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somany-fandoms-solittle-time · 1 year ago

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“What’s so Special About the Moon?”

Jamil Viper x MC(insert character Mac)

Ch. 1 – (Ch. 2) – Ch. 3 – Ch. 4 – Next – Previous

Holy FUCK seasonal depression has been hitting early this year and it’s been taking foreverrrrr to finish this chapter, type it up, and edit it!!! I’ve more or less got a good idea of where the last two chapters are headed, but all I’ve written are the first and last paragraphs if I’m being completely honest. ON THE OTHER HANDDDDD, my therapist recommended a nonfiction book about writing that I’ve put on hold at the library mom mom works at (le *gasp* Author Lore). But n e way… It was a bit of a challenge trying to write a tad more into Jamil’s perspective without completely saying the quiet part out loud. He’s constantly contradicting himself because of his childhood trauma so I added my own trauma onto my oc as a lil ~Treat~ to myself. I experimented a little bit with the separate aspecs of Jamil, but I’m not entirely sure how well I pulled it off. Feel free to leave a comment or any advice over what you thought or how I can improve! Except anything to do with Mac. Mac is basically just me if I was seeped in more trauma and I had developed my skills more…

NOTE: IF YOU GET TRIGGERED OVER DESCRIPTIONS OR DEPICTIONS OF DISSOCIATION, MILD SELF HARM, DEPRESSIVE SPIRALS OR ANYTHING OF THE LIKE SKIP THIS CHAPTER/STORY AND GO CUDDLE UP WITH SOMETHING A LITTLE LIGHTER (no shame y’all. We all have those days where all we can handle is Fluff and/or Smut without all the extra heavy feelings.)

True to word, Mac had practically dragged Adeuce and Jack, along with a ragtag group of other NRC students, apparently “following orders” to finish the cleaning process. Kalim had also insisted that they could still use the laundry room even though Jamil was taking the rest of the day off—which meant all he could do was stew in his room while going over his prior conversations and figure out the best way to ignore how much it affected him.

But just because he was (stubbornly) ignoring running into the Perfect again doesn’t mean he wouldn’t listen in. Jamil knew the dorm’s infrastructure before it was even built! Every keyhole and secret passage way was at his disposal.

On quiet feet, and motivated by a raging headache, the dark-skinned Vice Warden slipped through the halls and walkways of Scarabia. He made sure to have a pair of wireless headphones resting around his neck (to slip on for a believable excuse). They were currently off, so he could keep his ears open to any disturbances, but his right hand hovered nearby just in case.

Mentally, Jamil took note of the heat rising with the desert sun. MC was smart enough (and willing) to start early in the morning. Even with how drowsy xey were, barely dressed and pathetically trying to make the numerous piles of laundry look presentable. They were an idiot. And apparently an observant, suffocatingly kind, filter-less, crass, overbearing Auntie of an idiot as well. So much like Kalim… Uncomfortably close to Kalim’s personality but more matured. Understanding (as much as he hated to admit it).

“So stupid,” Jamil whispered under his breath with a frown. Even still, the long track combined with swirling heat only fueled his practiced, calculating mind. This would be the least opportune moment to evaluate his observations over all the nonsense that Mac had been saying over the course he’d ‘known’ them… He was FAR too worked up in his room to think properly, but now his brain foolishly circled back to early that morning in-time with his silent steps.

. . . . . . .

Before the magicless (legal adult) freshman made their stiff exit, back when Jamil was analyzing each and every twitching muscle in xeir clenched jaw, Jamil was attempting to fire back with a quip. There would be no way for the two to be able to continue working in such tense atmosphere MC had created. He was about to tell them off or make up an excuse, when his more childish monologue betrayed his consciousness.

Everything they said was so unfair. So blisteringly close to the truth, but blunt and lacking the usual grace, empathy or even a teasing lilt. Mac’s usual tired, dragged out fond sarcasm, like an older sibling trying to teach the youngsters without sounding too parental, was long gone. In it’s place was the same forceful, pinprick power int their eyes he’d seen through the cloud of Blot. Somehow, between hallway conversations and Jamil threatening their life, the Ramshackle Perfect had found a crack in his wall and stared him down.

Dishonest. He’d called Jamil out for being dishonest as if it wasn’t just the ingrained second-nature of a resentful servant, born and breed to stalk any threats to the boy that owned his life. His falsehoods had only ever hurt fools and ruffians who vied for Kalim’s life. No one else minded his shifting tongue or blank and burned-out eyes. No one bothered. This was what he was made for.

“Just because you’re not hiding your bitter, knee-jerk reaction from an unfair world doesn’t mean you aren’t still hiding away and lying about your more vulnerable emotions.”

They had no right—no FUCKING RIGHT—to say any of that to him. What could they know about being someone’s shadow? About being stuck shadowing the overbearing rays of the sun? Bound by the pull, the gravity of the two boys birth, Jamil would forever be orbiting just outside of what he can never have. Denied the attention, the affection, the true praise for all the great accomplishes he had to forefeet to a spoiled, airhead brat! Everything he’d been denied since he was just a child…

And yet, there was some part of himself that couldn’t lie about how they were right. How xey might know, at least to some extent, what he had been through. The tiredness, the pitiful, the soulless look deep in his eyes that would fade in and out of reality hinted to just how cruel of a life Mac must’ve had (or at least what they remembered of it) lived. Did he know what it was like to be used? To be looked past? Could their life had led to perpetual people pleasing or hiding xemself for survival or constantly worrying about what would happen if xey ever upset anyone… ever made a mistake?

Could they be so similar? Even with how happy and carefree and Kalim-like they were during the day?

They were infuriating… Oh, Great Merciful Seven, he had never felt so invigorated. It was frightening. It was exciting.It couldn’t go any farther than this moment or else all that he’s worked for would simply disappear.

An eight year old Jamil, shoved deep down in the vipers den, was screaming and flailing his arms to be noticed. To be recognized by such ad honest and trusting and supportive figure like--

Jamil’s mind had already been jumping through extra hoops than his regular mental gymnastics in order to process and combat the Perfect’s comments. It was making him feel far too vulnerable. Like a mothering hen, Mac couldn’t keep out of anyone's business. Even when they were so clearly already run ragged and probably on the verge of snapping.

It was almost ironic, how overly worried and caring and just… persistent they were when it came to the students of NRC. Especially towards the ones that had gone out of their way to hurt xem. How could it be possible that this nosy stranger, that came out of nowhere, could simultaneously be so cautious and caring towards someone they obviously… didn’t deserve their kindness. Jamil had received constant reassurance from the paradoxical force of nature that is the Ramshackle Perfect.

It was so unfair. How Jamil was this dark & twisted, manipulative asshole who’s had to pretend to be the perfect, caring servant. AND MAC! That moron got to be the enamored exasperated force that everyone flocked towards without having any real skill? Xey had even less to their name than Ruggie and yet the charisma and favor that only Kalim could harness. Was that how the two became friends? Some secret power those two perfected at their bullshit “Music Club” in order to blind the rest of us peasants to bend to their will!!! (Of course not Jamil, neither are smart or cruel enough to pull something like that).

Even on days like this, when the Perfect was snappy and apathetic, they were 100x more genuinely thoughtful and kind. What gave him the right to be so bitchy and always know better? MC couldn’t possibly be that much older…

. . . . . . .

Just as Jamil was getting frustrated with trying to rearrange his thoughts, he heard Mac directing the small herd of students.

“Okay, Sebek and Jack! You two can carry the most—”

“What about the Great Grim Hench human! Myah!”

“—and have pretty decent control over that floaty spell—”

“Human! I have already informed you—”

“Can it, you unfriendly Green Giant! Once more, the two linebacker fuckers (seriously how are y’all 16 and NOT on steroids) and Grim, I guess, will grab the thick curtains and the runner rugs. Ruggie could run—heh—run down to Sam’s to grab whatever fancy thread and whatnot to fix the throws. That pile of blankets aaaaaaaaand that miscellaneous crap also needs so mending, right Rugs?”

“Shye shee shee, sure thing Boss! An’ who’s tab will our order be account’d for?”

“Ughh, if Sam won’t let you put it directly on Crowley’s personal account then tell him it’s for the school…. It’s technically not a lie so~”

“Gotcha!” There was already a sound of shuffling and light small talk, but the easy banter and direction between the two made Jamil restless. When had MC and Leona’s hyena lackey become so close? When did they start working together so seamlessly?

“OK… Silver. You up for a quick fetch quest?” Silver’s soft yet serious reply also shocked the Vice Warden. Why were the Diasomnia students even HERE? Jamil had thought Silver was visiting Kalim?!

“Of course. Fa—Lila had instructed Sebek and I to assist you in any way we can. You’re a valuable friend of his after all.”

“Kid, chill. Lils and I gossip and rock out in club together. We don’t have a Blood Oath or something,” Mac huffed out a small, tired laugh, “But thanks for the help anyhow! All I need you to do is run over to Heartslybul and check if Riddle would be willing to check over the china and silverware in Ramshackle. The main dinning room is just left of the Kitchen, down the hall a ways. The door should be unlocked (not that that would stop any of you crazy ass wizards) but if not, just let the Ghosts know you’re helping out. I let them know we’ll be busy for the next coupla months.”

“And how are you planning to get our tea-sized tyrant to do all that?” the red-headed Freshman asshole asked his friend with a snarky tone.

“Ace…!”

“Knock it off Ace!”

“You’re not funny man.”

A cacophony of voices followed in argument before the someone let out a snort, “… It’s a little funny.”

“Guys, just ignore him. Anyway, Silver, on the long table has all the bit and bobs of dish sets I was able to scavenge so far. There’s also a few boxes of stuff crammed in the hallway closet, but I haven’t had time to check if they’re in good shape or not.”

“Trey-Senpai said something about convincing House Warden Riddle to lend you an extra tea set. Who knows how many we’ve got stored away in the dorm, I mean, we’ve used a different set with every Birthday and Unbirthday!” Mac’s Freshman blue guard supplied with earnest.

