#bamf disney princesses

[autisticlancemcclain]

parts one two three four

———

Lance wants to bolt the second they step out of the castle, but he knows better than that. So he waits, watching them carefully from the windshield (he’s got no better word for it, okay) of the bridge until they’re itty bitty specks. Then he throws on his backpack, grabs his scanner, waves to his pets, and runs in the direction the beast was last seen.

He keeps up a pretty quick pace for a while, not bothering to muffle his footsteps — he doesn’t want to startle the poor thing — and keeps his ears peeled for the sounds of a large animal making its merry way through the woods.

By ‘large’, he means ‘unfathomably gigantic’, because everything on this planet seems to be. Every tree is as wide as four Hunks, and taller than the castle. The various small woodland critters he’s seen running around have been at least the size of Pidge. Idly he wonders how the hell the evolution on this planet even worked, because all the flora and fauna seems to be gigantic, but the people here aren’t much bigger than humans.

He eventually starts to hear the sound of running water, and wastes no time following it. If he’s correct — and he truly thinks he is, as does Coran — this beast will be sitting carefully by the river’s bank, waiting for fish to swim close to it.

See, Lance is almost sure this beast is the planet’s equivalent to a grizzly bear.

And he’s positive it’s injured.

It’s the only thing that makes sense! He did some light research last night, and discovered that the planet is right in the midst of their springtime. He also discovered that, over the winter months, the planet’s city limits had expanded pretty dramatically, cutting into a large chunk of the forest. Lance believes the new city limits bled into the bear’s hunting grounds, and when the bear woke from hibernation in the spring and went looking for food, it ran into the new neighbourhoods. Startled, of course, it got defensive, only further terrorizing the people. Lance thinks that the bear was dazed enough to be hurt by the city’s armies, and now the bear is in pain and full of anger towards the new animals in its territory.

Of course it’s attacking.

Now, if only the team stopped a goddamn second to listen, and I wouldn’t have this problem, Lance thinks to himself, but pushes the thought away just as quickly, scowling to himself.

He forces himself to pause the reflection and save it for later, because it’s not the right time. He’s on a mission. He doesn’t have time to feel sorry for himself, let alone have time to be mad at the team.

It’s just as well that Lance pulled himself out of his thoughts, because straight ahead, looking at him warily, is the bear.

And oh, what a beast it is.

The dignitary — not to give him any goddamn credit, the bastard — was barely exaggerating. The bear is huge. It’s definitely not bigger than a castle, sure, but it’s big enough that Lance knows to keep a respectful distance, and right now the bear is sitting. He can’t imagine how scary it would be on a rampage.

For the first time, a tiny tendril of guilt crawls up his spine. The dignitary might be a pompous dick, but Lance is starting to realise that’s coming from a place of genuine fear, for themself and for the people they represented.

(Lance is still not going to kill the bear, obviously. It’s not the bear’s fault that it’s scary. But Lance is willing to admit that he did not handle the situation with the dignitary like an adult, and especially not like a paladin, and probably owes them a bit of an apology.)

“Hey, there,” Lance says softly, slowly swinging off his backpack and setting it down in front of him.

The bear growls in warning.

“I know, I know, you like your space. I’ll stay over here for now.”

Without looking away, Lance crouches down, blindly searching around the bag until his hand wraps around the two objects he’s looking for. He slowly takes them out and carefully sets one of them — a back of Altean-style dehydrated wild berries — on the ground in front of the bag. With his other hand, he pours a steady stream of water on the pouch, and he and the bear both watch as the pile of berries gradually grows in size until it’s the size of Lance himself.

Lance sits next to them, criss-cross-applesauce, with his backpack on his lap.

“These are for you,” he says, tone even. “I figured it might be pretty hard for you to forage or hunt right now. You must be hungry.”

Logically, it should be impossible for the bear to understand him. But it must like his tone, because slowly — ever so slowly — it uncurls, keeping a careful eye on Lance as it limps over to him and the berries next to him.

Its legs are the size of Earthen tree trunks. Its head alone is bigger than Lance. Its teeth —visible now that its mouth is open, tongue hanging out, salivating in anticipation of the wonderfully juicy berries — are sharper than any razor.

Lance should be afraid.

He’s not.

“Oh, you’re a beautiful thing,” he coos as the bear leans forward and takes a tentative bite from the pile.

The bear side-eyes him — a look that so clearly says ‘bitch, please’ that Lance can’t help his laugh.

“And you take no shit, huh?”

The bear grunts, apparently deciding the berries are safe, and then digs the hell in. It devours the pile so quickly that it’s there in one second and gone in the next.

Once the pile is finished, the bear turns to look at Lance expectantly.

Lance holds his hands up. “I got nothing!”

The bear huffs — no, really — and ambles closer to Lance. It lowers its great head down, and with a nose bigger than Lance’s head, starts sniffing Lance’s backpack for more.

Lance laughs again. “There’s nothing in there, you silly creature. No food, anyway.”

The bear finally decides he’s telling the truth — or, more likely, doesn’t smell any more food — and flops to the ground, looking to Lance in what he can only describe as petulance.

“I have no more food,” Lance says again. He reaches out hesitantly, slowly, and carefully rests his hand in between the bear's cute little ears when it makes no move to stop him. “But I might have more help for you, though.”

The bear rumbles. Lance takes this as an indication to continue.

“I noticed you were limping. Your front right leg. You’ve got some matted blood on there, too. If you’ll let me, I can clean that wound, stitch it right up, and you’ll be as good as new. That sound okay?”

The bear doesn’t make any more noise, but it does flop over on its side, leaving its right side up for access.

Lance takes a deep breath.

“Okay, big guy. Let me fix you up.”

He gathers up his bag and walks over to the wounded leg in question. He inspects it, but can’t really see the wound under all the blood.

“I’m going to clean it first, okay? I’ll get some river water first. That’ll be better than antiseptic.”

