#barisi head canon

[whoevrwhatevr]

SVU Barisi head canons; part four

part 1; 2; 3

[leonardcohenofficial]

20 questions for fic writers

i was tagged by @majorbaby to answer these—thank you so much!!!!!!!

i'll tag @draftdodgerag / @radioprune/ @sightofsea and anyone else who'd like to do this! answers below:

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? a grand total of five :D

2. What's your total Ao3 word count? 28,313 words!

3. What fandoms do you write for? currently have only published for mash, but i have fics for the man from uncle, star trek, star wars, doctor who, twin peaks, starsky and hutch, and black sails in drafts

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? i only have five fics on ao3 LOL

5. Do you respond to comments? i do my best to!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? i suppose it's (open your hands) given it takes place before "bottoms up" which is fairly angsty in the overall houlifield arc

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? between the two longform fics i've posted—someone is waiting and so this is the word—they both have happy endings! i suppose whatever is happier depends on if you're more of a fan of piercintyre or hunnihawk endgame

8. Do you get hate on fics? i've never received any direct hate, so none that i'm aware of.................... 

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yes; not usually plain pwp because i like having somewhat of a story tied to the smut but every once in a while it's less plot-driven

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? i have not written any crossovers nor do i particularly feel any want to

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? nope/not to my knowledge, hope to keep it that way!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? no but would be honored and open to granting permission to do so!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? no, don't really have interest in doing so (LOL)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? legitimately such a hard question lol; there are some ships that i don't even think about actively shipping because in my mind i nearly forget that they're not canon (see: spirk, skysolo, albert/dale, illya and napoleon, etc.) whereas there are certain relationship dynamics that continue to make me feel like the top of my head is being torn off and i think always will (twelveclara is absolutely insanity inducing, vanerackham also being a ship that really took over my brain and has not let go since, honorable mention to whatever barisi did to my psyche as a seventeen year old); not to mention all the relationships from non-fandom (for lack of a better term) media that i find extraordinarily emotionally impactful (tommy and axel in edge of the city, omar and johnny in my beautiful laundrette, whatever is happening between hamlet ophelia and horatio, same with karen joe and martha in these three, could name plenty of books and films and plays that this happens to me with)

all of this to say, it probably is piercintyre (still with a lot of love for hunnihawk) or spirk

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? i have a few mash fic drafts that have been sitting in my notes app since literally 2019 so we will see if those ever see the light of day lmfao

16. What are your writing strengths? i think i'm very good at third person limited POV, which is how i write all of my fics (i don't like first person POV fics, despise omniscient, and find second person hardest to write); i also think that i'm pretty strong with narrative structure (comes with being a dramaturg lol) and internal dramaturgy and detail when it comes to researching for my writing

17. What are your writing weaknesses? i don't write linearly (this applies to my academic writing as well as fics) which i think does often make it harder on myself when piecing together a bunch of vignettes and trying to make them flow; i think that my understanding of narrative structure helps me get around this but i do wish i didn't always throw in an obstacle to my own writing. i also think i can be a bit too succinct (this is more a challenge with my academic writing than my fics imho but is a note that i get consistently from my committee haha)

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? if the writer actually knows how to speak it and isn't just throwing text into google translate on a wing and a prayer, i don't always HATE it hate it; i've read a few good the man from uncle fics where if illya is speaking in ukranian or russian it's either mentioned in a character's POV or the text is put in italics which i think is a more effective device in communicating that the characters are speaking another language rather than the one the fic is written in

19. First fandom you wrote for? i wrote very bad doctor who and sherlock fanfiction when i was in middle school which i published on deviantart LMFAOOOOOOO

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? i think the honor has to go to someone is waiting—it was just such a labor of love and weaving in all of the sondheim references that have been so important to me with a longform exploration of hawkeye's takes on love was (as cheesy as it is to say) really special to me as a writer and it means so much that it resonated with so many people! (plus it has a very good soundtrack)

[bishopsbelova]

I’m not sure i this is new or not and I just never knew; but apparently you can block users on A03

And I blocked my first account today because it was a fucking barisi who had the audacity to write a fic and tag it as Rollisi even though it clearly wasn��t 

Mind you it was so far out of fucking character too 

Like having your fanon ships are one thing but it’s a complete other thing to try so damn hard to warp canon to fit your story you’ve made up in your head. And it’s also not hard to not tag the ship you clearly hate in said fic

[whisperingvictory]

Headcanon

Everyone assumes that Rafael is the organized one. But really he's a bit of a hot mess, his brain moves faster than he can keep up and the combination of caffeine overdose and perpetual sleep deprivation means that he relies on Carmen to make sure he remembers appointments and meetings. His desk is ALWAYS a mess of files, and he's constantly calling her in asking for this or that and she reminds him that he already has it and pulls the files out of a stack on his desk. He's the same way at home when he manages to get there. He's clean, and tidy when it comes to clothes and dishes and such, but his kitchen table, and coffee table, nightstand and desk, pretty much any flat surface is covered with open books and files and papers with notes jotted down on them. It drives Sonny crazy. He had his mother's neuroses instilled in him at a young age, so he cleans up everything in his apartment before he lets himself go to sleep. He's meticulous and organized, he had to learn to be to handle the stress of a full time job and night school at the same time, especially when both essentially demanded overtime. Lucia Barba catches onto this very quickly after her son finally introduces her to Sonny. They go out to brunch on a Sunday because they're all busy people and getting together during the week is next to impossible. But she's observant, and it isn't lost on her when Sonny leans over to Rafael and reminds him about a work thing he has to do, and to make sure to return a call for an appointment. So now, to Sonny's dismay, he gets to be the liaison. Lucia stops bothering trying to call her son to make plans because he never knows when he's free and forgets to write down their plans anyway. She calls Sonny instead. He knows Rafael's schedule better than him, and he's terribly pushy about making sure that Rafael actually takes the time to see his mother, because "life's short Raf, you never know what could happen" which is needly manipulation but it still works. And when they finally end up moving in together, Sonny realizes he's waging a war he can't win. He tries to tidy up after Rafael, tries to close files, put them back in the cabinet, puts books on shelves, but then the moment Rafael's back its like a tornado swept through the Library of Congress, paper everywhere. It's pointless, but Sonny realizes it's also just a demonstration of how Rafael's brain works, like a hive of bees swarming constantly, each one more intelligent than he could ever hope to be. And he loves that brain, loves the man, and learns to embrace the chaos.

[feelin-woozy]

Title: Be My Mistake

Word Count: 5.1k

Pairing: Barisi / Rafael Barba x Sonny Carisi

Warnings: Canon divergent takes place after s18e7, Sonny dealing with the trauma of almost getting his brains blown out, pre-existing relationships of an undetermined nature. Full tag list can be found on ao3 HERE

It was a mistake when Sonny turned down Amanda’s offer for her to stay the night after she drove him home. He knew this when his apartment door closed with a soft thud, and the deafening silence poured over him like molasses. The woman had insisted, telling him that it was okay for him to be shaken and that she would be worried if he wasn’t . She said she was here for him, as a partner but more importantly as a friend. It was a mistake not going after her, for not allowing a moment of vulnerability, for not admitting that he wasn’t okay. So here Sonny sits. Alone on his couch, elbows digging into the hard caps of his knees as he stares listlessly at his folded hands.

The events of earlier play over in his mind, again and again, and again. He was analyzing each detail of what he did wrong and what he could have done differently to have avoided such a harrowing predicament or how they could have prevented this entirely. If only they had been faster. Olivia’s words ’be careful’ rattled around his skull like a skipping CD, an auditory backdrop to the fatalistic expression on Sergeant Cole’s face that was seared into his head. Every time his eyes closed, that was all he saw; those brown eyes staring at him with what maybe was remorse or perhaps indignation, Sonny wasn’t sure, and the gaping fucking hole in his skull. Crimson poured from the exit wound, dripping down the hard lines of his face, catching in the gray of his beard. 

Sonny could still feel the blood on his face, the bits of brain matter and taste the coppery fluid on his tongue. It had been several hours since the event had transpired; he had washed the blood off his face shortly after the fact once the FBI, HNT and EMS had shown up, but that only washed away the physical evidence. Even after showering and changing into clean clothing, his civvies, he was confident that if he lifted his hand and touched his face, it would come back red and sticky. 

