#baked them into a pie and fed them to people

[masterstr0ke]

Hi, I'd like to make a request if it's ok.

Could I request Aventurine getting jealous because everyone at the IPC is enjoying sweets made by his s/o who's a baker? Aventurine thought they'd forgotten all about him only for them to come into his office with a basket full of tea and snacks to enjoy with him.

I’M CONVINCED MY MAMA WAS RIGHT, SO I’M GONNA MAKE HIM A BERRY PIE.

AVENTURINE x GN!MEDIC!READER

WARNINGS: jealous Aventurine, 2ND person POV (you, yours, yourself).

WORD COUNT: 391

A/N: I’m so sorry i forgot this request😭😭

You were a medic at the IPC, renowned for dating the infamous Aventurine, and being a damn good baker.

You were way too selfless than your boyfriend (that’s what they say, at least), preparing several dozens of delicious treats for everyone in the IPC, and for that you knew everyone, or almost everyone..

Today was just one of those days, distributing cakes and cookies alike to everyone you see, and as you walk away you’d hear squeals of excitement over how good your baked goods tasted, and you had everyone in a good mood, or almost everyone.. Aventurine was not happy, not at all. He’s the one who’s supposed to make you happy at a 100%, not those.. people! He’s the one who’s supposed to be giving you that wide of a smile!

He had a scowl on his face, and you noticed that almost immediately. “Aven’?” you go over to him, but he huffs and walks away, leaving you puzzled.

After you distribute the bunch meant for everyone else, you rush back to the infirmary, grabbing a well-arranged basket full of Aventurine’s favorite desserts, holding it near your chest with both arms, then you rushed over to Aventurine’s office.

You knocked with your head. “Enter.” Aventurine said, and judging by his voice his mood was sour.

You smiled as you apply pressure on the doorknob with your elbow, opening the door. “You know i wouldn’t leave you behind, right?” 

His mood took a 180° turn, his face lighting up at your preparation for him. “Oh, lucky charm, you didn’t have to do that!” he smiled.

You close the door with your foot, and walk over to his desk, setting down the basket. “Oh, please, everyone could sense your jealo-“

“I wasn’t jealous” he shook his head.

“Yeah, yeah, just eat.” You gave him a cookie, and he leaned forward to your hand. You roll your eyes before feeding it to him.

He let out a groan of pleasure at the taste. “Best cookie ever.”

“Because i baked it or because i fed it to you?”

He looked at you intently with his multicolored eyes. “Why not both?” he shrugged. “You being a medic really paid off, healed my soul with that cookie.”

You playfully hit him on the shoulder. “Stop that.”

“I only speak the truth, lucky charm.” he smiled.

[honey-minded-hivemind]

In light of the fact that I seem to enjoy given prompts or ideas that give our characters a hard time, here's something light:

Reader, who is a teen living at the mansion, tells everyone that their family is coming to visit. Everyone groans because family visits mean one of 2 things: thinly veiled racism thrown toward mutants until its not so thinly veiled and they need to be thrown out, or over protective parents who don't care that their kid needs to learn to control their mutation and needs the protection and community of other mutants, "their pwecious babie" needs to come home to mommy and daddy because they said so. And then they get thrown out.

So the day Reader's fam comes to visit and everybody is just bracing themselves for the worst. Then the family comes through the door.

It's just...a family full of Readers.

They're all so happy to see Reader and meet all their mutant friends and are so thankful the X-men could help their kid where they couldn't and oh they are just so proud.

Reader's grandma is pinching Scott's cheek, telling him what a "handsome young man" he was. Their uncle is giving a burly bear hug to Kurt and sharing the beers he brought for the road with Logan. Their aunties have taken over the kitchen to make everyone food. Their parents have pulled out baby photos to show Jean and Storm. Someone gave like, 12 blankets to Charles.

Aaaaaaawwwwwwww!!!!! I LOVE IT! The Readerson Family! (The last name comes from BeeBea🐝!)

The mutants are dumbfounded.

Okay. What is this?

Reader's family is actually... nice.

Like, really nice.

Heck, they've buried Charles in blankets, gifted Hank a tea set with different tea pots and cups and tea bags, Storm and Jean are being showed baby pictures of Reader (and Kitty is watching too, along with Evan). Reader's uncle is having beers with Logan, hugging Kurt and Evan, and handing them root beers. Scott is having him cheek pinched by Reader's grandma and grandpa, who keep calling him a good boy and how he is a handsome young man. Kitty and Kurt are now being given lessons on how to cook, as well as being fed food that Reader's family brought, which includes brisket, apple and pecan pie, chicken and rice casserole, some baked potatoes and roasted potatoes, and some Chick-fil-A if anyone was still hungry afterwards.

This is all... a lot to take in.

Um.

Reader.

Who are these people, and how can they all get adopted into your family? Please? These people are like, older friendly version of you. And they're all nice. And they feed them food and call them such nice people. Reader. Reader please, let them visit you and your family for the holidays. 🥺

(Woo-hoo!!!! I loved this one, @sugar-soda! It's about time we gave Reader a good family au!) (Especially since they get angst and horror so much!)

[gallusrostromegalus]

So I have noticed something very interesting. Gin is buttering up aizen to feed him to the god machine as some premuim petrol. BUT ALSO many powerful souls that die DON't get fed to the god machine. They go to hell because they are powerfull enough that their removal from the world harms the god machine more than feeding them helps it. So my question is, whats up with that?

there's a couple parts to this:

Powerful souls that go to hell because they're powerful ARE STILL feeding The Life Machine- All that power they're off-gassing in Hell is still going into The Life machine- Hell exists more or less as a ringer to squeeze spiritual energy out of souls before sending them back into the cycle to grow again.

It harms The Life machine more to consume a powerful soul in totality because then The Life Machine doesn't get to use that *particualrly good* soul to generate energy it needs again, and again, and again- So someone like Yamamoto is going to go around about a zillion more times, if things go well.

Problem is, things are NOT going well right now- the wheel is jammed and not giving the Life Machine nearly the energy it needs, so it needs an emergency calorie dump while Tech Support works out how to unjam the wheel, which may, technically, involve stopping and starting it again.

The final thing is a matter of scale. if we think of souls in terms of calories: >Regular animal/plant soul: One Cheez-it. Not a lot individually, but they add up. >Regular Human Soul: One Chicken Nugget/celery and peanut butter. it's technically a snack, but it's not satisfying on it's own. >Average Shingami, Quincy footsoldier or lesser hollow Soul: Fast-food meal. About as much food at most people really need in a day. >Captain-class Shinigami or Espada-class Hollows or Sternritter: Giant Meal At Grandma's House that leaves you passed out on the couch and the leftovers she sends you home with that feed you for a week. >Aizen, once he fuses with the hollow inside the Hogyoku and achieves his Final Form: Actually eating every last crumb of every last dish at the Family Reunion thanksgiving with four grandmas cooking: Two turkeys, A Standing Rib Roast, A Ham, six kinds of soup, two salads, four types of baked vegetables, mashed potatoes, sweet potatoes, baked potatoes, potatoes au gratin, popovers, busicuits, rolls and bread, an actual ocean of gravy- and then there's dessert: Apple pie, pumkin pie, pecan pie, cherry pie, chocolate cake, cookies, early christmas cookies, avalanches of whipped cream. And ofc- cider and beer and hot chocolate and coffee and soda and fuck it just drink a whole gallon of milk while you're at it. More food than any human should consume in a whole year, let alone one sitting.

So you can see why Aizen is getting pulled out of the cycle for special treatment. He's gonna be there for The Life Machine to gnaw on for most of the series. And even then, after suffering the most direct and intimate contact anyone can get with what passes for god, The Life Machine may yet choose to send his empty, heavily chewed husk back for another turn because that why waste the seed of a good crop like?

[a-dauntless-daffodil]

ITS ALMOST HALLOWEEN!!! MY NEW PONY OC IS READY

Wither Pumpkin’s Pattern Patch: Whither you go, pumpkins aglow!

