#bad: getting abducted by an evil entity

[petrichormore]

also I skimmed over it but Araldo having to beam Bad up twice is so funny. do you think it failed the first time because Bad saw it was an unfamiliar number and hung up on him like a phone call.

[afriendlyirin]

Just finished the final season of Hilda. It was... okay, but felt like it lost its sense of direction.

Maybe I'm in the minority, but I was never very interested in questions about Hilda's backstory. We didn't need to know who her family was and why she has blue hair. We didn't need to not know those things, but I don't feel like they added anything significant. For me, the appeal of the series was always in how Hilda interacts with external forces, not her internality.

And unfortunately I think the season really flopped on that one. I was hoping we would get to see how Hilda interacts with genuinely malevolent entities, then nope actually the faeries are good. The whole season felt like it was really confused about what it was trying to say and why. The giants really are hurting people and it is genuinely difficult to coexist with them, but driving them off is still bad because...? Frog-spider eats people, but it doesn't eat humans so it's fine to have it wandering around?

Then the final episode is just whiplash after whiplash -- Hilda has to rescue Anders, then OH WAIT Hilda has to go back to rescue Johanna, then she can't leave but then she can leave but Johanna can't leave but Astrid's going to strike a deal but the deal doesn't work but then it does and then never mind she doesn't have to make a deal at all. Also the faeries are scary and evil and abduct people but actually never mind they're good and were only abducting Hilda's family for good reasons but the island itself is actually evil and it's a stickler for rules and bargains except it's completely opaque what those rules are, sometimes bargains can be renegotiated but sometimes they can't, and it's willing to accept a blood sacrifice just for the sake of it even though it gains no benefit from it?

Like... just... WHAT. I think my head needs time to stop spinning.

(Also, I'm really annoyed that after three seasons of Hilda learning that cutting Johanna out of her decisions always ends badly and Johanna willingly going adventuring with her this entire season Hilda still cuts her out in the finale, even though it's the stupidest possible time to do so because this is going to be a long operation so she's obviously going to find out. Way to regress on all that character development, Hilda.)

And after all that and answering all those questions about Hilda's heritage, it still never answered the question of why the Fairy Isle is dying, even though that seems pretty relevant to, um, everything?! The story didn't seem sure if it even was dying -- the corruption manifests itself to stop Hilda's escape, so that's clearly something the Isle has control over and not a sign of weakness, but then Astrid asserts the Isle is dying. BUT WHY THOUGH. I assumed it had something to do with there being no more faerie abductions, but then Astrid claims it "doesn't need new blood" precisely because it's dying, so the two things are unrelated. I guess van Gale will figure it out, but we never will.

In the end I don't think it did said anything really different, meaningful, or interesting with its magical creatures this season, which is a real shame when it's done that so consistently throughout the rest of the series. It really feels to me like the creators just didn't know where to take the series after Hilda and the Mountain King. I don't dislike the new season enough to wish the series had ended there, but nothing here lives up to it.

[doomerpatrol]

Comic Log: Moon Knight (2014)

This was a trio of short arcs/runs that kicked off really well and then flatlined, never really recovering. Taking a look under the hood (heh).

Warren Ellis's run: A sextet of urban psychedelia in single issues without much interconnection. Ellis introduces some very stylish looks and titles for Moon Knight and adds some interesting concepts that go...totally unelaborated upon (like Moon Knight's consciousness being possessed by a parasitic ancient god). Because it's episodic, the run is definitely carried by Declan Shalvey's beautiful artwork, which often plays with sequence and violence in some really creative ways (like issue #5 which is a genuinely sublime take on the "Oldboy hallway"). There's an interesting throughline of disposability going on in the conflicts that arise, portraying the city as kind of a hostile entity that produces throwaway people, but it doesn't really go anywhere because Ellis leaves the title so quickly. Still, a very enjoyable pulp read. 4/5.

Brian Wood: Immediate downturn. We get a completely different voice for the character as the series pivots to a bland international intrigue/spy thriller about a psychiatrist trying to assassinate a warlord turned general while Moon Knight tries to stop her. This plot is *so* annoying too, pretending to present a genuine moral dilemma and then in its last moments being like "surprise! there actually is no dilemma, the antagonist is unequivocally evil and unjustified!" This run abandons the weirdness and episodic quality that made Ellis's run appealing. It also leans way harder into normal boring cape comic dialogue - rather than the sort of spectral, otherworldly "protector of nighttime travelers" that Moon Knight was in Ellis's arc, now he is pretty much just a less interesting Daredevil again, complete with tedious lectures about how it's bad to kill people because people die when they are killed. Who cares. At least the art is alright. 1/5.

Cullen Bunn: Decent attempt at recovery, but also too little too late. Definitely a more clear continuation of Ellis's ideas around disposability and a return to episodic investigations of weird urban phenomena (like a band of marauding dogs and a cult abducting people using jetpacks), which makes it all the stranger that Wood's arc exists. But it's a lot more centered, explicitly so, on a concept of "faith" and how this relates to the moral ambiguity of the moon god Khonshu, and I just didn't find that very interesting. 2/5.

All in all, the Ellis arc (#1-6) is fun, and the rest isn't really worth it. The next Moon Knight things I plan to read are Jeff Lemire's run, Max Bemis's (lead singer of pop-punk band of my youth Say Anything???), and Jed MacKay's.

[neorukixart]

Did you like Miyuki because she has a Renamon?

That fact was just the last drop of the glass for me to stan her (ง ื▿ ื)ว

But if I’m being honest, I love the fact that my new daughter has “the same” partner as my Digimon Queen so yes, maybe it had to do with that :3c

Look, I barely kept an eye on Survive news that involved the plot and important details because I love to enjoy the experience and it felt great to see everything for the first time uwu but I do remember seeing an scan that had Garurumon and Renamon.

SPOILERS AHEAD!! Because I literally cannot explain my love without addressing the plot. Consider that I've only done the Moral route and the true ending route (that is also the Moral route... I think? ¯\_(��)_/¯)

When I first saw the prologue movie (4 years ago????) I thought “those kids” were ghosts or entities like Gennai but to be honest, didn’t give them much of a thought.

Just beginning the game, I knew Miyuki would be the one I was going to adopt, even when she wasn’t really having an “important” role during the first 5-ish parts, just with their intro was enough, I knew she was a kind and sweet child I mean, she clearly saved Akiharu by pushing him into the portal right when she was being trapped by the Kenzoku fog, but if I’m honest, didn’t payed too much attention to Renamon being there xD and still I found myself looking forward for the moment I would encounter Renamon and Gabumon later in the game.

It was part 8 that made me love Miyuki, but first we had Renamon going rage mode killing a good amount of Dokugumons just to save her (which was pretty badass) and I knew that if they were willing to murder just to save Miyuki, then I must too~

Right when Piemon abducts Miyuki, I was very desperate to go and save her and then well, part 8 came and we could see a “full” Miyuki once again, this time with the chance of interaction with Takuma and watching her true sweet and kind self. I can’t even count the amount of times I wanted to cross the screen whenever she begins to realize that the time she spent in the “isekai” wasn’t mere hours, but 50 years but what broke me the most, is exactly when Takuma says that they are in 2020 and she cries (I cried too), I just couldn’t stop imagining what was going on with her mind; friends and family are likely gone (except Akiharu of course xD), her house might not even be there anymore and if it is, there must be other persons living there, the landscape and people being too different, just imagine the shock of a little 11-ish girl.

But what I loved the most about Miyuki, was her determination to go back right to the evil being that wanted her to be a sacrifice and not just to save her friends but the world, she goes big! And when you choose the bad end, she goes back anyway! And right at the very end of the True ending route, she does not wishes to defeat the master/Haruchika, but to save them despite all the awful things she and Renamon had to endure.

For once, I worry how Renamon was able to keep her alive for 50 years like, they got enough food? There was food for our protragonists worth half a year, right? Did Renamon feed Miyuki with that food or went to search for more? Obviously it seems that Miyuki was barely able to do something for herself aside walking and mildly comunicate so, Renamon bathe and dress her this whole time? Honestly, this devotion is something I loved in this Renamon and I can’t just stop crying ;w;

What also broke me, was in the Moral route when the Kenzoku fuses with Miyuki (Master-controlled) and Renamon sacrifices themselves to protect Akiharu (and you get Omegamon yay) because I totally thought there was no way for Renamon to go back geing a digitama (since I thought this was also a permadeath) so I cried, thinking that Miyuki would never see Renamon again but jokes on me because after the fight, thanks to Miyuki’s tears “fusing” with Renamon’s data, a digitama is made and I couldn’t stop screaming “give me back the tears I cried for you!!” and I loved how Miyuki was thinking on a life in the human world with Renamon. Plus the moment she realizes she was never alone and that it was Renamon who was always beside her, that melted my heart.

Anyway, the reason I love Miyuki is about that, but also I bet it’s because I always fall for the one chara that suffers and somehow is the “voice of god” just like how Hikari and Himekawa-san were possesed by Homeostasis which, speaking of them, and knowing that Survive is an homenage to Adventure, I think Miyuki and Renamon resemble Hikari and Tailmon so yeah, I guarantee you that this also helped into me falling in love with them uwu

[lostinthosebrowneyes]

Pedro Character HCs | Do they believe in ghosts?

Din Djarin

Agnostic would be the best word for Din. He’s about 50/50 skepticism and “well this might as well happen”. His son is a wizard, he’s not about to discount anything. That said, as much as he’d like to see his parents again, he’s not too convinced about the idea of ghosts... At least, not until Luke ever introduces him to his dad and mentors, then Din might start reevaluating some things.

BONUS (Aliens): His son is a little green man from outer space, so... yeah. I think we can safely say he believes in aliens.

Ezra

Ezra is one of those people who will play up believing in ghosts for the entertainment factor but he is a complete skeptic in reality. He tells a great ghost story, sometimes he even manages to fool himself with the noises he’s heard on alien planets, but at the end of the day the dead are just meat. He’d know if it were otherwise; he has accumulated multiple reasons to be haunted over the years.

BONUS (Aliens): Aliens as in a super-intelligent race that abducts and experiments on people, whose existence has never been proven? No. Aliens as in local fauna on alien planets? Sure, he bears witness to those nettlesome little critters all the time.

Frankie Morales

Frankie has seen far too much to be scared of the noncorporeal. He had a healthy sense of fear of the unknown as a kid but after he came back from combat, it all changed. Just because he’s a skeptic doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy the thrill. Strangely, supernatural horror almost became... comforting? Nostalgic? Like he missed when the worst thing he saw was bad SFX and somebody floating on strings. It’s not a real danger and that makes it a “safe” scare, like a roller coaster or some other adrenaline high. He loves haunted houses, especially if he goes with Benny who is secretly a believer in the supernatural ever since a young Will fooled him into thinking their attic was haunted.

BONUS (Aliens, Cryptids): I think Frankie is less committal about his feelings on aliens and cryptids. Aliens in the “it’s a big universe, who knows” kind of way, when he’s out camping and gazing at the vastness of the stars above him. Cryptids in the “look, most of it is guys in suits but my cousin’s best friend’s dog was supposedly eaten by a chupacabra” kind of way.

Javier Peña

Javier will never admit to believing in the supernatural. He has seen a lot of bodies and he’s never been haunted -- not supernaturally, anyway. He has superstitious family members so he won’t speak ill of ghosts, but it’s not his personal belief. He’s witnessed a lot of pain and death and he understands the need for the coping mechanism, but that’s all it is. At least, that’s his story and he’s sticking to it.