“Oh la la~ Deuce, could you go with Silver and track Trey and Cay down as well? Cater already promised to help touch up the ballroom in exchange for some behind-the-scene selfies, but if y’all remind them I’ll be taking care of Heartslybul Resident Troublemakers for a while I could talk Trey into updating the kitchen a little!”

“And I guess that means it’s just the two of us~” One half of the Trouble Makers teased.

“Ace… You get to help Rugs! And I think we could use some extra soap and—look at that! It’s practically lunch! Everyone, let’s meet back at Rams in 30 so Ace-kun can treat us to some lunch.”

“What’re you planning to do, Perfect!” He snapped back in retaliation.

“I still need to collect what’s out on the clothes line, fold ‘em and wait for this last load to finish drying. After lunch, a few of us can finish mending what can be salvaged and iron or steam whatever needs it. If this takes longer than an hour, just start putting shit away and I can fix it later.”

“Grrrmph… This’ll take all day!” Grim whined at nearly a decibel only dogs could hear.

“Relax Grim, you already got to nap half the day. Think about it this way… by this time Monday the dorm will be halfway livable!” Mac sarcastically cheered in response.

After a moment of two of grumbling from the first years, and a few goodbyes, Jamil could hear the mages-in-training all leave Scarabia’s laundry room and make their way through the commons. Instead of heading back to start lunch (it is TECHNICALLY his day off), he continued to listen to the shuffling of cloths being handled. Which was quietly drowned out by the sound of Mac humming to xemself.

Really, he should have left by now. Why would he want to risk the chance of being dragged into more cleaning that wasn’t even his priority. (Why did he still feel the need to manage and control other’s work?! It’s just adding more stress to his already full plate by sticking his hand in--)

Starling Jamil out of his thoughts, Mac started to sing lightly under their breath. Somewhere in the back of his mind, the Sophomore remembered Kalim excitedly prattling on about how Xe’d become an “unofficial member” of the Pop Music Club. The quartets sporadic sleepovers (for gossiping, exchanging new music, watching movies, light partying) had recently become a bi-monthly event.

“You are so much more than your father’s son/ You are so much more than what I’ve become/ Long before you were born there was light/ Hidden deep in these young, unfamiliar eyes/ A million choices, though little on their own/ Become the heirloom of the heaviness you’ve known.”

Mac knew they were close to dissociating. It was why they made sure to kick everyone out before someone commented on it. Xe’s pretty sure either Ace or Jack were on the verge of probing them when it took them a full ten seconds for xem to laugh at Ruggie’s joke (something about Grim getting his fur all over the white sheets while napping).

After finally having a private space to breath, the pent up guilt and anguish came back to bite them like a vengeful bitch. Hot pressure, like a balloon expanding in his chest, ready to burst even from the tiniest prick, closed their throat back into a steady hum. Hot pressure. Hot machines. Even the humid air made Mac feel like zey were floating and melting at the same time. Xeir hands continued the practiced motions while screeching words resonated deep in their head. Xe kept humming even as a play-by-play echoed back all of his worst apprehensive and aggressive and obnoxious comments. By now the room must’ve been bubbling, threatening to boil over and pop the picturesque serenity; sunlight stabbed through the windows enough to blind the rooms image and even making it impossible for Mac to simply see the cloth in zeir hand.

Gasping for breath, they finished singing: “… When you inherited/ A fight that you were born to lose/ It’s not your fault/ No, it’s not your fault/ I put this heavy heart in you/ I put this heavy heart in you.”

At some point, Mac dropped whatever aged silky item they were mindlessly folding to scratch at xeir arm. It was a practiced movement; a purposeful, forceful movement that left harsh, heavy, thick red lines up and down his rough, patchy forearm… just barely grazing a faded tat in the center of their wrist. Up and down. Up and down. Up and Down. Jamil decided to take his chance now, before their blood could dye the freshly cleaned laundry.

“It’s getting late, isn’t it?” He tried to stay cordial and neutral to not startle them too bad, but Xe still practically jumped while turning around. How troublesome. “Why don’t you go meet up with the others? I’ll just take care of what’s left here.”

“Shit! J-Jamil, you sneaky sonuvabitch… One of these days I’mma put a bell on you!” The startled Perfect rambled a little breathlessly. They were still trying to come back into their own body that zey hardly realized what Jamil even said. After a few moments they finally processed the emotionless order that was given. “Dude, I already made you get up early on a Saturday morning. Don’t worry about it, okay?”

Jamil huffed at the verbal side-step. “MC, you’re about ten minutes from heatstroke,” He gave zem an annoyed, unimpressed frown when they tried to retort. “I was about to make some lunch and brew a little iced chai. You might as well have some before you finish up for the day.”

“Not a Chai person,” they replied in a rush.

“Scarabia is fully stocked with all of Kalim’s guest’s favorite drinks. At least drink a glass or two of water before the desert sun dries you up.” The banter Jamil returned sounded stiff, but encouraging; So inviting, even after Mac picked him a part like an entitled, wannabe Psych Major. It didn’t feel right to already be in his company again. Then again, xey were already pretty dizzy—dissociation, a mild panic attack, and dehydration paired with a casual case of overheating was a pretty gross cocktail for their body to handle.

The stress was really starting to affect xem lately. More nightmares, more… memories and fitful sleep led to a lower tolerance to the usual Hell that is NRC. On top of all that, it seems he might further fuck up the already unstable ‘friendship’ the two hardworking students had.

“Seriously, Viper you don’t have to feel like you need to smooth things over or take control to handle everything. What I said was none of my business, and all of this mess,” Mac stumbled towards the unfolded bundle they had been working on before feeling so woozy, “is my mess to deal with. I can grab a snack or something a little later.” They tried to put up a bigger front, but it was clear that their all-persistent (stubborn) resilience was breaking down with each degree raised in the room. It was an act coming to a close… And the only way for them to give in willingly was to force his hand.

“Mac. As the Vice Warden of Scarabia I can’t have you passing out.” Jamil blankly stated.

Fuck. The quiet tension edged with anxiety was not aided by their usual jokes. Both students were stubborn, but the magicless Perfect was tired and, as much as they did want to admit it, about to tip over any second. Better get it over with….

“Just for a minute.” Xey gave in.

(and as always, shoot out to @twst-beam and @krenenbaker for rehabilitating my love for writing and giving me feedback lol! I love reading your comments and tags so KEEP'EM COMING LOL!!!!)

#twisted wonderland #disney twst #disney twisted wonderland #twst #jamil viper #writing #creative writing #jamil x mc #jamil x oc #jamil x Mac (oc)#Mac (twst oc)#Aim's Writing Library 💜#chapter 2 #ch. 2 #lowkey angsty #this took fucking forever #wssatm #WSSATM

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tabby-shieldmaiden · 1 year ago

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I'm still working on my current WIP, which isn't really Shonen with Women. This is to practice finishing projects from beginning to end, from conceptualisation to posting. And I'm making good progress on that, writing 400 words a day.

And I do have a list of works I want to finish before engaging with a lot of Shonen umbrella works (presently it's all the books I bought but haven't read yet -> Bayonetta 1 and 2 -> finish Sailor Moon). This is to clear my watch/read/play list because I get to anything new. (And if I'm not done with my WIP yet, it may be more toyetic media so as to continuously motivate me to write; I tend to do best researching as I write).

I think I do want to share some ideas I have right now though. Also some thing which I want to do first.

My next WIP is probably a bit closer to SWW, even if it wasn't really conceptualised as such. It's post-apocalyptic fiction, it explores gender relations, I play around with tropes and cliches, I'm hoping to make it relevant to SEAsia as a story. And the current protagonist I'm conceptualising is probably going to be something special. When I write original fiction I tend to just make up ocs as I go along, but I think I have a pretty good idea of what she is even before putting down a word. She's blorbo from my brain to me.

I know I want to do yuri. One appeal from Shonen already is the homoeroticism. I think we should have Shonen yuri, as a result. Like just. Shonen lesbians. And avoid the heteronormativity prevalent in the genre too (it's both a heteronormative and homoerotic genre, funnily enough). Make them canon lesbians.

Though it would also probably be interesting to explore F/M in such a setting. I had discussed this with a friend before, but basically she pointed out that a part of the reason for Shonen's heteronormativity is because of the misogyny, because men typically aren't expected to really be invested in women's inner lives. So playing around with gender there could also be interesting. (My F/M couples will also likely be queer in some way, bi4bi, T4T, A4A, or any combination of them.)

I also do want to see if I can write a work that's also rooted in an aspec sensibility. This is mostly to do my part in creating an aspec culture in some way, beyond the flags and the emojis and the basic 101 stuff. I know it's possible within this genre. I mean, just look at the popularity of One Piece! I can do that but with more girls, I'm sure.

As for characters and themes, I think it'll be interesting to have a work about exploring the politics of disgust. Especially as it pertains to women/intersectional feminism. I'm even envisioning a protagonist already. I want her to have some sort of 'gross' power. And I know I want her to be curious about it. Like, if she can control people's large intestines, I want her to want to know what that means. If she learns she controls large intestines via talking to the bacteria in them, I want her to do things like buy some Yakult or fish meat out of a dumpster and try and see if she can communicate with that too. I want a curious protagonist, because I think they're fun to write.

I think I should be open towards the various subgenres found under the Shonen umbrella. Competition to be the very best, battle series, superhero, mecha, what have you.

I do kind of have a concept for a story that plays on 'elemental masters'. And especially when elements go beyond the Wuxing elements/the four classical elements (think stuff like the element of ice, sand, tech, what have you). Mostly, this is because a surprisingly large amount of Western Shonen is like this. I want to see if I can play around with it and do my own version. (Also more focus on female leads lololol.)

I want to read some classics like the Iliad and other epics, because they are very much proto-Shonen in a lot of ways.

I also think it would be really funny if I watched Ninjago and read Naruto simultaneously. BUT every time I finish a season of Ninjago I watch a woman-centred Asian film and every time I finish an arc of Naruto I read a Japanese novel written by a woman. And at the end I read the Wikipedia page on ninjas. I don't know what this will do to my brain exactly, but it will probably do something to my brain.

