#bc I know ava comes back but that moment in time

[tally-kat]

A contrapuntal poem inspired by @two-bees-poetry for Ava and Beatrice :)

[ilovehugslikealotalot]

The Woman she Is

gif by azertyrobaz

req: maybe just a tiny one-shot? I know you’re win the middle of writing many fics so no pressure. But Ava Coleman x fem!reader? Where r and Ava have been in a relationship and no one knew bc it was secret, r has a daughter and just loves Ava, even calling her Mom. You can decide the kids name maybe she could be mixed? but basically one day the kid has like a bad day and won’t talk to Miss Howard and finally gets r to try and talk to her but she wants to talk to Ava. (I haven’t seen anyone write for mom!ava) idk what else. But I’m just in the mood for mom Ava. Also, please put mom figure Melissa to y/n and Mel has her happy ending in relationships :,)

Been waving this one off for a while so here ya go anon! :)

Their daughter’s name is Hallie and it’s implied that she’s mixed.

————————————

“I even cut your strawberries into hearts!” Ava exclaimed placing a plate of pancakes in front of Hallie, she also put some fruit on the plate and a placed a small glass of orange juice on the table. “Tank you, mom!” She smiled, she ate her breakfast quickly, throughly enjoying her strawberries and taking nibbles of her pancake at a time. Y/n was upstairs getting ready, already having eaten. Ava was packing the little girls lunch, making sure to put her water bottle in the pocket of her backpack.

“Good morning to my two favorite girls!” Y/n smiled, placing her bag down on one of the chairs placing a kiss on Hallie’s bunny cheeks. “Good morning, Mama!” “Good morning, baby”

Y/n also placed a small peck on Ava’s lips, she might’ve been stubborn and might not do her job sometimes, but she really cared for the kids, she always wanted to be a mom.

Now, that dream has come true, she’s a mom to the cutest daughter, though, she might not be hers biologically that didn’t stop the little girl from calling her Mom. The best part was she gets to help raise this little girl with the love of her life. She may have been a player but she knew when she saw y/n that she was the one. As cheesy as it sounds, Ava couldn’t have fallen faster or harder. Falling for y/n was like falling face first into pavement for Ava.

They all got into Ava’s car, Hallie sat in her booster seat and happily played on her iPad as they drove to the school. Her backpack, sat next to her the sequins shining in the sunlight. Ava never thought that she was gonna actually fall in love with one of her Co-workers. She’d flirt, yes, but never actually date any of them. That was were y/n came in, she transferred to Abbott as a new first grade teacher. She charmed everyon

Ava was playing ‘Pick Up Your Feelings’ by Jazmine Sullivan, it was one of her favorites, actually. Even Hallie seemed to have learned some of the lyrics from how many times Ava’s played it. Though, if anything, Ava listens to Beyoncé the most.

You need to hurry and pick up your, ooh, feelings While I'm up cleaning

Boy please (boy please, oh) I don't need you (I don't need you)

Y/n let a smile take over her face as she looked out her window, nothing could’ve ruined this moment. Everything she could’ve needed was right here. Her life was perfect as it was and she wouldn’t change it for anything.

Her job might’ve not been a six figure paying job but it brought her memories that were priceless, her job might’ve been stressful but it helped the next generation. She couldn’t have wished for anything more. “You okay, baby?” Ava asked, placing a hand on her thigh, the principal’s brows furrowed, stealing a glance at her girlfriend.

”Yeah, just a little tired, I could go for some coffee right now” The woman yawned, regretting her choice of just drinking orange juice. Ava smirked, she made a U-turn to Starbucks, “We have some extra time anyway so why not make a pit stop?” Hallie giggled in the back, “Can I get a cake pop, pwease!”

Y/n nodded, she thought it was cute when she got lazy and forgot to pronounce the ‘L’ sound. It seemed like yesterday she couldn’t talk at all. “Well, I already know what to get everyone, then!”

——————

Ava made jokes about how the barista looked like 50 cent the whole ride to Abbott. They arrived a little bit early but they didn’t mind, Getting out of the car, Ava unbuckled Hallie out of her seat. “Ready for school, lil’ curly fry?” She smiled, chuckled as she tousled the little girl’s curly hair that was nicely slicked back into a half up, half down hairdo.

Hallie threw up a thumbs up, holding Ava’s hand and y/n’s in the other, not many cars were parked in the lot. The three entered the only person visible was Mr. Johnson.

He nodded at the to grown woman and smiled at the little girl. It was safe to say that Mr. Johnson was Hallie’s favorite person at school, besides Mel and Barb.

Ava gave y/n a soft kiss, and gave Hal a peck on the forehead. “Have a good day, you two” she said before walking to the break room, y/n unlocked her classroom door, letting Hallie in, she flicked on the lights. She usually just let her color until the bell rang signaling that she needed to go to Barb’s class.

“I have to go to the break room, will you be okay by yourself for a few minutes?” Y/n asked, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. The little girl nodded, her attention not faltering from her coloring page.

Leaving her classroom, she trusted her young daughter to finish the coloring page, quickly coming into the break room she grabbed a donut happily munching down on the sweet treat, “There ya are! Was wondering you was! Where’s the kid?” Melissa questions, looking around to make sure she wasn’t hiding. Y/n laughed, leaning against the counter, “In my room, I’ll go grab her for you”

Being a woman of her word, the teacher walked back to her class, before she reached the door she heard a thud and a “uh oh..”

Y/n hurried into the room to see Hallie standing next to her desk, a cup in hand. She tried hiding the coffee puddle that was clearly on the ground, even her clothes were stained a dark brown color.

“Hal..what did you do!” She exclaimed, picking up the little girl and sitting her on the chair, quickly cleaning up the mess. “I’m sorry Mama, I didn’ mean to” her little head fell to her lap, seeing her clothes now ruined, she pouted, hating when she made her mama upset.

“It’s alright, sweet girl. Just be more careful, okay?” She cooed, kissing her cheek with a smile to let her know she wasn’t upset. “Go see your Mom while I clean this up,” the girl nodded, hopping off the chair and hurriedly running out of the classroom.

On the way, Hallie saw Melissa she waved and hugged the second grade teacher, “Mornin’ to you too, kid” she said sweetly, missing the coffee stains on the child’s clothes. Continuing her journey to her Mom’s office, she knocked and spoke in between the crack between the door and frame. “Mommy!” She called, the sounded muffled by the metal, shuffling was heard on the other side, Ava opened the door with a sweet smile.

A cough was heard behind the girl, The principal lifted her head to see a whole camera crew behind her. “Oh, damn” she let her jaw drop, ushering her daughter into the office, she stared the crew down as they all wore shocked faces.

“Go on doing whatever it is y’all do”

Ava closed the door, turning to the little girl who was sitting in her chair looking at the picture of Y/n, Hallie, and Ava. It was the picture they took at when they had gone on vacation last year. “You like it, baby girl?” She chuckled, grabbing some news clothes in the makeshift closet The principal made in her closet. It was quite impressive how she could hardly do her job as a principal but somehow renovate a old storage room into a high fashion closet in less than a day.

Hallie quickly got her clothes on, hugging the taller woman tightly. “Bye Mommy!” Though the morning was joyful and peaceful, since the coffee accident Hallie’s little day went tragically wrong. She had miss placed her lunch, hurt her knee during P.E., she couldn’t color inside the lines, She couldn’t even sleep during nap time because this girl in her class sleep kicked, At lunch time. Miss Howard had sat the little girl down.

“Sweetheart, what’s the matter? You’ve been upset all day!” She exclaimed, listening intently for an answer, the little girl only crossed arms and huffed, realizing she had no other way to get her to crack due to y/n being in a meeting. She brought her to the break room, “Melissa, help me with this one. Do you want to tell Aunt Mel what’s the matter?” Hal only, hugged into the red headed teacher, “Oh, hon..what’s got you in all worked up, huh?” She asked, Hallie finally spoke up huffing, she really did have her mothers attitude.

“I want my Mommy!” She pouted, crossing her arms, Barb groaned, “She’s more stubborn than her Mother, but we can’t get y/n she’s in a meeting!”

No one on the staff had figured out y/n was dating Ava let alone it was serious, Hallie had done a pretty good job keeping it on the down low too. Everyone didn’t really put two and two together when they’d see Ava coming out of her car with y/n. Now that Melissa thinks about it, maybe they’re not bestfriends.

Though, Melissa couldn’t jump to conclusions, “Well, I dunno, I guess we’ll-” Melissa was interupted by the sound of a familar sound of yawning as the breakroom door opened, “Oh hello, you three! Everything alright?” Y/n said, dropping her keys and lanyard on the counter, ripping open a granola bar that she had grabbed from the shelf.

“She’s been upset all day and won’t tell anybody the reason why..” Melissa cooed, booping th kindergarteners nose, she only cuddled closer and pouted even more, “she says she wants her Mommy, so here ya go!” The redhead stood up placing the little girl in her mothers arms, y/n sighed knowing it wasn’t her that she wanted.

Y/n comtemplated fessing up, Ava and had had been keeping it under wraps for so long, so surely, they’ll understand. Melissa was like y/n’s work mom, or real mom actually.

”Okay, don’t make a big deal out of this..but i’m dating Ava! Surprise!” Y/n smiled, Barb’s face dropped in shocked, Mel lit up, “I KNEW IT!” she exclaimed, clapping her hand together and jabbing her finger in the younger teachers direction.

Really, the young woman thought their reactions would be more complicated, Well, at least Barb’s. She just kept standing their with her mouth agape. As if the two had been stalking, Janine and Jacob stumbled in, “GREGORY OWES ME!” Jacob squealed, Janine happily shuffled from side to side with that big smile. Gregory stands speechless, looking at the two who’ve dragged him into another one of their adventures.

