#bandit's jessica

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Roger and Jessica: Real Love, or Just a Joke?

You know how Roger Rabbit could only take his hand out of the handcuffs when it would be funny?

I wonder if the Rule of Funny applies to other aspects of his life.

Including his marriage to Jessica.

Are they together because they fell in love ... or just because it's amusing for a goofy guy to marry a hot woman way out of his league?

Is their connection genuine ... or forced by toon logic?

Now, having seen the film (and read the comics) - having seen how Roger is the only person who doesn't judge Jessica based on her appearance but actually cares about her as a person - and having seen how Jessica is the only person who doesn't berate Roger for his mistakes but treats him with kindness - I'm pretty confident in saying they truly love each other and their marriage is not just a joke.

But I wonder if the Rule of Funny is something either Roger or Jessica would ever worry about.

(And I'm going to tag @aparticularbandit because I wonder if this is something that ever crossed your Jessica's mind when you RPed her.)

[aparticularbandit]

WHY ARE ALL MY BLORBOS DEPRESSED

[tekksaviek]

Chocolate P a l a c e

[kirajw]

Justin Timberlake and Jessica Biel as ‘Home Alone’s” The Wet Bandits for Halloween 2022

[cobaltstarling]

Possibly dumb idea

Asexual succubus/incubus

After all, sex is oftentimes just how they feed, and you definitely don’t need to find your food sexually attractive.

[ithebookhoarder]

(BAU Headcanons) Spending a day off with your S.O.

Aaron Hotchner

Ok. So. First of all... Aaron's casual wardrobe is sinful and I feel like I need to mention it when talking about days off. After all, he's not going to turn down the excuse not to wear a shirt and tie, knowing jeans and his usual polo shirts are better suited to both relaxing and possibly chasing after Jack.

If you two ever got a rare day off then he would do his best to make you breakfast in bed, knowing that having an excuse to stay in bed is a luxury.

If Jack is with you, and not at Jessica's, then you know Jack would be right next to him in the kitchen, begging to help. I mean, if you watch Bluey, picture the episode where Bingo is trying to make that omelette for Bandit on his birthday... that's basically the vibe here.

Hotch wouldn’t try to force you out of the house if you didn’t want to go, as he’s perfectly happy to stay in and play with you and Jack. After all, you have the most recent lego set, which you bought him for his birthday, to finish building.

"You up for that buddy? Six hands are better than four, after all."

Or, if you don't have the energy or patience, then you three can curl up on the sofa together and watch movies and the backlog of tv shows you’ve missed out on whilst you’ve been away working. 

Fun Fact: Aaron would rather die than admit to the rest of the BAU that you got him hooked on reality shows like The Real Housewives of Beverley Hills or Below Deck -but he is. He finds them fascinating case studies in human behaviour... or that's his excuse anyway when you call him out on it.

However, if you do want to actually leave the house and get outside then he’d be pretty relaxed about whatever it is you wanted to do, as long as you could all do it together. 

He'd also love it if you both got the chance to go for a run, enjoying the rare opportunity to race you through the nearby park. You can just soak in the sunshine and watch the other people as they make their way through the world, before grabbing a coffee on your way home.  

David Rossi 

Rossi is a man who knows the value of creature comforts, as we've seen repeatedly in the show. You know this man enjoys having time off to indulge himself - and you too.

As soon as he knows he has the day off, you can bet he's driving you to the local farmer's market to buy all the ingredients needed for a home cooked feast. 

Despite promising to be there only an hour, you know he's the kind of person who would talk to each and every vendor, learning all their names and asking after their families as if they've been friends since birth.

You'd end up spending almost the entire morning - and part of the afternoon - shopping, sampling various treats and wares, and buying several bag's worth, before you're finally able to drag him back to the car.

As he's cooking, Rossi would definitely play his favourite records. He alternates between crooning along and telling you tidbits about the artists - and the many crazy memories he has about these records.

"Did I ever tell you about the time I first heard this? We were in this tiny little motel, in the middle of a horrific blizzard, and several whiskeys in..."

It's hard not to get distracted, drawn in as he pulls you close and starts dancing about the kitchen. You'd get so distracted that you almost let dinner spoil and only remember it's even there when you start to smell something burning.

"Ah! Merda!"

After dinner you know you'd end up outside on his patio, enjoying the view as the sun goes down, over a cocktail of his choosing.

Derek Morgan

You know this eager beaver would not be spending a day off with you doing nothing or letting the day ‘go to waste��.

He’d be at your doorstep bright and early, looking unfairly energetic for someone who has been running on minimal sleep all week.

Thankfully, he brings coffee and breakfast with him which is his way of bribing you to get your ass up and out with him. 

As for the day itself, he’d either have the day planned to a ’t’ or he’d have nothing planned at all. 

“Relax, sweetness, we’re letting the day take us where it may. Enjoy the ride.” 

He'd love having a reason to take you to whatever property he's renovating, hoping to share his vision for the place and getting your opinion on it all.

He'd even let you have a swing or two with a sledgehammer if there's a dry-wall that needs taking down. It's a great stress-reliever for you both, and there's nothing like hammering along in the time to beat of whatever playlist he's chosen.

He'd also order you a pizza, or whatever take-out you fancied, as payment for all your hard work.

You know he'd also been keen to help you wash up later, running you both a hot bath to soak in as you actually have the time to enjoy it.

And just between us - he knows Hotch and Rossi would have his guts his they found out - but he may or may not have left your cellphones on the bed-side table just to ensure you get an hour of peace, undisturbed...

Emily Prentiss

Ok. So. Emily loves having a day off almost as much as she enjoys working.

She doesn't require much in the way of plans. In fact, her ideal day off from the BAU involves you, a crossword puzzle, and your usual table by the window at the coffee shop around the corner.

It's right by the window, so you can bathe in the sun whilst you nurse your way through coffee after coffee.

The whole place reminds her of one similar that she spent her time in, in Paris. Just like then, she loves reading books, and completing the daily crossword with your help.

"Damn it. This is what time in Europe gets you - I forgot there's no 'u' in color. No wonder it wasn't fitting."

Emily also has a game she likes to play, watching the people around you, guessing what their stories are and imaging outlandish profiles for them all. It's a privilege to enjoy it when it's for entertainment and not out of a need to be aware of your surroundings or an ongoing threat assessment. 

Afterwards, you'd go for a stroll around the park and most likely visit the shops you rarely get a chance to.

You both spend ages going through the racks and modelling outfits for one another, knowing you need some new things to fill out your wardrobes other than work-attire. It's a like private treat for yourselves.

Once you're home again, I feel Emily would want to cook and would do a pretty good job when she has the energy. However, she is not above ordering takeout when you both can’t be bothered. 

After all, it gives you both more time together to lie in bed, with Sergio curled up between you, purring loudly as you take it in turns to pet him.

JJ

Depending on when you two got together (before or after Will), she would love to have a chance for the both of you to spend the day with Henry.

You're her family and the most important thing in the world to her. It's why she can't stop beaming as you spend the afternoon at the park together, running rings around the place and clambering all over the playground.

"I swear this kid is faster than most of the Unsubs we chase - and more sneaky too."

JJ would bring all your favourite snacks with her so you can all lie out on the grass and feast once your energy levels drop. She doesn't even mention the sugar content or how many E-numbers there are. You all deserve a treat, Henry included, so she's willing to put her 'mom hat' aside for a minute.

I feel like she'd also try and put her mom hat aside so you two can have some time without a child in tow. She'd try and make a last minute arrangement to get a sitter so you two can have some 'adult' time.

