#balance of probabilities ill pass these 2 courses!!!!!

[sad--tree]

almost definitely gonna actually for-fucking-realsies pass my courses this term and GRADUATE finallyyy ! ! !

[scordoesart]

Season 2 is right around the corner but here’s an au

Picking up from the end of season 1, Stede and the part of his crew that was marooned are sailing around trying to catch up with the revenge, but are ill-supplied to be doing so both due to the small size of the boat on the open ocean and that Stede didn’t seem to have much in ways of supplied with him when he left Barbados. I don’t think the marooned crew would consider Stede as their captain at this time (given that he abandoned them to the kraken!Ed). Stede would probably be avoidant in talking about where he’s been (in the “rules for thee but not for me” way he operates) other than he’s back to stay, has no money, and only what little experience he’s had in his brief time sailing as skills. They wouldn’t abandon Stede though, seeing him as maybe the only person who could fix this mess. Stede and his bunch get picked up by another ship who, turns out, is also looking for the Revenge. This ship is either operated or in the command of Bellamy (though he’s using a different name these days because he’s supposed to be dead). When Stede introduces himself, he’s somewhat met with “a pirate captain without a ship and that wasn’t mutinied upon?” questioning (some amusement there on Bellamy’s behalf), and Olu or all of the marooned people explains to their understanding what happened on the Revenge while Stede was gone to the best of their ability. The tale of the Revenge’s crew’s current state was left in just drives them both to want to find it even more. (A good chunk of this story is tracking down information to find the Revenge, which fortunately, Bellamy still has information sources in spades. Sometimes things just happen on the sea. Maybe they run into Jack again?). Bellamy may or may not be a less than open about who he’s chasing after on the Revenge (haven’t decided, or maybe it’s something that eventually comes out but isn’t said directly at first? Bellamy would have little reason to give up his many-year alias/charade to Stede and also strikes me as the kind of man to hold his cards close until he wants to play them). Stede gets to know more about Ed as a person from someone who knew him years ago without Ed there to curate ( Much like Jack and Ed, they act like no time has passed next they meet. I think they would have had a kind of rivalry but also an underlying respect for one another. or at least some base kind of comeradery) and also about pirating when money isn’t your background. Just to complicate things, because Stede and Ed have escaped the royal navy, pirate hunters have been sent after the Revenge (Hornigold maybe?). This is discovered at one of the ports they stop at for information. Time is ticking for them to find the Revenge. Stede no longer has the family inheritance money to lean on, and from the change in lifestyle he’s had to take to compensate, he develops a kind of understanding if not respect for Izzy’s steadfastness in duty of running the ship. ------------- Meanwhile back on the Revenge.... Things keep getting worse somehow. Izzy knows he Fucked Up (see walking on thin ice with Ed), but keeps telling himself Blackbeard is back and this is what he (Izzy) wanted. It’s what’s best for Ed. Izzy tells himself this, but even he knows it’s all gone wrong. He can’t face that reality because Izzy only finds the value of himself in serving Blackbeard. This wasn’t always true. It’s not something he’s ready to confront yet. Izzy is also managing (not well) the missing pinky toe whose stump is healing about as well as Lucius’ finger did. His swordsmanship has also suffered due to the lack of balance from its loss. He must hide all this to the best of his ability to keep up appearances, but of course things will go horribly wrong. Ed notices none of this of course; too wrapped up in his own grief and trying to be the Kraken for the one last reliable person (Izzy) he’s scared will leave him if he isn’t being exactly what Izzy expects him to be. After all, Stede disappeared on him without a word, Jack helped Izzy sell Stede (though ed probably interpreted it as selling both ed and stede) out to the British. Ed and Izzy haven’t been talking outside of strictly first mate-captain business talk. And even then, sometimes it’s Izzy (nervously but with a front to show the crew otherwise) managing without Ed. Lucius is living in the walls at this point and sees and hears much from people when they think they are alone. Ed’s fragile state and crying. Izzy’s struggles with his foot and brief forlorn expressions when he’s alone. Maybe there’s times when he’d grip the ring, saying nothing but mind going mile a minute to something Lucius wouldn’t know at this point. He could probably pick up that it’s a thought of someone missed. Lucius can’t keep a secret for long so he’d start conversing secretly with some of the crew. Jim perhaps? The two of them have a precident of secrets kept a  la season 1. Those that were part of the Revenge both don’t see a way out of this and start trying to plan for a means of a way out of this. Would there have been more crew transferred from the Queen Anne’s Revenge to the Revenge to fill out the crew with competent pirates? Maybe. Eventually though Izzy can’t ignore that this isn’t anything like the usual moodswings of  Blackbeard he’s accustomed to managing. Things aren’t changing and he’s already been dragged too deep underwater by the kraken to surface from the situation. Might as well continue to try and keep the rest of the crew afloat and working as they should be. ---------- (A maybe possibility of an event but not sure how it fits in characterization wise?) Lucius eventually reveals himself to Izzy (under funny accidental circumstances probably). Perhaps when things have gotten Really Bad for Izzy’s foot and he’s bed bound with fever and infection? Would Izzy admit to Lucius he didn’t think an infection would be the thing to do him in? Probably not, but maybe in such a situation he would? (I didn’t think through this scene too much, but maybe some more direct hints that there was someone else (Sam) for Izzy a lifetime ago? But since Izzy never really dealt with the loss other than just shove it down, he doesn’t really want to talk about it? This would provide an opportunity for those that were left from the Revenge crew to gain a kind of respect and the briefest of peaks beneath the demanding middle manager demeanor Izzy has. HOWEVER, this seemingly conflicts with two of the truths Izzy upholds for himself: Loyalty to his captain above all else, and, pirates all just in the process of screwing eachother over) ------------ Back with not the Revenge... Bellamy, Stede, and the rest of the marooned crew eventually catch up to the  Revenge with barely enough time before the pirate hunters arrive. If Stede hadn’t but it together by now just who Bellamy was looking for, it would be outright said who specifically is being sought after. (Stede probably wouldn’t put it together that the man he calls Iggy has the name Israel or may be referred to by the nickname Baz) Stede could say it’s him and he’s returned, but Ed wouldn’t believe him. By now, Stede looks quite different a man. No matter what Stede says, It takes a proper pirate boarding and takeover to get Ed to listen. Maybe Stede getting stabbed by Ed (just like he was taught) to get Ed to listen. The revenge crew on both sides wouldn’t want to fight their friends/companions. The jig is seemingly up on romcom logic where everyone is going to be okay. Maybe Ed boils over and Stede sees the Blackbeard the books he has tell of? Does Ed kill someone in his kraken rage or just think he killed someone in order for him to snap out of it enough to allow that emotional vulnerability to show again? (It would have to be him directly doing it, not throwing someone into the sea, or fire, or anything like that. As with when Jack was talking about Ed burning people alive in ep 8, Ed considered it the fire doing the killing, not himself.) There is of course a dramatic and emotional reunion of all the couples. Them all dealing with what happened in their own ways. Izzy of course is beyond words. Not knowing how to emotionally deal with 1) Sam being alive. Sam being here. 2) Stede Bonnet is back. 3)Pirate hunters (Hornigold?) on the horizon coming right for them. That third point would cut everyone’s emotional reunions short, but also be the only one of the three that Izzy has any inkling of how to deal with after years of shoving his own emotions down and never dealing with them. The fight to even get on the Revenge having caused enough fatigue that a fuckery has to be used to get away. Stede gets to showcase what he’s learned as a practical, broke, pirate (and that probably not enough if he creates the fuckery without assistance from others). There’s a grand kind of confrontation between Hornigold and the two captains who were once under his command. Stede gains a deeper understanding of the man that in many ways shaped Ed (and Izzy and Sam and Jack and maybe other figures that could have been encountered while looking for the Revenge such as Anne Bonny and Mary Reed). And then finally, the crew can start to unpack and sort out the situation. It’s a long process. The world, under normal logic, wouldn’t wait for them to sort such things out. Maybe romcom time makes a comeback and they can sort through at least a good chunk of it. Ed, for his part, does a lot of growth or at least tries to. In the end, Izzy ends up leaving with Sam for retirement. Ed tells him to go, be happy. Releases him from service (much to Izzy’s conflicted feelings on it). Izzy insists that no that’s a big mistake. Ed insists that’s what would make Ed happy (even if that too is a lie in some capacity?): to see Izzy finally have that same happiness with Sam that Ed’s now found with Stede. -------------- As for what happened between Izzy and Sam all those years ago... Years ago, Sam was sweet on Izzy when they were both serving under Hornigold. It was a whirlwind romance. Sam promised Izzy fine things and retirement together- something so rare for those in their line of work. It seemed like the stuff of fairytales, but something made Izzy give Sam a chance to make it a reality. I haven’t decided what the reason they weren’t sailing together. Izzy and Sam would have been on different ships under Hornigold’s command. Sam with his own ship and Izzy under Ed’s command. Maybe Izzy’s sense of loyalty to his captain was there (as instilled by Hornigold in all his men), but at the time, he wasn’t giving both of his hands to his job. One for the ship and one for his own interests. Maybe Ed was jealous and didn’t want to “share” Izzy with a someone else and he pressed the loyalty to the captain aspect? Maybe there was some other fuckery a la Ed afoot? Maybe Izzy, being torn between duty and love, said he’d go with Sam once Sam got the money needed for that retirement? That seems to conflict with the intensity of which Izzy holds loyalty though. Hmm.... In any case, after splitting off from Hornigold and some time passing, Sam ended up reported dead along with almost all of his crew in the sinking of the Whydah. (The timeline with Hornigold’s involvement and if he’s still alive even seems to be pretty loose at this point as far as OFMD canon goes in comparison to history. Therefore the timeline between Bellamy being elected captain of what once was Hornigold’s fleet, his independent ventures, and the sinking of the Whydah can be played with fast and loose.) Ever since then, Sam’s been working under another name to regain those funds, find Izzy, and give his love the retirement he promised. News of what happened to the Whydah and Sam eventually made its way to Ed and Izzy. Izzy never really processed the grief. Just bottled it up and dedicated his whole self to his captain. Both hands to the ship. (“The only retirement we get is... death”)

[venturebroes]

ok contining off of my other mlp eqg post , making a higher education list for the humanified ponies yknow!

ok starters , fluttershy! animal caretaker, which i feel is obvious. i mean look at her fucking house. ive seen that you need a highschool diploma which id feel as she would definitely have, and possibly needing a bachelors in something of animal care something of the sorts so, she probably majored in animal husbandry? we know damn well she probably already knew everything pertaining to it tho and minored in.. something. ill go for ecology

ok! rainbowdash! i still think they'd just have a highschool diploma, probably no further education because they'd have the same aspirations as the one in the eqg world. maybe her parents wanted to push them into a community college or something tho and then they went to it for a while then perhaps quit. like that one old mlp series LOL. she'd of course do her best to do whatever the human equivalent of the wonder bolts would be, which is gonna be an athletics team now even tho being a jet flying team would make more sense but whatevs!

aj. of course she would just work on the farm still. nothing past a highschool diploma. she does definitely have a diploma tho and not a GED or anything because she was so young when her parents had passed so she was already used to everything being so fucking hectic so she was able to balance everything (however. i do believe big Mac definitely dropped out of highschool and later in life acquired a GED ) (these mfs HATE cps)

twilight fucking sparkle. the next fucking RULER of GOD DAMN EQUESTRIA. what would she fucking do? the girl who was attending cram school the same time as all of her grade schools by choice, spending her summers at camps for miscellaneous academic upgrades or spent them right under celestias wing. of course she did a 2 year school first, got to butter up the guys that'll give her her undergrad! so im not incredibly sure what a future benevolent totalitarian leader would have as schooling. but since she shows the most interest in science ill say she got an associates in fucking physics or something, then a bachelors in let's say science of business, so she knows how to take care of shit! then of course it's fucking twilight so she'll go on to get her masters and then doctorate in something so. yaknow

pinkie pie, same as eqg she's getting an associates in culinary! with her highschool diploma of course. due to where she grew up id imagine she didn't have a very good highschool schooling experience, with the bare minimum classes and all. perhaps later in life, she'd go and get a degree in business because of how she takes over the bakery later on , so <3

AND RARITY! of course she also went to a 2 year school at first too. but got a degree in dun dun dun... BUSINESS MATH! and then a bachelors in something of the fashion design sorts. she'd probably have a pretty goof amount of school honestly but id imagine she would get her masters much later on in life. probably a business networking thing or something

and the man who inspired it all.... DISCORD!!!!! PRE SCHOOL TEACHER!!!!! the way i know that this man is a fucking genius. and just did NOT apply himself for SHIT in highschool LMAO. only reason he got into college is from a baller ass letter of recommendation. started off with community college probably, and honestly i think he was doing some sort of math. maybe business math like rarity! or mathematical finance even tho they sound like the same thing... and then gets a bachelors in psychology probs! definitely minored in something random as fuck for funzies.. and then at some point i imagine he realized hey, kids? cool as fuck! let me get my masters in education! and he's set since he got that psychology degree

[syzyg3tic]

Yuletide Letter 2023

Hello!

Thanks so much for writing for me! I’m excited to see what you come up with :) Here are some general likes and dislikes, as well as fandom-specific thoughts. Feel free to think of this as a grab bag of starting points or inspiration, not hardline prompts (of course)! I am equally interested in all three fandoms, so have fun with whatever you want to write!

ALSO I love treats.

General Likes:

-Character study/character motivation exploration

-Expressing emotions physically–sex or kissing or any physical interaction as conversation/argument/apology/confession/goodbye

-Characters B&C talking/making out about their mutual feelings for Character A (probably most useful for 180Degree)

-Missing scenes/vignettes

NSFW likes:

Again, no pressure to write explicit fic, but if you do, here are some things I like to read about!

-Sensation play

-Breathplay

-Solo/fantasizing

-Sex as conversation–sex that’s also about forgiveness/goodbye/someone else/admission/catharsis/grief

-First times/exploration of each other

Dislikes/DNWs:

-AUs

-A/B/O dynamics

-Soulmate/one true love stuff

-Mpreg/pregnancy/kidfic

-illness fic

-Noncon

-Scat/pee

-Non canonical character death

Requests

1) สา���เราต้องรอด | 3 Will Be Free

Characters: Miw, Mae

Why I like it:

I love all the characters in this show a lot, and I love the hero trio and the “villain” trio on their own, but I think a LOT about the two women, on their own and together. They both have had to learn to be hard, and to push away their feelings. They both are scarred by the memories of the first person they killed. The fact that one woman’s revenge quest hinges on another’s downfall is aaah it’s a big feeling, especially because Miw gets what she wants in the end and Mae doesn’t. This pains me. The 3 who end up free are the only people left in the world who know what Mae went through, and she can’t really talk to them about it because of the nature of their situation!! Their connection in that big confrontation in the forest really hit home how similar the two of them are, and how well they’d get along in other circumstances. I think there’s a lot of bittersweetness in that. I want Mae to be happy.

Concepts:

-I would love to see postcanon fic where Mae and Miw meet, either planned or by accident, and get a chance to talk. To create some kind of friendship forged in trauma. I think they are both capable of forgiving each other, since they now know they both acted the way they did because of situations they did not control. I can see them wanting to take back control from those external forces by being good to each other, both learning to feel worthy of the other’s forgiveness. I can see this being fully friendship or turning romantic or physical. I love the idea of them experiencing queer gender euphoria together. I don’t want you to break up Shin/Miw/Neo, but hey, they’re already polyamorous, why not let Miw have a girlfriend also! Or at least a one off emotional cathartic hookup (or series of healing hookups) with Mae??? And Mae deserves the world, by god, and I want her to have SOMETHING good after the story ends ;-;

DNW “welcome to the polycule, here are the rules” type long winded relationship negotiation. The way the main 3 navigated their relationships in the show was pretty fluid and organic, and a bit of checking in with each other is fine, but I’d like to keep that relaxed tone, if you do take this in a romantic direction.

I didn’t request the other characters because I wasn’t interested in fic that focused on them, but feel free to include them as side characters if you like.

 2) เส้นลองจิจูดที่ 180 องศาลากผ่านเรา | 180 Degree Longitude Passes Through Us (TV)

Characters: Inthawut, Sasiwimol, Siam

Why I like It:

This show obliterated me. The way In, Mol, and Wang balance and unbalance each other and circle around the absence of Siam. How it ended the way it should have but made me ache for other possibilities. All the damn line and bridge and travel imagery and concepts. It was so restrained while making me FEEL unhinged. Real fuckin art. Anyway, the show made me feel like my heart got scraped over gravel, and I would love to feel worse. I mean. I am also down with a hopeful ending, but if you want to dig into the angst (especially for In), feel free.

I requested In, Mol, and Siam, and I am happy to have any fic focusing on any one of/combination of those three characters! While I do love Wang, and the fucked up juicy tension of Wang/In, I am not interested in fic that focuses on their relationship, which is why I didn’t request him. I am fine with him being a background character, and his different fraught relationships with both In and Mol can still be present, if you write about the canon era, I’d just rather have the main dynamic the fic is about be some combination of the other 3.

