#ban can dick me down any day

[tonycries]

Girl, I Do This Often

Synopsis. How does he cope with a séx ban? He doesn’t.

Pairings. [SEPARATE] Gojo x Reader, Sukuna x Reader, Choso x Reader, Geto x Reader, Nanami x Reader, Toji x Reader

Content. MDNI, fem! reader, established relationship, rough séx, unprotected, stuff with pantíes, gaggíng, bréeding, Nanami is a bit mean, overstím, finger suckíng, really desperate boys, light smackíng (Nanami), bondagé + víbrators (Geto), swearing.

Word count. 5.2k

A/N. Guess what, ya girl just turned 19 yippeeeee.

♡ TOJI FUSHIGURO - 4 days

On the first day, Toji’s more amused than anything.

A sex ban? With him? Ridiculous, he predicted a full 24 hours before you come crawling back, just begging to be split-apart on his cock. And he tells you so, too - a little over five times as he kisses your pouty lips, muttering a smug, “You’ll be eating your words soon enough, doll.”

By the third day, he’s beginning to think that okay, maybe you were serious about the ban after all. How cute - real cute. 

He’s left to do nothing but complain pathetically on the phone to a very reluctant Shiu. Who doesn’t have much to say other than cut off Toji’s ramblings about “not having your pretty pussy all day” to groan, “Shut the fuck up and beg for her forgiveness. I’m hanging up.”

Toji can only scoff at the thought. Beg for forgiveness? Him? Toji Fushiguro never begs, he never-

That was until the fourth day. 

With you - bent over the kitchen counter in his t-shirt - and nothing but his t-shirt.

“Please, pretty.” Toji drags his lips down your neck, just loving the way your traitorous hips are grinding back into his. “Said m’sorry, right? Don’t ya miss this?”

And you can only look behind your shoulder at the big arms around your waist, muscled thighs pressed up against yours. Angling your head just right to catch the way his hands snake down to your squirming hips to help you draw slow little circles against the rock-hard erection straining against his pants.

So close. So big.

Big enough that you’re almost thinking of throwing this sec ban out of the window altogether - almost.

But that little smirk of Toji’s is infuriating enough that you’re gasping out a breathless little, “I-I’m still mad at you, y’know? You never let me-” The words die in your throat as Toji pulls his pants down just enough for his aching cock to spring free. So angry and painfully hard, leaking hot precum all over your thighs. 

“No no no- hah. Keep talking.” he grits out, breath hot against your ear. Hips pushing and pulling. “Please- keep talking.”

And fuck you didn’t know what was harder - trying to find your voice, or ripping your eyes away from Toji’s cock long enough that you could. 

“B-because you-” you choke out, watching the way he takes his massive cock in his hands. Staring to pump so slow - so lazy - no rhythm or reason other than getting off so filthily to the sound of your voice. “You never let me take-” He wraps your smaller hands around his dick, so hot and heavy in your palms. “-charge.”

“F-fuck-” Toji lets out a low hiss, head thrown back as you thumb teasingly under his sensitive slit, trying to fuck something delicious out. “Yer killin’ me doll. Killing me.” Whether from your words or from the way you’re sliding him so lewdly between your puffy folds, you didn’t know. 

And Toji didn’t either. Hell, he doesn’t even seem to be breathing as he shifts his toned hips so familiarly. Head filled with only you and your heavenly cunt and you. 

“Toji-” you mewl. “Need you so bad.”

If he was any lesser man, Toji would’ve just bullied himself into your dripping cunt already, fucked you into the counter until there was nothing about any sex ban in your pretty lil’ mind. Instead, he’s panting out an absolutely wrecked, “Please. Then take all the charge you want, pretty.”  Fat head lining up with your sloppy hole. “Next time.”

And oh has it really been that long?

Because Toji’s just barely pushing into your plushy walls, and he already feels like he could cum right then and there. The stretch too sinful. Your walls too tight. So cute how you’re already mumbling his name so deliriously. 

“Awww,” he coos, watching awe-struck at the way you flatten your hands on the counter, fucking yourself back into him in short, shallow little grinds. “The s-sex ban was for ah- nothing, huh?”

You’re pulling him impossibly closer by the hair, catching his lips in such a searing kiss. Drinking in Toji’s guttural grunt as you bite down on his lower lip, “Are ya gonna sh-shut up n’ fuck me or do I need ngh- another sex ban?”

“No, ma’am.” he grins, kissing back so mockingly soft. And you know he’s making fun of you with the way he’s twitching so wildly inside your pussy. Veins dragging against all the right spots as he reels his hips back, back, back - only to slam his cock fully inside. “Guess you’re the one mm- in charge right now, huh?”

Over and over again. Fucking you exactly the way he’s wanted these past four days - and then some. 

Hitting your cervix - but it feels like your fucking lungs. Heavy balls smacking against your ass, so hard that he’s sure it’ll leave some obscene marks for him to point out next time. One hand around your throat, the other keeping your slutty, trembling hips in place while you’re torn between running away and bucking back for more more more-

“Right here.”

It’s all you can do to whirl your head around, eyes glassy and unfocused, whining a broken, “Wh-what?” 

“Right…” Trailing down, featherlight, right where he knew he was wrecking your insides. “Here. S’where I belong.” Pressing hard. “N’ m’gonna make sure you don’t forget it.”

♡ NANAMI KENTO - 1 week

A week. One week of being patient with your silly idea to “spice things up”. One week of pretending like he wasn’t excusing himself during important meetings to have his cock in his hands - thinking of nothing but you and that sinful little dress you had on today.

One week was all it took for Nanami to have a bad day at work. And you could tell when he did. 

By the way that front door slammed, unfamiliarly harsh footsteps sounding against the hardwood floors. And all it takes is one look at you laid out so prettily on the couch and Nanami’s mouth drops into a soft oh! 

One hand immediately loosening his tie, the other snaking down to his belt. Ashen, tense, - and you have half the mind to wonder whether he’s even breathing. 

Not even looking at you as he mutters a low, “Panties off. Spread those legs.”

That was a few hours ago. 

Before you knew it, your husband had you splayed out like such a slut for him on the couch - too starved to even think about making it to the bed. Legs on his sculpted shoulders, panties in tatters on the floor because you were taking too fucking long. Cock so angry and sensitive as he bullies into your snug cunt, stuffing you full of his cum.

Again. And again and again like he wanted to fuck any and every thought of that stupid sex ban out of your delirious mind. 

“K-Kento- what-” he pulls you into a bruising kiss. Just a sloppy clash of teeth and spit and hands everywhere. “You’re ngh- different.”

At this, Nanami has the audacity to laugh - laugh. Hips snapping impossibly deeper, “Yeah? N’ who’s fault is hah- that? Who’s fault is it th-that we ended hngh- up like-” Pushing your knees all the way up to your tits, groaning at the mess of cum and slick pooling beneath you. “-this?”

Cock just ramming into you, prominent veins nudging against your gummy walls so agonizingly. The couch creaking in protest as he uses your pretty lil’ cunt exactly the way he’s been fantasizing this past week.

And when all you can do is let out delirious little moans in response, Nanami raises his hand up, up, up. Coming down on your ass, hard. 

Smack!

“Didn’t you know we’d end up here?”

Oh the words hit you harder than that large palm-print stinging your ass. Tight pussy clenching and trying to milk the fucking soul out of him as you sob, “I- I didn’t-” Smack! You’re jolting at the impact, hips bucking wildly as you gasp, “-I did! Wanted this so bad, Kento. I did I did-”

And yeah, Nanami knew that. He knew you’d pulled this little “sex ban” stunt to make him break - to have him fuck you like the slut you are. But hearing the words from your pretty mouth had his balls squeezing so painfully. 

“Knew it.” he manages to grit out. “Knew you were such a slut, my love.” Words strained with each harsh thrust, “N’ as my slut, y-you can ngh- take one more, right?” You keen at how soft his tone was, like he was whispering sweet little nothings to you instead of promises to absolutely break you. Fingers trailing down to draw lewd patterns on your throbbing clit, “Right?”

And as if to prove you could, he’s squeezing his swollen cock harder into your plushy walls. Faster. Unforgiving. Fat, leaking tip hitting all those sweet spots he’s mapped out, in time with his abuse on your clit.

“Didn’t hah- have to lock myself in my office for nothing, right?” Pulling your trembling hips flush against his toned ones, “Have to get by with j-just a pretty picture this week for nothing?” Hips out of control now. Bruising. Almost painful with the stretch and the sheer pressure of being so full. “S’all for this, right?”

Smack! 

“Oh God, Kento- Fuck fuck fuck fuck.”

“Yeah? Feels good?” he nips at your lower lip, “Good enough to fuck- take another one?”

You were sure if he came once more then it might just be the death of you.

You’re not even lucid enough to realize what reaction you’re giving him - all you know is that it isn’t good enough for Nanami. 

Because he lets out a tut, hand dancing across your stomach to where he knew he was absolutely making a mess of you inside. 

“Fine.” And something about the way he says it makes your heart stop, already knowing that it didn’t bode well for you or your poor cunt. “Guess I hafta ngh- help you.” Sure enough, Nanami wastes no time before pushing down on your abdomen. 

The both of you watch - awe-struck and speechless - as your overfilled pussy gushes all around him. 

And shit neither of you can even begin to think of what a bitch it’ll be to clean out this couch later on. Too caught up in the way you’re soaking Nanami’s merciless cock in that sinful mix of cum and slick. Thick, and hot, drooling down the side of your puffy folds. 

“See? Enough space, no?”

You raise your eyes, teary and hazy with lust, up to meet Nanami’s darkened ones and oh-

You weren’t going to make it out alive. 

Especially not when he leans down, whispering so raggedly in your ear, “Now I get to give ya another week’s worth more, right?”

♡ GETO SUGURU - 9 days

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzt-

You didn’t know how it ended up this way. How that stupid bet about who’d be the needier one made Geto the one with the sex ban. 

How he had you tied across from him so prettily on the bed, a bullet vibrator stuffed up your dripping cunt, unable to do anything but whine and watch as he spreads his bare, muscled thighs.

Tip flushed your favorite shade of pink, matching those panties wrapped around his throbbing cock. So angry and leaking all over his fist as one hand slides up, up, up. The other, fiddling with that tiny metal remote. 

“You’re drooling, gorgeous. So desperate, huh?”

You know you aren’t - but you can’t help the way your face burns at your boyfriend’s low chuckle. Thighs squeezing together at the heavenly sight before you. “N-no fair, Sugu.” you whine. “I want to-”

Intensity setting 2.

But whatever words get stuck in your throat as Geto draws harsh, quick little circles on the intensity setting, smirking at the way you’re so wrecked already. 

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzt-

“I-I want to-” he mocks your pathetic little whines, acting for all the life of him that they didn’t make his dick twitch so wildly in his hands. “My poor baby. S’not nice, right?” And if you were embarrassed before then it was absolutely nothing in comparison to when Geto knits his brows in mock concern, eyes locked on yours. Hand still moving down his cock, “But isn’t this what you wanted? With the sex ban? Isn’t this-” Hips bucking up to show off how sloppily he’s fucking his fist - and your panties along with it, “-what you were asking for?”

“No.” you’re tugging at the ties at your wrist, “I wanted…”

Intensity setting 3. 

But oh it’s like Geto was well and fully intent on leaving you speechless - and succeeding at it too. 

Because he immediately brings up your panties - flimsy and just so soaked - up to his face, breathing in so filthily. And as if he couldn’t help himself - as if he didn’t want to help himself - the remote falls out of Geto’s hand, “accidentally” locked on the highest setting, first wrapping around his cock to make a mess of himself. 

“F-fuck-” he cracks one eye open, balls squeezing so painfully at the way you were almost in tears trying to get some semblance of friction. “Heh, looks like I’m winning the bet.”

You scoff, but it comes out so pathetically like a whine. “You’re a cheater, I’d have w-won this bet otherwise.”

Ah, how Geto loved your smart mouth - though, he probably loved it even more when you’re fucked dumb. But, right now, bet at the forefront of his mind, the next best thing he could do is shove those sinful panties into your mouth. 

Hand flying up and down his cock faster and faster as you choke like such a slut on it. Greedily eyeing the way your lip wobbles, big fat tears welling up in your eyes, cunt all glistening and quivering as Geto blindly reaches behind to grab ahold of that remote again. 

Intensity setting 4. 

“And you’re too cute.” he drops his head, breath ghosting your lips. “So if you ask me nicely I might just-” Thumb playing around with the intensity, pressing down, hard. As if it would translate to your needy cunt, “-give you my cock, gorgeous.”

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzt-

It’s all you can do to keen as his fingers get faster on the remote, other hand getting so sloppy on his painfully hard cock. Matching that sinful little ah! ah! ah! leaving your swollen lips. Sinful - and stubborn, still refusing to say those words that you knew Geto wanted to hear so badly. 

“Awww, still not giving up?” At your delirious little headshake, “Then how about this?” 

Intensity setting 5. 

And shit it makes you arch off the bed entirely. It makes you let out a strangled yelp of, “Oh- fuck. Fuck fuck fuck Sugu, m’gonna-” It makes you cum.

“Tha’s it.” Geto can’t help but let go of his aching cock to draw rough, messy little circles on your clit. Grinning at the way you’re so pretty when you cum untouched - all for him. Over and over and- He reaches over to catch your lips with his, tongue dancing with yours, around your soaked panties. 

So filthy and dizzying that he almost forgets about that bet - almost. Because you’re murmuring something so incoherent into his lips. 

Bzzzt-bzzzt-bzzzt-

God, doesn’t matter who wins next time - he needs to fucking do this again.

“What’s that?” he leans in tauntingly, pulling the fabric out of your mouth, finger still running circles around the intensity. Absolutely addicted to the way you’re twitching and whining at the aftershocks of your orgasm, “M’sorry, gorgeous, this vibrator is too loud. Speak up f’me, hm?”

“P-please fuck me, Sugu.”

“Thought you’d never ask.”

♡ CHOSO KAMO - 21 hours

If Choso had it his way, then you’d both still be at home and he’d be balls-deep inside your sloppy pussy - fucking you over and over into the mattress until the neighbours file another noise complaint. 

But, alas, Jin Itadori was sure to hire a hitman - or worse, Sukuna - on him if he missed another family dinner. Which is how it ended up with you, sat so prettily across the table from him, watching through his long lashes at the way that red dress hugged you so sinfully. 

So right, in a way that made Choso almost jealous. So irresistibly, in a way that had Sukuna looking over a few too many times and-

Choso’s chair almost hits the floor with how fast he stands.

Fuck it.

“Sh-shit, Choso I-” 

“Keep ah- that dress up, baby. Unless ya wanna get it d-dirty.” he’s panting into your open mouth,  tongue so hotly toying with yours as he gives you another harsh thrust. “Though, I don’t ngh- mind.”

And he was telling the truth, too. Choso was in no way gentle with the way he had you sat on the bathroom counter, flimsy dress bunched up at your hips. Strong arms spreading your legs so shamefully while he bullied his cock into you with reckless abandon.

Over and over and-

“Cho!” you yelp, as he hits that one spot so expertly. Flashing you a fucked-out grin as how you’re scrambling to cover your mouth. “Th-they’ll hear.”

“So?”

And it’s all you can do to stop your jaw from falling slack once more - both in disbelief and at the way he’s fucking you so mean. So desperately like he hasn’t in months - years, even. Just unfocused, sloppy movements to milk his cock on your snug cunt.

“I don’t mind hah- that either.” Hand dipping underneath your soaked panties - just lazily pulled to the side - to roll your swollen clit between two fingers. “W-what I do mind is my oh- fuck girl holdin’ out on me and wearing that fucking dress on the s-same day.”

Oh you knew you were pushing the limits of your sex ban by wearing his favorite dress, that it would drive him absolutely wild. You just didn’t know it would be this easy.

