#bc I do not want him to be hesitant to prescribe

[arlo-venn]

New boot goofin 👢

Podiatrist says I do not need surgery on the foot! Thank heck, really don’t think I could handle two back to back surgeries. He says 6-8 weeks healing time, which for me probably means more like 12-16 weeks since healing time is almost always double what’s projected for me.

He sent 20 more Percocet and Toradol, too, thank god. That’ll at least last me until I meet my new primary doctor. I feel like I’m going to need a third refill after the 20 so hopefully new doctor is cool with that.

[from-the-clouds]

texas sun - joel miller x f!reader - vol. xiv

series masterlist | series playlist | writing masterlist | previous chapter | chapter summary: The final chapter pairing: joel miller x f!reader words: 9.2k (I love being insane) chapter warnings: SMUT (18+only) - unprotected sex. Insecurity/Jealousy. Angst/arguments. Discussions of death, blood and injuries. Alcohol & Marijuana use. Fluff. Bisexual reader (happy pride ya'll!). As always please dm for more specifics. a/n: This could probs use another round of proofreading but it would've delayed this even longer sooooo.... Here we go! I feel pretty emo right now and I might make a more in-depth post about my thoughts at a later date bc I just finished writing this in a hot daze so I can't put all my thoughts coherently together. But I just wanna say thank you to everyone who supported and gave love to this story. This is by far the most popular fic I've ever written, and I don't really know how? Or what I did to deserve all the love but I just want you to know how much I appreciate it. Thank you for sticking with me through all the angst and delayed updates and everything. I'll never forget you and I'll never forget Joel x Reader!! Thank you so much, I hope the finale lives up to your expectations! ❤️

**I DO NOT HAVE A TAGLIST. Please follow @ftcwriting and turn on notifs if you would like to be notified when I update my works :) **

I’m not the kind of man who tends to socialize I seem to lean on old familiar ways….

-May 16, 2024-

“Are you sure you’re okay if I leave you here alone?” 

Ethan’s voice jolts you out of a daze, and you blink your eyes open, realizing that you’d dozed off while sitting upright in a patio chair, the cheesy romance novel you’d been reading still lying open on your lap. Turning to look over your shoulder, you find him standing with one foot on the deck, and one foot still inside, cut in half by the sliding glass door.

Clearing your throat, you straighten up and nod. “Of course. I’ll be fine.”

Ethan studies you carefully, like he’s not entirely convinced. He’s been hesitant to leave you alone unless it’s absolutely necessary – only stepping away from the house to go on patrol shifts and to bring home meals from the mess hall. Recovery has made you feel like a burden to him – to all your friends in the community, really. Everyone….well, almost everyone, has been supportive, but you’ve never been comfortable being openly vulnerable.

Unfortunately, it’s too hard to deny the pain that you’ve been in since the accident, the trouble you have getting around, the exhaustion that clings no matter how many long naps and twelve-hour nights of sleep you get. According to the doctors, being so tired is just part of recovery – rest is important, but the concoction of pain medication you’ve been prescribed only makes your drowsiness and confusion worse. It had been a big deal that tonight you’d mustered the energy to drag yourself outside to sit in the fresh air. 

“I’m fine,” you assure Ethan, once again. “Have fun on your date.”

“It’s not really a date,” he says, almost a little too quickly. “We’re just hanging out.”

“Right,” you say, matter-of-factly. “Do I know who this person is?”

Ethan looks at his feet. “You remember the day this shit happened?” he asks, gesturing towards you. “Before you left on patrol, the girl that said hi to me? It’s her. Her name is Alex.”

“Oh?” you tilt your head, give him a small smile. “She was cute. How’d you ask her out?”

“Well,” he begins, scratching the back of his neck. “I may have…uh, gotten some advice.”

“You didn’t think to ask me?” you’re able to muster up a small smile.

“I would’ve, I just…..” he shakes his head. “It seemed stupid…with everything you have going on.”

“It’s not stupid,” you say, feeling a wave of guilt. Even though he’s the one looking after you, you haven’t spoken to him much about anything going on in his life. In fact, you haven’t really spoken to anyone in a long time, beyond thank you’s and blanket statements like I’m doing better. You feel disconnected, and more lonely than ever. If you ever get enough energy to leave your house, you expect most of the people in the community to have forgotten you exist. “Who’d you ask?”

“Uhm….” Ethan runs a hand through his long dark hair, shifts his weight. “….I’ve been assigned on patrol with Joel Miller a lot lately….so….”

You almost laugh when he uses Joel’s full name. Joel has been such a huge part of your life – sometimes the hero, sometimes the villain – that you don’t need to hear his last name to know who Ethan’s talking about. You could know a thousand Joel’s, and he’d still be the first person that came to mind. But Joel is still a sore subject, and Ethan knows it, which is why you suspect he’s avoided telling you this in the first place. You feel your eyebrows knit together, only able to let out an unenthused. “Oh.”

“I just, you know….he’s a guy. And it sounds like you even liked him at one point so….he must know something, right?” 

“That was a long time ago,” you say quickly, regardless of the fact that he’s right.

It’s probably not fair to blame Joel for everything that has happened to you. You know this, deep down. But you’ve been so helpless and isolated since you’ve woken up in that hospital bed that you’re desperate to find someone to hold accountable. And Joel hadn’t visited you in the hospital once. By this point, he’s abandoned you so many times that your resentment feels justified, even if your current state is not directly his fault. Because it was you, after all, who had walked into the path of those men, too angry to think clearly, too weak to take them down alone. The only person you can blame is yourself, and you really don’t want to.

“Did he tell you to take her out on patrol, make her cry, and almost get her killed?”

Ethan clicks his tongue, looks down, almost ashamed. “No. He did not.”

“You should be careful with Joel,” you warn.

“I was…” Ethan says. “But I don’t think it’s that simple. I think he’s actually alright.” 

“So you’re friends with him now,” you state, hoping he refutes. But instead, he looks up at you, frowns, and lifts his chin.

“What happened to you was horrible. It shouldn’t have happened. And yeah, maybe you think he’s the reason you almost died…. I don’t know the specifics so you can believe whatever you want. But I know that he’s the reason you’re still alive.” Ethan’s voice breaks, and you feel tears brimming your eyes before he continues. “He brought you back here, he donated his blood, he-”

“What?” you cut him off.

“What do you mean, what?” Ethan asks. “He was the only person there who had your blood type. You would’ve died if he didn’t. They didn’t tell you this?” 

“Whatever it took to make him feel less guilty, sounds like,” you say, dismissively.

Something hot burns in your veins, something that must have always been there since you woke up, but you’re only feeling it now. It’s unsettling, Joel being a part of you that way. Your lives had already seemed intertwined enough already. But now, he’s inescapable.

“Well, he stayed by your side every night while you were asleep. Fuck, I mean, he was probably there just as often as I was. He made sure I ate, and slept and showered and… and he never once asked for anything in return. He cares about you as much as I do, clearly, so I don’t think it’s wrong to think he’s a good guy….”

You must not care about me that much, you want to say, but you stop yourself. Because it’s not true, and you’d only be saying it to hurt him. You have nothing to defend yourself with, no way to convince him otherwise, and so you just stare at him until he shakes his head and slips back inside.

Ethan is stubborn, he always has been. And it’s a special kind of stubbornness, fueled by anger – so common in most of the young people you meet these days. You understand why they’re all like this. When you’re robbed of your childhood – you get stuck there….waiting….. Like someday you’ll have a chance to do it all over again, regardless of how obvious it is that you won’t. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-May 25, 2024-

Things get better, albeit slowly. You begin to wean off the pain medication, which makes you more alert. It’s still difficult to leave your house, but you can move around it more easily, and you don’t spend all your days sleeping. Luckily, you aren’t as stir-crazy as you’d been expecting. 

One afternoon, Ellie Williams shows up on your doorstep with a bag full of groceries. 

“Maria wanted me to bring these to you,” she says when you open the door. “She told me to tell you she’ll be over tomorrow, but she wanted me to give you these to tide you over.”

“That’s very nice. Thank you for bringing them to me,” you try to take the bag from her hands, but she steps back just a little, like she’s unsure if you should be carrying anything. You let your hands drop to your sides. “Would you like to come in?” 

Ellie hesitates for a split second, adjusting the bag in her arms, and then nods. “Sure.” 

Stepping to the side, you allow her into the home. Because of how warm it is outside, you’ve opened all the windows to let the breeze through. 

“Sorry for the mess,” you say, Ellie following you into the living room. There are stacks of books and pill bottles with instructions scattered on your countertop. You haven’t swept the floors in awhile and all the hard surfaces are covered in a thin layer of dust. It’s not really that bad, but you don’t have the energy or strength to be on your feet for long – let alone to clean the house. 

“I don’t mind,” Ellie says. “It’s not even that bad. I don’t know why older people worry about leaving your house messy and shit….no offense.”

“There was a time it used to matter,” you tell her. “And I see where you’re coming from, but my thing is – if you’re going to live somewhere, you should do what you can to make yourself feel comfortable.” 

Ellie purses her lips, as if you’ve made a good point but she doesn’t know how to answer. Instead, you continue. “Can I get you anything? Water?” 

“No, I’m okay,” she puts the bag on your kitchen counter.

“You can sit if you’d like,” you tell her. “I just need a moment to put these away.”

When you walk into your living room a few minutes later, she’s hovering near your record player, looking through the vinyls. The turntable was already in the house when you’d arrived years ago, but it was buried in the closet and broken. Ethan had managed to fix it after a little troubleshooting and scavenging for parts. Now, you both were always looking for records to bring home, and had amassed quite the eclectic collection – jazz, funk, hip-hop, and everything in between. 

“Wow,” Ellie says, running her fingers along the shelved records. “You found all these?”

“Some of them were already here. But yeah. Ethan and I are always on the lookout on patrol. I can play you something. What do you like?”

“Eighties, I think,” she says. “But…I also haven’t heard as much.” 

“Well here,” you thumb through the records, pull out a worn copy of Speaking In Tongues. “How about some Talking Heads?” 

You pass the record over to her, and she stares at you blankly. It’s only then that you realize — she’s never used a record player before. There’s a familiar pang of sadness before you show her how. 

“Are you feeling better?” Ellie eyes you wearily once the music starts, and you settle onto the couch, feeling a little worn out after being on your feet.

“Yes,” you say. “I’m older now, so it seems like healing takes a lot more time.”

Ellie nods, then bobs her head to the music a little. “This is better than most of the stuff Joel likes.” 

“Oh yeah,” you smirk, and instinctually, you recall his enthusiasm for all things old-school country. “I remember that,” you say softly.

With so much time on your hands lately, you’ve found yourself thinking of Joel a lot, reminiscing on the time you’d spent with him and Sarah. What Ethan had told you about him staying by your side was definitely making you reconsider your assessment of him, even if you were still hesitant. It was probably a trap to think you’d ever be able to feel those things with him again, but if remembering them brought you comfort, you weren’t going to resist it. 

“You’re more than welcome to come over to listen anytime,” you offer, and she nods excitedly. 

Ellie stays for longer than you expect. You talk a fair bit. She tells you about what she’s learning in school – but mostly how ‘fucking useless’ it is. She wanders around your living room and pokes through your stuff without asking, but you don’t think to stop her – you just answer her questions and let her be curious.

Eventually, the sun dips below the horizon, and she excuses herself to go home, insisting that Joel will ‘fucking kill her’ if she’s out too late. Even though you’re exhausted after entertaining her for a few hours, you find it feels nice. Being on house arrest, essentially, had left your starved for connection outside Maria and Ethan.

You see her out the door before returning to your refrigerator to look for something to eat. Ethan will be back from patrol any minute, so it may be nice to make him something even if you have almost no energy.

But when there’s another knock on your front door, you’re shocked to see who you find staring on your porch. 

Joel.

You almost forget to speak at the sight of him. It’s been weeks since your accident and he might as well have moved away from Jackson since you hadn’t seen him at all. 

“Hey,” you say, tentatively, taking him in. He seems preoccupied – cheeks flushed, hair rumpled, and out of breath, like he had run all the way to get here.

“Have you seen Ellie?” he asks, not even greeting you in return. “I’ve looked everywhere and I-

“You just missed her,” you cut him off, not because you’re trying to dismiss him, but because he's clearly distressed. “I’m surprised you didn’t see her on your way over.”

Joel sighs, eyes closing in relief. “Thank God.” For a second, you glimpse the frazzled and overworked father you used to know. “She stayed out too late, had me worried sick.” 

“She’s fine,” you say. “Although she did say you might kill her if she didn’t get home soon.” 

Joel gives you an almost imperceptible smile, but seems mostly irritated by Ellie’s suggestion. “I would do no such thing.” He shakes his head and takes two steps backwards. “Thank you. Didn’t mean to be a bother.” 

Your mind floats to a memory of Joel on your front porch, late getting home from work and looking for Sarah, and you can’t help but feel a bit of sadness and longing for a simpler time, a surge of affection. 

Joel is halfway down your front porch steps when you speak again. “You aren’t bothering me.”

He pauses, turns to look over his shoulder. There’s something he wants to say, you can feel it, and you step outside, letting the door fall shut behind you and remaining huddled against the siding, and he turns to face you fully, sighing. “I’ve been meaning to stop by, actually….” 

“Oh…really?” you can’t keep the surprise from your voice, and he notices.

“Yeah,” Joel rubs his fingers together, a nervous habit of his you know all too well. “Yeah. I- well, I wanted to apologize to you.”

You’re so startled by the words you can’t answer right away. But the split second of hesitation causes Joel to continue, looking to fill the empty space. 

“I’ve been waiting to find the right thing to say….but it doesn’t seem like that’ll ever happen. I’m not even sure I know where to start.” 

“Oh,” is all you can manage, still taken aback. The only thing that doesn’t surprise you about his admission is the sincerity. You could say a lot of things about Joel, but he isn’t a liar. He always tells the truth. Maybe it’s why he pulled away from you to begin with. It’s easier than the alternative – spending time with you, which would force him to be honest. For how much you’ve changed, you’d probably do the same. 

But the thing with Joel is that you’re exhausted. You’re tired of the back and forth, of the push and pull, of the constant struggle to hold your care over each other's head, hoping the other will break first. Maybe this is a fresh start. 

You step closer to him, and you see him study the way you move. Of course, you’re trying to look strong, but he can surely sense the weakness. He’d always been good at that, better than any of the others. Your hand comes to rest on the porch railing for support. 

But…..

There’s that voice in the back of your head, the one that tells you this is a mistake. The one that reminds of the pain you’ve often earned through vulnerability. It likes to think it’s served you, protected you, and it has. But it’s not always right.

“I suppose I owe you an apology, too,” you say. “At the very least I should thank you for what you did.”

Joel shakes his head, dismissively, but looks to where your hand rests on the porch railing, looks back up to you as he reaches out. “I’m just glad you’re okay.” 

His hand clasps over yours, and to anyone else, this might be nothing. It’s so innocent, unassuming. But the effect it has on you is palpable. He squeezes once, and you flip your hand over, squeezing his back, giving him a gentle smile. “I am too.” 

Joel’s eyes fill with a warmth you haven’t seen in twenty years, and your stomach flutters, your heart races. A part of yourself that you’d considered long dead seems to rouse.“Would you like to stay for dinner?”

“I told Ellie we’d go to the mess hall together,” Joel says. “Otherwise I would.”

You blink once, and Joel sees it, immediately continuing on. “But maybe Ellie and I can come another time, join you and Ethan?”

“Yeah. He’d like that,” you say. “That might be nice.” ─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-June 20, 2024-

You think that at the end of a long winter, bears must hate coming out of hibernation. 

It must suck. They spend months sleeping, doing almost nothing, and then suddenly they’re forced to function again – to hunt, to eat, to roam, to survive and socialize. You imagine there has to be a learning curve, a desire to crawl back into their den and never leave again. 