Wither Pumpkin keeps a pumpkin patch at the edge of the Dark Woods. She spends all afternoon wandering around, watering, tending, and admiring the her pumpkin friends, who all have names! When evening comes she picks up her chalk and uses it to draw a special face or pattern on the pumpkins, making sure it’s the one they will be happy with. Then her assistant hedgehogs nibble out the carvings, while she places specially made candles inside to make the patterns glow! The candles are made of the pumpkin’s stem and will always give light, as long as the new jack o’lantern is fed sweet snacks like raisins and candy corn. Wither Pumpkin gives these lanterns to anyone going into the Dark Wood to help keep them safe and happy as they travel. “I love the dark,” Wither Pumpkin chuckles, lighting the candle in her newest lantern, “I want to show off how pretty it makes everything, and give people a chance to explore it without fear!”

Her hedgehog friend, Snacker Lantern, is very proud of her creations and loves making pumpkin pies and tarts out of the leftovers. “Wither Pumpkin has an eagle eye for pumpkins!” says Snacker Lantern. “And I should know, because I do too!”

At the end of the night, Wither Pumpkin and her friend go home to her giant pumpkin house and curl up by the cinnamon and allspice fireplace to rest- but only AFTER making sure all the lantern lights have been safely blown out!   

Wither Pumpkin’s Pattern Patch playset: - Wither Pumpkin pony toy, with brushable mane and tail. - Green pumpkin vine themed hair comb. - Two smaller toy hedgehogs, Snacker Lantern and Cruncher Jack. - Hollow toy pumpkin with three swapable face attachments. - Smaller glow in the dark toy candle shaped like a twisting vine stem. - Pie tin toy container with baked pie top lid, able to hold all the pumpkin face attachments. - Large carved pumpkin house container, which unfolds in half and fits all the other toys inside.     - Back card with description and illustrations.

[thejoyofseax]

Féile na nÚll Menu & Analysis

I had really meant to publish the menu before the event, but ingredient acquisition took more time and effort than expected. In particular, chestnut flour, which I wanted as a thickener for various gluten-free dishes, just could not be found anywhere I tried. I didn't find that out with enough lead time to order it online. Almond flour substituted, and was fine.

Anyway. Here's the full menu, which fed varying numbers of people, but I think about 45 for the feast.

Travellers' Fare (Friday evening): Beef stew with bread and butter (vegan stew on the side, plant butter available, GF bread available).

Saturday Breakfast was produced by the inimitable Lady Meadhbh Rois inghean Uí Chaoimh.

Saturday Lunch: Chicken soup (vegan soup alongside), bread, fruit.

Feast: Roast pork (vegan nut roast on side), Frumenty (rice on side), apple sauce, green sauce, meat pies (mushroom pie on side), creamed leeks (with fake cream), buttered turnips (with plant butter), roasted onions, purple carrots (with plant butter), olives, anchovies, apple pies, blackberry and apple pies (all pies with GF/vegan versions as well, where possible).

Sunday breakfast: Porridge with cream and fruit, stewed apples, boiled eggs, cold ham, and various leftovers, mostly fruit pies.

The emphasis here wasn't on any particular production of period dishes, but on making sure everyone got good solid food. It's also an entirely plausible English Tudor menu, including the frumenty and green sauce as dishes that didn't make it through the Early Modern. As far as I can make out, everyone enjoyed it (although nobody ever tells the cook they didn't). The coeliac and vegan/vegetarian folk expressed particular approval, which was important. Anything I could make GF and vegan was made so (plant butter and almond flour are the two main tricks here).

Gabrielle and Katie were in the kitchen every hour I was, and possibly a few more, and a great deal of credit for the weekend's food being on the tables on time is due to them. Katie also set in, with very limited prior experience, to making pastry for the non-gluten-free pies, and produced some of the best I've ever encountered. She's been designated Head Pastrychef in Perpetuity as a consequence. There were also many other kitchen helpers, who've been thanked appropriately on Facebook. The relevant note here is that we had 4-5 people in the kitchen at most times, which was more than enough, and kept everyone relaxed. The SCA Kitchen playlist (85% mine, 15% Gabrielle's) was also helpful.

So. The first thing that I want to improve is the gluten-free pastry. Making it vegan as well was trivial; replace the lard/dripping with plant butter, and it's absolutely fine. Any fat will do for that, it seems, although since the traditional use for the pastry is the raised pork pie, the meat fats help match the taste. The gluten-free flour, however, could only be persuaded to make a paste, not a pastry - trying to roll it out into sheets simply didn't work. It would take the form of a sheet, alright, but if I went to pick it up, it just broke. An experimental version that Gabrielle and I did before the event could be sort-of lifted into place on baking parchment, but it broke over the contents of the pie. In theory, with a very dense, relatively smooth pie filling (such as a meat pie that's been well-packed), you could get a coherent crust, but I don't know what would happen to that as the contents shrink in baking. Xanthan gum appeared to make zero difference.

So we've some more experimentation to do there. One suggestion is to use an egg or two, which will take it away from being vegan - but a vegan pastry, using plant butter instead, should not be a problem to produce as an ordinary cold pastry. Various things will be trialled.

The green sauce came out particularly well. Órlaith did her usual superlative job of chopping herbs, primarily sorrel and mint, with some basil and thyme, some black pepper, and garlic salt. The liquid base was about 2 parts olive oil to one part white wine vinegar. We only made a small amount, but nearly all of it was eaten. Green sauce is basically a table condiment for the latter end of the SCA period in Western Europe, and I have vague plans to make and bottle some at some stage, to see how it keeps and matures in the longer term.

I made far too much of the frumenty. Bulgur wheat isn't terribly expensive, so I don't feel too bad about it, and the carbohydrates are absolutely the area in which to over-provide. But for my future reference, about 400g of dry bulgur will provide enough for about 30 people without difficulty.

The roasted onions were surprisingly popular. I think we did 11 whole onions, and only one and a half came back to the kitchen.

The meat pies disappeared in their entirety, as far as I can tell. One was a combination of minced pork, minced lamb, and whatever vegetables were to hand; the other was filled with the remnants of Friday's beef stew. I was very pleased to be able to integrate leftovers into the feast; I am completely certain that a rolling use of leftovers in subsequent days' dishes was a standard feature of any period cookery, and we don't often get to do that over a weekend.

The purple carrots were entertaining. I can't detect any difference in taste from orange carrots, but they stain everything they touch a nice shade of purple-blue. I'll get them again if I can just for that.

Overall, I'm pleased with how things came out, and I'll do either of the Arabic or Pre-Norman Irish menus I had partially worked out for next year.

[jawllines]

Thanksgiving got me thinking….

Even if none of these harry’s and y/n’s celebrate the holiday they probably do something small.

Firemanrry attempts to have a thanksgiving lunch with y/n and their friends, even if it’s super small because he wants everyone to have a good experience at every holiday. And he for sure celebrates this holiday because he feels bad for it, as it’s not commonly picked as a favorite and most focus on Christmas which is right around the corner from it. Y/n sees him putting in so much effort so she surprises him with little Turkey cookies and bakes his favorite pie, and of course she makes special themed dog treats for pebble. Harry absolutely loves it and gets so excited he even brings some of the treats (both human and dog) to the fire station to not only show off her amazing skills but to spread the joy. And when it’s time to make the actual feast he doesn’t let Y/N help instead encourages her to relax but she sits on a stool and watches and talks to him all the way through it, even sneaking in a few jobs to help him. And can’t forget, their whole apartment smells of late fall, they went out candle shopping on October 24 (Harry was worried all the good scents were gone by now, and kept telling her they should have went early. Spoiler alert all the good late fall scented ones were there and he bought her extra goodies like bathbombs as a sorry gift.

Mechanicrry and y/n are on the same page, they just want to spend the night together eating then cuddling while watching movies. Although Y/N does drag Harry to the thanksgiving lunch at Nial’s place where everyone else was too. He only agrees to go if he can take strudel with them, she obviously agrees. They check in with Nial and he has no issue with it either, Harry although states that he would have smuggled her in even if Nial said no. All of them have a great time and strudel even falls asleep on Harry’s thigh while he eats, Harry drops everything to take as many pictures as he can and says “Y/N, baby look our little angel got tired and went for a nap” he then proceeds to shush people when they get too loud.

