#bc I got the news that my dog was dying the day before

[lowkeyrobin]

can u write a tmr newt x gn!reader where they were really close in the glade but slowly started to drift off of their friendship when they were in wckd compartments but got together again during one of the scorch nights(angst to fluffy thingy) tried my best to make it make sense:^)

ooo okay okay I got you ; idk I just had zero ideas for this?? I apologize lmao, I got like the basis of what you wanted, I'm just posting bc I spent way too long making just this 💀

NEWT ; rekindling a friendship in the scorch

summary ; friends to not friends to friends again in the scorch

warnings ; language

word count ; 959

masterlist

You and Newt were inseparable in the Glade. You did nearly everything together, following each other around, finding comfort in one another. It changed once you escaped the maze, however.

Even though you shared a room in your new home inside a lab, it didn't help whatsoever. After that first warm shower, everything between you two just changed.

You were never able to have lunch with your friends, always being pulled away for more and more testing. You'd seen Newt following Thomas around like a lost dog.

Between all the stress and physical deterioration, you didn't have time to talk or share thoughts with him anymore. He seemed to think the same way as you basically ignored each other as the days passed. Everything seemed to be a problem now, even though no words were spoken, only looks, or for that matter, the lack of them.

Upon finding out that WCKD was never gone in the first place, you quickly join the escape with your new friend Aris, crawling around through the vents at dark. The escape was quick and calculated, and nearly ended in death, probably a solid fourteen times. But, your group escaped to the dark, sandy scorch outside.

Bergs fly overhead, lights shining onto the sand in search of you. You all ran through the rough terrain as fast as you could and hid behind a large area of hills, waiting for them to retreat, hoping they wouldn't find you.

Unluckily, you slid down next to Newt, not a glance shared between you two. You instead looked over at Aris and Thomas to your right, making sure they were both in one piece.

The long, painful hike through the scorch continued, Newt behind Thomas and Teresa while you were behind those three, then Minho and Fry. Winston and Aris were behind you, symmetrically separating you and Newt.

The night passes, hours and hours of walking and sweat fatiguing you.

You stumble upon a mall, building up your outfits and learning some more about the Cranks that flooded the scorch. Your fight through the mall was intense and still really God damn awkward as you found yourself helping Newt up off the floor after being tripped, nearly left for dead for the Cranks.

You sprint behind the group, catching up as Thomas leads you to the exit.

Once the adrenaline wore off, it was back to the exhausting trudging through the sand.

You kept your distance with Newt, especially after Winston had fallen ill to the Flare Virus. You'd both known Winston for most of the time you could remember about your lives. The pain after hearing the lonely gunshot in the distance stopped you all in your tracks before continuing some moments later.

The days were far too long for the group of teenagers. Why you were all bundled up in a desert was beyond you, but you'd take listening to the others rather than dying because you didn't cover up. No one knew who was actually immune or not, so it wouldn't be worth it to try and test it out.

You'd taken refuge under some rocks in a little flatland area in the desert once it hit dark. You'd barely spoken in the past few days, malnourished and exhausted. You, Aris, Fry, and Newt are the stragglers left awake, baking cans of beans over the fire while also tending to it, making sure the others got some warmth as they slept.

As the hours passed, Fry and Aris fell asleep, cuddling up in the heavy clothing they found extra warmth in. Who knew a desert would be freezing once the sun had set? Obviously not you, since most of any important memory ever had been wiped, but yknow.

That left you and Newt awake, sitting a few feet away from each other, an awkward silence among you. You tap your fingers on the sand beneath you, then graze them around in little patterns, unable to find yourself tired even if you wanted to. You were exhausted tired, not sleepy tired, sadly.

The blonde surprisingly speaks up.

"Thanks for saving my ass in the mall"

You glance over at him, then look back down at the sand beneath your fingertips. You nod. "Yeah, anytime"

He slowly nods, looking out at the empty miles of sand and dirt surrounding you in all directions. "Is something wrong between us?" He asks, "You haven't been talking to me at all, and you've always got this intimidating look on your face when I look over at you, so I mean, I didn't wanna bother you, ya know?"

You shrug in response. "I mean, it started back at that lab. They were always testing on me and I was just tired, but once we escaped I kinda thought you were trying to ignore me. I dunno, sorry if I read that wrong"

His expression morphs to one of sadness and guilt before wrapping you in a hug, pulling you closer to him.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to ignore you, Y/n"

You lightly smile, wrapping your arms around him. "Sorry for kind of being a bitch about it"

"Look, I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. We did kind of escape the maze, then WCKD after being tricked, and we've been running through this bloody desert for days. I don't blame you. If anything, I'll blame Rat-Man for burning you out with testing in that lab. " The dirty blonde smiles, patting your back.

"Oh, thank you, Newt. How could I ever repay you?" You chuckle, pulling away from the hug as he does.

He shrugs, a devious yet smug smirk on his face. "You could repay me in water?"

"My cantine has been empty since this morning!"

"Damnit"

[luvfy0dor]

“Hands Under My Sweatshirt, Baby Kiss it Better ♡⁠˖” Fyodor Dostoevsky x GN!Reader ੈ✩‧₊˚

Warnings; BSD Spoilers, mentions of death, ch. 112 events, soft!fyodor

Description; Having a nightmare about your partner dying and waking up to him comforting you

A/n; i'm supposed to be doing a saq rn but I COULDNT NOT POST ON NEW CHAPTER DAY AHHHH I WANNA BE FYODORS MEDIEVAL HOUSE SPOUSE SO BAD IN EVERY LIFE TIME

ೃ⁀➷

Everything felt so real- you watched as your lover got into a helicopter with a briefcase containing an antidote, expecting a swift escape from Mersault only to be impaled by an iron rod. You watched as his eyes widened and his slender fingers wrapped around the pole. Blood trickled from both the new piercing in his midsection and between his lips while his breathing became shaky. He glared at another man in your dream who has been rendered faceless while speaking, although everything in the dream was silent so you couldn't make out any particular words or sentences.

The night terror didn't stop at your boyfriend being impaled, as a matter of fact it made you watch as the helicopter was messily flown directly into a tower and burst into flames with Fyodor still inside. You tried to hurry towards the aircraft, but it exploded before you could reach it. The blast didn't effect you, not scorching you or propelling you backwards at all, but letting you stand there and watch as all hope of getting Fyodor out of there shattered like glass. The crackling embers of fire surrounding you gradually became accompanied by a soft whisper-one that was all too familiar and thick with sleep. You were still in shock from the dream when your eyes snapped open, your legs curled inward with Fyodors chest to your back and his hand soothingly rubbing your side. "It's okay, Moya Lyubov, what happened?" He asks you, his eyebrows furrowed and his breath warm against your ear as he presses a chaste kiss to the nape of your neck. "Nightmare. You're...you're okay." You murmur, relief taking over your heart and mind. You rolled over, your body pushing his backwards a bit. "Ofcourse I'm alright. I'm not going anywhere, y/n, I promise. Was the dream about me getting hurt?" He correctly assumes, his tired gaze fixed on your own. "Mmm, worse, dying." You say, your heart finally returning to a steady pace.

"Ah, that makes more sense. You were very restless, you know." He tells you. "It's easy to tell when you have nightmares, you're like a dog. You make some distressed noises and kick your legs." He says with a grin. You sigh and close your eyes, pressing your head to his chest. "It's better than being stiff as a board though, 'cause that means you'll pick up on it and be all sweet and affectionate." You say. Your arms wrap around his torso like they would with a stuffed toy. "I'd say I'm rather affectionate regardless. You're just needy." He looks down at you and pushes your head out from his chest, kissing your forehead while his other hand slides up the back of your sweater and rests on the small of your back. You hum and twist the fabric of his tee-shirt between your pointer and thumb. "M'not needy." You roll your eyes and look up at him through your eyelashes. "If you insist." He says, closing his eyes and readying himself to delve back into a dreamless sleep. "Mhm..g'night, Fedya, I love you." You say, pressing a quick kiss to his lips that gets his eyes to open right back up. He kisses you back and smiles faintly. "Good night, Y/n, I love you too, sleep well." His arm drapes over your side with the blanket strewn messily over the both of you. Now you could sleep a little more peacefully with the reassurance of your lovers presence in your arms, and more importantly, his safety.