He had been confident that he was going to die at that moment, that Cole was the last face he would see before his brains painted the space behind him. It wasn’t even Sonny’s first time being held at gunpoint; logically, he knows he could have died in any of the previous scenarios. He had been rattled with adrenaline and shock each time it happened, but none of those times was anything compared to this. None of those times had his mind raced the way it has today. Thinking of his sisters and his parents, how he wished he hadn’t done that overtime the last time there was a dinner. His team, the highs and the lows of everything they had been through together. The Lord’s prayer, and how he wasn’t even sure if he would reach the words ’amen.’ Any and all negotiation tactics that he knew would be fruitless with a man like Cole. All of this within perhaps forty seconds, though it felt like an eternity. Everything was almost taken from him in a blink of an eye.

Standing here was a mistake. A far worse transgression than allowing Amanda to leave, not going after her or calling her or any other member of his team. Sonny had considered going to church, which, while not the best option, was better than this. He could leave, turn on his heel and pretend that this never happened. Chalking it up to the lingering impacts of shock, of having his brains nearly blown out in favour of another man’s brain matter splattered against his own face. Yet his hand raises, trembling despite his efforts to knock his knuckles against the dark wood door. Sonny is sure he looks pathetic standing here, any traces of his usual blithe disposition lost to the wind and replaced with something more morose. He counts, promising to turn around and leave when he gets to the number ten. He would find his way to a church, a bar, maybe. But then he hears the unmistakable sound of the lock turning, and warm light washes over him as the door swings open. 

There Rafael stands. He’s dressed down in nothing more than a worn striped crew neck and lounge pants. For whatever reason, Sonny finds comfort in this. Something about coming here to see Rafael dressed to the nines in one of his expensive suits made knots form in his stomach.

“Detective.” Rafael looks at him, flummoxed for a brief moment before neutrality settles over his features again. The man’s eyes betray him; he can see the concern that swims within pale green eyes as his brows pinch together slightly. “What are you doing here? Are you alright?”

Sonny stares at him for a moment; lips pressed thin. Not a word is exchanged, Rafael‘s gaze softening with each passing second of silence that stretched between the two of them. Finally, the taller man closes his eyes and exhales a shuddering breath before he stares at Rafael again. “Can I come in?”

Rafael doesn’t move at first, stares at the man as if analyzing, assessing before he commits to whichever answer sits perched on the back of his tongue. And then he moves, opening the door further in silent invitation. Sonny moves quickly, taking a few steps past the threshold till he stands in the middle of the narrow foyer of the lawyer’s apartment. 

“You heard?”

“Of course, I heard,” Rafael says lamely, closing the door and flicking the lock. Another bout of silence begins to bloom within them, only to be squashed when Rafael continues to speak, “Did you want to talk about it? Or maybe a drink?”

“Yeah, uh, yeah, a drink would be great.” Sonny nods, toeing off his shoes, knowing the older man would pitch a fit if he didn’t. “Please.”

Rafael hums in acknowledgement, slipping past Sonny’s tall frame and further into the depths of his apartment towards the kitchen. He doesn’t bother waiting for Sonny, knows the other will trail behind him like a shadow or come in his own time. The man knew the apartment layout and had been here enough times in different circumstances. Far more favourable circumstances than this, although even those left a bitter taste in the detective’s mouth. Not that he minded all that much right now, the bitter taste was better than the taste of blood. And sure enough, Sonny trails after Rafael, the floorboards creaking with every other step as they make their way to the spacious kitchen.

A bottle of scotch sits upon the granite countertop, along with a half-empty glass with a large ice cube slowly melting and a book left open and face down. It’s a humanistic depiction of Rafael seen in fleeting moments where he is more than just a cut-throat lawyer. Sonny had been privy to this previously and had become more or less intimately acquainted with that side of Rafael. But, even if that curtain had been drawn once more, he knew what laid behind out of sight.

Rafael gestures to one of the bar stools at the counter as he moves smoothly around the brightly lit kitchen. As Sonny takes a seat, he watches as Rafael moves to get a glass. The sound of a large ice cube making contact with the glass rings through the air before pouring a generous glass of scotch, the amber liquid sloshing as it’s poured. He doesn’t take a sip until Rafael has topped off his own glass and sat next to the man.

The liquid provides an almost instantaneous relief, burning his throat and washing his tongue of blood and bitterness, leaving only warmth and the smoky after notes. Neither of them speaks, though the silence is easy and devoid of tension as they drink. Yet still, his mind drifts into places it shouldn’t, and contrition follows, weaving its dark tendrils through his mind and marring every slogging thought that entered his head. Perhaps it was a mistake coming here. What right did he have to impose on Rafael like this? It would’ve been different if they were still seeing each other or whatever it was that the two were doing, but that ship had sailed months ago. It would’ve made sense for him to be anywhere but here, yet here was the only place he wanted to be.

“I can hear your thoughts from here,” Rafael speaks softly, and Sonny grits his teeth, resenting the tone. He wasn’t a docile animal or a victim on the stand. He flinches when Rafael's hand rests on his bare forearm, but neither tries to draw back. Warmth radiates from the man’s soft palm, the weight pulling him back down and tethering him closer into this galling reality and out of his mind’s vicious cyclone. 

“I thought I was going to die, Raf,” Sonny mutters, staring at Rafael's hand. He speaks louder this time, “Honest to God, I didn’t think I was going to walk out of there.”

“But you did, and you’re here,” Rafael says, his thumb sweeping over flesh, making blonde hairs bristle and gooseflesh dot pale skin. “You’re in shock. You know better than anyone that’s normal.”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

Sonny lifts his eyes to meet Rafael's gaze, and without really thinking, he leans forward, pressing his lips against the man’s in a chaste kiss. It lasts for only a few moments before Sonny recoils, browning, knitting together, and eyes squeezing shut. 

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have done that.” He laughs bitterly and takes a sip from his drink to wash down the repugnance, “Coming here was a mistake. I’ll let myself out.” He goes to push the barstool back, but the hand on his forearm tightens its grip, fingers digging into flesh.

“Cariño.” Sonny shoots him a pointed look, the corner of his lip curling downwards, and Rafael frowns, “Sonny.”

“Just pretend this didn’t happen,” Sonny continues, eyes darting to a random space in the kitchen. He pours his attention to the espresso machine perched on the counter, eyes roving over the dials and buttons to distract himself. “I’m in shock, right?”

“Sonny,” Rafael pushes, this time with a sharper tone. Sonny’s eyes flicker back for a moment before wandering again. “Whatever you need, I’m here for you.”

Sonny’s teeth gnash together as he thinks, thinking if he should say what he wants. To dig this hole deeper or if he should just up and leave and deal with the repercussions at a later date. Maybe if he were lucky, Rafael would let sleeping dogs lie. It was unlikely; it was seldom that he did. It was why the ADA was where he was in his career. It was something that ordinarily Sonny admired; currently, he resented this fact of Rafael.

“I need you.” The words are barely above a whisper, but they feel earth-shattering in the silence of Rafael's apartment. They make him feel queasy like he was wrong to seek human touch in a moment like this, to seek something familiar and condoling, especially from a past partner he had no right asking. 

“You have me.”

“You know what I meant.”

“I do and you have me.” 

Sonny lifts the hand that wasn’t restrained by Rafael, bringing it up to scrub at his face before staring at the man with an intense gaze. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to. I know we ended things, and that’s fine but I don’t want this to be some pity fuck or whatever.”

“You’re putting words into my mouth,” Rafael says. “And while I can appreciate your concern, I’m not being forced into anything, Sonny. And it’s not because I pity you.” Sonny opens his mouth, ready to interrupt the man’s spiel, but Rafael narrows his eyes and continues speaking as Sonny’s mouth closes, “We may have ended things, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care about you, or don’t think of us for that matter. But we can talk about that later, now isn’t the time.”

The last comment makes Sonny’s chest lurch, stomach churning with the rapid beating of butterfly wings. This was a dangerous path to travel. With each step forward, he felt two parts dread and one part misplaced hope. The alarm bells sounded in his head, his mind screaming at him to leave though his body remained stagnant and firmly fixed to the seat. He doesn’t even draw back when Rafael leans in and kisses him, and he can’t stop the way he melts into the kiss. 

