#bbbuh

[princenothinq]

bbbuh

[histrionicwh0re]

Aww , such a good pup .

Even in public ? Even around family ? Stay true to your words darling 🧡

+ 🕸

mmhm, Ive done both of these b44!!!

sometimes in front of my fam when were playin xbox games, I jus cant help but to mindlessly play wif myself under the covers and hold the controller to myself when it vibrates @w@

bbbuh, I purposely asked my ddada before to play wif me in public and I was so wet in the bus ride home @@ I was touchin myself from under my skirt on the bus in front of all the other kids ><

I can give u picctures anytime u want too!! I'll drop everything to show off for uuuuuuuu!!!!!

[glitchy-grump]

Bbbuh these guys are so silly [silly]

[unluckyservice4]

Bbbuh 💤💤💤💤💤💤💤 naappies

You're just sleeping on my shoulder aren't you?

[wyldblunt]

viper squad ranked on who sings best, who sings loudest and who most often gets the lyrics right

you're so smart for making these three different categories

BEST SINGER:

donner: he learned to sing well on purpose because it's an easy way to score at bars. he does enjoy it for real though

daimhin: NOT into singing or merriment (frivolity!!!) but if she ever did sing she would have a reasonably nice voice

damage: okay so singing........ like "singing?" like notes in tune? that's not happening. she's REALLY good at screaming though

merrit: directly from marina: "ohhh, last. because at least damage has passion. even if you're not hitting the notes you have to LIVE it. merrit just wants to get out of there"

LOUDEST SINGER:

damage: she is going to be the loudest person in the room regardless of what's going on, frankly

donner: confident! projects well! WANTS you to be paying attention to him! why wouldn't he be loud

daimhin: probably not a ton of volume but if they were to sing they would probably be hitting the enunciation clearly enough that like. you can def hear them

merrit: if he is in a situation where he is being forced to sing he hopes to fucking god nobody can hear him

MOST ACCURATE LYRICS:

daimhin: again, does not really sing, but if they DID they would probably have a full printout of the song held up directly in front of their face which they are very intently singing off of

donner: he knows a lot of songs, again mostly picked up from bars. he'll add little flourishes of his own or change the lyrics to flirt with listeners pretty regularly

merrit: the second he starts fumbling any lyrics it is immediately just going to devolve into that mumbling thing where you're kind of going "bbbuh buh muh dah dah duh" to the tune of the song instead of actually saying anything

damage: she is probably just screaming. but if there is an opportunity to twist the lyrics of a song she knows to something wildly obscene and offensive she is going to do that, and she is going to do it shockingly quickly. queen of improv

[chicken-dad]

you saying “i don’t think he wants that” MEANS YOU DO AND THE ONLY THING STOPPING YOU IS HIM AHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAAAA I KNEW IT YOURE GAY FOR DOC UNC

Wh- no that's not. mmmm. not what I meant. I'm not even gay- bbbuh.

[trinketbug]

Bbbuh… DCA lady of the shard au

[cyanpeacock]

OK I am full of rage and confusion and exhausted indifference. I've been awake like 2 hours and my brain has done very little but bombard me with "Kill yourself. Why don't you kill yourself. Hey! Have you considered suicide recently? Kill yourself!"

my Conscious Self(?) is here like. dude, what the fuck.

brain, i'm really trying here. i have Plans for the Future. a degree, and suchlike. none... of that will Happen if we do An Suecyde.

god it's angermaking and confusioning and i KNOW. i KNOW. Just Take Your Mind Off It. i TRIED. i read Other Things. i did Other Stuff. it keeps getting in there and being a fuck bastard. so i presume i'm supposed to Talk About It?

still, what's the deal, brain. i mean, like, the Deal is BPD. i want to be Magically Cured, i am not, i'm in recovery, i am aware of improvements, and i am aware that lots of this Stuff doesn't just Vanish Overnight.

talking abt it. is a Good Thing. ppl have told me (more or less) Just Shut Up About It And It Will Go Away. and... maybe this works for them? but it does not work too great for me, if The Thing is repeatedly reinserting itself into my mind despite efforts to distract and refocus.

so why... brain do this thing.

uh, well, anxiety and panic, which keeps Busting Out and i keep slamming a lid on it and it's ineffective and unpleasant and my brain is still struggling with the concept of an emotion Not Lasting Forever. although they do. but they don't. disgusting.

habit, to a degree? i have been Rather Suicidal for a Considerable Amount Of Time. it is, uh, a couple of months since my last Attempt(tm).

ok, wow, and dissociation. yeah, i forgot i tried to die that recently. time... is weird. fluid entity, except, it's kind of linear. fuck.

there's this weird guilt and shame about repeatedly failing to Actually Die? like, what the hell, man. two fears of the unknown meet in a deserted field and completely fail to annihilate each other. ok.

hostility, because i'm aware people tried to help me w/ my fuckarooney emotions, then got pissed when nothing seemed to work? which, you know, that feels like a personal attack when you literally cannot help the way you feel, nobody can. so, what, do i be grateful they tried, or pissed because they hurt me/gave up on me? both?? that's fucking complicated???!

man, ok, ok. so, i have a History(tm) of emotional invalidation as a kid. what... does that do. oh my god, this is like, hell revision. okay. okay.

so, routine emotional invalidation as a kid, leaves that kid with a sense that if they're feeling certain emotions, they're Bad and Wrong and Ought To Be Punished/Ended/Dead.

and, uh, because of my Personal Experience(tm), i tend to get in a loop where... i'm really upset for some reason that might seem inconsequential to somebody else, and then bc people have reacted to my intense sadness with anger So Often, i learned That's How You Deal With Being Upset. You Get Angry And Rough.

so... i go sad-angry-sad-angry-sad-angry infinite loop. which, yeah, that's self-intensifying to a point where my brain ultimately goes... Time To Die This Is Unbearable.

jfc, it takes so much Time and so much Mental Focus to talk myself through this, but i know if i don't then the next bender or A&E trip or OD is That Much Sooner, and i would like to try and get to a point where this isn't Happening Every Focking Day, or i at least get some kind of used to it.

so, ok, right. i gotta... do that, assuming my own perspective again, and validate myself, and say yeah, that was emotional neglect and abuse that had me self-harming and suicidal so young. those patterns of thought and behaviour r stubborn and don't dissolve overnight. i am and always have been doing my best. i am an emotional person, and i've been attacked for that, although i can't change that, and it was and is hurtful to be accused of exaggerating/being melodramatic/etc when i literally just Feel So Fucking Much.

ok. ok. not as immediately suicidal any more. other emotions to Figure Out tho, but that's another post

[sodapopbuoy]

Bbbuh Loki my beloved,,,

[mossychaos]

Yall ever think about the bbbuh the ghost on your blogs

[tinybunnygirl]

me : bababa aa!! nnn...bbbuh!

daddy : yes i completely agree

[juiciestbug]

bbbuh cant do gym cause i get too excited and play to much and then my limbs hurt for like 3 and a half days this sounds like an autism thing not gonna lie but gaga ball was FUN as HELL

[librius]

bbbuh. my legs hurt

[kerbrobro]

bbbuh I don’t want to have to go to an Easter thing with my family tomorrow. It’s not that my family sucks or anything, but now that I’m working all my weekend time feels so much more valuable.

[campyvillain]

*sniffel* *buh* *cough* sigh. you are beyond help and i will be disposeing of you POSTHASTE! buh buh! bbbuh

Dr bald balls will see you now

[roses-bubbles]

bbbuh don’t know, honestly school sucks and im tired of it already

(psst love u too!!!!)

I mean understandable, it does suck