Or maybe you could be wrong, and they love it. And you’re just a wimp who hates feeling uncomfortable.

All you know is that you’re huddled in the back corner of the Tipsy Bison, nursing a whiskey – and it’s the last place you want to be. 

You’re overwhelmed. 

And despite the fact that you regularly used to attend community events, it’s been so long since you've been out in Jackson that you feel like you don’t belong. To some extent, you’ve always felt this – too hardened by the outside world to fully assimilate, especially when the town throws dances. But in the past, you at least attempted to convince yourself otherwise. 

Two weeks back, the doctors had cleared you to go about your daily activities as normal  – within reason, of course – but you hadn’t exactly jumped at the opportunity. Tonight, Ethan had accused you of becoming ‘antisocial’ and ‘reclusive’. You had agreed to attend – but only to beat those allegations. So far, you are definitely not. 

You scan the crowd, taking in the people spinning around the dance floor. Some of the women are wearing dresses. You can’t help but feel a little envious of how easily they’re able to perform femininity, which is something you’d given up on a while ago. It hadn’t exactly served you before arriving in Jackson, and you predict it would be humiliating to start trying now. After all the things you’d experienced, you were left marred with scars and wrinkles, stretch marks and loose skin. Since then, you’ve remained loyal to the combination of men’s denim and tank tops with flannel-button downs overtop. 

It doesn’t always stop the men in the community from descending like vultures. You might be the last pick – there are plenty others who are younger and prettier – but you’re still an option. Bea, your old partner, had always theorized that some men were particularly drawn to sapphic women, that it was ‘the ultimate challenge’. Maybe there is some truth to her theory, but you like men….sometimes. So there is always a part of you that yearns for their validation, for as many times as you tell yourself you don’t want it. But it never feels good to get it after you’ve watched them exhaust all their other options.

It’s pathetic, but it makes you think of Joel. He and Ellie had been over to yours and Ethans last week for a nice dinner, and you had tried to gauge whether there was any romantic connection between you still. Occasionally, you’d caught him looking at you with a wistful smile, but he could have been lost in thought. It’s not like you needed that from him or anything, but it might be useful information. After all this time, Joel is still so handsome, and probably has an impressive selection of potential partners here in Jackson – women of all ages. You hope he’s not here tonight – you can’t see much besides the dance floor at this point – because the thought of him cozied up to anyone here, combined with the acrid taste of the drink in your hand, makes you want to gag. 

You take another look around the room. Eugene, your partner in crime – quite literally – is walking towards you, which helps quell your spiraling mind . If you talk to him, say hello to Tommy and Maria, maybe Ethan will see the effort you’re making and you can sneak out without having to deal with anyone. It’s wishful thinking, but it’s worth a shot. The sooner you can get home tonight, the better.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel can’t stop staring. 

He knows it’s impolite. He knows that he’s not being subtle. He knows that if any other person in this bar followed his eyeline, they’d pick up on what he was doing in an instant. But every minute he doesn’t get called out for it, he becomes more and more emboldened. 

It’s the first dance he’s ever been to in Jackson, and the only reason he’s here is to placate Ellie and Tommy. But even they have abandoned him in favor of better companions – his brother is deep in conversation with Maria, sitting across from him in a booth, and Ellie is out on the dance floor dancing with one of her new friends, Dina.

Joel just can’t help himself. He still feels guilty for what he’s done, but he can’t shake the feeling of a soft hand clasped within his own – the first time he’d felt any semblance of hope since arriving here. Tommy and Maria had already slyly let him know about all the women who were interested, but he couldn’t bring himself to entertain their advances. There’s only one he wants, and she won’t even look in his direction.

When he’d first noticed you, you were whispering with Eugene on the opposite side of the dance floor. According to Tommy, you spend a fair bit of your time with the old man, which Joel initially thought to mean that you had some sort of entanglement. At first, Joel thought that couldn’t be possible. But you were deep in focus as you listened to Eugene’s words, nodding and leaning in closer and closer, and Joel thinks Tommy might be right. He wants to understand what you see in this man – tall and unkempt, covered in tattoos with long, graying hair and a beard to match. But Joel catches himself in his judgment, he’s probably just as unappealing – not just because of how he’s aged, but because of how horrible he’s been to you in general. 

The next time Joel sees you, you’re at the bar, chatting with a man who Maria had introduced him to not long ago, a resident who is new in town. Joel had been too busy focusing on the fact that he’d been in Jackson long enough to not be its newest resident that he couldn’t remember his name. He wishes he had, so he could keep tabs on him. Of course, he can’t blame the man for being drawn to you – Joel knows very well that you’re hard to miss in a crowd. 

Still, Joel bristles when you both step away from the bar, and the man’s hand lands just above your sacrum. He actually finds himself tensing up, resisting the urge to intervene, because it’d likely only make you angry. Plus, maybe you are interested. That question is answered quickly when you reach behind your to clasp the man's hand and place it back at his side. Where it belongs, he thinks.

“Joel!”

He snaps his attention to what’s in front of him – interrupted, and probably for good measure, lest he get himself too worked up. Ethan approaches with a girl his age, her arm linked through his. Joel stands to greet them. 

The terse understanding between himself and Ethan while you were still in the hospital had somehow turned into a friendship, especially after they’d begun getting paired up on patrol. Ethan reaches out for Joel’s hand to dap him up, slinging an arm briefly over his shoulder.

“How’s it going, kid?” 

“Good, good,” Ethan nods, pulling back, and gestures to the girl next to him. “Joel, this is Alex.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” she says. “Ethan’s told me all about you.” 

“Really?” Joel asks, feeling a little bewildered. 

“Only good things,” Alex says quickly, as if she senses his apprehension. Ethan puts his arm around her waist. Joel recalls a few weeks back when he’d asked for advice on how to ask out a girl. Joel hadn’t pried at the time, but now he seems to understand, and is surprised by the swell of pride he feels. “Ethan says you’re a fucking badass,”she giggles after she swears.

Joel looks over at Ethan. “I don’t know about that.” 

He shrugs, changes the subject. “Since when do you come to these things?” Ethan asks.

“Ellie dragged me out,” Joel answers.

“I did the same with my aunt,” Ethan chuckles. “But now I can’t find her, and I’m pretty sure she’s escaped.”

“Oh, is she here?” Joel plays dumb, like he hasn’t been aware of exactly where you have been all night. “I haven’t seen her.”

“I think she was with Eugene earlier,” Alex has to stand on her toes to speak into Ethan’s ear. Joel watches Ethan’s nose wrinkle. 

“Do you know Eugene at all?” Ethan turns to Joel. “I’m trying to figure out what’s going on there, but she won’t say anything.” 

Joel wishes that he had more information. “Tommy says they seem close.”

“I know that,” Ethan says. “I wish she would just be honest with me. It’s not like I would be mad. Whatever,” he shakes his head. “We can talk about it another time. I just want to find her so I can introduce her to Alex.”

“We should say hi to Tommy and Maria first,” Alex says, and Ethan nods in agreement before saying goodbye to him. Joel claps a hand on Ethan’s shoulder as he moves past him, and Alex gives him a shy smile in acknowledgement. 

Focusing back on the crowd, Joel realizes that you’ve vanished in the short span of his last interaction. Maybe you’d rejected that guy, and then he’d retaliated. Maybe you’d gone home with Eugene. Joel shakes his hand. It’s none of his business. He doesn’t need to get involved. It’s not his job to look after you, regardless of how much better he feels when he does. Old instincts. He can’t help himself.

He settles on watching Ellie and Dina spin each other around on the dance floor. Eventually, Tommy and Maria, then Ethan and Alex all trickle out of the booth to go get another round or head to dance. Joel stands to release the booth to someone who actually needs it – and is left in the corner, nursing a nearly empty beer that’s now flat and warm. He looks towards his family and friends, but for some reason, he still feels alone. 

Joel isn’t sure how long he stands sulking, but he starts when someone approaches from behind.

“Having fun?”

You’re a pace or two back, one thumb hooked through a belt loop, a whiskey in your opposite hand. Joel looks back at the crowd a moment, then at the ground. “No.” 

“Neither am I,” you commiserate, stepping alongside him. 

Joel considers offering that Ethan was looking for you, but selfishly does not want to give you a reason to leave, so he stays quiet. You observe the dance floor like he is, smiling slightly at the sight of Ethan and Alex dancing. The flannel you’re wearing over a gray tank hangs loosely off one shoulder, and Joel wants to reach out and touch the exposed skin. You take your last sip of whiskey, bring a finger to swipe under your bottom lip, and Joel wishes he knew what you might taste like right now. He scolds himself for fantasizing.

You don’t speak either, and you stand in silence for a while, until you eventually pop your hip, shifting closer to him. Maybe you don’t realize it, but you’re already standing so close that your arm gets pressed up against his. Neither of you acknowledge the contact, but Joel is acutely aware of how your skin burns hot against his own. He feels comforted by the affection, even if it’s unintentional.

“Want to leave?” Joel asks, and can hardly believe that the words came out of his mouth, even if he wanted them to. 

You look over at him, not bothering to hide your surprise, but your expression evens out quickly, and you give him a single nod. “Yeah.” 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Joel’s still not convinced this is real. It feels too much like a dream, the weather outside is so pleasantly warm it feels like he’s floating as you walk down the street. He had never expected you to agree to leave with him, and now he doesn’t know what to do, or what to say.

The greater distance you put between yourselves and the bar, the quieter the town is. Most of Jackson’s residents are at the dance, save for the guards at the front gate and the handful of people that had been mingling just outside.

He heads in the general direction of the neighborhood, even though he lives on a different street. 

“What are we supposed to do now?” you wonder out loud, and you sound a little incredulous, like you’re equally as shocked to find yourself beside him. The question carries a bit more weight than it would have coming from anyone else.

Joel contemplates. He’s not sure what he wants from you – there are a lot of things, actually – but he doesn’t know if he really deserves any of them. For now, your companionship is more than enough.

“You’re welcome to come back to mine,” he offers.  “But if you’re looking to keep drinking, all the booze is back at the bar.”

“I’m good.” You shake your head like you’re uninterested, but look over at him with a sparkle in your eye. “I have something better….” 

You reach into the pocket of your flannel and produce a rolled joint between two fingers, looking over your shoulder. “Those dances are usually terrible, so I always come prepared.” 

Joel can’t help the chuckle that escapes him, and the sheepish grin he gets in return makes his cheeks feel warm. “Where’d you even get that?”

“You’ve never been on patrol with Eugene, have you?” you ask. “He has a place just out of town where he grows it. I’ve been helping him since we first got paired up, and in exchange, I get to sample the supply.”  

Of course. Joel would’ve never imagined that was the reason you were so close with Eugene, but it suddenly makes incredible sense. He shakes his head in a combination of relief and amusement. “You really haven’t changed.” 

“Oh, I’m sure I have,” you answer, smiling to yourself and looking at the ground. “But of course I haven’t shaken all my bad habits.”

“That’s not true,” Joel mutters.

“Well, you haven’t changed either, for as much as you’ve tried to convince me,” you nudge him gently, offering him the joint. “What do you think?” 

Joel plucks it from between your fingers and puts it between his lips. “I think I have a lighter at home.”

“Sounds perfect.” 

In the front hallway of his house, you slip out of your tennis shoes, shuffling behind him in your socks, pausing occasionally to study some of the doodles that Ellie had drawn and hung on the walls – it wasn’t exactly a priority to decorate these days, but they certainly livened up the place. He knows how much Ellie likes you, despite the fact that she doesn’t gush, but the odd comment here and there says as much. Joel remembers how difficult it had been to keep Sarah away, and Ellie now is no different. He doesn’t seem to be able to help himself, either. 

You sit next to Joel on his wicker couch, curling your feet up under you as he lights the joint and study him while he takes the first few puffs. He does it without thinking. That’s how soft Jackson has made him. Normally, he’d be too stressed about being out of his wits. But he can’t see how hypervigilance has served him since settling down. He feels safe here, and somehow especially because he’s with you. 

When he passes the joint your way, you look at him wistfully. “Old times,” you say with a grin. 

Joel nods as he exhales, coughing. “Old times.” 

“Oh yeah,” you say, as if you just remembered something. “You can’t tell Ethan about this. He doesn’t know, and he will give me shit about it. I need him to take me seriously.” 

Joel shakes his head. “Well, you know, it sounds like he and Tommy both think you and Eugene are together.”

“What?” your head jerks forward in shock, eyes going wide. “Oh my god, no. Do people think that?”

“I’m just sayin’,” Joel wants to mention how he had seen you whispering to each other at the bar earlier, but then realizes it’d give a bit too much away. “That’s what they think.”

“Well....historically speaking I might’ve liked older men…. but not that old.”

Joel purses his lips. “You’ve lived here awhile, huh?” When you nod, he continues. “Has no one caught your eye?” 

“Uhm….not really. But….” you trail off, looking into Joel’s backyard. “To be completely honest, I  don't think about that much these days. I guess I feel like I have a lot to be grateful for. I don’t want to push it.”

Joel understands, and nods pensively.

“What about you?” you ask. 

“I guess I feel the same.”

That causes you to smile a little bit, look over at him. “I bet you already know this. But the women here would line up down the block for you.”

Joel can’t help but roll his eyes, though he wonders if you would, too. Even if you did like him, that didn’t seem like your style. 

“I’m serious. I’ve heard the things they whisper behind your back. All their fantasies about you are pretty creative...”

“Fantasies?” He grimaces. He imagines none of them know anything about who he really is. You’re the closest thing, and all he’s done is hurt you. “I’m sure you were quick to set them straight.” 

“I don’t say anything,” you say, then continue on, a little quieter, looking at him from under your lashes. “I like to keep you to myself.” 

Joel isn’t sure how to respond to that. You have every right to tell all of them that you were once together, and all the ways he’s hurt you since. Yet for some reason, you’ve chosen to protect him. 

“So….all this time….” you wonder. “You had to have been with other people, right?”

Joel doesn’t think to hold back. “I had a partner for a long time. Tess. First, it was all business, I helped her smuggle things in and out of the Boston QZ…and then, I don’t know….we got along, we trusted each other and…” Joel trails off, hoping you’d put together the rest before he has to go into too much detail. “She was real fuckin’ tough. Scared me a little at first. You would’ve liked her.”

“Well, we already have one thing in common. What happened?”

“She’s the whole reason I ended up out here….with Ellie,” Joel explains. “But I lost her a little over a year ago.”

He hopes you don’t ask how. Maybe someday he’d be willing to go into detail, but talking about it generally is hard enough as it is. But fortunately, you seem to pick up on his hesitance. “I’m sorry, Joel,” you say softly.

He shakes his head. “I was an asshole. To her. I should've....after Sarah died I didn’t want to get attached, so I kept her at arms length and I... I wished I hadn’t in the end. It only made things worse.”

“Yeah,” you nod, look down. “I’ve made that mistake before.”

Joel doesn’t want to linger any longer on the memory. “What about you? Were you with anyone?”

“Uhm, yeah,” you fidget, looking uncomfortable. “I had a partner….for like ten years."

Ten years? He had been with Tess for more, but something about that information feels jarring. He’s shocked Tommy never told him this. Did Tommy even know? Suddenly, it dawns on Joel everything that could’ve happened to you since you’ve been apart. Entire lifetimes. And he’d said such horrible things when you’d fought. He remembers your face when he’d told you that you didn’t know what it was like to lose a child. Maybe you had. He’d been so cruel and inconsiderate just because he was uncomfortable. 

His throat feels tight, almost scared to learn anymore. “What…what was his name?”

“Well, Bea….was her name.” 