Princerry doesn’t like this Holliday. He hates seeing y/n have to do so much work for the huge feast/party his parents were throwing. The entire time she is preparing for it, he runs around following her and even sneaks her away a bunch (most of the time using stupid excuses) because he wants alone time with her and for her to rest and not get overworked. He also keeps her well fed and hydrated the entire time. At the time of the meal, he excused himself very early on and instead sneaks away taking his plate and finding y/n. She is worried and scared the entire time that they will get in trouble and convinces him to go back, but she secretly loves every minute of this so eventually stops. He bundles them both up and takes her to the garden where they sit by the flowers and eat from his plate. He tells her that her hands her too dirty and said that he has to feed her because of this, no other reason (it is very clear this was not the reason as y/n was helping with the food before he stole her away) He also has her feed him, saying “my hands are getting tired from feeding you, you feed me” she would respond, “I thought my hands were ‘too dirty’” and he of course counters with “I know, but I’ll just deal with them. Now hurry before I starve to death” and quickly opens his mouth

STOPTSPDRT THESE ARE SO CUTE AND VERY VERY MUCH IN CHARACTER ESPECIALLY PRINCERRY I CAN DEFINITELY VISUALIZE IT!! I LOVE THIS SM

[theoptimisticdaydreamer]

I propose a new Bake Off to give the peasants and the bakers of Bake Offs Past fresh entertainment.

There are only two contestants in this Bake Off I have dubbed A Taste of Your Own Bake Off : the beloved Paul and Prue.

Their task is to do every single challenge that they have set the bakers across all seasons and special editions of Bake Off (Comic Relief, Stand Up to Cancer, Sports Relief, Holidays etc).

Except they are given absolutely no actual instructions just the prompt of the task. The prompt of the task will be written in Old English script from the 1000s hidden within a random long winded paragraph from the period. They have only two minutes to decipher the paper before it spontaneously combusts. They have to remember on their own the minutia of each prompt. Every deviation away from the minutia will require them to spend 3 hours in community service, making food to feed hundreds of people with budget no-name brand ingredients while wearing a hairnet and an apron that has seen better days with a name tag on it that reads "Donna".

They are only allowed a quarter of the space they give each baker. They have to share half an oven, half a fridge etc.

They must finish each task in the time it takes for a baker to breathe or Noel to spell his name backwards. They are allowed absolutely no breaks and must do every single task in one sitting.

Any protests are met with an automatic 1 minute time deduction. Every second they go over the clock, they must do an additional 10 tasks set by the bakers themselves. These tasks can be anything the bakers please but bonus tasks include ~making a 5 course meal on a $3 budget, hiding vegetables in dessert and having to feed them to picky children, accomodating multiple food sensitivities within a given task, and looking after 5 hellion toddlers while simultaneously making a 5-tier wedding cake~.

There will be also the obligatory imagination tasks that will be thrown in every hour. Such as: flying cakes, armor made out of tuille, model-size replica of ancient cities made completely out of spun sugar and a working cannon using only fruit. The more outrageous and gravity defying the better.

Every so often their timer will be taken from them/sabotaged or they will be blindfolded or have their hands tied behind their back. These will occur more frequently any time they get cocky.

When they get judged, they will be met with absolutely no kindness because every bake will be torn apart and nitpicked to pieces. Classic comments include "this needed 10-15 more minutes in the oven" and "I don't like <insert flavor they have used here>. I can taste it too much. You should have used <insert flavor they have historically hated> instead.", and "I would have expected by now, perfection".

Everytime their results don't measure up to Bake Off Standards (being an edible museum centerpiece worthy of being fed to royalty), they must deposit a minimum of $5,000 into every previous baker's bank accounts and a minimum of $10,000 to charity. The number increases exponentially every time they are rude or complain.

Because all the bakers deserve a break and everyone deserves to see these two windbags be smacked in the face with some sweet karma pie.

[drewlyyours]

Rating Nancy Drew Game Moms for Mother’s Day:

Every mom starts out 5/10 for being mom

(Warning: these are just my opinions and I’m a silly lil guy so)

(Oh and spoilers I guess)

Kate Drew (Nancy’s mom)

10/10

-3 hid things from her family because she was a spy and she dies for it :(

+3 SPY MOM

+5 teaches her daughter about how loved she is and about the beauty of music and poetry and helping others

Camille Hurley (doll mom)

10/10

-5 didn’t have kids

+10 OH MY GOSH THATS NOT HER FAULT SHE WANTED THEM SHUT UP SHE HAS HER DOLLS AND WE LOVE HER FOR THAT

Ethel Bossiny (Jane’s tutor while her mother is gone)

6/10

-5 never breeded

+7 breeds chaos consistently

-5 or teaching Jane to be in a cult

+5 for upholding family tradition!

-2 scary as all hell

+4 helps teach Jane life skills and academics while her parents are gone

-3 look where that got her

Linda Penvellyn (Jane’s step-mom)

8/10

-5 Jane has only been in her life like a couple months and hates her

+8 stays even when her husband is not around and she is depleting mentally and physically due to the strain and literal curse this child is putting on her

Renee Penvellyn (Jane’s mom)

7/10

+5 Jane’s favorite mom

+2 opera singer!

-1 hard divorce :(

-4 literally isn’t around and this affects child quite badly

Mrs. Petrov (Linda’s mom)

10/10

+5 literally gets a detective to go investigate why her daughter wasn’t feeling well

-2 doesn’t go herself

+2 would probably fight the entire Penvellyn family (including Mrs. Drake) for her and that’s goals

Mrs. Drake (plant mom)

10/10

+3 loves her plants more than people

+2 won awards for best plants

-1 feeds people to her plants

+1 feeds her plants people

Marion Aborn (“fill-in” mom for Emily)

1/10

-10 not a mom

+10 fills in when Emily’s mom died

-10 basically a literal kidnapper and thief

+1 makes pie

Ezra Wickford (Dexter’s adoptive… dadmom)

8/10

-5 not mom

+10 invented chocolate milk

-4 dexter’s daddy issues

+2 the scrapbook

Kasumi Shimizu (Yumi and Miwako’s mom)

8/10

+5 literally the glue that held their family together

-2 died

Whomever mothered Lori Girard

0/10

-5 clearly did bad

Jing-Jing Ling (my mom)

10/10

+5 makes fresh-baked cookies every day made of love

Charleena Purcell (mother of all romance novels)

8/10

+5 changed Fatima’s life forever

-3 bad at fan interactions

+1 has an illustrious air about her which is the perfect condition for romance novels

Miles the Magnificent Memory Machine (Joy’s Robot Thing)

10/10

-10 is a consciousless robot

+2 made with love and the purpose of distributing love and advice to Joy

+10 even bad memories have a place in a good life

+2 the one consistent thing in Joy’s life even when it may annoy her

+1 I will cry

Rita Hallowell (cat mom)

8/10

+5 for literally being the most iconic duo

-2 Usher becomes a legend for constantly wandering aimlessly at Waverly likely seeking his mother after her death

Hannah Gruen (Nancy’s housekeeper)

10/10

+5 caring for Nancy when her mother died and being wonderful always

Emily Griffen (dog mom)

0/10

-5 USED DOGS FOR NEFARIOUS PURPOSES

+2 probably got dogs from the pound and fed them when no one else would

-2 SPECULATION

Sally McDonald (dog mom)

10/10

+2 takes dogs in even when already stressed in life

+1 keeps all of them

+2 has a lots of land for them to play and be friends and have good doggie lives

Rosalie Thornton (Clara’s mother)

0/10

-3 won’t freaking tell her kid who her father is and then dies

-2 look where that got her!

Clara Thornton (Jessalyn’s mother)

3/10

-5 MURDERS HER COUSIN!!