The dam breaks when Rafael's teeth gently sink into his lower lip and tug, and Sonny thinks to hell with it. What was one more mistake? His wounds were fresh, raw and gaping; he could tear open another that had been measly stitched closed and bleed from that too. It wouldn’t change this. It hardly made it worse. More complicated perhaps, but not worse. So he reaches up, resting his hand on the nape of Rafael ’s neck and holds him there as they kiss. 

“Do you want this?” Sonny mumbles against Rafael’s lips. He can feel the others twitch in the barest hint of a smile.

“I do,” Rafael breathes, his free hand resting on Sonny’s thigh, squeezing the muscle in assurance. “I’m not going to change my mind either, but if I do, I’ll tell you, and we stop. I expect the same from you?” 

“Course.”

“Then let’s take this to the bedroom.” Rafael draws back, removing his hands from Sonny’s body as Sonny does the same. They move quickly, leaving behind half-finished glasses of scotch to be forgotten and diluted, moving hand in hand down the familiar corridor to Rafael's room in an age-old choreograph.

It hasn’t changed since Sonny was last here, but he doesn’t have time to dwell on that or even turn on the lights, not when Rafael is grabbing the front of his t-shirt and dragging him down to kiss him. It’s a soft exploration, unlike previous times they had kissed when it was a flurry of tongue, teeth and unbridled passion. It’s different, but not bad. It’s what he needs.

His hands rest on Rafael’s hips, fingers curling into the soft wool of the pullover. He bites down gently on the man’s lower lip, revelling in how breath hitches and arms wind around his neck. He can’t get over how soft Rafael’s lips feel against his own or the aftertaste of scotch on the man’s tongue as they brush together. They move blindly backwards, slowly inching towards the bed in the center of the room till resistance against Rafael’s legs forces them to stop.

Sonny draws back from the kiss, eyes closed as his forehead rests against the others. He can feel the warm puffs of air against his lips, the way fingertips gently scrape through the hairs against the nape of his neck. He wants to say something, to ask again if Rafael was sure that this was okay, but he doesn’t get the chance to. Not when suddenly, Rafael is falling backwards against the plush mattress and dragging Sonny down with him. He only has seconds to move his hand to brace upon impact to avoid crushing Rafael beneath his weight.

Even once they’re on the bed, Rafael doesn’t give him a chance. As if he knew precisely where Sonny’s head was and refused to allow those words to be spoken into the air. Lips reach Sonny’s jaw, trailing along till they meet his neck. Sonny can’t help but shiver at the feeling. Even after all these months, Rafael knows his body like the back of his hand. Knows just how to make his heart skip stutter and for arousal to stir in the pit of his belly.

He follows suit, moving the hand that wasn’t supporting his weight to trail down Rafael’s torso and under the hem of his pullover. He’s so warm, a sharp contrast to Sonny’s cold spindly fingers, and Rafael can’t stop from sputtering out a gasp, body involuntarily arching away from the offending stimuli. But Sonny doesn’t stop; he smooths his hand over the warm flesh, travelling upwards till fingertips brush over the peak of Rafael’s nipple. 

“Sonny,” The name is barely above a whisper, but when the younger man rolls his nipple between thumb and forefinger, it’s said in a louder shakier octave and Sonny can’t help but smile. He draws back, only for a second to pull Rafael’s sweater up and over his head, tossed towards the edge of the bed where it lands haphazardly hanging over the footboard. He leans down, peppering kisses over the sparse hair over his chest, working his way down to press the flat of his tongue over his nipple before sinking his teeth in and nipping gently.

Each little reaction Rafael gives Sonny willingly or involuntarily makes his cock stir from within the confines of his pants. Makes the events of today drift further and further as his desires to draw more from the man grow stronger. He needs this, needs to lose himself in Rafael. So he continues downwards, lips ghosting over the length of Rafael’s torso and planting wet kisses along the way till he reaches the hem of the man’s pajama pants. His eyes darted up to catch Rafael’s face, a silent question answered with a curt nod.

It’s all the encouragement he needs to hook his fingers into the waistband of the pants and briefs before tugging them off and letting them fall off the edge of the bed. He stares at Rafael, admiring how his stiff cock lays heavily against his abdomen against a neat patch of wiry hair. For a moment, all he can think about is having the other man’s cock in his mouth, feeling the weight on his tongue and the bitterness of precum painting his taste buds. But he shelves that thought with a sliver of hope that he might get the chance again. 

Sonny leans over, pulling open the bedside drawer, the wheels on the track squealing in protest before he reaches in with familiarity as he searches for the lube kept in there. He coats his fingers quickly, tossing the tube towards the pillows at the head of the bed, rubbing the cold, vicious liquid together to warm it. Not that it helps much, judging by the way Rafael recoils with a hiss at the feeling of Sonny’s index finger circling his hole. Sonny can’t help but smile, muttering a soft apology as he begins to press his finger in. 

He goes slowly, watching Rafael for his reactions. Watching his chest rise and fall, his brows knit together, and his eyes flutter shut at the sudden intrusion. Once his finger is into the knuckle, he begins to move, slowly working him open and curling his fingers in the way he knows makes Rafael melt and cry out. And sure enough, with a graze of the prostate, Rafael lets out an undignified cry as his cheeks become ruddy. He adds another finger, works him till Rafael’s hands are curled against the sheets, his hips rock down to meet each thrust and then adds another. He does this till he’s sure that Rafael's ready to snap at him to hurry up and fuck him, and the throbbing of his own cock becomes too much.

He draws back, wiping his fingers against the comfort despite knowing how much Rafael hates when he does that, and he almost thinks to apologize before making quick work of his own clothing. He shivers at the sudden chill against heated skin but ignores it as he reaches towards the partially opened drawer, only to be stopped by Rafael’s breathy voice, “I don’t have any. Haven’t been with anyone since..” He trailed off, avoiding Sonny’s gaze and raised brow, but the man didn’t push, though silently, there was some gratification knowing that he was the last person to have slept with the lawyer. “I don’t mind.”

“I haven’t either,” Sonny murmurs as he grabs the lube, coating his cock with a few leisurely strokes that send pinpricks of pleasure up the length of his spine. Sure he had been on dates since then, but none of them had panned out into anything beyond a fleeting romantic interaction. If he was honest, none of them felt right compared to what he and Rafael had. But that was a discussion for some other time. 

He sits on his heels between Rafael’s spread legs and guides his cock into the man’s waiting entrance. Sonny rests most of his weight on his forearm, perched and sinking into the space beside Rafael’s head. He watches the way Rafael’s back lifts off the bed in an arch, the way muscles ripple as he grasps the comforter below till his knuckles blanched. Eyes flutter shut as he begins to move slowly, fingers digging into Rafael’s side. He tries to focus on the heat of Rafael wrapped around his cock and the feelings of bliss that come with it, the way his heart hammers in his chest and his breath becomes unsteady, but the image of Sargent Cole is still there.

He can still feel the cold metal of the gun barrel against his forehead and the imminent threat of death. He can still feel the cool dread holding him in a vice grip. Squeezing his eyes shut, he leans forward, burying his head in the crook of Rafael’s neck and breathing him in deeply. He can smell the spice of his aftershave, the floral notes of his body wash and the gentle scent of his moisturizer. “Talk to me. Please.”

Rafael’s hand winds its way through the short locks of graying blonde hair, tugging gently but hard enough that Sonny hisses. “You feel so good.” He feels Rafael turn his head slightly, pressing his lips against Sonny’s ear. He can feel the staccato breathing of Rafael as he’s fucked in a slow, steady rhythm. “You’re always so good for me, cariño.”

Sonny whimpers, muffling the sound in sweat-slicked skin, pressing kisses there to keep his mouth busy and quiet. He thinks for a brief moment of how he wants to leave a mark there, to force upon Rafael a reminder of past and present colliding in such a grievous affair, but thinks better of it. An arm wraps around his shoulder, drawing him close till their chests touch and warmth sears from the connection. 

“I missed this, missed feeling you.” Sonny isn’t sure if Rafael is just babbling, thoughts and mind clouded with pleasure or if there was truth to those words. So he shelved that for later. He didn’t care if it was all lies meant to make him feel better at this moment. Because even if they were, it was working. Tears begin to burn at his eyes, chest constricting as the tempo of his thrusts picks up, and Rafael ’s hips rock back to meet each one. 