The bear grunts.

Lance grabs a clean cloth out of his bag — really, it’s a queen-sized sheet, but in comparison to the bear looks as small as the tiniest of rags — and soaks it in the frigid river, ringing it out as best as he can with his tiny human hands.

He walks back over to the bear and begins gently wiping away the nasty, coagulated blood from matted fur. It takes a while, but he’s eventually able to see the wound.

He does not like what he sees.

The wound starts cleanly, like it was a cut, but then looks torn, like the flesh was ripped. Lance isn’t sure what weapon may have caused it — that’s more of Keith’s thing — but knows it was certainly no natural cause.

“I’m going to need to apply quite a bit of antiseptic,” he tells the bear, even though the bear most certainly does not know what that is. “It’s going to hurt, but I need to do it, because it already looks a little bit infected.”

He opens his massive tub of antiseptic and holds it out for the bear to sniff. Its giant nose wrinkles, and then it looks pained, but it carefully lays its head back down on the ground and tenses its muscles.

Lance takes that as permission.

“Sorry, sorry, I’m sorry,” Lance babbles as he pours the horrible chemical over the wound and the bear roars in agony. “I know, I know. I know. It’s okay. Let it out. It’s done, now, once the sting fades.”

The sting must fade eventually, because the bear quiets, although it breathes heavily and remains tense.

“It’s okay,” Lance whispers, petting the first patch of uninjured fur he can reach. “It’s alright. The worst part is over, okay? That hurt so bad that you’ll barely even feel the stitches, okay? Just the smallest pinch.”

The bear whines, high and long, and Lance bites back tears.

This could all be avoided if people just used some compassion, for fuck’s sake.

He closes his eyes and swallows roughly. That’s not fair. It’s unlikely that anyone meant for this to happen, and it’s unfair for Lance to blame people. Sometimes life just sucks.

But it’s his job as a paladin to make it suck marginally less, and by God, he is going to do his job.

“Ready for the stitches, big guy? It’s the second-to-last step.”

Lance reaches into his back again and digs out the absolutely giant suture needle, so big it’s basically a weapon, and the beast-sized sutures. He gets to work carefully stitching up the wound, applying every ounce of Abuela’s sewing lessons into his furrowed brow and steady hands.

It takes a while, but eventually the wound is closed up neatly.

“Almost done,” Lance assures the bear. It makes an almost purring noise in response, which makes Lance beam in delight.

He takes two last things from his pack — some Altean antibiotic numbing ointment, and a mummy’s amount of bandages.

“This’ll be cold,” he warns, before spreading a generous amount of the ointment onto the wound. The bear audibly sighs in relief, slumping further into the ground as its muscles finally un-tense.

Lastly, Lance carefully wraps the wound in the bandages until it’s completely covered, then stands back, hands on his hips, to access his patch job.

“I think you look okay!” he says with a grin. “Try standing.”

The bear gets up using its three unharmed legs, then gingerly applies weight to the injured one once it’s balanced.

It blinks.

It applies more weight.

Suddenly it roars, in delight this time, and ducks its head to nudge Lance gently in thanks. Lance laughs, petting the creature everywhere he can reach.

“You’re welcome!” The bear makes that almost-purr noise again, and Lance sighs. “Now all we gotta do is convince this whole damn planet that you’re a big, giant softie.”

The bear pulls its head away, making Lance pout, and stares at him for a moment.

“What? You have any bright ideas? I, unfortunately, did not plan this far. I kinda thought something would come to me on the way.”

The bear grunts. Then it opens its great jaw, reaching for Lance, but it doesn’t eat him — it carefully hooks Lance’s hoodie in its teeth, lifts him up, and tosses him gently on its back.

Lance blinks.

“Well this is a — development.”

The bear grunts again, pawing at the ground. It starts off down the river, but not in the direction where Lance assumed its cave to be.

It’s headed to the city.

“What’re you — oh,” Lance cries, and is a little embarrassed to be outfoxed by a bear.

“That’s a great idea! If the people see you treating me gently, then won’t be so scared, and I’ll be able to explain. You’re so smart!”

If Lance didn’t know better, he’d think the bear seemed smug.

But he does know better, so he gets comfortable, organizes his pack, and starts planning what he’s going to say to make this whole crisis blow over.

[marinerainbow]

Ok I know i said I was gonna wait until you answered all the fics, but then I saw the first thing you wrote.

Dragon!Smartass and HostagePrincess!Poppy???? Phantom!Smartass and Christine!Poppy?????? Are you trying to make me go into shock??? Do you want me to die? Well you SUCCEEDED-

Oh? What do you mean? I meant no such t h i n g by that line! I don't know what you're talking about >:)

Ok I'm supposed to be sleeping... But I had to write what I'm certain is going to be my favorite of all the 'what now' scenarios with the ships. Smarty-Pop.

~

This was (is?) a rather... Strange hostage situation. For everyone involved.

Poppy had always managed to bring out Smartass' softer side. Sure, he may yell at times, though it was because his buttons got pushed too many times that day, not because he was angry at her. And Poppy was the one who could calm him down while everything was going insane. So seeing him grab her so roughly and sneer in her face that night had been a shock and a half for everyone. And it was even more jarring when he announced that she wasn't allowed to leave the house anymore.

It wasn't like he had her tied up though. He had threatened to do it, but he hadn't. She wasn't even locked up in the basement or anything; Poppy still had free reign around the house, and Smartass made it clear that she was still to be respected as his girl- though nobody was to to follow any orders she tried to give, not that Poppy used that power anyways did she even realize she was given that authority? And aside from the first few days he had been gruff with her, still feeling hurt and angry that she threatened to leave, she wasn't in any real danger... Honestly, if it weren't for reason behind her house arrest, and the fact that she wasn't allowed to be alone anymore, things would have seemed normal.