BONUS (Demons): The thing is, Javi has seen a lot of things over his career. He has seen evil in the hearts of men too many times to deny the concept of it. Javier will tell you to your face that he doesn’t believe in demons, but that doesn’t mean he’s going anywhere near that famous site of a demonic possession. It’s not because he’s scared, it’s because it’s a waste of time. And it’s late. And he has better things to do. Like you. Let’s get home. (Get in the fucking car and let’s gooooo.)

Marcus Moreno

Marcus Moreno isn’t a skeptic, he just doesn’t believe in ghosts. He and Missy would have heard something by now.

BONUS (Everything else): I wouldn’t be entirely surprised if Marcus has fought a demon. If not, he still believes in them. He also believes in mermaids, aliens (hello!), extra-dimensional entities and Bigfoot. Marcus will believe anything until proven false, including but not limited to The Loch Ness Monster. You say they’ve checked the loch top to bottom with cameras and found nothing? Maybe Nessie just can’t be captured by cameras. Marcus is friends with someone named Sharkboy. There are no limits.

Marcus Pike

As I said here, Marcus Pike believes in ghosts. Marcus had ~an experience~ in his college days after he and some friends spent the night in a haunted house on a dare. Ever since he has been convinced there is some form of life after death, even if he doesn’t subscribe to a specific theory of how it all works. He’s not particularly vocal about it, but if you try to make fun of people who believe in ghosts be prepared for him to make the case, “Well you know just because science hasn’t proven it yet-”. In general he’s more into the idea of gentle hauntings than your malevolent poltergeist situation. Ghosts who hold on after death to comfort their loved ones are the kinds of ghost stories that he’s really into.

BONUS (Aliens): As for other supernatural beings, cryptids are all hoaxes and he doesn’t buy the idea of demonic possession. But like Frankie, he thinks it’s not impossible to imagine among all of those stars there might be other worlds with sentient life. Yeah, Marcus believes in aliens, too.

Maxwell Lord

Maxwell is like Marcus Moreno in that he’ll believe almost anything, but like Javier in that he will never admit it. He is incredibly easy to scare but after you get him he will refuse to acknowledge that it happened. If Alistair says he saw a ghost in his closet, Maxwell will not be going to check the closet and show his son everything is fine. He doesn’t want to see a ghost! Alistair can just sleep in his room tonight and they’ll sort it out in the morning. Of course he’ll be telling Alistair how silly he’s being the entire time because ghosts aren’t real obviously! (What was that sound???)

BONUS (Everything Else): Demons, aliens, that’s just another Monday in the DCEU. Of course he believes in those. Magic and gods? Proven fact. Curses? He always keeps a good luck charm on him rather than tempt fate. Cryptids? Well, just because some of those photos have been debunked doesn’t mean they don’t exist. Maybe he should ask his acquaintances the daughter of Zeus and a literal cat lady.

[willel]

So, I've been thinking

Slowly but surely my hope/interest in the next season is increasing. I think it's for one big reason

The US government potentially being the baddies again.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVE season 2 and I actually appreciate Dr. Owens. He really was there to clean up a mess, mind his own business, and help out the Byers a little.

I think Owens really believed in his mission, one of the good guys among a sea of bad ones.

But I prefer the US government being one of the antagonist and not always a helping hand, you know? The Russian government just isn't.... spooky enough. It's almost like you'd expect a foreign power to be trying to do bad stuff right? Not just the Russian government in this fictional universe, but any government. Spy movies are popular for a reason.

But I dunno. It feels so much more... right when it's the US government sneaking around in black suits, abducting people or trying to silence people whether legally or illegally.

I really want to see what they're trying to do this season. Even if it isn't the full US government and it's just an organization out to fulfill the same purpose as Hawkins lab once did, that's what I'm really looking forward to.

Maybe it's not just that.

Maybe I like the idea of any human entity, not just supernatural ones, trying to corner our protagonist?

As evil as the Mind Flayer is, he's only one half of the antagonist, know what I mean?

In season 3, the Russians didn't give a shit about our protagonist, specifically El. They were just doing weird experiments for reasons we weren't even told. They're basically just faceless bad guys. It's like we pretty much know the Russians are bound to fail trying to control the Upside Down, they're gonna get wiped out just like the US government. For what other purpose would they open it? It's an unanswered question.

At least with the US government, we know the Upside Down stuff was an an accident of sorts and their true purpose was making weapons and spying devices out of children.

Random thoughts.

[ziracona]

what are your thoughts on deathslinger? game wise or character wise, just in general lol lately i've been really loving wraith and deathslinger as characters and now i've been getting excited whenever i end up on one of their maps or i go against them. (playing deathslinger is gonna take... a LOT of work since im bad at aiming omg lkjskjlds)

Character wise, Deathslinger is one I really appreciate. Almost all killers in DbD fit into 3 categories—manipulated victim (Rin, Philip, Lisa, Sally), feral & no real grasp of normal human laws/customs (Max, Anna, Michael), and serial killer for fun (Danny, Kenneth, Amanda, Freddy). And I really enjoy al three of those categories for the characters, don’t get me wrong, but it’s always especially interesting when we get a killer who is none of the above, and it doesn’t happen much. I like that Caleb was a shitty person, but like, in a totally normal way?

Like, was he bad? Absolutely. Do I kinda get why he went ‘I am 2 seconds from losing it’ & then lost it from that age on at people who kept discriminating against him and betraying and using him & stealing his shit? Yeah. I don’t /condone/ it, or at least, the violence inflicted on like the petty criminals he caught & inmates he gave his warden torture devices to use on, not at all, but like. I appreciate instead of being just a serial killer who somehow had fun killing horribly, Caleb is just some guy who is really mad people ruined his life & wants revenge. Like, I don’t condone the behavior, but like, I get it. That’s a thoroughly understandable motive, and like, a normal one. Having been bad but not like, evil and villainous gleefully to his core or smth wild, I feel like it puts Caleb in a very interesting place in the realm. He’d hate the Entity for sure, since it canonically tricks and lies to and manipulated him to get him to hunt survivors (which I have to assume he will figure out /eventually/ is going on. Entity really ain’t /that/ smart), and since he has never hurt people who didn’t wrong him for fun, only to further his personal goals, I expect he would greatly dislike working for the Entity.

I don’t know that he’s gonna be the most sympathetic human ever to the survivors, or like, even have to be tortured before he goes back to killing once he does find out, but him not wanting to be there or be killing them period & actively hating the Entity for doing this to him, paired with his kind of average human bad dude background, is extremely unique. I feel like it leaves a lot of storytelling potential. I mean, you’ve got a person willing to do really bad stuff and a history of doing it, who simultaneously completely understands what he has done and why and society’s rules & didn’t do any of it on accident or something, but also hasn’t really done any of that because he just wanted to, or gets pleasure from it, or is someone who runs around actively dehumanizing everyone else & thinking he’s above them & they’re subhuman like the serial killers do—I mean, Caleb had normal human relationships—he had loyal friends, all right up to his abduction. So he’s not a loner either. That kind of whole ‘not a good dude at all & done some real bad stuff, but also still kind of a normal person’ makeup? It makes him a very interesting character, especially with Zarina having knowledge of/a connection to him. I think he and The Legion are the only two killers who are kind of in a weird fourth category like that (though some kind of arguments could be made for at least which category Kazan belongs in), and that’s made those two (well, five I guess, haha) extremely interesting characters to write. I like Caleb—I really enjoy him just being kinda gd normal. Average joe shitty, not serial killer. Whole lot of potential directions for a character like that to head in.

As far as in-game goes, I haven’t played as him because I haven’t bought any irl money stuff from DbD in /quite/ a while, so I got no opinion on playing as. He’s pretty fun to go against, though! I think he’s balanced well and most of my experiences w people who play Deathslinger have been nice, so he doesn’t fill me with “ah shit here we go again” like PS4 ghostfaces do >.> lol—[though one time I went against a dude who messaged us all to ask to farm and was super friendly & then the second gates were up, downed everyone he could bc he’d had us following him around, and he was running only endgame perks (noed, fire up, blood warden, etc) & apparently that’s just how he plays every single match—pretend to be friendly for 2 free hooks, then kill everyone in endgame when their guard is down. I made it out but I was swf w a friend I couldn’t save & I’m still mad about someone doing that for fun.] Other than that one dude though, he’s routinely been pretty fun to go against! And I’ve heard he is fun to play as. So I like him game-wise too. ^u^

[bigskydreaming]

@elfysparkles88​

#listen it's a universal problem#I love my mans Scott#everyone is always bagging on him WHY#Scott Summers#X-Men

Its because Scott Summers is inevitably compared and contrasted with those around him, and he has the great misfortune of running in the same circles as an all-star line up of like....just the absolutely most Ridiculous People to Ever Ridick.

We’re talking about a guy whose dad was abducted by aliens and from there went on to decide, welp, guess I gotta become a space pirate now, jaunty earring and all, no, shhh, shh, no, there are no alternatives, I gotta, no, I said no - SHUT IT, I SAID I GOTTA BE A SPACE PIRATE NOW ITS THE ONLY WAY. Oh btw, meet my fianceé. She’s an alien mercenary who is a little like a skunk but don’t call her that to her face or she’ll shoot you in yours. How’s that for swoonworthy, am I right, son?

We’re talking about a guy whose own son was a literal sixty year old Grumpy Old Man overburdened with world-weariness, wildly unnecessary shoulderpads and arthritic joints when Scott was barely hitting his third decade. With said son now randomly being a moody sixteen year old again, with a pet sentient sword he talks lovingly to, because apparently Nathan Summer’s take on teenage rebellion was to act out by being all LOL Fuck Time Travel Paradoxes and then rebelliously zooming around the space/time continuum while blasting a soundtrack of MCR probably, until he finally got a bead on his older self and shot himself in the face while being like “its not that I’m angry with you, I’m just disappointed” and look this is the part where your eyes are gonna wanna just glaze over so your brain can have a break, shhh, shh, don’t ask questions, just let it be, it happened, its a thing.

We’re talking about a guy whose brother rode a merry-go-round of “Am I a good guy this week or am I a bad guy because Reasons or sometimes Brainwashing or sometimes I Don’t Even Fucking Know, Look Don’t @ Me Bro, I Just Fucking Work Here, I’m Not In The Loop” for most of his twenties until dying in a fiery explosion only to inexplicably return years later as a coma patient who finally woke up one day and said “Whoa, just got back from tripping around the multiverse and boy do I have stories cuz apparently I’m the Nexus of All Realities, so hah, SUCK IT, big brother, and yes that is TOO a thing, shut up, LET ME HAVE THIS. Oh and also btw don’t spend a lot on your wedding gift for me and Lorna because I’m gonna leave her at the altar once I realize that I’m actually more in love with the random nurse lady who changed my bed pans while I was in a coma having a romantic rendezvouz with her in Paris in my brain courtesy of her psychic eight-year old kid trying to play matchmaker for her cuz like, she doesn’t date much apparently but its whatever, this is FINE, I have no objections. Ugh why are you looking at me like that Scott, no, I don’t need to “talk” with someone about everything I’ve ‘been through,’ ugh I’m HAPPY you asshole, god, why don’t you ever want me to just be HAPPY ugh you just have to control EVERYTHING with your over-bearing BS like “I am concerned your decision-making processes might be affected by all the people tampering with your decision-making processes over the years” like umm DID I ASK? No? I didn’t think so? YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD, SCOTT, UGH THAT DOES IT, IM RUNNING AWAY TO BE A SUPERVILLAIN AGAIN AND THIS TIME ITS TOTALLY YOUR FAULT, YOU’LL BE SORRY WHEN I CRY HAVOK AND LET LOOSE THE DOGS OF WAR THIS TIME FOR SURE, AND OMG FOR THE LAST TIME I KNOOOOOOW THAT’S NOT HOW ITS SPELLED, ITS ABOUT THE AESTHETIC SCOTT, ITS CALLED HAVING A SENSE OF STYLE, UGH, LET ME LIIIIIIIIIIIVE.”