A noise catches in Rafael’s throat, caught between a moan and gasp at the sudden harshness of Sonny’s movements. He feels the blunted nails of the man curl against his shoulder blade before he drags it along the plane of his back. The action wretches a sob from Sonny, and he can’t help but feel bad, pathetic, for the way his tears begin to stain Rafael’s shoulder. Rafael doesn’t seem to mind, only pressing a kiss to the side of Sonny’s head as he holds him close.

“It’s okay, I’m here. You’re here with me.” Rafael whispers, hand stroking Sonny’s back in repetitive motions. “Look at me.”

Sonny hesitates for a moment before he moves, lifting his head just enough that the two can lock eyes. He expects to see censure for this display of vulnerability, for the way tears stains cling to his cheeks, but there is nothing but softness in those green eyes. The hand that wasn’t wound around Sonny’s shoulder rests against his cheek, thumb stroking away the wetness for a moment before drawing the detective down into a kiss.

It was anything but chaste, a fervid action that had Sonny’s stomach twisting and his balls tightening. He doesn’t think he will last long, and the thought scares him. He doesn’t want this to end. But he shoves them down, swallowing them as he reaches between their bodies to grasp Rafael’s cock.

“Fuck.” Rafael rasps, head lolling back against the bed as his hips push upwards against the sensation. He tries not to think of the end or what happens after, just focuses on how good Rafael looks and how his cock throbs. With parted lips and flushed cheeks, eyes black with the barest sliver of green, all because of him. It’s one of his favourite things, even now, seeing Rafael unwound and lost in the throes of pleasure, looking absolutely debased. He loves watching the way Rafael’s mouth opens and closes wordlessly with each firm stroke as he hurdles closer and closer to his release.

“Can I,” Sonny begins, words falling apart into a groan as Rafael tightens around him. “Can I, fuck, can I cum inside of you?”

“Please.” The way the word drips off Rafael’s tongue makes a shudder wrack through Sonny’s body. He just can’t help himself from driving harder into Rafael till the sound of skin slapping against skin dances around the air between them, and the sounds of Rafael’s moans reach a higher pitch as he writhes. 

Neither of them last long after that, careening towards the finish line in a carnal display of passion and pleasure. Sonny’s vision swims, and he’s distantly aware of the warmth that begins to spurt and coat his hand, but he doesn’t stop the movement of his wrist or the pushing of his hips before he finally presses deep, cock throbbing as he spills inside of Rafael .

He collapses on top of the man, trying to keep some of his weight on the elbow by Rafael’s head to prevent crushing the man. His eyes are closed as his chest rises and falls rapidly as he collects himself from the aftermath and warmth that washes over his body like the sun on a blazing summer afternoon. He hums softly at the sudden feeling of Rafael pressing gentle kisses to his cheeks and then the numerous quick pecks that Rafael presses to his lips.

Finally, Sonny’s eyes flutter open, and he stares down at Rafael; he lets out a shaky exhale and smiles. “Thank you.”

“My pleasure, cariño.” Rafael murmurs, thumb stroking over Sonny’s flushed cheek, catching the rough stubble. He looks pleased when Sonny doesn’t recoil from the endearment, and it’s not that it doesn’t make discomfort prickle at his skin, but he knows it was rather foolish to express that when his softening cock was still lodged within the man. Some things were better left unsaid.

He pulls out slowly, humming over the whimper Rafael lets out at the feeling. Then, on shaky legs, he gets to his feet. Staring down at the dishevelled state of the lawyer and admiring his handiwork. “I’ll grab a cloth.”

He doesn’t give the man a moment before he begins to move towards the ensuite bathroom. He catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror, half expecting to see his face painted in blood despite no longer feeling the phantom liquid anymore, and when he doesn’t, he exhales and moves on, retrieving the cloth and returning to the man who hadn’t moved an inch. Rafael reaches for it before wiping the cooling fluid from his stomach, and Sonny watches for only a moment before collecting his clothes from the floor.

“No, stop that.” Rafael begins as he sits upright. Sonny turns, staring at him with a quirked brow, his pants and briefs held loosely in his hands. “You’re staying the night.”

“Raf, come on, really, you don’t have to do this,” Sonny argues as he goes to put his briefs on. Rafael only stops him, grabbing the article of clothing, when Sonny attempts to slip his jeans back on. “I’ll be fine.”

“I know I don’t have to, I don’t have to do anything.” Rafael states, rolling his eyes when Sonny flashes him a look of shock and uncertainty. “And I’m sure you will be fine, I never said otherwise. But I know you, Sonny, I know you don’t want to leave and I don’t want you to either.”

Sonny stares at him with thin pressed lips as if considering a rebuttal to this before he lets out a sigh of resignation and lets his pants fall to the floor with a soft thud. Rafael smiles at him triumphantly, getting to his feet and drawing near to press a kiss to Sonny’s jaw. 

“Get into bed, I’m going to the washroom.” 

Despite his reservations, he does as he’s told. What point was there in arguing with a lawyer? Even if Sonny wasn’t far off from that title himself. He draws back the off-white, thick plush comforter and settles into his side of the bed. His side of the bed. The thought makes his stomach twist, and he wonders what this was, if this was something more or if Rafael was just keeping an eye on him while still in such a raw state. He should be grateful, but truthfully, he’s a bit annoyed. Not that he had the right to be, this is what he wanted, wasn’t it? 

The door opens again, and soon after, the bed dips under the other man’s weight and warmth envelopes Sonny’s side as the other man presses against him. He doesn’t even think as he wraps his arm around Rafael’s shoulder, drawing him near. 

“I missed you, Raf.” Sonny says, staring at the stucco ceiling overhead. He paints pictures in the texture, like one would when cloud gazing. “Amanda brought me home, tried to stay with me but all I could think of was how I wanted to be with you. It’s stupid, I know,” Sonny laughs softly. “I half expected you to throw me out on my ass, let alone this.”

“Do you really think I’m that heartless, detective?” Rafael chuckles at that, though he can still hear the underlying offence below the surface.

“No, I don’t.” Sonny says earnestly, squeezing Rafael’s shoulder for good measure. “Just with everything, I… I wasn’t sure. You know?”

“Yeah, I do know.” Rafael says, fingers spreading over Sonny’s chest. “We can talk more in the morning, if you’d like. Or this can be what it is. I don’t mind.”

“I’d like that, to talk that is. If you don’t mind.” 

[barisiscourtroom]

@randofando-spoonie​ asked for Barisi and forehead kisses, and suggested a 5+1, and my brain really latched onto that idea, because yeah, that is cute af =D It took a while, but I managed, and I’m not sure that this is what you wanted at all, but I hope you like it! =D

Once again a big thanks to @novemberhush​ for the beta! ♥

Warnings: There's a brief non-explicit injury to a minor character with a mention of blood, and there's some alcohol at one point. Less than canon levels on both tbh. This is just fluff.

Forehead Kisses ao3

2000 words | Gen characters: Rafael Barba, Sonny Carisi, Minor Characters (Lucia Barba and Olivia Benson) tags: Establishes Relationship, Fluff, 5+1 Things, Forehead Kisses, Asexual Sonny

Five times Sonny kissed Rafael on the forehead, and one time it was Rafael's turn.

1.

The first time it happened, Rafael didn’t think about it until long after the fact. He got a call when he was at the SVU, in the middle of talking to the squad about the latest case. He excused himself and stepped to the side to take it, and a teacher at his mother’s school told him his mother had been in an accident.

"I’m at the hospital, but they won’t tell me anything since I’m not family," she said, clearly distressed.

"What happened?" Rafael asked numbly.

"She fell and hit her head, and she passed out, so I called 911. She woke up before they got there, but there-" she stopped to take a shaky breath "-she was bleeding too."

Sonny quietly came over to Rafael, eyebrows furrowed in concern, and Rafael was torn between needing space and wanting his support and physical reassurance that he was there.

"I’ll be right there," he told the teacher. "What hospital are you at?" She told him where they were, and he promised to go there, then they hung up, and he looked at Sonny. "Mami’s in the hospital."

"Okay, let’s go," Sonny said, starting to lead Rafael to the elevators, then, addressing the squad, "Family emergency."

Liv fell into step with them, a worried frown on her face.

"My mother’s in the hospital," Rafael said, his voice only slightly wavering.

"Okay, stay as long as you need," Liv told Sonny, who nodded and pressed the button to call for an elevator. "Call if you need anything."

"Yeah," Rafael said.