In all seriousness though, I think I would like to do silly exercises like that to ensure I keep getting ideas. Just need to think of more thematically appropriate silly exercises to do after that.

But yeah. Assuming I finish my watchlist, I guess the media I'll prioritise engaging with first is peripheral SWW, Shonen with female leads, and Shonen written by women. We'll see where all of that takes me afterwards. My watchlists tend to be fickle, but yeah. I guess I have a rough plan. Just gotta fuck around and find out where I go after that.

#also if you're reading this dana hi. what you said about the heteronormativity of shonen did stick with me.#tabby says something #shonen with women project

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farsidejr · 2 years ago

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[COMMS] • [PRNS] • [ASK] • [SUBMIT] • [ABOUT] • [TAGS]

IMPORTANT NOTES !!

i like things as a bookmark to reblog later, please be patient

if your account is blank and default, i will think you are a bot and block you

my art tag is "#farscribbles" and my chatting tag is "#its not my birthday"

Other Blogs / Socials

Reblog side-blog: @refarsidejr

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Art Fight: https://artfight.net/~Farsidejr

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QUICK ABOUT ME

you can call me Fars

white, aboy, aspec, singlet

multi fandom artist, mostly Roblox

prefer masc terms with they/them prns (gn terms are good too, so is he/him prns !)

my birthday is July 6th

i have a pet cat named Ruby :}

THIS BLOG IS SAFE FOR

MOGAI

clarifying, this includes trans, neopronoun users, xenogenders, aspec, mspec, non-monogamous, split attraction, etc. etc.

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respectful kinnies

typing quirks

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will add to this over time, ask me if you're unsure !

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i Will Not Interact with these people. i'm not gonna police your interaction, but i will probably block or just not respond if i get asks/comments on this stuff.

bigots, MAPs, TERFs, anti-anti, pro-ship, yknow the basics

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people who believe the concept of "non-traumagenic systems" is not harmful and are unwilling to learn why it is.

kinnies who think they have ANY relation to fictives.

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Hello Charlotte kinnies (unless i already know you), same as above.

BYF NOTES

i swear a lot

i am an adult and may occasionally talk about adult topics. nothing super explicitly NSFW, and all will be tagged accordingly.

i generally type in all lowercase

i'm a kinnie, you can find my kinlist in my About Me linked at the top

i hang out with a lot of fictives. if i say i was hanging out with such-n-such character, i'm not rping.

i use tone tags !! or try to. if you need one, lmk

i am thinking of using some neopronouns, i like the thought of being referred to as not just... gender

MINI QNA

Can I draw/post about your OCs/AU/etc?

absolutely !! just appropriately give credit and maybe tag my username in it or send it to me so i can see it :}

It's your birthday?!

nooo people just like sending me birthday wishes a lot

if you have any questions about any of this, feel free to ask !

#pinned post #its not my birthday #im op

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kh-oc-askblog · 4 months ago

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Main Rules

Verses; I am mostly a KH centric askblog/ rp, but I am also okay with most things as long as I am at least already somewhat familiar with the universe/ fandom in question. This can be discussed further in a direct message if you'd like to check if your verse is included. And of course, OCs are always welcome! Though we may need to plot in case of conflicts in lore if they're KH OCs, or just generally it's good to know more about each other's characters before we throw them at each other.

18+ preferred but not strict; I won't reject anyone's willingness to rp, but please remember that I may sometimes ask for space or may gently ask you not to rp if I feel overwhelmed or overly relied upon as an adult, especially as I personally haven't had role models to learn from to know how to handle interacting with kids/ teens, or just how to not sound too harsh around younger people. Like nothing against you all at all and I hope this didn't come across as belittling. So yeah, I'm going to be distant and probably ask way too much "is this an okay topic?" because I genuinely don't know.

Mature content; I do explore the same type of content raised in Kingdom Hearts canon such as abuse, grooming, mental health issues, suicide, some mentions of alcohol, displacement, etc. found in Kingdom Hearts/ Disney movies in general, but these things will be tagged with double slashes and then TW + the content "// TW: [content]". I do inexplicitly touch on further themes like CSA, PTSD specifically and self harm, but I do try to be subtle in these expressions and they tend to be shown through symbolism that acts as an allegory to these concepts. Even so, I will also tag them and may add a "allegory" note in brackets; like // TW: CSA (allegory), for example.

Mun takes many breaks; please remember that I tend to have brief bouts of fast replies in between breaks, so just remember that I'm not ignoring replies and not to overly pester the mun. I kindly ask for small reminders if I've really taken too long, but please keep in mind that I tend to take regular mental health and physical breaks due to disabilities, irl obligations and ongoing struggles with mental health.

Basic DNI, but also; TERFS/ transphobes (including transmeds, mun is bigender soo), queer exclusionists (I respect mspec and aspec here), Zionists (again, I have many anti-zio Jewish friends and Palestinian friends, one of which is like basically family to me so please go away if you're pro Israel/ anti-Palestinian), and while I won't say DNI per se to antis, please know I am neutral and/or friends with many pro ship people. I am politically anti-censorship, so I don't want people being "oh you're okay with X being into Y content?" when I very much do not care for erasure of any media, yes even "bad" ones. Basically just DNI if you are right wing or use right wing rhetoric.

Other things to know; please don't make fun of how I write. Constructive criticism is welcome and encouraged, but don't just be like "ew your sentences are too long" or "haha OCs are cringe" or "your art sucks!" because I'll obviously just block if you start being mean about it or don't really give anything properly constructive. Of course, I am not my characters; they may be rude or say things I would not. As for art/ writing, I tend to have my own habits and some of them I can't really help, including long sentences since I have had a history of being talked over or misunderstood, so I tend to clarify when I'm anxious (which I'm always lol). In the end, it's all fun and games so it's best not to take things overly seriously. I also tend to scratch out acknowledgments to brands/ content that I am boycotting due to their unethical practices. This is just a personal way for me to give them the finger while also not claiming things that genuinely aren't mine.

Swearing; I try not to, though I can sometimes default to it when stressed, angry or tired, so I apologise if that happens in ooc and I will try to keep it contained, especially for those who may find swearing triggering. As for my characters, they don't use them since KH canon doesn't. They use the same type of dialogue as the English Dub of Kingdom Hearts, so no extreme examples of cussing, but some "playground rude words" like "hell" or "shut up".

AI policy; I prefer not to use it for writing or art and may be less inclined to rp if they are used by other muns. This isn't so much a judgemental thing per se, but I just have mixed feelings as an artists who has closed down a lot of previous places due to AI training. This place is an escape, so I would prefer not to really be confronted by AI content or talk of it, please.

So basically! Don't be a dickhead and chances are we can get along just fine, I'm generally really chill with whoever people are and what people believe. I am always up for talking out differences, but please just remember to be respectful and remember that this is a place for rp, fun asks and sometimes even just escapism for me ngl. If you wanna contest a point in the above, I'd prefer if you reached out on my main; @royalberryriku, and that I have limited spoons so I may be slow.

Disclaimer and acknowledgements; All art used for OC asks and in rps are my own. I may use filter layers to create atmosphere, but the art used will ultimately be my own works. Meanwhile any pictures of canon Kingdom Hearts characters I may rp as NPCS or include in answering asks, or any settings depicted that are within the Kingdom Hearts universe, are the property of Tetsuya Nomura and the development team of Kingdom Hearts; owned by Square Enix and Disney. Gifs used for displays are from Tumblr's selection and always have the creator underneath.

#// Rules #// OOC #// Verses #// Information #// Pinned -> Subcategories

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redley-of-many-noodles · 1 year ago

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Let me start this by saying that I fully support aspec individuals as members of the queer community. They have consistently been unfairly punished for our own inability to think of relationships beyond romantic or sexual contexts. I cannot claim to understand what it’s like to be asexual, aromantic, or anything else. I’m just another allo transfem who just wants to find a person to cuddle and hug and kiss and whisper sweet nothings to in bed.

Let me also say that I’m sure that you’ve been through a great deal of shit due to our poor understanding of aspecs, OP.

And know that I direct what I am about to say not at your asexuality or aromanticism or your identity — but directly at YOU, OP, and everyone else who says shit this dumb. (Or maybe I’m the dumb one; I’ll find out soon.)

Fuck. You.

Like, why can’t we just appreciate the art? Or is the character being drawn “attractive” all that draws you to it?

Bitch, how DARE you assume that just because I think someone’s OCs are attractive I can’t APPRECIATE THE ART. And YES, I read OP’s pinned post so that I could insult them in the correct gender. In fact, Imagi actually seems like a pretty cool person! But they can still SHOVE THIS POST UP THEIR ASS REGARDLESS.

I get that it may seem like we make everything about love and sex. I get that so many of us just don’t know how to think outside of those boxes. Believe me, if nothing else, I GET that humans are dumb little shits.

But we don’t.

Not everything is about love or sex to us.

We can stop to smell the flowers for no better reason than they smell nice. Same as you.

We can stop to watch a sunset simply because the colors are pretty. Same as you.

We can listen to the sound of rain on our windows for no other reason than because it’s relaxing.

Same as you.

We can look at a piece of art and see that it is beautiful.

Same. As. You.

I have seen so many aro/ace posts like this recently. And don’t mistake me, I love you little shits! But why, WHY do you do this? Allos are still human beings that go through life just like you. We’re not manic sex-cult fiends that can only ever think about love and sex. Allos are normal and valid. Aspecs are normal and valid. ALL OF US ARE VALID. OKAY?!

I keep forgetting allos exist.

Do you? Do you really?

Then why do I see so many aspecs needing to constantly repeat that?

I’ve seen SO MUCH shit like this on my dash from other aspecs who — like the OP here — seem really cool as people! Which, in fairness to Imagi, their post was only the final straw for me! Basically since I first got on Tumblr I’ve been seeing these things. So I APOLOGISE FOR THE YELLING OP, IT’S NOT JUST YOU I’M MAD AT, BUT I AM PISSED OFF AND TOO DAMN SLEEP DEPRIVED TO FILTER MYSELF PROPERLY.