This normally involves making a reservation at your favourite restaurant, and insisting on you both dressing fancy just for the fun of it.

After all, you never get to play at being grown ups and just enjoy wearing something because it looks nice and not because you can run around in the field in it.

"I've had these heels for years and I swear I've only got to wear them like three times - and this skirt! I love this skirt."

Once you get to the restaurant, you spend hours just talking, drinking, and eating before taking a stroll on the way home.

You then curl up in bed and fall asleep to the sound of the TV playing your favourite movies, safe and warm in each other's arms.

Penelope Garcia 

This girl is the queen of relaxing. If she doesn’t have to be awake before noon then you can bet your ass she’ll be tucked up and toasty till 12:01. 

Once she's awake, however, she's a flustered mess, struggling to pick between her various plans for your time off together. There's just so much she wants to do with you and never enough time.

"What? I'm the queen of fun and I just want to make sure we make the most of our time together, sugar plum. I can't help it. I'm excited to have a day just you and me, not that I don't love the others too. I do, but you know, just having it be us is rare -"

You stop her rambling with a kiss, which of course makes her melt.

I feel like Penelope would always try and spend part of the day with you in the kitchen, baking a new recipe to take to work for the others to try.

She'd also love spending the day on the sofa with you, watching either a Rom-com or a Sci-fi marathon (depending on your moods).

Once the decision has been made, she'd insist on gathering supplies - AKA: onesies, takeout and face masks.

"It's the holy trinity of self-care," she explains, holding up your choices. "Now, do you want the tea-tree or coconut face mask?"

However, if you do feel like getting out of the house, then Penelope would take you on theatre trips - which are booked last minute but with amazing seats (courtesy of Penelope’s connections and slightly unorthodox know-how).

The others are still jealous after finding out she got you tickets to Hamilton, front row, with the original cast.

Dr Spencer Reid

You know Spencer is the kind of person that has a list of things the size of his arm that he’d love to do with you on a rare day off. 

You’d probably have to negotiate with him to figure out which ones you could reasonably do in just 24 hours - and you try to find a balance between appeasing his interests and yours. 

For example, you don’t mind sitting through a Russian movie festival if afterwards he agrees to let you wander around your favourite bookshop and spend as long as you want exploring the shelves - without him critiquing or spoiling the endings before you even have a chance to read the blurb. 

If you also happened to let it slip that you'd never watched every single episode of Doctor Who that's ever been made, then you know your future days off will be spent marathoning on the couch. 

"I'm just saying that he's underrated as the Doctor as arguably the narratives of his episodes are far better developed and reflect the point of the show, which is that the Doctor isn't perfect but rather a time-travelling refugee who acts as a healer, counsellor, and protector of the universe. It's why he calls himself 'The Doctor' ..."

He always looks so adorable when he gets excited about something he loves. It's hard not to fall in love with him all over again.

Apart from watching TV, you both also love spending days off on that couch, curled up together, reading your way through the stack of books you both had in your never ending ‘TBR’ pile. 

Spencer would love listening to you discuss whatever you're reading, doing his best to memorise the characters, plots, and your thoughts on both. It's the least he can do when you listen so patiently every time he starts rambling on about whatever his latest hyper-fixation is.

"Can I... can I borrow that when you're finished? I'm now curious - just don't tell the others, ok?"

Masterlist

[mostlysignssomeportents]

A "secure" system can be the most dangerous of all

Two decades ago, my life changed forever: hearing Bruce Schneier explain that “security” doesn’t exist in the abstract. You can only be secure from some threat. A fire alarm won’t protect you from burglaries. A condom won’t protect you from mass shootings. It seems obvious, but how often do we hear about “security” without any mention of who is being made secure, and from which threat?

Take the US welfare system. It is very “secure” in that it is hedged in by a thicket of red-tape, audits, inspections and onerous procedures. To get food stamps, housing vouchers, or cash aid, you must navigate a Soviet-grade bureaucratic system of Kafkaesque proportions. Indeed, one of the great ironies of the post-Cold War world is that the USA has become a “Utopia Of Rules” (as David Graeber put it), subjecting everyday people to the state-run bureacracies that the USAUSAUSA set endlessly ridiculed the USSR for:

https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/

(The right says it wants to “shrink the US government until fits in a bathtub — and then drown it” — but not the whole government. They want unlimited government bloat for that part of the state that is dedicated to tormenting benefits claimants, especially if its functions are managed by a Beltway Bandit profiteer who bills Uncle Sucker up the wazoo for rubber-stamping “DENIED” on every claim.)

The US benefits system has a sophisticated, expensive, fully staffed anti-fraud system — but it’s a highly selective form of anti-fraud. The system is oriented solely to prevent fraud against itself, with no thought to protecting benefits recipients themselves from fraud.

And those recipients — by definition the poorest and most vulnerable among us — are easy pickings for continuous, ghastly, eye-watering acts of fraud. These benefits are distributed via prepaid debit cards — EBT Cards — that lack the basic security measures that every other kind of card has had for years. These are simple magstripe cards, lacking basic chip-and-pin defenses, to say nothing of contactless countermeasures.

That means that fraudsters can — and do — install skimmers in the point-of-sale terminals used by benefits recipients to withdraw their cash benefits, pay for food using SNAP (AKA Food Stamps), and receive other benefits.

It’s impossible to overstate how widespread these skimmers are, and how much money criminals make by stealing from poor people. Writing for Businessweek, Jessica Fu describes the mad scramble benefits recipients go through every month, standing by ATMs at midnight on the night of the first of every month in hopes of withdrawing the cash they use to pay for their rent and utility bills before it is stolen by a crook who captured their card number with a skimmer:

https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2023-06-28/ebt-theft-takes-millions-of-dollars-from-the-neediest-americans

One of Fu’s sources, Lexisnexis Risk Solutions’s Haywood Talcove, describes these EBT cards as having the security of a “glorified hotel room key.” He recounts how US police departments saw a massive explosion in EBT skimming: from 300 complaints in January 2022 to 18,000 in January 2023.

The skimmer rings are extremely well organized. The people who install the skimmers — working in pairs, with one person to distract the cashier while the other quickly installs the skimmer — don’t know who they work for. Neither do the people who use cards cloned from skimmer data to cash out benefits recipients’ accounts. When they are arrested, they refuse to turn on their immediate recruiters, fearing reprisals against their families.

These low-level crooks stroll up to ATMs and feed a succession of cloned cards into them, emptying account after account. Or they swipe cards at grocery checkouts, buying cases of Red Bull and other easily sold grocery products with some victim’s entire SNAP balance.

Some police agencies are pursuing these criminal gangs and trying figure out who’s running them, but the authorities who issue SNAP cards are doing little to nothing to stop the pipeline at their end. Simply upgrading SNAP terminals to chip-and-pin would exponentially raise the cost and complexity that thieves incur.

Indeed, that’s why every other kind of payment card uses these systems. How is it that these systems were upgraded, while SNAP cards remain in mired in 20th century “glorified hotel room key” territory? Well, as our friends on the right never cease to remind us: “incentives matter.”

When your credit card gets cloned, it’s your banks and credit card company that pays for the losses, not you. So the banks demanded (and funded) the upgrade to new anti-fraud measures. By contrast, most states have no system for refunding stolen benefits to skimmers’ victims.

In other words, all of the anti-fraud in the benefits system is devoted to catching benefits cheating — a phenomenon that is so rare as to be almost nonexistent (1.54%), notwithstanding right wingers’ fevered, Reagan-era folktales about “welfare queens”:

https://blog.gitnux.com/food-stamp-fraud-statistics/

Meanwhile, the most widespread and costly form of fraud in the benefits system — fraud perpetrated against benefits recipients — is blithely ignored.