Joel is sure he doesn't hide the shock well. “Sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Yeah,” you say. “I don’t think I did either. Well, I sort of did, but I was too young I think when I first realized to make any sense of it, but…. I met her and…yeah,” then, you smirk. “I mean, I went to an all-girls school and I had a really bad relationship with my dad so…it definitely makes sense. ” 

Joel considers this, smiles along with you. “But anyways. Her and I met shortly after my brother died and it was kind of the same. We kept each other alive, things developed from there. We ended up getting involved with this group who lived in the middle of nowhere. That’s a whole other story, but…” you wave your hand. “I loved her, and I lost her right before Ethan and I got here.” 

Joel sees all the pain in your eyes, and wishes he could say something to take it all away. He knows he can’t. You look back out into the woods in his backyard, take a deep breath, and reach back towards the joint that you had put out not long before, lighting it again. Joel gets the sense that both of you had done the most amount of sharing possible for the time being. 

“Look at us,” you take another drag before passing it over. “Old times.”

“Old times,” he repeats, a smile working its way onto his face. 

“This used to be my favorite thing to do with you.” 

“It was nice,” Joel agrees….hesitates before continuing. “But I can think of some things I liked better.” He gives you a knowing look, and you roll your eyes, laughing easily at his joke. It feels so good to make you laugh, to see you smile. Why had he spent so much time resisting?

“Touche.” 

What happens next spills out of Joel so quickly he doesn’t think to stop it. “I tried to look for you….after all this happened. I didn’t have Sarah anymore, and I thought maybe….I don’t know. It was the only thing that kept me going for a while.”

“I did too,” you confess. “But…I was with Vincent and Ethan, and I felt like I couldn’t leave them alone for something that might just be…. I always hoped you both made it. And I’m so sorry she’s gone. I really did love her.” 

“I know you did,” Joel reaches out to take your hand. “I know. And I shouldn’t have said those things I did. I’m still not sure why you’ve been so patient with me.”

“Hmm,” you shift so that you’re closer to him. “You waited around for me back then. It’s only fair that I’d wait around for you now. I want you in my life. I don’t care what that looks like. But it’s too hard to forget about a person that you loved.” 

Joel wants as much from you as you’re willing to give, and he can’t tear his gaze away from you. But he wants you to see him, all of him, before he takes it. 

“I’ve let a lot of people down. I’ve done a lot of h-horrible things,” his voice cracks, and tears well in his eyes. 

“I have, too, you know? Those things still live with me. But I think what matters is who we are now,” you reach out, fingertips brushing the scar on his temple, and Joel swears that even if you don’t know the story behind it, you can see right through him. “And I know who you are.” 

“I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have.” 

“You won’t,” you say. “No more than anyone else has. And if it makes you feel better…when people hurt me, I’ve gotten pretty good at hurting them back.” 

“If I do, I’d hope you would.”

“I will. I promise,” your thumb strokes his cheek, marveling at him. “I would suggest a blood oath or something but….I heard we kind of already did that…”

He’s given you every warning, every barrier, and you’re still here. He can’t believe it, and he doesn’t think he can hold back any longer. “Come here.”

He kisses you. He wishes that he could be slow and tender and gentle like he used to be – and certainly he’s still capable, but he realizes that he’s been depriving himself of something he wanted for so long, and can’t seem to control himself. 

Your hands land on the side of his face, and he wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. Maybe you’re somewhat taken aback by his urgency, you hum against his lips, but you don’t resist at all. Joel maneuvers you so you’re straddling his thighs, and he grips your hips, your ass, coasts his hands up your side. Your lips part in a moan, and he slips his tongue into your mouth. 

For a while, he stays there, savors the taste of you, whiskey and smoke still lingering on your lips. His hands cup your jaw, feel your body, grip and squeeze and stroke and you let him, continue to let him. He tries everything, wondering if you’ll tell him to stop, if you’ll decide you’ve had too much, but you don’t. Then again, he should know by now that you’re a woman who knows what she wants. He just finds it’s hard to believe that he’s the thing you want.

You break away from him, just a little, and Joel presses his nose to your neck, kisses your pulse point. 

“Should we go upstairs?” your voice is raspy and breathless. “Will Ellie be home soon?” 

“Probably not for a while. We can be quick.”

“Hopefully not too quick,” you raise your eyebrows. Joel can’t help but laugh a little. He relishes in the way your hands rake up and down his arms, exploring him, touching him. Of course he wants you, but even just this would be enough. He’d be content with less, he hadn’t realized how starved of affection he’d been.

You’re able to pry yourselves off one another to make it up the stairs, and Joel guides you with a hand to the small of your back. When you get to his bedroom, he opens the door, but stops you before you go inside. 

“Hold on,” Joel mutters, winding one arm around your waist, the other behind your knee.

“Joel, what-no, you’ll–” he pulls you into his arms. 

“Do you really think I’m not strong enough?”

“I didn’t say that,” you chuckle as he carries you over the threshold and into the bedroom, breath puffing against him before he lays you down on the bed. 

When he hovers over you, your fingers wind into his hair, nails raking against his scalp. He savors every sweet sigh he’s able to pull from you, hands cupping your breasts and squeezing your hips. You’re so pliant and open beneath his body, it makes it easier to not feel guilty about what he’s doing. He knows he shouldn’t feel guilty, you’ve said as much, but it might take some time before the feeling will die completely. Hopefully, he has enough time with you to see it off completely.

Clothes are removed quickly, intentionally, as you both bare more and more of yourself to each other. And while he wishes he could’ve been there to see the ways in which your body has changed, you’re still as beautiful as ever. 

Joel, however, is hesitant to give himself away completely. When you tug at the hem of his shirt, he hesitates. 

“I don’t know if-” he pauses. “If you want to see all that.”

“Joel,” you stare at him knowingly, kneeling across from him as he stands at the edge of the bed. “I do.” 

So he releases your hand, and lets you pull it over his head. Carefully, you study him, his body littered with scars. He knows he’s not as in shape as you remember. These days, he hardly can look at himself in the mirror after a shower. He expects you to be disgusted, or at least see it flit across your face before you compose yourself, but you don’t. Your fingertips drag through the smattering of hair on his chest and down his torso, tracing several prominent scars – each one with a story – but you linger on the one at his abdomen, frowning. 

He sees the question on your face, but you don’t ask it. Instead, you return to press yourself against him. “I’m so glad you’re still here….”

You kiss him, then, and Joel can only kiss you back. 

Joel isn’t the only one with battle scars. Some of them he feels are his fault, but you seem less self-concious about them, which gives him a surprising amount of confidence. Maybe it’s just a reality of what happens when you make it this long. 

When you’re finally bare beneath him, he admires how you look, stretched out and waiting, chest heaving and shivering with anticipation. He slides his hand between your legs – feels you already wet and warm, sinking two fingers inside. Your walls flutter around the intrusion, back arcing off the bed when you sigh out his name. Joel.

He’d forgotten how nice it felt to hear that. 

Joel is already thinking about what he’d like to do to you next time. He’d be more careful, more patient. He’d bury his face between your thighs to see if you tasted as good as he remembers, he’d let your fingers curl into his hair. But right now you both seem desperate for the same thing. 

He pumps his cock a few times with his hand, he can’t remember the last time he’d been this hard – the last time he’s wanted anyone this badly. Even with Tess, it had always felt like the both of them were hurrying to scratch an itch, her eyes would wander like she was thinking of other people, and maybe he was, too. 

Joel lines himself up with your slick cunt, teases you a little, and you roll your body down to meet him, gasping when his blunt head slides in – just a little. 

He can’t hold back. You practically suck him in, so tight and hot around him he finds it immediately overwhelming, but he doesn’t even think to pull out. Only when he’s fully seated inside you, and given you a chance to adjust, does he start to move. 

It’s euphoric. You’re both older now, more mature, but he still remembers all the things you liked, even if it takes a moment for him to find the spot inside you that makes you cry out, legs wrapping around his hips. 

Unlike before, you don’t bother trying to hide from him. You kiss him, hold him, touch him, look him in the eyes, tell him how good he feels – you don’t hold back. Joel relishes every word you say, clings to the praise and gives it back. Your lashes flutter when he tells you how pretty you look.

He can think of nothing else other than bringing you pleasure, can tell you’re getting close when you begin to rut against him, and he reaches down to let the pads of his fingers slide over your clit.

When you come, you whine his name, lock your lips with his own and he swallows your moans. The feeling of you so impossibly tight and wet and pulsing and squeezing him so tightly has him following closely after. 

His head is still buried in the crook of your neck when you speak again. “God, I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you, too.”

The second Joel pulls out, he starts missing how close he felt to you. But you fix that by rolling over onto your stomach, curling up at his side, head on his chest, and arm across his stomach. 

“Joel. Fuck, you’re so perfect.”

He’s far from it. But he’s starting to think if you say it enough, maybe he’ll start to believe it. He turns his head to kiss you gently, slowly. “So are you.” 

“We can do this again, right?” you ask. 

“Yes,” he says. “Yes, we can.”

“Good,” you settle back against him, and very slowly, he dozes off with you right beside him. He doesn’t want to sleep alone again, and luckily, he doesn’t have to. 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

-December 4th, 2026-

When you return home from patrol, you find Joel in his living room – boots off and socked feet propped on the arm of the couch. You don’t notice his eyes are closed, that he’s asleep, until you get closer, see the book he’d been reading resting on his chest as he snores lightly. You can’t help but feel for him – he’s probably exhausted from constant patrols, so he must be tired. 

But mostly, you’re just overwhelmed by the love you feel for him, catching him in a quiet moment of vulnerability. Hesitantly, you reach out and squeeze his foot. It’s gentle and tender enough that he blinks his eyes open and looks around, taking in his surroundings, rather than jolting awake like he often does. When he sees you on the opposite end of the couch, he melts back into the pillow he’s propped against. 

“Hey, stud,” you lean against the arm of the couch. 

“Hey,” Joel answers, voice still gruff with sleep. “How long was I out?”

“I don’t know,” you shrug. “I just got in.”

“Hmm,” Joel closes his eyes again, folds his hands across his stomach.

“You’re wearing the glasses I got you,” you point out. They’re simple. Rectangular black frames. You’d found them on patrol, and brought them home after Joel had been complaining that he could barely see when he read before bed. But he’d tried them on and insisted he hated the way they looked, so you’d ended up using them most of the time.

“They do work,” he grumbles, like he’s ashamed to admit it. “But I still think they look stupid.”

“You look like a sexy librarian,” Joel rolls his eyes, but you can tell he’s suppressing a grin. There’s always a bit of defiance about him, he can’t fully admit how you get him so flustered even after you’ve spent so much time together. You press your thumb into the arch of his foot and he groans. “That feel good?” you ask. 

“Yes.”

“Whatcha reading?” You gesture towards the book. 

“Some book about the moon landing,” Joel lifts it off of his chest, where it lay face down and open, looks at the back cover. “For Ellie.”

“How sweet.”

“It’s a little dry,” he deadpans. “But she likes this stuff.” 

You shift your massage to his other foot. Joel stretches, his arms lifting above his head, the shirt he’s wearing rides up just so, so you see a sliver of his lower belly before it disappears again, throwing an arm over his eyes. 

“Are you tired?” you ask. 

“Always,” he says through a yawn. 

“Me too,” you yawn along with him, since they’re contagious. He pulls the glasses from their perch on the bridge of his nose and shuts the book, placing them both on the coffee table in front of him. You take your hands off his feet and he sits up a little straighter, holding out his hand. 

“Come ‘ere,” he says, and you do. 

He grunts as you settle into his arms, head nestled against his chest, sprawling out almost on top of him, the only way you both can fit like this on the couch.

“You’re so warm,” you say softly, letting him wrap his arms around you. 

“You’re cold. Your hands are freezing,” he holds them in his own.

“It’s cold out.”

“Don’t know why you left today.”

“Obligations. Patrol.”

“Fuck that.”

You laugh into his chest, pausing for a moment before speaking again. “You know, I think we might be boring.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Well, we don’t really leave the house. We spend all day reading. And we’re old.”

“We’re not that old.”

“But we’re getting up there.”

“Sure, but…” Joel trails off. 

“Everything’s so quiet, so calm.”

“I think that’s what most people would describe as content.” 

“Are you content?” you ask, lifting your head to look him in the eyes. 

“I’m happy,” he says softly, tucking a piece of hair behind your ears. “Are you?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Then don’t worry about the rest.”

“Okay,” you settle back against your husband's chest, feel his lips brush your forehead.

His fingers search absentmindedly for the ring on your finger he’d found while clearing out a pawn shop not too long ago. The one he wore looked nothing like your own. But the marriage had been long overdue, and neither of you cared what the rings actually looked like. 

Nowadays, you split your time between his place with Ellie, and your own with Ethan, but end up in his bed every night. At this point, you don’t think you could sleep without him. 

Years ago, another lifetime, you’d had a conversation underneath a sky full of stars. You’d told him that for you, good things had never lasted. Joel had made a promise. 

This will.

It took time. There was a lot of pain. But in the end, he had told you the truth.

-

-

-

[wonwoonlight]

📣: Doctor!Wonwoo // fluff // 884 words

A/N: hohohoh here i have arrived w the last of my requests 😎 gonna open my request box back on in a bit but not right now because im working on sth :p if i managed to finish it today, then i’ll open it back in a few hours. if not, then myb tomorrow bc im sexc like that😎😎 anyway! enjoy this doctor!wonwoo finding out yn is sick by accident ohoho.

p.s. you guys do know my ask is always open even if the request box is closed, right? dont hesitate to drop by and say sth!🙈

edit: [part 2]

 find the rest of requested drabble here 

It’s been a few days since Wonwoo has last seen you. He’s been cramped with works and he barely even has time to sleep. The last he actually has a proper conversation with you is probably almost a week ago.

He sighs, rubbing his head as he waits for the next patient to come in. This is probably his last one of the day and he wishes you’re not too busy yourself so he can see you once he gets off work.

An elderly woman comes in by herself, telling him how she’s been feeling. Wonwoo just nods along, writing some stuff down before he asks the nurse to take the woman to the examination bed to do the standard procedure.

Wonwoo stretches in his seat after that, sighing in relief once the woman thanks him and walks out of his room. He’s about to gather his stuff and leave when one of the nurses comes back in, smiling at him with guilt.

“I’m sorry, Doctor, but Dr. Choi asked if you can take his last patient? He has a sudden call from one of the professors so he has to go.”

Sighing to himself, he nods before he sits back down as he cracks his neck. One more patient shouldn’t take that long. He doesn’t even look at the clipboard the nurse gave him, it’s probably another case of cold and fever. With the season getting colder, a lot of his patients have been having cold cases.

“Oh…?” the patient exclaims when the door opens, her voice strangely familiar.

Wonwoo looks up to see his girlfriend blinking continuously at him. “But I asked for Dr. Choi…?”

“You’re sick?” Wonwoo frowns, worry quickly filling his system. “And why didn’t you come to me?”

You smile guiltily at the nurse, though he seems to understand you’re not just a patient to Wonwoo. You sigh as you walk to the seat in front of his desk. You didn’t mean to come here, not wanting Wonwoo to worry; but the insurance from your company is only claimable if you go to this hospital and another one that’s two hours away. So, you have just wished Wonwoo would be too busy or off work when you’re here with another doctor.

“Because you’d worry too much,” you tell him. Well, no use hiding it anymore, now. “Did Dr. Choi send me to you?”

“Yes, he’s got a call from one of the professors,” he quickly answers, his posture turning straight. Wonwoo searches for your face, he can tell for sure you’re a bit pale than usual and you definitely seem much too lethargic for his own liking. “What are your symptoms?”

You blow out your cheeks, reluctantly telling Wonwoo you’ve been lightheaded for a few days now and got a little warm last night.

