#bae joohyun angst

[keehomania]

save me (구해줘) - bae joohyun (배주현)

✧.* WC: 54.7K

✧.* SYN: you didn’t know how you ended up in the situation you found yourself in, you didn’t know when you had started loving as hard as you did, nor when she had started hating just as hard. maybe it wasn’t hate, but it wasn’t love. maybe if you were a boy, it would’ve been love.

✧.* 18+

in the quiet moments of life, when the world seemed to blur at the edges and the noise of everyday chaos faded into a distant hum, there was a time when having that one true friend felt like the most profound of blessings. it was as if the universe had conspired to place a beacon of light in the path of your journey, a steadfast flame that illuminated even the darkest of nights. not just a companion, but a reflection of the truest parts of oneself—someone who understood the unspoken language of your soul.

in her presence, there was no need for pretense. the masks worn for the world were cast aside, revealing the raw, unfiltered essence of who you were. she saw you not as a collection of faults and frailties, but as a masterpiece in progress, a soul worthy of love and respect. the beauty of her companionship lay in its unwavering reliability. no matter the storm, no matter the upheaval, she stood by you—a pillar of strength when yours faltered, a reservoir of calm when your heart was in turmoil.

together, you shared the subtle joys of life—the quiet satisfaction of a shared silence, the comfort of knowing glances, the unspoken understanding that words could never fully encapsulate. with her, even the simplest moments took on a golden hue: a walk through a park became an exploration of the world’s wonders, a shared meal transformed into a sacred ritual, and laughter—oh, the laughter!—was a melody that lingered long after the echoes had faded.

in her presence, you found the courage to dream and the strength to pursue those dreams. she believed in you when you struggled to believe in yourself, offering a hand to lift you up, a shoulder to lean on, and a heart that beat in sync with yours. her friendship was not just a connection, but a lifeline—a reminder that even in the vast expanse of existence, you were never truly alone.

looking back, the memory of that friendship was like a warm embrace, a cherished relic of a time when life’s complexities were softened by the simplicity of true companionship. it was a time when you knew, with absolute certainty, that no matter what the future held, you had been blessed to experience the beauty of having a friend—a true friend—by your side.

joohyun had always been your anchor in the storm, the quiet, composed presence that kept you tethered when life felt like it was pulling you in every direction at once. even as children, when your world revolved around scraped knees and backyard adventures, joohyun was the one who kept you grounded. she was the kind of girl who never lost her cool, who knew exactly what she wanted and never wavered in her pursuit of it. you admired her for that.

she was the opposite of you in so many ways. where she was serious and composed, you were carefree, often impulsive. you leapt before you looked, chasing after whatever caught your eye without a second thought. and yet, despite your differences, she never made you feel small or foolish. if anything, she seemed to find your antics amusing, a quiet smile playing on her lips whenever you dragged her into yet another one of your wild schemes. you liked her just the way she was—quiet, steady, always a little bit mysterious. and she didn’t mind you either. you were her sunshine in the rain, a burst of light in her more subdued world.

she was there for you in every sense of the word. when you fell as a child, bruising your knees on the pavement, she would scold you for being careless even as she carefully cleaned your wounds, her touch gentle and sure. it was a ritual between the two of you—your recklessness, her quiet care. she was the one who eased you through the tumultuous years of puberty, when your body and mind seemed at war with each other. she never judged you for the confusion, the frustration that bubbled over in those moments when you didn’t quite know who you were. instead, she listened, her calm presence a balm to your troubled thoughts.

when you came out, stumbling over your words as you tried to explain something you barely understood yourself, she was the one who made it simple. “you’re no different from me,” she had said, her voice steady, her eyes warm with understanding. “we breathe, we eat, we live. why would you be ashamed of your heart?” in that moment, you had never felt more seen, more accepted. it was as though she had lifted a weight from your shoulders, giving you the courage to embrace who you were without fear.

joohyun was always there for you, a constant in a world that was anything but. and even when life took you to the other side of the world, to the states for work, that bond remained unbroken. the physical distance never seemed to matter. you were used to calling her at odd hours, checking in to make sure she was eating properly, that she was taking care of herself. it was a habit born of years of friendship, one that neither of you ever questioned.

but this time, it was different. you were in the middle of a meeting, your mind focused on the endless stream of tasks that came with your job, when your phone buzzed with an incoming call. you didn’t even need to look at the screen to know it was joohyun. she knew your schedule by heart, knew when you were busy and when you were free. that she was calling now, in the middle of your workday, meant something was wrong.

her words, when you answered, were stark, devoid of the usual warmth that colored her voice. “my mother died,” she said, the words falling like stones into the silence between you. there was a pause, a breath where you struggled to process the enormity of what she had just told you. and then, in that same flat tone, she added, “there was a fire.”

the details came in disjointed fragments, each more harrowing than the last. her mother had been alone in the house, a house that joohyun had worked so hard to make a home. she had left the stove on, a simple mistake, and fallen asleep. by the time joohyun returned, there was nothing left. the fire had taken everything, reducing the place she had grown up in, the place where she had cared for her mother, to ashes.

the first thing she did was call you. she didn’t ask you to come, didn’t plead for your help, because she didn’t have to. she knew, with the same certainty that had defined your friendship for all these years, that you would come. you always did when it was for her.

and so, you booked the first flight back to korea, your heart heavy with the knowledge that this time, it was your turn to be her anchor, to be the steady presence that she had always been for you. as the plane took off, you stared out the window, watching the world below grow smaller and smaller, and thought of joohyun, alone in the aftermath of her loss.

you had been apart for so long, each of you building your lives on opposite sides of the world, but none of that mattered now. what mattered was that she needed you, just as you had needed her so many times before. the memory of her voice, so calm and composed even in the face of tragedy, echoed in your mind. you knew that when you saw her, she would still be that same joohyun—serious, composed, always in control. but you also knew that beneath that facade, she was hurting in a way she had never hurt before.

and you would be there for her, just as she had always been there for you. you would stand by her side, through the grief and the pain, through the long nights and the endless days. because that was what friendship meant—being there, no matter what, no matter how much time had passed or how far apart you had been. you would be her sunshine in the rain, once more.

the plane jolted as it touched down, pulling you abruptly from the cascade of thoughts that had been swirling in your mind. you couldn’t quite grasp the exact contents of those thoughts—they were a tangled web of worry, hope, and anticipation—but you knew they all revolved around her. joohyun. how you could help her, what the first step would be, how you would even begin to approach her after six long years apart. the thoughts clung to you like a persistent mist, following you even as you gathered your luggage, your senses taking in the familiar sights and sounds of korea. the country’s beauty was as unyielding as ever, its landscapes and cityscapes a comforting reminder of home.

but then, you saw her. she was standing near the arrival gate, her presence immediately recognizable even from a distance. you noticed her long before she spotted you, and in that instant, all those tangled thoughts seemed to evaporate, replaced by a single, clear realization: korea wasn’t the only thing that had remained beautiful. joohyun had changed in the years you had been apart, yet she was still the same in so many ways.

she had grown taller, taller than you at least, and the once slight frame of the teenager you had known had matured into that of a woman. her black hair framed her face in a way that accentuated her features, and though her expression was as composed and unreadable as ever, you knew she was hurting. even so, when she finally noticed you, her eyes betrayed her, lighting up for just a fraction of a second. a smile, small and fleeting, touched her lips, but she quickly tucked it away, maintaining the calm composure she was known for. she slipped her hands into her pockets and turned toward you with a measured nod, a subtle acknowledgment of your presence.

you didn’t hesitate. how could you? the handle of your suitcase slipped from your grasp, forgotten as you broke into a run. you closed the distance between you in a heartbeat, your heart pounding in your chest, not from exertion but from the overwhelming emotion that surged through you. the moment you reached her, you threw your arms around her, rising onto your toes to bury your face in the familiar curve of her neck. for a heartbeat, she seemed frozen in place, her body stiff against yours. how long had it been? six years since you last saw her, standing in this very airport, waving goodbye as you left for the states. you had changed—grown taller, perhaps prettier—but as you held her, it was clear that some things hadn’t changed at all.

you hugged her just as you always had, with all the intensity of someone who had been holding on to their memories for far too long. and then, slowly, she hugged you back. her arms wrapped around you in that same calm, steady way, and you could feel her relax into the embrace, allowing herself to absorb the warmth she had been without for so many years.

when you finally pulled back, your face broke into a broad smile. “i missed you so much,” you whispered, the words tumbling out with all the pent-up emotion you had carried across oceans and time zones. she scoffed softly, her eyes flicking to yours, and you saw the faint blur of tears in your vision. “i can’t believe you’re crying,” she said, her voice light but with an undertone that spoke of something deeper. she paused, and in that moment, there was a tenderness in her gaze that you rarely saw. “you haven’t changed at all.”

her words tugged at something in your heart, a mix of warmth and a sadness that threatened to spill over. but she held it together, even as the sight of your tears seemed to break something inside her. you shook your head and wiped your eyes with a small, resigned sigh. “you’re so cold,” you joked, your voice a little unsteady but filled with affection. “you haven’t changed either.”

a small smile curved her lips, a smile that was all the more precious because it was so rare. without another word, you both turned to retrieve your suitcase from where it had fallen, and as you walked back together, side by side, you felt the weight of all those years apart begin to lift. there was still so much to say, so much to do, but for now, it was enough to be here with her. just like old times.

the drive through the familiar streets of korea felt like stepping back into a dream you had almost forgotten. the air was thick with the scent of home, a mixture of city life and something more intangible, something that spoke of all the memories you had left behind. you leaned out the window, letting the breeze play with your hair, your eyes drinking in the sights you hadn’t seen in years. everything felt the same, yet different—like revisiting a childhood haunt and realizing you’re not the same person who once walked those streets.

your thoughts drifted, slipping into the past, to all the moments you and joohyun had shared in this very city. the streets were filled with ghosts of your younger selves, echoes of laughter, of late-night talks, of dreams spoken in hushed voices. you were so lost in the haze of nostalgia that you barely noticed when the window began to close, the glass rising slowly until it was halfway shut. the abruptness startled you, and you whipped your head around to see joohyun, her fingers still on the button, a smirk playing at the corner of her lips.

“a warning would be nice next time,” you scowled, half-serious, half-amused.

she chuckled, the sound low and soft, a quiet expression of the emotions she kept tightly guarded. you could see it in her eyes, in the way her shoulders seemed lighter than they had been in the airport. despite everything she had lost, despite the crushing weight of her grief, she was happy to have you back, more than words could ever express. and perhaps that was why she didn’t say anything at all, letting the silence between you speak for her.

as the car continued its journey through the city, you leaned back against the seat, turning to face her. “you must be going through a lot,” you said gently, the words careful, cautious. you didn’t want to break her, but you couldn’t ignore the pain you knew she was holding inside. you watched as her face, momentarily softened by your presence, grew distant once more, a shadow passing over her features. “i’m sorry i wasn’t there,” you added, the apology hanging in the air between you like an unanswered question.

she shrugged, her gaze fixed on the road ahead, her expression unreadable. “not your fault,” she replied, her voice steady but detached. “you had work.” you frowned, knowing she was trying to shield you from the guilt, trying to make it easier for you to accept that life had pulled you away when she needed you most. but it didn’t lessen the ache in your chest, the regret that gnawed at you. “everything’s gone, isn’t it?” you asked, the words slipping out before you could stop them.

“the house is gone,” she answered, her voice dropping to a cold, emotionless tone that sent a shiver down your spine. her face hardened, her jaw tightening as she paused, a bitter smile flickering and dying as quickly as it had appeared. “but i’m not sure about everything else.”

a sprinkle of hope sparked within you, a fragile, flickering flame that there might be something left—something worth salvaging from the wreckage. “let’s go to your place first,” you suggested, your voice infused with a determination you hoped would give her strength. then, more gently, you added, “you’ll stay with me until we find you a new place.”

she nodded, her eyes still glued to the road, her hands gripping the steering wheel a little tighter. you knew this was a heartbreaking experience for her, more than you could ever truly understand. the loss of her mother, the destruction of her home—it was a devastation that would take years to heal, if it ever did. but selfishly, you couldn’t help wanting her close, wanting to keep her with you for as long as possible. perhaps it was your own fear, your own need to hold onto the one person who had always been your anchor.

the moment you reached the house, or rather, the charred remains of what once had been a home, joohyun’s face remained a mask of unreadable calm. but as you caught a glimpse of the scene in the rearview mirror, your own composure shattered. the sight of the blackened skeleton that was once her house, her sanctuary, hit you like a physical blow. a gasp escaped your lips as you fumbled with the door handle, stumbling out of the car before joohyun had even unbuckled her seatbelt. you rushed toward the yard, your breath hitching as you took in the devastation.

it was all gone. the house, the memories, the warmth that had once filled this place—it had all truly burned down. the structure was a ruin, a husk of twisted metal and ash, standing like a ghost in the pale light of the day. you felt a deep, aching sense of loss as you recalled the times you had spent here with joohyun and her mother. you remembered the afternoons spent sharing homemade cookies, the evenings where laughter filled the air, and even the night you shared your first sip of alcohol under the watchful, yet understanding eyes of her mother. these were moments that had seemed eternal at the time, woven into the fabric of this place. but now, they had vanished as if they had never been, reduced to nothing more than smoke and ash.

you didn’t even notice joohyun’s presence behind you until her voice broke through the heavy silence. “it’s a mess, isn’t it?” she said, her tone flat, almost detached.

you nodded weakly, amazed at the way she managed to hold herself together. she stood beside you, her gaze sweeping over the ruins with a cold, steady look, as if she had already accepted the loss, as if the sight of it didn’t break her heart anew. you both walked into the scattered remains, your steps cautious, as if you were treading through sacred ground. the once vibrant garden was now nothing but a patch of dirt, the flowers and grass scorched away, leaving behind a barren wasteland. the house, where her mother had once bustled about, was reduced to a skeleton of beams and charred wood. it was hard to tell where anything had been, where her mother had spent her last moments, because everything was gone, indistinguishable from the rest of the debris.

you took it all in, every agonizing detail, trying to grasp the magnitude of the loss, until joohyun’s voice cut through your thoughts. “holy shit,” she muttered, her voice tight with disbelief.

you turned to see her standing in the far corner of what had once been the living room, her frame bent over something small and dark against the ash-covered ground. your heart clenched as you rushed over, dread twisting in your gut. “what happened?” you asked, your voice laced with concern. but as you reached her, you didn’t need an answer. the sight before you told the story in heart-wrenching clarity.

there, half-buried in the soot and debris, were the melted remains of piano keys. they were barely recognizable, twisted and warped beyond repair, but you knew exactly what they were. they had once been part of a beautiful piano, a gift from her mother, a lifeline for joohyun. it was the one thing that had always grounded her, the thing that had held her together when everything else was falling apart. now, it too was destroyed, reduced to a pitiful pile of warped plastic and charred wood.

“you’ve gotta be kidding,” she scoffed, her voice bitter, filled with a frustration that bordered on anger. she stood up suddenly, her face twisted with emotion, and with a sharp kick, she sent the remains of the keys scattering across the ground. the act was one of raw, unfiltered rage, a moment where the grief she had been holding back finally broke through the surface.

you watched her, helpless, feeling the weight of her pain settle heavily in your chest. “i’m sorry,” you murmured, your voice trembling, but you knew the words were inadequate. they could do nothing to bring back what had been lost. joohyun didn’t respond, her expression blank as she turned away from the wreckage and made her way back to the car. you stood there for a moment longer, staring at the scattered keys, the last remnants of something that had once brought her so much joy. there was nothing left for you to do here, nothing to salvage from the ashes. with a heavy heart, you turned and followed her, the weight of her grief pressing down on you like a physical thing.

the drive back home was steeped in silence, a quiet so profound that it felt almost sacred. you had insisted on taking over the wheel, and joohyun hadn’t argued. she simply nodded, slipping into the passenger seat with an almost mechanical grace, her body sagging against the window. you glanced at her from time to time as you drove, the road ahead a blur of gray asphalt and muted city lights. her eyes were distant, lost somewhere deep within herself, her thoughts wrapped tightly around the remnants of the life she had just left behind.

you wanted to say something, anything, to ease the tension, to pull her back from whatever dark place she had retreated to. but the words felt clumsy and inadequate in your mouth. still, you couldn’t stand the silence, so you spoke softly, hoping your voice might reach her. “don’t worry too much about it,” you murmured, your eyes fixed on the road ahead.

she didn’t respond, her gaze remaining fixed on the passing scenery outside the window, her reflection barely visible in the glass. you bit your lip, realizing that your attempt to comfort her had fallen flat. maybe she wasn’t ready to talk, maybe she just needed this silence to process everything. so, you let it be, sinking into your own thoughts, the quiet stretching between you like a fragile thread.

when you finally arrived at your house, the familiarity of it brought a wave of unexpected comfort. it was as if no time had passed at all—the same wooden porch, the same door with the paint slightly chipped at the edges, the same sense of home that had always been there. you hadn’t put the place up for rent or sale, too sentimental to let go of the memories embedded in its walls. the house had always been a repository of your past, a place where you had tucked away moments too precious to be shared with the world. it seemed you were more sentimental than joohyun, who had always moved forward with a quiet, determined resolve, leaving the past where it belonged.

she took your suitcase from the trunk as you fumbled with your keys, her movements steady and purposeful despite the exhaustion you knew she must have been feeling. when you finally unlocked the door and stepped inside, the smell hit you first—a mix of wood, dust, and something uniquely yours. it was the smell of home, unchanged by the years. the interior was the same too, a snapshot frozen in time, as if the house itself had been waiting for your return.

joohyun stepped inside and paused, her eyes sweeping over the familiar surroundings. she took a deep breath, her shoulders rising and falling with the effort, and you could see a small measure of the tension drain from her. “make yourself at home,” you said softly, watching as she nodded in response, her eyes still distant but a little less haunted.

she walked over to the couch and planted herself on it, her movements slow, almost lethargic. you stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do, before you saw her reach into her pocket and pull out a small box. she fumbled with it, drawing out a cigarette and placing it between her lips. her eyes flickered up to meet yours, a silent question lingering in the air between you. “can i smoke inside?” she asked, her voice flat, almost dispassionate.

you nodded with a small smile, understanding the need behind the request. joohyun had always been a smoker, though only in times of stress, when the world seemed too heavy to bear on her own. you had never liked the taste of cigarettes, the acrid smell that clung to the air, but you understood that this was her way of coping, of finding a moment’s peace amidst the chaos.

she fumbled with the cigarette for a moment longer before muttering a soft, “shit,” her frustration evident in the way her shoulders tensed. she turned to you again, her expression a mix of exasperation and helplessness. “do you have a lighter by any chance?”

you thought about it for a second, recalling the small collection you had accumulated over the years. you weren’t a smoker yourself, but you had always kept lighters around, just for her. joohyun had a habit of half-assing her smoking, never bothering to carry a lighter with her. it had become something of a ritual for you, collecting lighters and storing them in a bowl on the counter, ready for whenever she might need one.

without a word, you walked over to the counter and pulled out a white lighter from the bowl. but before you handed it to her, an idea struck you. You reached into a drawer, pulling out a marker, and carefully wrote her initials—J.H.—on the side of the lighter. it was a small gesture, but one filled with meaning, a way of telling her that you were thinking of her, that you would always be there to support her, even in the smallest of ways.

you handed her the lighter with a grin, your eyes warm as you said, “there you go,” pausing before adding with a playful smile, “now you have your own lighter.”

she took it quietly, her fingers brushing against yours as she accepted the small gift. her face remained unreadable, but there was a softness in her eyes, a flicker of emotion that she didn’t bother to hide. a small, almost imperceptible smile tugged at the corners of her lips, and though she didn’t say anything, that smile said enough.

as you settled into your room, the familiar routine of unpacking your suitcase offered a strange comfort, a sense of returning to something long forgotten yet deeply cherished. you laid out your clothes carefully, smoothing out the wrinkles with your hands as you arranged them on the bed. each garment held a memory, a fragment of the past that you couldn’t help but savor. the room was bathed in the soft, golden light of the late afternoon, the shadows stretching across the walls in long, gentle strokes. you took your time, enjoying the simple act of putting your life back in order after the chaos of travel.

your makeup followed suit, each item placed with precision on the dresser. you smiled to yourself as you laid out the small tubes of lipstick, the compacts of blush, the brushes and powders. the thought of sharing these things with joohyun filled you with a nostalgic warmth. it was just like when you were younger, when you would sit cross-legged on the floor of your old room, giggling as you applied cheap makeup to each other’s faces, or swapped clothes in a flurry of fabric before heading out. nothing had changed, it seemed, despite the years that had stretched between then and now.

you glanced over at the clothes you had neatly stacked on the bed. some were from your suitcase, others you had pulled from your closet. they were a mix of styles, colors, and textures, each piece carefully chosen with joohyun in mind. you wanted her to feel at home, to feel cared for, to know that you would do anything to ease her burden, even if it was just something as simple as offering her a change of clothes.

you didn’t notice her presence at first—not until the faint, familiar scent of cigarette smoke reached your nose. you turned to see her standing in the doorway, the cigarette poised between her fingers, a thin trail of smoke curling upwards. she looked at you, her expression unreadable, but there was a softness in her eyes that hadn’t been there earlier.

a smile tugged at your lips as you gestured to the clothes on the bed. “i figured you’d need this,” you said, your voice light but filled with meaning. “but we’ll have to go out and buy some more.” you paused, suddenly unsure. “is this okay?”

she nodded, her gaze shifting to the clothes as she approached the bed. she sat down on the edge, her fingers brushing lightly over the fabric, tracing the patterns as if trying to commit them to memory. a dry laugh escaped her lips, a sound that was both bitter and amused. “just like old times,” she murmured, almost to herself. it was as if she had plucked the thought straight from your mind.

you nodded in agreement, the memories flooding back with a bittersweet intensity. “i can get the guest room ready for you in a bit,” you offered, your voice softer now, tinged with a nervous energy you couldn’t quite place.

but she shook her head, catching you off guard. “what? we can share clothes but not a bed?” her tone was teasing, a playful challenge meant to lighten the mood, but it had the opposite effect. your breath caught in your throat, a rush of old, buried feelings surfacing unexpectedly. the thought of sharing a bed with her, of being so close to her again after all this time—it was both thrilling and terrifying.

she seemed to notice the change in your expression, her teasing smile fading into something more serious. “if you’re uncomfortable with it, i’ll sleep in the other room,” she offered, her voice gentle, as if trying to soothe whatever inner turmoil you were suddenly grappling with. you were quick to protest, shaking your head as you rushed to reassure her. “no, it’s fine. it won’t be a problem at all.”

she nodded, accepting your words without question, but there was a hint of something in her eyes—curiosity, perhaps, or maybe just a quiet understanding. she stood up, taking the folded pajamas from the bed before making her way toward the bathroom. the door clicked shut behind her, leaving you alone in the silence of your room, the air heavy with the scent of her cigarette.

you sat down on the bed, your hands trembling slightly as you smoothed out the fabric of the sheets. what was wrong with you? why were you so on edge? this was joohyun, your lifelong friend, the person who had been by your side through everything. sharing a bed with her should have been the most natural thing in the world, just like old times.

but as you sat there, your heart beating a little too fast, you couldn’t shake the feeling that something had changed. maybe it was the passage of time, the years that had slipped by while you were apart. or maybe it was the weight of everything that had happened, the loss and the grief that hung between you like a thick fog. whatever it was, it left you feeling unsettled, your thoughts spiraling in directions you hadn’t expected.

you left your room, the silence of the house pressing in around you, each step muffled by the soft carpet beneath your feet. the air was still, the kind of stillness that held its breath in anticipation, as if waiting for something to break the quiet. you walked toward the kitchen, the thought of preparing something to eat offering a welcome distraction from the strange tension that had settled in your chest.

but as you passed the bathroom, something caught your eye—a sliver of light, the door left slightly ajar. it was a small thing, easily ignored, yet you found yourself pausing. without thinking, you reached out to close it, your hand hovering just above the wood. but before you could move, your gaze drifted through the narrow opening, and what you saw made your breath hitch in your throat.

joohyun was inside, her back to you as she stood by the sink. her pajamas lay folded on the counter, and she was undressing, peeling off her clothes with a slow, deliberate grace that made your heart stutter in your chest. the shirt slipped from her shoulders, revealing the smooth, pale curve of her back, each motion unhurried, almost languid, as if she had all the time in the world. you should have looked away. you knew you should have walked away, closed the door and given her privacy. but you couldn’t move, couldn’t tear your eyes away from the sight of her.

the room seemed to shrink around you, the walls pressing in as your mind raced. this wasn’t the first time you’d seen her like this; you had grown up together, had shared everything from clothes to secrets. you’d bathed together as toddlers, innocent and carefree, unaware of the changes that time would bring. but now, standing there with your heart pounding in your ears, you realized with startling clarity that something had changed.

you forced yourself to turn away, to drag your gaze from her and step back into the hallway. your heart was still racing, a wild, erratic beat that echoed in the silence. “what’s wrong with you?” you whispered to yourself, trying to shake off the feeling that had lodged itself deep in your chest, a mixture of confusion, longing, and something you couldn’t quite name. you felt the tension gathering in your throat, the way your breath came in shallow, uneven bursts. you swallowed hard, trying to push it down, to regain some semblance of control as you made your way to the kitchen.

the kitchen was familiar and comforting in its simplicity. the countertops were just as you remembered, the cabinets filled with the same mismatched dishes you had grown up with. you focused on the task at hand, letting the routine of cooking ground you, offering a distraction from the turmoil that had erupted within you. you set about preparing a meal, the rhythmic motions of chopping and stirring soothing your frayed nerves.

but no matter how hard you tried, the feeling lingered, a ghostly presence that hovered just out of reach, impossible to ignore. your hands moved automatically, muscle memory guiding you as you worked, but your mind was elsewhere, replaying the scene in the bathroom over and over. you could still see her in your mind’s eye, the way her shirt had fallen away, the curve of her spine, the gentle slope of her shoulders.

you were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear her approach until it was too late. her voice cut through the quiet, startling you. “you’re still a mess in the kitchen,” she remarked, a teasing lilt to her tone. “how you managed six years alone is a mystery.” you turned to face her, trying to muster a smile, but she caught the look on your face, her own expression shifting from playful to concerned.

“what’s wrong?” she asked, her eyes narrowing slightly as she studied you. “you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

if only it were that simple, you thought, the words catching in your throat. how could you explain the tangled mess of emotions that had suddenly overwhelmed you? the way your heart had reacted to seeing her, the strange, inexplicable pull you felt toward her? you swallowed hard, forcing a smile that felt more like a grimace.

“i’m just tired,” you lied, your voice too tight, too thin to be convincing. but she didn’t press further, didn’t question you as you turned back to the stove. yet you could feel the weight of her gaze on you, the unspoken words hanging in the air between you.

you focused on the food, on the simple, mundane act of cooking, but your hands betrayed you, trembling slightly as you worked. the knife slipped once, twice, but you caught it each time, cursing under your breath. this wasn’t supposed to happen. you weren’t supposed to feel like this, to be so affected by something so simple, so innocuous. but no matter how hard you tried to push it away, the feeling remained, an undercurrent of tension that refused to dissipate. as you stood there in the kitchen, the scent of the meal you were preparing mingling with the faint trace of her cigarette smoke, you couldn’t help but wonder what this all meant. what had changed between you and joohyun? and why, after all these years, did it feel like something was about to break?

you carefully laid out two plates of spicy fish stew on the living room table, the rich, aromatic scent of the dish filling the room. the stew, vibrant with its red chili paste, was a testament to the fiery flavors that defined so much of the cuisine you cherished. the warm, spicy aroma wafted through the room, mingling with the comforting ambiance of your home. joohyun looked up from her seat on the couch, her eyes brightening as she took in the meal you had prepared. “thank you,” she said with a smile, her voice carrying a hint of genuine appreciation.

you both settled into the comfortable cushions, the familiarity of the living room wrapping around you like an old friend. as you began to dig into the stew, you couldn’t help but comment, “i think koreans have a blood that’s more red than others.” she looked up at you with a puzzled expression. “what do you mean?”

“it’s because of the chili paste,” you explained, chuckling at her confusion. she scoffed, her eyes twinkling with amusement as she watched you. a few moments later, the spicy kick of the stew hit your tongue with a vengeance, making you cough uncontrollably. the heat was intense, the spices dancing on the surface of your tongue. joohyun’s teasing voice cut through your coughing fit. “your blood must’ve paled. the states really got to you, huh?”

you shot her a look, downing your water in a bid to cool the fire that was blazing in your mouth. despite the pain, you found solace in the comforting routine of the meal, the familiar tastes grounding you in a way that was both soothing and unsettling. the meal was undeniably comforting, the taste of home a balm to your frayed nerves. yet, as you washed the plates afterward, a sense of unease lingered in the air. everything felt as it should, yet something was subtly amiss. the house, the food, the company—all were familiar, but the undercurrent of tension remained present, like a shadow lurking just out of sight.

you looked over at joohyun, who was now sprawled on the couch, her gaze fixed on the ceiling. the television played in the background, but she paid it no mind, her fingers absently playing with the lighter. the small flame flickered on and off, casting brief, dancing shadows on her face. concerned, you took a seat beside her, breaking the silence with a soft question. “are you sure you’ll be okay?” she nodded, her gaze still unfocused. “i’m just thinking,” she said quietly. “about her.”

your heart ached at the raw emotion in her voice. “you must miss her, don’t you?” she shrugged, a hint of resignation in her tone. “everybody dies, right? i just wanna know what happens after, where you go when the end comes.”

the question was profound, echoing a sentiment that you had grappled with yourself. the uncertainty of what lay beyond was a question without a definitive answer, only a spectrum of beliefs and hopes. you tried to offer a sliver of optimism, hoping it would bring her some comfort. “if there’s a heaven, she’ll be the first one there.”

joohyun’s eyes met yours, a flicker of sadness mingled with hope in their depths. “i wanna go there, too.”

her words cut through you, a sharp pang of emotion striking deep within. you fought to keep your voice steady, a smile curving your lips despite the ache in your chest. “you will. why wouldn’t you?”

her gaze softened, and for a moment, the weight of her grief seemed to lift just slightly. the two of you sat together in silence, the room filled with the quiet hum of the television and the occasional flicker of the lighter. you wanted to believe that everything would be okay, that there was a place beyond the pain and loss, where those we love could find peace.

your room was bathed in the soft glow of the bedside lamp, casting gentle shadows on the walls that seemed to whisper of the past. the familiar scent of lavender, the same scent you had always kept in the room, lingered in the air, mingling with the faint aroma of the stew you had prepared earlier. everything was exactly as you remembered it—your room, your bed, the slight creak of the wooden floorboards beneath your feet. yet, despite the comforting familiarity, your heart was pounding with an intensity that left you breathless.

you approached the bed with a mix of anticipation and apprehension. joohyun was already settled on her side, claiming the left side of the bed. she had always preferred that side, a small detail that seemed so insignificant yet felt profoundly comforting now. you climbed in carefully, trying to mask the nervous tremor in your movements. the bed was just as you remembered—soft, with a slight dip in the middle where you had spent countless nights, and the same plush pillows that had witnessed many shared conversations and quiet moments.

as you eased yourself into your side of the bed, joohyun turned toward you, a yawn escaping her lips. “i’m so tired,” she murmured, her voice carrying a weary undertone that spoke of the long day she had endured. “fuck.”

you settled into your spot, your head sinking into the pillow. “get some rest,” you said softly. “as long as you want.”

she nodded, her gaze following your movements as you found your place beside her. the silence that fell between you was thick but not uncomfortable. it was a silence filled with the weight of years spent apart, of memories rekindled and emotions left unspoken. you turned to face her, your eyes meeting hers in the dim light. in that silence, everything seemed magnified—the gentle rise and fall of her chest as she breathed, the way the moonlight played on her features, the softness of her hair spread across the pillow. you couldn’t help but watch her, taking in every detail as if memorizing it.

joohyun broke the silence with a quiet, almost hesitant whisper. “i missed you.”

her words were a soft, tender balm to the ache that had settled in your heart. your own heart fluttered at her admission, and a genuine smile spread across your face. “i missed you too.”

a small, wistful smile graced her lips in return, a fleeting moment of warmth that seemed to bridge the gap of the years you had spent apart. then, she closed her eyes, the smile lingering just a moment longer before it faded into the peaceful stillness of sleep. the room was silent except for the soft, rhythmic sound of your breathing and the steady, insistent pounding of your heart. it was a sound that filled your ears, a reminder of the emotion you felt, the connection you cherished. as you lay there, your gaze fixed on the ceiling, you allowed yourself to relax into the bed. despite the pounding of your heart, there was a sense of contentment, of belonging, that wrapped around you like a gentle embrace.

when you woke up, the room was still shrouded in the soft, early morning light. joohyun lay beside you, her form curled comfortably into the pillows, her breathing slow and steady. she looked so serene, her features softened in sleep, and for a moment, you couldn’t take your eyes off her. the stillness of her slumber, the peace etched across her face—it felt like a delicate treasure that you didn’t want to disturb.

quietly, you eased yourself out of bed, taking care not to make a sound. the soft rustling of the sheets was the only noise you allowed yourself as you moved about. you dressed carefully, each motion deliberate and soft, ensuring that nothing would rouse her from her restful state.

once you were ready, you padded softly to the door, feeling a peculiar sense of anticipation. it had been a while since you’d checked the mailbox, and a part of you hoped for something—anything—that might offer a semblance of normalcy. stepping outside, you made your way to the mailbox, your heart quickening with each step.

to your surprise, the mailbox was indeed full. a letter jutted out conspicuously, and you retrieved it with a sense of eagerness. as you opened the envelope, a wave of relief washed over you. it was your paycheck for the month, finally arriving after a delay due to your recent departure. holding it in your hands, you felt a weight lift from your shoulders. it was a tangible reminder that, despite everything, some things remained stable.

the financial strain you had been feeling was momentarily alleviated. you knew you couldn’t spend it recklessly, as you had struggled with in the past. joohyun had always been the one with the knack for smart spending, a skill you had admired and aspired to learn. but now, with this money in hand, a thought struck you—a way to spend it thoughtfully and meaningfully.

you hurried back inside, the letter clutched in your hand, and reached for your phone. your mind raced with the idea you had conceived, driven by the need to act quickly and decisively. you knew exactly what you wanted to do. without hesitation, you began to place an order, your fingers flying over the screen. this was not for you but for joohyun, a gesture of care and support that felt right in the moment.

as you completed the transaction, a sense of satisfaction settled over you. the order would be delivered promptly and securely, a small but significant way to show your support and gratitude for the years of friendship and understanding you had shared. you imagined joohyun’s reaction, the surprise and appreciation that would follow, and it made the effort worth it.

when joohyun woke up, the room was bathed in a soft morning light that filtered through the curtains, casting a gentle glow across the room. you were already in the living room, your movements quiet and careful as you prepared two cups of coffee. the aroma of the freshly brewed coffee filled the space, a comforting and familiar scent that seemed to promise a sense of normalcy amidst the turmoil. you had arranged the cups on the table, and as she emerged from the bedroom, her eyes still heavy with sleep, you handed her one with a warm smile. “good morning,” you said softly. “coffee?”

she accepted the cup with a murmured thank you, but you couldn’t shake the feeling that something was amiss. she appeared distracted, her usual composure replaced by an off-kilter demeanor that seemed out of place. though she had slept in, there was more to her mood than mere tiredness. as she sat down on the couch, her gaze fell upon the lighter you had given her. it was perched on the counter, a small, simple object that now seemed to carry a heavier weight. she reached for it, her fingers absently flicking the flame on and off. the sight of the flame, so small and yet so symbolic, seemed to hold a peculiar significance for her—a reminder of what had been lost.

without thinking, you moved closer and gently blew out the flame. joohyun turned to you with a look of surprise, her eyes widening as she met your gaze. “what?” you asked, attempting to lighten the mood. “so glum this early?”

ahe sighed deeply, the sound a mix of exhaustion and introspection. “i’ve been thinking,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “i don’t know anything. i have no idea who i am.” her words were laden with uncertainty, a contrast to her usually poised demeanor. you understood her struggle without needing any further explanation. how could she possibly find herself after enduring such profound loss, after seeing everything she had disappear in an instant?

“bae joohyun,” you whispered softly, the name slipping from your lips before you could stop it. “you’re bae joohyun.”

joohyun’s gaze met yours, and a small, sad smile crept across her face. “i have no idea who she is anymore,” she said quietly, her voice tinged with resignation.

you placed a reassuring hand over hers, the warmth of her skin surprising you. the gesture was as much for your comfort as for hers, a physical connection that bridged the gap between uncertainty and reassurance. you winced slightly at the warmth, but you forced a gentle smile as you spoke. “you have all the time in the world to figure that out,” you said. “there’s no rush.”

her eyes softened, and she nodded, seemingly comforted by your words. ahe hadn’t even realized that the lighter had slipped from her grasp, falling unnoticed to the floor. the small act of solace seemed to bring a fleeting sense of peace, and for a moment, the weight of her burden felt a little lighter.

you watched joohyun from the corner of your eye as the hours passed, the way she clung to familiar comforts like cigarettes and alcohol, the way her gaze seemed lost in the flicker of the lighter’s flame. the weight of her grief was evident in these small, self-destructive habits, a silent testament to the immense loss she had suffered. it pained you to see her slipping away, losing pieces of herself in the haze of her sorrow.

the sound of the doorbell broke through your thoughts, a sharp, promising chime that tugged you from your concern. you rushed to the door, your heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and nervous excitement. the order you had placed had arrived faster than you had hoped, and the prospect of surprising joohyun brought a renewed sense of purpose.

“who is it?” her voice called out from the hallway, tinged with curiosity. without missing a beat, you sprinted to her, gently but firmly guiding her back into the living room. “don’t come out, don’t you dare,” you whispered urgently, trying to keep your voice low and insistent. her startled expression softened into a chuckle, but she complied, retreating to the couch with a bemused shake of her head.

you returned to the door, signing for the package and then stepping outside to retrieve it. the box was enormous, much larger than anything you could comfortably manage on your own, but you were determined. the weight of it was a physical manifestation of your resolve, a symbol of your intent to ease her pain, even if just a little.

straining under the box’s weight, you navigated the stairs with careful steps, the bulk of the package pressing heavily against you. sweat trickled down your forehead, and you muttered to yourself, “she better like it,” as you heaved the box into your room.

once inside, you carefully unboxed the contents, revealing the piano in its elegant form. the sight of it, pristine and intact, filled you with a profound sense of relief. you had chosen this as a gift not just for its sentimental value but for the solace it could bring. the piano was more than just an instrument; it was a piece of joohyun’s past, a fragment of what had been lost, now returned to her.

wiping the sweat from your brow, you took a moment to admire the piano’s glossy surface, its intricate details catching the soft light of the room. this was not merely an object but a bridge to her past, a connection to the pieces of herself she had feared were gone forever. you carefully positioned the piano in a corner of your room, making sure it was perfectly placed. the act of setting it up was almost ceremonial, a way of honoring her grief and the memories that had been intertwined with the instrument.

as you finished, you stood back, allowing yourself a moment to appreciate the sight of the piano. you knew that the gift, while tangible, was a symbol of your unwavering support and love. it was a gesture to remind her that amidst all the loss and confusion, there was still something familiar, something worth holding onto. satisfied with your efforts, you made your way back downstairs, where joohyun was still seated on the couch. her eyes were drawn to you as you approached, and you could see a flicker of curiosity in them.

as you stood in the doorway, her eyes searching your exhausted form, she asked, “what is it?” her voice was tinged with concern and curiosity. you could see the confusion in her eyes, but you shook your head, a smile playing on your lips despite the fatigue that weighed on your shoulders.