“Well, I’m gonna take this one to Ava, see y’all!”

—————

“Well, a knock would’ve been nice but come in wit’ yo’ fine self” Ava smirked, biting her lower lip as she eyed her up and down. Y/n rolled her eyes, “what? Acting like you can give me attitude knowing I can eat that body up like Megan Thee Stallion” She slapped her hand on her desk, laughing hard at her own joke. Y/n huffed, closing her eyes trying to hold onto any piece of patience she had left with her girlfriend, someday she really might explode from these jokes. In the mean time, she’ll secretly like them.

“Why you huffin’ and puffin’ like a choo-choo train?” She asked, y/n went to go tell her the reason why she was even in here but Ava was determined in finishing. “Chugga, Chugga, CHOO CHOO!” She howled and slapped her knee, almost falling out of her chair, Hallie began to laugh too. “You kinda do soun’ like a train, Mama” Ava smirked as y/n groaned, “That’s my lil’ curly fry!” She laughed, opening her arms up for the little girl. Hallie giggled, squealing when the principal would tickle her sides.

Y/n’s frustrations quickly disappeared, it had only been 6 months, yet, Ava’s changed so much. They’d been dating for 4 months, only recently did Hallie start saying Mom to Ava. Now that y/n takes a moment to see the impact this woman had on her life and the little human she called her daughter she melted.

Maybe Melissa was wrong for once. They may think that Ava’s rude or stupid for not doing her job, but she cared, no doubt about it. She’d Show softness here and there but never frequently, Lord help them if she ever was caught being nice to Janine.

Y/n noticed too, Ava seemed a little nice since they’d gotton together. Melissa just thinks she’s up to something but y/n couldn’t help but think it was because she was changing as a person, principal, and now…parent.

“She wanted her mommy” Y/n mocked, smirking as Ava’s eyes lit up. She loved that little girl more than any other little girl. She would knowingly drop everything for that girl. “Really? Oh, come ‘ere you cutie!” She hugged her tight, y/n playfully sighed, looking away with her hand on her forehead. Ava chuckled, “You too, doofus” the woman opened her arm out for her girlfriend kissing her lips softly.

A shriek was heard at the door, they whipped their heads around to see the same familiar faces at the door. Melissa’s face was most likely impressed (then again you never know), Janine was probably the one that shrieked as she jumped up and down, Gregory’s eyes were wide, Jacob was frozen like Barbara.

“Uhm, suprise?” Y/n chuckled, looking at Ava kissing her cheek sweetly turning back to them with a large smile.

———

The two women explained to them how long they’ve been dating, the Abbott crew listened carefully and happily. Barb was still in shock, Ava and y/n wasn’t something they thought would actually get together. Sure, they were polar opposites but they fit so well together. The rest of the school day was quite interesting with Melissa lecturing Ava on how if she ever hurt y/n she’s got a guy who take care of the principal real quick. “I got my eye on you, Coleman” Melissa said, with a stern tone, slowly walking back to her class while staring the tall woman down. Y/n snorted, “don’t mind her, she’s just trying to scare you” y/n smiled, hugging Ava tightly, “I know, but I don’t think I’d ever willingly leave you, baby. Someone would have to physically restrain me, I love you and lil’ Hal too much” She admitted all too easily, to her this was all she wanted for the rest of her life. Of course, someday she’d get down on a bended knee, she planned on getting married, maybe even get a dog?

Who knows, only time will tell.

But maybe this won’t even work, then someday they’ll see this as a learning experience. But if there was one thing they everyone knew, was that they were meant to be together, whether or not if it was the right time, place, or even moment.

They’d up together, that’s how it was in every universe. So, whatever happened in this one, maybe they’d mess up and separate or even just drift apart. They needed each other, in every universe.

Time is something no one is Master of, but this story surely ends happily.

——

As the day ended, Melissa waved bye to her colleagues, smiling as she saw y/n and Ava give each other a small peck on the lips, they were cute together that was for sure. Maybe someday she’d-

“Oh my gosh! I’m so sorry!” A voice apologized profusely, Mel had been too focused on the couple in the distance she wasn’t even focusing on where she was walking.

“It’s fine, really” Melissa chuckled, fixing her hair before looking up to see..damn. The woman in front of her was absolutely gorgeous, she felt her heart flutter for second. “Erm, hi, I’m lissame! No, sorry, Melissa! Melissa Schemmenti” she gave a bashful smile, securing her bag onto her shoulder once more.

“I’m Georgia Prescott, the new librarian”

huh. Looks like Abbott’s in for another love story.

———————

the whole thing was rushed 😭

forgive me for this 🙏

[strlingsav]

hii, im not sure if u write dad ghost, but if you don’t mind, could you write ghost coming home from work, happy to see his daughter and wife reader. he got home pretty late, so he puts his daughter to bed and spends time with his wife, leading to you know what 🫣 and soon they hear their daughter opening the door and has to pretend nothing happened.

i’d appreciate if u write this, if not then that’s alright, pls do what makes u comfortable 😌

I'm gonna throw up I love domestic Ghost 😭🤍 ofc I can do this 🤭 thanks for asking!! I changed it a bit, just bc I'm a sucker for a happy ending- literally.

Daughter's name is Ava (short and sweet, not much effort there sorry lol)

Home

– Simon "Ghost" Riley x F!Reader

— Simon returns from deployment.

Explicit sexual content under the cut. Read at your own risk.

Simon saw the lights on from outside. It was late- too late for Ava to be up, so he assumed you'd fallen asleep on the couch waiting for him. The thought brought a rush of warmth over him. How badly he missed you, desperately chasing the memory of your touch, your wonderful smell, but nothing compared to you, real and in the flesh.

Climbing out of his truck, he headed for the front door. He considered himself to be a man with composure, but returning home to his wife and daughter after so long had his heart racing, hands shaking as he put the key in the lock.

He entered quietly, not wanting to wake you, and when he rounded the corner he found you asleep on the couch, as he assumed, but with an arm wrapped around Ava.

The sight alone was enough to make his knees weak. Then, he heard you snore, reaching out to tuck Ava in closer to your chest. He let out a quiet sigh. The ache in his shoulders was unnoticeable now, when he leaned against the door frame and watched the sight before him.

The TV light flashed across your faces, the faces he'd missed the most. He had your photos in his vest at all times, his family, but it never sated the burning in his chest, the indescribable emptiness.

He never imagined himself that way; a father, a husband, but you had him wrapped around your finger and he didn't mind being there. For the first time, with you, he wanted a kid. He wanted something to nurture. You'd brought that out of him, you were so maternal it hurt, and he couldn't help but picture himself right there beside you.

Now, your daughter was 5. It didn't seem so long ago that you'd be at his apartment every weekend, finding every free second to spend together. You were a bit wilder back then, still were, but motherhood suited you. He couldn't deny, watching you through it all only made his love and attraction grow tenfold.

He owed you everything, you'd given him an amazing gift, and reignited the desire to connect, to feel. Though you didn't quite see it that way, he knew he'd spend every waking moment cherishing you.

He slowly sauntered over, pulling the blanket off Ava. He lifted her to his arms, and she stirred, though kept her eyes shut, still lightly snoring. The sound of her breaths, her arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulders, it made him melt. He nuzzled her head into his neck.

He realized he'd woken you up, and you went to stand up when he stopped you with a hand on your thigh.

"I've got her, sweetheart," He said.

You nodded, still disoriented, but happy beyond belief to see your husband, in one piece. You were sure you looked a nightmare, disheveled hair, dry drool on the side of your cheek, sweat lining your brow.

He disappeared down the hall with Ava in his arms, and you took the opportunity to get ready for bed.

Simon entered the master bedroom, finding you tying your hair up. Your eyes met his, shifting form your reflection in the mirror.

You smiled as he neared, your hands reaching out to glide over his shoulders. He pulled you in, a tight embrace, and squeezed once softly. He shut his eyes as he was enveloped by your touch, your smell. Utter ecstasy washed over him to be back in your arms, tangible and real.

He pulled away briefly, pressing his lips to yours, a tender, long kiss. He remembered how long he'd ached to feel you again, and the pure relief was overwhelming.

"Missed you," He said, muffled by your hair.

"I missed you too," You sighed, breathing in his scent. "Everything alright?" You asked, your voice in his ear.

He hummed in response.

"Ava go down okay?"

"She's out for the night, I reckon."

"She fell asleep at 8, think I only lasted until 9. She wanted to wait for her daddy," You said, pulling back.

His hands were still on your waist, his thumb moving in small circles comfortingly.

"S'alright," He said. "You wait up for daddy too?" He asked, his eyes narrowing at you.

You were wearing his shirt, your pyjama shorts were hidden underneath; it was practically a nightgown on you. There was nothing that aroused him more, your soft thighs peeking out from under the shirt, and he knew with all certainty that you weren't wearing a bra. He was hard just thinking about it.

You swatted his arm, "Simon," You scolded, a playful, bashful exclamation.

He pulled you into him again, eating up that coy reaction, you'd do it every time and he adored it more than anything. In reality, he knew you loved just how dirty he could be. Especially after going so long without feeling you, fucking you.

"Can't help it," He muttered. "Been gone too fuckin' long," He breathed.

"It's late- you must be exhausted," You said.

You tried to be reasonable, tried not to keep him up even though you were so desperate for him you were soaked already.

"Never too exhausted for you," He said, his hands travelling up your shirt to feel your skin against his.

He held you tightly, relishing the way you felt in his hands.