I am SO SORRY that so many people like me have treated you like GARBAGE and left you traumatized, when they should have been the ones there to SUPPORT YOU AND GO TO BAT FOR YOU. But I see so much shit about “i dont understand why allos x” or “did you guys know that allos y” or “i forgot allos existed!!!” AND IT PISSES ME OFF. IT PISSES ME OFF THAT SO MANY OF YOU SEEM TO JUST HATE ALLOS NOW. WE FAILED YOU, I KNOW. BUT THERE ARE SO MANY OF US THAT ARE NOT THOSE PEOPLE. THERE ARE SO MANY OF US WHO THINK YOU’RE AMAZING AND WANT TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOU. THERE ARE SO MANY OF US WHO ARE NOT BIGOTS, I SWEAR ON MY NAME.

I’m probably way out of line and being incredibly offensive, but I reiterate, I have no sleep and I must scream. In case I didn’t realize I was accidentally being wildly aphobic at 3 am when i typed this i wont tag it with anything but trigger warnings. But just… listen.

I cannot scroll through aspec tags without seeing casual condescension like this, or veiled slights at the intelligence and/or emotional range of allos. Yeah, I know, we’re a bunch of pigs who just can’t appreciate life for anything but love and sex. But please, for the love of garlic bread, hate the bigots, not the allos. Or better yet? Don’t hate. If your heart is strong enough for it, just don’t hate anyone. It causes so many problems.

Part of me suspects it’s mainly the more love/sex-repulsed aspecs who actually do any of the stuff I was talking about, but I stand by my point. I don’t want to be made to feel inferior because of my tendency to feel horny. I want to be an actual community with you, like we were supposed to be. I want to see you set aside your anger for joy. I want us to march together in the streets and be proud. I don’t want to alienate you or hurt you. I just want to be friends with you.

So fuck you.

Fuck you for dismissing me out of hand.

Fuck you for making me cry angry tears at 3 AM.

Fuck those of you who are immediately going to tell me to cry harder now that I’ve said that.

Fuck you for making me feel like the weird one for feeling these attractions. We’re both weird, asshole. That’s the point.

Imagi, I feel like I stopped addressing you and started addressing aspecs in general a while ago. But I’m sorry for going on an angry tirade on one of your posts and possibly triggering you as a result. And fuck you for implying that allos can’t actually appreciate art, even if the rational side of my brain says it was probably unintentional.

I will not take it personally if your or anyone else decides to block me after reading this. I know damn well I shouldn’t be writing angry, especially while already sleep deprived, but I can’t help myself.

But what I ultimately want to say and could’ve said much sooner is:

Please stop “forgetting” allos exist.

Please stop loudly wondering how our brains work.

Please don’t shun us all for the actions of those who didn’t try to understand you.

I think I’ve written it all out of my system. I don’t really know what else to say. Just… I don’t want to be belittled for being allo anymore than you all want to be shunned for being aro/ace. Okay?

I look at art and go "Aww! That's so pretty! How you drew the characters is cool!"

Then I get confused when people go "Hot!!"

I keep forgetting allos exist.

Like, can't we just appreciate the art? Or is the character being drawn "attractive" all that draws you to it?

Yes, I can agree that a character and/or the artstyle can make a character...attractive? Like I want to crawl into the picture and hug the character, maybe give them a kiss on the cheek.

But, really?

"Hot?"

It baffles me beyond belief.

#tw: aphobia #cw: caps

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otome-crow · 3 years ago

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How Aspec is Mankai?

This is just a list of A3 characters I feel may be on the asexual or aromantic spectrum. As an aroace myself, I always wind up looking for myself in characters. With the A3 boys, there’s very little that’s canon (that I’ve seen) about their sexualities. Some of the older boys flirt with Izumi, Sakyo canonically has a thing for her, and Yuki once mentioned that he’s into girls. That’s literally all I can remember.

Because it’s a joseimuke game, the emphasis isn’t on their love lives or sexual interests, so there’s a LOT of wiggle room for headcanons. Obviously, I’m pro-everyone’s headcanons and I love reading all of them :) Frankly, I don’t even HC what I’m writing all of the time; it’s just a sense I get. A lot of characters are here, not because I think Mankai is some kind of aspec sanctuary (although, let’s be honest, a dorm of 24 hot guys and not one of them has a partner in 3 years??? c’mon), but because my HC’s rotate around depending on what scenarios or AUs or whatever I’m playing with. I might see a character as ace one day, and the next time I play with them, I see something else. The glory of interpretation and media :)

I’m also chucking in my basic assumption on the rest of them. I’m dealing only in sexuality, not gender. I also wind up bringing a lot of my personal bias and experience into this, since I’m a sex-repulsed aroace myself. I know a lot of people don’t have these same experiences, so I want to make them clear.

Spring Troupe, IMHO, is like 65% aspec.

Sakuya: Ace, possibly/probably aro.

He’s so absolutely devoted to the guys that he seems way more into “bromance” than anything else.

I know a bunch of that is the fact that he never had a family and he just gloms onto these guys who become his family, but it’s like there’s no room in his life for anything else. He puts ALL of his energy into the platonic relationships around him and seems to have absolutely no interest in romance or other people (in a relationship way).

He’s one of the only (18+) guys who doesn’t flirt or blush around Izumi AT ALL. Even Tsuzuru (who’s next on my list) flirts, and even Juza gets flustered around her sometimes.

My guess is that because he’s so young, and so wrapped up in theatre and the guys in Mankai, he’s not even thinking about looking for a partner - in fact, he’s probably not even realizing that he’s not looking! The fact that none of the other guys have partners helps isolate him from realizing this.

Whether or not he’s aro, I do definitely see him seeking out a long-term partner (either romantic or QPR) someday - probably as he settles into himself a bit more and sees the other guys start to move into romantic relationships of their own.

I figure that if his partner was allo, he’d be a very sex-positive ace and would absolutely enjoy sex and enjoy pleasing his partner, but without a partner (or with a sex-repulsed partner), I doubt he’d give it much of a thought. (For the record, I do not have a steady HC for him about this - this one’s more theory than belief.)

Tsuzuru: Demiace. Definitely not aro.

This is 100% because of the way he evolved when I created an OC for him and dreamed up a huge story that’ll never get written down because it’s too complicated.

Thing is, like Sakuya, Tsuzuru seems absolutely clueless about romantic relationships.

I feel like it would take him a long time to realize that he didn’t seem to be “progressing” the way a lot of other guys his age were when it came to the physical side of relationships - because he hadn’t ever really had a relationship.

Like, he wouldn’t even notice that most people his age have had girlfriends or boyfriends and have had SOME kind of sexual experiences - and if they haven’t had them, they’ve thought about them.

If he bothered to think about it, he’d just decide he was too **busy** to think about it because it’s not a priority compared to working 16 part time jobs to help your family.

When he finally does get into a romantic/sexual relationship, he’s really surprised at how STRONG some of these feelings are but doesn’t really wonder about why he’s never felt it for anyone else.

(Y’know, for a guy who writes about people and relationships, he doesn’t realize how much he doesn’t know - or since he writes about platonic stuff 95% of the time, maybe he does?)

But then he realizes that his partner has some of those feelings for, like, random hot people they see on the street. Not judgey about it with them, just a little weirded out. Is way more okay with it once someone (probably the partner) helps him figure out the whole “demiace” thing.

(I 100% HC him as demi. Like, this is a standing HC that I don’t see changing for me.)

Itaru: Possibly aroace.

He could also just be lazy about other people and more into his games than anything else, or just have a low sex drive, or be ignoring it all because of his Trust Trauma.

But the fact that we see him charming the shit out of everyone around him with the Popular Prince Persona, and we hear about all the girls that like him at his job, but he only seems annoyed by them…..

If he were screwing around at his job, Chikage would have said something by now.

(Granted, this is a mostly-clean game, so WE wouldn’t hear about it - but he’d probably mention SOMETHING, like Itaru taking out one of the secretaries for a date or something. Right? Just to rub Itaru’s nose in how much he knows about him?)

(Like some of his very early backstage stories talk about the girls at work pestering him and maybe he should give one of them the time of day…but it‘s played like a joke. And later stories abandon that completely.)

So he’s not getting sex there, and he’s not going out on dates that Mankai is aware of.

BUT. He also flirts a lot with Izumi and I definitely kinda ship them in canon (and I also have an OC for him and their relationship is sexual), so….I have no real HC for Itaru, but he does sometimes give off ace vibes.

I think he might want a relationship one day, but he’s like 26 and has NEVER mentioned a former relationship. (Granted, he’s got trauma about trusting people, so that could easily play into it.) The flirting with Izumi could just be habit, part of the Prince persona….

I don’t know, he’s confusing.

Chikage: Sex-repulsed aroace.

Now, to be fair, I don’t have a great grasp of his character.

But I DO get that he’s very, very uncomfortable with women.

He could just be gay - that’s fine!

But a lot of his standoffishness, that most ppl relate to him being a spy, reminds me of me and how I relate to the world.

Like 90+% of the world is experiencing all this stuff, and exchanging energy and understandings, and I have NO IDEA WHAT THEY’RE ON.

It keeps me from wanting to connect to people, just in case. Like, I’m often nervous about being too chatty or too friendly because I don’t know if someone’s going to see me as flirting.

I dunno, maybe I just feel disconnected from people in a way that seems familiar in Chikage’s character.

But the fact that he can only be comfortable with Izumi when he stops seeing her as a woman - ie, she is now a non-sexual being to him - just hits me close to home.

He seems to want a family more than anything else. I know there’s a lot of April/August/December poly stuff out there, and cool :) To me, it seems like the emotional connection was most important to him.

(As for the others - I see Masumi as pan. He wants someone to love, someone to love him back. I don’t think gender factors into it. TBH, Citron is a complete mystery to me. I definitely think he’s into girls - he’s a MAJOR flirt! - but whether he’s also into guys or is pan or just straight, I don’t freaking know. But he’s definitely DTF.)

