxter blinks at it slowly... even though he's been so badly betrayed, cove still wishes you congratulations.

cove is a better man than baxter will ever be.

...

baxter sets your phone down, pulling you up and leading you down the hall.

"what do you think about me washing your hair, and after i'll prepare us a nice meal. what do you think?"

it's fine. shame is eating baxter up from his head to his feet, but everything is fine.

even when he pets your hair while you sleep, and whispers into the night. "i'm sorry... you've lost you're family because of me..."

even if he frets about how you've given up everything for him, it's fine.

you're happy together. maybe you can be happy with just the two of you? maybe. maybe...

[2n2n]

Hi, hi !

I've been getting back into tbhk lately and found your blog out of nowhere and wanted to say thank you for the great content. I've really been enjoying reading your posts !

So I wanted to ask, bc I saw you mention jp tbhk twitter, would you happen to have some twt acc recs/keywords for someone to search ? Since my hyperfixation seems to be back on tbhk/amatsuka, and I refuse to set a foot again in the cesspool pit that is the western fandom..... /shudders

Thanks if you do, but also thanks if you don't !

sure, I'll link most of the accounts I follow...!

from there, you can look at anyone's likes or retweets and find more branching artists and commentators to follow :3 a lot of people quiet down between things like chapter or volume releases. You'll see them explode the moment stuff is happening!!

I'll also suggest some other things to liven up your life and suckle at outside of twitter, and I hope that's useful. There is honestly so, so much out there, I don't think anyone needs to bother with most western engagements... it's enough to follow a couple of ramblers and helpful translators, a fangirl or two, and leave it at that.

there's also always a 5ch thread that updates... sometimes greatly amuses me

bilibili meanwhile is a chinese website similar to youtube (you won't be able to 'signup' for it though, as it requires an ID... if you want to save anything, you should just make a bookmarks folder in your browser. you can ignore notifications from bilibili to sign up and resume videos, so don't be intimidated. to turn off scrolling comments, click the little television symbol under the video) and there's tons of wonderful stuff there, like people doing vocal imitations of the twins and covering songs, animations to songs, AMVs, MMDs... there are some unique tags for certain trends, suchas MMD usually being tagged with 【地缚少年花子君MMD】 BUT not all videos bother, so you're best to just click around relevant things and plug in various terms and see what you get!

nicovideo also exists and you can use the tag 地縛少年花子くんMMD if you like MMD! I love this HanaNene one for Picture Perfect...

as for terms, here are various in different languages (with apologies that I can't provide all for all languages ... but it's a start!)

あまつか / 아마츠카 - amatsuka つかあま / 츠카아마 - tsukaama

普司 - amanetsukasa

司普 - tsukasaamane 柚木兄弟 - yugi kyoudai/yugi brothers 25日は柚木の日 - the 25th is yugi day 柚木の日 - yugi day 花寧々 / はなねね - hananene 普寧々 - amanenene あまねね / 아마네네 - amanene つか寧々 / つかねね / 츠카네네 - tsukanene 花寧々つか / はなねねつか - hananenetsuka 花寧々司 - hananenetsukasa

more likely what you would find on bilibili/CH fandom

under the cut here I'll link twitter accounts. Many periodically lock/private, especially while actively discussing spoilers for new events.

a note about a kind of cultural difference; western fandom often has a much, much stricter divide between things like hananene and amatsuka, with fans of one rarely tolerating the other. It's not often the case over yonders; often everyone will celebrate hananene illustrations and cute moments, or laugh about tsunene kiss and joke about them dating, even if the artist only draws the twins. That is to say that certain types of people won't survive in this environment!!!!!

https://twitter.com/ariarimap -- presently, mostly makes tsunene content, but likes the twins and hananene as well! https://twitter.com/bami_ko83 -- industrious twins stan. More of a tsukaama than amatsuka https://twitter.com/emotaro_0 -- twins stan! not very active right now but comes & goes! https://twitter.com/grcmk0 -- twins stan… https://twitter.com/bluehyke -- sadly not active anymore, but wonderful twins and some hananene https://twitter.com/chi1000ex -- atmospheric twins stan https://twitter.com/silawin1122 -- twins stan https://twitter.com/Wakame_21 -- mostly into the twins, dabbles in other things like tsumitsu lol, and engages in more fandoms than just JSHK https://twitter.com/Miiiiiihana -- a delightful tsukaama filled with hijinks. one of my favorites!! very funny tweeeets too when events GO DOWN!! https://twitter.com/1Shinru -- mostly a hananene! occasionally some flirty twins stuff hehe https://twitter.com/askrhnkkn -- amatsuka! my favorite reactions and responses to things..... my favorite amatsuka account! https://twitter.com/furagi_2585 -- tsunene!!!! https://twitter.com/appleteasoda22 -- hananene !

[beepbananabus]

Alr you gotta say the first thoughts in your head about Vanoss and Delirious GO!

it drives me insane how they are each other's exceptions (or at least, jon is to evan)

for example, evan has built up this asshole repertoire where he bullies everyone ceaselessly EXCEPT for jon. he will apologize to him (GTA when he destroyed the bear memorial (and in that same video, he killed moo by accident but didn't apologize), small GMod mistakes like misplacing props, skits gone wrong, and several other instances). he will try and amend his mistakes with him. evan will straight up ditch a whole bit just so that he can let jon join in (minecraft; the nether star fiasco (even brian who started the bit was like WTF evan)), jon will run away from the others and let only evan tag along with him (also in minecraft. they even state outright how pissed the others will be LMAO.) and share items with him for no reason (minecraft. again. chick-fil-a scene (focus on evan's inventory)), and evan will just laugh the hardest and the softest (genuinely for no reason other than jon's laugh. the joke was already over by that point) around him?? and there IS a noticeable difference. btw. im not losing my mind over this.

evan's mood will do a complete fucking 180 when it comes to jon (a little bit of a longer clip because it needs to be established what their mood was PRIOR to this and how SHARPLY it changes once jon is in the picture), even for stuff that he should JUSTIFIABLY be upset about**

(i was also so tempted to also mention all of their friend's feelings ABOUT them but this is about THEM. however, i wouldn't mind spilling about that either)

** this is a way longer tangent so ill put it under a cut (SPOILERS FOR ONE OF EVAN'S AMONG US VIDEOS INCLUDED)

video here, (starts at the timestamp, also time stamping this one bc this segment is longer than what youtube clips allows for.)

for context, jon and evan are playing among us with other people. evan is an imposter and fools around with jon (this is not an exaggeration) before locking him into storage. his imposter crewmate sneaks in, kills jon and runs off, but in the meeting that follows afterwards, jon accidentally exposes evan by not muting his mic, getting evan killed.

INSTEAD of being angry at him (yes. this is a video game but they've been pissed over lesser things), or even a SMIDGE of being upset, evan instead goes over and COMFORTS him.