+1 this point is from Charlotte cause I feel like she would think the guilt this woman carries about that is punishment enough

+3 literally loves her daughter so much truly

-3 lies consistently to her daughter

+2 she has trauma and her family history is kinda disgusting and has been disgusting to her… I kinda get it

[ophexis]

Hi! I'm alive! Let tell you about the

Elder Scrolls Cookbook!

Winner of the last poll! I know I'm under zero time constraints but sorry for taking a while lmao.

This is kind of going full circle for me, because when I joined tumblr, the very first thing I ever blogged about was my Skyrim playthroughs, not too long before I got into Saints Row and changed my life significantly. So this is kind of nostalgic for me lol. Anyway, onto the book!

The Elder Scrolls cookbook is a CLASSIC. Like I'm pretty sure it's not at all the first "nerdy" cookbook ever made, or even the first cookbook made for a specific franchise or anything, but when this came out it was kind of a big deal, probably because Skyrim was still a big deal lmao. I remember people trading the sweetrolls recipe around.

I kinda wonder if it's one of the first cookbook that tried to stay "in-universe". Because sometimes cookbooks really don't (there are a few Star Wars kids cookbooks that come to mind). But the Elder Scrolls cookbook is in-universe and has little lore snippets in each recipe, which I'm always a fan of.

The book is themed for The Elder Scrolls setting as a whole, but you can tell it came out at the height of Skyrim's popularity lol.

The book starts off with a chapter covering basics, from spice mixes to pie doughs to sauces, which I think is really cool. Not every cookbook has those, and they'll be used throughout the book so it's good to have a look through that chapter. Then the rest of the book is divided between sides, main meals, soups, breads, desserts and drinks. The recipes lean towards hearty recipes, perfect for surviving the harsh wilds of Tamriel.

The Nines know my poor fifth playthrough insomniac mage who I walked manually from Whiterun to the College of Winterhold would have needed it.

The cookbook has a photo for every recipe except one of the meads for some reasons lol. But I'll let that one slide because it's "just" a drink. It's not that hard to put a photo of food on recipes but man it is not standard and I'll complain about it forever. But the Skyrim cookbook has photos, thank the Nines.

I've cooked only one recipe from this book but what a recipe it is. Pictured above on the right, it's the orsimer venison, a sweet, slightly spicy, soy sauce meat recipe that is fuckin delicious and I've made it dozens of time (always with beef bc it's easier to find lol). On the left is the redguard rice, which is a current contender for the recipe I'll make from this for the poll (though I'm also looking at the Companion meatball recipe....which sounds funny said like that lmao). The redguard rice uses ground lamb, and I can't remember ever having lamb before! If I can find it I would definitely like to try.

We also, of course, have the Sweetroll recipe. I haven't made it yet but I recently and FINALLY found a small-sized fluted baking pan so I really want to make them soon.

Overall this is a really solid cookbook, it looks pretty, the photos are huge, there's a little bit of lore and story on every recipe. There are more fish-based recipes than I expected, which isn't as interesting for me but it adds variety. I kinda wish there were a few more main meals in there. I'm also torn on if I'd like the book to be divided by meal types as it is currently, or if it'd be neat to have the chapters be themed around cultures for extra lore flavor, like the DND cookbook. idk!

The recipes are pretty standard and don't tend to go for funky ingredients but I think that's fine. They do tend to go for venison and lamb for meat, which I think makes sense, thinking about Skyrim! (and yes the book is still very heavily focused on Skyrim, thought there are a few recipes from elsewhere) The recipes are hearty, using cheese, meats, lots of veggies and with a significant soup chapter and also lots of desserts. You'll be well fed as you travel Tamriel! Just watch your back for them Dark Brotherhood types.

Bonus themed images bc I feel like it: Some of the few surviving screenshots I had from Oblivion, when our computer couldn't run it well so my dad modded it to run at even lower specs and I'm pretty sure it turned off all the lighting. But I had such a great time.

My khajiit assassin at home uwu

And my main, in casual wear for some reason. She was a heavy armor build lol. And my outlet for making drow, without access to dnd.

ANYWAY hope this was mildly entertaining! I'll try to choose a recipe for this week, but I'm being forced to go into office more often so I can't garantee a time. Currently it's between the redguard rice and the companion meatballs.

Also check out Misohungrie's several few videos of him covering the cookbook and some extra recipes! I love his videos so you should check them out.

[sabbathbloodysabbeth]

Does anyone have any food habits that’s literally make no fucking sense?

So like its 2 am and my brain has been thinking about this for a while and honestly I feel so bad for my mom, because I know she was right (for once) about certain things that involved food with me growing up.

This turned into me ranting about food.

Like I know that no matter how you cut your toast/sandwich it will taste the same but god damn the triangle cut is the right way. It just tastes wrong when it’s a rectangle or in any other form. (Though with peanut butter sandwiches, crustables are an acceptation)

I also know that Spaghetti sauce that is mixed in with the pasta is exactly the same as it just being place on top of the pasta. But god damn it my brain won’t allow me to eat it if it’s mixed. (Acceptation being when it’s left overs)

Pizza is pizza but circle pizza is superior to sheet pizza fucking fight me

Strawberry Cake pops will and always taste better then regular strawberry cake. (It’s the exact fucking thing different form, and I hate Starbucks cake pops)

Relish is basically pickles but if you even think about bringing that shit near me I will deck you (I love pickles)

Mashed potatoes taste the same whether you mix them with a mixer or not. But, god damn I want them mixed with a mixer even though most times the texture is the same along with flavor.

You can not simply just fucking bake fries and get away with it, they are named fries for a reason so fucking fry them 😡 (for me, I know some people can’t handle grease)

Bananas are bananas but none of them ever taste the same. I know it has to do something with ripeness but for the love of god ice cream shops have the best ones, but if I bite into one and it doesn’t taste right I’m spitting it out.

Trail mixes taste the same whether you eat them randomly or pick and organize all of them and then eat all of the m&m’s first. (Does this stop me from separating it, no)

Anything with coconut can die

Turkey sucks ass on thanksgiving, or the first day it is cooked. It is far superior as left overs even though it’s exactly the same thing.

Eggs are wacky as fuck, scrambled eggs taste amazing and are good for the first two bites and then after it’s immediate regret.

All of Mcdonalds chicken nuggets are the same, but each shape tastes different to me (I worked at Mcdonalds and have cooked and seen with my own eyes that they are all the same)

Anything with the name casserole in it was created from satans balls and deserves to go into purgatory or be force fed to bigots as punishment.

Shepards pie can not be made with cream corn, it just can’t has to be made with regular

Frosting is overrated

Mac and Cheese has to be creamy, for the love of god don’t bake it. (It tastes the same but oh my god)

I can’t eat something sweet with out having something salty after words it’s becoming a problem because there is nothing salty enough in my place

Fruity Pebbles are far superior then coco pebbles

Cheerios are just the boring straight version of fruit loops (spoiler alert no cereal is healthy) ((I could be wrong don’t quote me))

I don’t trust Squash

Pumpkins are overrated but cookies are okay

Banana bread isn’t good without chocolate chips

Also salads aren’t made the same, they have to be at room temp and not wet for me to eat it.

I don’t even know where I went for some of this, I just blacked out and typed 👁️👄👁️ but does anyone else have a weird thing with food? Another one I have is I can’t drink from a can without tapping the top first.

[sn-ryter]

"Look into the soul of the body you choose." Were the words that started it all. She was just a little girl, playing with dolls as her mom was baking a pie in the brick oven in the corner of the kitchen made of nothing but cobbled stone. Her mother had certain abilities. She could heal people, make people fall in love with one another, making all your wishes come true if you wanted them that bad. But with each practice, there was a price to pay to balance out nature.

Back then she never understood what her mother meant but as time progressed and seasons changed then it finally all came together. Her mother was a witch. She performed mainly with nature, and what it had to offer. A white witch. She helped the villagers as long as they promised to keep her a secret. However, one villager had slippery lips and told the wrong person. Soon the rumor spread amongst the villagers and word eventually made it to the king's table.

