#barnabas beckenbauer

[forgottenbones]

Barnabas Beckenbauer

Wait... what?

Feel any burning? See a local healer or wise woman.

(x)

[straysinfiltrator]

So @fandomwarehouse just made this post about Vernon Roche squinting and now I'm in the middle of an existential crisis because my knee reaction to Roche needing glasses is "of course he would throw them into the fire and swear he doesn't need them". But. But. This is a man that, quoting, "whore himself" to Nilfgaard. So the idea of him not using a tool that could objectively help him (any sort of visual impediment could be fatal in his line of work) doesn't make sense then. And now I'm wondering how expensive glasses are in the witcher universe and if Roche could afford them (that is after Foltest's death because he loses everything at that point). Anyway. I'm going to think more of Roche and glasses ☹

That is an interesting question! I wanted to look up before replying if the unofficial disability supplement to the Witcher tabletop RPG has anything to say on this. It says: “spectacles can only be commissioned as they are uniquely tailored to you and require the incredibly skilled hands of gnomish craftsmen and their highly coveted secrets of sanding and shaping glass and gemstone lenses that help improve eyesight.”

This isn’t official canon but it’s something that feels in keeping with canon to me. Glasses would probably be highly valuable and not available everywhere so the biggest question is whether Roche could obtain them once he’s no longer Foltest’s man, like in TW3 when he’s a guerilla fighter hiding in a cave. 

It’s also likely they would be suitable for reading but not for combat, but fortunately Roche is a close combat fighter, not someone who has to aim at a distance. They might look something like what this merchant from Touissant wears, or Thaler’s monocle thing. Geralt has those funky glasses one can get in TW3 but to me those felt more like a joke item than something meant to be lore accurate. 

Then again anything can be made possible through the power of fic. Maybe Barnabas (the gnome from Thronebreaker) opened a glasses factory in the Rivian city of Broadhead where Queen Meve leaves him in charge of reforming the factories after the 2nd Nilfgaardian war (in one TB path). Soon, cheap reading glasses are mass produced and available via traveling merchants all over the Continent, vastly improving accessibility of print material for the population. It’s amazing what a difference can be made by a single act of an enlightened queen :)

I’d say whether Roche wears them depends on the kind of prejudice he thinks he’s likely to face. This might seem wild now when so many wear glasses or contacts, but for those of my parents’ generation the stigma against glasses was so strong that some people would be socially afraid to wear glasses even in their old age. We know Roche is still affected by childhood bullying in his adult years, with the way he’s still touchy about his mother’s background, and he also needs to project strength in front of his soldiers.

But maybe when he’s alone, and having to go through some secretly obtained maps or correspondence, he takes out the small embroidered case, with the pattern all worn and faded by now, and opens it with care to retrieve the expensive lenses that had been a precious secret gift from his late king…

[queerturnofphrase]

Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales | Comrades pt 2  

[zarilia]

My team from the first playthrough. Replaying only made me sure this was the best choice.

Beware of the spoilers below!

You wouldn’t want to skip side missions afraid of the outcome, would you? Nor kill a wounded she-dragon. Nor slaughter sick elves or chained dwarves. Nor imprison your son for life, despite bertrayal.

[dukeofdogs]

Some good boys | PSD Download

[shamanchic]

Meve’s companions

How beginner Thronebreaker player sees them:

How Thronebreaker player, who ended game, sees them:

IN THESE HEAVY TIMES MEVE CAN TRUST ONLY KNICKERS

[irene-sadler]

war story (12)

ignore that i forgot to post 10+11 i had other things on my mind apparently who knows what tho

anyway here’s the moment we’ve all apparently been waiting for i hope it is exactly as crushing as i planned and alienates all 7-12 of the people who regularly read this shit.

War Story

by irenesadler

Chapters: 12/?

Fandom: Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Meve/Reynard Odo

Characters: Reynard Odo, Meve (The Witcher), Gascon Brossard, Original Characters, Caldwell (The Witcher), Rayla (The Witcher), Gwalter aep Llwynog | Xavier Lemmens, Eldain (The Witcher), Isbel aep Muir Moss, Gabor Zigrin, Eudora Breckenriggs, Barnabas Beckenbauer, Keltullis

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Action, Romance, Politics, Humor, military stuff, Enemies to Lovers, adventures in personnel management, Slow Build

Summary:

the year before the Nilfgaardians invade Rivia, someone dies and makes Reynard Odo king.