“But you promised.” you’re letting out such broken little whines, muffled through your fingers, ones that go straight to Choso’s achingly hard cock. “You hngh- promised we wouldn’t at your family’s…”

The only response you get is Choso rolling his hips deeper into yours, so bruising in a way you knew would make you feel so guilty even when all the marks are covered up. Leaving hot, open-mouthed kisses down your neck in time with the way he alternates between hitting your poor, abused cervix and that one spot. 

Gasping out a ragged, “I know- I know I know fuck- Hah- I know.” Words strained - like he was losing a bit of his sanity with each thrust. And needed you to be the same. “But shit, baby. Do you know how p-pretty you look right now? Hngh- how fuckable?”

“Y-you’re so fuckin’ dirty.” you mewl, as if you were any better. As if your gummy walls weren’t sucking the fuckin soul out of Choso right now. “Should’ve made the ngh- sex ban even long-”

He bites down at the soft crook of your neck, growling out a little, “Don’t even joke about that.” 

And if Choso expected a response, then he didn’t act that way. 

Hips just erratic against yours, fingers even worse. Not even moving in circles anymore, just messy, sloppy patterns to-

No. 

You gasp at the realization, the deft movements of Choso’s fingers, and it just makes you all the more fucked-out underneath him. Scrambling to grab at the counter - Choso’s hair - his shoulders - just anything and everything to stop yourself from alerting the entire household to what you two were up to. Letting him fuck you like his favorite sextoy, fingers so so messy and spelling out a relentless little C-H-O-S-O-C-H-O-S-

And then you’re cumming and cumming so hard that it almost hurts. Stars behind your eyes, blood roaring in your eyes. Choso’s massive cock fucking any and every thought of the dinner just downstairs out of your mind. 

“F-fuck fuck fuck- ngh- we’re never coming back here for dinner again.”

And it’s all you can do to drag your nails down his broad back, leaving deep red marks that make his balls squeeze so painfully. 

It makes him throw his head back, gasping out your name so loud. It makes him pull your hips so bruisingly against his. 

It makes him cum, spilling thick, hot ropes of cum into your pussy. So messy with the way it’s too much to bear, dribbling down your swollen folds, forming a lewd little pool below you. And Choso doesn’t give a fuck - doesn’t care if he leaves marks that everyone will see. Or if that slutty dress of yours has a suspicious little damp patch as he swiftly pulls out to snap your panties back in place. 

Whispering lowly against your lips, “K-keep it in till we leave, hm?”

“Cho-”

Knock! Knock! Knock!

“The fuck? You brats fall in or something?”

♡ RYOMEN SUKUNA - 2 days

The great Ryomen Sukuna has always been terrifying - but never before has he been this ruthless. So utterly savage. Destroying every single curse he comes across in the blink of an eye - friend or foe, big or small. 

Why? All because he hasn’t been able to fuck your pretty lil’ cunt in two days. Which, in his opinion, are two days too long. All because of some stupid little experiment about wanting to see how long it would take to see the king of curses crack.

And when those trembling curses heard about this ah- sex ban through the grapevine, well, they wrote it off as another baseless rumor. Ha, Ryomen Sukuna cracking? Never. 

“Please…brat.” he bites down on your earlobe, further pushing up your expensive robes - ones he’d bought just to get on your good side - to sink his cock deeper inside your heavenly cunt. “There I said it. Now jus’ a bit more-”

And maybe you’re a mastermind - maybe you’re an idiot. Because you’re digging your heels into the mattress, pushing off ever-so-slightly from his aching hard cock. So thick and angry as it slips out of your sloppy hole. 

You bat your lashes so deceivingly innocently up at a pissed off Sukuna, “I didn’t like your tone.” Crossing your legs to cover that view he was so fixated on, “Either you beg n’ start all over again or-”

“Fine.” he grits out the word, like it physically hurt to. Though, nothing for what falls from his lips next, “Please.”

“Louder.”

“Please.”

There you had it. And you can’t help but smirk, “Well, I liked that one-”

Nothing more is said - in Sukuna’s eyes, nothing more has to be said. Because he’s got his favorite lil’ human all needy and spread so shamefully in front of him, what more could he want? Sukuna grabs your ankles, pulling you to him like a ragdoll. Wasting no time before he’s splitting you apart on his rock-hard cock.

“Ya don’t hah- know how many curses I killed these past two days.” he kisses your ankles so softly. “How many I wanted to kill.”

And God, if you didn’t know any better you’d say it’s like he wanted to kill you with the way Sukuna barely even gives you time to adjust. Stuffing you full of his cock, so hot and thumping against your gummy walls in a maddening little bump! bump! bump! 

Letting out a strangled moan of, “There you go.” Brows scrunching together, looking wrecked already as he rocks his hips into yours - fast. Hard. hands coming up underneath your ass to arch you deeper into him, “Squeezin’ me so- tight. Heh, almost ”

“Oh hngh- ‘Kuna!” you moan, eyes snapping down to the way your cunt was taking him up so good. Puffy folds bulging around his massive cock, looking like they were sucking the fucking soul out of Sukuna as his massive cock disappears in and out in and out in and- “S’too- much-”

“Shut up.” he drops his head, one hand so bruising all over your body - groping your ass, your tits, playing with your throbbing clit. “Ya wanted hah- me to talk, right? And I say-” The other, squeezing your cheeks together into a pathetic lil’ pout, “Open up.”

It’s so embarrassing the way you can’t do anything but let your mouth fall open so sluttily, tongue lolling out just in time to catch the stream of saliva as Sukuna spits once. Twice. 

So filthy with the way he lets it splatter against the corner of your mouth - on purpose. 

“Wanted the king to beg, huh?” Each word is punctuated by such a harsh thrust, twitching balls stinging against your ass. “Well you got it. H-how does it feel, huh?”

And you couldn’t speak up even if you wanted to. Sukuna’s hand too tight around your face, cock too merciless. Slamming his hips down faster and faster as he runs his mouth, like he was taking revenge for the last two days. Again. And again. And again and again-

Grinning at your delirious little gurgles, “Heh, what? Can’t talk?” 

And as if to prove his point, Sukuna loops two big arms around your waist, falling back on his knees with you sat like such a slut on his cock. Fingers lacing above your head to sink you impossibly deeper and deeper-

“Oh my god- K-” Your breath hitches as he fucks up into you so easily. Feeling more and more like some plaything with each ripple of his muscles underneath your legs. So hard you were sure it would leave marks - both confirming and condemning those rumors you knew have been flying around. His balls on your ass, thighs underneath yours, nails dragging lightly down your skin. 

Resting on your waist, holding your quivering hips still as he grunts, “Now shut up. M’gonna get my fill of the last two days.”

♡ GOJO SATORU - 4 hours

To the great Gojo Satoru, this droning, 4-hour meeting with the elders was a nightmare. To you, it was exactly where you wanted him

It wasn’t often that the strongest was tense - jittery, even, like he was about to jump out of his seat at any given moment. But, really, it was almost impossible not to, considering that stern talking-to you’d given him about “no sneaking out during meetings.” Especially when you’re sat across from him looking so beautifully unbothered.

Your smile too pretty, your uniform unbuttoned just enough that it gave him such a heavenly view when you bent over just so.  

Oh, how Gojo wishes he could just-

And that was when he felt it. 

That slow, slight touch up his inner thigh - so fleeting and light that he almost thinks he’s imagining it. But, no, Gojo could never mistake any touch from you. 

It sends his entire skin burning to catch your eye ever-so-briefly from across the table. A tiny smirk gracing those pretty lips as your heel inches up, up, up-

“Gojo, do you have anything to comment on the recent increase in curse sightings?”

He stifles a groan underneath one palm, the other snaking under the table just in time to catch your ankle before you can carefully slip away. “I think…” he manages to grit out, heady gaze flitting over to yours, “-that is a question my lovely wife and I must discuss first.”

Oh? 

And then, your back is hitting a plush mattress before you know it - long before the realization hits you that this bastard just fucking teleported the two of you to your bedroom. 

“T-Toru-” you sputter out, whatever reprimand getting stuck in your throat at how desperate Gojo was acting. Your uniform buttons hitting the floor as he rips open your shirt, hands bunching up your skirt, only having enough patience to just pull aside your soaked panties, rolling your pretty clit between two fingers. Needy. “The meeting-”

“The meeting isn’t here now, right?” 

Words so hoarse it takes you a moment to recognize it as your husband’s. You were only beginning to wonder just what the fuck you’ve gotten yourself into when Gojo tugs down his pants just enough that his rock-hard cock springs free.

And oh then it makes sense. Because Gojo was so hard that it looked painful - so so red, and angry. Soaked in enough precum that it made a damp little patch on his trousers, heavy balls twitching at the mere sound of your voice.

“D-didn’t I say no sneaking out this time, Toru?” You buck into his touch, despite your words, eyes locked on the way Gojo stops toying with your clit to pool your sweet sweet juices on his fingertips.

“You did.” Raising his long, glossy fingers to those pretty pink lips, “But this is teleporting, not sneaking out, sweetheart.”

Gojo’s like a man possessed as he pops your slick-covered fingers into his mouth, eyes rolling to the back of his head at the sinful taste. 

Gasping out a wet, “Fuck the ban. Can’t go without ya. Can’t-” One hand sliding his fat tip between your swollen folds, up and down up and down - spreading them apart, just barely dipping into your sloppy entrance. “-can’t live without this pretty cunt.”

And then it’s like something snaps - Gojo’s patience, his sanity, the last of his restraint as he sinks his throbbing cock into your plushy walls. 

Pushing past that first, tight ring of muscle, and at the first feeling of your gummy walls milking his cock, he pants out a strained, “Fuck- oh fuck fuck fuck, yer the stuff of dreams, my girl. This cunt- ngh-” Pushing your legs further apart, fingers back on your clit “-would’ve fucked this cunt right in ah- front of those old toads. But, you’re lucky I’m a jealous man.”

“Oh- oh my god, s’too- too- big!”

God, you needed to spread your legs more - as if they weren’t being folded apart so easily by a delirious Gojo - maybe breathe, try to relax because Gojo was so big. And so unforgiving. 

Feeling like he was pushing all the way into your lungs as he thrusts in quick, shallow little thrusts to bully himself inside your snug cunt. Jagged - like he was fighting with some absolutely, depraved, feral part of himself. 

You can feel the way your hips are torn between pushing away and grinding back down for more more more- And Gojo can, too.

“No-” he hisses. Brows scrunching in frustration, hips becoming more and more sloppy - frenzied. “No no no no no- hold on, sweetheart. Need this, need this so bad.”

Going faster. 

Deeper. 

You sob, ankles locking around his slutty waist. “B-but Toru-” You make a feeble last attempt at regaining your sanity. Your entire body jolting as Gojo presses so hard on your clit. “-we should ngh- hurry up. W-we’ll be late to the meeting-”

But does it really matter? Gojo doesn’t think so, not when he finally bottoms out in one, rough thrust. Groaning as his sensitive balls smack your ass.

Your cunt so slutty and tight - sucking him up so good despite your cute lil’ pleas about something stupid like “responsibilities”. 

So he really can’t help the way he wastes no time before reeling his hips back - all the way till his weeping tip is just kissing your sloppy hole. Before fucking into you completely - rough. Unrestrained. The same way he imagined taking you on that meeting room table. Over and over and-

“Not yet.” he grins against your lips, “We’re not done discussing the recent increase in curse sightings.”

A/N. Gojo’s came out toooo long I don’t even like this man fr (loud incorrect buzzer).

Plagiarism not authorized.

[iceonneo]

𝙛/𝙘𝙠 𝙗𝙖𝙣 ; l.hc

haechan x fem! reader

in brief : "be honest you are doing this on purpose, aren't you?" "hmmmm... no." "no?" he chuckled. "nope." you whispered. haechan slid his hands under your thighs pulling you over his lap, straddling him.

"liar."

warnings : [ smut ] swear words, fingering, nipple play, kisses.

❦₊࿐

[ on text ] blue : haechan pink : fem reader

so i was thinking..

miss maam what are you thinking of this time

what if i put us on a sex ban you specifically haech i swear to god i cant feel my legs half the time

wow i take that back u rlly need to stop thinking sometimes where is this even coming from

coming from my vagina that hasnt breathed at ALL

right that same pussy thats wet for me every night.i wonder what happens to the breathing then

ur not making sense rn

wow my girlfriend hates me should i just go kms rn or what

hyuck pls im serious

oh yeah? alright i see how it is. lets see who lasts the longest because i can alr see you wet and on your knees for me and im not even hard

lol okayyyy

❦₊࿐

"this is ridiculous."

your fingers slid around the transparent vessel lifting it into the air. "nope, babe, it's for your own good."

"i don't think this hard ass untouched floating dick is of any fucking good." haechan huffed. he stood on the other side of the counter watching his girlfriend gulp down a glass of water with his hands on his hips.

currently, this was day 03 of the ban and lee haechan was on the verge of pulling his hair out and going full out insane.

you gulp the water down eyeing him for a few seconds before your gaze dropped to the bulge in his pants. a small smile cracked on your features as you snorted lightly.

the way he stood with his hands on his hips and a arrogant frustrated expression on his face with his nose flaring like some roadside auntie. a rather loud laugh escaped your lips this time, "what happened to me being the first to dip? hyuck, you're too cute."

"you say that one more time im going to come right here." he eyed you as you made your way towards him.

you reached him, quickly placing one of your palms on the side of his face. haechan sighed melting into your touch. he closed his eyes letting the weight of his head nestle into your hands.

you let your other arm drop down and roam. the surface of your knuckles brushed against his clothed boner making the boy suck in a deep breath. you watched his face. the way his eyes and brows contracted as you let your thumb brush against his balls, a little too harshly this time.

a small smile played on your lips. "baby, you said you weren't even gonna be hard."

"i swear to god please fist me right now." he said through slightly gritted teeth as he thrusted his groin towards your palm. desperate, needy, horny, sex blinded.

letting your fingers brush against his length once more you swiftly grabbed his right wrist instead.

haechan opened his eyes, a confused expression painted over his features. you lifted his hand that you were holding up. "use this."

❦₊࿐

the movie playing on the tv was where your attention was at, despite the boy snuggled beside and his hands thrown all over your body.

your focus on the screen disappearing slowly as haechan rubbed circles into your belly.

now was when realization hit how close the guy had gotten. from sitting adjacent to you over the single seat, sulking, to directly spawning beside you out of nowhere.

too lazy to even object, you just let him do as he wished.

"baby" he murmured into your ears. his voice sultry and velvety, tickling your ear lobes.

"hm?"

the boy sat up staring straight into your eyes, "im seriously not kidding. this shit is starting to hurt now." you sighed.

"it's hardly been two day-" "three." he corrected.

haechan pinched his brows fake exaggerating, "almost 72 hours without pussy oh theres no difference between me and a stranded fish on a desert right now ."

"what?" you chuckled into your palms, leaning against him ignoring his protests. your hair tickling his face but he didn't care, burying his head further into your nape.

"babe pleaseeeeeeeeeeeee" he whined into your ears, swing an arm around your ribs bringing you closer onto him as the other hand sneakily entered your sweatpants.

"haech, im too ti-"

words stumbled into each other and fell into a bottomless pit within you as you felt his middle finger dive into your core.

instead of a nag came out a moan as he joined his index finger along.

haechan left a trail of kisses on your neck as you leaned against him.

oh, fuck this damn ban.

your back was pressed against his chest, hardly any distance remaining. the two of his fingers rubbed against your cunt- not fast, but slow. slow and powerfully.

"mmh"

and your top was gone in no time.