Concepts:

-More about the past era! Could be more about a time In and Siam almost got together but didn’t. Or make it more Mol focused, her trying hard to Not See the truth, because if she manifests what she wants hard enough, surely it will happen. Or a time when they were happy (or thought they were happy) In/Mol, In/Siam, Mol->Siam, Siam shooting his shot to try and get a 3 way, and it absolutely not going well, if at all. Any of that!

-This is uh. The most wretched concept I’ve got, but I am very fond of it. I keep thinking about what if In and Mol did some grief hooking up once. The show is pretty clear on the fact that they didn’t hang out after Siam died, but like. What if Once. And it was just miserable for them. Lots of talking around Siam. Or what if they run into each other, pretend they don’t know each other, and hook up playing like they’re strangers but they’re both definitely aware of what’s going on? Or Mol trying to get In to talk about Siam while they’re having sex and it making In dissociate. I just really love the trope of persons A and B hooking up about person C that they both love. And this would work both with them acknowledging this to each other or not. This could be cathartic or make things worse, or both!

-Any kind of In, Mol, or Siam navel gazing, past present or future, self-aware or unreliable narrator style.

-And a note about Mol–She’s one of my favorite parent characters ever. She’s extremely flawed, but I think the show does a good job of showing us why her fears make sense to her, and how they lead to her narcissism and hold her back from being a happier, better person. I know some people have a hard time with her character, but I love her a lot, so if you feel up to writing her, I’d love it if you show that she is trying hard to be good, to be loved, to not be left behind, rather than just demonizing her.

3) One Piece (Live Action TV 2023)  

Characters: Arlong, Nami

Why I like It:

Ok well the reason I like the SHOW is that it is silly and fun and chasing its bliss, with the anachronistic costuming and shonen power dialed up to full earnestness. It's sweet and weird and hornier than I expected. But I also like the way it allows for darker moments, to make the good "friendship means everything" message that Luffy brings to the crew really land--these guys are coming from some TRAUMA, huh?? I also like how the "villains" are sometimes villains for complicated reasons, and that the military/government is often the real enemy, and that outcasts and oppressed peoples lash out when they've been held down long enough. So for this fic I really am leadning harder on the traumatic pasts, but i DO love the hopeful future Nami finally allows herself to want by the end of S1, thanks to Luffy, so feel free to use the tone balance you like most.

Concepts:

Well. Ok so the thing is I would love to see some absolutely wretched Nami/Arlong from when Nami was younger and horny and sad and fucked up and potentially had never even kissed anyone, and was like "maybe if i crawl into Arlong's bed he will like me more and let me go faster." But then the end result is that no, he wants to keep her around longer, now. What if Nami had a not horrible time hooking up with him, and then felt weird about it because, you know, this guy killed her mom and kept her captive? What if she has complicated feelings about him that are definitely not Love, but when you wanna hook up and your options are limited and a hot shark guy is there, and he Knows you like no one else does, well. Oops. Arlong could be immediately down, or he could be surprised and unsure at first because of some silly little piece of affection for her that he has buried, but overall I like the idea of this being Nami's idea, and Arlong ahhh, rising to the occasion. Dubcon is great on either end (or both! What if they both feel like they're the one getting one over on the other one!), Noncon is a DNW.

I am only familiar with show canon, where their ages are more vague and handwavy, which is fine with me. I am not looking for SUPER young Nami here, but if you keep it just vaguely in the past it'll be fine. The power imbalance and Nami trying to take some control here is what I'm most interested in, so the age gap is like. THERE, but it isn't the main reason I'm interested, if that makes sense.

If you like writing flashbacks to the horrors with a happy current day, feel free to frame it as Nami remembering this happening, or with a coda at the end with Nami comparing her life then to how it is now. I like any and all ship mashups of the crew, so if you want her to have friendly casual sex with Luffy (who imo would kiss any homie), or her with Zoro (who i feel Get each other on a tortured introvert level, though i feel like Zoro is a Kinsey 5), feel free to add that in! I didn't officially request it bc I'd rather the fic focus on Nami and Arlong, but go wild if you're into adding those things on to the end! If you want to include any non-Nami ships in any present day addition, I am partial to zosan and luffy/zoro, but I'm not super picky.

Things I forgot to put in my signup because I did it at the last minute but that you can please keep in mind:

-If you got assigned me for this canon and you don't want to write explicit fic, that is also completely fine!! You can use the same energies for a Nami/Arlong kiss, or even for her just thinking about trying to seduce him and ultimately deciding against it.

-You are welcome to include the politics and ethics of the Fish-men as much or as little as you feel capable of. If you feel you can address the race allegory with nuance and care, and you like writing about that sort of thing, feel free to address it! But it is also fine to not make that a focus--just don't be racist and I will love it.

[imspardagus]

Everyday kindness 2: British values

I woke up in the middle of the night remembering Auntie Kay. Well, not so much her as her father.

Auntie Kay wasn’t our real Auntie. She was a friend, perhaps the only friend, our Mum had when she came to live in Ilford after the Second World War. I never knew, never asked, where she had come from. She was just one of those women who had enormous resilience, which they needed to cope with their weak husbands’ implicit right to dominate their environment. Women who got things done: the housework, the shopping, the cooking, the bringing up of the children. It was all that they had left after their abilities had been carelessly cast aside when the boys came home from war and needed their jobs back.

Auntie Kay’s husband was an electrician at the local electricity board. A little shrivelled weed of a man, he had a kind heart but a fierce, visceral hatred of all things Japanese (which you could afford to have back in the 1950s because our accountants hadn’t yet sold out our industries to Asia to cut the cost of making things at home), having been a guest in one of their prisoner of war camps for several years. Yes I know it is starting to read like a phoney cliché. The trouble with cliches is that a lot of the time they are true.

Auntie Kay and Uncle Frank both smoked cheap cigarettes constantly (see, I avoided saying “Like it was going out of fashion” or “like chimneys”. I’m trying.). It killed them both eventually but it gave Auntie Kay a deep gravelly voice that matched her East End ways – straight, plain speaking, loud in her dislike of unfairness and lies but not averse to stealing an edge if it was offered. It was that dislike of lies that led her to pursue the truth about her son Andrew’s death*. She was, I recall, a bit frightening and not at all genteel, which made her all the more surprising as Mum’s friend. But she was always there for us children and in the summer we would play around the swing in her garden or the massively overbuilt pond that Uncle Frank had constructed, more like a tank trap than a garden feature.

Anyway that wasn’t what I wanted to talk about.

Auntie Kay’s father had been a teacher before the war. I never met him. He died before I could, in the early fifties. He had some degenerative neurological condition that gradually destroyed him. And that’s what I woke up recalling.

One of the stories Auntie Kay told Mum was of her father’s latter years, when his balance was shot to pieces. Apparently, he had been walking over Hainault Bridge from Ley Street into the High Road when his legs collapsed under him, sending him sprawling on the pavement, from which prone position he could not get up.

A man who was passing offered no help but took the opportunity to berate him loudly for being a drunk and a disgrace, this being only early afternoon. Then, duty done, the man went on his way, and it wasn’t until a woman came along and helped him to his feet with care and concern that he was able to teeter onwards.

Auntie Kay told this story with a fury for the man’s assumption that her Dad was drunk in the middle of the day. Her father was a respectable man and was ill and deserved better than to be condemned by a loud-mouthed scoundrel. And I thought so too. It didn’t matter to me that the man could not have known of her dad’s condition. I was incensed on her behalf because a person in need of help had instead been made the victim of prejudice to satisfy another’s self-righteous anger.

These days of course it would not happen like that. These days, there would be half a dozen people standing around using their mobile phones not to call for assistance but to capture the moment to upload to Facebook or TicToK. But almost certainly there would have been some gammon-faced clown taking the opportunity to shout the odds in the fallen man’s face about his degeneracy and what was the world coming too. Just as well he wasn’t obviously an immigrant. But then again someone, probably, it has to be said, a woman, would have come to his assistance, helped him to his feet, dusted him down, maybe even offered him a coffee in the local coffee shop, made sure he was okay.

And I started to think about these “British values” that disreputable, grifting politicians lift their snouts from the trough to bang on about. They want us to “return” to them, like we are all prodigal sons who have turned our backs on our fathers’ generosity and gone swanning off on some self-indulgent woke frolic of self-destruction. But they can’t, or won’t, say what these “values” are or why they were so much better.

It’s not the world that I, a 71 year old, recall. And in any event it misses the point.

What is the point, then? The point is that “values”, like so much else that matters, are living things. They are not things to be harked back to in a fit on misty nostalgia. They should define and determine how we live now. Yes, it is good to have an eye to the past, to learn its lessons and sometimes to remind ourselves that it is our job to do better, not worse. But we can’t, and shouldn’t be trying to, live there. The past only exists in our heads (and by extension now, in books and films and hard drives and memory sticks and the Cloud). It is a country for old men’s nightmares, like Uncle Frank’s prison camp. We do not expect the Germans to hark fondly back to their Nazi aberrations. We do not expect the Japanese to want back to Pearl Harbour. We hope that they have learned from their culturally imposed misery and inhumanity to do better. And, to be fair, they have.

And so it is with us. I mean, most proximately, us English but I am embracing you, over there, you evangelising, paranoid, mammon-worshipping Yanks. If there is an expectation, it is that we will do better, that we see the sins of the past not as something to emulate but to deprecate and resolve never again to make those appalling errors of judgment.

We can be kind, we can be tolerant, we can allow ourselves to assume the best of people until they prove us wrong, we can stand up for the weak and the displaced. It is strength, not weakness to do so. We can afford to be good and decent. It is not a sin to be “woke” if being woke makes us see the needs of others for kindness and an occasional helping hand. It is the essence of being human. It draws on values that long pre-date our murky and often vicious, but also mercifully short in historical span, recent history (a history of great technological advancement but often at the expense of pain and depredation and exploitation carelessly inflicted on others). The sin is to pretend for selfish reasons that caring and kindness are luxuries and that those who have fallen by the wayside are the parasitic authors of their own misfortune. If they are doing their best to survive then we must do our best to help them. 

Jesus did not say “Blessed are the privileged for they shall have more”. He said   Treat others as you would have yourself treated, even if they are your enemy. He taught us, in the parable of the Good Samaritan, that kindness knows no national or racial boundaries.

Values are what you aspire to. They are not campaign medals to hang proudly on your chest in the vain expectation that others will respect you. Quality, integrity and decency are not slogans, buzzwords, they are measures for how we live, day to day, day on day. And our British values cannot be defined by a shouty, smug, gammon-faced man who is grateful each day that he is not as other men are. They must, for our own sakes as much as for the sake of others, respect the humanity of all people and drive us to be better, kinder, more understanding people, more willing to be the Samaritan without needing to be prompted.

Here endeth the lesson.



*Andrew died on the HMS Sheffield, a victim not so much of the Exocet missile, which failed to explode on impact, but of cyanide poisoning when the fire that started aboard the ship melted the cheap plastic coating on the miles of wiring, filling the ship with toxic fumes. A victim of friendly fire in its truest sense perhaps. Heroically, he had died trying to locate and save a friend. Values, eh?

[coldalbion]

THINGS WOT I HAVE LEARNT AFTER BEING VIRTUALLY HOUSEBOUND FOR 3 YEARS THAT MAY BE HELPFUL TO THOSE IN SELF ISOLATION AND/OR LOCKDOWN DURING THE CORONAVIRUS PANDEMIC

(Background: I have a lifelong disability and am a wheelchair user. After surgery I’ve basically been stuck living and sleeping in one room for three years. These are things I have learnt which may help, though with the caveat that everyone is different, and baseline mental health varies.)

1. YOUR MENTAL HEALTH WILL PROBABLY SUFFER - and although humans are social creatures, even the most introverted will chafe against boundaries enforced upon them by circumstance. The degree to which it suffers will be related to your mental health baseline and physical health. Understand that this IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Stimuli and enrichment methods are required. It’s why animals need such things in zoos and conservation parks. This leads us on to my next point.

2. COMPREHEND WHICH ACTIVITIES ARE ACTIVE AND PASSIVE FOR YOU Spending your confinement solely doing passive things (watching TV, Netflix, browsing the internet, scrolling through the internet) will take a load off your brain and make the time pass quicker. But if that’s all you do, the sense of disconnection increases over time. Activities which require you to *do* something, even if it’s just engaging your motor skills via video games, or lifting some cans of beans, or actively reading - these deliberate acts foster a tiny sense of achievement which gives your brain a dose of helpful chemicals. If you want to consider your activities, look up the work of Marshall McLuhan as regards “hot media” and “cold media” (See https://mediawiki.middlebury.edu/MIDD…/Hot_versus_cool_media for basic premise.) Balancing out your media intake with hot and cold activities keeps your brain active and pumping tasty neurotransmitters.

3. LIMIT YOUR SOCIAL MEDIA USAGE TO SOCIAL PURPOSES. Infinite scrolling as found on many social media platforms is a hot medium, as per McLuhan. The reason Likes exist is to give that little spike of interactivity. It’s not a conspiracy to say many platforms are designed to keep you on them so they can show you more ads. (See also https://www.theguardian.com/…/has-dopamine-got-us-hooked-on… which explains the brain chemistry angle) However, DM’s and other messaging faculties are supremely useful. Use them to interact with your friends, indulge your fandom theories. Person to person interaction requires and enhances deep-seated neurological and biophysical reflexes. Text your mates. Skype/Facetime or otherwise call them. Use the technology of the 21st century for genuine social ends, deliberately. Catch up with their lives one to one or in groupchats.

4. PICK TIMES TO CHECK THE NEWS AND STICK TO THEM. This relates to point 3 - unfortunately we live in a 24hr news cycle, with constant liveblogging of important issues. This means that we’re constantly streaming anxiety inducing situations into our brains JUST IN CASE. That’s not helpful, particularly when you can’t actually DO anything about those events - the urge to DO something is why people are panic-buying. It’s a very basic primordial need to grab resources for defence. By picking times of the day to check news, you are again, making a DELIBERATE CHOICE, enacting some small level of agency, while at the same time limiting anxiety-inducing stimuli. If the news gets too much, then don’t check it as much - or at all - and do something else.

5. IF YOU DO THINGS WITH FRIENDS, SEE IF YOU CAN DO THEM ONLINE. Run that game of DnD/Other TTRPG you’ve been meaning to. Hold your book club online. Have a few drinks online over voice-chat if you are missing the pub. Hold watch parties for your favourite shows. The key, as ever, is to be engaged rather than passive. It’s harder if you’re ill, yes, but it can be done.

6. USE YOUR IMAGINATION TO CREATE THINGS. Write that fanfic. Start that novel. Design that game. Doodle. Paint. Humans have been creating since the day we became human. Consider things from the perspective of a pre-modern person. Make handprints on your own personal cave wall - contact each other and tell spooky stories. Build a complex fantasy world. Write an account of your confinement for some person to find pieces of years after you’re gone from the world. Think about a problem, and learn how to solve it via taking online classes (See http://www.openculture.com/freeonlinecourses) Write an essay on your chosen passion or hyperfixation - nobody needs to read it but you. Treat yourself to intellectual stimulation, if that’s your thing.

7. IF YOU HAVE A SPIRITUAL. RITUAL, OR MEDITATIVE PRACTICE DO IT. It doesn’t matter if it’s not perfect, or limited in scope. This also includes atheists and those who despise woo - you have personal rituals, things you do that have Meaning to you as a person. Maybe it;s alphabetizing your music collection, or spring cleaning or cooking your favourite meal like grandma used to make. Humans have patterns they perform. When you perform them DELIBERATIVELY (or dare I say MINDFULLY) you become aware that these are the scaffolds that structure human life.

8. STRUCTURE YOUR TIME. Following on from 7, we often don’t realise the structure of our lives until it is disrupted. When that’s removed, our minds can go into freefall. If you’re isolated/in lockdown, oftentimes you won’t be able to access those structures. Rather than wait for them to to become accessible again and risk a period of feeling lost and directionless, which can enhance depression and anxiety, it’s best to develop a new structure based on the resources you have. It can be as loose or as strict as you like, but sticking to it allows us to develop a rhythm which makes time pass in recognisable fashion and gives us a sense of being-in-the-world as some sort of engaged process.

9. KEEP YOUR SLEEP PATTERN REGULAR AND LONG ENOUGH. The key here is REGULAR. Following on from 8, it’s important to keep your body well rested, as this aids your immune system and cuts down on the possibility of your body having to deal with stress . If you’re ill it’s harder to keep this regular, because sometimes your body just needs sleep to regenerate NOW. Equally in isolation, particularly if you’re feeling mentally low, it can be tempting to sleep forever, because y’know, you’re feeling low and what’s the point. (Of course the point is why we have 8 in particular, along with all the rest.)