A/n; i speedran this tbh, so I'm sorry if it's not great. Also, would if I made like,,, a taglist would any of y'all wanna be on it because I see so many people do it and it looks cool but I've been too nervous to like say anything or ask bc I don't want people to be like "ew no wtf" THATS LITERALLY NOT GONNA HAPPEN BUT LIKE IDK I'm scared djsjjfjekekak

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ headcannons: team stan with a careless friend✧.*

✧.* tags: college au

✧.* Characters: kenny mccormick, kyle broflovski, stan marsh, eric cartman, butters stotch

a/n: I usually don't add cartman to these things bc he stinks+loser+annoying+suckmydick but I know he'd take advantage of someone who hod so sense of mortality so he gets a pass this time ig.

masterlist

Kenny

He mistakes the carelessness for spontaneity and immediately assigns you as his go to “lets do something stupid I just thought of” partner

He’s a “try everything once” kind of guy so it’s perfect that you have no sense of self preservation

“Kenny stand on the other side of the field, I wanna see how far I can throw my phone.”

“Okay.”

You both infuriate stan to no end

#annoyingduo in the best way possible 

Do NOT put the two of you in the same room at a party

All of a sudden there’s a 15 person game of just dance happening but there’s no screen?? You’re all just doing moves you saw on just dance

Everyday is a new adventure

Kenny probably has an eye out for you though

He can die doing something stupid and be back the next day but you on the other hand are not 

Gotta keep his partner in crime alive! There’s a bunch of other things on his “before I die (for real)” bucket list that you still need to mark off

Kyle

You just get caught up in the moment! You have such a wonder for life!

Kyle doesn’t get it sometimes seeing as he tries to view everything logically. 

He’s more like a babysitter when you both go somewhere

“You did not just spend $300 on knock off jordans from a random man on the street corner.”

“I did and they’re the comfiest shoes I’ve ever worn. He told me they’ll cure my posture problems.”

“Do you just believe anything someone tells you?”

“Coming from someone who almost cried when I didn’t use his Candy Crush referral code so he could get more lives, that’s really rich.”

Okay so he gets swept up in trends sometimes. At least he understands his own mortality!

After the third time you try to learn how to do a backflip and fail miserably, he has to leave the room to keep from screaming 

keeps a mental count of the things you do every day that should kill you

the current record is 14

Stan

He doesn’t understand how you can just go through your day without a care

Are you not afraid of dying? That’s like 32% of his thoughts during the day

“Fuck I dropped my credit card down the drain. Stan, hold my ankles while I reach down to grab it.”

“I can literally see the used heroin needles down there.”

“Okay and??? Not my fault the city doesn’t have a safe use zone, I need that card!” 

One time you guys were leaving a store and the alarm went off 

Stan turned to ask you if you got the security tags removed but you we’re already sprinting halfway across the mall

Not because you stole anything, but because you saw jimmy, clyde, and tolkien walking out of a store and wanted to say hi

And then you spent the rest of the day being lectured by an underpaid paul blart wannabe

Stan was freaking out because he thought you would get arrested for causing a scene or something (they find any reason to arrest someone in south park) 

But all you did was laugh in that light hearted, careless way you always do

Cartman

Bro will manipulate your carelessness for all its worth

You are now the second person he calls when he has some stupid plot that needs someone who doesn’t understand the concept of death

If kenny’s busy, you’re on speed dial

Honestly, you’re probably the first call because you’ll do something stupid without needing to be paid! 

Free labor!

Wanna work at dicknbaus hot dogs for 14 hours with no pay? It’s free hotdogs! You’re in! 

Hes an exploitative motherfucker 

Thats all im here to say about it

butters 

You’re going to give him a heart attack

One time you purposely kicked a medicine ball to see how far it would go and broke your foot

And he was more worried about your foot than you were!

“Oh jesus, can you move it?”

“Um… no I don’t think so. Lemme take off my sock”

“AH ITS PURPLE!”

“Oh damn, you’re right. That’s a nice shade though, I was thinking of painting my room that color!”

“NOW IS NOT THE TIME TO BE TALKING ABOUT THIS”

Unlike kyle, he can’t force himself to ignore your careless nature

He’s always worrying about you 

He’ll suggest you both go to first aid classes or cpr training whenever you hang out “just for fun!”

but really he needs to know that you at least have some first aid knowledge if you're going to keep running around like death is a social construct

[beanghostprincess]

(Trans women usopp has stolen my heart I think just love women in general ) Usopp Robin and Nami have a nice self care day with just the girls. (Chopper is invited too, they can't say no to him.) They stay in the shower room, they fill the bath and run the showers on hot. They play relaxing music, Nami bought lavender shower steamers, Robin lit candles. Usopp gets sanji to make hors d'oeuvres and fancy drinks he leaves them at the bathroom door. No peeking!

Chopper brought a video transponder snail to watch a movie. Usopp does their hair she's been practicing her braiding. She gave Robin a nice Dutch braid and Nami a mermaid tail. She also curled copper's little tuff of fur on his head, in return robin has been researching how to do textured hair and gave her a French braid and afro puff combo.

While they were relaxing and talking Luffy showed up asking what they were doing? Nami scolds him for coming in knowing that they're all naked and asks why is he even here? and close the door he knows how fast Brooke and Sanji are.

Luffy explained he only came into the bathroom because he needed to poop (no manners whatsoever) and Zoro was using the other bathroom to meditate. Robin and Usopp are not really affected by his antics and just enjoy Nami yelling at him. Luffy being unfazed by her tongue lashing casually sits down and eats the treats Sanji made for them. He doesn't get why it's such a big deal. Like you're just naked, plus chopper is here and he's not a girl and he's seen usopp naked before (granted this was pre-transition but I guess his point still stands)

Robin invites him to join them but lock the door. You may be the exception but the others are not. Despite Nami's protests Luffy has already stripped and jumped in slashing every one ( imagine getting so far in his journey to become the king of the pirates only to die in bathwater). She sighed in defeat and just accepted that he's here, could be worse.

They continue what they were talking about. Nami is learning how to make hail and she made a tornado by accident of course and she's still trying to recreate it.

Usopp learned how to crossbreed one of her poison pop seeds and her thorny pop seats and made a new weapon. She's also trying to make a pleasant smelling corpse plant. She tried roses, lavender and even sage. But nothing works. Nami suggests that maybe she should use tangerines to cross breed.

Robin has been researching about a vase she found, made of wood and clay. Apparently it's from an island that is isolated from the rest of the world. Everything is handmade or out of scratch, their recipes, their clothing even their soaps. All of their food is homegrown and their meat is known as the best meat in the world.

Luffy didn't need any more convincing he got out and commanded Franky to change course to go to find this island. (Sanji and Brooke tackled Luffy demanding every juicy detail of what he saw in there.) Of course everyone had to get out and get to their stations ruining their whole little spa day. Nami was specifically pissed because she's the navigator.

I love women too <- A lesbian.

This is such a cute and adorable idea!!! I love them!!! I've always thought Nami and Robin let Usopp join their girl nights even before coming out bc they've always felt safe around her, and when she came out it wasn't really a surprise to them tbh. Their spa day looks so cozy and relaxing (until they interrupt them)!! It sounds great. They'd do this 100%. And Luffy would stay bc Luffy is Luffy and the concept of intimacy for him isn't really a thing. Plus bold of you to assume he's a man. Non-binary king, that's what he is. Also Chopper staying with them also makes sense and it's extremely cute!!! Sanji is literally dying to go in there lmfao-- Not to make this about Sanuso but I think he waits by the bathroom door like a wet dog to see his girlfriend again. He misses her! Clingy golden retriever.