We’re talking about a guy whose other little brother randomly showed up and started killing people one day being like “hahaha surprise, bet you all forgot about me, PS, I’m REALLY FUCKING MAD AT YOU ALL FOR FORGETTING ABOUT ME” because the world’s most powerful telepath made everyone forget about him and the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day they all had once and this is fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiine, this is normal. As is the way his newly discovered slash remembered slash resurrected slash recently returned from spending the last decade fucking around as a disembodied energy ghost on a rock up in Earth’s orbit little brother then decided the Earth just wasn’t big enough for the both of them, the both of them in this case meaning both him, singular, and his Angst, as a wholly separate and towering entity in its own right. So instead he fucked off to space and decided to conquer a vast alien empire and spend the next several years being their god-emperor or whatever until he got bored with that. And also he kinda sorta killed their dad for a bit but whatever, its fine, he got better, and then he also kinda sorta died for a bit himself but whatever, its fine, he got better, and there was that whole interstellar war between himself and the Inhumans but whatever that wasn’t even his FAULT, Scott, THEY STARTED IT, god, do you ever stop JUDGING ME AND MY LIFE CHOICES and PS I’m still mad at you for killing Xavier, you fucking asshole, not because you did it but because like, you KNOW I wanted to do it, I had a whole fucking villain monologue moment about it and everything, you were literally there, UGH WHY WON’T YOU LET ME HAVE NICE THINGS?!?! YOU ARE THE ENEMY OF FUN AND JOY AND HEY MAYBE YOU WERE THE REAL VILLAIN ALL ALONG, DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT? HUH? MR. I’M THE BOSS, WAIT WHO’S THE BOSS? OH YEAH STILL ME, SCOTT, I’M THE BOSS, YOU GOTTA STOP BEING A SPACE EMPEROR GABE BECAUSE YOU CAN’T BE THE BOSS, ONLY I AM ALLOWED TO BE THE BOSS BECAUSE I’M THE BOSS AND I SAID SO AND YOU GOTTA DO WHAT I SAY OR I’LL TELL DAD.” 

And that’s not even getting into how we’re also talking about a guy who basically ended up divorcing his first wife and suing for sole custody on the grounds of “Well, your Honor, she tried to sacrifice our son on a literal demonic altar in order to summon Hell to Earth to destroy everything just to get back at me after I left her. Yes, your Honor, I understand that is in fact Asshole Behavior, but there were extenuating circumtances, you see, the woman I left her for was my first love before her who I thought was dead. And also, she was literally my wife before my wife was. No, I don’t mean I was married before Maddie, I mean Jean was kinda pretty much already Maddie before Maddie was Maddie. Its this whole clone thing. Look, I’m just saying it was a complicated situation and I know I have my part to play in it, but I still stand by my conviction that trying to sell out our entire planet and species to the legions of Hell while using the innocent blood of our ten month old as the Golden Ticket to the Chocolate Factory was still a little over the top and not really the right way to handle it either. Also, I contend that I can provide a better home environment at the moment than someone who is insisting on being addressed as The Goblin Queen because what even is that, honestly, Your Honor, and also, she also brainwashed my brother into trying to kill me on her behalf, which to be fair does happen about every other month anyway, but still, like. Dick move, you know?”

And we’re also talking about a guy whose second wife who was kinda sorta his first wife but only in that It Ain’t Bigamy If Its A Clone Thing way....like, I mean. Its kinda hard NOT to come across as the bland one in the relationship when your second wife occasionally moonlights as the AirBnb of choice for a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction who is pretty infamous for the ragers she hosts every time she pops into town for a visit, all smiles and (literal) sunbeams (of scorching lethality) and “Lol hey hot stuff, remember me?” As if someone who ate an alien civilization’s sun the last time she hit a Mood is like....really in danger of ever being “New phone, who dis?”ed. But that is neither here nor there, much like the sentients of Alpha Centauri Bumfuckville after she went all Goodnight Sun, Goodnight Moon, Goodnight Solar System on their corner of the galactic neighborhood, because.....tbh I don’t think she ever actually said “why” there. Its one of those things where if you don’t already KNOW why a cosmic parakeet goddess of rebirth and fiery destruction has decided its nighty-night time for this particular zipcode.....like.....that’s not really something you just ASK, y’know? Its....tacky, probably. Also, low on the self-preservation instincts, probably.

Plus we’re talking about a guy whose second marriage to Yet Another Woman It Probably Should Have Registered As A Bad Idea To PIss Off Like This ended in like....so, okay, this was a bit more His Bad than even Round One was, courtesy of a “Groundbreaking. Revolutionary. Show-stopping” reinterpretation of what was up until this point te much more ambiguous and metaphorically named “Mental Affair” concept. Though it must be said, Scotty always has skewed a bit more towards the literal minded in his personal approach to things, so, y’know. That tracks. But regardless, the pattern remains consistent here, as once again, its not always easy to register on peoples’ radar as anything other than the Plus One when your newest paramour prides herself on being both the entire planning committee AND star attraction of Victoria’s Secret (assuming that said Secret is Secret Aims at World Domination) Presents: A Renaissance Faire. But in an evil and also kinky way. Except now with sixty percent less evil on account of how Emma’s reformed these days, but not a hundred percent less evil because she’s not like, REFORMED reformed, cuz that would be boring, eww, could you imagine, no, you couldn’t, because she won’t let you and she can do that, she’s that good at telepathy and that bad at boundaries. Still the same amount of kinky as before though, but like. That’s just about Strong Branding. After all, at the end of the day Emma Frost is above all else, a good businesswoman.

But yes, she is also a big fan of the Aesthetic, with that aesthetic being Her Whims On Steroids because like they say, go big or go home, and Emma Frost does not believe in going home when she can simply acquire your home instead. Hate the game, not the player. She didn’t make the rules, she just came to win. Point being, its hard to follow up an act like Jean-Who-Is-Sometimes-Phoenix-And-Sometimes-Dark-Phoenix-And-Oh-Hell-She-Cant-Even-Keep-Track-So-How-Could-Anyone-Else-Really, but say what you will about Emma’s wardrobe, she’s more concerned with clothing herself in unapologetic take no prisoners ambition, and as such, her being the follow-up to Scott’s epic romance with his childhood sweetheart turned literal cosmic embodiment of fire and passion, like.....this was never a big checkmark in the con side of a pro and con list for Emma. It was more like oh, yes, hello there, Challenge Absolutely Fucking Accepted.

Which, y’know, all the points to House Frost for showing spine and boy howdy, that’s a spine alright.....but at the same time, going head to head with someone who is classified as a galactic threat when people are deliberately low-balling her, like, for no other reason than you’re bored and your manicure appointment isn’t for another couple hours.....like that’s the kind of thing where it has to be pointed out that there were possibly alternative options worth considering somewhere in between ‘having no spine’ and ‘spiting cosmic entity who can kill you with her brain by stealing her man and saying come at me bro because like....my spine, let me show you it.”

But again, just to reiterate the premise here.....our thesis here today is that Scott Summers Gets a Bad Rap For Being Bland or Boring or Not Standing Out, But In Reality The Issue Is Just That All The People He Knows Are Truly Ridiculous People.

In other words, Scott Summers is no more the Everyman of the X-Men than any of his Truly Ridiculous Friends and Family.

Because an actual everyman would have bounced out of that madhouse way the fuck back in Chapter One: In Which Things Just Got Ridiculous.

Cut to Scott Summers, in contrast: *looks around, purses lips, weighs options* Nah. This is fine.

See also:

His daughter, who didn’t so much arrive after the traditional nine months of waiting and preparing for a bundle of bouncing baby joy but instead just like...plopped back into the past as a full grown woman hailing from a dystopian future she was hellbent on preventing by any means necessary, even if that means had Scott frantically shouting RACHEL NO as she screamed RACHEL YES and sprinted straight at someone like Selene (a villain who has survived 17,000 years of pissing people off and making enemies of actual, literal gods) while thinking “oh yeah, I got this.”

(To be fair, she probably DID have it, or would have, if Logan hadn’t chosen that moment of all moments to have his once-centennial contemplation of “Wait, what if....murder is...NOT good?” Never underestimate the daughter of a cosmic goddess.)

Or see also also:

Scott’s original classmates, including Doctor Hank “I’m not an over-archiever, I’m just stress-eating because its lunchtime and I’ve only revolutionized two whole fields of scientific study so far today,” McCoy, Warren “Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful, hate me because I’m a billionaire, wait no, I’m just kidding don’t hate me at all hahaha I’m too sexy” Worthington III, and Bobby “I may look cute and unassuming and like my only priority in life is video games but sike, I too am a potentially cosmic level immortal being of nigh-unlimited power or at least I will be whenever I get around to tapping that potential like I’m currently tapping xy up down A + BBA like a boss, now shhh, don’t interrupt me while I’m kicking ass at Mario Kart I said I’ll GET TO THAT LATER, ugh, JEEZ, my priorities are FINE, Scott, like get off my back already, you’re not even my real dad” Drake.

In conclusion:

Scott Summers is valid, and there may be legions drinking his Hatorade, but make no mistake, its not that he’s Less Than, its that every single person in his social circle is just that damn Extra.

[the-lady-bryan]

old sailor moon fic idea i had

so i had this idea ages back and i can’t find my notes from it, but it was this sailor moon fanfic wherein it’s after the Stars arc and Usagi and Mamoru have gone and gotten married at last, and they’re away on their honeymoon to America (since Mamoru was originally on his way to Harvard when he was abducted?/Killed? it’s been a while since i’ve read the manga) and basically they’re out of the country and unable to come back for some time.

And the world has been peaceful and stuff, to the point that the senshi have forgotten that sometime soon some big event is going to happen that’s going to cause earth to be frozen until the 30th century, and then Usagi will become Neo-Queen Serenity and establish Neo-Crystal Tokyo. Like, this has to happen, but because of there being no need for the sailor senshi for quite a long time now, they just kind of.... had it slip their minds that something terrible is going ot be happening soon.

anyway, so usagi’s around 20-21 at this time, and she becomes Neo-Queen Serenity at age 22 (according to the manga, i think). So that’s the situation up to the point of when i have the AU set.

So, while Usagi and Mamoru are away on their honeymoon, a mysterious enemy begins appearing and leaving withered husks of people in their wake. or places where they’ve appeared or attacked look like they’ve become ancient ruins and stuff like that. by the time the sailor senshi arrive to deal with the situation though, every time, there’s other people there and they’ve just defeated the bad guys and are about to leave.

well one day, the hikawa shrine is attacked directly and Rei transforms to fight the monster before the mysterious heroes arrive. and while she’s strong, the enemy is stronger. when the mystery heroes get there, she gets a good look at them and sees that they wear armor rather than a traditional sailor senshi uniform. but some of their attacks are very similar to ones she and the senshi use, even if the names of the attacks are different. mind you, there’s only like, 3 or 4 of these heroes at the time. when the fight’s over she’s like “who are you people? are you here to help us?” and one in gold armor is like “you could say that.” and then they leave.

anyway, so the plan for the story was for these heroes to end up joining the sailor senshi to fight off this new evil and over the course of the story, which was going to be chaptered and rather long, the senshi learning that these heroes are the Knights of the Golden Millennium Solar Kingdom, which is from a parallel universe, and their universe was destroyed by an evil entity called Entropy, which was that universe’s version of Chaos. And this other universe is genderswapped, save for the Knight from Uranus, who’s non-binary (AMAB). And it’s not a weird time thing that’s happening to the places where these attacks happen, it’s pieces of their world manifesting in the sailor senshi’s universe. A universe where Earth is a ruinous wasteland because the evil sorcerer King Beryllium managed to win the war against the Golden Millenium and kill Queen Serenity, who was not residing on Earth’s moon at the time, but on the planet Apollo, which was situated between Mars and Jupiter. The knights had been forced to take refuge in a neighboring star system as Beryllium took over their entire solar system for his master, Entropy.

