#basically there are no internet towers where i live
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i wanna get south park dvds which season/s are the best in yalls opinion ??
#south park#sp fandom#my hyperfixation is coming back i think#dvds >> streaming#i love having like an actual physical item instead of just watching it on like netflix haha#i have a serial experiments lain dvd and its one of my favorite things i own#and when you have the disc you can just put it in any dvd player !!#like you can have a portable one or one that connects to the tv#i think its pretty cool#dvd#i never had streaming services growing up bc i didnt have internet#basically there are no internet towers where i live#so my family has to use the mobile hotspot on ur phone lmao#ik it sounds a little sad but honestly?#i was thriving on my little pony adventures in the crystal empire#mini rant#haha
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— EMBARASSING THINGS THEY DID IN THE PAST : twisted wonderland
[synopsis] embarassing things they did when they were younger that now haunt them whenever they are trying to sleep
[characters] deuce, cater, trey (+chenya), leona, ruggie, jack, malleus
[extra] my last 3 posts are literally so unserious, so here's another one, for the funsies (ily guys)
★﹕DEUCE SPADE
When he was in elementary school, he would chat with his friends while waiting for his mom to come pick him up and take him home. That particular day, his mom was late, and 6-year-old Deuce freaked out. He was convinced that his mom didn't love him anymore, and that's why he wouldn't pick him up—that he was going to be homeless and would have to live on the streets in a cardboard box. He even started crying, which made his friends cry. They started saying goodbye to Deuce because how were they going to see him again if his mom wouldn't bring him to school?
Anyways, his mom came to pick him up 10 minutes later.
★﹕CATER DIAMOND
Back then when he actually tried to make friends whenever he moved schools, he had a huge crush on one of his classmates. One day, he overheard his crush talking about how they "would love to be with someone who loves nature as much as them". Cater wanted to impress his crush so badly that he made a Magicam post with him posing next to random trees and captioned it with "I love nature so much omg😍".
The photo is still out there on the internet because he forgot the password for the account, and the idea of someone from NRC finding the account terrifies him.
★﹕TREY CLOVER (+CHENYA)
Another one that takes place in elementary school. Trey and Chenya were walking around the city after classes when they spotted an electricity pylon. They thought it was the Eiffel Tower (the equivalent of it in Twisted Wonderland), and they got all excited about it, so they came back with Trey's parents so they could take a picture of them next to it.
Their parents bring up the topic from time to time just to laugh at their innocence back then.
★﹕LEONA KINGSCHOLAR
When he was a little kid, he had a nightmare where he was being chased. He was tossing around the bed, mumbling while sleeping. Falena was walking around the halls when he heard noises from Leona's room, and when he saw him clearly having a nightmare, he tried to wake him up. Leona got so startled that he screamed and kicked his older brother in the face.
Sometimes he remembers when he's about to fall asleep, and suddenly his sleepiness is gone from how much he cringed.
★﹕RUGGIE BUCCHI
He needed money, so he decided to work as a party mascot. It went well the first couple of times; it paid well, until he had to work at this particular kids party. The parents told Ruggie to walk down the stairs, greet the kid, wish him a happy birthday, and then just stand there to greet the children whenever they talked to him. Keep in mind that he couldn't see well in the mascot suit. So when Ruggie tried to walk down the stairs, he tripped and fell. The suit's head fell off, and there was just silence for around ten seconds, then the kids started crying. They thought their favorite character had just died right in front of them.
The birthday boy was inconsolable. Needless to say, Ruggie didn't get paid, and his party mascot careed ended that day.
★﹕JACK HOWL
It happened when his parents weren't home. His younger siblings were playing around with paint, and they asked him if they could paint his face. Jack said yes because it was harmless and would wash off, right? Wrong, it was permanent paint.
He had an important exam the next day, so he just showed up to school with his face looking like a kid painting that parents would display on the fridge door. Jack had to go to school like that for three days.
★﹕MALLEUS DRACONIA
Malleus has known Lilia for as long as he can remember; he basically raised him. One day, he had the genius idea to copy his hair. He waited for a moment when he was left unsupervised (in Lilia's defense, Malleus faked being asleep), grabbed some scissors, and cut his own bangs. It was awful; it looked like how you would think a little kid would cut their hair. He was so proud of himself until Lilia saw it. To little Malleus dismay, Lilia laughed his ass off, and whenever his laughter would stop, he would look at Malleus and start laughing again.
He got so upset he burned Lilia's bangs off.
#twisted wonderland#twst#leona kingscholar x reader#malleus draconia x reader#deuce spade x reader#cater diamond x reader#trey clover x reader#jack howl x reader#artemiy artemiyevich pinker x reader#twst x reader#twisted wonderland x reader#deuce x reader#cater x reader#trey x reader#jack x reader#ruggie x reader#chenya x reader#malleus x reader#leona x reader
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online buddy of mine (born in 2004) said “i strongly suspect the vast majority of ‘I'll always remember where I was on 9/11’ stories are not true. I simply don't believe that 75% of people were watching the news live at 8:45 in the morning on a Tuesday when the strangest thing happened.” and like. okay. we can talk about the aftermath in the 22 years since 9/11 and the horrific and evil jingoism that ruined countless lives in decades-long wars all we want. but i cannot overstate enough that 1) we still very much had a monoculture in 2001. most americans would watch either the today show or GMA. 2) as soon as that first plane hit every news station in the country was covering it. schools and businesses and break rooms turned on every tv. every radio. anything that had the ability to broadcast the news. (smartphones weren’t a thing. cell phones and the internet existed but they were new and fragile. unreliable. your best bet was still to sit there and watch. or listen.) and we all sat there and watched the second plane hit and the pentagon hit and the towers collapse and flight 93. so, yes: basically everyone who was alive and old enough to form lasting memories in 2001 remembers that day and the coverage. even people who weren’t near a tv or radio in real time remember where they were and what they were doing when they heard the news. they probably even remember the reason why they didn’t hear about it in real time. i was 5 years old in my first week of first grade and i remember it. it was like. the biggest thing to happen in this country since fucking. pearl harbor. bigger. there’s no need to downplay that.
#personally: my school intentionally kept us in the dark and didn’t dismiss us so i didn’t find out until i got home#but we all knew something was up because it was a glorious september tuesday and they cancelled recess to keep us inside#and all of the teachers looked shaken and some kids were picked up by their parents.#i still remember the look on the face of the mom of one of my classmates. we would later find out that her dad (my friend’s grandpa) died.#but they didn’t tell us what was going on and i think they made the right choice.#didn’t want to traumatize thousands children more than necessary. i think they were right.#i still remember exactly where i was and how my parents told us though#and i remember all of the coverage after. all of it.
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Recruiting Minthara Without Doing A War Crime - BG3
Opening Disclaimer: I do not know every variable, I am sharing what I did to recruit Minthara in BG3 since basically every guide in the internet is wrong and says you must do a war crime to recruit MInthara. You will lose out on the Minthara post battle sex scene and she remains mutually exclusive with Halsin you either have her or him but she can be obtained as a party member and even has exclusive voiced dialogue for Karlache and Wyll whom many say you are also locked out of to recruit her. Also this is totally intentional and accounted for but in my personal run I am getting some bugs, idk if it's an everyone issue or a me issue the game is still very new.
To Attack The Grove or to Kill Everyone In The Goblin Camp, that is the question, one that needs not an answer. You can do quests in both places, talk to Minthara, and more and still walk away from this fight.
All you need to do is simply progress the plot ignoring these two binary options. You'll need to ensure Minthara does not know the location of The Druid Grove so for me the way I did it was I rescued Sazza then killed her in the goblin camp before she could rat out the location and turn on me right before she would have walked me over to MInthara. It triggered a small fight but I destroyed the drums they played to trigger an alarm and have everyone fight me meaning I only had to kill four Goblins or so. I went to talk to Minthara and told her I had no clue where the druid grove or her item were but i'd totally look into it. I grabbed everything I wanted from the Goblin camp and before that did all of the Tiefling kid side quests except stealing the artifact in The Druid grove, upgraded Karlache's infernal engines, looked around everywhere I could. I did not at any point meet or talk to Halsin.
Then from there I simply went to the Underdark, you may be be able to take the Gith path instead, idk I didn't do it but I personally went to The Underdark by way of Feather Falling in the Phase Spider Monarch's layer down into it. From there I found some slavers, killed them and stole their boat. I sailed away to a forge where more slavers were living, I helped them save a true soul, helped the true soul kill them and then killed The True Soul. With that I was on my marry way and entered act 2. This I believe triggers time to have progressed in the game and everything will have gone into motion. I wanted to be sure though that I had done everything correctly so I headed to Moon Rise towers as fast as I can. I did some fights, got to the tower and found Minathara getting yelled at by her boss and thrown into a prison. In the prison two women are trying to wipe her mind. I killed all the guards before trying to help her out in the prisons area and freed some other prisoners. Stole a bunch of stuff then went to the girl herself. I then killed the people trying to brainwash her after talking to them for a little, walked out with Minthara, the guards at multiple times were like "why the fuck do you have Minthara" I smooth talk my way out of each situation, we leave moonrise and I tell her she can stay in our camp. From there she is a party member.
