#basic bitch bugs au

[popponn]

from the outsider's view. [itoshi sae x reader]

notes: admittedly, no braincell here only "sae unconditionally lovey dovey" thought (ft. kaiser). i miss sae. and i want him to be happy for a bit. this guy seems like when he is committed he will become the commitment itself despite everything. cute in the way the sort of type who will put in the effort and worth the effort when he is the right person. also, happy cny ❤ warnings: cursings (it's kaiser). fluff. kaiser's pov aka outsider's pov, sae & you being lovey dovey, established relationship, reader's gender unspecified, post canon au, heavy hc that sae & kaiser doesn't get along (outside of the field esp). please don't look to closely into this. @doobea thank u for betaing beloved ♡❀

By any means, it is not as if Kaiser actively tries to murder Sae every time they meet.

But it also doesn’t mean he is buddy-buddy with him either. Honestly, Kaiser hates a lot of people’s guts—Yoichi and Noa currently contending for the #1 spot, sure, but Sae is pretty close up there if he has to list them down. The reason is not particularly complicated for this one, as anyone who has met Sae would agree he is a natural at making enemies. That mid-fielder is one of those people who will do better as a human being if they shut up and not pick up a fight with each breath they take.

So, imagine his surprise to meet the redhead—with you by his side, hand in hand—during a casual outing for some convenience store snack in broad daylight.

“The fuck are you doing here?” Kaiser doesn’t waste a second to ask the moment their eyes meet each other. Kaiser really doesn’t want to have a jerk greeting him the moment he tries to get into an aisle yet here he is.

Sae squints at him in a more offensive manner than usual and then subtly—but very obvious to Kaiser’s eye—pushes you slightly behind his back as if Kaiser might do something to you. Which is wrong—even if Kaiser is very aware he is not the shining beacon of goodness. “Shopping, clearly. What else?”

“Someone you know, Sae?” your voice asks from behind your assumed-boyfriend. Kaiser glances slightly at the blatantly color-coordinated casual clothes. Disgusting. Definitely a boyfriend then. “Oh! Is that Michael Kaiser?”

Kaiser raises an eyebrow as he meets your gleaming eyes. He certainly didn’t expect Itoshi Fucking Sae’s partner to acknowledge him with such enthusiasm. He expected someone who is more or less as bitchy as bitchy as the guy. A smile that has been trained for PR events forms itself on Kaiser’s face, “Why, hello—”

“It’s not,” Sae quickly cuts in. “Just some bugs. Let’s just get the drink and go.”

Fucking Sae.

“Now, now,” Kaiser sneers, his grin widening into an irritated smirk as he approaches closer towards Sae. Said dickhead responds by tugging you closer to him. Sae better be one of those types of unreasonably cutesy protective boyfriends or Kaiser might actually start taking offenses and maim him for real. “Is that a way to greet ‘a friend’, Sae? And—” Kaiser moves on to you, “—hello there.”

The quotation mark hangs heavily in the air. Sae scoffs while you finally get the chance to address Kaiser’s existence politely and introduce yourself, “Hello! Nice to meet you!”

How the fuck did someone who knows basic manners end up with Sae? Kaiser genuinely wants to know if you got paid for this or something. He will ask if it’s not for the fact Sae seems to be itching to claw the hell out of his face. Kaiser really doesn’t want to get lectured for a public incident if he actually gives in to the urge to sock Sae’s resting bitch face. So, instead, he keeps his focus on you even while keeping his sentence directed to you both, “I didn’t expect to see you here. Thought Sae is allergic to store-bought products.”

You laugh at that, whilst Sae sends you a sharp glare—that has a hint of besotted lovesick gaze in it what the fuck—that you promptly ignore in favor of answering Kaiser instead. “Yeah, he is a bit nosy sometimes, huh?” you muse fondly, “But he is open to some products, thankfully.”

Sae pipes in, “Hey.”

“Come on, it’s true,” you reply shortly. As your eyes meet Sae, the besotted lovesick gaze returns, this time reciprocated by your equally lovelorn affectionate one. Kaiser really doesn’t want to see this.

“Hmph,” Sae breathes out like some grumpy mangy cat. Then, as if he truly is some kitty raising up its fur and tail, Sae returns his glare to Kaiser. The way one of Sae’s hand wrap around your shoulder to press you close doesn’t escape Kaiser’s eyes. And the most annoying thing is perhaps the way that it evidently isn’t like Sae deliberately shows it to him like some territorial jealous dickhead. It’s like watching someone taking in a breath and that breath is some lovey-dovey fuckery. “We are going. Let’s go.”

As much as Kaiser wants to make Sae suffer a little bit more via playfully flirting with you or something, being a third wheel to the elder Itoshi sounds so awful it’s not even worth trying. Next time the two Itoshis duke it out by being on the opposite team, Kaiser genuinely considers rooting for the younger one just so he can see Sae fail. And also out of some twisted camaraderie because imagining being a witness to this frequently—one really either builds up some immunity or turns insane.

The sort of guy who casually must touch his lover all the time is unbearable to watch.

So, good fucking riddance.

“Shoo,” Kaiser waves Sae away. And the way you look at Sae like the redhead is the most wonderful man alive lowers Kaiser’s opinion of you enough for that wave to be directed at you too. Get a better taste.

You laugh nervously at their brief exchange as Sae drags you away. Kaiser too shifts his attention away from you. Unfortunately, turns out—fuck him—it isn’t enough to escape the barely audible whispers Sae shares with you as the two of you walk away from the aisle.

“You should be nicer. He is still someone you know.”

“He touched Isagi’s chin on their first meeting to fuck around—I’m not taking chances with that shithole.”

“Aw. I don’t think he will—he seems very aware I’m with you.”

“That guy is insane and it’s better to be ready to kick his dick when you have to. Don’t be too friendly with him next time.”

God. Kaiser wishes for a match with Sae soon just so he can duke it out with him without any repercussions.

[romanshomeonwattpad]

Awaken Me | Tobias Eaton

pairings — four/reader | divergent au! |

summary : four seems to pick on you especially—and you figure out why. it’s because you both share the same secret.

warnings : none i think?

authors note : i forgot about this and decided to upload it even tho it’s unfinished…

© elliotsblunt 2022. do not repost, modify, or translate.

Your eyes burned slightly as you blinked away tears, confused as to why you couldn't find that certain...

Anger.

Wren, a curly haired blonde that belonged in Amity—somehow landed in Dauntless. But during combat, her frail arms would summon the strength of twice the muscle capacity she contains. If you hadn't seen her flip a man twice her size over her figure—

You wouldn't have believed it.

Anyways, Wren had told you that she had reached that certain level of fighting simply by thinking of what angered her most. The the thing was, nothing horrible had happened to you.

You were born and raised in Amity, where the crime rate remained a negative 0–if that were possible, it would be rated just that.

Your ma and pa sheltered you, as you were their only child. You were also extremely close with them, but after getting your screen test back—it was time to begin a new chapter in your life. One that would drag and smash you to the ground like a bug.

Which is what happened now—basically.

Gritting your teeth, you rolled over to dodge one of your opponents lashes. Fortunately, the girl wasn't a merciless bitch, and let you stand up whilst getting back into position. With shaky fists, you gulped, muttering a quick curse before her own swung towards your chin.

But—

The beating never came. The throbbing rush of warm blood thrashing in your veins never crashed. Your jaw was in tact, and you weren't flopped on the ground like a beaten animal.

Your eyes snapped open, flashing over to the strong hand wrapped around Turner's wrist. Turner, the girl you were fighting, gulped as she stood back from Four. His chest radiated of a warm essence that burnt your cheeks—especially with the smirk dripping off his face.

"Turner," he released her grip, not glancing at you, "It appears the Mary Poppins hasn't improved. Isn't fair to you, is it?"

Your throat went dry, remembering how much of a total prick he was. At first, you thought he was hot, so you deemed him to maybe be a good person. But after you figured one of his life goals was to torment and embarrass you—you checked your values and common sense.

His eyes were dark, but still weren't ever fluttered onto your figure—almost as if he didn't even want to look at you. It damaged your confidence more, knowing you were probably going to be factionless if you didn't shape up soon.

Turner only shrugged, dropping her arm back to her side before placing both hands on her hips. She raised a brow at you as you let out a sharp breath, wiping the imaginary dust off your palms before looking down at the ground and stepping off the fighting podium.

Your ears ring as her blows caused you some damage. Chewing on your bottom lip, you held back your defeated thoughts as Wren threw an arm around your shoulder,

"It's okay. I got a few beat downs my first year here. It gets better," she attempted to cheer you up. You merely hummed as she continued, "Anger, _ _. That's what powers you. You need—“

“I know,” you snapped, stopping your feet before rolling your eyes at her, “I know. But I’m not an angry person, and I’m shit at fighting.”

Her eyes narrowed, “Pity isn’t what makes you a Dauntless, _ _,” she stepped towards you, poking a nimble finger into your heart, “So instead of whining, kid, maybe you should just stop thinking and fight.”

Slowly nodding, you stood there as she headed over to the cafeteria for lunch. You noticed that the boxing bag area was empty—and it clicked in your head what Wren said.

Fight.

Bringing your fists up, you got into a fighting stance and threw your first punch. With gritted teeth, you felt the material bruise up your knuckles—but you wanted to feel it. Feel the pain. If you couldn’t feel the pain, then pity would just Pool around in your chest instead.

And you hated pity.

Hissing as you retracted your first, you did it again. Then repeated on the other fist. Every time the cool leather collided with your knuckles, it sent a sharp pain up your hand. But you stood through it, until the next time you swung, you didn’t realize the bag had made its own hit towards you—swinging and hitting your body with a harsh force.

Letting out a grunt, your body slammed into the cold cement of the training sector. Your ribs ached as you didn’t twitch to get up, instead accepting that you were going to be factionless if you didn’t get back up.

Get back up, _ _. You have to.

Sweat dribbled down your forehead as you landed another punch to the bag. You made it a mission to skip lunch so you could train, because you'd rather starve than be factionless. Breathing harshly through your teeth, you felt the muscles slightly tense in your arms.

"Mary poppins hasn't improved, has she?"

You felt your lip curl as you delivered another brutal hit, finally taking victory in the bag. You released a grunt as your fists kept colliding with it.

You were going to show that stuck up son of a—

"You're supposed to eat in order to gain muscle. Didn't teach you that back in Amity, huh?" You heard a voice quip, a deep and gravelly voice.

Jumping from surprise, your head snapped over to see Four leaning against one of the bags. His eyes were focused on you, smoky and stormy. You looked away from him instantly, but kept your focus on him, "Skipping lunch won't make you a Dauntles—"

"If someone tells me one more time what does or doesn't make me a Dauntless, I might just fucking shoot myself," you raised your voice, feeling the patience that usually you held snapped like a tree branch. Four's eyes stayed narrowed as he now crossed his arms, the muscles protruding from that caramel, ink covered skin of his.

You gulped, "I meant—"

He stood up straight, a smirk creeping into his plump, pink lips as he stepped towards you, "You're nothing but a farmer. You cannot train remotely enough to become one of us," he hissed, venom laced in his words. Something swirled in his eyes, making your jaw lock,

"You don't have anger. You have self pity, and Dauntless don't pity themselves. They fight, and are willing to give up their life for people. How can you fight others when you're fighting yourself already?"

You blinked, feeling anger begin to rise within you. It was a foreign feeling—but you didn't hate it. If anything, your veins welcomed the poisonous rage, but you bit your tongue.

Four laughed darkly, "You can't even speak up for yourself. Surely, you should go back to those farmers," he continued, making your fists balled up at your sides. As he continued to degrade you and your home, well— people who used to be your home, it rose.

The anger rose. It felt as the ground begun to shake, sudden flashes of all the combat you had witnessed before your eyes playing like a rapid slideshow in your mind. The cracks of the bones whenever someone would slip their foot beneath someone—breaking their balance.