OBVIOUSLY EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT. Particularly for those with disabilities or chronic illnesses, we may be even more limited in our activities while isolated than able bodied folks. That said, the key is to remember that certainly during this pandemic, and otherwise YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELING THIS WAY. Rubbish as it may be, many are in the same boat. If it pleases you to, seek them out - see what commonalities you have, what hopes and dreams and fascinations you may share. FIND THE OTHERS - it’s what humans have always done.

Be well.

[eriexplosion]

1, 2, 8, 9, and 10 for Athelstan (and also Ragnar if you want to do that much? ) I'm fucking in love with your headcanons as always

AHHH THANK YOU FOR THE ASK I have done Ragnar and Athelstan for all the questions because I am An Overachiever when it comes to never shutting the fuck up.

1.Their physical weak spots

Athelstan of course has his hands and feet - even once he finally is able to walk and hold a weapon again, they're never going to be the same as they were, and it will always be a weak point. His stamina is also lower than most of the Vikings, even after training - he just can't make up for a whole lifetime of training for battle. He keeps up well enough, but it's just harder for him than the others.

After his massive wound from Haraldson's raid on his village, Ragnar is always going to be a little weak on that side of his body. The majority of the wound was in his abdomen but the effects spread elsewhere too. Floki's work on him was very good, but it's still a miracle that he lived let alone was able to fight again, so a little bit of aftereffects in muscle strength are probably not unexpected.

2. Their emotional/moral weak spots

Athelstan is stronger emotionally than he really realizes I think, but he will always be easily frozen up by the fear of not being Good enough or not deserving the things that he has. Survivors guilt especially is always going to hang over him, after all of the death that surrounded him getting here. He's actually thrived here in ways that he never could at the monastery, so not only is he not dead he's. Actually doing very well for himself, which to him is MUCH WORSE.

Ragnar isn't upfront in the least, with almost anyone, and that holds him back, especially early on with Athelstan who is just trying to get answers or any sort of leg to stand on at all and Ragnar is just kind of 'lol why do you NEED to know if you're still a slave?' so really it's no wonder that Athelstan takes so long to acclimate. (This is admittedly why I like balancing him out with Floki who is surprisingly upfront about his thoughts given that people seem to take him for a liar, he just doesn't phrase them how others might expect.)

8. Bad memories/experiences

Athelstan's life has been a series of bad experiences, just, he is a SUPREMELY unlucky boy. But to expand on something I mentioned in my last batch of headcanons for him - he grew very close to another monk at the monastery, they were very close friends for several years as they grew up. Athelstan had a crush that he never mentioned, but he did very much worry he was going against god by Coveting The Company of someone, ESPECIALLY another monk (that's tempting another monk to sin! twice the sin!!!) and he never really got to resolve these feelings before his friend died of illness. He wasn't even able to be there when he passed, he found out after the fact. He blamed himself for a long time, and kind of still does on his worst days.

With how difficult of a time Lagertha seems to have getting pregnant and carrying to term, I wouldn't be surprised if her labors for both of their children were EXTREMELY difficult, so I imagine at with at least one of them there was a strong possibility of her dying in childbirth and Ragnar still remembers sitting up for the full length of an insanely long labor praying to the gods that his wife and child both make it through this.

9. Humiliating memories

One of my Athelstan headcanons is that he used to verbally stim quite a bit (think tongue clicking while he reads, humming, things like that) and it didn't go over well with the older monks as he was growing up. Getting him to stop meant long lectures, which escalated into having all discipline in front of the other young monks for some good old Public Shame until he forced himself to stay quiet like they wanted.

Ragnar has a habit of turning losses into wins, so there's actually not many memories he has that are completely humiliating. He tends to look for what he can Use in a loss, how he can turn it to his advantage. Probably one of the memories he finds both personally devastating and humiliating in a way is Rollo's betrayal - not because he didn't see it coming but because he DID see it coming and stayed in active denial until he couldn't anymore. And because of that, Arne died, Floki almost died, and the only reason Rollo wasn't executed was because of Ragnar's string pulling. It was a loss that had no gain AND it came right before his wife fucking divorced him for getting another woman pregnant. Bad series of events for Ragnar Lothbrok!

10. Fears/phobias

As mentioned above, Athelstan fears not being good enough and, once he's fully integrated into Viking culture this actually gets worse. After everything that's been done to support him he is very fucked up by the thought of somehow after everything NOT BEING GOOD ENOUGH TO DESERVE IT.

Ragnar of course has that devastating fear of loss, which controls him more than he likes to think. Failure is something that's supposed to happen to OTHER people thanks and all loss is a failure on his part to prevent it. He has Issues he just thinks that he doesn't.

[probably-haven]

How Visions Work(Theory)

genshin spoilers

there’s a lot of headcanons about the effect of visions on the body temperature of the characters with pyro or cryo visions but a lot of them stop there an i want to propose we take it one step further

so the general agreement is that pyro users run hot and cryo characters run cold but imma take a moment to talk about the science of that real quick.

if something feels warm, its because the object is expelling heat from itself to its outside environment(itself losing warmth) if something feels cold, its because it’s absorbing and taking the heat from the outside environment into itself(itself gaining warmth)

which actually matches up pretty well with how i believe their visions work which ill cover before getting into what i think that means

pyro visions work by absorbing the users body heat and before then expelling it into the environment when they wish to use it. When the vision reaches what is essentially its max storage capacity, it resumes working at normal, absorbing heat from the user until it’s used, but at this point it stabilizes, because the pyro energy built up within begins overflowing into the nearby environment, a majority of it returning to the user to keep their body temperature from getting too dangerously out of wack. But by passing through the vision, the body heat is converted into pyro energy and made more intense, so the surplus tends to linger around the user, hence the heat that can be felt when touching or around them. the user can then use their powers with either the pyro energy stored in the vision, or that which still lingers around them. 

cryo visions on the other hand work in a bit more of a complicated manor. like pyro visions and other visions, most of the energy that they get is from interaction with the user, in this instance, steadily taking heat from the environment that would have naturally have been observed by the vision had it been any other inanimate object and passing in through the vision and into the user, the process creating of the heat leaving the vision creating cryo energy, a sort of anti-heat vaccuum-like substance, which once it reaches it’s max, overflows in a way similar to the pyro vision, leaking into the nearby environment, helping to balance the user’s body temperature while the remainder lingers around them, absorbing heat from the environment. the user can then use the energy stored in the vision(less than pyro because more steps means less room) or that which still lingers around them (more because less room means more over flow), plus they need more surplus in order to balance cuz their temperature is more volatile

visions do however possess the ability to begin expelling energy early should the user’s body temperature become too dangerous, an ability that is missing from delusions of the corresponding element

-

this leads me to have a few headcanons that i really like because im obsessed with angst

1. contrary to what you might believe, after using a significant amount of their powers, Pyro users are are absolutely cold to the touch(cuz the lack of surplus energy leaves nothing to disguise or raise their low body temperature as the constantly absorbing heat to refuel) and Cryo users feel hot (the lack of surplus energy doing nothing to disguise or lower their high body temperature as the vision is constantly having to expel surrounding heat into the user in order to refuel cryo energy)

2. however during this state they are also the least likely to leave behind traces of elemental energy(like those that can be seen with elemental sight) 

3. this cycling of energy actually makes a vision behave more like a part of the user that also serves its own role in maintaining homeostasis (makes it so losing a vision is quite literally comparable to losing an organ)

4. until the vision has enough stored energy for surplus to linger, Cryo users are prone to over heating and Pyro users are prone to the opposite

5. this rapid and common changing of internal body temperature also tends to weaken their immune systems

6. the lingering surplus of energy is also more easy to manipulate than the stored energy, so while it lingers, it has a tendency to be easily influenced by the user’s emotions. 

7. yes this means accidentally freezing and setting things on fire during emotional extremes, or more subtle effects for those that are less extreme

8. in dragonspine, Cyro users are actually weaker but healthier. The lack of heat to cycle through their vision and body means less cryo energy is created, but less heat is there to build up in their bodies

9. Pyro users on the other hand- are in real big danger, unless they made sure to have large amounts of elemental energy before hand. They take longer at the torches they like because they need every bit of heat to raise their naturally low temperature and to make more pyro energy to both light the next torch, and to constantly have enough surplus that it doesn’t just steadily drain all the pyro they have. 

10. a lot of the pyro users are overly energetic and active and move around alot, which is known to raise body temperature, and whould help with this, then there’s hu tao who while energetic is not all that active, but i think her job of “guarding the border” makes her more tolerant of the low body temperature. similar to yanfei’s constitution as an adeptus. Bennet is energetic but doesn’t move around quite as much and all, but... his luck is bad enough that he just thinks everyone feels like/has to deal with that. and Diluc- we’ve all seen the fluffy jacket. Klee constantly setting grass on fire and otherwise being hyper. Amber, gliding champion of mondstad, “i feel like running” Amber. Yoimiya is pretty active and works around fire. I dont have Xinyan so i dont know for sure in her case but i assume it fits the bill. 

11. as for cryo characters- Qiqi is a zombie and Ganyu is half adeptus, different constitution. A lot of the characters are or try to be more calm and level headed, known for being kind of “slackers” to use kaeya’s words, though by this i mean they dont do excessive physical activity outside of training and that which is necessary. Diona is a bartender, often staying in one place, the opposite of pyro, keeping her body temperature down. Ayaka rarely leaves the kamisato estate. Chongyun is complicated- more on him later. Rosaria known for shirking her church duties and being basically lazy, the same as Kaeya. And Eula- i actually dont have an explanation- maybe just... the training to endure- like that one test where you have to walk through dragonspine all fancy without being thrown off. 

now as for Chongyun

him with his popsicles and yang energy, needing to maintain a cool body temperature at all times as a result of his constitution 

i mentioned a failsafe of visions, where should their users’ body temperature lean to dangerously to any one extreme, the vision will begin releasing the stored elemental energy early.

Chongyun’s however doesn’t store energy at all, instead immediately expelling all cryo energy it makes as soon as it forms so it can immediately absorb any dangerous body heat that Chongyun was exposed to in it’s making. This means that the surplus energy(the type more likely to be accidentally manipulated by emotions) around Chongyun is more than most other cryo users would have.

however, the balance is really fragile because his temperature is kept from getting out of hand almost entirely by his vision so external factors are extremely dangerous, as there is a still a cooldown between the transfer of heat the release of cryo energy- so unexpected sources of heat can cause a rapid rise in already fragile temperature that runs its course and wreaks havoc on the childe before the cryo energy is able to balance it out- and the problem is- with the surplus being easily manipulated by emotions, the sudden rise in temperature has a tendency to activate it, using it up and leaving him without a source of temperature regulation, which only worsens the problem. at which point the vision probably begins storing cryo energy until theres enough built up to reset his body temperature in one go- which usually ends with him passed out.

anyways i had a lot more planned to write but if i kept going i fear how long it’d get- i just think it has potential to evolve into a lot of cool things and theories for how the world works, and reflect the archons..... let me explain that-

so assuming anemo energy is created bey absorbing and then renewing the oxygen in the user’s blood, as opposed to dangerous body temperatures, it tends to have an anemic affect on their wielders, hence why all the anemo vision users have this tired air to them, Xiao’s... Xiao-ness- he just looks exhausted, Jean’s constant exhaustion that totally isnt made any better by her workload, Kazuha’s general calm relaxed disposition, and sucrose’s general demeanor- idk i just think anemo vision wielders give off anemic vibes, until they have enough surplus for the taken oxygen to replenish

except for venti- who doesn’t actually use a vision, who is literally a wind sprite, made of air- always running around and being all energetic- because he doesn’t face these problems- if anything he has extra energy and air to use. He’s basically the opposite. (windrise may have some weight in this-)

which means other archons may model this-

im not sure about geo but with electro

assuming that the constant transfer of electricity through the user’s body would eventually have a frying effect that shortens their lifespan over time(an idea largely inspired by Lisa’s voice line on visions and other theories on it) then Baal’s steady eternity serves as another opposite to this and yet pursuing eternity it becomes odd that she would give visions at all, so i feel archons must get some benefit from giving visions or she wouldn’t have done it-

but anyways imma stop now- hopefully someone found this interesting and runs with it, but if not it makes sense too

... actually geo might have something to do with an erosion-like metaphor, similar to what was brought up in the azdaha fight

still thinking about hydro tho, and im not even gonna bother with dendro

....

..... can you tell that I kin Sucrose and Albedo yet? It’s not even funny istg it’s becoming a problem .... actually scratch that i have a dark sense of humor, its kinda pretty funny

[acourtofsnakes]

Of Crowns and Armour, part 2| Bodyguard! Mando x Royal! Reader

Summary: Will Mando be true to his word about sneaking you out? Or will everything go wrong at the last moment

Warnings: Swearing, drinking, brief mentions of death, subtle references to sex (not explicit), not completely canon

Pairings: Bodyguard! Mando x Royal! Reader

Word Count: 4.3k+ 

Square filed: Bodyguard AU/ Taken Captive (hinting and leading into it ahead of next chapter) AN: @mandalorianbingo 

This is the outfit for the bar and here is Din’s car! And yes, that IS Billy Russo’s car from Punisher

Bingo Masterlist

Of Crowns and Armour: Part 1| Part 2

Permanent taglist: @greeneyedblondie44 @mamacitapascal​

The following day, you both had a meeting with your Grandma about public appearances and such, and then the Mandalorian escorted you back to your room, and promptly disappeared. 

You didn’t see him for the rest of the day.  

He wasn’t present at dinner and you couldn’t find him anywhere. 

By the time 8 o’clock rolled around, you had decided to believe he’d changed his mind about getting you to the bar. 

Still, maybe you should just sneak out. Everyone was expecting you and like Hell were you going to let them down. 

Besides, you weren’t afraid of the Mandalorian, or his threats. Your grandparents had already said the worst things they could have done, so what else did you have to lose? Short of locking you in a tower, they couldn’t do much else. 

And so, that’s why you were sat at your dressing table, finishing off the last of your makeup when there was a knock on the door. “Darling?”

Your grandmother. Shit. 

Hurriedly, you rose from your dressing table, looking for your robe, anything to cover your outfit. If she saw you, you’d be thrown in that metaphorical tower quicker than expected. 

“The Mandalorian said you weren’t very well, that you’d taken ill after dinner. I just wanted to see if you needed anything.” 

That froze you. 

The Mandalorian had lied to your grandmother? The Queen… on his first day?

He had lied. To cover you so you could go out with your friends. 

Just what kind of game was he playing? Was this an attempt to get you to like him? Did he just... not care? Or was this all some big elaborate trick designed to see if you would finally listen to your grandparents. 

Before the conspiracies could suck you too deep, you realised you should probably answer her. 

You worked to make your voice sound muted, tired, “Yes, he’s right… I was out for a walk in the garden and took a turn. I almost fainted.” You shrugged helplessly at the print of a forest hung on the wall, not knowing what else to think of. 

“Fainted? Oh, darling, do you need me to call for the nurse? I can have her here straight away to check you-“

“No! No, that’s okay… I think… I think I just need some rest.” You bit your lip, praying that would be enough and then you threw in a very believable yawn. 

You heard your grandma hesitate, “Okay… But if you aren’t any better by the morning, I’ll call for the nurse. Sleep well, darling.”

“Thank you… I will.” You knew she remained unconvinced, but her footsteps retreated from the door, leaving you bewildered still. 

Why on Earth would he lie on his first day? 

Shaking your head, you finished off getting ready, wondering if you should put on your heels or trainers – would you be going there like a normal person… or sneaking out of the palace gardens? 

Just when you were about to reach for the trainers, there was another knock, freezing you in place. 

“Princess?” Your bodyguard’s deep baritone rumbled through the wooden door. 

You sighed in relief, instead grabbing the heels and padding barefoot to the door, which you pulled open, “Hey.” 

Mando stood there, dressed in a similar dark suit to yesterday, same boots and same gloves. 

And the same helmet. 

You really needed to ask him about that.  

It was still facing you, and the Mandalorian was… silent. 

You raised an eyebrow, cocking your head, “Uh, can I help you?” You waved a hand in front his visor, and a tingle passed over your skin, almost as if… as if someone had raked an eye down you. 

The Mandalorian’s gloved hands flexed, “Your outfit…” His voice… was it a little huskier than usual? 

You looked down at your outfit, a pair of slim black jeans and a sheer mesh top embroidered with flowers. “Is there something wrong with it?” It wasn’t over the top, or even inappropriate. Sure, it bared off your belly and the very top of your waist, but it was tasteful. 

Mando’s helmet glinted with the light as he shook his head, “No, no, it’s…” He trailed off, clearing his throat and then he shoved his hands into the pockets of his trousers, “Ready to go?” 

Strange. 

You nodded, raising your heels, “One second.” As you stooped down to put them on, you couldn’t help but ask, “Can I ask why you lied to the Queen on the first day of your job?” 

You heard, rather than saw him shrug, “You asked me to find a way to get you to see your friends. So I did.”

Not a good enough explanation. 