A peaceful month went by before loud banging was heard at the wooden front door. Peeking through one of the cracks, it was the king's men. "Open up witch!" They demanded. Shielding Esme from the sight she was about to witness, she led her down into the a hole underneath the floorboards. "Whatever you do, whatever you hear, do not come out till the coast is clear Esme. Just know I love you so much, and all the answers you will ever need are in my books, the ones on the shelves. Do not forget me my darling." Kissing the adolescent's head, she closed the door and laid a carpet on top of the area so no one can find her.

What came next was something no daughter should ever hear. Loud torturous screams pierced her ears as she listened to her mom being burned alive while being tied against a wooden pole in the ground. It felt like hours by the time the world around her grew silent. Esme got out of her hiding spot, and peaked outside, seeing her mother's burned corpse still tied to the pole. Covering her mouth, she let a few silent tears stream down her cheeks. This is when a sweet innocent girl's life will be changed forever. The first person on her list, was the person who's tongue holds no boundaries.

Grabbing her mother's grimoires, she started to read everything. Sometimes the same grimoire two or three times until she had every single word memorized. By the time Esme was sixteen years old, she was a full on enchantress who had all of her powers. She was the youngest full witch in the land from what she knew anyways. When the time was right, and the moon was full while crisp for filled the atmosphere, she grabbed her red cloak, and her mother's athame and went to the village while innocents were sleeping.

From Blue eyes that turned the color of emerald, she found the home where the villager who has loose lips resided in. With a smirk of her lips, she snuck herself in without anyone noticing her. Quietly walking up the stairs, she saw the woman sleeping peacefully. Closing the curtains, she gently slid off her clothes, and put an enchantment on the woman who's true dream was to find true love. However, that was going to be short lived tonight. Lightly touching the silky skin of the woman's legs, she started to seduce her. Tongue tasting the sweet swollen nub, the woman's soft moans filling the air. She was still in a deep slumber though. Watching the sleeping villager take off her dress, Esme's lips found hers and kissed the woman deeply, their lower halves rubbing against one another mixing their juices together, nipples rubbing against nipples.

When the sleeping woman was about to reach her peak, Esme, slit the tongue out of the girl's mouth. The woman's eyes bugged open as she looked over at Esme with pure horror in her eyes. "Say hello to the devil for me." She hissed. As the woman screamed, Esme slit her throat, coating herself in the blood, their eyes never once leaving the other. Just like her mother said. "Look into the soul of the body you choose." Licking the blood from her neck, she fed on the woman. Until she had no pulse left.

Before sliding her clothes back on, she sliced into the woman's body, "Tongue of the devil." were the words she carved into the woman's stomach. Licking the athame clean, she slid it back into her corset right between her breasts. Keeping the tongue as a souvenir, she went to the middle of the town. Everyone was still sleeping. Digging deep into her mind, she casted a spell on everyone who watched and ridiculed her mother's death will stab themselves till they die at dawn when the sun peeks just over the horizon.

Watching the green hues emerge from her fingers and spread amongst the village, she let a satisfying smirk tug on her lips. Before leaving the village and heading into the woods, where she will watch the whole event unfold before her very eyes. Climbing up the tallest hill, she sat down, and looked upon the village, waiting quietly. What seemed like an eternity, the sun was finally rising, and the first high pitch scream split the air. Then the next, and another one after that. Before long, the whole town was filled with shrieking screams. "May hell, smile upon you all today." She whispered, kissing her mother's ruby that hung around her throat.

After the deed was done, she looked towards the direction of the castle, debating on whether if she should get her vengeance on them now, or at a different time. Deciding that she will wait until the time is right, she headed towards the opposite direction where she will find her cult, or her following. Maybe both. But first thing is first. She needed to cleanse the blood off of her body.

Following the path down to the river, she slid her dress off. Porcelain skin was all that was revealed to the world around her. Stepping into the cool water, she let the temperature take over her senses as she stepped deeper and deeper until she was at shoulder height. Her hands running along her slender arms, watching the velvety red liquid disappear into the River. "Did those screams give you a sense of pride?" Whispered a man's voice, so close that she believed he was actually inside of her head. "Who's there?!" She yelled out, turning her body in every direction to see where the voice was coming from.

Laughter. That's all she could hear now echoing inside of her head. "If you want to see me, you need to open up all of your senses... touch yourself." Said the man.

"I will do no such thing."

"Yes you will, Esme. I have the power to do anything I want with you. Do as I say. Touch yourself."

"You will have to kill me first."

"Do I? Only eyes on you are mine. Dance with me my beauty. Touch yourself. And when I come into view, I promise to give you the feeling you most desire."

Biting her lower lip, she reached down, her two fingers exploring her slit until they reached her soft nub.

"That's it... keep going." Hissed the man inside of her head. "Close your eyes and let your mind wonder."

Rubbing her fingers in a circular motion, she pinched and rubbed faster. Her nub becoming swollen as the arousal grew more inside of her. Tilting her head back, she closed her eyes. Soft moans seeping out of her lips.

Before she knew it, her legs were being spread open, a man with small horns growing from the top of his head was in between her legs. She felt a slimy sensation run along her slit, a tongue that has a snake like length going inside of her tight core.

"Yes, don't stop." She begged in her whining voice.

The man didn't stop, his tongue flickered faster and rolled around as his sharp pointed fangs nibbled on her swollen nub. His masculine arms, wrapped around her waist pulling her in closer. Loud gasps and moans escaped Esme's body as her breathing became labored. And for the first time ever, Esme had her first orgasm. But the devil himself was not done with her.

Lifting her up, he wrapped her legs around his waist, taking her back to the village where the people shed their blood. His tongue rolling around her stiff nipple. Her hands gripping his dark black hair. Esme paid no mind to her surroundings, nor to what this creature was about to do. With a wave of his hand, he levitated all of the dead bodies to the middle of the town. Their blood flowing to the bodies that are about to become one.

"If you want your mother back you need to swear to me, that you are mine." He whispered to Esme.

"I swear." She replied in a lust filled voice.

"Good... this might sting a bit." Laying her down in a pool of blood, he lowered his face back to her core. His fangs pushing deep into her pelvis, as he let his tongue roll around the skin in her tight hole, popping it. A loud cry came out of her throat as his long slimy tongue went all the way in sucking her virgin blood, eating her.

After a few moment of pain and pleasure, he turned her body belly down, so she could feel the blood of her victims all over the most sensitive areas. Pressing her head into the red satin cobbled stone, he slid his thick long length inside of her tight core. "Can you still hear the screams of the innocent?" He asked in between his thrusts. Her nipples rubbing against the rough surface, her tongue tasting the mixture of blood from all the villagers.

Her eyes turned from blue to bright emerald, he was transforming her. "Yes... and that gives me a better orgasm than you are giving me right now." She hissed, her body bouncing with each of his hard thrusts. Without a second thought, the devil wrapped his large scaly hand around her neck, choking her while sticking his finger down her throat, smearing more blood across her pretty face. "Is that so my pet?" He asked leaning down, sinking his fangs into the side of her neck, drawing massive amounts of blood to suck on. "Don't make me bleed you dry now."

Gagging on his finger, she reached back and gripped the devil's ass, pushing him in deeper inside of her. "I'm your temple now." She hissed back at him, using her powers to twist her head so she can face him, her lips pressing against his, letting his tongue slither down her throat, without realizing it, her tongue started to grow in length just like his own, tasting the souls he has eaten the further her tongue went down his throat.

This drove the devil wild, he's never seen a woman react to him like this, let alone have massive amounts of power like she does. "Do what you want to me." He whispered. And with a smirk she swiftly rolled on top of the beast, mounting him. Stretching her tight hole over his thick length and started to bounce her hips. "Feed on the girl who yields no tongue." She demanded, levitating a dead blonde girl from the pile of bodies. Having the girl position herself to sit on the devil's face, Esme twisted the dead girls body and started to suck on her nipples letting her own fangs grow out as she bit into her flesh, sucking her dry. Her lower body bounced faster and harder, her moans getting louder and louder while the growls from the devil became overbearing and before she knew it the girl was gone and her blood was on the devil's lips. He ate the girl as Esme was going through a euphoric peak. The devil filling her petite body with his seed.