Your eyes flickered up to his. He paused right before you, the scent of cologne filling your nose as your chest heaved deeply. Every sense of angst within you was on fire as he tilted his head.

"You don't belong here. But I doubt you'll be able to go home, since your parents disow—"

Your foot slipped under him, trapping him to the ground with a grunt from him. Your teeth clenched as you aimed to punch him, but he immediately snapped his eyes into yours. With furrowed brows, he grabbed your wrist and striked your leg with a harsh kick.

Your knee buckled, a bullet of pain shooting through your muscles. The cold concrete pavement of the training sector burned the flesh on your cheek, ears ringing as a dull ache formed in your back from the landing.

“C’mon, _ _,” Four chuckled, more so in a tiresome way than a tormenting tone. His chest heaved as I blinked, “Get up. Don’t give up now.”

It clicked. Was he…training you?

A boost if adrenaline shot through you. He believed in you. That was the push you needed to balance your wobbling arms off the ground, barely being able to push your body—but you did. Your fists balked at your sides as you gulped, accidentally melting into his cold eyes.

They weren’t as cold, though. As if the ice had slightly melted—but there was still another thick layer.

“Fighting is a dance,” he murmured firmly, grabbing your arm and spinning you around. You let out a harsh breathe as he held your back against his chest, before roughly pushing you away. You hit one of the punching backs, grunting as he smirked, “Until it’s not.”

“Can’t imagine dancing with you,” your eyes narrowed—only making his smirk grow.

But you didn’t hear a response, instead your eyes noticed he was about to take a step forward. Then, you watched his arm twitch—ducking before delivering a jab to his side. He flinched, which broke the barrier, and you didn’t wait to kick him down to the ground.

With a loud thud, you watched as his braid figure slammed against the ground. Picking up your feet, you darted towards him. Every single insult he’d ever thrown at you replayed in your head. He was trying to anger you.

Did he perhaps…care?

Sliding your knee across the ground, you grabbed both of his hands and held him down. Your hair fell over your face, panting deeply, as you used the rest of your strength to fight off his. His hues twitched to yours, something flashing in his eyes as they met yours.

Your throat became dry. Butterflies erupted in your tummy, a warm feeling hugging your heart.

Feeling the cheeks in your face burn—you felt the world slowly silence around you as your eyes melted onto his. You didn’t know if it was your imagination, or the adrenaline pumping in your veins—but you swore you felt his long fingers slowly graze your thigh.

Wait—

How did they get fre—

And in an instant, you were flipped into the ground. His strong hands held you down, gripping your wrist, as his muscular chest held down yours. Bodies pressed against one another, his grunts filling your ears…it was truly a sight.

A musky scent flooded your senses as you felt like you were high, wanting to reach out and touch that sculpted jaw of his. The stubble poking from his skin is probably scratchy against your palm, but his flesh still looked smooth and supple.

Despite his appearance coming off ragged and rough.

“That’s how you fight like a Dauntless,” He taunted darkly, making your brows raise in shock, “You’ll do just fine in ranks if you uh—“

His eyes fluttered to your lips, before he gulped and squeezed his eyes shut. He pushed himself off the floor, away from you, before dusting off his pants, “You should do just fine, _ _.”

Before you could say anything, he cleared his throat and made his exit.

[starberry-cupcake]

HAPPY HALLOWEEN: CHAPTER 33 PEOPLE, WE'VE MADE IT!!!

previously, on harrowcita del 9:

this was the last recap update

this was my recap of where I left off

this is the post about camilla's reappearance which I can't reproduce in its entirety in this post but I suggest you look at

CHAPTER 33:

harrowcita is hanging out in a nice planet that sounds very pleasant

we've been so long in the emperor's bolthole and canaan house that this feels like heaven, actually

let's build a cottage and live here forever maybe

even better, as previously established, camilla is here

there's nature, there's little bugs, there's camilla, what else do we need???

maybe gideon would be nice

camilla shows up like "hey, loser, I need you to do me a solid" and pulls out palmolive's reconstructed skull

harrow is like ???????????????????????????

and here's where things get complicated for that 3D model I was building

harrow remembers camilla and palmolive dying the way they died in the gideon-less au

like, shot in the face repeatedly

her memory of them is the memory of the gideon-less au: not knowing them much, not remembering their faces much, seeing them shot to death by a slasher villain

and I'm like...huh????????????????????

because, as previously established (5 months ago), in the gideon-less au, dulcinea isn't not!dulcinea

she's real!dulcinea and protozoa is alive

he's reciting poetry and ortus doesn't like him coming for his gig

however, harrow does remember not!dulcinea being a threat and yandere twin has repeatedly talked about how she took off her arm and all that

so...which is it????

camilla is like "look, I don't care about your lack of memory or the fact that you're currently bleeding out of every perceivable orifice in your head, I got a job for you"

harrow is, as usual, skeptical of everything, especially of camilla being real, because 1) they're like in the orbit of the emperor's supposedly top secret bolthole, 2) camilla was supposed to be dead and 3) she's too perfect to exist

well, that last one was mine, but still

and harrowcita is dealing with this thing in which she can't trust her mind because, for all intents and purposes, she has an emotional support apparition trailing her

so harrow starts attacking camilla to try to figure out if she's real and camilla is slaying all her constructs because she's that bitch

so harrow accepts to listen and then camilla gives her palmolive's skull that's all glued back together with a lot of care, love and patience

camilla says they planned stuff in case he died (Sixth house winning points with me every single day, they came PREPARED, not like you SECOND HOUSE, YOU JUDGMENTAL ASSHATS)

in case palmolive kicked the bucket, he'd tether his soul or energy or whatever incorporeal thing that makes him himself to his remains

his remains blew to bits though

sometimes it doesn't matter how much you plan, things just blow up and explode in a million pieces

like my plans of reading this book in less time

so camilla found some palmolive scraps and put them together but if whatever bit of him he's tethered to isn't there, she has to go back and look for more bits

basically, camilla needs harrow to tell her if palmolive's force ghost is in the collected bits

harrow is both bleeding from every orifice and also very confused with everything that is happening

those are the two things she's been consistently experiencing all book long

but she's harrowcita nonagesimus and she's no quitter so in she goes to the river to see if indeed palmolive sextus has managed to cheat death, so to speak

she's expecting to have to do this

but she finds herself here

there's a nice little room with a cushion-y bed, some books, a window, a chair, etc

and there's also my reluctant bestie palmolive (I'm growing attached to him against my initial intentions)

palmolive hugs harrow and harrow is even more confused than before because affection????? care???? in this economy?????

so my reluctant bestie palmolive was able to create a sort of bubble in the shores of the metaphorical ghostly river

he created a space in the nothing, so to speak, a space in which he can remain without being pulled away from the same spot

he tethered himself in a cellular level in a spiderweb-like form to his pieces and was able to craft an unmoving reproduction of the place where he died, with what he could see at that time

that includes one romance book he's in the midst of writing fanfiction of

as one would

palmolive is also very upset at harrow taking approximately 8 months to get to him

harrow is like ?????????

palmolive goes "how did you get separated from cam?"

harrow is like ???????????????????????????

and when harrow starts with the lyctor spiel...

(is anyone impressed by that? ever? the emperor is a clown)

...palmolive says "tell me you did it correctly"

harrow tells him she slurped her cav

which we all know might not be entirely true because 1) harrow thinks ortus was his cav (brother in being blown to bits to palmolive) and 2) she's lyctor lite

but palmolive doesn't know this

he's very disappointed in god, and aren't we all

palm, my reluctant bestie, if you knew the guy you'd be even more disappointed

BUT THERE'S NO TIME FOR ANY OF THAT BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE AT THE WINDOW JUST IN TIME FOR HALLOWEEN

IT'S THE SLEEPER/WAKER/SLASHER

palmolive thinks harrow brought him there but he doesn't know who tf it is because he's the real palmolive and not the gideon-less au palmolive

the slasher villain is trying to get at them

if harrow leaves palm's apartment, the waker/sleeper/slasher will leave too, according to him

he kisses harrow's brow and drops a funny one-liner, as he does, because he's a nerd

harrow reluctantly leaves and shows up in a dark corridor

but it's not a corridor and it isn't dark

and most shocking of all

THERE'S A "ME"

THERE'S A NARRATOR

"you never could have guessed that he had seen me"

WHO'S ME?????? WHO IS NARRATING????

and that's it for chapter 33, I'm glad I stopped halfway 5 months ago because idk if I would have been able to do what I did if I had read until the end

happy halloween fam! I'll post my costume later but it isn't locked tomb related although maybe next year???

[tojisbbygworl]

My Wife is a Stoner and a Bitch and it’s Driving Me Crazy - Toji Fushiguro x Black!Reader ~ FFL Series

Summary: Megumi is finally out of the house which means it’s time to spark up. Toji - 33, You - 30, Megumi - 12

Characters: Toji, Megumi, Yuuji, Sukuna, Gojo

Words: 6,215

Tags: 18+, 2nd person, Fluff, Established Relationship, Marijuana, AU-No Curses, SMUTTTT, Car sex, High Sex, Cunnilingus, Toji is Whipped, DILF, Toji is a Good Dad, Soft Toji

Disclaimer: This work is part of a Black!Reader x Toji series I started called Fushiguro Family Life. It's basically a slice of life series with you, Toji and Megumi. None of them are in order and can be read on their own unless stated otherwise.

AO3 Version

My AO3

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

author’s note: So basically the great AO3 DDOS attack of 2023 sent me into a panic and now I’m considering cross posting all my stories. I mayyyy post my other darker Toji stories here but I’m not sure. Probably not.

This is inspired by a reddit post I saw a while ago and couldn’t find again with a similar title. This work is the 1st part of a Drabble series called Fushiguro Family Life (great name Ik shut up). All the stories are cute, fluffy, and/or smutty and will be mostly one shots. A couple may have two chapters. Okay I’m done talking now. Enjoy!!!🩵

Toji was very excited to get back home tonight.

He had just dropped off Megumi at his best friend Itadori Yuuji's house. The kid's birthday was tomorrow and he practically begged Megumi to come to his sleepover. Megumi was a quiet and introverted kid who liked being alone. It's hard to get him out of his shell which makes Toji wonder how the hell those two even became friends in the first place. When Toji overheard Yuuji pleading for Megumi to spend the night while they were playing in his room, he knew he had to get Megumi to go. He loved the kid but God, Megumi was home way too often. Yes, he was only 12, but he had ample opportunity to leave the house. Megumi never joins his friends in walking to the DQ by their middle school after school lets out for the day. He never wants to carpool with Yuuji and Nobara to the nearby high school's games where Yuuji's older brother Sukuna is the football captain. He doesn't go to the fair when it's in town, or Six Flags on the weekends. He would much rather stay at home and have his friends come over. Which means Toji has to constantly deal with at least 3 little shits fucking up his house. It's a situation that's less than ideal.

Megumi has a habit of asking Toji or his stepmother to say no to the prospect of him going out because he doesn't want to hurt his friends' feelings. Sometimes he would come into their room and hold up his phone while it's on speaker. Usually either Yuuji or Nobara will be asking if he could go somewhere and Megumi would be mouthing 'NO' and shaking his head. Toji would repeat the word aloud and that would be the end of that. Well, not this time.

When Yuuji asked Megumi to come to the sleepover, Toji quickly jumped into action. He hopped, skipped, and jumped over to his room where he pretended to be on his phone waiting for Megumi and Yuuji to come through the door. When they did, he looked up.

"What?"

"Mr. Fushiguro, can Megumi come to my sleepover next week? It's gonna be the day before my birthday." Yuuji asks, slightly melancholy from expecting a firm 'no' like usual. Megumi was standing behind him, his face completely relaxed. By this point, his parents should know how this works. A friend asks if Megumi can do something and they say...

"Sure thing."