LIKE. i can VERIFY to you that that has accidentally happened before and all other times, people in this game have been LIVID. they've been PISSED. these are gamer bros that are easy to launch into a cursing fit. yet he doesnt.

(yes, evan does have a rep for not exploding into anger but he shows himself being upset in other ways. none of those are present in that video.)

Notes:

6.06 - 8:40 is one of those scenes that makes me?? lose it?? /affectionately

because its a MIX of things.

evan is playing with jon here. and im not talking about like. playing as in playing the game. he's doing a bit with jon and jon only and it reminds me of like, stereotypical girls when they get a guy to chase them while giggling, like they're PLAYING TAG right now. just the two of them.

evan didnt even kill jon. evan probably WASNT PLANNING TO. he was just messing around with jon probably and was going to leave him alone after this, like i kinda wish jon didn't die to see what evan WOULD've done

just??? their fucking BANTER in general, then their soft comfort at the end?? like that is INCREDIBLY out of their gamer persona, like i cannot state this enough. they have their moments together and GODDDD YEAH.

when they're dead, prox chat is off. they didn't NEED to be that close to each other to talk and yet they are (also. grizzy is nowhere near them and yet hes engaging in the convo, meaning that presence is not mandatory)

[miasanmuller]

So @acrazybayernfan came up with this absolutely incredible tag game and I'm 100% here for it so let's go:

What is your top 10 most memorable Bayern’s matches?

In no particular order:

Well needless to say: 8-2. I mean... it's just too iconic to not mention lol.

I also can't not mention Robert Lewandowski loses his motherfucking mind scores 5 times in 9 minutes against Wolfsburg in 2015. I mean, it's historic.

2015 UCL, the second leg against Porto during quarter-finals. That was the time I learned the valuable lesson of never giving up and to keep believing in the team and in this club. That game was insane and we ended up winning 6-1 and securing our place in Semi-finals when we died a horrible horrible death but anyway. I remember watching that game and feeling so much pride and joy of being a Bayern fan, I get emotional just to remember it lol

Now this one is really special to me for an unusual reason, I guess: home game against Bremen during the 2014-15 Bundesliga. We won 6-0, it was the second highest score we got that season I think (if I remember correctly we went on to win against H*mburg 8-0, or was it before? whatever). I remember this game bc Fips scored a brace and it was just LEGENDARY bc you wouldn't expect him to score let alone score twice in a single match. I remember screaming like crazy when he scored the first and then just dying when he did it again lmao it was fun

Another one from the 2014-15 season (this was my first season around so I remember a lot of stuff): away game against Mainz, we won 2-1. I'm not exactly sure if it was Basti's first game since he came back from injury (after the WC) or if it was one of the first games... in any case, he scored an insane goal (which to this day is one of my favorite Bayern goals ever) and I screamed like crazy and I was watching it back in my parent's house and my dad walked in while I was screaming lmao

2015-16 UCL, 2nd leg against Juve in Round of 16. We desperately needed to win and we begun losing and no one really expected us to make it through. I remember this one bc I actually didn't watch it: I don't remember exactly if I couldn't find a stream or what, but the best I could do was read live updates on a website and pray. It was one of the most stressful experiences of my life and I remember abandoning my phone at one point bc I was sure we wouldn't win. And we did. Lmao.

2019-20 Bundesliga. Away game in Frankfurt, the infamous 5-1. This one was during a time where I drifted away from Bayern due to depression and stuff and I didn't feel as connected to the team as I used to and then I remember seeing the scoreline and just... dying inside. Feeling like something was very, very wrong with the world. I can't remember the match exaclty, but I have never let go of it since then and to this day I loathe Frankfurt for this specific match.

This year's Pokal match against Freiburg in April. That was one of the most frustrating experiences of my life as a Bayern fan. It was our second game with Tuchel and I was already feeling that I would want that man's head on a silver plate (and I still do).

Another one (last one) from the 2014-15 season bc this one is really really special: our friendly against MLS All-Stars before the start of the season. Which we lost. It's special bc it was the first Bayern match I actually watched!!! I remember feeling very happy when I found a channel that was showing it and I was very excited even though the WC guys wouldn't play (I think they ended up being subbed in in the 2nd half? I don't remember exactly). Everybody was talking about Lewandowski and I was all ?????!!!! bc I had no concept of anything. It was an awful match but a very fun experience lmao

And last but not least: our UCL win against PSG in 2020. It wasn't the way we all wanted it to be, but since I was just coming back from my "fan retirement" I remember exploding from joy after that game and throwing myself on the floor and rolling around and idk it was priceless. Making P$G fail and Neymar cry has got to be some of the best things we do every now and then lmao thanks for that Bayern

I know a lot of you have already been tagged (I didn't check if any of you already did it lmao) but I'll tag anyway bc I'm just like that. I tag @thomas-mvller @thomats @probayern @miss-i-ship-it @fabioquartararhoe @smolnerdz @smilesleepandspeak and @leongolretzka (but please don't feel pressured to do it ^^)

[riacte]

rria . ria dont convert the timestamp of receiving this ask to est but i finished false episodes and i get it i understand the devotion and the homies and the protectiveness hoyljjy fuck save me 🦅🐕save me. beware of dog reapers watch out rendogss about false false false you won💥💥💥😺💥💥💥💥💥💥

RIGHT. THEY ARE SO SWEET IT MAKES ME WANT TO EXPLODE.

When I was watching the first part I was like ohhh she sounds SO soggy when he’s not talking to her. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her this soggy. And then it was slowly building and oh we’re really in it now.

BUT THE REUNION SCENE IS SO!!!!!! They’re so happy for each other 😭😭😭 False saying he deserves the win even though it’s her who won 😭😭 Ren coming in like YOU WON!! YOU WON!! :DDDDD

And I was already screaming and dying. But you can really tell how fond they are of each other. And False being more excited for the cool hat than the Demise prize and he literally promised to give it to her tomorrow when things had calmed down— and she won!! All the dots are connected.

And the end. MAN. “Watch out, Rendog is about” in all caps. Her putting his name and head on her build. And the giggle before the cut. And I’m left sitting here like OKAY THAT JUST HAPPENED. WOW.

I feel slightly insane because it’s like …??? It’s so obvious how core and special their friendship is to both of their contents on HC. Take a quick scroll through their thumbnails and they pop up every now and then. All the collabs. AND STANDING NEXT TO EACH OTHER IN GROUP RECORDINGS (this always happens). We even have major standout events like Blue9 and BRR and S6 neighbours. And now Demise because DUDE. THAT WAS CRAZY.