Wonwoo frowns even more, not liking the situation one bit. He knows you’ve always been rather independent, but does it need to be this extend? He keeps it to himself for now, not wanting to debate with you in his work place in front of the nurse.

“Go lay down so I can check on you,” he says, not meeting your eyes. Truthfully, you feel a bit guilty that Wonwoo has to find out this way. It’s not like you’re trying to hide it from him, but you figure Wonwoo’s been having a lot of patients than usual these days and you think you’d tell him if it gets worse after this doctor visit.

Who thought you’d end up with him in this room now?

As he goes to exam you, you don’t dare to meet his eyes. You can tell that he’s upset and he’s rightfully so, you’d be upset too if Wonwoo’s sick and didn’t tell you anything.

“I’ll prescribe you some meds that would help. Make sure to take everything,” Wonwoo curtly says, giving the clipboard to the nurse.

When the nurse goes out, he looks at you with something that you’d describe as close to disappointment. Before he can get even more upset, you decide it’d be better to act cute in hope it will ease things off a little.

“Woo~” you pout with your whiny tone. It’s a tone Wonwoo knows well, ones you use when you’re trying to get him on your good side. “You know I don’t mean to hide it from you.”

He raises one of his eyebrows, deciding to indulge your little game. “That’s why you step into this hospital and book an appointment with Hansol?”

You pout even more, looking at him pitifully. “It’s just that Dr. Choi has less appointments than you are.”

“You really think I’d buy that?” he asks, a bit amused. It’s kind of cute the way you’re making up reasons. “Whatever. Just get your meds and wait for me by the lobby. We’re going home.”

“You’re done for the day?” you ask, your eyes following Wonwoo’s figure as he moves around to gather his things.

“I should be until Hansol’s patient is referred to me.”

“Woo~” you whine again and Wonwoo just laughs at your tone.

He stands near you and hold out his hand to help you stand up, there’s determination in his eyes as you take his hand. “You’re not leaving your bed until tomorrow under my care.”

[morganaspendragonss]

OOOO prompt! if you’ll take it ;) what abt tk struggling with taking a new medication? our boy is very adhd coded id love to see the need to be medicated clash with his anxiety over addiction, esp since adhd meds are used as street drugs for ppl wo adhd — maybe he comes home with the meds and is super anxious and carlos comforts him and convinces him that itd be a good idea to try them (bc it definitely would adhd meds are magic for ppl w adhd speaking from experience lol) ;):):):)

thank you for the prompt! i tried to focus on tk’s anxiety over taking medication, because that’s something i have experience with, unlike with addiction or adhd. nevertheless, if this fic is disrespectful or offensive in any way, please let me know and i will of course take it down xx

ao3

TK turns the box over in his hands, staring at but not really seeing the label. He knows, logically, that he’s being ridiculous. It’s not like he’s never taken pills since getting lean - but this is different from the occasional ibuprofen or short-term meds after an injury. This is… It’s heavier, somehow, like the second he starts taking them, he’ll be drawing a line in the sand, marking out the rest of his life.

Which is a stupid thing to think, TK knows this.

He also knows that this is the best thing for him, but he can’t stop the anxiety crawling up his throat. TK is as secure in his sobriety as he’s ever been, but this feels dangerous. Pills like these are used on the streets - TK had never taken them, but he’d had friends who did. He’d seen how they’d been affected - hell, he’d been right alongside them the whole time - and not all of them were as lucky as he had been. Not all of them had gotten out, gotten sober, gotten better.

Point is, maybe his fears aren’t baseless, but that doesn’t make them any less irrational. This isn’t a relapse; this is him getting help and dealing with something that’s affected his life for years.

So why doesn’t it feel like that?

Downstairs, the click of the front door alerts him to Carlos’s arrival. TK smiles despite himself and decisively shuts the box away in the bathroom cabinet before heading down to greet his boyfriend. Something inside him settles at the sight of Carlos, but he’s still on edge, and clearly he’s not doing a good job of hiding it, as Carlos frowns when he pulls away from the hug TK envelopes him in.

“You okay?” he asks, worry evident all over his face.

TK hums, moving to take a seat on the couch. Carlos follows, placing a grounding hand on TK’s knee. He doesn’t push, and TK is grateful for that, the silence different to how it had been when he was alone. It’s almost comforting; he’s able to take a breath and attempt to get his thoughts in order.

“I went to the doctor’s today,” he starts, voice quiet. “About my ADHD. They prescribed me some meds.”

Carlos nods, squeezing his knee. “That’s good, right?”

TK bites his lip, staring down at his lap. He can feel Carlos’s concern as he moves his hand to TK’s hair, gently running his fingers through the strands.

“Ty?”

“It is good,” he confirms, attempting a smile. “I just… It feels like it means more than it does, you know?”

He looks up at Carlos, guilt rising in him as he sees the hesitation and uncertainty on his face. TK sighs, his hands fluttering in the air as he tries to explain - a difficult task, as he’s only half-sure what he means himself.

“The thought of taking pills again regularly...it makes me worry that I’m going to end up relapsing. I - I know this is different, I know it’s supposed to help me, but I’m always going to be an addict, Carlos. What if… What if I can’t handle it?”

Sudden tears appear in his eyes as he turns to Carlos. He doesn’t resist when Carlos pulls him close, pressing a gentle kiss into his hair.

“Have you taken meds for it before?” Carlos asks softly.

TK nods. “When I was a kid.”

“And they helped back then?”

“Well… Yeah.” TK sits up, frowning at his boyfriend. “But it’s different now, Carlos.”

“How so?”

Carlos is looking at him in a way that lets TK know he already has the answer to his own question, but he wants him to say it. TK’s breath catches in his throat, familiar shame filling him.

“I wasn’t an addict back then.”

Carlos nods, wrapping his arms around him. “And you’re not just an addict now,” he says, surprising TK with how firm his voice is. “You are strong and you can handle anything - and, even if you can’t, I’m right here to support you. But, babe” - he shifts, tilting his head to meet TK’s eyes - “if this can help you, don’t you think it’s worth a try? It’s better than not, right?”

TK is silent for a long time, twisting his hands together. He knows - he knows - that Carlos is right, and it’s so easy to believe him in this moment. Carlos has that effect on him, turning TK’s fears into lesser versions of themselves.

He hopes it’s enough. He wants it to be enough.

“Okay,” he whispers, smiling up at Carlos.

Carlos grins in response, pulling TK into a tight embrace. TK settles back into it, squeezing Carlos’s hand, knowing he hears the unsaid thank you.

And, suddenly, the box in the bathroom cabinet doesn’t seem quite so daunting.

[under-the-green-eyes]

Chapter 3

Storywise there isn't much to analyze cause, yeah, u guessed right, it's hot 'n' steamy time *eyebrow wiggle* ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Anyway, this is the perfect starting point for my main and also personal favorite thesis. And that is to explain why Jaxx's works are just top tier BL rn and what makes them so outstanding. (I really wanted to do this for a while now cause I just ADORE her works and at least for me she's the absolute No.1) Like, I always say stuff like that with friends but I couldn't quite explain why it is the way it is. So I'm really looking forward to take a rather analytical approach to explain what exactly makes the difference. Of course, that's my subjective opinion and perception but here I'm trying to prove it based on "facts" or rather examples. I mean the ratings for it speaks for itself.

Lets divide this into the two main aspects:

1. Character Design

When I was first reading Walk On Water it was so unusual and even kinda weird for me to see all those big, bulky men. It seemed like some sort of Bara manhwa to me. No wonder I thought this way when up to this point I was coming from all these rather "stereotypical" representations in mangas etc. As long as I remember Walk On Water was one of the first manhwas being like that. Just to be clear I really don't mean to degrade those types of mangas. I'm just trying to say that as a regular yaoi reader it can be quite tiresome and predictable to see in every story the same stereotypes, regarding appearance as well as in character traits.

So for one we've got most commonly the rather "manly" (bigger, straightforward, dominant,...) seme and the more "feminine" (smaller, fragile, shy,...) uke. Here, we got for both sides those big ass men and therefore it takes a lot of more time to figure out who is who. Specifically, up until to the first intercourse. This as well is a major reason that keeps us hooked on it. Also, the whole comment section in the time period until chapter 13 proves the point. There were everywhere hints and guesses who's gonna be the seme/uke and let me tell u it was pretty much up to 50/50. To sum it up, it is just so refreshing to see for both sides these "manly" men bc that just rarely happens, tho changes can be seen, especially regarding the manhwa scene. My point is that me, as a female reader, I ain't reading BL to see some sort of substitute for a female character.

That is obviously not the one reason to break it down to. This of course only works for Under The Green Light and Walk On Water. There are manhwas which does not work like that and still they're absolute masterpieces. One current example: Dangerous Convenience Store. Absolutely gorgeous. I won't dig in any deeper but think about it.

2. Art Style

Actually, dunno exactly how to name it but her overall art style and construction of story telling. Here I will give some examples. Basic features are the actions of the characters and how they're drawn. One outstanding feature is Jaxx abilities in drawing expressions and therefore creating an IMMACULATE level of atmosphere, especially for the steamy scenes. So let's go.

Short recall to the previous argument, what it also makes it so intriguing is that the prescribed attributes are reverted here. Jin, as far as he's being the uke, is the actual dominant and straightforward part. And this is just a different level of hotness, to see the "receiving" person to express their desires, even act on without any hesitation and want it as much (here actually more lmao) than the "giving" person. Another point, she just uses so many "tropes" that are just so highly erotic: the neck kissing/biting, licking, kissing in general, biting while kissing. And all those in one chapter, u can imagine how red my fucking face was.

Also the damn dialogue, Matthew just being so damn honest and overwhelmed with the situation, having no words. And THEN Jin asking him, like I can literally HEAR him saying it. He's eating him up ALIVE and he doesn't stand a single chance. Um, can I get devoured like that as well? Then he's just being a tease. Also, pls have a look at Matthews face here, totally dazed, UGH same boy. Peak of it being their faces while having sex.

Where I am trying to get at is that is seen so rarely how they're fully enjoying it. Usually there is whining, crying and denying and rarely the uke is enjoying the sex as much as the seme. It is just so well drawn, the struggle of keeping one sane thought, the total lust overcoming him, the dazed gaze and the furrowed brows. PERFECTION.

[sharontcte]

sick bella hc’s 

Charlie being an absolute DOTE and calling into work to take the day off so he can take care Bella

Bella absolutely insisting he goes to work that she’ll be ok alone that she’ll just be sleeping for most of the day anyways

but Charlie is not having it, he wants to take care of her (even though he doesn’t even take of himself when he’s sick)

Edward calls Bella as soon as she starts to feel sick because Alice already gave him the heads up that she wouldn’t be at school that day 

Edward being Edward panics and thinks of the worst case scenario - thinking Bella is going to die so naturally, is a bag of nerves

Carlisle doesn’t even hesitate to pick up his house call bag and drive over to Charlie’s to check up on bella and do an assessment 

bella is mortified when the movie star doc enters her bedroom with charlie bc she’s incredibly self conscious about looking sick but mostly because charlie and now carlisle are making such a fuss

she insists she’s fine and that she’ll go to school tomorrow

but carlisle ain’t having it he’s prescribing a week of bed rest 

*incoherent frustrated bella noises* 

charlie spends the rest of the day trying to recreate the chicken soup his mother used to make for him as a boy

he sits at the dinning table for a solid 2 hours frustrated as hell trying to remember and write down the ingredients

he eventually gives up and decides to just wing it 

it’s unclear how long he’s been trying to make the soup but it’s now dark outside

finally, he makes his way to bella’s bedroom, bowl of soup in hands, beaming from ear to ear because he’s so proud of himself 

bella thinks this is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for her and she can’t help but cry when he leaves the room 

the next morning esme shows up: she’s here to take care of bella so charlie can go to work

she’s brought a huge bag filled to the brim with groceries, hot water bottles and god knows what else

she got overly excited at the prospect of looking after her human daughter 

esme is in her element taking care of bella. She never gets to take of her children like this and for the first time in what feels like forever, she feels truly needed as a mother 

at first bella is embarrassed by all the attention and fuss (especially when esme brings in a bowl of cold water and cloth to wash her face) but when she’s stroking her face so gently and lovingly, she feels like a small child again and relishes in the love radiating off of this beautiful woman that she considers a second mother

she especially loves when esme sits by her and tells stories of her early years with carlisle and edward 

edward drops by despite bella’s demand that he stays away until she’s better (she doesn’t want him to see her like this) but edward thinks she looks beautiful more than ever despite the balmy skin and tired eyes 

after planting cool kisses all over her fevered face despite her protests, he tells her to close her eyes

when she opens them, he’s holding a huge handmade card and a bouquet of wild flowers 

‘‘ the flowers are from me, the card is emmett’s...personal design ’‘

bella can’t help but laugh at the humerous caricature of herself emmett has drawn on the front. inside, is a large elegant font reads : ’’ get well soon, bella! love, all of us ‘’ 

The rest of the card consists of signatures from everyone with a personalised message (emmett signed for both himself and rose because....well, rose is rose)

bella is overcome by the sweet gesture and runs her fingertips over the signatures before stopping at Edward’s message: ‘’ My Angel, it would be apparent that my love for you is an unquestionable force to be reckoned with; but with the seasonal flu, it seems I can not contest. But take comfort knowing that my heart is yours. I love you today, tomorrow and forever, Edward ‘’

Eyes brimming with tears she smiles weakly and whispers a thank you before taking his hand to kiss it

she beams at the delicate flowers held together by a small white ribbon and it only takes a second for her to realize where they’ve come from - their meadow 

‘‘ since you can’t come to our spot, i’ve brought our spot to you ’‘ he says while she brings the flowers to her nose to inhale

after hours of holding her while she snoozes, he kisses her forehead and regrets having to go but charlie is pulling up in the driveway

he appears next to esme downstairs in seconds and kisses her cheek ‘’ thank you for taking care of her ‘’ 

esme jokes that she might not ever come home, she’s having too much fun being needed 

she’s also started cooking dinners for charlie 

by the end of the week, bella is up and about and feeling herself again and life goes back to normal 

[livralph]

Too late- drarry angst but it ends in fluff bc I can’t commit to angst

Harry winced as Draco applied the murtlap essence to the cuts and scratches on his arm, but other than that managed to hide the discomfort it had put him in. Draco hesitated, looking uncertainly at him. His hands were reaching to the table to pick up the bandages that were sat atop of it. “I’m fine.” Harry said through his teeth, proving how obviously not fine he was.

“You aren’t, but I’m going to put the bandage on no matter how much it hurts because otherwise that will get infected.” Draco countered, shaking his head lightly when he began wrapping the bandage around his friends upper arm.

“It won’t get infected-“

“It will.” He said harshly, eyeing Harry reproachfully before allowing his gaze to wander to the bruises on his chest. “Those will take ages to heal. I’d prescribe you something, but seeing as you refuse to go to St Mungo’s I can’t.”

“Draco.” Harry muttered pleadingly. “I can’t go, because I’ll have to say what happened.”

The bandage on Harry’s arm finally covered the wounds effectively so Draco cut the end and secured it to stop it from unravelling. “You could at least tell me what happened.”

After not even a second of thought Harry shook his head. “No I can’t.”

Of course, this had been what Draco had expected. It happened so often. Harry would come to his with an injury and refuse to explain it. Years ago, when Harry was still an auror, he didn’t ask for an explanation, only laughed and muttered something about Harry and his need to be a hero. But that had been years ago. Now Harry worked in Diagon Alley with Luna, a small cafe which they also sold second hand muggle books and books detailing the various creatures Luna’s mind obsessed over from. There was no reason for Harry to come to Draco’s with new injuries that were obviously not from simply tripping over every other week. He’d once had a broken collar bone and Draco practically dragged him to St Mungo’s, still being non the wiser about what had happened.