But it wasn't. Everyone knew that their relationship was never going to be the same again. It was especially obvious whenever Poppy's begging could be heard behind their closed door; pleading her questionable lover to stop this horrible plan of the judge's. Begging him to see that all this was insane... Just wanting him to not be the evil weasel that he was drawn to be.

It wasn't just her that was affected by her imprisonment, too. Stupid had no idea who to listen to now; his boss and brother, or his sad little friend. Psycho, Poppy's best friend, thought it was nice that they didn't have to worry about how they'd get her out of town now. But he didn't like the way Smartass had been making her cry lately. Wheezy knew that this was wrong, but he also knew when the boss' mind was made up, so all he could do at this point was try to offer a comforting ear to Poppy. And Greasy... She wasn't sure how he felt about this, but he and Smartass' had been having a lot more conversations in Spanish lately, and they seem to be talking about her.

As the week went by, it was also clear how much of a toll this was taking on the rabbit. She just looked so war torn, like she was in a terrible battle- which she technically was. But she didn't stop trying to reach through to Smartass. Even on the day they were all packing everything up to move into their new home, Poppy still tried to stop it, claiming that, "Toontown is our home. Everything we love is here. "

Of course, it didn't work. It only made the boss more frustrated that they were, "Fallin' behind schedule. Now get in the car, 'Pops."

There wasn't a big celebration the night they came home. Everything had gone according to plan, and there was nothing but opportunity left for the weasels now... But there was still one problem that Smartass had been dreading preparing to face while the others were distracted with their own activities.

For the first time in what was far too long, Smartass was actually careful with Poppy. Quietly opening the door to the room she had been kept in and sitting down beside her before untying her- the only time he had actually used the rope against her, and it was only to make sure she didn't run while they were all gone. Brushing the stray curls away from her face, trying so hard to be gentle again just like how they were before, "It's done. It's just us now, sweetheart..."

For a few seconds, she doesn't respond. Those few seconds grated on his already uneased nerves, but when she tilted her head to look up towards him, it felt like a punch to the gut. No warmth in her eyes, yet no denial either. She was frowning at him, but not glaring either. There was no anger or disgust for what he had done... Just miserable defeat.

The sight twisted the hardened criminals heart. He didn't delude himself into thinking she'd be happy, but this? Shaking his head, Smartass decided to try to pull her in for a hug. It had been a while since he could hold her like this, and he... They needed it, "Things are gonna be different now, but it'll be good out here. I promise."

She didn't wrap her arms around him, but she didn't try to pull away. She almost felt like a limp doll in all honesty. They were so close now, he could hear her loud and clear despite her whispering voice, "It's heartbreaking, that you thought I was the only thing in town worth saving."

...

He didn't say anything, but not because he was ignoring her. The way his arms pulled her closer to him, holding her in a way that almost would have been protective, was proof that he was listening. She was still here with him. She was still within his reach, and yet she wasn't.

Things were never going to be the same.

... okay.

... Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

I am not alright.

I am so very much not all right!! 😰😱😭😰😱😭😰 SO AT FIRST, I was obsessing over the whole Dragon!Smartass/HostagePrincess!Poppy (Or Erik!Smartass x Christine!Poppy- I'm not sure which comparison I like more) thing at the start and how the other weasels were dealing with this, because all of that was delicious-

BUT THEN THAT LINE.

YOU KNOW VERY WELL WHICH LINE PAL. THE ONE YOU WROTE TO BREAK EVERYONES FRAGILE HEARTS. THIS ONE-

"It's heartbreaking, that you thought I was the only thing in town worth saving."

Oh god I remember reading this one for the first time, months ago, vividly XD How I clutched my chest Oh my goodness.

NO WONDER THIS ONE WAS YOUR FAVOURITE!! AHH! ITS AMAZING!

(i also love how g e n t l e he got with her in the second half)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi there! Do you know of any fics with john and sherlock raising rosie that take place when she's a bit older, like in the 10-20 years old range?

Hi Lovely!

Oh gosh, good question... If I have any they'll be on my Parentlock lists:

Parentlock

Parentlock Pt. 2

Parentlock Pt. 3

Parentlock Pt. 4A (MFLs 0-25K w.)

Parentlock Pt. 4B (MFLs 25K+ w.)

Parentlock Pt. 4C (WIP MFLs)

Adoption

But here's what came up with a quick tag search on my offline lists. If you guys have some to add, please do list them for us!

OLDER ROSIE FICS

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, 5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

Made of Music Series by SosoHolmesWatson (T, 6,464+ w. across 2 works || Series WiP || Post S4, Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Mutual Pining, Friends to Lovers, Cuddling, Love Confessions, Angst with Happy Ending) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Chaperones by MissDavis (T, 34,114 w., 7 Ch. || 11 Years Post-S4, Fake Relationship, Parentlock, Disney World, Bed / Room Sharing, Friends to Lovers, Fluff, First Kiss, Obsessive Sherlock, Insecure John) – Right. Of course. Everyone assumed they were a couple and no one would question it. John put his elbows up on the table so he could rest his head in his hands. "You want to pretend to be a couple so we can chaperone a trip to Disney World with Rosie's class and you won't have to share a room with a stranger?" "Exactly." Sherlock beamed at him. "Don't worry about the cost. The Birmingham case last month paid more than enough to cover expenses for all three of us."

MARKED FOR LATER

About Being Gay by A_Candle_For_Sherlock (G, 1,088 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Coming Out, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, First Kiss, Romantic Fluff, Older Rosie) – Rosie looks up from Sherlock’s picture book about poisonous plants, gives Sherlock a look and asks, 'Are you gay, Sherlock?' and Sherlock, without missing a beat, just says 'Yes,' and continues drinking his tea, and Rosie says 'Ah,' and goes back to her plant book, and John nearly doubles over in the corner.

Are You Gay? by orphan_account (G, 2,299, 2 Ch. || Parentlock with Rosie, Older Rosie, Fluff) – Some boys at school called Rosie "Gay." She doesn't exactly know what that means, but maybe her dad does?