You cast a glance up through your eyelashes as you secured the stap of one heel round your ankle, “But you’re my personal protection officer. The whole point is keeping me in and doing what my grandma asks you to do.” 

Mando tilted his head down to look at you, the movement oddly…. Attractive, “No, my job is to keep you safe. And your grandma asked me to also keep you cared for. And if finding a way to get you to see your friends safely where I can watch you every single second, is keeping you cared for… then I’m not breaking the rules. I would rather know where you are than encourage you to sneak off.” 

You contemplated that as you strapped up the other ankle, “Hmm.” Rising to your feet, you shut your bedroom door, “You’re an odd one, aren’t you?” 

It felt like Mando may have flashed you a grin under the helmet, but instead, he just offered you his arm, “Likewise, princess.” 

He led you out of the palace, avoiding the butlers and guards, and took you out the way you snuck out yourself. A long-forgotten door behind a willow tree in the garden. 

Of course he knew. 

But that didn’t matter because…

On the street outside, was parked an absolutely gorgeous sleek black car, sitting pretty and beautiful in the dusky light. 

The soft squeak of joy that escaped your lips was inevitable, “You drive a Wraith?!” You slipped your arm free of his, hurrying over to examine every inch of the car. 

“You like cars?” The Mandalorian couldn’t hide his surprise, watching you move around his vehicle and carefully touch the gloss paintwork. 

You peered over the bonnet at him, raising an eyebrow, “Surprised?” Turning your attention back to the car, you nodded, “Always. I used to go to car shows with my dad all the time…” You looked at the car again, thinking back to those times. 

Mando cocked his head slightly, a move that you were starting to recognise as a sort of trademark for him, but he didn’t push what you said “It’s not my everyday car. This is for work.” He walked to the passenger door, opening it for you and standing behind is as he watched you almost reluctantly make your way to his side. 

“It’s beautiful…” As you walked round, you paused as you noticed the number plate. You frowned at the letters and numbers for a second, before realising what they spelt, “Razor Crest? What’s that?” 

He merely shrugged, motioning for you to get in, not giving anything away.

Another thing to add to the list. 

Still, you settled into the car, watching him come around to the driver’s side. 

He moved with easy grace, a confident walk that was both balanced and silent. All of his movements were graceful, actually. Like he was moving to some inner tune only he could hear. Each sweep of his arm, shift of his body seemed perfectly choreographed, even with the helmet that you knew would block his peripheral. 

“You’re staring.” He closed his door, turning the engine on and it purred to life, earning a sigh of delight from yourself. 

“You move like you’re trained in dance. Or battle.” You mimicked his pondering head tilt as you watched him put on his belt. 

How could he even drive in that thing? Surely it was illegal.

The Mandalorian let out a soft huff that might have been a laugh and lifted his hand to the wheel, “That might be the first compliment you’ve given me since I started.” 

Your reply came late, because immediately, you had zeroed in what had just been revealed by his movement. 

The angle of his hands on the wheel had caused the sleeve of his suit jacket to rise up, exposing a strip of tanned, olive skin before it flowed into his leather glove. 

It sent a lick of heat through you, making you aware of the small space, the smell of is cologne, and the darkness around you. 

You just… couldn’t stop staring. 

Sure, you’d only known him a few hours, but… that strip of skin was almost like he was naked. It was smooth, the tendons of his inner wrist jutting out in a way that almost made your mouth water, before you realised exactly what you were doing. 

Quickly, you scrambled for a response, “Well, it hasn’t even been a day. Give it time.” It was an almost herculean effort to tear your eyes away from his skin. 

God’s above, get a grip. You’re not some repressed Victorian catching a glimpse of a lady’s ankle.

~~

~~~~

The night was shaping up to be really quite lovely. 

Before going to the bar, the Mandalorian had parked in the next street over and introduced you to the team he had handpicked for the night. 

No palace guards of course, since this was all strictly hush-hush. 

His team was small, consisting of two women – one who was broader built and wore a few braids in the side of her dark hair whom Mando introduced as Cara and the other slender and built almost like an assassin from the books you loved to read. She was called Fennec. They both seemed lovely, and respectful. 

There had been another man, wearing a similar helmet to Mando’s, who simply called himself ‘Fett’ in a gravelly voice. 

The final member of his team was a tall, older looking man, with rich skin and an even richer personality. He was open and bold, very friendly and didn’t stop complimenting you, and introduced himself as Greef. 

They had also informed you that your codename was Nova. Which you had to admit, did thrill you. Just a bit. 

You had a codename.

Mando and his team had watched you go in, staying a few steps behind in the line before nodding to the bouncer at the door and heading in themselves. He’d taken up a position in a shadowy alcove, and… you actually didn’t see much of him for the rest of the night. 

He stayed pretty well concealed, even when he was out in the open. Even with that helmet on. 

His team had too. The only time you noticed any of them, was when you really tried hard to look. 

Maybe… maybe it wouldn’t be that bad if they had to stay. At least these guys knew how to keep the distance and not hover over you like some kind of helicopter. It allowed you to feel… normal. 

Finn’s performance had been amazing as usual, and you’d all gushed as much when he’d returned to the table with a round of shots. 

Casting a glance round for them out of curiosity, you met the gaze of the woman near the stage, her chin length red hair flashing green for a moment as a laser light passed over it. 

You’d noticed her quite a lot tonight, starting from almost as soon as you walked over to your usual table to meet the gang. 

She’d been standing near a potted fir tree and looked dead at you as you approached. 

You put it down to someone who recognised you as the princess – it wasn’t uncommon. People had a habit of staring at someone well-known. 

Turing your attention back to your friends, you re-joined the conversation.

“So, grandma really won’t let up with the PPO thing then?” Finn sipped his beer, crossing one leg over the other and he looked at you. 

Groaning, you shook your head, “Nope. Not at all.” You had just given them all a quick rundown of what had happened yesterday – Poe already knowing of course. “She says this is it now. The Mandalorian is here to stay.” You sighed, swirling your cocktail around its glass. 

Rey let out a thoughtful hum, “My step-dad told me about something a little while ago… He said back when he was an agent, there were a group of people who were like… major under-cover Special Ops. Sort of like bounty hunters, I guess. They were trained to take out any threat before it even happened, with no trace or evidence” 

Poe snorted, “So, you’re saying her PPO is an assassin?” He laughed, looking at you, “Careful you don’t piss him off, he might slit your throat in the dead of night.” 

Rey threw an olive from her drink at him, “No, you asshole. They’re not assassins. They were sent out on some of the most dangerous missions. Not a lot of people knew about them, they were like ghosts. Luke said he knew some, and the stories he would tell were… horrific. They got caught up in some really brutal things. Lots of people hated them, and there was this big scandal between the Mandalorian’s and this other group. They released hundreds of secure files, revealing the identities of the Mandalorian operatives. A whole bunch of them were killed and so were their families. That’s why they keep the helmets, even now. So no one knows who they are… so they can protect their families back home.” 

Your drink turned a little sour in your mouth as Rey finished speaking. You had called him a circus freak, laughed at his helmet… what if he was one of those operatives? What if he had been… tortured… watched his family killed? 

A cold sweat licked down your spine, bringing with it the memories of blood, of that awful, awful night you lost your parents. 

Quickly downing the rest of your cocktail, you stood up, “I’m just gonna run to the bathroom, don’t start the next round of shots without me.” You pointed at Finn, who had a tendency to be an eager beaver when it came to shots. 

“Want me to come with you?” Rey looked up from her drink, tilting her head curiously, her eyes showing concern. 

You laughed, brushing it off and scooping up your bag, “Rey, this isn’t Hutt’s.”

Hutt’s was one of the more… interesting bars you and your group often frequented. 

It was more on the side of what your grandmother would call, ‘unsavoury.’ But as long as you didn’t cause too much trouble for the guards, it was a fun night out. It also came with the guarantee of no-one looking too closely at your ID and realising who you were – of course, you had a fake ID. Not fake for the age… just the last name.

Poe laughed, shooting you a grin, “Oh, honey, you know how to have a good time at Hutt’s.” He dropped you a wink, referring to the night in question that had gotten you into that final point of trouble. 

The night of the body shots and table dancing. There had been more, but thankfully, your grandma didn’t know that. 

You raised your eyebrows, wearing a matching grin to Poe’s, “And so do you, if I recall correctly.” Amongst you all, Poe was known as… not exactly a player, but he did have a certain way with the ladies – and the occasional man. 

Finn laughed, clapping, “Ooooh, she’s right! Do you remember – “ 

Before you got sucked into a game of reliving your messiest nights, you slipped away to the bathroom. 

Just before you reached the door, you noticed the red-headed lady standing near a large potted plant, watching you again. 

Weird. Maybe you should go and see if she knows you. 

You shrugged, pushing open the door and heading inside. 

~~

~~~

God, Mando hated parties. 

Well, you couldn’t exactly call this a party. 

This was… actually kind of better than most of what he’d been stationed in previously. 

This place, Tano’s, was rather inviting, with rich décor and open spaces. There were lush plants everywhere, softening the sleek lines of the furniture.  The warm lighting was reminiscent of a sunset, providing a lovely ambience. It helped that he knew the lady who had once owned it, before passing it on to a friend. 

The bar was wide, a big sort of U shape with lots of seats. There were multiple raised seating areas, and a sunken area that faced the big stage where the princess’ friend has sung a little while ago. He was actually pretty good. 

But everything else… the clustered groups of people, the changing music, the flashing lights… 

He had never come to care for it. 

Give him open space and gentle quiet any day of the week. 

Too much noise and movement brought him back to that place. 

Reminded him of the things that had been done. 

Maybe he should go out for a breath of air. 

He almost laughed aloud at that thought. Like he would take off the helmet here. 

Too many people to see him, too many phones and cameras which might capture his face and release it to the world – to his enemies. 

God, he was on edge tonight. 

Of course, it had everything to do with the surroundings and nothing to do with the grins and flirting that the princess had exchanged with her dark headed friend. 

Or the way they had danced earlier. 

Or the way he casually slipped his arm round her shoulders as they watched Finn perform. 

He was aware that Dameron was a close friend of the princess’ but… something had flickered inside him as he’d watched. 

But that was to do with the surroundings. 

Suddenly, Fennec Shand was at his side, “Is Nova with you?” She leant against the bar casually, head tilted up like they were just having a normal, easy conversation. 

Mando straightened instantly, turning his head to her and he tried to keep his voice steady, “What? No. She was going to the bathroom. I can’t exactly go in there can I. You were going in with her.” 

“I watched her go in, but I thought you had someone in there? So… where is she?” Fennec was reaching for her comm’s earpiece, listening to the volley of updates from everyone stationed around the room  

Mando looked sideways at Fennec, his eyes almost burning holes through the visor of his helmet, “What do you mean ‘where is she?’ You were supposed to be tailing her into the bathroom.”

Fennec stared at him, shaking her head, “No, you told me to watch the door and wait for her, so it didn’t attract attention.” She scanned the room, searching the crowds of people for any sight of the Princess. 

Mando growled, his hand coming up to the top of his helmet, like he wanted to rake his gloved fingers through his hair, “I didn’t… Fuck! It doesn’t matter. We need to find her. Go.”

He practically flew across the room on a storm cloud, eyes focused on the group of friends. 

The clock began, your safety at the top and the hands od danger getting read to mark away seconds of your life.

The other girl, Rey, looked up when she saw Mando approach, “Oh! Hey, are you-“

Mando cut her off, not to be rude, but because that clock was already beginning to tick, “Have you seen her? Has she come back from the bathroom?” His voice was tight, slipping out through gritted teeth and the helmet made it sound rougher than he intended. 

Rey blinked a few times, a small frown appearing between her eyes and she looked around, realising, “I… No. She hasn’t. We thought she’d gone to find you.” Her eyes were confused, at the urgency. 

Mando stifled a hiss of annoyance, “No. I haven’t seen her come out.” 

Finn looked at him next, laughing a little, “Relax, man. It’s not unusual that she slips off at some point in the night. We’re always losing her.” He shared a laugh with Rey, who nodded affectionately. 

Did they not realise what was happening here? How were they being so… so blasé about this?

Finn was still talking, “She shows up eventually, usually with some wild story that puts us all to shame.” He grinned, a grin that said exactly what kind of story you came back with and Mando realised it wasn’t that they didn’t care, it was that they were used to her running off. 

But this feeling… the pricking in the back of his neck… 

This wasn’t just some romp in the night with a stranger. 

It was more than this. 

He knew it was. 

Some wild part of Mando snapped, and he grabbed Finn by the front of his leather jacket, hauling him up out of the chair in one fluid mood, “This is not a fucking joke.” His voice was a rough snarl, that beast poised and snapping its teeth, “Your friend is missing, and you’re sitting there laughing about it and thinking she’s run off for a quick fuck with a stranger? You really think so little of her?” Mando’s free hand twitched, a cloud of fury surging over him and almost choking him. 

“Hey!! Hey, let’s not start fighting with ourselves, here.” Poe had jumped up, and was facing Mando, tapping his arm, “Relax, okay? I’m sure there’s a logical explanation for this. Finn never once said she sleeps around, or even implied that. She just… really lets it all go some nights, which you can’t blame her for. She wouldn’t have run off for no reason, so just… relax.” He raised his eyebrows, his voice calm, trying to diffuse the situation. 

Mando blinked behind his helmet, the haze clearing from his vision as he saw Finn’s wide eyes, the faint tracery of concern and a little fear in his expression. 

Horror overtook the fear, wiping it out and Mando let Finn go quickly, soothing his jacket and he raised his hands, “I’m sorry. Just… Text her. Please.” He stumbled back one ungraceful step, and then turned, almost lurching with the uncharacteristic, unsteady gait as he walked away, feeling her friend’s eyes on the back of his polished head. 

The urge he had to throttle Finn almost terrified him and he realised with a shock that in merely fifteen hours, he had become that protective of the princess.

But that was his job. 

And this… this wouldn’t be the same as last time. 

He pressed a button on his helmet which activated the comms system, “I need eyes on Nova. Now. She was last seen heading to the bathroom. Fennec is checking there, making sure she didn’t get out. 

Fett, I want you on the terrace.” He moved through the crowd, trying his hardest not to shove people out of the way, “Cara, Greef, cover both doors. No one in and no one out until we find her.” 

~

The clock continued ticking down, each second signing away another portion of her life. 

The princess had just… vanished. 

I will tear down this whole building. 

Mando raked his eyes over every single face he came across, and that wild, untamed part of him wanted to scream at everyone, threaten them until they gave up where she’d gone. 

The minutes ticked by, each one feeling like an hour. 

I will tear down the whole city. 

How could he have been so stupid? He had his best team, his most trusted people in the room tonight. Not the palace guards or security, his handpicked agents from his highest team. 

And they had still managed to lose her. 

~The sounds of screams filled the room, echoing over and over along with the unspoken truth that would haunt him until the day he died. 

He had failed.~

The Mandalorian began to make his way through the crowd to the bathroom. 

Maybe Fennec would tell him she was in there, or even that she had slipped out of the windows like an alley cat and snuck away into the night. 

Yeah, that’s probably what happened. Maybe she had… maybe she had gone to meet someone. Didn’t want babysitters trailing after her. 

The Queen had told him that she’d be a handful, that he would have to always have one eye on the surroundings and one eye on her. 

~He’d been too late. 

Too late to realise, too late to get moving. 

Too late to save them.~ 

She’d escaped, that’s all. 

The feeling in his gut told him otherwise. 

He met Fennec as she came out of the bathroom, “No one in there. None of the windows were busted either, they’re too small to let anyone out. She didn’t escape.” 

Fuck.

Trying not to think too hard about the cool sweat beginning to prickle his skin, he turned, giving the room one last sweep. 

Dameron and the others were clustered at their table, looking at their phones and shaking their heads, concern on their faces. 

They hadn’t heard from her. 

It was true then. The sinking feeling in his bones, in his heart… it was right. 

Mando reached to activate his comms, a coloured spotlight from the stage bouncing over the bar. 

If he hadn’t been so alert, he never would have seen it. 

A flash of light, like metal reflecting. 

Mando walked across the floor, slipping around a laughing couple and reaching the bar, the hairs on the back of his neck prickling in anticipation – and dread. 

There, lying on top of a discarded beer mat, was a small, metal object. 

Mando scooped it up, holding it up in his gloved palm so he could see it through the visor. A tiny little thing, smaller than a keychain…

But it felt like he was holding a live grenade. 

The object was shaped a little like the letter V, but the top sections were flared out, sort of like an arrow. 

To anyone, it would mean nothing. 

To a certain few, they would be able to notice that it looked similar to the Mandalorian’s own visor. 

But, to a select handful of people… They would know this symbol. Know which woman is belonged to.

Which was why Mando felt the world slip out from under his booted feet, the noise of the bar turning into the sound of screaming, a child’s screams, his child, begging and pleading. The lights reflecting off the wall turned into flames and the burst of a gun, flashing across his vision. He saw blood, saw the bodies littering the floor. Felt his own failure and sick terror turn his blood to ice. 