You smiled softly, pressing your lips to his gently at first, before he couldn't resist the taste of you and slid his tongue against yours. You whimpered quietly, exhaling against his face, your arms wrapping behind his neck to hold him as close as possible.

He lifted you to his hips with ease, his hands flat against your ass, squeezing teasingly.

"C'mere woman," He muttered against your mouth, making you throw your head back with a laugh.

You slapped a hand over your mouth, remembering your daughter soundly asleep across the hall.

"Oughta do somethin' about that loud mouth," He scolded.

You hummed with intrigue, your eyes glued to his as he walked the two of you to the bed. He landed on top of you as he laid you down on the bed.

"You're so lewd," You teased, surrendering to his body on top of yours.

He hummed, "You ain't even heard half'a what I wanna do to you."

He kissed your neck, delicate kisses that quickly turned hungry and you couldn't help the giggle that escaped your lips. Quieter this time, but enough to make his brow quirk up.

You nodded, "Think I better use my loud mouth," You whispered, your faces inches from each others.

His hands tugged your shorts off your thighs, calloused palms rubbing your soft skin. You shifted up to your elbows, watching with your lip between your teeth.

You went to lift the T-shirt over your head, when he stopped you.

"Leave it on," He said, his lips meeting yours in a reassuring kiss.

You nodded, following his lead as he unbuckled his belt, sitting himself on the edge of the bed. You knelt before him, shooing his hands away so you could do it yourself.

He was all adrenaline and testosterone, beyond aroused at the sight of you on your knees, no pants on, and wearing his shirt.

You slid his briefs down, exposing his cock. You wrapped your hand around his cock, and his head fell back, a sharp inhale raising his chest. When you pumped your hand up and down, he let out a low growl, his hand moving to your cheek with a tenderness nurtured by the time you'd spent apart.

"Christ, love," He breathed.

You didn't want to waste anymore time, and shifted upwards to have your tongue caress the head of his cock, engorged and thick, salty with pre-cum. He shivered, running his hand into your hair.

Wrapping your lips around him, you kept your eyes on his as you applied suction, hollowing your cheeks with vigour, resigned to pleasing him as much as you could. Your hand laid on his knee, the other wrapping around the base of his cock, pumping slowly to meet your lips, saliva already dripping down to add lubrication.

He cursed under his breath, his hand slowly closing into a fist in your hair, his chest rising and falling with every powerful breath. Your tongue massaged every vein and curve of his cock, paying attention to the grunts and groans of satisfaction that left his lips. It was hard not to be aroused by it, the approval in his tone, spoken without words.

Your head bobbing up and down, soft lips wrapped around his cock, silky tongue sliding against him at the same time- it was chilling, overwhelming, in the best way. Your hand continued further up his thigh, a comforting touch, a reminder that you were there, another layer of stimulation as if he needed any.

He groaned, a soft touch to his tone. "Missed your mouth."

You hummed, a thank you, filled with pride.

You were good, an expert in his pleasure just as he was with you. He'd learned every curve and detail of your body, and could break you down in seconds if he wanted to. His ego was broken at this point, pure vulnerability as your mouth sucked his cock, and he didn't mind one bit.

"Won't last long like this, love," He said, a strangled breath from his throat.

You exhaled through your nose, letting him fall from your mouth with a quiet 'pop'. He stood up, helping you across the bed to rest your head on the pillows.

His hands tugged at the shirt on your body, lifting it off your torso to savour the sight of your breasts, supple and inviting. You did the same for him, enjoying the vision before you; his hardened body, the dips and curves of every muscle, glowing with a thin layer of sweat. Your hands ran from his shoulders down to his torso, stopping at the trail of coarse hair disappearing beneath his briefs.

He had his eyes shut, savouring the softness of your hands on his body, shivering with anticipation. Only when his hands reached your breasts did he open his eyes, leaning down to take your nipple in his mouth, gently sucking and licking, teasing the pleasure to come. You shifted, antsy, restless. His other hand had palmed your breast, squeezing the pliable flesh in his hands.

"Fuckin' hell," He breathed, leaning over you.

He kissed your lips again, exploring your body with his hands, his lips not far behind. He reached your hips, slowly sliding your panties down your legs as he leaned in, his hands taking your thighs and pulling them over his shoulders. His lips kissed at the plush skin of your inner thighs, teeth biting into you gently, devouring you.

"Missed the taste of you," He said against you, warm air hitting your pussy, making you shiver.

You laid back, eyes closing as you digested his words; he knew exactly what to say to have you soaking wet, desperate and needy.

His tongue was smooth, warm and velvety against your clit. You gasped, relaxing into his hold as he ran small circles over your clit, your thighs twitching and jumping with every touch.

"Simon," You whispered, recognition of just how good he made you feel.

He was slow, passionate, savouring the taste of you, everything he'd thought about for weeks. The soft whimpers and moans you hid behind closed lips, the back of your hand pressed against your mouth, it drove him mad.

He clenched your thighs with possessive hands, flesh squeezing between his fingers, your toes curling against his back. Your hand drifted to glide through his hair, a gentle touch, some form of contact to keep you grounded. You let it rest on the back of his head, and he found it comforting. His eyes lifted to yours, his tongue sliding out, lightly flicking back and forth over your clit.

His lips were wet with your arousal, moving against your pussy, sucking and teasing at your clit. His tongue dove inside you, and your back arched, pressing yourself into his mouth. Your fingers tugged at his hair, a rumble of pleasure leaving his mouth.

It was sweet, sensual; a loving reunion. He was passionate about making you cum, especially when he hadn't seen you or touched you in so long. He thoroughly enjoyed the sight of you while he ate you out, you always had your lips parted, soft pants from your mouth, your eyes fluttering shut. Your cheeks took on a reddish hue, and the view from his position made him even harder.

He knew just what spots to touch, the pressure and speed that made your thighs shake. He never failed to make you climax quickly; and even after being apart, it seemed to be even easier. He buried his face in your pussy, head moving side to side as he devoured you, feeling your thighs clamp around his head, your fingers tug a bit harder at his hair.

He knew you were close, and when your entire body froze, rigid and tense, he knew the pulsating of your pussy followed shortly after. He softened his touch, prolonging your orgasm with every stroke of his tongue. You could hardly muffle the gasps and moans that forced their way out, biting into the back of your hand as your body shook with pleasure.

When he sat up to his knees, settling between your thighs, you saw his face glistening, wet with your arousal. He leaned closer, his lips meeting yours, tongues gliding together in an impatient kiss.

He slid inside of you- his favourite part, listening to your reaction as his cock pushed past the soft muscles inside you. You gasped quietly, your fingers digging into the taught muscles of his shoulders, sliding down his sides.

He let out a low groan; your warmth and wetness welcoming him home, absorbing him, hugging him. His head fell to the crook of your neck, his hand reaching your thigh to keep you in place beneath him, clamped tightly to his side.

He rolled his hips, burying himself inside you, deep inside you, your head falling in against the pillows.

"Shit, baby," You whined, your eyes squeezing shut as he filled you. "I missed you."

Your eyes snapped open to meet his gaze, your hands grasping the back of his neck, digging in as he thrusted his hips against yours.

"Couldn't stop thinkin' about you," He exhaled, his brows furrowed, a strained expression while he fought the urge to cum. "Y'feel so good, love."

He dug deeper, thrusting harder, watching your breasts recoil against his force, your entire body shining with a thin layer of sweat. He kissed your neck, sloppy, wet kisses.

"Don't stop baby, please," You whispered, your hand falling to rub fast circles over your clit.

A nasally groan bubbled up from the back of his throat as he felt your pussy clench, your eyes on his as you panted with exertion.

"Go on, love," He muttered. "I wanna feel you cum."

Your eyes rolled back, your abdomen tensing as you bore down through your climax, fighting the overstimulation. You gasped softly for air, pulling him even closer to you roughly. It was a harsh reflex he'd loved since the first time you did it.

He grunted in your ear, his cock throbbing when your pussy clamped down around him, nearly shaking his head in disbelief, restraint. His lips met yours as he quickened his pace, rutting his hips into you as he neared his climax.

He released inside you, shortening his thrusts as he came down from his high.

He pulled out slowly, cringing a bit with the over-sensitivity.

He laid down beside you, pulling you into his chest with heavy breaths. It was still, silent for a few moments as the two of you caught your breath, relishing in the tiredness and satisfaction.

[havethetouch]

Here be pirates

2020 - Siti, Mahdi

2021 - Ila, Mel, Eli, Asa, Ava, Ife, Niv

2022 - Ixtia

2023 - Lev, Ora, Dar, Ira, Ayo, Efe, Nia, Jia

2024 - Nor

Figured I throw them down all in one post because why not most people are not even aware how vast the cast of this lil pirate story is, and those are the characters that got their design down, I have some more that I still play around with a bit on terms of colours and shapes. Aside from Ava and Lev, everyone got their first design try on a quick headshot that felt right and then threw colours on. Ava and Lev just got a ref sheet right away because idk I hit the golden moment with those two. (context: I hate doing refs and it usually takes me ages to do them even if if I have their designs down to a T. Mahdi for example.. is after Siti oldest characters created for this story and I only finally got around to finish his ref what? At the end of last year (2023)? Niv only got her ref like in July of 2024. Like fuck you could not pay me to do reference sheets the only reason I even do them is so that I can hand them to the handful of people I like to buy comms from (and sometimes for AF) who need the visuals bc they cannot just see them in my head otherwise I would not bother.)