“just close your eyes,” you instructed gently, your voice soft but insistent. you reached for her hand, feeling the warmth of her skin against yours as you guided her up the stairs. her fingers intertwined with yours, and the sensation sent a shiver through you, a mix of exhilaration and nervousness that made your heart race. you could feel the subtle tremor in your knees, but you focused on the comforting reality of her hand in yours, the connection between you both.

the climb up the stairs seemed to stretch on forever, but with every step, you felt a growing sense of anticipation. as you reached your room, you eased her into the space, positioning her in front of the piano with a whispered, “you can open your eyes now.”

joohyun hesitated for a brief moment before she complied, her gaze slowly adjusting to the sight before her. her eyes widened as she took in the grand piano, its polished surface gleaming softly in the morning light. the instrument stood there like a beacon of lost memories, its presence a tangible connection to the past that had been so cruelly stripped away.

“you,” she began, her voice faltering as she struggled to find the right words. her shock was evident, her eyes moving over the piano’s every detail, as if trying to assure herself that it was real. she reached out, her fingers trailing delicately over the surface, the familiar sensation bringing a tremor of emotion. when she turned back to you, you asked softly, “do you like it?”

the question seemed to float in the air, and rather than answering with words, joohyun’s response came in the form of a gentle embrace. she stepped toward you and wrapped her arms around you, the gesture tender and heartfelt. it wasn’t an eager or frantic hug but one of deep, composed gratitude. you were momentarily taken aback, the warmth of her embrace flooding over you, and you held her close, savoring the closeness you had missed so dearly.

“thank you,” she whispered against your shoulder, her voice catching slightly. “i can’t believe you did this.” you pulled back slightly, offering her a reassuring smile. “you should thank me by playing it,” you said playfully, “it’s only fair.”

joohyun chuckled softly, her eyes sparkling with a mix of gratitude and joy. she nodded, her smile growing as she moved to sit in front of the piano. you watched with bated breath as she positioned herself on the bench, her fingers poised above the keys.

with a deep breath, she began to play. the initial notes were hesitant, but soon they flowed smoothly, her fingers dancing gracefully across the keys. the music filled the room, a rich, melodic tapestry that wove together the threads of her past with the present moment. each note seemed to resonate with a part of her soul, a reflection of both her joy and her sorrow.

you stood behind her, mesmerized by the way her hands moved with such fluidity and skill. the sound of the piano was both soothing and invigorating, and you felt a surge of happiness as you watched her lose herself in the music. the composition was beautiful, a perfect blend of melancholic and hopeful tones that seemed to echo the complexities of her emotions. feeling a surge of affection, you slipped your arms around her neck, pulling her close as you swayed gently to the rhythm of the music. the contact between you both felt natural, comforting. she didn’t seem to mind your touch; in fact, she leaned into it, her posture relaxed and content.

the piano’s melody enveloped you both, a shared moment of intimacy and solace. you reveled in the feeling of being so close to her, of supporting her through this small, but significant act of reclaiming her passion. as she continued to play, her focus unwavering, you couldn’t help but feel the profound sense of fulfillment you had been longing for. in the midst of the music, you held her gently, allowing the notes to carry you both into a space where the past and present intertwined seamlessly.

as the final notes of the piano lingered in the air, fading into the quiet of the room, your arms remained wrapped gently around joohyun's neck. the silence that followed felt sacred, a soft cocoon of warmth and intimacy that neither of you wished to break. joohyun let out a quiet, almost breathless “thank you,” her voice carrying the weight of all the emotions she hadn’t expressed in words.

you smiled, your breath warm against her ear as you whispered back, “i haven’t heard you play in a while.” the truth of that statement hung between you both. six years, or perhaps even longer, had passed without the sound of her music. it was something she had always kept private, a part of herself she rarely shared with others. even her own mother had never heard her play the way she had for you. it had always been your shared secret, a testament to the closeness you once had—and maybe still did.

joohyun nodded in acknowledgment, her body easing into your touch as if seeking comfort in the familiarity of your embrace. “it’s been a while,” she murmured, her voice tinged with a quiet resignation.

you leaned in closer, turning slightly to meet her gaze. a teasing glint sparked in your eyes as you quipped, “must be why you’ve gotten rusty.” the playful accusation was met with a roll of her eyes, a gesture that felt like a return to your younger days when teasing banter was a regular occurrence between you.

she stood up then, gracefully extracting herself from your hold, though her expression remained soft, her smile lingering just at the corners of her lips. you clasped your hands together, a sudden idea igniting in your mind, one that felt so natural and right in that moment. “i have an idea,” you announced, your tone a mix of excitement and nostalgia. she raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued. “what’s the idea?”

“let’s go to the sea,” you suggested, your eyes bright with anticipation. the thought of the ocean, with its vastness and endless horizon, filled you with a sense of longing. it had been too long since you both had felt the salty breeze on your skin, heard the rhythmic crashing of the waves, or simply sat in the sand, watching the world go by. a smile tugged at her lips, one that she tried to suppress but failed. “we haven’t gone since we were kids,” she mused, more to herself than to you. there was something wistful in her tone, as if she too had been longing for the sea without realizing it.

you nodded eagerly, your enthusiasm infectious. “so, are you up for it?” joohyun met your gaze, her eyes searching yours for a moment before she nodded. “yeah,” she said softly, her smile widening as she agreed. “let’s go.”

the drive to the sea was filled with the kind of simple joy that felt as endless as the road stretched out before you. the windows were rolled down, letting the salty breeze whip through the car, tugging at your hair and filling the air with the scent of freedom. the radio hummed softly, playing songs that seemed to match the rhythm of your heart, every note underscoring the thrill of the moment. as joohyun drove, she glanced over at you, her eyes catching on the way the wind tousled your hair, how it mingled with the scent of salt and summer, how your face lit up with a grin that she had seen countless times before but never really noticed until now.

it was a startling realization for her. everything about you was familiar—your laughter, the way you leaned out the window, letting the wind carry your worries away, the light in your eyes as you lost yourself in the joy of the moment. it was all you, undeniably you, yet for the first time, joohyun felt something shift inside her. a strange, unnameable feeling that no melody could capture, no words could articulate. it was something she couldn’t quite explain, and it made her heart skip in a way that was both unsettling and wonderful. she turned her gaze back to the road, trying to focus on the drive, but that feeling lingered, refusing to be ignored.

when you finally reached the sea, joohyun barely had time to park the car before you bolted out, a cheer escaping your lips as you sprinted toward the sand. she found herself smiling, a genuine, soft smile that she hadn’t felt in a long time. you were a vision, spinning in the sand like a child, the wind playing with your hair, your white dress flowing around you like something out of a dream. the sight of you, so free, so full of life, made something tighten in her chest. you had always been you, the same you she had known for years—so why did it feel like she was seeing you for the first time?

“come on now,” she called out, her voice tinged with amusement. “you’re gonna fall.” but her words barely registered as you continued to move with the wind, your laughter mingling with the sound of the waves, the sense of loss that had been hanging over you both replaced, even if only for a moment, by a burning nostalgia.

she walked over to your side, her steps slow, almost hesitant. when you turned to face her, your eyes were bright with excitement, and it was contagious. joohyun couldn’t help but smile as she took in the sight of you. you looked so happy, and the way her heart raced in response caught her off guard. “just like when we were kids, right?” she asked, her voice soft, almost wistful.

you paused, your expression thoughtful as you considered her words. “not quite,” you said finally, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

before she could ask what you meant, you crouched down, gathering a handful of seawater in your hands before standing up and flinging it at her with a playful laugh. the cold water splashed against her, and she flinched, a look of shock crossing her face as you grinned wider. “now it is,” you declared, your laughter ringing out like music.

joohyun wiped the water from her eyes, an incredulous smile tugging at her lips. “i might kill you now,” she muttered, but there was no real threat in her voice.

you didn’t wait to find out. with a yelp, you turned and started running, your feet kicking up sand as you made a break for it. to your surprise, joohyun took off after you, her usual cool demeanor lost to the sea breeze. it was a side of her you hadn’t seen in years, and it filled you with a giddy sense of joy. but she was faster than you anticipated, and before you knew it, she caught up to you, tackling you into the sand with a laugh.

she hovered over you, her breath coming in soft pants, her eyes locked on yours. the smile on your face never faltered, even as you brushed a few wet strands of hair away from her forehead. “you’re all wet,” you teased, your voice light, playful, but there was an undercurrent of something more—something neither of you dared to name.

she seemed stunned for a moment, her eyes widening slightly as she felt the warmth of your touch. she winced, but not out of discomfort—rather, it was a reaction to the unfamiliar craving your touch stirred in her. you looked so helpless, so pretty, so oblivious to the effect you had on her, and it was all she could think about.

“shut up,” she murmured, her voice barely more than a whisper, but she didn’t look away. she couldn’t. the feel of the sand between her toes, the salty water clinging to her skin—it all faded into the background. all that mattered was you, lying there beneath her, your eyes wide and trusting, your smile soft and sweet. you frowned slightly, a hint of worry creeping into your expression. “you’re not mad at me, are you?”

joohyun shook her head, her eyes never leaving yours. “how could i ever be mad at you?” she asked, her voice so tender it made your heart flutter.

it wasn’t one-sided. joohyun felt it too, that fluttering, fragile feeling that was as exhilarating as it was terrifying. it was exactly why she forced herself to sit up, to put some distance between you, even if it was just a few inches. but you weren’t ready to let go of the moment. you sat up beside her, heaving a sigh of contentment as you leaned against her shoulder, your head resting there like it was the most natural thing in the world.

she stiffened slightly at the contact, her breath catching in her throat as her eyes once again found their way to your frame. you didn’t seem to notice, lost in your own memories as you smiled to yourself. “we came here when we were sixteen,” you recalled, your voice soft with nostalgia.

her lips curved into a small smile as the memory surfaced. “when you tried to drown my ex,” she finished, chuckling softly. “you’re a lunatic.”

you pouted, looking up to meet her gaze, your expression full of mock indignation. “he totally deserved it for cheating on you,” you insisted, sighing dramatically before adding, “you always pick losers.”

joohyun thought about it for a moment, her eyes never leaving yours as she softly agreed, “i do, don’t i?”

but as she said the words, the realization hit her like a wave. she wasn’t thinking about anyone else—not the ex who had wronged her, not the pain that had followed. all she could think about was you. you, who had always been there, who had always cared, who was still here, sitting beside her with that same smile she had known for years. and in that moment, nothing else mattered. not the sea, not the sand, not even the past. all she could look at was you.

the drive back home from the sea was quieter, but the silence wasn’t uncomfortable—it was a soothing, reflective kind of quiet, the kind that comes after you’ve spent time reconnecting with something you thought you’d lost. the day had passed in a blur of wind and waves, leaving both of you feeling a bit lighter, the weight of everything that had happened recently lifted, if only temporarily.

by the time you arrived home, night had fully fallen, the sky a deep indigo speckled with stars. you groaned as you stepped out of the car, stretching your arms above your head, every muscle in your body aching with exhaustion. “i’m so tired,” you muttered, rubbing the back of your neck as you trudged toward the house. “go sleep, don’t you have free will?” joohyun countered, her tone teasing, though her own steps were slower, more hesitant.

you turned to stick your tongue out at her, a playful gesture that had her smiling despite the turmoil in her mind. without waiting for her to respond, you ran to the bathroom, eager to wash off the salt and sand that clung to your skin.

joohyun chuckled softly to herself as she watched you go, but the smile faded as she made her way to your room. the door creaked as she pushed it open, the familiar space offering no comfort tonight. her mind was a tangled mess of thoughts, each one more confusing than the last. she didn’t know what to feel or if she was even allowed to feel what she was feeling. it was so different, so foreign, yet so intense that she couldn’t simply ignore it.

her eyes fell on the lighter you had given her, resting on the desk. she walked over to it, her fingers brushing against the cool metal before she picked it up. the weight of it felt heavier than it should have. slowly, she flicked it on, watching as the small flame danced before her eyes. it moved with a life of its own, flickering and swaying in the dim light of the room. she found herself staring at it, mesmerized and aggravated by how something so small could feel so mocking, so reminiscent of the very thing she’d been running from.

she didn’t notice how long she had been standing there, lost in thought, until the flame went out. blinking in surprise, she turned to find you standing in the doorway, a soft smile on your face. “you’re gonna burn yourself,” you chided gently, stepping into the room.

joohyun smiled back, setting the lighter down with a sense of relief she couldn’t quite explain. “guess i got a little lost in thought,” she murmured, almost to herself.

you settled into bed, the air between you thick with unspoken words. the silence that followed was heavy, not with discomfort, but with something more—a tension that neither of you fully understood, yet neither could deny. joohyun found herself staring at your back, as if waiting for something, anything, to happen. when you finally turned to face her, your eyes met, and neither of you could look away.

she broke the silence first, her voice barely more than a whisper. “how did you know?” she paused, her gaze searching yours before she finished, “how did you know you liked girls?”

the question caught you off guard, your heart skipping a beat as the weight of her words settled over you. you felt your chest tighten, your breath quickening as you processed what she was asking. “i don’t know,” you whispered back, your voice tinged with uncertainty. “i think i always knew.” joohyun let your words sink in, turning them over in her mind as she tried to make sense of her own thoughts. she had been thinking deeply about herself, about the feelings she had been trying to ignore. “why do you ask?” you countered gently, your voice drawing her back to the present.

for a long moment, she remained silent, her eyes never leaving yours. she was trying to gather her thoughts, to find the right words, but when she finally spoke, it wasn’t what you had expected to hear. it wasn’t what she had expected to say. “can i kiss you?” the words tumbled out, her voice barely above a whisper, but loud enough to break the silence.

your heart pounded in your chest, the world narrowing down to just the two of you. her question hung in the air, heavy with meaning, and you didn’t know how to react. your breathing became shallow, your skin tingling with anticipation as you processed what she was asking. silently, you nodded, giving her the permission she didn’t even know she needed.

she hesitated, her own breath hitching as she moved closer, the space between you disappearing with each inch. when she was so close that you could feel the warmth radiating off her, your eyes fluttered shut, and then her lips were on yours. the kiss was soft, tentative at first, but as soon as your lips touched, it felt familiar, as though you’d done this a thousand times before in some other life. it felt right, in a way that nothing else had for a long time.

you kissed her back, your lips moving against hers in an almost perfect embrace. there was a tenderness to it, a vulnerability that neither of you had shown before, and it made the moment all the more profound. her hand trembled as it came up to cup your cheek, her touch light but filled with emotion. you latched onto her wrist, your fingers gently caressing the soft skin there as you deepened the kiss, letting yourself get lost in the sensation.

when she finally pulled back, her breath was shaky, her heart racing in her chest. your eyes fluttered open, the reality of what had just happened sinking in. it was something you had been longing for, dreaming of, and now that it was happening, you didn’t know how to feel. “was that okay?” you asked quietly, your voice barely above a whisper, laced with uncertainty.

she nodded, a quiet smile tugging at the corners of her lips. “i liked it,” she admitted, her voice soft, but the sincerity in her words was undeniable.

a laugh bubbled up from within you, light and airy, as you watched her, your heart swelling with a mix of relief and happiness. joohyun frowned, her smile faltering slightly as she asked, “what? what’s so funny?” your laughter only grew, your shoulders shaking as you tried to calm yourself down. “am i a bad kisser?” she demanded, a hint of frustration creeping into her voice, though there was no real anger behind it.

you shook your head, your laughter dying down to a soft chuckle. “the worst,” you teased, a playful glint in your eyes. ahe scoffed, rolling her eyes despite the smile that tugged at her lips. she turned her back to you, feigning annoyance, but there was a lightness to her movements that hadn’t been there before. you let your head hit the pillow, the exhaustion from the day finally catching up to you. but as you lay there, something within you urged you to move closer.

tentatively, you scooted closer to her, your heart pounding in your chest as you wrapped your arms around her waist from behind. you could feel her stiffen at the unexpected touch, her breath hitching in her throat. for a moment, you wondered if you had made a mistake, if maybe this was too much, too soon. but then she relaxed, her body melting into yours as she scooted back, letting you hold her.

in the quiet of the night, with the world outside your room forgotten, you held each other, letting the warmth of the moment seep into your bones. it felt natural, as if this was where you both were meant to be all along. the worries, the confusion, the uncertainty—they all faded away, leaving only the steady rhythm of her breathing and the comforting weight of her body against yours. and for the first time in a long time, everything felt right.

when joohyun woke up, the world felt softer, quieter, as if the night had wrapped her in a cocoon of peace she hadn’t experienced in a long time. the weight of your arm still draped over her waist was a comforting reminder that she wasn’t alone, and it made her heart ache with a strange mixture of warmth and longing. it had been the best sleep she’d had in what felt like forever, and she almost regretted that it had to end.

she shifted slightly, careful not to wake you, but the movement was enough to stir you from sleep. your eyes fluttered open, heavy with the remnants of dreams, and you murmured a soft, “good morning,” as you pulled away from her. the space you left behind was cold, leaving her with an emptiness she hadn’t anticipated. “morning,” she replied, her voice still thick with sleep, as she rolled over to face the nightstand.

she reached for her phone, her fingers brushing against the cool surface before she turned it on. the light from the screen illuminated her face in the dim room, casting a soft glow over her features. you watched her quietly, noticing the way her eyes scanned the screen with a sort of resigned anticipation, as if she was bracing herself for something.

her gaze settled on a message, and her expression shifted, something unreadable crossing her features. “my dad texted me,” she announced quietly, the words heavy despite their simplicity. you leaned over, curiosity piqued, your heart fluttering with a sense of unease. “what did he say?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper as you tried to gauge her reaction.

she opened the message, her eyes narrowing slightly as she read the words. “he wants me to come to church with him today,” she said, her tone neutral, as if she was still processing the request herself.

the gravity of it all hit you, the weight of what that meant hanging between you like a shadow. you knew how much she had been struggling, how deeply her mother’s passing had affected her, and the thought of her stepping back into a place that held so many memories, both good and bad, made your heart ache for her. but joohyun seemed almost detached, as if the request didn’t faze her as much as you thought it would.

“why?” you asked quietly, the word slipping out before you could stop yourself.

ahe didn’t answer right away, her eyes still fixed on the screen as she read through the rest of the messages. “he thinks it’ll help with my mom’s passing,” she finally said, her voice soft, almost distant.

the ache in your heart intensified, a deep, gnawing pain that you tried to push down. how could you discourage her from that? how could you tell her not to do something that might help her heal, even if it meant walking into a place that held so much significance? you swallowed the lump in your throat, forcing a smile as you murmured, “maybe it’ll help.”

joohyun seemed to consider this, her eyes searching yours as if she was looking for something—reassurance, perhaps, or maybe just understanding. after a moment, she turned her gaze back to the phone, her thumb hovering over the screen. “would you come with me?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, as if she was afraid of your answer.

your breath caught in your throat. you hadn’t been to a church since you were a child, the memories of it fuzzy and distant, like a half-forgotten dream. the idea of going back, of stepping into a place that felt so foreign now, made your heart race with a mixture of fear and uncertainty. but when you looked at her, at the way she seemed so lost, so vulnerable, you knew you couldn’t say no. you saw the hurt in her eyes, the pain that she was still carrying with her, and you couldn’t bear the thought of her facing that alone.

so, you nodded, the decision made before you even realized it. “of course,” you said, your voice steady, even as your heart pounded in your chest. “i’ll go with you.” the relief in her eyes was immediate, her shoulders relaxing as if a weight had been lifted off of her. she gave you a small, grateful smile, and for a moment, the tension between you eased, replaced by something warmer, something more intimate. “thank you,” she murmured, her hand reaching out to take yours, squeezing it gently.

you found yourself sitting in the back seat of joohyun's car, feeling the tension in the air grow as you approached the church. it was a place you hadn’t stepped foot in for years, and the mere thought of entering it now made your stomach churn with unease. the idea of being surrounded by people who might judge you for who you were, for who you loved, left you feeling vulnerable in a way you hadn’t anticipated.

joohyun’s father greeted you both at the entrance, his face lighting up when he saw you. “there’s my other daughter,” he said warmly, pulling you into a tight hug. you hugged him back, the familiarity of his embrace momentarily easing the tension in your chest. when you pulled away, you offered your condolences, your voice soft and sincere.

“i’m so sorry for your loss,” you murmured, your eyes meeting his. the grief in his gaze was palpable, but he smiled at you, appreciating the sentiment. “thank you,” he replied, his voice thick with emotion. “it means a lot that you’re here.”

as you walked into the church, you felt a wave of discomfort wash over you. the space was grand, with high ceilings and stained-glass windows that bathed the room in a kaleidoscope of colors. the air was thick with incense, the smell overpowering as it filled your lungs. you couldn’t shake the feeling that you didn’t belong here, that you were an outsider in a place where everyone else seemed to fit perfectly. the church was foreign to you, and every step you took felt like it was magnified, echoing in the silence of the sacred space.

you and joohyun found a seat near the middle, close enough to see the priest clearly but far enough to feel slightly removed from the intensity of it all. you sat down, trying to steady your breathing, and glanced over at joohyun. she looked serene, calm even, as if this was just another day, but you could see the underlying tension in the way her hands fidgeted with the edge of her dress. you offered her a warm smile, hoping to provide some comfort, and she returned it, though it didn’t quite reach her eyes.

the service began, the priest’s voice ringing out clearly in the large space, amplified by the acoustics of the room. he spoke of loss, of the pain that comes with it, and the need to find solace in faith. his words were gentle at first, meant to soothe, to offer comfort to those who were grieving. “we are all familiar with the ache of loss,” he said, his voice carrying through the church. “but it is in our darkest moments that we must turn to god, to seek his guidance, for he is the one who will lead us to the light.”

as he spoke, you felt your heart ache for joohyun, knowing how deeply she had been hurt, how much she was struggling to find that light. without thinking, you reached out and placed your hand on top of hers, squeezing gently in a silent gesture of support. she looked down at your hand, her fingers slowly wrapping around yours, and she squeezed back, intertwining your fingers with hers. the simple touch grounded you both, a small anchor in the sea of uncertainty that surrounded you.

the priest continued, his words growing more intense, more insistent as he spoke of the need to obey god’s will, to follow his path no matter how difficult it might seem. “the trials we face are but a small price to pay for the paradise that awaits us,” he said, his voice firm. “to obey god, to live according to his commandments, is to guarantee a place in his kingdom, where there is no more pain, no more suffering.”

you felt joohyun stiffen beside you, her grip on your hand loosening until she let go entirely. the sudden absence of her touch left you feeling cold, a void opening up between you that you hadn’t anticipated. you pulled your hand back, your heart breaking as you watched her focus intently on the priest, her eyes fixed on him as if she was hanging on to every word. she seemed mesmerized, lost in the promise of salvation, of finding peace through obedience.

for a moment, you felt a pang of resentment, a bitter taste in your mouth as you listened to the priest’s words. how could someone be expected to pay such a price? to deny themselves, to live in fear of who they were, just to be accepted into paradise? the thought made your chest tighten, a silent protest forming in your mind. god loves you, you thought bitterly, but not enough to save you.

the rest of the service passed in a blur, the priest’s words fading into the background as you struggled with your own thoughts. joohyun remained quiet, her gaze never leaving the front of the church, and you couldn’t help but wonder what was going through her mind. was she finding comfort in the priest’s words? did she believe them? and if she did, where did that leave you?

when the service finally ended, the congregation began to disperse, the sound of shuffling feet and hushed whispers filling the air. you stood up slowly, feeling the weight of everything pressing down on you, but you forced yourself to smile as joohyun’s father approached. “you did well,” he said, his voice gentle as he placed a hand on her shoulder. she nodded, a small, tight-lipped smile on her face, but she didn’t say anything. he turned to you, his expression warm as he added, “thank you for being here. it means more than you know.”

you nodded, offering him a small smile in return, but the words felt hollow. all you could think about was the space that had opened up between you and joohyun, the distance that seemed to have grown in such a short amount of time.

as you left the church, the air outside felt cooler, fresher, but it did little to ease the heaviness in your chest. joohyun walked beside you, her steps slow and measured, and you couldn’t help but steal glances at her, searching for any sign of what she was feeling. but her face was unreadable, her thoughts hidden behind a mask of composure. you reached the car in silence, the only sound the soft crunch of gravel beneath your feet. she unlocked the doors, and you both got in, the silence between you thick and oppressive. as she started the engine, you glanced at her, wanting to say something, anything, to bridge the gap that had formed between you. but the words wouldn’t come.

the days following the church service felt like you were slowly losing something you didn’t quite know how to name. joohyun’s behavior shifted, subtle at first, but the changes grew more pronounced with each passing day. it was as if the moment in church had planted something in her mind, something that took root and began to grow, twisting its way through her thoughts, altering them, changing her in ways that left you feeling adrift.

it started with her eyes. the way they no longer found yours, no longer lingered on your face with that quiet, thoughtful intensity. before, there had been moments when you’d catch her looking at you, her gaze softening as if she was seeing something she didn’t fully understand but wanted to. now, her eyes skimmed over you, barely registering your presence, as if the act of looking at you was too much, too difficult. it was like she was afraid of what she might find if she let herself look too closely, so she kept her distance, both physically and emotionally.

her touch, too, became something of the past. where once she had hesitated only to give in, to seek the comfort of your presence, to let her hand linger on your arm or her fingers brush against yours, now there was a deliberate space between you. it was as if nothing had ever happened, as if the kiss you shared was a figment of your imagination, a fleeting dream that faded in the harsh light of day. she no longer reached for you, no longer found excuses to be close, and the absence of her touch felt like a loss you couldn’t quite put into words. it was a quiet withdrawal, a silent pulling away, and it left you feeling like you were standing on the edge of something you couldn’t see but feared falling into.

the silence between you was different now, heavier, filled with unspoken words and unacknowledged fears. and when she did speak, it was often to break that silence with facts you hadn’t asked for, facts about religion and god that seemed to come out of nowhere, yet you knew exactly where they were coming from. “did you know,” she would begin, her voice too casual, too light, “that the bible says god will forgive any sin if you truly repent?” or, “did you know that people used to believe you could cure sickness by praying hard enough?”

you didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know how to tell her that you didn’t want to hear these things, that they only served to widen the gap between you. so, you stayed quiet, nodding when she spoke, letting her words wash over you even as they made your heart ache. it felt like she was trying to convince herself of something, trying to find solace in these facts, trying to believe that there was a way to fix whatever it was she thought was broken.

then, she started praying. it was a quiet, almost secretive thing at first, something she did in the privacy of her room or in the stillness of the morning when she thought you were asleep. but you heard her, the soft murmur of her voice as she whispered her prayers, the way her words were tinged with desperation, with a longing you couldn’t quite place. and then one day, you heard her say it aloud, her voice trembling with emotion. “i want to be cured,” she said, her words hanging in the air like a plea.

you didn’t know what she was referring to, didn’t know if she meant the grief over her mother or something else entirely. but the way she said it, the way her voice cracked on the word “cured,” sent a chill through you. you wanted to reach out to her, to ask her what she meant, to offer her comfort, but something in the way she spoke, in the way she seemed so lost in her thoughts, stopped you. all you could do was listen in silence, watching her as she prayed for something you couldn’t give her, something that felt like it was slipping further out of reach with every passing day.

the lighter became her constant companion, a small, seemingly insignificant object that she kept with her at all times. you would see her sitting at the piano, her fingers absentmindedly flicking the lighter on and off, the small flame dancing in front of her as if mocking her, taunting her with its ephemeral nature. you noticed how her eyes would fixate on the flame, how she seemed almost hypnotized by it, as if it held some kind of answer she was searching for. and then one day, you saw her burn herself.

it happened so quickly, so quietly, that at first you didn’t even realize what had happened. ahe was sitting at the piano, the lighter in her hand as usual, when the flame touched her skin. there was a small hiss, the smell of burnt flesh, and you gasped, your heart leaping into your throat. but she didn’t react. she didn’t even flinch. she just sat there, staring at the small burn on her hand as if it were nothing, as if it didn’t hurt. you didn’t know if it had been an accident or if she had done it on purpose, but the way she remained so calm, so detached, made your blood run cold.

when she played the piano now, there was no emotion in it, no feeling, no passion. the notes were correct, the technique flawless, but there was something missing, something vital that had once been there but was now lost. the music felt empty, hollow, like a shell of what it used to be. it was as if she was going through the motions, playing the notes because she knew them, not because she felt them. and every time you heard her play, it broke your heart a little more, because you knew how much the piano had once meant to her, how much joy it had brought her. but now, it was just another thing that had been tainted, another thing that had been lost in the wake of whatever it was she was going through.

you wanted to fix it, to fix her, to bring her back to the person she used to be, the person who had smiled at you, who had kissed you, who had held your hand. but the more you tried, the more it felt like she was slipping away, like she was fading into something you couldn’t reach, something you couldn’t save. and you didn’t know what to do, didn’t know how to hold on to something that was already broken. because when something breaks, you’re supposed to let go of it, to move on, to find something new. but you couldn’t. all you wanted to do was fix it, to fix her, to make everything right again. but the more you tried, the more it hurt, and the less it showed.

the days had grown longer, more drawn out, and more painful, as joohyun drifted further away from the person you once knew. it was late in the afternoon when she finally mentioned the bonfire party. her voice was flat, almost disinterested, as if she was announcing something mundane, like a change in the weather. “there’s a bonfire party by the sea tonight,” she said, not even looking up from the lighter she had been fiddling with.

you glanced up from where you were sitting, a pang of worry twisting in your chest. the idea of a bonfire, of flames and alcohol mixed with the volatile state she had been in lately, sent alarms ringing through your mind. “maybe it isn’t a good idea to go,” you suggested carefully, trying to keep your voice steady. “the fire, it might provoke you even more.”

but joohyun paid no mind to your concern. ahe shrugged, a faint, almost bitter smile playing on her lips as she slipped the lighter into her pocket. “i’m fine,” she insisted, her voice cold, distant. “we’re going. it’ll be fun.” her insistence made your heart sink. she had been drawn to all the wrong things lately, claiming that she was on the right path, that she knew what she was doing, but you both knew that wasn’t true. there was a coldness in her now, a recklessness that hadn’t been there before. she clung to the lighter like a lifeline, a small object that had once meant something, had once been a reminder of who she was. but now, it was just another piece of who she had lost.

you knew it was useless to argue, so you sighed and nodded, deciding to go with her. maybe if you were there, you could keep her safe, keep her from doing something she would regret. the night air was cool as you walked down to the beach together, the sound of the waves crashing against the shore filling the silence between you. the sky was dark, the stars barely visible through the haze of clouds, and the smell of salt and seaweed filled the air.

the bonfire was already roaring by the time you arrived, a towering inferno of orange and red that cast long shadows across the sand. people were gathered around it, laughing, talking, drinking, the flickering light playing across their faces. you felt out of place, like you didn’t belong here, like the fire was too bright, too intense. but joohyun walked forward without hesitation, drawn to the flames like a moth, her eyes fixed on the fire as if it held some kind of answer she was searching for.

you followed her, your heart heavy with worry as you watched her grab a drink and down it quickly, almost desperately. she was drinking more than you had thought she would, more than you had ever seen her drink before. the sight of it made you uneasy, and you reached out to gently touch her arm. “joo,” you murmured, your voice barely audible over the crackling of the fire. “maybe you shouldn’t drink so much.”

ahe brushed off your concern with a careless wave of her hand, not even bothering to look at you. “i’m fine,” she repeated, her words slurred slightly, the alcohol already beginning to take hold. she took another drink, and you bit your lip, watching her closely, trying to keep an eye on her, to make sure she didn’t go too far.

as the night wore on, you could tell she had had too much. you could see it in the way her movements became sluggish, her steps unsteady, and the way her arm suddenly wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you in close. you stiffened at the touch, your heart skipping a beat as you felt her warmth against you. you could smell the alcohol on her breath, sharp and pungent, and you knew that this wasn’t her, not really. it was the alcohol, the numbness she was trying to find at the bottom of the bottle.

but maybe, maybe it wasn’t. maybe this was what she wanted, maybe this was what she felt deep down, beneath the layers of confusion and pain. you wanted so desperately to believe it, to believe that this was real, that it wasn’t just the alcohol talking. so, you eased into her touch, letting your head rest against her shoulder, letting yourself pretend, just for a moment, that everything was okay, that she was still yours, that she still loved you, if she ever had.

you watched the fire together, the flames dancing and crackling, the heat of it warming your skin. but as you glanced up at her, you saw the way her eyes stared into the fire, hazy with alcohol, empty and distant. it was like she was somewhere else, lost in her own thoughts, her own pain. then, without warning, she pulled out the lighter again, flicking it on and off, the small flame dancing in front of her, taunting her, mocking her.

you had had enough. you leaned down and blew out the flame, your voice sharp and edged with frustration as you whispered, “one more time, joohyun. one more time, and you’ll die.”

she scoffed, but there was no humor in it, only a bitter resignation. she tucked the lighter away, her movements slow and deliberate, but she kept her arm around you, and you kept your head on her shoulder. you stayed like that as the party slowly began to die down, people leaving in pairs or small groups, until it was just the two of you left, the fire burning low, the night growing colder.

it was what you needed, the solitude, the quiet, just the two of you. but it wasn’t what you wanted. not like this. not with her so far away, so lost in her own darkness. you wanted to reach out to her, to pull her back, to tell her that it was okay, that you were still here, that you loved her. but you didn’t know how. you didn’t know if it would even matter. and then, she turned to face you, her eyes locking onto yours. your heart broke for her in that moment, seeing the pain, the confusion, the emptiness in her gaze. but you said nothing, the words stuck in your throat, your voice lost to the night.

she leaned in, her breath warm against your skin, and before you could react, before you could stop her, she kissed you. it was sudden, unexpected, and it sent a shock of electricity through your body. for a moment, you froze, unsure of what to do, unsure of what this meant. but then you gave in, your eyes fluttering shut as you kissed her back, your heart pounding in your chest.

her lips were soft, familiar, but there was a desperation to the kiss, a hunger that hadn’t been there before. it was as if she was trying to find something in you, something to hold on to, something to save her from herself. you kissed her back, your hand reaching up to cup her cheek, to pull her closer, to keep her from slipping away. “don’t do that,” you murmured against her lips, your voice cold, laced with fear and anger and something you couldn’t quite name. “god will see.”

she didn’t respond, didn’t pull away. Instead, she kissed you harder, her fingers tangling in your hair, her body pressing against yours. it was desperate, it was reckless, but it was all you had, all she had. if god was watching, if he was there, why did she feel so lonely? why did you?

the fire crackled beside you, the flames dying down, the night growing colder. but in that moment, nothing else mattered. all that mattered was her, and the way her lips felt against yours, the way she held on to you as if you were the only thing keeping her from falling apart. and maybe you were. but even as you kissed her, even as you let yourself get lost in her, you knew that it wasn’t enough. it would never be enough.

the drive back home was suffocating in its silence, the kind that gnawed at the edges of your thoughts, unraveling everything you had tried to keep together. the hum of the engine filled the void between you, and the rhythmic blink of the passing streetlights played across joohyun’s face, casting fleeting shadows that deepened the hollowness in her eyes. she stared out the window, her face expressionless, as if the night had drained her of everything she once was.

you kept your eyes on the road, your hands gripping the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles turned white. the kiss still lingered on your lips, a bitter reminder of what had happened by the fire. you wanted to speak, to say something that would break the tension, the uncertainty, the fear that had settled between you like an unwelcome guest. but the words wouldn’t come. you were afraid they might shatter whatever fragile connection you had left.

the drive felt endless, each minute stretching into eternity, but eventually, you pulled into the driveway, the car coming to a slow stop. joohyun made no move to get out, and for a moment, neither did you. you sat there in the darkness, the only sound the ticking of the cooling engine, the silence growing heavier with each passing second. finally, you sighed and unbuckled your seatbelt, opening the door and stepping out into the cool night air.

she followed you wordlessly, her movements slow, deliberate, as if she was moving through a dream. you unlocked the door and stepped inside, your heart heavy with the weight of everything unsaid, everything unresolved. you barely had time to close the door behind you before she was on you, her hands fisting in the fabric of your jacket as she pulled you in for a kiss.

it was different from the one by the fire, more intense, more desperate. she kissed you with a fervor that bordered on madness, her lips bruising against yours as if she was trying to drown out the world, to forget everything that had happened, everything that she was. your mind screamed at you to stop, to push her away, to tell her that this wasn’t right, that she wasn’t in her right mind. but your heart, traitorous and weak, told you to give in, to let her have this moment, to give her whatever she needed because you loved her.

you hesitated for a moment, your mind and heart warring within you, but when she bit down on your lower lip, a small, needy sound escaping her throat, you found yourself giving in. you wrapped your arms around her, pulling her closer, deepening the kiss as if you could somehow fuse your souls together, as if that could make everything better, could make everything make sense.

she broke the kiss only long enough to grab your hand, pulling you toward the stairs with a determination that left you breathless. you followed her, your heart pounding in your chest, your mind reeling from the intensity of it all. each step felt heavier than the last, your resolve crumbling with every passing second as you fought against the voice in your head that told you to stop, to say something, to pull away.

but you couldn’t. not when she was looking at you like that, her eyes filled with something you couldn’t quite name, something raw and desperate. she led you upstairs, her hand trembling slightly as she pushed open the door to her room. the moment you stepped inside, she was on you again, her lips crashing against yours as if she was afraid that if she let go, you would disappear.

your back hit the wall, and she pressed her body against yours, her hands moving to tangle in your hair, pulling you down for another searing kiss. you wanted to fight it, to tell her that this wasn’t right, that this wasn’t the way to fix what was broken between you. but you couldn’t find the strength to push her away. not when you loved her so much, not when you had been longing for her touch, her kiss, for so long.

she kissed you like she was trying to consume you, like she was trying to erase everything that had happened, everything that had been said, and you let her. you let her take what she needed, let her use you to fill the void inside her, because you knew that this was all you could give her now. you knew that once the night was over, once the passion had faded, she would go back to being distant, cold, unreachable. but for now, in this moment, she was yours, and you were hers, and that was enough.

you kissed her back with just as much intensity, your hands moving to hold her close, to keep her from slipping away from you. you poured all your love, all your pain, all your desperation into that kiss, trying to convey everything you couldn’t put into words. she responded in kind, her body trembling against yours as she kissed you with a fierceness that left you breathless.

you stumbled back toward the bed, your lips never leaving hers as you fell onto the mattress together. she moved over you, her hands roaming over your body with a desperation that sent shivers down your spine. you arched into her touch, your own hands tracing the contours of her body, memorizing every curve, every dip, every part of her that you loved so much.

when she kissed you again, it was slower, softer, as if she was savoring the moment, as if she was trying to make it last. you kissed her back, your hands cupping her face as you looked into her eyes, searching for something, anything, that would tell you that this was real, that this meant something. but her eyes were guarded, her expression unreadable, and it made your heart ache.

she pulled back slightly, her forehead resting against yours, her breath ragged as she whispered your name, her voice filled with a longing that broke you all over again. you wanted to say something, to tell her that you loved her, that you would always love her, no matter what. but the words stuck in your throat, and all you could do was kiss her again, hoping that she understood, hoping that she knew.

you reached down to unbutton her shirt, her skin hot and smooth beneath your fingertips. she helped you, her eyes never leaving yours as she peeled the fabric away, revealing the soft mounds of her breasts. you took one in your hand, feeling the weight of it, the warmth of her, the way her nipple hardened under your touch. she gasped, her eyes fluttering closed, and you took that as your cue to lean down and kiss her, to tease her nipple with your tongue until she was arching into you, her hands tightening in your hair.

you felt her hand slide down between your legs, her fingers tracing the line of your panties, and you knew she could feel how wet you were, how much you wanted her. you moaned against her neck, your hips bucking involuntarily. she smiled, a knowing smile that made your stomach flip. you pushed the negative thoughts aside, focusing instead on the way her hand felt against you, the way she was making you feel. you let your own hand slide down to her pants, undoing the button and zipper with trembling fingers. you slipped your hand inside, feeling the heat of her, the dampness of her underwear. she was just as eager as you, and that was all that mattered right now.

you pulled her closer, grinding against her, the friction sending waves of pleasure through your body. she groaned, her hand moving to match your rhythm, her other hand sliding up to cup your breast. you could feel yourself getting closer, your body tightening, your breath hitching. you didn’t know how much longer you could take this, how much longer you could keep pretending that everything was okay, that this was what you both wanted.

you reached down to pull her pants off, your own following shortly after. you lay there, in the darkness, skin to skin, heart to heart, your bodies intertwined as you kissed and touched each other with a passion that was almost painful. it was as if you were trying to hold on to something that was slipping through your fingers, something that was never truly yours to begin with.

you felt her hand move between your legs, her fingers delving into your wetness, exploring you with a hunger that left you breathless. you gasped, your hips rising to meet her touch as she began to rub slow circles around your clit. you reached down to do the same to her, feeling the slickness of her arousal, the heat of her desire.

the room was spinning, the only anchor in the darkness her eyes, locked on yours, her pupils dilated with lust. your breath mingled, your hearts pounded in sync as you both lost yourself in the moment. you didn’t know how much longer you could hold on to the facade, the lie that this was just two friends sharing a drunken mistake, that it didn’t mean anything more.

you pushed aside the thoughts, focusing instead on the feel of her, the taste of her, the sound of her breath hitching as you slid a finger inside her. she was tight, so tight, and so wet. you felt a thrill of power, of need, knowing that you could make her feel this way, knowing that she was just as lost in this as you were. you kissed her again, deep and needy, as you felt her hand slip down to mirror your own movements, her finger sliding into you, filling you, stretching you. you moaned into her mouth, the pleasure building, coiling tighter and tighter, threatening to consume you.

you rolled over, breaking the kiss, and pulled her on top of you, wrapping your legs around her hips. she sat up, straddling you, her breasts bouncing gently as she began to rock against your hand. you watched her, the flicker of the dying fire casting shadows across her face, her eyes half-closed in ecstasy. it was the most beautiful, heartbreaking thing you had ever seen.

you reached up to cup her breasts, feeling the weight of them in your hands, your thumbs teasing her nipples as she moved against you. she leaned down, her breath hot against your neck as she whispered, “don’t tell anyone, okay? i’m not—i’m not like that. i don’t do this.”

you nodded, your heart breaking a little more with each word. you didn’t care what she said, what she thought. all you knew was that you loved her, and this was what she needed, what you both needed, for now. so you held on, you gave her what she wanted, you let her use you as she sought refuge in the one place she thought she could never be found. you felt the tension building in her body, her muscles tensing, her breath coming in short, sharp gasps. you knew she was close, so close. you curled your fingers inside her, finding that perfect spot, and she let out a cry, her body convulsing with the force of her orgasm.

you held her as she came down, her head resting on your shoulder, her breath hot and ragged against your skin. for a moment, you felt like everything was right in the world, like the universe had aligned and all was well. but when she pulled away, her eyes filled with tears, you knew that wasn’t true.

she rolled off you, onto her back, her chest heaving with the aftermath of pleasure and pain. she was crying, silent tears that rolled down her cheeks and into the pillow. you reached out to wipe them away, but she flinched, her eyes snapping open to look at you.