The game suggests you don't bring Minthara back into Moonrise Towers with you, I have got some light glitches on my own run when going to areas that are before you can normally recruit minthara and going to camp sometimes she spawns over at The Goblin camp where you first meet her. The Goblins seem to be basically fine so what happened with the tiefling and druids. Well the tieflings were forced to leave the druid grove but they were gonna do that anyway and the same quests are triggered as if you didn't do that as far as I undertand. I have met one of the tieflings already in act two and they were not mad at me for not helping the grove. The grove however did do the ritual and is no longer accessible. I will update this when I enter Baulder's Gate if I find out I like idk caused the death of a bunch of characters for not siding with either but I don't think I cased any deaths at all, I think I spared the most lives, the most peaceful bitch.
I want to end of the note that there is more to Minthara than Girlboss, Gaslight, Gatekeep. She for narrative reasons is a fun character to have. She is cold for sure but I think the game does a pretty good job justifying it and you can see right away glimmers of her warming up. In terms of a party member her kit is interesting, she starts with tadepoles already in her head so if you were totally avoiding them like me you'll be able to see a few of the powers in action given you have no option to remove them from her.
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do you recommend puzzle pop? i keep really wanting to play it but i do not want to get apple arcade just for that. but i dont know of any other way to get it... so i keep waffling back and forth. i guess im mostly wondering if you think its worth it, i know youve been posting about it but i blocked spoilers so idk what your thoughts are fully
Hi anon :) This is a very good question and gives me a chance to talk about the game
So for starters: You can technically get a free trial of Apple Arcade for a month and this is honestly enough time to just play through for the story modes. I think there are free Apple Arcade trials offered through Best Buy and stuff if you've already used a trial though. If you have an Apple device I feel like it's good to just go for it and try it out?
My short answer is: Yes if you want to play for story and collectibles! Especially if you're mostly interested in the Fever characters! But no if you are more focused on online multiplayer or the Madou characters. The suzuran group actually get a decent amount of content in this game, especially Ecolo in their main story.
I can't really say if I recommend it because everyone in the fandom has really different tastes honestly? Like, if you care mostly about the Madou Monogatari characters, I don't know if you'll like it because the story focus is heavy on Sig and Amitie…and it raises more questions than anything. So I'll just put a personal pros/cons list.
Pros:
The game looks really nice for an Apple Arcade game. Yeah the models are reused, but they use the expressions/motions to their full potential and the cel-shading is great. I also love the environment design. It also isn't live service so you can play it without an internet connection.
The main story, overall, is really good. There are a few standout side stories too IMO! My favorites are Feli, Witch's, Risukuma's, Ally's and Rafisol's.
So many collectibles. The Puyo Card feature, a customizable ID card you can unlock stuff for, is probably the most fun thing they've added to this game.
There's not a lot of new songs but the new ones are very good.
The inclusion of Nazo Puyo-style puzzles in story mode is a lot of fun, but they're skippable if you're bad at them.
Photo mode is fun. Basically you have a diorama where you can pose the characters however you want, but I haven't used it much.
Cons:
Yes the models and animations are reused, most other stuff in the game is new though!
The main story starts out really strong but does feel a bit anticlimactic in the last act. If you have already read the novel Sig's Secret you most likely won't get anything out of the story, which was the case for me. I've known a lot of people who haven't and cried at the ending though.
Some of the side stories for certain characters are really whatever to me but this is subjective.
The translation can be really weird in places -- I think Suketoudara's side story is where it was at its worst, but there are random errors scattered throughout the English translation...
The music selection is a bit weird to me. Like, Rafisol's theme isn't in the game but the Color Tower theme is? It's just a weird selection.
The challenge dungeons for unlockables can feel really tedious since you're not guaranteed to get characters' special items. If you have a grind mindset and really enjoy Puyo Puyo gameplay though, this is probably fine.
The online is terrible and nonexistent. This kind of renders the Puyo Card moot if you really care about showing it off.
You will need a controller for some of the harder stages. The touch controls are fine if you just want to get through the story, but you'll need a bluetooth controller for more precise inputs.
I basically do think it was well-constructed at the start, but most likely Yoshino (the writer) ran out of space or time for the last story in the game.
#inquiries#anonymous#Yoshino's characterization bias was also really obvious in this game lol#puyo puyo#long post
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Locations in Sapporo
things in my personal life has calmed down somewhat for the time being so I figured I'd write up an easy lore post that I completely forgot I could make so here we are
I wanted to list some common locations found in Sapporo as featured in Vocal Android! I haven't actually talked about the setting too much and while I'm kinda bad at designing locations, I figured I could at least talk about them a little
But, yeah, I'll do my best to explain, so some lore under the cut?
Crypton Laboratories HQ/Crypton Towers: The place where the CVs live and where Meiko and Kaito work. A huge white, gray, and cyan building shaped like a C if you look at it from above, it's home to Crypton's various research labs. The building has floors entirely dedicated to be Miku, the twins and Luka's living spaces, and they each have their own color-coded rooms and living areas. There's a recording and dance studio in the building for the CVs to do their idol work and music playing, as well as a virtual reality training room. There's also the CVs' very own superhero base of sorts, which Gumi helped design, and allows the crew to oversee the city in case danger makes itself known (it's also a convenient place to hang out and take a nap). There's also a sizeable garage below the building, where Rin keeps the road roller.
Kenmochi Academy High School: Miku, Rin and Len's school. A large, clean campus made of three V-shaped buildings with their points pointing towards each other and hexagon-shaped windows. A pretty high-bar school with a lot of recent technology, it's one of the more popular and well-known high schools in town (and thus, an excellent candidate for Meiko's goal of having the CVs interact with humans their age). It is headed by Principal Sasaki. (Current Student List: Hatsune Miku, Kagamine Rin and Len, Kobayashi Matcha, Masaoka Azuki, Yumemi Nemu, Hibiki Lui, Akira Kano/Arsloid, Otomachi Una, Sato Sasara, Suzuki Tsudumi, Kokone Aime, Kizuna Akari, Futaba Minato, Hoshino Ichika, Tenma Saki, Hinomori Shiho, Mochizuki Honami, Koharu Rikka (formerly), Suzune Ring)
Ichikawa Academy High School: Gumi's school, a high school on the eastern side of the city. It's a more "normal" high school, less flashy than Kenmochi and looking more typical, but still has a few good programs to its name, including its science program (which Gumi tries to participate in). (Current Student List: Megumi "Gumi" Nakashima, Kotonoha Akane and Aoi, Tohoku Zunko, Gahata Meiji, Kamishiro Rui, Kusanagi Nene, Tenma Tsukasa, AiSuu, Tsuina-chan)
Utahako Elementary School: The local elementary school a block or two away from Kenmochi. It's a modest little elementary school, having been newly refurbished from an older building. Many of the students that go there end up graduating to Kenmochi later. Kiyoteru teaches here. (Current Student List: Kaai Yuki, Oliver Twitchell, Rana, Macne Petit, Tohoku Kiritan, Otomachi Unagi, Ryuuto Nakashima)
The Macne Cafe: A fresh-looking little internet cafe that sits in the town plaza and is the CVs' favorite hangout spot. Established by the Macne Family, it's become slowly but surely known around town for its delicious green apple cheesecake and desserts. Nana has been trying various ways to spread their customer base further.
The V5: A swanky nightclub and bar that is also in the plaza, run by four friends: Amy, Chris, Kaori and Ken. Many of the adult characters come there to drink and chat a bit.
UTAU Studios: A record label company and radio studio stationed in the industry hub of town, notable for its large staff and loooong list of talents. The studio runs a daily radio broadcast that's fairly popular, and their top talent is Namine Ritsu (or it was, anyway).
Sapporo University: The local college. A bit of an older building since it's been there basically forever compared to a lot of the rest of futuristic city. Has a small, colorful dormitory community next to it where students stay. (Current Student List: Galaco, Po-uta, Tsurumaki Maki, Shirosaki Yuudai; Utatane Piko isn't a student but he lives there)
Kamukura Shrine: A humble shrine that's only a little ways away from the beach, and is where most of the cast goes for holiday celebrations (such as New Years). It's headed by Kigashima Sourin and his protégés, Kurono Takehiro, Wakamatsu Akashi, Aoyama Ryuusei and Shirakami Koutarou, who are training to be proper priests. They also have their shrine maiden, a fussy teenage girl named Lumi who claims to be a jellyfish kami from the sea. Her antics tend to bring a lot of visitors.
SEKAI Auditorium: A venue a few blocks away from Crypton HQ and the main place where Miku and friends perform locally. Very spacious and known to host tons of acts, including smaller ones like local bands, singers and theater shows. Also functions as a sort of convention center at times. However, it's tendency to get raided by supervillains (mostly in pursuit of Miku and co.) has given it a bit of a weird reputation.
The Nebula: A recently-established nightclub in the plaza run by American DJ CYBER DIVA (and her partner CYBER SONGMAN), who is also the headlining act of the place. Used to have a bit of a rivalry with Miku, but they're both over it. Gets a lot of younger customers than the ones at the V5.