Really, it’s worse than that. In deciding to protect the welfare system rather than welfare recipients, we’ve made it vastly harder for benefits claimants who’ve been victimized by fraudsters to remain fed and sheltered. After all, if we made it simple and straightforward for benefits recipients to re-claim money that was stolen from them, we’d make it that much easier to defraud the system.

“Security” is always and forever a matter of securing some specific thing, against some specific risk. In other words, security reflects values — it reveals whose risk matters, and whose doesn’t. For the American benefits system, risks to the system matter. Risks to people don’t.

It’s not just the welfare system that prioritizes its own risks against the people it exists to serve. Think of the systems used to fight drug abuse in clinical settings.

Medical facilities that use or dispense powerful pain-killers have exquisitely tuned, sophisticated, frequently audited security systems to prevent patients from tricking their doctors or pharmacists into administering extra drugs (especially opioids). “Extra” in this case means “more drugs than are strictly necessary to manage pain.”

The rationale for this is only incidentally medical. Someone who gets a little too much painkiller during a medical procedure or an acute pain episode is not at any particular risk of enduring harm — the risks are minor and easily managed (say, by keeping a patient in bed a little longer while they recover from sedation).

The real agenda here is preventing addiction and abuse by addicted people. There’s a genuine problem with opioid abuse, and that problem does have its origins in overprescription. But — crucially — that overprescription wasn’t the result of wimpy patients insisting on endless painkillers until they enslaved themselves to their pills.

Rather, the opioid epidemic has its origins in the billionaire Sackler crime family, whose Purdue Pharma used scientific fraud, cash incentives, and other deceptive practices to trick, coerce, or bribe doctors into systematically overprescribing their Oxycontin cash cow, even as they laundered their reputation with showy charitable donations:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/07/12/monopolist-solidarity/#sacklers-billions

The Sacklers got to keep their billions — and people undergoing painful medical procedures or living with chronic pain are left holding the bag, subject to tight pain-med controls that forces them to prove — through increasingly stringent systems — that they truly deserve their medicine.

In other words, the beneficiary of the opioid control system is the system itself — not the patients who need opioids.

There’s an extremely disturbing — even nightmarish — example of this in the news: the Yale Fertility Clinic, where hundreds of women endured unimaginably painful egg harvesting procedures with no anaesthesia at all.

These women had complained for years about the pain they suffered, and many had ended up needing emergency care after the fact because of traumatic injuries caused by undergoing the procedure without pain control. But the doctors and nurses at the Yale clinic ignored their screams of pain and their post-operative complaints.

It turned out that an opioid-addicted nurse had been swapping the fentanyl in the drug cabinet for saline, and taking the fentanyl home for her own use.

This made national headlines at the time, and it is the subject of “The Retrievals,” a new New York Times documentary series podcast:

https://www.nytimes.com/2023/06/22/podcasts/serial-the-retrievals-yale-fertility-clinic.html

If the pain medication management system was designed to manage pain, then these thefts would have been discovered early on. If the system was designed so that anyone who experienced pain was treated until the pain was under control, the deception would have been uncovered almost immediately.

As Stafford Beer said, “the purpose of any system is what it does.” The pain medication management system was designed to manage pain medication, not pain itself.

The system was designed to be secure from opioid-seeking addicted patients. It was not designed to make patients secure from pain. Its values — our values, as a society — were revealed through its workings.

If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this thread to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/13/whose-security/#for-me-not-thee

[Image ID: A down-the-barrel view of a massive, battleship-gray artillery piece protruding from the brick battlement of a fortress. From the black depths of the barrel shines a red neon 'EBT' sign.]

Image: Bjarne Henning Kvaale (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Oscarsborg_28cm_Krupp_cannon_4_-_panoramio.jpg

CC BY-SA 3.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en

[moonlightspencie]

you’re a bandit like me

Part 5 of ‘the sweetest con’

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x fem!Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

<- PART FOUR

“Where do you want me?” she asked, looking at me with wide eyes. 

I floundered for a moment, then cleared my throat. 

“You can stay and observe the interrogation. I’ll need a pair of eyes on the other side,” I managed to get out, embarrassed by the slip up. 

She didn’t seem to notice. 

“Okay,” she nodded, then moved closer with a smirk, shoulder brushing against mine, “You don’t trust Mr. Police Chief either, huh?”

I snorted. “Sometimes the level of professionalism I have to show is exhausting. That’s all I’ll say on the matter.”

She laughed, not moving away. I took in a deep breath, looking ahead through the two-way mirror at the suspect. He was starting to get fidgety. 

“I think he’ll be easy,” she said, voicing my thoughts. “He’s already kind of freaking out.”

“He is. Another minute, then I’ll start in.”

“If anyone can get this guy to crack in a minute or less it’s you,” she noted with a chuckle. 

I raised a brow, looking at her. “What’s that supposed to mean?” 

“Dude definitely doesn’t want to be challenged. You’ll throw off the balance he wants to keep by being the most dominant person in the room.”

I hummed, not sure how to respond to that in the right way. My silence didn’t stop her from going on. 

“Plus,” she added, “You totally embody the agent vibe better than anyone on the team, and that alone freaks people out.” 

“It does?”

“In the best way,” she said with a smile. 

The door to the observation room opened, and she took a step away from me as the police chief walked in. I decided that would be the right time for me to enter the interrogation room, though not without the wishes of luck from her first. 

“Good afternoon,” I greeted the suspect. 

He stared at me, his eyes set hard and angry. I saw his jaw clench as his fists did the same. Sweat was appearing on his forehead, and his breathing had begun to increase as I walked up to the table and sat down. 

“I’d like to talk about Jessica Davis,” I said after a beat of looking through the files. “You knew her.”

“And?” he asked, voice gruff. 

“She’s dead, and we have eye witness reports that you were harassing her at the bar the night before her body was found.”

He scoffed. “You have a screwed up definition of harassment.”

“You made several unwanted advances.”

“You act like she didn’t love the attention.”

I looked at him, setting my brow. He stared back, only getting angrier as I stated the information. That would be my in. 

“Do you really think a woman like Jessica would want attention from someone like you?”

His face reddened. “Every woman wants someone like me.”

“Did Katie Owens? Or Carrie Santiago?” I raised a brow. “Because we also have accounts of those women repeatedly turning you down as well.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he gritted out. 

I smirked, shaking my head. “Maybe you’re right. Maybe every woman in this town would actually love to be involved with an unemployed forty-year-old who lives in a shoe box apartment. I can imagine they fall at your feet. Right?”

“They wanted it,” his voice raised. “I’m a god in this town.”

“Maybe when you were a high school  football star. What exactly have you accomplished since then?” 

He slammed his hands on the table. “They were lucky to go home with me.”

“If you’re going to lie, at least try to make it believable. There’s no way they went home with you,” I said, purposely dismissive. 

“They did,” his voice raised again, “They wanted every second of it.”

“Every second of what?” I asked quickly, matching his tone and volume. 

“All of it.”

“All of what, Kevin? Your matchbox car collection?”

“They had a great time, and when I was done with them—“

“As if you’d get that far,” I interrupted. 

“Their last seconds with me were the happiest of their lives. They should feel honored that I was the last thing they ever saw,” he yelled out. 

I stared, letting his confession sink in. The red in his face remained, though he shrunk into his seat, eyes wildly searching the room. 