“Tell me.” Draco implored, looking over Harry’s form sadly. The bruise upon his ribs were shaping out to obviously be from punches. There was one mark on his stomachs that were certainly left by magic- the cruciatus curse, and Draco couldn’t even bare to think how he’d gotten it, let alone who had given him it. “Please.”

Harry shook his head, though he looked closer to giving in than he ever had before, eyes screwed shut, eyebrows furrowed. “I can’t. I can’t, because if I did I’d have to tell you something else that I can never say.”

Draco’s hands fell to his lap and he became very aware of the pain in his legs from kneeling beside the sofa for so long. He knew what that was, of course he did. The thought was dismissed as soon as it arrived. Now it would be crewl to retract what he’d said years ago a while after they’d become friends. They were drunk, in Harry appartment. Pretending that two years previously the war hadn’t ended, Harry hadn’t died and somehow come back when so many children and adults and magical creatures were lost. Harry hadn’t spoken for a few minutes, nor had Draco. They were just sat in the kitchen, sipping their fire whiskey gently.

Or, Draco had been. Harry has been looking at Draco as if he’d just had some revelation. He saw the look in the corner of his eye and grimaced. The words he’d said were so vivid that he played them on repeat each time Harry and him went out to eat together, when Harry came to his house with muggle movies when Narcissa had fallen ill and forbade him from moping at her bedside, every time they’d seen eachother and felt that the line of friendship they’d managed to maintain had become blurred.

The words were right there because he’d said them and however much he hated that he had he couldn’t allow himself to tell Harry he hadn’t meant them. Draco had meant it eight years ago and he still meant it with Harry lying shirtless on his sofa, seconds away from explaining it.

“There were some people, teenagers really, in the Alley between the cafe and Ollivanders. They were being loud, shouting about death eaters and I heard a few screams, so I went down- to make sure no one was in trouble, y’know.” He breathed deeply. “They always get excited when they see me- famous Harry Potter. The wizard who killed Voldemort, who’s parents died when he was a child, who lost fucking everything that could have been good. They only see the first bit. I said hi, made sure they were all right. Then they explained what they were doing.”

Draco laughed, but there wasn’t a drop of humour to it. He could guess where this was going. “They we’re putting up pictures of ex-death eaters who hadn’t been prosecuted. Or just followers of Voldemort who they thought deserved some shit.”

Harry nodded. “Posters of you, saying there was a reward if you were given to the ministry alive, bigger reward if you were dead. Other names too, Slytherin’s, all of them. Some of them were first years when we were in our eighth year. I told them to stop. Didn’t go to plan, especially when I told them I know you.”

“For fucks sake, Harry-“

“I old them you’re a good person, said your a healer now- bloody good one too. And then-“ Harry lifted his less injured arm and gestured at himself. He bit the inside of his cheek when he felt a sharp pain sear across his shoulder blades. “It happens all the time, Luna keeps trying to get me to report them. Same kids every time.”

Draco covered his face with his hands hunching over himself and speaking, though it was to muffled to be in any way comprehensible. He looked up a few moments later. His eyes were glassy, as if he were trying not to cry. “Why don’t you? Look at yourself, these aren’t even all from today- they’re from the three weeks ago because you haven’t even managed to heal from the last time they attacked you.”

Harry just let out a deep breath and shook his head.

“Why do you stop them?” He muttered weakly, not wanting to know the answer. “Even Pansy wouldn’t stand up to them, hell, Luna doesn’t stop them. Why do you?”

“You know why. I know you do.” Harry put his hand out towards Draco, begging him to take it.

He laughed bitterly, looking at the outstretched hand and to where his own were still in his lap. “I told you not to fall in love with me.”

When he accepted that Draco wasn’t going to acknowledge his hand more than he had he sat up a little more so that he could rest his hand on the side of Draco’s face. His friend flinched, eyes closing to stop his tears, falling one was already making its way down his face.

“Harry-“ Draco began, only to be stopped when Harry’s thumb brushed across his cheekbone, wiping away the tear. He exhaled shakily.

“Too late.”

Draco clenched his jaw. Maybe if he wished hard enough this wouldn’t be real. Harry wasn’t actually telling him he was in love with him. This was all some wicked dream to torture Draco more than ever. At least usually when he had dreams about Harry they had no trace of truth, he could simply brush it off and go on with life. That was the only was he knew what was going on wasn’t a dream, never would his imagination be this crewl.

“You’re in love with me.” Draco said, meaning to ask it, but it came out as a statement. He felt Harry nod, which surprised him enough to open his eyes. Harry had moved to be sat on the floor in front of Draco they were at eye level. “You’re an idiot.” He breathed against Harry’s mouth.

“Maybe.”

“Just maybe?” It was bordering teasing, but the air was too thick for it to work. It sounded deadly serious from the circumstances. That was probably for the better.

“Well, can’t be that bad; I know you love me too, don’t I?” The air was thin again, Draco could feel his limbs.

“Do you?” But even as he spoke his hands were moving to rest on the back of Harry’s neck and find the hand that wasn’t on his cheek.

“Maybe.” Their fingers wove together.

“Just maybe?” Draco repeated, his tears now mingled with Harry’s both of their cheeks.

Harry opened his eyes, and somehow Draco did this around the same time. He shrugged shyly at the blonde, eyes fixed intently on the grey ones inches from his.

Draco took this moment to press a delicate kiss to Harry’s lips. “Of course I love you, Harry.”

He allowed a smile to grow on his face. “I love you too.”

Draco snorted, “I’ve been trying to convince myself that that wasn’t true for years.” Harry tensed in his arms. “I don’t deserve you- I don’t, Harry. Or- I thought I didn’t. I was in such a bad place and things were just going worse. There’s this muggle thing I read about. Karma; I learnt about it in our repeat seventh year. I took muggle studies.”

“I remember.” Harry breathed.

“Of course you do.” Draco laughed as said the words, more tears falling from his eyes and they only fell harder when Harry wiped them away. “But, I thought it was karma for what I’d done for Vo- for Voldemort. The threats that I still get, my mother’s death, so many other things. I figured if we were in love it would go to shit. It wasn’t difficult to decide losing you all together would be so much worse than being just friends.”

“Well, let me tell you something, you’ll never lose me completely. I’ll always be here for you no matter what you need me for.”

Draco pressed their foreheads together lightly and kissed Harry again because he could. “Stupid fucking hero complex.” The words were muffled as Draco spoke them directly into the other mans mouth, but Harry laughed all the same.

[ilikeyouxactually]

Do you mean a shyland prompt as in a fic or? Bc if you are , can you just Write like a Cute fluff!fic where Ryland has like sprained his ankle or something and Shane is helping Him Walk and idk just a Cute hurt!comfort fic? I love you!

Ahhhhh holy fuck this is so cute and I love it!! I love you too, anon! Please enjoy :)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/16688581

I’m Here For You

Summary: Ryland accidentally gets hurt and Shane takes care of him.Or, during some drunken dancing, Ryland twists his ankle so Shane takes care of him and comforts him.

Shane and Ryland were never the type to frequently drink. Yeah, they would keep some of their favorite liquors on hand at all time, but it was in case they decided last minute they wanted to celebrate, or just unwind. Every once in a while if they were taking a break from real life, they’d have a couple drinks and just enjoy each other’s company without having to worry about anything else—and they loved that. Just the two of them in the universe with no other worries to bring them down. Shane had just finished all of his filming and editing for the week and was absolutely done. His eyes were actually twitching from staring at his computer screen for so long. Ryland was on the couch, scrolling on Instagram when Shane emerged from his office looking completely spent. His hair was going in a million directions, the stubble on his face was looking extra stubbly, and the circles under his eyes would make anyone suspect he hadn’t slept in weeks—which wasn’t entirely wrong. “We’re drinking tonight,” rolled off Shane’s lips as he strolled right past Ryland into the kitchen to grab his trusty bottle of Patron. Making his way back to the living room, Ryland just raised an eyebrow at him in response.“Yeah?”“Yeah,” Shane popped the top off the bottle before taking a big swig of the tequila, face scrunching as the alcohol burned his throat going down. Without skipping a beat, he flicked some music on the TV before flopping down onto the couch, offering the bottle to Ryland. The other man didn’t hesitate or question his boyfriend, tonight they were going to let loose. Ryland followed his boyfriend’s actions, drinking directly from the bottle. He couldn’t help but shiver as the liquid made it’s way down his throat—stinging the whole way.“God, that never gets any easier—well, except for when you’re already drunk. Then it’s pretty easy,” Ryland shrugged, turning the music on the TV up. Shane chuckled, grabbing the bottle for his second shot. He sat back watching as his boyfriend got up and started dancing to the music, not minding to just sit back and watch. The thought of dancing—in theory—was good. It was fun, especially when you were doing it with someone you liked. But Shane’s childhood and horrible self-image made it very uncomfortable. Ryland moved so effortlessly in time with the music, and fuck his body looked perfect the way it swayed and twirled. 

Ryland stepped over to Shane, shimmying his shoulders as he snatched the tequila bottle, gulping down his second shot. “Why don’t you dance with me!” Ryland practically yelled over the music. Shane was already starting to feel the buzz of the alcohol, his head just starting to spin. A warmth rushed over his body, starting at his fingers and going all the way to his toes. Ryland was clearly starting to feel the effects of the tequila. He had a tendency of dancing more risqué when he was drunk, Shane noticed—with no complaints. Fuck it, Shane thought, dragging himself off the couch. Tove Lo’s “Talking Body” started blasting through the speakers and Ryland couldn’t help the scream of excitement that came out of his mouth. He all but threw the bottle back at Shane to resume to his dance floor in front of the couch. He twirled around in circles, swaying his hips in time with the beat. Shane watched in amusement, belting out the lyrics as his boyfriend dropped to the floor several times, hands raised above his head. Shane bit his lip watching the way Ryland moved. Unable to stand the distance between them, Shane diminished it quickly, grabbing his hips and swaying to the beat. The other beamed at Shane, biting back a smile as he quickly turned in Shane’s grip to playfully grind his ass against his boyfriend.

Now if we’re talking bodyYou got a perfect one so put it on meSwear it won’t take you long If you love me rightWe fuck for life, on and on and on

Ryland was just about to work his way into a spin when his foot got caught on one of Uno’s chew toys. His foot colliding with the soft material of the toy made him lose his balance. Before Shane could comprehend and grab him to prevent the fall, Ryland slipped on the wood floor—crashing hard.“Fuck!” He belted, grabbing his ankle as if to make sure it were still attached. Shane dropped to his knees, meeting Ryland on the floor.“Shit are you okay?!”“I think—I think I twisted my ankle…” Ryland choked out the words, biting back the tears as the pain started ripping through him. Shane panicked, giving his boyfriend a quick kiss to the forehead as he bolted up from the floor in desperate search of his phone.“Stay there! I’m getting an Uber!” Shane ran to the kitchen, pacing frantically as he set up the arrangements for Ryland to be brought to the hospital. Ryland did all he could to not laugh—because really, where would he be going right now—but also feeling extremely grateful that his boyfriend was so quick to help him and be there for him. Shane rushed back to the living room moments later, bag of frozen veggies in hand, words were flying from him lips but Ryland barely understood. Something about them being on their way. He would be lying if he said his head wasn’t spinning, too. Before he knew it, Shane was wrapping his arm’s around his frame, lifting him from the floor bridal-style and bringing him to the couch. “Don’t worry baby… you’re gonna be okay,” Shane placed the frozen peas on Ryland’s ankle, the other man instantly letting out a wince. He offered Shane a weak smile, reaching out to hold his hand as they waited for the Uber.

***The next morning, Ryland awoke in Shane’s protective arms, his boyfriend already awake and watching him with a worried look. He attempted to blink himself awake, rubbing his eyes as he tried to wipe away the sleep. Glancing down to his feet, he noticed his ankle was wrapped in medical cloth. A sigh escaped his lips as he nuzzled into Shane’s chest.“Hey, morning,” Shane cooed, placing a gentle kiss to Ryland’s head. The other grumbled in response. “How are you feeling?”“Sore.” Ryland rubbed his head, trying to piece together what even happened last night.“You slipped and fell on one of Uno’s toys,” Shane explained as if he had read Ryland’s mind, “I called for an Uber to get you to the hospital because we had been drinking. It’s not too serious—just a sprain. The doctor wrapped you up in the bandage and prescribed you some pain meds,” he grabbed the bottle from the nightstand table to show Ryland. “Try to stay off it as much as you can, and ice it as often as you need to,” Shane recited the instructions the doctor had given him. Ryland sighed once again. Had Shane actually carried him upstairs and into bed last night? He nuzzled deeper into Shane.“Thank you.”“For what?” Shane was puzzled, he hadn’t done anything.“For caring for me the way you do.” Ryland pressed a gentle kiss to Shane’s cheek. “Now, how about you help me downstairs so we can grab some breakfast? I need to take these pills with food, and I definitely need one right about now.” He groaned, pushing himself to sit up. Shane maneuvered Ryland’s arm around his neck, helping the man out of bed. They took slow, careful steps so Ryland could limp at his own pace without putting any extra pressure on his ankle. Everything was fine until they got to the stairs. Ryland stopped dead in his tracks and gulped. The spiral staircase was one of Ryland’s favorite parts of Shane’s home. Ever since he was a kid, he always loved them. He would fantasize about being a grown up, being able to walk down spiral stairs early in the morning in a robe and not have a single thing to worry about. In ways, he was living his childhood dream. His favorite thing to do was to waltz down the stairs wearing Shane’s oversized fluffy robe and sunglasses, acting like the Queen herself—just to hear Shane’s laugh.But now, with a busted ankle, this staircase was fucking terrifying. All those steps. What if he fell again? He was lucky that he only sprained his ankle, but the pain from that was almost too much. He couldn’t imagine actually breaking it. It must’ve been the sweat beading down his face, his skin going ghost-white, or how he actually stopped breathing that made Shane think he might be nervous. Without a word or second thought, Shane swooped Ryland up in his arms and carried him down the stairs. A gasp slipped through Ryland’s lips as he tightened his grip around Shane’s neck. Sometimes he actually forgot how strong Shane was. And right now, being held tightly against Shane’s chest, and feeling those arms around hm,, Ryland thought he might swoon. A rosy red crept up Ryland’s cheek, making Shane giggle.“You are so freaking adorable, you know that right?” Shane pressed a gentle kiss to Ryland’s jaw. As they neared the bottom of the stairs, Ryland couldn’t help but feel overcome with gratitude for his sweet boyfriend and how loving he was. Not only did Shane actually panic last night when Ryland got hurt, proceed to make immediate arrangements for them to get to the hospital and acknowledge that neither were in a state to drive, but then totally cater to Ryland’s needs and help him in every way possible.“Do you even realize how amazing you are, Shane Dawson?” Ryland hummed, carefully slipping out of Shane’s hold when they reached the last step. Shane blushed as he set Ryland down with ease, making sure to keep all weight off his bad ankle.“I’m not amazing—I’m your boyfriend, I’m supposed to take care of you. Scratch that, that makes it sound like a chore—I want to take care of you because I love you.” Ryland beamed at the older man, pulling Shane’s face down to his to crash their lips together, making the other hum in delight. Shane pulled away, helping Ryland over to the dining room table. “Wait here, I’ll get us some breakfast—and some water for you to take that medication with.” Before Shane could walk off, Ryland grabbed his arm, pulling him back in for another kiss.“Seriously Shane, thank you.” Ryland held Shane’s face in between his hands, staring deeply into those gorgeous, familiar blue eyes. “I love you, okay? I’m not going anywhere, I promise.” Shane gave Ryland’s hand a loving squeeze. And he meant it. Last night when Ryland got hurt, he was terrified. Seeing him in pain, tore him apart and actually made his heart hurt—and it wasn’t just the burning of the alcohol in his chest. As long as Ryland would have him, Shane would always be there to care for and protect him. He only hoped it could be forever.