The order these are drawn in is also not necessarily the order those characters have been living rent-free in my head either. Like there is Wyn who I vaguely know what he looks like for 3 years now but I have not brought him to paper yet lol. However the first few are. Siti was obviously the first, it started with her, Mahdi came second in my head even though back then I didn't even knew his name yet, he was an integral part in Sitis backstory and had the workname "Mapmaker/Scholar" but I knew while I tinkered with Sitis story that he needs to come back into the picture and then I started developing him. Technically it went like this: In the course of Sitis bg story she is faced with the loss of people she considered family (among them the mapmaker/scholar who she shared the closest bond with) during a vicious pirate attack at sea that she is the lone survivor of but even as I worked on that part I was like... "ain't no way that this fucker died, he is probably messed up but I bet he survived I want him to survive and reunite with Siti down the line" - and then a bit later in my head (mahdi, kicking the door in) "Hello there. I have risen!".

It still takes the duration of a decade before these two reunite. Which is also the starting point of Siti being the captain bc those two yearn for the sea regardless of the trauma.

After came the first five, being Ila, Ava, Eli, Mel and Asa. Ife and Niv followed soon after and then it kinda gets muddy with the rest. I had some rear up louder some just slipped in through the backdoor and at some point I started to design those as well. Nor is the most recent design in the lineup which I adopted from someone else because I had her down at her core but I could not decide on which animal which vibes but I saw demi-reality sell this zebra lady on their TH and I looked once, twice, thrice and went "oh. That is Nor." It be like that sometimes. But yeh so that is Sitis crew, at least those of them that have fixed designs. It is funny to look at the first headshot ever of Siti she changed not really much at all from that one aside from the fact that I got her unique face shapes down better in a way that I could not properly bring to paper back in 2020. So much shit happened around those years too, many losses in my family, among them my own father so many of these characters are intertwined with that grief and brainfog and memory loss that came with that trauma. A wild time that feels like a different life at times and I'm glad to have it behind me now. And I didn't even mean to get so personal about it here but those characters are, like I said, very much intertwined with a lot of that which also reflects in most of the early casts stories. But yeahhhh anyway I keep tinkering around, lots of writing going on in the background among some other stuff I have planned.

[trying-to-get-somewhere-real]

this is a pretty niche post for people equally obsessed with hacks and the bear (so tagging @mollrat101 bc i feel like they will understand what i'm going for here better than anyone), but i needed to get it out of my brain and maybe it will also resonate for people who haven't seen hacks but still feel uneasy about where things might be going with claire (or hacks fans who just want to complain about marty :P) i only recently realized that claire makes me uneasy for similar reasons as marty made me uneasy by the end of s1 of hacks. it's not so much a question of whether i like them as characters or whether i am more invested in a competing ship, but about the work the writing needs to do to get me invested in a deb/marty or carm/claire endgame, and whether the respective shows realize they need to do that work. hacks s2 showed me that sometimes writers will just hand-waive what felt like Significant Issues and expect you to get on board with a relationship that they spent the entire prior season undermining, and i'm now paranoid about how easily storer et al. could do the same thing. if you introduce a character in one way and want me to root for them and their relationship with the protagonist in the long-run, you need to put in the real time and effort to develop them!!

at a high-level for anyone reading this who may not be familiar with hacks: marty was introduced in s1 as someone who had a romantic past with deb who then betrays her professionally about 2/3 through the season after sleeping with her again (seemingly for the first time in awhile). they end the season on very poor terms due to this betrayal. he is also written as someone who doesn't seem to understand why deb's work is so important to her and why her ex-husband's EXTREME betrayal (her creative collaborator who sabotaged her opportunity to be the first woman to ever host a late-night show and left her for her sister) would make her reluctant to be vulnerable with anyone ever again. tbh i believe the actors and characters have real chemistry—much more so than claire and carmy. BUT it never occurred to me that they could possibly be endgame because the writers made him such a villain in s1, and the time it would take to rehab him such that he would feel like a viable choice in the eyes of the audience was not something i expected them to give to that character in light of all of the other characters/plots/themes they seemed to want to explore and the focus on ava and deb as the central relationship (however you view it).

cut to s2: deb seems to kind of be over whatever marty did in s1 (with no explanation) and seems to be jealous of his new fiancee. and then we get an unexpected reveal that he proposed to her in the past and *she* turned him down. none of this really tracks with what we learned in s1, and feels like an easy way to paper over all of his quite serious flaws and make deb seem like the one responsible for all of their issues. there is no real effort to show him growing or making amends. it's just apparently fine now??????

claire is not a villain in the way marty was/is (to me, at least) but we didn't get to know her as an individual separate from carmy, we didn't get to see most of the big moments in their relationship happen in front of our eyeballs, and i generally did not feel that the writers meant for me to take her seriously as a long-term love interest because if they did, we would see the development of this relationship (and get to know this person) much better than we have. but the more i am seeing online references to a possible endgame for them, the more i have hacks s2 ptsd. i liked the bear s2 way more than hacks s2, and so at this very moment i trust storer and co. more. and to be completely honest i don't *really* want the writers to take time away from characters and relationships i care about more in order to develop claire. BUT if she's coming back and they're going to be something in the long-run and they don't take that time? it's just very poor writing to me. all shipping preferences aside, i need them to make me invest and believe that this is viable. you can't just tell me, you have to show me. right now, everything about her and them tells me i'm not supposed to care in the way i care about carm, syd, richie, nat, tina, marcus, etc. and i'm concerned that the people running the show might not realize that :/

[loosesodamarble]

*waddles in as quickly as i can* Oooo an ask game? You’re doing an ask game? Yay!!

May I ask for 31 (for whichever couple comes to mind!), 32, 43 please Erika 🥺?

Yes I am doing an ask game, Lyra! Thank you for indulging my desire to answer questions!

31) Are there any songs that remind you of [couple]? Are there any songs that remind them of each other?

So a couple of my choosing? I think I'll go for the ship AlAva, which involves my oc Albert Faust being in a relationship with @koneko-pi's oc Avalinia Silva!

A song that reminds me of them is "My Precious" sung by Yuki Kaji. Full disclosure it is a character song so it's closely tied to a particular character and their story but it still fits Albert and Ava. It's a love song with a gentle and upbeat sound but it's a little darker than it lets on. To be brief, "My Precious" is a song about a guy living what he feels is a hollow life and seeking his own end but falling in love with a particular woman gives him a reason to live. Albert has his dark secrets and negative feelings that he hides behind a cordial mask and then meeting Avalinia helps rekindle his hope and love for the world. So it's a good fit to me.

32) Do you find it more fun to write soft, domestic romances, or dramatic thrillers?

As much as I love the drama of Nacht x Josele x Morgen, I LOVE imagining and writing the softer romances. Because, to me, love is ultimately something gentle and freeing. Like, a dramatic journey is fun but the end goal is being able to enjoy a gentle and freeing love. So while I will do my best to continue writing the darker parts of the love story between Josele and Nacht, I'll always prefer their fluffier moments (as well as the fluff between Morgen and Josele!).

43) How do you feel about unhappy endings? Unrequited love? Major character death?

(holds Faustsele close to my chest)

Now what could've ever made you consider asking that question, Lyra? I wonder.../lh+j

I'd say I have mixed feelings about unhappy endings. Sometimes, I don't like unhappy endings because I want to see the characters I like be able to smile and live peacefully/free/a generally good life. And then there are times where an unhappy endings makes me go "ow. Let's do that again!" Because sometimes the bad endings are about just how close the characters were to something good. Or I have the knowledge that a better ending awaits them in another timeline.

And for unrequited love, I prefer it more when it's played for a joke (a couple of my BC next gen ocs for example). For dramatic unrequited loves (like Nacht's feelings for Josele at first), I can roll with it but I really do like my happy, "they get together" endings. Ah ha...

And major character death? Well, I have written a couple fics exploring death and the grief felt by the living so I'm not totally against it. But you know how much it hurt me to see Morgen die AGAIN! It's really a mixed bag. Actually, I remember when the Spade Invasion arc was in its last chapters, when Yami and Nacht got Kyoujurou-ed together and then healed by Mimosa, some friends and I had joked "wait don't die! (sees Mimosa miracle heal them) WAIT DON'T LIVE!" Or something along those lines. We went back on forth on whether we wanted those terrible consequences of not. 😆

[daniclaytcn]

holy shit, your post about non-canon queer ships is so real!! and i think the reason why so many of us get attached to fanon ships is because it tends to have the buildup that most canon queer ships now lack for one reason or another -- maybe the writers don't want to be accused of queerbaiting, or they did have plans but their show got cancelled thanks to the streaming model, or maybe these showrunners and writers are just more interested in marketing 'diverse' characters than doing any of the work required to make these stories feel authentic and real.

these days, the characters meet, and you immediately know they're going to get together in about eight episodes. the characters rarely have individual identities or story arcs outside of each other, and the fact that most new shows are only a step away from getting canceled means that the writing rushes through all of the buildup in order to get to the supposed payoff that doesn't make you feel anything.

which is why a ship like buck and eddie, for example, is so much more compelling to me than anything i've seen in the past five years bc we got to actually see these characters grow as individuals and go through so many important relationship-cementing experiences way before they would (presumably) get together. from the many lighthearted fun, moments of friendship to all of the hardships they've endured together to taking the steps they need in order to actually be ready for a relationship -- we got to go on that journey with them every step of the way.

eddie didn't just come in during season two, PTSD-free, mentally healthy, and divorced, and announce that he's queer to the firehouse 0.2 seconds after meeting buck. no, he had to navigate the messiness of his wife coming back and dying, buck had to deal with the fallout of the ladder truck incident, they had to work through the lawsuit and the shooting and the repercussions of said shooting and had to make their way out of relationships that didn't work for them. but they got to do it all together, and we as an audience got to see that relationship play out over six whole seasons.

so now, buck and eddie getting together wouldn't feel manufactured, it would feel real, and rewarding, and it'd feel like the only natural, satisfying conclusion to both of their story arcs. i just...i don't see that in new queer media because we don't get enough about either partner or their dynamic before their relationship turns romantic for me to get invested.