Anyway, so eventually the two teams will fully team up, the senshi will get a power boost (but not new forms), and basically have to hold the fort until Usagi and Mamoru get back. The couple end up getting back to Japan during a lull in the fighting period and get caught up on what’s been happening.

I forget what happened between this point and the big battle against the baddie, but essentially it was a situation where the knights end up sacrificing their lives to help Usagi freeze the world to stop Entropy from spreading, and Prince Apollo, the genderswapped Usagi, uses his golden crystal (again, the other universe version of the Silver Crystal), and temporarily fuses it with the silver crystal to trap Entropy and send it where it can never harm anyone again... only, that doesn’t exactly go to plan - as it ends up being sent to the Cauldron (the same galaxy cauldron from the Stars arc), where it will end up ultimately fusing with Chaos leading to a more powerful enemy waaaaay in the future for Sailor Cosmos to fight.

Prince Apollo dies, with his final wish being that Usagi keep his crystal and that one day, if the universe is ever in danger from Entropy again, she is to take his powers and use them herself to protect life.

eons later, when all is lost, this will ultimately lead Neo-Queen Serenity to combine the Silver Crystal with Apollo’s golden one, giving her the ultimate form of Sailor Cosmos, elevating her power to that of godhood so that she can fight Chaos, who is now the combined powers of Chaos and Entropy.

Cosmos will flee at some point into the past to help Eternal Sailor Moon - the Stars arc - and when she returns, the fires of her hope re-lit, she knows what she must do. because she’s already done it once before. she fights Chaos, and manages to lure it back into the cauldron and this time she goes with it, and tells the guardian fairy that yes, she wishes to start again.

And so, in the cauldron, the powers of sailor cosmos and of chaos are dissolved, broken down into their most basic components. first chaos is separated from entropy. then each separated from their star seeds. then the seeds sent out. their essences scattered once again into the void to eventually coallesce into existence again. and sailor cosmos’s power is broken down as well. the silver and golden crystals separated again. the silver crystal’s power broken down further into smaller chunks - star seeds - and sent out to a fledgling solar system. the golden crystal is broken down into smaller chunks... but rather than star seeds, these are heart sparks - which is what they were called in the parallel universe - which rather than go into a person, they go into the cores of the planets and planetoids of that same fledgling solar system that the silver crystal star seeds went to. one star seed goes to what will become Earth’s moon while one spark bypasses it and the world forming between what would become mars and jupiter, and goes directly into the heart of the star in the center of the new solar system, Sol.

And it’s revealed at the end by the fairy that this is a never-ending cycle. sure, the little things change constantly with each iteration, but the key points of each “cycle” remains the same. chaos and entropy will rise up, and to protect all life, a king and a queen will rise up as well and use their combined power to cleave the universe in two, leading to two parallel universes. in one entropy, in another chaos. and sometimes it swaps - the star seeds will fight entropy and the heart sparks will fight chaos. but eventually one will fall and rejoin the other. Sometimes there’s Neo-Queen Serenity, sometimes there’s Neo-King Apollo. Sometimes there’s Sailor Cosmos at the end of all things. Sometimes it’s the Cosmic Knight. But always, it ends and then begins again. Their faces may change, but their souls, their star seeds, their heart sparks remain the same, as does their mission - to protect all life in whatever form it may take, from the darkness until it’s time to start over.

SIDE NOTE - the senshi’s names are always their planets, Sailor Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, etc. The knights are always called things like “Sir Ares, Sir Hermes, Sir Zeus” etc with that world’s version of Mamoru being “Lady Gaia”. And that world’s version of Usagi and Mamoru (Apollo and Gaia) also have a tragic love story, with Princess Gaia running away from Earth to join Prince Apollo against the wishes of her father who is brainwashed by the wicked King Beryllium with the intent of making Princess Gaia marry him.

[syrenslure]

Eliade’s Fan Fiction Prompts cont. 2/2

Pain (with or without pleasure/endorphins)

Pampering (spoiling someone rotten with gifts or money; physical pampering such as massage and grooming; giving someone a novel or unexpected degree of emotional or sexual care; catering to someone's every whim, e.g., someone who is in the hospital; harems as settings for pampering)

Paraphilias not listed elsewhere

Patience (e.g., showing patience toward a character who is brain-damaged or who is struggling bitterly with being recently crippled; or to a character prone to irrational fear or outbursts; patience with children; see also Gentleness)

Penance or reform (bad boy turns good; evil seeks to change; performing acts of atonement or restitution; self-mortification; martyrdom; selflessness; apologies or apology sex)

Physical imperfections (scars or burns; acne pits; heaviness; outsized features such as ears or nose; jolie-laide/ugly-beautiful characters)

Physical responses (face or ears burning; little hairs lifting on the scalp or neck; gut tightening; pulse quickening or missing a beat; lashes fluttering or lids growing heavy; mouth coming open; dick or pussy throbbing)

Pillow biting

Playing hard to get

Ponies (human ponies)

Pornography (magazines and videos; character was previously a porn star or fluffer)

Possession (by alien entity, spirits, or another person)

Possessiveness or jealousy

Power issues (inequities in beauty, rank, or class; power games; BDSM; power reversals; sheikhs, sultans, princes, and other royal figures; teacher/student pairings; magical powers; abuse of power; blackmail; romantic slavery; liege/lord pairings; issues of respect; sexual scenarios such as a dominant character giving his partner to others to use, or a character kneeling beneath a desk and blowing someone who's on the phone)

Power issues, sociopolitical (colonialism; alien invasion or rule; institutionalized slavery; totalitarian states and rebellion; powerful secret societies, e.g., the Illuminati or Watcher-style organizations)

Powers of attraction (characters such as sirens and Veelas; vampiric thrall; pheromones; magnetic and charismatic characters in general)

Predator/prey pairings

Preferential treatment (e.g., making a point of showing respect towards someone when no one else does; showing a soft side only to them)

Pretending to be gay (cops or spies going undercover; a charade to deflect unwanted attention from a stranger; a ruse to avoid ritual marriage to aliens)

Primitivism (dropping technologically advanced characters into exotic/primitive settings; medieval societies either magical or non-magical; nomadic and desert cultures; warrior cultures; jungle tribes; the noble savage; Androcles/lion pairings; the social intimacies of tribes/camps; bacchanals; culture clash/shock; unusual practices/rituals, e.g., feats of skill and strength or marriage as treaty; schizo-tech cultures, as when a seemingly feudal pre-industrial society has high-tech elements; see also Roughnecks; Animal themes and fetishization; Animalistic behaviors or characteristics; Exoticism)

Prison scenarios (prison rape and/or protection; cruel guards; punishment; hard labor; deprivation; prisoners of war; camps and barracks; false imprisonment)

Prizes (characters who are eroticized as prizes or spoils of war)

Prostate pleasure

Prostitutes (call-girls and hookers; rent boys and hustlers; escorts; paying one's way through school with sideline hooking; juvenile past on the streets)

Protectiveness (physically or verbally defending someone; caretaking in general; big guy/little guy pairings; bodyguard scenarios; mysterious benefactors or protectors)

Public displays of affection, PDAs

Pushy bottom

Rape (single assailant; gang rape; partner rape)

Rape recovery

Religion (sin; faith and lack of faith; priests, monks, nuns, etc; shamans; biblical characters; angels and demons; gods and goddesses; saints; monastic or convent culture)

Rescue (danger and rescue in general, e.g., abductions)

Restraint (pinning someone down; pushing someone's arm up behind their back during sex; covering or clasping someone's hands to prevent movement)

Restraints (handcuffs, leather ties, chains, etc)

Restraints, full-body (stocks; suspension harnesses; fisting slings; rape racks)

Reversal of role or fortune (loss of love, power, rank, etc; hunter becomes prey, master becomes slave; a strong character is made weak; role-reversal games; Flowers for Algernon scenario)

Rimming or tongue-fucking

Rogues (outlaws, highwaymen, mercenaries, pirates, gangsters, hitmen, etc; black sheep and royal bastards; Han Solo characters; tricksters; see also Violent and dark natures and Rough behavior)

Romance (see Love and passion; Courting; Seduction)

Ropework (intricate/artistic erotic bondage)

Roughnecks (cowboys; Tarzan figures; relatedly rough characteristics and behavior, such as scruffiness, rudeness, crude language, uncouth habits, etc; see also Lady and the Tramp pairings; Primitivism; Rogues)

Rough sex (quick and dirty sex; hate or grudge sex; angry sex; fighting/wrestling; jackhammer fucking; sex with no or little lube)

Sadism or sadomasochism

Sandwich sexual position or chain fuck (threesome)

Scars or scarification

Scent as an erotic element

Schmoop

School themes and fetishization (boarding schools; dojos; scholarly gowns and uniforms; sailor fuku; prep school chic; teacher/student pairings; donnish or professorial characters; prefects/head boys; caning; schoolboy hijinks or sexual discovery; military academies; tutoring and teaching in general; see also Conditioning)

Secret admirers

Secret identity (superheroes, slayers, immortals, mutants, etc; disguised gender; spies)

Secrets, other (dark or criminal past; double lives; previous marriage and/or children; unspoken feelings)

Seduction (one-on-one; two-on-one; verbal or physical; intense erotic courtship or teasing; see also Courting)

Sensory overload or enhancement

Sex change (gender swap; forced feminization; see also Gender themes)

Sex in public or semi-public places

Sex in vehicles (cars, taxis, limos; planes or space shuttles; motorcycles; carnival rides)

Sex is interrupted

Sex on, against, or under furniture

Sex on horseback

Sex outdoors/outside (in a field; in a rainstorm; with snow falling; on the beach; in a graveyard; in an alley)

Sex slaves or mates (concubines, catamites, etc)

Sex standing up (including against a wall)

Sex with aliens (xenophilia)

Sex with clothes still on or partly on

Sexual appetite or excess (hypersexuality, i.e., high sex drive; sex addiction or compulsive behavior; short/no refractory period; multiple orgasms; multiple partners; indiscriminate sex or sluttishness)

Sexual discovery (of one's orientation; of new kinds of pleasure; of one's partner)

Sexual experience or expertise (high number of partners; wide variety of sexual experience; demonstrating experience by taking the lead in sex or teaching one's partner)

Sexual frustration (orgasm denial or being unable to come; blue balls; enforced abstinence; self-denial; inability of two people to touch)

Sexual hang-ups

Sexual movements (back arching; hips lifting; thrusting back; writhing, jerking, bucking; clenching; grinding or rocking; trembling or shivering; hooking legs around shoulders; pressing someone's legs back toward the bed; riding someone's fingers)

Sharing (sharing a beer bottle, joint, or bucket of popcorn; loaning someone clothes; a character letting someone stay in their home; sharing confidences; sharing a woman)