[splatooshy]

okay, so i’ve got my ‘Eternal Teenager’ verse, right — yk, the one where enzo and damon escape in the 50s and then pose as stefan’s legal guardians in 2009, that one?

well, i forgot about it until a moment ago, when i came across the file for it and saw some of the gems in there.

and boy, oh boy, are there some gems.

- damon gets enzo to steal thierry’s hat each time hes in nola (‘cause damon’s banned n all). has a collection of them (maybe a whole cupboard of them? idk something wacky like that. a display cabinet? each hat on a little stand with an engraved label below).

- kol turned enzo. idgaf about canon, this is a true story.

in 1888, kol’s moseying ‘round london, a-whistling and a-ripper-ing when a dying enzo turns up, sees kol dismantling a woman like a grotesque puzzle, and goes “huh. could you spare any change?” and kol thinks it would be a catastrophe to deprive the world of a man that unphased by the sight of innards becoming outtards, so, deciding he’s found a new best friend with benefits, kol turns enzo, declaring him the world’s most level headed vampire. enzo goes along with it because, well, he doesn’t really have anything better to do.

1914 - damon’s living it up in nola and so is kol. enzo signs up for the great war as an american, because kol says he has a top secret mission he needs enzo for. (“hey mate, while you’re over there, think you could shoot at marcellus with wooden bullets for me?” “we’re on the same side…” “please 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” “if i see him, sure. not gonna hunt him down though.) enzo leaves kol at the bar less than a minute before damon walks in (they pass eachother at the threshold.) damon is meeting freya because they’re bffs, kol sees them sitting at their table and thinks to himself ‘wow look at that lovely lass on a date over there. i should go over and ask her out.’ and struts on over to hit on freya. freya just looks at damon, then at her brother, going ‘yeah, um, i’m not really interested, sorry.’ and kol instantly grins and waggles his eyebrows knowingly like ‘ah, i see. you’re one for the ladies then, aren’t you? no matter.’ and then turns to damon and starts flirting with him. (on the extremely rare occasion that someone may not want to have sex with him, kol instantly decides they’re most definitely a lesbian. because even the straightest male would jump him in an instant.)

oh and once kol decides that freyas a lesbian, he won’t hear otherwise, not even 96 years later when he’s undaggered (“damon, what happened to the clever witch you befriended?” “i’ve known lots of clever witches, kol, you’re gonna have to be more specific” “the lesbian, from new orleans” damon blinks “freya? she wasn’t a lesbian…” “uh, yeah she was, she told me so herself” “no, she just didn’t want to sleep with you,” “exactly, because she was a lesbian!”) OH OH OH and finn’s in the background being all… well, finn, and he perks up like a little dog when he overhears freya’s name. fun bit irrelevant to the plot.

ANYWAYS back to 1914. so enzos at war, kols up to nefarious acts with mary alice and astrid, damon and freya are best friends and have comfort sex bc theyre both tragically touch starved. damon and kol have a sneaky little thing on the side, but then one day kol disappears #daggered and then freya tells damon to meet her outside dowager fauline cottage in 99 years before disappearing. damon’s sad and thinks ‘well at least i’ve learned to be patient’ (thinking of katherine).

[subsequentibis]

could you please talk more about the metal gear pro wrestling au? i’m obsessed with the concept

okokok. you might be a wrestling fan already but for accessibility’s sake i will be defining my terms here. baby face / face = good guy, heel = bad guy, kayfabe = anything that is true within the wrestling storyline but not necessarily real life. also this was written with my boyfriend @accursedapothecary who did a LOT of the heavy lifting on the plot details ily babe

any group like foxhound, dead cell, diamond dogs, outer heaven, etc, these are all wrestling factions & stables, groups of wrestlers who are allied together and train together and might tag team or show up at each other’s matches to help out or cheer their compatriots on.

solid snake is an up and coming babyface who’s training under the tutelage of kazuhira “hellmaster” miller, an old retired veteran who had like a babyface turned heel turned face again kind of arc, and he’s training him up to take down big boss who is THEE champion, took a title off miller ten years back and has still hung doggedly onto it since. snake beats him, but the title is stolen by liquid snake, a new heel trained by ocelot, who had an on-again off-again tag team thing with big boss when they were in the diamond dogs faction together also with miller, but that whole faction imploded bc big boss and miller had a falling out and went their separate ways, but ocelot was just sort of following big boss around like a lost puppy for a while til boss took the title and then sort of disappeared for a really long time before surfacing again like two years back. that was such a long sentence. ANYWAY. ocelot also challenges kaz to come out of retirement and have one last match with him… A HAIR MATCH. which if you are not familiar the loser of a hair match has to shave their head. kaz loses, VERY sad, his version of dying in this universe is losing his pretty long hair…

SNAKE GOES TO AVENGE HIM THOUGH. takes on foxhound, defeats ocelot with the help of a mysterious masked figure who later challenges him to a match (i can’t stress how extremely Wrestling everything going on with grey fox is.), gets help from meryl in the fights against mantis & wolf, then defeats liquid and gets the title from him BUT then it turns out the big boss he defeated for the title in the first place WASN’T EVEN BIG BOSS. which is also, i cannot stress enough, SUCH a wrestling plotline. also at some point in all this liquid has been impersonating miller on the sidelines and does a whole vince mcmahon IT WAS ME! IT WAS ME SNAKE! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG SNAKE. otacon’s been in like a semi-manager role as well and after the reveal shifts to full time managing. also after the fake big boss reveal venom retires and goes to live with kaz <3 i think at one point there was a really bad botch with a turnbuckle that ripped his actual head open and now in kayfabe they say he’s still got part of it lodged in his skull. venom also used to be a ringside medic and then one day when he was patching up ocelot after a blading incident gone wrong ocelot was like dude. has anyone ever told you you look EXACTLY like big boss. someone call up the big guy i got an angle for him. and venom had always wanted to be in the ring so he was sooo happy when he got the chance… but he’s like a total softie when he’s out of character and talks everyone through the best way to take his moves without getting hurt, it’s like a complete 180 from his in-ring persona. i love him.

also foxdie is a kayfabe thing they use to explain it when someone gets a real bad injury and has to retire early i think… snake gets it which is Sad. so he starts training raiden to take over for him…

that's all i have right now. kisses you gently on the forehead thank u for asking

[twink-between-worlds]

I'm like dealing with migraine or something and shouldn't be on my devices but I actually adore your Sims designs. They're so them

Legend deserves those pink sparkly cowboy boots

Please give me the reasons for the choices (if you'd like too, no pressure) I love ur rambling

i hope u feel better soon dawg :(

and hehe thank u. theyre so silly. legend DEFINITELY deserved those boots and if i wanted 2 we could have given him a pink cowboy hat 2 match,,,,

anyways!

we gave wind hearing aids because. that kid got launched out of a canon. that HAD to have done something to lil mans hearing. he has them in both ears. hes also just very....i always imagine him with green eyes! not sure why, but he just seems the type to have green eyes. lil cat kid. his bracelet and necklace are both ones that look like they were made by Aryll

Four's hair is dyed black at the ends to replicate shadow. (Shadows hair, while not the same length or style as fours, has the same thing going on just swapped. black hair + blonde dipdye) their glasses are just because i feel like if anyone in the chain has glasses? its four. the big tattoo they have is more to connect the colours a bit more. in all of fours outfits, it switches which colour is most prominent. their everyday is the only one thats got all of them + a neutral grey. they also get the green scrunchie because if any of them have scrunchies it is ABSOLUTELY going to be four

twilight gets the dog-tag earring because it was funny. his eyes are also a yellowish gold because ill die before thats taken from me. his hair is the way it is because i cannot imagine twi with symmetrical hair. he would love the asymmetry.