(sorry for dumping in your inbox bjskdjdk, u just did a really great job articulating the exact point about queer rep that i've been trying to put into words for a long time 😅)

no, you're so right! i think this is a combination of showrunners trying have a checklist of 'diverse' characters, and the 8-10 episode model where shows are in constant danger of being canceled. these characters meet, 5 seconds later they're kissing, and they're declaring their undying love for each other at the end of the season...if they even wait that long. it's literally so rare to see shows that actually bother to give queer relationships some time to breathe and develop, the only examples i can think of are casey and izzie from atypical and ava and beatrice from warrior nun. and if what we do end up having most of the time with canon queer couples is fine with the people who like them, then all the power to them! but having a weird superiority complex or decrying others for liking non-canon queer ships is...not it.

i mean, everything you've said about buck and eddie is exactly why i'm so obsessed with them—they meet every single requirement i have for a well-written dynamic! both the characters are fleshed out, rather than being plot devices for each other; their relationship is incredibly well-developed; it's a slow burn; they have interesting conflicts and arcs; and there's actually a reason as to why these two make sense as a couple, rather than them just being two attractive adults in the vicinity of each other. i can't count the number of times i've seen LS fans say that people should just watch lone star because 'the gay couple is actually canon' which is not only infuriating, but also speaks so much as to how people have seemingly ceased to care about good and interesting writing in favour of the canonization of queer ships. (i'm sorry, but t/arlos sucks and i would rather buck and eddie get married to different people rather than ever end up like them)

at the end of the day, good writing matters. interesting and intricate storytelling and development matters. you can't just handwave all of that and pretend it's fine just because the characters are ~~diverse~~. i'm being so serious when i say that i'd rather a show had a handful of characters who are minorities who are written well and manage to drive the plot forward; rather than an entire cast full of them who ultimately don't do anything, and are only there so that the creators can pat themselves on the back and not do any work to actually write them well.

[sunsafewriting]

Hey :). I was hoping that maybe you would have some nuggets of wisdom regarding story pacing and plot. Everything you published on ao3 is so well paced and worded in such a way that the reader can vividly picture every scene. Sooo.. question: how do you plan out the plot of a story? And when you don't necessarily have a plot, how do you make sure that the scenes you want to write are well-connected/paced within the bigger narrative?

Anyways, I hope you have a great day. And answer or not, I will keep enjoying your work just the same.

hey mate! thanks for thinking of me but you have actually come to a terrible place for pacing advice bc that is definitely the part of writing that i struggle with most lol . but i shall tell you how I cope and hopefully some of that helps you (?)

basically I cannot plan to save my life. fic or original writing --- if I set out to outline, I come up with bad ideas and stress myself out of even starting. all the stories I plan are MUCH worse than the ones I don't. for some writers planning works great and if that's you that's awesome!!! but I am doomed to walk another path

what I do instead of planning a story is think about what I (me, personally, bc I write fic from a place of indulgence) WANT out of it. like, what's the stuff I wanna see? to me, the essential aspect of pacing is making that stuff feel important and worth it and earned. it has to have emotional weight or it won't be what I'm after .

that's also how I try to make scenes are connected; they're all focused around a general Vibe or Feeling I want to construct.

for example, in Do A Flip, what I wanted was all of them getting to become a family. and so I worked backwards from that --- what are the steps within steps within steps that lead them there? what little aspects can we put together to create that kind of image?

for pacing it's also handy sometimes to ask what the best bit about NOT being where you're aiming for yet is. like, what is worth lingering on and enjoying that isn't the end goal? what fun thing can you only have at THIS moment of the story, rather than later? it makes each part more fun to write .

I started with a much shorter version of the fic (14k) where I wrote a shoddy draft of the whole thing from Diego's pov, and then I went back and added a ton more pieces.

that's also something I use to help myself out (and because personally I love to write this way) --- I write in pieces.

this improves my pacing, because then I'm not having to constantly consider the whole structure. instead, I'm thinking about what the point of an individual fragment is --- what am I showing in this scene, and what does it mean? often it's just something small (like I want to show that Beatrice is comfortable with Ava holding her hand, or that Lilith tries to be friendly to Diego) but I function much better with a hundred bite sized pieces than a massive whole.

in these piece-style stories, I rely on the reader drawing connections between different parts and inferring rather than a smooth flow. it's just something I enjoy as a narrative form --- I like gaps and spaces where you figure bits out yourself.

I also rearrange a ton. scenes get cut and pasted to be in a new spot all the time bc I realise as I go that they could be tweaked and fit better somewhere else. when I'm writing, I also often just leave a break and write SCENE, and then jump on to the next one --- like I don't know how I'm going to fill it in yet, but I know I need something to separate out two more similar bits, or a different POV, or to slow down before X Event happens. half the time I have no idea where a chapter is going until the first version is almost done.

the other thing about pacing for me is that devastatingly I rely heavily on rewriting, editing, and cutting beloved scenes that don't super gel. chapters take SO long to come out bc I rewrite them 2-4 times. a lot of better (and less highly strung) writers don't need to do that much so please don't feel like it's necessary but it's definitely necessary for me bc without it my work would be a total shambles lmao. I also find the promise of rewriting means I'm less likely to freeze up or stare at a blank page because I will go back and improve/tidy up later.

I also think paying attention when you feel pretty meh about something is helpful for pacing. for example, I wrote a 6k version of chapter 3 of Favourable Conditions where a lot more happened, but I didn't like it. I got my girlfriend to read it and she said "the whole first part feels like you're racing to get to the second part, and then it all settles down". and she was totally right --- I had a scene I was excited to get to so I gunned it, but the overall feeling of the chapter suffered as a result. I split the chapter in half and then rewrote the whole first half as a chapter in its own right, and decided to focus on what fun stuff I could do there, rather than just skipping through to get to the rest. I ended up adding scenes that were the ones people in the comments liked most. I also ultimately decided to change the next few plot beats afterwards, based on how that went.

I would also say that generally speaking, not a lot happens in my stories. like, I go for smaller stakes and smaller actions that slowly add up --- mostly bc I'm writing very chilled out stuff. but if you're trying to build a character to the point of doing something drastic, it's a different ballgame to escalating them to some minor change. both are super doable, you've just got to keep in mind what you're aiming for. I like minor stakes because I enjoy trying to make small things like washing dishes or going to the park matter. it's also just the vibe of where I'm at right now --- previously I've written things that were a LOT more dramatic.

if you're really struggling, I would also suggest starting with writing something short. your blog is blank so I couldn't tell what kind of writing you might be interested in, but it's much easier to tweak and change and judge these things if you're working in a smaller area --- like a 2-4k oneshot --- than if you sit down to write 80k. I literally never sit down to write 80k of fic I just accidentally end up doing it lmao.

I hope some of that is vaguely useful? I don't have a lot of wisdom to dispense bc as you can see most of my process is crutches for getting around having no natural sense of pacing. if you have any more specific questions about pacing a particular scene or idea I might be able to help more?

but good luck! 💛

[its3amandiamverytired]

okay it will be a loooong time before i upload and finish this fic but I wanted to give y’all a snippet bc im excited about it;

“Ava.” She chastises lightly.

“Bea.” Who turns back around and carries on, away from Ava, focusing on her books.

“For the record this is self-destructive.” Bea says. “Going after what you know you cannot have.”

“I am aware of that.” She chews on her cheek, watching as Bea continues to take books from the trolley and place them back on the shelves, the way her fingers press into the spines, Christ those fingers that distract Ava so often. She takes a leap of faith, maybe it’s not kind or nice, to say this to a nun, who is your friend, someone who has made a choice regarding this, but she says it anyway.

“I’ve been picturing your body.”

She swallows, throat dry, Bea stills for a moment. From this angle Ava can’t see her face, but she does watch as she takes a deep breath before continuing her journey down the aisles of the library, she moves further away from Ava and, for a moment, she fears that something is wrong before a crystal clear;

“Yes?” Comes from Beatrice; a strong, unwavering word.

Ava could be looking too much into it, mistaking her curiosity for something more than it is, but it feels like there is want in that question. They shouldn’t be talking about it, neither of them should have allowed it to get this far, but they’re here now, might as well ride it out.

“Wearing nothing but your cross.”

[dianneslim]

Tribute to new CPAs speech,

July 03, 2023.

(Blog bc im proud of this and it was a full circle moment 🙆🏽‍♀️)

I do not know what is so special about me that Miss Uy asked me to deliver this speech. I'm not the most brilliant in our batch, I never topped the pre-boards during my review with PRTC, let alone top the board exam. But she said "We want someone, a representative from USJR and kana nasad dili topnotcher" ahh to represent us, kanang confidence lang ang puhonan (hahaha) And also I think she knows na baga lang jud kog nawng. And true enough, confidence, I must say, is one big contributing factor that got me here. Because I have always felt that when you believe in yourself you'll be able to be so much more that what you aspired to be. However, in my case, my confidence “powers” doesn't only come from within. I owe it to the people around me who believed in me.

Allow me to take this moment to thank the people who has been with me to reach this remarkable point of my life.

First and foremost, to my family for they are the one who has always been there for me since day 1, thank you for the unwavering love and support, as always.

I'd also like to thank my batchmates, classmates and dear friends who have given me memories to hold until I grow old. Without you, my BSA journey wouldnt be as splendid as it was.