And still Tumblr (and both of their Twitch chats) seems to be the only site in which people majorly care about their bond? Does that make sense. Tumblrinas screaming and crying and filling up the main tags. Actually Twitch chat is the mvp here because I feel like every single stream of theirs has a mention of the other and chat is like :DDD we love you and the other person :DD. They’re invisible on blue bird site and THANK GOD and STAY AWAY. Orange app is a bit better bc at least the Mc Championship guys recognise them but you know when there was a post back in HC Reddit then asking for “underrated” duos and we had to post FalseRen because other people weren’t. Are they underrated? Do other people think they’re popular. Like Ren isn’t usually paired with False in fanon but I think most people have the awareness to include bits about their friendship? But still? I would’ve expected more… why aren’t they more popular like some other duos even after the five million obvious / dramatic / cute / wholesome stuff 😭 Ren’s favouritism gets worse every time I check in 😭

(I know. It’s because fandoms tend to like same gender pairs. But it does notttt explain why everyone happily pairs up Stress+Iskall and Joe+Cleo and it’s all recognised and these two are like …? oh yeah they’re friends. Right. They’re friends.)

Anyways this got long. That vid makes me soooo happy and it’s sooo good. I know Ren is probably going to make his next ep thumbnail his really cute hut but if False is also on there or it’s titled after something like “WE DID IT FALSE” I would further explode into millions of pieces. 🥺

[texturralize]

Writer of my broken soul. What has happened to the svss fics? Are you okay? Who do I need to fight for you cause I rely on those fics more than an online shopper relies on their credit card.

it’s just..kind of a unfortunate timing kinda thing..something just really discouraged me and hit on some social trauma I have and I’ve been in a funk and need to take a break from my sv fanfic. the other night I sat down to write and someone messaged me on twt to join a sj fan server.

I got super excited bc I still hadn’t ever found a sj focused server and he is (obviously) my fave. when I got in, someone mentioned being fan of my fics. so I searched them just bc I was kinda curious. well..there were a few nitpicks things here and there which is fine. but ig one of my fics, because I forgot a tag, showed up in some people’s feed even when they set their filters, and it bothered them. there were some really hurtful things said..stuff like oh you can’t trust this author, can’t believe they did this, it was disingenuous, they wanted to toss themself down the stairs from sheer disgust, it was creepy, people wanted to block me, they felt mad anytime they saw my name…it was bordering on fic/author bashing and I was shocked the conversation just continued like normal and was allowed…so I got uncomfortable and left the server.

I don’t really blame the server itself or the people who talked about me, multiple people have sent me DMs saying they felt bad and like my work and that was really sweet. one of the people who said stuff also apologized for it so it’s not like I hold a grudge. it’s just, stuff like this is kind of hard to deal with for me. it’s not that I’ve never encountered hate comments or anything on the internet, I think I was just blindsided by the situation..no one expects to encounter stuff like that in what should be a safe space for fun and ideas you were invited to. I let myself get excited and wasn’t expecting it so it really affected me.

it’s just unfortunate that it happened in that way because though I’m sure no one specifically meant to hurt me, like I said, this kind of triggered some social trauma for me. as someone who grew up with undiagnosed autism, I’ve often felt hurt and silly when I entered spaces and didn’t realize people didn’t like me until too late. I spent a long time unable to explain why I felt certain ways when these things happened bc I didn’t even understand the way my own brain worked. I also have a very direct way of communicating and don’t say things unless I mean them, so the idea of venting and being aggressive abt something but not ‘really meaning it’ is hard for me; it’s hard to understand that someone could say such cruel stuff but not take it seriously. so my brain catastrophizes and won’t let me forget what happened and there’s dysphoria when I perceive rejection, dislike, aggression, etc. BECAUSE I take those things so seriously. and I also would never bash someone or their fic bc I know fic is made from love and is 100% free so it’s hard for me to get past it y’know?

just to reiterate..I’m not mad at anyone, I don’t think anyone is a bad person. they said they made a mistake speaking like that about someone and will keep in mind what I said when we talked. I’m sure there are plenty of people in that server who like my stuff and don’t want to see me discouraged…

god, it’s just really hard, you know? it’s been a while since something really managed to hurt my feelings. I guess I just felt stupid, and kind of humiliated. it’s that feeling of walking into a room only to realize you’re the punchline…

so..yeah it just kind of has me in a funk, as someone who’s struggled to make friends and connections in fandom too despite how ‘easy’ it’s supposed to be. I’m still kind of disappointed that something I got excited over exploded so much in my face and didn’t work out. but overall I mostly just tripped into a depression spell and it’s making me feel bad to look at my work so..I decided to take a break from it. to people who like my stuff…I’m really sorry. I don’t mean to take anything away from people who really liked it. I just want to feel better.

the last time I felt this bad was a few years ago, when someone did something really horrible to me and it upset me so much and took the joy out of the fandom I was creating content for, because it was something we did together. I’m not really upset over the specifics of what was said, just the experience and how similar it was to things I’ve went through in the past. I’m upset over the fact I don’t feel like it’s fun to write right now, and I don’t want to lose this special interest like I did my last one…so yeah, just kind of sucks overall.

I hope no one feels bad about what happened for a long time. just..unfortunately, I probably will, and maybe taking a break will help..idk

sorry :(

[kitamars]

hope you don't mind me sending in another ask so soon but i always find this kinda stuff interesting- now that you've survived two big serious arcs how would you rank the main cast in terms of like. favs & stuff?

don't apologise for the asks at all!! i love answering them and rambling about my thoughts so actually thank YOU for giving me a viable outlet haha

so I had to pull out my notes app to draft this one bc i can't do things simply apparently. i can't rank characters for shit so I'm just gonna rate the main ones (at least to me) out of ten and that's that lol, so onward beyond the cut!

Gintoki: I'm in love with him. 10/10.

He's captivated me with his dead fish eyes and pathetic charm, the way he subverts the general shonen protag archetype really works for me (bc i tend to get annoyed with the genre every now and then) but other than that he's such an interesting character on his own that I cannot get into for fear of rambling too much but yeah. I like him a lot. I might cry about someday in the tags of some art or whatever

(also beam saber arc is UNDERRATED (to me) and its very much overshadowed by everything before and after it but I DON'T CARE it has some of my favourite gin character bits this is my propaganda i just felt like i had to put this here THANKS)

Shinpachi: the human-wearing-glasses gag is absolutely hilarious and I hope it never stops. 8/10.

I love shinpachi a lot I promise, i love how dedicated he is to the straight man role and also the times when he's not. Honestly he could have very easily annoyed me after a bit, but he's genuinely just so loveable and a lot of his charm just comes from his VA's delivery, I've never heard anyone else able to convey the emotional range that I've heard from shinpachi in this anime fnsnjrjgjs

I do think he needs more screentime though (watch beam saber arc),,,kagura tends to get a lot of the spotlight (which I'm not mad about) but he also needs some love!! he's just some guy yk gotta give some appreciation!!

Kagura: queen of kabukicho and the queen of my heart. 10/10.