[justwritingscibbles]

Stress Leave

Fic Request:  “If you don’t do fics for dr.iplier just ignore, but maybe he’s sad bc xmas is one of the most accident prone times of the year, I mean you’ve got dark and Wilford looking like they’re trying to do a 3 legged race with Christmas lights, Bing breaking the wires in his leg after trying to do a skating stunt for a xmas charity etc etc, and he never has time to himself or anyone to wish him a happy xmas, host realises bc narration and Iplier family thanking dr Iplier 4 everything and end togetherness”

I think I went a little off the request topic, sorry if it wasn’t what you wanted.

First Dark and Light had an argument. One that both started to show their under-layers of energy. Light radiated gold and white, while Dark’s blue and red shell began to crack. Something about how the decorations were set around the tree. It was a stupid argument, but their fights were usually over something stupid. Then you were caught in the powerful pressure building between them. Your mortal perception was ruined for the rest of the day, causing terrible migraines and both hot and cold flushes to run through your body.  Dr. Iplier prescribed you the rest of the day in bed and appointed Host to be your sentry until you were able to move again.  This then started up another argument between the two Ipliers. But it escalated into a fight that the two took into a place outside the mortal reality. Meaning no matter how much energy they threw at each other, nothing would be broken and your fragile state wouldn’t be further harmed. Light came back with many cuts and possible fractured bones in one of his wings. Where Dark was terribly burnt and covered in many bruises, sharing the same fate with broken ribs.  Those two were also out of commission for the day once Doc stitched them up. Or at least taking everything slow and keeping a distance from one another. Then there was Bing, who came home with a large gash in his leg. Google had helped him home but he too suffered a few broken wires from a fall off a very large ramp. Apparently trying to stop Bing from going down said ramp. “But Doc! It was built up the side of a building!” Bing protested when Dr. Iplier tsked and scolded the bot for his foolishness.  “It was a piece of artwork.” Google explained. “Made to allow the character Santa Claus to get off the apartment building more easily.”  “If Santa Claus gets to use that ramp, then so do I!” Bing snapped stubbornly. 

To say that Christmas was stressful was an understatement. It wasn’t uncommon for the egos to get into trouble or suffer injuries. But it was a time of year Doc wished they would at least try to be sensible. Or pretend to have common sense.  The house was a mess and loud with the Ipliers’ rukus. The only relief Dr. Iplier got from the house was when he came in to check on you. Dark had placed a barrier around your room to stop any noise from disturbing you. While Light embedded your bed with warmth to try and ease the pains you were currently suffering.  “The Host would like to suggest time away from the house.” Your temporary body-guard said with a tilt to his head. Indicating he was looking at Dr. Iplier and narrating his character. “Dr. Iplier feels the weight of many restless nights. Constant bickering and strain on his mind over his brothers safety. He could leave, and let them figure out their own precautions, or stay and keep them healthy. The Host would suggest this too. For he can tell that his friend is slowly falling into stress with the upcoming holidays.”  Dr. Iplier huffed a humorless laugh, easing you to sit up and take a drink of water. It was difficult for you to do it on your own. The world was spinning and occasionally you didn’t know the difference between left and right or up and down.  “If I leave, then this house would no doubt catch fire and our poor friend here would suffer that. Not to mention, where would I go?” He asked and Host lowered his “gaze” to settle on you. He could tell you were trying to say something, but your mind was too jumbled to speak.  But he could hear your voice, though you were unable to vocally say anything. His lips twitch up a little and Host excuses himself from the room. He hurries into Light’s room, which was always unlocked if someone wished to speak with him.  It took a moment but Host tried to speak as normally as he could. The Angel was still new to this house and Host didn’t want this to be misunderstood. “Host wishes to give Dr. Iplier his present early. The one (Y/N) and the other Ipliers have put into for the Doctor.”  Light eased off the bed as gingerly as he could without moving his wings too much. He grunted and held his side as he nodded towards his desk.  “Why? It’s not Christmas yet.” He said and Host looked around the room until his “sight” caught the description of the envelope.  “(Y/N) suggested we give Dr. Iplier his gift early. He is stressed and needs a break from the other Ipliers.”  Light hummed thoughtfully. Looking back over the last few weeks and only just realizing how much the Doctor had, not only been working at the office, but been taking care of the household.  The Angel smiled and nodded. “I think so too. Perhaps we should have given him a longer vacation. He hardly gets a break these days.”  Host agreed but said nothing as he hurried towards your room. His narration caught the irritation of Darkiplier as they both turned the corner towards your room. 

“I thought we were giving that to the Doctor on Christmas.” Dark said as he looked down at the envelope in Host’s hands. Host shrugged and explained what you had suggested. To which, Dark nodded. His own realization blooming.  “Perhaps it is best. I’ll tell the others.” Dark heads off as Host slipped into your room.  Dr. Iplier looked up, confusion coloring his face as Host handed him the envelope.  “What’s this?” He asked and Host only smiled, indicating for the Doctor to open it. When he did, his eyes widened and he stood from the bed.  “W-What? No! I can’t accept this. I have work. A-And I have to be here to look after-” “I’m sure we can handle a week or two without you Doctor.” Dark said as he opened the door to your room. He and Light stayed in the hall, but the rest of the Ipliers filed in. Looking a little sheepish but grinning broadly.  “Yeah, Doc. We’ll be fine. You’e definitely earned some time off.” Bim beamed. “Not to mention it’s in Wilford’s name so you could spend as much money as you like at the resort.”  “Go nuts, Doctor-Doo. Take vengeance for all the times you’ve had to clean up my little accidents.” Wilford said with a twitch of his mustache.  “You mean all the bullet holes you’ve stuck into me and Jim?” Jim grumbled, and his brother nodded in agreement. “Little accidents my ass.”  Doc didn’t know what to say. There was a pamphlet in the envelope and the resort looked beyond expensive, but very, very luxurious. He hesitated, unable to speak so Dark spoke for him.  “You’re going. I’m driving you there myself and when (Y/N)’s better, I’m sure they’d be dragging you into the reception.”  You managed a ‘yep’ to Dark’s words and everyone in the room chuckled.  “A-Alright, alright. I’ll accept it.” Dr. Iplier said with a shy, but excited grin. “But I am not coming home for anything other than death or emergencies.”  “We’ll try to behave.” Light replied with a smile. “Or at least, in our sense of behave.”  The rest of the group nodded. Smiling broadly and more then happy there friend was finally getting some well deserved rest.  “Now that’s done, do the rest of us get to open a present too?” Wilford asked with a childish whine to his tone. “At least one? The Doc got too.” “That seems fair!” Yandere chirped up. “I want to open a present from Senpai!”  Everyone looked at Yan suspiciously. This was never a good time when he had eyes for someone. And it was even worse if he had affections for an ego. “Wait, who’s your Senpai this week?” Jim asked and Yan pointed at his brother. Who paled and his eyes widened. “Oh god, please no. Is it because I let you wear my jacket? You said you were cold!”  Yan turned a dark red and looked down at the ground. “Y-You were really nice.”  Jim groaned and his brother patted him on the shoulder. Looking not at all sympathetic.  “Sucks to be you, Jim”  “Bite me, Jim.”  Light quickly stepped in and guided Yan out of the room. “One present each, ok? If I see anyone opening a second I will take all their presents away.”  There was chorus of groans and whines from the Ipliers as they shuffled out of the room. Leaving you, Host and Dr. Iplier in the empty space.  “Host would like to inform Dr. Iplier that it was (y/n)’s idea to get you a reservation. The others followed through with it.” Host said with a small smile before exiting the room to join the others.  Dr. Iplier smiled and touched your hand gently. Which you smiled and squeezed, letting go when the Doctor got up to join the others. He was excited to see Yandere’s reaction to Jim’s present.

[fmdtaeyongarchive]

Ash’s hair was a ruffled mess when he arrived to the filming room in the early morning as one of the first to film. He immediately earned a withering look from one of the staff, who muttered something under her breath he was too sleepy to hear. He’d gotten a few hours of sleep total since he’d arrived in Jeju, and had resorted to downing some sleep medication a few hours ago in the early morning hours. He tried not to rely on the medication prescribed due to his severe insomnia, afraid of becoming dependent on it, but lately, it’d been that or staying up all night feeling light-headed and in pain, so surrender had become unavoidable. The near nonstop schedules he’d had for the past year were clearly starting to take their toll on him, and it seemed more reasonable to take the sleep medication he already had than have to ask for pain medication too.

A staff pointed out his unfortunate hair and Ash used a mirror off to the side of the room to smooth it into something presentable before he was reluctantly okay’d to begin filming by someone who apparently had that authority.

“Can you... perk up a bit?” the same staff member asked and Ash wasn’t awake enough to be annoyed, instead squaring his shoulders farther back and resisting the urge to yawn. It was a pathetic attempt at complying, but she didn’t say anything else, so the interview began.

How were the concerts?

“There were difficulties,” Ash started, still groggy and slow to process the question, but trying his best. “But that’s all concerts, and I believe each concert got better night after night, so I’m proud of what everyone achieved together. There’s always room for improvement, so I hope to bring an even better performance to the fans next time.” Answers like this were easy; even half-asleep, Ash had had polite stock answers drilled into his brain for questions like this.

Which performance was your favorite to watch from the stage monitors backstage?

“I enjoyed King’s and Lipstick’s stages. Lipstick performed while I was getting ready for my stage with Mina-ssi, but I got to sneak a peak at the monitors to see their stage. They never disappoint. They’re a legendary group for a reason, and All Night and Holiday are fun to watch! And King-ssi? Ah, his stage presence is undeniable, isn’t it?” A grin appeared on his face that was a tad more shameless than he’d ever normally let himself be. He was (excessively) careful of mentioning Hansol in these interviews or appearing on camera with him too often, detesting the idea of their relationship becoming anyone else’s property, but letting the light in his eyes shine warmly as he praised his boyfriend this one time that most likely wouldn’t ever make it to air couldn’t hurt.

What city (outside of South Korea and Japan) do you hope you get to perform in next in a concert of this size?

“I think it’d be nice to get to visit my home town of San Francisco, but I know that’s not very likely, so we can go with Los Angeles, which is sort of close. That’s where I auditioned for BC, so it’d be full circle.” He’d have to figure out how to open a location-dependent warp in time by then, so he could go back in time and knock some sense into his younger self.

What was your favorite part of being a part of Idolized?

He hadn’t particularly enjoyed it at all, but he couldn’t say that. “I enjoyed getting to talk to and meet so many other idols.” Yeah, that would work.

With all the time spent with other idols during the show, did you make any new friends?

“It’s hard, you know, we’re so busy, even during filming, and I’m a more withdrawn person, so it wasn’t easy for me to put myself out there to meet new people, but I did make some new friends, I think.” The question seemed juvenile to Ash, something his parents would have asked him when he was a kid, but he supposed he had no room to judge what kind of commentary made good television.

What do your fans mean to you?

Here came another stock answer. “Armors are everything to me. I wouldn’t be here today without them.”

What does being an idol/celebrity mean to you, both in definition and how it’s affected you as person?

“Being an idol is something I think only those who have experienced it can understand.” Once his own words filtered to his brain, Ash outwardly flinched at how easily those words could be twisted if they were aired and he rushed to clarify. “Not that it’s special, but it is a very different profession from what most have. It really is my entire life, so it’s affected who I am as a person completely.” It’d changed him into someone who despised himself even more than others had made clear they despised him. “There’s no real way to express it fully.” Ash hoped his vague and boring answer was too uninteresting to make the cut, as he didn’t want to dwell on the question much longer.

What impact do you hope to have on your fans by the end of your career?

“I...” Ash hesitated. Usually, he viewed the approaching end of his career as a relief, each day that passed being one day closer to freedom. “I hope I was able to make at least one person feel like there’s someone out there who understands what they’re going through.“ Despite the sleep fogging his brain, Ash’s thoughts were the clearest they’d been the whole interview. “That’s what music did for me, and still does for me, and I want my music to be that for other people. I want to be someone who creates understanding through music. The world... it’s a hard place and understanding can be hard to come by. I want my music to be a safe place for someone to go to when everything seems dark.”

What is one thing you’d like to do or one achievement you’d like to obtain before the end of your career?

“I don’t think much about achievements. Knight has been so lucky to receive what we have, but personally, I find they’re not something I think much about personally.” Would that come off ungrateful? “Ah, I mean, I am thankful, but I focus more on how my music makes people feel than how it makes critics feel, I guess? Um, so my goals change based on what direction I feel naturally inclined toward at that time.“

[bloojayoolie]