[do-androids-dream-ao3acc]

Barnabas Beckenbauer. Like ... this one?

[queenmevesknickers]

Debts of Honour

Reynard suppressed a sigh of exasperation as Barnabas approached and greeted him with a flourishing salute, followed by his standing as stiff as a board, lips twitching with barely contained mirth.

“At ease, Master Beckenbauer.” This caused the gnome to dissolve instantly into a fit of giggles. Reynard deeply regretted instructing him in military etiquette in the first place, but it was too late to do anything about it now. “To what do I owe th’ pleasure?”

“Greetings, Count Reynard,” he replied, eyes sparkling with amusement. “I thought I might take you up on those ‘marching lessons’ you mentioned earlier.”

It took some effort on Reynard’s part not to groan – that remark had been borne of his frustration in watching the feather-brained Barnabas trot maddeningly around the column, often wandering off the path to dive into a clump of bushes, or setting off small explosions and startling the caravan horses. But he noticed that the gnome’s eyes were darting about rather nervously – and the reason for this quickly became apparent.

“Hello, Reynard. Ah, Barnabas! Fancy finding you here,” said Gascon, taking a seat at Reynard’s table. His manner was as cheerful as ever, but Reynard detected a glint in his eye, and a slight edge to his voice.

“I was just leaving, actually,” said Barnabas, with a gulp. “I’m sure the two of you have serious business to speak of...”

“Oh, nothing that can’t wait a moment or two,” replied Gascon easily. “Whilst you and I discuss that little matter of th’ crowns you owe me.”

“Well, seeing as you’ve brought it up…I thought perhaps a rematch instead – if both parties swear to play with integrity, this time…” countered the gnome with an injured air, and a very pointed look at Gascon.

“I hope that neither of you has been gambling,” interjected Reynard sternly, before the affronted-looking Gascon could reply. “For I’m sure there’s no need to remind you that it bears th’ punishment of no ale ration for two weeks.”

“Ah, well, what’re a few crowns between friends?” said Barnabas nervously, quickly depositing a small sack of coin on the table with a surprisingly heavy thunk. “Oh, goodness, is that the time? Apologies, gentlemen, must be off…I have a new prototype to show Her Majesty…”

“Did you cheat?” said Reynard in an undertone, as the gnome made a hasty departure.

“Maybe once or twice – but only because he played that ridiculous ‘Very Large Explosion’ card he has – which I’m quite certain he invented himself, for I’ve never heard of it afore,” grumbled Gascon.

Reynard frowned. “What d’you need money for so badly, that you must go terrorising Barnabas for it?”

“Why, for my retirement fund, of course. This may surprise you, dear Reynard, but banditry – whilst a profitable enterprise – doesn’t encourage th’ most economical of lifestyles. And somehow, I doubt I’ll be sticking around long enough to collect my soldier’s pension off you.”

It was said in Gascon’s usual joking manner, but Reynard found the thought of him leaving their company so discomforting that for a moment, he could make no reply. Eventually, he picked up the pouch of coin and tucked it into his own pocket.

“I think that should be enough to cover th’ money you owe me,” he said, ignoring Gascon’s protests. “And if you’re that desperate for retirement funds, well…you’re welcome to try and win it back.”

[queenmevesknickers]

Vignettes/Mini-fics

Shorter works posted exclusively to Tumblr

Birthday Boy

It’s Reynard’s birthday - Meve feels the occasion warrants something.

Prodigal

The queen’s other son has done a disappearing act - Meve is not pleased, to say the least.

Stealth Mode

Reynard stumbles across a familiar face in the Angren swamps.

Snowball Fight

Exactly what is says on the tin.

Debts of Honour

“Never play Gascon at cards. He’s a hustler, that one, and he tells tall tales...umm...about debts, specifically, ones that I supposedly owe him!”

Touché

Meve and Reynard talking about swords and definitely not anything else.

Now translated into Russian by @tomatoplaysthewitcher here.