“No. I didn’t mean that,” he muttered. 

“You said it. That’s it,” I replied calmly, standing. “You’re no longer a god. You won’t be taking any more lives.”

“No.”

With that, I left. I opened the door to the eyes of both of the onlookers glued to me. 

“Holy narcissism, Batman,” she said, a slight smile on her face. “Talk about a god complex.”

“You were spot on with that assessment,” I said back, matching her facial expression. 

“How’d you know?” the chief asked, confusion on his face. 

“As I told you, the profile works,” I replied, glad to be able to politely put him in his place.

He nodded, looking away before he exited the room. She watched me the whole time, relishing with me in the fact that he was a little bit defeated by the accuracy of the profile. 

“By the way,” she started. “That was like almost three minutes. I think you’re losing your touch.”

I scoffed a laugh. “I’d like to see you do it.”

“On second thought, you did great,” she said after a beat, a smile on her face again. 

We walked out the precinct that day feeling triumphant, and, luckily for me, seeming to have forgotten about the thing I’d said a few nights ago that almost sounded like a confession. She thought I was great in interrogation for getting answers so quickly when all she had to do to have me spilling out words was ask one question. 

I was beginning to see that we were more similar than either of us had realized. 

We sat on the jet in silence. I started on paperwork, and she sat across from me, staying up against my wishes just to keep me company as the others slept. 

“What’s on your mind? I know you can read faster than that,” she stated, lounging in her seat. 

I glanced up, not answering as I looked back to the papers. 

She leaned forward, taking them from me before I could protest. She stared at me with an expectant look, very amused with her own actions. 

I sighed. “Why does something have to be on my mind? Maybe I just zoned out.”

“You don’t zone out. That brain of yours is always running, I’m sure of it.”

I chuckled, sitting back. “How do you know?”

“I know everything,” she said with a shrug. 

“Really?”

“Really.”

“Then what am I thinking about? If you know everything.”

She stared for a moment. “Probably Jack. I’m sure you miss him and want to see him.”

“That’s part of it.”

“The other part is,” she started, then trailed, waiting a beat, “you’re really in the mood for the Mexican place by my apartment.”

I raised a brow. “I’ve never eaten there.”

“Okay, that might be my stomach speaking for me,” she admitted, laughing as she placed the papers back on the table between us. “I think if you had eaten there, you’d be thinking about it.”

“I’ll have to try it sometime.”

I started reaching for my work, but was quickly interrupted again as she spoke. 

“How about tonight? It’s open till midnight, and it’s only nine now.”

My eyes flitted back up to see her, though I didn’t yet have a response. 

“If you like tacos, of course,” she added.

The ghost of a smirk came to my face. “I do.” 

“Great!” she said, straightening up. “That’ll satisfy my craving, and help keep you out of the house or the office.” 

I scoffed humorously. “Ouch.”

“Come on, it’ll be good for you.”

“Maybe,” I admitted. 

“When we touch down, I’ll allow half an hour for whatever you’ve got to do. Then, we are getting out of there,” she said with a smile, standing. “Tea?” 

“Please. The gr—“

“Green tea with a spoonful of honey. I know,” she finished the request for me with a light laugh, then walked away to get our mugs.

NEXT PART ->

—————

the sweetest con taglist:

@evee87 @spottedzebrasinpartyhats

aaron hotchner general taglist:

@mrs-ssa-hotch

[earthseed]

on losing elders

Whale Rider (2002), dir. Niki Caro // Crying In H Mart (2021), Michelle Zauner // Daughters of the Dust (1991), dir. Julie Dash // Muttererde (2018), dir. Jessica Lauren Elizabeth Taylor // The Burial of Kojo (2018), dir. Blitz Bazawule // Crying In H Mart (2021), Michelle Zauner // The Farewell (2019), dir. Lulu Wang // Black Indian (2019), Shonda Buchanan // Bandits (1997), dir. Katja von Garnier

[weeb-polls-with-pip]

Morally Questionable Anime Milfs Side A Round 1 Match 10

Propaganda:

Natsuhi -

"Her relationship with her daughter Jessica is strained. Natsuhi is very focused on dignity and propriety, while Jessica is laid back and a bit of a tomboy. She's constantly criticising how Jessica talks and act as insufficiently ladylike. Even without that and the tension, the two of them know there's a gap between them, and there's some touching scenes where they try to connect and show affection for each other (like the scorpion pendant scene).

Natsuhi feels a huge weight on herself as wife of the heir to the Ushiromiya fortune. She takes every imperfection personally, as a reflection of her own failure as a mother, housewife, and manager. She's keenly aware of her status as an outsider even in her own home (they make her sit at the foot of the table, below her niece and nephews, because she's only married in to the family) and feels she can't afford to make any mistakes. As I said before, part of this comes out in strictness with Jessica but she's also mean to Shannon, the maid, verbally abusing her for minor slip-ups like the tea taking too long.

Going further into her misdeeds and moral ambiguity would start getting into spoilers. I will say she is at least complicit in financial fraud. I'm also not going to link any of the fanservice art or omakes but suffice to say there are a lot of people thirsty for Natsuhi out there."

Dadan -

"Dadan is a mountain bandit who fights with a huge axe. She did not want to be a mother of three (she took in Ace n Luffy because their grandfather (a marine vice admiral) threatened to arrest her if she didn't, then the kids adopted another brother), but she came to care about her sons a lot. She even risked her life and ran into a huge fire to save her kids. Also, it was really hot of her to beat up Garp (the marine grandpa) for letting Ace be executed."

[catparent94]

For Reference Purposes for who is in which episode of ROTTMNT

Hello. I have been looking to see which characters are in which episode of ROTTMNT in a short-list. And I could not find it. So I decided to make this list to maybe help someone else who might benefit from it. And also I tried to put who the main focus is of an episode if it applies. So hopefully this can help someone. And if I missed anyone or the placement is incorrect, please leave a comment so it can be more accurate.

Episode List of Characters in them

A little Chart for how I named the main 6 so it is easier to know what it means

Donnie or D

Leo or L

Mikey or M

Raph or R

April or A

Splinter or S

Season 1

1. Mystic Mayhem

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S, Mayhem

Antagonist:

Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Guardsmen: Freki and Garm

Random person: Stewart

2a. Origami Tsunami

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Minor Character of Main Cast: A, S

Neutral: Salami Ninja

Things mentioned: Spine Breaking Bandits, Island Mangler

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Origami Ninja, Large Origami Ninja

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Mobster #1, Mobster #2

2b. Donnie's Gifts

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R

Antagonist: Meat Sweats

Neutral: Mutant Silverfish, Oozesquito

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Kondescending Kitchen Cameraman, Kondescending Kitchen Contestant

3a. War and Pizza

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist: Albearto

President Pepperoni, Robotic Vole, Cheery Tomato

Neutral: April’s Manager

Neutral Characters that are minor characters: Birthday Boy, Claw Machine Kid, Helmet Kid, Nine Year-Old Girl, Party Kid

3b. Newsworthy

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R

Antagonist:

Introduction: Warren Stone, Hypno-Potamus or (Mezmer-ron)

Animal character mentioned and only in flashback: Doug the Hippo

Neutral: Carly Balmaceda, Clem

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Flashback only Villains: Bowling Pin Creatures, Robot

New York Police Department (debut)

Oozesquitoes

4a. Repo Mantis- Mainly Donni and Mikey Episode

Main Protagonists: D, M

Allie and Introduction: Todd Capybara

Antagonist and Introduction: Repo Mantis

Animal: Nubbins- Repo’s cat turned Mantis

Todd Puppies: Melvin, Miho, Willis

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Man Shopper (debut)