Megumi's eyes burst wide open while his friend jumps for joy. Yuuji immediately turns around and hugs his best friend who is still frozen in shock and staring bug-eyed at his father. Toji is grinning cheekily. Yuuji starts to guide them away from his room and Megumi takes two of his fingers, points them at his eyes then points them right back at Toji. The door shuts.

Toji immediately texted you, his lovely wife, about the great news.

babe guess what

Wifey

what

i hope u ready to have the house to ourselves next week

Wifey

???

sir what are u talking abt

the little shit is finally out of the house dammit

Wifey

!!!

say on god

on my mom

Wifey

u dont even fuck wit her

i dont fuck with no one but u baby

Wifey

...what abt ur son

what abt him?

Now why are you and Toji celebrating the absence of your amazing son? Well to put it simply, to get high as a fucking kite. You two have never really gotten a good opportunity to do so since you started dating so many years ago and Toji even longer before that. Having a kid put a hold on indulging vices. Not that Toji or you minded, Megumi is a wonderful kid. But before having and gaining custody of Megumi when he was 3, he had always anticipated the days he could sit down and light a blunt again.

The last time you and him had smoked frequently was when you two had started dating. Toji was very fond of you so he strived to see you all the time. His baby mother was willing to watch Megumi while he went on dates with you despite how often they were. And he attempted to impress you with his smoking skills. Unfortunately, it had been a long time since the last time he smoked and on the 4th date he ran out of weed and backwoods. Imagine his surprise when he pulled up to your house and you pulled out an airtight jar that was packed full.

"What-what the hell is that?" He exclaimed.

You looked at him with a concerned face, wondering what had gotten him so shook. "Huh? It's Bubba Kush." Toji had never even heard that strain before.

He proceeded to watch you roll the most beautiful blunt he had ever seen in his entire life. You took two large hits and handed it to him. All he could do was look at you. You thought he was cute, but he was taking too long to take it from you. You scrunched up your face and shook your hand. "Take the shit before it goes out, stupid!"

He was smitten.

When he asked you to move in is when the smoking sessions came to an abrupt stop. Something that you completely understood. Megumi was 6 at the time. He was still a pretty young kid so you or Toji always had to be around. And you were. And you both raised a great kid together. And when he finally reached the age of 11, you both thought he would be leaving the house much more frequently like other kids his age were doing. This is when they start going home on the bus together and hanging out at arcades or small restaurants. How could you have known that Megumi would grow an attachment to his parents and never want to leave the house? How would you know that he enjoyed spending time with his dad and stepmom? What preteen likes hanging out with his parents?

Now as it stands, it had been pretty much 8 months since the last time you and Toji smoked and he was tired of it. He prides himself on successfully hiding weed from his son, but if the only thing holding him back was because his son never fucking left the house, then something had to change. This would be the start of many 'yeses' to come.

The day came and you were coming home from work when Toji dropped Megumi off at Yuuji's. Megumi had let his displeasure with the situation be known all week and he was still irritated while Toji drove.

"You know I like being at home."

"Yeah. You're a damn hermit and the shit is weird."

"You're weird."

"I'm not the one who likes hanging out with his parents."

"That's only because grandma and grandpa suck. Your whole family sucks. Mom and Y/N's families are cool."

"What, so you're saying I'm cool? Is that why you like hanging out with me?"

"So you want me to think you're lame?"

How could Toji answer that truthfully without explaining why? "No, I just want you to hang out with your friends. They really like you. Even if you are a loser."

"You're the loser!"

This bickering continued until Toji finally pulled up to the Itadori household. He almost had to force Megumi out of the car and practically pulled him to the front door where he rang the bell. Itadori Sukuna answered and Toji scowled down at him. He didn't like the 17 year-old asshole.

Sukuna looked down at Megumi and grinned. "Hey, my little brother's emo friend arrived. He won't shut up about how your dad finally let you out of the house for once. What changed, Mr. Fushiguro? Huh?" He raised his brow while his smile grew. Toji's face remained stoic although he was starting to get ticked. He tapped his finger against his thigh.

"Just let the kid inside. I don't have time for your nonsense." Sukuna obliged and moved to the side so Megumi could enter the house. The kid turned and waved at his dad before getting jumped by Yuuji and Nobara.

Toji would have chuckled at the scene if it wasn't for Sukuna straining his neck to look past him. Toji realized he was trying to look into his car. "What, do you want a kiss or some shit?" He teased. He raised a bag that had Yuuji's present and put it to his chest. "Here if that's what you're looking for."

Sukuna's face didn't falter. "Y/N couldn't deliver it herself? That's a shame. It's always nice to see her."

Toji scowled. He doesn't know when, but you had become the designated gift giver at some point over the years. Every gift from the Fushiguro household was from you. You made it or bought it with your own money and always delivered it yourself. Toji hated it for this exact reason. He knew this little shit Sukuna had a crush on you. And you just thought it was the most adorable thing in the world as if he wasn't almost a grown man. You would never go for him so it was hilarious, but Sukuna didn't see it that way. He genuinely believes he has a chance of taking you away from Toji and it fuels his already massive ego.

"No. She told me she's tired of you always trying to flirt with her, so I'm gonna be the delivery boy from now on. So get used to it." He lied. Sukuna called his bluff and laughed heartily.

"Yeah alright. Just tell her I missed her today and that I can't wait to see her at the championship game. I'm assuming she's finally taken that stick out of your ass so you can let Megumi go to my games now."

"I'm not gonna tell her shit. You stay the hell away from my wife, delinquent." Toji spat at him through gritted teeth. He turned and walked away before he could respond, but of course, the teenager just laughed and shut the door. Toji was still fuming when he got back in the car, but then he remembered what awaits him at home and he relaxed.

im omw babe

Wifey

okay bby. i just got home

hungry?

Wifey

always

let's go get sum to eat

Wifey

what we getting

idk

Wifey

well figure it out

maybe

You don't respond, most likely trying to figure out what you want to eat. You still hadn't decided on what to eat when Toji pulled back up to the house. You came outside and got in the car. You got out of your work clothes and put on something comfy and casual. You had on a white graphic tee that you cut into a crop top and black cotton shorts. Your gold anklet accentuated your pink crocs and your bleached locs were in a high ponytail. All you brought was your phone and house keys. Toji sped back off when you entered and didn't give you time to adjust causing you to lose your balance and fall back against the door.

"Um, excuse you?" You exclaimed. Toji put his hand on your thigh.

"Sorry babe. I didn't mean to." he said while trying to hold back his laughter. You glared at him.

"Stop laughing." He let out a snort.

"I wasn't laughing at you, baby."

"You just did, liar." You finally put on your seatbelt and sat back. Toji's hand still didn't leave your leg while he drove to your designated smoking spot. As much as you two would love to smoke at home, you didn't want your house to reek and the neighbors were nosy assholes.

You put on your favorite music during the drive. Toji loved listening to your playlist. You always managed to surprise him with the raunchiest and most explicit songs you could possibly think to put on. Every time he thinks he’s heard them all, you have a new one to show him, such as the one that was playing now.

Boy this pussy talk,

English, Spanish, and French

Boy this pussy talk,

Euros, Dollars, and Yens

He kind of recognized the voice. This was that group you really like called City Girls. You’ve played their songs a couple times before. He might have to add this one to his playlist, though. They’re really riding the beat.

You lift your head up when Toji stops the car. He rolls the front windows down a bit and turns it off. You reach into the glove box to get all the materials, the grinder, the papers, the rolling tray and, of course, the weed itself. Toji watches you intently as you work your magic.

He doesn’t just stare at your hands as it breaks the buds apart and stuff them into the grinder, he also looks at your face, your hair, your jewelry, and your body. You were such a beautiful woman.

”You could really be unwrapping the woods and dumping out the tobacco but you wanna sit there and look at me like you stupid.”

And you were such a bitch. Not that he was complaining.

~

When you and Toji met, it was his day off and he wanted to spend it working out. Most people don't really choose to spend the day at work, Toji didn't really have a choice in this case. Plus, he owned the place, so he could really do whatever he wanted.

You walked into the gym just as he was finishing his last set. He was all sweaty and gross and you looked really cute with your locs in pigtails. You had on a matching gray set that he's seen on a number of girls. It never looked this good on any of them, though. He prides himself on not being a creep, but he stole plenty of glances at you when you were checking in. Your butt looked really, really good. It was when you had walked into the women's locker room when he realized he hadn't taken his eyes off of it. He blinked, then looked to his left to see Gojo Satoru smirking at him.

"You're such a weirdo." He joked.

"Fuck off." Toji had the smallest blush on his face and he grimaced in embarrassment. He really hadn't meant to be checking you out, but he couldn't help it. You were pretty.

It took you only a couple of minutes to come out of the locker room with nothing but a water bottle and Airpods. Toji wasn't paying attention as he had refocused on finishing his workout, but you caught his eye again when he turned around to leave. You were punching in settings on the treadmill.

Toji paused with his towel and water in his hand and deliberated what his next moves should be. He was tired, wet, and smelled gross. He had been here since he dropped Megumi off at daycare and he wanted to spend some time relaxing at home before he had to get the little menace. But then you started speed walking and your boobs were bouncing so nicely that he just had to get on the treadmill next to you.

Toji is no better than every other man.

He successfully ignored the look that Gojo had thrown at him before unsuccessfully pulling off a casual walk over to where you were. Toji purposefully walks into your line of sight, sweating inwardly knowing that he caught your eye. You look away when he gets on the treadmill right next to yours. He gives you a nod and a smile expecting a small one back. Instead, the aloof look on your face remains and you look him up and down. Then you go right back to speed walking.

He blinked. Okay, he wasn’t expecting that. Maybe he was coming on too strong by choosing the treadmill next to you. It’s too late now. He punches in the same stats on your treadmill and starts walking as well. He’s taking glances at you but you don’t look over to him even once. Or maybe you’re looking when he’s not looking. From how annoyed your face is, he doubts it.

After a couple minutes, you increase your speed to a jog. Toji decides to play a little game for your attention, and does the same, ending on the exact same speed you’re on. He can’t tell if you notice, but it doesn’t matter to him one bit. He could do this for ages.

Every time you increase your speed, he does the same, and Toji knows he’s gotten you when you increase it significantly and you’re full on running. He’s impressed that you’ve gone this long, but he’s gone longer. He follows suit, as expected. And that's when you give him a glare. And it only gets more sinister when you see the cheeky grin on his face. You turn up the setting to the point where you’re full on sprinting. Toji, and some onlookers, has never seen a woman more determined to outperform a man in his life. And he’s had his fair share of lovers. And despite the deeply confused and slightly frightened look on his face, he's having a lot of fun.

And your reaction to him keeping up with your very impressive speed was worth the strain on his body. You press the stop button on the machine slowing you down to the perfect yet quick stop. You stare at him with your hands on your hips. He smiles and does the same. You’re both staring each other down.

“Yes ma’am?” he grins.

“You think you’re cute?” You say, panting heavily.

“No. I think you’re cute.” He responds, smoothly. You jerk your head back and blink.

“Hmph. Well I don’t.”

“How could you not think you’re cute?”

You roll your eyes. “You know what the fuck I meant.” You grab your water and start to walk away. Toji, even though he doesn’t want to look desperate, follows you. You head to the paper towel dispenser and begin to wipe away your sweat, Toji standing behind you ready with the excuse that he needed the paper towels too. You were very frustrated, so you were punching the dispense switch very aggressively.

Toji couldn’t help himself. “I thought I was the one who pissed you off. Don’t take it out on my dispensers. I’ll have to replace them.”

You paused for a second, then turned to look at him. “...You own this gym?” He nods. “Oh hell no. This is the last time you’ll see me here.”

Toji grabs his heart. “You’re breaking my heart, miss…?” He lets the sentence linger so you can finish it for him.

But instead you almost look offended. You really are cute. “I’m not giving you my name!”