“i don’t wanna go to hell,” she whispered, her voice thick with regret. “i don’t wanna burn.”

you swallowed hard, your own eyes burning with unshed tears. you knew it was a mistake for her, that she didn’t love you the way you loved her. but you couldn’t bring yourself to say it, to acknowledge the truth that was staring you in the face. so instead, you kissed her again, hoping that maybe, just maybe, you could change her mind, that maybe she would see what you saw, feel what you felt. but she didn’t. she pulled away, sitting up and reaching for her clothes. you watched her, your heart in your throat, as she dressed in the darkness, her movements jerky and frantic. she didn’t look at you as she left the room, leaving you alone with the dying embers of the fire and the cold, hard truth of what had just happened.

you curled up on the bed, pulling the covers around you, trying to hold in the sobs that threatened to escape. you told yourself it didn’t mean anything, that it was just a drunken mistake. but deep down, you knew it did. every touch, every kiss, every stroke of her hand over your skin had been a silent confession of love, a love that she was too afraid to admit, even to herself. you lay there in the darkness, the room spinning with a mix of emotions: passion, pain, and a love so strong it hurt. you felt empty without her, as if she had taken a piece of you with her when she left. the smell of her perfume lingered in the air, taunting you with memories of her touch. you wanted to call out to her, to tell her how much you loved her, but you knew it would only push her further away.

so you cried, letting the tears fall silently onto the pillow. you cried for the love you had lost, for the love you never had. you cried for the girl who was so lost in her own beliefs, her own fears, that she couldn’t see what was right in front of her. and you cried for yourself, for the girl who had given her heart away so easily, only to have it shattered in return.

you woke with tears in your eyes, but you didn’t notice them. what you did notice, as your consciousness gradually returned, was the empty space beside you. the sheets on joohyun’s side were cold, the pillow untouched, as if she had never been there at all. your heart sank at the sight, a hollow ache blooming in your chest. the events of the night before felt distant, like a dream that you desperately wanted to hold onto but was slipping through your fingers with each passing second.

you forced yourself to sit up, your body feeling heavier than usual, the weight of reality pressing down on you like a leaden blanket. you noticed a small piece of paper on her pillow, a note, its presence both alarming and foreboding. with trembling fingers, you picked it up, your breath catching in your throat as you unfolded it.

the words were simple, written in joohyun’s neat, delicate handwriting: “i’ve gone to church.”

the heartbreak hit you like a freight train, a pain so deep and all-encompassing that it threatened to drown you. your vision blurred, the tears you hadn’t realized were there spilling over and streaking down your cheeks. you wanted to scream, to cry out, to demand an explanation, but there was no one there to hear you. the silence in the room was deafening, the emptiness around you suffocating.

you moved through the motions of getting dressed as if on autopilot, your mind numb to everything but the ache in your chest. you pulled on your clothes with trembling hands, the fabric rough against your skin, a stark contrast to the warmth you had felt the night before. you caught a glimpse of yourself in the mirror as you brushed your teeth, the sight of your own tear-streaked face making your stomach churn. you looked like a ghost, a hollow shell of the person you had been, and you hated it.

you forced yourself to move to the kitchen, the routine of making coffee providing a small, temporary distraction from the storm raging inside you. the familiar scent filled the air, but it did nothing to calm your nerves, nothing to ease the pain that gnawed at your insides. you took a sip of the hot, bitter liquid, but it tasted like ash on your tongue. everything felt wrong, out of place, as if the world had shifted beneath your feet and you were left stumbling in the dark.

when you heard the door open, your heart skipped a beat, a rush of emotions flooding through you all at once. joohyun stepped inside, the soft click of the door shutting behind her echoing in the quiet house. for a moment, she just stood there, her eyes meeting yours from across the room. there was a flicker of something in her gaze, something that mirrored the turmoil in your own heart, but it was gone just as quickly as it appeared.

neither of you said a word. the silence stretched between you, heavy and suffocating, like a barrier you couldn’t break through. you wanted to ask her where she had been, what she was thinking, if she remembered what had happened between you the night before. but you didn’t. you couldn’t. the words were lodged in your throat, choked by the fear of what her answer might be.

days passed, and she grew colder, more distant with each one. she stopped looking at you the way she used to, stopped touching you, stopped asking for your touch. it was as if nothing had ever happened between you, as if the kisses, the whispered words, the warmth you had shared were nothing more than figments of your imagination. the only time she spoke was to break the silence with more random facts about religion, about god, as if she was trying to convince herself of something, as if she was trying to drown out whatever it was that haunted her.

the lighter she carried with her had become a constant companion, a small, seemingly insignificant object that had taken on a sinister presence in your lives. she flicked it on and off, the tiny flame dancing before her eyes as she stared at it with an intensity that frightened you. “joohyun, you can’t keep doing this,” you had pleaded one day, your voice trembling with the weight of your concern, your love, your desperation. “please, talk to me. tell me what’s going on.”

but she had pushed you away, her eyes cold, distant, a look of resignation on her face. “there’s nothing to talk about,” she had said, her voice flat, emotionless. “this is just the way things are now.”

“no, it’s not,” you had cried, your voice cracking with the intensity of your emotions. “we can fix this. we can—” but she had cut you off again, her tone final, unyielding. “there’s nothing to fix.”

and so the days passed, each one more painful than the last. you tried to hold on, tried to be there for her, tried to reach her, but every time you got close, she pushed you away. the more you loved her, the colder she became, until you were left with nothing but the empty shell of the person you once knew.

then, one day, you couldn’t take it anymore. the anger, the frustration, the heartbreak had built up to the point where it was suffocating, choking you, leaving you gasping for air. when she came back from church that day, you were waiting for her, your heart pounding in your chest, your emotions swirling inside you like a storm.

as she walked past you, her shoulder brushed against yours, a touch so brief and so cold that it felt like a slap in the face. you reached out, grabbing her hand, desperate to make her stop, to make her listen. “joohyun, please,” you begged, your voice trembling with the weight of your emotions.

but she pulled her hand back, her eyes flashing with anger, with something darker that you couldn’t quite name. “don’t touch me,” she snapped, her voice cold, cutting. you felt the words like a punch to the gut, the pain so sharp, so intense that it left you breathless. “where did it all go wrong?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “how could you do this to me? to us?”

ahe shook her head, her eyes hard, unyielding. “i won’t give in,” she said, her voice steady, resolute. “i won’t taint my soul.”

the words were like a knife to your heart, the final, brutal blow that shattered whatever hope you had left. you should have prayed. prayed for her to come back to you, prayed for her to love you the way she used to, but you couldn’t. instead, you spoke the truth that had been burning inside you for so long. “you’re already tainted.”

the words hung in the air between you, heavy, damning, and for a moment, you saw something flicker in her eyes. hurt, anger, regret—you couldn’t tell. but then her expression hardened, and before you could react, she punched you in the face. the force of the blow sent you stumbling back, pain exploding across your cheek, but you didn’t hit her back. you couldn’t. Instead, you reached out, clinging to her, pulling her into a hug, desperate to hold onto the last piece of her that was still yours.

for a moment, just a brief, fleeting moment, she softened in your arms. you felt it, the warmth that had been missing for so long, the connection that you had been longing for. but it was gone just as quickly as it came, replaced by the cold, unyielding wall she had built around herself. she shoved you away, her eyes burning with a fury that terrified you, and she punched you again, harder this time, sending you crashing to the floor.

you wanted to fight back, wanted to hit her, scream at her, demand to know why she was doing this, but all you could do was reach for her again. when you saw it, the look in her eyes, the confirmation that she wasn’t herself anymore—that was when you gave in, when it was your fist’s turn to collide with her face. and it did, the force of it sending her flying backwards, but you couldn't bear the sight of her, your heart breaking with every breath you took. you pulled her into another hug, your arms wrapping around her like a lifeline, but she shoved you away with a force that left you breathless. she walked out of the house without another word, the door slamming behind her, leaving you lying on the floor, broken and bleeding, the weight of everything that had happened pressing down on you.

you walked aimlessly through the empty streets, the pain in your jaw a dull throb that seemed to echo with every step you took. the bruises were a physical manifestation of the heartbreak that had shattered you from the inside out. the day had bled into dusk, the sky a muted canvas of purples and blues, the fading light doing little to ease the darkness settling in your heart.

the world around you felt distant, as if you were drifting through a dream you couldn’t wake from. your mind was a jumbled mess of thoughts and emotions, each one more conflicting than the last. you wandered without purpose, each step heavy with a weariness that went beyond physical exhaustion. the weight of everything that had happened pressed down on you, leaving you feeling empty and hollow.

you barely noticed the bump against your shoulder, the sharp sting of it cutting through your daze. it was only when a group of girls appeared, their faces a blur of anger and disdain, that you began to register the reality of your situation. they grabbed you roughly, pulling you back into a narrow alleyway, their hands striking you with a force that felt almost detached from the pain you were already feeling.

you didn’t fight back. the instinct to defend yourself, to protect what little was left, had long since faded. you let the blows land, each one a reminder of your own helplessness, a cruel echo of the turmoil raging inside you. the cold brick wall pressed into your back, the texture of it rough and unyielding against your skin. blood dripped from your chin, mingling with the grime of the alleyway, but you simply let it fall.

they continued their assault, their voices a cacophony of angry shouts that blurred into the background noise of the city. You heard them, but their words felt distant, like they were coming from another world. the realization that you didn’t care anymore, that you were willing to let it all end, was almost a relief. the bruises and the blood were physical manifestations of a deeper, more profound pain—a pain that you had long since accepted as part of your existence.

eventually, the girls left, their anger spent, leaving you slumped against the wall, barely able to lift your head. the alleyway was silent again, save for the distant hum of traffic and the occasional murmur of voices from the street. you pushed yourself upright, the effort making your body ache even more, but you didn’t have the strength to stay on your feet. you wandered aimlessly until you reached the middle of the street, your movements slow and unsteady. the world around you was a blur, the streetlights casting long, eerie shadows that danced across the pavement. the light of an approaching car caught your eye, so vivid among the darkness that had engulfed you.

you turned your head, the light from the car seeming almost to beckon you, a final, fleeting hope that perhaps something might change. but before you could process the thought, you felt the impact, a sudden, jarring collision that sent you sprawling across the asphalt. the world went black, the pain and the cold merging into a numb void that swallowed you whole. in those final moments, as consciousness slipped away, you thought to yourself. the light of the car, so bright, so welcoming. had it not been for the car, for the collision, you would've aasumed it was god. you would've assumed that it was your turn to see the light, the one that led you to the right path. a glimmer of light, a brief flash of salvation that never truly materialized. you thought, perhaps, that it was god, or fate, or some form of cosmic justice finally reaching out to you. but if there was a higher power, if there was anyone watching over you, they had chosen not to intervene. you had been loved, you thought, but not enough to be saved.

joohyun paced through the house, the remnants of alcohol and broken memories scattered across the rooms like ghosts of a past she could no longer escape. she moved mechanically, her movements driven by a frantic need to impose order on a chaos that had seeped into her very being. the empty cups, the overturned bottles—she swept them away with a fervor that bordered on madness. maybe, she thought, if she cleaned up the mess around her, she could purge the turmoil inside her. the scent of your presence lingered in every corner, an indelible reminder of the love she had been too broken to embrace fully.

as she scrubbed the surfaces, the stench of stale alcohol mixed with the acrid tang of her own tears. the house, once a sanctuary of shared moments and quiet intimacy, now felt like a prison of her own making. the realization that you had left and had not come back struck her like a physical blow. the emptiness of the space was a constant reminder of her failure, a space filled with echoes of laughter and affection now gone silent.

in a fit of frustration, her emotions erupted violently. she slammed her hands onto the table, its sturdy surface buckling under the force of her anger. dishes clattered to the floor, their shards adding to the chaos that had taken over. she pulled at her hair, the disheveled strands a physical manifestation of the mess in her mind. ahe stumbled into your room, her breath coming in ragged gasps. the sight of the piano, the once-beautiful instrument that had been a source of solace and joy, filled her with a wave of guilt and rage. with a sob of anguish, she attacked the piano. her fists pounded against the keys, each strike producing a cacophony of dissonant notes that seemed to scream her sorrow. the sound of the keys breaking and the strings snapping was a mournful dirge, one that echoed her internal devastation.

eventually, the piano fell silent, its music stilled. joohyun collapsed onto the floor, her energy spent, her body trembling from the effort and the tears. she was surrounded by the debris of her actions, the fragments of the piano and the shattered remains of the table forming a grim tapestry around her. the realization that she had driven away the one person who had loved her enough to try to save her was a crushing weight on her chest.

her gaze fell upon the lighter, the object that had once been a symbol of her independence and now a grim reminder of her inability to cope. it was the same lighter you had given her, its initials faded but still recognizable. with a numb resignation, she found herself tearing the closet door open. she knew it held everything she needed, sooner or later. in this case, now.

it was the precise reason she took the red tank in her hands, unscrewing the cap and getting a whiff of the pungent stench. she didn’t hesitate as she poured the gasoline around the room, the liquid sloshing and hissing as it spread. the smell of it mingled with the lingering scent of the alcohol, creating a nauseating cocktail that filled the air.

she sat on your side of the bed, her eyes fixated on the lighter. for a moment, she held it in her hand, the metal cold and heavy. she felt as if she were waiting for a sign, for some miracle to pull her back from the edge, but none came. no one was coming to save her from the end she had chosen. she had ruined her life, and yours too. it was a final act of defiance against the pain that had consumed her.

with a shaky breath, she tossed the lighter into the pool of gasoline. the flames ignited almost immediately, a brilliant, consuming blaze that spread rapidly through the room. joohyun watched, her face illuminated by the fiery glow, the warmth of the flames a contrast to the cold despair that had enveloped her. as the fire grew, so did her sense of finality. the flames danced and roared, consuming everything in their path. she sat amidst the chaos, her eyes vacant as she let the fire spread. she had become the sinner she felt herself to be, and now she had a hell of her own making. the house, once a place of memories and love, was now a testament to her ultimate surrender.

even as the fire spread, she could still see you. as her skin began to grow warm, all it did was remind her of your touch. nothing could compare to it, not even when her life was on the line. she had tried to be good for so long, but everything had finally come to an end. she had dreamt of a heaven, just to live in a hell of her own. it made her sick, it made her stomach churn. maybe this was how her mother felt. alone, helpless. maybe she died without a care in the world. that was how joohyun wanted to go out, without any pressure. but even as she laid back onto the bed, her fingers caressing your side, there was nothing but pressure. it wasn't the pressure of the fire’s warmth, but of the bed’s coldness. your side was still cold, as if the fire had died down, but it didn’t. and it wouldn't.

she let the fire engulf her surroundings, the smoke curling around her like a shroud. she didn’t move, didn’t try to escape. she was beyond redemption, beyond saving. she had chosen her fate, and as the flames reached towards the ceiling, she finally accepted that no one could save her from herself.

✧.*

a/n: this is a work of fiction and i had not intended on, not in a single moment, offending anybody. with that being said, if anybody feels offended by any aspect, let me know and the story will be deleted

[seollenda]

it’ll belong to us (unnie!irene x fem!reader high school au)

literally inspired by a clip of an irene fancall where she does fanservice pretending to be an unnie. + lyrics of “secret tape” by sunmi. will probably write sequels to this too lol

CW: just angsty fluffy ambiguous confessions/coming out

word count: ~1700

would you show me a little of your time?

i just need a little bit of it

—

“i’ll come pick you up after your exam.”

joohyun tapped your chin with a gentle finger, unable to suppress an amused smile at your crestfallen expression. “yah, i have school to go to too, you know.”

“that early?” you complained, even though you knew it was futile when bae joohyun made up her mind.

the older student looked at you for just a moment. or maybe not…?

“what do you want as an after school treat?” she slung her backpack onto her shoulder, moving toward the door.

“nothing.” you pouted, only to hear your unnie chuckle.

“uh huh. see you tomorrow afternoon!”

you sighed, locking the door behind joohyun and shuffling back to your late night cramming.

—

the next day was miserable, as math exam days went. you studied furtively in korean and english class, but by the time biology rolled around you couldn’t be bothered and just spaced out sleepily. the weather was beautiful out the window. you knew joohyun was in that direction, just half a kilometer away, probably in gym class and walking laps around the track arm-in-arm with her friends. how much you’d give, just to feel the sun on your skin and chatter with her for half an hour.

it wasn’t fair when the lottery assigned you to one high school, and joohyun to the other. it was comical, when you lived two doors down from each other. each morning, you met up early on the street to chat or exchange your mothers’ extra batches of banchan. joohyun’s activities as a student body vice president meant some mornings she had to depart way too early in the morning—today happened to be one such day. you’d usually see each other off with a good luck hug on big exam days like yours, but duty called joohyun.

you sighed, dropping your chin to the desk until the observant teacher called your name. one more class period…an awful exam…and then joohyun would walk across the neighborhood to pick you up, just as she promised. bae joohyun never broke her promises.

—

as expected, the exam ran overtime. you weren’t the last to leave the room, but you grew fed up with triple checking your answers and knew that joohyun had probably arrived at the school gates by now. you hopped up, dropping off your test before speed walking out the door.

“y/n-ah!” joohyun called, waving furiously to get your attention as if she wasn’t standing in her usual spot. a few students turned their heads with amused curiosity, one pair of your grade mates giggling to each other. you couldn’t bring yourself to care very much, skipping across the yard with a broad enough smile that drew delighted laughter from your unnie.

“hi joohyun unnie,” you said, peeking your head through the bars and miming being a prisoner. “will you set me free?”

“oh, stop fooling around,” joohyun rolled her eyes, reaching around the post to tug you onto her side. she smiled, reaching up to rearrange your disheveled bangs in her usual impulse. “how was the test?”

“it was fine.” you shrugged, not particularly interested in pursuing the topic.

“did you check your answers?”

“two and a half times.” you started to walk, towing joohyun away from the godforsaken institution. she fell into lockstep with you, her arm automatically looping into yours.

“two and a half?” her brows knitted, trying to decipher what that meant.

“i gave up on the third pass because i’d keep you waiting,” you admitted, trying at an appeasing expression. joohyun frowned.

“you…” she trailed off, giving up on the scolding. “i brought you bungeobbang. choux cream.”

“oh!” you beamed, accepting the greasy wax bag and taking a bite out the head of the fish bread. the filling was still warm and fresh. “you’re the best, unnie. i love you.”

joohyun laughed softly, and you watched from the corner of your eye as she briefly dipped her head away from you.

truth be told, joohyun was acting strangely lately. it didn’t quite make much sense, but she suddenly seemed both clingier and more reserved at the same time. you’d wracked your brain to try and remember if anything had happened to trigger this change, or if you had done something wrong. you couldn’t for the life of you recall anything specific.

“unnie, do you have to head home?” you asked, stopping at a quiet crosswalk. cross the street straight and you’d make it home; a left turn, and your feet would take you to your favorite cafe. having missed your morning meeting, you figured an hour or two at a cafe wouldn’t hurt.

“yeah,” joohyun answered immediately. “gotta work out a few logistics for the year end festival.”

“oh,” you said, let down for the second time. joohyun sighed, turning to grasp your hands in hers until you looked up at her.

“it’s the end of the year, us seniors have a lot to attend to,” she said gently. you wilted slightly. your year gap was something that you liked hearing less and less of.

because bae joohyun would, of course, graduate with perfect marks. then, she’d probably disappear north to attend some top seoul university, be a star student and the talk of the town up there, and forget little old you, back in your stinky old hometown.

it was a chance childhood connection and against all odds that someone like joohyun had a best friend like you. she was even the talk of your school, her reputation as the most beautiful girl in this whole town drawing boys from your school to peek into after school student body meeting windows.

she was looking at you with those pretty doe eyes now, pleading for your understanding and probably a little too hung up on what you had to say about her time.

“mmkay,” you sighed, trying not to look too pitiful. the walk light changed, and joohyun threaded her fingers through yours as you crossed the street together. she glanced over at you when she thought you wouldn’t notice, squeezing your hand once with a silent apology.

the walk was short, of course. you two stopped in front of your house, which was the closer one from your origin. she turned to look at you again, her eyes warm as she regarded you.

“talk to you later,” you said sullenly, but she caught your arm and kept you in place.

“i’ll ask my mom if you can come over for dinner, okay?”

you looked up at her, unable to ignore the unconcealed hope in her expression as she extended her olive branch. you sighed, pretending to consider her offer until she let out an annoyed whine.

“okay, fine.” you sighed dramatically.

joohyun nodded, her expression brightening. the conversation could’ve ended there, yet there was something that rooted the two of you in place.

“i’ll miss you,” you blurted, your gaze darting across her face as you tried to decipher bae joohyun’s penchant for unreadability. “when you graduate.”

the older student exhaled through her nose, still clutching your arm as if the northward wind would blow her away that instant.

“i’ll miss you too,” she said softly, and you knew she meant it. she tucked an errant lock of hair out of your face, her lips pressing into a saddened smile. “i don’t know what i’m gonna do without you.”

“you’ll be just fine,” you shook your head. “i’m not worried about you. who’s gonna bother me about triple checking my work?”

joohyun laughed weakly. “you don’t give yourself enough credit.” she rested a hand on your cheek, giving it a gentle pinch. “you’re a clever kid.”

she gave you that look, in moments when you grew acutely aware of the difference between the two of you. it wasn’t pity, or anything like that, rather a reminder that in some ways, you were always chasing after her.

“text me, all right?” you moved to turn and retreat into your house gate, but she kept a grip on your elbow. you looked up at her curiously, about to make a playful comment about how she seemed to like playing hard to get, when the look in her eyes made your thoughts stutter to a halt.

she pulled you into the shelter of your house gate, out of the narrow residential street, and kissed you. it was short and chaste, but on the lips, and it made your heart fairly stop in your heart. it was over as soon as it started, joohyun pulling away and her eyes fluttering open.

she looked at you as if you’d been the one to kiss her.

“sorry.” joohyun said, releasing your elbow. her cheeks were nearly red, you realized, her gaze fixed on the brick wall by your side. she sniffled softly, and your heart dropped.

“hey, don’t cry,” you reached out to grab the sides of her arms. “why’re we talking like this? it’s not like you’re leaving tomorrow.”

“yeah, i know.” joohyun laughed once, her lip trembling. you could see the panic growing in her eyes, as she began to realize what had happened. she started backpedaling. “sorry, i just…i got emotional and…i’m being weird, i'm so sorry—”

“you’re not weird,” you replied gently, automatically. “well, not for feeling this way, anyway.”

joohyun finally looked up, and her beautiful face was tragically, nearly poetically distraught. your best friend was not frequently vulnerable, not even around her family or close friends. it was all the unbelievably similar ways the two of you aligned that seemed to set joohyun at ease, unlike with anybody else in her life.

so maybe this had happened because she had seen it in you, too; in the way you’d looked at her for the past ten years of your lives, falling in deep before you knew what any of it meant.

you threaded your arms around her neck, pulling her close into a tight embrace.

“you’re not weird.” you muttered, and turned to press a sweet kiss to her cheek. a thousand emotions settled in the eye of the storm, until nothing mattered but memorizing the girl in your arms. “none of this is weird at all.”

joohyun melted into your hold, and you knew the relief that was washing over her, because you could feel it, too.

the exhale of a love that could breathe for the first time.

[kyuusberry]

behind — red velvet 6th member

𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝘁𝗶𝗻𝗴, 𝘀𝘂𝗶𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲, 𝗱𝗲𝗮𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘀, 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝘀𝘁, 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗮𝗿𝗶𝘀𝗼𝗻, 𝗲𝗻𝘃𝘆

𝗶𝗻𝘀𝗽𝗶𝗿𝗲𝗱 𝗯𝘆: 𝗻/𝗮

𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 𝟴𝟴𝟵

𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲𝘀: 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗯𝗿𝗮𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻 𝗼𝗳 𝗰𝗼𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗰’𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲?? 𝗶’𝘃𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝘄𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘁𝗲𝗻 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗯𝗲𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗶 𝗮𝗽𝗼𝗹𝗼𝗴𝗶𝘇𝗲 𝗶𝗳 𝗶𝘁’𝘀 𝗯𝗮𝗱! 𝗮𝗹𝘀𝗼 𝗻𝗲𝘄 𝗹𝗮𝘆𝗼𝘂𝘁!! :𝗗

© 𝗸𝘆𝘂𝘂𝘀𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆 𝟮𝟬𝟮𝟰. 𝗻𝗼 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁𝘀. 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴.

“joohyun unnie, isn’t this great?” you smiled, linking arms with irene. irene hummed in response, tightly holding onto you. “it is, yn. but where are the others?” irene sighed, only to let go of you and scream when she was surprised by yeri.

“kim yerim!” yeri smiled, feigning innocence as she tried to convince irene that it wasn’t her. obviously the camera caught it all, showing fans that everyone’s relationship was close.

it wasn’t all true, but you had to put on an act to convince fans. that you were the innocent choi yn. that you were perfect no matter what. the spotlight was always on you no matter what.

you were an idol after all. but things weren’t always fair.

“you need to lose weight. you’re getting fat.” your manager scolded you, your ears ringing. your manager’s voice sounded distant, distorted even. “did you even listen to me, yn?” your manager scoffed.

“from now onwards, till you lose 5k, you’re only allowed to eat rice. do you understand?” you winced at your manager’s tone, “yes, i understand.” you bowed towards him before heading out of the practice room.

you felt sick to your stomach, the days of not resting catching up to you. but you had to force yourself to be okay, for your fans. it was always for the fans. you just shook it off, heading towards the your van.

once you got into the van, you immediately went on your phone, scrolling through the infinite amount of comments of your recent instagram post.

“she’s so ugly 🤮🤮”

“my queen!! 🫶🏻🫶🏻”

“if yn has a million fans i’m one of them, if yn has 10 fans i’m one of them, if yn has 1 fan i’m that person, if yn has no fans then i’m dead, and if yn has the world against her, then i’m against the world”

“kys ㅋㅋㅋㅋ no one likes you!!!”

“so prettyy!!! my baby, yn 🥺🥺”

“yn one chance please!!! 🙏”

“all visuals and no talent ㅋㅋ”

“waste of space”

you always got about the same amount of hate and normal comments. but for some reason you just couldn’t stop focusing on the bad. it always affected you, but you had to hide it.

sometimes you even wondered why you became an idol, why you became a trainee in the first place. it’s almost been 10 years since your debut and you’ve always felt like you’ve been falling behind all of your members. that you weren’t good enough to be a member of red velvet.

so you constantly overworked yourself to the extent of passing out. but still, you weren’t good enough. you weren’t a good dancer unlike seulgi, or an amazing vocalist like wendy. not even an okay rapper.

constantly feeling like you were overlooked by your members. even if everyone was just talking. the constant jealousy you felt towards your members was overwhelming. you never felt like you could even be on their level. not once in all of the years you’ve been together.

“you alright, yn?” seulgi asked, moving a strand of hair out of your face. you forced a smile, the churning in your stomach making you wanna throw up. “i’m okay, unnie. don’t worry about me.” you gritted your teeth, forcing a small smile.

“whatever you say, yn.” seulgi rubbed your thigh, which was awfully comforting. “hey. unnie.. if i died, would you miss me?” seulgi was a bit confused by the question, but she answered anyways. “i would, yn. we’ve been together for over 10 years and it just wouldn’t feel right if one if our members were missing.” she smiled, your heart starting to ache.

suddenly your manager came up to the two of you, telling you two that it was your turn to get interviewed for the behind video. you nodded, sitting closer to seulgi for the act.

after filming you felt drained, your legs dragging against the concrete as you walked to unlock your apartment door. you just couldn’t take it anymore, the constant pain you felt in your chest. the overwhelming feeling of envy. you just wanted to disappear, to be able to lift the burden of holding your members back. we’re

cake girlies 💗

goodnight everyone, i love you.

no one replied, so you assumed that they were busy or sleeping. you held the rope in your hand, eyes teary.

person i love and adore ♾️

i love you mom, sorry i can't visit you often anymore.

you sent the same thing to your dad. it was late so you didn't expect any answers. you were glad no one responded, so you didn't have to keep up this façade any longer.

you set your phone down and closed your eyes, letting out a shaky breath. then everything just went black.

you and everyone else was laughing, irene almost falling out of her chair in the process. "joohyun unnie!" your eyes were teary from laughing too hard, accidentally hitting joy while teasing irene.

"yah! yn!" joy scolded you, "don't hit your elders!" you playfully rolled your eyes, "you're only a few weeks older than me!"

tears fell on the screen, irene holding the stuffed bunny you gave her for secret santa. "i'm sorry, yn. for not noticing earlier. i'm sorry that i was a bad leader. i just wish you would've told me earlier instead of keeping it in."

[multiphandomunnies]

Irene

better

not enough?

freezing

accidental

thank you

can’t wait (slightly *M*)

foreign arrangements

foreign arrangements part two

harry potter au

soulmate au

come with me…

lavender

what’s mine is yours

(*T*) online shopping

please don’t tease (*M*)

i want you here

(*T*) tic attacks

lovely

join me?

anything else?

highlighters

distance is fine

why do you need to know?

kissing irene

single mom au

this isn’t over

fluffy cloud

questions

heartbreak for your happiness

don’t lie to me

cold and stoic

something screamed

ms. popular

girlfriend irene

[nuoyipeach]

Take A Chance

Bae Joohyun X Johnny Suh

warnings: mentions of cheating

A smile plastered on Joohyun's face as she watched her friend fly the spoon of baby food around and make weird noises before landing the food into the confused toddler's mouth, her father then bouncing her on his lap with a soft yay. It was ridiculous how Seulgi and Taeyong changed as people the moment they had married, and almost entirely when they had their baby recently.

Yet it was something she yearned for. And if not for what happened a year ago, she reckoned she would have had the same change.

"Sorry Joohyun." Seulgi finally spoke again after having stopped for the time to feed the fussy baby. "So, what about it? It's gonna be just us adults, you know, friends only. We'll leave her with my parents."

Seulgi had proposed a night out for the friends, just the adults for old times sakes. Joohyun thought it was a good idea, but then realised this might be the first time she'd attend any gathering after an entire year. She dazed off thinking, and Taeyong suddenly poked her arm, making her turn to see the sad smile on his face.

"Don't be disheartened because of that." he knew what she was thinking about, and sighed nodding her head.

Taeyong was the one who caught her ex-husband first, along with Yuta. The two had gone out to meet some friends at a restaurant, when he caught sight of Donghae sitting at another table with a woman, and Taeyong knew it definitely wasn't Joohyun. He decided to ignore at first thinking maybe it's a formal meet or relative, but he couldn't, especially not when they were touching each other so much.

When they got up to leave, he dragged Yuta out with him to sneak behind and watched them entering the car together, and much to his dismay, kissing before driving off. Yuta's eyes widened, and the two went home to their women and discuss what should they do. They all knew Joohyun was as dedicated and loyal a wife as she was a friend, and they'd all hate to see her waste time on someone so horrible, but they also knew how this news would break her.

Seulgi decided they should think a little to which Taeyong and Sooyoung agreed, Yuta however ignored this and went to Joohyun the next day at her office, and told her everything.

Shocked was an understatement, everything around Joohyun had just shut off from her senses. The man she loved and committed her life to betrayed her. She wondered if it could be a misunderstanding or lie, but knowing Yuta she knew he'd never say or do anything without making sure of it first. She left early that day, went home, and as if to kill her even more, saw the woman in her house. It didn't take long before her friends arrived and helped her out of the situation, Taeyong luckily being a lawyer who helped her through the process quick and easy.

She was so ashamed, heartbroken, and full of hatred, that Joohyun refused to go out or meet anyone for the longest time, even avoiding family functions knowing relatives would ask questions.

It had been a year since then, and she knew her friends were only trying to help her out of the hole she had sunken into. She had known Seulgi, Taeyong and Sooyoung since highschool, then met Yuta and Wendy in college. Over the years they had become closest of friends, and while some ended up dating each other, Joohyun ended up getting asked out by Donghae, a coworker, during her internship. After five years of being together, including three years of marriage, she wondered where did it go wrong for him to betray her this way.

Putting all thoughts aside, she agreed to the gathering, and was soon getting ready for the night. Taeyong had arranged for them to meet up at a bar, just the friends and plus one for Wendy to bring her husband, who she met through a blind date back in university. The moment everyone had arrived, Yuta proposed a toast, as well as announcing his and Sooyoung's wedding date in two months, leading to a much louder cheer from them. They would be the last of the friends to finally tie the knot, but as happy as Joohyun was for them, she realised she'd become the only one single despite being the first to marry.

She again put all negative thoughts aside, and joined her friends in whatever they talked about as they kept the drinks coming. It wasn't long before some of them left for the dance floor, the girls urging Joohyun to let herself loose a little. Feeling a little drunk she decided to go for it and let herself go as her body flowed with the music.

A sudden push lead her to trip over her heels, but before she hit the floor, and arm had wrapped around her waist. "Are you OK?" she heard a man's voice, and finally looked to see who had helped her. She nodded, and the man pulled her to stand up while she fixed hersef.

She turned to him again and smiled. "Thanks."

"Bae Joohyun?" she stared in shock, a little scared but mostly confused, as the man mentioned her full name. "Oh my God it is you! It's me, Johnny, from basketball remember. You were my senior partner from the girl's team."

Joohyun stared even more confused, studying the man's face a little, until the memory clicked and she gasped excitedly. "Oh my God! You! Yes!" she watched a smile spread on Johnny's face before he suddenly hugged her. She stood a little shocked before laughing and hugging him back. "It's been so long!"

He let go and smiled at her, and she noticed the look on his face. "It really has. Let's sit and catch up?" he extended his hand, and she nodded accepting his offer. He lead her to a couple of empty seats at the bar and helped hoist her up the seat, then offered her a drink.

"Wow, I see you're still ever the gentleman." Joohyun chuckled, remembering how this man had the best manners back in college. She had been his basketball partner for the two years she studied there and grew close, but sadly lost contact after graduating and switching university. "God, it's been like eight years since we last saw each other."

"Yea, I've wondered what ever happened to you." he sat next to her, passing her one of the drinks served.

"Well, after diploma I went for a graduate, then started working in cosmetic product development... yea, that's all really." she kept a smile, though inside it felt like her conscious was scolding her for leaving out the whole Donghae part.

"Cool, I always knew you were gonna aim high." they shared a laugh as he spoke, and took sips of their drinks before he continued. "Well, I started working right after college, at this tech company. I'm still there, I made head of testing facilities recently actually."

"That is so amazing!" Joohyun exclaimed, genuinely amazed and happy for him. He shrugged, when the look in his eyes suddenly changed as she noticed his eyes follow her hand holding her glass, before looking back at her.

"So, are you single?" the question caught her off guard, her body going still as she wondered what or how to answer. "Sorry, I didn't mean to pry. Just noticed you had no ring on." Johnny quickly tried to explain himself, but she only felt like she couldn't drag on hiding her life like that.

Turning to him, she smiled, albeit sadly. "It's fine." she waved her hand, biting her bottom lip as she thought of her answer. "I guess you could say I recently am single." she looked to see his lips pursed as he nodded.

A sudden smile crept onto his face, which he failed to hide despite trying as his eyes met hers with a glint. "I don't know if you knew, but... I kinda crushed on you back then." he could only laugh at her reaction, her eyes wide followed by a awkward chuckle. "I know, it's weird saying it now. I thought you were so cool, smart, beautiful."

"Oh stop." she hid her face in one hand, the other hitting his shoulder playfully. Joohyun wasn't new to getting hit on, but hearing something like this from a past friend made her shy. Johnny could only laugh at her, before looking at her with a nervouse look.

"Actually... since you are single, maybe we could go out some time?"

Her mood halted again, a litte longer this time. Her eyes met his genuine ones, except hers were filled up shock, and a slight fear. She didn't know what she was scared of, but hearing someone ask her out suddenly made her feel upset. Despite how many times her therapist and friends told her not to let what happen ruin everything else, she couldn't help it, especially when it came to relationships.

Johnny seemingly waited, though she noticed his face had switched, as if he was scared he might have offended her or something. He was a good man, from what she remembered about Johnny, she wouldn't have been this hesitant if this was before everything that broke her.

Hastily she drank up the remainder of her drink, deciding to just be out right honest with him. "Johnny... you're a great guy, and honestly if it was some other universe I know I would have said yes right away. But..." she swallowed the lump in her throat, hand gripping her glass tighter as she tried to keep herself from breaking down in a public space. "I went through a divorce, a year ago. He... cheated on me. And I know I should move on and not let it affect my life so much, but I can't help it. We were together for 5 years overall, and having all that just thrown away like it meant nothing just..."

By now she couldn't help it as a soft sob left her, quickly turning away and covering her mouth to try holding it back. It must have been the alcohol and overflowing emotions, because she could feel she was not able to hold it in. Suddenly, a warm body enveloped her from one side, arms wrapped around her and pulling her into their chest tight, one hand rubbing up and down her exposed arm.