Dr. Momone's House: A modern house in a quiet neighborhood next to the industrial part of town where Dr. Momone, Momo and Defoko live. Their neighbors consist of Yufu (who lives down the lane), Eru (who lives at the far end of the lane), Tsukishiro Hakupo and his servant bot Kunishiki (who live next door) and Sensei.
Gumi's Apartment: Gumi, Gakupo and Ryuuto's small apartment in a building not too far from Crypton HQ. Not the nicest apartment that ever was, but it's homey.
Gin no Hana: A old-fashioned restaurant that has reasonable business and is popular due to the comfy atmosphere. Managed by Ginsaki and his wife, Koharu.
The Old Soul Theater: An old theater in town that's mainly still in the city for the sake of preservation, but still has small plays and acts now and again. Has been turned into an acting school of sorts by Miriam Stocks, a theater connoisseur.
Ruko's candy shop: A hole-in-the-wall shop in an alleyway managed by Yokune Ruko, where they sell candy, snacks and cheap cups of drip coffee. Totally not shady in the slightest. Is almost constantly out of coffee-flavored hard candy because Ruko keeps eating it.
Meiko's apartment: Meiko's home, a simple apartment in a simple complex where she crashes after a long day at the lab. The CVs have never been to it.
There's probably more than this but yeah :>
#vocal android verse#finally posts this after this has been in my drafts for like. half a year#but here!! lore!!! kinda.
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My media this week (21-27 Apr 2024)
📚 STUFF I READ 📚
😊 rounding third, sliding home. (througheden) - 68K, enjoyable steddie AU with pro baseball player Steven & massage therapist Eddie
🥰 Daddy Issues (His Boy Next Door #39) (RJ Moray) - reread; just a big fan of Jack & Channon & their ongoing story!
🥰 Common Ground (His Boy Next Door #40) (RJ Moray) - LOVE that Jack & Ewan are finding some common ground - really love that this series is showing how two people who don't particularly care for each other can work to find connection for the sake of the people they DO love
😍 ACT-verse series (ann_anotherthing) - truly outstanding series about middle-aged Steddie getting a 2nd chance romance after their first one flamed out 25 yrs earlier. Full series is 117K but it starts with A Certain Type (54K), which is a fully complete story with satisfying HEA - the rest are flashback fics or wonderfully indulgent epilogue/vignettes, full of fluffy and delicious porn. The author confesses to basically turning them into her middle-aged OCs but 1) I think her projections of their characters in middle-age with these particular life experiences seem reasonably plausible and more importantly 2) I don't fucking care because this story and these characters (main & supporting) are AMAZING.
💖💖 +227K of shorter fic so shout out to these I really loved 💖💖
When you stop being a ghost in a shell (Bittersweet_in_Boston) - MCU: Stucky, 12K - Hydra finds Steve in 1952 & then they have The Asset and The Captain. Except they really should have known better than to ever let them see one another.
Where the Sunflowers Grow (AidaRonan) - Stranger Things: Buckingham, 30K - incredible Chrissy recovery fic with bonus Buckingham. Just. So Fucking Good.
Early Returns (rageprufrock) - Inception: Arthur/Eames, 15K - fabulous AU where Arthur's an editor who has everything on lock, dammit & Eames is a reporter who wants to mess him up. Also the newsroom is nothing but a high-pressure high school when it comes to gossip.
📺 STUFF I WATCHED 📺
Murdoch Mysteries - s16, e14-20
Um, Actually - s9, e5; s1, e3, 4, 6-20
Game Changer - s6, e6
Smartypants - s1, e1
Ghosts (US) - s3, e9
D20: Fantasy High: Junior Year - "Untapped Rage" (s21, e16)
D20: Adventuring Party - "Honor the Cock" (s16, e16)
Dead Boy Detectives - s1, e1-3
🎧 PODCASTS 🎧
Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #13: Of the Gentle Sea
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep13 "Of the Gentle Sea"
Worlds Beyond Number - WWW #14: There is an Ocean Vaster Than This One
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for WWW ep14 "There is an Ocean Vaster Than This One"
99% Invisible - The Power Broker #04: Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez
What Next: TBD - The Internet Archive Endangered
⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: A Tasty Tale about Meyer Lemons
⭐ The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Love Letters
The Sporkful - Priya Krishna Writes The Kids Cookbook She Wished She'd Had
The Allusionist - 193. Word Play 3: Lemon Demon
WikiHole - Cicadas…LIVE (with Matt Rogers, Carl Tart and Claudia O'Doherty)
In Defense of Fandom - Season 2 Episode 3: Fanfiction fixit data
Vibe Check - Her Mediocrity Cannot Touch Me
Code Switch - How Jewish Communities Are Divided Over Support of Israel
Short Wave - Beavers Can Help With Climate Change. So How Do We Get Along?
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Oh, the places you will go …. to see these notable trees
⭐ Decoder Ring - Making Real Music for a Fake Band
Ologies with Alie Ward - Columbidology (PIGEONS? YES) Part 2 with Rosemary Mosco
All Songs Considered - Cruel songs for the cruelest month
Pop Culture Happy Hour - What Makes A Good Sex Scene?
The Atlas Obscura Podcast - Tree Week: Killer Trees with Mary Roach
Shedunnit - Agatha Christie's Many Houses
⭐ 99% Invisible #579 - Towers of Silence
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat: Sound and Music Talkback Extravaganza: The Sound and the Fury: Music is All Around Us Volume 1
Dear Prudence - My love language with friends is touch, but it makes my partner jealous. Help!
Worlds Beyond Number - Fireside Chat for Chapter 1 of The Wizard the Witch and the Wild One
⭐ Endless Thread - The Jackie Show
Worlds Beyond Number: Fireside - Fireside Chat for LEVELING UP (1 to 2)
Today, Explained - Honey, We Saved the Bees
Wait Wait… Don't Tell Me! - Renée Elise Goldsberry
⭐ Hit Parade - The Bridge: What Made Them Beautiful
History Is Sexy - Episode #86 - Napoleon III
🎶 MUSIC 🎶
'80s Pop Party
Village People radio
#sunday reading recap#bookgeekgrrl's reading habits#bookgeekgrrl's soundtracks#fanfic ftw#dropout tv#dead boy detectives is a lot of fun so far#i'm a sucker for a queerplatonic ride-or-die to the end of the line relationship‚ dead or alive#even if they are so very teenagers#the cats are my faves tho#'80s music#village people#99% invisible podcast#hit parade podcast#decoder ring podcast#endless thread podcast#the atlas obscura podcast#vibe check podcast#shedunnit podcast#worlds beyond number podcast#worlds beyond number: fireside podcast#wikihole podcast#the sporkful podcast#pop culture happy hour podcast#code switch podcast#what next: tbd podcast#ologies podcast#all songs considered podcast#history is sexy podcast#today‚ explained podcast#wait wait... don't tell me!
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Pre-G1 Modules, part 5 - The Tower of Zenopus
So you probably noticed that this is being posted after G1. Sorry! File this in July 1977, so just after DK1 and 2 and Tsojconth and City-State and Tegel Manor but before Thieves of Badabaskor et c.
This post being released out of order is a function of where Zenopus is hiding. You see, the dating of Holmes Basic is a little squirrely. Most places say 1977 broadly, some people will say "the earliest reference is an ad in Dungeon in September '77", and a few internet sleuths say July 11th . So I hadn't had that down in my to-review list before I released G1, and in the rush I had forgotten that hiding in the back of Holmes Basic is the beloved little module simply entitled "Sample Dungeon", later known as The Tower of Zenopus.
And, consequently, I have no fancy cover to show you! Just this hand-drawn little map:
The Tower is unique in that it is the first module on this list that I have actually run for a real party. Now, granted, I did not run the Tower in Holmes Basic (I ran it in Fantasy AGE 2nd edition), but nonetheless -- it's the first one I have personal knowledge of. And I love it quite a bit.
So historywise Holmes Basic has a lot going on that I cannot quickly explain, so simply accept that Eric Holmes offered and was eventually hired to re-edit Original Dungeons and Dragons ("Little Brown Booklets") into a less labyrinthine mess. This was an extremely good call, and the Basic productline would go on to live for a very very long time in one form or another, only getting seriously changed much later by Frank Mentzer in 1983. There is a lot of Corporate Politics wrapped up in the release of ADND vs Basic vs Original DND, with concerns about copyrights and royalties and extremely Type A Gary Gygax not wanting to share his toys with the others. And, done.
The Tower is interesting from a historical standpoint in that whereas The Tower of the Frog is "here is a dungeon, here is what that looks like", Tower of Zenopus is "here is how to make a dungeon, and this is a dungeon that will teach players how to play". There will be far better attempts at those two goals, but nonetheless Tower represents a module that genuinely holds up in 2024 with some cleanup. It was given a loving nod in 5e's Ghosts of Saltmarsh by having the neighboring Portown be a little up the coast from Saltmarsh and I strongly recommend having that be your second adventure after the haunted house.