He grabs his heart with his other hand and pretends to stumble back. “Agh! You’re breaking it even more.” He leans his hand on the wall and holds himself up, then looks at you smiling. He managed to catch the end of a slight laugh that escaped you. You cover your mouth, but it’s too late. Toji knows he’ll see you again.

And he does the week after while sitting at the receptionist desk filling out some paperwork. Just when he was starting to think you weren’t joking, you walk right in with your Airpods and duffel bag wearing a different matching set, but it looks just as good on you. He puts on a huge grin and watches your face fall as you walk up to him.

“Good morning, are you sign-”

“Getting on the treadmill again today, sweetheart?” He rudely interrupts his employee, who just rolls her eyes and goes to the back room to get on her phone.

“I don’t know who the hell ‘sweetheart’ is, but I’m not her." Ah. And you brought your attitude with you as well. More fun for him.

“Me neither. Maybe if I knew her name, I wouldn’t have to call her that.” He smiles widely.

“Well I hope you figure it out one day.”

“Oh, I’m about to right now.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.”

“How?”

“She has to give me her name to sign her in. That’s how.” He got you looking stuck and somewhat embarrassed. And that fuck ass smile has not left his face.

“Oh, shut the fuck up…” Your eyes shift downwards slightly and you meet his gaze again. “Toji.” You tell him your name afterwards and he signs you into the computer.

“Have a good workout…sweetheart.” He immediately lets out a boisterous laughter seeing the daggers your eyes are shooting at him and he makes it his life mission to annoy you until you say yes to a date and annoy everyday afterwards.

~

And he has. So, how can he complain about his wife being a bitch when he chose you because of it?

He does what you request, and hands you the leaf so you can finish rolling. Watching you bring it to your lips and start to slick the wood down with your tongue was always a spectacle. Not just because it look cool, but because he never failed to joke about it. “Why can’t you do that to my wood?”

You rolled your eyes. “Not this shit again.” The both of you stared at the flame from your lighter while you used it to seal the leaf. “Are you always gonna make that joke?”

Toji grinned stupidly. “Yes.” You tried, but failed to hold your laughter.

”I hate you, babe,” you giggled. Toji laughed with you and the both of you proceeded to get super duper high.

You guys were halfway through it and you were in the midst of discussing the new drama in your girlfriend group chat when he interrupted you. “Hey. Hey. Hey-“

”What? You see I’m not done talking.”

Toji pauses and just stares at you, making you even more irritated. “Man, what?”

”Let’s have sex.”

You looked at him like he was crazy then shifted your gaze to his crotch. There, in all of its glory, was a tent in his pants. Typical. He always does this. He becomes very talkative when he’s high, so whenever he goes quiet, you knew something was up.

Toji was staring you down ever since he took the first hit. He looked at your breasts and smirked upon seeing your nipples poking through your shirt. He saw how smooth your neck looked and thought abt how nice it feels to sink his teeth into it. The sounds you make are absolutely gorgeous.

Then he stared at your hair. It was so soft and pretty. The blonde was extremely cute, but he liked them the most when they were ginger. He thinks the color is called Cajun Spice or something like that. It matched well with your skin tone.

At some point while you were talking he put his hands on your thigh and started stroking it with his thumb. You didn’t notice, you subconsciously put your hand on top of his grabbing his fingers. The action filled his heart with warmth, smiling at you while relaxing his head on the seat. Just listening to you talk.

Okay, maybe he wasn’t listening. He was imagining how loud you would be if he opened up your door and bent you over the passenger seat. Hm, that sounds like a really good idea.

You look back into his eyes after seeing how hard his dick had gotten and you couldn’t help but smirk. You were clearly trying to keep your smile down, but it wasn’t working. “So you’re not hungry?”

”I am. For something else.”

“…You’ve charmed me,” you say, making Toji laugh.

”Oh, I have?” He takes off his seat belt.

”Yeah, you have.” You say, following suit.

”Then come here.” Toji grabs you as soon as your seatbelt snaps back, pulling you over the center console to kiss you passionately. It’s kind of uncomfortable for you, you have to kneel onto the seats from the way he pulled you over. You would have said something about it, but you were already so wet and he was grabbing you so tightly that the thought left your head.

Toji was moaning in your mouth so much you could feel it vibrate through your body. You could tell he was really getting into it from the way he shifted himself forward to grab your ass and thigh. He decides that he’s had enough. He needs you now. “Take off your shorts.” He opens up his door to come to your side of the car. You can feel yourself becoming giddy while slipping off your bottoms and shoes.

When Toji opens up your door, he sees you in all of your glory. You were bare from the waist down. Your legs are so shapely and smooth, they look beautiful in the moonlight. So were your perfect thighs that he desperately wanted to grasp and never let go. Your glistening cunt tied the whole thing together. He could only imagine how soaked your panties must have been.

But the best sight was the bright and excited smile that stretched across your lovely face. He was falling in love all over again.

”You look happy,” he teased, kneeling onto the hard ground.

“Speak for yourself.” Toji’s smile was just as wide as yours. He made it very clear that he absolutely adored eating you out. He once described it as his favorite pastime. And he was fucking good at it.

Toji took sometime to rub your legs, leaving kisses leading up to your hot center. You couldn’t take your eyes off him. He savored every single smooch as if it was the last time he would get the chance to kiss you.

He spread your legs the closer he got. The fucker slowed down as well, leaving you to whimper pathetically. He smirked and chuckled at you. You had a mouth on you yet when he made you wet you were like puddy in his hands. He gave you a small, but firm bite, his dick twitching when he hears you hiss.

When Toji finally tasted your sweet center, he moaned. He gave it a small kiss, then tenderly licked it, spreading your lips slightly with his tongue. He looked up at you and saw your head fall backwards along with your eyes rolling into the back of your head. Your mouth refused to close, a sound of satisfied pleasure leaving from it. You were so beautiful.

Toji encloses his mouth around your pussy in an extremely sloppy kiss. His mouth is covered in slick and he finds that he likes it so much that he continues making it sloppier by the second. The little squeaks that you’re making in your throat are really cute, but he wants more. He takes his thumb and begins to rub your clit up and down, making sure to get your wetness all over it. It was effective in making you even louder.

”Oh, shit.” You whine. Toji removes his hand just to replace it with his tongue. “Fuck, baby.” You get even louder and your hips begin to grinding into his mouth. You grab his hair in an attempt to keep him still even though you love what he’s doing. Toji loves it and he goes even harder. “Mm, Toji it feels so good.”

He removes his mouth to suck on his fingers. After he wets them up, he inserts on of his digits into your wet pussy. It goes in with ease. You feel his thick finger enter you and as much as you love it, you want more.

”Put another one in, baby.” Toji smiles and bites his lips.

”Anything you want.” He yields to your request, inserting a second finger and pumping them. That makes you moan even louder.

”Yeah, just like that.” He doesn’t take his eyes away from yours. Yours are lidded but he can still see the want in them. The longer he looks, the more he wants you. His fingers pump you harder and harder and you get louder and louder, all while staring him in the eyes. The familiar feeling of release builds up in your abdomen. Your breathing picks up.

”Oh, Toji…Toji…”

”Yes baby?” He starts to smile at you. Your cunt starts getting wetter. He knew what was about to happen.

”I’m gonna cum,” Your voice is so breathy it’s beautiful.

”Go ahead and cum on my fingers, baby.” You do exactly that. As much as he loved keeping eye contact with you, watching you throw your head back and curse while feeling your cum drip from your pussy onto his seats was a much better alternative. He couldn’t wait any longer.

Toji removed his fingers from you and held them up to your face. You flick your tongue out before wrapping your mouth around it. You look at him while maneuvering your head back and forth sucking them dry. Toji stares down at you smiling.

”God, you’re a slut.” He tells you. You release his fingers with a pop and nod your head, smiling.

”What am I going to do with you?” He takes his shirt off before pulling down his pants and briefs, his thick and throbbing member slapping back onto his stomach. He looked amazing. His face was glistening with cum. You took your time to stare at him and his body. His muscles and abs were on display for anyone who had the misfortune (or let’s be honest, fortune) to pass by with their headlights on. His pants and underwear pooled at his ankles and you can’t help but think about how nice his butt looks right now. Just sitting out in the wind. You giggle.

”What’s funny?” He asks, tugging on his dick preparing to lean over you.

”Your ass probably looks so good right now.”

”Why you wanna bite it?” He holds himself over you and pushes your legs up. You lick your lips.

“A little bit. It’s not like I haven’t done it before.” Toji smirks then kisses you sweetly. Without even warning you, he pushes himself into your pussy refusing to let up from the kiss when your mouth instinctively opens wide. The feeling of Toji sinking into you is euphoric, and it gets even better when he’s fully inserted inside of you. He sighs. The two of you are connected at the hip and it feels just as good as the first time.

Toji looks down at the two of you. Your stomach is so beautiful when your thighs are pressed against it. Your ankles were laying on his shoulder pushing your abdomen down and making you feel full. He can’t stop looking at it as he slowly begins to pull himself out of you. You start to whine desperately, grabbing at his back to keep him inside of you. But Toji slams himself back into you making you practically scream. He starts a steady pace of fucking you into his seats. You sound delicious grunting into his ear with every thrust.

“You like that, don’t you?” Obviously.

“Oh my fucking God, yes.” You respond looking at him. He’s holding your hip with one hand and brings the other behind your head putting his body weight on your elbow. Toji pulls your head up to his to kiss you once more. You swallow each other’s moans and his thrusts become more intense. You scratch at his back leaving new scars amongst his old ones.

“Does my pussy feel good, Toji?” You whisper into his ear. He groans into yours and you clench your cunt around his dick.

“So fucking good, baby girl.” It’s his turn to sound breathless. It tickles your ear.

“Will you moan for me? Will you say my name?” You ask. He nods and begins to whine. He sounds desperate for your pussy, as if it he would die if he stopped fucking you for even one second.

“Ngh…(Y/N), I fucking love this pussy.” He whimpers. He sounds so hot, you can feel your release coming soon.

“I know you do baby.” You taunt. Toji weakly lifts his hand from your hip and it crawls up your torso between your breasts to grip your neck. You can’t talk and your head remains still. Toji’s breath is hot on your cheek while he turns his head.

“You’re a dirty fucking bitch you know that?” He tells you. Toji thrusts into you one more time and stops. You look at him in desperation while he pulls himself out of you. “Open your mouth.” As soon as you do, he drools onto your tongue then leans down to make out with it. It ends with your tongue being sucked into his mouth.

“Turn around, bitch.” He commands. You twirl around and hike your ass into the air, twerking a little bit while smiling at him. He grins and slaps your cheek hard. Then, Toji lines himself up with your pussy once more, and pushes himself into you from behind.

He can’t even hear how amazing you sound, he’s so focused on how wet you are. He tilts his head back wards and groans. “Oh, shit.” He begins to fuck you from the back, getting even more excited seeing your ass clap on his stomach.

He holds onto your hips as if it’s a lifeline. At some point, you turn to look back at him and you look so fucking slutty it’s not even funny. Toji can’t help himself when he reaches for your hair then yanks your upper body towards him, causing you to arch your back. He reaches over to grab one of your tits knowing that they probably looked amazing bouncing from him fucking the shit out of you.

You’re loud and spewing curses, but so is Toji. He can feel your pussy clenching around him again. “You’re about to cum again, aren’t you?” All you can do is nod too busy screaming his name. “Then cum on my dick, baby. Come on.”

“Okay daddy.” Toji smacked your ass again.

“Fuck, say that again.”

“Okay, daddy.” You say while releasing on his member, leaving a white ring of cream around his base. Toji pushes himself down onto you grabbing his seats and ramming himself into your pussy. You’re already slumped, not even trying to lift your head up and just letting your cheek squish into the chair. Your moans are quick and desperate. Hoping that it never ends. But from the speed at which Toji thrusts inside of you, his breath picking up and his moans becoming more wild and loose, you knew it would end soon.