wars is another one who i just feel like has green eyes. his hair is also dyed blond, and he's naturally got brown hair (like four!). the beauty mark was just a fun little touch. i also dont think its very noticable, but he has dimples ! his earrings being, like, a swatch-pad of blue is just more relating to a headcanon we have about him being into design and art

legend remains as the character i will never see as white. his hair was our FAVOURITE dawg....it just fits him so fuckin well....his outfit is also my favourite. the cowboy boots, again, were a must. (there was a swatch of them that was pink and purple but we decided on just the pink). his nails are painted but his nail polish is chipped, unlike the rest of the chain that have nail polish on. the necklace reminded us of a beehive / honeycomb. the bandage on his wrist is because i think legend is the type to always be injured. literally always. there is not a moment where this boy is not injured in some way.

skys earrings are just to reference crime since there are no birds in the sims :( thas his friend. he gets the comfiest looking outfit because i truly think he would not like the way jeans and such feel. he just wouldnt like how they feel at ALLL. he would be the comfiest mfer on the scene and he does not care what u think about him. no cares in the world, hes COMFY !! thats all he cares abt !!

rulie was never white to me either tbh. all his clothes are patchwork, and i like to think either he patched them together, or legend patched them together for him. he doesnt see the point in buying new clothes when he can just put stuff together and call it a day. he has the curliest fuckin hair of the whole group. his hair is naturally like that.

we literally just found the most dad-oriented outfits for time and mixed it with tired farmer. tired farmer dad aesthetic. im really lucky we fuckin had the heterochromia that made his eye white or else we were in TROUBLE haha. his hair hides it but he has little ear hoops in. he also has his wedding ring on. its not special its just a golden band but u never see him without it. his hair is also just cool to me i like it and dont get to use that one much !

god i love these sm. theyve all got little things thrown in to relate to things abt them (twi being covered in dirt bc he is the ultimate farmboy, legends earrings (although hidden) being pink and purple, legends nails being painted green bc of ravios eyes (ravios r painted red 4 the same reason), fours hairclip + choker being holographic for their colours, their nails being painted black for shadow, wind wearing jewellery that looks like his sister made it, etc.) and i could explode over it HAHA

[starjxsung]

hi baby <333 i hope you had the absolute best time at the ateez concert!! i saw some clips on twt and i died, they looked soooo good😭

it’s been a really rough month in every sense tbh. i still haven’t heard back from the practicum but im not even bothering to write anymore. and we’re coping alright now with the doggy passing away but the first few days were really rough. i think we (but especially my bf and his fam) were clinging too much to her when she was clearly too sick </3 but all is well. thank you for the good wishes. i really appreciate them.

my bf literally stole his brother’s record player to play the ateez album for me so i vote for you to do it too😂

and about jisung, like, i literally said the same thing. i was just like “i’d have babies with any of them, they don’t even have to raise them”. (i dont plan on ever having kids either or particularly like those that aren’t part of my family) even my bf said it was understandable😂 the european air really did a number on them bc they looked so so so so good.

AND BTW DID YOU HEAR ABOUT JISUNG SUPPOSEDLY HAVING A CHEST TATTOO BC IM DYING. that is the single sexiest thing he could’ve done.

and i did hear about taemin’s tour and im so manifesting having money to be able to go😭😭😭😭 but idk if i’ll skip it to financially recover from skz (in general, they manage all my money. they’re doing a terrible job).

anyways, i love you so much bb i hope all is well. i can’t wait to hear about your ateez concerts. i’m so excited! (alsoooo lolla is in 2 weeks!!! and they have plant based options now, as a person who occasionally eats meat but doesn’t like the taste, i cheered). take care my love <3

-🐈‍⬛

hi baby !!!!!!!! Ahhhhh Ateez was insane 😭😭 there were so many sweet atinys around us and I got the cutest freebies <3 we tried to get merch beforehand but it was SO much more crowded this time around so a lot of it was sold out which was such a bummer ☹️ I did manage to get a Seonghwa picket but I’m gonna try to get there a little earlier for tomorrow’s show for a tshirt 🫶 fingers crossed they have them in stock this time ! I did feel super bad bc Seonghwa’s grandfather passed away the day before my show so he was crying during his ments and I just wanted to give him the biggest hug ☹️ I hope he’s doing a little better but I can’t imagine how hard it must be for him 💔 I just landed in LA a few hours ago so I’ll let you know how tomorrow’s show goes !!

Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that you still haven’t heard from your practicum 😞 I don’t even blame you for not reaching out anymore, I’d give up too. I just can’t believe how incompetent they’ve been throughout the whole process. And on top of all the stress with your bf’s dog, and just in the midst of such a busy time. I am so so sorry and I’ll keep manifesting that things start looking up soon 🫶 my sister actually didn’t end up coming to LA and she’s not going to Lolla after all bc she’s just too stressed about her internship and she doesn’t feel like she can fully enjoy anything right now. It really sucks to travel solo after all but I don’t blame her and I’m so frustrated for both of you. Sending you all my love and hoping they get back to you soon :(

PLSSSS the Jisung thing is so real 😭😭 ALSO YES I HEARD ABOUT THE TATTOO I genuinely couldn’t use my phone for a good hour after reading the news bc I was tweaking so hard LIKE RIGHTTT ON THE JITTIES™️ IS INSAAAAANE………. I saw a sketch of what its presumed to look like and I think it’s so sweet that he got it for his family 🥹 Jisung my beloved (he actually got my name tattooed it’s true)

Also manifesting Taemin US dates soooo hard 😔🤞 the first set of dates are all Asia which I’m not surprised about but I hope he comes back to LA at least !!

I love you so so much bby I can’t wait to tell you all about LA !!!! And then Lolla next oh my god it doesn’t feel real 😭 also I did NOT hear about the plant based options and as a vegetarian that’s like…. The next best thing after seeing Jisung in the flesh 💓❣️🙏

Ateez pics ofc also peep my little Ateez pajama shirt I bought for LA 👼🫶💓💓💓

[primaviva]

Primagirl I saw yu fucking wit that girl this morning and I was dying at the fucking gag ball ☠️. Then I got nosy and hopped to the girl page and all I seen is the self anon self love. Presure I use to follow her during summer but not no more���🏾‍♀️ I just needed me sum mile content to hold me down. To get defensive bout that stupid ahh post you was reblogging is ODE.

it’s honestly so stupid how it started from her feeling personally attacked in statements that were not threatening to her character and a generalized post that she got her alt reblog warrior on to handle so she didn’t look bad. the thing is, it’s so painfully obvious they are the same that it’s embarrassing seeing her roleplay as them in this manner. she was yappin all night like a dog left outside from night to morning anoning herself and making posts to her inactives that could care less about this 😭😭😭 saying yao got us to stand on business and hyping up her oc and then when it’s brought up how she’s making ableist comments, does questionable behavior, etc she starts blocking people. then she wanted to go note to note with me, got gagged, and deleted everything cus she don’t want it to show.

it’s childish, embarrassing, and sad. like i feel bad for her that she has this attachment to tumblr and feels the need to anon herself and cause things (unrelated) to this to make her internet life more interesting. it’s like another rashad, as i said before, where people are insecure or in a bad place so they get on the internet and it ultimately becomes more than a fun escape and just their life to a point that they go out of their way to defend by saying empty points and sad ass comebacks. that’s why she deleted it all because she don’t want nobody seeing how embarrassing it is while she calls herself unbothered but she’s very much bothered and you cant entertain people like that bc they fall further into it.

at one point she called me “bird brain” and “small fry” like that’s what the disney channel bully calls the new kid after pushing him to the floor and asking him for his lunch money. there’s no other word BUT embarrassing especially when she got anons and started taking her anger out on them thinking it was me instead of concluding that your behavior isn’t correct.

it was just one big character reveal especially when she tried to talk on my writing, my notes, etc and immediately deleted it so i wouldn’t see cus she didn’t double check before 😕 it’s insecurity, mental health, and bad attachments to the internet and im not gonna be the one to keep her entertained in her room all day as she sits and crafts storylines. do not send inboxes asking, do not comment anything, do not encourage this fragile ego to attack others on the internet.