"told ya." haechan smirked, his other arm advancing towards your bra as he didnt bother unhooking. he grabbed the fabric from the between pulling it down as your boobs popped out. before you know it, his fingers were over the nipples. kneading the flesh slowly, occasionally pinching the bud.

filthy: is a suitable word to describe the view.

practically sitting on only one of his thighs with his hands under your pants. your head dipped behind onto his shoulders. bra awkwardly hanging below the bouncing boobs that perked and shaked with every single sensation.

your moans were breaking with the fast friction against your clitoris and oh they were worthy enough to have the neighbors complaining. "uh- ummyeah yeah, yeah just like tha- oh fuck. ah- ah, baby you're too goodddo- oh!"

"you like this baby?" he smirked. "what was all about the ban now?" his fingers practically abused your shining bud, kneading it down with his fingers. "thats right, this pussy of yours is mine, just mine. im never gonna make you think of that shit ever again."

and there it was, that familiar feeling you yearned to feel. the knot that had formed in your abdomen was begging to snap.

"fuck, hy- uck, faster, baby please."

three fingers in.

at this point, you had lost control of your body. laying almost lifelessly against your boyfriend who fucked you stupid.

his warm hand groping your tit while his fingers toying with your nipple. on the other hand, well literally, the other hand was busy gliding across your perfectly wet and swollen folds. his fingers slowly tracing lower and lower until they met the entrance of your hole.

with a quick kiss on your neck, he inserted his fingers in as you gasped. he pulled them out quickly enough, not even letting you savor the feeling of it. your eyes turned wide, glancing back at him. a whiney call of his name rolled of your tongue.

he smirked lightly before turning you around. swiftly tossing your body against the couch as he climbed on top. both of his arms against your head and that arrogant smirk of his still visible on his face.

"what?" you chuckled, slightly amused by how he wouldn't stop making that face.

"what about the fuck ban?" he questioned.

you raised your brows, "hyuck, seriously?"

the boy retracted his arms and sat up on your groin. his arms folded against his chest while he gazed you down. the visible clothed boner of his was sitting above your hole and you bit your cheeks from inside refusing to let any sign of pleasure show.

"i mean," he made a thinking face, "you sounded pretty serious about it."

"oh yeah?" you snickered while he only nodded. propping yourself against your elbows you sighed.

"well, i guess you're right then." dragging one of your arms from over to your chest down to where the bra hanged, you gripped it, in an attempt to wear it back before the grip on your wrist stopped you.

"I'm kidding." haechan said, locking his gaze on yours noticing your raised brows. "you know i am."

a glint of the slightest ire flicking in your orbs and without a wait, his lips were on yours.

his weight completely dropped upon you. his pressed body against yours pushed out a moan from within. letting your fingers glide down from his nape to his scalp, feeling the heat of his mouth against yours and you couldn't wish to be anywhere else. every detail slowly etched in your mind as you counted down to when his tongue would swipe at your mouth, when his hands would meet your waist and when his sighs would start erupting. you knew him too good.

"ba- hby." he pulled out, drowsy eyes locked on yours. "you know, right?"

you pulled your fingers out of his locks that were now messy, locking them against his neck instead. "hm?"

"sex or no sex, i want you nevertheless. a few nights without feeling your pussy wouldn't mend my love for you, in any way. ever."

"yes sir." a smile spread against your lips as you held in a laugh. he looked way too cute right now.

"but right now, I've been watching you skip around this damn house half naked almost for the entire day." his gaze hardened before dropping down on the floor.

"like that-" he pointed with his eyes to where your short tank top lay, thrown away. "thats literally like 2 threads and the crappiest piece of fabric glued together and it covers nothing- fuck!"

at this point you couldn't hold it in inside as your boisterous laugh bubbled and erupted out of you, echoing almost. "hy- hyuck you're so-" and you were laughing again.

the boy only deadpanned at you from on top as your body vibrated beneath him from the laughter. "Im serious. my dick has been solid rock since the morning."

"be honest you were doing this on purpose, weren't you?" haechan asked with a brow raised and arms folded against his chest. he got off you, sitting on the couch staring at you who was wiping away the tears from laughter that threatened to spill. his mouth was quirked to a small cute smile right before his gaze dropped down to your boobs and the wet patch on your sweats. the tug in his dick almost sent him to mars.

you pulled your fingers against your cheeks, pretending to think. "hmmmm... no."

"no?" he chuckled.

"nope." you whispered.

haechan slid his hands under your thighs pulling you over his lap, straddling him.

"liar."

let's just say the night was long, the neighbors might or might not have knocked on your doors the next morning and oh, also, fuck this damn ban.

[straylightdream]

I’m not sharing | kmg

𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭: kim mingyu x f.reader

↳ “I swear to god Kim Mingyu I’m going to ban you from sharing a bed with me ever again, if you don’t stop stealing my blanket,” you whined as you pulled harshly on the blanket that was wrapped around him. You immediately woke him up. He had a startled look on his sleepy face.

𝐠𝐞��𝐫𝐞: non idol au

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 1.4k

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: the mc is mad at mingyu, fluff, mentions of an almost wonwoo x reader in the past, wonwoo is Mingyu roommate, smut warning below the cut

if you would like to be tagged please fill out this form.

𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐝𝐛𝐚𝐜𝐤 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐫𝐞𝐛𝐥𝐨𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐬!

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: unprotected sex, big dick mingyu, trying to stay quiet so wonwoo doesn’t hear, super sweet fluffy sex

Chilly winter nights were the worst for you. As someone who easily gets cold the only way you could sleep is with the heater on and bundled up in a blanket.

After a terrible week at work you decided to cheer yourself up by staying at your boyfriend's house. Luckily you’re also friends with roommate Wonwoo, so he didn’t mind you spending multiple days basically living with them.

Curled up in bed you couldn’t sleep because of how cold you are. You’re practically shivering after Mingyu pulled your blanket away from you while he slept. You love your boyfriend dearly but sharing a bed with him sometimes is extremely difficult.

“I swear to god Kim Mingyu I’m going to ban you from sharing a bed with me ever again, if you don’t stop stealing my blanket,” you whined as you pulled harshly on the blanket that was wrapped around him. You immediately woke him up. He had a startled look on his sleepy face.

He looked over at you, and immediately he could tell you were pissed based on the look on your face. You pulled on the blanket again. He was trying his hardest not to laugh at your attempts to take your blanket back. You didn’t really stand a chance of pulling it away from his large body. Him constantly working out was a blessing and a curse right now.

“Baby you’re supposed to share with me,” he smiled, egging you on.

“Mingyu, I'm not sharing my blanket. I’m freezing,” you were shivering as you tugged on the blanket. You wouldn’t be this cold if Mingyu did constantly keep the room the temperature of an ice box. This man absolutely refused to turn his fan off even during the chilly winter months. You could go without turning a space heater on if he would compromise and turn off the damn fan.

“Don’t make me go to Wonwoo room to see if he’ll cuddle me,” you whine, still tugging on the blanket.

He tried his hardest not to roll his eyes at the mention of his roommate. He knows Wonwoo liked you enough that if you did go and ask him to cuddle to get revenge on your boyfriend he would absolutely do it and not even question your motives. The thought of you leaving him to go cuddle with his best friend wasn’t his favorite idea. He smiled at you and unwrapped himself from the blanket. He knew if he messed with you anymore, you were literally going to kick him out of bed or actually leave him to go share Wonwoo bed. Roughly you grabbed the blanket and quickly wrapped yourself up in the blanket and glared over at Mingyu who was grabbing the light sheet at the foot of the bed. “Is there any way we can share that?” he asked using his best puppy dog eyes. You shook your head softening your harsh stare. “Baby I’m cold. Please share with me,” he whined.

“Maybe you should turn down your fan then.” You would commonly get in little disagreement about how cold Mingyu keeps his room. As a couple you rarely fight. Your only real issue is the temperature of his room when you stay over. When he stays at your place he knows he can’t even ask for the ceiling fan to be on.

“You weren’t sharing with me. Why should I share with you?” You glare at him, as you’re completely bundled up.

He couldn’t believe you wouldn’t share the blanket. He watched you cuddle into the blanket and close your eyes. He gently shook his head to himself and slowly moved over next to you. Your eyes popped open as you watched him gently lift the blanket. You stared at him with narrow eyes watching him curl up close to you. He wrapped his arms around you so you were both under the warm blanket. His body heat is a welcomed warmth even though you’re mad at him.

He moved his face up and pressed his lips to your bare shoulder. Without saying a word he kept peppering light kisses across your warm skin. Your gaze softened as his lips grazed your skin.

“Are you trying to kiss your way into my good graces?” You asked as he rolled you so you were laying on your back.

Without saying a word, he moved so he was hovering over you and pepper kisses across your lips and down your jaw. You captured your bottom lip between your teeth as he continued to kiss his way down your neck. You reached for his face wanting to feel his soft lips against your again. Your lips connected again for a rough and passionate kiss.

His lips brushed against yours as he whispered, “you’re so cute when you get mad at me.”

If his lips hadn’t been distracting you, you would have gotten mad at his comment. He once again kissed his way down your neck. Lightly nipping as his lips ghosted across your skin.

“Am I forgiven for taking your blanket?” he asked, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes.

You shook your head and smiled at him, “you’re lucky you’re good at kissing.”

He smiled as he leaned forward and lightly pressed his lips to yours.

“I know how I can warm you up,” he smiles.

“I’m too cold to get naked.”

“Are you wearing panties with your sleep shorts?” He knows you all too well. He knows you hate sleeping with underwear on. “Are you cold?” You know he’s not but you feel the need to ask.

“No baby, and if you let me I can warm you up,” he gives you that cheesy goofy smile he gives you all the time.

Rolling your eyes you try your hardest not to smile at his cheesy line. “You’re such a dork.”

He rolls his boxer cover erection against your barely covered core.

“Why are you assuming I’m wet for you after you annoyed me?”

He gives you a smirk he knows makes you weak. “Because I know you, and I know that even when I annoy you I can still make you wet with very little effort.”

Leaning your head up a little you press your lips to his. “You’re lucky I love you.”

He presses his lips to yours for another quick kiss, “I’m lucky you picked me over Wonwoo.” You think back to when you first met the roommates. Originally Seungcheol was attempting to set you up with Wonwoo but when you met Mingyu you immediately clicked. Wonwoo even pointed it out before you even have a chance to see if you would work out romantically.

“You’re never going to let that go are you?”

“Never.”

Your hand claws at his shoulder as you spread your legs more. “I thought you were going to warm me up?”

“Do you want me to warm you up?” He’s still wearing that same smirk.

Reaching between you, you grope his straining erection in his boxers. “Please.”

He pulls away from you and removes his boxers, tossing them from out of the covers. You shimmy of your pajama bottoms quickly. Never leaving the covers. He makes quick work of crawling on top of you again. He grinds his length between your folds.

“Warm me up,” you say before pressing your lips to his.

Ever so slowly he pushes into you. Biting your lip you hold back a moan. Wonwoo and Mingyu share a bedroom wall and you don’t want Wonwoo to know what’s happening between you.

Your legs wrap around Mingyu holding him close to you as he thrust into you at a slow yet steady pace. His hands are on each side of your head, caging you in.

Leaning down he presses his lips to yours for a heated kiss muffling your moans. The feel of him stretching you with his slow but firm thrust makes you feel like you’re seeing stars. Your fingers tangled in his hair holding face closer to yours. You fall apart with your lips against his. Silently gasping into his mouth.

His own release follows shortly after. He paints your walls white slowly rolling his hips into your as he rides out his high.

He doesn’t make an effort to pull out once he’s calmed down. He pulls his lips away from yours and gives you a gentle smile. Your hand rests on his cheek. You can’t help but smile back at him.

“Are you still mad at me?”

“No,” you let out a soft laugh. No matter how hard you try it’s quite hard to stay mad at him sometimes.

[celuere]

I want you all over me.

pairing: feixiao x fem!reader

context: feixiao having never experienced a single mating cycle in her life was always something she has been relatively relieved about. That is until she met you

cw: feixiao has a dick here because I said so, breeding, mating press, feral feixiao, HSR didn‘t have any lore on how Foxians reproduce so I had to get creative, story takes place after she wiped the floor with Hoolay, biting 

First work on my iPad with the new bluetooth keyboard I ordered, truly a life changer. Not even my fever will stop me from writing Yuri. and also huge thanks to Ray for helping me with the gradient, not all heroes wear capes. Some of them are axolotls!

NSFW utc, MDNI!

Have you ever wondered if Foxians can enter a heat? Well, they do. Just not the way you think. There are a lot of factors that play an important role in a Foxians heat cycle.

For once their relationship status is a strong factor. Are they single, taken or even married? Are they happy in said marriage? Do they want to reproduce with their partner?

Then there is their age. A first Foxians heat cycle is usually triggered in the late 20s, some may experience it earlier, some later. There are even recordings of certain individuals not experiencing a single mating process in their entire lifespan, simply because they didn’t want to, have never found the right person and variety of other reasons. A Foxians urge to reproduce along with the frequencies of their cycles may decrease with age.

Now, once having lived through a mating cycle you are considered „Mature“. No, it doesn’t refer to your mental capabilities, it‘s simply the medical term for Foxians that can reproduce. Because until you didn’t live through at least one of these unbearable cycles, your ability to reproduce is -so the doctors call it- sleeping.

In the young days of the Xianzhou, where arranged marriages were still a thing, a certain medicine was to be used if one or both parties weren’t already mature to trigger their first heat, so they may produce an heir. That was until said medication was banned for good.

Once mature you only develop a steady, balanced heat cycle that may only occur when you’re in a happy, fulfilled relationship. A few may live through it two times a year, others every two months or even just once every year.

And during the actual thing? Unless not separated from their s/o, Foxians become extremely grumpy and frustrated, it‘s better to not bother them during this time. Just avoid them all together. They reach their breaking point once they’re reunited with their partner again. Be sure you won‘t be leaving the house or rather the bedroom for the next two or three days.

Feixiao usually was never bothered by the fact that she didn’t mature yet, never once was it a problem for her. Quite the opposite. Seeing how her Foxian friends and coworkers seemed to disappear off the face of society for a good few days actually relieved her. It meant no interruptions in her training schedule and left no room for distractions.

That was until you came along.

At first the general didn’t think much of it when you first started dating. She‘d touch herself to the memory of you, how good you‘d took her cock into your wet pussy last week, moaning and clawing into her trained shoulders as you begged for her to go faster. To fuck you harder.

She first didn’t think about how annoyed she got over the week because of the smallest thing, recruits being stupid, Jiaqou annoying her, she even gave Moze a whole earful when he tried his luck on her again. Only feeling better during the mornings and evenings she‘d spent with you in her arms. 

It reached a certain point on a Friday Night. Jingyuan sent her home after she almost lost her shit at Hana because of a simple misunderstanding from her side.

„Come back once you’ve calmed down.“, he said. 

The funny thing? Nobody was angry with her. Not Jingyuan. Not Jiaqou. Not Moze. Not Hana. Nobody. Everybody already knew what was going on with the Merlin‘s Claw. Except for the poor woman herself.

Or you.

Once Feixiao opened the door to your shared home and inhaled your scent, it‘s as good as over for the both of you. 

Poor you was just dusting off the shelves in the living room when your girlfriend practically threw herself right at you, hands clawing your shirt and pants right off of your body. Even your underwear covered too much for her liking. 

Her body felt too hot. The general had the impression she‘d burn to ashes from the inside out if she didn’t bury her already throbbing cock inside your cunt within the next moments.

„F-Fei, what- Hah!“, a bite mark on your most sensitive part on your neck never sounded better to her. 

She needed you carnally. Fucking wasn’t enough. She needed to breed you throughly until neither couldn’t think straight anymore. Until all that’s left inside of your spent pussy is her cum. 

„Quiet, darling.“, leaving your neck with a mark that will surely take on a pretty purple color during the next few days. Goodness, she might as well died without the tightness of your cunt.

In between the fog of clothes flying to the floor, sloppy kisses and Feixiao‘s growling right into your ear, you didn’t even notice when exactly she shoved her length into you. Suddenly she was all over you, inside you, digging her claws into your skin so she could drag you on and off her cock in a faster manner, soon forming creamy ring around her base that drove her close to madness. 