“I’m gonna cum, baby girl. Where do you want it?”

You gather enough strength to tell him, “On my face, Toji. Please cum on my face.”

Oh, he was so glad you said that. He fucks you for a little while longer before ripping himself from you. You immediately turn around and kneel down, face lined up right underneath his balls. Toji pumps his dick and looks at you staring up at him in anticipation. You look so fucking beautiful, he releases a guttural and intense moan while his thick, white seed spills all over your face. You accept it gracefully, then when he’s done you lick the remaining cum from his dick. He shudders.

“Damn, babe.” He laughs. “You’ve never looked prettier.”

You would bat your eyes if he didn’t cum on one of them, so you opt to giggle and pose cutely. “You should take a picture.” You joke.

Well, he takes it seriously. Toji pulls up his pants and underwear to find his phone, snatching it up and snapping as many pics of you as he can. You go along with it and actually start to pose while his semen drops down your face and onto your body, mainly your tits. He makes sure to take a picture of that too.

“Yeah, this is going in the vault.” He puts his phone away, gets the paper towel roll he keeps in his car for this very reason and wipes your face for you. When you’re all clean you look so fucking gorgeous he can’t help but to kiss both of your cheeks.

“What was that for?” You ask, pulling your shirt down and putting on your shorts.

Toji shrugs. “I love you. So much.”

You give him a slight glare and his stupid smile falls. “What?”

“You just saying that because I let you cum on my face.” Toji feigns offense and dramatically puts his hand to his chest and scoffs and gasps.

“How dare you. I love you for you are AND you let me cum on your face.” He says. You roll your eyes.

“Take us home so you can do it again, loser." You slam the door shut and start to light the unfinished blunt once more.

Toji looks at you through the window and can’t help but stare in absolute infatuation. You really are perfect for him.

“Can you come the fuck on?” You open the door to shout at him.

“Yes, baby.”

ending a/n: I started this series to take a break every once in a while from all the angst I write, lmao. I have quite a few story ideas, but none of them are fully written just yet. Be sure to check back for the next installment in the series🩵🩵🩵

Pics are from Pinterest btw

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[angel-shaw]

OK! TMA child AU! Cuz some people showed interest!!

Ok so the basic idea is that a bunch of the TMA crew are kids under Elias and Gertrudes care.

In order of adoption we have

-Michael Shelly. Gertrude adopted him at a very young age and he has no memory of his birth parents or how exactly Gertrude found him

-Gerry, Gerry is an slightly older teen who still technically lives with his mom but he spends most of his time at the manor (the manor is basically just a big house idk). Gertrude knew Mary but lowkey hated that bitch so she stole her kid.

-Jon. Again Gertrude knew Jon’s grandma so when she couldn’t, or didn’t want to, take care of Jon she took him in. He still visits her.

-Martin, Gertrude was very close to Martins mom so she already knew Martin, when his mom got hospitalized she agreed to look after him. He vists as oftan as he can, even some of the other kids do.(his moms not a total bitch in this btw…yet)

-Sasha, she lived on the streets and tried to mug Elias. She did fail but only cuz Elias is who he is. He thought she was adorable and was tired of the other kids he needed to care for so he brought her home and legally adopted her.

-Tim + Michal(distortion). Tim and Michal were found together. They both were found by Gerry after excapeing their situation. At first they were very hesitant but recognized Sasha from her time on the street so they agreed to stay there. They are very close to each other and don’t trust easily (well Tim doesn’t, Michal has no sense of danger)

-Jane, Martin found her under a bridge wejile playing with bugs one day, she looked cold so he brought her back to the house. Gertrude helped clean her up, she had extremely matted hair and a lot of bugs attached to her. She wouldn’t let go of Martin until hours later.

-Melony, idk when she showed up or how or what her family situation is, she is here tho and I love her.

-Georgie is friends with Jon but doesn’t live with them, she has parents and house. She does come over often tho because Elias is rich.

-Basira also doesn’t live there, but no one except Daisy knows where she lives. She’s really only over if Daisy is.

-Daisys dad is a cop who works by the manor, she goes with him to work and wonders as she likes. She ends up at the house a lot because there’s always something interesting going on.

Then there’s Michael Crew who’s dateing Gerry. (I saw a tictok and I love them together now, leave me alone)

-Not Sasha is also here btw, the kids say her name in a very heavy American accent and that’s how they differ the names between Sasha and her, I will just say it’s not Sasha cuz idk how to show it’s different 💀. I don’t have a very solid idea for how she got picked up but I think she would be trying to impersonate Sasha in someway, maybe online or something and somehow just ended up moving in

Elias is dateing/married to Peter. He’s around sometimes

There is everyone who is included this far!

I do have a separate house that is run by The Angler fish (in a human form obviously) and he cares for kids as well, like the med students, Nicola, N!Sasha (kinda), Jane(eventually she walks between the two places to just hang out so he cares for her when she’s with them), and one suprise kid! :D (Guess who!)

I haven’t actually written anything but I have a lot of story and head canons:) but I don’t wanna make this to long so if y’all like this I’ll post more!!

Tag list for those who responded to my original post so y’all can see this!!! :D

@frontflip-somersault-express @jubjubbird @thehistoryone @aboxisonmyhead @nonbinarytoast @moonvalley94 @pigeons-with-jello @riddle-on-the-milk-carton

I hope I got y’all’s tags right!!! Please leave comments and suggestions!!! I love reading and hearing input!!! Plus if you wanna ask questions about the AU that will help give me something the jump off on!

[s4tvrnsays]

Finally got around to drawing Élodie! The last artwork i did makes her look scary lol but shes a cutie pie trust me.

Some info about her:

She does ballet. She dislikes it though, and only does it because she’s forced to. She doesn’t want to be under the spotlight doing the jumps and twirls. Rather, she wants to be the one behind the camera lens, the one over the keyboard writing article after article about ballet.

Her hobby is photography. Her parents dont approve, but her older brother helps her out by getting her an early internship at the magazine where he works. Through this internship is where she will first meet adrien.

She’s a mean ass bitch lol. Has absolutely zero friends because she hates everyone at school. Alya specifically hates her the most because when she came up to Élodie to ask her if she wanted to help her with the school paper (since she knows the girl also likes journalism), Élodie just gave her a rude look and walked away, earning alyas scorn ever since haha

This isnt just some quirk, its one of her biggest problems, along with her temper. She sees people as nuisances and beneath her, ignoring the fact that she needs people in her life. Her journey —aided by her kwami— will be to be truer to herself, and learn tolerance and altruism, and be more accepting of people’s friendship.

Her favorite thing in the world is chocolate. Its an actual obsession, something her parents dont approve of (shocker) because she “has to keep her figure”. But she ignores them, and keeps a stash of it on her at all times.

The second picture is what i think she’d look like if she switched her miraculous (Élodie says she hates the bows but the girly girl inside her is jumping for joy).

Alternate Universe details under the cut!

So basically, élodie is from my enhance mlb au thats been spinning in my head recently. It’s basically a mix of early seasons miraculous and concept mlb.

It’s unlikely that this will ever be anything but a concept au bc i have commitment issues but-

Here are the things i changed/added (when it comes to the heroes):

I always thought that lb’s miraculous ladybug power shouldnt be exclusive to her, so i removed it in favor of bringing back her concept powers (the shapeshifting yoyo). In the case of cn, i gave him his old power of black hole because why the hell does he have one power????

But this poses a problem— who will cleanse the akumas? Thats where élodie comes in!

For context, in this au Ladybug and Chat Noir are WAYYYY more chaotic:

Ladybug is still the planner, but her plans are way crazier and confusing to carry out. She gets so caught up in her imagination and idea of a plan, that she fails to consider what might happen if it goes wrong.

Chat Noir is more destructive, more trigger happy with his cataclysm. He finally gets to be free of his dad breathing down his neck and he’ll he damned if he won’t enjoy it!

Élodie as Cigognelle will be the mediator between them. She makes sure the balance is kept, and that they dont blow up the world while theyre trying to save it. That is the purpose of the crane miraculous. It has the power of reguvination and longevity. The balance is preserved, lengthened, and anomalies are corrected.

Its power of increasing its holder’s lifespan made it a favorite of guardians, including Master Fu.

Its kwami, Xiann, is wise and all knowing, often picking his own holders. He sees potential in them, and aids them into becoming true cranes — true upholders of the balance between creation and destruction.

To summarize, here are the big 3’s powers. There will be primary, secondary, and passive powers for each.

Ladybug:

Primary: Lucky Charm, gives the holder clues to help them win the battle. Same as the og.

Secondary: bug bomb/shield/staff. Its in the name, the holder can transform the yoyo into one of these weapons. They can only transform it once each battle, so ladybugs must carefully choose which one will aid them. This doesn’t mean it cant go back to its og form, just that it cant turn into a bomb AND a shield in the same battle.

Passive: grants good luck to its holder. No downsides, ladybugs really are just blessed.

Oh and for fun lets give them side effects.

Side effect: holders become far more tired in the winter, sleeping longer.

Black Cat:

Primary: Cataclysm, destroys anything the holder touches, turning it into dust. Also no change.

Secondary: Black hole. The black cat holder can teleport objects from one black hole to the next. Only two black holes can be present at the same time.

Passive: grants bad luck to its holder. This causes a lot of strife for the holders, but once they learn to accept their miraculous the bad luck will lessen, though never fading.

Side effect: black cats become more nocturnal after becoming the holders of this miraculous, and may or may not have a strange fascination with small, moving objects…. (They have enough self restraint to not chase after them though…)

Crane:

Primary: Ameliorate, which heals all damage caused by unnatural forces, such as kwami powers. However, if the damage from the fight happened too long ago, it will be considered a part of the natural environment, and will only restore future damage up to that point.

Secondary: Gust. Allows the holders to create powerful wind gusts with a flap of their “wings”. Only three gusts can be created each battle (because i had to give this power a downside)

Passive: extends its holder’s lifespan by 20 and up to 40 years. Depending on how long it takes the crane holder to become a true crane, their life span will either increase by a bit (if they learn sooner) or by a BUNCH (if its later).

Side effect: lying becomes way harder, and honesty — especially to oneself — will be all that the holders can say. Also, cranes often find themselves becoming more sociable after gaining their miraculous, which is often a shock since most cranes start of as quite antisocial.

All three can cleanse akumas but only the crane can restore damage !

And thats all!!

This formatting was horrible but i didnt plan any of this, its all word vomit LOL. If you have any thoughts about this, or any way my au can be improved (bc im really trying to make sure all protagonists get equal importance and care, i don’t want Cigognelle to be a mary sue lol) please make a comment! I dont have anyone thinking this up with me, its all from my noggin, so feedback is always welcome!

[nerdazzler]

Royal Sword Academy Au

Welcome to the good guys team! Pt. 5-6

Coming out of the wall the ghost circles around Fiddellen and you. “Oh it’s been so long since I’ve had any friends! You both look fun! Wanna play?” The ghost cheerfully exclaims. “Kill it with fire!” Fiddlellen shouts from the floor, pointing at the ghost like it's a bug. “Can ghosts even burn?” You retort. The ghost just giggles at your bickering. “Hehe! Ghosts can’t burn, silly!” The ghost stops circling around you two for a second “…At least I don’t think they can…” it seems to be in thought.

The ghost shakes its head before clapping its hands together. “Oh! Where are my manners! I never asked you for your names!” The ghost circles around you, getting close to your face. “You are…?” You introduce yourself to the ghost as (Y/N). The ghost then circles around Fiddellen, going through the floorboards to be at eye level with him. “And you?” Fiddellen doesn’t respond. “His name is Fiddellen.” You answer for him. The ghost giggles flying out of the floor, floating in front of the both of you. “And my name is!…um…I actually don’t remember!” They sheepishly smile, giggling to themselves.