Being Alone, Cats, and Children: Waiting for your loving arms at the Staten Island, NY ACC. Mickey 66992 Beware of Cute Dog Adxpt Me! So, this adorable little guy is Mickey the 10 yr young Yorkie cutie. He has been at SIACC before, time (therefore the Santa hat & scarf). Mickey the owner is 9 months pregnant & unable to have him with her at all times. You see little Mickey has separation anxiety (is on Fluoxetine for it) & needs a home where his special person is there most of the time. Mickey loves to play with his toys & is reported to be affectionate & playful, warms), attention seeking little guy that would prefer to be the only dog in his new home, the king of the castle to be spoiled rotten. How about it? Fall in love & take him to your home sweet home with you. Rescue-only due to his anxieties, meaning you have to apply with rescues to foster or adopt him. PLEASE, DO! adopted about 3 yrs ago around Christmas was was surrendered because pad trained & knows some commands. He is a social (once he wee **FOSTER or ADOPTER NEEDED ASAP** Mickey 66992... So, this adorable little guy is Mickey the 10 yr young Yorkie cutie. He has been at SIACC before, was adopted about 3 yrs ago around Christmas time (therefore the Santa hat & scarf). Mickey was surrendered because the owner is 9 months pregnant & unable to have him with her at all times. You see little Mickey has separation anxiety (is on Fluoxetine for it) & needs a home where his special person is there most of the time. Mickey loves to play with his toys & is reported to be affectionate & playful, wee pad trained & knows some commands. He is a social (once he warms), attention seeking little guy that would prefer to be the only dog in his new home, the king of the castle to be spoiled rotten. How about it? Fall in love & take him to your home sweet home with you. <3 Rescue-only due to his anxieties, meaning you have to apply with rescues to foster or adopt him. PLEASE, DO! Waiting for your loving arms at the Staten Island, NY ACC. <3 ✔Pledge✔Tag✔Share✔FOSTER✔ADOPT✔Save a life! Mickey 66992 Small Mixed Breed Sex male Age 10 yrs (approx.) - 16 lbs My health has been checked. My vaccinations are up to date. My worming is up to date. I have been micro-chipped. I am waiting for you at the Staten Island, NY ACC. Please, Please, Please, save me! **************************************** *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** If you would like to adopt a NYC ACC dog, and can get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process, you can contact the shelter directly. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) If you CANNOT get to the shelter in person and you want to FOSTER OR ADOPT a NYC ACC Dog, you can PRIVATE MESSAGE our Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs page for assistance. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST live in NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog. Transport is available if you live within the prescribed range of states. Shelter contact information: Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adopt@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 ************************************** NOTE: WE HAVE NO OTHER INFORMATION THAN WHAT IS LISTED WITH THIS FLYER. For a New Family to Know: Mickey is a fearful/excitable dog who is described as terrified with loud sounds - storms, fireworks, etc. Mickey loves to play with his toys and is reported to be affectionate and playful with humans, especially those who has a long term relationship with. He tends to follow his people around, and sleeps in the same room, in his own bed as his owners. He is house trained, uses wee-wee pads, but has been known to soil other places due to his separation anxiety when left alone. He also barks and whines when left to himself. He has never been left alone outside, but when is out, he likes to play fetch and tug. He is known to bark at sounds in the yard. He has been crate trained, but due to his anxiety it was not successful Mickey has some basic command knowledge, including: sit, come, down, stay, paw. He pulls lightly on his leash on his nightly walk, but always stays close to his owner. He eats dry food, which is left down and he eats at his leisure. Basic Information: Mickey was surrendered because the owner is 9 months pregnant and she is unable to have Mickey with her at all times. She is concerned about keeping him with a new baby on the way. Micky is an approx. 10 year old Small Mixed Breed (Yorkie) that the family had for the past three years. Previously lived with: Female (24 y) and her fiance Male (24 y) How is this dog around strangers? Mickey is described as being shy for the first few minutes around strangers but warms up and like to seek attention. How is this dog around children? Mickey is reported to be respectful around children. When playing he is described as being exuberant and friendly. How is this dog around other dogs? Mickey is NOT dog friendly or social. He tends to get very fearful around other dogs, growls and barks at them. How is this dog around cats? Mickey has not interacted with any cats in the past three years. There is no known history. Resource guarding: There is no known resource guarding as the owners never tried to take food or toys away, but Mickey has been known to quick snap when doing for treats from hand. Bite history: Mickey nipped 3 x in the past 3 years. 2.5 years ago he nipped another dog and also each of his owners in the hand not resulting in broken skin. House trained: Wee pads Energy level/descriptors: Fearful, excitable, anxious, with a high energy level Other Notes: Surrendering owner is pregnant and Mickey did not seem to appreciate or understand not being able to not climb on owner which caused jealous behaviors. Has this dog ever had any medical issues? Yes Medical Notes: On medicine (Fluoxetine) 10mg 2x daily for extreme separation anxiety. Behavior Notes: Upon intake Mickey was fearful in the lobby barked a little and growled at the microchip scanner and was hesitant on being leashed by the Care Center Specialist. He did not want to walk into the kennel, so his owner had to walk with him. He was visibly scared of the barking from other dogs. DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: 10 years History: owner surrender; was on fluoxetine per owner for separation anxiety Subjective: Observed Behavior - very tense, turned head quickly when tried to pick up, muzzled for exam Evidence of Cruelty seen - no Evidence of Trauma seen - no Objective BCS 5/9 EENT: OU-lenticular sclerosis, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: muzzled, limited oral exam, mild dental calculus seen PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, CRT < 2, Lungs clear, eupneic ABD: Very tense, difficult to palpate U/G: male neutered MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, approx 2 mm cutaneous mass on top of head, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Assessment: cutaneous mass- R/O cyst vs other Prognosis: good Plan: start trazodone 37.5 mg PO BID BEHAVIOR Summary: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: Mild Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Fearful, avoids Call over: Does not approach Handling Soft handling: Accepts contact, neutral Exuberant handling: Accepts contact, neutral Arousal Jog: Follows, neutral Knock Knock Comments: No response Toy Toy comments: No interest BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: New Hope Only Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13)/Single-pet home/No dog parks/Place with a New Hope partner. Recommendations comments: No children (under 13): Due to Mickey's overall timidity, we feel he would be best set up to succeed in an experienced adult only home. Place with a New Hope partner: Due to Mickey's overall discomfort he displays with strangers in the care center, we feel he would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner. Force-free, reward based training only is advised. Single pet/no dog parks: Due to Mickey's fearfulness of other dogs as well as his reported notes on growling and barking at them, out of an abundance of caution, we feel he would be best set up to succeed in a single pet home only. Potential challenges: Separation anxiety/risk of future aggression/On-leash reactivity/barrier frustration Potential challenges comments: In the care center and in his previous home environment, Mickey has been observed to growl and bark at other dogs. Please see handout on Leash Reactivity. Mickey is reported to experience extreme separation anxiety in his previous home environment, however no further details where provided on this. Please see handout on Separation Anxiety. ************************************** RE: ACC site Just because a dog is not on the ACC site does NOT necessarily mean safe. There are many reasons for this like a hold or an eval has not been conducted yet or the dog is rescue-only... the list goes on... Please, do share & apply to foster/adopt these pups as well until their thread is updated with their most current status. TY! ****************************************** About Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs: We are a group of advocates (NOT a shelter NOR a rescue group) dedicated to finding loving homes for NYC dogs in desperate need. ALL the dogs on our site need Rescue, Fosters, or Adopters & that ASAP as they are in NYC high-kill shelters. If you cannot foster or adopt, please share them far & wide. Thank you for caring!! <3 ****************************************** RESCUES: * Indicates New Hope Rescue partner is accepting applications for fosters and/or adopters. http://www.nycacc.org/get-involved/new-hope/nhpartners ****************************************** ++++ ++++ https://www.facebook.com/sishelterdogs/photos/a.215753245519955/338186926609919/?type=3&theater ++++ Beamer Maximillian Carolin Hocker Caro Hocker Susan Klingbeil United Yorkie Rescue Yorkie911 Rescue, Inc Gangs Of New Yorkie Heidi Walker

[whoneedssexed]

Just started a job and got to hanging out with a coworker that I had a crush on. Over time I realized that he has schizophrenia&horrible trust issues. Some things that have happened:1. Got us into a car accident that was totally his fault 2. Got sloppy drunk and started talking to the voices in his head 3. Gave me a letter w the header “don’t fuck with my trust”/ speaking aggressively about past experiences & wanting to trust me. I told him I didn’t appreciate the tone in the letter; he insis(1)

ted that I took it the wrong way and that he didn’t mean to threaten me. In person he tries hard to be respectful but I notice that he’s defensive. I feel bad for him bc he seems unable to express his feelings the right way. I’ve told him if he wants to get on my good side he has to stop drinking and see a therapist. He says he has stopped drinking but is still hesitant about therapy. He expresses some discomfort when I tell him he needs help; it reminds him of past experiences where girls (2)

“manipulated” him. He knows that I don’t want to hang out w him (unless it’s in a safe space) but insists on trying to date me/ doing things for me/hanging out/ getting me extravagant gifts. I explained that all I am is his friend and that I’m only gonna see him on my terms. His last text: “I respect that its gon take time. I didnt know u feel uncomfortable around me that really sucks ; n i good with that all i needs a chance.” I don’t know where to go from here. I’m going to be seeing him at(3)

I’m going to be seeing him at work. I do want to see him get better, but I don’t want him to treat me like a girlfriend/ hold resentment toward me for not doing things his way. Where do I go from here?

You’re allowed not to want to be his girlfriend, and to not want to be his personal therapist, or otherwise bear the brunt of his mental health issues. You don’t have to date anybody you don’t want to, and you’re allowed to prioritize your own mental health and needs.

However, this ask comes off as very ableist. 

It sounds more like you have a problem with his schizophrenia while he does not. And I don’t mean the “he’s in denial” sort of way, but that he’s not presenting any danger to others or himself, and you’re judging him based on his diagnosis and assuming he needs (additional) mental healthcare immediately because of it (I say additional because if he is officially diagnosed with schizophrenia then he is likely already receiving some healthcare for it or has previously been OK’d by a mental health professional). 

So far you’ve 1. implied his harmless symptoms are scary and in need of immediate changing (demanding he stop drinking because one time he was talking to himself), 2. implied you stopped being attracted to him when you found out his diagnosis and the fact he has a hard time trusting people based on previous abuse he experienced, 3. implied he was lying about or otherwise mistaken the abuse he has experienced at the hands of past friends and girlfriends, and 4. you seem to believe that he has no right to be suspicious of ableism as a neurodivergent person in general, let alone one who has told you directly that he has experience in people being unable to see past his diagnosis and being abusive to him because of it.

And I’m not sure how to explain it, but saying “for not doing things his way” leaves a sour taste in my mouth, like that this is all a matter of him being a whiny brat you’re going to have to break, rather than acknowledging that he literally functions different and is always going to regardless of how many healthcare providers you prescribe him.

Here’s a comic about schizophrenia and misconceptions. This post from a nurse at a mental health facility is also relevant, as it describes how stigmas about the mentally ill being dangerous over harmless symptoms directly contribute to their high rates of being victims of violence, and examples a schizophrenic resident.

Now that I’ve said that, here’s the important part: It’s not acceptable that he keeps trying to push you into a relationship, that much IS wrong. 

But it’s not a matter of his schizophrenia, and it is terrible for either one of you to imply that; schizophrenics may have difficulties expressing themselves but that does not make them inherently predatory nor unable to take no for an answer, and you laying the blame for this particular behaviour on his schizophrenia and his excusing his behaviour with “I have schizophrenia” (if that’s the excuse he’s been giving you) both do harm to neurodivergent people everywhere.

Be direct with him. Tell him exactly how you feel. Don’t dance around it or couch it with vague or nice language. If it IS a matter of miscommunication and misunderstanding, schizophrenia or not you eliminate that problem when you’re literal and clear about your feelings. You don’t need to be delicate, you need to be exact. 

People get that wrong every time with neurodivergent people, I guess because so many neurotypicals assume we’re like children; we don’t need you to sweeten your tongue and put things as softly as you can, like you would a toddler whose kitty just died. That just confuses us. You have to be direct and honest or we’ll never have a clue what you want or how you feel, and that’s a good path to problems.

(That’s not to say that it’s a one way street - everyone needs to be honest and clear about their feelings. Toxic relationships often start with assumptions, secrets, and trying to tolerate things that upset you.)

If it’s NOT a matter of miscommunication, then by being direct you will out his insincerity and disrespect. If he still keeps pushing when you’ve made it absolutely clear how you feel, then you can stop trying to spare his feelings or feeling sorry for him, because he’s showing he doesn’t have nearly half the same regard for you. 

He’s going to learn his behaviour is unacceptable one way or the other, either by realizing how much you dislike what he’s doing or by feeling your cold shoulder when he continues in spite of your feelings. 

And it may hurt. He may be mad at you. He may resent you. I mean, nobody likes being rejected. But if he’s worth anything, he’ll get over it and/or not let it dictate his behaviour further - that is, it’s fine and normal for him to be sad and even mad, but if he starts treating you badly because of it, that’s not okay (and you’d have a right to report him to your boss, too). 

- mod BP

[liziworldthing-blog]

1/6/17

I arrived at Baiyun airport about 2am on Friday morning, it took me over 24 hours to get here due to me wanting cheap ticket and also flight getting cancelled due to lots of smog in Beijing. I also had to pick up my luggages from Beijing and re-check in. It was really difficult to get from Terminal to Terminal to catch my rescheduled flight with two luggages. A mid-age man took my luggage and started walking me to my terminal. I was touched and thought he worked at the airport. However, after I reached my terminal, he asked for 20 dollars, stupid me was taken by surprise and asked “dollars or RMB?”, I was soooo tired. Later I realized, no matter what his answer was, it should have been RMB. I would never forget this encounter because I realize even if I am not at my 100%, I need to remain alert and clear-headed to do well in China. Ms Lin who I know from childhood picked me up from the airport with her husband and my dad and drove home.

The next morning, me and dad came to a dimsum place across the street to make sure I turn in my sexual harassment certificate for work (it’s very noisy although free wifi), I also contacted Martina to schedule for weekly check-in. Hopefully it all turns out ok and I don’t have to explain that I am in China. Later, we went to get a sim card for me, in China, you need a resident card/or passport to open one. $50 for 2G which is not bad, there’s also what is called an “idle hour” where some company offer extra data for hours used after 11pm. Researching for the best deal is prominent in china, we spent over an hour trying to find the best deal between mobile shops that are only a block away from each other. Attitudes of the servers are really bad and they would not disclose all the information, so it is up to someone to be inquisitive. Later, I was walking and twisted my ankle and didn’t think much about it and went to curl my hair at a local salon (from referral of the glasses place). They spent 3 hours on my hair and I intent to return to dye my hair the next day.

Dad and I scheduled to have dinner with mom’s best friend and her family at a fancy Chinese place. Very good food and super clean. They shared their trip in U.S with me very excitedly, and then we got on the topic of “what can Chinese residents invest in?”. According to her, policy can change within a day so it’s important to be extremely flexible. Stock market in china is shit and real estate policy changing all the time is making it a very volatile market. There were policies in which control people from buying too much, for example, if your first house is not paid off, you need to put 70% as down payment for your second house. Later, the real estate sank so the government revised it to 30%. These policies are all implemented within couple years. Also retirement age has suddenly extended from age 55 to 65 with no incremental steps (this is how we lead to investment).  Later, they saw that I was crippled and went to the hospital with me. It’s a specialty hospital for bones, anything after closing time is considered Emergency. I pretended to be their daughter and used their healthcare. Employer healthcare works as a % of salary, so the daughter has about $300 every month to be reimbursed towards healthcare. Scan was about a couple hundred and exam was about $70. It’s open work space for the doctors, then they exam and write notes. However, everyone can access them, so sometimes people cut in line or put their medical papers on their desk so they would see them first. They sent me to get an X-ray, radiologist was rude and asked me to “put whatever hurts onto the table”. Devices were outdated and dirty. Afterwards, the doctor looks at the scan and prescribe. Sometimes, you can request them to prescribe you certain medicine. Interesting Chinese healthcare system experience.

1/9

I am on my way to Shanghai by taking the GaoTie (the fast train). Was told by He MingChong’s dad that he will be going to YiWu, which is a wholesaler paradise. However, he’s driving there which takes two days. He suggested that I take the train and spend time with Mabel in Shanghai and then meet up with him on the way back. Train takes only 8 hours.

Want to log some thoughts about yesterday’s meeting with Vidas CEO, he was explaining the idea he has for America. In china, most cabinet/kitchen models are showroom only with no storage in the back. In America, it’s the opposite. It’s like a cabinet supermarket. People go in to literally touch and feel the cabinets and then buy them to go. He explains that it Is backwards and can cause strains to cashflow due to storage fees and cabinets that aren’t sold for a long time. However, he cannot enter the SF market abruptly and ignoring the way of doing things right now. In America, most Chinese Americans rely on their ShiFu (the ones doing the manual work for the furnishing) and pick their furniture piece by piece – so he is looking for partners. His goal is to work with design consulting companies and have them work with Vidas designers. He wants to provide team services to high end customers who wants to customize their kitchen. I didn’t learn much about business, but I did learn some customs of talking business in China. You take them out for food, order expensive dishes, and then take them to your territory, and you “drink tea”. Drink tea is so prominent, even when I am at someone’s house, we are constantly being poured tea. Vidas CEO was very soft spoken and attentive, which is good to know that you don’t need to be aggressive to do business in China. However, when I asked about how he started, he was very hesitant. And just repeated the mission of Vidas. I guess giving very little information to others is a skill of its own- so is repetition to drive home the point when you have nothing else to talk about.

Wechat is a big thing in china. You use it to pay, use it to order tickets, and it’s linked to your bank account. So when I tried to buy tickets, I wasn’t able to do so, and had to ask someone. The train station itself is also very complicated, would need an hour of buffer time. There’s restaurants on the train and security check in for bags. It’s almost Chinese new year in china, which means lots of stealing because lots of non-mainlanders are trying to bring something back home. I was told not to sleep on the 8 hour train!

I went to visit He MingChong’s house. Real estate is another big thing in China. My dad told the story of how we were about to immigrate, so was gonna sell the house for 200k, however, now it’s worth over 2 million. The house He MingChong bought in 2005 was one million, now it’s 10 million. It’s a 3 story house in Pang Yu. Then we drove to ShunDe to eat fish. They catch the fish from the pond and slice them and hot pot it. We also went to a restaurant with Monogolian Bao, and bought some lamb skewers which were very good. You can see plenty of mountains running through China on the train, it’s quite untouched and pretty.