"Cry, don't try to hold it in. You need to feel it to really be able to move on." Johnny's deep voice resonated around her, any other sounds from the people or club having gone silent as she finally dropped her head and allowed her tears to escape.

A louder sob left her, followed by another, and before she could get any more Johnny quickly turned her head and pushed her face into his chest, covering over the sounds so that she didn't garner any unwanted attention. He took off his suit jacket and placed it over her from behind before hugging her again, arms tightening every time her body shook from the pain she felt inside.

It took a good few minutes before the crying stopped, Joohyun now simply resting against his body as she slowly picked back up her energy. Johnny's hands were more loose around her, one on her back while another patted her head. She sighed at the contact, not remembering when she last felt like this.

Definitely not any time around the end of her marriage.

Slowly she pushed out of his hold, taking the tissue off the counter to wipe her cheeks. "I'm so sorry..." her voice came out quiet and broken. "We just met again after so long, and the first thing I do is breakdown about my piece of shit ex-husband."

"Hey it's fine." Johnny pulled his seat closer and sat down, holding one of her hands in both his, smiling sympathetically. "Thing is, when I saw you tonight, my feelings that I thought were gone came back, and I thought I'd take a chance. But if you're still not ready for a relationship yet, I can wait."

She looked at him, shocked and confused by his words. "Why would you? For me? That's... not fair to you Johnny..."

He snickered shaking his head. "Then how about we stay in touch, for real. Keep up with each other from now on."

>>>

Her friends found her much later that night, but Johnny had left by then, and they had many mixed feelings about her interaction with him. Some saying break it off, others saying keep in touch, Joohyun in the end asked them to stop talking about it and that she needed some space. Truth was, after that episode of breaking down, she felt empty whenever something reminded her about her ex. Usually when reminded of him, she would experience sadness, pain in her chest.

But now as she walked past his favourite brand of coffee at the store, she felt nothing. A smile sneaked its way onto her face, and when she realised it she quickly walked away, weirded out by her own emotions. As she continued her grocery shopping, her phone dinged signaling an incoming message. She saw the name, and decided to just check it right away.

Johnny: hey, you free tomorrow?

hi, yea so far. why?

Johnny: lets hang out, meet me here [location attached]

It had been five days since their fated meeting, and since exchanging numbers, Johnny had texted her three times of simply asking how she was. Seeing this sudden invitation to hangout, she hesitated a little, thinking what could this mean. After a minute of mental debating, she huffed and decided to just go for it.

sure, what time?

Johnny: hows 4pm?

sounds good

Johnny: great! cant wait, bye

bye, see you

>

"OK, since it's a kinda last minute thing, go for casual." Sooyoung rummaged through Joohyun's closet, checking the clothes one by one. "Here, this top with white shorts would be perfect." she proceeded to pull out a green knitted top, full sleeved and cropped just a little, and some white jean shorts.

Joohyun stared at the selection, nodding without much expression and just proceeded to change while her friend continued to find matching jewellery and pick out the makeup. Her mind was too busy thinking about this meet up with Johnny, what were they doing, how would things go, why did he even ask her out like this.

She was sure after her breakdown he might not bother meeting someone still sad about a year old divorce, but now she was nervous actually seeing him again.

Not long after Joohyun was driving herself to the location Johnny had sent. She had checked and seen it was around the mall, so they must be going inside as she figured. Reaching the place, she parked the car and sent him a text announcing her arrival, and he immediately responded to meet in front of a specific restaurant inside.

Still confused, she followed his instructions, and soon saw Johnny standing in front of the place looking around as if to find her. Which was true because the moment he saw her, he smiled and jogged over.

"Glad you could make it." he gave her a quick hug, to which she responded trying not to think too much of it. "Come on, it's gonna be fun." he took her hand and tugged her along across the mall.

"Where are we going?" she finally asked.

"It'll be fun, trust me." he winked, and she smiled a little unsure in response. Though her expression immediately switched once he stopped in front of an arcade, both kids and adults buzzing around noisily adding on to the sounds already coming from the games and machines. "Ta-da!" Johnny waved his arms around.

"Uhm... games?" she didn't know how to react, but he could only laugh noticing her very confused state. He took her hand and headed inside, getting tokens for them, then dragging her to the basketball game.

"Hope you remember your moves."

From basketball, to air hockey, to some on screen fishing game, Joohyun mindlessly followed the man around playing more arcade games. One thing for sure she knew, she was oddly enjoying it all. After the fishing, he tugged her to the whack-a-mole game next and handed her the hammer.

"I'm not very good at this." Joohyun said, despite getting in position to play. Suddenly his body enveloped her from behind, hands holding the hammer over her own, and she was glad he wouldn't notice her flushed face.

"I'll help." she held in a shiver when hearing his low voice right next to her ear. Before she knew it, he had already moved her to hit one mole, and she quickly put her attention back on the game. "Just imagine the thing, or person, you hate the most as the moles."

She didn't know if there's was a hidden motive under his words, but the moment her mind visualised her ex-husband as the face on the animals, a sudden surge of tenacity filled up inside her and she started hitting the toys with the best precision and speed. Johnny's hands were no longer on hers, but instead he held her arms to keep her steady as she really took out her frustrations on the arcade game.

As the game ended, with the colourful lights blinking and red numbers showed her score, Joohyun released relaxed breaths as she realised how much tension had left her body.

"Damn, I wouldn't ever wanna get on your bad side." she turned to Johnny as he joked, clapping at her successful play. "Let's try one more thing, I have a couple of tokens left." he took her hand and guided her through the arcade in search for something to use up the remaining tokens, all the while Joohyun remained empty minded. It had been more than a year, and as much as she thought she was over the anger, today's actions proved her otherwise.

She looked up as they came to a halt I'm front of a bright white box. "Photo booth?" she said aloud when seeing all the pictures people had stuck. She turned to Johnny who shrugged, showing that it costed just enough to use up the last couple of tokens. Biting her lip, she let out a sheepish smile and nodded, glad he seemed happy as he pulled her in along with him.

They took three shots, and Johnny took his time carefully editing them adding stickers and quotes before letting them print two copies. He took them from the dispenser and showed Joohyun, who didn't realise how much she had been smiling until she saw the photo strips.

The last one they took, Johnny had an arm around her shoulder and their heads just touched. She remembered how spontaneous it was that it made her smile so much.

"This is a big keep." she looked at Johnny as he spoke, putting his strip into his wallet. She felt a weird tug in her chest noticing that, but thought nothing of it as they left the arcade. Although it still played in her mind continously as they ate a quick dinner, and when he walked her to her car, and even as she laid in bed at home, she couldn't erase the feeling she had when with Johnny the entire day.

>>>

For three months, Johnny had been calling her up and taking her out on spontaneous outings. She didn't know of she could classify these as dates knowing she set her boundary about not getting into relationships yet, and so far he's kept to it.

But every time Joohyun goes home, she finds herself thinking back to their time spent together and smiles to herself. She tried hard to snap out of it and suppress this weird feeling, but it never works as they're soon out together again for something as simple as lunch at a cafe. This night as she looked at herself in the mirror while doing her nightly routine, she thought about herself.

She hasn't felt this good in so long, she forgot when was the last time she put in the effort to look good on a daily basis. It made her feel good inside and out, seeing her nails done, her hair styled, and most importantly, her skin was back to its highest health.

All thanks to the company of one person.

"Are you sure about this?" she sighed hearing Seulgi's voice in the group call, along with Wendy and Sooyoung. "I just want you to make this a clear conscious decision. You're not looking for a rebound Joohyun, remember that, it'll only hurt you again."

"I know." Joohyun held her phone in her hand, her chat with Johnny opened for the past five minutes as she talked to her friends. "He's helped me throughout so much... even after I told him I'm not ready."

Wendy spoke up this time. "How about one date first Joo? And tell him exactly so. You wanna go on one date with him, and if it really ends well for you you'll continue the relationship."

"What if it doesn't?" the question Joohyun feared the most. "What if I don't like him that way, but I don't want to lose him at the same time..."

"You will." Sooyoung's determined voice caught her off guard. "Joo I've been dressing you almost every date, and trust me, I've never seen you this excited to meet someone before. Even with... you know." she cleared her throat, all girls knowing exactly what she meant.

Joohyun thought about it, and figured her friends were all right. All she had to do now was take the step and give this man a chance. Their feelings were pretty clear to her at least, all that's left was to see how he would treat her. Sighing, she finally typed away into the chat.

hey Johnny, would you like to go on a date Friday night?

Johnny: yes! dinner and dance?

"Wow he's fast..." she mumbled, loud enough for her friends to hear and laugh at how smitten this man seemed to be. She shushed them before continuing.

sure, how's 7pm?

Johnny: perfect! I'll pick you up then :D

>>>

Despite dressing up for all her previous outings with him, Joohyun still felt shy at her current choice. Or more like her friends' choices. Sooyoung picked her a short satin red dress with spaghetti straps, and a cropped black blazer over it. Seulgi picked for her black sandal heels wrapped around her ankle. Wendy finally added on tips for her makeup and hair, all kept simple yet sultry.

They knew exactly what Joohyun liked, and she was glad their help made her look and feel confident. But all that confidence washed away the moment she received Johnny's call that he was waiting downstairs. Taking a last glance at herself, and a few deep breaths to calm, she headed down to the elevator to meet him in front of her apartment.

The moment she stepped out of the building she caught Johnny standing outside his car, staring intently at her. She bit her lip, and grabbed her purse strap tighter as she slowly made her way to him.

"Wow." Johnny awed, eyes studying hers as she stopped in front of him and smiled back shyly. "You look great." he carefully held her hand, eyeing her expressions, before suddenly dipping down and left a soft lingering kiss on her cheek. "Hope that's OK?" he whispered pulling away, to which she quickly smiled and nodded.

They headed out for dinner at a fancy restaurant, throughout which Johnny had been the most gentlemanly she had experienced from anyone. He helped her with her chair, let her order first, and even pick their wine. As they spoke, she noted how he'd attentively listen to her, reacting when needed, and whenever he spoke he would maintain eye contact with her.

Everything about him captivated her.

And a dinner date felt too boring for her to spend time with him. As they finished eating, Joohyun set her cutlery down and looked up at him.

"Johnny." she called, to which he hummed in response, a little nervously albeit. "Shall we go to a bar after this? Maybe the one we met?"

"All of a sudden?" he chuckled, confused by her sudden plan.

Joohyun nodded enthusiastic. "I really like spending time with you, and I feel like it would be fun for us, if you'd like to I mean." she watched his expression as he seemed to think through, relieved when he smiled and nodded.

To his entertainment, Joohyun was quick to start enjoying herself as she made her way to the dance floor upon entering the bar. Johnny got them drinks, and once finishing it, he placed both their empty glasses back at the counter, all the time keeping her close within his sight.

"Come on Johnny!" he laughed as his date grabbed his hand and pulled him closer to the crowd, before she started waving herself around. He couldn't believe this was the same woman who was all shy before, and loved every bit of her fun side as he did her normal.

Joohyun couldn't have been any happier. She couldn't remember the last time she had so much fun with a man. As far as she could remember, her ex wasn't someone who enjoyed such things, meaning she had to cut back on wild parties with her friends way before they even got busy. But with Johnny, she couldn't stop smiling watching him match with her energy, while also making sure she was safe in her spot.

At some point she spun around so fast, she tripped and bumped right into him, Johnny catching her with his body and arms as they both shared a laugh. She knew she was intoxicated, but not so much to miss the look in his eyes as she stared at him in a daze. He had his arms around her waist while her hands held his shirt, and suddenly she felt all warm and fuzzy.

Johnny was definitely caught of guard when she suddenly relaxed into his hold, leaning herself against his chest as her arms went around his torso. He didn't mind it though, instead he was glad she felt safe and comfortable in his arms as she hummed when he moved them side to side to the music.

He chuckled when feeling her weight getting heavier against him. "Alright, wild girl, let's get you home. Hmm?" he waited until she nodded against his chest, and gently scooped her up in his arms before heading out to his car. He sat her in and buckled her up before getting in himself and driving back to her apartment, where he carried her on his back up to her door. "Passcode?"

"Five... two... six... five..." she mumbled against his neck, and he shook his head laughing as he put in the numbers and went through the door.

He took his shoes of first, then hers, then entered until the living room where he finally put her down to stand. "Alright, where's your room? You should wash up before going to bed." he instructed her, but was met with a sleepy pout and head shake.

"I don't wanna..." she pushed off his hands and stumbled to the couch. "Too tired..."

"Oh Joohyun." the man shook his head, both disappointed and humoured by her behaviour. He decided to just make her stand himself, figured out which was her bedroom, then pushed her towards it, and to the bathroom. "Alright, I'll stand right here, and you get washed first. No sleeping until you're cleaned."

With a whine, Joohyun shut the door, and he sighed in relief when hearing the water running. Johnny really did stand at the door, smiling to himself as he wondered how much he loved this woman. He wasn't going to admit it just yet, knowing it was too soon for either of them, but he already knew he did. After all those makeshift dates, and today's real one that turned so wild and fun, he couldn't help think about the woman on the other side of the door being one of a kind to him.

And he loved anything one of a kind.

The door opened, and he looked to see she had changed into her pyjamas that she left in her bathroom earlier that day. "There we go, fresh and clean." he held her face and squished it, laughing when she furrowed her brows at him. "Go on, get in bed."

"Wait..." she stopped him pushing her, suddenly holding both his hands. Johnny looked at her, confused by the sudden shift in her mood as she stared back nervously. "Will you... stay the night?"

Even more caught off guard, Johnny for the first time staggered. "Do you, uhm, want me to? Or not?" he asked. Joohyun looked down, biting her lips, before looking back up and nodded. "Sure then, if you're alright with it." he took her hand again and lead her to her bed, helping her get in and tucking her in her blanket. He wasn't sure what to do himself, so just sat on the empty side next to her, when she patted the other pillow.

"You can lay here..." she mumbled sleepily, to which he nodded and laid down next to her. "Thank you for everything Johnny..." she spoke through a sleepy smile.

Johnny smiled back, turning onto his side to face her, his hand unconsciously tracing the sides of her face. "I'm glad you had a great time." he whispered, keeping his voice low so as to not break her trance.

"I'm sorry it took me so long..." his smiled disappeared at her words, confusion and worry displayed instead. "I know it was unfair to you... but you made me realise I was still hanging onto the anger... and you helped me leave it... I feel ready to move on with my life, with you..."

Even in her sleepy daze, Joohyun noticed the surprised look on his face with his brows raised, causing her to smile lazily as she stretched her back and suddenly shifted closer to him. Johnny's hand on her face remained, this time combing through her hair.

She looked at him a little seriously. "Are we on the same page?" she asked, her eyes like a doe's.

"On what?"

"I can't guarantee how soon... but I like you, a lot... enough to maybe get married?" a sudden lump stuck in her throat. "But I'm scared... if you're not with me... or if the same thing happens again..."

Johnny didn't know how to react. He did think this far into his future, but it was more of a what if thing than serious consideration. Now knowing she had similar thoughts changes everything. They were both old enough to make these decisions with complete assurance, and he did want to settle down soon himself.

He cupped her face, rubbing his thumb against her cheek. "Sleep Joohyun. You're drunk and sleepy, you'll need a clearer head for these things." he smiled, pinching her cheek to keep her from getting sad before he continued.

"But I do promise, if when you're ready, I'll be there for you. I'd be a lucky man to marry someone like you. And I promise I'd never do anything to hurt you. Anyone who betrays a person they've made a commitment to are assholes, and don't deserve someone as amazing as you."

With a smile, and a tear welling in her eye, Joohyun finally shut her eyes and within a minute was fast asleep. Unable to help himself, Johnny left a soft kiss on her forehead before closing his eyes as well, his hand still cupping her face, a few last thoughts about the woman in front of him circling his mind.

Especially how he can't wait for her to progress even further, and he'd be there for her every step of the way and in the end.

>>>

Hello anon! I was honestly excited cuz it's my first time getting a JohnRene request so thank you for that😊 I hope you enjoyed the story, tho ngl I myself found the ending a little lacking, so maybe a part2?🤔 idk yet but if ur up for it lmk hahah again thank you for the request & I hope you liked it❤️

[sasakihimari]

←Part One, Strangers 2 Lovers

Lovers 2 Strangers

Warning: mature language; mentions of domestic violence; weapon usage

Genre: angst, fluff

Characters: kang seulgi; sasaki himari (original character portrayed by hirai momo)

Summary: What happens when two lovers bump into each other years later? Will their love resurface? Or will they be strangers to each other?

Author's note: Sasaki Himari is a character my sister and best friend created for different motives, however I have decided to use her with the intention to portray the reader being involved in the story for my fanfics simply because I adore the character and want to give her some exposure. You may replace her name with yours if it is of your preference, I just have a hard time continuously writing [Y/N] for an entire fanfic and figured this would be a easier way to do a Character x Reader fanfic.

Caution: Please keep in mind that I do not mean any hate towards any idol that might be mentioned in this fanfic and every idol's personality will be adapted and changed accordingly to fit the storyline. I love all the girls mentioned and would never speak ill of anyone.

Word Count: 9364

Now without further adue, let's get started...

❝Hana!❞ she cried out rushing behind the little infant, who ran around the house on tiny wobbly legs. ❝Be careful!❞ she'd cry out every time her heart dropped to her stomach as she watched the infant lose balance.

Sighing, Sasaki plopped down on the couch, absolutely exhausted, as the infant rested upstairs finally out for her afternoon nap. When Min and Kim had mentioned several times how having a child was no joke, she didn't fully take them seriously. And it wasn't that she regretted having Hana, but she certainly regretted not having their words taken into consideration to prepare herself.

Cherry 🍒 chat opened

Kyong, Ji-eun, Su-jin, Ae-ra and Mari

Ae-ra: [attachment photo]

Su-jin: Congrats on the pregnancy!

Ji-eun: Oh my, congrats!

Mari: Congratulations! And good luck.

Ji-eun: Oh! This reminds me! How's life going, unnie?

Mari: ... -_-

Kyong: Congrats!

Cherry 🍒 chat closed

Tossing her phone aside, Min let out a happy sigh as her head rested against her husband's chest. Their little ones both in school. Miyoung had just started first grade and DaeSeong was now in forth grade.

❝Jagi?❞ her voice soft, sleepy even as she tilted her head just enough to look at him and he looked down to let her continue, ❝I've been thinking... We have an extra guest room that's never been used.. what if I invite Mari to spend a few days here? Me and the girls haven't seen her since we left Seul. All of us can easily meet up since we don't live too far away but her.❞

❝Of course, honey. Just let me know when she's coming over. I know you miss her with her being all the way over in Japan.❞ he said offering her a tender smile before pressing a gentle kiss upon her head. Of course that she quickly stretched over to grab the phone she previously tossed. She dialed Himari's number and waited. Ringing once, twice...

❝GAH! No, no, no!❞ she rushed to answer the phone before the loud noise woke her infant from the nap, ❝I would have murdered you if Hana had woken up.❞ It was the first thing she said the second she had brought the phone up to her ear.

❝Geez, is that how you great your bestie?❞ she heard from the other line, followed by her best friend's laughter.

❝Is everything alright?❞ Sasaki asked now calmer, a sigh of relief escaping her lips as she checked the little screen on the baby monitor and Hana seemed unbothered.

❝Yes, yes! Everything's fine. Anyways, I'll go straight to the point. I've been thinking and I've talked to Changbin about it and he's on board with it so, what are your plans for the next few months?❞ Ji-eun spoke, a little too fast, which tented to happen when she was excited, earning herself a giggle from Himari.

❝Um.. I'm on family leave for indefinite time? Why?❞ a brow wrinkled as she awaited an answer. To say that she was confused would most definitely be an understatement, the tall female was beyond lost.

❝Why don't you and Hana come stay over for a few weeks? We can go out for lunch for the rest of the girls! And you can explore South Korea with Hana this time!❞ she squealed, nearly deafening the poor brunette on the other side of the call.

Himari paused. Going back to Korea could lead to a whole black hole of possibilities. Would she be okay if she accidentally ran into Seulgi? Would she breakdown? What if Seulgi had completely changed? But she missed them, all the cherry girls and the Red Velvet girls. But she'd never dare to meet with any of Red Velvet members.

❝Hello? Mari? You there? Hello?❞

❝Shit, um sorry... Um, sure. I would love to.❞ She said and Min let out a deafening squeak.

❝I'll see you tomorrow!❞ she exclaimed making Sasaki's eyes to open as wide as ever. Tomorrow!? How was she supposed to pack for her and Hana plus get tickets in such short notice!? To say that she panicked was.. being nice. The girl tossed the phone on the couch leaving Ji-eun talking to herself as she rushed to her computer to buy tickets.

Once purchased, Himari rushed into her room as quietly yet quickly as she could pulling out her suitcase from the walk-in closet and throwing it open on the bed before she started going through her clothes. Packing quite a few outfits for the following weeks she'd be away but before she could finish, the loud, deafening cries of the lungful infant were made heard down the hall and she threw whatever she was holding to the bed for further analysis as she went into Hana's yellow themed nursery.

❝Shhh, it's okay, mama's here.❞ she'd sooth as she scooped the child into her arms, pressing a kiss to her forehead as she walked to the armchair in the corner, sitting down and allowing the infant to latch herself to her breast. The phonecall never once crossed her mind again and if Ji-eun was awaiting her return, she could sit there all day. ❝Mama's taking you to see a new place, isn't that exciting?❞ she spoke ever so softly, a warm smile on her lips as her eyes met Hana's tiny orbs that lovingly stared up at her as she ate, all you could hear from her were little content coos muffled by the chest of her mother. Her little fingers wrapped around Sasaki's index finger.

Burping her as Hana finally released her food source, Sasaki sat her in the rather big playground on an opposite corner of the room for Hana to play while she reached for a second suitcase to pack Hana's clothes, diapers, wipes, hygiene products such as baby oil, shampoo and body wash to a baby toothbrush and toothpaste to brush the very few teeth she had, a few teething toys and little blankets. Of course she then prepared her daughter's bag with diapers, wipes and creams for her to bring with her into the plane as well as a backpack with her wallet, iPad and her Huawei phone.

Of course she had bought tickets for tomorrow at 5am, out of pure luck they were the only ones available. So now it was past midnight and she couldn't seem to put Hana to sleep so she could get some rest. But she had to be up as early as three in the morning to be at the airport by four.

Finally having set Hana in her crib out cold, she flopped onto the queen sized bed of her bedroom, falling asleep as fast as a snap of a finger. She was exhausted so it wasn't hard.

With the tiny asleep infant attached to her chest by the baby carrier, Himari had checked in and the suitcases had been taken from her with her respective identification on the handles and was now in line to board the plane. In a way, it came in handy it took her so long to put Hana down because now the little girl slept peacefully as her head rested on Sasaki's chest but on the downside, she was exhausted, an hour and a half of sleep barely did her any difference than having pulled an all nighter.

Upon landing, she went to collect her suitcases, a crying infant attached to her. The flight was two and a half hours long and Hana had awoken on the last half hour left. She had fed her as well as changed her, but Hana was in discomfort due to the new teeth pushing through the gums.

❝Shhh, it's okay, mama knows, sweet girl.❞ She'd say in an attempt to sooth her as she looked for the girls. When her eyes saw them, a bright smile plastered across her face, ❝You're gonna meet some of mommy's bestest friends today.❞

❝Mari!❞Ae-ra and Ji-eun exclaimed running towards her and she couldn't help but to chuckle at the excitement written all over the two girls' faces. The recently completed one years old infant seemed to hush, her tine hands grasping her mother's shirt in her fists.

❝Hi! I've missed you, guys!❞ Sasaki said with a smile as Kyong and Su-jin approached them. Of course that followed by them came a stranger she'd ever only seen from pictures. Changbin, Ji-eun's husband and two little angels holding each of his hands, ❝Is that your husband?❞ she playfully asked, ❝Pleasure to finally meet you, I've heard plenty about you.❞ she said now turned to him, setting down one of her suitcases to hold out her hand.

He chuckled, taking her hand, ❝Same goes around, my wife blabs alot about how you're the only one who doesn't live in Korea and she hasn't seen in years. It is nice to finally meet you.❞

As Ally took the children's hands, he insisted on helping Mari with the suitcases since she already carried an infant, a backpack and her daughter's bag, ❝It's not needed, seriou-❞ before she could even finish, he had already taken them and walked away making Min and the kids chuckle before she gestured with her head for you to follow them.

Ally strapped the kids to their respective carseats and hopped into the passenger's seat of the seven seat car next to the driver's seat. Sasaki strapped Hana to the little baby carseat they had installed for her. It was Miyoung's old carseat.

❝You really thought of everything, huh?❞ Sasaki chuckled, hopping into the seat next to her daughter's carseat.

❝Of course, it was my idea.❞ she laughed, looking back over her shoulder and once everyone was buckled up, her husband took off. Kyong, Su-jin and Ae-ra had already hopped into their cars and driven off to meet with them at Ally's house.

Pulling into their driveway, Mari found herself dumbfounded. And she thought her house was large.

❝We got one of our kids' old crib in your room so Hana can have her sleep, as well as the baby monitor. Don't ask, okay? We had been trying to gain the courage to give it to people but we just couldn't part with our kids'things.❞ she said as Himari hopped off the car and picked Hana into her arms. She grabbed her backpack and Hana's bag before going to get her suitcases only for Changbin to have taken them already.

❝Seriously, you need to tell your husband to chill. I'm not fragile.❞ Himari stated, half joking half honest, she didn't want to be a bother to anyone. He was already nice enough to have agreed to Ji-eun inviting Mari over for a couple weeks.

❝He's always like that. So get ready. He barely lets me do anything around the house as if I don't kick asses for a living.❞ she said with a chuckle, she had grown used to it and honestly it didn't mind her as much as it used to.

They all sat at the dining table. And by all I mean the Cherry girls along with their families while Hana sat in the highchair next to her mother's seat.

❝I'm so glad to see you less gloomy. Deciding to have a kid of your own to raise by yourself did you some good.❞ Su-jin teased, stuffing her mouth with the last bit of food in her plate.

❝Yeah, I agree. Don't you think it is time you find someone tho?❞ Kyong made the mistake of speaking without thinking and Sasaki's smile vanished without a trace and she looked down at her plate, picking at the food.

❝Solar!❞ Min scolded, she knew better than to mention a touchy subject like live.

❝What!? She can't possibly be hang on Seulgi unnie still! It's been almost four years...❞ she didn't see what she had said wrong. But that earned her a 'just shut up' look from both Ji-eun and her husband. ❝Quit looking at me like that! I'm speaking fac-❞

❝Ssss-sss-Seulgi.❞ Himari's head jolted up with widened eyes as she blankly stared at her daughter as everyone fell silent. All the girls had widened eyes and shock written all over their faces.

❝Mama.. mshbf.. Seulgi!❞ the infant sloppily clapped her hands with little giggles and babbles. No one dared to open their mouth. ❝Seulgi! Mama!❞ she babbled again.

❝I- O-out of every word... H-Her name had to be your second word?❞ Himari stuttered out. She was proud her daughter had managed to speak another word but her heart ached at the sound of her name. Pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead, she excused herself ❝Su-jin, could you keep an eye on her for a minute? ...Thank you, please excuse me.❞ she exited the dining room to take a deep breath. 'God damn you, Kyong... Why did you have to bring her up..?❞

Washing her face on the bathroom sink, Sasaki let out another frustrated yet hurt sigh. Her face was clean, however she couldn't hide the red, puffy eyes of hers from the tears she silently let go of. That's when someone knocked on the door.

❝Aunt Mari..?❞ the voice was soft, too soft to belong to an adult which made her frown and slowly open the door. The six year old ran to her, wrapping her arms around both legs of the adult.

❝Miyoung?❞ it came out as a question, confused with the situation.

❝No sad.❞ the little girl said looking up at her and Mari couldn't help but to let out a chuckle. Such a precious kid.

❝Alright, alright. No sad.❞ she chuckled taking Miyoung's hand as the two returned to the dining room. ❝Where's Hana?❞

❝Su-jin took her to change her diaper.❞ Ae-ra- answered with a soft smile and Sasaki nodded. Ji-eun and Changbin started gathering the plates and glasses and taking them to the kitchen loading them into the dishwasher. Sasaki nodded and went to find both her friend and her daughter.

❝There you are. I told you mommy would be quick, see?❞ the girl said in a baby voice, it was weird to see Su-jin act like that but Sasaki shook it off, letting out a soft chuckle as Su-jin handed Hana to her.

Time seemed to fly by as the five of them, along with their families talked and played games in the Mom's living room and now, they were bidding their goodbyes at one another. Before they knew it the sun had set, the kids were all asleep in their respective rooms and so was Ji-eun's husband out cold in their bed as the two girls laughed and talked outside, sitting on the porch' steps.

❝We should probably get some sleep.❞ Sasaki said with a chuckle as she looked at the watch embracing her wrist. They'd been sitting there for an hour now and it was getting late.

❝Oh shit. Right.❞ the two then went inside and wished each other a goodnight before they went their separate ways.

RIIIING RIIIING RIIIING

Groaning, Sasaki turned the alarm off before Hana woke up to it but it was too late as the infant started crying. Slipping her feet into the slippers by the bed and picking her daughter into her arms, ❝Shhh. It's alright, mommy's right here.❞ she rocked her gently in her arms as her cries softened until she started cooking up at her mother, ❝Only you to make mama happy this early in the morning.❞ Sasaki chuckled, pressing a kiss to her daughter's forehead before feeding her. Once fed, burped and changed, Himari sat her in the crib with a teething toy to go get ready for the day.

❝Good morning.❞ she greeted Changbin with a smile, Hana attached to her hip, ❝Is Ji-eun still asleep?❞ she asked him, who nodded his head making her shake her head. Still the same sleepyhead. ❝I'm gonna take Hana for a walk to let her see around. Maybe go to a park. Just in case she wakes up and asks.❞

He nodded, ❝Alright, I'll let her know. Do you want a stroller for Hana? I'm sure my wife still has Miyoung's somewhere in the basement.❞

❝Really? That would actually be great, she's quite heavy after a while. Gamsahapnida.❞ Sasaki chuckled.

❝Hold on then, I will be right back.❞ and with that said, he left only to return a few minutes later with a dark grey stroller, ❝Here you go, I knew she hadn't thrown it away.❞ he said as he mounted the stroller for her.

❝Oh- You didn't have to, thank you.❞ Sasaki said with a smile, setting Hana down on the stroller and securely strapping her. ❝Have you ever thought about why she might be keeping this stuff?❞

❝No? Because she's emotionally attached?❞ his brow wrinkled at the question.

❝Perhaps she wants another child?❞ she teased him and his eyes went wide.

❝Why? As she said anything? Has she told you that?❞ he panicked making her start laughing.

❝Relax, I'm just joking. She never mentioned anything... Or did she?❞ and the relieved sigh he was about to release turned into widening eyes yet again, ❝Anyways, bye! Thank you for the stroller and all the help!❞ and with that said she walked outside, leaving him to wonder what she could possibly mean with that.

Pushing the stroller around, Sasaki stopped by a park she was walking by. Since there didn't seem to be too many children, she walked over to a bench and unstrapped Hana from the car letting her wobbly run off to play around, ❝Be careful!❞ she cried out with her heart in her hands, the only kids there were on the other side of the park since they were much older than her infant. Sitting at the bench, she watched a couple of twins wobbly approach Hana who came running back to her mother, ❝It's okay, Hana. They want to play with you.❞ they seemed to be around her age.

That's when someone sat besides Sasaki, looking through what looked like a baby bag and Himari's eyes went wide and she quickly turned to watch Hana giggling and playing around with the twins.

❝Mari!?❞ the oh so familiar voice called out in shock. It had been too long since that day. Too much had happened, ❝I-Is that really you..?❞ her voice broke as Himari couldn't help herself but to look into those brown eyes. She hadn't changed a thing.

❝Seulgi...❞

❝W-When did you get back..? W-Why didn't you tell me..?❞ she asked, her voice low as she bit back the tears that flooded her vision.

❝Yesterday... Y-You broke up with me remember..?❞

Two years ago

Her phone dinged, indicating a text had been received and a smile quickly formed across the brunette's lips only to be replaced by a hurt expression as tears swarmed her eyes.

[From Bear🐻] I can't do this anymore... I'm sorry...

[From Bear🐻] I love you.

[From Bear🐻] But I can't live like this...

Too hurt, Sasaki threw her phone across the room with a scream. It hurt too much. For the next few weeks, she wouldn't even bother to eat. She just laid there, sulking into her bed.

And it took her a long time to pull herself together and go back to work, and it took her boss a lot more work to help her get through the heartbreak.

❝I- Mari... You know neither of us could keep living like that...❞

❝Do you know how long it took me to get back from that..? It took me months. I didn't want to do anything. I kept thinking "what if she hates me now?" "Did she really mean those three words?" "When did it go wrong? When did I do something wrong?" "It's my fault" "You deserve it". But I never got to know... Because all you said was you loved me and yet you left me.❞ her voice was low, hoarse from crying. ❝But I'm the stupid one here... because even after two years I look at you the same way I did when we were together. Because no matter how long it has been. You're still the one holding my heart.❞

Seulgi found herself speechless, unaware of what to say. She had never gotten over her herself, but she had to keep pushing through regardless.

Sasaki wiped her tears as Hana ran up to her holding the twins hands, all of them giggling.

❝Mama! Mama! Fwiends!❞ she babbled out. Seulgi's eyes went wide.

❝She- She looks just like you... I-❞ Seulgi stuttered out wiping her own tears.

❝Mama! Hana fwiend!❞ the little girl said with the brightest of smiles.

You have your mother's smile... Sasaki thought to herself.

❝We should get goi-❞

❝NO! Fwiends!❞ Hana yelled, throwing a tantrum before running off and the twins following her. Both Seulgi and Mari stood there with widened eyes.

❝I-❞ Hana had never thrown a tantrum before. She was always well behaved and always so shy and quiet. It had Sasaki beyond shock.

❝Mari...❞ Seulgi's voice called softly as Himari sat back down with the shock, ❝Who is he..?❞

❝None of your business. But fyi, like I told you. You're the one who holds my heart. I had Hana by myself.❞ she said, looking at her right in the eyes before looking away and down at her lap, ❝But had kids of your own, I hope you're happy.. I really do.❞

❝I'm not-❞

She started, but Mari was already walking over to scoop Hana up who began to kick and throw tantrums in her mother's arms.

❝Hana! Stop! I'm gonna drop you!❞ she cried out carrying her to the stroller.

❝No! Mama! Seulgi! Fwiends!❞ she cried kicking and hitting her mother and her eyes went wide.

❝Did she just-❞ Seulgi started, not knowing what to think of it.

❝It is not what you think.. Solar mentioned you yesterday at lunch and she started saying your name... Not that you would care anyways.❞ she coldly said, her voice sounded so hurt as she strapped her daughter in the stroller who threw a tantrum.

❝Seulgi! Fwiends!❞ the infant cried pointing at Seulgi herself who had the twins next to her now.

❝H-How-❞ Sasaki stuttered out frozen in place. This couldn't be happening. Seulgi seemed just as shocked sitting there blinking at the infant who freed herself and attached herself to the unknown woman. Unknown to her, that is.

❝Hana, Ally's waiting for us.❞ she tried but the kid didn't seem to budge from Seulgi's leg.

❝Sweetie.. you have to go with your mama...❞ Seulgi tried but the infant took hold of one of Seulgi's fingers trying to pull her up to go with them.

Why did you have to be such a cute bear..? Himari sighed watching as Hana attempted to drag her and Seulgi seemed to compell to her wishes.

❝You- You still think I'm cute..?❞ Seulgi had frozen in her tracks and her words made Sasaki freeze too. Had she thought out loud? Had those words truly left her mouth? How could she be so stupid? ❝I think we should talk... Straighten things out between us...❞

Yeah, straighten isn't the best choice of words... We both know there's nothing straight about neither of us... Himari's eyes widened watching as a pink shade coated Seulgi's cheeks. Cute...

She would go back to her in a heartbeat... And everything would be different. She'd stay. As long as she got to keep her, she'd stay. She'd find another job. But she isn't a homewrecker, she couldn't. She wouldn't even dare to try to get her back. She has a family now, and she? She wasn't part of it. And she will never be.

❝There's nothing I have to say to you. Just- Be happy for me, will you?❞ she collected Hana, setting her on her hip and this time she didn't try to get away, she blinked up at her mother with teary eyes.

❝S-Seulgi bad? Fwiends bad?❞ the little kid babbled trying to understand why her mother seemed to want to walk away from them.

❝No, honey. Your friends aren't bad... They have a wonderful mama. Ally is waiting for us, that's all. The infant nodded then pointing at the stroller Mari pushed with her free hand. She sighed and sat her down, securing her daughter with the straps of the stroller.

I'm sorry Seulgi-ah... I love you... But I can't have you.

With tearstained cheeks, the two girls got back to Min's place and Ji-eun came rushing to the front door with a smile that instantly disappeared watch both the infant and her mother's tearstained cheeks.

❝Wha-What happened!?❞ she exclaimed out of concern. What could have possibly made her cry- No way... She couldn't have.. no, that's impossible. What are the chances..? Ji-eun thought to herself before rushing them into the living room where Changbin sat. ❝Jagi, could you please watch over Hana for a few?❞ once he agreed, she took Sasaki's wrist and dragged her towards her room upstairs making her stumbled all the way there.

❝Yah! Are you out of your mind!?❞ she grumbled freeing herself from Min's hold, rubbing her wrist, ❝Aish...❞

❝You saw her, didn't you?❞ she went straight to the point. Catching her off guard with that question, Sasaki lost balance, stumbling back as she fell into Ji-eun's bed. ❝Oh my God! You did! What happened!? Are those happy or sad tears!?❞

❝... Do I look happy to you? Tsk. What kind of question is that? It's been too long.❞

❝So? You love her, don't you?❞ Ji-eun asked with a tilted head, unsure of what seemed to be the problem.

❝So? It doesn't change anything. She broke up with me. To start a family. With someone else.❞ her hands clutched into fists as she clenched her jaw. As much as she wanted to be happy for her, her heart still ached. She was jealous. She wanted to marry her back then.

Three years ago, South Korea

❝Promise?❞

❝Promise.❞

Her fingers brushed through the beautiful brunette locks of her girlfriend's. She hadn't felt this at peace since her childhood when money wouldn't even cross her mind.

"I will marry you someday." Mari thought to herself as she looked down, gazing into her girlfriend's brown orbs. Everything about her was just so perfect.

❝Jagi? What are you thinking about?❞ she asked poking her nose as she stared up at her, her head on Sasaki's legs.

❝Hm? Oh, nothing. Just of how beautiful my girl is.❞ she said with a tender smile and Seulgi's cheeks were coated by a bright shade of pink.

She couldn't think of Seulgi laying with someone else without it making her want to punch them. But she would never do that to her. Seulgi didn't deserve that, no matter how much it had broken her.

Meanwhile at Kang's household, Seulgi had gotten home with the twins, tearstained cheeks on the three of them. The second her husband appeared, she quickly tried to wipe their tears as well as their own. But it was too late and he had seen them already, clutching his hands into balls.

❝Su-ryeon, Seok-hun.. go play.❞ his voice hoarse with anger as he pointed at the door of their playroom and the two infants nodded before wobbly running into the room. With the baby monitor on, he closed the door and stormed towards Seulgi who immediately flinched, closing her eyes ready for the impact.

He took a tight grip around her wrist before dragging her upstairs to their shared bedroom, ❝O-Ow! Y-You're hurting me!❞ and he smirked at that.

❝WHAT. DID. YOU. DO. TO. THEM!?❞ he yelled at her, slapping her between every word and tears quickly swarmed her eyes yet again.

❝I-I didn't d-do anything! I-I swear! I-I took them t-to the park and they met a li-little girl but the other mother had to lea-eave.❞ she cried out, trying to explain herself only to get a punch to her stomach. She fell onto the floor coughing up blood as she held onto her stomach.