As someone who has been with the university for 16 wonderful years, you have given me some of my loudest cheers. I owe it to my USJR grade school, high school, and college josenian teachers and educators, faculty, and staff, who have molded me to be who I am today.

And of course, I'd also like to give a 100-star review to the USJR CPA Review center, that has always been amazing as ever. Headed by Miss Kristine June Uy, and his number 2, Sir Jekris, and to the dynamic staff Joyce, Fred, Pau, Ava, Sandra, and Mae, with special participation of Sir Amps and Kuya Nelson. In behalf of the Team PRTC Batch May 2023 & USJR Integrated Batch Adamas, we would like to sincerely thank you for everything that you do for the integrated students and for the reviewees. For staying with us in our 7am-9pm integrated and review classes, for sacrificing your holidays and weekends just to cater us. For providing us a review center that we can call our home. Because basically we're at the CPA library or at the rooms 12 or more hours a day and you have always made sure that we were provided with the facilities that we need. Can we all give them a round of applause???

And lastly, to my one and only God who have always been blessing me from above. From undergrad, to integrated class, up to my review, everytime i'd fear that I may fail, I would always remind myself that there is a God who will save me. He has saved us once, and he will save us once more, time and time again. His saving may come in a different form, even in forms that we least expect and in forms that we may not understand for now, but I trust that his saving grace will push me back up again and make me go on.

Without all of these people, I literally wouldn't have done it. Because they believed in me, that made me believed in myself.

Oftentimes during my review, inevitebly, I doubted that I may even pass the CPALE and I said to one of my most favorite teachers "Sir, kung magkinaunsa, i congrats gyapon ko ha for taking the exam" and he said one of the most memorable things that anyone has ever said to me, he told me (verbatim ha) "Dianne, just so you know, I believe in you. And at the very least I'd say, congrats for passing the exam." People who know me must know that I'm not used to people saying those kind of cheesy stuff to me but at that moment, I believed him and that helped me in so many ways to carry on with my review and even in the most draining days that I dont feel like studying, I'd remember those words.

Today my friends, I'd just like to put it out there that I do believe in you, I really do. I believe that you're gonna reach the cut-off grades, that you're gonna pass every qualifying exam, to Batch Edeosa — that you're gonna get through the integrated class, and ultimately, I believe that you will be a CPA. And to my co-CPAs, I do believe that you're gonna make it life. (And when you do, ay kog kalimti ha, Dianne Lim) Im not even gonna sugarcoat it, but brace yourselves because from now on it's gonna be tougher. Even to us CPAs, it's gonna be tougher than ever. But my prayers always always have been that may we have the courage to face whatever is to come, and i pray that we may have the strength to endure it all. I'd like to leave you with this thought "have a little faith because If you have come this far, then there must be something special in you."

Thank you everyone and Adelante!

[lviste]

i wanna have a very nice moment rn bc i feel like crying.

ava @rrinsluvr you were my first moot here and honestly i cant rmb how we became moots but i absolutely adore you for being one of my closest friend rn ( online and rp ) as well as one of my closest moots. you also inspired me to write smaus

su @scarahours you were one of my favourite smau writers and i admire you so when we became friends(?) i hope we are, i was kinda shocked bc i wasnt a writer yet and you were the one who encouraged and inspired me to write a remake of the remarried empress. i also consider you as one my closest friends online.

lee / lara @skaramush you were also one of my favourite smau writers and i admire you as well. the first time we talked was when i asked you to add me to your taglist so when one day you suddenly asked to be moots and join a server i was really shocked /gen and i hesitated to join but i dont regret it. i found it surprising and funny that you thought i was filipino tbh. both you and su. i consider you one of my closest friend online

nyx @albenyx you were one of the people to welcome me and for that i was grateful because on the first few days, i didn't understand anything at all and i had to use google translate. i really appreciate you trying to speak in english for me to understand easier and even though i bully you the most i really love you fr and you are one of my closest friend

FUCK IM STARTING TO CRY

okay moving on

kyo @telemi you were also one of the people i met at first and maybe we werent very close, i appreciate you trying to talk to me in english to make me feel welcomed and i hope we can be closer in the future okay? take good care of yourself and we will all be waiting for you to come back and maybe we arent very close but i consider you as one of my friends

sevy @sevynnee you were also one of the people that made me feel welcome in the sever. i appreciate you being aether and translating some of your words in english so i can understand better. we might not be as close or we are in your opinion, but i consider you as one of my closest friends online. honestly i was scared of you so i didnt know we could be this close in my opinion but thank you. i also admire how much time and effore you put in our rp

pam @ay4kshalatus you were one of the people who welcomed me even though i wasnt filipino and you made me feel welcomed and even now you are still really nice to me that i feel like i dont deserve it tbh and honestly im really glad we became friends pampam <3 or maybe im just thinking it too far but you are one of my closest friends online too in my opinion it doesn't matter if you dont feel the same.

ein @kazu-topia you were also one the people who welcomed me to the server. i admire your humor and you never fail to always make me laugh. i know i bully you time to time but i genuinely appreciate you from your dramatic antics to your crazy y/n life. i consider you as one of my closest friend. i know you tried to speak english for me at first to make me feel welcomed and i really appreciate it so thank you

biu @biuun you were one of the people who welcomed me to this server. honestly you had the most unproblematic life(until baizhu) and you would always stay with me while we watch them have their y/n era and i know you haven't been online much but in the beginning i felt left out because i didn't know what was happening nor was i sure on what to say but you were like " liv lets just sit down and eat popcorn while watching them " and that made me really happy to be involved at least once. i consider you as one of my friends or even closest friends.

ate sam @sunizome you were one of the few people who welcomed me and i was quite afraid of you at first because you were older than me so i didnt know how to react. we arent very close due to us not talking alot but i appreciate you being my ate for 10 seasons in the original timeline and i consider you one of my friends or maybe even closest friend. i hope we can be closer with each other

ain @shimenawas you joined after me i think but honestly you are so sweet to me??? like ik i bully you time to time but you are so nice to me and i feel like i dont deserve it sometimes. we arent very close and i would love to be closer with you in the future. and honestly i really consider you as one of my friends or even closest friends :)

@/everyone i love all of you and even tho i get mad at you guys sometimes or bully you guys, i dont really mean it. i know all of you miss the old liv ( the sweet, polite, nice liv) so heres the sweet and nice liv okay. i know i also say sometimes i regret joining the server, i dont actually mean it and im glad lara thought i was a filipino hence why im here. i love all of you and remember to take good care of yourself, stay healthy, and drink lots of water okay?

[lesbianmarrow]

watched legends of tomorrow 3.11. well. Well. okay. i feel like it is my duty as an indian person to break down all the ways in which this episode was or was not racist. however. the episode embarrassed me so deeply and profoundly, down to my bones, that i feel incapable of assessing it rationally. so you’ll have to forgive me for that. i think this is probably the worst episode of the season so far. that doesn’t mean it isn’t a whole lot of fun, or lacks decent character moments. but on the whole it is an utter mess. i’ve been wanting another zari centric episode, but this? be careful what you wish for, indeed. 

okay. okay. on to the actual episode. i like that they addressed the potential ray/nate conflict right at the start because that was my major question coming out of last episode. not thrilled with the no homo jokes the show keeps making with the friendship between those two characters. legends ought to be better than that. i thought zari and nate were cute enough but if they actually get together i might stop liking them. it’s about the pining........

zari getting pestered by all the ladies about her crush on nate was wonderful. loved the line about them not passing the bechdel test. i believe this is the first time it’s really shown that charlie is shall we say sexually liberated. i kind of always assumed she was but this episode hammers that in. though shes only depicted expressing sexual attraction to men in this episode, which i felt was odd since she has been at least implied to be bisexual. feels like this wouldve been the right place to firmly establish that but anyway. loved when sara said zari should have sex with someone who isnt nate bc then if shes still thinking about nate afterward it means shes really into him. cause that’s exactly what sara did with constantine and ava. 

the failed wedding at the beginning was fun. i like that the bride ran off with the scullery maid. this show knows its audience! i like that charlie was so delighted by everybody kissing each other. she’s a demon, no wonder she loves pandemonium. i was surprised when sara said she thought the 2 ladies kissing was hot, but i really shouldnt be. i just get surprised when women on tv are shown objectifying other women in that way. i definitely think it was the right move to only have the women go on the jane austen adventure. loved the “turn around the room” that was so silly. 

zari’s love interest being an indian guy was enough to embarrass me but then they made him a HINDU LOVE GOD........im telling you ive been hindu all my life and ive never heard of a love god. i swear these people are finding the most obscure gods to feature on their tv shows. ok i just googled him and his mount is a parrot which i have to admit is pretty cool but i digress. i don’t have an issue with legends of tomorrow doing a sex pollen episode, because honestly that was feeling pretty inevitable at this point. i do have a problem with them using, i’m sorry, a hindu. love. god. as the catalyst for it. it’s just like wow i really thought we left this sort of racism back in arrow but i guess not huh! i suppose i have to give them credit for having this romance be with zari instead of (shudder) a white woman. it still sucks though. particularly because he sex pollens the whole crew not just zari. 

i assume the writers developed this whole plot by working their way backwards after they decided they wanted a bollywood musical number and i’m sorry but it was not worth it. none of this was worth it all of it should have been scrapped. it was super cool to have zari sing and she did look lovely in the indian clothes but the episode simply did not justify the musical number to me. im not against western tv having a bollywood musical episode in theory but my personal feeling is that if a show does not have a south asian person as a regular cast member then they shouldnt be allowed to do a bollywood musical episode. i dont think thats too much to ask. so yeah i didnt like that part of the episode and i kind of wish i could erase it from my memory but its fine im fine. 