Hope is sweet by Lock_John_Silver (T, 2,977 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Parentlock with Rosie, Valentine’s Day, Developing Relationship, Pet Names, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, Classical Music, Idiots in Love, Endearments, POV Sherlock) - Sherlock wants to be more than John’s best friend. Has wanted it for ages, truth be told. So, when Molly comes up with an idea, that to some extent involves three year old Rosie, Sherlock doesn’t hesitate.

"Daddy, who do you like?" by OnlyForward (G, 3,441 w., 1 Ch. || Parentlock / 6 Year-Old Rosie Fic) – Rosie is in the phase where she constantly asks questions. This leads to questions like "Who do you like" and develops, eventually, to "Why don’t you kiss Sherlock?"

If Equal Affection Cannot Be by blueink3 (E, 31,156 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Family, Retirement, Grown Up Rosie, Angst, Reunion, Loneliness, Sussex, Fluff, Sexy Times, Happy Ending) – Sherlock fled London a couple of years after John left him in hospital with nothing but an old walking stick and a half-hearted goodbye. Rosie grew up thinking that Sherlock died when he committed suicide in front of her father by jumping from Barts' roof. So it's somewhat awkward when they run into each other in a Sussex general store between the loaves of bread and the Mars bars...

Consulting for Christmas by ohlooktheresabee (G, 40,153 w., 6 Ch. || Far Future Post S4 / Older Rosie, Thriller, Case Fic, Pre-Relationship, Christmas, Paris, POV Alternating, Fluff, Light Angst, Mutual Pining, BAMF John, BAMF Sherlock, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Jealousy, Misunderstandings, Mistletoe, Ice Skating, Heist, Awkward Romance, Developing Relationship, For a Case, Background Mystrade, Angst with Happy Ending) – The Louvre Museum in Paris is planning to host the celebrated Winter Fabergé Egg for its winter exhibition - quite the feat as it has not been on public display since 2002. However there is a snag: whispers of a world-renowned master-thief with his eyes set on the valuable prize. The curator has asked the famous Sherlock Holmes to consult on security, but the detective needs a lot of convincing: he is after all a bit busy with trying to woo a certain clueless ex-army doctor… At the same time, John is attempting to balance work, missing Rosie who is off on her gap year, a volunteer gig at a local London orphanage, and seething jealousy upon the arrival of an apparent old friend of Sherlock’s. Attempting to foil the heist of the century while remaining friendly and objective might just be a step too far... A Christmas crime caper packed full of misdirection, miscommunication and mistletoe, set against the romantic backdrop of London and Paris in the winter. Thrown into all this, will our two idiots finally manage to see what has been right in front of them all along?

Here We Go Again by disfictional (E, 46,687 w., 10 Ch. || Mama Mia-Inspired Fusion || Post-S4, Older Rosie, Alternating POV, Reunion, Retirement, Case Fic, Mutual Pining, Coming Out, Parentlock, Weddings, Fluff and Angst) – Ransacking some old trunks, Rosie Watson finds her father's old journal filled with remnants of a blog he used to keep about his association with Sherlock Holmes. In an attempt to meet the man who had a profound impact on her early years, Rosie invites the long-estranged detective to her wedding under false pretenses.

Know You All Over Again by PoppyAlexander (M, 53,028 w., 21 Ch. || Post-S3 Canon Divergence, Post-Break Up, Angst with Happy Ending, Therapy, Mary is Moriarty, Ex Sex, Parentlock) – After five good years, one difficult one, and six months that were hell, John and Sherlock live apart but still share custody of seven-year-old Rosie. With therapy, supportive friends, and those inevitable dance recitals and open school days forcing them into each other's paths again and again, anger and bitterness fade, leaving space for a new view of each other across the divide.

[disney-is-mylife]

List the Disney princess couples(except Ariel and Eric) who would be best parents and why.

Honestly, upon thinking about it (and consulting with my fiance lol), I have settled on three Disney Princess couples who'd be the best parents:

Belle/Adam

Tiana/Naveen

Kristoff/Anna

Belle and Adam are both intelligent, compassionate, and well-rounded people. Adam would teach his sons about positive masculinity, how to manage their more volatile emotions (and how it's important to TALK about those feelings), and true chivalry towards others. Belle would of course instill a love of reading and learning in her children, with an emphasis on seeing beauty within a person's soul (or lack thereof), and how to set boundaries. Their kids will know the definition of compassion and integrity, and are basically half-adopted by Mrs. Potts who always has snacks ready in the kitchen.

Tiana is a straight-up BAMF and Naveen would drink his Respect Women Juice every morning and their kids would see that. Their sons would learn how to treat a lady right (with maaaaaaaybe a few pick-up lines once they're old enough -- Naveen can't resist), while also learn "feminine" chores and fall in love with cuisine and jazz; their daughters would learn construction work and management and pursue the arts, and know how to set their boundaries. These are kids who will grow up knowing how to be BAMF hardworking people in their own rite, but also acknowledge when they make mistakes and apologize and learn. (And all of them know how to "cut a rug" because Naveen would rather die than have children with two left feet!)