So, what's Tower's backstory? Both more and less than you'd expect. Zenopus built the tower next to the graveyard, it was suddenly engulfed in green flame, Zenopus was killed "by some powerful force he had unleashe din the depths of the tower", and it sat around for a bit. The villagers saw spooky shit going on there and smashed it with a catapult. Your party has assembled in the Green Dragon Inn and is going to investigate for phat lewt. Go on, scamp!
The structure of the tower is unusually genius for an early module, in that it features a lot of routing loops that allow for nonlinear but clear movement through the dungeon. The overall structure is, ultimately, a rimmed wheel, an outer ring connected by spokes to the hub. The shape hides this well but not too well, which is perfect for the new DM. So here's the room by room highlights:
The party enters on a four-way intersection, each taking you to a different feature of the dungeon. I have heard this dungeon describes as "like a theme park with four wings" and that's an apt descriptor here -- you're picking between the rat area, the pirates area, the wizard area, and the tomb area.
A very cute and simple puzzle, which is one of those most precious things in life: a four-way room freely opens from the outside, but only lets you out from one door. A statue in the center points towards the door that is currently open, and the statue can be spun to change the door. It's a neat little trick in that if the party gets separated during combat, anyone in this room can't assist anymore unless they work out the trap, but outside of combat it is largely a non-issue so long as they take the time to puzzle it out.
A pretty standard but new for the time tell that the wizard has a petrification wand with a little garden of stony adventurers. It's a classic for a reason.
A regulation water-rush trap that separates the party with the current -- again, a certified classic, creating tension by making fair encounters that are hard if the players get separated by traps
Ye olde "question answering mask" with, again, a precious simple puzzle: a tiny little riddle. If you parse out that the mask is powered by the sundial, you can abuse your light sources to make it be 4pm.
G i a n t c r a b, the most classic of scary "normal monsters", because it is armored and hits hard but people still immediately understand "oh fuck it's a crab" in the way they understand a bear is a serious issue
Giant spiders ambush from the ceiling silently. Zenopus really is a classics fest, but in 2024 that's kind of novel simply because THIS type of classic isn't done anymore.
For reasons I cannot fathom, the local pirates have taken to smuggling in the Tower because it's connected to the sea. This works in Ghosts because Portown is abandoned and so it's far away, but as-mentioned in the original module the tower has to be suuuuper far away from town, but also near enough to be the graveyard, for it to be a good smuggler's den. Regardless, there's a canned setpiece in the sea access room where pirates are coming on boats with a kidnapped noble lady from Portown. They're moving in on skiffs when, a giant octopus attacks! It's very, very good. This is, for my money, the best room in the dungeon and also one of the best moments in DND until we get all the way to N1's tavern.
In the center of the dungeon is a staircase leading up into the remains of the tower -- I made a rather major change from the original here, the original is merely an old alchemist's laboratory complete with a pet ape.
Instead of the alchemy lab, for my adventure I made a rather large change: the original module suggests expanding downwards because That Is How It Was Done in 1974. Instead, I went up. The horrible thing Zenopus discovered had formed a shadowy parallel dimension, so they were in a pocket dimension where the old tower was, even though in the prime material plane it was simply rubble. This blog is not About My Modifications but, that's my free tip about the tower if you ever run it -- subvert the old timey expectations by making it an upward dungeon instead of a downward dungeon, with the power of weird magic.
Anyway, that was all, and amends are now made for my previous error. See you in checks notes like 5 hours with G2!
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Kid Iron: mentor Peter x child reader x avengers.
Age 11: Reader Chan is a new hero with telekinesis powers and helps Peter with his Spider-Man duties but all heck brakes when a popular internet post goes viral.
Y/N-You
F/N-father
M/N-mother
You are in your lab in your mansion making improvements on your suit.
You aunt raised you after your parents died when you were little your aunt is single and doesn't have children of her own but she has lived in the mansion as your live in caregiver since you were 4 months old.
You are a genius like Tony Stark, at least that's what your aunt says.
You are a very smart kid which earned you a spot in Midtown tech high where you meet Peter, Ned and MJ your best friends and Peter also being your mentor.
As your tinkering with your suit you heard your AI Zelda "young mistress Y/N! Peter, MJ and Ned are all here for lunch." She said "Thanks Zel." You said going to the bathroom to wash your hands.
After eating lunch you, Peter, MJ and Ned went to your lab to finish on your suit and make improvements on Peter's.
The boys are fanboying over the design of your suite it wasn't heavy armor like Tony Stark's Iron man suite but it was comfortable and light with the only armor being the iron breastplate, gauntlets, shoulder protectors, knee protectors and mouth protector that you made from titanium iron that your Aunt got you for your birthday "Wow Y/N, you really made it fashionable too." Ned said admiring the light armor that was F/C and silver "I even installed Zelda into my suit." You said "Peter there is a robbery in the Manhattan bank." Karen said "Oh perfect for you to try out the suit. Meet me outside." Peter said walking to a bathroom to change into his suit while you walked into your room.
After changing you went to Peter who is basically fanboying at how cool you look.
You flew with your rocket boots while Peter swung with his webs.
As your flying you hear police sirens close by and see that the bank is surrounded by the police, and civilians "Spidy I see the crime." You said flying down "Got it kiddo." He said swinging down to the scene.
As the police try to keep civilians out of harms way you and Spiderman went towards the police "Perfect timing Spiderman and... umm, who are you?" He asked you "Kid Iron." You answered making everyone whisper "Don't worry she's my new ward." Spiderman answered to the people "Alright Kid Iron let's go." He said walking into the bank with you following.
In side the bank you see a bunch of men wearing rabbit mask "Ohh bunnies." You said in a fake fangirl voice making Spiderman laugh "Yeah! What are rabbits doing in New York? Hey kid we should call the pet store." Spiderman said playfully making you laugh "Because we found some poor bunnies that need good homes." He said webbing a charging burglar to the floor with ease, you lifted another with your telekinetic powers.
You two continued fighting the burglars until all of them are webbed up so the police can collect them.
Outside of the bank you see people cheering for you and Spiderman, you two are bombed with questions which were easy to answer like how you two meet, how you became Spider-Man's ward, your powers etc.
After answering questions you and Peter head back to the mansion unaware of a man wearing a Starks industry T-shirt taking a picture and posting it on instagram saying "Does Iron man have a kid?" Plus a video of you and Spidy answering questions unaware of the trouble this post will cost.
At Avengers tower:
The avengers were having a relaxing day chilling, watching movies, drinking, talking, eating snacks and taking turns trying to lift up Mjölnir.
After the lifting competition Tony gets a notification from his instagram.
Curious he clicks on it and spits his drink out "WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS THIS?" He screams out making his teammates/ friends jump "Geese Louise Tony." Rhodey said walking up to see what got the billionaire's iron boxers in a bunch "WHAT IN THE WHAT!?" He said soon all the avengers see what was going on "Tony, I didn't think you and Pepper had it in you." Clint said looking at the picture of a young girl with H/C hair up in a ponytail, E/C eyes, S/T skin and wearing blue and silver armor with black shorts, black thigh high socks with electronic designs on them, black converse shoes and a strange face mask styled like a gas mask "Oh look a mini Iron man but female and man of Spiders is with her." Thor said pointing to the picture of the kid and next to her was Peter in the suit "That kid has a lot of explaining to do." Tony said gripping his phone.
The next day:
You, Peter, Ned and MJ are on your way to Peter's apartment together for game night while getting sandwiches, drinks and snacks on the way.
When you're in front of the building you see an unfamiliar car parked in front of the building "Did someone get a new car?" You asked the three teens who looked pale from the car 'Oh boy, what did I do now?' Peter thinks to himself in terror "No one in this building owns that car." Peter said as all of you entered the building and head to the apartment but you see a man you never thought you'd have the chance to see "Anthony Edward Stark. AKA Tony Stark of Starks industry or when saving the world Iron man." You said excitedly getting to meet your hero who had a cocky smirk on his face "It's great meeting a fan." He said but his smirk turns into a frown as he pulls out his phone "Especially one who is Spidy's young ward." He said showing you an instagram picture and video of your alter ego from yesterday titled "Does Iron man have a kid?" Making you pale "what in the name of Teyvat?!" You whispered in shock that someone thinks you're Tony Starks kid "I already talked to May, you four are coming with me." He said until he turns to you "And you got to tell me how you made your armor." He said placing a hand on your shoulder.
At the tower again:
You are basically fangirling on the inside seeing the avengers in one room with you.
They are looking at you with shocked looks but are giving Peter, Ned and MJ disapproving looks "So umm what's this about?" Peter asked but shuts his mouth when he saw all the adults give him glares "Peter Benjamin Parker! Of all the irresponsible things you've done this is the most irresponsible." Steve said "A child, Peter?" Natasha asked "And you're still in training." Said Peitro to Peter.
You looked around the compound feeling bord when you saw a formula that was wrong, you grabbed a marker from the thing and wrote the formula right "Looks like there is another genius." Sam said slurping on his orange soda making everyone look in your direction as you’re on the last number "Sorry, that formula was wrong." You said pointing to the corrected formula on the board making everyones jaws drop "By god no wonder we never got it right. Thanks kid." Bruce said ruffling your hair making you grin and squeal inside 'OMG I just got praised by Bruce Banner himself. Somebody pinch me!' You think to yourself happily.