4b. Down with the Sickness

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Narrator

5a. The Fast and the Furriest- Donnie and Splinter episode but more everyone

Main Protagonists: D,  L, M, R, A, S, Mayhem

Antagonist: Meat Sweats

Mutant animals in Meat Sweats' possession

Mutant spitting cobra

Introduction and Nuetral: Señor Hueso

5b. Mascot Melee

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist of Cockroach Mutants in Costumes: Atomic Lass, Joey the Junkyard Dog, Sergeant Woodpecker, Robot Vampire

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Timmy (cameo), Tourist

6a. Shell in a Cell

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Neutral: Jessica Jaclyn, Annihilation

Neutral but group: The Liberty League

Antagonist: Ghostbear

6b. Minotaur Maze- Mainly Leo centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Brick Oven Creature, Cheese Grater Creature, Minotaur, Rolling Pin Creature, Pizza Cutter Creature

Neutral:  Señor Hueso

7. Bug Busters

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Draxum, Big Mama, Muninn, Huginn

Background Character: Stanley (Bullhop)

Big Mama things

Battle Nexus arena clown

Battle Nexus competitors

Kelb tal-Fenek Yōkai gladiator, Lizard Yōkai gladiator, Boar Yōkai gladiator

Big Mama's hotel staff

Laundry Yōkai

Yōkai bellhops:

Bird bellhop, Fox bellhop, Frog bellhop, Indian rhinoceros bellhop, Lion bellhop, Lizard bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl bellhop, Water buffalo bellhop

Yōkai custodians:

Ape custodian, Badger custodian, Cat custodian, Lobster custodian

Octopus elevator operator

Gus

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Oozesquitoes

Atomic Lass (image only), Clem (cameo; image only), Hypno-Potamus (image only), Meat Sweats (image only), Mutant silverfish (image only), Repo Mantis (image only), Stewart (cameo), Todd Capybara (image only)

8a. The Longest Fight

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Foot Antagonist: Foot Clan, Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Origami Ninja

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Announcer, Carly Balmaceda, Ice Cube Tray Advertiser (debut), Sydney Allen (debut)

8b. Hypno! Part Deux- April, Raph, and Leo Centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, R, A, Mayhem

Antagonist: Hypno

Neutral: Taylor Martin, Dale, Noah Sheck, Siegel

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

 Boy #1, Carly Balmaceda, Girl #1 (debut)

9a. The Gumbus- Involves Mikey, Leo, and April Centric

Main Protagonists: L, M, A

Antagonist: Baxter Stockboy

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Mr. Stockboy (debut), Mrs. Stockboy

President Pepperoni (cameo; image only)

9b. Mrs. Cuddles- Raph Centric Episode with the brothers

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Mrs. Cuddles

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Astronaut (debut)

10a. Stuck on You- Raph Centric Episode and brothers

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute

Other Antagonists: Hypno, Warren Stone, Silverfish

Mentioned Doug the Hippo

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

First Witch (debut)

10b. Al Be Back

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Albearto

Al-Beardo the Pirate, Bayou 'Bearto, Chef Albéar, Otto von Bearto, Albearto Land Robots

Neutral for Episode: Baxter Stockboy

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Cheery Tomato (cameo), Manager, President Pepperoni, Tanya Melendez (debut)

11a. The Purple Jacket- Mainly Donnie Centric with April there

Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist: Purple Dragons

Jason, Jeremy, Kendra

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Carly Balmaceda, New York Police Department

11b. Pizza Pit

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Band: DIGG

Groundhog, Honey Badger, Prairie Dog

Pizza Owners: Pizza Lou, Pizza Mike, Pizza Toney, Pizza Tony

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Bigfoot (debut) (image only), Loch Ness Monster (debut) (image only), Pizzasaurus (debut)

12a. Smart Lair- Shelldon Introduction

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Introduction: Shelldon

12b. Hot Soup: The Game- Mikey and Raph Centric

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute

Introduction: Cassandra

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Boss Level Guy

Tang Shen (image only), Video Game Commercial Thugs, Voiceover Guy

13. The Evil League of Mutants

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Ally: Todd

Antagonist: Evil League of Mutants

Draxum, Meat Sweats, Hypno, Repo Mantis, Warren Stone, Carl and Ben (Sandro brothers), Muninn, Huginn

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Origami Ninja

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Big Mama's assistant (debut) (mutates in flashback)

Radisson Hotel Bellhop (debut)

JJG -Reporter

14a. Late Fee

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Mutant Silverfish, Ghostbear

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Conductor, Director, Ferry Captain, Trash Wizard

14b. Bullhop

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Big Mama

Big Mama Yōkai bellhops

Fox bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl bellhop

Yōkai waiter

Minor Character Protagonist: Stanley (Bullhop)

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

DIGG (cameo)

Groundhog, Honey Badger, Prairie Dog

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Oozesquitoes (flashback only)

Partygoer (Dave Foley) (debut)

15a. Mind Meld- Donnie centric with brothers there

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Protagonist: Shelldon

Neutral: Silverfish

Antagonist even though does not show up: Kendra, Purple Dragons

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

April O'Neil (image only), Mayhem (image only), Warren Stone (image only) (flashback only)

15b. Nothing But Truffle- Meat Sweats, Mikey, and Todd Episode

Main Protagonists: M, Todd, Mind Raph

Antagonist: Meat Sweats, Were-Tree

Neutral: Silverfish

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Mrs. Cuddles (image only), Todd's puppies (cameo)

16. Shadow of Evil

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Foot Antagonist:

Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Foot Soldiers, Origami Ninja

More a little separated from Foot but with Foot at moment

Draxum, Huginn, Muninn

Antagonist Animals: Mutant magpie (Bird), Oozesquito

Possible future antagonist: The Shredder (flashback only)

Hamato Ancestors

Hamato Karai (Flashback only)

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Krystal Yistal (debut) (flashback only)

Teen Customer

17a. Portal Jacked!- Leo Centric with Hueso- Leo Centric with Hueso

Protagonists in Episode: L

Protagonists in episode but not main focus for episode: D, M, R

Neutral: Señor Hueso,

Antagonist: Capitán Piel, Kraken Pirate, Mermaid Pirate, Sea Serpent Pirate, Singing Pirates, Yōkai Pirate

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Hidden City Police (debut)

Hidden City Police #1, Hidden City Police #2

Hueso, Jr. (image only), Todd Capybara (image only), Yōkai Granny

17b. Warren & Hypno, Sitting in a Tree- April and Draxum centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist: Draxum, Hypno, Warren Stone, Muninn, Huginn

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Carly Balamceda (cameo; image only)

JJG (cameo; image only), Tendril creature (debut)

18a. Operation: Normal- Donnie and Leo Centric and April is there 

Main Protagonists: D, L, M only mentioned, A, Mayhem

New Ally character: Sunita

Antagonist: Cassandra, Foot Brute

Meat Sweats only mentioned

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Biology Teacher

Cindy, Cindy's Father, Cindy’s Mother (debut)

Exploding Frankie (Eric Bauza) (debut)

Flashback: Huginn, Mayhem, Muninn

Pizza Creatures, Trash Wizard, Waiter

18b. Sparring Partner- Franken-Foot and Raph Centric

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R

New Ally: Franken-Foot 

Antagonist: Cassandra, Foot Lieutenant, Cassandra, Origami Ninja

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Lou Jitsu (cameo)