The elevator got there, and once him and Sonny were alone, Sonny wrapped his arms around Rafael. "It’ll be okay," he murmured softly and pressed a kiss to Rafael’s forehead.

It was okay. Lucia had a concussion and four stitches on the back of her head, but she was mostly okay, the biggest bruise was to her ego, which she did not like.

"I slipped and got a concussion, Rafi," she complained, and he nodded for the umpteenth time. "I can never show myself at the school again."

"I think you’ll be fine," Rafael said patiently, and Lucia sighed.

It was a few days before Rafael remembered Sonny’s kiss on his forehead, but when he did, it hit him harder than he would have thought possible. He and Sonny hadn’t been together for long, just over a month, but they had kissed and shared a bed and discussed boundaries and consent and all the things that was necessary when in a relationship with a sex-indifferent asexual. A kiss on the forehead was tame. Mild. It shouldn’t be a big thing.

But it was a big thing, and Rafael had been too stressed to properly enjoy it when it happened.

2.

The second time was better. It was a couple of weeks after his mother’s fall, she was back at work, everything was calm, and Sonny had spent the night at Rafael’s on a weekday. He was wearing Rafael’s tie to work, and when Rafael got to the SVU later in the morning, he saw Sonny smile out of nowhere and stroke his hand down the tie. He noticed Rafael a second later, and he self-consciously put his hand down only to immediately adjust the tie as he came over to say hi.

"Sunshine," Rafael greeted, and Sonny’s face split into a beaming smile.

"Hi," he said.

Liv rolled her eyes at Sonny, and Rafael shot her a glare, making her roll her eyes at him too, then she started talking about the case they were working on.

He stayed longer than he strictly needed, because seeing Sonny looking so happy about wearing Rafael’s tie made it much harder than usual to leave. Rafael wasn’t sure he liked what that said about him, so he decided to not think about it. And he did manage to leave eventually.

But a few hours later he needed to ask Liv a question, and instead of picking up the phone like a reasonable person, Rafael went back to the SVU. The smile he got from Sonny was worth the knowing look he got from Liv. And he could get a better update about the case in person than via phone. Well he would have if they had actually made any progress.

"Twice in one day, Counselor," Sonny said when he walked Rafael to the elevator.

"Yes," Rafael said, refusing to try to justify the second visit to Sonny.

Sonny still smirked though, looking equal parts amused and pleased. "Well, it was nice to see you," he said.

"You too, Detective," Rafael said.

"I’ll see you later?" Sonny asked, just as the elevator got there.

"I’ll see you later," Rafael confirmed.

Sonny smiled and leaned in to press a kiss quick to his forehead. "Goodbye, Counselor," he said.

"Goodbye, Detective," Rafael said and stepped into the elevator.

He touched his forehead once the doors had closed, confused and pleased and happy. And annoyed. Sonny could just kiss him on the forehead like that whenever he wanted, but Rafael couldn’t kiss Sonny’s forehead without making him bend down or wait until he was sitting.

3.

The third time happened the next morning. Sonny was already out of bed when Rafael’s alarm woke him up, and he could smell coffee, so he padded to the kitchen to find him. He was making them breakfast, French toast, it looked like. There was bacon on the counter too.

"Good morning," Rafael said.

Sonny turned to smile at him. "Morning, babe," he said, grabbing a coffee cup for Rafael.

"Been up long?" Rafael asked.

"Nah, just twenty minutes or so, figured I might as well start breakfast," Sonny said as he finished making Rafael’s coffee. He came over to hand it to him, then pressed a kiss to his forehead. "Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," Rafael said. "Woke up miserable for a moment, but it’s all better now."

"Oh?" Sonny asked, full of concern.

"I was alone in bed," Rafael explained, and Sonny’s smile was instant.

"Sorry," he said, not sounding sorry in the least, just happy and pleased.

"I can see that," Rafael said.

He wanted to go stand in front of Sonny so he would kiss his forehead again. It really had no right being that nice. And Sonny really had no right to be that tall, so Rafael couldn’t kiss him back.

4.

It was getting to be a regular thing, and Rafael loved it, even if it was slowly driving him crazy. And the fourth one was just plain rude.

Sonny had been visiting Bella, getting some toddler time and giving Bella and Tommy a night off cooking, which was very nice of him. Rafael had thought it would be nice to be home alone for a day, to relax and recharge, he used to appreciate those days, but then Sonny had ruined that too, and Rafael found himself whiny and needy. And utterly fucking alone.

>> How is everything with Bella and Tommy?

That would be okay to ask, just checking in.

<< They’re good.

Well, that was a disappointing text. He frowned at it, trying to figure out what to say to keep the conversation going just a little longer. He got another one before he did.

<< Don’t tell me you’re bored already? What about your relaxing and recharging?

Rafael glared at his phone.

>> I’ll have you know I’m having a very good time.

<< I’m glad. I do miss you, if it makes any difference. Toddler kisses are great and all, but I’d much rather kiss you. A lot less saliva everywhere.

>> Wonderful, I’m a better kisser than a toddler. Such high praise.

<< It is. But I’d rather be kissing you than pretty much anything right now.

>> You’ll just have to owe me one.

<< Do you want me to come by after dinner so you can collect?

>> If you’re up for it, I’d like that.

<< I’m always up for seeing you, I thought you’d figured that out by now.

>> I’ve had my suspicions, glad to have them confirmed.

<< I have to get back to the cooking, but I’ll let you know when I’m on my way.

>> Say hi. See you later.

It was easier after that, knowing that Sonny would get there within a few hours. Rafael spent some time tidying his home and listening to music, and by the time Sonny texted to let him know he was on his way, he actually felt rested and recharged.

Sonny looked a happy mess when he got there, his clothes wrinkly and with a couple of stains on his henley, his hair tousled, and his smile big.

"She wants to touch everything," Sonny said, gesturing to the state of himself, then pointed at the stains, "and she insisted on being in my lap for dinner."

"Charming," Rafael said.

"Do you have something I could borrow?" Sonny asked, picking at his shirt.

"I’ll get you something," Rafael said, heading to his closet.

Sonny followed, pulling his shirt off as he walked, and when Rafael handed him a clean henley, he accepted it with a smile. "Thanks," he said, pulling it on.

"I believe you owe me a kiss," Rafael said. He had planned on waiting, but Sonny was right there, and he hadn’t seen him since the day before.

"I do," Sonny said and cupped Rafael’s cheeks. He kissed his forehead, then pulled back with a badly suppressed smile.

"Really?" Rafael asked, his stomach fluttering and his chest warm.

Sonny stopped suppressing his smile and leaned in for a proper kiss. Rafael loved kissing Sonny, and it was better than the forehead kisses, but not by much.

5.

A couple of days later, they were at Liv’s place, the whole squad and Rafael. He had had some scotch, and he was slightly tipsy. Sonny was too, smiley and happy and all kinds of perfect. Rafael went to the kitchen to get some water, finding Liv already there, getting another bottle of wine.

"Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, of course, I’m just getting some water," Rafael said.

"Are you sure?" Liv asked, and Rafael furrowed his brow. "It’s just that you’ve been glaring at Sonny all evening."

"Oh," Rafael said.

"What’s wrong?" Liv asked.

"Nothing’s wrong," Rafael said, smiling reassuringly.

"Rafael," she said, raising her eyebrows at him.

Rafael sighed and stepped closer, lowering his voice. "Okay, but you can’t tell anyone, okay? I will kill you myself," he said.

Liv looked delighted at having her life threatened. "Hand to God," she said.

"He kisses me on the forehead," Rafael said.

"Uh. Okay?" Liv said.

Rafael sighed, frustrated. "He’s so tall, Liv, he just has to lean in and my forehead’s right there, and it’s the best thing ever, you don’t even know, and it’s driving me crazy because he’s so damned tall, I can’t kiss his forehead," he said.

Liv was pursing her lips together, looking like she was about to burst into laughter any second, and she didn’t cow at all when he glared at her.

"That sounds-" she started.

"Like a short person problem," Sonny finished from behind Rafael.

Liv started to laugh, and Rafael clenched his jaw and closed his eyes to breathe for a moment. "You knew he was there," he accused.

"I’m so sorry," Liv said, wheezing with laughter.

"Oh, I can tell," Rafael said.

"Babe," Sonny said, and Rafael turned his glare at him. He just looked happy, though. Tall and happy. Then he cupped Rafael’s head between his hands and leaned in to kiss his forehead.