At the lab:
You stand in front of the avengers who are in shock to learn about the titanium you used for your armor to make it light and your AI Zelda “So you made your own armor along with your own AI?” Tony asked “Yep. Zelda connect to FRIDAY.” You said to your AI “Right away young miss L/N.” Zelda said but when she said your last name the avengers froze “L/N? Like F/N L/N and M/N L/N the late Shield scientist!?” Natasha Aka black widow asked “I didn’t know mom and dad were scientist.” You said in amazement “Like your parents Pete.” Ned said in amazement “Indeed they were a great team together. Until this Hydra agent managed to sabotage their jet.” A dark skinned man with an eye patch came in next to him was to your surprise your aunt wearing strange attire with a symbol you’ve seen one to many times on the news for as long as you can remember “Aunt Charlotte?” You asked fearfully as she struggled in the man’s grip making the room freeze “This Hydra agent is you’re aunt?” The man asked in shock “Yes, she’s my legal guardian until I’m old enough for my inheritance.” You said “I should have that money and mansion, not that incompetent child. I deserve that life style.” Your aunt said revealing that she only agreed to be your guardian for the inheritance but your parents made Sure that it was kept safe incase your aunt did something “Enough! Charlotte Young, you are under arrest.” The man said walking with your aunt in cuffs leaving you in shock and fear “My aunt is in HYDRA…Does that mean, I have to go in the-“ you didn’t want to finish for you’ve heard what it’s like in the system “Nope, you’ll be staying here.” Tony said proudly “Tony…are you?” Pepper asked in shock with a bit of happiness “Yes Pep, we’re adopting this kid.” Tony said making you shock but excited “Really?” You asked “Yep, it would be great to have a kid living permanently here.” He said making you more excited you didn’t realize that you made some stuff float until Peter called out to you “Y/N, your powers.” He said making you turn to see some stuff floating “She has telekinesis?” Bruce asked in amazement “Looks like we’ll need to help her control them.” Tony said grabbing a floating cup and beer “I will help her control them.” Wanda said “As will I.” Loki said “Make me three.” Stephen Strange said coming in through a portal “Doc, there’s this thing called front door.” Tony said annoyed.
Months later:
You, Wanda, Loki and Stephen strange sat in a meditation circle as you all levitated from the ground “Remember to take deep breaths if you don’t get it right little one.” Loki said as he levitated a card and placed it down “your turn kiddo.” Stephen said allowing you to place down your own card “UNO.” You shouted out as you placed the card down on the deck “You won Y/N.” Wanda said happily “This was a great training exercise guys.” You said to your new aunt and uncles when your new mom came in “guys, the pizza is here.” Pepper said “Coming mom.” You said to Pepper who smiled.
When you got to the dining room you saw the rest of your new family “How did training go squirt?” Your new dad, Tony asked “It went great dad, I beat uncle Loki by an 8.” You said making the room burst into laughter while Loki rolled his eyes “Great job Child of Iron.” Thor said scooping you up and tossing you in the air making you cheer from excitement “Aright point break, not too high.” Your Dad said with a laugh “Mr Stark. Peter, MJ and Ned are here.” Friday said “And young Miss your Manga, plushies and Funko pop collection have come, the movers are bringing them up.”Zelda said “Thanks FRI and Zel.” You and Tony said “After lunch we’ll help you unpack.” Steve said gesturing to himself, Bucky, Peitro and Sam “Thank you uncle’s Steve, Bucky, Sam and Peitro.” You said munching on a slice of Hawaiian pizza.
After eating four of your uncle’s helped you carry the boxes to your room “Geese, what’s in here?” Bucky asked as your all in your new room that was an unused room with nothing in it but after Tony took guardian ship over you and your aunt Charlotte got arrested you’re stuff from your old room at your parents mansion was moved to the tower and happy was staying in the mansion until you were of age to inherit it “I think that’s my manga collection.” You said placing the box you were carrying that was probably your plushies.
Once the boxes are placed down and you all opened them Bucky was shocked “Geese your wall is getting full with these things and figures.” Sam said looking at your limited addition hot topic exclusive awaken Nezuko Kamado Funko figure “This could put Coulson’s collection to shame.” Peitro said using his super speed while you used your telekinesis to put things away faster “So what are you expecting from your old house?” Sam asked sitting on the little seat under your single bunk bed where your small flat screen, PS4 and Nintendo Switch are along with your shoe rack “Those boxes are the last things from my house.” You said “She’s going to max out Tony’s credit card.” Bucky said reading one of your Demon slayer mangas “I can pay it off easily.” Tony said walking into the room with Pepper who is holding up a box “Y/N sweetie this Jewelry box is from your mother.” She said “really?” You asked “Yep, your folks lawyer dropped it off and told us to give it to you.” Tony said “I wonder what’s in it.” You said slowly opening it to reveal necklaces, rings, earrings and bracelets mostly in silver “Wow.” You said looking over the jewelry “I know where to put it to keep it safe.” you said walking over to your desktop pc computer and typing in a code opening a safe in the wall making everyone shock “your a genius.” Steve said helping you move the jewelry box into the safe.
That night:
You, Peter, MJ and Ned are all in your room goofing off on Friday night while eating donuts from Crispy creams “Young Miss, Mr Parker there is a mugger in queens.” Zelda said “On it Zel.” you said walking into your walk in closet while Peter went to his own room.
After changing you gave Ned and MJ headsets that allowed them to speak to you and Peter with Ned sitting at your PC that looked over the cameras of queens then you and Peter went to your window “Let’s go Kid.” He said pulling on his mask with you doing the same “On it spidey.” You said as you both jumped out with you activating your rocket boots and Peter his web shooters “Not without me.” Said a voice as you both saw Tony flying out of the window of his lab, after stopping the muggers Tony did an interview on him adopting you.
#the avengers#peter parker#peitro lives#x child reader#platonic#family#found family#x you#x cute child reader
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I really love the contrast between the characters, Lou Zhu and Jiao Jiaoran. I hope they will meet in the future! So I want to talk about them this time. A person who treated the new world as his new reality versus a person who treat this new world like a game.
Let's say the world they transmigrated into, Da Liang is a virtual fictional world. Lou Zhu is the type of player who named his character with his real name. After all, he's a workaholic CEO in his original world who barely know memes, not into roleplaying and probably don't use social media too much. I know Lou Zhu tend to say he want to be lazy for the rest of his life but that's more like a tantrum to me whenever he felt overworked because it contradict his thought that he deserve to die once he's useless in the beginning of s2. Because of this mindset, he developed high adaptability to adjust in his new life as if it was his own despite using different body and treat the natives like real people. But what about his treatment to Jing Huanzhi? Well, I believe that's because he want to believe this is his new reality so he tried to ignore the fact its no longer his original body. He has existential crisis so its bad for his mentality if he think too much about it. Jiao Jiaoran on the other hand, she uses this new world to escape her reality. She used people like chess pieces and not afraid of the consequences of her bad actions because she has a mindset that she can just restart her life again by finding a singularity. Basically, she's the type of bad person who make many accounts for her social media and games to do bad things because she believe no one can catch her if she can just restart. Tan Qinghuan even stated that Jiao Jiaoran don't afraid of anything and only finally feel fear when everything is not working according to her plan so she start to find a singularity to start again her life in different world that might be kinder to her. But the thing is, life is never fair and we have no choice but learn to live with it. Even though Lou Zhu has his setbacks, he don't run away from it and even made the Best Tower so transmigrators like him will feel at home in this foreign world.
It connects to Fan Aiguo's line about the transmigrator who used Elder Xu's body where he said he sounds like an "internet addict". That's the villain in this story. People who's trying to escape their reality.
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The Earth is Online Chapter 2.2
When he woke the next day, he saw Victor’s message. He hurried to reply, but Victor was already offline.
Tang Mo stretched his body and suddenly felt that his psychological state was much better. His heartbeat was still very fast, but that feeling of being anxious for no reason had disappeared without a trace.
On the internet, the Black Tower incident was still being discussed. Since the relevant government agency had yet to give a definitive explanation, many netizens could only secretly discuss pertinent information regarding the Black Tower, but their discussions were basically all useless.
Tang Mo clicked on a few forum posts speculating on the Black Tower that seemed reasonable. A large number of people thought the Black Tower was the result of some kind of advanced technology research. There were also a few who thought it was the end of the world, but their tone was joking.
In the afternoon, Director Wang sent an announcement to the city library’s group chat.
“Urgent notice! Starting from the day after tomorrow, the city library will be commandeered as a temporary research center. If you have any personal items there, come fetch them within the next two days. I’ll repeat the notice once again: Starting from the day after tomorrow, the city library will be commandeered as…”
The group chat immediately exploded out of control.
A few older employees inquired one after the other - if the city library was commandeered, where would they go to work? A few young employees jokingly said: “It’s the end of the world, why work, ah?”
Tang Mo raised his head and turned his eyes to the distant Black Tower. He picked up his bag and caught a bus to the city library.
It must be said, the stability of A-country’s social order was really very good. Aside from those who worked close to the Black Tower and had to stay at home for the time being, the rest of the infrastructure was operating extremely steadily, the same as always.