Though Anna has her baggage, she'd do her damndest not to repeat her parents' mistakes, and Kristoff would be her rock to support her decisions, while also gently calming her down when Parental Paranoia would sometimes get in the way. They'd be open and communicative with their children, and their kids would ALWAYS trust them with their problems, no matter how big or small. They'd be clumsy, but loving parents, and their kids would be loud, rowdy, and excitable like their mother, with a fascination towards the outdoors like their father.

~~~

Honorable Mention:

Though I have no idea how she'd co-parent with her prince, Snow White would be an AMAZING mother. That is all.

[sterek-ao3feed]

Swan Song

Read it on AO3 at https://archiveofourown.org/works/58385206

by MiladyAce

Bella Swan is no longer attached to the Cullen's after being left behind. Maybe that was a mercy, when she meets and falls in love with the real life Disney princess Allison Argent.

Words: 872, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Twilight Series - All Media Types, Teen Wolf (TV)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, Multi

Characters: Allison Argent, Chris Argent, Kate Argent, Victoria Argent, Gerard Argent, Bella Swan, Charlie Swan, Peter Hale, Derek Hale, Stiles Stilinski, Scott McCall (Teen Wolf), Edward Cullen, Alice Cullen, Jasper Hale, Rosalie Hale, Emmett Cullen, Carlisle Cullen, Esme Cullen, Lydia Martin, Jackson Whittemore, Jacob Black

Relationships: Allison Argent/Bella Swan, Chris Argent/Victoria Argent, Derek Hale/Stiles Stilinski, Kate Argent/Charlie Swan, Lydia Martin/Jackson Whittemore

Additional Tags: BAMF Bella Swan, BAMF Kate Argent, BAMF Allison Argent, Women Being Awesome, Warning: Gerard Argent, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Violence, Character Death, Past Abuse

https://archiveofourown.org/works/58385206

[pettyshippen]

Sarah Phillips is a Disney princess and I know this because whenever I dress like her and go to historical villages, kids think I’m a princess. The song Speechless works really well for her as well.

So there you have it folks, Sarah is the Patriot Princess.

Here’s a clip of Sarah being a BAMF to grab your attention.

[adrianasunderworld]

You know, I've never understood why Scar is in the Disney Villain lineup but Simba isn't in the Disney Prince lineup. I mean, unlike some of them, he was actually born into royalty (it's literally the name of his movie).

(Also I love Elsa/Anna and Elinor but the best Disney Queen™ is Sarabi. She barely spoke but you could tell from her body language alone that she is the BAMF of the kingdom even after she lost her husband and son and her brother-in-law stole her throne, destroyed her home and is basically starving her and the other lionesses - how can a walk just have this aura of regality?)

I'm going to assume Simba is not in the Disney Prince line up for the same reason Nala is not part of the Princess line up. Which is probably because Nala and Simba aren't human. We kinda forget that the Disney Princesses as a franchise was made to sell dolls and sparkly costumes to little girls. You can't do that with Nala and Simba. And even for characters that fit the requirements to be a Princess, like Megara or Kida, are not part of the line because what I assume is popularity reasons. Yes we as adult fans that grew up on these movies want them to be in the line up, but modern kids that are the target audience don't have that same connection. My eleven year old brother has never seen Hercules until a few days ago, he really liked it, but he didn't watch it a bunch on Disney channel and stuff like I did as a kid. So I don't know how much other kids now a days that like Disney Princess feel about the unoffical line up, if they even know much about it, like Nala, Alice, Esmerelda, etc. Because I don't even know if they know who most of these character are. We only recently got Disney store Dolls again of these characters after YEARS of nothing.

The opposite end of that spectrum is why Elsa and Anna are not part of the official line up either. We lump them together with the princesses because they do fit in with the gang. But if you look up the current canon line up, they are not there. Frozen is so popular on it's own that it doesn't need to be part of the Disney Princess brand, yet can still be included now and then, like in wreck it ralph.

The villains, however, do not have to adhere to the same rules of marketability as the princesses do. The Villains are not meant to be cute and colorful to sell toys and children's books. They're more to appeal to adults and teenagers that like them. So characters like Scar, Hades , Captain hook, etc. Can get that recognition more than their heroic counterparts.

Sorry for the tangent. But also yes, Sarabi is severely under appreciated for everything she had to go through and still walks tall despite it. We love her. 💕

[ao3feed-ineffablehusbandz]

Fairy tale romance

Fairy tale romance

by daisydai

Once upon a time, the fair Prinncess Aziraphale resided in his beautiful tower in Heaven, surrounded by books, fine art, and heavenly delights. Aziraphale was a kind and gentle soul, and he spent his days reading, sipping tea, and enjoying the peace and tranquility of his tower.

One day, however, Aziraphale found himself in grave danger.

Words: 818, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: Good Omens (TV)

Rating: General Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Aziraphale (Good Omens), Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub (Good Omens)

Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Fairy Tale, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Crowley Loves Aziraphale (Good Omens), Aziraphale is kind of a Disney Princess, Very fluffy, Ace Spectrum Friendly, but they do kiss, and get married, BAMF Aziraphale, Who is a male presenting angel damsel, He/Him Pronouns for Aziraphale, He/Him pronouns for Crowley, True Love, Happily Ever After, Crowley to the Rescue (Good Omens)

From https://ift.tt/jfAwGtH https://archiveofourown.org/works/46342456

[up-in-my-bunghole]

Rapunzel is a badass

So I’m watching Tangled again and a thought just came to me about Rapunzel:

Since she’s so good at baking and cooking and creating things, I think she’d be very good at engineering and making machines and stuff.

It makes sense in my mind that she’d see patterns and problems that others don’t see when it comes to contraptions and she would be very skilled at solving said problems and tinkering with them to improve them.

Do y’all feel me?

[justanotherrandomlady]

Can i just say me too @critter-of-habit

Rewatched Black Panther (again).  Shuri is my favourite Disney princess.