❝Shut up! I should have taken them from you! You. Are. An. Awful. Mother.❞ he spit it out at her, kicking her yet again, he knew what those words did to her and it made him smirk.

She was silent, a few whimpers accidentally escaping her as he kicked her again before yanking her up from the floor, ❝Do what you do best and stay. in. your. place.❞ he retorted, throwing her to the wall and a loud whimper escaped her lips before she passed out, falling unconscious to the floor.

He smirked , picking her up and laying her on the bed before going back downstairs and into the playroom.

❝Appa!❞ the little boy and girl stood up excitedly, oh he was so good at hiding his wrongdoings. ❝Mama?❞ Su-ryeon asked looking up at him with a tilted head.

❝Don't worry, mama needed to get some rest, okay? Shhh.❞ he softly spoke, ❝What happened today? Why were you crying?❞

❝Fwiend had to weave...❞ they pouted looking down at the colourful floor.

❝Oh.. did mama tell you to say that?❞ he asked with his jaw clenched and both the little boy and girl shook their head no.

❝No, mama sad too.❞ Seok-hun tried explaining and the father nodded.

❝You don't know that... She could have decided to be a mother the same way you did.❞ Ji-eun suggested.

❝I saw the wedding ring on her finger, Ji-eun. I'm not stupid. Do you see anything like that in my hands?❞ she rose both her hands to show her before sighing and flopping down on the bed facing the ceiling making Ji-eun sit next to her with a sigh.

❝If that's the case... You need to let her go, Mari...❞

❝Do you think I haven't tried!? But everything reminds me of her. Here, in Japan, every minimal think remains me of her. It doesn't matter where I look, she's everywhere in my mind.❞ Sasaki sighed, wiping the new tears that had rolled down the sides of her face. ❝Can you watch over Hana for a while? I need to get some air...❞ she stood up and Ji-eun nodded.

She walked downstairs with Ji-eun, Changbin had Hana sitting on his lap as he played with her to keep her entertained, ❝I think he's more than happy to.❞ Ji-eun chuckled softly trying to cheer the older female who simply nodded, making her way out of the house with her phone. She put her earbuds and opened Spotify, playing Fine by Taeyeon as she started walking around without any destiny when she bumped into someone.

❝M-Mari..?❞ a weak, yet familiar voice called her name.

❝Y-You aga- What happened to your face!?❞ she cried out as her hand reached for Seulgi's bruised face ever so gently.

❝N-Nothing. I-I just mistepped and fell of the stairs at home.❞ the way her eyes adverted immediately to the floor, made Sasaki's blood boil.

❝Stop lying to me. Who did this to you!?❞

❞...My husband...❞ she mumbled under her breath and Sasaki froze in place.

❝You left me for someone like this!?❞ Mari took Seulgi's hand carefully before dragging her to Ji-eun's house.

❝You don't understand... It wasn't like that... H-He was threatening to find you and hurt you if I didn't!❞ she cried out following behind her.

❝W-What..? Why didn't you tell me!? I-I would've come right away... I would've kick his ass!❞

❝That's exactly why I didn't tell you... To keep you safe.❞ she let a few tears escape her eyes, sighing as they entered the house so abruptly it startled everyone but Hana who slept upstairs.

Sasaki didn't say a word to Ji-eun as she dragged Seulgi to the nearest bathroom, ❝God damnit, Ally! Where do you keep your first aid kit?❞ she muttered under her breath looking for one until she finally got her hands on one and quickly opened it.

❝Stay still.❞ the brunette said, pouring some chlorhexidine into a cotton swab before gently cleaning the open cut on her lip and Seulgi whimpered in pain.

❝What the hell just happened?❞ Min asked blinking in confusion as she stared out the living room door after watching Sasaki drag a bruised Seulgi inside.

❝I don't know! She left basically on the verge of tears and next thing I know she's walking inside looking pissed.❞ He shrugged, Hana sitting in his lap as the three of them looked at the door confused, Hana with her head tilted trying to understand why both adults stared that way.

❝How could you let him do this to you?❞ she asked, her fist clutching at the thought of him harming Seulgi, who flinched whimpering. Making Sasaki to step back in shock, she couldn't have thought she'd hit her right? ❝I-❞

❝Mari, I-❞ she couldn't finish her sentence as Sasaki walked out of the bathroom. Seulgi slowly walked out of the bathroom, only to find Himari standing there with tears in her eyes. ❝It's not like that, I swear... I would never once think you'd hurt me...❞ her arms wrapped tightly, ❝It's just- It's something my body does automatically... I guess it's somehow a defence mechanism... I-I'm sorry. I-I'm brok-mmmpf!❞

Sasaki couldn't take this any longer so she smashed her lips against hers, shutting her up. ❝Come to Japan with me.❞

❝What about the tw-❞

❝Don't worry about that, I'll take care of it. I'll bring them back to you, safe and sound. I promise. I won't let him take them. But you can't go back to that place. He'll kill you if he finds out.❞ Sasaki stated and Seulgi nodded with tearful eyes, ❝Where do you live?❞ With worried eyes, Seulgi hesitantly gave her the address. With a kiss pressed to Seulgi's forehead, Sasaki walked into the living room and dragged Ji-eun out of there before she spoke, ❝Where's your gun?❞ she asked making Ally's eyes widening in shock, worry and surprise.

❝W-Why? What happened!?❞

❝There's someone I need to get, but I need protection just in case something goes wrong.❞

❝What are you gonna do?❞ Min asked worriedly, afraid of what she might do.

❝I'm gonna get Su-ryeon and Seok-hun from their abusive father.❞ she spoke with such certainty. She had set her mind to it, there was no stopping her now.

❝Let me help you.❞ Ji-eun spoke but Sasaki quickly shook her head no.

❝No matter how things go, I will not be dragging any of you into this.❞ she stated and Ji-eun nodded leading her her safer, picking the gun out.

❝Thank you. If something goes wrong, don't let him hurt them.❞ she said putting the gun behind her back, stuck between her back and the waistband of the pants before pulling her shirt down to cover the rest of it. And with that said and done, Himari took off, driving off to the address Seulgi had given her.

She stopped by the front door with a smile, knocking on the door when a man opened the door, ❝Who are you? And why are you at my doorstep?❞ he asked with a wrinkled brow.

❝Oh my, how rude of me. I'm Seo-jin. I believe your wife must have forgotten to tell you, she called me to take the kids. She's planning quite a beautiful surprise for you.❞ with that said, she tried to act as kind as she could with a bright smile on her lips.

❝Oh, is that so? She isn't one to pull surprises.❞

Her eyes opened wide, ❝Omo, have I gotten the wrong house? Is this not Ms. Kang Seulgi's home? My deepest apologies.❞ she had no other choice at this point.

❝No, no. You got the right house. I will go collect them.❞ he retorted, walking off to bring the twins, ❝Su-reon, Seok-hun please behave at her care.❞ he said now kneeled in front of his undeserved children. They deserved a much better father.

❝We'll have lots of fun. Enjoy your alone time with your wife, sir.❞ she smiled taking each of the twin's little hands into hers before the man closed the door and she picked the two infants up, setting each on her hips before walking home. Once they were a decent distance from the house, she spoke to the two little kids, ❝Who is excited to go play with your friend?❞ and with that said the twins clapped excitedly their tiny little hands.

Finally at Ji-eun's house, she invited herself in with the spare key they lended her. ❝Why don't you call mommy?❞ the twins seemed confused, tilting their head as they looked at her.

❝Mama?❞ Su-ryeon asked confused and Seulgi showed up the second she heard her daughter's voice. She ran up to them, hugging the three of them.

❝Thank you... For bringing them back to me.❞ Seulgi whispered.

❝Hey, I'll do anything for you. Besides, I'm a mother too. I know how it's like.❞ Sasaki said with a tender smile as Seulgi took the twins into her arms.

❝Fwiends!❞ Hana cried out toddling into the hall making the two adults laugh and Seulgi set her children down.

❝Why don't you go play in the living room with Su-ryeon and Seok-hun, honey?❞ she softly suggested and the little infant took the twins hands and wobbly dragged them to the living room.

❝Do you think they'll be okay..?❞ Kang nervously asked, Sasaki reached for her hands, taking both into her own.

❝They already get along well, I'm sure they'll be okay.❞ she spoke with a reassuring smile as her thumbs rubbed gentle circles on the back of Seulgi's hands. ❝We'll leave the day after tomorrow. There's still 4 other girls I'd like to see before we leave.❞

❝Oh?❞ she asked confused, looking up.

❝The rest of Red Velvet, pabo.❝ she giggled with a soft shake of her head.

❝Oh, I should say goodbye as well... I haven't seen them in too long and now I'm leaving. They deserve an explanation.❞ Seulgi looked down with a saddened look.

❝You haven't seen them- That son of a bitch! I'm gonna kill him!❞ Sasaki hissed, ❝He didn't even let you keep your friends!? Who did he think he was?❞

Seulgi looked down and Mari sighed out of frustration, ❝Let's forget about him. I'm happy now.❞ with that said, Sasaki nodded wrapping her arm around Seulgi's waist before leading her into the living room where they sat down on the couch, next to Ji-eun and her husband while the three infants played on the little playground.

The two couples decided to watch a horror movie, each of their cuddling their respective partner. Oh how she had missed holding Seulgi in her arms. Eventually everyone headed to bed, Seulgi laid in bed watching as Mari put Hana to sleep, the twins already asleep in the bed with their mother.

❝Hey...❞ a pair of arms wrapped around Mari from behind, only then had she realized Seulgi had gotten off the bed, ❝Do you want me to try?❞ she whisper-asked.

❝You don't have to. It's o-❞ before she could finish, Seulgi took Hana who giggled and cooed up at her before yawning.

❝Fighing off sleep, huh? You tiny little girl, you need to sleep so you can grow big.❞ she softly spoke, rocking her in her arms. Mari watched in awe as she sat on the edge of the bed. Hana's Coors sushed as she snuggle her tiny body closer to Seulgi's before sucking on her little thumb as she drifted off to sleep.

❝How did you..?❞ Sasaki asked, mouth agape in shock.

❝Hm, secret.❞ she giggled, setting Hana down in the crib and climbing into bed, ❝Goodnight.❞ she smiled, pulling the covers over them and trying to fall asleep.

❝Goodnight.❞ Sasaki fell asleep almost immediately after.

Morning came and Sasaki woke up with the sun shining through the window, groaning she rose to her feet and placed her pillow in her place so the two s wouldn't roll over before walking downstairs and into the kitchen only to find Changbin there.

❝Morning.❞ Sasaki spoke from the doorway, ❝I'm guessing Ji-eun's still asleep?❞ she asked in an affirmation tone.

❝Good morning.❞ he greeted before chuckling, ❝You guessed it right. But the kids are in the living room watching TV.❞

❝Early birds, I see. Hana should be up soon too.❞ she chuckled, walking up to him, ❝Is there anything I can do to help?❞ she asked looking at the different ingredients and utensils displayed on the counter as he made something she couldn't quite figure out what for breakfast.

❝It's all good, don't worry.❞ he offered a smile and she nodded only for a sleepy Seulgi to join them in the kitchen with Su-ryeon and Hana on each side of her hips.

❝Morning, sunshine.❞ Himari softly spoke with a smile as she walked up to her, ❝Where's Seok-hun?❞

❝In the crib. He was still asleep unlike these two.❞ she said with a groggy chuckle escaping her lips.

❝Do you want me to take them so you can get some more sleep?❞ the taller female offered but the older seemed to deny, ❝Alright. We should probably go take care of inviting the girls for a lunch out.❞

❝I can't call them...❞ Seulgi sighed with saddened eyes making Sasaki frown in confusion but decided not to make questions.

❝Don't worry about it, I'll take care of it. Where should we go out for lunch tho?❞ she asked offering her a tender smile caressing her cheek.

❝We could go to that new restaurant that just opened about a week ago?❞ Kang suggested and she nodded, reaching for her phone, ❝I'll call them and let them know as soon as I feed Hana.❞ she said taking Hana who had began to fuss.

Sasaki walked to the bathroom with Hana, who instantly latched herself to her mother's chest. She was starving since for once she had slept through the entire night.

❝Omo, someone was starving.❞ she chuckled, surprised.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

❝Yes?❞

❝Mari, I've already invited the girls. Take care of inviting Red Velvet.❞ Ji-eun informed from the other side of the door.

❝Alright! Thank you! I will do so.❞ the older female spoke covering herself as Hana let go and burped her before walking out of the bathroom and towards the living room, setting her daughter in the little playmatt.

Reaching for her phone, she looked through her contacts calling the first Red Velvet member she found.

❝Mari?❞ a soft voice asked in a confused tone on the other side of the line.

❝Joo-hyun, hi! It's so nice to talk to you again, it's been a while!❞ Sasaki spoke, happy to hear her voice after a while. It had been nearly a year since the last time she had gotten the chance to call her, ❝I'm in Korea for a few more hours, I was wondering if you and the rest of the Red Velvet girls would like to meet us for lunch today?❞

❝I must say, it's nice to hear about you- Wait, for real? I would love to! But I don't live with the girls anymore.❞

❝Oh, I figured. But don't worry about that, I'll give them a call myself.❞

❝But wait, who's us?❞

❝Oh you know, us the Cherry girls.❞

❝Alright, alright! I can't wait to see you guys. Anyways, I'll let you get to do you, text me the address.❞

❝Will do! See you later!❞ with that said, she ended the call before looking for the next to show up in her contacts.

❝Soo-young! Hi! It's been a while.❞ Sasaki greeted the second the other tall female answered.

❝Mari? Is it really you?❞

❝Nah, it's Jesus.❞ she teased, chuckling softly.

❝How have you been? It has indeed been a while!❞

❝Mhm, which is why I'm calling. I'm in Korea for a couple more hours and I was wondering if you and the rest of the Red Velvet girls would like to join us for lunch?❞

❝Wait, you're in Korea!? Of course! Just send me the address and I'll meet you there.❞

❝Alright! I'll see you later then!❞ and another call came to an end and it wasn't even a minute later before Sasaki was on the phone with Wendy, who quickly agreed and then it was Yeri.

Time flew by quickly and now everyone sat at the restaurant table, the husbands had stayed home with the kids for the girls' date and the only one whose partner came along was Sasaki's since she was a member of Red Velvet too.

Halfway through, Seulgi excused herself to use the bathroom and had yet not returned and it started worrying everyone.

❝Hey, I'm gonna go check on Seulgi. I'll be right back.❞ Sasaki said and Irene got up too, going with her.

❝Seulgi-ah!❞ Irene called as soon as they walked in but there seemed to be no response, ❝Yah! Seulgi-ah! This isn't funny!❞

❝Seulbear, baby?❞ She looked everywhere but she seemed to be nowhere.

❝Wait, you two are together? I thought she got married and that's why she left us without saying a word!❞ Bae frowned in confusion, looking around.

❝Long story... But it's hers to tell you...❞ Himari sighed frustrated just as they came out of the bathroom empty handed. There seemed to be no signs of Seulgi and that's when Sasaki's eyes caught something just outside the restaurant. A mad dragging a girl into a black van. She sprinted, running as fast as she could but she was too late, ❝Fuck, fuck, FUCK!❞

She rushed back inside, picking her phone and calling 112. There was no way she'd let him hurt her again.

❝Hello? Yes. There's been a kidnapping of a 29 years old woman! Her name is Kang Seulgi! Her husband's going to kill her if we don't find her soon!❞ she cried out into the phone, her whole body trembling. Both of fear and anger. Everyone stood up, eyes widened, while Himari spoke on the phone with the police. ❝I saw the van's licence plate, it's...❞

Once the call had ended, Sasaki grabbed her things. ❝You girls should go home. It's safer.❞ she said to the Red Velvet girls who nodded softly.

❝Please find her...❞ Irene said as she collected her things.

❝Ally, please go home and make sure Su-ryeon and Seok-hun are safe and sound. Don't let him take them. I have to go to the police station.❞ she asked and she nodded softly.

❝I'll go with you.❞ both Solar and Su-jin said, gathering their things.

❝I'll go try to track the car that took her.❞ Ae-ra spoke as well, gathering her things.

Everyone parted ways, Red Velvet went home and so did Ji-eun while Ae-ra went to the company she works for to ask for help tracking the car and the three remaining girls drove to the police station to make their statements, of course, Sasaki had to tell them the truth about what happened to Seulgi during these last few years before they got there.

❝Jagi? Where are the twins?❞ Ally asked the second she burst into the house.

❝In here, honey.❞ he answered rather confused and Ally ran into the living room the second she locked the door and windows.

❝Good. I have to keep them safe while Mari is at the police station. Seulgi was taken.❞ she explained softly sitting next to the playmat the three infants played. ❝Where are Miyoung and DaeSeong?❞

❝They're in their rooms.❞ he answered and she nodded softly.

Ae-ra was already inside the building, talking to her boss about the situation at hand. Of course that, as soon as it was explained she was given authorisation to use whatever device and available team needed to locate them. And once she had their location, she texted it to Sasaki.

❝Ae–ra found her. I have to go.❞ Sasaki said to the two girls with her but both of them got up.

❝You’re not going alone. Are you out of your mind? Do you not remember what happened three years ago?❞ Su-jin stated, not giving her a choice and Kyong nodded in agreement.

❝I— Fine... I need to drop by Ji-eun's to get a weapon.❞ she sighed in defeat before stating.

❝We’re going to stop at my place, I have an idea.❞ Kyong said as everyone hopped into the car and took off towards her place. Once there, she led them to the weaponry room previously locked, letting them pick their weapon while she stuffed hers into the waistband of her cargo pants.

As the three were ready, they got into the car and Sasaki was the one driving this time. Speeding off to the address Ae-ra had sent her. Parking far enough not to be noticed, they hopped off the car and sneaked their way into the abandoned warehouse. They looked around, staying close to each other.

❝Looking for something?❞ a male voice spoke from behind them and the three turned around in an instant.

❝Seulgi!❞ Himari cried out, the older female was tied,  with a cloth over her mouth as he held her with a knife pressed to her neck.

❝One more move and she's dead.❞ he retorted with a sickening smirk on his lips. Those words were enough to make Sasaki drop her gun and raise her arms, there was no way she'd risk it.

❝If you wanna hurt anyone.. just hurt me. But let her go...❞ she said looking at him, trying to come up with a plan and that's when something happened that shocked all of them, Ae-ra had sneaked behind him and hit him with the handle of her gun hard enough to knock him out and in a second Sasaki had ran to Seulgi, untying her and removing the cloth that covered her mouth, ❝I’m so sorry.❞ Himari said, pulling her into a tight, protective embrace, ❝I was so scared...❞ a relieved sigh escaped along with the soft tears.

❝Are you crazy?❞ Seulgi finally spoke making Sasaki's eyes widen, ❝You could have gotten yourself killed, pabo!❞ and before Sasaki could answer, she was yanked into another embrace as the sirens made themselves heard from afar, signaling that the cops were on the scene.

❝I’ll need you girls to make a statement at the station as soon as possible. And miss, you should go to the hospital.❞ a cop said while another cuffed the unconscious man that began to wake up.

❝Yah! Get off of me!❞ he struggled, trying to free himself.

❝You are under arrest for abduction and domestic violence. Everything you say will be used in court.❞ the cop spoke reading him his rights as he pulled him to his feet.

❝What nonsense is this? This girls set me up.❞ he tried but the officer remained silent, dragging him outside and into the backseat of the car.

❝Thank you for your quick work locating the victim’s whereabouts. It is thanks to you that she's safe and sound.❞ the officer said with a bow and all the girls bowed as well.

❝Come on, I'm gonna take you to the hospital.❞ Sasaki said, wrapping her arm around Seulgi's waist who nodded and walked outside with Ae-ra, Su-jin and Kyong in front of the two. This time Kyong Soon and Su-jin went into Ae-ra’s car, leaving Himari and Seulgi the car they had previously used. Sasaki hopped into the driver's seat after helping Kang into the passenger's seat and taking off to, not the nearest, but best hospital she knew in South Korea.

❝That was a close call.❞ Kyong Soon sighed relieved as she rested back onto the backseat.

❝Don’t tell me. For a moment, I thought we were about to lose both Seulgi and Mari.❞ Su-jin spoke after before turning to Ae-ra, who was focused on the road as she drove, ❝Thank you for coming. If it wasn't for you, they wouldn't be on their way to the hospital by themselves.❞

❝Are you still sure we shouldn't have gone with them? One of us at least?❞ the maknae asked, she seemed rather worried.

❝I’m sure. They need some time for themsel—❞ Su-jin was interrupted by the phone ringing. It was Ae-ra’s, who pressed the answer button on her car's little screen and surely soon enough Ji-eun's voice was made heard in the car.

❝Ally.. Ally!❞ Su-jin tried but it seemed useless as the female on the other end of the line spoke a little too fast.

❝YAH! ALLY!❞ Kim exclaimed out, shutting Ji-eun up. ❝Breathe woman! They're safe and sound. Mari's taking Seul to the hospital just for safety. He has been arrested.❞ she sighed as Ji-eun now spoke normally.

❝Oh– That's good!❞ she said and you could hear the relieved sigh that escaped her in the car, ❝I’ll call Mar—❞

❝NO!❞ the three girls cried out, startling the poor female and making her drop the phone.

❝Geez. Alright, alright. Why not?❞ she groaned with a roll of her eyes the others luckily couldn't see.

❝Because we didn't go with them so they could have some privacy, don't you dare ruin our plan.❞ Su-jin retorted.

Meanwhile with Sasaki and Kang, the two seemed silent until Seulgi spoke.

❝Thank you...❞ it was as low as a murmured secret someone didn't want you to hear, but she meant it.

❝For what?❞ Sasaki wrinkled a brow in confusion as her eyes took a quick glance at the girl sitting next to her before focusing back on the road.

❝Risking your life for me.❞ Seulgi said, staring out the window.

❝Yah! You know I'd do it again in an heartbeat.❞ she stated, shrugging at the end. She didn't see why she was being thanked.

❝I don't want you to...❞ Kang mumbled, and Himari simply went silent. ❝I would never forgive myself if I had been the reason you got hurt...❞ she completed after a while.

❝I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if I did nothing to save you.❞ the taller female spoke, her hand reaching over to hold Seulgi's who stayed silent, staring out the window until Mari parked, hopping off and helping Seulgi out.

At the hospital, Seulgi went through different kinds of exams and tests just to make sure she was alright, once it was made sure she wasn't in any danger she was released and soon Sasaki was driving the two back to Ji-eun's place.

❝I wanna go back to Red Velvet...❞ Seulgi suddenly blurted out.

❝W–What do you mean?❞ Sasaki asked confused, looking at the road.

❝I miss performing...❞ she admitted, looking down at her lap.

❝I can't stop you from doing what you love...❞ she said softly pulling into the driveway, ❝If that's what you want then we'll manage. I'll quit my job in Japan and look for one here. But I'm not leaving you again.❞

❝I’ll go with you. To Japan. For a while until you quit. I'll help you with whatever you need until we come back.❞ she said with a smile, looking up at Himari who nodded offering a smile of her own.

It had been five years since they had gotten back together, a lot had happened but the two remained together. In fact, they had a beautiful wedding three years ago and lived in a rather big house in South Korea with their kids. Hana, Su-ryeon and Seok-hun were now six years old, attending the best primary school in Korea. Seulgi had returned to Red Velvet surprising all the ReVeLuvs and Himari, well Himari became a dance teacher at SM Entertainment, reaching young trainees.

And as far as it goes, they've had a happy life together.

[citrustan]

hello , can i request a drabble wherein oc finds out that their husband politician Namjoon is having an affair with his secretary? like, oc found Namjoon was cheating when oc was watching the news and there are photos of the affair and a recorder phone call of the affair wherein the secretary was talking bad about the oc and Namjoon was just chuckling. thank u in advance ❣️

aaaa i'm excited to write this one, thank you for sending it in!

all eyes on you (knj)

pairing: namjoon x reader

genre: angst!! husband!namjoon x wife!reader, mayoral candidate!namjoon x housewife!reader. i imagine namjoon to be older than oc.

warnings: infidelity! oc will be trashed a little ok. you have been warned. the contents of this story quite literally replicate the anon's request. please don't read it if you find the topics offensive and/or unappealing. oh u guys r gonna hate me,,

The living room was quiet, save for the soft hum of the television in the background. You weren't really watching anything in particular--- just letting the flicker of images fill the empty silence around you.

You were perpetually tired.

Your mind wandered, lost in the routine of another evening spent waiting for your husband to return home from wherever he was.

It's not just this though. Namjoon had been distant lately, buried in meetings and late-night phone calls, but you had brushed it off as just part of his life as a politician.

This was the price of being married to a man like him, or so you'd tell yourself.

It was peak campaigning period. Namjoon was running for mayor. So it wasn't out of the ordinary for him to pull all-nighters.

Yet, you couldn't help but stay up for him anyway.

Unintentionally, you switch to a news channel.

Normally, you'd prefer to stay far away from anything to do with politics, as ironic as it sounds with you being married to such an ambitious politician. But, you yearned to feel closer to him, and the news channel his (and sometimes your) name(s) frequented on was the only way for you to satisfy this urge.

You sat on your luxurious yet cold, leather sofa and zoned out, staring into space.

And, oh, what a choice that was.

“Now in. Breaking news on mayoral candidate Mr. Kim Namjoon...”

Just like that, your attention snapped back to the screen when the news anchor mentioned your husband's name. Your heart skipped a beat or two.

In only a second, a thousand thoughts crossed your mind, hundreds of scenarios where he'd hurt himself, or been hurt, maybe his opponent backed out and he was pronounced mayor right this instant, maybe his opponent was hurt, or maybe he was advocating for yet another controversial decision.

Not even close.

What followed wasn’t about a new policy or a political scandal--- it was something way worse.

Photos. Of him. Your husband. Kim Namjoon. With her. His secretary. Bae Joohyun.

They weren’t just working. The pictures showed them at some dinner, leaning in close, laughing in a way that made your stomach churn.

They looked too comfortable, too familiar, as if this was second nature to them.

How cliché.

It felt like the ground beneath you had cracked wide open, eager to swallow you up and wipe every trace of your existence.

It felt like time had stopped. The air around you was stagnant. You couldn't hear anything but a high-pitched ringing in your ear; until what the channel displayed next.

The screen transitioned to a recorded phone call.

You hadn’t realized you were holding your breath until you heard Joohyun's voice, dripping with smugness.

“I don’t know how she doesn’t see it. Honestly, it’s almost pathetic,” you hear the woman sneer. “She’s too busy playing the good housewife while you’re here with me. I mean, what does she even bring to the table? It's not like you don't have staff handling your home.”

You don't even have time to digest the attack on you because what came next completely shattered you.

Namjoon's laugh.

It wasn’t just a polite chuckle, not something he gave when uncomfortable. It was genuine, full of warmth--- the laugh you used to think was reserved just for you, not against you.

“She’s a bit clueless, isn’t she?” Your husband murmured, amusement clear in his voice.

The remote slipped from your hand and hit the ten thousand dollar carpet with a dull thud.

Your mind was racing, trying to make sense of it, but nothing could explain what you had just seen and heard. All you could think was a mix of 'Namjoon' 'he hates me' 'what went wrong?' 'how could he dare to do this?' 'Joohyun was so nice to me' and 'I want to lie down.'

The man you loved, and cherished, the man you trusted, had betrayed you. And worse, he had laughed at your expense, as if you were nothing more than a convenient joke?

You can't even begin to feel the humiliation of the news being broken to you by TV emission, because your husband's betrayal had struck you so hard, all your thoughts surrounded only him.

Yet another irony; the news of his betrayal was broken to you so publicly, yet you were so, so lonely.

You can feel your cheeks and ears heating. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes, but you don't cry.

Not yet. You don't know why.

Instead, you continue to sit there, numb, as the rest of the world kept spinning around you.

The hours (two hours) blurred together as you sat in silence, staring at the news segment on repeat.

There was no new information. Just the commentators discussing your life. They had managed to dig into your and Namjoon's past. Then his secretary/mistress' as well.

Yeah, she had been promoted to 'Mr. Kim's mistress.'

They discussed, and agreed with Joohyun's take on you being a lousy wife to Namjoon. How Bae Joohyun is a better fit for him. Then another counter argument stating you were 'the perfect, submissive, wife material' for Namjoon.

They went into detail about Namjoon's past relationships, then moved on to scrutinizing every single interaction he had with a woman since your marriage being made public.

Then, they brought on more guest stars on the show to react to your husband's leaked voice recordings.

You felt hollow, with every heartbeat punctuated by that same mocking laugh playing in your head.

All your devices, phones, iPads, landlines, had been vibrating and ringing non-stop. You wonder if any of those are from Namjoon.

It wasn’t until the door clicked open and you heard Namjoon’s familiar, hurried footsteps that you finally snapped out of your daze. He was almost stomping the floor. Following close behind, you hear another unmistakable 'click-clack' of a pair of high heels.

Your husband stormed in, his tie slightly loosened, looking weary from another long day, along with his fucking secretary, who looks equally fatigued.

He tries to talk, “_____."

Instantly, you shoot him down, "Don't even." You stood up with false-fervour. Not wanting to hear from either of the traitors, you turn to rush to one of the guestrooms.

Before you turned, you caught Joohyun rolling her eyes, her lips pursed in annoyance.

The woman looked more irritated at being dragged into this mess than remorseful. That was the last straw.

You don't quite remember what happened next. You were suddenly so fired up. Your brows furrowed, and your tears had clouded your vision.

Without thinking, you grabbed the nearest thing--- your fluffy house slipper, and hurled it straight at the secretary’s head pulling a stupefying gasp out of your husband.

"What the fuck?!"

note: this hurt to write kinda until i made her throw a slipper at joohyuns head :( ofc this is also kinda raw and unedited bec (you know it) lazy.

do you guys want a follow-up?? perhaps a confrontation? you'll have to be vocal abt it if you do... so talk to me u clowns 😡

BTW i love bae joohyun, i just think she'd be a perfect villain for this story. smart, sexy, bitchy, and intimidating.

[rosiehrs]

YOU DON'T KNOW MY NAME ## bae joohyun

influencer!irene x fem!reader

SUMMARY ⤻ irene was a private influencer and y/n was an avid follower. you were extremely open about your admiration for the older girl. like every other fangirl, you want her to notice you – but she doesn't know your name. (and you don't know hers)

CONTENTS ⤻ smau, non!idol x reader, wlw, fluff, crack, minor angst, fangirling, pining

WARNINGS ⤻ dark jokes, strong language, suggestive jokes, large age gap? (reader is 21, irene is 32), will add more in the future!

FEATURING ⤻ red velvet, jennie kim (blackpink), im nayeon (twice), nakamura kazuha (le sserafim), aeri uchinaga (aespa), choi yena (soloist), kim gaeul (ive), shin yuna (itzy), more characters to come in future chapters ˆ-ˆ

STATUS ⤻ ongoing.

UPDATES ⤻ whenever i can!

PROFILES..! yena's charity work. millennials + yeri.

CHAPTERS

O1 – GET UP

O2 – dm her u won't

O3 – the beginning

O4 – yeri knows

O5 – opposites attract

O6 – default settings

O7 – compatible?

O8 – 'i always win'

O9 – unnie collector

10 – number exchange

11 – 'i'm almost there'

12 – date night (half written)

13 – burn the trauma suit

14 – friends

15 – filtered yn era (?)

16 – card reading

17 – kirby says hi

18 – stranded

19 – 'i see you'

20 – saviour (written)

21 – 'i don't like her'

22 – invitation

23 – realisation

24 - right but wrong

25 - close to you

26 - quote of the day

27 - blue

28 - every sunday

29 - pent up (written)

30 - let it all out

31 - call

32 - yena's right

33 - still stands

34 - thanks, nayeon!

35 - valentine

36 - everyone has a date

37 - fourteenth

more to come..

taglist (closed)

[seullovesme]

slow dancing in the dark » bae irene

pairing ⥬ joohyun x reader

genre ⥬ angst (fluff + smut)

summary ⥬ on her date, joohyun comes to the realization that there's nobody that she wants other than you. hopefully, she's not too late.

warnings ⥬ dom reader, sub irene, oral (idol receiving)

WC ⥬ 5.5k

part 1 | part 2

joohyun watched junmyeon's lips move as he talked on and on about his business deals at work. she would say she was listening to him, but she knows better than to lie. to be completely honest, her mind was in a different place.

this date was way different than the first.

their first date had felt so much more easygoing and fun, but only now she could tell the romance was missing. it felt like he was only talking about himself. she adjusted her hair and her dress, feeling oddly uncomfortable. this is not the same sweet charming guy she talked over phone with, and she was starting to see through his facade.

she was thinking of inviting you to join them earlier, before she had left, but obviously she wasn't going to make you tag along on their date because she didn't want you to actually meet him until they were officially dating like she had done with her other relationships. seeking your approval was always her number one priority because you knew her more than she did herself, and you were a little protective. nevertheless, you always closely examined each guy she brought to you, making sure that they had good intentions, checking if she had misjudged their motives. you were like the shield to her warrior.

maybe that's why she felt a little more awkward, or uncomfortable. she knew your presence made her feel safer and she was starting to feel uneasy with the man, sensing that he was slowly getting cockier and more rude as time passed. you never made her feel like this, never made her feel so little or inferior. clearly, he was trying to do that by flaunting big business words and bringing up his famous clients.

she knows that if you were here, you would've set him straight and told him off for making her feel upset. she blushed as she thought about you defending her like you usually did, always being straightforward and scolding someone if they even dared to hurt her. you were always the one to protect her, so of course she would've wanted you here tonight. she also would've enjoyed the dinner more if she could hear you talk about something dumb rather than this snooze-fest of a topic.

she also thought about whether you did want to come and were just afraid to ask. she's brought you on dates before, usually when she meets up with someone she doesn't know well. though, those relationships never lasted, they always ended it because they "knew her heart belonged to someone else".. anyway, you usually did everything together so it wasn't that odd for that to be the case. you did look quite down when you left her place.

"joohyun? you okay?" startled, she was brought back into the moment when she heard him.

joohyun locked eyes with the man in front of her, "hm? yeah i'm fine, why do you ask?" she put on a forced smile, trying to pretend like she wasn't ignoring his rambles.

he inspected her face. "it didn't look like you were really listening." because she really wasn't. this entire time she had been trying to figure out why this date was just boring. she hated to admit it, but this was not what she expected the date to be like. she thought it would be like the movies where she'd come to the conclusion that she had finally found her soulmate.

she could tell that he wasn't anywhere near to having that title. she needed a way out of this, any second longer hearing about how his business clients tried to finesse him and she may go crazy. "junmyeon, you're a good person but i really can't sit here and waste your time." she sighed at his shocked face, his ego clearly damaged. "i don't think this is working out for me."

"what? wait hyun—"

"don't call me that, there's only one person who's allowed to call me that." she said sternly. his eyebrows shifted and he wore an upset expression, but she didn't care. that was the nickname you gave her, so she never allowed anyone but you to call her that. not even her parents. it ticked her that he did, she always made sure that the precious nickname was reserved for you.

"joohyun," he corrected himself, "can't you just give me a chance? for me, this date has been great and i think ending things here would be stupid! i'm really the perfect boyfriend for you." he pleaded before reaching for her hand, but she dodged it, scoffing at his childish behavior.

she begins gathering her belongings, trying so hard to not roll her eyes at him. "who are you to decide what the 'perfect boyfriend' is for me? maybe i'm not wasting your time but rather my own." she stood up, looking down on him like he was scum.

he clicked his tongue in annoyance. "should've known a girl like you was only good for her looks." he muttered under his breath and leaned back in his chair.

she's fuming. "don't call me or contact me, or else." joohyun took her bag off the chair and began to speed walk away.

"or else what? you're going to get your loyal puppy you call your best friend to come and fight me?" that made her pause and she could hear him getting closer as he followed. "she'd probably do whatever you command her to. after all, she clearly just wants to get in your pants just like the rest of us."

a slap echoes in the now silent restaurant.

everyone watched as joohyun struck junmyeon right across the face, the sound of her hyperventilating and a couple of murmurs the only audible noises to her. she was mad, livid even.

"it is not your business what y/n does, nor is it okay for you to judge her like you know anything about her. you must have some nerve to think everyone is as much of an asshole as you. i've known her for years. i've been her best friend for years, and i've seen every side of her. i'll decide what her intentions are with me." junmyeon held his hand right over the cheek she slapped, bewildered by how hard she hit and how defensive she was of you. she muttered some other insults under her breath as she collected herself.

she took a deep breath and looked around, realizing that everyone was looking at the two of them. she felt a little embarrassed, not about defending you, but because she was disturbing the innocent bystanders who were just enjoying their dinners. she gave a small bow to apologize for making a scene, and glared at the man who was still standing there not saying anything.

she needed to leave asap. she felt so angry that she wanted to cry, so upset that she got involved with someone like this. at times like this, your consolation was all she needed to make the anger dissipate. "once again, don't try to contact me." joohyun made clear before storming off.

the moment she reached home, she took off her heels, switching them with house slippers, and threw her purse onto her counter after she got her phone from inside of it. she called her only pinned contact and waited to hear your voice.

instead, she heard her own voice in the form of a custom voicemail, the same one she made for you when you both were still in high school. "hello! if you are trying to reach y/n, she can't pick up the phone probably because she's too lazy to... anyway leave a voicemail or call again later!" why was it sending her straight to voicemail? joohyun was confused because you would always wait for her call, especially if you knew she was going out with someone in case of an emergency. it wasn't like her calling you was out of the blue, it was a regular thing. she could even recall the days you stayed up all night, saying you couldn't sleep because she didn't call.

she called once more and ended up with the same outcome. at this point she was already extremely upset, mostly with what went down at the date, and she wanted your comfort. she grabbed her keys and decided she would just go to you. either way, she wanted your presence, no, she needed it. it was like an urge that she could just not brush off, she needed to talk to you. without changing into her shoes or even changing her outfit, she got into her car and drove off.

once she reached your street, the first thing she noticed was that your car wasn't in your driveway. when she typed in your passcode to your door, she also noticed your shoes were also missing. usually when she came over, she would scold you for leaving your shoes all over the place as she put them away.

but this time, there weren't any shoes for her to pick up.

where could you have possibly been at 9 pm? the fact that you were more of a homebody made it even more odd.

joohyun went to your bedroom to lay on your bed, planning on just waiting for you to return. minutes that felt like hours passed and she felt herself nodding off, your comforting scent on your pillow lulling her to sleep. she was out cold by 11, still in her red dress as she didn't bother changing because she thought you'd be back sooner. otherwise, she would've just slipped into one of your baggy tees.

but as the sun rose and shone through the window of your room, you were still nowhere to be found. she shot up in a daze, looking around to see any trace of your return. nothing. you were still missing and she was starting to get nervous.

joohyun opened her phone and tried your number again, the same outcome. she called your parents, thinking it was probably the only place you would have been overnight, but even they said they had no clue where you were and that you weren't answering their calls either. joohyun apologized for calling so early in the morning and it was probably nothing to worry about, hanging up. she didn't want to drag them in and make them worried too, ultimately deciding to search for you on her own.

she was out of ideas, she had no idea where you were and joohyun was sick to her stomach just thinking about what dangers you could be in. you could be lying dead on the floor for all she knew. she curled up in your sheets and snuggled close to your pillow again, seeking comfort in it by hugging it and smelling it, imagining it was you. praying you were safe, she took a nap despite having just woken up.

five days had passed and joohyun was still in your bed. she only ever got up to cook something to eat using what you had, which was mainly instant foods because you relied on joohyun as she loved to cook you your favorites. when she met your mom for the first time when you were younger and she learned about all of your favorite dishes, she promised that she'd make all of them for you even if you grew up and learned how to cook on your own.

great. now she was crying again, it's like she was reminiscing memories of someone dead. she hugged her knees to her chest and sobbed. her worries got the best of her and she was not only worried now but also scared. it had been almost a week and there was still no sign of you anywhere, on your socials, your dms, nowhere. she felt like she was dying not being able to do anything but wait in your home.

she already called the people she knew and they didn't know, called your favorite places to go and they couldn't recall you ever showing up, and she didn't know what to do other than wait. was she supposed to report you as a missing person? joohyun was so lost, not knowing what to do. she sniffled as her tear ducts were completely drained and a wave of sleepiness hit her like a truck. your pillow was decorated by her tear stains and she just hugged it closer, wishing you would just send her a message that you were okay.

she fell into a deep slumber as it felt like the only thing she knew how to do in this state of mind. not even the sound of the front door being opened woke her.

when you had returned, you spotted joohyun's car in your driveway almost instantly having seen it so many times. what was she doing at your place? why wasn't she out with her boyfriend?

you quietly entered through the main entrance. even if it was your house and you could've come in as loud as you wanted, you wanted to avoid startling your sensitive best friend, assuming she was somewhere in here. there, you were at it again, unconsciously caring for the girl who belonged to another. reality sucked and you felt embarrassed that you cared so much when she didn't reciprocate your feelings after all.

the house was dead silent so with soft footsteps, you walked around in search of joohyun. as you passed the hall leading to your bedroom, you noticed how the door was wide open when you remembered shutting it when you left. for a second, you thought about the possibility that she had brought him to your house, but she knew you rarely let people into your house, let alone a total stranger.

you peered through the open door and saw a joohyun sized lump in your bedsheets with one of your pillows missing. silently, you fought the urge to just jump on top of her and throw away the five days of your friend's "therapy sessions" (you just cried on their couch and explained everything in incoherent words). you were supposed to be working on moving on, but seeing her again made it feel impossible.

you approached her as quietly as possible as she was quite the light sleeper, sitting on the empty space beside her. you gently peeled the blanket from her face, praying you won't be stepping over any new boundaries. she was just as pretty as you thought she was, but her eyes were puffy and a little red and there were faint tear streaks on her cheeks. you found your missing pillow, but it was stained with tears as well. not only that, but joohyun was still wearing that red dress she looked so beautiful in. that was what she was wearing when you last saw her though..?

before you put the puzzle pieces together, joohyun began stir awake. she felt the bed had sunken into and turned around to see you sitting there with a confused look. she stared at you blankly for a moment. "hyun?" it took a second for her to process that you were finally home and when she did, she launched herself at you, wrapping her arms tightly around your torso. you were taken aback by the force of her tight embrace, but you melted in her arms, rubbing her back as she started to cry into your shirt.