ITS THE INTERNET���.NEVER EVER EVA THAT SERIOUS 🙏 not answering anymore of these because i don’t want her mary sue oc coming at me like a first grader with the access to tiktok comments and an ipad 🙌

[toadkisses]

i’m actually an incurable gossip and often develop very strong opinions very quickly, but something vitally important to me is staying out of any and all drama at work. so i can’t talk about this at work because of my personal prime directive but i can talk about it HERE!!

so new job is at kennel, it’s pretty chill and i worked at a kennel before for multiple years so i’m not having to learn a lot, mostly just getting back in the swing of things. i have another coworker (coworker A) who is in the same boat. our manager is pansexual and very cool and i like her and respect her and trust her. HOWEVER

it’s been a little ~weird~ because Coworker B has worked at this kennel for 2 years and seems to have a little bit of an issue with coworker A and me. like nothing overt but she has apparently told coworkers C and D that she doesn’t want us learning how to use the computer or check people in? because coworker B wants to be the one to do that fsr (probably bc it’s the least labor intensive if im being a little ungenerous)

based on this i THINK she’s also told coworker D not to teach me how to operate the crematory (it’s okay we’re attached to a vet office lol)

which is like. all really lame and petty and pretty embarrassing and annoying. bc like she is 22 and i have worked in the animal industry a lot longer than she has? OH MY GODDDDD it was so petty and weird we were talking about things we had to do, and a dog needed a nail trim, and i LITERALLY WENT TO GROOMING SCHOOL so i said “hey i’ll do it!” and she SNUCK OFF to do it HERSELF???? like i am not dying to clip a dogs nails but like wtf????

but anyway last friday coworker A and i were closing and left to take these two Extremely Aggressive dogs outside to potty (imo they should not have been checked in, bc one literally jumped at coworker B’s throat so it’s crazy to me that she didn’t say “nah this is unsafe”)

and it took forever because AGGRESSIVE DOGS so we left way past closing but still got all our tasks done

but today after a work meeting my manager says she wants to talk to me, and asks “hey did you do X and Y when you guys closed the other day” and i was like “yes as far as i remember, it was a really hectic night so i guess it’s possible some bits got missed but i do remember doing it”

and she was like “okay. because i overheard “someone” who opened the morning after complaining to someone else that none of it was done, but this person has a history of over exaggerating things so i wanted to get your side. also sorry for not taking those dogs out myself i was working for 12 hours and didn’t think clearly” (very appreciative of the apology)

so like. we can all see the schedule so i KNOW it must have been coworker B talking to coworker C disparaging me and coworker A

which pisses me off because i take serious pride in doing my work thoroughly and consistently. like *I* was the one who mopped everywhere on our slow day and cleaned the bathroom and the vents and disinfected all the door handles and cleaned the glass while she and coworker D literally sat at the desk watching tiktoks

but it doesn’t matter bc i asked manager for a quick chat and told her like “i am here to do my job and i want you to know that i am not involved in this weird power struggle and do not WANT to be involved” and she was like “i know this and i love you and i’m hoping to resolve this soon”

so. that’s my work gossip. i am perfect and everyone knows it.

[annieisyourfavourite]

okay i finally have the time to write out an explanation of what all has been going on with me the last like, month - all the stuff i've been alluding to. this is gonna be real, real long, so story time is under the cut.

so some setup. i lived with my parents until just a few months ago. i moved out and now live with my oldest brother, sean, and his 2 (well, it's 1 now but at the time) dogs. at my parents' house, it is my mom and dad, my little brother luke, his fiancee, and my paternal grandmother who we call baba. my parents also have 4 dogs.

baba was living on her own in serbia, but she had a stroke in february, and since my dad is her only kid, we took her in. baba has a lot of needs, and so my brothers and i have been urging them to get her into a nursing home. but for some reason my parents aren't doing this, despite the fact that it would improve everyone's lives tenfold.

because see baba? has been abusive to my dad and to us for his whole life. she has some trauma-induced mental illnesses that she doesn't like to treat, which means she often isn't in the same reality as everyone else. i say this not to imply that mentally ill people are abusive. but rather her mental instability is a big factor in the way that she acts and treats people. and also, if she wasn't mentally ill, my father would probably never speak to her for all the abhorrent things she's done. he can already barely stand her, and his anger issues and trauma responses have become very intense since she's been around.

i also have been abused by baba, and so i have told my family i won't engage with her as much as possible. it was hard when i lived there. but since moving out, i've said i refuse to babysit her or be her caretaker, since i can also hardly be around her without losing my shit. i've told my parents this. when she starts ranting about her paranoid delusions, i can't handle it. if she starts getting upset, i can't handle it. i remember her locking us 4 small children under the age of 12 out of her house when she was watching us because she thought we were annoying. i feel very unsafe around her!!! very bad!!!!

so! the reason all this is relevant. is that my whole family, save myself and baba, just went on a vacation for 2 weeks to the british isles. we've known about this trip for a long time. and i set up with my oldest brother that i would watch the 2 dogs at our house while he was gone. my other brother matt, who would be joining them later, was to watch baba and the 4 dogs up there. except. i learned like 2 weeks before they left. that matt couldn't do the weekends and the end of the trip. so there were 8 days total out of 14 that he wasn't gonna be there (bc matt sucks but that's a different post). so my mother calls me. and says they need me to watch everyone during those times.

at first she had told me it was 1 weekend (like saturday and sunday) and that was it, and i agreed to it even though it sucked. but then after revealing how much it was, i started saying no, i can't do that, that's obviously too much. out of the 6 dogs, 2 of them are new puppies. and 1 of them was an old dog who was dying of cancer. the old dog also couldn't be in the same room as one of the other ones, because they'd try to kill each other.

so like. far too much for 1 person to try and take care of. i said no i won't, i can't. and my mom got so mad at me. i told her i can't psychologically handle being trapped in a house with baba for that long. she said "can't you just suck it up this one time?" i said that's not how abuse trauma works. she said "i can't believe you're trying to ruin our once in a lifetime vacation." i said i'm physically disabled and that is too much. too bad.

i kept trying to find some help. but the problem was, even if someone could watch some dogs, they couldn't do that AND watch baba. and vice versa if someone could watch baba. and i needed to be away from her. however the time for the trip came, and there was no one else to help. so my parents left! they said i don't care what you say annie, we need someone to take care of it, and if you don't, your dogs and grandmother will die without proper care.

so i did it!! because they knew i would do it if there was literally no one else. and i was begging them to try and help, try to understand the price this was going to take. my dad kinda did. but didn't do anything to help. my mom just thought it would be fine.

so for 2 weeks. i was in charge of old dying dog and puppy 24/7. and then sick baba and 4 other dogs for over half the time. on top of trying to do rehearsals for a show i'm currently in. and i couldn't handle it!! i suffered, hm. 10 mental breakdowns at least? so many dogs. so much chaos. so much cleaning up messes from the puppies because they're puppies.

i called my mom, having a breakdown, the first weekend because i was supposed to go to an event for my boyfriend's work, and baba was fighting me on the plan. it was a whole mess. i literally owe my life to kayla (@/modestclam) because she came by on her 1 day off from her 2 jobs to help.

during this time, i also had a job interview in the city because i'm unemployed. and when there. my car got towed. i'm pretty sure incorrectly, i'm trying to contest the ticket. but i was stranded in the city, disabled and alone, and i had to spend over $300 just to get to the lot and get my car back, which i simply do not have. it took an extra 5 hours.

during the last weekend, i decided to keep the old dog chloe at my house, and my boyfriend came and watched her for the 5 days i was at the other house, because i was worried about moving her. my goal had been to just get her to the sunday when sean was getting back. she was clearly sick and i knew she didn't have long. but i was trying my best to just keep her going til then.