It was happening again.

She hadn’t slipped away. 

She’d been taken. 

By Bo-Katan. 

Previous| Next

[masterjedilenawrites]

Blueberries and Cowboys: Chapter 1

A choose-your-own-adventure style fic. First, 2 platonic chapters for set-up/build-up. And then, the story will split into 2 paths depending on your romantic pairing preference: You and Thrawn, or You and Eli.

Set Up: You are an outcast at the Imperial Academy, which means your only options for friends are the tall and stoic Chiss Mitth'raw'nuruodo and his translator from Wild Space Eli Vanto. The three of you get along, for the most part... Thrawn is obsessed with acing all the exams, Eli is desperate to show up his classmates, and you... well, you just want to feel like you belong somewhere. And hiding beneath it all are your unspoken feelings, longing to be realized, but fearful of ruining the balance of your trio's friendship....

Chapter Masterlist

Chapter 1: The Problem

Pairing: None yet, just a nice friendship trio

Chapter Warnings: Mentions of bullying

Length: 2k

AO3 Link (In case you like it better over there, it’s okay, no judgement)

You wound down the hallways of the building with a scowl on your face. You would never grow used to this ridiculously long walk, from your first class of the day to the next, so conveniently located on complete opposite sides of the facility. Whoever had designed your schedule this year was either an utter imbecile or had done so on purpose, just to tick you off. At this point in your education here at the Imperial Academy, you knew either scenario was equally likely. You weren't exactly liked by the staff or your peers, and there were plenty of idiots to go around.

The one saving grace of your journey was that you would eventually cross paths with the only two friends you had managed to make in this elitist hell-hole: Eli Vanto and Mitth'raw'nuruodo.

Eli would be the first, his class letting out just a few corridors away from yours. He was leaning against an alcove in the wall just out of the way of passing traffic, his usual spot. When you rounded the corner, he pushed off and fell into step beside you.

"What happened?" you asked, having noticed he was scowling as well. His resting face usually made him look like a sad puppy, so for him to have such a prominent frown this early in the morning, something really upsetting must have happened.

"Lost the debate," he grumbled.

Ah, you'd forgotten he had that today. You and Thrawn had helped him practice for weeks, covering every possible argument and rebuttal from his opponent on the assigned topic. He had it in the bag, or so you'd all thought.

"What? How? Don't tell me you got stage-fright."

He glared over at you. "No, I wasn't nervous or anything. I did everything perfect. But all Arden had to do was throw in a few snide remarks about my accent and that got the whole class turned in his favor."

Eli started biting down on one of his nails in frustration. You frowned along with him. That was a variable none of you had accounted for while practicing.

"Is Arden the pimply-faced guy?"

"Yeah."

"Hate him," you muttered.

"Yeah."

The two of you paused at the doors of a lift, waiting for the previous occupants to exit before filing in yourselves and punching the button for the next level up. Eli was still chewing on his nails.

"Stop," you exclaimed, swatting his hand away from his mouth. "I told you that's a bad habit."

"Oh yeah, what's this then?" He grabbed one of your hands and twisted it around so you could see the splotches of chipped polish on your nails.

You jerked your hand away and held it defensively against your chest. "There's only so much I can do with this insane caseload, okay? I haven't had time to think about my nails."

"Then why'd you paint 'em in the first place?" he said with a bit of a laugh. Well, at least his mood was improving, even if it was at your expense. 

You swatted at him just as the lift doors opened. "Maybe I want to try feeling pretty sometimes, not like some zombie student."

You both were keenly aware that the cadets waiting to board the lift had backed up significantly as you passed, despite not having been in your way at all. They were all whispering too, and by the tone, it was probably not about very nice things. It was always like that, wherever you went. Even if they didn't know your reputations of being from wild, "backwater" planets, they need only hear one of you speak to know you were different. And in these Core worlds, different was inferior.

"You know you don't have to follow our course map, right?" Eli spoke up again, once you'd put some distance between the lift of sneering cadets. "Me, I don't have a choice. Thrawn's determined to graduate in as little time as possible, and I'm the sorry sucker who has to follow 'im. I'd run far away from the guy if I were you. Enjoy your freedom."

Eli complained about the last member of your trio, Thrawn, at least six times a day. And half of those complaints ended with him telling you to make a break for it. You knew he didn't mean any of it; the two of you had spent the last holiday break at a bar, and in his drunkenness, Eli had confessed to being secretly grateful for having met the Chiss. He only complained to cope with the stress.

And you... well, you weren't really sure why they let you hang around. They'd both easily become your closest friends, but you weren't always sure where you stood with them. Maybe they did like your company. Or maybe they just felt sorry for you. They were both friendly enough, allowing you to join them on Thrawn's "fast track" out of the Academy. But you had a feeling that as soon as you all graduated, they'd leave you behind and move on to whatever mission the Emperor had planned for Thrawn in the Navy.

You tried not to think about it too much.

Speaking of your friend, Mitth'raw'nuruodo emerged from a classroom doorway just a few paces ahead. Right on time, as always. His specialized "tactical statistics" class ended several minutes ago, but he had learned to carefully time your path so he wouldn't have to stand awkwardly in the hall waiting. It was for the best; you and Eli may sometimes draw unwanted attention, but poor Thrawn always stood out like a very big, very blue sore thumb.

"We have a problem," he stated, coming up on your other side. You never had to ask Thrawn what was wrong; if he had a problem worth sharing, you would hear about it.

"Hallway problem or 'fresher problem?" asked Eli.

You'd all agreed long ago there were some topics of conversation best had out of earshot from any passerby. And since most scurried out of the refresher whenever Thrawn went in, that became the only suitable place for such conversations, if it couldn't wait until your dorms at the end of the day.

"Refresher," Thrawn said. He looked down at you. "You'll be late for your class."

You shrugged. "If it's important...."

"It is."

You trusted him; he wasn't the type to make up drama or blow things out of proportion. The three of you picked up the pace, turning right instead of the usual left, and slipping into the men's bathroom. Thankfully it was already empty. Eli turned the lock just in case.

Thrawn wasted no time diving into the particulars. "I have come to learn our flight instructor, Commander Burdick, intends to sabotage my simulation tests next month. He is acquainted with Admissions Supervisor Aberdeen and understands that a failing mark will require a remedial course before being allowed back into the program. This would set my graduation back several months."

That was a problem. The flight course was one of the longer ones, and mandatory, and you were all so close to finally being through with it. Just one more round of simulation tests and then an actual flight around Coruscant.

Eli was groaning by the door. "You've gotta be kidding."

"I am not," said Thrawn in a measured voice. He knew it was just an expression, but you knew it was one of his pet peeves.

Eli wasn't listening, instead kicking at the tiled floor and mumbling about how this was so typical and why can't we just be left alone.

You turned to Thrawn. "Just you?"

"The ill will seems to be mostly directed toward me. Supervisor Aberdeen does not appreciate the special provisions that have been afforded me on behalf of the Emperor, and has coerced Commander Burdick to indulge in his spitefulness. However, I would not put it past them to also have plans for either of you, as well. They are aware of our... connection."

You were certain he was about to say friendship but changed his mind. Did he not know the word for it? Was he too embarrassed to admit it? Or did he truly not see you or Eli as anything more than connections?

"Okay, but..." Eli was still processing things. "How? What's their plan?"

"I purposefully said the Commander intended to sabotage the tests. He does not yet have a plan."

"So... we stop 'im," said Eli.

"Or," you countered, a mischievous smirk playing about your lips. "We don't."

Eli merely blinked at you, but Thrawn was very interested. "Go on," he encouraged.

"If we learn what the plan is, or maybe even give him a plan of our own, then we can let it play out and ensure he gets in trouble for it."

Thrawn rubbed his chin as he considered. You knew he'd soon slip into his usual routine of pacing and muttering in unknown languages, which could take a while and make you even later for your class. You cleared your throat, drawing his two red eyes back to yours.

"Surely a Commanding Officer wouldn't dare do anything to sabotage you directly," you offered. "He'll either look for some help or pin it on someone else, in case there's an investigation."

Thrawn rubbed his chin again. "You think we should influence the Commander on who to pick to be his... what do you call it, ensipki?"

"Scapegoat," Eli said quickly. It was becoming second nature for him to translate what was left of the holes in Thrawn's understanding of Basic.

"Right, and then we can expose the deception just before the tests," you said. "Before there's time to come up with another plan."

Thrawn's eyes narrowed in thought. "A decent idea, but it would require the education of one of our fellow cadets to be jeopardized. It should not be our first plan."

"But if he's going to use one of them anyway..." you started to protest.

"Then we should seek to expose his connection to that person as well. This is an instructor who is not serving the best interest of several of his students. He should be the only one blamed."

You weren't going to let his logic win this time. As far as you could tell, this was a perfect opportunity to get revenge on your obnoxious classmates. "It's going to be a lot easier to take issue up with the Board against a student than an instructor. We can try to expose both people, but if we can't, then at least we can nail one of them. It's called a scapegoat for a reason."

Eli spoke up before Thrawn could respond, throwing you a meaningful look. "Arden's in his class. Different time, same instructor."

"Who is this Arden?" asked Thrawn.

"The racist asshole who unfairly stole Eli's grade on the debate today," you said. You'd picked your words deliberately, and it did the trick.

"Very well. We have our scapegoat," said Thrawn.

You winked at Eli and he hid a smile.

"So," Thrawn continued, fully invested now. "We will need to push Arden toward the Commander as a viable accomplice. We will need to gain insight into the details of their plan. And then we will need to ensure those details are brought to light at the right moment."

The three of you looked among each other. This was probably the tenth plan this year alone that you'd all devised to take care of some kind of "problem." Just last week Thrawn  had discovered misinformation in one of your textbooks that took the three of you on a field trip to the lower levels of Coruscant to find a con-artist who'd sold a quarter-hundred counterfeit materials to the Academy library. You'd only had the weekend to catch up on all the rest of your homework, and here you all were again, ready to jump into another scheme.

You had suggested the idea, so you were already grinning and ready to go. Thrawn had just put together a to-do list, and you could almost see the gears in his head continuing to spin as he determined more points to the plan.

The deciding vote was Eli. Though he often complained about not having a choice, you and Thrawn rarely forced him to do anything and were always respectful if he had a differing opinion. This time, you had a feeling he'd be on board.

He set his hands on his hips and smirked. "Disgracing a shitty classmate and a shitty teacher in order to save our grades? Let's do it."

Next Chapter: The Plan >

[copperbadge]

Hi. I love your blog! I’m in the middle of a second major depressive episode (my first was in my teens) and like you were, I’m unemployed and living with my parents. I’m now on medication and getting help and applying for jobs, but no luck so far. How did you ‘turn your life around’ and how long did it take you – going from depressed to starting a successful career in the non-profit world? Any advice on how I could do the same?

Oh, Anon. I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this but in no way did I turn my life around, and I definitely didn’t build a career intentionally. 

A lot of the below is general advice -- you are already doing great! -- but I figure some people who are where you are but not quite as far along could be helped by it. Thanks for the opportunity :)

So, here’s the thing: depression is the kind of mental illness that can just be with you for the rest of your life even when it’s not impacting your life. Some depression is situational and therefore (theoretically) escapable, but some of us are just never going to forge enough serotonin on a regular enough schedule. So it’s not a matter of beating depression or backing away from it, but of learning good coping mechanisms: how to recognize an episode is coming, how to keep functioning in a depressive episode, when to ask for help. 

And unfortunately while I can tell you what works for me, this is going to vary by person. Some people feel sad all the time; some people feel numb; some people feel okay but are overly impacted by minor setbacks or frustrations, or can do normal life stuff but any deviation from routine sends them into a spiral. These are just examples; there are more. My methods of coping are stuff like building lists, making sure that those lists have stuff like “communicate with friends” on them, being on specific platforms that make that communication easy, and inasmuch as I can, avoiding drama and volatile emotions. Doing the bare minimum of housework to keep myself from being MORE depressed. Making sure my work gets done so that I keep my job, even if I feel like other parts of my life might be out of control. 

And as I’ve recently mentioned, I write fiction as a stress response. If I’m not writing but I’m doing okay -- keeping my house clean, feeling good, having fun -- that’s fine. Not optimal, I like writing, but it’s fine. If I’m writing, I’m probably a little stressed, but I’m managing it. If I’m not writing AND I’m not functioning well, or I know I’m unhappy, then I know that the depression is probably worse than I think it is, and I need to go into survival mode. 

Some people need meds -- taken year round, even when you’re not depressed. There’s no shame in that and if you aren’t currently using medication, I would recommend at least investigating its use to see if it could help. [ETA: Sorry I 100% missed the part where you are on medication, but this is still useful for others so I’m leaving it in.]

So like...”how long did it take me” is a tough question to answer because I’m still in it. I will be, all my life, and once I came to accept that, I could figure out ways to keep it from devastating me. How long it took me to establish good coping mechanisms? Well, I was diagnosed at 17, which is a rough age to be when it starts happening, but I managed to survive college (barely) and I feel like I had a pretty good handle on managing it by the time I was, I guess about 25. The point at which I was unemployed and living with my parents was the absolute low point of my life, when I was 23-24, but that was compounded by external factors. As soon as I got out of my parents’ house, things improved; as soon as I had a job, even a truly shitty one, I felt like life was survivable. (A huge coping mechanism in those days was actually Netflix, back when it was a mail-you-a-DVD service, because I knew at least a few times a week I would get mail addressed to me with a nice surprise in it.) 

And the thing about being here now is -- my parents gave me three grand to get out of the house, find a place of my own, and survive 2-3 months until I could find a job. I couldn’t have done any of what I’ve done without three solid thousand dollars, and even then I got lucky. I quit my first, super shitty job (the only time I have EVER quit a job) and got a job with my last place of work literally two week before the 2008 financial crisis hit. That job happened to be a very visible if very ground-floor administrative position, and from there I was able to impress people who wanted to hire me up to the next administrative level, and from there I was promoted into the department because I showed an active and visible interest in the work they did. That was intentional, but literally nothing before it was anything other than “I need a job and this one offers health insurance.”  

Once you have a job in which advancement is possible, which again is a matter somewhat of luck, advancing is just a matter of maintaining a good work-life balance while doing good work and showing you’re interested in supporting the mission of the company. Documenting the work you do, asking for raises, asking or applying for advancement -- putting yourself forward. That’s not so hard. But that’s kind of like starting on third base and telling someone you just need to run 90 feet. You’ve got to get to third base first and for me that was a lot of luck. 

But here’s the kicker: you can’t win the lottery unless you buy a ticket. So for you, right now, waiting on that opportunity, your job is to keep yourself alive and reasonably looked-after, gather all the energy you have, and start figuring out a game plan. Whether that’s a shitty job that you agree with yourself you’ll only do for a year, or asking your parents for a huge financial leap of faith if they’re able -- three grand was a LOT for my parents but they knew it was probably going to save my life -- or applying to better jobs that could push you up the ladder. And of course we’re in a pandemic so like, fuck the world, all of this is just that much harder. But people are being hired, and people are moving into apartments, and going to therapy, and doing their best. So there’s hope, as long as you start homebrewing it first. 

The thing that has helped me the most in the last twenty years, and which I think may be most helpful and simultaneously most frustrating to you, is that I never just said “I don’t like where I am or what I’m feeling”. I started there, absolutely, but then I asked, “What can I change to stop feeling this way?”

You have to rule out “nothing” as an answer. You probably will have to sit with the question for a while, maybe even a few weeks. You may need to google some weird shit to figure it out. And maybe what you do is a stupid stop-gap like buying yourself a $1 blind box toy once a week so you can feel surprise at something again. Maybe you admit that right now you need to pass the baton and you unfollow or blacklist political activism and activists and just fill your social media with people making dumb dad jokes and posting cat pictures. Maybe that gives your brain breathing room to find more permanent solutions.

But once you get in the habit of “how can I change this”, solutions do start to appear. 

So, yeah. Truth is I worked super hard but I also got super lucky. But part of being lucky was being there when the luck finally hit. So I’m wishing you, wholeheartedly, the best of luck. 

(Also if your parents have money and aren’t assholes I can’t recommend “Make them give you a long-term loan to get on your feet” strongly enough.)

[inevitably-johnlocked]

fics where sherlock gets in an accident?

Hi Nonny!!!

I don’t have a tonne that I recall, but here’s what I do!! Also check out my whump lists too! And as always, please add your own fics, Lovelies, especially fics where the accident is the plot point!

SHERLOCK IN AN ACCIDENT

See Also:

Doctor / Caretaker John

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 2

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 3

Doctor / Caretaker John Pt. 4

Sherlock is Sick/Hurt (Sherlock Whump)

Sherlock Whump Pt. 2

Take My Hand, Knot Your Fingers Through Mine by patster223 (K+, 2,003 w., 1 Ch. || H/C & Friendship, Whump) - "I know this is an inconvenience for you, but I would really rather you were awake right now, John." John is unconscious, and Sherlock decides to talk to him anyway. Sherlock/John pre-slash.