"you're back.." she mumbled into the fabric, inhaling your natural scent mixed with the scent of fresh laundry.

in a sudden burst, she put both her hands on your chest and shoved you back, forcing you to get up off the bed and stand as her breathing got heavier. her sweet expression quickly switches to an angry one and you are so confused by the change in her demeanor. you try to get closer to her given the distance she made, but she moves farther away on your bed.

shit, you should've known you were getting too cozy when she's already taken. you've gone and made her uncomfortable. nice one, dummy.

"hyun, i'm.. i'm s–"

"how could you..?" joohyun asked, her voice quivering as her eyes brim with tears. you felt a tightening sensation in your chest at the sight of the distressed girl. and to even think that you had hurt her when you worked so hard to protect her heart from all pain.

"hyun, i'm sorry. i���i truly didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, i was just thinking about myself."

she furrowed her brows. "what?"

"there's obviously a line and i didn't mean to overstep it, nor did i mean to disrespect junmyeon. i was just so used to our usual skin-ship that i wasn't thinking about it" once you say that, joohyun begins seething.

"are you stupid?! that's not the problem!" she blows up. "the problem here is that you decided to leave out of nowhere without even calling me or messaging me once! i called everyone, even your parents!! and i felt so hopeless not knowing what to do."

she had it wrong, you didn't think it was going to be this hard on her. you just wanted to fix yourself and heal your broken heart. "hyun, i wasn't–"

"i was here panicking when you were probably frolicking around, partying with other people, enjoying yourself. you just disappeared and i was worried.. i was so worried." the tears spill over, and she's now a crying mess. the gears in your head went into overdrive trying to understand her. she thought you were out having a blast, being a party animal? you..?

now you're upset. "me? 'frolicking around'? what, you think i was out clubbing or going to bars, doing something fun?" you asked with a mad tone.

the switch in your vocal tone caught her off guard."yes.."

you scoff. "seriously? that's not even close to what i was doing, but okay, whatever you want to believe joohyun." you ran your hand through your hair, sighing deeply, trying not to get mad with the way she accused you of something stupid. she was clearly not okay and you weren't going to get upset at her. "i'm going to leave, call me when you want to talk."

she fist tightened, her nails digging into her palms. "of course you are, you're good at leaving." she felt a surge of emotion through her veins. anger, sadness, she felt it all when you said that and she gave up. you bit your lip, feeling like you were about to boil over. she read into your expression of disbelief, "you know how hurt i was?"

"you were hurt?!" you yelled. joohyun flinched at your volume, which you noticed, but you couldn't just bottle this up forever and act like you were okay just to protect her. "what about me? i was hurt too when you made me sit through that date, watching you flirt and laugh with some man you met a few days ago. i was hurt when i watched you talk to him over the phone when we were supposed to be hanging out. i was hurt that someone you spent so little time with managed to steal you away from me so easily, even though i've been by your side for years."

you quickly tried to wipe the streams coming from your eyes, but they just kept pouring. joohyun sat there so lost, perplexed by your shouts.

"what.. what are you–"

"for years, i've been in love with you, joohyun."

joohyun's eyes widen and her arm that was holding her up gave out for a split second. her puzzled face made you want to laugh in pain. you spun around and made your way out of the room, desperate to get out as quickly as possible.

you snatched your keys off your kitchen table and stuffed them into your pocket, slipping on your favorite pair of shoes that you left randomly placed at the front door.

before you could even put on the first one, joohyun slammed you into the wall, pinning you against it. if it were any normal day, you would have let her do her thing and just stood there flustered, but you were over it. "joohyun, move." you command, trying to gently pry her off of you.

"no!" she cried, doing her best to prevent you from slipping out of her grip. she was really afraid that you were going to leave her this time.

"joohyun."

"so stupid.." she mumbles and you furrow your eyebrows. soon, you were going to get wrinkles.

"me, stupid?"

"you are! you really think i want that bumbling idiot?" she growled.

"well, yes? i saw how bright your eyes sparkled when you talked to him. you love him, i can tell." you remembered how stoked she was after the first date, spending her days on her phone, talking to him.

obviously, that's not how she recalls it. "how are you going to tell how i feel?"

"i'm not stupid joohyun."

"well maybe you are because i'm in love with you too."

you both just gaze into each other's eyes, feeling the tension lingering in the air. your eyes slowly shifted down to her lips that were slightly apart, listening to her breathing pick up its pace. you wanted to kiss her so badly, her plump lips so tempting to taste. seeing that you weren't going to make the first move, joohyun placed both of her hands on your cheeks and inched forward, capturing your lips into a kiss.

the leisurely kiss slowly turned into a heated make out. the sounds of your wet kisses were deafening, the entire place dead silent otherwise. she was starting to pin you more by leaning her body onto yours, pressing you completely into the wall as her hands snaked around your neck. it was making you dizzy, feeling her body on yours. you tilted your head and bit her lip, allowing you to slip your tongue in to explore her mouth. joohyun let out a small moan in return, surprising you.

you broke the kiss, your lungs crying for air as you try to figure out if this was going the way you hoped it was. scared she did something wrong, joohyun looked down and frowned. you put a hand on her chin, lifting her head up so you could continue. "joohyun. do you really want this?" she nods eagerly, her excitement showing through how quick she responded. "i need you to say it out loud."

"yes, please, i want this." she pleaded. without wasting a second, you latched onto her neck, sucking and biting, leaving purple marks behind. she tried not to moan in fear of making you stop again, which she did not want at all. the pleasure was overwhelming for her, overwhelmingly good at least. you picked her up and she yelped as she wrapped her legs around your waist, your hands supporting her underneath her thighs. while you carried her to your room, she pushed back your hair and pressed kisses on a sensitive spot under your ear.

you opened your door with your foot and went straight to the bed, laying her down on her back. "turn over." she listens to you and flips onto her stomach. you go for the zipper of the dress and slowly pull it down, revealing her silky skin and pink laced bra. you hum in approval of her choice on undergarments, enjoying the view from behind. she whines, protesting your speed, urging you to hurry up.

she brings her hand to yours on her back to take over, but you slap it away. "don't rush me, joohyun." the authority in your voice makes her quiver, the heat between her legs intensifying. "i'll make sure you know how to be patient by the time we finish here." you say with smirk, loving how you can affect her so easily as she lets out a breathy sigh.

once the metal reached the end of the zipper, you placed your palm on the lower part of her back, making her flinch at the contact. you pulled down the sleeves of the dress and undressed her, revealing her pink lingerie set which amuses you. you toss the dress to a corner, careful not to ruin it as it was a cherished gift of yours. your eyes traced her fame, admiring how gorgeous her body was in pink.

"you wore this to your date with that douche? you got all prettied up for him?" you ask, a little mad just thinking about her wearing such a lewd thing for someone other than you. she nodded and pushed herself up with her elbows, shifting to face you, a little shy that you were seeing her in this. she puts her arms over her chest and groin. you grab her arms firmly and move them out of the way, allowing you to see her completely. "funny you think he deserved any of this."

you let go of her arms and grope her right breast, to which she lets out a squeak. "this," you give her a squeeze, making her moan out. "is mine. understood?" she just nods again, eyes closed as she focuses on the works of your hand. you move your hand around to her back and feel for the hook of her bra, undoing it with one hand. you tugged it off, the sight of a topless joohyun absolutely one of your favorites.

you forced her back until she was laid down flat, latching your lips around her perky nipple. the new sensation made her throw her head back, her nipples very sensitive. she felt your teeth gently bite on her nub and soothe it with a swipe of your tongue. at some point, she stopped caring about being loud or not, it was very obviously going to be impossible to be quiet when you knew how to pleasure her so well.

your lips left her chest and slowly worked its way down to her stomach, leaving a trail of kisses every inch of the way. you looked through your eyelashes and saw that she was just watching you so intensely, clearly waiting for you to relieve the ache that was only growing the farther down you went. just to tease a little more, you started to go the opposite way of where she wanted you to go.

joohyun whined for the nth time and pushed your shoulders back until you were face to face with her clothed pussy. there was already a wet spot forming on her underwear, the smell of her arousal intoxicating. with your pointer finger, you press onto the wet patch. her whole body seems to react as she tenses up, crying out, and you snicker at how sensitive her body was.

"stop teasing me, please." she begged.

"fine." you began rubbing her heated cunt through the fabric, and all the tension left her body. her small whimpers fueled you to get straight to the main course. you take her panties and rip them, tearing them off of her so you could have full access to her sopping pussy.

"hey!" she sits up halfway using her elbows, "do you know how much this set was?!" it was like steam was coming out of her ears. joohyun always valued everything and took care of her stuff with care so that they would last longer. you just laugh and look at her, the fact that you didn't give a shit was written all over your face.

you hold up her torn underwear with one finger, "baby. i can buy you as many as you want, but you are not keeping this." you take the pink laced set and tossed it to the side. "as if i would let you wear this lingerie after you bought it with the intention of having someone else take it off of you." you muttered.

your eyes take in the sight of her fully nude with her legs spread open, her wetness glistening in the light. once again, she felt shy under your gaze and forgot that she was even mad in the first place. she tried to close her legs, but you palmed her crotch, your hand getting covered in her juices. the pressure you apply makes her moan as she slowly begins moving her hips, grinding against your hand.

you let her do her own thing for a moment, taking the chance to get impossibly closer. you remove your hand and replace it with your tongue, giving small kitten licks to her bundle of nerves, each paired with a small whine. joohyun gasped as you sucked her clit and swirled your tongue around it.

"fuck! h-haah, why are you so good at this.." she asked between breathy sighs. you let go of her nub with a small pop before dragging your tongue down her slit. she was soaked. you slurped up her wet, slick juices and dipped your tongue into her, making her emit sounds at a pitch you didn't even know she could reach. you pick her thighs up and put them on your shoulders. as you devour her, you circled her clit with your thumb.

her mind is foggy, the unholy thoughts of having you ravish her all day, every day being the only thing she can think about. no one knew how to treat her like you do, how to pleasure her, how to make her feel good. comparing you to her past relationships and few one-night stands, there was really no one better than you.

you pausing made her perk up, unhappy with the loss of contact. "no one better than me, hm?" your teasing smirk infuriated her, realizing that she let her last thought slip out. she put her hand on your head and pushed you back down.

"shut up, i didn't say that." she lied.

you took it as a challenge, a taunt. "oh really? so you need me to prove that there will never be anyone to please you like i do? consider it done, bae joohyun." you stopped talking and dove in, clamping your lips around her engorged bud. without warning, you plunged two fingers into her sopping pussy. she screamed out in surprise by the complete 180, going from soft and gentle to rough in the blink of an eye. the mix of your fingers thrusting in and out of her with the biting and licking of her clit brought her closer to her climax within minutes.

"fuck-!!" she put both of her hands onto your head, raising her hips trying to press herself harder against your face. "gonna cum, i'm gonna cum!" she warns, but her higher pitched tone with her antsy movements gave it away already. you sped up and curled your fingers into the spongy flesh. you pressing onto her g-spot sent her over the edge, her back arching as she gasped.

she went silent before her body started shaking violently, her soft, warm thighs crushing your skull in order to keep you in place and she came. you removed your fingers, but continued to lap up her gushing juices, making sure not to let a single drop go to waste. coming back down from cloud 9, she loosened her hold on your head, scared she hurt you because she needed an outlet for the pleasure.

all worry was wiped clean as you came upon with the biggest smile on your face, looking like a kid on a sugar rush. around your mouth and on your chin were the remnants of her orgasm, the thin coat shining in the light. she hummed, "i think you got a little something on your face." she joked, pointing to you. you poke your tongue and cleaned your lips, wiping the spots you couldn't reach with the back of your hands.

"all gone?" you ask. she shakes her head no and leans in, licking a strip on your face.

"there, all gone." she says innocently as she bats her eyelashes at you. she was so close that you could feel her breath on your face. she was so clearly staring right at your lips so you close the gap, smashing your lips into hers, allowing your lust and love take over. when you broke it to prevent yourself from suffocating, you saw how she's surprised by your energy. "what?"

"you thought i was done with you, hyun? i still have years of daydreams and fantasies that i need to fulfill. unless you're too tired?"

her surprised face transitioned to a snarky one, her energy matching yours now. "i'm never too tired to make up for lost time." she shoots back before pouncing onto you like a hungry fox hunting its prey.

the whole night was dedicated to you showing joohyun just how much you needed her, wanted her, and she got your message. she felt it in every touch and in every whisper.

you finally got the chance to express your deep and unwavering love for her. no more slow dancing in the dark.

[atlasthegreatest]

Nobody Knows / Bae Joohyun x Female Reader

Everyone knew Bae Joohyun— or more precisely— Irene. Known for her striking beauty and charming personality that enchanted both men and women alike. But there was something that nobody knew, not even her friends… is that she had a girlfriend.

Word count: 2650

A/n: Established relationship, soft angst, and fluff.

A/n: Once again… trying something out. I wrote this while listening to “Nobody Knows” by Kiss of Life. Hope you enjoy it!

The city lights flickered in the distance, a blurred sea of neon and concrete. From the 20th floor of her apartment, Bae Joohyun—known to the world as Irene, the adored leader of Red Velvet—stood in front of the large window, staring out into the night. Her phone vibrates on the table behind her, and the group chats alive with laughter and messages from her members. But tonight, her mind was elsewhere.

She glanced over her shoulder, watching the faint silhouette move quietly through the apartment. Y/n, her girlfriend, was unpacking groceries in the kitchen, humming softly to a song playing in her headphones. Joohyun smiled at the sight, a warmth spreading in her chest. There was a comfort in seeing Y/n in her space, in the quiet domesticity of it all, but beneath that comfort lay the unspoken reality that defined their lives. They existed in shadows.

The world loved Irene and adored her elegance and her pristine image. But Joohyun’s truth—her real truth—was something she couldn’t share. Not with the cameras, not with the fans, not with anyone outside these walls. And that truth was Jung Y/n.

“Hey,” Y/n’s voice broke the silence. She’d removed her headphones and approached Joohyun, wrapping her arms around her waist from behind. “What’s going on in that beautiful head of yours?”

Joohyun leaned into her, savoring the moment. “Just… thinking.”

“About?” Y/n’s voice was soft, and patient. She knew. She always knew.

Joohyun turned, resting her hands on Y/n’s shoulders, their faces inches apart. “Do you ever think about what it would be like if we didn’t have to hide?”

Y/n’s expression softened, but there was sadness in her eyes. “All the time.”

They had been together for two years now. Two years of stolen moments, secret vacations, and late-night phone calls whispered into the early hours. To the world, Joohyun was single, an idol unattainable, mysterious. Y/n was her hidden treasure, the piece of her heart no one could ever see.

“It’s not fair,” Joohyun murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. “I hate that we have to do this.”

Y/n sighed, pulling Joohyun closer. “I know. But I also know that I’d rather have this, have you, even if it’s in secret, than not have you at all.”

Joohyun’s heart ached at the words, and she kissed Y/n’s forehead gently. They had this conversation more times than she could count, but it never got easier. The pressure of their hidden relationship weighed heavily on her every day. She’d catch herself daydreaming about a world where they could walk down the street hand in hand, post photos together, live openly and proudly. But that wasn’t their world. It was a fantasy.

“Do you regret it?” Joohyun asked suddenly, surprising herself with the question.

Y/n pulled back slightly, looking at her with wide eyes. “What? No. Joohyun, I could never regret us. Not for a second.”

The sincerity in her voice made Joohyun’s chest tighten. She had always been the one who struggled more with their secrecy. Y/n, ever patient, ever understanding, never wavered in her support. But Joohyun worried. She worried about how long they could keep this up, how long before it became too much.

“Sometimes I wish we could just… run away,” Joohyun admitted, her voice shaking with the weight of her words. “Forget about the cameras, the expectations, everything. Just be us.”

Y/n’s hand caressed Joohyun’s cheek, her touch grounding her. “Maybe one day, we can. But until then, we have this.” She gestured to the apartment around them, to the small but sacred space they shared. “We have us, here, now. And that’s enough for me.”

Joohyun smiled, though the sadness lingered. She leaned forward, capturing Y/n’s lips in a slow, tender kiss. It was moments like this—intimate, away from the world—where she felt the weight lift, even if just for a little while. Here, in Y/n’s arms, there was no pretense, no performance. She was just Joohyun, and that was enough.

They pulled away, foreheads resting together, breaths mingling in the quiet of the night. “I love you,” Joohyun whispered, the words slipping out as naturally as breathing.

“I love you too,” Y/n replied, her voice steady, reassuring.

Joohyun knew that their love was real, that it was worth the secrecy, the sacrifices. But as they stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, the city lights blinking like distant stars, she couldn’t shake the feeling that something had to change.

Because even though nobody knew, it didn’t mean that what they had was any less beautiful, any less real. And maybe one day, the world will see that too.

But for now, they remained hidden in the shadows, their love a secret, known only to them.

———————-

The next morning, Joohyun awoke to the smell of fresh coffee and the sound of quiet clattering in the kitchen. She stretched lazily in bed, the softness of the sheets tempting her to stay cocooned a little longer. But the sound of Y/n humming drew her out, pulling her into the small moments she cherished.

She padded into the kitchen, barefoot, wearing one of Y/n’s oversized shirts. There was a comfort in seeing her girlfriend there, looking so at home in her apartment. It was a sight Joohyun never got tired of, a secret privilege hidden from the rest of the world.

Y/n was making breakfast, her back turned to Joohyun. For a moment, Joohyun stood still, simply watching. The light filtering through the windows bathed Y/n in a soft glow, and Joohyun couldn’t help but marvel at how effortless her presence was, how she seemed to fit so perfectly into her life, even amid all the chaos.

Without a word, Joohyun wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist from behind, burying her face in her back. Y/n laughed softly, leaning into the embrace.

“You’re up early,” Y/n teased. “I thought you’d sleep in after the schedule you had yesterday.”

Joohyun sighed against her skin, her voice muffled. “Couldn’t sleep without you next to me.”

Y/n turned in her arms, placing a kiss on Joohyun’s forehead. “Well, I’m here now.”

For a while, they stood like that, wrapped in each other, content in the quiet. But even in the peace of the moment, Joohyun could feel the undercurrent of tension that had been building between them. It was subtle, almost invisible, but it was there—an invisible wall that neither of them wanted to acknowledge.

She pulled away, walking over to the kitchen table, her expression more serious now. “Y/n,” she started carefully, “I’ve been thinking…”

Y/n glanced at her, eyebrows raised, as she turned off the stove. “About what?”

Joohyun hesitated. She didn’t want to ruin the moment, but the thoughts that had been swirling in her mind since last night refused to stay silent.

“About us,” Joohyun admitted. “About… how long we can keep doing this.”

Y/n didn’t answer right away. Instead, she turned back to the stove, stirring the food in silence. Joohyun could feel her girlfriend’s energy shift, a heaviness settling between them. It was a conversation they had danced around for months now—one they both feared would change everything.

After a long pause, Y/n finally spoke, her voice quiet but steady. “Do you want to break up?”

The question hit Joohyun like a punch to the gut, even though she knew it was coming. The truth was, she didn’t want to break up. She couldn’t imagine her life without Y/n. But the weight of their secrecy, of constantly looking over her shoulder, was starting to suffocate her.

“No,” Joohyun said quickly, almost too quickly. “I don’t want to stop. But I don’t know how long we can keep living like this—hiding, pretending like none of this is real.”

Y/n nodded, her expression unreadable. She placed the pan on the counter and turned to face Joohyun fully, crossing her arms. “I know it’s hard, Joohyun. Believe me, I do. But I don’t know what else we can do. You’re an idol. Your life isn’t your own anymore, and neither is mine because I’m with you.”

Joohyun’s heart sank at the words. She knew Y/n was right. Their relationship didn’t just affect Joohyun—it affected Y/n too. She had given up so much for this love, for them, and Joohyun couldn’t help but feel guilty for dragging her into this world of hidden glances and whispered affection.

“I’m sorry,” Joohyun whispered, her voice cracking. “I hate that I’ve put you in this position.”

Y/n softened at the sight of Joohyun’s tears. She walked over, kneeling in front of her and taking her hands. “Hey, stop that. Don’t apologize. I chose this. I chose you. I knew what it would be like from the beginning.”

Joohyun wiped at her eyes, trying to hold back the flood of emotions. “But it’s not fair to you. You shouldn’t have to live like this—always in the shadows.”

Y/n smiled sadly, her thumb brushing over Joohyun’s knuckles. “I knew what I was getting into. I love you, Joohyun. That’s never going to change. But if this is too much for you… if we are too much for you, I need you to be honest with me.”

The weight of Y/n’s words hung in the air, and for the first time, Joohyun realized just how fragile they were. Their relationship had always felt like a balancing act, walking a tightrope between the public image she had to maintain and the private life she longed to protect. But now, standing at this crossroads, the tightrope felt thinner than ever.

“I don’t want to lose you,” Joohyun said softly, her voice breaking. “But I don’t know how to keep us safe anymore.”

Y/n pulled Joohyun into her arms, holding her tightly. “We’ll figure it out. Together.”

For a moment, Joohyun allowed herself to believe it. She clung to Y/n, burying her face in her shoulder, letting the warmth of her embrace chase away the fears, if only for a moment. But deep down, Joohyun knew that something had to give. This life of secrets, of stolen moments and hidden love, couldn’t last forever.

And as much as they wanted to pretend otherwise, they both knew that the fractures beneath the surface were growing deeper.

————————

It was nearing midnight, and the streets of Seoul were quieter than usual, though still alive with the hum of passing cars and distant conversations. Joohyun and Y/n walked side by side, hands brushing occasionally, but never fully intertwining. Not here, not where someone could see them. Despite the dim streetlights and the darkened corners of the city, Joohyun’s instinct to protect them—to protect her—never wavered. The night air was crisp, and Y/n had borrowed one of Joohyun’s hoodies, the oversized fabric engulfing her tall frame.

They had been walking for almost an hour now, having decided to sneak away from Joohyun’s apartment for some fresh air. It was rare that they ventured out together, but tonight, there was a restless energy between them, something unspoken that drove them from the safety of four walls into the uncertain freedom of the outside world.

Joohyun glanced at Y/n, her heart tightening at the sight of her girlfriend’s content expression. Y/n had always been the braver one, the one who could find peace in the fleeting moments they stole from the world. Joohyun admired that about her, but it also terrified her. She knew that one wrong move, one careless mistake, could shatter the fragile world they had built.

“Do you think they’d understand?” Y/n’s voice cut through the silence, her words soft but deliberate.

Joohyun frowned, unsure of what she meant. “Who?”

“The fans,” Y/n clarified, her eyes still fixed ahead. “If they knew about us. Do you think they’d understand?”

The question lingered in the cool air, hanging between them like a heavy fog. Joohyun didn’t answer right away. It was something she had thought about countless times, something that haunted her every day. The fans—Red Velvet’s beloved ReVeluvs—had been with her through everything. They adored her and idolized her, but their love came with expectations. Expectations that she wasn’t sure she could meet if they knew the truth.

“I don’t know,” Joohyun admitted quietly. “Some of them might. But others… I don’t think they’d accept it. Not yet.”

Y/n nodded, her lips pressing into a thin line. “It’s scary, isn’t it? Loving someone and knowing that the world might not love them the way you do.”

Joohyun stopped walking, her breath catching in her throat at the raw honesty of Y/n’s words. She turned to face her, eyes searching Y/n’s face for any sign of fear or doubt. But Y/n wasn’t scared. She never was. Her gaze was steady and unwavering, and it made Joohyun feel both incredibly loved and deeply vulnerable.

“I hate that I can’t show you off,” Joohyun whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “You deserve so much more than this. More than me.”

Y/n frowned, stepping closer and taking Joohyun’s hand, despite the risk. “Don’t say that. I don’t want more. I want you. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Joohyun’s chest tightened, and she squeezed Y/n’s hand, her grip almost desperate. “But it’s not fair. I wish I could tell the world how much I love you.”

Y/n smiled sadly, her thumb brushing over Joohyun’s knuckles. “You tell me every day. That’s enough.”

They stood there, in the middle of the quiet street, the world around them fading into the background. For a brief moment, it felt like time had stopped, like the universe had paused just for them. In this small bubble of stolen time, Joohyun allowed herself to imagine what it would be like if they didn’t have to hide. If she could post photos of them together, laugh openly in public, hold Y/n’s hand without fear of judgment. But the reality was never that simple.

Y/n stepped closer, her free hand cupping Joohyun’s cheek. “I know this is hard. But we’re not alone in this. We have each other, and that’s what matters.”

Joohyun closed her eyes, leaning into Y/n’s touch. “I just want to give you the world.”

“You already do,” Y/n whispered, her lips brushing softly against Joohyun’s. “Every day.”

The kiss was gentle, tender—filled with the weight of all the things they couldn’t say, all the things they longed to express but never could. It was a promise, a silent vow that no matter what happened, they would face it together.

When they pulled away, Y/n smiled, that easy, reassuring smile that always made Joohyun’s heart skip. “Come on,” she said, her voice lightening as she tugged on Joohyun’s hand. “Let’s go get some ice cream. It’s not like anyone’s going to recognize us at this hour.”

Joohyun laughed, the sound bubbling up from her chest as the tension between them dissolved. It was moments like these that made everything worth it—the quiet walks, the late-night talks, the secret kisses. Even though their love was hidden, it was theirs. And for now, that was enough.

As they walked down the dimly lit street, hand in hand and laughing like teenagers sneaking out past curfew, Joohyun felt a sense of peace settle over her. Maybe one day, they could live openly. Maybe one day, the world will understand.

But until then, they had these fleeting moments—moments where nothing else mattered but them.

And in those moments, Joohyun realized, they were free.

[itsbeeble]

Gorgeous

SUMMARY: Minghao was the black sheep, though you'd never understood why. Maybe it's time you figure it out.

GENRE: smut, fluff, angst (MAJOR ANGST)

PAIRING: Xu Minghao x afab!reader

WC: 5.5k

SERIES MASTERLIST

PERM TAGLIST: @juyeonszn @winterchimez

SERIES TAGLIST: @captain-brie @nobraincellmode

18+ MDNI AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

WARNINGS: this is actually really dark, infidelity, rich people core, p in v sex, exhibitionism (yn gets fingered in the back of her car while on the phone), minghao is possessive, stalker themes, criminal, mentions of blood, reader gets injured, a lot goes on actually i've never written something like this el oh el

A/N: this was NOT supposed to end up like it did, but I decided on a whim to do this. Thank you to @sungbeam and @mosviqu for beta reading this (even if some of it was very last minute). I hope everyone enjoys this as much as I did teehee

“Who is that?” You tilt your head, eyes trained in the direction of someone you’d never seen before at these functions. Your friend, Jang Gyuri, follows your eyes and kisses her teeth. 

“Xu Minghao,” she brings her lips close to your ear so only you can hear her. No need for prying eyes and ears to hear what she has to say and spread unwanted rumors. “I’d stay away from him if I were you.”

“Why?” 

Many people would have described you as innocent. You came from “new money” as they would call it. Your father practically struck gold when he decided in his early thirties to start a business. The company grew quickly, the products being released becoming popular all over South Korea and, eventually, internationally. You knew that you should pay more attention to his work, as you’d likely inherit it one day, but you can’t find it in you to care. With this recent rise to power, you’d been taking advantage of your seemingly neverending access to parties of all kinds. Galas, clubs, birthday parties for the spoiled brats that had been born into this life. You were a free spirit, never one to avoid cameras, and that made you dangerous in the eyes of many in this country. Gyuri told you that, though old money was never afraid of new money, new money had the power of intimidation.

She’d told you many names as examples: Wen Junhui, Choi Yeonjun, Lee Chan, Han Jisung, Bae Joohyun, Kang Seulgi, Chwe Hansol. Though their families weren’t necessarily liked, they held status among the wealthy children for varying reasons— proving their worth being the main reason, intimidation being another. 

Xu Minghao, however, was never a name you had heard in these recent months. Maybe there was a reason for that, you note when your eyes meet his lidded ones and he flashes you a lazy smirk. Your cheeks heat up, and you turn your gaze back to Gyuri. She’s giving you a dirty look, her painted red lips pursed and her eyebrows knit together. 

“He’s bad news, Y/N,” she warns. “Seungcheol will tell you about it, and he’d want you to be careful around him.”

“Seungcheol,” your voice is laced with venom, “is in the bathroom with Seo Yookyung. I don’t think he cares what I do, so long as I don’t ruin his reputation.”

“That’s not exactly what I would call a healthy relationship.” 

Both you and Gyuri flinch, startled by the interruption, and turn to scold whoever jumped into a private conversation. 

You fall short, however, your mouth partially hanging open with shock and, honestly, awe. 

From afar, you could tell that he was attractive but now that he’s up close? You feel like you could sink and drown in him. Long dark hair, thin and pointed face, scrutinizing eyes. He was intimidating to most, this you could tell. But to you?

He was the most gorgeous person you had ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes on. 

“Xu Minghao,” Gyuri’s tone is cold and she shuffles to stand just slightly in front of you, something both you and Minghao notice. 

“Jang Gyuri,” Minghao mocks, sticking one of his hands into a pocket in his slacks.

“What are you doing here? Don’t you know by now that you aren’t welcome?” Her words are sharp, and it almost scares you. Gyuri, despite her reputation for being cruel, had always been kind to you. She’d been a sort of mentor to you, teaching you the rights and wrongs in terms of “rich behavior”. She taught you the right people to associate with, and the wrong people to associate with. However, she had never once raised her voice or made you feel unwelcome. Quite unlike how she talks to Minghao. 

“I go wherever I please, Jang Gyuri.” Minghao sighs, a puff of air that makes a few loose strands of hair flutter out of his face. Then his eyes return to you, scanning your body but not in a seductive manner. No, he’s curious. You can see it in his eyes, behind the cold front he puts up. “And…who might you be?” 

“None of your business—”

“L/N Y/N—”

You and Gyuri speak at the same time, and you shut your mouth quickly when she shoots you another nasty look. Minghao, however, is amused. One side of his mouth quirks up in a mild show of this, the corners of his lips picking up. 

“So, which is it?” He inquires. “None of your business or Y/N L/N? I’m not a betting man, but I’d wager that it’s the latter.” 

You poorly stifle a laugh, covering it with a cough. 

“What do you want?” Gyuri hisses out, tapping a heel on the marble floor impatiently. Minghao presses his lips together, loosely shrugging his shoulders. 

“Just wanted to see if I could buy your lovely friend here a drink.”

“She’s taken.”

“She,” you finally interrupt Gyuri and place a hand on her collarbone to gently push her back. “Can speak for herself. And she will need a few more drinks to make it through the night.”

Gyuri sputters out an argument, trying to get you to stop, but Minghao grins down at you and offers his arm. You gladly take it, giving Gyuri one more warning look before you’re tugged away through the crowd. 

“You’re new money.” Minghao leans against the counter next to you while you sit on one of the few open stools left. There’s a martini in front of you, one that’s barely been touched since you received it a few minutes ago. 

“Is it that obvious?” You tilt your head and Minghao smiles, his head dipping down a bit. 

“Not entirely,” he looks back up and shifts his weight. “Only if you know what to look for.” 

“And what, exactly,” you lean toward him, resting your chin on the back of your hand, “are you looking for?”

His tongue runs over his lip, eyebrows furrowing in thought. 

“You’re interesting, Y/N L/N.” Evading the question. 

“Oh?” You finally bring your martini glass to your lips, taking a small sip of the alcoholic beverage. “Why is that, Xu Minghao?” 

“You don’t…you don’t know who I am, do you?” Your lips quirk into a small smile.

“No, I don’t. Is it something important?” 

For the first time since you’d begun talking to him, he falls quiet in a way that shows discomfort. Your smile drops, and you lean back on your stool. 

“Minghao,” you start. “Is there something I should know?” 

You see a muscle in his jaw feather, see his eyes dance around you to see who was around. One of your hands falls to your lap, playing with the expensive fabric of your dress. Now he’s avoiding your questions. 

“I’m…” he huffs out a breath, tilting his head back and scoffing out a laugh. “I can’t believe I’m saying this to someone I just met, but…there’s something about you that I just can’t place.”

“I’ve been told that by many people.” Minghao shifts closer to you, his arm resting on the back of your chair. 

“What else have they told you?”

“That I can be a bit…straightforward.” His other hand is on the counter, and your fingers dance just a bit closer to his, the tips brushing together slightly. “That when I get nervous, I either talk too much or not at all.”

“And…?” He leans his head down a bit. 

“That you’re bad,” your voice lowers, your lips curling into a smirk. “That I should stay away from you.”

“And I take it you don’t listen to these people, do you?” Minghao asks, his voice dropping an octave. There’s tension around you, something so thick you could cut it with a knife.

“Not at all.”

“What would they do if I asked you to leave with me?” His fingers finally lace with yours and you hum, pretending to think.

“Seungcheol might not like that very much.”

Minghao scoffs. “You know damn well that he left a long time ago.” 

“But still…” you sigh and shake your head. “Someone has to be loyal.” 

A nod from the man in front of you, and a sly smile. 

“I understand, and I won’t make you do anything.” He squeezes your hand once, and you feel him slide a piece of paper into your palm. He waits for your fingers to close around the paper before he pulls his hand away. “You’ll know where to find me when you change your mind and drop him. And, when you do, I’ll be waiting.”

When he leaves the building, you feel like you can finally breathe. Your shoulders relax, your heart beating rapidly in your chest. You’re in the middle of trying to get your body under control when Gyuri stomps back over to you. 

“What the hell were you thinking, talking to a man like him?” Her nails dig into your upper arm, scraping into your skin and causing you to suck in a sharp breath. “Are you stupid?”

“I don’t see what your problem is,” you sigh and finish off your martini before sliding off your barstool. Your feet are aching at this point, and you’re just itching to get out of this dress. “He isn’t as bad as you think he is.”

“Xu Minghao isn’t the man he’s seemed to convince you he is.” Gyuri warns you. “He’s a liar, just like his father is. He’ll hurt you, Y/N, and don’t come crying to me when he does. I’ll just tell you that I warned you and tried to stop you. I won’t help you if you get yourself tangled up with him.”

“It’s a good thing I won’t need your help then, isn’t it?” You retort, tearing your arm out of her grip and straightening your posture. “I know exactly what I’m doing, Gyuri, and I won’t let you or Seungcheol stop me anymore.”

“Gyuri tells me you’ve been talking to Xu Minghao.” Seungcheol looks at you in the mirror as he tightens the tie around his throat. You’re in the middle of sliding on another pair of uncomfortable shoes that will have your toes bleeding by the end of the night, and raise your gaze to look at him.

“I have. Only once, though.” Your eyes return to the ground to grab the second heel. For two weeks you had been talking to this…mystery man. You’d learned more about him every day, of his father’s scandals that would have left his family bankrupt had Minghao not come out and saved the company. You found it admirable but most chose to despise him, refusing partnerships and refusing to admit the good he’s done for his company and family as someone so young. 

And, of course, you had only done this with a little bit of research and a quick phone call to the number he slipped into your hand. You’re sure Seungcheol knows this, knows that you’re too curious for your own good. This is something the two of you had argued about far too many times to count, and he’s since given up on trying to stop you.

“I’m sure that you’re aware of everything, then?”

“Aware of Minghao’s father or of your infidelity?” You rise to your feet, and Seungcheol freezes for just a moment before carrying on.

“Ah.”

“If you’re going to whore yourself out,” Your hand brushes against your boyfriend’s shoulder and you spin him around so you can tie the fabric around his neck. “At least do it where no one will see you.” Your lips are drawn into a tight smile and you rest your hand on his chest. “At least do it where no one will see you, my love.”

“I take it…” Seungcheol watches you walk away and listens to the clicking of your heels on the ground. “...that the engagement is off, then?”

“Correct.” 

“What will you do?” You turn to look at the man you once tolerated, now finding him disgusting. 

“I think that I’ll be just fine. I have an apartment, I have a family that loves me, and a thriving company that I need to learn to lead. You, however, should worry about your status once news of your actions hits the papers come Monday.” 

Seungcheol nods slowly, his tongue digging into his cheek. 

“I have a ride to the gala,” you make your way for the bedroom door, lips drawn into a thin line. “I will have someone collect my things tomorrow morning, so make sure everything is exactly as it is now because they will have a list and I will come for everything you have if your toy for the night has the gall to take my belongings again.”

Seungcheol looks at you for a long moment, watching you leave the room before choosing to follow you. 

“And what of the deal your father made with my company?”

“Find someone else,” you shrug. “My father just wanted to make connections and you happened to give him the perfect opportunity to benefit both companies.”

“I could tell people, you know.” Seungcheol places his hand on the front door, stopping you from leaving. You turn to face him, your eyes narrowed. He doesn’t appear angry, yet he isn’t looking too pleased either. “That you had an affair. They would believe me. They would never believe someone like you.”

An easy smile passes over your lips, and you place a hand on his chest. “I don’t need them to believe me. Gyuri, on the other hand…” you kiss your teeth. “She can be quite the devil, no?”

“Gyuri trusts him?” Seungcheol asks and you can practically taste the disbelief. 

“No, she doesn’t,” your lips draw into a thin line. “She does, however, trust me.”

A silent type of anger radiates off Seungcheol as you turn away from him again. This time, when the door shuts, he doesn’t follow you. You’re glad he doesn’t. It makes it much easier to steady your breathing and the shaking in your hands.

You arrive at the party alone this time. There is no Gyuri and no Seungcheol to protect you from the cameras, from the invasive questions, and the microphones shoved into your face. It startles you and before you can get one foot out of the door, your body freezes up. One of the guards your father hired yells something, and then there’s someone sliding into your car and pushing you back. 