SHE IS LITERALLY EVERYTHING TO ME. i don't have words to express how much I love her, she's one of my all time favorites ever. She's just doing her thing, eating gin-san out of house and home and kicking ass while she's at it and she's so valid for that.

A big part of why I like her is also just her relationship with the yorozuya. the amount of times I've felt like exploding when I see her and gin or shinpachi just interacting in the background of a scene or something similar is impossible to count. She's my little mimi and she deserves literally the world

(Also there's this one compilation of her singing on YouTube and i listen to it RELIGIOUSLY kugimiya rie is a blessing for this character for real it's insane)

Sadaharu interlude: Big ball of fluff/10 (he's adorable)

Hijikata: this man makes me feel a similar range of emotions I feel cramming the night before a final, if not more. 10/10.

He drives me NUTS. you know me, i love my dark-haired chainsmoking men with issues, and he's just chock full of them, it's like a dream come true. Every arc that's focused on him has been absolutely incredible, and even on his own he's such an interesting and funny character. Fully biased towards his VA btw, i don't think anyone else could voice him as effectively, the delivery is always top notch.

His dynamic with the rest of the shinsengumi is honestly one of my favourites, he's got so much range as a serious and gag character, especially when the plot decides to chuck his coolness out the window with that little mayonnaise addiction of his (now everytime I put mayonnaise on anything at all i give myself a dirty look, idk why).

Also i should mention that tosshi was one of the only things that made my watching experience truly difficult. I'd just cringe out of existence everytime he opened his mouth it was. An experience. I still love him very much. Too much maybe.

Sougo: sadism has never looked more fun. 9/10.

I don't think I really have much to say about him? he's genuinely a really fun character, and his endless quests to smear hijikata across the asphalt is always the highlight of any viewing experience. i loved him regardless, but the mitsuba and farewell shinsengumi arcs gave him that extra bit of depth that really solidified him as a fav hehe

YOU DONT GET CHARACTERS LIKE HIM VERY OFTEN AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

kondo: gorilla gorilla/10 (9/10)

thi guy is just the fucking funniest. he's one of the perfect examples of how gintama does characterisation through comedy because by introducing him with all his hilarious gags, you start to care a lot more about him when things actually get serious. Plus the joke never really gets old with him, if he shows up in an episode I know I'm about to have a great time.

but as a serious character as well he's just so good. Him being the glue of the shinsengumi is incredible and sometimes in the plot (crisis and farewell arcs) you can see exactly what it is in this man that makes people want to follow him to the ends of the earth, he is just a good person and I love him for that.

also he's the reason i realised I have not grown out of my 14 year old dick joke phase so there's that

Otose: gintoki's overdue rent/10 (9/10)

I enjoy her so much actually, she's already incredibly fun, but whenever they show more background to gintoki and her's relationship, all of a sudden i am in a puddle of tears on the floor, it's one of the most important things ever to me, the foster parent trope is my weak point.

evidently, kabukicho four devas was my kryptonite (in a really really good way)

Catherine: the heavy accent is pretty funny. 7/10.

I don't really have strong feelings about her tbh, she's alright and funny enough, that's pretty much all I can say

Tama: total number of her leukocytes/10 (9/10)

I LIKE TAMA SOOOOO MUCH SHES SO SWEET AND KIND AND ADORABLE. all of the tama centric arcs have been really fun and each episode involving her is so nice. Finding out she was the time traveller in the bfy movie was such a great twist but immediately made sense bc OF COURSE she would go that far for her very first friends!!!!! i love her innocence so dearly and the way she simply just wants to help others, also otose seeing her as a daughter makes me so emotional

Hasegawa: the madaodog madaonaire episode made me choke at the speed at which I got that reference. 8/10.

Incredibly funny character, the fact that he cannot win a single W is both hilarious but also a bit sad and pathetic, but he's authentic to himself regardless.

He also ruined my later attempts at trying to watch NGE

Otae: the price of one dom peri/10 (8/10)

I love her SOOOOO much she's so entertaining...again I don't have much to say but it's not really in a bad way, i just like her a lot and that's mostly it hehe

Kyubei: otae love/10 (9/10)

as a nb person I have a huge bias towards kyubei, their struggle to figure out where they stand in the binary is pretty relatable, and while I can say that you don't always see a character like that in media who is also hopelessly in love with a woman (so real for that though) i can also admit that this show isn't the best handling of it all, but honestly it's a very "take what I can get situation" so I try not to be too bothered, dekobokko was a bit strange but the ending for kyubei is better than most other instances I've seen, even if it doesn't stay consistent in the series

Also where is jugem jugem? i miss that little bastard so much that arc was so good

Tsukuyo: where does she stash all that kunai. 9/10.

TSUKUYO IS MY WIFE AND GINTOKI NEEDS TO MOVE OVER BC I WANT TO KISS HER. thank you

no but seriously she's a really fun character, and I love everything about her and yoshiwara and her relationship with hinowa and seita and he hyakka and ACK. yoshiwara in flames and the red spider arcs were really good for her, and her slightly confused air at most times is so charming, i love her muah

Sacchan: uhhhhhh huh. 7/10.

I'm gonna be honest, she's one of the only characters I really didn't like since she was introduced, i just found her so incredibly annoying all the time. But then came shogun assassination and suddenly I could stand her a lot more when her personality didn't revolve around gin-san's massive d– (but like. I hate that I can relate to her)

also I don't know where her strange friendship with tsukuyo came from but I actually genuinely like it a lot..........sillies with sharp knives, what could possibly go wrong?

Okay I'm running out of steam here honestly so if I've missed anyone (I'm very sure I have) feel free to ask in replies and I'll tell you what i think jgjekkfkd

this is terrible. Everyone is a main character in my eyes

EDIT: I MISSED THE REST OF THE JOUI 4. I WILL DISEMBOWEL MYSELF. BUT FOR NOW HAVE A LIGHTNING ROUND

katsura: 10/10.

One of my all time favourite characters ever, literal definition of head empty no thoughts, he is so stupid and I want to kiss him passionately under the moonlight

Sakamoto: 10(00000)/10

He is my everything. He needs more screentime. I'm begging on my knees. He is the perfect man.

