#batcatjokes

[alenseress]

And if I gave up on being pretty

I wouldn't know how to be alive

[all-dead-rock-show]

“batjokes better” “batcat better” why not both? all at once?

[bitsofbats]

Batman (Volume 3) #49 - The Best Man, Finale; 2018

Tom King, Mikel Janín, and June Chung

[batenjoyer]

batman/catwoman covers

[fractualized]

Rating: Explicit Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply Category: Multi Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics) Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Selina Kyle, Joker (DCU)/Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne, Joker (DCU)/Selina Kyle/Bruce Wayne Characters: Bruce Wayne, Selina Kyle, Joker (DCU) Additional Tags: Comic: Batman/Catwoman Vol. 1 (2021), Dreams, Sexual Repression, Restraints, Cuckolding, Vaginal Fingering, Cunnilingus, Dominatrix, Flogging, Degradation, Object Penetration, Anal Sex, Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Selina and Joker switching, Submissive Bruce, writing Joker having sex with a woman in this year of our lord 2024 Summary: When Bruce's pursuit of Selina and Joker bleeds into his dreams, he makes discoveries he didn't expect.

In the aftermath of @distort-opia's "a detective's mind is unrelenting," I joked that Bruce would have a terrible nightmare about Selina and Joker, and tort pressed me on what that dream might be, and here we are. Another win for peer pressure!

Mind the tags, as usual.

[blupenguinz]

Is it bad that I’m un-ironically shipping BatCatJokes now?

[frosting-surfeit]

DISTORTOPIA BATCATJOKES REALLLL?????!???!????

me for the past week: just finish the deadly duo smut sequel just finish the deadly duo smut sequel just FINISH THE DEADLY DUO SMUT--

midnight goblins: so hear me out. what if you wrote 2.5k words in pretentious second person about that one scene in Batman/Catwoman (2021) where Bruce and Selina have sex but Bruce says the apartment smells like Joker so clearly he'd been thinking of Joker that whole time

me: understood. of course. have a good day

[psalmsofpsychosis]

This town, this stain on the sunrise Disguised in the mist, this morning. It's 8 AM, a seagull shouts A sailor's warning, this sky.

This bend in the river Slows down and delivers me The tide rolls back And all my memories fade to black.

And yet, And yet... I'm back

This town has a strange magnetic pull Like a homing signal in your skull And you sail by the stars of the hemisphere Wondering how in the hell did you end up here?

It's like an underground river or a hidden stream That flows through your head and haunts your dream And you stuffed those dreams in this canvas sack And there's nothing round here that the wide world lacks.

And yet, And yet... You're back

Some night I'd lie on the deck and I'd stare At the turning of the stars Those constellations hanging up there From the cables and the rigging

I wonder if she saw the same or managed to recall my name Why would she ever think of me, some boy she loved who fled to sea? And why waste time debating Whether she'd be waiting for the likes of me?

So you drift into port with the scum of the seas To the dance halls and the brothels where you took your ease! And the ship's left the dock, but you're half past caring And you haven't got a clue whose bed you're sharing.

And your head's like a hammer on a bulkhead door And it feels like somebody might have broken your jaw And there's bloodstains and glass all over the floor And you swear to god ye'll drink no more.

And yet, And yet... In truth It's too late to find her

Too late to remind her at some garden gate Where a servant tells me I should wait And perhaps a door's slammed in my face My head must be in outer space.

And yet, And yet Before the sun has set Before the sea there may be something else That's waiting for the likes of me.

[mrsegbert]

Batcatjokes save me

Batcatjokes

Save me batcatjokes

[kittywoofwoof64]

*Catwoman throws one of her weapons*

Catwoman: Hey Bats, could you get that for me?

Batman: uhh okay..

*He bends over to pick it up*

Catwoman and joker: GODDAYUM *whistles

Selina: oh hey what are you doing here clown?

Joker: just doin the same as you--admiring the view.. byt the way, I heard you wanted a new suit. I think I can get you a better one, along with some baddass electric whips. I'll convince Lexie babe to make it.

Selina: oo keep talking- BATMAN I THINK I DROPPED ONE OF MY EARRINGS BY THAT PIPE OVER THERE!

Batman:ok

Joker: Kitty kitty you never seem to disappoint even if I hate you sometimes *quickly snaps photos*

Batman: WHAT THE HELL SELINA!!??

Selina: sorry..actually no I'm not sorry, joker could you send that to me-you have my number right?

Joker: uhuh, yep!......Dont mind us batsy we're just a couple of pervs needing our daily fix....say how about we all go to your batcave and have ourselves a mingling? CatBatandClown sandwhich ;)

Batman:.....

Selina: well he didn't say no.

Joker: Let's go then * takes both Bats and Cats hands and skips to the batmobile

Batman: this is so unhinged *literally is driving th batmobile to batcave*

[alenseress]

Mock cover

[sheriffclownkins]

batcatjokes is a good ship actually; joker just has to have the energy of a really high chihuahua. he's their poor little meow meow. just a pathetic little guy.

base images:

[yandere--stuck]

Hhhrnrnr yandere dc polyships,,,,,

Yandere batjarley, yandere batcatjokes, yandere batcatriddles, yandere lexclois ...........

[orderxchaos]

First batcatjokes now steddy hands

[fractualized]

WIP meme

Rules: Make a new post with the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous and tag other people. People can ask about the title(s) that most intrigues them!

@distort-opia Fine, I'll expose the stupid number of WIPs I'd like to get to one day after the mpreg fic. 😭

I did talk about the starred (*) ones already for a previous WIP meme. (Nice to see some on the old list are real fanfic boys now!) The current list is still mostly batjokes but uhhhh the first two are obvious tells that I have some other stuff on my mind.

Jeevesjokes

Short jeevesjokes

V.2 UC Joker

Top Joker

Telltale- no party/Arkham attack

Random ideas

Project JW

Pulp Fiction homage

Dark telltale 2*

Grudge Match sequel

Under Control

batcatjokes

knife companion

Midnight Run Sequel Notes

Sad amnesiac fic

Dark Telltale 3

Twiddler 4

Victimology

joker passed around

Deadly Duo

Dark Timeline- revised

A Good Day for Joker (working title)

No capes chem AU

Dating Denial

interrogation rules*

Bruce Octopus*

Conservatorship

NUGB-1

strip-search

Inter-Universe

Henchman

Tagging @battybrownboo, @batsyx, and @darkpurpledawn, if they'd like to participate.

[fractualized]

He finds out and he's so mad and he has a terrible, terrible nightmare where they invite him to join and it's awful, truly just terrible, really gets his blood rushing

Joker and Selina should fuck simply because Bruce's reaction would be priceless

Fully agreed, was just talking to @fractualized about that. It'd explode Bruce's brain and for that alone it's totally worth it.