She wanted nothing more right now than for you to carry out her babies, the sheer thought only fuel to the fire that’s seemingly devouring her from the inside.

She didn’t try to angle her hips to hit your weak spot better, she didn’t care how you’re supposed to cover up the bite marks on your neck and shoulders, not even your beautiful tits were spared of her teeth.

„Fckin‘ take my cock into that pussy… g-get it all i-in there…“, she‘d mutter as she watches you melt over her for another time, your mixed juices oozing out on the sides whenever she‘d fuck back into you. That sofa will probably have to be replaced when she is done with you.

When your legs were pressed up against your chest that was probably the moment your soul disconnected from your body. Her using you more or less as a personal fleshlight was more than you could ever handle, even when she fucked her third load into your cunt, you just hoped she would keep on fucking out her heat with you.

If every cycle felt like this for her, Feixiao could only pray to Lan to be blessed by this amazing occurrence once every month. The warming sensation of your pussy tightening around her dick every so often, those pretty moans spilling out of your mouth with each time she rolled her hips against yours, only adding to the already torturous pressure against your cervix. She could go on like this for days. 

There was one time where she accidentally slipped out when pulling back, never in her life did something piss her more off than seeing her dick outside your cum-filled pussy. Her hands immediately went back around your hips and then she pushed herself back in. With one, smooth thrust you welcomed her back inside your warmth, that absolute guttural moan the both of you let out was surely to be heard outside by any random passerby.

But don’t think she will be done with you after a day. She‘ll make sure you fall asleep with your pussy warming her dick and she‘ll make sure you also get to wake up with it, only so she can mess you up all over again.

Maybe being mature isn’t so bad after all.

[royalarchivist]

Ramon had a cute idea for the Huevitos (members of Fit's community) to fill the #ramonbday tag with art and kind messages so he can show them to Fit for his birthday (February 1st), so here's my contribution! I have over 800 Fit-related clips, so it was hard to choose just a few fun moments from stream :'D

Even though the QSMP server won't be open until February 3rd, we still have a few more days to share messages, art, etc. – so if you'd like to post something for Ramon to potentially include in Fit's birthday surprise, make sure to post it by January 31st and use the tag #ramonbday!

[ Subtitle Transcript ↓ ]

–

Fit: I can't believe I'm a homosexual now.

–

FitMC 2023 - 2024 Highlights

–

Vegetta: Leonarda, give me the picture.

Fit: Leonarda, you should give him a picture.

Vegetta: It's for saving your life!

Fit: [Picks up the photo she dropped] Oh, now I have it. [Sees its a photo of Vegetta and Melissa in their stripper outfits] Oh. Oh my.

–

Fit: It's a life experience Tubbo, you know? Aren't you glad you–

Tubbo: "Life experience" deez nuts, you bald bastard.

–

Fit: Ok, I'm looking through the bars– There's like, yeah–

Pac: [Falls off the wall] AAAAA–

–

Fit: [Dumping his wild cats in the Bakery] I'll just– I'll just release them in here. Screw it. What's the worst that could happen?

[The next day]

The big cats are still, uh– [Sees the cats mauling the Baker] Oh my god. They do NOT like the Baker

–

Jaiden: Fit, you're just a guy, right?

Fit: I'm just a dude. I'm just like– I'm just like the generic RPG protagonist. Like, human male, warrior. Like, it's– I'm as vanilla as you can get

-

Fit: Sneeg– shut up, I'm doing gay roleplay right now!

–

Fit: Tubbo, if you want to disable mines, you are disrespecting the entire Hispanic community.

–

Fit: What are you doin' staring at me, Baldy? Yeah, you think you're hot sht?

[The Binary Monster shows up]

Fit: OH, FCK–

–

Fit: The oldest anarchy server in Minecraft.

Fit: The youngest gay roleplay server in Minecraft.

–

Fit: [While playing "Hide and Seek" with Ramon] If he moves, then I know that was the spot.

Ramon: [Stares at him as the Metal Gear Solid "discovered by an enemy" vwing! sound plays]

Fit: [Cackles] WHERE YOU GOIN' BOY? WHERE YOU GOIN' BOY?

–

Fit: To be a turtle in the Arctic, you hate to see it. Yeah, you know this turtle is... not so different from me. It's living in a place that's trying to KILL it.

–

Tubbo: [To Pac] Just lay down. [Starts Casualonas-ing] This is for you.

Fit: [Immediately equips his weapon]

Tubbo: This is for you, king.

Pac: [Laughs] Fit - you see this?

Fit: [Shoots Tubbo, who starts screaming] I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Uh-

Tubbo: Ok, ok, well he–

Fit: Misfire, misfire, misfire!

Tubbo: He wasn't- he wasn't- OW OW OW!

Fit: Misfire!

–

Fit: Sometimes- it's not about doing the right thing, Phil – it's about doing the more entertaining thing. Right?

Phil: PFTTTTT–

Fit: They banned my ass. They're like, "Why are you talking to Pac like that?" That's unacceptable on this family-friendly Christian Minecraft server (TM). Like– "We can't be having any of that." "Can't be having any of THAT."

–

Cucurucho: [Slowly turns to stare at Fit while Pac is talking to him]

Fit: [Silently starts cracking up]

Pac: Ok Cucurucho, I'm gonna be waiting for your response

–

[Fit putting up art that Ramon drew]

Foolish: Boo it if it's bad!

Fit: Heyyyyyy! That's actually –

Foolish: Oh! Wait, that's– That's actually pretty good, what the fck.

Fit: Ramon, you weren't supposed to actually try. This is incredible!

[They both laugh]

–

Pac: Yeah, yeah! I was–

Tubbo: Everyone goes through their dick phase.

Fit: Yeah...

Pac: Yeah, everyone does.

Fit: Oh? Oh– is that so, Tubbo? Yeah?

Tubbo: Everyone- everyone–

Fit: When did you go through your dick phase? [Laughs]

Tubbo: I'd argue I'm in my dick phase right now.

Fit: Uh, you know, speakin' of spruce– you know Bruce Lee, right?

Phil: Yeah?

Fit: If Bruce Lee was a plant, he'd be Spruce Tree.

Phil: [Disappointed grumbling]

Fit: [Laughs]

[Fit gets kicked off the server]

Fit: [Laughs even harder]

[bwabys-scenarios]

HANTENGU CLONES HCs

Karaku+Urogi

SFW+NSFW

Warnings: pet names, tummy bulge, anal, virginity loss, breeding kink, cock warming

background: you are the wife of the hantengu clones

Aizetsu

Sekido

SFW

Karaku

-you call him your lovebug

-he calls you sweet thing, princess, pretty girl, wife

-the most handsy out of the four

-constantly grabbing your hips and nipping at your neck

-the most physically and verbally affectionate

-if you ever need someone to be lovey dovey with, he’s your guy

-taken you on dinner dates

-bro is a biter not even in a sexy way usually, he just randomly bites you all the time

-enjoys watching you have fun

-very pouty when he doesn’t get his daily cuddle session

-very into the domestic life, very much enjoys having a cute wife to come home to

-his favorite place to kiss if your neck

Urogi

-you call him sweetheart, baby

-he calls you his dragonfly, cutie pie, wife

-so hyper

-wants to do so many things at once, he’s your go to if you wanna have fun!

-usually the one to bring home game from the forest(deer, rabbits, and large birds mostly)

-please touch help him preen his wings, he won’t tell you he wants you to run your hands through his feathers but he does back up into you with his wings all fluffed up and in your face

-hates the cold, will steal you to snuggle with in the winter

-understands your humanity the least. What do you mean you can’t be thrown off a cliff into a waterfall he just wants to see who can make the bigger cannonball!!

-dislikes sharing you the most, is known for taking you away for extended periods of time(which highly pisses of Sekido ><)

-makes you a nest and collects the softest materials and shiniest objects to decorate it 🥺

-loves kissing your lips the most!!

NSFW

Karaku

-second horniest clone

-can and will fuck you until you pass out

-he’s huge, gives you a tummy bulge

-coo at him and give him sweet little kisses and he’ll bust inside you instantly

-being in his lap is dangerous. One moment he’s bouncing you on his knee while you tell him about your day the next second your bouncing on his cock

-likes any position where he can see your face, loves to watch you come undone

-little bit of a breeding kink

-likes to cum inside you or on your face

-can’t get enough of your touch, he needs to be flush against you or he whines about not being close enough

-sooo touchy…

Urogi

-hear me out… huge breeding kink

-he built you a whole nest he wants you to have his babies

-only cums inside you, would be a waste not to!

-will fuck you anywhere anytime. collecting herbs in the forest? bend over real quick. shopping for supplies in town? pushing you up against the nearest wall and pounding you

-is the reason you’re banned from the farmers market

-so good with his tongue, will sometimes just eat you out until you can’t walk

-gets extremely jealous of the other four when they take turns with you

-steals you away to have sex in the nest he made for you

-he’s the most likely to actually get your pregnant

-bro does not understand boundaries will crouch down and start sniffing at your crotch randomly and eat your out with no regard for who’s around

-definitely the type to have you in his lap cockwarming him constantly

-THE horniest

-super dirty mind too, def the first to suggest anal and try it out

-takes your anal v card with PRIDE

-his dick is the smallest out of the four (7ish inches) but it’s thick af, praying for your coochie🙏🙏

[banquetwriter]

hellooo! can i request johnnie x reader, where his tweets are about a song but the fans think they broke up because y/n also had a suspicious tweet like him!! thank you i hope you have a wonderful day!

୨୧ Assumptions ୨୧

pairing: Johnnie Guilbert ♡︎ Reader

warnings: ୭̥⋆*｡ short (I'm sorry) fluff tbh

summary: ʚ the fans get the wrong idea when you and Johnnie tweet lyrics of his new song ɞ

Words: 1299

An: this is short but honestly it's so sweet and I loved doing this!!

SUPPORT ME

You made sure to keep balance with the plate and cup in your hands as you approached your office room. You had finally convinced Johnnie to start editing in your office since he moved in. You both even set up a little recording spot for him complete with a spooky background.

You walked up to the door and knocked against it slightly using your foot. After a moment or two the door opened with a slightly worn-looking Johnnie. “Hey what's all this for?” he asked, opening the door for you. “Well you have been working so hard on your new song I thought I outta surprise you.”

You say with a big smile holding up his cup of tea and chips. “Eh, I'm really proud of this song. I just hope it, you know, does well,” he says with a short laugh at the end of his sentence. You smile while walking to the couch that is directly next to his editing chair.

The one you sat at and relaxed while he would stream. The whole world seemed so in love with you two dating. Everyone loved how well you two worked. And you loved it too. “I'm sure they will babe. I think you fucking killed it with this song,” you spoke moving your legs up to your chest and setting the food on the desk.

He smiles as you sit down in his chair and start to click around on his computer. You plucked a chip off of his plate scrolling around Twitter. “Hey, quit stealing my chips,” Johnnie said, staring at you accusingly.

You pause looking up at him, blinking slowly for a second. “When your dick gets bigger I will,” you said with a faux smile. He giggles at your comment, turning back to the computer, his fingers reaching for the coffee mug.

“Be careful, I think the tea is still pretty hot.” you half mumble the warning before putting the chip in your mouth. “I'll drink whatever the fuck I want bitch.” he says in a sassy, Timmy-esque voice. He takes a small sip of the tea before yanking the cup away from his mouth. “Fuck!” he shouts as the hot piqued burned his mouth.

You let out a loud laugh at his reaction, covering your mouth as you did so. “Aahh fuck you!” he yelps again searching for a drink of something colder. You snicker looking back down at your phone. Twitter was usually an awful place to be and it wasn't any different than this time.

You banned Johnnie from looking up his name on social media sites, and it wasn't good that you still did it but occasionally you liked to check in on fans and see what was popular amongst the fandom.

Most were hyping up the newest video you had posted this week and taking clips from it as reactions. Your fans were so funny, like genuinely. It blew you away that people found you so funny.

Of course, there were a select few that were not ideal. One about how You and Johnnie haven't posted in a while, and that you two must have broken up. They were not true by any means. With Johnnie's new song coming out soon it was easier for him to bulk-record videos so he had more time during the day to work on it.

Johnnie had finally calmed down from burning the shit out of his mouth. “How much of the new song have you teased?” you asked using your foot to spin his chair so he faced you. You continued to munch on a few chips, eating all the food you brought for your boyfriend.

“Honestly not much just that I have a new song coming out, not even a date or anything,” he said, grabbing a chip too. “Mmm we should start doing more to promote it, well sorry, you should do more this isn't my song,” you murmur using your ring finger to tap around your phone with your chip-dust-covered hands.

“Mmm, I feel like it's both of our songs in a way, I mean yeah I performed it and edited it but you helped me write it. You're also helping me by taking care of me.” he gestured to his tea as he took a sip.

You smiled at his words. It was nice when credit was given for things like this. This was Johnnie's song but you did help him with the lyrics. It was about the heartbreak of getting older, the lyrics sounding like you were talking to time.

The idea simmered down into a few words; it was like breaking up with time. The lyrics were akin to a breakup song. It was a cool idea and one you dealt with as you grew older. You even starred in the music video as the “time” character.

“What were we thinking of doing?” he murmured with his mouth full. “Maybe tweeting a few of your lyrics? Something you wouldn't normally rant about I guess,” you suggested dusting your fingers off.

“That could be cool, we should do it from the chorus or something,” he said, pulling his phone out of his back pocket. “Yeah for sure,” you mumbled absentmindedly, moving the chair with your foot still.

Over the next few days you both tweeted lyrics from the song. ‘I will forever mourn the loss of us’ and ‘You can't stay innocent to it forever’ got the most likes. Unfortunately, you two were now trending. “What the fuck are we going to do?” you asked looking at the #Johnnieandy/nbreakup tag.

“Just ignore them? The song comes out soon anyway,” he reassured you, his thumb rubbing the side of your thigh. Your legs rested on his lap as you cuddled up next to him.

You still didn't like the idea that everyone thought you two broke up. You can see how someone might think that from your guy’s tweets. And yes you shouldn't assume something about someone online but that just means your fans care about you. Doesn't it?

After a few days, you both released another video on each other's YouTube channels. The entire comments were filled with asking where the other person was. If you two had really broken up this would have been awful. Thank god you hadn't.

You both decided that you two should make at least one video addressing the rumors. On one of your tik toks someone had commented ‘Did you and Johnnie break up?’ so you replied to the comment with a video.

“Hey guys so a lot of people have been asking if me and my boyfriend Johnnie broke up, so today we are going to go ask him,” you said holding the phone up to your face as if introducing a vlog.

The next shot was of your feet walking up to Johnnie sitting on the couch. “Hey babe?” you asked, pointing the camera at him. “Yeah?” he answered back looking up at you. “Did we break up?” you ask as if it was a normal question.

“Umm last time I checked no,” he replied back trying to hold his smile back. “Oh ok, sweat just checking. Love you,” you said back moving the phone down as he broke his serious face and laughed with you.

You posted the tik tok captioned “addressing the rumors”

You cuddled up next to him and read the comments. Most of them were making fun of others for assuming things. The other half was just talking about how cute the two of you were together.

The following day the song and music video were posted and the feedback was worth it. You were so proud of Johnnie and all he had done but this song meant so much to both of you.

[ladykailitha]

Icarus Part 7

Hey, guys! I hope you're all still enjoying this story! It's a blast to write.

Here we have Gareth's explosion and the resulting fallout.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6

****

When Eddie got back to his hotel he had all three of his bandmates waiting for him.

Jeff had his arms crossed, glaring at the other two. “I’m here under protest, I told them you had messaged me that you wouldn’t be coming home last night but they still thought you were being kidnapped or some shit.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow at Gareth and Brian. “I’m a grown ass man who can do grown ass things like have sex with another man and spend the night.” He raised his had to stall the onslaught of questions that were no doubt about to screamed at him. “Of course I didn’t get papped. I never get papped. Jesus Christ.”