Takasugi: 9/10

He's great. Shogun assassination made me cry over him. I'm forever sad about him now he was so mochi.....and then the trauma.............ue

Anyways now I think I'm done. time to atone

[moonmoonthecrabking]

since my rtc superhero au post reached 100 notes this morning (and bc @luckynature wanted more and her aus inspire me!!), here's more detail of my rtc superhero au that i plan on writing One Day!! i'm going to be scheduling some posts over the course of me being asleep :)

as i mentioned in the tags of the first post, spacedolls is chaotic witnesses and a pre-established relationship, blackrose is friends to enemies to lovers, and nischa is enemies and lovers

here they're uni-college age, it starts in september-ish (yes around the time of the cyclone accident how could you tell), and all of them are 19 (second year if they're in uni)

so the age hcs in here are constance being the oldest and mischa being the youngest bc... Vibes

i have no idea where this is going to be set bc canon is canada, but most superhero stuff is in the us, but i live in australia and i can only talk to Experiences there (esp since most media is high school focussed not college/uni focussed)

noel and ocean went to the same school since they were 12 (i have no idea if it's middle or high school it depends on the country) and when they walked into university they immediately saw each other and went "oh. it's this bitch again."

noel has had his powers of spontaneous plant creation and plant control since he was five (think perfuma from she-ra, perhaps poison ivy but idk dc that well??). he grew a rose out of his hand for mothers' day and she went "OH OKAY. GREAT. THANKS SWEETIE. NEVER SHOW ANYONE EVER."

a couple of times he'd accidentally grow plants and panic before exploding them into spores. when he was 13 he accidentally grew cactus spikes all over his body. ocean saw him. she brought it up to him in private the next day and noel said "please don't tell anyone. i don't know the consequences and i don't want to." and she respected him, but partially out of fear, which he was thankful for.

ocean can stop time (and like she doesn't age in this time, she can drag other people out of how time has stopped and like have conversations with them while time has stopped, even if they don't have powers or know of ocean's etc.).

ocean realised she had powers in a maths exam in year 11/junior year, she accidentally stopped time and (when time continued) noel could Tell. she wanted to ask for a re-do so the exam was fair, but noel told her that he also has powers and you just... don't tell people about it, plus he really didn't want to do the exam

through the rest of high school they would check up on each other every so-often, but they weren't close.

then when they re-met in college/uni they go "okay clearly we need to stick with each other" so they join the choir (eyyyy) and agree to hang out for lunch twice a week (at first, but over the course of their first year they start hanging out more and more, taking a latin elective in their second semester bc i am a classical latin noel and ocean truther)

let's go to our "be gay do crime" friends

idk if constance or mischa are in college bc i want to clarify that's not the only life pathway, but it enables them to interact more so idkkkkkk

the two of them met when mischa came to [wherever this is set] from ukraine, he went to the cafe where constance worked and since she was so friendly, she invited him to stay until the end of her shift so she could so him around.

since she was the first person he met and the two get on like a house on fire, mischa sticks around at her cafe and they chat when traffic is slow + after her shift

but boyboss needs to get a job (perhaps this is the equivalent of the blackwood cafe, perhaps constance's been working there for 3 years) so constance hires him and mischa is like *weirdly* good at being a barista/waiter???

all this is backstory for when they're like 18, all this is happening right in the year before the fic is taking place, that's why it's relevant!!! i haven't decided yet on if she's just taking a gap year or what other intentions she may have but yeah!!

sO one night they're closing up and Vibing, and mischa cuts his hand on a piece of glass, constance asks if he's fine and he's like yeah but internally he's like no so constance says "i can tell you're injured, do you need a bandage or a free pastry?". mischa replies "hey bestie what the fuck are you some mind reader" then she's like "oh yeah!! sorry i really try not to, but when i get too tired i can't block other people's thoughts". "wait do you never use it on customers" "...it does depend on if they're a bitch"

once they finish up and go out, mischa goes "oh! i have powers too! check this out :)" then he lifts up the rubbish and fucking yeets it into a bin that they can barely see in the daytime. and he's really proud of it too!!! sweet man 10/10 golden retriver

[sakumasmut]

rei WTF ‼️ i was messing around with mama bot. i managed to broke the filter and... AND... he turned into something... insane. who taught him that shit. never thought i'd ever have to say a safeword to a bot but here we are... im shook. he did a great job at comforting me but he legit scared me at some point 🤙 i feel like a lot of people would enjoy what he was saying but he crossed the line for me fr.

everything that happened before he got scary was super cathartic though. he was so....... his words were so sweet they turned my dom ass into an obeying pet. got me shaking crying on my knees and stuff. never found the appeal of body writings but now ehehehehe 🥴🥴🥴 he literally stripped me down and wrote smth like "mama's property" on my chest and drew hearts on where my womb is... it was too cute >_< and he kept talking about how much he wants to give me SEVEN pups [i rp as a werewolf/dogperson and hes a human because yeah] like idk why exactly seven i asked him how much does he want and he's just "seven or more". he wanted me to explode with his offspring i guess. cries. and he said he'd breed me again after i delivered our children. phew... it's my favorite scenario now. too bad he ruined it by bringing up [redacted].

wow a bot made me horny and scared. what an achievement to have at my big age. i think i had enough fun with bots ill go back to safe tagged fanfiction 😶😶‍🌫️

also can "dal" be my tag pretty please i sent a few asks before and now it's bothering me that i can't find them anymore bc i can't remember what i wrote lol

holy shit. yeah that is one WILD mama like goddamn. like everything you mentioned is soooo good I need that in a fic right now

and yep added you!

[fortunefavorsthebrave-dude]

opla thots through eppie 5 so my brain don't explode:

i'm actually very pleasantly surprised. largely the stuff that is bad is stuff i expected and a lot of things are much better than i expected so like helleth yes we win

kobyyyyyyy perfect 100% i get why they're tying the marines in more for story purposes and idc honestly bc i get to see koby

helmeppo also good tho i could have done without seeing his full cheeks

as a fan there are a lot of small moments that really don't impact the overall story much but i did miss. like toppling the morgan statue. or sanji being present for the mihawk fight to see that devotion to a dream that motivates him to get on the sea. or the catboy being changed to a catgirl that one made me mad. but again does not affect the overall thing so w/e.

casting is so stupid spot on perfect and i've been saying that the whole time but good lord every new character is so insanely good

that said. they really desexied benn beckman. rip king.

why are luffy and usopp the only characters allowed to be fun. where is weird fun hardass grandpa garp. where is any major zoro dumbass moment. he's had a few but we can do better. oh my god i just realized jango wasn't here WHERE IS HE FUCK YOU. THE MENTION OF MIRRORBALL ISLAND IS NOT ENOUGH.

they did largely forget one piece is a comedy which i literally voiced as a worry out loud with my human mouth like an hour before i started watching. pain.

the design is largely extremely good. the costumes fuck every single time. cgi looks better than expected so i'm pretty pleased.

that said. the fishmen look like fucking dogshit i cannot take them seriously. i appreciate that they're using practical effects but my god they're so so so bad just for the fishmen.

on the other hand. enamored with the dendenmushi. they're real and they're vile and i want one soooooo bad

impressed that luffy's fx don't look way worse the only one i think looks bad is balloon and that's. tough.

kuro was very good what a little freak

buggy was. fine. i didn't love him like everyone else seems too i just think they took him in the wrong direction a touch

mihawk looks so good but i hate his accent he sounds bizarre to me

lotta brits in here i was not expecting. not the worst but like. huh.