"I hate you," Rafael grumbled, his chest warm with happiness.

Sonny grinned as he pulled him close and put his forehead against Rafael’s temple. "And I love you," he said softly, his breath tickling against Rafael’s ear.

+1.

"Get down here," Rafael said, turning to cup Sonny’s cheeks, and when Sonny lowered his head for him, he pressed a kiss to his forehead, then pulled back to look him in the eyes. "I love you too."

[detective-giggles]

Masterlist

It’s short and sweet for now but hopefully it’ll get longer. If you want to be on my Barisi or Tarlos taglist, let me know :)

***Asterisks denote NSFW***

Tarlos (AO3)

Fireflies:  TK is slightly misinformed. Carlos helps him out.

Proposal Prep: 5 Times Carlos asks permission to marry TK, and the 1 time he finally asks TK.

Flufftober 2021: The collection of Tarlos fics for flufftober. All fluff, all the time! Each chapter will be a standalone fic!

A Christmas to Remember: Tarlos + Fam Christmas Fluff. Written for the Tarlos Secret Santa!

Snowball Fight: a little wintry fluff during Carlos’ first time in the snow.

Tarlos Drabbles: Celebrating my 126 followers with 126-word drabbles!

Lost and Found: Soulmate 5+1:  Based on the prompt- Whenever you lose an item, it ends up in your soulmate's possession

APD’s Danger Magnet:  AU for the February Ficlet Challenge: Officer Strand is injured and meets Paramedic Reyes. Flirting ensues.

Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing: For the February Ficlet Challenge: Amnesia

Breakfast in bed:  Breakfast in bed after TK's first night home.

Marry Me:  TK and Carlos don't always spend their days off together. But who they hang out with and why might be a surprise.

Save the Date: TK talks Carlos into eloping. But he might have a little surprise for Carlos too.

A Tarlos triple-drabble inspired by a foxes-in-love comic.

Tarlos fic Collection: Each chapter is a standalone fic. #3, #4, #5: Smut Lite NEW

How Did we Get Here: (Tarlos Weekly Prompt) Single-Parent AU 5+1.

You and Me: Tarlos watches the sunrise together on the most important day of their lives. 

Sinfully Delicious:  Chef Carlos AU: TK shows up to a couple’s cooking class alone.  Flirting Ensues. 

The Comfort of Your Touch: TWP prompt for TK bringing coffee / a treat to Carlos while he’s at work NEW

Leave it all Behind: Set post 3x07, Carlos takes TK on a trip to clear his head. AFG Fluff bingo fill for: Skinny Dipping NEW

Perfect(ly Ordinary) Moments: TWP prompt for Dads Tarlos and their first Halloween with their kid. NEW

***Pushing Boundaries:  Smutty shower fun. PWP. NEW

***Coming Home to You:  TK wants to cheer Carlos up after a bad day... Luckily he knows just the trick. NEW

Together We’re Unstoppable:  Carlos gets hurt at work and needs to think of making decisions for his future. NEW

Flufftober 2022: NEW

Barisi

Forgotten Love: 2 prompt fills. A romantic-amnesia story involving love letters.

***Stolen Kisses: A request for a first-time Barisi make-out session.

Contempt: A request on how SVU can make Barisi canon in Season 22

Dancing: A drabble for my collection on AO3.

***Husbands in Quarantine: A request for Quarantine Barisi smut

***Hobby: Bingo fill. Smut on a couch.

Secret Love: Bingo fill. Rafael is on-scene when Sonny gets injured at work.

Simply Delicious: Barisi’s relationship told through the food they share.

Barisi Kisses #1: Prompt--Height Difference

Barisi Kisses #2: Prompt--Post-sex Kisses

Barisi Kisses #3: Prompt--Long-distance Kisses

Barisi Headcanons

Lazy Saturday- Just a little HC for a Barisi weekend.

Barisi (AO3)

What to Expect When You’re Not Expecting: for the Barisi Holiday Exchange. Rafael decides whether he wants to adopt a child with Sonny.

Date Night: A double drabble response to the first Barisi Art Challenge. Date nights don’t always work out as planned.

Make it Right For You: SVU takes down a trafficking ring and ends up doing a little baby-sitting. Rafael helps.

The Problem with Pasta: For the opposites challenge. Rafael helps teach Sonny to cook.

Baby Blues: Another for the opposites challenge. Sonny is clueless with kids and ends up having to baby-sit Noah!

The Way You Make me Feel: Soulmates challenge. Feel the same emotions your soulmate feels.

30 Days of Barisi: Mini-stories based on random prompts

A Novel Meeting: Pride month challenge-first Meeting. Alternate first meeting

First Date Revised: Pride month challenge-first date. Barisi’s first date doesn’t go as planned.

Moving Forward: Marriage Bingo challenge: Anniversary (Sad, but not in a bad way!)

No Place I’d Rather Be: Marriage Bingo challenge: Carisi has plans for himself and Barba at their wedding reception. Things don't actually go according to plan. 

An Accidental Proposal: Rafael travels to Staten Island to have a talk with Sonny's parents. Fluffiness ensues.

Drabble Collection: Collection of drabbles from random prompts. Currently  9 Barisi, 1 Cabenson.

(Grand)mother Knows Best: Catalina finds someone who would be perfect for her grandson, but she just needs to find a way to get them together.

Flufftober 2021: The collection of Barisi fics for flufftober. All fluff, all the time! Each chapter will be a standalone fic!

Snowed In: Just a little wintry married!Barisi fluff. 

Reader Insert

***Mine: Sonny Carisi x Reader

***Toy Box: Sonny Carisi x Reader

Sway: Sonny Carisi x Reader

Plus One: A Sonny x Reader meet-cute!

[barisifictionarchive]

Author: FreckledSkittles

Preferred Name: Chey

Have any events in your personal life ever influenced the things that you've written?

Oh, definitely! Sometimes when I have high anxiety, I write oneshot fics to get it all out. But generally, I use personal experiences for certain details like pet names or locations. I can name on both hands fics I’ve written like that.

Do you have a favorite movie? 

“Jurassic Park” is a cinematic masterpiece and I will not be taking criticism at this time. Also “Ratatouille” aka the best Pixar film. (Sorry for cheating and putting two, I just really love movies and wanna be a filmmaker one day)

Who is your favorite author?

Oof, I don’t have just one because it’s so hard to choose and I read such a wide variety. I’ve always appreciated Rick Riordan for his world building and characters, which I think has really influenced my writing. And not just because I’m developing a Greek mythology au lmaooo.  

How did you start getting involved in fanfiction?

Uhhhh the less embarrassing version is that I started writing on fanfiction(.)net when I was in middle school for a fandom that I am not going to post publicly because I am too embarrassed. I’ve always loved writing though and used to put outlines for different story ideas on my wall. No matter what’s going on in my life, no matter how I’m feeling, my writing is always gonna be there.

How did you get involved with Barisi?

I had watched SVU on and off for a few years but my college roommate got into it but I hadn’t watched the most recent seasons which is where she was starting so I got to watch new episodes and ones I hadn’t. (Funnily enough, when I heard Raúl was leaving, I got uninterested in anything without him, because he’s just so amazing like, how could I?) I ended up finding Barisi on accident because I have tornado anxiety (I’m from the north which hardly ever gets tornadoes) and wanted to look at Barba content and I looked for ships and found an article discussing Barisi and queerbaiting, and lo and behold. I started writing my first fic after that and posted it a month later.

What inspires you to write?

Literally anything. A video game I’m playing like “Breath of the Wild” or “Stardew Valley”? Canon scenario that should happen but won’t because the showrunners and writers are cowards? Saw a dog? Can’t stop thinking of a song? Watched a Youtube video and heard a quote that won’t get out of my head? I will find something. I’m surprised with what I haven’t found inspiration in, tbh. (Just now, I thought of an idea, my brain does not turn off Barisi)

What is your favorite fic that you have written? 

My favorite fic changes every now and then but I think right now, it’s “Running the Bases.” It’s a baseball au with Sonny as a pitcher and Rafael as a ghostwriter hired to write his memoir, and they are ridiculously into each other. I love baseball and it really helped ease the pain of not really having a baseball season in 2020. I faced a challenge in it around the type of conflict it was and the sort of story I wanted to tell with it, especially between Rafael and Sonny, and the end product is something I could not be prouder of. I genuinely think it’s one of the best things I’ve written and will ever write.