“We’re supposed to be working on our ninth album,” Gareth growled. “Fucking act like it.”

Eddie threw back his head and laughed. “You don’t get to say that this time. Not after what you and Bri did in London last time,” he hissed. “We had a chance to record in the actual fucking Abbey Road Studios and you two went on a three day bender where Jeff and I didn’t even know where you were. It got so fucking bad, you two have been banned from drinking at all this record.”

Brian had the decency to look chastised. But not Gareth, he doubled down.

“Which is why it’s so important that you don’t do it either,” he snarled back. “We don’t want to be kicked out of this studio too.”

“I was back before breakfast was being served!”

Jeff stood up and held out his hands. “All right, enough! Gareth this attitude is getting out of hand. No one has done more for this band than Eddie and you acting like he’s gonna do a runner at any moment is fucking ridiculous. And after all these years if he hasn’t run off yet, he sure as hell ain’t gonna now.”

“You need to work on your abandonment issues, dude,” Eddie snapped. “I have put my heart and soul into this band and I really don’t appreciate the constant insinuation that each concert, each album is going to be the last.”

Gareth stood up, fists clenched at his side. “You mean to tell me if Steve Harrington walked in here and offered to suck your dick in exchange for you quitting the band, that you wouldn’t?”

“Absolutely not,” Eddie said coldly. “And he would never ask. God.” He ran his hands over his face and began to pace. “His little brother is like our number one fan. You know that guy I took with me back to Hawkins?”

Gareth nodded curtly, but Eddie could tell he was starting to unbend.

“He loves our band,” he continued, pulling at his hair. “So that’s just one of many reasons why he wouldn’t. The biggest one, though, Gare.” He whirled around pointed directly at him. “Is that he knows what this band means to me and would never make me choose.”

His lip wobbled and the glimmer of unshed tears stuck to his eyelashes. “Because he loves me.”

Eddie sank to his knees, hands in his hair and began to rock back and forth.

“You take care of Gareth,” Brian said to Jeff, quiet but harsh into the silence that followed that statement. “I’ll take care of Eddie.”

Jeff nodded and bullied Gareth out of the room. The door closed and the remaining two could hear the harsh tones of the two who had left.

Brian got on his knees in front of Eddie and gently removed Eddie’s hands from his hair.

“Hey, Ed,” Brian murmured. “Can you look up at me for a moment? I need to make sure you’re okay.”

Eddie looked up at him. “That’s who I was with last night,” he whispered, his voice rough with emotion. “Steve said that he loved me and he kissed me, Bri. It was so special.”

Bri sighed and sat down cross-legged from him. “It’s that we’re all supposed to be sequestered and you snuck off, only telling Jeff where you went. So Gareth and I freaked out a bit.” He tilted his head thoughtfully. “Maybe a lot.”

Eddie ran his fingers through his hair, settling into a more comfortable position on the floor.

“Yeah, okay,” he said, his voice clearer than before. “That was stupid of me. But I don’t think it’s fair that Jeff and I are being punished by the label for something you and Gare did.”

Brian scooted forward until their knees were touching. “It’s not and I am sorry about that. My girlfriend had broken up with me at same time I learned that I was asexual and I was in a really bad place. But I shouldn’t have let Gareth talk me into that bender, there was no excuse.”

“I’m afraid if he has another outburst,” Eddie murmured, “that everyone is gonna want us to replace him. The label, our PR firm, even our Chrissy would be forced to concede that the band can’t continue with him in it. And I don’t want that. But I will not have my life dictated to by someone who is four years my junior.”

Brian let out a long shuddering breath. “You’re right. While we’re here, if he’s willing, we should get him some therapy. Because I don’t want to lose him either. You guys are my family and have been forever.”

“Back ‘attcha, Bri,” Eddie murmured. “Last night was so good and I had awesome news for everyone that I couldn’t wait to tell you guys.”

Brian chuckled. “Even more awesome then sex with Steve Harrington? Must have been off the charts then.”

“I snuck out to see The Fallen in concert,” Eddie said chewing on his lip.

“Of course you did,” Brian said rolling his eyes. “And of course if we’d all gone it would have completely ruined their last show because it would have been all about us and not them.” He stuck out his tongue. “You still suck though.”

Eddie laughed. “Just wait, it gets better.”

Brian waved his hand for him to continue.

“So I was also able to get backstage where I got to meet Abbadon–”

“Gareth is going to murder you and then bring you back to life so that he can murder you all over again,” Brian said dryly, shaking his head.

“Do you think he’ll grant me a stay of execution if I told him I asked Abbadon if he thought his band would want a chance to headline for us?” Eddie asked batting his eyelashes and clutching his hands to his chest dramatically.

Brian blinked at him for a moment. “I guess that would depend on if they said yes...” he said honestly.

“All of them have to agree,” he replied with a shrug, “but Abbadon was pretty sure that they would.”

Brian sat there a moment. He licked his bottom lip thoughtfully. “I think we should use it as leverage.”

Eddie’s head reared back. “What do you mean?”

“Tell Gareth that if he gets therapy, The Fallen will tour with us,” Brian explained. “But if he won’t, he has to take the tour off and go into rehab.”

“Oh.”

Eddie chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about it. “I think we should ask Jeff and if he agrees, then that’s what we’ll do.”

Brian nodded. “I love him like a brother, but this was the last straw I think.”

“Let’s call Chrissy in on this, too,” Eddie said.

“Yeah.” He let out a shuddering breath. “Okay, yeah. Let’s do this.”

****

They ended up staging an intervention and using The Fallen as incentive they all got Gareth to agree to counseling.

A therapist would come in twice a week and Gareth would have two hours sessions with this person.

They were carefully vetted by Chrissy and the rest of the band, but finally they decided on one that would help Gareth.

Dr. Sam Owens came in and Eddie, Brian, and Jeff all sat in Brian’s suite, waiting for him to be done.

They tried to work on music but it felt flat without Gareth there. They tried watching a movie but they couldn’t decide which one.

They simple sat in silence until it was five minutes before the session was up. Then they slowly made the trek to Gareth’s suite.

Dr Owens came out first.

“I can’t discuss anything that went on in our session,” he warned.

“It’s just–” Jeff said, distressed. “Are you going to work out with Gareth?”

Brian nodded. “We just want to make sure we don’t need to vet someone else. He’s okay with continuing to see you, right?”

Dr Owens softened. “I understand now. My apologies. Often managers and fellow band members ask– rather, they demand to know what was said.”

“Not cool,” Jeff said. “We’d never. We just want to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible, because we care. We want him to get better.”

Dr. Owens nodded. “Thank you. You should be all right to go in and see him. We didn’t get to anything gritty today.”

They all nodded and bid the doctor goodbye.

Jeff knocked on the door and was promptly told to come in.

All three of them slipped into the suite. Jeff and Brian surged forward and gave him a group hug.

It took them a moment but they realized that Eddie had been quiet this whole time, that he had hung back when they entered the room.

He stood in front of the door with his hands on his lower back, just watching them shower Gareth with affection.

But he didn’t know what to do. Gareth had really hurt him. Had made an event that had been so happy for him and turned it to ash on his tongue. His first time with Steve would always be tainted by Gareth screaming at him.

Steve had been so angry when he heard what Gareth had done and was ready to pull out of the tour, everyone else’s disappointment be damned. But Eddie had talked him down. Told him about the intervention. The deal that could be struck and Steve reluctantly agreed.

One therapy session didn’t make up for all the hurt and anger he had felt.

They all turned to look at him and Eddie felt like he was the one who was in trouble, not Gareth. His lip wobbled as he sucked in a breath.

He turned on his heel and would have ran if he hadn’t felt arms wrap around his waist.

“I’m sorry,” Gareth mumbled into his back. “God, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You’re my best friend. My brother. I’m so sorry, Ed. Please don’t go.”

Eddie wrapped one hand around Gareth’s arm and pressed the other against the wood frame of the door. He laid his head on the door and let out that shuddering breath in a long exhale.

“You hurt me so bad, Gare,” Eddie whispered. “I don’t know what to do with that.”

He could feel Gareth nodding into his back.

“I don’t know how you didn’t drown like the rest of us,” Gareth said. “But I want to be more like you, Eddie. Please don’t go. I don’t think I could take it.”

Eddie huffed out a sigh.

“It’s because I saw what the worst of those vices did to a person,” he said, slowly turning around so that they were face to face. “And I made a promise to my Uncle Wayne and on my mama’s grave that I wouldn’t turn out like my dad. It hasn’t always been easy, in fact it’s been fucking hard almost all of the time, but I work at it.”

Gareth had tears streaming down his face.

“You’ve got to let me live my life, man,” Eddie finished. “I won’t let you ruin a good thing that I’ve got going for me because you have abandonment issues.”

Gareth let out a shuddering breath. “Yeah. I promise to be better. I promise to stick with therapy. Just promise you won’t give up on me.”

Eddie wrapped his arms around his friend and held on tight. “I promise.”

****

Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17 Part 18 Part 19 Part 20 Part 21 Part 22 Part 23 Part 24 Part 25

Tag List: @mira-jadeamethyst @rozzieroos @itsall-taken @redfreckledwolf @emly03

@spectrum-spectre @estrellami-1 @zerokrox-blog @gregre369 ​@a-little-unsteddie

@chaosgremlinmunson @messrs-weasley @danili666 @chaoticlovingdreamer @maya-custodios-dionach

@val-from-lawrence @goodolefashionedloverboi @i-must-potato @carlyv @wonderland-girl143-blog

@justforthedead89 @vecnuthy @irregular-child @yikes-a-bee @bookbinderbitch

@bookworm0690 @anne-bennett-cosplayer @awkwardgravity1 @littlewildflowerkitten @genderless-spoon

@cinnamon-mushroomabomination @y4r3luv @dragonmama76 @scheodingers-muppet @ellietheasexylibrarian

@thedragonsaunt @useless-nb-bisexual @disrespectedgoatman @eyehartart @dawners

@thespaceantwhowrites @tinyplanet95 @iamthehybrid @croatoan-like-its-hot @papergrenade

@cryptid-system @counting-dollars-counting-stars

[shveris]

incorrect quotes collection, part 3

today i bring you: things that definitely happened in the canon (trust me i'm gege's pc)

part 1 part 2

megumi: any room can be a panic room if you’d just give me a fucking second

sukuna, during the heian period: i was born for politics. i have great hair and i love lying

noritoshi: poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses

miwa: this katana is actually a magic wand

momo: meet me in the inageya parking lot for a wizard duel

mai: *cocks gun* magic missile

kokichi: what the fuck is wrong with you people

yuuji: do you guys hear something?

sukuna: i hear the sound of you shutting the fuck up

satoru: what does 'take out' mean?

shoko: murder

haibara: dating

nanami: food

suguru: it can mean all three if you’re not a coward

shoko, on the phone with suguru: they’re in the kitchen again

satoru, in the background: “beat 3 eggs”… in what? hand to hand combat?

haibara, in the background: must be since nanami banned technique usage in the kitchen last thursday, remember?

suguru: gET THEM OUT OF THERE

megumi: goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out yuuji’s birthday invitations

maki: well, what are they supposed to say

megumi: “yuuji’s birthday”

panda: what do they say instead?

megumi: “yuuji's bi”

toge:

nobara: works out either way

sukuna: do you prefer gendered terms?

yuuji: i guess so

sukuna: fuck you

yuuji: where was the gendered term?

sukuna: in your mom

yuuji:

yuuji: my mom got dicked down by your twin which you ate in the womb

sukuna:

satoru: goodness me, it’s the perfect day for our hiking trip! bless mother nature

megumi, out of breath: mother nature is a WHORE

yuuji: what’s up guys? i’m back

megumi: what the- you can’t be here. you’re dead. i literally saw you die

sukuna: death is a social construct

satoru: died and came back as a cowboy, i call that reintarnation

nobara: wow, i don’t even get the joke but it sounds funny

megumi: that’s nOT. THE. FUCKING. POINT.

nobara: what the fuck yuuji, what are you doing here!?

yuuji: i missed you guys!

megumi: you just survived a car crash

nobara: the doctors said you have internal bleeding

yuuji: yeah, and? isn’t that where blood’s supposed to be?

megumi: i need to sit down…

these two are how yuuji's comeback should've went...

shoko: yeah, i'll smoke a joint tonight, but let's not get too crazy

*4 hours forward to shoko, suguru and satoru getting arrested for blocking the main road in large traffic cone costumes*

nobara: the only thing i'm guilty of is being gorgeous… and also assault with a hammer

satoru, on the night of the war delcaration: suguru, i’m sorry. i can’t keep seeing you anymore

suguru: no shit, you’re always wearing that blindfold

satoru: suguru… no…

nanami: gojo, we have a problem

satoru: what, the fire?

nanami: no, the- wait, what fire?

satoru: oh forget about it, this sounds more interesting

shoko: that was a joke. say ha

nanami: ha

shoko: now do it again

nanami: ha

shoko: congratulations, you are officially the life of the party

satoru: i would let you ruin my life

suguru: sorry, i’m busy ruining my own. you’ll have to wait

satoru, turning to suguru: my dick stopped breathing. it’s in desperate need of cpr

suguru: you’re in desperate need of a beating

shoko: or a lobotomy

suguru: both

shoko: if the beating is hard enough, it’ll count as a lobotomy

satoru: i always knew you guys were homophobic

satoru: none of those words are in the bible

shoko: psalm 119:105. “and jesus said unto his followers, should a manlet incel attempt to mansplain the blockchain to a girlboss, may she waste his time and yassify his blorbos”

suguru: he did not fucking say that

megumi: i taught my dog a new trick *throws ball* fetch!

dog: *just stands there*

noabara: he didn’t do it

megumi: that's because i taught him to ignore social conventions and think for himself

suguru: i’d kill someone if you asked me to

satoru: i’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if i didn’t ask you to

megumi: if bees can be fish and boys can be girls, then why did my dad sell me to the zen'in clan?

nobara: i thought i was going to have to yell at you, but now i think i should hug you

sukuna, on yuuji's cheek: the real secret to immortality? not dying. you want to be immortal? okay, that’s easy. just don’t die. that’s it. refuse to die. there you go.

yuuji: but how-

sukuna, ignoring him: “but how” you may ask. well, easy. just don’t do it. refuse to. say “no, fuck you”

nobara: i'm not creepy

nobara: i'm petty

nobara: there's a difference, ya know

waiter: what would you like?

yuuji: a milkshake with two straws

megumi: *blushes*

yuuji: *puts both straws in his mouth* watch how fast i can drink this!

haibara: ieri-san, is that my mug you’re drinking out of?

shoko: no, it’s mine

haibara: it… looks just like the one i have…

shoko: you don’t have one like this anymore

megumi: i'm a witch. i mixed some herbs and crystals together and now all my shikigami know the f-word

nobara: which one?

megumi: what do you mean?

nobara: there's more than one f-word

yuuji, entring the room: you talkin' 'bout faggots?

megumi: why would we talk about cigarettes?

sukuna: i'll offer you some friendly advice-

yuuji: i don't want your advice

sukuna: well, then consider it unfriendly advice

jjk manga ends in 30 days which means i'm gonna nap on the highway after that last chapter drops :muscle:

[kpopsexstories]

NCT Dream Dating Ban #7: Jaemin Pt. 1

NCT Jaemin can’t date girls. As his gay friend you help him out with his sexual needs. (Part 1 of 2)

Content Warning! This is a 100% gay story. Check out this post for my straight smut and this post for more gay smut.

Pairing: Top NCT Jaemin x Bottom male reader

Content: Jaemin takes you on a ride to his favorite nature spot.