"My pet." He hissed sitting up, gripping the back of Esme's head and kissed her lips, sealing their fate.

[teddynoh]

꒰⠀⠀⠀⠀kang tae oh.   twenty-nine.   genderqueer.  he/they.⠀⠀⠀⠀꒱        hold your f*** horses !   teddy noh   has just been spotted walking into revolution headquarters. they are best known for being the label’s resident   bodyguard   and have been working with the label for   two years.   they share a lot of interesting things about life in the music industry on their social media, so make sure you don’t forget to follow them at   @nohbear.  the office knows them for being   ditzy   but i swear they’ve got a   selfless   side as well. maybe that explains why they’re always associated with   knitted scarves wrapped around their necks, odd colourful socks hidden under tailored slacks and the smell of a home after baking apple pie.   their coworkers even voted them most likely to win a reality show.   we’ll see how they live up to that reputation.

stats | connections | pinterest

hi all! i’m juju (they/she) and this here is my bumbling bodyguard teddy! message me here or on discord if you wanted to plot something!

name: youngjo ‘teddy’ noh nicknames: ted, bear, jojo, tba age: 29 birthday: february 1st gender: genderqueer pronouns: he/they orientation: biromantic, demisexual hometown: london, england current residence: new york city, usa occupation: bodyguard / security

born in jeju, south korea, teddy’s parents were very in love but also very young when he came to be. the two had a bit of a romeo and juliet story, born into rich families who didn’t approve of their relationship, and even more so of how, unmarried at 18, the two ended expecting a child

the two of them, fed up with their families (and worried about how they may act in the future), decided to use all their savings and uproot their whole lives, moving to london, england

and none of them regretted this one bit. teddy was born and raised with two parents, whose love for each other was only matched by their love for their child. they supported anything and everything teddy wanted to do since before he could even talk

because of this, teddy grew up into a sweet, caring and considerate person, who believed in everything good in the world. but he also never truly had to figure out anything for himself. some may say that his parents coddled them too much, which is likely very true, and that this hindered his ability to truly be independent

sure, teddy knows how to wash clothes and pay bills perfectly fine, but his emotional dependency? that’s a whole other story. they get very easily attached, and can be a bit of a doormat and people pleaser to a fault, finding it hard to say no or ever put himself first, something they never did manage to grow out of completely

upon graduating school at 18, teddy got his first ever job as a bartender. they weren’t the best at it, dropped a few too many bottles and spilled a few too many drinks, but they enjoyed it well enough

however, it was while bartending that teddy got to know just how bad people could be. he often saw the worst of the worst, and stuck behind a long wooden counter could never really do anything to help

over the next several years they job hopped a lot. from bartender to secretary to decorator to barista, teddy had a hard time figuring what he wanted to do and settling down. until a job position as a bouncer opened up at that same first club that he worked at that is

it took a while for him to get used to the job, to being able to say no and stay firm when need be, but after a bit of practice and some growth as a person, teddy really took to the job; charming enough to pacify upset people, and strong enough to use a bit of force when talking them down didn’t work

but then, aged 26, his mother got a job offer. in the united states. and being so close to his parents, teddy hated the idea of being so far from them, only being able to occasionally connect over the phone or web

so of course, it was no surprise when they decided to move across the pond with them

it wasn’t hard for teddy to get a job working security with revolution records. firstly, starting off working security for the building, and doing a good enough job that he worked his way up the job ladder until he was juggled around the company where he was needed, working as main bodyguard to the company higher ups and top artists

wanted connections:

I haven’t managed to brainstorm any specifics, but I’m really open to shoving teddy at any open connections you may have for your muses. though some quick ideas i would love for them are:

- a flatmate - a best friend - artists he’s worked with - cousins - maybe people he dated / went on one bad date with?

[hrcbga]

Research on pies

Human pies.

These pies are made by special effects artist Ashley Newman and baker Andrew Fuller. They are made to look like human faces. They are said to be a 'contemporary turn' on the Victorian Penny Dreadful serial, Sweeney Todd.

The pies Ashley made were not originally edible, but made from perfectly skin-toned latex stretched over a foam base. Once teamed up with cake artist Andrew Fuller, who fully fits the Sweeney Todd profile as the grandson of a barber, they worked together to make edible, aptly named 'People Pot Pies'.

I found the description on how they developed the pie particularly Sweeney Todd inspired, 'As pie makers know, crust is a fickle friend: It thirsts for liquid to become supple, like human skin, yet threatens to become tough and leathery, and shrink away from the pie plate's edge if too much is added.

Of course, the pie is considered the National dish of Britain, but what can be in it? Here are 10 fund facts you may not know about the 'humble British pie'

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When was the pie actually invented?

https://www.bbc.co.uk/bitesize/articles/zmtn2sg

The idea of the pie goes back as far as prior to 2000 BC. The Ancient Egyptians made a pie with a honey filling, covered in a crusty cake made from oats, wheat, rye or barley.

Aristophanes, the Greek writer, mentions pies made from pastry in his plays, closer to the 5th Century BC, and the Romans took that concept even further, making a pastry out of flour, oil and water, although this pastry was used as a way to preserve the ingredients it covered.

Eventually, by the mid 14th century, pies made their way to Europe and in Britain pies had mainly meat fillings, with a base now being called the coffin. However, they were still used as a way to protect and preserve the ingredients inside the pie. The very first cherry pie ever made, was apparently made for Queen Elizabeth I. Shakespeare even wrote about two of the male characters being killed off in his play, Titus Andronicus, baking them in a pie as revenge for attacking the main characters daughter. He fed the pie to his victims' mother.

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We are all familiar with the GBB, or Great British Bake off, but one contestant drew particular attention when they caused outrage when they admitted to his 'passion' for using roadkill animals he finds, in his baking. He named one of his dishes on the show 'Roadkill Pie' when tasked with baking a game pie, as part of a week of challenges inspired by the Victorian era.

Personally I wouldn't have an issue with eating a 'Roadkill Pie' as long as it had not been laying by the road for ages, that would put me off a bit... a lot! In reality, an animal in a game pie still has to die for it to be cooked, also, it is good use of the animal, rather than leaving it to rot by the side of the road.

Here's a newspaper report on the shock of the public and the resulting in a heated online debate by viewers:

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Interestingly, there is even a Sweeney Todd pie brand! Here is a link to their website:

There are a list of pie ingredients, which were, thankfully, all very normal! I particularly liked the idea of the chicken, chilli and chorizo one. I really liked the design of an 'S' on the pie crust, it was a nice touch and nod to the original pie maker extraordinaire. It was interesting to see they also do deserts, such as the traditional chocolate cake

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We then looked at Street Food. First looking at Victorian Street Food on this website:

We were asked to find out about Jellied Eels, Eel Pie, Baked Sheeps Heart, Tripe and Oysters.

The one thing which stuck out for me was the tripe, because my granny always tells us the story of how her mother-in-law gave her tripe for tea and it was absolutely disgusting. I can't say any of the other items appeal to me either. Tripe is the stomach lining of a farm animal, such as cattle, pigs or sheep. Dressed tripe is when the stomachs are cleaned and the fat trimmed off, It is then boiled and bleached, giving it the white color more commonly associated with tripe as seen on market stalls and in butchers' shops. The task of dressing the tripe is usually carried out by a professional tripe dresser

Jellied Eels consists of chopped eels, boiled in a spiced stock, which is then allowed to cool and set to form a jelly. They are usually served cold.

In Victorian times eels were not only cheap and nutritious, but also easily sourced. They were very common in the rivers of London, and became a staple for the poor. Eel pie started out being sold on the streets, by a pieman, and later transitioned into pie shops. The traditional eel pie consisted of lengths of eel, which was layed out on a bed of parsley, in a pie crust. They were popularly sold with mashed potato and a green 'gravy' which was made from the liquid result of making the eel pie filling.