The Doctor's Capable Hands by Totally-Out-Of-It (K+, 2,012 w., 1 Ch. || Sherlock Whump, Doctor John, Hurt/Comfort, Hospitals, Anxious Sherlock) – Sherlock is injured during a chase. John sits watchful at his bedside in the hospital and wonders. He wouldn't leave Sherlock alone like this. Especially not if Sherlock wanted him to stay.

Trapped and Upside Down on the M6 by BootsnBlossoms (E, 4,256 w., 1 Ch. || Whump, Car Accident, H/C) – Everything felt wrong. His hair was going the wrong way. His arms were bent in ways he wouldn’t choose to bend them. His neck hurt and he couldn’t really feel his toes. Something was dripping on his face – and rolling up. A car crash. He had been in a car crash.

I'm Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, 7,672 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff, Cudding, Doctor/Patient, Accidents, Pining Sherlock, Blow Jobs, Oral / Anal, BAMF John, Minor Injuries, Dev. Rel.) – Sherlock finds increasingly ridiculous ways to get John to patch him up after hurting himself.

In The End by whitchry9 (K+, 9,677 w., 17 Ch. || Memento Fusion || Amnesia, Growing Old, Hurt / Comfort, Friendship, Heavy Angst) – When a brain injury leaves Sherlock unable to make new memories, John wonders how Sherlock will cope, and what it will mean for The Work and their life. Because after all, how can you live if you can't feel time passing?

Catastrophe Medicine by LaSuen (T, 11,550 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt / Comfort, Suspense, Adventure, Whump, Hard Core Bromance) – Chasing after a pyromaniac bomber Sherlock and John wind up in a deserted building which explodes and leaves them trapped under the rubble, both severely injured.

The Hand You're Dealt by Lady Sam Mallory (T, 12,092 w., 1 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Light Violence, BAMF John, Doctor John, Injury, Friendship) – Sherlock, John and several others are trapped in a building when an explosion disrupts the crime scene they are working.

First Response by Arwen Jade Kenobi (T, 13,516 w., 8 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Five and Ones, Whump / Injury) – Five times John had to perform first aid on Sherlock and one time Sherlock had to perform it on John.

The Haze by Ulura (T, 15,381 w., 12 Ch. || Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Whump, Turmoil, Mystery, Worried Sherlock, Mycroft Helps Sherlock, Flashbacks, Blood, Kidnapped John) – Sherlock wakes up, injured and confused on the floor of 221b, the last two days a complete blank. He must struggle not only to recover but to figure out what happened to him and most importantly, find his missing friend John Watson.

The Midas Touch by flawedamythyst (E, 32,231 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Magical Realism, John has a Magical Cock, Dub Con, Healer John) – John Watson has a medical condition that means everyone he sleeps with is instantly healed of all illness and injury. This causes complications when Sherlock breaks his arm, and even more complications when Sherlock falls in love with him. Yes, this is a story where John has a literal magic healing cock. It's a lot less cracky than you're probably imagining. Warning: Contains complex issues of sexual consent, although not between Sherlock and John.

A Hundred Crimson Sols by elldotsee (E, 55,536 w., 16 Ch. || Astronauts AU || Mars Exploration / Space Travel, Slow Burn, Shy Sherlock, Scientist Sherlock / Biomed Engineer John, Alternating POV, Mutual Pining, UST, Angst with Happy Ending, Domestic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Injuries, Suicidal Ideation, Zero-G Sex) – Will Holmes is a chemical researcher recognized widely for his contributions to the new Mars exploration program. Thanks to his ground-breaking developments, the IMMC (International Mars Mission Corporation) is one step closer to Martian colonization. Will and his team of scientists are headed out on the first of three manned missions before the first group of settlers arrive. Three days before launch, one of the crew has to be replaced. Will panics because...new people. The replacement is of course one John Watson, biomedical engineer and space hottie who was pretty sure he had retired from actual space exploration and was now content to work in the nice, quiet research lab. Can the crew survive this TOTALLY ROUTINE trip? Will they be able to endure each other for the looooooong trip in close quarters? Gonna be a wild ride... prepare for blast off. Part 1 of SpaceBois go to Space

Lunar Landscapes by J_Baillier (M, 57,046 w., 21 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || S3/TAB Fix-It, Slow Burn Angst, Drama, Hurt/Comfort, Confessions, Drugs, Pain, Medical, Injury, Sherlock Whump, Mental Health Issues, Panic Attacks, Romance, Secrets, Tragedy, Trauma, BAMF John, Doctor!John, Drug Addict Sherlock, Injured Sherlock, Grieving John, Idiots In Love, Protective John, POV John Watson, PTSD Sherlock, Sherlock is a Mess, Medical Realism) – An accident forces John to face the fact that Sherlock's downward spiral had started long before his flight to exile even left the tarmac.

Summit Fever by J_Baillier (M, 78,802 w., 18 Ch. || Mountain Climber AU || POV John, Angst, Tragedy, Suicidal Ideation, The Himalayas, Mountain Guide / Doctor John, Mount Climber Sherlock, Loneliness, Drama, Suspense, Slow Burn, Injured Sherlock / Sherlock Whump, Pining John) – After graduating from medical school, John Watson followed his heart to the Himalayas. Ten years later, he's a haunted cynic working for his ex-lover's trekking and mountaineering company. Will leading an expedition to Annapurna I—the most lethal of all the world's highest mountains—shake John out of his reverie, and who is the mystery client added to the group at the last minute?

Proving A Point by elldotsee & J_Baillier (E, 186,270 w., 28 Ch. || Me Before You Fusion || Medical Realism, Insecure John, Depression, Romance, Angst, POV John, Sherlock Whump, Serious Illness, Doctor John, Injury Recovery, Assisted Suicide, Sherlock’s Violin, Awkward Sexual Situations, Alcoholism, Drugs, Idiots in Love, Slow Burn, Body Image, Friends to Lovers, Hurt / Comfort, Pain, Big Brother Mycroft, Intimacy, Anxiety, PTSD, Family Issues, Psychological Trauma, John Whump, Case Fics, Loneliness, Pain) – Invalided home from Afghanistan, running out of funds and convinced that his surgical career is over, John Watson accepts a mysterious job offer to provide care and companionship for a disabled person. Little does he know how much hangs in the balance of his performance as he settles into his new life at Musgrave Court.

[nullvoid868]

Dusty wings and sleep deprivation (G/t fluff)

This is something I wrote to try to get a feel for some new OC’s, and original content in general. its just a fluffy G/t story, with a moth based species of borrower. enjoy!

   Chion’s wings twitched uselessly, unable to lift his tiny body away from the burning electric flame, the metal underneath him searing with heat. His whole body felt like it was burning into dust. The bulb began to flicker, sending out a resounding noise as it did. The entire lamp seemed to ring over and over again rhythmically. 

DING-DING-DING-DING-DING

     He was thrust from his nightmare by the call of the pocket watch hung on his wall. Chion thrust his sheets out of his cocoon and awkwardly flopped out, slamming his palm onto the switch to silence the alarm. Rubbing his eyes and grabbing his borrowing poncho, Chion cringed a little as he recalled that tonight he needed to collect supplies.

    The LED’s in the ceiling, which Chion had hooked up to an inverted light sensor outside, had activated, draping a calm blue light over the intricate quilts and blankets that decorated his home. He took down his borrowing bag from the hook attached to the kitchen wall and fastened it to the huge button on the back of his poncho. After quickly scarfing down a cup of water he climbed down the ladder leading to the rest of the house, and once he reached the bottom, he summoned his wings and took flight.

    Chion glided through the air in the humans living room, occasionally landing on a wall to rest. The eye patterns on his wings darted their pupils from side to side, just as he did his, checking to make sure there were no signs of the human. The moonlight glinted off his unkempt snow white hair as he winged his way into the kitchen. Chion landed on the edge of the pantry, a massive cereal box looming above him. The only obstacle between him and his quarry was one piece of flimsy cardboard. From his pocket he produced a small multool, whipped out the knife, and began cutting through the side of the box. After a few minutes of sawing a square shaped hole in the cardboard, he had finally reached his goal - 2 or 3 pieces of cereal were enough plant fiber to feed him for a week. Chion grabbed onto a piece and slowly pulled it out from the tightly packed box, satisfied with his mission.

    It was then that chion realized his mistake.

    Cereal began to pour out from the hole Chion had made in the box, the wave of oats and grains pushing him off the side of the pantry. He managed to open his wings at the last moment, saving himself from a nasty fall, but strained them in the process. He awkwardly flopped onto the growing heap of cereal, more and more falling on top of him with each passing second, clinking lightly on the kitchen's tile floor. By the time Chion summoned the energy to move he was buried under a pile of cheerios™, Kellogs cornflakes™, and other standard breakfast fare. The weight held him in place, unable to move.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      A strange noise coming from the kitchen broke Risa’s daze after hours of staring into the glow of his PC. It took half a minute for him to register it, and another to notice that it was now pitch dark outside his bedroom window. He was up way too late for his own good, but despite his tired state he knew he wouldn't be able to get any sleep until he found out what the noise was. Rubbing his eyes, he awkwardly stumbled out of his bedroom and towards the kitchen. Flicking on the light, he could plainly see the source of the issue. Cereal poured out onto the floor from a hole in the box, forming a pile on the tile floor. Risa picked up the box and set it on it’s side on the counter to stop the flow of cereal, and sighed as he grabbed a broom and dustpan and got to work. After a few sweeps of the broom he could see something fluffy and white poking out of the pile. Getting down on his knees, Risa scooped it into his hands to get a better look and was flabbergasted at what he saw. A small, humanoid creature with moth’s wings laid in his palm, wearing a tiny brown poncho. Its neck had a fluffy ‘collar’ around it and two antenne poked out of its head. Its wings, which a moment ago were paper white, were now bright red, and emitting a strange pulsing glow. The miniscule figure was crouched in a fetal position and shaking. Risa stared for a moment before coming to his senses.

‘W...what are you? Can you speak?’

    The tiny being shivered, saying nothing for a moment, and then squeaked out a shaky ‘y...yes’

‘Please let me go, I'll leave, I promise. Please don't kill me.’

‘Wha..what? I'm not mad at you, I'm just confused. I've never seen anything like you before...’

    Risa tried to carefully poke Chion to turn them over so he could see their face, but Chion flinched and jumped a bit, their dusty wings weakly flapping, trying to lift off before flopping back onto Risas palm. Their antenne twitched a bit before they froze once again, this time staring at Risa’s comparatively massive face, their tiny grey eyes overflowing with fear. Risa’s heart sunk with guilt, realizing that their thoughtless action had only scared the tiny being more.

‘Sorry.. I shouldn't have done that.’

‘......’

    Risa’s words were met with only the same fearful eyes staring up into theirs, as if anticipating death at any moment. 

‘I'm not going to harm you, I'm so sorry I scared you. My name is Risa, what is yours?'

‘I…’

‘...Chion’

‘Chion.. That's a pretty name. Well Chion, i'm going to put you down on the counter now, again i'm sorry I frightened you’

    Chion’s wings ceased their pulsing glow, and their blood red became a little more grey. The small being shivered a bit less, yet they still peered into Risa’s eyes fearfully. Risa carefully moved her hand over to the counter, and tilted it just a bit so chion would gently slide off of it. The miniscule being fumbled a bit as they sat down on the counter, now looking at Risa with more confusion than fear.

‘You.. you're going to let me go?’

‘I'm not going to capture you or force you to stay here, if that's what you mean’

‘I..Im going to go then’

    Risa felt a bit disappointed to see Chion leave so soon, she really wanted to get to know them better. But forcing them to stay and chat would certainly not make them trust her more. She watched as they fluttered off the counter and into the air, heading towards the door to the living room. 

    But as soon as Chion was a few inches from the kitchen counter a sharp pain shot through their body, making them lose the balance needed to fly. They had been so focused on their fear of the human that they had forgotten about spraining their wings. Chion began to plummet towards the floor below, closing their eyes tight in anticipation of the impact. They had survived being found and now they were going to die from a simple fall.

    But Chion did not collide with the cold, hard tile. Instead Risa’s hands shot out to catch them, and they plopped face-first onto the warm, fleshy surface. Chion simply laid there for a minute, face pressed into Risa’s hand, tears spilling softly from their eyes.

‘Oh my god are you ok? That was close!’

‘Y..yeah’

‘...’

’Thank you. For catching me’

‘You're very welcome. I guess you should probably avoid flying for a little bit.’

‘Yeah... trying to fly again is dangerous. But I need to fly to get back home!’

‘I might be able to carry you there!’

‘Ehh…’

    As much as Chion wanted to get back to their nest and lay down in their cocoon, every instinct they had shouted at them to not let the human know the location of their home. They winced a bit and shook their head.

‘Id.. rather keep the location of my burrow a secret, sorry’

‘Oh.. well i understand. You can stay with me for the night if you want, and hopefully you should be feeling good enough to fly in the morning.’

    Though Chion was still frightened a bit by Risa, it was either stay with her or try to find some hole in the wall they could reach and stay in until their wings healed. 

‘That.. that would be nice, yeah.’

‘Great! Ill get the supplies to try and set up a bed for you.’

‘Uh, before you do, could I get some food and water?’

‘Yes, of course!’

    Risa once again sat Chion down on the countertop while she rifled through a drawer, eventually picking out a 1/8th tablespoon measuring cup. She brought it to the faucet and turned the knob ever so slightly, so only a few drops of water flowed from it. She sat the now full measuring cup down next to chion, and fished through the cereal box for a few pieces of cereal. She sat them down next to Chion as well, who was already happily slurping down the water.

‘Thank you!’

‘You're welcome!’

    Risa watched as Chion happily nibbled on one of the pieces of cereal, occasionally taking another sip of water. After a while they lifted up the measuring cup to get the one last drop of water in the bottom, only for it to slide right into their face as one big drop, its surface tension breaking on impact and soaking Chion’s now rather surprised face. Risa giggled a little bit before tearing off a piece of paper towel from the nearby roll and handing it to Chion to dry off with. Chion timidly took it from Risa’s outstretched fingers and patted their face down with it before standing up.

‘Alright, I'm pretty tired. I guess take me to wherever you want me to sleep for the night’

‘Ok!’

‘Uh.. I think i'll have to carry you, if that's alright’

    Risa held her palm to the edge of the counter, waiting for Chion to climb on. Chion stared at it for a while, not sure what to do. They remembered the stories they were told by the elder moths as a child before being sent out on their own. Cold nights in some abandoned wreck of a house, huddled together with other young moths, an elder reading stories of humans thoughtlessly killing borrowers who got too risky in their borrowings. Now with Risa waiting for them to step forward onto her hand, they had no idea what to think. This human, who was supposed to crush them like a bug, had now saved them twice and helped them purely out of the kindness of her heart. The logical part of their brain told them that those old stories were probably just fabricated, or worst case scenarios. Fear-Mongering meant to ensure that they stay hidden. Humans might not be so violent after all. But another part of their mind still screamed those old stories in Chion’s ear.

    They shut their eyes tight, and stepped forward.

    Risa watched intently as Chion stepped onto her outstretched palm, trying to keep it as still as possible. Chion carefully took another step and planted their second foot onto Risa’s palm before sitting down, still shaking a bit and eyes still clasped shut. Risa carefully moved her hand from the side of the counter to the side of her chest, cupping the tiny figure close to her. Chion took a deep breath and stopped shaking. The small moth opened their eyes, and seeing that they were safe, laid down on the palm and sighed. They were exhausted, physically and emotionally. They could faintly hear Risa’s heartbeat, and Risa’s hand was warm and soft. Chion grabbed onto Risas shirt, cuddling with the warm fabric. By the time Risa reached his bedroom he found Chion fast asleep in his palm.

    Risa used his other hand to pick up a spare blanket and spread it over part of the nearby bed stand, and gently laid Chion on top of it. The tiny moth stirred a bit, but quickly drifted back into sleep. Risa picked up another, lighter blanket and laid it over chion, carefully tucking them in.

‘Sleep well, little one’

[amintyworld]

My Official Dream SMPsona: Flower

(I heard some of you guys wanted to see this, and this was pretty fun to make. Ask box is open, I’d love to talk about her more. I’ll have to work at drawing her later this week, so be on the lookout for that! Anyway, hope you enjoy! - Minty)

------------------------------

Name: Flower

Age: 16

Gender: Female

Sexuality: Straight Demisexual

Joined: September 22, 2020

Current Cannon Lives: 2/3

Alignment: Neutral Good

Fighting: Only skilled with a bow/crossbow, otherwise is absolutely terrible at PVP.

Look: Short brown hair, dark blue eyes, pale skin, black framed glasses, dark blue sweatshirt with black leggings and blue sneakers. Either wearing a light pink flower crown or a random flower in her hair.