so i'm in the psychological torture zone up north. i had to drive back to my house at one point to help give chloe a bath, because she had intestinal issues and got stuff stuck to her backside, and my boyfriend was freaking out. and when i got back? the puppies. also had intestinal issues. all over the house. it took me 2 hours to clean, with baba obsessively following me the whole time. i have at least 1 breakdown every day. i have to miss a number of rehearsals either because i couldn't leave the dogs and baba alone, or because i was so dead tired i could barely move.

during this time. my mom also texts me. that my grandfather's partner had called and said he was in the hospital. he had a fall i believe? and so if anything happened, even though he lives a state away, i would have to be on call, since i was the only one in the country at that moment. because i guess she wants me to have a heart attack at age 25??

my little brother luke got back on tuesday evening, late. (he flew into an airport in canada and my mom wanted me to go drive the 2.5 hours there, pick him up, and drive back. i told her she must be on crack to think i would do that.) him and his fiancee weren't feeling well, but they took over main dog management. i went home to chloe.

the very next day. my parents and maternal grandma get home. grandma hadn't been feeling well, so she was gonna stay with my parents for a bit. except. the very morning after they got back. she tested positive for covid. and everyone in the house was sick.

my mom calls me asking me to take grandma to the doctor to get paxlovid (which i had taken and it helped me). everyone in the house is sick and they need my help. my oldest brother sean wasn't even back yet, he had an extra like 5 days, so i was still watching his dogs. i didn't even get 1 day after the 2 weeks from hell to rest. my grandma ended up going to the ER and getting put on oxygen. she was there 5 days and wasn't allowed visitors. i had to call around and get her affairs in order for her to stay there. the sick household includes: my mom who is 62, my dad who is 59 and has a genetic condition that gives him a weak heart, my little brother who ALSO has that heart condition and had heart surgery just this year, his fiancee who has autoimmune deficiencies, and my baba, who is t2 diabetic and in her 80s.

so i was stressed, to say the least. and during all THIS, chloe, the old dog, starts taking a turn for the worse. i'm doing everything i can to make her comfortable and keep her around, cleaning up her messes, hand feeding her dinner, whatever i can do. i go out to celebrate a friend's birthday saturday, and it's fun, but the whole time i'm stressed for what i'm gonna come home to. since sean was getting in sunday night. just 24 more hours.

when we got home, she greeted us happily. i got her to eat her dinner, drink water, take her pills, and even gave her belly rubs for a while. she was doing well. we all go to sleep.

and when my boyfriend and i wake up that sunday morning, the day sean was getting back. we found her unresponsive, having passed away in her sleep next to my bed. less than 24 hours before sean would have gotten to see her again.

to say i was devastated would be an understatement. i loved that dog so much. and i worked so hard to get her to the end of the trip. i used all my resources, i did everything i could. and she died in my room the same day my brother came back, before they could see each other. my heart? broken

luckily at this time i had family back, so my dad and luke came to put her in the box and deal with it, cuz i was well and truly at my limit. not a single day of rest in weeks. sean got home that night and the next day, we went up north at my parents house to bury her where we bury all our pets who have passed.

digging the grave was hard and miserable, because the spot we needed had a ton of roots in the way, and it was raining, and sean was limping bc of his bad foot, and everyone had covid, and it was just awful. i ended up doing a lot of work, even though i myself am physically disabled and very weak. my right arm and wrist still hurt real bad, and it's been 3 days since.

that night. THAT NIGHT!!!! THAT WE WERE BURYING HER!!! baba was delirious and coughing. she clearly had caught covid, as we knew she would. and covid really messes with her, especially her already frail mental faculties. she collapsed in the kitchen. so the following morning, my dad took her to the ER (after a lot of fighting from her). she was admitted to the hospital in poor condition. they think she has pneumonia. her bloodsugars have been bad for weeks, because we were waiting on an appointment with her doctor to up her meds. at the hospital they are giving her insulin (which she doesn't usually take?? irresponsible) but they can't get her bloodsugar down. which, when it comes to covid, isn't good. it's known that if you're diabetic, and you're admitted to the hospital with covid, and your bloodsugar is high? it's essentially a death sentence. your chance of mortality increases tenfold.

so i had to miss rehearsal again (this is where that post about my director being a bitch comes in). the director has also been making my life a living hell for this, punishing me for having all this going on. my part is like 7 lines, and yet she still is in my face constantly.

:-) so that's where i'm at!!!! my september has been such a blur of mental and physical distress, i'm surprised i'm still breathing tbh. i have therapy twice a week, and when i emailed my therapist the dog + covid update, he responded "holy shit." we've been trying our best, but he's like "the goal is to stay alive, please just stay alive, don't try to aim any higher." i just. don't have anything else in me, you know? i already was gonna need like a week to recover from the vacation stuff. and now with this. it's just like. how much is a person expected to take, you know? how much can a body hold before it falls apart? i'm hoping soon, god, please soon, i'll be able to rest a bit. but man.

it's been a rough fucking month.

[rekikiri]

Bonfire jack-o'-lantern cinnamon and fireside! (@stabbyfoxandrew)

bonfire (describe your dream house) - okay kinda long answer because I’ve thought about this many times since once the interest rates are down i will likely be getting a house lmao. apologies for the long answer.

so I want a brick house, preferable the colors kinda muted. either gray and black brick or red and black. idk why it’s just nice to me. for the inside, I want a very open living room and a decently sized kitchen. at least probably 4-5 bedrooms so that if i choose to have or adopt kids they’d each get their own room AND I can keep having a game room/office. (Im in a two bedroom so it’s very convenient to keep all expensive electronics and a lot of my nerd shit away from the other rooms).

(doing a break here)

Id LOVE having a wall full of shelves with one of those ladders to have my own personal library to fill with books and trinkets. and a tall fence to have space for when I get a dog (not getting a dog in an apartment, I cannot consistently walk a dog on a leash and go to parks where I’m at). hopefully no neighbors super close they need to be a bit away from me

jack o’ lantern (if you could look like any celebrity, who would you choose?) - I already have a few celebrities that I’ve been told I look very similar to (and one who my best friend who once said I look so much like this actress she couldn’t comfortably watch a triggering show). but maybe sandra bullock? she’s one of the prettiest women I’ve ever seen. i don’t do celebrity crushes but if I had to give one, it’d be her (or mariska hargitay!! another pretty pretty lady). I love them <3 genuinely the first two women I remember seeing and being like…woah beautiful lady. and I already have the same hair and eye color so it wouldn’t be like…drastically not me

cinnamon (if you had to live in a time period different than the present, which would you choose and where?) - hmmmm not sure. not too far back because I want to have Rights, ya know? maybe gonna steal your answer @stabbyfoxandrew and say be an adult in 90s-00s. I do not want to live in my hometown bc it’s not at all progressive lmao. not sure where tho just maybe somewhere with a higher population but not a big city, idk. boring answer haha

fireside (if you had your dream wardrobe, what would it look like?) - sooo I have a bit of an all over the place preferred styles and also a few things I specifically want. a few of my favorite styles are dark academia, a lot of black and baggy clothes (kinda emo style stuff), and I fucking loveeee sweaters too. I live in a hot and humid state AND I overheat so easily so I cannot wear my preferred clothes that much of the year, and dark academia stuff would be too much money right now for not a lot of use.

specific pieces!! I am dying to buy a few more pairs of highs top platform converse. I love those so much. AND I want a pair of platform doc martens. I have a normal pair but I want Stompy Boot. i also want to not have the issue where i have a primary every day shoe because I’m an anime character apparently and almost exclusively wear one pair of shoes for ages, and only swaps during the new season outfit change. currently they are my red high top platform converse. (before these it was my timberlands lmao).