Shower sex

Shyness (embarrassment; blushing or stammering; body shyness or dysmorphic disorder; cultural modesty)

Silence (slave silence; silence as an erotic element in sex; trying to be silent during semi-public sex; going nonverbal or speechless with arousal; traumatic mutism; selective mutism; sign language; gestures used to convey feelings rather than words; see also Clams)

Simultaneous orgasm

Situational engineering (the conscious or unconscious manufacture of events that give an emotional or sexual pay-off which can't be otherwise achieved; in particular, perilous situations; for example, character A puts himself in danger in order to receive fussy attention from character B; pay-off can be simply seeing someone, or hurt/comfort touching, intimacy, adrenaline sex, etc)

Situational homosexuality

Sixty-nine (69)

Size queens

Slavery (see Master and slave)

Sleep and bedding themes (sharing a bed by necessity, such as in a hotel with only one room left; sharing a sleeping bag for warmth; sex while drowsy or sleeping; sex as a sleep aid; autonomic arousal from proximity; morning wake-up sex, falling asleep against someone's shoulder; watching someone sleep; dreams; nightmares; dream lovers, e.g., succubi; exotic or romantic beds, e.g., canopied; furs as bedding; silk sheets)

Slow and/or prolonged sex

Smarm (intense friendship with physical closeness but no actual sex)

Smiles or laughing

Snark

Society (social mores and morality; laws; institutional regulations such as Don't Ask Don't Tell; elaborate rituals or ceremonies; social events such as feasts and parties; decorum; formal or deferential modes of address; see also Witnesses)

Spanking (over the knee or lap, etc)

Special powers and skills (superhero powers; magical powers; telekinesis; shapeshifting; hyperdeveloped senses; combat expertise; sharpshooting; eidetic memory; computer hacking skills; thief skills; temporary gifts of power from drugs, alien devices, etc, repercussions of which could include delusions of godhood, dangerous physical or mental overload, and so on)

Spooning

Sports themes and fetishization (sports rivalries; uniforms and jock-straps; wrestling and sweaty exertion in general; locker-room or shower scenes; team gang-bangs; swimmer/surfer body types; pool and billiards games)

Straight or straight-acting partner(s)

Straight-guy sexual scenarios (comparing dick size; lending a helping hand; circle jerks; watching het porn together, with or without masturbation; practicing dancing, kissing, or romantic conversation in preparation for one character having a date with a woman)

Striking with implements (whips, belts, riding crops, canes, paddles, etc)

Striptease

Submission (obedience; submissive behaviors such as boot kissing, crawling, keeping one's eyes lowered, or kneeling for master; believing in cultural dictates of submissive behavior; abasement in general)

Surprises

Swallowing (come)

Swords and sword-play

Talking and communication issues (dirty talk or verbal seduction; sweet talking; reciting poetry; talking someone to orgasm; talking during sex; pillow talk; phone sex; speech becoming broken as one is aroused or upset; being inarticulate or articulate; aphasia; talking fast; miscommunication and misunderstandings in general; lack of a shared language; see also Silence; Clams; Voice fetishization)

Taste as an erotic element

Tattoos (decorative, symbolic, or slave; barcodes)

Teasing or tickling

Techno (technophilic themes; artificial humans; character is copied or downloaded into mechanical host body; other ghost in the machine scenarios; androids and cyborgs as sexual partners; wetwear enhancements; cyberpunk aesthetic; VR or Matrix scenarios; see also Otherness)

Telepathy (see also Bonds and mental abilities; Special powers and skills)

Temperamental personalities (driven or obsessed; hot-tempered or testy; moody; misanthropic or bitter; abrasive)

Tentacle sex

Threesomes (M/F/M, M/M/M, etc)

Top/bottom pairings (also seme/uke)

Topping

Topping from the bottom

Touching (stroking and caressing; cuddling or nuzzling; huddling for warmth; hugging; holding hands in public; touching as UST; brief brushes of contact either deliberate or accidental; PDAs; thighs brushing under a table; comic physical entanglements; someone gripping a wounded character's hand)

Toughness (machismo or hyper-masculinity; physical stamina; a hard surface covering an inner softie; resolve; survival skills; teeth-gritting acts such as pulling an arrow out of one's own thigh, etc; see also Rough behavior; Bad boys, etc)

Toys and devices (sex toys of all kinds; feathers, ice cubes, hot wax, etc)

Tragic flaws

Trapped or stranded together (on another world; on a desert island; in a cave-in; in a cabin during a snowstorm; in an elevator)

Triangles (love triangles)

Triangulation of desire (two men express their desire for each other through a female intermediary; sexual rivalry for a woman is actually homoerotic interest)

Trust and vows (promises are kept or broken; loyalty or betrayal; absolute trust or doubt; fidelity or infidelity; blindfolds or bondage as trust symbols; commitment or fear of commitment; acts of devotion; marriage vows; unconditional love; blood brothers and oaths; showing trust/faith in someone's abilities)

Underage partner or chan (adolescent)

Underdogs

Undressing (undressing in front of someone for the first time; one character undressing another; fumbling clumsily to get undressed; stripteases)

Urgency for sex (begging to suck cock; desperate to fuck; greedy bottom)

UST (unresolved sexual tension)

Vaginal/female genital fetishization (wet, tight; virginal; aching/stiff clit; wide lips; multi-orgasmic)

Vaginal penetration (e.g., deep dicking)

Vaginal penetration with foreign objects

Vampires

Violence (see Conflict; Death)

Violent feelings (hatred; murderous rage; need for revenge)

Violent and dark natures (sadists; assassins and murderers; sociopaths who make twisted, scary displays of affection, conflating love and violence; criminals and villains in general; characters who are ruthless, merciless, casually vengeful; soulless demons or vampires; monsters in general)

Virgins or inexperienced partners

Voice fetishization (cracking or broken; husky, low, throaty; purring; accents; whispering close to someone's ear)

Voyeurism and vision themes (character A secretly watches B and C have sex; character A is forced to watch B and C have sex; character A watches character B perform/masturbate; viewing one's beloved in general; taking pictures or video; eye contact, especially as flirting; establishing authority with a look; closing eyes as a trust gesture; character A feeling that character B truly sees him, when no one else does; the quality of light, e.g., characters lit by moonlight or candlelight, or gilded by the setting sun; being in the dark; temporary or permanent blindness; gazes as objectification)

Vulnerability

Warriors (see Heroes; Amazons and strong women; Toughness; Primitivism; Rogues; Military fetishization)

Washing (washing one's partner, body or hair; bubble baths; shower scenes; slave service in bath; cleaning/cleansing someone who's been raped, degraded, or who is injured)

Weapon fetishization (gun fu; trademark weaponry: Lara Croft's dual pistols, Duncan's katana; exotic weapons: war fans, whips; embedded: Wolverine's claws; magical/symbolic: Sting, Excalibur, Narsil; sentient or empathic; hiding a multitude of weapons on one's body; concealment in general: derringer in garter, boot knife; see other individual listings; Military fetishization)

Well-fucked (being fucked out; fuck-dazed; sated and sleepy; wrecked; softened and debauched)

Western scenarios and fetishization (cowboy gear; campfire and trail scenes; horses; gunslingers, lawmen, card sharps, etc; train robberies and bank hold-ups; posses; saloon brawls)

Wet dreams or erotic dreams

Wish-fulfillment

Wings (wingfic)

Witnesses (families, friends, or others watch the development of a relationship; play matchmaker or serve as confidants; think the characters are involved when they're really not; constitute the public eye; disapprove, gossip, give advice; are the audience for a coming out drama; are witnesses to such things as flirting, public arousal, public sex)

Woke up gay

Worry (one character worrying anxiously about another; going crazy with worry)

Writing (love letters or notes; secret admirers; e-mail and chat; wills; poetry; storytelling; tracing words or figures on skin, or writing, as with an inkbrush)

[sesskag1postchallenge]

Ch9 - Operation Grandpup Drop (A SitBoy Discord Crack Fic)

Warning this story is M bordering NSFW

Chapter 9:

 Slayer08/18/2019

"GAH!" Kagome tore herself away from Sesshomaru. "I can't believe  this! I am leaving. Get sober Sesshomaru  and see if you still feel that way!" She snatched up the incense and dunked it in a nearby glass of water and stomped out of the room and slammed the door.

 imjaneees08/18/2019

Before Sesshomaru could pull Naraku's entrails out of him and decorate the halls with them, the door opened and Kagome walked in again, separating the two.

"Stop it Sesshomaru you can't kill my cry pillow I still need him," with that she started dragging the dark hayou by the hair again, all the while complaining, "I'm still not done with my much needed cry session. The girls just don't get it, you know? They keep saying endure this, you'll find a better person soon, all that sham and I just want someone to let me feel bitter. By the way your shoulder devil antics aren't working, just so you know."

Once again Sesshomaru is left wondering just how blue must his balls be before Kagome finally gets it.

Walter20508/18/2019

"Kagome, do you know who you're holding onto? Let him go and I'll be your cry pillow," came a familiar voice that Kagome hadn't heard in over a year. Turning in surprise, she saw Shippo standing in the doorway, now almost as tall as her and sporting five tails now. 

 "Shippo, you've returned from the demon fox academy!" exclaimed Kagome as she dropped Naraku and ran over to embrace her son. 

 "C'mon mom, let's blow this joint," said Shippou as he took Kagome's hand and headed for the door outside. 

 "Unfortunately Kit, Kagome may not leave the Castle just yet. She is still a potential suitor after all," interrupted Inukimi as she strode in to greet the new guest. 

 "Oh yeah? We'll see about that," replied Shippo as he readied a leaf spell. In reply Inukimi clutched her Inter-Dimensional Necklace and started a chant that would banish Shippo into a different realm for the duration of Kagome's stay at the Castle. 

 However Shippo was ready for this and yelled, "Fox Magic: Fox Counter-spell!", as he threw the leaf at the necklace. It struck and there was a loud flash and bright explosion as their magics intertwined with one another. When the light faded, Inukimi's Necklace fell to the floor before shattering into a million pieces that swiftly disintegrated. 

 "Little Fox, do you know what you've done?" asked Inukimi in a quiet cold voice. 

 "Yeah, I've stopped your attempt to keep my mother trapped here," responded Shippo in kind with a triumphant grin spreading across his face. 

 "You young little fool. You've trapped Kagome's friends and my husband in a place and time that they do not belong and have removed all of my spells warding the castle, including protecting the Shikon No Tama from that devil hanyou. Lastly, you have incurred my wrath," growled Inukimi as her eyes glowed red with the beginning of her transformation.

 imjaneees08/18/2019

Everything happened all at once. No one had the time to react. Nothing went according to anyone's plan. The jewel once again pulled the rug from under everyone's feet, because there, whole and pure the jewel floated for a good few seconds before it darted off to go back inside where it belonged. Kagome had no time to even move before the jewel came shooting to her side, where it was taken from by Mistress Centipede all those years ago.

There was a bright, blinding light before it faded, along with Kagome's consciousness.

 Stormie Like Weather08/19/2019

Suddenly the ghost of her favorite singer, Prince, was standing before her in a raspberry beret and a mostly unbuttoned sparkly shirt. "Welcome, Girl!" 

Kagome thought she might swoon in her unconscious state, but that might be getting a bit pathetic. "P-prince? W-what are you doing here?!"

"I'm here for you, Girl!" He walked around her in the cloud-like room, "The Kami have decided to allow me to let you choose a future for yourself. Think of it as a new beginning, the  Jewel of Four Souls will not be allowed to leave your body once more, in return for the sacrifice of responsibility, you get to choose which side of the well you'd like to remain in. 