-------------------------------

Quotes:

“I am NOT weak! Don’t you ever DARE call me weak!”

“You know what they say, Tubbo: Tomorrow is always another day, and it’ll probably be a better one.”

“I help because… because… because I want to. I need to. So many people are hurting, and I… I just didn’t want to add to that. If so much bad happened, we need a little good to balance, don’t we?”

“My name is Flower and I speak for the trees!”

“These are my cat babies, hurt them and you die.”

“STOP! Just… just stop, stop it please, I...I dunno what to choose, I don’t… I don’t want to choose, don’t MAKE me choose!”

“You deserve a grave, Ghostbur. Everyone deserves to be remembered, no matter what. It’s not about what they did while they were alive, they were people. They deserve to be remembered as a person. A person who tried.”

“You know Philza Minecraft, you’re pretty cool.”

-----------------------------------

Fun Facts / Headcanons:

Extremely Indecisive, especially when it comes to joining a group because she doesn’t want to hurt any of her friends. She always wants to make the right decision, but as the choices turn more grey she can get stressed and put pressure on herself, always worried about doing something wrong that sometimes she’ll go into a full panic attack. This can lead to frustration when she seems to just be helping all of them instead of just choosing one.

Always ready to help and lend materials to others whenever they need.

Has a cat named Rose and another named Lavender, is self-proclaimed ‘Cat-Mom’.

Loves giving gifts to anyone at any time for whatever reason - she loves making others happy, as well as giving others something to remember her by when she’s gone.

Made the land around her house a nature preserve and went to court over the matter when someone chopped down her birch tree.

Has a book full of inspirational quotes that she sometimes uses in conversation.

Is often called “weak” for her PvP skills by Schlatt, Dream, and a few times even Techno, which got under her skin all too quickly, leading her to desperately try to constantly prove them wrong, getting angry and upset when it doesn’t work. This leads to many of them picking on her and pushing her around since she can’t exactly fight back.

Always sees the good in everyone, even some of the darkest villains, which many say is naive. She sees people like Wilbur, Schlatt, Dream - as people hurting and in need of help. Of course, she doesn’t try to excuse what they’ve done, but she doesn’t like when people call them evil or monsters, because to her they’re not. Everyone has good inside of them, they’ve just lost that part of themselves, even ignoring it.

She lives by the golden rule and didn’t like when people celebrated Schlatt’s death or Tommy’s and made no gravestone for Wilbur. Treat people the way you want to be treated - do you want people to celebrate your death, or to never memorialize you or even give you a proper burial?

When her friends and allies turn against her, she’s never mad at them. Just disappointed in what they let themselves become, and holds no ill-will toward any of them.

After the Manburg v Pogtopia War, seeing all the heartbreak, destruction, and hurt that was caused she committed herself to spread a bit of happiness around, to bring it all back to balance and help people recover - planting flowers around New L’manburg, helping Phil settle in as well as helping to rebuild.

She grows closer with Phil and Tubbo during this time - Phil appreciated her kind spirit and help, which he said he’d repay tenfold, and Tubbo liked her support and help to rebuild, especially when he was forced to exile Tommy, she reminded her Dream put them in a tough spot, that there wasn’t much of a choice.

She turned her protected lands into a healing garden and invited any who needed it to visit - she added a bench swing and a small pond.

She once followed Phil to find Techno, and the two panicked, Technoblade almost killing her before Phil stepped in, vouching for her. She promised not to say anything if it would put them more at ease. When questioned by Technoblade on her intentions, her answer was pretty simple: “Look, I don’t really understand why you did what you did. You hurt a lot of people and caused a lot of pain. But I don’t feel like it’s my place to judge you, I don’t know the story and I don’t think it’s my story to know. I’m glad you’re okay, Technoblade.”

When she goes against the Butcher Army, Quackity pushes her around, asking what she thinks she’s going to do against four people with netherite armor and axes. She tries to fight but as always she gets beat up pretty badly. Finally, she just turns to look at Tubbo. “Look at what you’re doing, Tubbo. Please, this isn’t the way.” When they go toward Phil, she steps in front to protect him as the tensions rise and she loses a cannon life by Quackity after he gets so mad at her protests he snaps and gets rid of her.

After he escapes she goes to meet Technoblade in secret, asking for training. She realized that if she was going to do any good, she needed to get stronger. They make a deal for him to train her, but in return, she’ll have to be his eyes in New L’manburg in order to help out Phil. She agrees.

She continues to train as the days pass and eventually she helps Phil escape and get back to the safety of Techno’s house. The training continues when Techno has the time.

When both her teacher and her close friend side with Dream to destroy her home, she tells them that she won’t stop them or betray them, but she needed to protect her home, that her friends needed her. When Technoblade insisted that this was a betrayal, she reminded him that it wasn’t, that for the longest time she supported him and helped him even though she didn’t always agree with him, and now she’s asking that he does the same. She gives them some gapples and a couple of potions. “I’ll see you both on the other side. I’m sorry. Just… be careful, and do what you have to do.”

She moves her stuff just in case, knowing her friends, and cries with the others over the destruction of her home. When Phil finds her after, wanting to talk after his interaction with Ghostbur, she tells him that it isn’t the best time right now, trying to force a smile. “Hey, look - I’m happy for you, Phil. I’m happy that you succeeded, I just need a bit more than a minute, okay? We’ll talk tomorrow.”

She gives both Tubbo and Tommy on the Final Confrontation Day each a cookie and wishes them the best of luck, and was there, willing to risk another life to protect Tommy and Tubbo and stop Dream from causing more hurt and destruction than he already has.

[mdelpin]

Male Order Bride - Chapter 2

AO3 | Prev: Ch 1 | Ch 2 | Next: Ch 3

Chapter 2

Gray examined the crowd of people, attempting to figure out what they were doing there. There were a lot of young couples in attendance, which seemed strange for an old building away from the town center. Several recognized him and offered a friendly wave.

It appeared Lyon hadn’t caught the guy yet, as he observed some of his father’s hirdmen walking around the room and studying the faces of those assembled. Gray was further impressed by the fire mage, although considering his outlandish appearance, it probably wouldn’t be long before they found him. He kept an eye out, hoping to catch sight of him again.

Gray continued to explore the large room, careful to avoid any attempts at conversation. He noticed a platform at the back decorated in silver and blue, the colors of Isvan, while a colorful sign welcomed everyone to the Isvan Employment Auction.

Employment Auction? He’d never heard of that before.

“What are you doing here? I thought I heard Erza say you went home.”

Gray recognized Lyon’s voice behind him and turned to smirk at his friend. “Never thought I’d see the day someone else would put you in your place.”

“It’s just a matter of time. He’s in here somewhere.”

Lyon didn’t seem concerned in the slightest, instead looking around the room with an odd smile. “This place takes me back.”

“Huh? Back to what?”

“Don’t you remember? This is where your Dad found Ur and hired her to take care of your sorry ass.”

“Here?”

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot we met later.” Lyon pointed to the platform, “Right up there. The organizers had demanded I wait in some back room, but Ur wouldn’t have it. Your dad came to see what the commotion was. That’s how they met.”

“What is this place?”

“Well, most of the time it serves as a storage building for merchant cargo, with the occasional dock worker meeting thrown in. But twice a year it hosts this employment thing for women. They can get hired as governesses, teachers, housekeepers, nannies, you name it. Ur had heard about it when we were in Brago. It’s what brought us here, actually. She’d wanted us to start a new life. You know, after everything.”

Back then, Gray hadn’t cared about where Ur and Lyon had come from, but he struggled to accept that Ur’s introduction into his life had stemmed from anywhere so ordinary.

He’d resented her at first, convinced she was trying to replace his mother. But once her magic lessons began, he’d cast all those feelings aside. Ur was strong. Stronger than any other ice mage he’d ever met. He’d figured if he worked hard and learned everything he could from her, he’d soon be able to avenge his mother and grandfather, and the countless others who had died at the hands of that foul demon. Lyon had been the perfect training partner, equally determined to push through all their limits.

Why had he never thought to ask him why? He’d always known Ur wasn’t Lyon’s mother, but it startled him to realize that even after all these years, he had no clue how they’d ended up together. Lyon was the closest thing he’d ever had to a brother, and it disheartened him to realize how little he truly knew about him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but never got the chance as a man he recognized as Invel Yura, one of his father’s advisors, stepped onto the platform and commanded everyone’s attention.

“Ladies and Gentlemen, I am pleased to welcome you to this year’s Winter Employment Auction.”

The participants crowded around the platform eagerly, applauding the announcement.

“As many of you might know, our late Chief, Sterling Fullbuster, founded the Employment Auction over twenty-five years ago.” Invel peered at the audience, smiling when he recognized Gray.

“An ardent supporter of women’s rights, Chief Sterling sought to create a safe environment for women to find employment in our great town. Over the years, we have helped place hundreds of women, and as word of our experiment has reached other towns, we have seen increased participation. We are proud to continue this tradition, and we hope that our future Chief, who is with us today, will see fit to continue it for many years to come.”

Gray groaned internally, even as he smiled and waved at those who acknowledged him, realizing he now had no choice but to stay until the conclusion of the event. He attempted but failed to ignore Lyon’s laughter at his predicament. With a parting clap on the shoulder, Lyon informed him he was returning to his search, promising to check in with him later.

He listened as Invel followed his introduction with an explanation of how the auction worked. It seemed to be divided into three phases. In the first phase, employers received a clipboard with several bid forms and were allotted two hours to interview candidates. Each candidate wore a pin on her right shoulder that showed her identification number.

Once time was up, the second phase began. Employers submitted their bids at the platform, placing them into envelopes marked with the candidate’s identification number. Each bid needed to describe the job duties and pay offered clearly.

During the third phase, all candidates would receive their envelopes. They would then evaluate the enclosed offers and pick out the job situation that most appealed to them. Should any issues arise, Invel would mediate them. Seemed simple enough.

With the explanation now at an end, Invel announced the candidates’ entrance and ceded the platform.

Gray was curious to see how many women were taking part, considering the number of people present, but Invel’s approach blocked his view.

Invel bowed his head briefly, and then immediately launched into a scolding. “This is most unusual, Master Gray. All prospective employers must pass a thorough investigation before being allowed to take part. It is one of the safety measures we’ve set in place. Given your position, however, I will allow it this one time. In the future, see that you submit a request in advance.”

Invel thought he was here to hire someone? For what, court jester? Lyon already filled that role nicely. Still, it was easier to play along than attempt to explain how he’d gotten there.

“I apologize, I wasn’t thinking. Thank you for your understanding.”

He accepted the clipboard Invel offered him with a polite smile.

“Of course,” Invel said, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I see someone trying to get my attention. Good luck.”

Gray killed time by walking around the room and trying to blend in, half-listening to conversations around him while keeping an eye out for his mystery man. He still found it hard to believe Ur had been a part of one of these. None of the participants seemed remotely like her. His eyes nearly popped out of their sockets when he recognized one candidate.

Shit! What in Hel’s name was Lucy Heartfilia doing here? She’d been the last girl he’d sent home before Juvia. Was she here because of that? Should he go talk to her?

Just as he was deciding it would be best for him to avoid her, another girl joined her. One that immediately drew his interest. Her steps were awkward, and she seemed ill at ease in the formal clothes. Her walk reminded him of a young Erza proudly showing off her first pair of heels, even though she could barely walk in them.

Her pink hair came down to her shoulders in loose waves, while the blue gown she wore contrasted nicely against her tanned skin. At first glance, Gray merely thought her a beautiful girl, until he got a good glimpse at her face.

His eyes widened as he recognized the features. He forgot all about avoiding Lucy, compelled by the need to know if he was right.

“Hi Lucy.”

“Gray.”

Her tone was not welcoming in the slightest, but he ignored it, smiling at her as if they were old friends. His gaze soon shifted to her companion, hoping to force her to speak. If he was right about who she was, she’d try to avoid it.

“Hello, I’m Gray Fullbuster, a pleasure to make your acquaintance.” Gray offered his hand in greeting. The girl had been about to shake it when Lucy noticed.

“Natsu!”

The girl’s hand stopped in midair, and she peered at Lucy in confusion. Gray smirked, that was one point for him.

“Natsu, that’s a lovely name, and something we could certainly use a lot more of in Isvan.”

She tilted her head, frowning cutely at him.

“It means summer, doesn’t it?”

“Oh yes, it does,” Natsu replied in a silken voice, which was not at all what Gray had been expecting. Could he be wrong? Was she just a small-town girl who’d come to Isvan in search of a job and was understandably nervous?

“What sorts of jobs are you interested in?”

“We’re looking to be nannies, or governesses. Something I know you’re not in any need of, so if you’ll just excuse us,” Lucy grabbed Natsu’s hand and yanked her away towards a young couple.

Natsu tried to keep up, but ended up losing her balance. Gray was quick to catch her, and as he did, he felt her magic flare, materializing into a thin layer of flames that traveled across her arms.

“Let go of me!”

She struggled in his arms; the flames spreading as she did so, skirting ever closer to the fabric of her dress. Gray’s eyes darted up to follow their path, noting absently that her pin had the number seven emblazoned on it. “I don’t want to hur-.”

“Steady there,” Gray interrupted, smiling down at her as he called on his magic, coating her arms in an icy mist that quickly put out the flames before they could blaze out of control.

Natsu’s jaw dropped as Gray dispelled his flames, “How did you do that?”

Gray wasn’t able to respond right away, for after the initial satisfaction at having succeeded, he’d peered into Natsu’s eyes and now found himself utterly lost in them. He’d never seen any more beautiful. Bursts of green converged on a gold-rimmed pupil, reminding him of the early morning nature walks he’d once taken with his mother in the summers. And when those eyes met his, Gray couldn’t help but recognize the fear and desperation that lurked in their depths.

Pink hair, tanned skin, fire magic, fear - not to mention the awkward way she carried herself. Everything pointed to this being the guy Lyon was after but made up to look and sound like a strikingly beautiful woman. Hell, he’d done such a good job it would even convince Silver.

Natsu must have gotten help from someone here. No, not someone. Gray knew exactly who.

Lucy Heartfilia.

What was her magic? He wracked his brain but couldn’t remember, and that more than anything forced him to acknowledge he'd barely paid any attention to her during their meeting, or to any of the others. But none of that mattered right now because he had a choice to make.

“I just used my magic to push yours back,” Gray finally replied, struggling to keep his voice level so as not to give away that he knew Natsu’s identity.

Natsu gazed at him, his mouth suddenly breaking into a lopsided grin that elicited a strange fluttering in Gray’s chest and complicated his thoughts further.

“Let’s gooo, Natsu,” Lucy urged, and while Natsu had seemed ready to protest, she spun around and followed.

Gray turned to see what had spooked her and spotted Lyon walking swiftly towards them. He could tell from his friend’s expression that he’d already reached the same conclusion.

What should he do, which side should he take?

Gray was the future Chief of Isvan. He knew well that his thoughts should be on the danger this man could pose to his people. But that brief interaction had shown him his instincts had been correct. Natsu didn’t appear to have control over his magic, and Gray had sensed no malice coming from him. In fact, it had been just the opposite. He'd acted terrified when his magic had flared. It just didn’t add up.

Still, Lyon was his best friend, his foster brother, and he didn’t want to get him in trouble either.

Then Gray thought about how his heart had felt at the sight of that grin and how he’d considered Natsu’s appearance could fool even Silver, and a plan formed in his mind.

Confident that Natsu didn’t pose a danger to Isvan, Gray considered pursuing a different choice. One that could both help him and protect Natsu from the hird until he could learn control of his magic.

The more he thought about it, the more convinced Gray became it was the only way to get out of this wedding mess. If he could persuade Natsu to pretend to be his fiancee, he wouldn’t have to marry Juvia and it would give him time to see if something could blossom between them.

He grabbed Lyon by the arm, ignoring his protests as he searched for a place where they could speak privately.

“We need to talk.”

0-0

Gray found a small office near the building’s entrance and shoved Lyon inside. He closed the door behind them and launched into a swift explanation of his plan, but Lyon wouldn’t even let him finish.

“Absolutely not!”

“You’re being unreasonable. Erza said no one was hurt in any of the fires. You must have felt his magic signature. If that were his intent, why only target abandoned buildings?”

“To gauge our response for when he launches his actual attack.”

Gray groaned as he recognized Lyon’s stubborn streak kicking in. He didn’t have time to argue. For his plan to work, he’d need to put a bid in soon.

“What did you expect me to say?” Lyon crossed his arms over his chest. “You don’t know the first thing about this guy, and what little you know points to him being a criminal.”

“He’s terrified. I could see it in his eyes when he lost control a few moments ago. You didn’t see his face when I pushed his fire back. He was relieved.”

“He lost control here?! That’s even more reason to keep him away from our house. He could hurt everyone we care about.”

Lyon had that I know better than you expression on his face that Gray hated with every fiber of his being.