But when he got on the bus and swiped his card, Tang Mo saw that the driver had an ashtray in front of him, filled with ash, and there was a cigarette in his mouth.
A middle-aged woman complained, “Mister, why are you smoking while driving? Isn’t it banned?”
“So troublesome. If I can’t smoke, I don’t want to drive. Why don’t you come drive?”
“Ai, what are you saying? The ban on smoking is a rule from you guys at the bus company. It’s already bad enough that you’re smoking, but you also won’t let us speak?”
The driver and the middle-aged woman continued to argue. Sitting beside Tang Mo were two female university students who hurried to mediate. They managed to soothe things over with great difficulty.
The two female college students returned to their seats and one of them said, “Today is the third day, right?”
“Oh, it’s like you said. It really is the third day.”
The female student, playing on her cellphone, said, “Something was said about needing to eliminate a player, but not being limited to playing a game. What does that mean? Even after three days there’s still no change. What counts as a game? If we play rock, paper, scissors, does that count?”
“Hee hee, want to give it a try?”
“Rock, paper, scissors!”
“Ah, I lost. Then, was I eliminated by you?”
The two female college students glanced at one another and began to laugh heartily.
Those who sat on the bus, continuing their everyday lives, didn’t care much about the Black Tower incident. When Tang Mo reached the city library, he saw countless people holding signs, surrounding the Black Tower on all sides. Those who cared deeply about the Black Tower incident were also those who indeed thought the Black Tower had brought about the end of the world.
Tang Mo made a detour via the backdoor and entered the city library. It seemed that he alone had hurried to fetch his things, because there was no one else in the spacious library. Outside, the chanting of the demonstrating masses could be heard, the hubbub echoing within the library as well. Tang Mo found his cabinet and retrieved several books from inside.
He was about to leave when he suddenly heard a muffled sound coming from the southeast corner. Tang Mo halted in his steps and looked in that direction. A moment later, he grabbed a black stun baton [1] from within the security locker and cautiously tip-toed toward that corner.
“Who’s there?”
There was no response. But Tang Mo could indistinctly hear the sound of someone moving, as if someone had stuffed a book back onto its shelf and then, in a fluster, dropped another.
Tang Mo approached the bookshelf in the corner and, rounding the corner, called out, “Who’s there!?”
An ordinary young man with a headful of chaotic hair looked toward Tang Mo in agitation, still holding a book in his hands.
The hand Tang Mo was using to hold the stun baton lowered. In astonishment, he said, “Spiritual…cough…Mr. Chen? What are you doing here?”
The spiritual weirdo looked stiffly at Tang Mo, forced a laugh, and returned the book he was holding to the bookshelf.
Tang Mo furrowed his eyebrows. “How did you get in here?”
“There’s a sliding window on the east side that’s not shut well… I just entered to look…look around…”
Tang Mo thought back and recalled that there really was a sliding window on the east side of the city library. But that sliding window was on the ground and opened into the basement, primarily serving as ventilation. How had the spiritual weirdo entered? Could he really have crawled through the window?
Tang Mo said, “Mr. Chen, your behavior is very awkward for us. Isn’t this considered theft?”
“I haven’t stolen anything!” the spiritual weirdo hastily said.
Tang Mo looked him up and down, his hand still grasping the stun baton, and walked to the bookshelf to carefully look it over.
Indeed, there were no fewer books. It was the same as when he’d left three days previously.
“So then the reason you entered is…”
[Ding dong! The game [2] ‘Who Stole My Book?’ has been triggered. On November 17th, 2017, at 17:52, players Tang Mo and Chen Fangzhi safely joined the game. Players have entered the sandbox. Game map generation is complete. Data loading is complete.]
In a split second, the turmoil and chanting coming from outside the city library completely disappeared. In the deserted city library, a sly, melodious child’s voice sounded out of nowhere, reciting a nursery rhyme that no one had ever head before -
[La la la, la la la.
Hit gently with a stick,
Two players playing house.
Three days and nights without speaking,
The angel and demon want it.
Hiss…who stole my book?] [3]
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Translation Notes
[1] Something like this:
This is a wild thing for a security guard at a LIBRARY to be carrying, btw.
[2] It's literally 'pit game.'
[3] This all rhymes in Chinese. I think it makes more sense that way because some of the nonsense is obviously there to 'force' the rhyme that highlights the key parts, but there's not really a good way to make it work in English. At least, not with my limited skills. Just......take my word for it, I guess. >_>;;
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“The Tower” based on Deuteronomy 29:10-15 John 11:28-44
Last Summer Diana Butler Bass gave a sermon at the Wild Goose Festival that was shared and forwarded to me approximately 100 times, which was good because that's how many times it took for me to read it. And once I read it, I participated in the sharing and forwarding too. Her sermon was entitled “All the Marys”1 and it shared one of the biggest breakthroughs in Biblical Scholarship in generations.
Which, I know, is THE SINGLE MOST EXCITING THING I COULD EVER SAY! Or, perhaps, maybe, it might not be?
Stick with me.
It's worth it. This is a case where a huge break through in Biblical scholarship has pretty big implications for those of us who follow Jesus. I'm well aware they aren't all like that.
What I find interesting is that I've now read her sermon several times over the course of 10 months, and I can't seem to retain it. The implications are actually so big and require such an enormous re-framing of how I understand the early Christian story, that my brain keeps erasing it in favor of the familiar.
If you have spent less time in Gospel commentaries and/or seminary than I have, I suspect you are going to find it easier to accept these very simple truths than I do. Which is great! This is really awesome stuff, and I'd love for people to hear it, know it, and even retain it.
Diana Butler Bass tells the story of Elizabeth (Libbie) Schrader who felt moved to study Mary Magdalene, landed at General Theological Seminary in New York to work on a Masters of New Testament, and wrote her final paper on John 11. Her professor encouraged her to look at the newly digitized version of the oldest known text of John, Papyrus 66, from around 200 CE, and find something new in it.
I'm going to quote Diana Butler Bass here:
And so Libbie is in the library looking at the text and she sees this first sentence. And it’s in Greek, of course. “Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and his sister Mary.” And Libbie said, “What? That’s not what my English Bible says. My English Bible says, ‘Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, the village of Mary and her sister, Martha.’” But the Greek text, the oldest Greek text in the world doesn’t say that. The oldest Greek text in the world says, “Now a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, at the village of Mary and his sister, Mary.” There are two Marys in this verse. And Libbie went, “What the heck? What is going on here?” And she started digging into the text, zooming in on it to try to see what she could see over the digitized version in the internet. And lo and behold, Libbie noticed something that no New Testament scholar had ever noticed.
And that is, in the text where it had those two Marys, the village of Mary and his sister, Mary, and her sister, Mary, the text had actually been changed. In Greek, the word Mary, the name Mary, is basically spelled like Maria in English, M-A-R-I-A. And the I, the Greek letter I, is the letter Iota. And it looks basically like an English I. Libbie could see by doing this textual analysis that the Iota had been changed to the letter TH in Greek, Theta. That somebody at some point in time had gone in over the original handwriting and actually changed the second Mary to Martha. And not only had that person changed the second Mary to Martha, but that person had also changed the way it comes out in English. It says, “The village of Mary,” that would’ve stayed the same, “and her sister, Martha.” Someone had also changed that “his” to “her”; that “her” was originally a “his,” but they had changed it to a “her.”
Admittedly, the original text is a confused and not very good sentence. “Now, a certain man was ill, Lazarus of Bethany, at the village of Mary and his sister, Mary,” it’s almost like they’re heightening the fact that Lazarus has this sister, Mary. They lived in this village together, and Mary is Lazarus’ sister. Someone had changed it to read, “Mary and her sister, Martha.”
Libbie sat in the library with all of this, and it came thundering at her, the realization that sometime in the fourth century, someone had altered the oldest text of the Gospel of John and split the character Mary into two. Mary became Mary and Martha.
She went through the whole manuscript of John 11 and John 12, and lo and behold, that editor had gone in at every single place and changed every moment that you read Martha in English, it originally said, “Mary.” The editor changed it all.
Now, that's a pretty big deal, but I imagine that maybe you don't... umm... I think the words might be “Care that much.” But let me say, “yet.” I haven't gotten to the part where this MATTERS yet, that was a really important BACKGROUND. It also makes John 11 as we know it really hard to read and make sense of. But that's OK too.
So the underlying question in this is “why?” Why would someone go through so much trouble to create the character Martha out of what was once Mary? The key may be in the part of John 11 we read last week,
25Jesus said, “I am the resurrection, and the life: the one that believes in me, though they may die, yet shall they live; 26and the one who lives and believes in me shall never die. Do you believe this?” 27She said to him, “Yes, Lord: I have believed that you are the Messiah, the Son of God, the one that comes into the world.
In the Bibles I have that “she” appears to be Martha but if she doesn't exist, then the she is Mary. And now we're getting to it. Christianity has long claimed that the first declaration that Jesus was the Messiah comes from Peter, the Rock, who is presented as having done so in Mark, Matthew, and Luke (the “Synoptics”) and that answer kinda worked because Martha was a pretty minor character and even though she says so in John, it is easy enough to ignore because Peter is THE ROCK, and Martha is... well, kinda a nobody.