The ghost pouts. “It’s been so long…” and then their face brightens up. “Heyyy! Maybe you can name me!” The ghost is way too close to your face for comfort. Hesitantly stepping back, you unconsciously nod at the ghost. “Sure.” The ghost claps in response. “Yippie!”

Fiddellen glare at you. “How about we don’t do that!?” You skeptically look at him. “And why not?” Fiddellen looks at you like you’ve lost all common sense. “Because if we name it! We get attached and it gets attached to us! And we don’t want that!!” You roll your eyes at him. “Stop being mean to the ghost Fiddellen.” He looks completely done with you. “No!” 

The ghost giggles at you two. “You two are so funny!” Fiddellen glares at the ghost, “I am not-!” His sentence is cut off by the lights of the hallway abruptly turning on, the ghost disappearing with the lights. “Did I miss something?” Ambrose has a tray in his hands. You’re guessing he’s the one who turned the hallway light on. His question is however met with silence. To which he awkwardly smiles and holds up the tray. “I have bought you dinner?” 

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

You take a bite of food from the tray Ambrose gave you. “Oi! Did you know we have ghosts in here?” The elderly man thinks for a minute before answering your question, “Yes! I’ve heard rumors of a ghost residing here, I’ve hear they’re quite friendly!” Fiddellen takes a grape from a fruit bowl that was put on the tray while rolling his eyes. “Friendly? More like scary.” Yes, you have to share your food with Fiddellen because he refused to eat anything besides the food you were given. (The little bitch)

Thinking about it, Ambrose hasn’t acknowledged Fiddellen’s presence. Maybe he doesn’t care? Or maybe he hasn’t found a good time to acknowledge it. Deciding not to question it, you take another bite of food from your tray.

You three sit there in silence for a good minute. Before Ambrose speaks up “Well! Glad you enjoyed the food,” he gets up from his chair, giving a curt bow towards you and the fairy. “Good to see you again, Fiddlellen.” And escorting himself out of the building before reminding you, “If you need anything don’t be afraid to ask.” Bidding both you and Fiddellen a good night.

You look down at the fairy. “Sooo…do you basically live here now orrrr?”

∘₊✧──────✧₊∘

There you lay, in bed, looking up at the ceiling; letting your ever raging thoughts consume you.

 A lot had happened today. 

You woke up in a strange school thinking, was a part of a (chaotic) entrance ceremony, got publicly embarrassed in said ceremony, thought everything was a dream only to find out it was very much real. You met a (rude) fairy named Fiddlellen that now lives with you (for some reason), the headmaster of the school now has you attending classes as a pastime until he can find a way to get you home. Fun stuff.

It’s honestly a lot to take in. But it hasn’t been all that bad so far. The place you’re staying in is nice. The people seem…tolerable. Then why is it that you can’t seem to get any sleep? Oh, that’s right. School. “Here we go again.” You think to yourself…wait. Did you even go to school? 

The idea of attending classes in the school came up when you were walking back to the common room with Ambrose and Fiddellen after the old man had brought you the tray of food.  

“You know. I was thinking about what to do with you while I look for a way to get you home, and I decided it would be best to have you attend classes as if you were a normal student.” The elderly man said as he looked at you. Shooting him a puzzled look, “But what about the fact I have no magic?” You ask. 

The old man nods. “I took that into account and decided that you would just sit and watch if the teacher was doing a magic based assignment, or you may participate in the activity however you’d like.” You nod. “Alright.” He nods back. “That, or you could have your fairy friend participate in your place-“ 

Wait. I guess he did acknowledge the fairy’s presence at some point. Guess you just glossed over it. Rolling over, facing a drawer by the bed. Fiddellen is sleeping with a decorative pillow as his bed and a small piece of fabric as a blanket. From how it sounds it doesn’t seem the most comfortable but you’re guessing if it’s for someone his size it’s probably quite cozy. The small fairy is glowing again. He's almost like a nightlight, it’s comforting in a way. 

Adjusting yourself in bed and getting comfortable. “Here we go again.” You mumble to yourself. Wait, did you even go to school? What were you even doing before you got here? The thought hurts to think about, maybe we’ll dive on it more tomorrow. Closing your eyes and snuggling up to your pillow, peacefully falling asleep.

Everything is black. You open your eyes but everything is still black. It’s an unpleasant and unwelcome darkness. Something also feels…heavy? Your face feels oddly heavy. Wait, is something on your face? Reaching out for whatever object is obscuring your vision, only to feel something soft in the place of your face.

Wait, soft?! Immediately sitting up, feeling whatever was on your face fall, making a ‘hiss’ sound. Looking down you see a gray cat sitting in your lap, glaring at you. Looking at the cat more you swear you’ve seen it before, you can’t put your finger on where you’ve seen it though.

The more you try to pinpoint where you’ve seen this cat the more your head starts to get an unpleasant fuzzy feeling. Shaking your head to dispel the static sensation in your head. Standing up a bit, the cat hops off your lap and scurries off. 

Stretching out your back, you get ready to start the day. You do have school after all.

After getting dressed you search the halls for your fairy friend, he wasn’t on the top of the drawer where you saw him last night. heading to the kitchen in the castle, you find it full of animals.  “What. The FUCK.”  Are the first words you’ve uttered all morning.

“Gooooood morning!” The ghost from last night seems to be in the kitchen as well, holding up a rabbit “Aren’t they cute?” a shout comes from one of the cabinets, “Cute my ass! A bird is trying to eat me!” You recognize the voice as Fiddlellen. A bird about twice his size is attempting to peck at him from his hiding place in the cabinet. 

It’s probably seven in the goddamn morning and a bunch of animals are in your kitchen. “What the bullshit hell?!” 

Attempting to shoo away the animals the best you can. Key word: attempt. Once the animals had taken note of your presence they all flocked towards you. Fiddellen snickers from his hiding spot, “Since when were you the animal whisperer?” You just growl at him in response, too busy trying to pry all the animals off of you. 

“Oh good morning!” The ghost from last night seems to be in the kitchen as well. They hold up a rabbit “Aren’t they cute?” You hear a shout from one of the cabinets in the kitchen, “Cute my ass! A bird is trying to eat me!” You recognize the voice as Fiddlellen. A bird about twice his size is attempting to peck at him from his hiding place in the cabinet.

It’s probably seven in the goddamn morning and a bunch of animals are in your kitchen. “What the hell?!”

Attempting to shoo away the animals the best you can. Key word: attempt. Once the animals had taken note of your presence they all flocked towards you. Fiddellen snickers from his hiding spot, “Since when were you the animal whisperer?” You just growl at him in response, too busy trying to pry all the animals off of you.

The ghost giggles at your suffering. “They really like you!”, “Well too bad because I don’t like them.” You grumble, Still attempting to pry the animals off of you. It is seven in the morning and your brain is not ready to deal with whatever isekai-magic-bullshit this world has to offer. 

It took you a few minutes but you finally managed to get the animals off of you. If you don’t count the blue birds in your hair or the squirrel that will not stop hugging the shit out of your leg.

Sucking up your irritation, you calmly walk to the kitchen fridge. Opening it and finding it fully stocked. “Oh! About that!” The ghost speaks as if they had remembered something. The ghost hands you a note,“Ambrose left this after he stocked the fridge for you!” Opening up the note it says:

“Good Morning, (Y/N!)

Hope you are having a good morning so far. I bought you everything you should need to make yourself a healthy meal and stored it in your fridge for you. However, if you can’t cook that’s quite alright. I’d be delighted to teach you whenever I’m free. 

In the meantime I have left you some easy to microwave food. The microwave in the residence should still be working if I’m not mistaken. If not do feel free to contact me. I should also mention that I have left you a few items on the kitchen counter that should be of use for your first day of school.

Best Regards! -Ambrose the 63rd.”

Wow, this man sounds like a dad.  “Yoooo! He gave us 500 madols! Not bad!” Fiddellen has emerged from his hiding place and has resided by the kitchen counter. Which, as stated in the letter; has a few items laying on it. On the counter is what looks to be a map of the school, and some money. “Damn this place is huge.” You mumble to yourself, as you examine the locations on the map. 

“yea...it is.” A voice whispers right in your ear, causing you to jump. Quickly turning around you see the culprit behind your jump scare was the ghost. 

“Hehe! Sorry about that!” The ghost giggles at your scared face. Taking a minute to momentarily restart your heart before making yourself a quick breakfast, grabbing the map of the school and money from off the kitchen counter and leaving the castle dorm with fiddlellen flying after you. 

Officially starting your first day of school! 

——

RSA au part 1-2.

RSA au part 3-4

[xco-sm]

With Great Power Comes Love?

Style Fanfic (Stan x Kyle)

AU: Spiderman Stan and Fake Dating

*They are 16-17!!*

*Characters do not belong to me, they belong to Trey Parker and Matt Stone! I own the story!

*Do not publish this story anywhere else without my consent!

This is part 1 of my new fic! I hope you guys enjoy it so far and I can't wait to get chapter 1 out for you all! Any ideas and/or feedback is welcome and will be taken into consideration! I will publish this on ao3 once it is completely finished!

TW! Slurs! TW!

Prologue

Up North of Denver, Colorado, is a town called South Park and there lived a teenage boy named Stan Marsh. He has jet black, messy greasy hair and dark blue almond shaped eyes. Most would say he’s just a basic guy with a classic group of friends: Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman. As well as a typical family of four, including parents Randall and Sharon Marsh and his older sister, Shelly. 

No one would ever suspect that he was the hero that saves their small little town from the crimes that happen. The one they call Spiderman.

Like every other Spiderman in different universes, Stan was bitten by a radioactive spider. He struggled to learn his newly formed powers and adapt them to his everyday life. However, it was made much easier by his super best friend, Kyle Brofloski. 

The pair had been friends since diapers and had been glued to the hip since. Most people would say they are a bit funny… However, they both couldn’t care less about what others thought of them.

Now most Spider-Man's origin stories are all different and unique. Stan’s was definitely unique…

“Ouch! Awe sick dude,” Stan complained with pain. 

He was currently on the ground of a forest (why were they there? Don’t ask) after he ate shit from what Cartman would later call “a pathetic bitch fall.” The boy was pushing his upper body up from the ground when all of a sudden his ass felt like it was getting poked at by hundreds of mosquitos. “Fucking shit, I think a bug just bit my butt dude.”

The other boys all gave a face of disgust and instead of helping the one who fell, they simply started laughing. All except Kyle. “It was probably an ant dude, not a big deal. Now get off the floor, there could be dog shit for all we know.” Kyle walked closer to Stan in case he needed aid.

“No, you don’t get it, it actually fucking hurts dude. I think I might die or something. Can someone check?”

Everyone went completely silent at what Stan just said. It lingered on for at least three more minutes until Cartman practically yelled, “Kyle, you do it, he’s your faggy boyfriend.” Kyle simply rolled his eyes in annoyance and crouched down to where Stan was now rubbing his backside in pain. “I’m sure it’s not bad, I’ll help you get up so we can take you to your place so your mom can check it out.” 

“No! Like I think it was a spider, please check,” Stan pleaded with an obvious pout that would’ve worked if he was still 8, but he wasn’t, he was now reaching the age of 17. 

“Fine, take your pants off.”

Another silence took over the four boys, but instead of minutes going bye, seconds loomed over them. This time it was the blonde of the group to break the silence with a loud and what Kyle would say an obnoxious laugh. Cartman soon joined after spewing something about ‘how fucking gay’ Kyle was. Stan was groaning in frustration and slight pain. “You guys are so annoying Jesus.” He pinched his nose bridge and sighed. 

“No, you two are. It’s sickening hearing you guys make out all the time,” Cartman snorted out amidst his laughter. “ I really don’t want to have to see you guys have sex now, at least get a room.” Kenny nodded in agreement before opening up, “I can’t believe I’m about to witness Stan and Kyle have sex before I turn 18. Like bro that’s crazy-”

“Oh my GOD! TAKE YOUR FUCKING PANTS OFF JESUS.” yelled out an enraged Kyle.