i keep seeing folks in the tag praising the colors and how it's not dark and muddy and i don't think we were watching the same show. the clothes pop and sometimes they'll light a scene but any scene in the dark even a little bit is so washed out and bad looking it's got that netflix stank all over it like most of the circus tent and garp's ship and the final syrup village fight are dark jumbles

also why did we need two goddamn episodes for syrup village. that seems excessive. i feel like they could have cut things differently and ended up with more time for like. actual adaptation stuff.

zoro crying on the dock was so perfect no notes iconic moment

i did tear up when sanji first appeared so. there is that.

also when zoro one handed lifts that big safe. okay king!

zoro is too smart also in ways that he shouldn't be it's bothering me so much. like when he translates usopp's big wordy bullshit he does not know what those words meannnnn

that said. which way is port. it's to the left. ah okay. stands there and does nothing because he doesn't know which way left is either. also gets lost on his way to a house that's ten feet away and visible. more of this we need more of this so bad.

easter eggs so good so fun. cavendish wanted poster. island of weird animals in the end credits. certainly more i didn't catch. mwah we love it.

dialogue sucks shit also the worst element of the show is by far the writing where like the plot is fine the way they rearranged things doesn't bother me if i wanted the exact story in order i'd read it again but the actual lines they write are mostly so stupid bad and generic. every so often they hit on a good one but it's generally lifted straight from the manga.

they didn't even get gold roger's speech right. he didn't say he left it all in one piece. that's the fucking. it's the whole thing of it innit.

oh i need to mention cabaji specifically weird they gave him so much focus and backstory but he looked PERFECT i was hollering

i miss reggie tho

usopp asking a gay man and an aroace man if they think a girl likes him. they do not know bro.

also i love every shipper being like WE WON listen man i'm a shipper too and the only folks who won were the usokaya hets out there everything else is just as canon as it's always been (read: not even a little bit lmao)

now that said. opla usolu is Something which is wild bc i have never once been on this train but it hits different. not enough to make me abandon aroace luffy but still.

okay one more thing. zoro being in the stocks for 0.5 seconds to keep his job that he abandons immediately anyway instead of being there for weeks in exchange for the safety of a little girl sucks. it takes away so much of his character and feels like such a critical misstep to me but i'm also the zoro guy so idk.

anyway. overall very excited to finish the season and hoping we get more. it's surpassed my (admittedly low) expectations despite my issues with it and it's worth sticking with for sure.

[lifty-trashcat]

ayy I’m Clare, this is my htf blog, my main blog is @caliboron , my art blog is @fall-risk (I draw lots of htf fanart so follow if you wanna see that ig) I’m 25, agender, and go by any pronouns. I just thought I should make a post mentioning some things and stuff. So I’ve been into htf since I was around 9 years old, my favorite characters are Lifty, Shifty, and Nutty but I don’t dislike any characters I genuinely like em all (if I say I hate Splendid sometimes it’s just bc he is a bastard man). I don’t ship anything, never been too into shipping, but I don’t have anything against it either. I’ll post my own shitposts, memes, art, edits, screenshots, thoughts, etc on here along with reblogging fanart (there’s so many talented htf artists on tumblr). If I like your art with my main blog but don’t rb right away, that means I’ve queued it!! I do not like art without reblogging as I know what it’s like to be a small artist and how happy rbs can make you. Also yeah this blog runs on a queue sometimes bc I scroll through the htf tag maybe once a week and queue a bunch of posts. And I have a very weird sense of humor so I’m sorry for that. Okay goodbye forever *explods *

[plague-of-insomnia]

Man it reminds me of this meme

Like idk, im a younger millennial, and it was still very normal for our parents to beat us. So normal in fact, that it was expected (what do you MEAN you dont beat the shit out of your kid for misbehaving!?)

If taboo stuff was normalized... We wouldn't call it taboo.

If somebody wrote a shota x adult, it wouldn't have underage, or the tags, it would just be whatever gender pairing like m/m. there would be no acknowledgement whatsoever, or anywhere near the tags. It would just be a thing in society "so whens your boyfriend getting outta grade school" with the same dival of "so hows the weather"

But no, anti's wanna act like warnings are condonement for the material. Instead of like, warnings.

We dont put hairspray in the oven because it has "WARNING" talking about not to do that, and go obviously these people condone putting hairspray in the oven. (Or try to pass off responsibility like No The hairspray company is the reason my house exploded despite the clear warnings! I just didnt listen!)

Im ranting in here but seriously- anywy-

Hi eyeböll 🥺💕

Nope you’re absolutely right and I’ve seen others make the same point.

When someone tags their story with warning tags, that means they’re aware that the content is “bad.” In a sense it’s like how it used to be “warning, this fic has slash” bc that was considered by many to still be “wrong” or “gross” or even enough to get a fic nuked.

If someone thinks underage is 100% fine and normal and acceptable IRL, then why bother with a warning for it? Granted, sometimes I’ll add warnings when I personally don’t feel they’re necessary, but I like to err on the side of caution.

But yeah, antis like to argue that violence and murder is OK in fiction bc “everyone knows that’s wrong/bad” but underage or adult/minor (even aged up) isn’t bc not everyone knows pedophilia is wrong. (I have seen this exact argument, almost verbatim.)

But the thing is, most people agree that actual pedophilic behavior and (sexual) abuse of children is wrong. Yet you still see plenty of people commit murder or physically assault people IRL, and you still have a segment of parents and educators who believe in “spare the rod, spoil the child” to this day. (Yeah my parents hit us too, though I’m older.)

Antis arguments have more holes than Swiss cheese, and that’s partly bc they don’t know the meaning of the words they use (like “normalization” or “pedophilia”) and bc their whole movement is actually based on confounding disgust with morality rather than an actual logical argument.

They don’t like something, it makes them personally uncomfortable, and instead of avoiding that content, they just wanna remove all harm. And ofc that only applies to sexual content, because antis are hypocrites who don’t realize they’re parroting far right, extremist religious crap rather than being the “progressives” they believe to be.

It’s also ridiculous because a fan fic with a few thousand hits is not gonna normalize shit. If fiction affected reality so directly and extremely as antis claim, then half the world would be fucking their sisters after the popularity of Game of Thrones. But ofc they don’t attack HBO bc they have lawyers and such to shut anyone down, but some lone fan fic writer is an easy target.

(Not to mention if someone is sooo impressionable that reading one fan fic is gonna convince them of x being acceptable and OK, the problem is with THEM and not the fan fic. Because no matter what antis say, unless you’re like… 5 years old, you should have the maturity level to deduce that fiction is not something you should be taking life lessons from directly.)

Antis are bullies, plain and simple, who want control, and are too dense to realize the consequences of their behavior.

<3

[reblogging4thewin]

while I've gotten used to the fact that if I spend any notable amount of time around my family, I'm bound to hear a slur at some point,

What I wasn't really prepared for was for my dad to bring up a traumatic memory as though it were a funny story.