Summer Troupe is a little young, but here we go. Only one :)

Muku: Somewhere on the ace spectrum. Possibly aro (hear me out).

It’s the reliance on fictional media to fulfill something that’s uncomfortable in the real world.

That’s something I do, too, and it’s a really common occurrence for aces.

All of his romance is fictional.

We know that girls like him, but he doesn’t seem to realize they exist - yet he still wants to be someone’s prince!

To get your “crushes” only on fictional characters (or in your imagination) without realizing it, because you will never be required to DO anything to/with them.

To take all your cues on romance from fiction because RL romance is uncomfortable, makes no sense, or both.

Like, all of the allos I know had crushes on real life people. If you asked them to put together a list of people they wanted to sleep with - or even just kiss! - that list would include a mix of fictional people, celebrities, and people they know in real life.

The funny thing is, because he’s SO obsessed with fictional romance, I think most people wouldn’t see him as aro. But I’m aro and I’m 100% obsessed with fictional romance lol.

I have romantic OCs for most of the characters I like in fiction, I read romance novels, I play otome games religiously.

But I don’t want any of that in real life.

It’s possible Muku is the same.

Muku is 100% obsessed with fiction, and doesn’t seem to even SEE that girls are around him or like him.

However, BECAUSE of his fascination with being someone’s prince one day, I’m hesitant to truly HC him as 100% anything.

He may simply be oblivious and daydreamy and a late bloomer.

If he IS on the ace spectrum, he’d probably be like Sakuya or Tsuzuru (you know, when he’s NOT A MINOR) - possibly Demi and/or very sex-positive and into pleasing his partner.

If he is aro, he still wants a QPR with a lifetime partner. He still wants to be someone’s prince.

(Yeah, everyone else in Summer Troupe is gay or bi. Sorry, but I don't make the rules.)

Banri: I see Banri as Aro, but not Ace.

To be honest, I don’t know why.

It’s just the vibe I get from him.

Like he doesn’t need or want anyone but himself.

Currently, probably because he’s still young, he’d be way more into FWB or casual dating, but probably not too much into random hookups.

Too much trouble, too much dancing around and getting drinks.

Just text a FWB, meet up, do the do, go home.

Or go out with his casual date partner, see a concert or play, go to the arcade, grab a bite to eat, whatever, THEN do the do and go home.

*shrugs*

Take it up with the manager.

May wind up with a partner, may not.

I don’t see it bothering him if he’s alone, he’s perfectly content in his own company.

He’s found something he’s passionate about that takes up his time and pushes him to do better; that could easily be enough for him.

Even if he does find someone that he loves enough to want to commit to, I can’t see him being **in love** in the way most other people are.

Azami: Sex-repulsed aroace.

Technically, there's a lot of reasons I feel this, but also a lot of reasons why this is a hesitant HC.

Is too young for me to truly want to HC him, but that desperate aversion to witnessing or being a part of physical affection is VERY sex-repulsed ace.

I will literally fast forward through sex scenes in movies, skip the pages in books, whatever.

Sometimes I’m cool with sexual contact in media (hello fanfic), but I’m always uncomfortable with it in real life.

Now, for Azami, this could also be his age combined with a restrictive upbringing.

But the thing that always makes me pause about Azami is that he seems to equate ALL physical touch to sexual touch.

“No sex til marriage” makes sense, but no hand-holding?

That only seems to make sense if you’re making hand-holding a sexual thing, or ALWAYS a step on the ladder TOWARDS sexual things.

Like, 3-year-olds hold hands. Obviously that’s not sexual.

But the moment it’s between two people of sexable age, he freaks out.

And, as someone who is a sex-repulsed ace, I always got really confused about physical affection when I was dating (before I knew this about myself).

Is my boyfriend holding my hand just being sweet? Is his kiss on the cheek just that? If we cuddle, is that physical contact permission for his hands to start wandering?

Every single act of physical affection became a (potential) gateway to sexual actions because I couldn’t understand or sense the difference.

There WAS no difference to me. The “vibes” that indicate the difference to allos is missing in me.

Sometimes a kiss was just a kiss, sometimes it was more, and I flat-out couldn’t understand intention through the subtlety of just physical touch.

Everything is the same to me, so EVERYTHING is potentially sexual. And therefore, every form of physical touch became a danger zone.

It seems to me that the same thing is true for Azami - literally every physical interaction is a sexual interaction, because he can’t ever see that it’s NOT.

So while I don’t HC Azami as ace necessarily (only he can say that, and his behavior is confusing), I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

As for aro or not, I have no idea, because I think the desperate desire to avoid physical affection is clouding the issue.

(I figure Juza as pan, Taichi thinks he’s straight until he realizes he’s in love with Yuki, Omi as bi, and Sakyo is the straightest straight guy who ever lived.)

Azuma: Ace, not aro.

The opposite of Azami.

All touch is non-sexual touch.

All flirting is non-sexual flirting.

Both of these things wind up being masking behaviors.

Like Itaru, Azuma seems to have people buzzing around him regularly.

If he wanted a sexual relationship, I feel like he'd have one. Pretty easily.

He jokes about things, but it seems more like everyone assumes things about him and his relationships and he just . . . lets them.

He even goads them on a little bit, but it all seems really jokey. Not serious at all.

While we have the word “asexual” going back to the early 70’s (and probably further), it wasn’t a really common LGBT+ word until, I’d say, the mid-to-late 2000s.

While Azuma’s age is unknown, we know he’s older than Sakyo, so that would probably put him around 35 IMO.

That means he was coming of age in the 90s and early 2000s. He was also, very heavily, a loner.

He had no adults in his life to guide him, no one to confide in.

What are the odds he would come across that word in his teens and early 20s?

All he knows is that he’s different, maybe even broken.

All these things he’s supposed to be feeling, especially since he makes his living via close physical contact, are missing.

Might blame his trauma.

So he flirts heavily but keeps his distance, to mask the actual lack of attraction he feels.

He lets people believe what they want about his former profession, but it’s probably one reason he was so popular as a cuddler…all the women felt safe even if they didn’t know that was the reason.

I’m guessing he’s sex-neutral - sex is a take-it-or-leave-it thing to him, and he’s mostly had one-night stands, and almost entirely to avoid spending the night alone rather than for the sex itself.

By the time someone (possibly Tsuzuru, as he figures it out about himself) brings the concept to him, it’s a shock to him that asexuality is just…a sexuality like any other.

He’s not broken.

I think he would still want a partner (he doesn’t want to be alone!), but whether that was one all-consuming love, or a polycule, I don’t really know.

I just know he wants love and romance in his life.

(I do not HC this all of the time - for some reason, canon Azuma gives me ace vibes, but my personal fanon Azuma doesn’t. Given that I’m about the same age as Azuma, I might be projecting my own history and trauma about feeling broken onto him.)

Guy: now, I refuse to HC Guy as ace, but he needs his own space here anyway because I have An Issue. (To be fair, I have not seen ANYONE in the A3 fandom do this to Guy!!!! But I feel like it needs to be said anyway.)

He, like some of the others, shows absolutely no interest in romance or sex.

BUT.

He’s repressed pretty much everything in order to survive his trauma growing up.

He made himself into an android - an android would be both asexual and aromantic.

I think he’s still healing from that and, at some point, will have to address his own sexuality.

Because I don't think even he knows what his sexuality is.

He may wind up being ace, but even if he is, that ace-ness needs to be separate from the whole android thing.

There’s so much that’s problematic about taking someone who thought they were a robot and diving right into “hur hur not wanting sex makes you a robot!”

It’s a false equivalency and it’s potentially damaging to the ace community, so I’m not having it here.

I think Guy’s history is really really sad, and I think the fact that he probably has no idea what his sexual/romantic orientation is is also really really sad.

HCing him as ace would feel (TO ME) damaging and disrespectful to the character.

I have NO doubt there’s aces out there who relate to him or like him because of the ace vibes and that’s peachy :)

He becomes a comfort character at that point.

However, the immediate jump society makes to “hur hur robot” or “hur hur plant” or any of the “you don’t like sex? you must not be human!” jokes?

Kinda done with it.

I’m saying what I want to say very badly, so I hope I’m not offending anyone here.

(As for the rest - Tsumugi is bi, Tasuku is definitely gay af, Hisoka is pan, and I can’t help but see Homare as straight for some reason (I KNOW I’m in the major minority here!) - but panromantic and with a low libido/mild touch aversion. Like I could see him and Azuma in a sexless romantic relationship or part of fuyupoly. Totally happy with the romance/family, not inclined to care about not having sex.)

And there we have it!

@moonstruck-writing seemed really enthused about this, so - tag!

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chisatowo · 3 years ago

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Hiii new pinned post time babeyyyy

Welcome! My name is Keese and I sure do post things sometimes. I generally try to mostly post fandom stuff, but I fail at that a LOT so be prepared to deal with a lot of oc posting if you follow me fndfbshfb. I generally just like to ramble abt stuff and analyze media and make aus and such, and I also draw sometimes. I generally try to tag basic triggers as cw [thing] and I am willing to tag other things if asked. That being said I am not comfortable tagging healed scars of any variety, so if that's an issue for you I'd advise you don't follow and block me if you need to. (Dni and extra stuff under the cut)

(Also, I have commissions open)

Dni (I'll probably add more later but this is what I could think of at the top of my head):

Transphobes, ace/aro exlusionists, transmeds, and y'know all that other typical dni stuff

Maps, proship, and whatever the fuck else all you pedos and pedo sympathisers like to call yourselves

Fans of dmsp, aot, hetalia, south park, and also probably other medias I'm forgetting but you get the idea

If you are against mspec bandori hcs. I promise you citing a rly gross quote from a guy who's barely involved if at all with the writing process for bandori isn't the slam dunk take you think it is my dude.

If you're one of those people who like to call some bandori characters abusers, I'm so so tired man.