“At least take the poor boy to dinner for Kahl,” Eric mocked, holding onto Kenny during another laughing fit. Stan rolled his eyes for what felt like the millionth time tonight and stood up and walked behind a tree. He motioned for Kyle to follow him to check out the bite and Kyle rushed over to help. 

“Sorry for yelling man, you know I’m not mad at you right?” Kyle said as he waited for the other boy to finish lowering his pants down enough to where the bite had occurred. “Yeah, I know, now check please because I swear if I die because of a stupid bug, I might as well go to hell.” Kyle shook his head and started checking.

It wasn’t unnatural for the pair to do something like this as they have always changed in front of the other. There’s even been times in sleepovers (they won’t admit they still have sleepovers, but they do) where one, typically Kyle, is taking a shower and talks to the other, typically Stan, while he’s doing his business on the toilet. It’s always been the norm for them to be this comfortable around the other, so Kyle was unfazed by practically looking at his best friend’s ass checks. 

“Well? Anything?” Stan prompted impatiently. Kyle stood up to face his friend and shook his head, “Nah man, it doesn’t seem like anything bit you to leave a mark. Maybe it was just your head fucking with you to think you got bit?”

Stan groaned and put his pants back up while walking back to the other two, and shortly after followed the red-head. “Hey guys, gotta bounce! Marj gets to have people over today!” Kenny expressed excitedly. “See you losers later!” He waved out to the group before running off to the girl’s house. Cartman started complaining about something before he said, “I am not waiting around to see you all making out again, I am out!” With that, he left the boys alone in the woods going off to God knows where. 

Kyle and Stan ended up back at Stan’s place after they were rudely abandoned, according to Stan, by their so-called friends. “No, you don’t get it. It was a masterpiece created by God or something dude.” Stan exclaimed. They were talking about Transformers again even though Kyle had already expressed how uninterested he was. “Like it has everything you could ever want. Bumblebee, robots turning into sweet cars, Megan Fox, and I don’t know if I mentioned but Bumblebee! You cannot not be interested in a cool ass movie like this.”

Kyle rolled his eyes while getting comfortable on Stan’s bed sighing at his friends' antics. “Look, it is a cool movie I won’t lie, but I’m just not into it like you are. Not really my thing to be honest with you.” Stan dramatically gasped at Kyle before getting up and crossing his arms. 

“But- but- Bumblebee!”

“Are you gay for Bumblebee or something?”

“Who wouldn’t be?”

Kyle’s eyebrow arched as he chuckled at his friend. “Dude, that a fucking robot. What weird shit are you on?” Stan groaned playfully and dismissed the red-head with a wave of his hand. “Whatever, I’m going to the restroom, I’ll be back.” Kyle hummed in response and went back onto his phone messaging his mom that he would be staying the night at Stan’s place. 

A couple minutes passed and Stan still hadn’t come out of the restroom, concerning Kyle. He got up and walked to the bathroom where he heard Stan yelp in fear. “Shit shit. How do I get this shit off oh my godddddd.”

Kyle’s face shows concern and he raises his hand to knock on the door, “Dude? Are you okay there?” From the outside, Kyle can hear things being dropped and what sounded like marble breaking. “Stan? What’s going on in there?”

“Um… promise not to be mad?”

“What did you do…?”

“It wasn’t me I swear! I couldn’t get it off of me! It was crazy because like someone had to have put glue on it or something. Also everything feels so much more weird like I feel taller you know? What if I’m dead and you-”

Kyle groaned and opened the restroom door to see Stan frozen still trying to pick up a broken toilet seat and a mess all over the restroom floor. Stan looked like he had been sweating from the activities going on in the restroom and almost as if he was going to start crying. Kyle got on the floor with Stan and started helping him clean the mess so it can go back to how it was before Stan’s parents got back home. 

“How did you even manage to get this stuck to your ass dude?” Kyle looked over to the blue eyed boy. He wasn’t too surprised by this, due to shit going on like this in this damn town all the time. However, it was weirder because as they had gotten older, odd stuff slowly stopped happening to them. “I don’t know if I’m honest, and now that I’m looking at it there doesn’t seem to be any glue on the seat. Ugh this is the worst.”

As Stan reached over to throw the piece of marble in the trash, he found that he couldn’t seem to let go of the piece. He shook his hand in an attempt to shake it away but found it did nothing to help him. The boy started getting scared and waved over to his friend who was putting things back to where they belong. “Dude! This is what I’m talking about. Look!”

Kyle turned and his eyes widened in surprise at the scene before him. He almost had to do a double take before putting whatever was left in his hands down. Kyle went over to where Stan was and got ahold of the marble trying to get it off Stan’s hands. “Let it go! What the hell.”

“I already tried too! I physically cannot let it go, what the hell is wrong with me.” Stan smashed his hand down to the floor and to no avail did it unstuck itself. Kyle watched his friend struggle with the toilet seat and decided to see if there was some kind of glue, he grabbed another small piece and threw it in the trash. This gave Kyle all the information he needed to know.

The red-head got closer to Stan and put his hands on the noirette’s shoulders. Stan looked up at Kyle in confusion stating, “Dude, what are you doing?” Kyle rolled his eyes and stared at Stan before speaking, “Don’t you see what’s going on? You said you got bit by something in the forest right? Now let’s say it was a spider…”

“Oh my god, I’m like Spiderman! Dude, that's awesome!” Stan waved his hands up in excitement and like magic the marble fell out of his hands. The two boys started jumping up in excitement as they shouted out all different kinds of things that only made sense for the two of them. 

“Dude! You’re just like Andrew Garfield!” Kyle spouted calming the other, with newly found powers, boy. Stan shook his head and put his arm around Kyle’s shoulder with a narrator-like voice he said, 

“No. I’m your friendly neighborhood Spiderman.”

[supurflufybuny]

Okay at least one person wanted to hear abt me and my friends snow bugs so here ya go.

Basically, it's set in Empires S1, and Scott is a half fae, half elf and the Crown Prince of Rivendell - in this au, since I don't like using the word king, Crown Prince is the ruler, and second prince/ just Prince is not. Xornoth is his younger half brother, who is a full elf. Xornoth is an elven purist [aka they're just a racist bitch] who believes that Scott has no place ruling.

Tango is a prolific and successful thief, who was anonymously hired to steal from the castle. He accidentally stuck into the window to Scott's room, where Scott he found him. Gay shit ensues, Tango flirts to get out of it and Scott is left flustered.

So, Xornoth has a plot to steal the throne from Scott, using a magical item that Scott keeps under lock and key except for the Winter festival and ceremony of Aeor, when Scott must prove he's still worthy for the crown. They are using Tango to both stress Scott out as a distraction and to potentially steal the artefact. So Tango is employed by Xornoth to steal from the castle - by this point Tango knows its Xornoth - every so often. Tango usually gets out of it through flirting with Scott and his blaze abilities.

But over time, Scott develops a soft spot for Tango, starting to like him. Tango is also starting to get more reluctant to hurt Scott by stressing him out and the two start to get close. Xornoth notices this...

And they have an evil plan. Anyway that's all I'm sayong for now, let me know if you want the actual writing me and my friend are doing cause this is an rp.

[Ppl who wanted to be tagged @crowsongcaws ]

[nerves-nebula]

Hi there! I love your AU! Does Splinter know about April and Casey? What does he thinks about them and the fact boys friends with them?

HI HI HIII thank you!!! SO I’ve got the general timeline down, alright? So lets get into it >:) First, Leo (around 8 years old I think) befriends April and introduces her to his brothers. He’s very proud of himself for having accomplished such a feat.

(since I’m doing a timeline I might as well mention that Donnie met Big Mama & discovered the hidden city at around 9 years old, which he then shared with Mikey under a pledge of secrecy. They don’t tell the others until wayyy later)

Next, Raph met Casey (at 13 years old) and kept him a secret from his brothers for a while. After a few months of bugging him about it, Casey gets Raph to introduce him to Mikey and Donnie. Leo followed them because he noticed them all leaving and didn’t wanna be left out.

Soo basically, Splinter doesn’t know about April and Casey for a longgg time. He probably could have figured it out if he gave enough of a shit, but if that was the case then this wouldn’t be the neglected AU now would it?

I mentioned before that Splinter has a whole bitch fit when he finds out that the boys have been sneaking out to the surface for years (more out of fury that his rules hadn’t been followed than anything else) and during this outburst, Leo tries to pacify him by telling him about Casey and April too. Kind of a ripping off the bandaid moment like “hey it’s ok we know two humans and they haven’t done anything!” Splinter is even more pissed and rants about how stupid they all must be, but in the end as long as Leo’s fine, he doesn’t actually care.  

Obviously Splinter then takes Leo aside and has a little Talk with him about how disappointed he is, and how he expected so much better, and how he’s sooo scared for Leo’s safety, and all that manipulative traumatizing shit.

Anyway, Splinter rarely interacts with Casey and April after finding out about them, and when they do cross paths he’s pretty cold/neutral with them. He definitely likes April more than he likes Casey, though, and he approves of her more when he finds out that Leo befriended her first. 

[lumiidragon]

I'd love to hear your head canons about Dib or Zim - how do you envision their futures?

-lounges back on my computer chair like some terrible evil villain or something-

Ok, so I'm gonna be the SUPER oddball out, but here's basically an AU my spouse and I have for the Dib and Zim future.

Dib is Zim's dad now. As Dib grew older, he realized that he's annoyingly attached to this horrible green turtle-bug and exposing him the old fashion way just isn't gonna run anymore. However, he can't let Satan's hamster run around on his own, so he devised a plan: Adopt the terrible toddler and just keep an eye on him more personally.

Dib gets into Science and even works with his dad, but he's a paranormal investigator on the side (the "real science" is just the bill-payer with the latter for soothing the soul). Due to Dib's surprising logical planning for his future, he's got money to throw and gets himself a pretty sweet deal of a house. Now it's time to get his, hopefully potty-trained child-monster.

So he tricks Zim: "Hey Zim, look at how all the kids at school have changed and grown up while you stay small and child-looking. Oh wow, people are sure gonna start getting suspicious. You're still 4-foot-a-bitch, living with your never-aging parents, and your dog should be decrepit by now. Hey, I got an idea. Live with me under the guise that you're my son and we'll just keep this little charade going, eh?"

-logically thinking alien noise and a lot of convincing later once he realizes how quickly the world is changing around the slow-aging irken- "Sure, you horrible mortgage-paying clown, I will accept these terms so I may be closer to destroying you and using you for my own evil Earth-controlling deeds! -classic Zim laugh-

Now that they're playing this father/son thing, Dib keeps Zim on a leash pretending that he's still doing his job (that is long overdue to be completed frankly and the Tallests really couldn't be bothered to care and have changed their number countless times but the little radioactive roach still gets it somehow), and Zim gets to play 'I Am Indeed An Invader' while also getting to live a human childhood over again.

Dib's grown fond of his broccoli son and really does tend to him as his own child, but also has to make sure Zim is still being enriched like a zoo animal by still doing their "Zim and Dib battles and fights" every now and then before going out for ice cream because "oh shit Zim, you actually passed that multiplication test this time."

Dib's hair handlebar is trademark and he refuses to change it while Zim thinks his new disguise is so unique and unrecognizable. Hey, it works for both.

[joona-fandom-mars]

Happy Juno Steel’s birthday! I give you Pokémon au where Benzaiten is still alive and they do killer double battles together.