A Friend in Need

There are some things that just bring two people closer together - being exiled in monster-infested swamps is one of them.

Now translated into Russian by @tomatoplaysthewitcher​ here.

Crave You

Despite her utter lack of interest, Meve’s never been short of suitors - but the one man she might actually want to dance with never has the time.

Now translated into Russian by @tomatoplaysthewitcher​ here.

Contact High

Sometimes fate just throws your queen into your arms. It’s a nice feeling.

Now translated into Russian by @tomatoplaysthewitcher​ here.

Words Unsaid

Meve finds it difficult to talk about her feelings - so she finds a way to show them, instead.

In Vino Veritas

A corporal in his cups stumbles across an insightful truth about his queen and his general.

Beautiful

Meve observes Reynard in a sparring match

The Illustrated Bandit

Meve has just learnt one surprising truth about Gascon; Reynard inadvertently reveals another.

[irene-sadler]

war story (9)

will not try and act like this chapter is not on some weird shit via largely being a distilled product of the soup of pulp sci fi-horror novels and b rated 50s film noir that swashes back and forth in the back of my thoughts at all times. 

alert: there is also sex in this chapter (yes finally i know)

War Story by irenesadler

Chapters: 9/?

Fandom: Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Meve/Reynard Odo

Characters: Reynard Odo, Meve (The Witcher), Gascon Brossard, Original Characters, Caldwell (The Witcher), Rayla (The Witcher), Gwalter aep Llwynog | Xavier Lemmens, Eldain (The Witcher), Isbel aep Muir Moss, Gabor Zigrin, Eudora Breckenriggs, Barnabas Beckenbauer

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Action, Romance, Politics, Humor, military stuff, Enemies to Lovers, adventures in personnel management, Slow Build

Summary:

the year before the Nilfgaardians invade Rivia, someone dies and makes Reynard Odo king.

[irene-sadler]

war story (8)

this chapter is cut in half from one that was gonna end up being like roughly 9-10k ur welcome for not making u scroll thru all that at once i guess (also the 2nd part is not done yet anyway and i wanted to put something out finally but its called CROATOAN so look forward to that one)

(the one after that is called THE WORM IN THE WELL i actually have like the next 3-5 worked out and some scenes randomly written bc that is how i live my life)

War Story

by irenesadler

Chapters: 8/?

Fandom: Thronebreaker: The Witcher Tales (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Meve/Reynard Odo

Characters: Reynard Odo, Meve (The Witcher), Gascon Brossard, Original Characters, Caldwell (The Witcher), Rayla (The Witcher), Gwalter aep Llwynog | Xavier Lemmens, Eldain (The Witcher), Isbel aep Muir Moss, Gabor Zigrin, Eudora Breckenriggs, Barnabas Beckenbauer

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Action, Romance, Politics, Humor, military stuff, Enemies to Lovers, adventures in personnel management, Slow Build

Summary:

the year before the Nilfgaardians invade Rivia, someone dies and makes Reynard Odo king.

[dukeofdogs]

I need your help guys because I don’t know if it’s an unused letter or not. I never got this specific note from Barnabas in the epilogue without editing the save files (yes, every time I make sure he says at the manufactory). Has anyone of you encounter this particular letter? Or is is truly an unused stuff.

Trascript below

Your Gracious Highness!

With unabashed pride I announce that Broadhead Manufactory is fully up and operational! My newest invention - waterproof breeches!

This fantastic outerlayer can prove useful in two types of circumstance.

1. During operations in sodden lands, such as the bogs of Angren.

2. When something appears that frightens a soldier beyond the ability of his body to restrain itself

I would ask Your Majesty to supply me with your royal measurements (the circumference of your Majesty’s hips) - and I shall send you a prototype.

With my sincerest of greetings,

Barnabas Beckenbauer

Inventor-in-Chief of the Kingdoms of Lyria and Rivia

[dukeofdogs]

In this house we love and protect Barnabas Beckenbauer

[inside-darks-blog]

lmao

Meve’s companions

How beginner Thronebreaker player sees them:

How Thronebreaker player, who ended game, sees them:

IN THESE HEAVY TIMES MEVE CAN TRUST ONLY KNICKERS