"W-what...?" Her hand clutched the spot where the jewel had just collided, "I get to choose?" 

"And not without some insight!" Suddenly before them appeared a giant cauldron of water, Prince waved his hand for her to peer into it's depths. "Should you choose the future..." An image of her appeared at university, the image faded into a pregnant version of her in the arms of what looked like Sesshomaru in a suite with a man bun. "Remain where you are..." The picture changed to Kagome playing with Inuyasha's wriggly worm-dog baby. Sesshomaru was nearby rolling his eyes, pointing to his junk and the words, "We could have much more like-able offspring if you'd just fuck me!" He looked pretty ragged. She must have been waffling still. The worm-pup made a giggling sound and the image faded to Kagome in the middle of a wedding ceremony with InuKimi crying. She couldn't tell if it was out of happiness or misery.... "Or, Prince waved his delicate hand." The image shifted into her standing there in Prince's arms as well as men and women crawling at their feet, touching themselves. 

"Oh my!" She flushed. 

"Well," Prince wriggled his brows while running his fingers along his chest and downward, "What'll it be?"

 imjaneees08/20/2019

Left eye twitching, Kagome finally snapped. She hasn't had one decent sleep since this whole debacle with grandpups happened, had her emotions played with, finally got the good crying she's always wanted ironically in the literal arms of the enemy only to get played again, the jewel went and screwed her over again, and now this Western bozo was trying to make her queen of all things sexual. Well she's had enough! No one is taking her v card without passing all of her criteria!

“I've had enough of you sex crazed baboons!“ and, brandishing the somehow nearby branch, she roceeded to thwack anything and everyone.

 Stormie Like Weather08/20/2019

Prince put his his hands up, immediately morphing into an image on her mother, "Kagome, dear, calm down." She put her hands on her hips, "You know the Kami are just trying to make you comfortable, so be grateful. Now choose do you wish to be returned to the present or remain in the past, or if you refuse to make a decision the Kami will be forced to choose for you - like last time." Kagome swallowed hard, she didn't like not getting a choice last time...

 Walter20508/20/2019

Before she could make her reply known her mother was suddenly ripped away from her, leaving her with an aching pain in her left side. Blinking awake, she looked around and discovered that the others had not been idle in the wake of her falling unconscious. Naraku had apparently gone on a rampage and abducted nearly every eligible human female and demoness plus a few taken ones. 

 From what she could see within his swirling cloud of miasma, Kagome was able to spot Inuemi, Sango, Eri, Yuka, Ayumi, and Ayame all trapped within his tentacles and those were just the ones she could spot. She also discovered that she was in a tentacle as well, as another zipped away from her with the jewel inside its mouth, leaving a small bleeding hole in her side that this time, wasn't being so quick to heal up. 

 As the blood stain spread amongst her towel, Kagome felt herself growing dizzy. But she heard howling in the distance and looking down, could see in the distance both Sesshomaru and Toga in hot pursuit in their true forms, the Band of 13 (minus Inuyasha, who must've still been recovering from labor) along with a few others riding on their backs. 

 Elsewhere Inukimi had caught the kit and knocked him out with her poison. She was going to spend some time with him in the dungeons at his expense for her entertainment but who knew? Perhaps she would settle for getting her pups out of him one day once he reached proper mating age, if he was still alive by that point in time.

 imjaneees08/21/2019

Completely done with life as it was for the moment, Kagome, forgoing the pain on her side that wasn't as bad as the bleeding suggested, dragged herself on the tentacle holding her until she managed to reach Naraku.

"Okay trash boy, what sob story do you have this time around that made you want that jewel? Let's hear it," he did listen to her that one time, and never let it be said that Kagome wasn't a fair woman. Quid pro quo and all that jazz.

 Walter20508/21/2019

"Sob story, you say? Hmm, perhaps you would like to help me out with this one my dear Miko. You see, while you and the others were cavorting around the sky castle I had finished assembling the jewel, steeped it in darkness, and made my two wishes on it, first being the old wish from Onigumo to have Kikyo and the second for me, Naraku, to become a full demon. And would you like to know what happened?" asked Naraku in a sarcastic tone. 

 "The Jewel didn't grant you your true wish. It never does, despite the power it offers, all it does is use people to get what it wants without giving them what they truly want so it can keep on existing," replied Kagome with a mixture of sad regret and pity. 

 "Exactly right as I've come to learn. Although I appreciate the tremendous amount of power it has given me, in doing so it has used me for its own devices and no one uses this Naraku, no matter who or what they might be. Now do me favor and reach out to touch the Jewel while praying," asked Naraku as his tentacle extended the Jewel to her. 

 Not sure what was going on, Kagome at least knew purifying the Jewel would be better than leaving it tainted so as she started praying her power came to the surface and upon fingertip contact purified the Jewel completely. Naraku brought to a point where it was between the two of them. 

 "In confiding its plans with me, the evil spirit within the Jewel, the entity known as Magatsuhi, told me how the 'heroes' would be able to destroy the Jewel, through the use of the one true wish. Hmph, bet he never thought that a villain such as this Naraku would be the one to utter it. I will be making my wish now, Shikon No Tama," said Naraku, causing the Jewel to began buffeting the both of them with power as fear overcame the evil entity within. 

 "Cease to Exist, Forever," both Naraku and Kagome said in unison, as she pleasantly surprised Naraku. The Jewel shattered into a thousand fragments that dissipated on the wind.

 imjaneeesLast Thursday at 8:41 AM

It was over. Just like that. And with the most unlikely person to end it with too, Kagome though her life was full of ironies. She always thought she and her friends would have to pry the jewel from Naraku's pile of ashes but it seems like life has other plans. It was so easy too. She never thought it would end so easily.

"That was...far different from what I envisioned it to be. I can't really complain though," Kagome muttered. Then out loud for any and all to hear, "Okay, someone catch me because I just know I'm going to pass out again and this time, please don't wake me for at least another 8 hours." and she did just that

 Walter205Last Saturday at 10:19 AM

Naraku smirked at Kagome's declaration, knowing that he already had her entangled in his tentacles. When the jewel had died it was like a fog had been lifted from his mind, having clouded his thoughts ever since he had come to be. He was absolutely still an evil minded little bastard but now Naraku felt like he was free to do as he pleased instead of just scheming to either get the jewel or torture his opposition to taint the jewel. 

 He had such plans for the little miko now...but even as she lost consciousness, she was surrounded in a blue glow. As Naraku watched in dismay, she disappeared, leaving his tentacle hanging empty. He took stock of his situation as he glanced around at his other captives. With the jewel gone he no longer felt the need to torture his enemies so he let Inuemi and Sango go, letting his pursuers stop to catch them while he held on to Kagome's three friends, who remained in his grasp.

 Meanwhile, Kagome floated through a blue void as a trio of other worldly beings discussed her fate while she slept. 

 "What about her three friends? They are out of time's normal flow as well," asked one being. 

 "Leave them in the past. It was an abuse of her authority to take them into the past. As punishment she shall know only of their fates a few hundred years ago," said the second being. 

 "A harsh punishment to be sure, but harsh is needed when it comes to the treatment of the normal flow of time. Come, let us return her to the present and close down the portal until the next suitable crisis arises," said the third before the three of the them disappeared. 

 Moments later Miss Higurashi watched as a blue light burst forth from the well house and into the main house before flaring and dying in Kagome's bedroom as she was deposited still sleeping into her bed.

 Stormie Like WeatherLast Saturday at 10:17 PM

Across town in the Port of Tokyo an ancient dog awoke the instant the magical power receded from the well. He ran trimmed claws through his short hair and pulled the frustration from his face. It was time to make the acquaintance of someone he had not seen in many a century. 

Returning to the harbor, he moved his vessel into its place at the marina and dropped anchor.

 Walter205Last Sunday at 11:55 AM

Sesshomaru returned the salute of Captain Takahashi as he walked down the gangplank upon leaving the deck of his flagship, the Guided Missile Destroyer (DDG) Kongo of the Japanese Maritime Self Defense Force's (JMSDF) First Fleet. 

 "I take it the maneuvers were a success, Admiral Taisho?" asked Kouga, disguised as he was as Captain Takahashi of the Guided Missile Frigate (FFG) Abukuma, one of Sesshomaru's most trusted subordinates. 

 "Yes, I believe we'll be in great shape when it comes time to conduct the RIMPAC exercises with our American counterparts. I look forward to upstaging Admiral Greenland once again," Sesshomaru answered under the human guise of Admiral Takagi Taisho. 

 As he left the Captain on the dock behind him, his aide attaché came running up to join him, briefing the Admiral on his current schedule. Another disguised demon, Lieutenant Takeda (Shippou) informed him of his schedule for the next three days, mostly meetings with various ship commanders and high command concerning the upcoming exercises.

 "Are there any important meetings for me this evening?" asked Sesshomaru, but when Shippou nodded no, he asked the Fox to clear his schedule. 

 "I have an important meeting to attend in the old Edo section of Tokyo, an old acquaintance, non-service related. No need to attend or send guards, I'll just need a chauffeur, someone who knows the area...Ensign Hojo should do the trick nicely," ordered Sesshomaru. The young man had always been curious as to what happened to Kagome and her three friends ever since they had "disappeared" three years ago. Sesshomaru himself was curious as to the discrepancy in time as it had only been one day in the past since her three friends had initially arrived to the point that Kagome disappeared herself.

 imjaneeesLast Sunday at 11:28 PM

Meanwhile, back in the Higurashi household, Kagome slept like a hybernating bear. It didn't help that somehow, sometimes in her deep sleep, her hands managed to reach out and grab something fluffy and long. Now it was twined around her, keeping her neck, arms and legs warm against the bitter cold. Humming in contentment, she buried her face against the fluffy thing. It was so warm and fluffy. It reminded her of Sesshomaru's mokomoko actually. On that note, it kind of smelled like it too. On that note, what was mokomoko anyway? Sesshomaru didn't seem to be the type to make fashion statements. Then again she's been wrong about him before.

 Walter205Yesterday at 8:37 AM

In order to enter the service Sesshomaru had to get rid of mokomoko, but it didn’t want to leave its master’s side, so it had thrown a tantrum which had led to Sesshomaru casting it out onto the streets. For a couple of decades now hobomoko had been wandering aimlessly through the streets, but it held memory of its former master’s desires, so when the miko arrived back in this time, it knew sweet revenge was at hand. Even now the foolish girl embraced it closer as it prepared to sever her head with the Butchers Cleaver it held over her neck...

 imjaneeesYesterday at 9:25 AM

Completely unaware of the danger she was in, as per usual, Kagome continued to snuggle her face against the soft fur. Dreaming of soft, innocent and cute puppies and kittens, she nuzzled and kiss the unstable fluff, "Who's a good puppy? You are! Oh yes you are! I'm keeping all of you now."

Perhaps, oh just perhaps, revenge can come in a different, more personal angle...

[eidolonlathi]

Yet Another Nonsensical Flashback

The flashback of chapter 197 marks another turning point in the way this manga is attempting to tell its story. Has the entire Karafuto arc struggled with problems and dismissed a more nuanced story telling in favour of a clearer black/white morality,chapter 197 marks the beginning to of an even bigger simplification: With it the manga proudly embraces children’s cartoon storytelling, making a single entity of evil responsible for all the bad things in the entire plot.