19a. You Got Served- Leo and Mikey Centric

Main Protagonists: L, M

Neutral: Señor Hueso

Antagonist:

Makers of Brutality

Boss Beverly, Ogre 1, Ogre 2

Masters of Barbarianism Boss

Bruce, Snake 1, Snake 2

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Tentacle-Eyeball Yōkai, Unicorns (debut)

19b. How to Make Enemies and Bend People to Your Will- Draxum Centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Cassandra, Foot Initiate, Foot Initiator, Foot Soldiers

Antagonist that work with Foot but not necessarily Loyal to it: Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Golem- Created by Draxum

Separate Villain: Stinkbomb (Harold)

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Customer 1, Customer 2

Female barista, Male barista

20a. Mystic Library

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, Mayhem

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Tiny Origami Ninja

Antagonist but not necessarily bad Person: Bat Librarian, Hush-Bats

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Yōkai Kids

20b. The Purple Game- Donnie Centric

Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, Mayhem

Main Protagonist: Shelldon

Antagonist:

Purple Dragons: Jason, Jeremy, Kendra

Giant Mech- Created by Purple Dragons

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Mrs. O'Neil (debut) (cameo)

Game voice of game (Eugene Byrd) (debut), New York Police Department, Plush dolls (Greg Cipes) (debut), Timmy (image only), YPS deliveryman (debut)

21a. Man VS. Sewer- Raph Centric Episode

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Sandro Brothers – Ben and Carl

21b. The Mutant Menace

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist:

Baxter Stockboy

Micro-Bots- Created by Baxter Stockboy

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Angry New Yorkers, Man Shopper, New York Police Department, Cop, Sunny Chipperton, Trash Wizard

22a. Turtle-Dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man- Splinter, Donnie and Mikey Centric

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Big Mama, Meat Sweats, Repo Mantis, Warren Stone, Hypno

Yōkai Bellhops

Fox bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl Bellhop, Penguin bellhop,

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Cute Yōkai- Cat mutant

22b. The Ancient Art of Ninja Hide and Seek

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Big Mama, Gus

Yōkai hellphops

Fox bellhop, Otter bellhop, Owl bellhop

Battle Nexus Announcer (debut)

Big Mama (cameo)

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Kid Cthulhu (debut)

Lizard Yōkai, Server Yōkai, Tentacle Yōkai

23a. One Man's Junk- Raph Centric Episode but all brothers are involved

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R,

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute,

Regular Antagonist: Repo Mantis

Animals: Mrs. Nubbins (mutates in flashback)

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Green Yōkai

Image Only: Hypno, Warren Stone

Oozesquito (flashback only)

Short Yōkai

23b. Snow Day

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, Mayhem

Antagonist: Ghostbear, Oozesquito

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Splinter (cameo)

Background: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute

24a. Cloak and Swaggart- Sunita and April Episode

Main Protagonists for the Episode: Sunita and A

Main characters in episode but not central focus: D, L, M, R, S

Antagonist: Meat Sweats

Neutral but contribute-ish to the plot: Loose Lips Malinowski

Shelldon

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

BBQ Host 1, BBQ Host 2

Cooking Show Host

DIGG

Groundhog, Honey Badger, Prairie Dog

Director at Channel 6

Guy Flambé (debut)

Late Night Show Guest, Late Night Show Host, Painting Show Host, Security Guard, TV Station Employee

Mrs. Cuddles (cameo)

24b. Jupiter Jim Ahoy! 

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, S

Main Antagonist-ish: Marcus Moncrief who thought he was Jupiter Jim

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Images only: Ghostbear, Annihilation, Jessica Jaclyn

Goon 1, Red Fox Cosplayer

25. Insane in the Mama Train

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S

Hamato Ancestors: Hamato Clan Ancestors, Mystic Aura

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Cassandra, Foot Soldiers

Just working with the Foot but not necessarily completely loyal: Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Antagonist: Big Mama

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Bandaged Yōkai, Screaming Yōkai, Tax Yōkai, Train announcer

Guardsmen

Freki, Garm

26. End Game

Main Protagonists: D, L, M, R, A, S, Mayhem

Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder (resurrection), Origami Ninja

Just working with the Foot but not necessarily completely loyal: Draxum, Muninn, Huginn

Ally: Stanley (Bullhop), Shelldon, Franken-Foot, Todd

Hamato Ancestors: Hamato Clan Ancestors, Mystic Aura

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Baseball stadium announcer (debut)

Flashback only but Debut: Council of Heads

Councilor 1, Councilor 2, Councilor 3

Country singer (debut)

Season 2

1. Many Unhappy Returns

Main Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Foot Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder, Cassandra

Not necessarily Loyal to the Foot but working with them: Draxum

Antagonist: Big Mama

Big Mama Staff

Big Mama's assistant, Big Mama's soldiers, Fox Bellhop

Big Mama Contestants

Evil Six, Kraken Tom (debut)

The Characters that are there but Don’t contribute to the plot in the episode

Cameo: Albearto, Cheery Tomato, President Pepperoni

New York Police Department

Serge (debut)

2a. Todd Scouts

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, S

Ally: Todd

Antagonists: Tooth Fairies

Dr. Alex Noe, Hunters

2b. Goyles, Goyles, Goyles

Center for this episode: Huginn, Muninn

Meat Sweats- Kind of background character even though he captured Huginn and Muninn

Flashback

Draxum hiring them

Big Mama in episode- Though I think she is only mentioned and there is a cameo

Splinter/Lou Jitsu in flashback

Pictures of Baby Turtles

D, L, M, R

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Gargoyles (debut) (flashback only)

Bro-goyle 1, Bro-goyle 2, Gargoyle, Sarge Goyle

3a. Flushed, but Never Forgotten

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, S

New Character and family?: Piebald

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Minor Character: Franken-Foot, Game Voice

Flashback Only: Trash Wizard

3b. Lair Games- Donnie and Leo Centric

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Minor Character: Shelldon

4a. Breaking Purple- Donnie Centric with Shelldon

Protagonist: D, M, but Splinter just mentioned

Also Shelldon

Characters that Donnie overhears people talking that is important to the plot

Loose Lips Malinowski, Repo Mantis

Antagonist:

Purple Dragons: Jason, Jeremy, Kendra

Neutral Character at Dome place for robots:

Billionaire Guy Eccentric

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Neutral Character for the Episode:  Bat Librarian, Mrs. Cuddles, Baxter Stockboy, Timmy

4b. Repairin' the Baron- Draxum, Raph, and Mikey Centric

Protagonists that are the main focus: M, R,

Protagonist in the episode but not main Focus: D, L, A, S

Antagonist turned Reform: Draxum

Antagonist for Episode:

Guardsmen: Freki, Garm

Councilor of Heads: Councilor 1, Councilor 2, Councilor 3

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

The Shredder (flashback only)

5a. Air Turtle- Leo Centric

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A

Antagonist:  Arch of Aquinnah, Tim Dunkman

Reformed?: Draxum

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Dave

The Daves (debut)- Basketball Team

Daves Player #1, Daves Player #2, Daves Player #3, Daves Player #4, Daves Player #5

Announcer (debut)

The Knights (debut)- Basketball Team

Knights Player #1, Knights Player #2, Knights Player #3, Knights Player #4, Knights Player #5

Player #1, Referee

5b. Pizza Puffs

Protagonist: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Big Mama- captured Meat Sweats, Meat Sweats

Tummytello is a thing

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Guy Flambé, Swedish Baker

6a. Sidekick Ahoy!