Bonus -  Shuri as the Black Panther

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hey Stephhh,

Im looking for some good post s4 fix-its, friends to lovers. Preferably smutty obvs, and under 50k (if its reeeeeeaallyy good but long ill read it but its gotta be like an 11/10)

I believe in you 🙏 thank you in advance lol

Hi Lovely!!

I've a lot of Post-S4 fics, and if I can say so, I think all of the fics on my lists are fantastic and MORE than 11/10's, but subjective, hahah.

I'm also needing a list for the weekend, so I'm using your ask as the one I'm posting the next part for, so I HOPE some of these appeal to you, as well as the fics on the additional lists!! I put word counts next to all my fics which should help you out!

And if y'all have S4 fics to suggest, please do, as usual! I've another part I'm compiling of MFL fics, so I will add them to that as well! Enjoy!

POST-S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 5

See also:

TFP Is Canon

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 2

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 3

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 4

S4 Rewrites

S3 / TAB / S4 [FIX IT] Fics (March 2019)

Post S4 and Mental Health

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4,  5-Year-Old Rosie, Love Confessions, Song Fic, Parentlock, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Disney Songs, Beauty and the Beast) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together--as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of Made of Music

fulfilling for other people by missselene (E, 3,957 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Oblivious John, Pining Sherlock, Unhappy Fic, Unrequited Love Confession, Virgin Sherlock) – When Sherlock decides to act on John’s advice regarding romantic entanglements, the results are far from what John expected. Part 1 of fulfilling for other people

holding steady by darcylindbergh (E, 12,724 w., 4 Ch. || Post S4, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Growing Old, Gone Fishing, Mood without Plot, Soft Sherlock, Caring Sherlock, POV John Third Person, Anxious Sherlock, First Kiss / Time, Touching, Feeling Old, Sherlock Worship, Crying Sherlock, Cuddles, Comforting, Introspection, Retirement, Hand Holding, Forehead Kisses, Caring John, Bed Sharing, Emotional Love Making) – Sitting on a thick wool blanket at the end of a rickety dock side-by-side, legs dangling over the edge, a styrofoam container of wet, dark dirt between them, they’re fishing. John knows what this is about. This is about finally figuring it out.

A Quiet Life by DiscordantWords (M, 25,176 w., 6 Ch. || Post S4, Retirement, POV Sherlock, Awkwardness, Established Relationship, Family Dynamics, Minor Character Death, Questionable Parenting Choices, Non-Linear Narrative, 20 Year Old Rosie, Meddling Mycroft, Pining Sherlock, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Angst, Sherlock Whump) – There had been three days of silence and a funeral. Sherlock had the terrible feeling that whatever happened next would depend, entirely, on him.

How To Unfold a Heart by elwinglyre (E, 25,477 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It, BAMF John, Mentioned Eurus, POV First Person Sherlock, Case Fic, Fluff, Slow Burn, Topping from the Bottom, 3 Yr Old Rosie, Introspection, Sexual Fantasies, John Worship, Ogling, Hand Holding, Kidnapping, Domesticity, Sherlock Whump, First Kiss/Time, Doctor John, Caring John, Soft Sherlock, Sensuality, Touching, Crying, Love Confessions, Anxious Sherlock, Rimming, Toplock, Fingering, Bossy Bottom John) – To Sherlock’s dismay, John’s return to Baker Street with Rosie is only temporary. Sherlock’s daily visits to Regent Park with John and Rosie illuminate his lost childhood memories and missed opportunities. But with each trip to the park, Sherlock also feels a growing sense of hope. That is until the past horrors return unexpectedly in a cryptic note folded in the shape of a heart. To decipher the message, Sherlock must uncover the nature of the hearts around him, including his own.

Winter’s Storm by LoloLolly (M, 51,812 w., 11 Ch. || Canon Compliant Through TFP/S4 Is Canon, Alternating POV,  Established / New Relationship, Parentlock with Rosie, Explicit Torture, Mentions of Sherlock’s PTSD, Mentions of Human Trafficking, References to Child Abuse, Violence, Kidnapping, Captivity, Angst with Happy Ending, Fluff, Case Fic, BAMF / Soldier John, Sherlock Whump, Mycroft and John Work Together, Marriage Proposal, Autistic Sherlock, Lestrade Finds Out, Polyglot Sherlock, Aftermath of Serbia) – Sherlock had buried the past. Shut Serbia away in the attic of his mind palace. Muddy footprints at a heinous crime scene, however, have led him right back to old enemies. And right back to captivity. For God’s sake, Mycroft. Part 2 of the Earthly Pomp (Is But a Dream) series

Isosceles by SilentAuror (E, 56,609 w., 7 Ch. || Post-S4, POV John, Original Male Character / Sherlock Dates Another Man, Love Triangle, Jealous John, Virgin Sherlock, Sexual Coaching, Angst, Romance, Domesticity, Unrequited Feelings, Miscommunication, First Kiss/Time, For a Case, Friends With Benefits, Bottomlock, Love Confessions, Spooning) – After solving a case for a major celebrity, Sherlock gets himself asked out. When John asks, he discovers that Sherlock has no intention of going, at least not until John agrees to coach him through whatever he might need to know for his date...

Repairing the Broken Things by BakerTumblings (M, 75,252 w., 15 Ch. || S4 Compliant, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Trauma, Hospitals, Big Brother Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Realizations, Severe Accident, John Whump, Pneumonia, Medical Procedures, Bed Sharing, First Time, Healing, Happy Ending) – "I'm calling today to notify you that there's been an accident."

Swallow the Night by ArwaMachine (E, 87,873 w., 15 Ch. || TSo3/Stag Night Fix It, TAB/S4 Divergence, Toplock, Mutual Pining, PWP, Drunk / Public Sex, Anal Fingering/Sex, Alcohol-Induced Amnesia, Everyone Knows Except Them, Emotional Love Confession, Demisexual Sherlock, Internalized Homophobia [John], Parentlock with Rosie, First Kiss, Drug Relapse, Infidelity, Texting, Masturbation, Oblivious John, Emotional Love Making, Angst with Happy Ending, Dreams and Nightmares) – “Do you know how long,” John panted, his cheek scraping against the wall, looking back at Sherlock through half-closed eyes, “I’ve wanted this?” Sherlock pressed himself against John’s back, biting at John’s ear. “Not nearly as long as I have,” he whispered.

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s, Emotional Turmoil, Finding Each Other) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