[flodaya]

kieu my best skamverse love interest? it's true it's true

YES and here is my long overdue essay on why I actually think she is not only the best skamverse love interest but one of the most complex and compelling characters ever

this got embarrassingly long so..... keep reading under the cut i guess

I love fatou, I love her with all my heart and she is my comfort character, has been since the moment she was introduced in season 5, but on a very personal level I relate so much more to kieu my than anyone else in the skamverse. I would have never expected to love her as much as I do, back even just in the beginning of season 6 I ranked her quite low compared to other love interest but now she is not only my favorite love interest (sorry david and David stans) but one of my favourite characters in the skamverse. I was on the fence about her during s5, she seemed so removed and unattainable, like I know I was totally hyping up fatou and kieu my ever since their first interaction and I stand by that, but that was less because I actually connected to kieu my as a character but more bc cool popular girl and skater girl is my favourite wlw trope

during s5 she was this fun party girl who didn’t seem to care much about anything but drinking and having out with zoe. like @deafmatteo mentioned in his amazing character/pov change analysis, kieu my represented nora’s fear of zoe (and herself but in connection to kieu my I feel like her fear was more for her sister than herself) would turn into their mother so all she saw was a fun pretty party girl in kieu my. but then we get to fatou’s pov and she isn’t that at all anymore, she is so much more grounded and so much more in her head and serious, not at all a drinking buddy because fatou isn’t focused or scared of that side of kieu my, she sees her as this beautiful smart girl she has a crush on. writing this also made me realize that the thing that kieu my is insecure about aka being seen as just a fun party girl is exactly how fatou does not see her evident by the fact that since the pov shift we haven’t been focusing on that side of kieu my at all anymore

okay now onto some things I love (and relate to) about her

1. she is complex and flawed in a believable yet compelling way. her actions, the good and the bad, come from a place of insecurity, a place of trying to please everyone and to stay in everyone’s good graces, to avoid people seeing her as anything less than a good person

- The way she stayed silently while her friends bullied ava is absolutely in line with this, she didn’t actively participate because she wouldn’t want to hurt anyone but she didn’t speak up bc she also didn’t want her friends to start disliking her, trying to make right by everyone, and I’m glad she has since come to understand that she really did not do right by ava and that she needs to apologize

- when she said her and fatou’s kiss was just a stupid kiss, it was in a moment where her “friend” kept insulting someone she liked and she just wanted him to stop, so to appease him she said something to shut him up, again trying to keep him from saying mean things about someone but at the same time too afraid to get into a conflict with her friend to actually speak up (I still can’t believe you all acted like she said something horribly offensive, like i get it calling the kiss stupid hurt like hell but.... it was also just a super petty high school thing to say 🙈)

2. she is incredibly empathetic, mostly seen by how much she cares for fatou’s well being, she is the only one who keeps asking fatou how she is feeling, no one (not even her parents) ask for fatou’s feelings, but at the same time she can be overbearing and almost too solution-oriented, and oh god do I relate to that

3. she is so insecure about so many things

- we have been shown a confident and popular kieu my during season 5 that seeing her be insecure in the first clip of season 6 was such a change of character but at the same time not really out of character if that makes sense

- she has felt very intimate by fatou bc of her lack of experience with girls. I think one of the reasons I still love the horror movie clip so much is because it shows a different power dynamic between them for the first time, we see fatou be the one who is more confident in the subject they are talking about (lesbian flirting) and we see kieu my admire and look up to fatou; or the moment when she wrongfully called dressed up fatou butch, such a hard-trying baby bi

- in general she feels very objectified, she is afraid people she is interested in only see her for her fun pretty side. every time she says something along the lines of “I’m boring you” I want to hug her and tell her to keep rambling on about nerdy space stuff, she deserves the world

4. she is way more than meets the eyes, and I love how the writers are constantly subverting our expectations when it comes to her

- we thought fatou was more interested in kieu my but nope, turns out kieu my has been crushing on fatou for quite a long time too

- okay the “ghosting fatou for a week” was very much what we expected but I sure as hell did not expect her to chase after fatou so vehemently for a week after she realized that she has hurt fatou and might have lost her chance with the girl she likes. the way her text messages got more and more vulnerable with every day, “somehow I’m always thinking about you” is still one of the rawest things ever texted

- the way I expected her to be the axolotl in the relationship (though looking back the very first clip of season 6 was called “Das Axolotl” so we should have seen it coming that fatou is the axolotl) but turns out kieu my is all in, she is being vulnerable and open, she talks about her dreams and fears, she is basically handing fatou her whole heart. one of my favourite moments was right before their second first kiss when she completely unprompted started talking about her childhood trauma, she really trusts fatou so much and has this need to be absolutely see through with her

- and then my favourite moment of subverting our expectations, I don’t even know why we would ever assume this but we all got it into our heads that she would get mad at fatou for messing up the presentation, why we would ever expect that of her I don’t know anymore but I love how she did the opposite, she couldn’t have cared less about her grade, all she wanted was for fatou to be okay

- and now everyone keeps expecting kieu my to dumb or stand up fatou, but she doesn’t, she is the most support fatou has right now, she is one-hundred-percent in this, and she’s she has her moments when she pulls back because she feels hurt and insecure but even after today’s fight she didn’t just ghost fatou when she apologized, she is there for fatou

5. last but not least I love how the writers handle her bisexuality

- i feel like for her realizing she is bi happened in the middle of season 5, my personal headcanon is she started to like fatou around that time and (like she now constantly admits out loud) couldn’t stop thinking about fatou and one day it just hit her that the reason she keeps thinking about this random girl her best friend’s little sister is hanging out with might be because she is attracted to her, so it’s not a big “I hate myself for this, i need to go on a ten week personal growth journey” but more of a “ohhh that explains why I had a lifesize Ashley Tisdale poster in my bedroom when I was 10” moment 

- but her sexual orientation is also not just trivial like it was for Mia, it influences her everyday life, i love that she gets to talk about internalized biphobia. just, yeah, all around very well written queer rep, and you can tell she has been developed by bisexual women

okay I will stop now, this is getting excessive, if you have read all this congrats you’re a kieu my stan, also I should have been writing my 8-page essay for psych class, so if I fail it’s kieu my’s fault

[100nebulas]

HAI my carrd is outdated and ill remake it ! later

heres a pinned post to fill in in the meantime ik its ugly but whatever. important stuff yknow

About me

Astrid, Ava, Stella

They/She

Sapphic, Arospec

White

18

adhd autism :)

Byf

most of those are just squicks but pls be especially diligent abt the bold ones !! also pls tag long posts see i italicized it that ones just really annoying to me. you can hit those with "Ava Don't Look" thank u

"we live in a simulation" type of unreality

"..." on its own

pregnancy

gothic lit

ok ko

images of the cop pride flag

milk cookie from crob/crk

long posts

dni moment

Obvious DNI criteria (racist, antisemetic, ableist, lgbtphobe, TERFs)

Ace/arophobe, panphobe, biphobe, anti-MOGAI, transmed, truscum, anti he/him they/them lesbians, exclusionists in general

Anti-anti/proshippers, fujoshis, selfcest shippers all of you are freaks

18+ blogs

Uncritical fan of any media you consume

Dsmp fans

fuck nuts frickin is not good. dont interact with me if you participate in it. BUT . i know a few of my long time friends and mutuals do enjoy it CRITICALLY. ppl i am already friends with can stay in regards 2 this but im making my stance on it clear right now

other stuff below the cut so this doesn't get too long

extra which is directly copied from my carrd mostly

On my main, I'm very forgetful when it comes to tagging.

If you have something blacklisted that I forget to tag, feel free to remind me, or if it's recurring, soft block/unfollow. I won't mind! Do what you need to make yourself comfortable.

I don't have any post tagging system. If I make one, I'll add it here.

I've kind of just been unfollowing people lately?? if we were mutuals and i unfollowed for seemingly no reason you can dm me and I'll probably follow back. this is mostly me just tryin to curate my dash 2 my interests i promise its nothing personal adghzjfxfj !!!

If you send me a post with my interests, I will love you forever

friends can ask for my discord

Interests and Hyperfix

specil inch rest

Kingdom Come

Yume Nikki, Yume 2kki, ynfg in general

Ton's Mobile Game Universe

Sonic the Hedgehog

Kirby Series

Pokemon

Pollys Orangebox Rewrite

Classic edgy Creepypastas

Rhythm games

Character design

hyperfixations ive had that are also worth mentioning bc these tend to come back in bursts

Scp foundation, Confinement by Lord Bung

Splatoon

ENA by Joel G

Kirby

Eve MVs, Kara No Kikuo

Deemo

Mystery Skulls Animated

Junji Ito mangas

No Straight Roads

My Stuff

Kingdom Come - high fantasy original universe ive been super invested in worldbuilding on. see content for it on my artblog!

Startown - my oldest original story, revived !! ye olde childhood fiction about a young superhero in space, with a wish to protect the multiverse.

Nightlight - my own yume nikki fangame that i promise i'll work on at some point

[lgbtqlegends]

Hi! Do you have any prompts about ava getting to see saras worst memories or past traumas first had? Like maybe a mission involving saras past or a head injury or something that requires someone going through her memories? Thanks! Love your prompts 🥰🥰

oooo yes i love it, the a n g s t :) thanks for the ask n hope you enjoy!