It’s another flashback coming out of the blue, featuring no single event that has ever been hinted at before in the manga. Instead relying on the cheap shock effect of inserting plot twists so fresh and sudden no one had a chance to ever predict them. "Beware, Tsurumi the devil, he abducted 16 year old Koito to trick him and his family into submission!" Yes, we already know Tsurumi is the devil. Just draw him with cool horns from now on and for the sake of everything holy, move on with the snail pace that is slowing down the plot development of the Karafuto arc since its very beginning.

It’s likely this flashback retcon was not yet decided about 30 chapters ago, when Enonoka got abducted and threatened by that criminal. Because why would any writer on earth miss the chance to throw in subtle hints in this situation that witnessing how a teenager getting taken hostage and held at knifepoint would upset Koito for some reason.

What we have instead is that Koito isn’t getting affected by this event in any outstanding form. He’s displaying the same shocked surprise than the rest of the Karafuto party that a girl they travel with suddenly has got taken hostage, but nothing about his behaviour stands out. Instead the situation with Enonoka getting kidnapped was all about how it moves Sugimoto. How it upset him, a reminder Asirpa’s current location and wellbeing was still unknown and how he couldn’t bear them being separated any longer.

But then, on the same note the writing never used the opportunity to leave a clue Koito suffered from having lost a sibling by making the connection to Kouhei missing his twin and having lost a brother himself. You would think a comrade in close proximity suffering from similar issues would manage to affect Koito in some way but instead the situation has left him completely cold every since.

Also the flashback tries making a connection between Ogata and Koito so badly, with Ogata the being the one to threaten Koito before the recollection sets in. But previous to these chapter it was never elaborated on before either how Koito shares Ogata’s fate of being the unwanted son and having been viewed as the official failure the entire time he’s been growing up.

Also what is the anpan situation supposed reveal? By the time Koito got abducted he had been living in Hokkaido since two years, why would he connect this Hokkaido anpan to the ‘stranger’ he met such a long time ago at the cemetery? All of this could have been meaningful if Koito had ever hinted at the food connection before. He’s so obsessed with Tsurumi, you would think there would have been a throwaway line of how he wished to share anpan with Tsurumi again or something similar. The scene he was having tea and sweets at that Russian lighthouse would have been perfect for inserting a clue about those past events. Instead? Nothing.

It’s hard to see this many missed chances of inserting clues as coincidence. So either this flashback was yet another of the countless retcons stacking up or the writing is simply not able to write a believable build-up for plot twists it wants make us believe were there since ever.

I love how the writing clumsily inserts information from earlier chapters, in an attempt to hide and distract how unfitting to everything previously known the rest of the flashback comes along. Foreshadowing means you insert clues about an incoming flashback in previous parts of the story, not doing it the other way around. It did the same distraction technique with a panel the in Hanezawa flashback, were it mirrored an old panel, trying to make readers believe the fact Tsurumi’s had once held O-Gin’s and the Lightning Thief’s baby in his arms had been supposed to be a hint for that nonsensical backstory.

The writing has completely lost it, hasn't it? Of course the flashback of chapter 197 is another never hinted at retconned backstory. What else is Tsurumi responsible for? It’s implied he might have killed Igogusa (another flashback that never made any sense), maybe even being responsible elder Koito brother died as well? I’m sure we haven’t heard the half of it and an entire pile of new atrocities will be incoming, be it past or current acts of malice. The writing has successfully transitioned this manga into a children story, where a single evil entity is responsible for all the bad in the world. Congratulations. Riveting storytelling. At this point it's unrealistic this story’s big bad isn’t already ruling over Hokkaido.

Because I mean look, if Tsurumi is this overpowered and crafty, why hasn't he reached his goal yet? Being the cunning devil he is he already should have managed to overthrow the Tenno. Getting control over measly Hokkaido must be a child’s play in comparison for the amounts of unfathomable evil he is able to pull. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t form one of the manga’s countless antagonists into the biggest form of evil imaginable and at the same time render him comically powerless and incompetent when’s it’s convenient for the story. And this story wants to have it convenient. Giving Tsurumi all the power in the world to pull off evil affecting the manga yes, but at the same time the writing will make him sabotage himself when it counts.

The most cunning and evil man in the world but suddenly he is too stupid to realize when lying to a subordinate is a dangerously bad idea. Only in this manga.

During this scene the reader learns that Tsurumi has been lying to Nikaidou about what happened at Abashiri, telling him Sugimoto ended up dead. No matter for what reason he did it, telling this lie was an incredible stupid thing to do. There is no way the truth will stay hidden from Nikaidou. And Tsurumi would know this, there is no way he would be this naïve to believe a lie of that scope can be held up forever.

So why did he tell Nikaidou that Sugimoto, -the very person Nikaidou swore revenge upon for having killed his twin brother- died in the first place? On a textual lever it’s implied to be misplaced pity, the attempt to free Nikaidou from the revenge that until now has brought him nothing but more suffering. But the bigger explanation is much simpler: The writing conveniently once again dumbed Tsurumi down for the plot, making him tell a dangerous lie for the sake of having a cheap dramatic turn of events in the future. It is foreseeable Nikaidou will eventually find out the truth and then turn on Tsurumi, most likely in the most inconvenient moment.

Tsurumi alone is responsible for every single known and as of yet unknown atrocity that ever took place in this manga. We get it, stop boring us with details.

[sebeth]

Young Justice: The Return (Animation)

In an earlier post, I wrote my thoughts on the upcoming return of the Young Justice comic book. Now it’s time for the cartoon series.

I’ve tried to avoid most interviews but I have seen the promo images and watched the two trailers repeatedly.  I like to go in as spoiler-free as possible when watching/reading media but I only have so much self-control.

Let’s start with the main plot –

There will be a time jump between season 2 and 3 – we’re just not sure of the exact length.  

The formation of the Outsiders, along with the rescue of Terra, will be the main arc of season three.

Dick reunites with Conner and Artemis in the beginning of the season for “one last mission”.  Black Lightning accompanies the trio to Markovia to shut down the metahuman trafficking ring.  Why?  Besides the fact that human trafficking is bad.  Black Lightning has no previous connection to Young Justice but he has long-standing connections to Batman.

Has Batman already formed the Outsiders minus Geo-Force and Halo?  We briefly see Batman, Katana, and Metamorpho jump from a plane and later brawl with Deathstroke.  Batman formed the group in the comics - it would make sense for him to be behind the group’s organization in the cartoons.  A covert group for more adult missions he wouldn’t want the Young Justice children to participate in.

I’m guessing the Markovia mission reveals the metahuman trafficking ring is way more extensive than previously thought – leading Dick to reunite with - and resume leadership – of Young Justice.

The Light and the Reach experimenting with metahuman activation began in season two.  Per Wonder Woman, the Justice League “have confirmation that on multiple worlds, earth’s metahumans are being deployed by the enemy as weapons of mass destruction.”

Wonder Woman’s comment suggests the abducted metahumans are being subjected to brainwashing along with experimentation.  I highly doubt the newly activated metahumans would rampage across the universe without mind control directing their actions.

The “multiple worlds” comment ties together Bart’s “we have a mission in space” with the glimpses of the New Gods, Superboy’s brawl with Lobo, and Dick and Conner fighting Sensei/Silver Monkey on a foreign world.

New Genesis might be one of the world’s affected by the “metahumans of mass destruction”, Lobo could have been hired by the Light, and Sensei/Silver Monkey is guarding one of Ra’s Al Ghul’s headquarters.

On to the characters:

First up, the Outsiders –

Geo-Force, Katana, Halo, Metamorpho, Black Lightning

Terra

The Markov Royal Family

As I said above, I’m fairly confident Batman has already formed the Outsiders before the beginning of the season.  Possibly as a true “covert” group – as in without the Justice League’s knowledge or permission.

Young Justice was told they were a “covert” group by the Justice League but mostly it was a “training wheels” type group – smaller missions while being trained by the more experienced heroes.  They did covert missions but were still in the press and public’s eyes.

The Outsiders will be the true covert group – sticking to the shadows, away from the press, down and dirty missions, etc.

As for the individual Outsiders:

Geo-Force - Brion is an adorable big brother.  Noble, protective, eager to find his sister and stop the bad guys.  Visually his powers should be awesome – they are similar to Terra’s.

Terra – Not a member of the Outsiders but I wanted to include her with Brion.  The big question: will Terra be a villain?  I’m guessing “yes”.  Comic cannon dooms her to this fate.  I do believe it will be the result of the Light’s brainwashing instead of the general “evil” nature.  Possibly making her a tragic villain.  Will Deathstroke be involved with Terra’s brainwashing?  Comic cannon says “yes”.  Could Batman, Metamorpho, and Katana storm the island looking for Terra?  Is that why the Outsiders end up fighting Deathstroke?

Black Lightning – Jeff appears serious and mature.  Love his visual design.  Can’t wait to see him in costume.

Metamorpho – We only have a visual impression.  Very nice. I wonder if we’ll see Sapphire or Simon Stagg?  Rex will be the one who gives Deathstroke the most trouble in the upcoming fight.

Katana – Not much to go on yet except visually.  Katana’s design reminds me of a more adult version of her DC Girls attire.  Excited to see her in action.

Halo – Will be entirely different from the comics.  She is a person of color and possibly Muslim?  Let’s skip all the drama and hatred over the race change.  Please?!  She’s seems to be a new character.  I highly doubt her name is going to be “Violet Harper”.  For those unfamiliar with Halo, she wasn’t a great character.  Apologies to Halo fans.  Violet was a sociopath who was murdered by the 100, a criminal organization.  Aurakle, an alien entity, merged with Violet’s deceased body.  The “resurrection” caused amnesia.  It gets more complicated from there.  Let’s agree to start fresh and give the new Halo a chance.  Halo’s powers are light-based – different colors have different effects.  Halo’s colors were the same ones used by every color Lantern corps.  However, Halo predated the emotional spectrum Lantern corps by twenty years.  I’m betting Halo receives her powers in the cartoon due to the Light’s genetic manipulation. The one thing I would like to see carry over from the comic books is the maternal/big sister role Katana has in Halo’s life.

On to the Young Justice newbies:

Spoiler – I’m excited – I love Stephanie.  She had a brief cameo in Season Two.  How and why did she join the team? Is she involved with Tim?  Will this cause friction with Cassie?  I hope not as I would love to see Steph and Cassie bond. Cassie is very exuberant in the cartoon and Steph has the same approach to life – I would love to see the two become close friends.

Arrowette – A surprise choice since we already have Artemis, Roy, and clone Roy in the series.  Glad to see her as she was a prominent member/supporting character in the comic book series.  Will she develop a close friendship with Cassie and Bart?  Those were her two besties in the comics.

Thirteen/Traci 13 – Another surprise choice. Traci can easily step into the void Zatana left when she joined the Justice League.  Will Traci have a romance with Blue Beetle?  They were a cute couple in the pre-New 52 era.

Oracle – Not a true new character but Barbara has clearly been through some changes since season two. Will we see a Killing Joke flashback? Or did Babs become Oracle in a different way?

Static – Like Oracle, Static is a returning character but with an upgrade.  The writers seem to love electricity this season – we have Static, Black Lighting, and Live Wire also makes an appearance in the trailer.

Notable absences:

Miss Martian – I won’t miss M’gann if she’s absent this season.  She started out cute in season one, became creepy with the Conner-molding, and became worse in season two with the unrepentant mind-frying and toying with Lagoon Boy.  So no thank you unless Miss Martian has learned from her mistakes and expresses honest regret over her actions. Feeling bad for mind-frying Kaldur does not count as honest regret.  M’ganns the easiest case for a “hero goes bad” if the show writers wanted to go that route.

Aqualad, Lagoon Boy, Aquaman, etc – Atlantis has had zero representation in either trailer.  Did something happen to Atlantis during the time jump?  Will that be one of the mysteries during the season?