SORRY THIS GOT SO LONG I JUST HAVE TOO MANY THINGS TO SAY IN MY ANSWERS

[bones-arent-real]

Tagged by @cheetahleopard :D I love these kinds of things, thank you!

Bold all that applies to you: (and also comment in brackets bc i like to elaborate)

APPEARANCE: i’m over 5’5” // i wear glasses/contacts // i have blond hair // i prefer loose clothing to tight clothing // i have one or more piercings (i have tried to pierce my ear but i couldnt get the earring thru) // i have at least one tattoo // i have blue eyes // i have dyed or highlighted my hair (have before but it isnt dyed rn) // i have gotten plastic surgery (only top surgery) // i have or had braces // i sunburn easily // i have freckles (not so many rn bc its winter) // i paint my nails // i typically wear make-up // i don’t often smile // i am pleased with how i look // i prefer nike to adidas // i wear baseball hats backwards

HOBBIES AND TALENTS: i play a sport // i can play an instrument // i am artistic // i know more than one language // i have won a trophy in some sort of competition (i mean technically i got a participation trophy in primary school but that doesnt count) // i can cook or bake without a recipe // i know how to swim (im not fast but i prolly wont drown) // i enjoy writing // i can do origami// i prefer movies to tv shows (not a huge fan of either tbh) // i can execute a perfect somersault // i enjoy singing // i could survive in the wild on my own // i have read a new book series this year (several actually. love reading) // i enjoy spending time with friends (??? sometimes yes but also socialising is a lot of work) // i travel during school or work breaks (wish i had the money to travel more often) // i can do a handstand

RELATIONSHIP: i am in a relationship (is a qpr) // i have been single for over a year (?? idk define single. i dont date but also. qpr.) // i have a crush // i have a best friend i have known for ten years (literally the only ppl ive known over 10 years are my family) // my parents are together // i have dated my best friend (i was 14 and it was a very bad decision) // i am adopted // my crush has confessed to me // i have a long distance relationship // i am an only child // i give advice to my friends // i have made an online friend // i met up with someone i have met online

AESTHETICS: i have heard the ocean in a conch shell // i have watched the sun rise (i dont get up early but sometimes i stay up hella late) // i enjoy rainy days (i think i was meant to be a worm) // i have slept under the stars // i meditate outside // the sound of chirping calms me // i enjoy the smell of the beach // i know what snow tastes like // i listen to music to fall asleep (sometimes but not often) // i enjoy thunderstorms // i enjoy cloud watching // i have attended a bonfire (hehe fire) // i pay close attention to colours // i find mystery in the ocean (man who doesnt. ocean's massive)// i enjoy hiking on nature paths // autumn is my favourite season

MISCELLANEOUS: i can fall asleep in a moving vehicle (not easily but ive done it) // i am the mom friend ( i always have bandaids and snacks but i also advocate for all reckless decisions) // i live by a certain quote // i like the smell of sharpies // i am involved in extracurricular activities // i enjoy mexican food // i can drive a stick-shift (i cant even rly drive an automatic. i should not have a license) // i believe in true love // i make up scenarios to fall asleep // i sing in the shower (maybe if i lived alone) // i wish i lived in a video game // i have a canopy above my bed // i am multiracial // i am a redhead (why isnt this next to blond) // i own at least three dogs

I'm gonna tag @tea8j and also if u see this and want to do it feel free to pretend like I tagged u lol

[thegeminisage]

man theres so many CHESTS just laying around in the zora area

also it is AAALLWAYS raining girl let me CLIMB

these underwater/underground ruins are SO COOL i wish i'd seen these the first time i was here

YOOOOOOO MY FUCKING CLIMBING BOOTS. FOUND THEM!!!!!!!!!

shrine puzzle here where i gotta take the crystal and follow the beam. i am quite clearly supposed to build a raft, but there are materials for a bike. decided against this bc i love rafting in this game and also bc of the low ceiling, even though with the crystal as a counterweight the low ceiling ought to be no problem

actually, i should have done the bike. rafting is more fun when you're going with the current and not against it and also i'm dying to see how my new battery holds up <3

BIKE GOOD...i can't wait to get a chance to properly put it thru its paces

oh man i did a really long korok trip that with my old battery i wouldn't have been able to do!!!

there's a BED? up here at the reservoir. i slept in it expecting my bike to despawn but it was still there when i woke up

and a sidequest for helping this zora get stones for mipha's court...good i could use a break lol

NIIIICE zora fabric!!

god the music in mipha court still fucking kills me. it's crazy bc i didn't even LIKE mipha that much in the first game!! like ofc i cared about her, but she wasn't eating holes in my brain. but man...........

CLIMBERS BANDANAAAAAAAAAA AT FUCKING LAST

back in the ancoent zora waterworks for 1. zora greaves quest and 2. Frog. it's still really cool in here...

oh shit the water is gone!!! crazy..............

GOT MY GREAVES!!!

holy shit i just fused a weapon with 104 atk lol i can NEVER use this i have to save it for ganondorf. and a club with 72 atk wtf

well, i broke them immediately. i equipped one for a sneakstrike and i guess i forgot to unequip it so i must've broken them in this fight cuz they're both gone :(

uh...no...their attack got halved...? maybe i had some kind of effect going for me in the waterworks? water attack up or something? but i hadn't had any special food or armor...

OH i see! the zora swords i used for fusion have atk up when wet. it was raining and now it stopped lol. i almost panicked

:| i saved blood moon guy again and he said OH I KNEW YOU'D COME...like.........adn now he is like well i can do my research w/o fear. u always rescue me. buddy one day theyre gonna roast you over their little campfire before my ass gets here. then what. freak

oh damn he gave me a diamond??? ok fine ig

found another high/low tide cave. i like it better than the last one, probably bc this time i'm not trying to steer a shivery purse dog npc thru it on a raft

my rubber tights!!!!!!! FINALLY i can ride and farm farosh like she deserves. mwah

ANOTHER block puzzle i can't get...am i just stupid???

got my lightscale trident! unfortunately i am definitely gonna break it bc i do not have room for it in my house lol

lol sidon's wife says he talks about link constantly. "link is the best" "no task is insurmountable when i am with link" is he like. ok. like man are you happy are you like good? crackpot theory sidon like zelda canonically has a crush but it's up to us the decide if it's requited lol. i seriously tinfoil hat think he's gay. like is this all accidental writing sure but also. good lord

i am not against sidon getting hitched or whatever but this whole thing is so WEIRD...................

THE MAN HAS A STATUE OF THEM. LIKE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE whatever look it's fine. i'm normal. this is so normal. i think this is why i left in a hurry last time actually. weird vibes i get around here. i can't be doing this shit during pride month

happily this is all i have time for today. tomorrow i wanna try doing more story lol the right side of my map is so close to being clear but i need a break!!!

[nathank77]

10/28/24

6:54 p.m I added what i wanted to say to it..

6:35 p.m

My mom has been bringing the dog out with the gate closed and she got out of a hole in the fence.... and ran all over the neighborhood again. I didn't help. I didn't know about it until she got in. I've completely uninvolved myself with Riley for a reason.

As if things can't get worse she fucking got recontaminated with potential poison ivy. But then again i mean she prob gets exposed to it everyday in the yard.... who knows.

I feel fatigued. I felt this way around this time yesterday but I forced myself to play world at war. I mean bc I wanted to game. I figured it was the red bull... too much caffeine. But I didn't have too much today.

I have a slight headache on one side of my head. I'm wondering if the bird shit caused me to contract something... idk... no new meds or anything... and I've had a weird muscle spasm happen about once daily in my leg in the same spot near my junk. Part of me wonders if it's from the folic Acid? Or maybe it's from the bird shit? Or idk... I have no clue.

I'm retrying one of the statins soon BEFORE I try the injectable chlorestoral medication. I'm scared of it. It's only been on the market for like 8 years. I'm young and It makes me nervous. Sometimes long term use leads to long term side effects they didn't know about..... and I'm young.