What is your favorite quote from a fic of yours? 

Like my favorite fic, this changes a lot too; right now, it’s from another fic I’m proud of: “A Learning Experience” which is a merman!Sonny fic and also slow burn (look i like angst and drama in fics okay)

“I’m sorry we aren’t the same.”

Rafael frowns and reaches a hand down. Sonny grabs it like a lifeline. “Why do you say that?”

“Because we can’t be together like we want. Or like I want. I don’t,” Sonny huffs at how frantic he sounds, his thoughts rushing together and making him trip over his words. It could be another tick against him to prevent him and Rafael from enjoying each other’s company. “I want to kiss you. And hold you. And I don’t know what to do about it.”

“Wait for me.” Rafael’s grip becomes desperate as his other hand flies forward to hold his hand between his. “I know it’s a lot to ask of you, but I’m not going to avoid you again. I’m coming back to you.”

Sonny tries to steal one more kiss, just one more, but falls short of making the distance and sinks back down. At least it made Rafael smile, as much as the sadness was pulling at the edges. “I’d look for you otherwise. Even if I have to walk to you, I want to be with you.”

Rafael stretches out so he can press a kiss to his forehead. Sonny’s tail stutters underneath him—the kiss had been warmth and soft, such a nice comparison to the brash and hard exterior Rafael supports, harder than the scales on Sonny’s tail—but he stays afloat. “And even if I have to swim to you, I’ll come back to you.”

I,..,.,.,didn’t mean for this to be so long, it’s Barisi’s fault (not really it’s mine skgakjhsadjdhjlag). I just writing lines where Barisi is completely and utterly and ridiculously in love and no matter where they are they’re gonna try and find one another and wax poetry at one another because they’re what? Weenies In Love

What is your personal favorite fanfic? (Can be any fandom) 

Oooooo okay so I’m gonna do a fic from the Attack on Titan/Shingeki no Kyojin fandom. (That’s right, I like anime, that’s where the FreckledSkittles name comes from.) If I don’t read this fic every year, I think about it and just get so many emotions for it. That’s my favorite type of fic: there are so many emotions conveyed into a piece that are organized and concise and so beautifully done. The fic is “Say You Will (or That You Wish You Could)” by Friedcheesemogu. Believe it or not, it’s a fic with a “grumpy one and the sunshine one” pairing; it’s a bookstore au; and it’s a slow burn. I’m not saying I’m predictable but I’m definitely predictable.

Anything else you would like to add? 

I’ve been in a few fandoms over the years and I’ve had friends in all of them but the Barisi nation folks are the first ones I’ve met that feel like lifelong friends. If it weren’t for the support I got after posting my first fic, I would not be so vigorously writing Barisi or any SVU pairing at all. So thank you for taking me in and being nice to me and reading/commenting on my fics. When I say it makes my day, I mean it from the very bottom of my heart. 

A question you’d like to ask another author?

First off, hi, it’s an honor to talk to you, love your writing, mwah. Second, what do you do with ideas that you write out or outline but you don’t end up turning them into fics? I like to keep them even though they won’t turn into anything but they still bring me a little bit of happiness for what could have been.

[ao3feed-barisi]

announcing your place (in the family)

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3h0xFoJ

by givebackmylifecas

“I promise you, they don’t hate you.” Sonny shakes his head, clutching at Rafael. “They do. It’s been a month and they still ignore me, shout down my ideas. I thought you said the Manhattan SVU would be different.” Rafael bites his lip. “I know, I thought it would be, baby. Maybe I should have told Liv about us, instead of letting Dodds do it.”

AU of the beginning of S16 where Sonny and Rafael have been married for years but no one knows

Words: 2240, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Law & Order: SVU

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Rafael Barba, Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., Olivia Benson, Nick Amaro, Amanda Rollins, Odafin "Fin" Tutuola

Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Established Relationship, Married Barisi, Homophobia, Canon-Typical Behavior, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/3h0xFoJ

[lumiereandcogsworth]

characters: barba, belle, ben wyatt

(this is going to be long, heads up)

barba:

How I feel about this character:  i LOVE this man. i am. in love. with this man?? ugh from the sass to the suits & suspenders to just him overall being the most badass lawyer ever. i love him so very much

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  like none really?? he’s so married to his work. barisi is cute though

My non-romantic OTP for this character:  BARBA AND LIV’S FRIENDSHIP IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING I WOULD DIE FOR THIS BROTP their friendship: E V E R Y T H I N G

My unpopular opinion about this character:  i think sometimes he does stuff that most see as “daring and brilliant” and i sometimes see it as “boy have you lost your mind cuz i’ll help you find it”. but don’t get me wrong most of the time i’m like yaaaas that’s my lawyer man!!! just near his end they started making him act questionably and it was annoying. i am also referring to his final ep but we do not talk about that hahahah

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: either had a relationship (with sonny or like,, anyone ?? just show how he is in a romantic relationship) or just really anything more about his personal life. it’s not that it was needed, cuz he was an incredibly interesting character on his own, it’s just it would’ve been nice to know more about him!

my OTP: barisi i guess?

my cross over ship: i’m no good at these. i barely ship him with anyone in his world

a headcanon fact: none come to mind but i’ll edit if i think of any?

belle:

How I feel about this character:  ah. my dearest belle! i think if i had to say who my fictional character hero was, it would be a combination of this beautiful gal and detective olivia benson. i love her.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  my son prince adam!!! that is it. they are otp. good day.

My non-romantic OTP for this character: i hc that her and lumière have a pretty cute friendship. and also plumette. i mean who are we kidding she becomes bros with everybody in the castle.

My unpopular opinion about this character: truly don’t think i have one? i mean? i’m pretty sure we all agree she’s really great and smart and courageous and wonderful?

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: wish she had a friend in villeneuve. like, it does add more weight to the perfection of adelle. both of them lonely. but i mean dang would’ve been cool if she had a bff in town who didn’t get why she was so into reading but also supported her on it and belle in turn tried to teach her to read every once in a while.

my OTP: A D E L L E

my cross over ship: i refuse to answer this question

a headcanon fact: she’s really good at cooking and tries to teach adam different family recipes of hers. she’s an early to bed early to rise gal except when she’s accidentally started a book too late, then she’ll stay up to an ungodly hour to finish it without struggle. she loves horses and riding, which isn’t entirely hc cuz she rides philippe, but like. she loves going to the castle stables and taking care of the horses and such. as a parent she’s a lot more laid back than adam, often encouraging the kiddos to go on adventures while adam is panicked about it. okay i’m going into adelle stuff now i’ll stop

ben wyatt:

How I feel about this character:  i love benjamin wyatt!!! he’s my fave parks character. he’s such a nerd and such a good bf/husband and he’s just great.

All the people I ship romantically with this character:  just leslie !! cuz i’m Like That

My non-romantic OTP for this character:  he makes good friendships with everyone but i think his bond with april is really cool. i love when they’re in d.c. it’s SO cute and i think he (along with leslie and ron) is so important to april’s growth as a person.

My unpopular opinion about this character:  i think it’s unpopular to have ben as my favorite character of parks lmaooo so i’ll say that. i can’t think of anything else

One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon: i wish the mayor of partridge or the town would like actually forgive him for what he did. like i know it doesn’t matter and he moved on but that ep where he goes back and they just trash on him is so lame and makes me sad. though the fact that he’s all drugged up for most of it makes it funny lmao

my OTP: benslie of course! they’re probably my second favorite ship next to adelle.

my cross over ship: no

a headcanon fact: can’t think of any. i don’t think about him enough lol

[farklelucas]

barba/carisi for the kid meme (even though i've only known barisi for a day and a half sdjlkfkl)

you: i’ve only had barisi for about a day and a half, but if anything happened to them i would kill everyone in this room and then myself.

Name: francesca benita barba

Gender: female

General Appearance: thick black hair, tanned skin, a mischievous smile at all times, big comfy sweaters, willowy and light on her feet.

Personality: kind of a badass bitch, definitely a slytherin, very loyal and protective, witty and funny, imagine a mini-barba but with heart eyes.

Special Talents: she aces mock trial all throughout high school, she’s super fucking smart, and she reads like it’s nobody’s business.