Interests (bolded is what I most frequently talk abt):

Bandori

My ocs

Ace Attorney

Warrior cats

Vocaloids

Deltarune

Project sekai (I haven't read the stories yet though)

Some of my basic tags:

#rat rambles (basic talking tag)

#keese draws (art tag)

#rat rants (I try to tag my longer rants with this)

#rat vents (my vent tag. I try not to vent on here too much though)

#band posting (bandori talk tag)

#oc posting (oc talk tag)

#eternal gales (the tag for my main original story)

#warriors posting (warrior cats tag)

#lawyer posting (ace attorney tag)

#genshin posting (genshin impact tag)

#sekai posting (project sekai tag)

#vocaloid posting (vocaloid tag)

#delta posting (deltarune tag)

#dangan posting (danganropa tag, I don't post abt dr much anymore but just in case)

#cookie posting (cookie run tag, again another thing I don't rly post abt anymore but occasionally I relapse on that previous 2 year hyperfixation of mine that I now hate lol)

Some of my comfort characters :] :

Moca Aoba

Chisato Shirasagi

Rimi Ushigome

Lisa Imai

Yukina Minato

Ran Mitake

Rei Wakana

Hagumi Kitazawa

Like every other bandori character lol it's my biggest comfort media

Dodie (oc)

Sier (oc)

Aris (oc)

Tali (oc)

Looser (oc)

Busy (oc)

Dancer (oc)

Softie (oc)

Alpha (oc)

Melody (oc)

Ramp (oc)

Kay Faraday

Trucy Wright

Pearl Fey

Mia Fey

ONE (vocaloid)

Kaito (vocaloid)

Flower (vocaloid)

Fukase (vocaloid)

Gumi (vocaloid)

Rui Kamishiro

Mizuki Akiyama

An Shiraishi

Sayu (genshin impact)

Barbara (genshin impact)

Sucrose (genshin impact)

Jean (genshin impact)

Kris dreemur

Sparkpelt

Dovewing

Some bonus info abt me!:

I'm an acearo lesbian!!! I rant abt aro stuff sometimes

I love having fun gender hcs for characters, so I use a lot of non canon pronouns for characters. I also hand out aspec hcs to people like free candy fnfndurn

I am autistic and have adhd!!!

I generally prefer masculine terms, but am ok with gender neutral ones :] (Im agender btw)

I love talking abt my hcs and aus and stuff, so feel free to ask me abt them if you want!!

Some of my favorite bandori ships are chisahagu, yukiran, mayaeve, parechu, and polypa :)

There's some character relationships in bandori that I am deeply obsessed with but don't ship as a romantic thing, so know that's not usually me disliking the ship just me not personally hcing them as dating!

I generally do appreciate tone tags, but try not to overuse them since I'm not that bad at reading tone through text, I just overthink more vague statements a lot. If you do overuse them a bit I won't be mad so don't worry too much abt if you're using them too much, but just try to keep it in mind

I casually kin characters, with my biggest kins rn being Rimi, Moca and Lisa (Rimi is the big one though)

My endori player id is 7654777

My jpdori player id is 124144091

My jp proseka player id is 136166219262914560

Anyways. Pointy pog

Also pls like if you've read! Ik people probably still won't but I appreciate knowing if people are actually reading this rnfmdjdmf

#rat rambles #and now to lie on the floor I am very tired

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vvakarians · 4 years ago

Text

I need to be vulnerable for a second.

It’s been a year. I’ve made a lot of progress and am still uprooting shit I’ve been wading in for a while now. I’m growing and learning. But I’ve never gone into detail really, maybe on twitter and mentioned it a couple times but yeah. Been thinking a lot.

TW for Homophobia / Abuse

TLDR; My best friend was a shitlord and I spent ten minutes painfully sobbing about it. I’m fine lmao just needed to make a messy post.

Won’t be mentioning who they were on SM here but if mutuals who are and were friends w/ both of us want to know, hmu lmao. I sincerely hope y’all didn’t get shit on like I did

I’m so tired. I’m tired of knowing that someone I used to call my best friend literally cyberstalked me in a discord server and when I told them I wanted to have a space without them/wouldn’t be interacting with their character, they lost it.

I’ll call this person A. They were there for me through a lot but it got weird towards the end for sure. A was always clingy, always needed to be right (passed it off as an OCD thing), and always felt like they needed to be included in things I was doing. Abandonment issues due to trauma they said, still doesn’t excuse it but you know? Fine.

I identified as aro/ace for a long time bc I was severely traumatized. Someone thirst followed me and cornered me into a relationship/took my kindness for granted (Not A, not yet). A’s reaction was to assume I would never have time for them and we would drift apart, just because I had a partner. They complained about this to me and said that even if I was just their friend and QPP (we were both aro/ace) that they still felt I would abandon them. I tried to calm them down the entire time, this was October 2018. Three days later I had a severe PTSD break (unrelated trauma) and broke up with my ‘boyfriend’. A said it was the right decision and we left it at that.

Cut to me a year later having recovered a bit and realizing I had romantic feelings still. That I *wanted* to kiss and take someone out, and do heavily romantic things. During this time A and I had severe issues with D&D parties also where they would break down if they didn’t know everything and said that I couldn’t produce any part of my worlds for profit bc theh had contributed in a small way. It was a bad time. It lead to the complete disintegration of two relationships that I can...probably never get back. One of which I’m not sure I *want* back, but that’s a different story.

Basically they wanted to be the DM with half the credit despite only making npcs I could easily replace or cut out entirely. Now that I started playing again, I have.

I still was friends with them, still waveringly QPP’s with them. Though I’d often feel my skin crawl when they touched me or wanted to be in my space. This was all the time, not when I got triggered into a PTSD episode. I was annoyed when they wanted to always be in my space and have all my attention. But I felt obligated to A and had been recently traumatized again.

Even with all of this I wanted to come out as gay / mlm but still keep part of my aceness with me. Of course in feeling this, I approached A to let them know. Their response was to immediately come back with ‘we can do all of those things you want to do with a romantic partner’. Which I felt may be true for some aspecs but not me. I wanted to *be* with someone and not just...a friend. I wanted to have a boyfriend and be cheesy. I told A that it was probably true but I wanted something else. That I wanted space to think on what they had said. They came back with ‘you’re abandoning me. You just don’t like me. Everyone always leaves me’. Once again with the ‘you get a bf you’ll forget I exist’ rhetoric 🙃.

I told them that they weren’t the person I wanted to be romantic with. I was looking for someone else. I wasn’t attracted to them that way. They took that as an insult. Though to me they relented. Come to find out A got one of our mutual friends involved bc they lived in the same area. They vented and complained to them that I was going to abandon them, that I was punishing them, that they didn’t know what they did wrong. Which was behavior my parents exhibited when I was forced out as trans to them. That Inwas punishing them somehow for a misdeed or that they knew me better, they did something ‘wrong’.

The only outlet I had away from A was TikTok, we weren’t really doing D&D anymore because the party had dissolved due to their controlling habits. Every account I had was heavily monitored by A, I would vent and they would immediately pull it up and ask if I was okay. Even if I had explicitly said before that I was alright and needed some space. But TikTok was a place they barely went on. So I cosplayed more after our last visit (October 2019), and got a small following after joining a lovely d&d tag ran by one of my now closest friends. I also met my boyfriend through this tag, and several other very close friends. I made an oc that I integrated in one or two sessions of D&D before I completely stopped DMing.

Now, it gets worse. I get a following for cosplaying my oc Asariel Whately, join a server, and for a time have a pretty okay place away from A. Some breathing room. When I mentioned that Asariel (who we had talked about maybe being w/ an oc of theirs) was going to romance my now boyfriends oc in the tag, they got upset. They said that they were sad to see them with someone else, and asked if it could all be before my campaign/not actually be real. I told them no and that I’d continue doing what I wanted.

Well, after that and scouring my TikTok (i made the mistake of saying anything in the first place), they got invited to the server and started RPing/cosplaying in the tag. Which they’re allowed to do, but A has a history of wanting to be in my things and being the center of attention. When I say A got involved with *several* other characters, including a possible *minor*, that doesn’t even cover the worst of it. They got involved in a huge polyam relationship (which is fine, i’ll explain why their behavior was weird tho) that LITERALLY took up chunks of the whole server. Any time my bf and I got into chat to rp out some scene for Asariel and Fraanic, A was there to bury our scene in their own garbage. Could have been conicidence but who knows. Then the minor got added into the mix and most of us just had the server on mute/rped in DMs. It was so bad that other people noticed their bad behavior, meta gaming, and needing to be right.

Our relationship ended when someone from a private close knit server made up of all the people who wanted to remove ourselves from the toxic environment, outed our server. Said there was an nsfw server and A immediately jumped to say they wanted an invite. I panicked and DMed them for the first time in weeks to say that they couldn’t. That I needed space from them and this was the one place I had. We had a fight, they said ‘they’re my friends too’ and I pointed out that they had forced their way in, that I said I needed space. Eventually they gave up on it, thank god. But it left me wrecked for months. I didn’t create, I retreated into a two person server with my best friend who is now my boyfriend and just never looked back.

While I’m grateful that this massive upheaval gave me a new support network, got me into a good place for a romantic partnership, and allowed me to heal...I still have a lot of pain. I felt like I had been commodiefied, like an object because of how kind and soft and pliable I was. Because someone thought I was beautiful and *theirs* in the worst way. My ocs who are some of my largest coping mechanisms were tainted, I could barely play Dragon Age, couldn’t think about it. Because someone had conpletely obliterated my love for it. I hate to think they then continued to do that same thing to other people but I honestly have no clue what A is doing now. They dropped off the planet and honestly good riddance.

#i dont even know what to tag this as #personal #idk my person tags change a lot #tw homophobia #tw abuse

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romolite · 5 years ago

Text

*Important FAQ*

Aka questions that pertain to what I usually post about or stuff I don’t like getting asks about but continue to get asks about regardless.

[Insert any invasive question about my ethnicity/race]

I’m Ghanaian American. My parents were born in Ghana and I was born here in the US. I’ve seen it more on twitter and tumblr, but Black Africans don’t like me because I’m American, and black Americans don’t like me because I’m African. So I’m stuck in the middle lmao. I’m what you’d consider a First-Generation African, my parents are Continental Africans, and if I have children, they will be considered Generational African Americans.