Protagonist: D, L, M, R,

Neutral: Jupiter Jim/ Marcus Moncrief, Red Fox

Antagonist: Scor-Pion

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Stagehand (debut)

6b. The Hidden City Job- Leo episode with Hueso and kind of Donnie at the very end

Protagonist: D, L,

Antagonist: Big Mama

Auctioneer (debut), Big Mama's soldiers, Shadow Fiend (cameo)

Ally and former villain now ally: Señor Hueso, Capitán Piel

Combine to make Don Suave

Animal Important: Wild simurgh

7a. Always Be Brownies- April and Casey/Foot Recruit Girl episode

Protagonist: A, S

Antagonist for Episode:

Cassandra

Brownie Clan: Julia, Brownie Girls, CJ Girl

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Timmy (cameo)

7b. Mystery Meat- Mikey, April, and Draxum episode

Protagonist: M, A

Protagonist briefly in episode, but not for that long: R

Reformed?: Draxum

Antagonist but I think Draxum sees it as his child: Sloppy Joseph

Neutral: Vivian Slopworth, Dale

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Lunch Ladies: Lunch Lady Edna, Lunch Lady Gladys, Lunchman Stan

Neutral animals: Mutant silverfish, Oozesquito

Student #1, Student #2

8a. Raph's Ride-Along- Raph Centric

Protagonist: R

Antagonist:

Big Mama

Big Mama's assistant

Mud Dogs

Dastardly Danny, Loathsome Leonard, Malicious Mickey

Separated from Mud Dogs: Heinous Green

Hidden City Police

Guardsman 1, Guardsman 2

Minor Characters that are made of the main cast: D, A, L, M,S

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Cameo’s: Cudley the Cowlick, The great Morgan

Villain that only shows up in Picture: Evil Emerald (debut) (image only)

 (cameo)

Yōkai Granny

8b. Donnie vs. Witch Town- April and Donnie Centric

Protagonist: D, A

Witch Town Characters: Gentry, The great Morgan, Mayor Mira, Black Cat Choir, Salem Witch

Minor Characters of Main Cast: L, M, R, S

9a. Hidden City’s Most Wanted- Draxum, Mikey, and Draxum Centric

Protagonist: M, S

Reformed?: Draxum

Minor Characters of the Main Cast: M, D, A, L

Antagonist: Police Officer, Heather, Officer 2

9b. Bad Hair Day- Leo Centric

Protagonist: L

Minor Characters of the Main cast: D, M, R, A, S, Baron Draxum

Antagonist: Yōkai Masseur, Mystic Hair Creature

Neutral: Resort Guard

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Neutral cameo that are there: Mermaid Pirate, Bat Librarian

Greeter (Oliver Vaquer) (debut)

Yōkai Pedicurist

Hidden City Police

Guardsman 1, Guardsman 2

Yōkai Resorter #1, Yōkai Resorter #2, Yōkai Resorter #3, Yōkai Resorter #4

10b. The Clothes Don't Make the Turtle

Protagonist: D, L, M, R,

Antagonist: Hypno

Magician: John (debut)- In it briefly

11. Battle Nexus: New York

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama

Big Mama Contestants only:

Amphisbaena, Cortex, Sprite, Troll

Foot Villains: Cassandra, The Shredder

Very Confused about how to classify these villains: Meat Sweats, Hypno, Carl Sando, Ghostbear

Reformed?: Draxum

Ally: Todd

Characters I do not know what to put in which Category

Sloppy Joseph (cameo)

12a. Finale Part 1: E- Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama

Foot Villains

Cassandra, Foot Brute, Foot Lieutenant, The Shredder

Reformed?: Draxum

Hamato Ancestors:

Flashback only: Hamato Atsuko, Hamato Sho

Hamato Karai (debut)

12b. Finale Part 2: Shreddy or Not

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, Cassandra, The Shredder

Reformed?: Draxum

Shelldon- Death

Hamato Ancestors: Hamato Karai, Hamato Clan Ancestors (cameo)

Ally: Todd

13a. Finale Part 3: Anatawa Hitorijanai

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama, Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder, Cassandra

Reformed?: Draxum

Hamato Ancestors

Hamato Karai, Hamato Clan Ancestors

Cameo: Hamato Atsuko and Hamato Sho ghost, Mystic Aura

Ally: Todd, Golem

13b. Finale Part 4: Rise

Protagonist: D, L, M, R, A, S

Antagonist: Big Mama-but only helps for Lou Jitsu, Foot Lieutenant, Foot Brute, The Shredder

Reformed?: Draxum, Cassandra

Hamato Ancestors

Hamato Karai (ghost), Hamato Clan Ancestors, Hamato Atsuko (ghost)

[chrysalis-the-butterfly]

Jessica: A Poem

Discovering the Jessica Rabbit RP blogs of @aparticularbandit last year has inspired me to start writing again. I did work on a few fanfics as a teenager, but then I fell away from writing, and I'd like to pick it back up. It's my New Year's Resolution for 2024.

So here's a poem about Jessica Rabbit. It's inspired by a brief line from the official Roger Rabbit comics, where Roger casually mentions that he used a butterfly net on Jessica the first time he met her. (And nope, there's no other context given.)

This poem is a first draft, so I welcome constructive criticism.

I’m told I must be seen to be believed,

But I have no control over my image. 

Were I to print a portrait for you here,

That would be called a breach of copyright,

And those who own me now are rich in funds

To buy the finest lawyers in the land. 

So picture, in your mind, a female form,

With legs so long they stretch from Saturday

To Monday like a three-day weekend, and

A body snaking out and in and out,

And topped with orange locks like dampened fire,

And emerald eyes, and plump and pouting lips. 

That’s me.  And that is what I’ve always been,

Since someone dared to stain his fingers red

With paint to drape me in a sequined gown

And panted, breathing on me, giving me

The life and animation he required

To make his films.  Yes, acting is my trade. 

I’ve had another.  It would make you blush. 

Now, I must stress, I had no choice in that. 

I had no interest in the act itself;

It was a job, I did it rather well,

But was it something I looked forward to

With girlish glee?  No, not at all.  Listen,

I did not hate, but neither did I love. 

Those owners told me, “Jump;” I asked, “How high?” 

Those owners told me, “Down;” I asked, “How low?” 

What power did I have to utter, “No”? 

I truly did believe this was my role,

My purpose, yes, the reason I was made:

To be the one that husbands hurried to

Whenever they had need of rough relief. 

I did not ask if I deserved to live

A life where I could choose my own desires,

Could choose where I would go, what I would do –

A life of joy and peace and liberty. 

It was self-evident that I did not. 

I had been drawn, not born, and that made me

A servant to the gracious human beings

Who gave the greatest gift, of life, to us,

The inkblots.  We were servants.  And that was

A fact as clear as day, just like the fact

That one man known colloquially as “Pope”

Was Catholic.  So I sank into my pit,

The lowest of already lowly folk. 

What pulled me out and finally set me free? 

A butterfly net.  No, I’m serious. 

One day I took a walk into the woods,

And it was spring, and flowers carpeted

The forest floor, and I was passing time

Until the night came, when I would be needed. 

I thought I heard the slaps of massive feet –

Then something like a stick wacked into me. 

The impact knocked me backwards into mesh. 

I sat there, tangled, reeling from the blow,

And then I heard a voice above my head:

“Jeepers!  So sorry, miss!  I’ll let you out! 

See, I was aiming for this butterfly –

I didn’t see you there!”  I had to laugh. 

That was the first time I had ever laughed. 

How could I not have laughed?  How could he not

Have seen me?  How?  I never could escape

The leering eyes and lolling tongues of men. 