Who they like better: she definitely has a unique relationship with both of them. with barba it’s that snarky and witty repertoire, but with carisi it’s basically ‘uwu i would die for you’ ‘franny you do Not  need to do that im literally a detective’ ‘and i would STILL die for you!!!!’

Who they take after more: definitely barba lmao

Personal Head canon: always has a mug of hot liquid in hand, loves studying in her father’s office, is super close with both sides of her family (esp all her aunts), loves the color yellow, is super expressive with her eyebrows, makes her dad take her shooting and quickly finds out she hates it, hates baby pictures/home videos of herself, is the oldest sibling and loves the power, loves wearing high heels because she likes the click but can barely walk in them.

Face Claim: aubrey plaza

send me a pairing for their kids

[whoevrwhatevr]

Thinking about Sonny coming up behind Rafael, wrapping his lanky arms around Raf's broad shoulders, engulfing him, nestling his head atop of Rafael's.

Thinking about Rafael coming up behind Sonny, wrapping his strong arms tightly around the detective's slim waist, burying his face into his back, softly kissing all up and down his spine.

[novemberhush]

My top 5 ships (currently)

I was tagged by @ghostofachancewithyou (thanks, hon!😘) to tag my top 5 ships. I added the ‘currently’ because I don’t just have a few ships, I have an entire frickin’ navy! And some days I’m more interested in taking HMS McDanno out for a spin on the water. Other days it’s all hands on deck for HMS Sterek. Others still it’s all aboard the good ship Marvey. So the rankings can change, but that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t go down with every single ship. Anyhoo, in no particular order, this is probably the current top 5.

1. Sterek (just look at these adorable idiots who have suffered too much and deserve peace)

2. Stucky (seriously, look at these beautiful, tragic bastards who have suffered too much and deserve peace)

3. Johnlock (look, I don’t claim to know what goes on in Mofftiss’ heads and I don’t really care, because I shipped Johnlock long before they got their hands on the characters and I will long after they’re done with them because I know John and Sherlock, Watson and Holmes, are in love with each other. Now look at these pining morons who have suffered too much and deserve peace. Hmmm, I’m sensing a pattern...)

4. McDanno (jfc, look at the way Steve looks at Danny like he’s his entire world, this ship is so frickin’ canon it sails itself. Oh, and yeah, they’ve both suffered and deserve peace.)

5. Marvey (okay, I’ve been neglecting them of late because I’m so sick of the show and everything hurts when I try to watch it, even before Mike left, but they’ll always be my boys... who have suffered too much and deserve yadda, yadda, yadda)

Honorary mentions must go to Napollya, Barisi, Lewis/Hathaway (seriously, Lewis fandom, can we all just agree to call them either Hewis or Lathaway?), Ichabbie (you see, I do have heterosexual ships, but even those seem to end up dashed against the rocks of canon, or maybe I’m just a Jonah, dooming every ship I jump aboard to a watery grave), Jorian, Thomas Barrow/happiness (personally I lean towards the ship of Parkbarrow, but I’d be satisfied with just seeing Thomas happy with anyone), and, oh God, so many more! Okay, I tag @rolodexthoughts @sairyn-noc @halespecterwinchester @writing2reachyou @an-intronerd @book-rabbit @treezrgreen and anyone else who wants to play. 😘

[whisperingvictory]

What Barba Says: Good idea for a law review article though, you should give Carisi a couple of months off.

What Barba Means: I never get to see my boyfriend anymore Olivia.

[poipoi1912]

An Update

GUYSSSS

I’m alive and overworked (but loving it! The new job is kicking my butt in a great way lol, I feel super energized and confident and creative, but also my free time is more limited, unfortunately) and I have sooooo much to reblog and so many lovely messages to respond to, buuuuuuut also I’ve been writing a lot! And you know that, when I write, I can’t tumble (it distracts me lol) and also, when I tumble it means I’m procrastinating and I haven’t written shit, so my absence is actually a good thing :D

Speaking of:

Barisi Update

I’m currently 9K deep in another of my multi-episode tags, one dealing with the events of Intent (and the Sonny/Amanda situation) as well as the entire, seasons-spanning Barisi relationship (shoutout to those death threats! Never forget!), and also I’m giving Barba a new ending, because I can!

(you’ll recall that I said I was writing about Intent, but real life got too hectic, so instead of discarding that entire story I decided to combine it with my “Barba is leaving” episode tag so y’all can get ALLLLL the angst :D)

So you can expect that story someday soon. I was aiming for this Wednesday (remember when I used to post episode tags on Wednesdays before the new episodes? No?), and I’m going to get a lot of writing done over the weekend, so I just might make it (lol no i won’t), but next week is going to be crazy busy work-wise, and I don’t know if I’ll have the presence of mind to write or edit on weeknights.

Still.

The story is coming. I am writing literally on the bus, at work during lunch, I even wrote down a cute idea while I was walking home a couple of days ago. I feel inspired, and good, and excited about Barisi, and, just as I predicted, I find myself feeling free now that Barba is not on the show, because canon no longer binds me. I’m writing what I wish we could all see, and I’m back to that S17 mindset of “seeing” my stories play out inside my own head. Even though I’m currently writing a double fix-it fic, somehow I feel unencumbered by the actual episodes. I think it’s because we will never see Barba again, so I feel that by writing him I am able to see him, still, and to hear his voice, and that makes me happy and even more eager to write. Does that make sense?

Anyway. I will post this story soon. Hopefully it will give you all some closure, and it’ll be more satisfying than the actual show (lol of course it will be, the show is garbage).

That’s all from me.

I’m sorry I don’t have more time to be here, I’m sorry I’m missing out on fun stuff while I’m gone, I’m sorry I always keep you waiting, and, as always, I love you all!

❤️❤️❤️

P.S. Kylie Bunbury is ten times the detective and the baseball player Sonny Carisi will ever be.

[detective-giggles]

Contempt

Just a little one-shot. My friend had a headcanon on how they can make Barisi canon in season 22 and I kind of ran with it. Easy peasy!

***

Carisi grumbled and kicked the leg of the bunk-hard-and then dropped onto the thin mattress.  He braced his elbows on his knees and looked around. The holding cells were quieter than he imagined- although everyone else was probably still at their arraignments. Carisi sighed and dropped his head into his hands.

He heard the click clack of heels on the cement floor, but didn’t look up until he was addressed, “You okay?”

“Liv? Yeah. Peachy,” he huffed, “on the bright side, this is the first Friday evening I haven’t had to spend in my office since I started so...” he gave a half shrug and stood, joining Benson at the bars. “It’s, uh, different from in here.”

Benson laughed and rolled her eyes, “said like someone who’s never actually spent the night in jail before.”

Carisi chuckled, “Am I that obvious?”

The pair lapsed back into silence before Benson spoke again, “All great ADA’s wind up in here at one point or another. I just expected it to take you a little longer.”

“I was making a point!” He hit the bars with the side of his fist and then turned, stepping to the middle of the holding cell.

“Yeah, and so is Judge Catano!” Benson paused for a second and her gaze softened. “Look, Carisi-”

“Does Hadid know?” He asked, torn between wondering if this was a fireable offense-and hoping it was.

Benson laughed again, “Oh yeah. She said to tell you that you’re sitting in here all weekend.”

“Great,” he muttered, dropping to the bunk once more.

Benson shifted, studying Carisi carefully as he pouted, wondering what had gotten into him. Mouthing off to a judge was out of character for the former detective. If she didn’t know better, she thought he sounded a little like-

“Mr. Carisi!” Carisi jumped up as the uniformed officer made his way to the cell. “You are free to go. Your lawyer paid your bail.”

Benson gave him a quizzical look, “Your lawyer?”

Carisi shrugged as the officer unlocked the cell and pulled the door open. He grinned and tucked one hand into his pocket as he casually strolled out front, with Benson watching from a slight distance.

“My knight in shining armor,” Carisi laughed, then shrugged, “or in my favorite jeans and a Henley.” He dipped his head down, bringing his lips to Barba’s.

“Rita called. She said your big mouth had gotten you in trouble. And she suggested I get you one of those collars. You know, for the yappy dogs?”

Carisi stomped, “I was making a point!” He emphasized without any actual anger. “Thanks for bailing me out, Rafi.”

Barba grinned. “It was entirely selfish, you know. I have no intention of cooking my own dinner.”

Carisi laughed as he slipped his hand behind Barba, resting it gently on the small of his back. “Anything you want,” he promised as they made their way outside.