Type of Sex: NO SEX (there will be in Part 2)

Word Count: 3.3k

Previous parts in the NCT Dream 'Dating Ban' series: Jisung Pt. 1, Jisung Pt. 2, Haechan, Mark, Renjun Pt. 1, Renjun Pt. 2, Jeno Pt. 1, Jeno Pt. 2, Chenle.

Jisung may be your best friend, but among the boys of NCT Dream Jaemin comes a close second. The first time you met you opened up to each other and the rest is history. You've always gotten along exceptionally well, and you have a lot in common.

Jaemin gets you, sometimes even more so than Jisung. You can talk for hours. You care for each other and have always been physical in the most platonic of ways. You'd go as far as calling him a close friend. It's a friendship you value highly.

So it's really a shame that you haven't really spent any time with Jaemin at all, now that your week-long trip is approaching its last day. You've been too busy pleasuring the other boys, completely enthralled by their desperate need for intimate release, and their total devotion to your body as their sex toy.

It's time to redeem yourself for your errors. You need to make up for your neglect. And what better way to do that than by giving Jaemin the personal attention you've already given everyone else?

Every time you come to visit Jisung there's something you and Jaemin simply must do together. You've always done it. You simply cannot end this trip without doing it with him again, to keep the tradition alive.

What you need to do is… to hop on a bike and go to Jaemin's favorite lake outside the city.

You have so much to talk about. You've had sex with six of the seven members, a shocking reality that is quite crazy now that you think back on it. And though Jaemin has politely kept his distance while you've let the other boys use you for their sexual pleasure, you know that he must have questions.

You're dying to tell him all about your exploits of the past week. And maybe you need some answers too. How did all this even happen? Jaemin will surely laugh with you, and be excited on your behalf.

But first, you need to go tell Jisung that you're about to head out.

“I'll go down to get the bikes,” Jaemin says and starts walking out the apartment door.

You nod at him. “I'll be right behind you.”

You've already put on your jacket when you walk through the corridor of the dorm, in the direction of Jisung's room near the living room. The very same room you've been staying in throughout your visit. The room in which Jeno fucked you good and Chenle experienced a most insane orgasm under your care.

Not to mention Jisung himself, whom you've been sleeping with every night since you arrived. You sure have created a lot of memories together in his bed.

The freshest one as recently as half an hour ago. When you open the door, Jisung is still laying naked and spent on top of the sheets. He's exactly where you left him when you went to find Jaemin and suggest you do the traditional bike trip before it's too late.

Jisung is on his stomach playing on his phone, his cute ass out and limbs spread wide on the damp sheets.

“God, let me open the window,” you say and frown. You've only now realized what a dank smell and poor air quality you've created.

Jisung turns his head in your general direction.

“We're heading out straight away,” you say and take a second to admire the view of Seoul. It's a beautiful day, perfect for the lake.

“Okay,” Jisung says and smiles. He rolls on his side and exposes his slack dick. ”Have fun.”

“Thanks,” you say and playfully slap his ass when you pass the bed. “I'll see you tonight.”

And with that, you leave one friend behind to go on an adventure in nature with another.

*****

The tricky part is to get out of the city. You're always amazed by the sheer size of it, and though the apartment complex in which your friends live isn't in the heart of it, it takes you a good forty-five minutes of biking to finally leave it behind.

“I forgot how exhausting this is,” you shout when Jaemin begins to race ahead of you.

“You say that every time,” he jokes and laughs.

But when you reach the start of a countryside road, and the houses around you become more scarce and replaced by fields and trees, you suddenly feel energized. The skyscraper scenery you've been living in for a week is soon replaced by a lush forest.

The air is nice out here, not at all like the sweat and recycled oxygen you've been breathing back home. And Jaemin appears to be in a really good mood. He doesn't seem at all upset that you've largely been ignoring him, and you finally remember why this tradition means so much to you both.

In reality, he’s just happy to finally have you to himself. He’d rather just forget about everything else you've been doing.

As you ride side by side, you talk about everything and nothing at all. The Dream teams’ most recent tour, and the recording of their next album which is nearly done. Your life back home, and how you wish you could visit more often. And the many old inside jokes you have, which make you laugh and forget all about how tired your body is feeling.

It's like this very moment is what the whole week has been building up to. Everything else that has happened suddenly doesn't matter. You feel good, really good.

Sadly, when he isn’t hiding from reality like this, Jaemin doesn't feel the same way at all, and his happiness is just temporary.

Despite having been to the lake on numerous occasions in the past you've forgotten the way. Jaemin has to lead you, and he rides ahead when you turn off the road and onto a path that takes you deeper into the forest. He's been oddly quiet for ten minutes.

You're headed for his secret spot. His hide-out away from the city. The long journey is certainly worth it, because you know that once you reach it you'll be surrounded by a calm and soothing atmosphere in a serene location. It's not entirely lost on you that Jaemin has made you one of the few who have ever been to this place.

An hour and a half after you set off, Jaemin gets off his bike and starts walking. You follow close behind. The path is too faint and bumpy to bike on.

“Remember the first time you took me here?” you ask.

“Yeah,” Jaemin says. ”It was the second time I met you. We stayed here for hours just talking. You had just broken up with your ex and told me about him.”

“I think that's when I realized you'd be a good friend. I was heartbroken and really needed a break. You were there for me.”

“Does it still remind you of him?”

“Hah!” you exclaim. “Not at all. He feels like a lifetime ago. Now it just reminds me of you guys. I guess next time it will remind me of all your dicks.”

The joke is the first time either of you bring up the sex you've been having. You're eager to know what Jaemin makes of it all, especially Renjun's hint that the boys aren't as straight as their image makes them out to be. It's a topic you're dying to discuss with your friend, to learn if the sex you've been having is really just a consequence of the infamous dating ban. But as close as you feel to your friend you're actually worried about what he might think.

“Yeah,” Jaemin says and smiles faintly. At least he doesn't appear to disapprove of the fact that you've slept with all his friends. “You've been quite busy.”

“Mm,” you grunt. ”Are you okay with that?”

“I wish I'd seen you more.”

“Yeah, I'm sorry. I promise I'll make it up to you.”

“How?” Jaemin asks, but that's as far as your conversation goes on the matter. For now.

The path has ended and the small lake in the middle of nowhere – which looks more like a large pond – presents itself to you.

“Wow,” you exclaim. It's mid afternoon and as hot as it will get, and the air is completely still. “The water is so calm.”

“Like a mirror,” Jaemin reflects.

You look at him and smile. “The usual spot?”

Jaemin doesn't answer. Instead he leans his bike against a tree, points to the left side of the shore, and starts whacking his way through the bushes.

*****

‘The usual spot’ is a clearing right next to the body of water, where rocks and soil and refuse from the tree tops has tamed the otherwise tall grass along the shore. Jaemin has brought a backpack from which he pulls out a large blanket.

He lays it on the ground while you talk and laugh, about memories and the future and more of your inside jokes. He seems to be back to his usual self again.

You've never considered yourself a nature person the way Jaemin is, but the scents and sounds of the forest – and the fact that you finally get to spend time alone with your friend – do have an impact on you. You've always appreciated this spot, almost as much as Jaemin does.

When you sit down on the blanket and lean on an arm behind you, Jaemin sits beside you and leans into your lap. You hold him around the chest and close your eyes, soaking up the warm rays seeping through the leaves of the tree tops.

“I brought wine,” Jaemin says. “And some snacks.”

“Then get them out.”

“Wanna go for a swim first?”

Your eyes suddenly widen. “Fuck!”

“What?” he asks.

”We left so quickly. I forgot to bring my swimwear.”

He looks up at you and chuckles. The smirk on his face is unmistakable. You're suddenly both thinking the same thing.

*****

Water is splashing around you and you laugh out loud when you rush out of the lake to return to dry land. You're in your underwear, as is Jaemin who is playfully chasing you.

“I can't believe you said that to him!” you exclaim when you bend down to grab Jaemin's towel. You hastily dry your body before you pass the towel to him.

“He had it coming,” Jaemin says and smirks.

“Where's the wine?” you ask.

Jaemin takes his bag and pulls out the bottle, while you sit back down on the blanket. The wet underwear instantly soaks it but it doesn't matter. The sun feels good on your skin after the cold swim.

Jaemin takes a sip and sits down beside you. He hands you the bottle while you glance across the lake in silence.

“So,” you say. “Are the guys really all straight?”

Jaemin puts his arms around his knees and looks at you with a serious expression. Water is dripping down his body. You suddenly get the feeling you shouldn't have asked the question so bluntly.

“You'd love it if they weren't, wouldn't you?” he asks.

You laugh out loud in an attempt to keep the mood light. “Yeah, I would. I mean, I guess it doesn't really matter, I get to taste their dicks anyway.”

“I can't believe you've been doing that,” Jaemin says. He finally smiles faintly though, as if he does approve and it's all just a fun game.

“I promise you I didn't plan to. They all came on to me first. That's why I'm wondering. They blame the dating ban, but Renjun said there's no shortage of women in your lives.”

“Renjun's gay,” Jaemin points out.

“Yeah, I know. But the others. I mean, Chenle I can believe is just desperate, and maybe Mark. And Jisung I already know about, we have fooled around in the past and he's definitely bi. But Haechan, Jeno… you?”

Jaemin doesn't respond. He lies down on his back and uses his bag as a pillow. He stares at the tree tops and leave you hanging, while you glance at his gorgeous chest and stomach.

“You know, I'm actually jealous of Jisung for that,” he eventually says but doesn't turn to look at you.

The remark takes you by surprise. “Jealous of what?” you ask.

He's finally brave enough to face you. “You said you'd make it up to me that we haven't spent much time together, right?”

You look at him with suspicion. “Yeeaah…” you say slowly.

“It's not just the dating ban. At least not for all of us.”

You can feel the seriousness in the tone of his voice.

“Then… what is it?”

Jaemin looks up at you, straight into your eyes, then quickly turns away. It’s like he’s afraid of something.

“I love you,” he almost whispers.

Now that is a surprise! you think. You stare wide-eyed and bewildered at him, but he still refuses to look at you.

“I… I love you too.”

“No, not like that,” Jaemin exclaims and rolls toward you. He's suddenly very close, and you feel as though he simultaneously wants to kiss you and kill you.

Your mind – after this whole week of him keeping a distance – is finally starting to catch on. Jaemin is actually serious. He's probably not happy about any of what has been going on this week. And you can't believe the thought has never even crossed your mind, after all these years you've known each other.

“Wait,” you say and scratch your head. ”So, you are gay?”

Jaemin rolls his eyes and slaps your bare thigh. “That is what you take from this?” he says and chuckles. It's a nervous chuckle, but you still don't fully pick up on what he's trying to tell you.

“Yeah. I mean… What?”

You suddenly twist your face and tilt your head. Are you actually hearing what you think you're hearing?

“Don't make me say it again.”

As the reality of the situation sinks in, you begin to relax and turn on your side, facing your friend on one elbow. There's suddenly a strong current running between you, and Jaemin most likely wants to roll over and die.

“I'm sorry,” you say and look at him with a sad expression. “I just… I didn't know.”

“It's okay,” Jaemin says. “I mean, it's not like I've been very straight forward.”

“No, you haven't. But, I guess I understand why. For how long?”

Jaemin can't stand it any longer. He pulls himself up on his elbows and stares across the lake again. “Since the first time I took you to this place, and you told me about your ex,” he says and looks around. ”Did you really think I kept taking you here for no reason?”

“I thought you took me here because we're friends.”

“We are friends,” Jaemin says. “But I… I dunno. You're an amazing guy. And yes, Renjun is right.”

There's a lot to process, and you don't know what to say. You genuinely do love Jaemin, but while you have always been able to appreciate his sexy body and enjoy his mind and personality, the thought of there being anything romantic between you has never been on the table.

For the first time ever you wonder if there could be. And you're suddenly overcome with the horrible feeling that you might have hurt him. The eagerness and excitement you once felt about talking with your friend about your week of sexual exploits is gone.

Jaemin, however, suddenly feels a need to explain himself, and backtrack a little on his words. “I mean, it’s not like I love you like that anymore. It’s been years. I’ve always had a crush on you, and I still do I guess, but I accepted that you don’t feel the same way a long time ago.”

You’re not quite sure what to respond. No, the feeling isn’t mutual, but at the same time your relationship is different from that of the other boys. It's deeper, always has been.

“You're amazing too,” you say. ”I do love you too. Just not… in that way. I’m sorry.”

Jaemin appears surprisingly calm and relaxed. Maybe he's just happy he finally got it off his chest.

Or maybe he's just desperate to change the subject, to move on from the agony he's going through in this very moment. Regardless, he decides that now is a good time to joke.

“The dating ban does affect us all though,” he says and chuckles.

His sudden change of attitude makes you feel at ease, to the point that you even laugh out loud, a sound that echoes across the water.

“What, are you desperately horny too, looking for a pocket pussy to fuck?” you joke back. Oh no, I shouldn't have said that.

But Jaemin has spotted an opportunity. He knows that he's dropped a bomb shell on you. He's realized that you aren't going to jump at him, tell him you've always loved him too, and make romantic love to him by the lake the way he's dreamed of. The dream in which you become an official couple – at this very place which he's picked especially for you – is not going to happen. Deep inside he always knew that, and if anything the week has proved it once and for all.

Perhaps he's still hoping, clinging on to the idea that you might actually have feelings for him too. Or maybe the dating ban is real and affecting him just as much as it's been affecting the others, making him as horny and starved as they've been.

It doesn't matter. All that matters is that he wants you, and that you've just brought up the possibility of sex, even if it might just have been a joke.

“Yes,” he says and rolls into your lap. He suddenly rubs his nose in your chest, and pushes his hip against yours.

Once again you're surprised by his actions. This day certainly is taking a lot of emotional turns.

For the entire time at the lake the thought of sex with Jaemin hasn't even crossed your mind. You'd given up on the idea of a seven-for-seven streak. Now, you're suddenly instilled with a glimmer of hope, though you know that it's a terrible idea.

“We shouldn’t…” you say.

“Why not?” he asks, almost begging.

“I don’t want to hurt you.”

“We’re well past that.”

You look down on his adorable head. Jaemin may be a good friend, someone closer to you than the others. And he might be in love with you, for real, in which case having sex would be a big mistake.

But things have worked out great with Jisung. And now, when he's proclaimed his love and is caressing your skin in the sun by the romantic spot he's always taken you to, how can you resist? You feel a tingle between your legs and a boner growing, and if he wants this just as bad as you do, how can you say no to his advancements?

You feel his wet lips when he kisses your skin. “You promised to make it up to me, remember?” he says while they jump slowly across your chest.

“No,” you whisper.

“Please. Forget what I said. The dating ban is killing me.”

“Are you sure?”

He stops kissing you and looks up, straight into your eyes. “Yes. Please, let me fuck you.”

You know it's a bad idea, but you also know what you want. Jaemin is the last missing piece and he's offering himself to you. Maybe this can lead to something good? You'll never know if you don't try.

Part 2 will be posted Thursday Nov 14, 2024,

[takeachillpillshawty]

Very specific TWST head cannons

Jack was accidentally given alcohol by a third year at a party because they thought he was also a third year.

Ruggie would make bets with students if they can guess Jack's age correctly.

Malleus would stay back at after the final class of the day just to sing, he likes the sound of the empty class room. He stopped doing that because a rumor about a "haunted class" was spreading.

Sebek yelled so hard one time, he couldn't talk the next day due to the pain.

Vil watches those self care videos, as in the earwax removal, black head removal, technically any of those gross removal videos. It's a guilty pleasure of his.

Cater is a hot cheeto girl, he and Idia would make ramen and put hot cheetos in it.

Silver is a heavy sleeper...like heavy sleeper. One time a fire broke out in Diasomnia and everyone was screaming. Only after the fire was out did he wake up.

Malleus used to talk to stuff animals as a kid.

Sebek monologues to himself, and everyone can hear him.

Sebek when he was a kid chased another child with a broken ruler for saying Malleus' name in vain.