First Generation African: A black person born in the US to parents who were born in Africa

Generational African American: A black person born in the US to US-born black parent(s)

Continental African: A black person born in Africa to parents who were also born in Africa

Non is just a prefix, black people don’t have a monopoly on the term! I suppose you think nonbinary people are racist huh?

Yeah sure it wasnt coined by black people but the context it’s currently used as was predominantly used by black people. ALL people who are not black benefit from and contribute to antiblackness, even if they are marginalized themselves. That kind of dynamic doesnt exist in other contexts (unless we’re talking about transfem + transmisogyny, but that’s something you’d have to talk to someone who is transfem about. Plus they have their own word for “non-transfem”). Using it in contexts outside of antiblackness is appropriative (Yall are annoying as fuck with the “non-aspec” “non-lesbian”(this term also has anti-bi roots btw) “non-bi” shit etc, stop it. You also can’t complain about the “replacement terms” lumping yall with oppressors when “non-x” does the exact same thing you’re so worried about. “Cis” puts cis gays with cis hets, cis disabled people with cis abled people, cis white people with cis poc, I could go on.)

Plus we’re talking about marginalized groups here. Black people are a marginalized group. Binary people as a whole are not so the term nonbinary isn’t appropriate at all. I dont take issue with terms like “nonamerican” or “nonwhite” because (obviously) whites + americans as a whole aren’t oppressed for being white or american.

Basically using "non-x” in contexts to talk about oppression bad, everything else good.

Follow up: If we can’t use non-[marginalized group], what can we use instead?

There are other words to describe the people you’re talking about

non-transfem- TME

non-LGBT- cishet, or people who aren’t LGBT

non-trans - cis

Black people don’t have a monopoly on the acronym nb! I’ll call myself nb if I want to!

At this point I dont really care, go on your antiblack crusade elsewhere and out of my inbox, I’m always gonna mean nonblack when I use the acronym nb.

And yes, you’re antiblack as fuck if you think black people telling you “nb” stands for “nonblack” is the same as exclusionists claiming “aspec” is for autistic people.

Is x AAVE?

I have a tag dedicated to what is and is not aave and how harmful it is for nonblacks to use aave given its history. I know some things overlap with southern culture but others are specifically for black people. A lot of “stan twitter” language/slang is just repackaged AAVE. No, I can’t tell you how to stop using AAVE. Don’t tell me you’re going to try to stop using AAVE, I don’t want to hear it.

Why don’t you like the n-word being compared to LGBT slurs?

Race and Sexuality/Gender aren’t comparable topics because each deals with a different history of oppression. I don’t care about slur discourse that much because I don’t even use/reclaim any myself except the n-word.

I have a problem with nonblack LGBT people co-opting black culture and struggle(like they always do), especially for trivial online discourse.

And to be honest it goes deeper than slur discourse. Every other day someone is weaponizing the oppression of black trans women, or comparing “cishet aces/aros” in the LGBT community to white/nonblack people invading black spaces (you know, something that ACTUALLY takes resources away from the people who need it, see the cultural appropriation of Black African and Blac American culture in literally any nonblack community while black people get demonized for said culture), or tokenizing their black friends to get away with something blatantly racist. And that’s not even getting into how a lot of gay slang/stan culture is just repurposed AAVE/black culture.

And I’m not gonna lie, I’ve seen this more with exclusionist accounts than inclus accounts, but it’s still not excusable for inclus to do that either. We get erased as black gay/trans/queer/aspec people up until it’s time for discourse accounts to bring us up to one-up each other

Can you give me advice on x?

Most likely not, because I’m not an expert or an advice blog. I’ll try, but don't take my word for it. I’m also tme, able-bodied, not Jewish, singlet, etc, so I’m not able to accurately answer questions about transmisogyny, (physical?) ableism, antisemitism, “sycourse”, etc.

I might be able to give advice on school-related stuff since I just graduated high school, but remember that students are not a monolith, and what worked for me may not work for someone else.

Can I follow if I’m nonblack/a minor/cishet?

Nonblack and/or cishet can follow but watch your step, minors blacklist the #minors dni tag before following

Why do you hate Ao3?

*long sigh*

I don't, I have a problem with the fact that it allows racist and (frankly voyeuristic) pedophilic/abusive/incestuous content to exist on its platform. It’s a good concept overall, but the devs are complicit in allowing “underage” and “noncon/dubcon” fics on their platform.

And there's the fact that they somehow need donations every year despite exceeding their goal several times over each year?

What’s wrong with Hazbin Hotel/The Ships/Vivziepop?

[WIP, as I have to go into extensive detail about this and I currently don’t have the energy for it]

TLDR: Viv made a half-assed apology for supporting racists (one of whom did blackface [yes the mask was used to do blackface shut up] to mock black activist) and drawing gross content. Her current projects including Hazbin Hotel are full of anti-gay/trans/aspec (Angel Dust, Vaggie, Alastor), antisemetic (Mimzy), and racist (Vaggie again, that yellow cyclops character that I’ve forgotten the name of) content under the guise of humor. If you’re into that shit, whatever, just don’t follow me and don’t whine when I make posts criticizing it.

What’s wrong with Hamilton?

Aside from the fact that it’s very obviously glorifying slave owners and made people worldwide believe the founding fathers were good people, LMM, the creator, is nonblack. This isn't his story to tell at all.

Can you tag x?

I have a list of things I usually tag because they come upon this blog a lot. I cannot do catch all tags, as I have way too many followers for that. The closest thing to that is the “ask to tag” tag when there’s something potentially triggering but I’m not sure what it is. Everything is tagged as “x tw”. If something is extremely triggering, I’ll tag it as “major tw”

Do you tag slurs?

I tag slurs I’m not able to reclaim at all (i.e., d slur, f slur, t slur) or slurs I can reclaim but are being used as a slurs. I don’t tag the n-word, as I reclaim that one. I always tag the r slur

Can I message you about something/someone?

Unless you’re a mutual, most likely no. My DMs are only open to mutuals.

Do you want to be mutuals?

I don’t usually follow back people who follow me, especially if you’re under 16 or post things I’m not interested in.

Why is it important to have byf or about?

1) So I know gross people aren’t following me. This is not up for discussion

2) So I know someone’s not speaking out of their lane, which tends to happen a lot. (i.e, someone refusing to disclose that they are tme when discussing transmisogyny, someone not having their race listed when discussing racism)

3) Some people don’t want to interact with people under 18 or over like 30 or something.

Yeah, yeah, people aren’t entitled to personal information and all that crap but I have a serious problem with people speaking on topics from a place of privilege. Not to say they can’t talk about those things, just perhaps add a disclaimer that you’re privileged when talking about these things and be open to criticism, and NOT blocking people of the said marginalized group when they tell you something you’ve said was problematic.

I also have a problem with people who are intentionally vague about their age. There’s a difference between interacting with someone who’s 20 and someone who’s 29. I don’t want to say it’s the opposite for minors but at the same time there’s a difference for saying something racist at 13 and doing so at 17, and keeping your age vague makes it harder to determine how to deal with something like that. (Not that 13-year-olds shouldn’t know better, it’s just I don’t feel whole ass callout posts and receipt blogs are necessary for someone of that age).

Also anyone under 16, I can't stop you from following, but keep your interaction limited, please. This isnt an 18+ blog but I do rb suggestive jokes from time to time

I sent you an ask and you never answered it!

It’s likely that

I never got it

You were blocked

I’ve already answered this or it’s been answered in my faq

It’s a random positivity ask (which I appreciate but not sure how to respond to those)

You were rude in your ask and I didn’t feel like answering

I forgot until it was too late, which happens when my inbox gets a lot of asks at a time.

You sent it to the wrong blog (I.e, sending asks about my ocs to this blog instead of @ochood )

Hey, the op is [insert post] is [someone on my dni]! I usually double-check myself, just to be sure.

Have you heard about [someone who is mutuals with someone I’m loosely connected with]?

Most likely, no. And unless they’re an immediate danger to someone or they’ve got my name in their mouth, I don’t care.

Do you know who [x person/group/thing] is?Most likely no. Not to sound like a hipster but I don't usually keep up to date with trends. If I do hear about something, it’s most likely from twitter or Instagram.

Why am I blocked? Check here.

Why do you continuously move mains/change URLs/update themes?

I’m inconsistent. And sometimes there are posts on my blog that I no longer stand by.

Can I tag you in posts I think I’d like?Of course!

#lite.txt #long post #faq

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buggerup-busters · 5 years ago

Note

7, 10, 13, 23, 24!

7 - favourite fic genre to read?

Like long fic that's basically a novel and probably has a bunch of OCs but it's so well put together it's basically it's own thing and you end up confusing canon and that fic, it's probably a bit dark but also has really cute fluff and I'll read it all in a few days

10 - how do you find new fic?

I write it tbqh XD uh well I check the Widdershins tag every few days, for other fandoms I quite often end up reading stuff because someone did a cool fanart of a fic and included a link, or I'll just scroll through Ao3 with the filters set up how I like them and see what takes my fancy.

13 - fave fic trope?

Not to be basic but sharing the bed!! Also domesticity despite all the crazy main plot that's happening like when they explain who sleeps where and where the food comes from and how they fix up wherever they're staying, bonus points if the bad guys / people who don't get on too well are involved!

23 - what do you wish more fic authors would do?

Write Widdershins fic! XD Widdershins-wise I'm a hypocrite because I swear I only write the boys but I'd love to see more of the girls, especially Eliza! In general, I'd love more aspec fics, and ones where a squish is treated as seriously as a crush 👀 Also, be creative with presentin the fic! Epistolary! Strike throughs, footnotes!

24 - what do you wish fic authors would stop doing?

Suuuuper long tags and then the fic is like 300 words... Also, beating themselves up in the tags or intro! Don't say it's bad or I'll believe you, even though it's probably perfectly fine! Be proud!