Oysters were, again, popular with the working class and poor people due to being cheaper then beef and being easily sourced. Pickled oysters were very popular, along with oyster pie.

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We were asked to think about other unusual Street Food from around the world, and I took a look at this link for inspiration:

There were some extremely weird 'Street Food' options listed, like Guinea Pigs, from Peru, which they call Cuy. It, supposedly, takes like Duck, which I like, so I think I would be willing to give it a try... it helps that I don't have a pet Guinea Pig!

The 'Street Food' option I most liked the sound of was Khanom Krok, from Thailand. It is a coconut and rice pancake concoction. Seeing as I love pancakes and coconut, I really think I would enjoy trying that.

Most people like sushi, but I think that would be my food hell... I really don't like fish, and the though of eating raw fish is not enticing. For dessert, it would definitely be the Banana Cue, from Indonesia. This is deep fried banana on a stick and sounds disgusting.

Two things which stuck out for me on here, which I would consider in my pie design were number 21, Biltong from South Africa, which I have tried in the past and liked. I think it would be effective if used to stick out of the pie top, to create a look or fingers, for example, reaching out. The other choice to go in a pie would be the 'Currywurst', from Germany. This is sausages in a curry spices, with ketchup. Again, they could be made to look like fingers coming out of the pie top.

I think, our choices of what we find acceptable as edible do depend on where we come from, our Nationality, to a certain extent. Some countries eat would consider things we eat in the UK as strange. If we lived in Papua New Guinea, we would be happy with 'Human Pies'

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Here is a 'top ten' of street food markets, which includes farmers markets. These mainly sell fresh produce and locally made produce such as breads and cakes, chutneys and jams.

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Here is another story of 'humans in food'. This is a trailer for the movie Soylent Green, directed by Richard Fleischer:

In the dystopian movie, which is loosely based on the 1966 science-fiction novel, Make Room! Make Room! by Harry Harrison, the company that make food wafers for the poor start to create a new type of wafer, called Soylent Green. Detective Robert Thorn is tasked to investigate the death of a board member of the Soylent Corporation and in the process he discovers that the Soylent Green wafers are derived from human flesh, not from the Plankton the company had said they were made of.

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Snowpiercer, is a post-apocalyptic dystopian, thriller movie from 2013, which was directed by Bong Joon Ho. The movie is based on the French climate fiction graphic novel called Le Transperceneige, written by Jaques Lob, Benjamin Legrand and Jean-Marc Rochette. Set in the year 2031 after a failed attempt at stopping climate chage has resulted in an ice age. In the movie the Snowpiercer is a train, with the poor cramped in the end 'tail compartments'. The 'tail' passengers lead a revolt against the elite at the front of the train. In the story, the poor are given protein bars which consist of ground up cockroaches. It is actually a very interesting one, as food manufacturers have just started adding ground up insects, such as crickets, to food in real life.

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The French delicacy being eaten to death.

This story is about the tiny migratory songbird, called the Orlotan Bunting, which are being hunted to extinction because they are seen as a delicacy food. They are captured, put in cages to fatten up and then drowned in Armagnac, which is an alcohol. They are then plucked, cooked and eaten whole. Every part, except the beak is eaten.

Ritualistically, diners eat the bird feet first in one mouthful with napkins over their heads. Some say the napkin captures the steaming aromas to enhance the gastronomic experience; others contend it hides the act from the eyes of God. It seems very much like a fad for the Elite. People think it is fashionable and don't think about the consequences of their actions.

It is possible the hunting, and subsequent eating, of these endangered birds may soon be banned.

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Strange food in Star Wars movies.

Mos Espa marketplace | Wookieepedia | Fandom

I am a big fan of Star Wars and there was some pretty strange looking food in the movies. The Mos Espa marketplace was one particular, located in the spaceport of the planet Tatooine. It had various types of stalls including those selling fruits, meat and drinks. Names such as Gragra's Gorgmonger Booth, where Jar Jar Binks purchases a Gorg and spits it out into the soup belonging to a Dug. Also, Jira's Fruit Stall, a street cafe: https://starwars.fandom.com/wiki/Akim%27s_Munch/Legends The cafe had a bad reputation for selling undercooked and stringy food.

Human's are also eaten in Star Wars. For example, in Star Wars Episode VI Jabba sends the band of Rebels to the desert to be eaten by the sand dwelling people, the Sarlacc, who would eat and digest them over a thousand years. Luckily they escape.

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The Troll Market in Hell Boy II

For Hellboy II, a set for the Troll Market was created, in an old Hungarian mine cave. Artists were asked to design creatures to be vendors at the market, such as the limb vendor and cat vendor, without the traditional 'movie style' monsters, but using old cave drawings and Arabian tales.

Here are my choice of three of the characters which stood out to me:

This was the first, and strangest I think, creature I chose. It is a creature playing a human bagpipe. This is a sitting creature in an animatronic suit. They have a weird looking snout and the human bagpipes are rested on their very large, exposed stomach. I envisaged the music as enticing the clientele to purchase their wares.

The second creature which caught my eye, and had a very 'Sweeney Todd' style to it, was this one, the Barber Troll:

The barber troll is dubbed 'The Cronie' and is shaving another, more humanoid character, which actually has a baby growing out of it's chest. The actual barber troll looks a lot like a dragon crossed between a troll. The creature is a full size suit, which is worn, but has a fully-mechanised animatronic head and arm extensions.

The third creature, I chose purely because they appealed to me. I liked them and they reminded me of Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy and their face looks a bit like an owl.

This is Cathedralhead, who is a humanoid. The design originated as a sketch, which was then developed into a Maquette, or small scale mode. The idea was a mix of various artists ideas and it's lower face is made to look like old stone. The designers used Spectral Motion make-up and the actor then wore a suit with a head extension and radio-controlled animatronic eyes.

I think this would definitely draw the crowds to the stall if this character was the vendor!

I watched this clip, which I found really useful, it was interesting to see how the creatures I had chosen moved, and what they sounded like: youtube.com/watch?v=rOS1Wi1wvjg

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We were asked to look at the work of Guillermo del Toro, an artist who has worked on many movies including; Hellboy, The Devil's Backbone and Blade II. Here is a link to view his amazing work:

Guillermo del Toro's Cabinet of Curiosities (wordpress.com)

This sketch was from the design process for Blade II in his notebook.

According to Del Toro, 'The pages chart the evolution of the Reapers from their earliest incarnation'. The designs here are very good and I feel as though Guillermo Del Toro really put a lot of effort and love into them, I'm sure the final result was even better.

The pages I have chosen are a bit like a story board, in that they provide notes as well as sketches on his designs. Del Toro mentions that, through his sketching and notes his designs were able to develop.

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Here is a great Super Sculpey design, from Pintrest:

Super Sculpey man eating plant (wip) | Man eating plant, Eating plant, Food (pinterest.co.uk)

I really like the plant, it is very well made and I would love to see the finished piece. I think the artist did a really good job of making the leaves look delicate and I really liked the tendrils, wrapped around the plant's arm type section.

[crows-in-sevens]

there once was a baker, who sold cookies and cakes

who made a good profit off the treats that she bakes

and every weekday, without fail, and the weekends as well,

she’d count up the money from the goods that did sell

but one day she realised, horrified, mad,

that one of her cookies she’d sold had gone bad,

three weeks ago and she’d forgotten to bin it

and now some poor customer will have a poor stomach

‘oh no!’, she cried, ‘it’s the rude one, bad luck!’

and she knew that she’d have to call the customer back

so she tightened her jaw, silenced her inner turmoil,

but she didn’t know that her plan would soon be foiled…

the customer was gone! ‘oh, where could they be?

i must find them, apologise for the stale cookie!’

so she hunted around and she looked for some clues,

she asked those in town and learned all that they knew.

‘that man’, they all said, ‘went to go visit his nan,

but she lives ‘cross the woods where a wolf runs the land,

and this greedy old wolf, i think, have a hunch,

he took this poor man and he ate him for lunch!’