“Take a breath,” a soft, silky voice pushes through the yells outside the car. A hand cradles the back of your head, tangling in your long strands of hair, pulling you closer and tucking you into the crook of his neck. “Just breathe, love.” 

Maybe it's the adrenaline, maybe it’s the freedom you now know you have, but suddenly you’re laughing and pulling away from Minghao. He looks just as stunning as the last time you saw him. Dark hair, narrowed eyes, lips drawn into a thin line. He’s wearing a suit similar to last time— all black, the top few buttons of his dress shirt undone. 

“Are you alright?” His hand comes to your cheek, letting you nestle into his gentle hold. “Talk to me, love. Are you alright?” 

But you just keep laughing, and then you’re clutching at his collar and yanking him toward you for a furious kiss. He freezes against you, one hand on your cheek and the other on your waist. It takes him a moment to reciprocate, to get over the initial shock and sink into you. His lips move softly against yours, forcing you to calm down and actually breathe like he’d requested. 

After a few moments, you pull away and lean your forehead against his. 

“So that’s what this is about?” Minghao murmurs. “You just wanted my attention, is that it?” 

“Not necessarily,” you pull away from him, but he doesn’t let you go very far. His hand is just around the curve of your waist, holding you near to him. “I have other reasons.”

“And what would they be?” His lips press against the corner of your mouth, and you feel butterflies erupt in your stomach like a teenager in love.

“I like you, Xu Minghao.” God, you sound like one as well. “Very much.”

“I like you too, Y/N L/N.” Another kiss, this time tilting your head to reach the corner of your jaw. The car starts moving again, and Minghao calls out an address. His address, you assume. 

“You’re gorgeous, Minghao,” He laughs against your skin, trailing his lips down your neck slowly. “It makes it hard, you know.”

“Makes what hard, my flower.” 

“To focus. To talk to you. You make me so nervous, it’s infuriating.” Your breath hitches as he sucks gently at the skin above a vein. Your hand curls around his neck, tangling in his long strands of hair. 

Minghao doesn’t respond, but you don’t mind. Not when he drags you into his lap, the fabric around your body now splayed across the backseat of your car. You can hear your phone ringing, but you ignore it until the sound disappears. You focus on Minghao, focus on the feel of his lips on your skin and his hands all over your body. You focus on swiping your tongue over his lip, on pressing forward until his back is digging into the door, the armrest uncomfortable against his spine but neither of you cares.

Your phone rings again and, this time, Minghao pulls away from you, tilting your chin up and handing you the slim device. 

“It’s your father, I think.” His lips press against your jaw, and you exhale shakily. “Shouldn’t worry him too much.”

“Minghao—”

“Answer him.” His hand replaces his lips, giving your jaw a slight squeeze. “Or I will.”

The third ring comes, and you swallow hard. Minghao smiles, his lips curling up as he takes the phone from your hand and swipes on the green button.

“Y/N.” Your father’s voice is steady, and you can hear the exasperation. “What is this I’m hearing from Choi Seungcheol that the engagement is off?” 

Minghao’s lips touch your neck again, his fingers sliding under the fabric of your gown to trace up your thigh. It takes all the power in your body to not gasp into the microphone, your eyes fluttering as he touches you.

“He— what did he say?” You briefly stumble over your words, trying desperately to keep a firm grip on your phone and nearly failing when Minghao’s hand dips past your lacy underwear. Two fingers prod at your core and your breath hitches. Your free hand drops down and grips Minghao’s wrist tightly. He shoots you a playful smirk, lips puffy from kissing you and from sucking at your neck. You let him go.

“That you’ve left him. That you had an affair with…” you hear shuffling on the other end of the line, and then a loud sigh. “Xu Minghao?”

“That would be a lie, father.” You inform the older man, and Minghao’s fingers sink deep into you. It’s a wonder you haven’t moaned into your phone yet but with the way his skillful hand pumps in and out of you, soon you very well might. His thumb pushes at your clit, and you let your head drop into his neck, begging silently for him to have mercy on your poor mind and body. 

“Is that so?”

“Seungcheol had an affair. Well, several affairs. Minghao simply helped me realize that I wouldn’t—” Your voice cracks as a little whimper almost makes its way out of your mouth. Minghao leans his head against yours and you can feel his cheeks stretching into a smile as he continues to drag his fingers in and out of your sopping-wet walls. He scissors them a bit, and then you feel a third sink into you. Your legs begin to shake and try to close, and with his free hand Minghao grabs onto one of your thighs to hold them open. “—wouldn’t be happy if I stayed with him.”

You hope that the shaking in your voice can pass as upset tears.

“I don’t— It doesn’t matter if you end up happy. I want what’s best for you and the business. Marrying Seungcheol would have balanced this.”

“Marrying Seungcheol would lead to a miserable life and the downfall of two companies.” You snap back, and you hear Minghao beginning to whisper praises into your ear. With red cheeks and a swelling heart, your hips begin to roll down on his fingers. “Minghao, at least, will keep me happy and will benefit both companies in many ways.”

Silence on your father’s end, and a knot begins to form in your stomach. 

“Don’t cum yet, flower.” Minghao murmurs, licking at the skin under your ear. “Wait until he hangs up.”

I can’t. You want to scream. Every curl of his fingers, every brush of his thumb against your clit. It’s all becoming too much for you. It’s incredible you’re able to keep yourself together while on the phone.

“Is this what you really want?” Your father asks, and your whole body shudders against Minghao. 

“It— it is.” You gasp. Another pregnant pause. Fuck, it’s like your father wants you to suffer.

“Have him come by my office tomorrow for lunch. We’ll all talk then.”

You don’t get the chance to respond before he’s hanging up the phone and the car is rolling to a stop. Minghao rips his fingers out of you, effectively ruining the high you’d been approaching. 

“You’re— you’re horrible.” You whine, watching as he brings his fingers to his mouth and sucks them clean. 

“You love it, though.” He grins and slides you off his lap so he can get the door. Your body feels like jelly, your mind in a haze. You hardly notice Minghao tugging you by the hand, guiding you out of the car and to the front door of a beautiful house— so beautiful that it nearly takes your breath away.

Minghao’s arm is placed delicately on the small of your back, and you let him guide you into the house and up a grand marble staircase. You can’t begin to express the awe you feel. You can’t help the giddy feeling in your bones when you reach the top of the staircase and Minghao takes your hand. It appears, however, that he is feeling just about the same as you when he smiles so wide that you fear his lips would become stuck like that, and he drags you quickly toward a bedroom.

You let him press you down on the bed and let him kiss his way from your mouth to your jaw, down your neck, and begin to peel the straps of your gown down your body so he can expose more and more skin. You feel like you’re burning up, feel like your body is being set ablaze wherever he touches your body. The zipper along the side of the dress is tugged town, and you raise your hips so Minghao can peel it down the rest of the way and throw the fabric somewhere across the room.

“I should be mad at you for that,” you say to him, although you relish in the feeling of his lips trailing down the valley of your breasts. “That dress was a very expensive gift.”

“Oh?” Minghao’s voice is muffled, and he tugs your panties down your legs as he speaks. “From who?” 

You watch as he begins to rid himself of his clothing, watch as he reveals every gorgeous inch of his skin to you. 

“Seungcheol.” His gaze hardens when he sees you smirk. 

“Then I should burn it, I think. Replace it with something newer, prettier, pricier.” He hovers his body over yours, lacing the fingers of one hand through your own and using his free hand to align himself with you. A pleased sigh is emitted from your lips as he sinks in, back arching as he begins to stretch you out.

“Is that so?” You breathe out. Your hands tangle in his hair, pulling his face closer until you can kiss him. 

“Mmm.” Minghao hums against you, beginning to roll his hips slowly into yours. “I should burn everything that he has ever given you, I think.” 

You can barely respond, your voice seemingly broken and replaced by gasps for air as he begins to thrust into you harder and faster and you can’t seem to get control of your body. He doesn’t care, though. He doesn’t care that you can only roll your hips into his, can only bite into his skin, and leave dark marks that he won’t be able to hide (not that he would want to). Knowing that you’re enjoying this, fucked too dumb to speak even though he’d only been inside of you for barely a few minutes, it’s all enough for him. It’s more than enough. 

“What would he say if he saw us like this?” Minghao continues, his hands sliding down your legs and gently pushing them farther apart. “Hm? Would he stop me? Would he try to fight for you?”

You try to tell him he wouldn’t, but all that comes out of you is helpless babbles. 

“I would,” he hisses, and the knot in your stomach returns. It builds and builds, growing tighter and tighter with each passing moment. “He doesn’t deserve you. He doesn’t deserve to touch you, to feel you.” 

“And—” you finally manage to choke out a few words. “And what— what m-makes you—oh god, Minghao please— think that— that you do?” 

“You already know why, my flower.” Minghao’s hips are slapping against yours at a pace— at a furosity— that you can’t keep up with, “Do you really need me to spell it out for you?” 

The knot in your stomach snaps, your walls fluttering around him but he’s relentless. He pounds into you as your body convulses underneath him, your pathetic whines and moans turning into desperate wails. 

“I’m better than him in every way,” Minghao grits out, desperately fighting off his own orgasm. “Do you know how long I’ve been keeping an eye on you? How long I’ve wanted to take you from him? You have no idea how hard it was to not take you into the bathroom that night and fuck you the way you deserved. I wanted so badly for you to be mine.”

Overstimulation begins to wash over you, becoming a pleasurable sting that you don’t want to go away. His cock twitches inside of you and his breathing becomes heavier. You can see him trying to say something more, but all that comes out of him is a heavy groan, and then his hips are stuttering against yours. Warm cum spills into you, mixing with your own, and spilling out onto the sheets beneath you. Your legs thrash in Minghao’s grip, but he pins you down as his hips slow. His hair is messy, his forehead tinged with sweat. You can see his mouth hanging open a bit, heavy breaths rolling out of him. 

Do you know how long I’ve been keeping an eye on you?

The sentence replays over and over in your mind amidst the scattered post-sex thoughts. 

How long I’ve wanted to take you from him?

Minghao rolls to the side, laying beside you on his large bed. 

He didn’t say anything to you, and you didn’t say anything to him. 

It was pure silence. A silence that allowed for clear thoughts. 

Do you know how long I’ve been keeping an eye on you?

The drive to your father’s company the next day is…quiet to say the least. There’s an air of discomfort around the two of you and you’re unsure of whether it’s due to him having to meet your father or the conversation that will follow. Minghao, much like the night the two of you met and you’d asked about why everyone seemed to disapprove of him, was tense. His hands were set on his knees, squeezing tightly to the point of his knuckles turning white. His head is turned away from you, keeping his gaze on the city as you drive. It makes you nervous. Had you done something wrong? Was he regretting everything? 

You swallow hard, mimicking his position and turning to look out the window. 

Do you know how long I’ve been keeping an eye on you?

There had been something so off about the way he said that. You still couldn’t quite figure out what it was, and it had your stomach churning uncomfortably. 

The feeling only worsens when you pull up in front of your father’s building and Gyuri is standing with Seungcheol. Both look upset, standing straight with their arms folded behind their backs. 

“What is this?” Minghao murmurs, thanking the driver quietly when his door opens. You slide out behind him, taking his hand in your own as he helps you stand. 

“I’m…I’m not sure what this is.” You admit, your eyebrows knitting together as Gyuri approaches you. “Gyuri, what’s happening?”

“You need to come with me,” she tugs at your arm, attempting to pull you away from your new lover. 

“What?” Your hand tightens in Minghao’s, your feet gluing into place. “What— what are you talking about? Gyuri, what’s going on? What is Seungcheol doing here?” 

“Y/N,” Seungcheol steps toward you, but Minghao is faster and pushes you behind him. Your hand dislodges from his, and you yelp as Gyuri practically rips you away from him. Your knees hit the ground, skin scraping against pavement. The door of the company building practically flies open, a few police officers filing out with your father taking up the rear. 

“Father?” Your throat is closing up, too many emotions pulsing through your body. 

“What is this?” Minghao is yelling. People are stopping on the streets to stare. Gyuri and Seungcheol pull you to your fight, and you don’t think you have the strength to stop them. “Y/N, WHAT IS THIS?”

For a moment, you’re afraid. He lunges for you, and two officers grab at him. He looks rabid, his eyes crazed and teeth bared like some animal as he yells and screams and kicks against the people holding him. Your father approaches you, relief replacing the typical stone-cold gaze he gives you.

“What’s happening?” You’re sobbing now, blood washing down your legs. Gyuri is crying with you, and Seungcheol’s hands are shaking.

“Are you alright?” Your father asks. “Did he do anything to you?”

“I— what—” you can’t breathe. 

“Xu Minghao,” an officer speaks over the commotion. “You are under arrest for the crimes of criminal harassment, assault and battery, and extortion. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney—”

“GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF ME—” Minghao’s hand flies out, nearly clipping the officer in the jaw as he finishes speaking. 

He yells obscenities, yells for you, at you, at the people around him. He curses wildly, using every name under the sun, threatens death upon everyone.

Do you know how long I’ve been keeping an eye on you?

“I’m sorry.” 

Gyuri is sitting on the chair beside you as you get your knees treated. You stare blankly ahead of you, and she turns her head to Seungcheol, silently pleading for help.

“Y/N,” he says slowly, ���do you understand what’s happening?”

No response.

“Minghao…we told you he was not the man you thought he was. You fell too hard, too fast, didn’t give us time to tell you everything.” 

Silence. Gyuri starts talking again, not knowing if you heard anything they were saying.

“He’s…he was planning on using you, Y/N. Using you to get…to get your father’s company, just like he did with his own father. It…it was all fake. Everything you learned about him, everything we all thought we knew about him…it was all lies. It was in the small details.”

People always said you were innocent. People always called you naive. You trusted too easily, loved even easier. It made it easy to use you, to take everything you had and throw you to the side. Some people of new money were able to gain the respect of those of old money, but you?

No one would ever respect you. 

Not after you fell for the gorgeous man, fell for his gorgeous lies and fantasies. 

Thinking about him here in this hospital room…

Something about it makes you want to sink and drown and die. Maybe that would be easier.

“Can… can I leave?” you look up at Seungcheol, tears welling in your eyes. He looks heartbroken. “I want— I want to leave, Seungcheol. Can we leave?”

Heartbroken. That’s the look in his eye that you couldn’t recognize last night. It wasn’t anger, it wasn’t the realization that he had lost you. 

“We can go. It’s over now.”

© itsbeeble. do not steal, claim, or repost.

[luxora]

Red Velvet -> {CEO AU} -> Co-parenting

Requested: No

Group: Red Velvet

Genre: Angst. Fluff.

Warnings: Mentions of infidelity. Mentions of joint and sole custody. Some swearing.

Irene

RING!

RING!

RING!

RING!

Joohyun couldn’t help but glare at the offending sound of her work phone on her desk, disturbing the peaceful bubble that she had created for herself as she worked through the new designs that had finally been submitted to her by the architects. She silently marked the the design she was currently reviewing before she leaning over and plucked the phone off its body, bringing it to her ear with an annoyed huff.

“Bae speaking.”

“Where the fuck were you?”

The sound of her spouse immediately shot ice through Joohyun’s body, shock quickly filling her as the sound of your voice tingled through all her sense, making her suddenly sit upright in her desk chair despite already having a perfect posture.

“Y-Y/N?”

“Who else?” You hissed from your side of the phone, a the sound of something dropping following your words, causing you to let out a curse before you huffed again. “Where the fuck were you?”

“What do you-”

“Areum waited for you for three hours Joohyun! Why the hell didn’t you pick her up from school!”

Joohyun’s eyes widened at your words, her head snapping to the large clock she had in her office wall, the blood draining from her face as she realized the clock hands were three places ahead of the time she had intended to leave to pick up her daughter from school. She then looked back at her desk, finally realizing the large amount of paperwork that was covering her desk. She couldn’t even see the surface of her clear, glass desk, she couldn’t even see a glimpse of her dark mahogany flood through her desk.

“I...Y/N...” She had started, her mind flurried in multiple thoughts as she tried to think of a reasonable explanation for her to be forgetting your and her daughter at school, but then you interrupted her with a scoff.

“Let me guess, got caught up in work again? Did that work include a blonde with long legs and a tight pencil skirt?”

Joohyun immediately ducked her head, her own body almost shriveling up on its own from the implication of your words. She couldn’t help but bite down hard on her bottom lip, her mind flashing back to the time when she lost control over her life and then eventually did lose it when you had found out about the ‘work’ which was keeping her from coming home to you and Areum.

“...Nothing of the sort happened Y/N. I can promise you that.” She said, her hand tightening into a fist as she stared into her lap. She heard you scoff.

“Yeah right.”

“I fired her Y/N. Nauen is not-”

“I don’t want to hear that bitch’s name Joohyun. I don’t care if you are or not fucking her. I just want you to be fucking there for Areum.”

“I am there for her!” Joohyun suddenly exclaimed, defensiveness immediately filling her as she thought about her beautiful 9-year old daughter, her dark hair as soft and sleek as her own, while her eyes were large and bright like yours. She was the perfect combination of both of you, although Joohyun did like to think she looked a little bit more like her. Areum certainly was Joohyun’s baby twin when she was a newborn.

“And yet today I got a phone call in a middle of a meeting from our crying daughter, begging me to pick her up because Mommy had forgotten her again. Are you telling me that is you being there for her?”

“...”

Joohyun didn’t know what she could say to rectify the situation. She messed up again, and she had promised herself the last time she had forgotten about Lia that she would not do it again. She had promised you, telling you that it would the literal last time she would forget. And yet she just proved once again that her word hardly meant anything anymore. It most definitely did not mean anything to you anymore.

The face of her daughter filled her head, her beautiful eyes filled with tears, along with her puffy cheeks being painted with the salty drops as she called you, heartbreak obvious in her voice because Joohyun was unable to fulfill her maternal responsibility to be there to pick her up during a difficult time. Her actions had already caused so much hard to Lia, and she was only making it worse through small actions like this.

“I’m sorry Y/N.” She heard you scoff on the other side of the phone.

“Yeah, sure.”

“I am! I am sorry Y/N, I will make it up to her. And to you.”

“How? By making yet another empty promise? Forget it Joohyun, I am not going to keep breaking Areum’s heart like this anymore.”

The way that you had said that made Joohyun’s blood freeze in her veins. Joohyun subconsciously tightened her grip on her work phone as she swallowed the building bile in her mouth as a means to try steady herself from the oncoming scenarios that were filling her head in reaction to your phone.

“What do you mean by that?” She asked carefully, trying to not show the building nerves that were climbing up her throat. She heard you huff on the other side.

“I’m changing the agreement. I want sole custody.“

“No.” Joohyun immediately answered, her body unable to remain still at your words as she shot up from her seat and began to pace away from her desk, her nails digging into her palm as she tightened her fist. “You can’t do that. I won’t allow it.”

You scoffed again.

“You are not in the position to suddenly stop things from happening.”

“You can’t take Areum from me. I can make it up to her.”

“Until you do it again to her! Face it Joohyun, you can’t be there for Areum, I can!”

“I can be there for her! And for you!”

Desperation and outrage was clawing at Joohyun’s chest, making itself obvious in her voice as she slammed her hand against her her cabinet which happened to contain the alcoholic beverages she would at times share with business associates when they worked late on designs, or with you when the two of you were still...together.

“Stop living in a delusion Joohyun. You can’t and you won’t.”

“She’s my daughter!”

“Our daughter, but as of late she has just become mine.”

Joohyun gritted her teeth tightly, pressure building up behind her eyes while her bottom lip began to tremble. She could not stand this conversation any longer. Joohyun grabbed her bag without a second of hesitation and darted out her office, uncaring of the work she left on her desk. She just needed to get to you and Areum, she needed to get this sorted out.

“I’m coming over. I need to set this straight with you. And Areum.”

“Joohyun, don’t you even think about-”

“I am doing it Y/N! I won’t lose the two of you any more than I already have!”

Joohyun hung up the phone and hurried into the elevator, slamming her finger against the ground floor level repeatedly until the metal doors closed. She needed to get to you as soon as she could. She could not lose Areum or you any more than she already has. She has to make it up to the two of you, most particularly Areum.

Seulgi

... It was too awkward.

Seulgi and you had yet to share a single glance with one another as the two of you sat in the principle’s office, both of you with your legs and arms crossed as you waited patiently for the principle to return from his brief meeting outside with his secretary. Seulgi couldn’t help but tap her fingers against her arm, trying to keep her mind somewhat occupied in order to avoid starting a conversation with you which could lead to two different directions: tears or screams.

Even though she was given some kind of small warning that you were going to be in attendance of the private meeting too by her secretary, she still found herself vastly unprepared in seeing you face-to-face, especially since you still looked as beautiful as the day you had kicked her out your and her shared apartment. Even when furious, you were delightfully beautiful, but Seulgi could not stand the distance between the two of you. The two of you had been married for over ten years, and a little extra during your dating years, but now it was as if there was an invisible abyss between the two of you, pulling you further and further away from one another.

When the principle eventually returning to his office, Seulgi couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief because the silence in the room would finally be put to an end. Seulgi readjusted her sitting position to appear more straight and controlled, waiting expectantly for the principle to start speaking as he took a seat and looked at the both of you.

“Mrs and Mrs Kang, lovely to see the two of you albeit I wish it had been under different circumstances.”

You immediately stiffened at the principle’s addressing of you, immediately making Seulgi tense defensively at your reaction, especially since the two of you have hardly made your separation known to the public. The two of you were in a fickle position, having being partners in marriage and business and it was not exactly easy for the two of you to separate yourselves entirely from one another, especially since both your and Seulgi’s families business merged when the two of you had married. While it was previously believed that the two of you had married for the sake of the merge, it was quite the opposite as the two of you had genuinely fallen in love before the idea of marriage was brought to the table.

But then things quickly became mucked up between the two of you when the business got in the way of the marriage.

“So do we.” You had answered in return, answering for the both of them as Seulgi made no effort to acknowledge the principle. She instead offered him a nod, prompting him to clear his throat before he laced his fingers together and placed them on top of his desk.

“Right, so as you might have been informed by my secretary, there was a small...incident that involved your son and another student.”

“An incident?’ Seulgi asked, crossing her legs and fixing the principle with a fixed look. He nodded.

“Yes, it appears that your son and his classmate were caught in a verbal argument before its escalated into a physical fight.”

“A fight...with Jinyoung?”

You were shocked at the news, your voice making it very obvious. Seulgi glanced at you and noticed your jaw was slightly ajar, your posture much straighter than before. Seulgi couldn’t help but share in your shock. Jinyoung was such a quiet boy, it was very unlike him to become aggressive and get into a fight.

“Yes ma’am. As you know, our school has a zero-tolerance for violence. I am afraid that this incident risks for Jinyoung to possibly be suspended, or even expelled.”

Seulgi’s eyes widened at the principle’s words, uncrossing her legs adn leaning forward on the edge of her seat.

“Surely that is a bit severe for a small fight between two children.” Seulgi started, but the principle fixed her with a look.

“It was not small Mrs Kang. Your son and his classmate disrupted the class entirely, one of their female classmates were even hurt in the incident because of their physical exchange. I cannot treat this lightly.”

“I understand that, but you cannot treat it so severely that our eight year-old son always has a permanent record all because of something that was said between him and his classmate.” Seulgi retorted, her eyes narrowed as she continued to stare at the principle. “What was the argument about anyway?”

“...”

The principle did not have an answer for her, his face becoming blank and then slightly a bit sheepish, telling Seulgi immediately that he had not bothered to investigate the fight any further aside from the exchanging of blows and injuries caused by it. And it seemed that you noticed it the same time as Seulgi did, because you mirrored Seulgi’s stance, staring at the principle with a more intense look.

“Are you telling me that you did not bother to find the reason behind the fight? We know our son and we know that he would never do something like this unless he was provoked. You are threatening to suspend or expel our son without a probable cause? Should we call our lawyer and have then investigate this matter instead?”

Even though Seulgi believed that perhaps threatening the use of their family lawyer was rather bold, she did not undermine you as she let you do what you did best, play the bad-cop persona that you were born to play. Between the two of you, you were always the one who would never mince words. Your intentions come very clearly to others, and the principle could very much tell what you were insinuating.

“Mrs Kang, surely that would not be necessary-.”

“You are threatening the future of my son, I believe it is very necessary.”

“I...I will have their homeroom teacher followup on the reason behind the argument. Please...let’s not escalate it further than it needs to be.”

“We will give you until tomorrow to give us a solid answer, otherwise you will expect a call from our lawyer.”

You stood up from your seat with a harsh glare on the principle, Seulgi mirroring your actions and not sparing the principle a single glance before she marched towards the door and opened it, stepping aside to let you exit the office first before following after you. She slammed the door shut with enough force to emphasis her aggravated point, a smile crawling along her face as she turned to look at you.

“Nicely done.”

“I won’t let him bully us into letting Jinyoung get expelled. I won’t.” You hissed, turning around to look at her, your body slightly trembling due to your anger. Seulgi nodded at you.

“I know you won’t, you are a fierce lioness, you will go for the kill against anyone who messes with your cub.”

“Damn straight.” You answered, a resolute look in your eyes as you instantly agreed with her.

A few moments of silence passed between the two of you before you suddenly licked your lips and then sighed, tucking behind a loose strand of hair behind your ear before looking at Seulgi with a slightly tired look.

“We will need to talk to Jinyoung.”

“Yeah, we do.” Seulgi agreed, tucking her hands in her pockets and swaying on the spot for a few moments before looking at you from under her lashes. “Can I...should we meet at a cafe or something? I think I should be there when we talk.”

“...yeah, lets do that.” You agreed, giving a small nod at Seulgi’s suggestion, making the businesswoman relax.

Seulgi couldn’t even remember the last time the three of you were in the same room together. Despite the obvious distance between the two of you, you have both tried to shield Jinyoung from the impending disaster between you and her marriage, but deep down, Seulgi feels that Jinyoung knows a lot more than he should. Seulgi not being in the family home is proof enough for the young boy to realize there were issues between his two parents, and Seulgi has been hoping to put off the conversation for a while. 

“Alright, um...do you want to pick up Jinyoung and I find a suitable cafe for the three of us? I can send the location.”

“...Sure.”

“Alright...see you in a few then?” Seulgi asked carefully, which you responded with a nod. “Great.”

Wendy

Seungwan had not expected to receive a phone call from you so late in the night but she answered it nonetheless, having promised you that she will always answer a message or phone call from you no matter what, something which she had fulfilled before, during, and after the marriage. She was groggy with sleep but she was suddenly awake when she heard your sobs on the other side of the phone, her body shoot up from the mattress at you distress.

“Y/N? What’s wrong?”

“S-Seugwan...i-its Areum. S-She is in the hospital.”

Ice immediately filled Seungwan’s veins at those words, her whole body freezing on the spot as her heart literally dropped to her stomach. Seungwan was surprised that she managed to keep her voice steady as she spoke to you.

“Y/N, what happened? Why is Areum in the hospital?”

“I...she was...she woke up screaming and s-sad her stomach was hurting. I-I drove her to the hospital and...and they suspect it is her appendix.”

“Okay, are you still at the hospital?’ Seungwan asked, leaping out of her bed and rushing to her closet to get some decent clothes.

“Y-yes.”

“Alright. Stay there. I am heading over now.” She said, tugging on a pear of jeans and grabbing a hoody before hurrying out of her bedroom. “Just stay calm. I’m on my way.”

“O-Okay.”

Seungwan hung up the phone and quickly grabbed her car keys before rushing into her garage and leaping into her car. She probably broke about a dozen traffic laws driving to the hospital but Seungwan did not car as she parked and then hurried in the hospital, nearly biting the receptionists head off when she uttered your and Areum’s name before being directed to the waiting area for operations. Seungwan immediately caught sight of you as you were pacing along the floor, you being dressed in your pajama pants and a hoody, tears streaming down your cheeks.

“Seungwan...” you rasped when you eventually caught sight of her, a sob leaving your lips as you reached for her, collapsing into her arms when Seungwan eventually reached you.

Seungwan didn’t hesitate wrapping her arms around you as you began to sob in her chest, your body trembling as you tightly gripped at her hoody, grabbing handfuls of the material. Seungwan did not say anything, she simply held you as you let out all your stress and fear, the smell of your apple shampoo filling her sense, almost calming her down as she closed her eyes and reveled in it.

Even though the two of you had divorced two years ago, the two of you made an effort to still be there for Areum even though the two of you were neither married. The two of you had married young, far too young to understand the struggles that came with marriage and the effort it took to make it work. The two of you were best friends who had fallen in love and then decided to runaway from your small-town homes to make a life in the city. The two of you struggled a lot adjusting to the city life, the two of you getting into pretty intense fights, but the two of you tried to make it work, eventually establishing a business together that eventually progressed into something much bigger than the two of you ever anticipated.

The two of you loved each but sometimes love is not enough to maintain a marriage. Areum had been an attempt to bridge the distance between the two of you but it did not work. The fights got worse and eventually the fights were affecting Areum, which led to the two of you that the best course of action for the two of you and for Areum was to get divorced. Seungwan won’t lie and say it was an easy decision, she wanted to make it work, but she knew that it was the best thing that could be done for the family, even if it meant that she could not fall asleep in your arms.

Seungwan still loved you even now; therefore, she found no problem in you soaking her hoody in your tears because you obviously needed someone to be your pillar of support right now, especially since your and her daughter was in the middle of an operation to deal with a burst appendix.

“It will be okay Y/N. It will be okay.” She cooed, rubbing the back of your head while her other arm was wrapped around your waist. You sobbed further in her chest.

“I...It just came out of nowhere. S-Seung,,,she was in so much pain.”

“She’s a fighter Y/N, she will be fine. I know she will be.”

“S-She was screaming so much-”

“Shhh, shhh, don’t think about that now. Think about her getting better.”

Seungwan had no idea how long she stood in that waiting area with you in her arms but she did not care. You were stressed and scared enough as it is, she could sacrifice her comfort to give you the much needed comfort that she was capable of providing. Eventually she managed to convince you to take a seat in the area, holding your hand tightly in hers while the two of you waited for any further notice regarding Areum.

“S-Seung...” You whispered, your fingers gripping Seungwan’s hands tightly as you stared at her with tearful eyes. She turned to you. “I-I’m so scared.”

“Shh, Areum will be fine. She is our daughter, she will be fine.” Seungwan comforted, raising her other hand to stroke your cheek, eyes soft and supportive as she tried to ease your fear.

Your bottom lip trembled but your leaned into her touch, closing your eyes as you soaked in the warmth she provided you before looking away, fixing your eyes on the operation door, waiting for a doctor or a nurse to come out and call out for you and Seungwan. Seungwan squeezed your hand and waited beside you, similarly looking at the door and waiting for someone to call for the two of you, her own bundle of nerves building up within her as she waited for news on Areum.

While she wanted to cry and stress herself, she knew she couldn’t because that would send you into a further panic. She needed to be the strong one right now between the two of you, and she will happily be it because it was both what you and Areum needed.

When a doctor eventually came out of the operation door and called out Areum’s name, both you and Seungwan leapt to your feet and hurried to the doctor, hands interlock as the two of you took comfort from one another.

“Areum, how is she? Is our baby okay?” You demanded, eyes wide with tears still obvious with them. You looked about ready to interrogate the man, almost reaching out to grab him if it wasn’t for Seungwan tugging you back to give a respectable distance between themselves and the doctor. The doctor gave Seungwan a thankful look before looking at you, a small smile on his face.

“Everything will be alright with your daughter ma’am. It was close but we managed to remove the appendix successfully. She sustained no further injuries. She will make a full recovery.”

Relief immediately flooded Seungwan from the news, but it was more ovbious on your body as you literally deflated in front of both Seungwan and the doctor. You turned to Seungwan and all but wrapped her in a tight embrace, a relieved sob leaving your lips as you nuzzled your face in her shoulder.

‘She’s alright.” You rasped, a smile on your face which made Seungwan smile as she hugged you back just as tightly.

“Of course she is, she’s our daughter after all.” Seungwan’s smile widened at the sound of your chuckle before she turned to look at the doctor. “Can we go see her?”

“Of course, if the two of you would like to follow me.”

You pulled away from Sengwan and wiped at your eyes, obviously trying to erase your evidence of crying but without any success. But neither you or Seungwan cared as the two of you walked after the doctor, hands still entwined to go greet Areum.

Joy

The tension between the two of you could be cut with a knife, both of you standing off like two countries about to go off to war but the only thing that could be lost was the relationship between the two of you which was bad enough as it is. Sooyoung’s eyes flickered to your partner on your far side, them having being strategic enough to make sure they would not be within punch distance from Sooyoung.

But then again, Sooyoung had pretty long limbs. She will be able to reach if she really wanted to.

...

Better not.

“Y/N.” She said politely, not pointedly not addressing your partner’s name despite it being ingrained in her mind after she heard you screaming their name from your and her bedroom when she arrived home early from a business trip.

“Sooyoung.” You greeted back, glancing back at your partner before looking back at her. “You look well.”

“Thank you.”

“...”

“...”

Neither of you said anything else, simply locking eyes for a few long moments before Sooyoung took her seat beside you, internally hissing at the close contact she was being forced to endure for at least an hour at her children’s school play. You clearly your throat and shifted, accidentally bumping Sooyoung with your elbow before whipping back to look at her.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t mention it.”

“...”

“...”

“So um, Sooyoung, how is your-”

“I am already forced to endure your presence at my children’s concert, do not make it worse by actually speaking to me.” Sooyoung hissed at your partner, flashing them a glare so cold that she would not be surprised if icicles had been shot into your partners chest.

Your partner immediately shrunk back into their seat, looking away with a frightened whimper while you turned to glare at her, your hand entwined with your partner’s tightening protectively.

“There is no need for you to be so rude Sooyoung.”

“Oh, am I being rude? My apologies, I meant to be more restrained, but you know how one usually acts when there is an annoying mosquito around...you just have to squash them before they get arrogant.”

“Listen Sooyoung, I know that this isn’t ideal, but-”

“Yes I agree. This isn’t ideal. This is our son’s and daughter’s school play and you decided to bring your damn side piece, fully knowing that I was going to attend. I know that you struggle in the thinking department, but I would have liked to think you had at least a bit of common sense.”

Your gritted your teeth angrily at Sooyoung, not daring to argue back because you knew that she was hitting the nail right on the head. It was true, it was stupid of you to bring your partner to the school play while knowing Sooyoung was going to attend. Areum and Jinyoung had asked for both of you to attend, the twins wanting to have both parents in attendance and even though things have fallen apart between you and Sooyoung, both of you were making a decent effort to be there for your children. But your partner had started to become rather...needy in the sense that they wanted to be more involved with the twins.

So you had purchased them a ticket...to the consequence that you infuratied Sooyoung with their presence.

“...Can you at least be civil.” You asked, making Sooyoung scoff in response.

“As long as they don’t utter a single word, I will be the politest woman in the world.”

“Don’t ruin this for Areum and Jinyoung.”

“You have already ruined it by bringing them here. You just better not bring them to the play dinner, otherwise I really will make a fuss.”

“You wouldn’t do that to the twins.”

“And yet you just accused me of ruining things now for them. I am a woman who has nothing to lose Y/N, I am the more dangerous one between the two of us. be careful.”

Sooyoung’s warning may appear vague to others but it was obvious to you. Since you were the one who had the affair, you were not the one who had the power to make the major decisions. You were lucky enough that Sooyoung agreed to joint-custody between you and her. Even though she was furious by your infidelity, she was kind enough to grant you the same opportunity as her to spend time with the twins. But she could easily take it away if she wanted to, especially since she was always watching your partner with a critical eye when near the twins.

“...I’m sorry, just...just please let’s not make a scene.”

“I won’t as long as your stupid toy doesn’t utter a single sound.”

Sooyoung always pointedly would discuss things with you involving your partner right in front of them, uncaring if it was making them feel invisible or not. They had purposefully wrecked Soooyung’s marriage with you, encroaching on you despite your marriage status. But you were just as equal to blame as they were, you had allowed yourself to be seduced into another person’s arms when Sooyoung was out working to support the family.

You opened your mouth to say something but you stopped with the stage hall suddenly darkened, an indication that the play was about to start. Sooyoung noticed you glance at her one last time but she purposefully ignored , instead fixing her attention on the stage as she readied herself in slight anticipation to watch her son and daughter perform in the school play.

She noticed you turn to your partner from the corner of her eye but she ignored it. You were not the focus tonight, Areum and Jinyoung were, and so she was going to keep it that way. They had asked for the two of you to attend and be peaceful with one another, and she was going to carry out that wish, even if it meant she had to deal with the presence of the person who stole her wife.

Yeri

The words were so taunting to her as she stared at the document that you had slid to her on the kitchen counter, the glasses of wine that she had poured for the two of you remaining untouched as you watched Yerim read through the first page of the document you had drawn up with your lawyer. Yerim remained unmoving, inaudible, and completely withdrawn.

“...I refuse.”

Yerim looked up from the paper to look at you, her eyes resolute with determination while you simply sighed, shaking your head as you turn your back and took a few steps away from her, walking over to the kitchen sink to try gather your thoughts. Yerim stood up from the kitchen stool, her eyes locked on your back as she walked around the kitchen counter.

“We can make it work Y/N. We can go to a counselor, sort out our issues, we can-”

“Our issues are not something that some stranger can just fix Yerim.” You said, not bothering to look back at her but you words were as sharp as a knife.

Yerim continued to walk towards you but she stopped when you raised your hand to stop her, your fingers tense and straight as you held them in the air for a few moments before returning them back to your crossed arms. You were staring out the kitchen window at the clear night sky, the stars shining brightly in the galaxy above, being the only witnesses to the unfolding scene,

“Just sign the papers.”

“I am not signing away Jinyoung.” Yerim snapped, not taking another step forward but also not retreating.

 She was not just going to sign away her newborn son or wife. She has also been skilled at fixing problems and this should be no different. The two of you have gotten into fights before, but never to the extent that you were offering her divorce papers. The document’s existence had completely knocked her off her feet and she was trying to stand up again.

“You’re not signing him away. We can share custody.” You reasoned, still staring out at the kitchen window. Yerim scoffed.

“I basically am. I am giving away half my rights and time with him. He is my son, I am entitled to have him in my home.”

“He is just as much my son as he is yours and you are not entitled to anything.” You finally turned around to look at her, your eyes blazing with an unsaid anger that made Yerim pause in her retort. She had never seen such a fire in you, not even in your and her past arguments. “We decided together to have a baby, and yet you have forced your entire idea of a legacy of him without even consulting me.”

“Is this about the camp? Because I can-”

“This is not about the damn camp Yerim.” You said, marching towards the businesswoman and pressed a sharp finger into her chest, your teeth bared like an animal as you glared at her. “This is about you forgetting the fact that we had a baby because we wanted to start a family, not for you to build a little soldier to honor that stupid legacy that your family has always been obsessed with.”

Yerim couldn’t help but scowl at the mention of her family, you obviously know how much of a sensitive issue they were to the businesswoman. After all, she was forced into business by her father and then pressured to marry by her mother. She was fortunate enough that they had deemed you an acceptable match for her as a her wife, but lately it seemed that a tension had developed between the two of you, especially after you had discovered to be pregnant. She had assumed it was simply because of pregnancy blues or whatever came with it, but now it has seemed to escalated from moody moments to a full-scale separation.

“Don’t bring my family into this. This is about us.”

“Yes, exactly. This is about us and what is best for us, something which you seem to have deemed yourself to be the only one capable of making such decisions!”

You whipped yourself away from Yerim again and started to walk away, only for Yerim to stop you by gripping you by the arm. She tugged you back and forced you too look at her by grabbing you by the soldiers.

“Stop walking away from me! Where is all of this coming from?!” She demanded, urging you to answer her, only to be met with you pushing her away from you, making Yerim stumble into the kitchen counter behind her. You let out a frustrated huff before threading your fingers in your hair and tugging.