Drawn to Stars by Silvergirl (E, 109,272 w., 60 Ch. || S4 Compliant to TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Sherlock’s Italian Adventure, Sherlock/OC and Johnlock, Jealous John, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings, First Kiss/Time, Idiots in Love, 3 Part Story, Slow Burn, Inexperienced Sherlock, Bottom Sherlock, Introspection, Multiple Alternating First and Third Person POV, Separation and Reconciliation, Emotional Love Making, Love Confessions via Letters, Angst with Happy Ending) – After the Culverton Smith case Sherlock is clean, working, and looking for a romantic partner—since John has told him that’s what he needs. Shame John didn’t mention he was interested in that role himself, before Sherlock went off to Rome with a gorgeous Italian copper to try to fall in love and become a complete human being.  Part 1 of the Drawn to Stars series

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton (M, 144,688 w., 40 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic / Meta Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Demisexual Sherlock, Holmes Family, John Whump, Gay Mycroft, Misunderstandings, Drug Addiction, Parenting, TFP is a Nightmare, Virgin Sherlock, Slow Burn, Minor Character Death, Switchlock, John’s Past, Sherlock’s Past, Eurus, Love Confessions) –Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

[millenialmfa]

Thank you for this post. Cinderella is my favorite princess even though people call her outdated and that she only wanted a man.

Vibe check

1. Bitch wanted to go to the party. Bitch just wanted to be included in something fun because her life sucked.

2. Through all of that bullshit her family put her through she remained kind and optimistic...that takes some bravery and courage.

3. She gets a happy ending not because she’s pretty or lucky but because she’s kind. Through her kindness the fairy godmother saw fit to bless her. Through her kindness to animals they 1. Made her a dress 2. Were willing to be part of her chariot 3. Helped her escape in the end.

4. Crying over a ripped dress is a PERFECTLY normal response. That was her MOTHERS dress. The last bits she had of her mother were ripped to shreds by her stepsisters as her stepmother watched.

THIS BLOG STANS CINDY

Cinderella (1950)

[ao3feed-ship-clintcoulson]

Hope It's the Thing with Wings

Hope, It's the Thing with Wings https://ift.tt/I5cn21P by AngelicalDisaster She never expected to meet her soulmate, not after... But here he is, telling her he wants absolutely nothing to do with her. Well that sounds about right. Van was never meant to be here, she had no reason to be even remotely near the Avengers. But hey when someone illegally experiments on you, you end up with some quirks. (Not to mention your own personal animal companion. No, she is not a Disney Princess.) Those aren't really applicable to a 9-5 office job. So Avengers it is! Steve doesn't trust her, Hydra has been trying to many things lately - he's got to keep his people safe. Even if everyone else on the compound seems to be accepting her, he's going to remain vigilant. What happens when one person knows they're soulmates? What happens when the other doesn't give them the time of day? What happens when there's an old prophesy that talks about how the former is some kind of magical saviour? Who the flip knows. Words: 6913, Chapters: 2/30, Language: English Fandoms: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Captain America (Movies) Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Categories: F/M, Multi Characters: Original Female Character(s), Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes, Darcy Lewis, Clint Barton, Phil Coulson, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Wanda Maximoff, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Bruce Banner, Pepper Potts, Tony Stark, Peter Parker, Jane Foster (Marvel), Thor (Marvel) Relationships: Steve Rogers/Original Female Character(s), James "Bucky" Barnes/Darcy Lewis, Clint Barton/Phil Coulson, Natasha Romanov/Sam Wilson, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Jane Foster/Thor Additional Tags: Soulmates, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, animal companion, Idiots in Love, Angst and Humor, Fluff, Randomness, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, BAMFs

[disney-is-mylife]

.... huh

Which Disney Princess Are You But For Real by dirtgirl19

like based on actual personality traits not ur favorite animal. the disney princess we projected onto was the forming vessel of our personality you can’t change my mind

Seguir leyendo

[bamfdaddio]

Uncanny X-Men Abridged: 1982: Fairytales & Nightmares Edition

The X-Men, those fantastical mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. We’ve been untangling that history for a while, but sometimes, you really want a more in-depth look. Interested? Then read the (un)Abridged X-Men!

(X-Men 153 & 160) - by Chris Claremont and Dave Cockrum, Josef Rubinstein, Bob Wiacek, Brent Anderson

I love how every character gets hit with a good dose of magical fairy dust except for Wolverine and Nightcrawler, who get turned into the Tasmanian Devil and a horny smurf, respectively

1982 is a pretty arc-based year. Most of it is dedicated to space operas, the Brood and Shi’ar politics (yawn), but there are a few outliers. Most notable of these two exceptions are issue 153 - Kitty’s fairytale - and issue 160, the introduction of Limbo. I’ve chosen to highlight these two issues because they are fun, fascinating and, moreover, they are sort of dark mirrors of one another.

Both feature Illyana as a catalyst for the action; both of them feature someone spinning her a little fairytale..

Both feature alternate takes on X-Men: one high fairytale, the other grimdark.

Both are standalone issues that barely feature into the main Shi’ar-plot of 1982 -- seriously, you can take them out without disrupting any narratives -- while still introducing plot points that would become a part of the X-Men mythos. (The Lockheed dragon; the bamf and, most importantly, the introduction of Illyana as Magik.)

It’s funny how the Brood saga takes up almost 80% of the narrative space this year, whereas the whole Limbo/Belasco/Illyana-thing is almost a throwaway plot that is arguably more iconic for the X-Men currently than the Brood are.

Anyway, context. The mansion is in shambles after the attack on the Hellfire Club. Illyana hasn’t returned home after being kidnapped by Arcade -- perhaps to give Colossus a little relief of his homesickness. Illyana then tempts fate:

Take note of that stuffed Fozzi toy, wocka wocka!