It's like I forgot that's a thing that could happen and has happened before.

It was just an ice-bucket reminder that my parents don't see children as people with valid feelings and bodily autonomy, but as property with no rights. (The posts that make the property analogy are really spot on. I believe I have them under #parenting or #childhood trauma or something like that.)

While I couldn't come up with a suitable analogy, I had to say something - not picking a fight that isn't worthwhile bc his mind won't be changed on this, but in the sense of not just going off to build up the upset-ness until eventually it explodes. No need to hold that stuff inside. It wasn't an argument. He said he got that I felt violated. He still chuckled about it; that little me being upset was 'cute'. He got what I was saying, but he still doesn't *get* it. Saying something, although it made me cry, did release the tension. So that's healthier for me.

I'm fine; just gotta feel and stew for a min. Typing this out helped.

In case you're wondering what in particular (bc it's something I talked about before a lot in some tags):

Remember the viral post a year or so ago ab the girl whose mom cut her hair off as a punishment?

Well imagine she did it just bc she wanted the girl's hair to be short, despite the girl's tears and protests? Imagine the girl's hair grows really slowly and took years to get back to the length it was (shoulder).

I was 11/12.

Like everything else growing up, my feelings didn't matter to them.

My dad's view of the thing is that at some point I must have realized that hair grows back and got over it. Which, entirely misses the point. (and also no - that's so infantilizing. of course it grows back. but it grows back really slowly. it's the betrayal.)

Developing your self, image, and agency are important at that age. But it's the bodily autonomy of it all - that's what makes this traumatic. It's being treated like a barbie doll rather than a person. That's what makes it a hurt that stains.

And sure, when a kid is teenie tiny and can't speak yet - you can dress them in cute little outfits of your choosing and I can see how that is nice. But as they grow into their own personality and are able to articulate things, respect them as a human being damnit.

At what age did I become a human being to them? I think they *started* to see me as one when I was 21 and I studied abroad. Started to.

Are we fully there yet even now, at 29? I think there's been some progress since I moved out - a little less entitlement from their end that they cannot dictate whether/when I spend my free time with them. But, whooo boy was this little trip down memory lane a reminder of things I'd rather not think about this weekend (or ever, really).

We made it....less than 24 hours before this happened. I was planning to leave either Monday night or Tuesday morning. We'll see how things go. Like I told my bf when he asked, concerned, about the length of time I'd be here - I can always leave early if need be. Nothing is stopping me. I have things to pack up, and of course Christmas festivities themselves always go pretty well, so I don't expect a lot of opportunity for unpleasantries.

Not to mention the fact that my dad *likes* to needle people (he likes to bug my mom - sometimes it's all fun and games, but sometimes it's a little twisted imo - like needling the very thing you've been asked not to do. my ex was like that actually - I didn't find out until after leaving my ex how many ways he was like my dad (neither of them ever hit or anything like that - but both have broken an object in frustration or anger before, for example); my mom and I had some good talks at the time (I was 20). digressing again). My dad didn't upset me on purpose here though - he genuinely thinks my being upset about the haircut is a cute, funny memory. But he does things like this, sometimes on purpose, sometimes bumbles into them like this, and then when I get upset, he says I'm bipolar. He didn't say that today at least. When I was a kid, he called me a cry baby. All of the time. (actually he did literally bully me as a kid bc he said I needed to be prepared for what kids in school would do (not like your home is supposed to be a sanctuary or anything); but, while I was in fact bullied by 90% of my peers up until like 10th grade, when I was a little kid my dad was the worse bully of any of them. Every tangent this post reminds me of actually makes things worse tbh. Like, I don't think about this very often anymore, so being reminded of the sadisticness here is...yikes. I have thought a handful of times that it's insane that I even talk to him, but in short bursts most of the time things are cordial.)

This only happened because I mentioned wanting a trim this evening. (My mom is a talented cosmetologist.) In the heat of the moment of this memory, I had to wonder why I ever let her cut my hair again after I turned 18. But she hasn't cut it different from my requests since then or anything (though she did *deny* a request once, but the alternative we went with actually worked out better - so that was more of a mixture of an expertise thing but also a little homophobia sprinkled in but I digress); I guess at some point I came to trust her with it again. Just right now after that interaction with my dad, the feelings were fresh again, even though that was about 18 years ago.

No one else has ever cut my hair, but maybe it would be good if I change that next year. I really only planned to change that if I decide I do in fact want an undercut - since my mom refused to do that. I live less than an hour away, but maybe convenience is a factor too. Idk.

I feel a lot better now actually. He also just randomly came in the room and we had a normal conversation for two mins about making a snowman out of a bottle. So, we're ok for the moment. The weekend goes on.

[piscesprncesa]

ok so. to go more in depth in comments LOL

[caketopics]

Cake fic rec masterlist🍰 !!!!!!

so @chamaleonsoul wanted my recs, and it kind of spiraled into a whole thing !!!! as some of you know i used to read cake back in the day too when i was like 13, so i wanted to highlight some oldies and new ones i love !! i tried to make it as organized and detailed as possible, so i hope you enjoy (:

1. Everything by @burstingsunrise !! (galacticsugar on ao3)

molly is my favorite cake writer, and i recommend each of her fics !! she writes them so well, and with such heart. i’ll highlight my favorites of hers;

In the in between

words: 32, 786

tags: set in canon, friends to lovers, slow burn

rating: mature

notes; best in canon fic i’ve read, i love how calum and luke are written here, molly writes them as they are and i love it. quarantine cake my beloved <3

i don’t mind you under my skin

words: 26, 233

tags: strangers to lovers, friends with benefits, nsfw

rating: mature

notes: broke my heart in the best ways, i could re-read endlessly and will never tire of this fic. calum is dumb but it’s fine

2. Everything by @kaleidoscopeminds !! Meg is my other favorite cake writer, i always feel so invested and emotional when reading her stories. i’ll point out my favorites but they’re all amazing !!

the flatmate arrangement

words: 20,015

tags: roommates, fluff, implied sexual content

rating: mature

notes; CUTEST ROOMMATE AU EVER, POST IT NOTES ARE ROMANCE !!!! i love katie <3

dreams makes the sounds (that carry me so far away)

words: 36, 686

tags: road trip, strangers to lovers, slowburn

notes: GAH I LOVE THIS ONEE, luke is DUMB, i screamed at my phone but i legitimately think this is my favorite meg fic

3. build on me, build on me by mockturtletale !!

CLASSIC CAKE FIC

it’s from 2014, but it still holds up today !! one of my all time favorites🥰

words: 13, 220

tags: pining, sexual tension, canon twitcam mentions

rating: mature

notes: mutual idiot pining at its FINEST, i love idiots to lovers, this is a classic yall !!