Riddle and Jamil have this weird friendship, basically it's just them trying to relax but remembering there are idiots who are in the dorms and can't rest until they get things done.

Each dorm has their own WiFi router, Idia usually hacks into the others in case Ignihyde's one is down or he just want to see people's search history.... Let's just say he's not comfortable around certain classmates.

Idia permanently puts Ortho on child lock so people won't ask him to look up not so friendly things on the internet.

Ortho can get sick from viruses or corrupted data he accidentally downloaded.

Jade and Rook have a passive aggressive rivalry. Like imagine them in the botanical garden having lunch and Jade handed him a poison mushroom infused tea and Rook just 'accidentally' pours it in a plant watching it wither. While looking Jade dead in the eyes, both have smiles on there faces, as they passive aggressively try to kill each other.

Cater x Jade or Rook would be so fucking funny. Like imagine dating the most dangerous students in the school but hey at least the dick is crazy.

Trey has a collection of his baby teeth and his siblings baby teeth on his night stand. No-one brings it up...ever.

another reason why Cater doesn't eat sweets is because he'll get a tooth ache just eating a smore.

A student once asked Crewel if it was possible to make 'crack' in potionology..... Crewel wasn't getting paid enough for this.

Crowley has committed tax evasion.

Azul Is thicc. I said what I said, and don't boo me. I'm right.

Ruggie is banned from Monstro Lounge due to finding loop holes in Azul's contracts and getting free stuff.

Malleus hates cake with too much frosting, It defeats the purpose of the cake.

Malleus would use fae circles to teleport prefect to him.

Floyd likes to just bite things, especially his phone case.

Rook takes the best photos.

Sometimes people forget that Vil is an actor and model, so when seeing him in a movie, commercial or magazine they just get jump scared and remembered .

" oh yeah....Housewarden Vil is a celebrity.."

I think prefect is desensitized to meeting famous or high status people that they're not a big deal to them. Imagine Prefect going to a cafe and THE KALIM AL ASIM Is paying for their drink, everyone is shocked that someone who's richer than royalty is paying for you and all you say is " Oh thanks Kalim. "

I feel like up to book 6 every dorm leader helped out in repairing Ramshackle adding there own piece of their dorms in there. A gaming room from Idia, A luxurious bathroom with skin care supplies and designer clothes from Vil, pantry and groceries from Heartslaybul and Scarabia and a cook book from Trey and Jamil respectively. An indoor and outdoor pool from Savannah claw, wallpaper and decor from Azul, and finally furniture and jewelry from Malleus.

[1waveshortofashipwreck]

heyyy love ur stuff btw! Could you maybe do hc’s of how our boys when someone is being mean to the reader? Thanks ;)) Maybe like a modern AU? Or any AU you’d prefer, thank you!

Aaaaaaaa thank you for the ask friend!! I love this idea!!! So I pictured this in a Modern!AU where the pair is at a coffee shop waiting on their order. The Boy puts his arm around them and the person next to them just sneers and goes “Can y’all get a room? Or at least be with someone nice to look at?” OBVIOUSLY referring to y/n with just a palpable amount of spite and venom.

Dick Winters

I see him just hugging you tighter and maybe turning his back to the guy, like, if he's gonna be an ass about Dick's favorite person he doesn't deserve the time of day. He'd say something so sweet too like, “if you think anyone could be more beautiful than them, you need to get your eyes checked,” before planting a kiss on your cheek and grabbing your drinks.

Lewis Nixon

I can see him definitely getting irritated but also seeming kinda baffled? Like I can see him just saying something like, “Are you serious right now? You see how gorgeous they are, right? Who hurt you, man?” Like he’d be so genuine about it too, even scoffing and shaking his head while y’all walk out with your drinks - like, how tf can someone say that about the most perfect human on earth???

Ron Speirs

I have a strong feeling that the guy’s words leave his mouth before he saw Ron, because I just imagine the dude being Christianson in Bastogne, like, he see’s Speirs’ face and just feels as though he has Met His End. So all Speirs does is put his arm around you and say, “you wanna try that again?” the guy just stutters and replies, “you make a lovely couple,” before scurrying away. I can soooo see Ron just having a smug smile on his face before giving you a kiss.

Harry Welsh

Ok so considering this man got demoted from sergeant to private three (3) different times due to getting in fights I have a feeling he would just be like “OH ITS THAT KINDA PARTY HUH? YOU WANNA TRY SAYING THAT AGAIN ASSHOLE??” Like this dude could be twice Harry’s size but your Boy can and will throw hands to defend you and he’s not afraid to get hurt while doing it. 10/10 needs you to help with his bruised knuckles after but he apologizes and y’all enjoy your drinks (specifically savoring it because y’all got banned from the coffee shop).

Eugene Roe

I feel like this could go two ways - A) he tells the guy off (“why don’t you mind your business asshole”), holds you close to him, and grabs your drinks without saying a word, or B) he grabs you by the waist and just goes to town trying to merge your mouths into one. This man would just do everything in his power to put on display his love and passion for you. Soon enough the dude will get weirded out and leave, but not before Doc performs award-winning CPR.

Bill Guarnere

Oh boy we got Party Boy #2 over here. “Why don’t you shut ya yap before I shut it for ya?” Your mans would square up to the dude no questions asked. If the dude steps down, Bill would just say, “yeah, that’s what I thought,” before proudly putting his arm around you. If the dude makes a poor decision and steps up to Guarnere… next thing you know poor Bill is apologizing to you while you hold his cold brew up to his black eye to keep the swelling down… the dude apologized though! All thanks to Ol’ Gonorrhea.

Joe Toye

I feel like his reaction is betwixt Guarnere and Nixon. Like, for one thing, he’s genuinely confused. He just gives the dude his classic Eyebrows before pulling you close to him. At first he won’t say anything, but if the dude keeps going he’ll just say to him in a low voice, “you looking for a fight pal?” Honestly that would be enough to scare the dude away while Joe just hugs you tight and kisses your temple before the barista calls your names.

George Luz

This boy would twist the dude’s words perfectly. “Oh you’re absolutely right, they could get someone WAY hotter than me!” before smirking over at you. You can’t help but give George a playful smack on the chest before laughing with him and laying your head on his shoulder… then he’d totally just look at you and think “how’d I get so lucky???” we love a silly soft boi

Joe Liebgott

Fighty Boy #3 and you can’t tell me otherwise. It’d be similar to Guarnere on the ship - he’d have to make sure he heard the dude right at first… “What’d you just say?” like you can feel his angy levels rising by the second. The dude just goes, “you heard me,” and before anyone can even blink the dude is knocked out on the ground, like, the swifest punch known to man and it came from your boyfriend (kinda hot ngl) and you just give him a Look before he smirks and kisses the air from your lungs and… why were you mad at him again? And why are you getting thrown out of the cafe???

Floyd Talbert

Ok so remember how Roe gave you life-saving CPR? Tab’s first instinct is life-taking CPR, like, this man just glares at the dude before pulling you close by your waist (and maybe a hand on your ass because its Tab) and just going to TOWN on your lips, neck, wherever he can reach just to show the idiot dude how in love with you he is and how stupid he was to make that comment… of course instinctively your hands to Tab’s hair and y’all just get Lost in the Sauce and when the barista calls y’all’s names you don’t even hear them.

Shifty Powers

Asdf sweet baby angel would just hold you close and whisper to you, “I’m sorry you had to hear that, you don’t believe him right?” Just keeping all his attention on you and hugging you close with both arms just lovingly wrapped around you, both of y’all forget everything else exists and you just happily hold each other for a bit before you get your drinks (this is all unless shifty has his rifle then the dude’s Time Has Come courtesy of Darrell C. Powers).

ngl this might've been the most fun I've had writing something 🤣 Thank you again for the ask love!! Hope you have a wonderful day!

[tenpintsofsundrop]

What would Dick Grayson be like in bed? (Titans Kink Headcanons)

A/N: So originally I was going to publish all of these for all of the characters in one long post, but I got tired/creatively stalled out about halfway through, and it's just been sitting in my drafts unfinished for weeks now. So I have decided to post them for the characters one at a time so that way I can catch up on them and have the energy to complete them really well. The reader is meant to be completely gender neutral, and I don't really know how to put warnings on this, because there is mentions of kinky topics throughout, but it's basically just a list of kinks? Like, the content itself is like a warnings list for a fic. Main warnings are for kinky topics, Daddy kink, and discussions of BDSM.

DC Titans Masterlist

...

So... one of those things that is totally obvious to me from the source material is that Dick Grayson is Daddy.

Not just when it comes to Daddy kink (although he definitely does enjoy being called Daddy for sexual gratification). He is the living embodiment of the title of Daddy. And tbh, I think he would love being called Daddy in a non-sexual context - which might sound weird if you've never been in that kind of relationship before. But when you try it out with him, you would probably love it.

It's something he would find comforting. You calling him Daddy in completely non-sexual contexts when you have no sexual intent behind it - it would make him feel good because it brings the joy of having a long term partner who feels comfortable calling him that. And he would definitely also love the casual dominance of it. He would love feeling owned by you because he gets to wear that title 24/7.

But he would be likely to say that it's something the two of you can only do in private - like in text messages or when nobody else is around to hear it, because he holds the title very sacred and he doesn't want others to mock him for it, because it is like a safe space for him. Even if he would 'laugh off' any mockery of it, he would feel hurt deep down inside.

But anyway, speaking of casual dominance - it's something he is obsessed with. I think he loves BDSM as a lifestyle, and for him, when he has a partner, it definitely doesn't stop in the bedroom - he loves setting lifestyle rules for you as a way of taking care of you.

He will set rules about when you eat (to make sure you never miss a meal), what you eat - he wouldn't ban you from eating junk food, but he would limit your intake of sugar and make it mandatory for you to eat a certain amount of healthy foods, and if you have a bad habit of consuming too much caffeine or soda, he is sure as hell gonna use sexual punishments to curb it.

His goal with casual dominance and the rules he makes will always be to take care of you and improve your quality of life - including your physical health and your mental health.

Is he always dominant?

I think that he vastly prefers being dominant because he is a control freak who hates giving up any kind of control, and funnelling those feelings into a BDSM relationship can keep him from exerting his intense need for control in other areas of life - like having emotional fits when other people don't do what he wants and violently beating up criminals. And on very rare occasions, when he is with someone he knows very well and trusts, he will play the submissive role. But I don't think he would ever be a submissive in a long term relationship.

If his sub misbehaves, I think he would avoid using pain as a punishment. I genuinely think he wouldn't be into spanking or any other type of painplay, because at the end of the day - even if he's strict about rules, it really makes his soul ache to hurt you.

One of his favourite punishments is overstimulation. He loves giving oral simply for the fact that he loves overstimulating you with his tongue for hours, and he loves vibrators and even fuck machines for the same reason.

He would use attention denial or ignoring you as a punishment - denying you of affection, or going as far as to ignore you completely if you want to talk to him at all (unless it's an emergency, of course).

He would also use this punishment in combination with overstimulation - setting you up with a vibrator pinned between your thighs and leaving you alone until you're whining and desperate, begging for his attention and ready to apologize for whatever rule you have broken.

I can also see him being into semi-public sex. He would be the type of dom to enjoy putting a remote control vibrator in your underwear just to push the button and watch you squirm at the most inconvenient times. He would also love taking you out to dinner somewhere nice and teasing you under the table, living to see you squirm and become desperate for him.

He would love any kind of bondage - tying you up in different complex ways, blindfolds, gags, all of those kinky things. As long as it doesn't hurt you, he would love seeing you vulnerable and wanting - he would love seeing rope against your skin. (And he would absolutely have the patience and intellect to learn complex shibari just to tie you up.)

And lastly (one that is obvious to me from the show) - Dick has a breeding kink.

He wants to be a father so badly, even if it's unconscious for him - it would come out when he feels you squeezing around his cock. And whether you can get pregnant or not (and whether you want kids or not), he would be obsessed with roleplaying the act of knocking you up. He would be obsessed with seeing his cum leak out of you, and telling you how he's gonna knock you up while he's deep inside of you. The first time you tell him to ditch the condom while having sex, it drives him insane, and it's the best sex of both your lives.

(A/N: I think that's a good round-up of all my headcanons for him lmao.)

[olivia091108]

How to be a jackass:part 1

Summary:meeting bam and Ryan in westchester

Word count:3306

So far filming for season two of jackass has probably been the best time I’ve ever had even though I’m getting injured or pranked every day.

All the guys are great and at first I thought it’s gonna be awkward not only being the new person but being the only girl.Thank god I was wrong for once I don’t think any of them actually cared as long as I actually did gnarly stunts.

The only people I haven’t met are the boys from westchester but Jeff says that we’re gonna film a group stunt with all of us soon.

I’ve done some mediocre stunts like pouting glitter in my eye which didn’t come out for a week and licking a mouse trap Owch. I also did one with wee man where he dressed as a baby and put in a pram and when people would ask to see ‘my baby’ they would be kinda disturbed.

Today I walk on to set and check the stunt list. Today I’m gonna get a pregnant belly strapped to me and walk around town drinking some beer.

——————————————————

Time skip

After getting a mean old lady shouting at me for ‘destroying my baby’ Jeff called all of us over and told us that at 5:30am to meet here because we’re driving to westchester tomorrow.Jeff actually banned us from going out after like we usually would do we finished for the day and I got the bus back to mine and my sisters apartment

Don’t get me wrong I’m excited but really 5:30 I’m sure there’s no harm in waking up later. I walk into the apartment and go to my room to pack since we will be staying there for 5 days.

I walk into my room and start packing stuff but I can’t find one of my favourite tops so I walk into Ella’s room to see if she’s taken it and I barge in without knocking to see her and Oliver mud sex scrambling to cover themselves with the sheet.

“Get out!”

“In a sec do you have my blue top the one with the buttons”

“Are you serio-“ I sigh and lean against the wall and she knows I won’t leave until she gives it to me. “It’s in my closet” I walk over and grab it off the hanger and scrunch it up in my hands

“Oh yeah by the way I’m gonna be gone for a few day”

“Leave!” She throws a pillow at me but I dick out the room before it can hit me

An hour later ella and Oliver knock on my door and wait for me to reply before walking in with very serious looks on both their faces.

Y/n we need to talk to you about something. You can’t just walk in without knocking we don’t have any privacy with you.

Alright I’ll knock next time

“It’s not just the knocking you always come home late and wreck the houses remember you broke olis computer at like 5:30 you never clean up after yourself and we just think that you should move back with mum and dad because we can’t keep living with you.”

“What your kicking me out I pay rent here”

“You don’t even pay a quarter y/n your’e basically living here for free.I rang dad he said it was fine you moving back soon”

“You know I can’t do that el”

“You could always get your’e own place I could help you have the money know”

“Fuck you. you know what I’ll leave right now.” I grab all my clothes in my wardrobe and try to shove it into my small suitcase and mange to mostly zip it and I grab a few personal thing and hold my piggy bank under my arm before leaving

It might’ve been a irrational idea because now I have nowhere to stay for the night and I can’t go to my parents not how I left there

It’s 1am I might as well go to set and wait till morning but with busses not running I have to walk 5 miles uptown.

Once I get there I only have to wait 2 and a half hours so I set my suitcase down and use it as a seat I dig around in my pocket for the taser I took from Johnny just in case.

I feel a hand grab me and by instinct Tase whoever it was. By the time my eyes have adjusted I realise I must’ve fallen asleep and everyone’s here to go to westchester.

While Jeff is complaining the taser Dave asks if I’ve been here all night. Nah I just thought I should get here early yknow only been here half hour.

We separate into 3 cars to get there and I’m in with Johnny Dave and wee man. I’m in the back with Dave and decide to use the 6 hour car drive as an opportunity for some sleep since I got 2 hours max last night.