‘oh no!’ said the baker. ‘how terrible, how sad!’

but she wasn’t thinking of the now-eaten man,

she was thinking of that wolf who would now feel funny

with that old stale cookie going ‘round in his tummy!

‘i’ve got to go find him!’ she said, ‘understand,

i’ve got to go tell him to spit out that man!’

and so off she went to the forest at night,

in search of the wolf who ate a man in a bite!

she soon did discover where this wolf lived,

but in order to enter she must bring a gift.

she thought and she thought, and in the end she decided,

to bring a fresh pie at which others delighted.

the wolf crept towards her, about to chow her down,

but oh! an aroma from the bag she’d set down.

he opened it up, enticed by the smell,

and ate it all up, asked for seconds, as well!

so pleased at the gift, he was, so he spit

the man and the cookie from his giant stomach

the baker sighed in relief, the man rubbed his head

and the wolf, too, was happy, because he was well-fed.

the man then got up and said sorry to the cook,

‘i know i was rude to you before, but look,

nothing good comes out of holding petty grudges,

i’ll be better now, or my name’s not tim rogers!’

and the wolf said, ‘what is this delicious meal?

humans taste bland when compared to this meal!

the baker smiled and said, ‘that’s my own special secret,

but come to the bakery and you can have more of it!’

and the baker went home to her house ‘bove the shop,

knowing the wolf nearby would soon stop

to buy another pie, and a cupcake or two,

and the man’s now a regular at the bakery too!

and once he gave a slice to his dear old nan,

she, too, fell in love with those cookies and jams,

she hobbles through the dark woods, with no fear or pain

and if she finds the wolf, he joins on the way.

and now they all live on in harmony forever,

the wolf eats no people, he’s found something better.

the man is not rude anymore, leaves big tips,

and the baker? well, she smiles counting up her profits!

[dairedara]

Ancestor Work - My Grandmother

I was probably closer to my paternal grandmother than most people are, and I am immensely thankful for that. She did, practically, raise me. My Nana, as I called her, took care of me and my brother the grand majority of the time, because my parents were both working. My dad went through a lot of health issues in my youth and was often a state away, my mom worked in a very demanding field (healthcare). My grandfather (Pop-pop) passed away before I was born, though sometimes I feel like I really did know him in life, because we have VHS tapes of him at Christmastime, opening my older brother’s gifts with the knife he kept in his boot. My mother and father say I am a lot like him, because I eat one thing at a time, sneeze loudly, and dress in work jeans and flannel shirts most of the time. When he died, my Nana moved in with us.

She had an irreplaceable presence in our home that still lingers after her death. My dad built an addition onto the house for her, and every time I walk into that room I can see her sitting in her armchair and watching M*A*S*H, making cookies with me and showing me how to make a two-ingredient powdered sugar icing. Recently, we dug out some old 8mm tapes that my Pop-Pop filmed. Their family reunions, where he felt more at home than he did with his own strict mother and quiet father. Their trips across the country, my Nana at twenty-three in the most gorgeous black swimsuit. My father and his siblings when they were little, Pop-Pop with a cigarette hanging from his lip and showing them how to gut a deer.

My Nana, I noticed, had a little grey streak in her dark hair. I had only known her when it was all snow-white, so I had never noticed it before. My Mom and Dad told me the story. She was in a car accident, hit by a speeding driver who was late to a party, of all things. It cracked her skull. She was pregnant at the time, and very late in the term. She miscarried. But my Dad (who’s the youngest sibling) said she always told him: *I’m not sad, because if not for that, I would never have had you.*

She was the most incredibly strong woman. Pop-Pop worked away from home most of the time; not only did she raise three children basically on her own, but she also worked and managed the house at the same time. I was thinking of her, today, because I had a class in the building of my university where she worked as a bookkeeper. When she went to the bank, or looked to buy a house, she was always told to come back with her husband. She always stood up for herself, telling them they’d deal with her or not at all. Her strength, I imagine, came from her childhood. She was a farm girl in the great depression, born in the house with only a midwife. She hauled ice from the pond in the winter, fed the chickens, rode the horses.

Her best friend was a woman who never got married and lived in a pretty house downtown. She was her boss at work. My parents gave me her name as a middle name, because she was so close to them. She left me a box of her childhood toys. I always wonder if she was queer, like me.

I do know that there was a pair of women who lived on my grandmother’s street. They lived together, in the same house, never married. Just friends, so my parents say. They sewed my dad little suits to wear for his elementary school picture days. My Nana loved them. She was not alive for me to be able to tell her that I’m gay, and I’ve always wondered what she would have thought. Those two women cemented the fact in my mind that she not only would have loved me anyway, but she would have accepted me. Every time I light a candle for her, I feel her love and her pride.

I made a strawberry rhubarb pie for me this summer. She never had the time to make the crust herself, but I did, and I made the best damn pastry I ever have. It was just like hers, my dad said, perfectly tart. I want to devote more time to cooking and baking this year to honor her.

[punprincess321]

I posted 707 times in 2022

That's 168 more posts than 2021!

142 posts created (20%)

565 posts reblogged (80%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mulberrycafe

@miss-fantazmagoria

@batghostgirlfan

@flea-bee-rhymes

@sungword

I tagged 158 of my posts in 2022

#overwatch - 101 posts

#cole cassidy - 100 posts

#overwatch shitposts - 92 posts

#hanzo shimada - 59 posts

#yeehan - 42 posts

#cassidy x hanzo - 34 posts

#hanzo x cassidy - 34 posts

#hainoon - 32 posts

#genji shimada - 27 posts

#gabriel reyes - 22 posts

Longest Tag: 70 characters

#i heard baby goats are called kids so that’s why cole called them kids

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Cassidy's little "Accident"

So a new interaction has been found between Cole and Sombra, specifically having to do with Cole's most recent google search to deal with a medical emergency. What was the search? "Cactus spines in butt, how get rid of?" Now twitter has a few theories to how this incident came to be.

Cole tripped and fell or accidentally combat rolled into a patch of cacti during a fight.

Same as the first one but there was no fight.

Cole had the mindset of "Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough."

Whichever it was, Cole probably will find a way to shut Sombra up one way or another.

264 notes - Posted April 28, 2022

#4

YEEHAN IS CANON! HANZO HAS OFFICIALLY CALLED CASSIDY HOT!

314 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

#3

New Junkrat look! He has more hair! He's clean! He's looking so healthy! I'm proud of him!

495 notes - Posted June 21, 2022

#2

Gabe: Everyday I get reminded how Cole is no longer a child...

Jack: what do you mean?

Gabe: He was making something called a "valentines cream pie" in the kitchen, he asked me to record it for him and the whole time he was baking the dirty jokes just kept pouring out of his mouth... *pulls out his phone*

Jack: He's definitely not the embarrassed teen we took in...

549 notes - Posted April 11, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

NEW OW2 LORE BITS!

Cole has asked Torbjorn for a Robo horse before

Hanzo is unsure whether or not Sojiro was proud of him

Gabe still keeps tabs on his ex-wife

Fareeha really wants Ana to come home

Zenyatta can breathe (?)

Zenyatta wants to try and help Hanzo heal

Reinhardt is happy Jack and Ana are alive

Junkrat has a prosthetic finger

Jack is trying to talk Sigma and Gabe out of Talon

Cole thinks Hanzo isn't wearing shoes???

Hanzo wants to ride on Orisa

Lucio and Baptiste like Hanzo's hair

Hanzo used to write poetry

Genji felt like he was always in Hanzo's shadow

Hanzo had it rough being the oldest

Hanzo wanted him and Genji to be equals

Genji wants to help Hanzo heal

Sigma is ADD

Hanzo was apparently a BEAST with a sword

Baptiste wants Hanzo's bow

Gabe is still bullying Cole (He said cole has no friends)

Junkrat wants to write a novel

Cole wants to do target practice with Ana

Angela fed sojourns dog table scraps

That's all of the more interesting tidbits I heard from the voicelines people posted on twitter, I'll keep an eye out for others!

1,615 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

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