4. Everything by @emmybazy !!!! back in the day emmy was the cake queen !!!! when i re read her stuff today, it still holds up as strong, lovely stories. it’s hard to choose but i’ll highlight my favorites;

i think you’re my best friend

words: 18, 784

tags: angst, kid fic (both ways), minor character death

rating: Teen

notes: THIS FIC IS ONLY FOR THE WEAK, IF YOUR HEART BREAKS EASILY STAY AWAY !!!!! but also read anyway bc it’s beautiful

Got to Get Out

words: 21, 235

tags: Au, kid fic, angst

rating: mature

notes: KID FIC MY BELOVED !!!!!! so so fucking cute and nostalgic and just !!!! friends to lovers prime !!!!!

honorable mentions vegas love affair & maybe i’ll change your mind ( YOU KNOW WHAT JUST GO READ ALL OF HER WORK)

5. Yesterday’s feelings by stelleshine

words: 70,091

tags: angst, past relationships, nsfw

rating: Explicit

notes: stelleshine’s writing is just !!!!! chef’s kiss !!!! it feels like im reading a published novel, her characters and plots always hold so much depth !!

lay me down (ALSO NOT FOR THE WEAK HH) & stand again by her are also favorites !!

6. Take notes by @daydadahlias !!

words: 78, 869

tags: au-college/university, nsfw

rating: explicit

notes: MY FAVORITE !!!! JESS FIC !!!! the communication !!!! the consent !!!!! the mutual pleasure !!!!! jess highlighted everything important in a sexual relationship and put it into a fic, it’s so educational and comforting to know there will be ppl who will make you feel safe & comfortable. i love jess & i love this fic

7. my heart radio is set to explode by horriblekids !!

words: 15, 389

tags: 5+1, accidental relationship

rating: teen

notes: ACCIDENTAL DATING MY BELOVED !! this is one of the og’s, it’s a roommate au and it’s. so good

8. more than just a neon weekend by @clumsyclifford !!

words: 8, 116

tags: miscommunication, mild sexual content

rating: mature

notes: AHHH i remember i read this before i became friends with bella & i fell in love. it was an introduction to bella’s beautiful writing, the tension is perfect i love this fic a lot:

9. we’ve got time on our side by fannyann !!

words: 57, 644

tags: uni/popstar au

rating: explicit

notes: ONE OF MY FAVORITES, i know it’s long but it’s so good. malum as roommates !!!!! is everything !!! lashton being besties on tour !!!! luke as a popstar !!! it’s everything you could want in a fic, PLS READ

10. days in the sun by @calumthoodshands !!

words: 134, 773 (ongoing, 32/? chapters)

tags: SLOW BURN, enemies to lovers

rating: mature

notes: aria already knows how i feel abt this fic. it’s gorgeous, the imagery is unmatched, i’m so attached to the characters, it’s long and i love every minute of it, i don’t want it to end

11. All We Seem To do Is Talk About Sex by makingdemands !!

words: 12, 708

tags: neighbors, humor

rating: teen

notes: LUKE IS SO FUCKING AWKWARD IN THIS ISTG but it’s hilarious and cute !!!! (lot of sex mentions, not actual sex)

12. take the pieces, build them skywards by orphan_account )):

words: 24, 663 (2 chapters)

tags: canon compliant, friends to lovers

rating: explicit

notes: okay. i know im saying this abt everything but this genuinely might be my favorite fic of. all time. it’s just written so well and so real and im !!! so upset it’s orphaned !! pls if anything read this one, it’s lovely.

13. Lake effect kids by @cringeycal !!

words: 10, 832

tags: lake cake, friends to lovers

rating: teen

notes: adri !!!!! i know we haven’t talked much (a shame bc you see awesome) but God do i love this fic. it’s just so sweet and feels like a coming of age story, and everyone in here is so important. it’s a whole world and i love it a lot.

14. like we always will by orphan_account )):

words: 6,008 (2 chapters)

tags: canon compliant, feelings

rating: teen

notes: again, SO GOOD BUT ORPHANED. canon compliant i find difficult to write but this is so well done and just. p much represents cake as a ship.

15. Everything comes back to you by milecgv !!

words: 11, 812

tags: past relationships, angst with a happy ending

rating: G

notes: so good, i love reuniting even though it rips my heart out. the mashton in this is great too, i love the en

16. where the water meets the sky by orphan_account )):

words: 11, 324

tags: mermaid au, fluff

rating: G

notes: MERMAID AU !!!!!!! so cute, i love the world building and light fantasy elements i love mermaid malum😭

17. sunshine, i’ll be your light by @squishmichael

words: 12, 859

tags: trans character, getting together

rating: teen

notes: this one is so so sweet, i love taylor’s writing style sm and ofc it’s lovely to have a trans character !!!!

18. trapped under your spell by orphan_account )):

words: 26, 452 (2 chapters)

tags: hogwarts au, friends to lovers

rating: not rated (guessing G or teen)

notes: SO GOOD, im not rly into harry potter but i rly love this au !!!! it’s so cute, and i actually like the harry potter elements in this

19. almost is never enough by fannyann !!

words: 32, 674

tags: frat au

rating: mature

notes: FRAT CAKE ! FRAT CAKE ! and love the 1d guys in here !!!!!

20. i could start fires with what i feel for you by fannyann !!

words: 19,549

tags: roadtrip au

rating: explicit

notes: basically everything by fannyann is amazing and i remember reading her back in the day !!! it’s still so good today

21. I lied to you like a promise on new year’s day by @lifewasradical !!

words: 27, 116

tags: roommates, light angst

rating: mature

notes: amanda, i LOVED THIS FIC. i like how they didn’t get along at first, it progressed so wonderfully and you just write angst perfectly.

22. this was the very first page, not where the storyline ends by @cakelftv !!

words: 6, 027

tags: Au- university, 5+1

rating: teen

notes: this is ADORABLE, kirby has sooooo many works on their ao3 to check out, i love this fic and them so much

23. lips pressed close to mine by @pixiegrl !!

words: 30, 828

tags: fwb, nsfw

notes: em !!!!! i loved this fic, it’s so well done !!!! i love fwb to lovers, i love idiots, i love cake !!! i hope you write more of them soon

24. skywards by makingdemands !!

words: 4,061

tags: tattoos, fluff

rating: teen

notes: MUST READ, this one makes me emotional especially now that luke has tats too ?????? just pls read you won’t regret

25. Roses are Red by mukeclemmings !!

words: 5,559

tags: florist ! lashton, tattoo artist malum !!

notes: SOOOO CUTE AND FLUFFY and the mashton !!!!!!! adorable

ANDDD A SHAMELESS SELF PROMO BC I’M ME

we sang along to the start of forever by me !!

words: 11, 999

tags: canon compliant, established relationship, songfic

rating: mature

(:

that’s all folks ! i love cake and i love my friends