#ask game #thanks this made bus journey less boring

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clockworkkatana · 8 years ago

Note

♦ (i think thats the right one?)

♢ - how many muses do you have?

Too many, but I’m really only active on two or three of them. more on that in a minute!

here’s a list of blogs i’ve run or attempted to run here on tumblr:@clockworkkatana - you are here!@thetricksterstempest - my first tumblr rp blog! john egbert from dave’s timeline (i actually only made dave’s blog to round out the last beta kid and then he had to go and ruin my life)@shuddershades - dave lalonde! a guardianswap au i started with @bramblebound’s mun that i’m really excited about@theykilledtheworld - no-sburb, post-invasion dirk strider i rebooted about a month ago @cuaryaaspece - cuarya aspece, a fantroll for a fanventure me and my best friend are working on that we havent gotten around to publishing yet

@circuitcollector - talOS, a self-aware, sentient strifebot built by @exasperatedmechanic for dave who’s an innocent child and the best ever@thepeoplesbard - a post-sburb gamzee makara who Needs A Redemption Arc@thestygianseer - a rose lalonde i tried for about a week but went nowhere with @clockworkmajjyks - literally just a potterstuck AU of this dave i didnt even bother makign a new dave to rp as he’s basically a direct translation but with magic@inconsistentfirearm - you know that meme that’s like “what’s the inverse of your url” the inverse of clockworkkatana is inconsistentfirearm and i thought itd be a good dave harley url. i’ve made like eight posts on that one

FINALLY WE’RE DONE WITH HOMSETUCK MUSES

@soullessmarigold - undetermined timeline flowey, also In Need Of A Redemption Arc. like two posts on this one, we’re really scrapping the bottom of the barrel here@zongofthezee - fallen london/sunless sea oc based on my character in the same games

now, joseph, you’re asking - do you actually run all of these blogs?hahaha, god i wish. unfortunately no, one because i am a terrible who gets discouraged easily, and two because i am an awkward who NEVER ASKS IF PEOPLE WANT TO RP BECAUSE FUCK ME, I GUESSthat said, if any of these seem interesting to you i heartily encourage you to slide into the dms and fuck my shit up

#ooc #GOD THIS IS TOO LONG OF A LIST #@ME GET A NEW HOBBY #nepeta-dead-dijon

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floweery · 2 years ago

Text

Our system name is “Floralsys”, bc we like flowers

Basically same process as an oc, just looking up scientific names of things we like or just random things we think of, tho we have gotten help in discord servers

None with the birth name, but we have 1 who decided the name we go by then vanished

I don’t know what you mean by stereotypical, sry

Hmm.. Dunno, but the STRANGER doesn’t really have a name..

It’s sorta just a feel thing, though for fictives it can be very influenced by source

OMORI is half ageless, half 12. It’s weird.

The oldest would probably be Bad, he’s in his mid twenties.

Many of us have age ranges. The closest thing to age regression we experience is a little passive influencing.

Most of them prefer to not interact with people at all and almost only front when we’re completely alone, but our particularly social little does prefer to be seen as a child. I don’t know if this applies since they’re a middle but OMORI hates being treated as less mature due to being partly 12.

We all range around aspec toric.

Almost all of us use the label “transmasc enby”.

Many of us use neos. We don’t really look into gender labels beyond what we have because it’s too much to think about.

Casinoboo. /j

Yeah. Same label as 12.

Leafy. They’re a shapeshifting humanoid leaf child.

Y e s. It’s really annoying. Tommy was the first, and then more had them. No idea why or how, but now we’ve got quite a few winged individuals.

Hmm,, I don’t think so.

OMORI has one normal wing and one “ghost” wing. Basically means it’s there but doesn’t cause discomfort when objects are where it should be. That’s probably the weirdest thing we experience.

Hmm, primarily humanoid. We’ve got very few actual humans, and they’re basically all fictives.

Yes. We have four BASIL (omori) variants. We have headspace BASIL, rw BASIL (also called Fleur), we have younger rw BASIL (also called Clover), and today actually, we found HANA. An au BASIL. This is the most we have from one source, but we have others.

Most are at least somewhat connected. Less connection typically means they’re not supposed to deal with trauma, or they have very little source to go off of.

Our Crumb introjects. Chamomile specifically is from “amnesia was her name”. They do not have memories from it, but when they watch it they can feel what their source feels.

Yep! Not gonna say who as that’s not my place.

Definitely. Our younger SUNNY’s source is almost completely a brainmade AU.

Not really, it’s pretty stressful, but some of us do read through it.

We were neutral when we originally started researching dissociative disorders. We learned, though.

I don’t really want to talk to them. It’s stressful.

We all agree pretty much, we tend to share a lot of beliefs with this sort of thing.

I think that it’s harmful. I think people should just stop paying attention to endos and their supporters. It does you no good to yell at them. Completely understandable, though.

Fleur.

I’m not sure on that one.

I don’t really remember any, sorry-

Sometimes. It can be awful, but it can also be very nice.

Sweater weather??? I don’t understand it like its such a good songgg

anti-endo system ask game

this post is for anti-endo systems only, endos dni

if you don't want asks from a specific category I would recommend specifying that in the tags

name asks

1. do you have a collective name? how did you choose it?

2. how do new alters choose their names?

3. are there any alters who identify with the body's name?

4. which alter has the most stereotypical name?

5. which alter has the weirdest name?

age asks

6. how does alter age work for your system?

7. does your system have ageless alters?

8. who is the oldest alter? how old are they?

9. does your system have alters who age slide or age regress?

10. does your system's littles want to be treated like children or adults?

queer asks

11. do all alters have similar sexualities?

12. does your system have more male, female, or nonbinary alters?

13. do any alters use xenogenders or neopronouns?

14. which alter has the most gender?

15. do you consider the body to be transgender?

nonhuman asks

16. what alter is the strangest species?

17. do any alters in your system have wings?

18. does your system have any animal alters?

19. what is the weirdest part about being a nonhuman alter?

20. is the majority of your system human or nonhuman?

introject asks

21. do you have multiple alters from one source?

22. are most of your system's introjects connected to their source? disconnected from their source?

23. what is the weirdest source that an introject in your system has?

24. are any of your system's introjects in relationships with other introjects?

25. do any of your system's introjects have non-canon source memories?

syscourse asks

26. do you engage in syscourse?

27. were you previously pro-endo?

28. if you could tell all pro-endos one thing, what would you tell them?

29. does your system have a collective opinion on syscourse, or does it vary?

30. do you think that syscourse is more helpful or harmful?

asks for the current fronter

31. who is your favorite alter in the system?

32. which alter has the most based takes?

33. what is the funniest piece of system drama?

34. do you enjoy being part of a system?

35. what's something you like that no one else in the system likes?

this post is for anti-endo systems only, endos dni

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pan-ace-of-swords · 4 years ago

Note

The way aspec people can potentially interact with romantic/sexual content and how their orientation can affect their experience with it is such a fascinating topic to me.

For me, I have a fairly active libido, and kinks, and recently have shifted toward being sex favorable in specific circumstances, so I'm not completely immune to the game's horniness, especially where Julian, who is quite compatible with my kinks, is concerned. Like, the pat down scene is great. MC is dominant and in control of all the touching which is exactly what I'm comfortable with.

But taking a bath together? Ew. Nope. Sexualizing something as basic as good hygiene practices just kind of creeps me out.

And yeah, the sexy pose CGs are just kinda there.

I'm really grateful that all of the more sexual scenes are optional and not framed as being good or bad choices. (Vaguing Mass Effect which made me feel mean about not having passionate vanilla sex with Liara.)

As for the romance, I am actually attracted to Julian, so it's fine with him. For most of the others, I do have separate characters. But I wanted to use my self-insert-ish OC for Asra too, because I like their dynamic and have a lot of platonic love for him, so I aggressively reimagine them as queerplatonic partners and make my readers deal with it.

I'm sorry in advance if my question seems rude... How do you perceive romance games while being an aroace? Do you probably consider it as an interesting journey with interesting characters and no "feelings" involved? Games like Arcana usually presume that a gamer is romantically attracted to the cast... I'm just curious, please ignore the question if you're not okay with it.

[This got too long so tl;dr: I play the games for the story, art, and characters. I feel nothing at the points they try to appeal to attraction, and unfortunately I try to avoid to more romantic/sexual parts of the fandom]

----------------

It’s an interesting question to try to answer because I only have my aroace pov and my assumptions of how alloro people play these games may be off base. But I play a lot of dating sims, mostly because I love the visual novel and character route format (I’d kill for other genres to use the style). I play these games for the art, story, and character interactions rather than to get any romantic fulfilment from it.

Firstly, my perspective is changed the same way my perspective of life is changed. I have no capacity to feel attraction so my response when games try to appeal to that is nothing. When a character is shirtless or posing to show themself off in a CG, at most I’ll enjoy the artwork, but more often I question if it would be comfortable ^.^;

Second, I have to create an OC to take the main character’s place. I can’t enjoy these things with a self-insert because I can’t put myself in that position. I can’t use my own name and I even find it harder to play games where the MC looks like me (which as a pale brunette with long hair is hard). I spend an embarassingly long time researching names and thinking up personalities of different MCs in these games.

And I guess another way it affect me is when it comes to fandom. I’m a little better with it than before, but an overly sexual or romance heavy environment makes me uncomfortable which can be annoying to manage. It’s less uncomfortable in the sense that I feel bad but it’s like when you’re in a conversation with nothing to contribute and you’re bored and just want to leave but you feel trapped in it.

Being in the Arcana fandom has been incredible. I’ve met a lot of lovely people and my art has improved so much because of it, but at the same time, I can’t join in certain events or follow certain people because of how openly attracted or sexual they are with the characters. I can’t look at a lot of artist’s styles because their art feels too horny, which sucks because it includes people I consider friends and I know it’s my problem, not theirs. I know I shouldn’t be creeped out by anyone expressing their attraction in a dating sim of all things but unfortunately it’s what happens in my brain -_-

#aspec stuff

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