Illyana prefers Kitty to tell the story, and I get it. Colossus is a sweetheart, but the dude’s not exactly light of heart. Piotr would probably tell something dreary and fatalistic about three old sisters in a decaying orchard, while Kitty is a lot more fun.

Claremont shows that he is familiar with the workings of the teenage mind, because when faced with the challenge to tell a story, she does the same thing I did when I was thirteen: she goes for a self insert. And she incidentally writes in the boy she has a crush on as her boyfriend.

Look, all I’m saying, we’ve all been there, right?

Anyway, Kitty’s fairytale. Kitty is a pirate, Peter is her shipmate and they stumble upon a quest when ruffians accost a blind prince -- Scott -- and a wizard on his own personal flying carpet -- Xavier. They help out and get roped into the prince’s quest to save his princess from an evil corrupting influence. Sound familiar?

In true Final Fantasy-fashion, all the other party members are introduced one by one. Kitty calls upon a dragon called Lockheed she befriended while Piotr saves a weather goddess trapped in a bottle by the cursed princess. Best highlights, however, are Kitty’s versions of Kurt and Wolverine.

Way of X, I love you, but take note. Kurt was never meant to be puritan.

One of the best parts of this issue is the reaction shots of the other X-Men who listen in to Kitty’s tale. Most of their alternative versions fit stock fairytale characters, although Bamf is more a Disney sidekick than anything else. Wolverine is straight up a Looney Tune though:

At some point, someone looked at this character design and first thought of Sabretooth, right?

The kicker of all of this Kitty wasn´t actually there for the Phoenix Saga: she only met Jean once, briefly, when Jean saved her and the other X-Men from Emma. Kitty never met Dark Phoenix, she only ever heard the details secondhand. Still, she gets it mostly right: prince Scott and princess Jean are star-crossed lovers until Jean is cursed by a corrupting force. As Dark Phoenix, she is hellbent on stopping wizard Xavier and the prince in their tracks, lest they lift the curse by confronting her with her one weakness.

THE HUMANITY

Xavier uses Jean’s humanity to fight off the dark Phoenix and, in this particular universe, they succeed. Scott and Jean get the happy ending they didn’t get in the actual timeline: Kitty even cures his cursed eyebeams. It’s kind of funny that this is the only happy ending the X-Men will ever get during Claremont’s reign.

Speaking of a lack of happy endings, the dark counterpart of Kitty’s fairytale also starts with someone telling Illyana some sweet little lies:

I’m assuming that the whole Stranger Danger-campaign only got big after the eighties? Illyana has all the self preservation skills of a lemming.

Kitty notices that Illyana has vanished and is curious, following her. She steps on a strange light disk and vanishes.

As a slightly piquant aside, I was pleasantly surprised when reading this one digitally. I own a copy of this comic in Dutch (straight from the eighties) and apparently, they censored the version for the low lands. In a comic with creepy assaultey Nightcrawler and many, many, many naked Storms and Wolverines, this page was a bridge too far:

Look, maybe they weren’t entirely wrong. Last time three guys were bouncing around me and I invited them for a shower, I wasn’t entirely innocent either.

I was “also not welcome in that gym again” but that’s besides the point.

Who knows, maybe they just wanted to cut out the clunky exposition of storylines recent. In any case, the X-Men decide to investigate and they are also whisked away: those disks of light are apparently teleportation circles.

Also, can someone please tell Chris Claremont that German sometimes does have i before e?

They’re pulled into a pocket dimension where time and space are treated as guidelines rather than hard and fast rules. While Belasco taunts Kitty (and pulls her skeleton from her body to keep her from escaping), the other X-Men get separated, wandering about this utterly foreign dimension and encountering future/alternative versions of themselves.

I still love how alien this first version of Limbo is. The comic is titled ‘Shoots & Ladders’ and it’s exactly like that, except in creepy, never-ending tunnels and topsy-turvy, shadowy caverns.

Both Wolverine and Colossus are confronted by their dead selves, killed by S’ym, Belasco’s brutish lackey. The alternative Nightcrawler, meanwhile, has been perverted into a freaky little toady who has no qualms about touching Kitty inappropriately. (He's essentially the creepy, disturbing version of a Bamf.) Storm, meanwhile, is aided by an older, jaded version of herself. She’s also the one in charge of teleportation disks, which she uses to aid the X-Men:

Kitty’s casually waving skeleton always sends me

Storm is furious with what Belasco has wrought onto Kitty, her Mother Bear Instincts activating. She wants to give chase, but that’s when older!Storm intervenes. She warns Storm that this is a crossroads. In her variant universe, the X-Men chased after Belasco and it went badly for them: Wolverine and Colossus died, Nightcrawler turned evil and Storm became trapped in Limbo.

There’s no word of what happened to their Kitty or Illyana, but I think that’s because Limbo does not play by any of our regular rules. See, if Belasco wanted Illyana, wouldn't he have one now? But he doesn’t. So maybe Limbo is the Schrödinger’s place, where the X-Men both did and didn’t chase Belasco. Because if they didn’t give chase, they wouldn’t have the older Storm to tell them they shouldn’t give chase, which they end up not doing. But if they don't, there wouldn't be a Storm to warn them from not going, so they would. But they wouldn't.

Got that?

Just when older!Storm prepares to send them home, Belasco returns with an army of demons.

See? I told you that paying attention to that Fozzi-toy would pay off! (Wocka wocka)

And it ends there, with Illyana rescued from her nightmare, but with the promise of more darkness in her future.

I love how Chris Claremont takes a soap opera trope -- aging up a child in the shortest amount of time possible to an age where there’s more to do with them narratively -- and makes it fit into his crazy X-Universe.

And that’s it. Two relatively pared down stories where the normal rules of reality take a backseat: one to lift Illyana’s spirits, one to break her beyond belief. In a year that’s defined by space opera, these two stories have always stuck out to me, simply because of the way they break the mold of the X-Universe. More importantly, they've given us Magik. And Bamf!

Next up: Brood, Brood, Brood, and Shi'ar.