#ballad of a sunchild

[putalittledirtonthere]

Do you wish that Tommyinnit was a silly vigilante??? Well then do I have the fic for you! I’m pretty hyperfixtated right now too so active updates

[putalittledirtonthere]

THE SONG THAT INSPIRED THR FIC

Lazy days would fade as I would dabble with my fingers through the corset Prodding at the heating that I couldn’t reach unless I really forced it And I would feel the throb Throw back my head and sob I’m lost

[fausthetics]

yoo

tomorrow will be my first day of recording in a professional studio. i am so excited

how are your days sunchild?

how have you been doing? as i am writing this the calendar marks 24th of november. im listening to that song i wrote for the EP on repeat, it's the saddest one. it is about us, as well as all the other songs on the project, but this one in particular hits me like a lightning bolt for whatever reason. it is a beautiful piano ballad that accompanies a string orchestra towards the end. it is about us but as a sad, bleeding, half-complete dream that was supposed to come true.

how do you spend your days these days? do you still practice that electric guitar begged your parents to buy for ages? what is your favorite song currently? is there a show that you are obsessed with? i am still the old me, constantly rewatching friends like a robot, im still listening to the same songs on repeat. i am using the phone case u gifted me back in the beginning of this year. i am still bugging your bestfriend with questions about you every day, to keep the promise i made when you were crying on my knees that day. you said you felt like the whole world was crashing towards you and you were all alone in the middle of it and too naive to handle any of it, yet you still hide behind a mask that is supposed to showcase you as someone strong and powerful, unbreakable, unbothered. you think it is maturity to ignore the pain, but in reality you need to embrace it to grow. you said you felt alone that day, and i promised as long as i am alive, even when we never talk, i'll still be by your side and you hugged me and said you were grateful to have me, that's why i refuse to believe u will ever be able to erase me, erase us.

i brought that jacket of mine that you used to wear all the time back in school, when i came to this hellhole that is kilometers away from you. it still smelled like you for the first few days then it went away from the fabric but never left my nostrils. i sometimes hug that jacket when i sleep, to pretend that i was hugging you.

i miss you with all my heart, and the thought of you not even giving a fuck about it breaks my heart into thousands of pieces that you can't even imagine. i started smoking, to escape reality in the few seconds of lightheadedness it gives to you. i know i am practically damaging myself, but all i can think of is how heaven was by my side.

take care sunchild keep on shining and spreading your light around

[longliveustherecklessandthebrave]

Miraculous Ladybug angst

So I thought of this while ignoring my responsibilities and was like ,,,, think of the aNGST 

 -so marinette and chat get to discussing their feelings right and she tells him about adrien with out really telling him it’s adrien -chat (or adrien) being the oblivious sunchild that he is is like oh wow! Mari likes someone! that’s amazing! im sure they’re going to get together and be happy forever -he totally isn’t bummed that she has feelings for someone else -totally -so the next day mari is like yeah! im gonna do it! im going to tell him how i really feel! -and chat is so supportive and seeing her determination, he’s like maybe i should tell ladybug -but he doesnt say that -but mari gets up to talk to adrien and her usual stuttering occurs and she takes a deep breath and remember what chat told her he’s only human -adrien is lowkey freaking out because it’s him!! the guy marinette likes is him!  -mari tells him and he’s like ,, sorry mari i’m in love with someone else. and she’s devastated because she figured that he might reject her but she never thought that he’d be in love with someone else -she nods and with tears welling in her eyes she wishes him the best of luck with his love, and he wants to stop her from running away but this was for the best

-so mari is mad at chat bc he told her to go for it so instead of leaving her window open and unlocked like usual, she closes it and locks it. she hides in a blanket fort and turns up jagged stone’s most epic of rock ballads. on repeat. and she tries to ignore the rapping on her window of chat -eventually chat gives up and just goes through the front door up to her room and she’s mad -chat! you can’t just come up and bother me! i don’t want you here -and he’s like why did it not go well knowing full well how it went -she starts crying again and he wants to comfort her and tell her how much he’s sorry but what would he be sorry for right now he’s chat not adrien -mari it’s okay just move on and forget about him he’s not worth it -he is worth it don’t say that about him! -but he rejected you ,, shouldn’t it be time to move on? -she pulls the covers further over her head and turns up the music louder. chat, understanding the boundaries, leaves her be

-fast forward a week and chat keeps visiting her despite her protests  -he wants to make sure she’s okay -he tells her it’s because he doesn’t want her to be akumatized -she tells him this is heartbreak not revenge -he puts a sad smile on for comfort and each day she allows him to stay later -meanwhile at school adrien is worried about mari she lost focus of class with what little she had left and immersed herself into a sketch pad with maybe designs maybe cartoons he doesn’t know -he asks alya and she just shrugs and says it’s her way of coping -adrien feels guilty

-one night chat is over and mari is upside down on her bed her posters of adrien are gone from her wall and in the framed photo she had originally with adrien she replaced with one of her parents -chat never noticed his own modeling pictures covering the walls but he noticed when they were gone -had her walls always been this bare? -she was throwing up a ball in the air and catching it -he was next to her just casually talking about everything -adrien somehow gets brought up -he tries to not to notice the way she flinches -it’s ok im over him, she tries to tell him -he can tell she’s lying -oh? have you found someone else to love then? -i have -and who is this lucky lad? -he’s you -chat stops. not only has mari fallen for his civilian self but when she gets rejected she starts pining after his superhero self. if only she was ladybug that would’ve made it ten times more ironic but that was wishful thinking -she gets down from her bed to look at him -it’s you chaton, she says leaning in to kiss him -he kisses back for a brief second but red and black flashes through his mind and he pushes her off -mari we can’t not like this -but chat -you know i’m in love with ladybug -but chat -it isnt right youve only known me for a couple weeks -yeah, as marinette -what are you saying -it’s me, chaton. I’m your ladybug -adrien is lowkey pissed because not only is his superhero self, the one closest to his personality, second choice but mari is willing to lie to him to get him for herself -you’re just saying that -no im not  -you’re just saying that, marinette! you’re using my love for ladybug to get me to kiss you! -i’m not! I can prove it! -chat doesn’t stick around to hear her pleas  -he leaps out her window and is gone -marinette is left speechless, hopeless, wondering how in any way could the only two boys in the whole world choose someone else over herself, one  even chose herself over her -she sighs and gives up love for good

-chat doesn’t stick around after that -he doesn’t visit her -he doesn’t look for her -at least that’s what marinette thinks -he likes to look in her window -to see how she’s doing -he notices how bland everything has  gotten -with what was full of bright positivity has dulled into a grey sadness -he also noticed a shift in ladybug since that day but that was wishful thinking -he tries not to notice her in school looking at everything but the board and the teacher -he tries not to notice the once animated discussions he heard behind him had dwindled and not even alya’s excitement could bring her back to life -had he killed marinette?

THERE’S SO MUCH MORE I COULD ADD TO THIS SHOULD I MAKE IT A FIC IDK IM SCARED TO WRITE BECAUSE I ONCE TRIED TO WRITE FOR A BANDOM BUT LIKE I HAD LOST ALL MOTIVATION SO I DON’T WANNA DISAPPOINT LIKE I HAVE DONE IN THE PAST BUT PLS GIVE ME FEEDBACK

[putalittledirtonthere]

Ballad Of A Sunchild first fanart!!! Ty Ember on discord for this amazing art

ANDDDD the second chapter is finally out!

[pupcrimes]

Lazy days would fade as I would dabble with my fingers through the corset Prodding at the heating that I couldn't reach unless I really forced it And I would feel the throb Throw back my head and sob I'm lost