Surely this fellow was a fellow too? 

Then why would he be any different?  Well,

I dug a high heel in and cut the net,

And then I stood and shook the ropes away,

And turned, and I beheld my captor – and

I realised I towered over him. 

He was a creature made of ink and paint,

As I was, only he was hairier

And shorter, and his clothes were like a clown’s. 

His eyes and ears and nose were larger, too. 

He trembled in my shadow, looking up,

Expecting me to fly into a rage

And beat him till his snow-white hair turned red. 

Instead, I simply asked, “Are you all right?” 

That must have been a welcome change for him. 

We painted ones see little kindness from

The humans who created us, the ones

Who ought to love us dearly, but do not,

So we must give each other kindness.  Well,

That’s how I’ve tried to live my life, although

Few people tend to want my company

(Unless they’re paying for my services),

Not even other painted slaves.  After

I asked this fellow if he was all right,

The man exhaled, apologised again,

And asked me who I was, and where I worked,

And how I found myself within the woods. 

I answered, and I asked him questions too. 

We almost could have stayed a thousand years,

Among the daisies, asking, answering,

But all too soon, the Sun was lowering;

I had to go; he promised he would meet

With me again.  He kept his word.  He came

To find me just outside the studio

And asked me what I’d like to do that day –

The first time anyone gave me a choice. 

We spent two years in pleasant company,

And then, one summer’s day, we tied the knot. 

I strode into the chapel, dressed in white,

And my eyes found his, and they never left. 

We’re still a wife and husband.  No-one thought

That we would last this long.  How could a dame

With beauty such as mine dote on a fool? 

What do I see in him?  He treats me well;

He buys me candy in a heart-shaped box

And takes me to the finest restaurants

He can afford – and I buy gifts for him,

Usually clothes, because he always rips

The ones he has.  I love the way his face

Lights up when he unwraps them, tries them on. 

What do I see in him?  He writes to me –

He sends me letters when he’s called away,

Composes poems of love when he is near. 

We call each other many silly names. 

And when the weekend comes, the kitchen is

The place we spend most time, as we attempt

New recipes for different kinds of cake. 

(My favourite kind is still the carrot cake. 

He’s told me carrot is his favourite, too.) 

What does he see in me?  I dare not ask,

For fear that I will break the magic spell

That’s binding us together.  So instead,

I sit, and run my fingers through his hair. 

What do I see in him?  Quite simply, he

Was, and still is, the only man who tried

To find out who I was, and love that dame,

Instead of thinking he knew all of me

Based only on my looks, and judging me. 

What do I see in him? 

He makes me laugh. 

[aparticularbandit]

Okay but the idea of Toon Junko who would desperately love to Default because the Despair but can't Default because a Default Junko Enoshima would actually try to real life Tragedy and her Awakened state literally cannot do that or allow herself to do that (in the same way that a Toon of Jessica's Purpose is required to be Awakened from Default to have certain rules forced into her understanding so that even in Default she won't break them - only let's be real, a Default Junko wouldn't care)—

Man, I should play around with the Timeline because like. Toon Junko getting wrapped up with the Toon Rights Activists over in ToonTown USA because she's still Death Seeker Junko and with her Ultimate Analyst ability maybe she can help them get what they're looking for so that she can get what SHE is looking for.

....

Toon Junko Enoshima as actually the first to be transformed by the Genie but being kept locked up by the TRA because what if they need her for something else (they do, when their plan doesn't go the way they want), what if she talks too much.

It's a new form of Despair, so she doesn't hate it, but it does get boring after a while.

(Junko fitting into place like a missing puzzle piece if this wasn't TEN YEARS OFF.)

[tekksaviek]

B l u e b e r r y E m p i r e

[pastel-pandoll]

Characters that are not Cis cause I said so:

Kyle/Transmasc (FBACC)

Yo and Sigmund/Transfem (FBACC)

Chum Chum/Bigender (FBACC)

Last Chance/Transmasc (Kitty is not a cat)

Thorn/Transfem (Kitty is not a cat)

Timmy Tom/Non Binary (Kitty is not a cat)

Regina George/Transfem (Mean girls)

Bandit and Bluey/Transmasc and Transfem Father-Daughter Duo! (Bluey)

Mackenzie/Non Binary (Bluey)

Marvin the Martian/Non Binary (Looney tunes)

Glamrock Freddy/Transmasc (Fnaf)

Mangle/Bigender (Fnaf)

Heather Duke/Transfem (Heathers) (Never shut up again is her coming out song :3c)

Flaky/Non Binary Transfem (She/they) (HTF)

Cuddles/Genderfluid (HTF)

Jessica and Roger Rabbit/T4T couple (WFRR)

Miguel/Transfem (RBUK)

Athena/Non Binary (She/They) (RBUK)

Wakko/Non Binary (Animaniacs)

Dot/Transfem (Animaniacs)

Literally almost everyone in Jellystone LMAO

Jax/Transmasc (Digital Circus)

Iggy/Non Binary (Koopalings)

[underestimated-heroine]

There are a lot of characters--particularly characters gifted in the art/skill of hand-to-hand combat--who fall into what i call the "Inigo Montoya" problem where a lot of people debate whether or not they're smart and end up in small-stakes yet irreconcilable discourse wars, because "they are smart" and "they are dumb" are, in fact, both correct statements about the character.

Inigo explicitly (and accurately) points out that he is not intelligent: "I need Vizzini to plan; I have no gift for strategy."

He does not understand the politics of their plan, needs parts of their plan re-explained to him (multiple times, if Vizzini's griping is anything to go by), and frequently drinks himself into even deeper stupidity.

But what we cannot forget is that Vizzini also needed Inigo. Because while Vizzini had a high IQ and was strategically gifted, he couldn't fight. The ability to win a physical fight does not just require athletic skill. The ability to fight well also requires tactical intelligence

"Tactics and strategy? I thought they were the same thing," Kel commented. Neal shook his head, a comma of hair flipping into his eyes. Kel longed to touch it but kept her hands locked behind her. "Tactics, my dear girl, is what you did with those bandits. It's immediate planning for the immediate problem. Strategy is the long view, the movement of armies and a plan that covers an entire battle or war." - Tamora Pierce, Page

Without the intelligence to judge when to move closer to or further from his opponent, change ground, retreat, attack, or even do something as small and quick as parry or feint, Inigo couldn't be a swordsmen of such a high caliber.

Of course, I am applying a pretty strong lens to a character from a book/film whose themes don't really have to do with the technicalities of fighting, but then again neither do most of the characters who wind up centered in these sorts of discussions. Besides, I think Goldman (and the movie made from his book) kept his character in line with someone who has the spatial awareness (Inigo was the one that noticed the ship following them) and dynamic cleverness--

"Inconceivable!" "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

--of someone gifted in moment-to-moment mental and physical adaptability.

In the words of Jessica Page Morrell:

"It's simple, really. Fictional characters are bigger than life, bigger than death; they say what we dare not say in real life, jump higher, run faster, make love more often, and also usually mess up more than we do in the real world." (from Thanks, But This Isn't For Us)

Unlike real people, characters are emblematic. Simplified. However, that doesn't mean writers simplify them so much that their intelligence exists only on a dichotomy: "Smart, or dumb?" If that were true, we wouldn't be able to relate to them or their stories at all! Characters, just like real people, are smart in their own way--if the writer is good, anyway.

Not that knowing this will stop this kind of discourse (or that I even want it to actually lol) but I think this is worth remembering, especially if you're a writer.