They were given a gastly (Juno’s) and cleffa (Ben’s) when they were pretty young and so they have a super close bond with them. Their cleffa and gastly evolve at a similar time and down the road Ben and Juno plan to evolve them again (Juno would trade Ben haunter so he evolves to Gengar, then they trade back. And at a similar time Ben would give Clefairy a moon stone). But if I wanted to be tragic like the canon, Ben could’ve died before they could go through with that plan. And both Juno and haunter are to upset to through with the plan for YEARS. Maybe Juno keeps the moon stone on a necklace or something. Maybe Juno takes in Ben’s Pokémon after he dies? Maybe part of Juno’s healing that happens after season two is finally evolving haunter and clefairy. Anyways, for now I’ll just keep thinking about how they’d kill it at double battles

Also added the Pokémon teams of the rest of the Carte Blanche crew + Ben because I love them!! Gonna explain the teams because I’m insane

Juno:

Haunter - starter and is like the other side of the same coin with Ben’s clefairy (especially when they evolve into Gengar and Clefable)

Muk - Martian sewers

Trubbish - was trying so hard to find a weird bunny Pokémon to be Small Fry and if you squint hard enough that’s basically trubbish

Banette - Puppet Pokémon for when he was being puppeted by Ramses O’Flaherty

Ben:

Clefairy - starter, same coin blah blah

Steenee, Aromatisse, and Oricorio - Dance Pokémon for the ballet dancer! (Bonus points for Oricorio in its Sensu style because Benzaiten is a Japanese goddess and Sensu dance is from Japan)

Rita:

Rotom - Her ace because she uses it to hack into electronics

Morpeko - electric Pokémon that needs stacks to stay happy? Come on that’s SO Rita

Dedenne and Swirlix - Cuties she shares snacks with

Bewear and Electivire - she calls them the muscle but electivire accidentally knocked out some bug Pokémon from stepping on it and cried for a week and Bewear is to lazy to help with anything

Peter:

Absol - Angel of Brahma. Do I need to say more

Unfezant, Thievul, and Liepard - these bitches be wearing masks and will steal your goods while your not looking

Zoroark - Can transform into literally anything

Buddy:

Delphox - Buddy’s ace because DUH fire fox that’s so her!

Ninetales, Arcanine, Quilava, and Talonflame - Buddy is obvi a fire type trainer

Altaria - Fire type trainer with the exception of shiny Altaria because they are to elegant not to give Buddy and they’re shiny because it fits her color palette better. And Buddy is just enough extra to have a shiny

Optional, Beautifly - Buddy could replace one of her fire types with Beautifly and then Vespa could have Dustox so then it’s like butterfly and moth wives and also sun and moon wives (their last names mean sun (Aurinko) and moon (Ilkay)

Vespa:

Beedrill - Vespa means wasp and beedrill is basically a wasp

Ariados, Toxicroak, Yanmega, Barraskewda, and Bisharp - all of them a fast, pointy, and look like you can find them in a swamp, except for bisharp which is just fast and pointy

Jet:

Revavroom - the man LOVES cars. Plus revavroom can be something adjacent to the Ruby 7 (maybe Juno starts taking care of it after Carte Blanche crew splits up)

Mamoswine, Magnezone, Blastoise, and Rhyhorm - beefy guys that feel like Jet to me

YEAHEAYEAY anyways INFODUMP OVER, if you read all of this you get a medal 🏅. Congrats. May do side characters and villains at some point, but for now this is all you get :P

[an-autistic-with-personhood]

PLEASE tell me about your littlest pet shop town that you made with your sister omg i’m on the edge of my seat

Oh my god oh my god ok

So we used to play with them with a semi-normal town setup, with the animals as pretty normal modern townsfolk. Our town had a king (as you do when you're eight years old), most of the animals had families, and the many, many children left over stayed in an orphanage run by a Miss Hannigan from Annie-esque cat. I'll just list the ways it devolved from there. Relevant quotes attached.

The dog king got divorced every time we found a prettier dog wife for him (his first wife Daisy was an absolute bitch)

Jessica the orphanage caretaker hates kids and only works there because she's serving community service. We never explored what got her there.

Whenever we got new animals, we'd welcome them to town with a hazing-but-not-really-hazing ceremony (They'd very menacingly tell them they'd give them a "Nice. Warm. Welcome." But then it'd be the most wholesome cutesy song)

During our NCIS phase, we killed off a cat so we could do a murder investigation episode. She dangled from a makeshift noose in the corner for a few years before we brought her back

Some of the children from the orphanage ran away to live in the dump. They sell spiked lemonade. "The feral trash children spiked the lemonade!"

Somewhere down the line, a campsite went up with a pair of manipulative elephants hoarding the biggest campfire for themselves

The cat that ran the orphanage (Jessica) divorced her husband, and he got a redemption arc (and a bad haircut) out of it. I think one of the things that solidified his decision was when she spent the children's food money on a spa day. "Chad, I NEED this!!"

Accidental Krampus Christmas Special. "Saaanta's waaatching..."

Horror Christmas Special with children-eating snow bunnies. "🎵Frosty the Snow Bunny🎵 is gonna eat you now!"

Strained marriage between a husky and her idiot golden retriever husband (he loved her so much but he was just such a himbo that she sometimes couldn't take it)

Several character deaths after our family dogs chewed on the toys

I came home once to find my sister and cousin had been basically playing Survivor. Yet another cat was hanging from the bannister by a noose

Himbo golden retriever saw a lady bug (Carlos) for the first time and dubbed him the "chosen one", essentially starting a cult. Carlos was just the adopted son of the local cat polycule, but ce la vie

We have an au fanfiction somewhere of the himbo entering the town for the first time. au town was named Larpeville, pronounced "larpay villay". He met a vegan lion named Leoche (the "che" was silent) and nearly crashed a scooter into the town's new leaders. "*Sister making 'putputput' motor noises* *screaming*"

Triplet horse sisters (Sandy, Brownie, and Snowy) fell in love with a zebra, but all took different strategies to win his heart. Sandy took a pretty normal "get to know you" route. Snowy was the blondest of blondes and just blurted whatever. Brownie went full stalker. "My name is Snowy, but my friends call me Tanya"

The zebra befriended the orphans and talked to them on his morning runs. Pretty normal, but I had to mention my sister's genius improv when she blurted out Carlos's line, "I don't live here!!!"

The last time we played was exactly a year ago. My sister was 25, I was 24, and our cousin was 21. We made a playboy kink mansion. The himbo and his wife were trying out a sex therapist and she suggested they explore said playboy mansion.

Co-signed by my sister and my cousin - they just read the post and added some ridiculousness I'd forgotten

[stampy-offical]

Hells little darling au pt 1 random fact.

The first overlord alyx met that was alastor and his friends was Vellette

It ended with a conversation that none of the older generation understood

Stampy had only been truly mad once. His true demon form was rather big and changed with cracks and creaking steam noise. He left a trail of Boiling wax acidic ink and various chemicals across a street. It ended with blood.

Rosie was the reason stampy became a cannibal. He ate her meat pie found out what it was and considered cannibalism if a good enough friend cooks it. He got more comfortable with it when he got friendly with the gang.

Stampys factories make glass and paper products. The one in his office makes trinkets along with metal machine components. His warehouses store anything for a price. The fight rings however are invite only. There's 3 rules.

No outside weapons. Everyone involved will be sent to the ring with you to fight the one the fighters call 'Bull' Bull is the top fighter.

No attacking the staff. They will shoot. They have angel guns.

No informing the Vees or Zesteail about the locations. Zesteail keeps trying to make an acid pit or getting lava around the stage. The vees always make it a production and if he has to deal with ONE MORE VOXTECH ATTEMPT AT BUYING HIM OUT HE WILL PERSONALLY FEED YOU TO ALASTOR

Vox and Carmella had both tried to buy his company. Differences are Carmella settled for a partnership. Vox tried to cheat him and can't take a no.

Stampy has a friendship with the Carmines due to his businesses. Before you ask. No Zesteail dosent see him as an ally. He's just a supplier who gives him good products. (He always orders ceramic or glass goods. Stampy knows its not for his home.)

Stampy is the only one who saw Bull fight and survive. Everyone else died or never knew he existed.

Stampy has picked up wood carving and stone mansion. He's doing a rather good job of multiple products.

Like every overlord he had been summoned at least once to the living world. Unlike the others it was his full body. He never told anyone. The most the overlords think humans can summon are alastors shadow. Stampy meanwhile is filing paperwork about how to show that not all the overlords like blood or hearts as sacrifice.

Stampy's hometown was wiped off the map by a fire and a epidemic. He was blamed for both due to a coincidence of him being a violent youth and people disliking him. (The fire was a chain reaction of a lightning bolt hitting the town church. The epidemics was a nearby river full of bugs.)

Charlie used him as a success story as she accidentally found out through Husk (he's at the hotel cause Angel told him it'd be good for business. Stampys here for Alyx and the younger sinners [I'm an old violent son of a bitch. You kids are here cause of some flying dick who thinks giving kids cancer and food shortage is a good way to have people like him then got his son nailed to a board like a c*** father. Basically. I deserve to be here.]) Because he was an orphaned pickpocket with no last name and only called stampy cause he had a habit to rob post offices.

[stiffyck]

I need to know all the bug aus u have. u absolutely just colecet them like Pokémon cards

Bugs bugs bugs okay so tbf its mostly just ideas and not really fully fleshed out aus BUT STILL

Bug buttercups!!! Grian is a pink grasshopper (if youve never seen one its literally just grasshoppers but PINK AND THEYRE SO COOL OKAY) mumbo as a spider, havent decided what spider yet but a spider and scar as a devils flower mantis (literally the coolest bug ever dont even try me nothing is cooler than those bitches)

Scar gets 2 arms, 4 legs

Grian gets 4 arms and 2 legs

Mumbo gets 2 legs, 6 arms (for all the redstone okay. He can hold so much stuff)

Thats the main idea. The buttercups as bug hybrids.

Another idea is the same thing but make them shapeshifters in a way. They can change from full human to hybrid looking to full bug. Silly bugs okay

-

Cursed buttercups! Au where they get cursed to look like some sort of monsters that look like different bugs!

-

Au where the buttercups are (bug) cryptids living near a village where the rest of the hermits live. Som3 of the hermits are obsessed with these cryptids and try to track them down and prove theyre real while the others just dont care or think theyre just stupid for believing something like that could exist.

-

Bug aliens!!! Scar as an alien race thats just basically weird big bugs. Hes fascinated by earth bugs because theyre just like him but tiny

-

Theres more thoughts but im tired sncjdjgs i might ramble more tomorrow if i have the chance so we'll see

Pictures of the mentioned bugs and spiders below so beware!

Heres a spider i thought mumbo could be!

A pink grasshopper for grian!!

And finally! The coolest mf on this earth!!!!

The devils flower mantis!

[nonuggetshere]

how would said soul master beating start tho. like what would the catalyst be - 👹

OH SWEET, I GET TO TALK ABOUT FRAGILE AS A FLOWER AU AGAIN, LET'S GO

This is just like. A VERY rough outline. Don't feel like writing a novel up in here LMAO

So long story short, the whole Soul Sanctum kidnapping bugs from low-income part of the city keeps happening and Lurien is trying to build a case so they can go inspect their sanctum. Soul Master of course used the fact that PV/Flower is not hollow as an excuse to continue his little project to fight infection and "I can't let you inspect my sanctum because it could jeopardise the entire project meh meh meh". It's after the problem with Radiance is taken care of so he doesn't exactly have a leg to stand on and they're slowly closing in on his ass.

He invites Lurien over for a nice chat over a cup of tea (also called: blackmail) and it devolves into arguments and threats.

Meanwhile, Flower is a giant idiot with a strong moral code and zero self-preservation skills, and they're somehow dating an even bigger idiot with an even stronger moral code and poor decision-making skills. Basically Petunia strongarms them into sneaking into that bitch with them.

They find the people that are still alive, break them out and then Flower realises Lurien is there and in trouble and goes to save his ass.

They have a standoff, Soul Master is sooo sure of himself because he's got Lurien within his grasp and threatening to kill him if they make one wrong move, and he mocks them.

"Well, would you look at that, the king's discarded hatchling is trying to play the hero? Though that's not very accurate, is it? Perhaps a discarded project would fit you better."

Aaaand then he gets jumped