—————————————————-

I wake up not being able to breathe and feeling plastic on my face I try and pry one of my friends hands off of me but it’s no use and I have to rip the plastic bag now being able to breathe properly

I hear Knoxville’s laugh and a Camrea is pointed in my face all that adrenaline woke me up quick but I’m still not wide awake and I just flip him off while sitting up and stretching being confined in a car really isn’t the most comfortable thing in the world.

“Cmon y/n we’re here grab your bags.” I take my almost bursting suitcase and walk it into the large house we will be staying at. I hear taking and follow it to the living room seeing Johnny talking to the two boys I recognise from episodes but still haven’t met.

Jeff introduces them the one with the dark hair and blue eyes is bam and the blonde one with a beard is called Ryan. We all introduce ourselves and start chatting and getting to know eatch other. Another girl is here called Jenn she’s bams girlfriend she seems nice but I haven’t spoken to her much

I excuse myself to the bathroom and i see a blonde lady in the kitchen and ask her if she needs a hand. If you don’t mind that would be great

“I’m April bams mum it’s so nice to have you all hear but I am a bit worried honestly”

“Im y/n thanks for letting us stay and I promise I will try to protect you and your house.”

Me and April talk about all kinds of things and I soon meet her husband Phil who is such a sweetheart and it makes me feel even worse for him seeing how bam treats him.

I’m sorry your supposed to be getting to know eatchother and I’ve stolen you away thanks for your help with the dinner.

“Oh it’s no worries you seem wayy more interesting than them boys.”

Speaking of Chris has snuck up behind me and lifted me up and body slammed me onto one of the sofas it wouldn’t of hurt that bad if people weren’t sitting on it.

I sit up and move off of whoever I fell on and jsut laugh it off and I start talking to Ryan about some of his stunts and his life and what not. While telling me about cky videos and high school with his friends bam started to join in adding to the story.

After an hour of talking to the two of them we got along really well and had quite a few things in common with them. We got called for dinner and while I was eating I could feel myself drifting off even though I slept in the car for 6 hours.

I ended up face planting into the food which made everyone laugh and while I used the bottom of my shirt to wipe it off the topic of rooms came up.

Some people were gonna have to share because there’s not enough rooms Steve o and pontius are sharing as well as Dave and ehren. Johnny is with me and wee man and Preston are together.

We all go to our rooms and get unpacked and settled. “Yknow we’re only here for 5 days don’t you”.

“Can’t a girl have options” i didn’t want to tell Johnny about getting kicked out I just wanted to have fun here. While I get changed into my pjamas I get into bed and shut my eyes trying to fall asleep but either from the excitement of tomorrow or because I napped today I couldn’t.

I looked at the clock and it was 12:34 Knoxville was asleep by now I could tell by his heavy breathing. I decided to go downstairs and have some water so I snuck out of my room and when I got downstairs I see Jenn down their about to leave

“How come you aren’t staying?”

“Bams just being a bit of a dick right now but I’ll see you in a couple days bye”

I sit in the kitchen having some water and once I’ve finished I still don’t feel like sleeping so I decide to look around. As best as you can in the dark. I quietly open the front door and step into the garden it had a skate ramp and a swimming pool in it. I went to go back inside but the door is locked I’m not gonna ring the doorbell or id wake everyone up.

I walk round the back and I see a window open so I jump from the ramp to the roof and pull myself up I walk along to reach the window but I see something move next to me. It’s a squirrel. Shit I’m fucking terrified of them they’re Satan reincarnated.

“Oh my god oh my god stop”I try to move as quick as I can to the window and quickly climb in to the room and close the window quietly while repeating those words.

“Jenn I told you to go away”bam room shit. I don’t answer and attempt to just get out of the room but I step on something and it slips out from under me and I fall onto the bed.

“Shit sorry.” Bam leans over and turns his bedside lamp on and rub his eyes. “What are you doing”

“I got locked out of the house then I had to climb threw your’e window to get away from the squirrel like I said sorry and night.”

“Are you on something” bam asks not believing me. I pull a confused face not knowing why he would be confused. “ why were you running from a squirrel?”

“Cos they’re fucking scary haven’t you seen Charlie and the chocolate factory?” At my distress yknow way he does. Laugh.I soon join in and we’re just sat they’re laughing together in His room.

Once the laughing stops he breaks the silence. “How did you even get up here?”bam asks thinking back on my story “I jumped off your ramp.you any good at skating”

“Yeah pretty good you?”

“Stepped foot on one once and fell onto someone’s bed. It seems pretty cool other than that though”

“I could teach you sometime.”

“I’ll hold you to that bam” me and bam speak about anything and everything with me now sitting above his covers on his bed and we switched the lamp off.

He tells me all about his family and when he asks about mine something in the room shifts it’s awkward.

Well I actually left home when I was 16 because me and my mum never got along she always preferred my sister i always hung out with my dad but I didn’t have many friends but these girls invited me to hangout with them and I snuck out an we went to some abandoned school and we would go there smoke some weed and whatever and once we were spray painting and the police turned up my friends ran and a policeman got me and I kicked him in the balls and they took me to jail and when my mum got that call she went crazy she said she was so disappointed in what I’ve become and that she won’t bail me out because she didn’t actually want me to come home. My dad eventually came in and took me home but I got there and my room was all boxed up and she kicked me out and said she didn’t want to see me again so I moved in with my sister.

“I’m really sorry I didn’t know”

“Yeah well how could you I don’t tell anybody so I’m could u try not to mention that”

“Pinky promise”we interlock pinkies and I kiss my hand and he copies.the conversation moves on and soon enough we’re shushing the other to stop Laughing until I notice the clock and see that it’s 2:12 and I can tell bams tired and I am as well.

“Wait y/n it was cool talking to you and if you need to talk I’m always here.” I grab a pillow an throw it at hand face. Don’t get all sappy now bam I thought you were supposed to be a cool skater boy.

I leave and head back to my room and wriggle into bed having to shove Johnny over a bit and for a second I lay there thinking about bam and how much I trusted him I wonder what tomorrow will be like before I know it I’m out like a light.

This one was acc really long

Omg guys I’m so pissed I wrote this like a week ago but I didn’t press save and I LOST RVEYTHUNG the first one was way better

Requests always open

-liv

[thebisexualdogdad]

Jason Todd x Male!MMA fighter reader headcanons

*Oliver Stark used as a fancast*

● you're a personal trainer by day and underground mma fighter by night

● meeting Jason at the gym you work at and always checking each other out

● you'll be with one of your clients and smiling at him across the room while he tries to impress you by upping the amount of his weights

● "I noticed you've got a lot of scars, must have a lot of good stories to tell" you say when you finally talk to him for the first time

● "well how about you let me take you out to dinner and tell you some of them"

● while he doesn't exactly lie about how he got his scars he doesn't tell the entire truth about him being a crime fighting vigilante either

● he plays it as he just happens go be at the wrong place at the wrong time a lot

● you guys spend a whole lot of time together at the gym

● competing to see who can lift more

● and run a mile quicker

● sparring until you can't feel your arms anymore

● he's at the gym so much all of your clients know him

● "So how long until I get biceps as big as your boyfriends Y/N?"

● "it takes a lot of dedication to get biceps like these" Jason says flexing proudly

● Jason actually learns a lot of new moves from training with you

● Dick after a fight where they took down twenty bad guys "that was impressive Jason where did you learn that from"

● "Y/N taught me, you should take a few lessons from him maybe you could actually be a good fighter too Grayson"

● "ha ha very funny don't forget who's been doing this longer"

● going on long motorcycle rides with Jason

● you two race throughout Gotham weaving in between cars

● and loser has to pay for dinner

● Jason doesn't do much upkeep of his apartment

● he's got leftovers in his fridge that are so old its created its own ecosystem

● and there's dirty laundry laying all over the floor

● "when was the last time you did a load of laundry?"

● "well considering I haven't worn any underwear in over a week I'm gonna say a while"

● the very first time you went to his place you were surprised by all the books scattered around

● "I didn't take you to be such a bookworm"

● "do I get to keep my bad boy title if I tell you I'm banned from three libraries for not returning books?"

● this leads to a lot of coffee shop dates where you just quietly read next to each other and enjoy one another's company

● Jason goes to all of your fights

● he always gives you a good luck kiss in the locker room, "go out there and kick some ass babe!"

● you win the majority of your matches so there's a lot of celebrating with Jason after at the bar

● but the one time you got the shit beat out of you Jason had to fight the urge to not to murder the guy right there in the ring

● he and your manager carry you back to the locker room and get you cleaned up and Jason is pissed

● "Jay you gotta calm down I've done worse to people in the ring"

● "yeah but those guys aren't my boyfriend"

● your manager "you've got a lot of passion kid you ever think about signing up to fight?"

● "trust me I do enough fighting just not for money"

● your manager "what, are you involved in a gang or something?"

● "something like that"

● Jason thinks you still don't know about his secret identity but you figured it out a long time ago

● you don't say anything because you want him to feel comfortable telling you himself

● whenever that may be

[enjoythesilentworld]

Wille's Month - Frogs

day 19! @youngroyals-events luv <3

Wille and Simon go camping. It goes better than last time. Mostly.

read below or on ao3 (M, 1.3k) cw: sexual content

They hadn’t discussed their last shitshow of a camping trip in a while. When they first did, Wille had apologized profusely for being a bit of a fucking dumbass and they’d talked through it. Simon had forgiven him, eventually, knowing that it was out of anger and panic over everything else going on at the time. Wille still felt like a bit of a dick about it, though. 

It’s in the back of his mind now, of course, as they hike in their stuff from the car to their little designated camping spot by the lake. They’re miles and miles from Hillerska, it’s late summer rather than early spring, and it’s been five years since that turbulent time, but it’s all reminiscent, nonetheless. 

The flat spot meant for their tent is tucked underneath a large conifer with low hanging branches, a few meters from the shoreline. It’s absolutely beautiful. Simon drops the tent and sleeping bag, and Wille walks up behind him to wrap his arms around his sweet boyfriend. 

“You think we’ll run into any issues?” he asks, speaking into the warm skin of Simon’s neck. “You and I don’t have too good of a track record with lakes, or camping, for that matter.” 

Simon laughs. “We’ve made up for that plenty over the past few years, I think. Unless you have plans to make this a repeat of those times?” 

“Definitely not.” Wille nips at the sensitive skin under Simon’s jaw. “I have very, very different plans, in fact. Except for the skinny dipping, maybe. That can stay.” 

Tilting his head back to expose more skin, Simon leans into Wille and hums in approval. “I like the sound of that,” he says. “But we’ve got to set up the tent first. Let’s see how your skills have improved.” 

Setting up the tent is a shitshow. Wille claims he can do it by himself — turns out he cannot. Eventually, he gives up and allows Simon to help, but even then, it takes them a good 30 minutes to set the damn thing up. Finally, they can climb inside and set up their bedding for the night before flopping down on top of their sleeping bags. They’re both sweaty and slightly out of breath, which is a bit embarrassing. Tents had no business being so complicated. 

Simon rolls onto his side and Wille does the same. They lie there, nose to nose, smiling and listening to the sound of the lake and the trees. 

“Hi.”

“Hi.” 

“You’re hot when you get all frustrated.”

Wille huffs and rolls his eyes. “The instructions were unclear.” 

“That was a compliment, baby,” Simon says, reaching out to grab Wille’s hip. 

“Oh. Yes, well, just wait until you see me chop wood later for the fire,” Wille whispers huskily, curling an arm around Simon and pulling them flush. 

“We can’t light a fire, there’s a burn ban.”

“You know what I mean,” Wille grumbles, then leans forward. “Just come here.”

Simon grins into the kiss but Wille is determined to turn that smile into something entirely different.

Just as he's planned, the kiss quickly turns less sweet and Wille‘s pulls at Simon’s hips until the man is straddling him. Simon resituates so his knees press into the sleeping pad on either side of him, then buries his hands in Wille’s hair, pulling lightly. A slight moan escapes him and Simon swallows the sound, dropping his hips to rest more firmly on Wille, then slowly grinding down. 

At the friction, Wille gasps out, “Fuck,” then lets his hands travel all over Simon’s body, from his neck to his waist to his ass, touching everywhere he can reach, caressing and kneading and loving. Simon lets out a beautiful gasp when Wille’s hips buck up into him, then redoubles his efforts, grinding down harder. 

A slap against the tent makes Simon pull back abruptly. 

“What was that?”

Wille, upset by the loss of contact, is already reaching up to pull Simon back into him. 

“The wind probably knocked the tree into the tent,” he mumbles, curling a hand in Simon’s hair. “Baby, c’mere, please.” 

Simon obliges, indicating he’s refocused on Wille by grabbing both of his wrists and pinning them to the ground above his head.

"What do you want?" he asks, staring down with dark eyes.

"You."

Wille groans when Simon latches onto his neck. He alternates between loving pecks and harsh nips on the sensitive skin there, then pulls back again. Wille is about to complain, but quickly realizes Simon’s intentions and uses his newly released wrists to rip off his shirt, and then Simon’s. He falls back into the puffy sleeping pad, staring up at his beautiful boyfriend, hair wild and lips flushed red. Love and adoration pulse in his chest. That they can be here, together like this, with no other worries or pressures or fears, it means everything. It also means Wille would very much like to fuck his boyfriend, immediately. 

With a renewed fervor, Wille flips them so Simon is now the one pressed down into the slippery material of the sleeping bags. Intent on giving Simon millions of new tent memories to make up for old ones, he puts his mouth to Simon’s stomach and his hands to the buttons of his pants. From above, Simon lets out a moan when Wille mouths over him through the thin fabric of his boxers. 

Another two smacks hit the side of the tent and Simon sits halfway up. 

“Seriously, what the fuck is that?” 

Occupied with pulling Simon out of his boxers, Wille doesn’t answer. He could not care less right now, distracted by wanting– needing to have Simon in his mouth. But, Simon stops him by grabbing him by the chin. 

“Wait, baby,” he says gently, “did you hear that?” 

Wille looks up at Simon with wide unfocused eyes. “No?” 

The word is punctuated by another handful of smacks against the tent. Based on the shape and location of the shadows, it is most likely not a tree branch. Refocusing a bit more, he thinks he can hear an odd, low staccato outside the tent, slightly muffled by the sound of the water.

Wille sits up. “What the fuck?” 

Tucking himself back into his pants, Simon asks, “Are we about to get killed by a bear or something?” 

“I don’t think a bear would be slapping our tent like that, Simon.”

“Oh, you’re a bear expert now?” 

Wille ignores his boyfriend’s sass — knowing it’s out of fear — and moves to unzip the tent flap. 

“Wait, seriously, what if it’s dangerous?” 

He turns back and glances down at Simon’s lap, where he’s clearly still hard, despite the threat of imminent death. Wille would very much like to be handling that, instead, but Simon had been the one that stopped them. “Would you rather we stay here? Or do you want to check?” 

Simon bites his lip, then nods. “Let’s check.”

Still too turned on to be afraid, Wille unzips the tent. 

Drawing out each syllable, Wille says, “What… the… fuck…” Then, he breaks into laughter. 

“What? What is it?” Simon scrambles forward to look over Wille’s shoulder. “Oh my—”

Outside the tent, there is what can only be described as an army of frogs. At least a few hundred cover the ground surrounding their tent. The slapping of dozens of little bodies rings out as they jump around and land on top of each other. It's like a little brigade of frogs has descended from the heavens and landed right in their campsite. A few jump too close to the open flap of the tent and Simon flinches backwards. This must be some kind of ecological disaster, Wille distantly ponders. It could not be good for the lake to have so many frogs all in one place.

“How…” Wille trails off, looking around in astonishment. 

Simon lets out a burst of laughter. “What the hell do we do?” 

Wille pauses, trying to think through the haze of want in his brain. 

“Well,” he starts, turning back toward Simon, “they can’t get in if we close the zipper.” 

A slow grin grows on Simon’s face. “Get over here, my frog prince.”