“This is coming from the fact that you believe that everything that you say is law! I am feeling suffocated Yerim! I want out!”

“Out? Out of what?”

“Out of this damn marriage!” Your eyes were blazing as you screamed at her, your eyes resembling hot coals as you removed your hands from your hair and instead tightened them into fists by your side. “I am sick of feeling like I am a prisoner on parole with an ankle bracelet! You and your family are suffocating me! I want want to leave!”

“Where is all of this coming from? Did my mother speaker to you? My father?”

Your silence immediately answered her question, making a blaze of fury appear in her body as she walked back to you and grabbed you hand, her other hand cupping your neck and urging you to look at her.

“Y/N, listen to me, just tell me what my parents aid and I will-”

“No.”

You grabbed Yerim’s hands and forced them off you, taking a few steps backwards to make space between the two of you. You shook your head and turned around, leaning on the kitchen sink for support, ducking your head down to recentre yourself before finally speaking again.

“I am exhausted Yerim. I just want this all to end.”

“Listen Y/N.” Yerim started, taking steps towards you, desperation clawing up her throat and threatening to burst but she tried her best to center herself. She swallowed thickly before reaching out to you again, her hand placing itself on your shoulder. “We can sort through this together. We...we can go away somewhere, we can...we can just...be. Please baby, please don’t force us into this.”

“...I am not the one who forced us into this.’ You finally said, turning around and forcing Yerim’s hand to drop from your shoulder. Your eyes had a deep sadness in them which had previously been masked by the anger from the argument, exhaustion mixed with it. “I am the one who decided to finally address it.”

“Y/N-”

“I know that you feel the same Yerim. You just have been too proud to admit it.”

“I have not been to proud about anything. Y/N, we just need to-”

Yerim was interrupted by the sound of the baby monitor, the cries of Jinyoung echoing in the kitchen, matching the cries that were coming upstairs from the nursery. You sighed in exhaustion before turning away, heading towards the staircase. “I’ll get it.”

“Y/N-”

“Please Yerim, I beg of you...just sign it and let me free.”

You finally exited the kitchen, leaving Yerim behind in a stunned silence with a broken heart in the company of a set of documents which had completely wrecked the perfect life that she had previously believed that she had.

[daemour]

Pairing: heiress! Bae Joohyun x gn! Reader

Genre: Angst, light fluff, mentioned arranged marriage

Warnings: arguing, some manipulation, suggestive content (13+)

Summary: When faced with a marriage she doesn't want, Joohyun decides to take matters into her own hands

Word Count: 713

Tipsy drabbles are back with a vengeance! Hope you guys enjoy it <3 its a short one hehe

-

“Miss Joohyun,” you practically sprint after your friend and employee, the soon-to-be wife of the business mogul Beomjun Kim. “Whatever is the matter?”

Joohyun spins around, her brows furrowed and her lips pursed in a perfect display of discontent. In this moment, you’re struck with her ethereal beauty once more. Having worked with her for almost half your life, you’re rarely caught off-guard by it. But at this moment, she looks ready to strike you down, like the queen she is supposed to be.

“‘Whatever is the matter’, you ask? The matter is that I have no choice in my future. No chance at finding my own love!” Joohyun’s eyes flash. “And that, that pig is going to be my husband? He has no clue how to run his business, much less the combined efforts of both our families. And yet, my parents decided to have him be the one for me to marry?”

Your eyes widen at the blatant disrespect Joohyun has displayed, your eyes darting around to make sure no one else is within earshot. “Miss Joohyun! You know he’s already part of the board of your father’s company! You can’t say such things.”

Joohyun scoffs. “I’d much rather die than be with him for the rest of my life.” She stalks forward, reaching out to grab your hands. “(Y/N), you’ve got to understand me. You can’t possibly want me to be married to that thug either.”

Your mouth opens and closes as you stare at her. “I–” Joohyun blinks at you, the epitome of innocence although you both know that’s far from the truth. In the many years you and your family have served the Bae family, you’ve grown fond of the young woman who grew up alongside you. And she has found company in you as well. But her feelings surely do not match yours. “I’d rather you found someone you genuinely cared for, Miss Joohyun. But I cannot sway your parents’ decisions.”

Joohyun’s eyebrow raises. “I’m not asking you to. Lord knows their decisions will never change. But there is something we can do.” She leans in, her breath fanning over you and everything in you stiffens. “Run away with me.”

You blink once, twice. “What?” It comes out as a whisper, and Joohyun chuckles at the look on your face.

“Run away with me, (Y/N). Come on. Ever since we got older, we’ve hardly had time to spend with each other. I don’t want to marry Beomjun, and you can’t possibly want to work for my family for the rest of your life. It’s mutually beneficial.”

A frown pulls at the corner of your lips. “But I can’t possibly upend my life like that. My family would be devastated. I want to go with you, but I can’t bring myself to.”

Joohyun’s facial expression changes. Not to disappointment, or anger, but something else you can’t place. Something akin to a cat getting ready to pounce. “(Y/N),” she hums, leaning in just a tad more, and your breath catches in your throat. “Couldn’t you come with me, because I want you there?”

And before you can protest any more, Joohyun leans in and presses a soft kiss to your lips. Your eyes squeeze shut. It’s what you’ve dreamt of at night when no one is away but your shallow breaths as you sneak a hand down your pyjama pants. A daydream you find yourself in as you clean the kitchen, imagining her slender arms wrapping around your waist as she presses kisses below your ear.

Deep in your mind, you know she doesn’t love you, not in the way she’s promising. The daughter of a business mogul, Joohyun is an expert in manipulating feelings. But maybe you’re so far gone, that if she wants you to believe she loves you, you’ll let yourself fall.

“If you want me, you can have me,” you murmur, and Joohyun’s face brightens at your quiet defeat. The sight of it makes a warmth bloom in your gut and you let a smile grace your face although your brain is screaming for you to pull back.

Living in a lie is worth it as long as she looks at you. Even if it’s not the way you look at her.

[ao3feed-ateez]

El Reino de las Estrellas

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Nq5IeGQ by 333gracie333 Jongho, un bastardo proveniente del reino de Adara parece estar destinado a fingir su verdadero ser por siempre. La paz parece ser lejana, especialmente cuando su mala suerte lo arroja al reino de las Estrellas. Su vida se encuentra en juego y cuando el príncipe Yunho, sucesor del trono aparece en su camino, fingir que es un alfa comienza a ser desgarrador. Words: 991, Chapters: 1/?, Language: Español Fandoms: ATEEZ (Band) Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Choi Jongho (ATEEZ), Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ), Kim Hongjoong, Kang Yeosang, Choi San (ATEEZ), Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Park Sandara | Dara, Bae Joohyun | Irene, Kim Junmyeon | Suho Relationships: Choi Jongho/Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ) Additional Tags: Omegaverse, Fluff, Smut, Light Angst, Omega Choi Jongho (ATEEZ), Omega Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Omega Kang Yeosang, Alpha Kim Hongjoong, Alpha Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ), Alpha Choi San (ATEEZ), Minor Choi San/Jung Wooyoung (ATEEZ), Minor Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong, King Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ), Prince Kang Yeosang, War, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Top Jeong Yunho (ATEEZ), Bottom Choi Jongho (ATEEZ), Choi Jongho Needs a Hug (ATEEZ) read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Nq5IeGQ

[jeskoholic]

A Little Piece of You Chapter 13: The Mending and the Melancholy

This is a chapter from an on-going series. If you missed out on the previous entries, you can check my masterlist.

Previous chapter: X & Y

Word count: 6,804

Tags: Male OC, Angst, Mystery girl, College, Breakup (?)

Enjoy!

---

“So, after you and Wonyoung broke up, you never had a chance to talk again Jae-in? She never cared to even explain things to you, especially clarify what happened after you two broke up?” Bae Joohyun asked after a short while of silence, her attention split on consuming another one of Jae-in’s bought tarts and keeping her fury within. Her statement was met with a quick shake of the young man’s head as he then proceeded to give an answer.

“We… we actually talked again, although I would not count our next encounter to be an explanation of sorts. Of course I was still bitter towards her, and I don’t think anyone can blame me for that, so I ceased reaching out to her for a good couple of months. However, she surprisingly contacted me last semester out of nowhere. I honestly forgot about her already at that point so I’m surprised she even contacted me.”

Joohyun raised an eyebrow and glared at her brother.

“She did that? Well, what did she tell you then? What did she want of you? Did she even care to give you an explanation?”

“Actually no… she was… I don’t know what’s going on her head but she wanted to talk to me again… even invited me to go clubbing with her and promised a couple of drinks here and there. I just backed off because I know that she’s still dating the same guy from before, even above the reason that I don’t want to have anything to do with her. It would look so bad once I kept on talking to her especially when the guy finds out what she’s doing behind his back.”

Joohyun scoffed.

“The audacity; do you still have this Jang Wonyoung’s number, Jae-in? Do you still know where she lives?”

“I really don’t…. why?”

“She invited you to go clubbing, right? I’ll give her the clubbing she wants. I’m going to head there and golf-club her house’s windows right now! She was the one who asked for it, Jae-in!”

“Yah, noona, that’s not necessary… it’s been a long time and I’m not even talking to her; nor would I imagine me doing that for the next couple of years. It’s okay. I don’t intend to do so. I’ve moved on.”

“That still isn’t enough!” the step-sister raised her voice as her face dangerously turned wolfish. “My co-workers always criticize me for being too keen on boys, but if there’s one thing that I hate more than that are girls who are overly too flirty! She needs to be taught how to get her hands away from you!”

“Noona…”

“Yah, if you’re going to pick another girl who’s just like Wonyoung, I’m going to kick you off of my house,” she said with both her eyebrows raised. “Yoon Jae-in, I mean it. Your heart is way too precious to just give on people who would readily break it, you pabo. Stay single for a while and find the best girl for you, okay?”

“I… I get it noona… t-thank you.”

“And she better be pretty. I should be your standard, you small bean. Your next girlfriend should be equal or even better than your own sister, and then at least I could be confident that she can take care of such a fragile heart like you. She better be serious too. If you’re at the same age and she’s still way too playful, don’t even consider her. You need someone who is mature, not someone who’s still thinking of playing games.”

“Yah, if I were to put you as my standard, noona, I might die single because no one else could come close to you.”

She raised her fork as if aiming to smack Jae-in with it.

“Hey, if that’s the case you’re not going to die alone, you pabo! If you end up not getting married, it’s not like I’m leaving you here! Of course I’ll be watching your back! I’m being dead serious here, Jae-in-ssi. You need to be picky. You know, if only it would not turn out to be weird, I would have agreed to get married to you just so that you won’t fall to the wrong hands. I won’t even mind if that was the case.”

“Yah noona that’s so weird to say!”

“’So weird’ my butt, at least I know how to take care of you, you stupid little bean! I mean it. Next time that someone likes you, consider if they would even pass my approval. Just put that thought on the back of your head and then you’re going to get better people. I promise you.”

Bae Joohyun finally stood up from where she was seated, brushing her long shirt off of crumbs while moving to pick up the empty plate beside Jae-in, but not before moving to give her younger brother a hug. He then responded by placing his head over her narrow waist as she stood beside his sitting figure.

“And one more thing,” she continued while Jae-in hugged her in return. “Make sure that when you give promises to people that they would promise on the same way, okay? You never mentioned anything about Wonyoung’s promise to take care of you. It was only you who promised to do so, Jae-in, so I guess that’s why you two turned up the way you did. Please don’t do that next time. I don’t want anyone breaking your heart. I’ll break their souls if they do.”

Wait, did she really not…?

“Well, you better get some rest while I take care of this plate,” Jae-in’s elder sister said as she finally broke off of the hug from him. “I remembered that I had to send a document for a client as well; it almost flew off of my head because of how occupied I am with your story.”

“I will do that, noona. I’ll just finish some dues.”

“Don’t you ever talk to that Wonyoung again okay?” she said in reply while walking towards the door, pointing a red-nailed index finger towards Jae-in’s direction. “Don’t even imagine that I’m not serious when I said I’m going to kick you off.” And that statement earned a laugh from Jae-in.

“I won’t noona, I promise. Please take care!”

A smile was etched on Jae-in’s face as Joohyun disappeared through his door frame. He eyed Jang Wonyoung’s letter for a moment, the thought of even chucking it to the bin was not even entertained by the slightest. After all, he already moved on from her, and even managed to keep the letter’s message concealed from him for years. He figured there was no real reason to break that streak.

He also knew that Joohyun had an ounce of humour in every statement that she said for him, but there was no stopping all of it from being true. Somehow his misgivings were gone that night with the short conversation; allowing himself to lull back into his and Wonyoung’s story gave a huge light on his current situation with Jeon Soyeon. He mentally thanked that one conversation with Shinwon as well, as it was the one that ignited everything up to that very point.

And then he heard footsteps coming from the hallway outside of his room. There was no other real person whom it could belong to, and so he prepared himself for whatever his older sister has to say as she seemed to be rushing on her way back.

Joohyun’s figure immediately showed up again on the door a couple of seconds after that. The plate was already gone from her hands and he could see a couple of water droplets from the porcelain-like skin of her forearms. Her expression was quite shocked, as if just realizing something on the way back.

“Yah, Jae-in-ssi! What do you mean that Jang Wonyoung was your ‘first in literally everything’?!”

---

Surprisingly, that night’s sleep was one of the best I had so far. I found it ironic that that was even the case even right after the night with Soyeon; even more so after that crap ton of explanation that I had to explain to noona with the conversation. It was one of my busiest days, emotion-wise. Regardless, everything that came after that night was amazing; it shed new light on things and I was able to steady myself for the flight ahead. Being able to voice my deepest feelings for Jeon Soyeon to Shinwon was already a plus, and having to recall things with my ex, Wonyoung, and having finally tell it to someone who really cared… boy, it does not get any better than that. On the case of Soyeon, I’m glad that it was finally out. I would have unintentionally made myself suffer more for stalling unnecessarily because of my pride. I have my mind set on one path: I need to tell her the truth.

I need to let go of Soyeon.

The only question left was how am I supposed to do it?

As a couple of days passed, I was merely just thinking and debating perhaps every possible way I could convey it to her. I need to plan this carefully because I am bound to have a reaction of some form from Soyeon’s side of the spectrum. Probably a slap, her lashing out, her screaming at me, punching me…. whatever; I have to prepare myself for those kinds of things. It would be better for her to hurt me physically in that manner than me inciting a mental dent in the long run. It was, for the collective good. Good news is I got things covered up for the most part.

The part that I really don’t know was the most important as well.

I’m glad that Shinwon actually has my back on this. He’s right; I should not let this become another Wonyoung situation. But then… what exactly would Yoon Jae-in do?

Do I just blatantly tell her the truth and prepare for what’s to come?

Ignore every ounce of overthinking and head on, with a ‘fuck-it’ attitude?

Do I need to consider how it would affect the new friend group with how I’m planning to tell of these to her?

But then again… at the end of the day, they are my friends. If Soyeon would lash out and stay off of the group for a while (and it’s not like it’s surprising if she ever did that), it would be normal. It would be weird if she would not. Something was telling me that if Soyeon would cause something; a rift that would tear us apart, then so be it. I’m sure my real friends would be there for me even if it would cause such a huge scandal between us. They would understand why I’m doing it.

I really need to tell her how I feel because it’s starting to get more complicated as time continues to pass by.

I need to man up and stop fucking overthinking, because that is where the mess would begin to come. Go in there, Yoon Jae-in, tell her and then go out.

This whole self-conditioning thing is weird to do when I’m at the train heading to school. Ditching the bus for a faster, more expensive way of travel was not ideal, especially when the station was so much further from North Line compared to when I would board a bus. However, I figured that that morning stroll was my reward for finally piecing it out for my own. I really feel lighter today more than anything.

Now, I need to tell Soyeon how I feel before the week ends. I would have less time to overthink if I do it that way.

---LATER THAT DAY---

The skies have begun to darken as I would have expected. A huge blanket of nimbus covered each and every space of a once perfectly blue horizon earlier in the morning. Now, I’m glad that I decided to take the longer route this morning as my plans for an afternoon walk would have been ruined with the impending rain. I found it really weird that this resembled that day years ago when Wonyoung broke up with me. It’s just that crazy.

Anyway, I followed the normal schedule of the approaching week ahead with my final 4 PM class like usual, Social Sciences; admittedly one of the few minor engineering subjects I really learned to enjoy as the semester progressed, quite next to Modern Ethics and Philosophy.

A huge flash of light blasted through the room’s windows followed by the loud sound of thunder causing my own professor to take a pause with the lesson. The intensity of the boom was enough to cause a couple of girly squeals to come from the outdoor hallway. It was only a matter of time before the rest of the skies began to turn even darker grey until the huge, almost instant shower of rain was met from the outside. The teacher resumed the discussion, albeit ocassionally distracted by the strong downpour as well as the thundering from outside.

Minutes passed and it was already close to 5 PM when another flash cut through the sky. I could tell that it was closer from the building this time, as the booming thunder followed shortly right after that.

“I think even the skies are telling me to dismiss all of you,” the teacher, Mr Lee, said with a chuckle. “I won’t argue with natural order then. We’re just ten minutes off, so I guess I’d just give those minutes to you. Please prepare your umbrellas because it’s raining hard outside. Thank you for listening; Class dismissed!” he concluded with a curt bow.

“Thank you sir!” the class echoed in unison as we all watched him exit through the front door first before the rest of us. Then, the corridor was immediately flooded by people coming in and out of their respective classrooms. The fact that some had their wet umbrellas with them caused a lot of water to spill down the floor and mix with the dust and dirt, already adding another factor of difficulty with the already cramped space. However, this development was not really new to me as it was always the case especially on this part of NLIU.

Anyway, several minutes later I finally managed to work my way out of the crowded mess and walk through the huge hallway. I still have no idea what else I should do now that it was raining hard outside. My original plan was to stay a bit in Naevis, but again with the rain, I am sure that there would be a lot of people staying back there having the same idea. Heading to Metro station to do some window shopping and kill some time before I head home was the automatic second choice. Obviously it would be a lot more complicated to traverse there by foot at this rate. So, just because of a sudden downpour, all of my plans for this afternoon dissolved into thin air. It is what it is. I certainly cannot do anything about that.

Well, now I’m just stuck at the premises of the University with nothing else to do. Going home was a definite option, but for everyone else that had their class ending on this hour I’m pretty sure they have the same thoughts. Taxis and bus stops would be flooded and I don’t think I want to wedge myself onto that. It takes too much effort for minimal results. How else would you walk around the city if the rain simply won’t let up?

As much as it was weird to admit, I wish that I have class on this time. I’d rather stay behind the school’s rooms and let the time pass normally than get stuck without anything else to do.

With that, I decided to head to the place that I was absolutely sure would be empty save for a couple of people; the very same place that gave me sleep when I was on those terrible mood swings: the University library. It definitely was better than staying anywhere else. Plus, the silence ought to be really soothing with the current mood that I’m having.

Of course, the only thing that was really annoying about it is the long flight of stairs. At this point, I would even call them a plight.

Anyway, after a seemingly long session of walking up the NLIU Library’s aforementioned stairs, I reached the fifth, top-most floor of the already tall building. It was this huge, twin overlooking mezzanines looming over tall book shelves, with long and spacious tables arranged along within the mezzanine’s perimeter. As expected, the rain literally deleted the beautiful scenery that was Seoul from the rest of the views of the inside world, settling the surrounding window landscape with a mere, clean slate of white and grey clouds along with the occasional thunder.

I walked around the reading area, scanned the tables here in there for someone that I potentially know. It was not because I was looking for someone to keep me company, but I did that just so I’ll be able to hide from them. I really am not in such a mood to converse and I just wanted to embrace the quietness of the place. Luckily, it was not even necessary for me to even look around that much given there are not much people who were staying in this place, sadly. I feel like I still could see a couple of the same people that I saw here from before: architecture students busy with their plates, med students doing outlines of their laboratory reports, and some engineering students who just wanted some sleep for the most part. Well, the place is soothing so I think it was just perfect for what they wanted to do.

I continued to scan the place in search for a good spot, which automatically equated to the spot close to the window. I was already making my way there passing by a table with a girl occupied on writing on her notebook. After passing her, I saw a glimpse of the books she had with her and noticed a couple of engineering books that I recognized, stacked amongst piles and piles of other books about chemistry. The spot was already waiting for my arrival when I felt my phone vibrate softly on my pocket.

BZZZZT

With that, I toned down my walking to fish the phone up, eventually going to an immediate stop as I read the chat.

It was from Soyeon.

The flash of her name alone was enough to make my heart jump.

Soyeon: (Just now) Hey, are you free this afternoon by any chance, Jae-in? Our prof posted that he would not come to school because of a mishap, but it just so happened that I’m already here as well and I can’t go home because of the rain. I forgot my umbrella. I was wondering if you’re still at NLIU and maybe we can hang out… it has been a while since we saw each other. I really miss you already. Please reply if you’re free, okay?

That moment that I read her text, my heart immediately skipped a beat.

Things suddenly hit me like a truck as this felt like a very perfect opportunity. Soyeon was free, and so was I.

This might be the perfect night to call things off once and for all. The fact that everything aligned on that manner seemed to make sense. The opportunity was already there.

Should I grab it?

Should I do this now without prior planning in my head?

I promised myself that I would tell her of everything as soon as I could. That was the penultimate conclusion of my conversations with Shinwon and Joohyun-noona. I even told myself that I would do this as soon as I could, preventing any further overthinking that could possibly hinder my already solid-decision. That way, I could just tell her of everything and anything else that would follow would require nothing else from me but endurance to whatever her reaction would be.

You got this Jae-in. The heavens have given their permission; one sliver of time was all I needed.

You need to do this now. Don’t waste the time given to you.

Jae-in: Let’s meet at the cafeteria. I’ll be there in a couple of minutes.

After standing in place for what felt like minutes, I finally gathered myself and gave one last look at the spot I intended to occupy for the time being. There was a part of regret of not being able to sit on such a perfect spot, especially on such a beautiful and cozy rain like this one. However, with the thought of the event that would follow weighed greater on my shoulders. My blood was rushing all over my body, perhaps made worse with the sudden surge of adrenaline. This was it.

I turned a complete 180 from my position while still occupied on my reply to Soyeon. I was about to briskly head back towards the entrance of the mezzanine when…

WHAM

---

The sound of numerous books falling towards the floor was the sound that greeted him as soon as he felt himself bump into someone. It would turn out that his rush to leave the library was met with the girl he passed by previously, eager to replace the borrowed books on their respective shelves. It just so happened that the direction she chose was the same route Jae-in would use to exit the said mezzanine, inevitably having them both to cross paths right into each other.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry,” he said in panic and in complete embarrassment, being the first one to help gather the books for the said girl. All signs of rush was dropped as they were immediately replaced with embarrassment. “I am really sorry; I didn’t see you there.”

“I-it’s fine… I didn’t think that you’d move as well,” the girl answered with a soft voice that was almost a whisper. It was soothing already on the very first impression.

Once done, Yoon Jae-in brought the books back up and stacked them on the nearby table to align them properly for her. True enough, they were the same books he recognized from earlier, only registering the other books then by being focused on Chemistry and Molecular Theory, along with the Engineering Books he knew.

“D-do you need help putting them back?” he asked, pointing towards the stack of books rather shyly. “I-I can help you put them back if you want…. I’m really sorry for that.”\

Why am I so tense?

“N-no… I can manage. Besides, you seemed to be in a hurry. It’s okay. I would not have borrowed them if I didn’t think that I could bring them back on my own… t-thank you for the offer though…”

“Are you sure? I can spare a couple of minutes… I mean, I really feel bad for toppling these all over,” he replied as he lifted the couple of books up to return back to her waiting arms.

“I could not ask so much of you. Thank you for—“

The woman’s voice trailed off as she received the stack, unintentionally getting both hers and Jae-in’s hands in contact from under. The sudden warm sensation of a man’s skin definitely startled her, causing her face to turn towards Yoon Jae-in. There was a short flash that occurred on that very moment. Maybe it was from the lightning, or maybe both of them merely imagined it coming. With her raising her face up, it unintentionally brought her face close to his. That was only the time that Jae-in saw the face of the girl, all in close detail as he could possibly have.

Her beauty was definitely simple, yet seemingly radiated a hint of elegance. She had a plain, small face, V-shaped jawline, heart shaped lips, small nose, and an innocent expression that only helped her already beautiful visage. Despite wearing the standard green jacket of her department, her fair skin tone suited the exclusive aura of elegance she had. However, her face and her smile certainly were kind and warm; it even felt that she was the one apologetic for bumping Jae-in in the first place.

“T-Thank you for picking these up,” she said once again in that soft tone. It was her time to by shy now as it oozed out of every syllable. Jae-in certainly did not think that her already soft voice could even go softer. “Y-you’re in a hurry right?”

Jae-in blushed uncontrollably as his ears flushed red. The girl averted her gaze from his as well.

“Oh, right, right; sorry again. Please study hard,” Jae-in said as he panicked internally once again, finally giving the girl a short bow before crossing her for the exit. He left of embarrassment in attempt to conceal his flaming ears as well as his fast-beating heart; quite eager to descend from the huge tower of a library and finally make his way to the task at hand.

I need to get to Soyeon now. Sheesh, that was so embarrassing.

---

After that rather embarrassing encounter with another student, Jae-in then joined the river of students from the outside and took another route towards the school cafeteria, obviously strategized and carefully planned to prevent him from ever opening his umbrella. He rushed all across the roofed buildings of the campus, mixing with students of different departments just so he can arrive without further stress and using the longer route to shake his tension off. Soon enough, he found his way into the school’s main building and into the right wing, where the wide and spacious cafeteria was located. Due to the lateness of the afternoon as well as the on-going storm on the outside, the place was mostly empty aside from some students eating as well as staff members.

He scanned the surroundings curtly and immediately found the figure of Jeon Soyeon waiting at the far corner with an eager expression on her face along with an empty cup of tteukbokki in front of her.

“Hi Jae-in…!” Soyeon greeted with a wide smile, waving towards his figure as he approached with a heavy heart. As soon as the young man was within her reach, Soyeon moved to press her small frame against his with a sincere and tight hug.

“H-hi Soyeonnie… umm, can we please sit for a bit?” he awkwardly said, returning her hug as well. “I… I want to talk to you about something.”

Soyeon held his hand and pulled him towards the table, taking a seat next to him right after. She then kept her hands tightly clamped with Jae-in’s, seemingly expecting something bright to come from him. He’s already not fond of how enthusiastic she is.

“I’ve never saw you so eager to see me! Is there something wrong or did you just miss me that much, my Jae-in?”

Come on, Jae-in… keep it together. You got this. Calm down and tell her the truth.

“S-Soyeon… I wanted… I actually w-wanted to see you… there’s something that… something that I’ve been thinking for a while now… umm… it’s… it’s about us…”

The young woman’s face lit up the moment that she heard the word ‘us’ escape from Jae-in’s own mouth. However, she seemed to have caught on the exhausted mood and stuttered speech of Jae-in that her face shifted to a look of concern. Every ounce and attempt to even tease Jae-in was swept out of the waters.

“Are you okay Jae-in? You look pale… oh my god, even your hands are cold. Did something happen?”

BOOM

A bright flash followed by a loud thunder was seen from the outside, effectively distracting Soyeon from Jae-in as she moved to see through the windows.

“Gosh, the rain’s really pouring down hard here. This is such a bad timing to not bring an umbrella.”

“Soyeon,” Jae-in began once again as soon as he regained his composure. “I have… I have something to tell you… sorry for interrupting but… this is something that has been bugging me for a long time… I… I’ve wanted to tell this to you…”

Shit, I’m so fucking nervous. This cold weather is definitely not helping out.

Soyeon stared blankly at him and then supplied her with a shy smile as well as two raised eyebrows.

“Is… Is this about what I think it is, Jae-in?”

“This… this is… yes; this is about what happened after Skylight… I think I have a response for what you asked me before. Soyeon… I have an answer already…”

“Is that true? Oh my god… what is it? I’m eager to know what it is!”

“I know that… I know that we’ve sort of been together after that, right? We… we acted so sweet together and… we’ve done a couple of things that normally only dating people would do. Umm… after your confession everything just aligned ourselves and we… we just treated each other as if we’re dating. If anything, only an official label was left for that to work out as it should have… Would you agree that with how the situation went on, the decision seemed to dial down from my end, right? The way that this brought us… it boils down to me making the decision…”

She nodded and spoke: “Of course… I intended it to be that way, Jae-in-ssi… I made it clear to you since then that I was really serious with my feelings for you, to the extent that I am even going way out of line at times just to prove that I really love you… umm… oh my��� I’m getting nervous with where this is going…”

Soyeon rubbed her hands with his. Jae-in in turn, breathed in heavily.

“Soyeon… for the past weeks and months that you’ve told me your feelings, you proved to me very much how serious you were to me. I already felt everything that you needed me to feel… every kiss, every hug, every moment we shared together… I felt that you were really that much into me. There’s no denying that. I’ve never felt so appreciated for the longest time ever and I will forever be grateful and flattered that one Jeon Soyeon even took a liking into me. You were such a talented individual, appreciative and very loving as well, which is why I don’t think that I am even deserving of the attention that you’re giving…

“I’m sorry Soyeon, but I don’t think we should continue this… this thing that’s going between us. I don’t think I can return the same feelings that you’ve been giving me.”

The world might as well have frozen for the couple of them as silence shrouded the succeeding minutes. Jae-in sat in his place thinking of what to follow to that, yet also debating whether to not add another statement to the mix while Soyeon digested what he just said. The young Korean woman’s expression was not grim; it was merely just a blank stare that felt a thousand times scarier than if she would have glared at him. He even thought of repeating the statement in case she did not hear it the first time, and he could never have been more relieved that he did not do that. The tension was so high up between them that it would only be a matter of time before someone would eventually break.

This time, it was Jae-in… and perhaps he never should have spoken up after denying his chance the first time.

“Soyeon… Please don’t get me wrong… I appreciate each and every single thing that you did. I would have loved to stay if that was the case but… I can’t keep up. I can’t just let myself wake up every night to respond to you, to go out with you in the middle of the evening… I have denied a lot of your invitations to drink because… because you know that I just can’t wedge it on my schedule because of a lot of things.

“Can’t you see…? There are a lot of things that we do not agree upon, and a lot of those involve things that I normally do in my everyday life. I don’t think that I can let those things go just yet…  Lately, I feel like I’m not being myself because… because I’m letting you drag me too much into situations… I sorry… just—“

“Is this a joke?” Soyeon said with a straight face; her eyes starting to get glassy. “You’re kidding me, right Jae-in?”

“I’m not… actually I am—“

“I never asked you to do those things in return, Jae-in… I did everything because I wanted to prove my love for you! I did those things because this is who I really am, and I wanted to show you the purest form of me that I could show, why can’t you see that?”

“Hey, it’s not… it’s not that I did not see those… I told you; I felt everything... I felt how serious you were to me, and Hongseok and the others were a testament to everything that happened…”

“Why are you ending us then? If that’s the case then why the fuck are you letting me go?”

“Because… I feel like things are starting to get out of hand. I feel like we’re slowly starting to do things that only normal couples would do… some of which are even too overboard. I would lie if I did not say that I did not like any of those things, but I feel like… I want to save it soon. I’m being too overwhelmed and I want to stop it before it even gets worse… I… I’m not yet ready for any of these…”

“Was… was this because of what happened in the private room? Did you really think that… that we’re about to do it then? Was this because I’m being too close and too stuck with skinship that you’re feeling uncomfortable? Tell me, Jae-in! Tell me what’s wrong with me and I will change everything just to be with you! Tell me what I would do so that you can give this doomed relationship a chance, please!”

“Soyeon please… even if I wanted to, that would be too unfair for your end. I don’t want to give you the wrong ideas; to give you hope that there’s something at the end of this tunnel… I’m not yet ready. I don’t think I’m in the condition to head on a relationship right now; I hope you understand.”

“Then everything that I did for you was all for nothing?”

“Soyeon, please,” he said before reaching out his hands to hold both of hers once again. However, Soyeon already anticipated the action and immediately withdrew them as soon as she felt the contact of skin. “I’m doing this to be fair to you, otherwise—“

“The only thing being unfair h-here is you! I’m all i-in it for you, Yoon Jae-in, why the fuck can’t y-you see that? I thought you said before that you wanted t-this but why are you doing this to me n-now?! Why are you already l-letting us go before we even get a chance to b-be a thing?!” Her voice said, shaking with emotion.

“Soyeon… I’m not yet ready. I… I have a lot of things to prioritize and do. I don’t think, with a good conscience, that you deserve to be treated like this. I don’t want you to hope and wait for something to happen when I can’t promise you anything in the near future. I just want you to be free and not be confined with me… there are a lot of people there. I’m sure there are a lot of guys better than me. I’m sorry Soyeon, but it’s not yet time…”

That was the time that Soyeon finally let her tears trail down her cheek.

“I h-hate you, Yoon J-jae-in,” she snapped, this time glaring at him with a pair of teary eyes trying to keep her anger within.

“I’m sorry Soyeon… I really am. I just can’t do it this time because of my responsibilities and—“

“TO HELL WITH YOU AND YOUR DAMN RESPONSIBILITIES,” Soyeon roared as she finally reached her tipping point. Her angry voice echoed across the small cafeteria and took the attention of the few students and onlookers while she shouted at Jae-in with tears on her eyes. “YOU SHOULD’VE SAID ‘NO’ BACK THEN. YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE RETURNED MY KISSES WHEN YOU HAD THE CHANCE! YOU MADE ME BELIEVE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING AT THE END OF THIS GODDAMN THING JAE-IN! IF YOU DIDN’T LIKE ME THEN YOU SHOULD’VE SAID BEFORE I WASTED ALL MY DAMN TIME ON YOU! I HATE YOU JAE-IN! I HATE YOU!”

In that instant, Soyeon immediately stood up and supplied Jae-in with one deadly glare. As a reflex, Jae-in stood as well and tried to calm her down by attempting to hold her hand, yet it only made her state worse. Soyeon immediately swatted his extended hand with astounding force, slapping it off of her. Then, to his surprise, Jeon Soyeon ran towards the cafeteria door without an ounce of warning, taking her bag with her and exited towards the raging downpour from the outside.

There she was, on the middle of the rain and thunder, she ran without a care in the world even ignoring the constant splash and flow of water on her face and clothes. She braved the wet grounds of the university taking any means necessary to distance her from Jae-in.

Jae-in, on the other hand, immediately fished his bag and umbrella and immediately followed Soyeon to the outside. He chased her against the continouos gush of rain, his umbrella keeping the majority of his face dry while he ran for her amidst the slippery floor. Soon, he finally reached Soyeon’s drenched figure outside of the school’s Medicine Department building.

With the rush of adrenaline on his body, Yoon Jae-in reached for Soyeon’s arm and tugged it to get her attention. It was effective after all; Soyeon finally stopped on her tracks and turned her figure towards him; her face flashing with anger as her hair, clothes, and face were all soaked with rain and possibly even remnants of her tears.

“Soyeon, please,” Jae-in said as he brought the umbrella over the pair of their figures. “Don’t do it like this. Don’t go towards the rain like this. I know that you hate me now, but please, take it. It’s the last thing I can do for you. I’m really sorry…”

Soyeon gently approached Jae-in, and with a swift movement of her arm she smacked the umbrella out of his grasp, leaving the both of them to be engulfed by the heavy rain.

“Did you even have feelings for me, Jae-in?” she asked, every syllable oozing with anger. “Tell it to my face. Tell the truth. Did you even like me even for just a little bit?”

There was a pause, a long and drawn out one as they were both drowned by the noise of the rain around them.

“Did you even love me, Jae-in?”

Jae-in finally looked back at her eyes, through the drops of rain, tears, and the glare on them and met her pupils. He paused for a moment, took in some air, and finally shook his head slowly.

SLAP

“Stay there. Stay there the whole night. Stay there until you die. You deserve worse than that. You’re going to regret this soon, Yoon Jae-in.”

The sting of Soyeon’s slap had only begun to bit in him right after she uttered the words that felt like a curse. The force of Soyeon’s slap was so strong; so filled with hatred and emotion that it forced Jae-in’s head towards his right and eyeing the dead umbrella that lay lopsided on his foot. Slowly, he turned his gaze back up front and he saw the figure of Jeon Soyeon walking on the rain and this time away from him once again. For the first time, he felt his feet numb and unresponsive. He wanted to chase her, but majority of his body declined until Jeon Soyeon finally turned a corner and disappeared into the rain.

Jae-in was left there devastated and dumbstruck, cheek stinging from Soyeon’s solid slap. His eyes merely gazed towards the direction where Soyeon disappeared, with the ghost of her final glaring eyes staring into his soul knowing that he might not get the chance to see her up close ever again.

[scxnriography]

Title: Our Love Story

Featuring : Simon Dominic ( Jung Kiseok) and Bae Joohyun

Chapter : Forewords

Genre : Fluff, Angst, Semi Au Verse, Rated18

23 December 2022

Joohyun

"Let me help you with it."

A simple sentence genuinely meant to be helpful turns out to be a regret within a few minutes later. I shouldn't have been nosy. In the new year, my resolution should be listed as:

1) keep your eyes on the ground, no- just close your eyes when you're walking,

2) don't get involved with your surroundings, and

3) talk less, no- offer less.

Might as well start the new resolution now because there is no word slipping past my lips. All I could do was to stand there, handing over the two insanely heavy bags to the elderly couple's son.. My smile is still intact, my pretentious-not-to-be-shocked-smile that is. I avoided eye contact with him, focusing only on the older lady as she introduced her son and thanking me at the same time. Because I was very kind and helpful, she offered containers of side dishes for me to bring home which I initially vehemently rejected but damn, this family and their smooth tongues. I should know that very well since years ago, I did fall in love with their only son.

Despite the thick blanket of snow covering the streets, my day started out bright and positive. I had a nice hot cup of chocolate and warm freshly baked croissant from the nearby bakery which I ended up staying for more than an hour, before making my way back to my new home. A lovely apartment across the street, that I have spent a long time saving for. Because it was a lovely morning, I smiled more to passerby, excused the little kid who was wailing right in my ears while we were waiting for the traffic light, and rushed to help the elderly couple with their big bags. I didn't count how many they had, I simply reached out to lessen their loads. I didn't mind the weight of these bags either, as we three walked into lobby. Turns out their son was staying in the same building as me, only different level. So I offered to walk them to their son's apartment first just like any kind hearted person would.

Because of the damn lovely morning, I am now standing awkwardly at the the doorstep of my ex boy- no he wasn't that. I realize just then I don't even know what to call him except my past, my favourite past. We did not utter a word, did not even look at each other, both simply allowing his mother to marvel at the kindhearted girl, me, who helped them out while shoving the side dishes in my hands. I am certain he too, was pretending that we both didn't know each other at all. And just like any other mothers who over shared, his just had to fill him in the fact that I was staying at the upper level. An information that he didn't need to know, I guarantee.

And just like any other mothers, she urges her son to walk me to the elevator as though I am quite incapable of locating the elevator myself. Once again I politely reject her kind gesture, and yet again, this family never fail to show me that stubborn runs in their blood. Again I remind myself I am very well aware of that particular fact.

"You don't have to wait for the elevator with me," I suggest immediately when it was just the two of us.

"I know."

It shouldn't surprised me that he did not attempt to leave as soon as he said that but it did. The elevator as though intentionally slow, clearly tormentng the two of us, opens after seemingly took forever. I step in, finally taking a good look at him. He appears thinner than before, but that does not make him any less handsome. "Please convey my thanks to your mother. These," I raise the boxes slightly above my chest, "are really appreciated. But... please know that I won't be returning the boxes. Not personally at least."

"I will. And I know."

I gave him a quick nod as a goodbye and curled my lips into a smile, not saying anything else as I press the button to close the door. I stare at the button I have pressed impulsively just seconds ago where I was determined not to let him find out my actual floor.

Fuck my life. Now I have to do a workout up the stairs.