Back to Diana Bulter Bass:
But if it is Mary, the Mary who shows up in John 11 is not an unremembered Mary... This Mary has long been suspected of being the other Mary, Mary Magdalene. Is it really true that the other Christological confession of the New Testament comes from of the voice of Mary Magdalene? That the Gospel of John gives the most important statement in the entirety of the New Testament, not to a man, but to a woman, and to a really important woman who will show up later as the first witness to the resurrection.
You see how these two stories work together. In John 11, Lazarus is raised from the dead, and who is there but Mary Magdalene? And at that resurrection, she confesses that Jesus is indeed the son of God. And then you go just 10 chapters later and who is the person at the grave? She mistakes him, at first, thinks he’s the gardener. She turns around and he says, “Mary,” and she goes, “Lord.” It’s Mary Magdalene. It is Mary Magdalene.
Oh, and now I get to place for you the final piece. Do you remember learning that Christ wasn't Jesus' last name? I do. Christ is the English version of Christos which was the Greek translation of Messiah, which literally meant “smeared” as in “smeared with oil” as in “annointed as king” because the Greek didn't have a Messiah concept like Hebrew did. So when we say Jesus Christ, we are actually saying “Jesus the Messiah.”
Well, a lot of people think Mary Magdalene was called that cause she was Mary, from Magdala. Except there was no village called Magdala. Diana Butler Bass summariezes it this way:
When we call her Magdalene, Mary Magdalene, is not Mary from Magdala. Instead, it’s a title.
The word magdala in Aramaic means tower. And so now you get the full picture. In the Synoptics, Jesus and Peter have a discussion. In that discussion, Peter utters the Christological confession. As a result of the Christological confession, Jesus says, “You are Peter the Rock.” In the gospel of John, Mary and Jesus have a conversation, and Mary utters the Christological confession. And she comes to be known as Mary the Tower.
Between these two confessions, are we looking at an argument in the early church? Peter the Rock or Mary the Tower?
But the John account was changed. The John story has been hidden from our view. All those years ago, Mary uttered those words, “Yes, Lord, I believe you are the Messiah, the son of God, the one who is coming into the world.” …
Mary is indeed the tower of faith. That our faith is the faith of that woman who would become the first person to announce the resurrection. Mary the Witness, Mary the Tower, Mary the Great, and she has been obscured from us. She has been hidden from us and she been taken away from us for nearly 2,000 years. …
Or, or perhaps and, you can leave here with a question: What if the other story of Mary hadn’t been hidden? What if Mary in John 11 hadn’t been split into two women? What if we’d known about Mary the Tower all along? What kind of Christianity would we have if the faith hadn’t only been based upon, “Peter, you are the Rock and upon this Rock I will build my church”? But what if we’d always known, “Mary, you are the Tower, and by this Tower we shall all stand?”
OK, that's it. That's my big Biblical Studies breakthrough story. Perhaps you might want to laugh with me that the big breakthrough is simply another affirmation that God loves and cares about all people, JUST LIKE THE TEXT FROM DEUTERONOMY said in a lot fewer words.
But, dear ones, what if we'd gotten both stories? And maybe the even more important question: how can we live now that we have both stories? How can we be followers of Jesus who was seen clearly by Peter and by Mary? How can we be people of faith who both follow a leader who is a rock on which we are steadied and a tower who lifts us all up? What if masculine and feminine were allowed to stand together as holy to the deepest core of our faith? What if there is a whole lot of space for both/and in our tradition!?!?
Someone actually didn't want that. Someone edited it out, and made Mary smaller. Dear ones, may we commit ourselves to the opposite. May we go out and make God, and each other, and all we meet BIGGER! Tower like, even. Amen
1 ALL THE MARYS Wild Goose Festival, Closing Sermon, July 17, 2022 by Diana Butler Bass https://dianabutlerbass.com/wp-content/uploads/All-the-Marys-Sermon.pdf
Rev. Sara E. Baron First United Methodist Church of Schenectady 603 State St. Schenectady, NY 12305 Pronouns: she/her/hers http://fumcschenectady.org/ https://www.facebook.com/FUMCSchenectady
May 21, 2023
#thinking church#progressive christianity#fumc schenectady#schenectady#umc#sorry about the umc#rev sara e baron#first umc schenectady#Diana Butler Bass#Wild Goose Festival#Mary the Tower#Mary AND Peter
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Five Characters, Five Tags
Andy Barclay (Child's Play series)
The original Child's Play from 1988 was my first horror movie that I watched as a wee child at 8 years old. It was my introduction to the 80's slasher genre, and bred my love for old school horror movies. This very blog wouldn't exist without me seeing this movie, in fact. Enough gushing about the original movie though, you came to hear about why Andy Barclay is here. I immediately loved Andy Barclay because Andy was like ME at that age. He played with dolls, he was the pinnacle of childhood innocence and wonder, he lived in a big city and had a mother who was struggling to make ends meet WHILE STILL TRYING HER BEST TO MAKE HIM HAPPY FOR HIS BIRTHDAY!! Hell I even looked like Andy at that age, except I'm a girl and I was chubbier. Nowadays I just feel so fucking bad for Andy. It genuinely pained me to witness just how paranoid and (admittedly) obsessed he had become, how much of his normalcy and innocence he lost, despite knowing it was all Chucky's doing. Now I just wanna wrap Andy up in a blanket and make him feel safe from that possessed hunk of plastic. I think it's safe to say that Andy Barclay will always have a place in my heart, no matter what. Andy can be my friend to the end, Hidey Ho!
2. Carlos Rodriguez (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare)
Now, what can I say about Carlos that I haven't said already? I don't really think there truly is anything new I can add, so I guess I'm gonna be redundant! Carlos has been a big comfort character for me ever since I was in late elementary school. Yes I'm aware I said I first watched Freddy's Dead in middle school, but my sense of time is clearly non-existent because I first watched it in the 6th grade, however I did rewatch Freddy's dead for the second time in middle school. That's probably what my brain has been remembering all this time. I also used to look up every little bit of info on Carlos I could on my grandma's old dinosaur computer, like I'm talking the ones that were big and clunky and had their own separate computer towers, and on DIAL-UP INTERNET. I guess you could say I was THAT hyper-fixated on Freddy's Dead content. Another fun fact, I used to think that Carlos was so fashionable lmao. Like, I wanted to have Carlos's wardrobe because I thought that having a hoodie under a jean jacket on top of a black muscle shirt was peak fashion. He's also the reason I wanted to own only Converse for the longest time.
3. Spencer Lewis (Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare)
(Small Disclaimer: I'm gonna be using he/him pronouns for Spencer here because he is canonically a cis male. Also, I will only be referencing my Spencer's got ADHD headcanon for him here because it is relevant). Oh Spencer. Spencer, Spencer, Spencer. Where do I even begin with you? Well, let me first establish that, like Carlos, Spencer has also been a character that my brain refuses to let go of since late elementary - early middle school. Spencer didn't really join my comfort character roster until I was well into high school, however. See, what made Spencer join that camp was the fact that I could see my younger siblings in him, who both have ADHD. My younger brother specifically also has a hyper-fixation on video games and is an actual string bean, so he has also been my main point of reference on how I portray Spencer's ADHD, with my sister's former knack of not taking shit from bullshit authority figures leaking into the portrayal too. Did I also mention that Spencer and I both have fathers that were borderline absent/meddle in our lives when they by all accounts had no right to due to how they basically abandoned us in all the ways that counted? Yeah that's a thing too. I think Spencer has transcended the label of comfort character, and has made a home in the trauma dump character category. Holy shit Spencer I am so sorry babes.
4. Crybaby (Melanie Martinez)
Crybaby as a character was someone I could relate to on an emotional level. I was saying for many years that my dysfunctional family almost fit Dollhouse to A FUCKING TEE! I also related the song Crybaby because I too was a very emotional little girl who got made fun and taken advantage of for it. I related to all of Crybaby's failed attempts at love in songs such as Carousel, Soap, and Training Wheels. Out of all my muses, Crybaby is the most like me because I already related to her long before I would even take her up as a muse. If Spencer was my trauma dump character, then Crybaby was my trauma incarnate. She also became my sense of empowerment, because she owned her emotions and empathy, and didn't let those who refused to understand her suppress her.