1/11/17

Bought my last minute ticket to Shanghai and took a 8 hour train ride and arrived at Shanghai. Mabel picked me up and we went for a dinner at a fusion Hongkongnese place in a fancy mall. I ordered an angel hair pasta and she ordered a duck risotto. Then we went to her place which is next to the Xing Hai Music school. Her neighbor is applying for the music school so you hear piano sometimes. Her place is small, but her room is quite tidy. We had good talks about life at night and about the despair we feel about the economy and guys in china. The next day, we had shanghai breakfast at a hole in the wall, and I sent her to her work at The Economist. I went to the famous temple and garden in Shanghai and took a walk next to the water and found a cute café to rest my feet. At night, we went into the wrong restaurant and had vegetarian food. We talked about her love life, and her fear of not liking it when she knows a guy likes her and that she can’t tell the difference between friendship and love.

I bid her goodbye at 7am this morning and took the train to Yi Wu, where I spent half the time resting my feet and half the other time browsing the wholesale goods. There are an incredible amount of merchandise from sporting goods (where I bought a pair of shoes) and accessories and toys, etc. There are 5 districts, I only had time for 2. Basic idea is you buy in bulk, sometimes small items wholesale at 1000 pc, and sometimes at a dozen. Drones can whole sale at 18 pcs, at 300rmb each. Later, I met up with He MingChong’s dad and his coworker, who has a stake in the company. He is running a second factory, where he shares his shares with his employees. We then went to visit the VP of a company who showed us the storage of bikes that he has in stock and went to eat dinner. Dinner conversations are good, and he is very knowledgable. Making “things” smart is a very common wish for the products, I guess tech is not caught up yet. Again, the reoccurring theme of service economy kept coming up. He was saying how with scooters, someone came to him and said he will change the batteries for the elderly using the disability mobiles. Also, it is confirmed that virtual business is no longer the hot market, and many are looking elsewhere. At night, I had talks with the dad and conversed about how everyone in Shanghai is a business man, but bc the environment in china doesn’t encourage it, everyone is trying to scam someone or escape tax.

1/14/17

First, I need to record about the last bits of the journey with He Ming Chong daddy’s journey. He was telling me about how from placing an order to getting a payment for an order usually takes up to 60 days. Between factories and factories, for example, if HeMingChong’s daddy gets an order from a client, they would start making the stuff without the client’s payment. However, in manufacturing, they would need to order from another manufacturer. Therefore, if the other manufacturer does not give them the stuff in time, they cannot turn over to the client. And even if they turn over the stuff to the client, the client would procrastinate in making the payment. (Bosses are happy when employees are able to drag it out in payment, perhaps due to cashflow?) Therefore, it’s extremely difficult for small manufacturers to function. Because they need to pay others to make stuff or spend money on making their own product, and then because the client doesn’t pay them yet, they might end up having to spend lots of time in the negatives. I asked what if the products malfunction, they say then the client will drag out the payment even longer. This is not a good practice, but it has been the standard of doing business in China.

The next day, I was able to get together ten-ish elementary school friends at Mann Café, a very cute, wooden furniture coffee place. The teacher also came. We had some conversations about what we are doing as a job. Some are doing design, some are doing 文工，some in marketing, some in event planning. There was this girl who wants to explore the world by going to Australia…however, I don’t think you can explore the world with a boyfriend. And also she did not plan on when yet, she just wants to “play”. I think that is a quite naïve and without purpose. At night, there was this other guy who joined us, he partnered with his ex-coworkers in opening a wig shop. Mostly retail model. A lot of the “bosses” in China have the same look. Slick black jacket, the habit of smoking, the low voice talking, the need to drink, the opening of the topics in a very casual way, the sit-back posture. Someone was telling me about how local Cantonese people are conservative compared to out of the province. The “foreigners” are more willing to take out a loan to start a business, whereas locals want to build a foundation and work a full time job to buy a house. However, once you buy a house, because the houses are so unaffordable, the chances of you doing other things are limited. Especially when the marriage age in china is so low. Your life is basically spent at one job, at one place, paying for one house, working for someone else’s dream at a very young age without having the options to explore. With millennials sharing the same type of “lifestyle” (eg. Only working at the same company for little more than a year), Chinese young working class have it very hard. I wonder where the young working classes look for inspirations? Foreign books? Foreign talk shows? What about their local resources. I went on a date with Wu Jiaoyang today at Grandma’s House at this shopping mall near my house, food was good and we chatted about her life at Chicago for two years, and how she wants to return. She studied Economy as a master student at Illinoise-Champagne. Same place that Jayson went for Psychology. She also informed me that personal statement business is popular, especially for students whose grades aren’t that good and family want to send them aboard to study, they won’t have the ability to write it themselves. If they contact some middle agency, it’s going to cost more. Later on, we went to a bookstore – I really enjoy the coffee shops here. Very nice.

1/24/17

I am at 海底捞 waiting for my number to be called, it’s been two hours. There are nails and snacks in front of the restaurant while you wait. I think it’s the service that people are buying in. I did something stupid earlier, when they led me in and gave me a table, it was a small table and I didn’t ask for a regular table for 6 people. I didn’t consider that there would be food and then there would be no space. I then later on asked for a bigger table, but they said there was none. Foreseeing consequences. I still need to work on it.

I went to Kayla’s wedding thing on 20th-23rd. It was quite a stressful time. Kerwin’s mom was the planner but was for some reason, very reluctant to share the logistics of the wedding – when asked, she would say just wait till rehearsal the next day. However, there was details that she was telling me that was unable to connect or don’t make sense. She was putting on a wedding that looks good on the surface but chaotic at the end. We didn’t have enough bridesmaid or groomsman until the very end. It was a very good looking wedding with traditional Chinese decorations and outfits. There were these VIP rooms that were filled with smokes and alcohol, guessing it was the government officials.

1/29/17

The next couple days when I come back, it was mostly seeing relatives. I also got to see my brother (elementary school friend) and his friends for the Escape Room and karaoke. It was lots of fun. The escape room wasn’t complicated or difficult, but it was just too many people and hard to get close to the clues. But it was huge and well decorated. My brother and his gf gave me a Pandora necklace, I was wayyy surprised. Even my blood related brother didn’t even care to do so. I went shopping with Auntie Jingjing the next day, and got a good idea of how much clothing costs here. I also went to play toy picking machine with another elementary school friend and got a lot of toys. I learned how to strategically pick toys. The business thoughts are less prominent now, I think I am a bit discouraged by the complication of doing business in China. I think I am also slowly discouraged by how troublesome Execly was, and limiting my imagination to very limited scope.

NOTES:

Shopping List for when I come back:

-couple bottles of wine and brand bag for Auntie Jing Jing and Bachong uncle

-running shoes for Brother and his gf

Ideas: dash cam, shoes, bras, university vlog

[bloojayoolie]

Apparently, Cats, and Children: Rocky 63299... 3 years old, just 10 lbs, waiting for your loving arms at the Brooklyn, NY ACC Adopt Me FOR A New Family To Know: Rocky is described as friendly, confident, & fearful. He loves to follow his special person around, play with toys & balls & will play fetch. He is wee-pad & crate trained, enjoys going for walks, & is leary of strangers, would do best in an adult-only new home. At the shelter, he is coming around, letting handlers pick him up, pet him& he even solicits their attention. All this little nugget needs is a chance to show what a good little guy he can be. Give him time to adjust & decompress & watch him blossom. Rescue-only due to his nervousness, meaning you have to apply with rescues to foster or adopt him. PLEASE, DO! Apply now to save his life! **FOSTER or ADOPTER NEEDED ASAP** Rocky 63299... 3 years old, just 10 lbs, waiting for your loving arms at the Brooklyn, NY ACC. FOR A New Family To Know: Rocky is described as friendly, confident, & fearful. He loves to follow his special person around, play with toys & balls & will play fetch. He is wee-pad & crate trained, enjoys going for walks, & is leary of strangers, would do best in an adult-only new home. At the shelter, he is coming around, letting handlers pick him up, pet him & he even solicits their attention. All this little nugget needs is a chance to show what a good little guy he can be. Give him time to adjust & decompress & watch him blossom. Rescue-only due to his nervousness, meaning you have to apply with rescues to foster or adopt him. PLEASE, DO! Apply now to save his life! VIDEO: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LufORtsro3I ✔Pledge✔Tag✔Share✔FOSTER✔ADOPT✔Save a life! Rocky 63299 Small Mixed Breed Sex male Age 3 yrs (approx.) - 10 lbs My health has been checked. My vaccinations are up to date. My worming is up to date. I have been micro-chipped. I am waiting for you at the Brooklyn, NY ACC. Please, Please, Please, save me! **************************************** *** TO FOSTER OR ADOPT *** If you would like to adopt a NYC ACC dog, and can get to the shelter in person to complete the adoption process, you can contact the shelter directly. We have provided the Brooklyn, Staten Island and Manhattan information below. Adoption hours at these facilities is Noon – 8:00 p.m. (6:30 on weekends) If you CANNOT get to the shelter in person and you want to FOSTER OR ADOPT a NYC ACC Dog, you can PRIVATE MESSAGE our Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs page for assistance. PLEASE NOTE: You MUST live in NY, NJ, PA, CT, RI, DE, MD, MA, NH, VT, ME or Northern VA. You will need to fill out applications with a New Hope Rescue Partner to foster or adopt a NYC ACC dog. Transport is available if you live within the prescribed range of states. Shelter contact information: Phone number (212) 788-4000 Email adopt@nycacc.org Shelter Addresses: Brooklyn Shelter: 2336 Linden Boulevard Brooklyn, NY 11208 Manhattan Shelter: 326 East 110 St. New York, NY 10029 Staten Island Shelter: 3139 Veterans Road West Staten Island, NY 10309 ************************************** This animal came from: Friend Basic Information: Rocky is an approx 3 year old black and tan small male dog that was surrendered to BACC due to his behavior. Owner had Rocky for just one week and did not take him to the vet during that time. Previously lived with: 2 adults 3 children How is this dog around strangers? Rocky will bark and growl at them. How is this dog around children? Rocky has lived with 3 children for a week and was described as fearful. Rocky would snap at the 2 year old, and would bark at the 5 and 6 year old children. Rocky was kept separate from them for the majority of the week. How is this dog around other dogs? Rocky has not lived or been around other dogs, it is unknown how he would behave. How is this dog around cats? Rocky has not lived or been around cats, it is unknown how he would behave. Resource guarding: Rocky's owner has not attempted to move his food, treats, or toys away so it is unknown whether he resource guards. Bite history: Rocky has nipped the owner and their partner on 5/14/19 Housetrained: Wee pads yes Energy level/descriptors: high Other Notes: Rocky has not been given a bath, had his nails trimmed, or his coat brushed, it is unknown how he would behave. Rocky would bark when someone unfamiliar approaches the house or family member. ENERGY LEVEL: Rocky has been observed to exhibit a medium level of energy during his interactions in the care center. SAFER ASSESSMENT: BEHAVIOR: Summary: Leash Walking Strength and pulling: No pulling Reactivity to humans: None Reactivity to dogs: None Leash walking comments: Sociability Loose in room (15-20 seconds): Neutral-soft body, tail wagging, explores room, checks in with handlers, approaches handlers, accepts contact Call over: Approaches readily, soft and loose Sociability comments: Handling Soft handling: Soft body, leans into handler, closed mouth, slow tail wags, accepts all contact Exuberant handling: Soft body, leans into handler, closed mouth, slow tail wags, accepts all contact Handling comments: Arousal Jog: Follows handler, soft and loose Arousal comments: Knock Knock Comments: Vocalized once when assistant knocks; Does not approach assistant when she enters, stays near handler Toy Toy comments: Grips and moves away IN SHELTER OBSERVATIONS: Rocky was at the front of the kennel, crying and displaying soft, loose and wiggly body language when the handler approached. He was able to be roped and brought outside for his interaction without any issue. The handler was able to clip a leash to his collar and Rocky began to explore the pens. After relieving himself, Rocky followed the handler and solicited attention by jumping up softly and leaning into the handlers legs. When the handler crouched down, Rocky continued to lean into the handler and accepted all contact. The handler introduced a tennis ball to Rocky, with which he began to jump up and vocalize when it was bounced. Rocky engaged with the ball for a few minutes, before returning to the handler and soliciting attention. Rocky remained soft and loose throughout his interaction. After his interaction, the handler was able to place a rope around Rocky and return him to his kennel without any issue. ENERGY LEVEL: Rocky has been observed to exhibit a medium level of energy during his interactions in the care center. DVM Intake Exam Estimated age: Reported 3 years Microchip noted on Intake? Positive - 981020017563829 Subjective: BARH, snapping, lunging, hard barking, flailing against lead. Used towel and thick gloves to pick up, soft muzzle placed. Once on table with towel restraint and muzzle, he was still for most of exam/medical treatments (went very slow) but did try to snap a few times. Evidence of Cruelty seen - none Evidence of Trauma seen - none Objective P = 112 bpm R = panting BCS = 5/9 EENT: Eyes clear, ears clean, no nasal or ocular discharge noted Oral Exam: Limited - clean adult incisors PLN: No enlargements noted H/L: NSR, NMA, Lungs clear, eupnic ABD: Very tense, non painful, no masses palpated U/G: Male, two scrotal testicles MSI: Ambulatory x 4, skin free of parasites, no masses noted, healthy hair coat CNS: Mentation appropriate - no signs of neurologic abnormalities Rectal: Externally normal Assessment: Apparently healthy Plan: Start trazodone 5 mg/kg PO BID indefinitely for shelter anxiety SURGERY: Okay for surgery BEHAVIOR DETERMINATION: NHO Behavior Asilomar TM - Treatable-Manageable Recommendations: No children (under 13)/Place with a New Hope partner/Recommendations comments: No children (under 13): Due to Rocky's overall level of fear with the potential for defensive aggression, handling sensitivity and history, we feel he would be best set up to succeed in an adult only home at this time. Place with a New Hope partner: Although he has shown some improvement and displays social behavior with certain staff members, Rocky remains fearful in the care center and is hesitant to interact at times. We feel he would be best set up to succeed if placed with an experienced rescue partner who can allow him to acclimate and decompress at his own pace. Force-free, reward based training only is advised when introducing or exposing Rocky to new and unfamiliar situations. Potential challenges: Handling/touch sensitivity/Fearful/potential for defensive aggression. Potential challenges comments: Handling/touch sensitivity: Rocky exhibits handling sensitivity during his interactions in the care center, observed on multiple occasions. Rocky has been observed to rapidly escalate to barking, lunging and snapping toward handlers when uncomfortable. Please refer to the handout on Handling/touch sensitivity. Please refer to the handout on fearful/potential for defensive aggression. ... NOTE: *** WE HAVE NO OTHER INFORMATION THAN WHAT IS LISTED WITH THIS FLYER *** ... RE: ACC site Just because a dog is not on the ACC site does NOT necessarily mean safe. There are many reasons for this like a hold or an eval has not been conducted yet or the dog is rescue-only... the list goes on... Please, do share & apply to foster/adopt these pups as well until their thread is updated with their most current status. TY! ****************************************** About Must Love Dogs - Saving NYC Dogs: We are a group of advocates (NOT a shelter NOR a rescue group) dedicated to finding loving homes for NYC dogs in desperate need. ALL the dogs on our site need Rescue, Fosters, or Adopters & that ASAP as they are in NYC high-kill shelters. If you cannot foster or adopt, please share them far & wide. Thank you for caring!! <3 ****************************************** RESCUES: * Indicates New Hope Rescue partner is accepting applications for fosters and/or adopters. http://www.nycacc.org/get-involved/new-hope/nhpartners ****************************************** ++++ ++++ ++++ Beamer Maximillian Carolin Hocker Caro Hocker Heidi Walker Susan Klingbeil Yorkie911 Rescue, Inc Gangs Of New Yorkie United Yorkie Rescue