“While surrounded by ice mages?” he snapped, struggling to keep his temper in check despite Lyon’s attitude. He’d known this wouldn’t be easy, but he’d hoped Lyon would be more willing to see his side. Screw it, if logic wouldn’t work then he’d go for pity. It’s not like he wasn’t desperate.

“When I talked with him earlier, I felt something.”

“You just met him, Gray.”

“I know that, but feeling something is already more than the nothing I feel for Juvia. And if I don’t find someone soon, I’ll have no choice but to marry her on my birthday. Fader said so after you left.”

“He said that?”

Lyon looked away, the first outward sign that he was weakening.

“Time’s up, please enter your bids now,” Invel’s voice echoed through the building’s speaker lacrima, injecting an air of urgency to their conversation.

Lyon had shifted his gaze back to him, his eyes boring into him for what seemed like a lifetime. Gray held his breath, worried the slightest gesture from him might work against him.

“I won’t pretend to understand the attraction you feel toward guys, but I can’t imagine how I’d feel if Ur forced me into a marriage.” He remained silent for a few more moments before announcing, “I’m so going to regret this.”

It took Gray a full minute for the meaning to seep into his brain, but once it did, he beamed with excitement. “I knew I could count on you!”

Lyon grinned, “You mean you knew you could con me.”

Gray didn’t have time to refute the charge as Lyon swiftly turned serious, “Just promise me you’ll be careful,”

“I will.”

And he meant it. He understood the trust Lyon was placing in him, and he would do his best to be worthy of it.

“I gotta go put in my bid,” Gray reached for the doorknob, but Lyon grabbed his arm.

“Hold on there, Romeo. You’re going to have to hire someone for real.”

“What? Why?”

“Invel saw you, dumbass. I’m sure he’ll mention it to Silver. If you only show up with your dream girl, Silver will know something’s up.”

“Oh.”

Gray hadn’t considered that, but had to admit it made sense. Who could he hire and for what? The only other person he’d talked to was Lucy, and he was pretty sure she hated his guts.

But if she’d helped Natsu, he should probably monitor her too, just in case he was wrong about all this.

“Oh, and Gray?” Lyon said as Gray opened the door.

Gray turned his head impatiently, waiting to hear what Lyon had to say, even though he was pretty sure he already knew.

“If he refuses your offer, I will arrest him.”

Gray scowled at the words but nodded his understanding. He’d just have to make sure that didn’t happen.

As Lyon issued new orders to his men through his communication lacrima, Gray offered a silent prayer to his favorite deity.

He had a feeling Loki would understand where he was coming from..

0-0

“I can’t wait to see how many bids I got!” Lucy said as they stood with the other candidates, waiting for the organizer to arrive with their envelopes.

“I just want to get out of here.”

The last two hours had been incredibly stressful for Natsu. He’d felt ill at ease with all the stares and attempts at conversation, not to mention the uncomfortable clothes Lucy had forced him to wear. It had taken all of his self-control not to run out of there. When that light blue-haired hirdman had walked towards them, he’d thought he’d get arrested for sure.

The organizer finally got to them, checking the numbers on their pins against the large envelopes he was carrying and handing them each one. They both thanked him.

“I bet you I got a bunch,” Lucy said while opening her envelope, “I was killing it out there!”

Natsu held on to his envelope but didn’t bother opening it, assuming it was empty. Instead, he watched the expressions of the other women with interest. There were a lot of happy tears, and it made him feel good that things had gone well for them.

“One?! I got one stinking offer? Don’t these people know who I am?”

Natsu turned his attention back to Lucy, alarmed by the loudness of her voice. “Hey Lucy, can you keep it down? We’re trying to avoid attention, remember?”

“Right,” Lucy said, her voice coming back down to normal levels. “I’m sorry, it’s just when I stuck around here for this I thought I’d have lots of choices, you know?”

“Well, but one is better than none, right?”

“I suppose.”

“What’s it for, anyway? Is it from that guy that kept staring at your boobs?” Natsu nudged her with his shoulder, trying to get her out of her foul mood.

“Ew, I hope not,” Lucy giggled, “You’re right though, I bet it’s gonna be something great, and at least I won’t have to go back home.”

He should have realized her sudden silence wasn’t a good sign, but he was too busy thinking about how he couldn’t wait to get back into his clothes to notice. His thoughts wandered back to that ice mage, wishing he’d been able to talk to him longer and ask him for help with his problem. He’d seemed like an okay guy.

“That sonofabitch! Does he think he’s funny? Is that it? Is he trying to ruin my life?”

Lucy continued to rant, getting progressively louder. All the other candidates had moved away from them and the man who had handed them their envelopes was making his way towards them, his features set in a scowl. Natsu wanted nothing more than to leave his friend there and make a run for it, ridiculous shoes and all. He could feel his magic surging and his panic mounted.

“Shh, Lucy, please!”

Natsu closed his eyes, resigned to his imminent arrest, this time for disturbing the peace.

“Invel, you may return to your duties, I’ll handle this.”

“Of course, Master Gray, I’ll leave it in your capable hands.”

“You!”

The venom in Lucy’s voice surprised Natsu but not as much as recognizing the other voice. It belonged to the guy who had caught him earlier, who, now that he thought about it, had acted as if he knew Lucy. His pulse sped up as he realized there was still a chance to ask him for help.

“So, you finally found someone who wasn’t quite so... what was it you said? Oh yes, perky,” Lucy seethed, “and now you want me to be your nanny? Do you even know what your little stunt cost me?”

“Look, I’m sorry about the whole turning you down thing,” Gray said, “It was nothing personal, okay? I’m sure you’re perfect.”

“Damn right I am!”

Natsu looked from one to the other, completely lost to what was going on.

“Could you keep your voice down?” Gray hissed, “I just want a minute to plead my case before you decide.”

“She only got the one offer,” Natsu revealed without thinking.

“Seriously?” Gray laughed, “Must be her charming personality.”

Natsu wanted to laugh at the retort, but he knew better than to provoke Lucy when she was seriously pissed. “Dude, you are so not helping your case.”

He frowned, hating how strange his voice sounded.

“Oh, right.” Gray ran his fingers through his hair, and flashed a sheepish grin that, while oddly distracting to Natsu, did nothing to placate Lucy.

“Well, you can take your job offer and shove it where the sun doesn't shine.”

Gray’s shoulders slumped at her words, “I already said I was sorry, didn’t I? Besides, I only wrote nanny cause it was something you were considering. You can do whatever you want. If you’d bothered to look at the actual offer, you’d see the pay is more than fair.”

Lucy examined the paper, her eyes widening as she read the offer over, finally looking up at Gray with a guarded expression. “I don’t understand.”

“I’ll be happy to explain, but not here. I’ll need both of you for what I have in mind. Well, to be honest, it’s up to Natsu. If she doesn’t agree, then the offer is off,” Gray said, turning to Natsu.

“You want my help?”

“Yeah, didn’t you see my offer?”

“There’s something in here?” Natsu opened his envelope, saw there were several pieces of paper inside, and snapped it shut quickly.

“Well? Let’s see it,” Lucy gave him a curious glance, “What did he put down on yours?”

“Um, it doesn’t matter. He can just tell me.”

“Honestly, I’d rather you read it, it’s kind of embarrassing.”

“It, uh, doesn’t matter what it is,” Natsu said, hiding the envelope behind his back, “I’m happy to do it as long you promise to help me with my magic.”

“Yeah, sure, I can do that.”

Gray looked relieved and Natsu wondered what he’d just gotten himself into, but it didn’t really matter. Lucy had saved him from the hirdmen, and it seemed as if she wouldn’t have a job if he didn’t accept. Plus, he wasn’t afraid of hard work, and getting help in controlling his increasingly erratic magic would make it worth his while.

“Alright, then you have yourself a deal,” Natsu offered his hand to seal the deal, not knowing how to respond when Gray pulled it up to his mouth for a kiss instead of shaking it.

It was then he understood two things. First, why Lucy had yelled at him earlier. It hadn’t occurred to him that girls rarely shook hands. Second, and by far the most important, Gray thought he was a girl.

He was about to clear that up when a more pressing issue presented itself. The hirdman who’d been chasing him earlier walked up to them, and although Natsu desperately wanted to run away, he knew he couldn’t do that without giving himself away. He only hoped that the guy would leave quickly and not look at him too closely.

“Everything okay over here, Gray?”

“Everything’s fine!” Gray smiled, “I’d like you to meet Natsu. And you remember Lucy?”

“Yes, of course, lovely to see you again, Lucy,” The hirdman bowed slightly to both of them, gazing at Natsu with open curiosity.

“Natsu love, I’d like you to meet Lyon, my foster brother.”

That guy was Gray’s foster brother?!

That complicated everything! How could he tell Gray the truth about who he was now?

He couldn’t and he didn’t like what that implied. The more agitated he became, the more his magic roared, itching to get out. Natsu had almost given up on containing it when Gray placed his hand on the small of his back, reining in the fire that churned inside him with one simple gesture.

Natsu didn't understand the how or why of it, but it made him realize that the safest place for him right now was by Gray’s side, at least until he could regain control of his magic. So he met Lyon’s gaze and flashed him his most disarming smile.

“It’s so nice to meet you.”

[m-y-fandoms]

Danganronpa 1 Girls: adopting an abused child - Headcanons

Request: If it's okay, the DR1 girls with an adopted child that was previously in an intensely abusive living situation? The kid is extremely traumatized by the experience, and is very quiet, fearful and suffers frequent breakdowns and nightmares.

Part 2: Oh! Adopted abused child for DR1 girls anon here... To specify, headcanons.

Of course! A unique request. I’m gonna write this assuming they’ve had the child in their home for a while, maybe a few years, and you can headcanons the girls’ partners versus if they are single moms on your own. This will just be how the DR1 girls treat their adopted, previously abused child. - Mod Kokichi

WARNINGS: past child abuse implied/referenced. Trauma/panic attacks and anxiety

Aoi Asahina:

The queen of three things: sweets, sports, and positive attitudes.

She would definitely use these three skills/interests of hers to help the previously abused child she adopted.

First of all, she’d chosen this child in particular because she saw their profile and asked about them. Her big heart wouldn’t allow her to abandon a child that’s clearly been through a lot of suffering, especially not after her own experience in the killing game.

Despite whether or not she had a partner, she’d want kids when she was able to responsibly care for them. Also, her experience as a big sister would prepare her for kids a little better than an only child.

Sweets: having a panic attack? Here’s some home-made cookies. Bad day at school? Let’s strap on an apron and bake together tonight. Stayed up late with insomnia or nightmares? Well good news, doughnuts for breakfast the next morning!

Sports: being athletic and active herself, Hina would encourage her child to enter team sports to get better at socializing and just learn important motor skills, but she wouldn’t force them into it, knowing crowds or loud noises may overstimulate them.

Maybe she’d have them start small. Table tennis or private swimming lessons. When and if they were ever ready, soccer or lacrosse on the school’s team.

That’s not to say she wouldn’t love and appreciate a more artistically or mathematically inclined child. Sports or not, she’d find a way to use their inherent skills to better them. She’s not one to give up on the people she cares about.

Positive attitudes: slip-ups and panic attacks are nothing to get discouraged about! She would stay up all night with a child going through anxiety, assure them that this too shall pass, and use positive reinforcement.

Sakura Ogami:

Another mom who would seek out sports as a way to ease her child’s suffering.

But unlike Asahina, she’d see sports as more of a way to teach perseverance and self-discipline rather than social skills.

She would want them to learn some type of martial art. It would teach balance, strength, inner-peace, and erase self-doubt.

Plus, learning martial arts would help teach self-defense. She would never want her child to go out until the word helpless and not knowing how to defend themselves should they absolutely have to.

She would enjoy reading to her child at night, and talking at length with them about what was bothering them. She would let them cry onto her strong shoulders, and offer stoic wisdom. She’s like, super good at giving advice.

Loves them unconditionally, is fiercely protective and loyal. A very supportive and loving mother.

Shells out the cash for any and all therapy they need, physical and psychological. She doesn’t see mental illness as a weakness.

Celestia Ludenberg:

This mom, instead of teaching a child to ignore trauma and bullies - be they internalized and metaphorical or external and corporeal - would teach her child how to face their obstacles head on.

Bullies at school? Well we’ll handle that. “They won’t be a problem anymore, trust me.”

PTSD and past trauma? Well we will sit here and talk about these weaknesses until they become our strengths. “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and you’ll be undefeatable after all you’ve been through.”

This child will be spoiled, but not in a bratty way. They will simply wear the best clothes, eat the most expensive food, and attend the best schools.

Celestia would play endless card and board games with her child to keep their mind off of darker thoughts.

“Moooom, you cheated again!”

“Oh? Did I~?”

“Yes!” A disgruntled but reluctantly amused smile.

“Well~ I think it is simply that you don’t know how to play this game yet. But one day, you will.”

Kyoko Kirigiri:

At first, it may take her a while to open up and truly be the best mother she can be.

But she understands wanting more from a parent-child relationship, and after a while of doubting herself, would buckle down and do what she needs to do.

Wouldn’t be as pushy with talking about triggering subjects, or entirely comfortable giving advice either.

But is a terrific listener/observer. She walks in after work and sees her kid crying alone in their room. They’d remembered something scary, something they didn’t want to think about, they said.

“I see...well, do you want to talk about it?” And she’d sit there by their bedside until she was sure they didn’t need her any longer.

If single: definitely has a big house, a reputable maid, a nanny, a nice car in the driveway, but still insists on personally packing her kids lunch with a little encouraging sticky note inside.

If she has a partner: can be convinced to be more involved and slowly but surely becomes more hands-on and soccer-momish, minivan and all. Sees her partner’s own parenting skills as a challenge to step it up. Kyoko has all the makings of a great mother, she just won’t let herself see it. A partner would be just the push she needs: a Watson to her Holmes.

Toko Fukawa (I watched the anime and played the three main games so if her personality changes drastically in ultra despair girls and I’m way off I apologize):

Toko knows childhood regret, trauma, nightmares. She understands feeling isolated and different. She would be a very clingy and coddling mother.

If you ever touched a hair on her child’s head, you better just execute yourself before she does.

Sure she’s not the most confident or kind person on her own, but we’ve seen how devoted to and possessive she is of people she cares about.

She’d read to her child nightly, but only what she deemed to be the best children’s literature, of course.

Would love her child more than she loved her own partner. She would feel needed, like someone depended on her for once instead of her tagging along behind someone else.

I think as she boosts her child’s confidence and social skills, her own would grow along with them.

I know she’s getting better every day at controlling her inner demons, and her other half, Syo (I watched like two hours of UDG gameplay so I know this much) but I think she’d be extra careful and determined to have full control once becoming a mother.

Sayaka Maizono:

I think she would see music as an outlet for a hurting child.

Another girl who would have hella money, so she wouldn’t hesitate to get her kid lessons from the best instructors, be they voice or instrumental lessons.

And when her child mentions feeling uncomfortable about leaving the house for unnecessary reasons, especially for going to a public, noisey studio, she would pay extra to have the instructor come to them.

To her, music heals the soul.

When they have nightmares, she’s the most likely of the girls to sing lullabies, being the most talented and confident in her singing voice.

She would definitely want to be a mother one day, but with her time-consuming job, might find adoption easier and less compromising to an idol’s “flawless” body (her manager’s opinion more than her own ugh).

She’d use her intuitive “psychic” abilities to sense when her child was having a particularly rough day, or having more depressing thoughts. I think she’d be one of the ones more suited to deep conversations and true motherly advice.

Junko Enoshima:

I honestly don’t think she’d adopt a child for any wholesome or selfless reason.

She’d adopt a child with PTSD or past trauma in order to feed off of their despair or to teach that already hurting child to hurt others.

She’d be drawn to the more chaotic and/or mentally unwell children, but it would be a mistake to let her near them.

Junko is selfish in every way and would only adopt a child to carry on her evil lineage.

It may not even go that far. She may get bored of them or decide they aren’t worthy of becoming her protege and just dispose of them like an old play thing.

(Sorry Junko stans but I’m not about to pretend she’s just a bratty, preppy rich blonde mean girl type. She’s a selfish and abusive psychopath lmao)

Mukuro Ikusaba:

Another one who probably shouldn’t be a mother.

I do feel bad for her though. Much like Korekiyo, I think their siblings both abused and manipulated them from a young age. They never learned any differently. Still she’s responsible for her bad choices in the series.

Without Junko’s influence, I believe she would be fiercely protective of a child, much like an obsessive mother bear once she retired from mercenary work for good.

But unfortunately, she’s given her life to her abusive sister.

If she had a child, they would either be neglected because she spends all of her time serving Junko or away on dangerous mercenary missions.

Or they would be trained to be an abused slave to their aunt Junko just like Mukuro is.

Junko may manipulate Mukuro into adopting a child, saying things like: “you’re more of the mommy type than me!” Or, “yeah I totally think a despair filled child would be good for you! You could teach it to like kick ass and shit!”

This of course, was all a way to get Mukuro to do all the work of actually raising the child, while Junko warped both of their minds to her cause.