5. Major Theodore "Ted" Lockwood (Creepshow 2019 Shudder series)
Finally, we have Major Theodore Lockwood, or Ted as he's mostly referred to in The Right Snuff. Ted is, at least in terms of the other characters listed here, a very recent edition to my comfort character list. Also yes, I literally mean he's a comfort character. When I was recently super stressed out over RL things I had no control over, I just popped in Creepshow season two in my DVD player and put The Right Snuff on, just to see Ted's smiling face. I felt better almost instantly. Sometimes, when it's just me alone with my thoughts, Ted's voice just pops into my head to tell me that it's okay. That my stress and my responses to it are valid and make me human... Ted is easily my emotional support fictional character. Beyond all of that stuff, Ted Lockwood is also just my autistic experiences and traits incarnate. We're both nice to everyone, including people who probably don't deserve it. He and I both miss social cues a lot, and we can't read a room sometimes to save our damn lives (quite literally in Ted's case). We both have our own special interests, his is are centered in the sciences and mine is are centered around the arts. He and I both also have a heightened sense of empathy, like Ted could immediately tell that Alex was miffed about not being the one to meet the Gorangi, despite Alex's best attempts to hide his envy and disappointment. I tend to absorb others' emotions like a damn sponge, much to my annoyance. We both also have this strange inability to truly express anger, like neither of us really shout or get angry looks on our faces. We both just raise our voices a little and overenunciate words to get our point across. I know that it can be seen as tacky, and in certain cases disrespectful, to armchair diagnose a fictional character with a mental/physical disorder or illness, especially if said character is technically not human. However, I'm not just some neurotypical person doing it in order to dehumanize an entire group of people, I am an autistic woman who truly saw herself and her autistic traits in a fictional character that brings her legitimate comfort. It may not be officially canon, but it's canon to me and my interpretation of Ted. Plus, up until the ending, you don't really know that [SPOILER ALERT: Ted's a member of the Gorangi, the alien race he was supposed to make contact with.]
Tagged by: @trashcollected
Tagging: @depictedmorada
@kurtzbergsiblings
@scribedhorror
@popularmxnster
@depictedblue
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Out of context spoilers for Three Musketeers
Two of the protagonists met online because one of them mentioned being a Saiyan in a vent post and the other messaged them about it
One of said protagonists only uses the internet to talk to this friend. Quite literally, she only uses it to talk to one friend. Her laptop is an ancient brick that she got from someone in Penguin Village.
The World Martial Arts Tournament celebrates its 20th anniversary near the start of the story. For some reason, they still hand out cash prizes.
Earth has been in an era of peace and quiet because a demon made a deal with an intergalactic emperor to keep it quiet because there used to be various warriors that kept themselves (and others) in line. Key word being used to.
Most of the conflict is "the adults in our lives fucked up and now we're dealing with the consequences". A theme that sticks around a lot as the books progress.
There's a scene where two characters have an animated debate over what kind of magic would help make breakfast. Oh yeah there's a lot more magic here too.
We don't get an Earth threatening villain until the second book that centers Earth, but she's hinted at as early as this book.
But for now, one villain is basically as follows: Polar bear-man, used to run a well-renowned school for martial arts, went into a downward spiral and killed the other schools + warriors out of fear that they'd surpass him and his students. Later killed his own students for similar reasons. Has resorted to bullying a teenager in his care in order to feel powerful again. Fuck this guy.
Fuck Yaroslav all my homies hate Yaroslav
Said teenager is a three-eyed guy who learned how to physically "split" into their six facets. Originally this OC was going to be a grandchild of Tien and Launch but I scrapped that part. Their best friend is a shape-shifting pixie that's very passionate about magic and its value.
One character tries drinking water out of a decorative fountain because she'd never seen one before and thought you were supposed to drink from it.
The Guardian lives in a big ass cave instead of a Lookout tower. His assistant is a fox who makes tea brewed from the leaves of a Senzu plant. Not as effective as the beans, but still revitalizing.
There's something off about the Hyperbolic Time Chambers. Don't wander into the void.
Aight that's all I can think of byeeee
#[au] spectrum verse#[story] three musketeers#oc infodump#infodump#dbz#dbz fanfiction#dragon ball z#dragon ball z fanfiction#dragon ball#dbz ocs#fanfic#dbz oc#fanfiction#fanfic writing#dbz fanfic#db fanfic#db fanfiction#dragon ball fanfic#dragon ball fanfiction#dragon ball z fanfic#dragonballz fanfic#oc story
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To the people asking why they shouldn't use chat gpt and/or calling op a bigot for "discriminating against neurodivergent people" (also, yes goblin tools uses gpt, I see some people confused about that) I am an autistic software engineer here to explain. Here are some of the main reasons people object to AI usage:
1) environmental impact. AI uses a frankly disgusting amount of power and water. It took almost 300,000 kwh to just train chat gpt 3, and enough water to fill a nuclear reactors cooling tower. Some people will argue that only the training is this resource intensive and once the model is trained the damage is already done. This is untrue, as every conversation with chat gpt you have is the equivalent of wasting a large bottle of water and leaving a light on for an hour. Even if it was true, these companies are constantly training and improving existing models, and justifying that cost to their shareholders partially with YOUR use of their tool. And yes, big tech had a water and energy problem long before LLMs, but LLMs are significantly worse and only worsening.
2) it doesn't KNOW anything. This one is more philosophical, but chat gpt is advanced text prediction and arranging. Even researchers themselves are starting to accept that they will never be able to eliminate so called "hallucinations", which is when the model makes something plausible sounding up basically. It is not a "better search engine" because it is not retrieving any factual data, it is generating the most statistically probable results based on its training data, which will sometimes produce a desired output, but sometimes produces flat out nonsense. As well, you have to do your own fact checking. On Google, you can see the source of where something came from and who wrote, and gpt robs you of that context. There is no such thing as bias free, purely factual information unless we're talking incredibly basic questions and the info from chat gpt is basically worthless if it has no sources, no context, no author, and is made up by the model.
3) theft. This one is controversial, some people will argue that if you put something publicly on the Internet you are passively consenting to its use, but if I repost someones article without credit/claiming it as my own, they can still request that that article gets taken down. But the facts are that open AI used a dataset that scraped an absolutely massive amount of Internet data to train their model without asking, and you can get chat gpt to produce chunks of that text, especially in niche topics. For example, the software I work with is relatively niche and if you use chat gpt to get answers to questions about it, it will word for word reproduce some chunks of the actual documentation, mixed in with nonsense and with no accreditation. If you are using chat gpt for homework answers, you are potentially plagiarizing word for word chunks of other people's work.
4) this is one I don't see talked about often, but it's one that I feel is important. BIAS. GPT scraped the internet. Meaning, its word salads are entirely based on people who have internet access, and even more than that, people who post or post frequently on the Internet. That's a really small portion of the whole population. So, do you really want your word salads to have that kind of bias? Especially if you are using them for work or homework?? Wouldn't you rather put your unique, diverse, voice into the world?
Ultimately, using LLMs is an ethical decision you have to make and live with, but you should do it while understanding why people object to them, and also while understanding that the model doesn't know anything, it's like an advanced magic eight ball. Don't just play the victim and refuse to listen to concerns. Or call everyone taking issue with your use a bigot.
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Getting a Handle On The Messiahs: We Can Be Heroes
I’m still writing on Messiahs in our world. Last few times I suggested that Messiahs were usually pathological, at least in modern times, and often arose promising to clean up messes made by other Messiahs. It’s world saviors all the way down, a giant Jenga tower of narcissism and delusion.
(Probably why I adore the almost-certainly fictional story of Lao Tzu, who basically wrote one book and f***d off into the wilderness.)*
I’ve realized lower down the Messiah Tower of Babel-on are the Heroes.
The Heroes are people who aren’t Messiahs (yet) but want to fight a battle against darkness. They may not launch a Crusade, but they’re more than ready to get on board with whatever you’re willing to hand them. They’re vital fuel for the Messiahs, at least the pathological ones.
I see a lot of Heroes on the internet - what are sometimes called Keyboard Commandos, the 101st Chairborne, and so on. People who are ready to talk a big game, who want to be involved - as long as they just keep typing. They feel important for posting the latest meme, even if they’re at best a cog in a large social or propaganda machine.
I see plenty of Heroes ready to get sold a cause they can support if it’s not too hard.. They can “help the children” or “stop the conspiracy” or whatever. They’ll gladly donate or buy some merch or whatever is offered to them. They are happy to provide money so they feel good, funding whatever the Messiah Of The Month is. Maybe they even go to seminars and so on, shelling out funds to take hours of courses that will just get them to pay more.
Finally, there are the Heroes who take action - and make things worse or create more problems. They’ll go on some “mission” for whatever grifter they latched onto that invades privacy, disrupts lives, or accuses the innocent of crimes. Some of them do various forms of misery tourism where they “help” others by swooping in, take a few photos, and pretend to care for an hour. Hours just end up engaging in what is bluntly terrorism, their Hero status replaced with people screaming “false flag” or “lone wolf” - especially the Messiahs they followed.
The heroes are the foot soldiers - and cannon fodder - of the various would-be Messiahs. They’re much easier to rile up today with mass media, internet connectivity, and weakened social bonds. You can sell them a fantasy to keep your grift going with ease.
They’re also easy to rile up because of our media. So many tales sell hero stories, where the hero is righteous, supposedly humble, and of course ultimately justified in their actions. We’ve been told we have to be James Bond, Aragorn, and Jack Reacher. Of course, people want that, and are glad to buy a simulation by whoever will sell it to them.
We need more people who are people, not Heroes following a script. They’re just Messiah fuel.
- Xenofact
* If you wonder my actual take on the Tao Te Ching, in my limited knowledge, I think there were a few writers who held the title Lao Tzu and that solidified a political guide to the Taoist mystical philosophy.
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