To add to this, I started taking an asthma/allergy med when I was younger, cause my allergies were unbearable. I was sick constantly. I started a daily medication. And I find out 10 years later which made me promptly stop it that it had a black box warning of causing obsessive compulsive disorder.... so I had ocd symptoms in my teens.... but I actually believe that this med caused my ocd to go full swing bc of when I started to take it and when my symptoms became unbearable and ritualistic. Within a year of starting the med my allergies and asthma was great but I become full blown OCD CLINICALLY. When before I exhibited some symptoms but I could function. Maybe it would have happened regardless.. I'll never know.... but I think it had something to do with it........ I started it around 21 or so.... by 23 I was full blown clinically ocd.

Anyways that's why I don't want to do the injectable chlorestoral medication.... who knows what will surface over the years as people take it since it's new to the market.

I hope the statin doesn't cause muscle twitching or spasms..... I mean cause my chlorestoral really is bad. It's very bad. I'm not exaggerating. I wish I was. But it's bad enough that I got to try something. I haven't started it yet... I'm going to soon. It's not the same one that caused all the twitching... I took this one for 4 days had one muscle spasms and never touched it again. I mean and that day was a red bull day where I had drank 2 red bulls. I'm trying to be positive about it.... maybe if I lecture my body i won't get spasms... cause I mean I don't see myself living long if I don't treat it... but I'm truly scared of the injectable stuff..

If I have to do that injection... it gives me more time to try to set up my first dose with my PCP so I can be taught how to do it. I want to do it with a dr the first time and I want to watch how to do it in every spot so I feel safe at least with that part of it. Although I may not be willing to take it. Idk...........

I love myself but no one else loves me. I've decided I'm going to pursue looking for a full hysterectomy.... I mean get it all removed. Especially the ovaries since they produce estrogen... I'm scared but if I can't get my testosterone bc I'm hospitalized and brain dead or something if I wake up I want to still see Nathan....... otherwise I'll check out and commit suicide immediately.

Although I'm considering just dying young by choice while I still have some form of a quality of life. I can walk. I can eat. I can shower. I can drive.

Maybe i should take off with my monthly check and get a hotel or an Airbnb prob an Airbnb and then i can stay there for a few days. Live it up however I want and then commit suicide there in a remote place where no one will hear me if I scream or something. A hotel won't work. My house won't work. Idk if I'll scream or make noises. I don't want to be saved if I decide to go through with it.

I mean I know people don't get it but i know how it feels to be worthless to everyone you're supposed to matter to. Okay so Elise, I'm not supposed to matter to her. I want to matter to her.... she's not included in this speel...

I'm supposed to matter to my mom. I'm supposed to matter to my sister. I'm supposed to matter to my father. I'm supposed to matter to my family. I don't. I don't matter to anyone. I have no prospects for dating and I've tried okay? I'm really trying. Like really super trying. One of these days I'm going to prime house... but I've been trying on dating apps..... but even if I got a girl to think I'm cute what am I supposed to tell her I do? I game and watch tv? I mean I can say i take care of my mother... but I mean I don't make money. It matters in dating.

I don't see the point. I think my remote cabin for a week and a quiet peaceful death actually sounds fair. I'll die young even if I keep fighting. I know it..

My heart is in bad condition. Besides for the calcification of one valve... I don't get enough blood flow in my whole heart from all valves... which we are trying to figure out why.....

I mean something is going to kill me and probably before 40. And I mean I've gotten to a point with my hallucination where some silence exists. Only some. I could give myself a nice little vacation and melt away into a happy death without anyone stopping me. And tbh it may be the best recourse for me.

How am I supposed to get a hysterectomy without telling my family? I have to recover at home. No one is going to help me. I want both ovaries OUT immediately. Idc about the rest of it other than for cancer risk.... but I want my ovaries out bc of estrogen production..... but yea. It's all too scary.

And I'm really fucking alone. No one cares about me. My dad and Lori have been renovating the house... they are broke and can't finish it. It's been a over a year... my dad isn't working... and I can't stay there. They actually don't have a room for me...

I actually have no where to go. And I mean I could live it up for a week in an Airbnb and just jacuzzi and swim and then off myself the last night of my stay. It sounds rather peaceful than dealing with all of this.

[dulcewrites]

new chap of fcc… love u babe. DID WATCH THE NEW HOTD EP??? keep us updated on ur thoughts!!

Love you more 😘 glad you liked it!

Ok don’t hate me but I didn’t. I don’t have work on Wednesday so I may watch it then. But tbh I was tempted to do what I did last season and sort of catch up after the fact. I didn’t start watching s1 in real time till ep 8 (I binged the other eps the Friday and Saturday before). It actually helped me formulate my thoughts better. If that makes sense. Idk this fandom can be… a lot/overly negative for the sake of argument and it can be hard to enjoy it while airing. I don’t want to be fighting for my life as an Alicent girlie and an overall team green enjoyer lmao.

That being said I have seen a couple of clips and knows the basic beats simply by just being around so I will say:

- glad they gave Aegon Helaena and their family some development pre b&c. Can’t speak on actual b&c bc I haven’t seen it. Wish we got more of them as a unit in s1

- I think Emma and their acting skills does most of the work bc I don’t care about lucerys dying (sorry not sorry) but interested to see where grief takes Rhaenyra. How is she going to react to b&c.

- daemon is a loser wbk

- loving the dynamic they are setting up with Aemond. Not only him lean to the death being on purpose but also pointing out the honest hypocrisy of him ‘being the reason the war started’… while they already put Aegon on the throne 😭. Like yeah Luke dying def accelerated things. But at the end of the day, it all broke the moment Aegon got a crown on his head. Naturally Aemond would feel some type of way about a parent choosing Rhaenyra over him (in his mind)… again. And this time it’s the parent that defended him. That has to suck

- I guess the thing (outside of b&c) that people have the most things to say about is Alicent and Criston. Soooo I have mixed feelings on this. On one hand, I’m of the belief that BOTH rhaenicent and alicole are better left in the margines… aka things left unsaid and unconsumated. I like the will they or won’t they of both. That means I wasn’t like jumping up and down knowing they hooked up, especially since we apparently don’t see how?? I could be wrong about that but that’s what i am assuming not watching. I think I’d appreciate it more seeing the first time or how these ultra repressed people got to having casual sex. But I will say even as someone who enjoys rhaenicent, that I like the idea of Alicent figuring her sexuality out for herself. Even if she realizes it’s not for her or hates herself afterward, she deserves a chance to try it out. I’m not of the belief that Criston is just gonna turn on her one day.

Also I feel more inclined to defend it simply bc this fandom is weird and now people are taking their distain for alicole out on Fabien. What we aren’t gonna do is demonize a man of color for some ship. It is to the point where people want to make it seem like Liv doesn’t like him which we know is just not true. It is also extra icky when it comes from white people bc why are you calling Criston a dog…. While actively stanning white character who behave the same or worse way. It gives the same vibes as the misogynist who love the male characters of the show but hate the women. Like bffr

This in general brings up a larger point for me that I haven’t really known how to put into words. I feel like a group of people - mainly rhaenicents (and once again I say this as someone who thinks that relationship is one of the most if not the most interesting in the whole show) - who act as if Alicent needs to hate everyone BUT Rhaenyra. Like she must hate her children, her father, and Criston but god forbid you bring up any resentment she may have towards Rhaenyra. Alicent is allowed to be sad about her childhood being taken and love her kids. She’s allowed to resent the position her father put her in and seek his council. She is allowed to know what Criston is capable of and understand he has been there for her for more than a decade. Just like she can move to put her son on the throne and miss what she had with Rhaenyra. Alicent is very complex and that should be seen through all her relationship.

One gripe I will say about alicole is like… what is the payoff. It is to make his eventual death hurt more? Is it more division amongst the greens? Is it for the guilt of it all?