-okay so, imma go with the head injury thing, bc i think i can cover more ground more easily that way. or some demon or magical creature or something puts her in a a coma where she's stuck reliving or witnessing all of her past trauma happen to herself inside her head, and she can't get out unless someone is able to pull her out

-obviously ava is the one to do it, because she knows sara, they All know sara, and they know that sara would never be okay with any of the rest team seeing her darkest moments, would never be okay being so completely Vulnerable with them (and they know her well enough to know that ava is her safe place, and they all figure she could really use something like that if they're gonna be able to get her out of her head)

-so they send ava into sara's mind, and no one really knows for sure how it's gonna go down or anything (except maybe john or nora or astra, vaguely), but ava absolutely will not take no for answer because she's gonna get her girl back, goddammit

-once she's in, she finds sara (her sara) watching everything play out, the memories clear as day. she tries to pull her out then and there, but they quickly realize it doesn't work like that, and they have to sit there and watch all of sara's past traumas play out right before their eyes, as if it were in real time. sara looks tired, resigned, as if she knew she shouldn't have expected it to be so easy. so she grabs ava's hand and sits down to let it all happen, and softly whispers something along the lines of "you get to know all of me now, even some of the darkest things that i never managed to voice." and at first ava feels kinda bad bc this wasn't sara's choice and of course she wants to know all of sara, but she only ever wanted that on sara's terms, when sara was ready to tell her, but then sara continues a moment later and says smth like "i think it's easier this way. i think it's easier for you to see what it was really like if you watch it happen right now, cause i'd never be able to voice any of it like this." it's melancholy though, and ava can tell that it's still gonna hurt sara, so she just puts an arm around her shoulder and they settle in to watch

-it starts with the gambit, because that's the first big thing, the thing that started everything,, for sara. it's hard for ava to hear sara's scream, or watch the way she gets pulled underwater, but she still does, and anytime she hears a small gasp coming from sara, she holds just a little tighter, silently letting her know she's not alone

-the amazo is next, and that's even harder for ava to watch because of everything ivo put her through. it's especially hard though because sara's clearly not okay at all, if the way she's curled in on herself and the way she's close to a panic attack is anything to go by. they both end up in tears, because sara's time on the amazo never fails to make her feel so so vulnerable, and ava can't help but cry with her because it hurts, a lot, to see sara's younger self going through that

-after the amazo is lian yu and then the league of assassins, and that takes the longest because she spent so many years with the league. ava can tell that watching all of her league memories play out is really hard for sara too. she can see in sara's eyes, the guilt that gets heavier and heavier with every league hit that they have to watch

-watching sara die, three arrows to the chest and falling off of a rooftop is the hardest for ava. no matter how many times she's seen sara die, it never gets any easier and it hurts just as bad everytime. sara hugs ava tight, and she's more or less stoic during this memory, but ava notices the way her free hand hovers lightly over her chest/abdomen, where 3 scars from 3 arrows mark their spot

-memories of the bloodlust aren't easy, either. sara gets really restless and ava has to hold her tight to keep her from getting self-destructive

-ava hugs sara extra tight, gives her a small, comforting kiss while they watch her break down in her dad's arms after finding out her sister died

-the memories start to go by a little faster after that; snart dying, getting shot and killed by rip, stein's death; mallus and the death totem lasts a bit longer, hurts a bit more; rip's death, and the death of her dad (ava hugged her extra tight then, too), neron, crisis and oliver's death, atropos and her loss of vision/gift of foresight, and everything she went through in space (purposely vague lmao)

-once they're finally out of sara's head and out of her memories, the team's first instinct is to give them both a hug, but they hold back because they can see that sara (and ava too, honestly) needs a little time, and that she'll shut down if they all crowd her and overwhelm her

-they both kinda stumble out of the medbay, holding tight to each other, neither of their minds entirely in the present, to go somewhere, most likely their room, where they can be alone together (and also probably have a drink or two because that was,,, a lot, for both of them, and they're both exhausted and emotionally drained)

also!! choco and I have a fic planned that has a similar concept to this, where all the legends have to go through a sort of nightmare scape thing, that picks one trauma for each of them,, kinda whatever hurts them the most,, and they all have to witness each other go through it again!! it's gonna be p angsty so,, if you like our angst writing, stay tuned and be on the lookout for it!!

[canonicallyanxious]

taking a moment to think about how good i think druck new gen has been so far at maintaining character continuity across seasons... i think with a format where the main character changes every season it’s quite difficult to keep characterizations/arcs consistent across seasons as all the characters change the roles that they occupy in the story but so far i’ve been really impressed with the growth/development of the cashqueens and how much was established in s5 that is now being explored and deconstructed in s6!

Just a few examples I can think of off the top of my head:

1. In s5 it was well-established that Fatou avoids conflict as much as she can and will avoid engaging with difficult situations rather than explicitly expressing anger or frustration. we could see this in the way that she was very often the first to give Nora the benefit of the doubt, as well as the way she fully withdrew - going so far as to not go to school - after Nora hurt her at the end of ep 8. in this season this is a major part of her character arc. we see her many times throughout the season say/do what she thinks other people want to hear or need from her, which has already resulted in her taking on too much multiple times and subsequently neglect her emotional needs and internalize the idea that she should be able to stay the chill friend who doesn’t need help or support with anything. in this clip the line “i just want to do right by everyone” really stands out to me bc that’s been her main motivation basically the whole time we’ve known her. she just wants to do right by everyone, but in the process no one knows just how much she’s dealing with which means she has no support in the times she can’t do everything that is being asked of her.

[worth noting, i think, that the times we’ve seen Fatou get properly upset this season are often in response to Kieu My. “crazy that I couldn’t see how fake you are” and “you’re just too much of a coward to tell me i’m not good enough for you” are what come to mind for me. i find that really interesting because i think it shows the way her story arc with Kieu My has already helped her grow this season. in the former scene, that’s an important step in her laying down the line and saying “i deserve better than how you’re treating me”; in the latter scene it’s one of the few times the whole season she’s really put her own insecurities into words. also crucial to note how Kieu My responds to Fatou every time - with understanding, compassion, the implicit acknowledgement that she does need to do better and the consistent follow-up with her attempts to do so. so fatou has the space to express her negative feelings, but also work through them and process them in a healthy way. imo it’s a compelling way of developing their romance and giving it nuance and depth!]

2. back in s5 it was clear from social media and Mailin’s actions in the show that she is very passionate about doing the right thing [her main motivation for stealing the money from the instas was that it wasn’t right for them to waste the class’s money, for example]. she has a strong moral compass that’s quite admirable for someone of her age! but we also saw in s5 that she could be impulsive and a little careless with how her actions impact others [e.g when she broke into the campground], and also prioritize her activism over the feelings of her friends [e.g in the discussion of Thanksgiving, bringing up the fact that Thanksgiving is emblematic of genocide and oppression of American indigenous peoples when Ava mostly just wanted to recognize that she enjoys the holiday for the feeling of communion and such]. 

so to see them build on that thread here into a fleshed-out storyline properly addressing her performative activism and the way it can impact her marginalized friends is imo a really important story to tell. i feel like often when racism is tackled in mainstream media it often runs the risk of either being overly exaggerated/caricaturized or just completely glossed over, so there is a balance to be struck here with holding Mailin accountable for her actions while giving her space to grow and learn from her mistakes - she’s not some cartoon villain, she’s a teenager who’s still trying to learn how to navigate the world - and [hopefully] providing a roadmap of learning how to be a better ally. so far though it seems clear that druck is making a concerted effort to navigate that line with how carefully they’ve put in the pieces from s5 and earlier in this season.

3. for Ava, we saw pretty early on in s5 that she deeply values friendship, loyalty, honesty, and trust. this was established through the way she stood up for Fatou in s5 ep 9, as well as how she was more open to Nora as soon as Nora was more open with her. this continues in this season as well with the conflict b/w ava and fatou. the conversation bw them at the beginning of s6 ep 5 remains one of my favorite clips of the season bc i feel like it captures Ava’s character and their friendship very well - "friends always come first”, and the way that she opened up with Fatou when she intuited that Fatou was genuinely opening up to her as well. this aspect of her character is highlighted in today’s clip with lines like “have you even asked me how i’m doing?” and how she doesn’t always want to be the mature and responsible one. we’ve seen ava multiple times in this season try to put aside her own feelings for the sake of friendship, to be the “mature” one for the sake of keeping the peace, but she’s reached a point where she just can’t do that anymore. Reciprocity in friendship is very important to her in that she wants [and deserves!] the same support and energy from her relationships that she gives to them, but when characters like fatou and nora aren’t able to provide that reciprocity [for reasons that are of course extremely understandable from their point of view] that can cause a lot of hurt for Ava precisely because of the things that have already been established to be very important to her.

4. tbqh i don’t have as much to say about Nora as i do about the others but i will say that i think the way she reacts in this clip is understandable in the context of her character too, actually! we know from s5 that she’s another character who’s prone to glossing over her real feelings in an effort to keep the illusion that everything is okay. we also know that this is really the first time she’s been able to establish some independence for herself from her mother while also having a lot to deal with in terms of her mental illness and navigating a relationship with someone while coping with those things, which is probably a lot to adjust to and puts into context why she’s not been committing as much time to the cashqueens recently. like the other characters she has a lot to balance and reasons not to be totally open about what she’s going through, which complements the themes of her season and fatou’s season quite well.

mostly i just find it impressive how much work has been put into developing these characters’ arcs and making all their perspectives understandable to us in a clip like this. because their characterizations have been well-established and incorporated into their respective arcs, we are able to more deeply understand their feelings and why they’re reacting the way they do to a situation like this. it’s part of what makes conflict between them so difficult to watch, i think, but it’s also part of what makes their conflict feel so real, and i just think it’s really cool to see the writers of this show making a concerted effort to afford their characters compassion and empathy even in difficult times so that we can extend compassion and empathy to them as well.