Miscellaneous thoughts on the upcoming season:

We are all but guaranteed a fourth and fifth season of Young Justice.  We know it’s going to be one of the heavyweights of the DC Universe streaming service so I don’t want various plotlines rushed.

Season Three will have 26 episodes.  The majority will focus on the Outsiders and the metahuman trafficking ring alongside a “mission in space”.    That leaves room for some “done in one” episodes or time for the development of various subplots.

The two big questions on fan’s minds: Will we see the return of Wally West or the debut of the Red Hood?

I would bet Wally’s return will be near the end of the season.  The writers will want a “wow” ending for the season finale and that would be it.

As for Red Hood…I feel it’s a strong possibility.  I don’t think the writers would have had Jason’s memorial hologram if they didn’t have any intention of using the Red Hood.

The writers could have Red Hood’s debut be similar to Jason’s appearance in the Teen Titans comics:  Jason attacks Tim, and leaves the “Jason Todd/Red Hood Was Here” message on the walls.  I’m not sure if the writers want to redo the entire “Under The Red Hood” storyline.  At this point, it’s been done in the comic books, an animated movie, and a video game – most fans are familiar with the details by this point.  Jason’s attack on Tim would allow Dick to fill in the rest of the team on the details of Jason’s resurrection.  Dick has been keeping his distance from the team as indicated by his “one last mission” line.  Dick’s distance would easily explain why the rest of the team is unaware of Jason’s return. Tim wouldn’t explain “Gotham business” to his teammates – he’s much more introverted and was way more intent on respecting Batman-imposed boundaries than Dick.

A developing friendship between Arsenal-Roy and Jason is a must.  Not only because of the “Outlaws” comic book but because it’s a natural development between two traumatized boys prone to lashing out.

What I Don’t Want:

A Conner-M’gann relationship – The pairing started cute but is now toxic.  Creepy molding combined with mind manipulation = abuse.

No Damian Wayne, Cassandra Cain, Starfire, Cyborg, or Raven.  At least not this season.  We have multiple new characters debuting this season, new characters who didn’t receive much focus last season, and a possibly debuting Red Hood. The seating capacity is full – no new debuts until season four.

I’ve rambled enough for now – so excited for January!

[preserving-ferretbrain]

Garth Ennis Is A Hack

by Rude Cyrus

Friday, 10 April 2009

Rude Cyrus is deservedly rude about The Boys.~

Once upon a time, superheroes were seen as protectors of the innocent, bringers of justice, and saviors of mankind. When I was a kid, there was no greater thrill than watching Superman pummel giant robots or stop a plane from crashing into a city. As time went on, the public began to tire of flawless beings that could do no wrong, so creators began to make the heroes more “realistic”, at least in terms of character. Antiheroes like Wolverine and The Punisher became popular while concepts like vigilantism would be explored in comics like Watchmen.

Unfortunately, the pendulum swung a little too far during the ‘90s, a decade where you couldn’t swing a dead badger without hitting some DARK and GRITTY antihero. This is the same decade that gave birth to Image Comics, a publisher that needs to make an acquaintance with an H-Bomb. All you need to know about Image Comics is that it took over the canceled Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtlesfranchise and turned Donatello into a cyborg. That says it all.

This brings me to the present and The Boys, a comic series written by Garth Ennis and illustrated by Darick Robertson (which I keep pronouncing as “da’ Rick”).

Let me just say that I hate this series. I don’t hate it because it’s ultra-violent and ultra-sexualized. I don’t hate it because it makes superheroes (or “supes” as they’re called here) turn out to be a bunch of amoral douchebags. I don’t hate it because I think Garth Ennis is an overrated hack who’s convinced everyone he’s a genius. No, I hate it because I can’t stand the characters.

Everybody, with few exceptions, is thoroughly repugnant. Just look at the main characters:

Billy Butcher is a sociopath with a neck the size of a ham and a perpetual smirk plastered on his face. He owns a bulldog named Terror that can fuck things on command; seemingly hates supes because one raped his wife, who ended up dying because the fetus ripped through her stomach. Butcher ended up beating said fetus to death with a lamp.

Wee Hughie joined The Boys after his girlfriend was accidentally killed by a supe named A-Train. Much of the series is focused on following Hughie’s thoughts and actions, which is unfortunate because he’s a wet blanket with exactly three facial expressions: anger, incredulity, and shit-eating grin. He’s also a dead ringer for Simon Pegg – I suspect Ennis was sitting around, smoking pot, and said to himself, “Dude, wouldn’t it be cool if Simon Pegg had superpowers?”

Mother’s Milk is a somewhat decent guy, which means he gets shoved into the background more often than not. He seems to derive his powers from an entity he calls “Momma” in a process that makes him vomit. Why does he have to do this? Who cares, let’s watch a midget use a massive vibrator!

The Frenchman and The Female are psychotic killers with the ability to rip people apart with their bare hands. Defining characteristics: one is French, the other lacks a penis. Garth Ennis doesn’t give a shit about them, so why should I?

And what would a team of morally dubious antiheroes be without a team of superheroes to oppose them? Enter the Seven, an analogue of the Justice League, filled with characters that make The Boys look like The Boy Scouts. The only good member of the group is Starlight, and she’s constantly degraded by the other members, whether it’s forced into wearing a more revealing outfit, giving fellatio to the male members of the group as a “test”, or nearly being raped by the aforementioned A-Train. It’s also strongly hinted that Homelander (leader of the Seven and Superman analogue) was the one who raped Butcher’s wife.

What a charming bunch. Thankfully, it’s not all bad, as Starlight later becomes Hughie’s girlfriend. It’s a match made in heaven, as they’re both outstandingly bland.

Other notable characters include a CIA analyst with a fetish for female paraplegic athletes, a CIA director that frequently has humiliating sex with Butcher, and recurring cameos by Stan Lee – okay, he’s called the Legend, but it’s supposed to be Stan Lee. Perhaps “Exposition Man” would be a better name, because all he does is talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk and talk…

Speaking of stereotypes, there are quite a few on display here. For example, there’s the two fat, hairy, greasy, comic book store-owning Italian brothers who are constantly using variations of “fuck” and threatening their customers with graphic violence; the enormous bearded Russian who talks about communism and the Motherland all the time; the “East Coast vs. West Coast” superhero teams that are always fighting each other, throwing up gang signs and using the n-word. I kept wondering why Garth Ennis was doing this, and I settled on “because he thinks it’s funny.” See, Ennis is pointing out how absurd these stereotypes are, so it’s not really racist, right? Right?

Despite all of this, I forced myself to read all 29 issues, which, at times, felt like I was cutting off my legs with a rusty hacksaw – oh, look, the Russian guy is called “Love Sausage” because he has a fifteen-inch cock! Oh look, Hughie has menstrual blood on his face from oral sex because Starlight was on her period! Oh look, one of the superheroes can vomit acid! Isn’t that a knee-slapper? Worse still was the heavy-handed social and political commentary that Ennis shoehorned in, ranging from how St. Patrick’s Day sucks, to how the military-industrial complex has the United States in a chokehold, to American politics (the President and Vice President being analogues for Dick Cheney and George W. Bush, respectively), to how superheroes are evil. He even uses 9/11 to make his point, for fuck’s sake. Basically, one of the hijacked planes crashed into the Brooklyn Bridge (the World Trade Center and the Pentagon were spared) because the Seven tried to save the day but bungled it due to incompetence and selfishness. Do you see? SUPERHEROES ARE EVIL!

No, that wasn’t what made me stop reading this comic. What made me stop was the latest story arc, called “We Gotta Go Now”. The Boys have to investigate the public suicide of Silver Kincaid, a member of the G-Men (no prizes for guessing who they’re supposed to be an analogue of), for reasons I can’t be bothered to look up. Hughie has to go undercover and infiltrate one of the younger G-teams (as “Bagpipe”, because he’s Scottish, get it?) called G-Wiz. See the subtle pun there?

It’s immediately apparent that something is off with G-Wiz – sure, they might seem to be your average fraternity (i.e. boorish drunks obsessed with bodily functions), but they’re a little too comfortable with each other, if you catch my drift. Couple this with the revelation that G-Men’s leader, John Godolkin (analogue of Charles Xavier – apologies for all the analogues) actually abducted almost all of the G-Men when they were kids and turned them into superheroes, the fact that he refers to the G-Men as his “children”, and all of the dark mutterings of “what we had to deal with” and things start becoming clear.

At this point I thought, “No way. There’s no way Ennis would be so cheap and unoriginal. There has to be more to this.” I read issue 29, and, lo and behold, one of the characters confirmed my worst fears:

John Godolkin is a child molester.

That was the last straw. It wasn’t because one of the villains was a pedophile; rather, it was because Garth Ennis had resorted to such tacky exploitation in order to wring an emotion from his audience. Instead of taking the time to craft something novel, Ennis, out of sheer laziness, decided to go for the biggest heartstring and yank. Why have a complex villain when you can just say, “He’s an evil kid-toucher! BOOGA BOOGA!”

I’m sure Ennis pats himself on the back every day for what he thinks is scathing criticism on the superhero genre and insightful commentary on numerous aspects of life. He isn’t clever, creative, or even likable. He’s just a lazy hack. My smoldering ire also extends to the fans that keep buying this dreck and give it good reviews. What the hell is wrong with these people? My guess is that, in their minds, they equate DARK, GRITTY, and SERIOUS with being good. In my mind, it’s just BULLSHIT, BULLSHIT, and more BULLSHIT.

Themes:

Damage Report

,

Sci-fi / Fantasy

,

Comics

~

bookmark this with - facebook - delicious - digg - stumbleupon - reddit

~Comments (

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)

Wardog

at 17:17 on 2009-04-10I don't know what to say ... I am completely flabbergasted by the awfulness of this. Why on earth is it garnering praise?

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Arthur B

at 17:26 on 2009-04-10Once upon a time the publishers of

2000 AD

thought it would be great to hand over all the writing duties for the comic for a few months to Garth Ennis, Grant Morrison, and various hangers-on. Why they thought this was a good idea was a mystery because Garth had already proven he shouldn't be trusted with other people's properties when in

Strontium Dogs

(the sequel series to

Strontium Dog

) he pulled a blatant retcon out of his capacious arse to turn the sweet, gentle comic relief character The Gronk into a psychotic gun-toting protagonist. Nonetheless, the magazine went ahead with the Summer Offensive, as it called the promotion (because, you see, it's Garth Ennis and he likes being offensive, and it happened in the summer), and the general tone of the comic went from "12A bordering on 15" (in movie age rating terms) to "18 certificate and a big argument about violence in the media on the side", which prompted the parents of certain younger subscribers, such as myself, to cancel the magazine.

And that's how Garth Ennis ruined

2000 AD

for an 11 year old Arthur.

Seriously, the man is awful. I think the only thing he's done that I've actually liked was

Hellblazer: Dangerous Habits

. Frustratingly, that was brilliant. He's capable of not being an idiot if he tries, he just

doesn't try

.

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Rude Cyrus

at 19:49 on 2009-04-10This was actually nominated for an Eisner Award for "Best Continuing Series" in 2008. And comic bok fans wonder why so many people don't take comics seriously.

Thanks for the image, by the way.

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Wardog

at 20:35 on 2009-04-10For a moment there I was wondering if you meant the image of an 11 year old Arthur but then I realised you meant the literal image that illustrates this article. I hope it's okay - I chose the cover that most annoyed me :)

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Sonia Mitchell

at 23:23 on 2009-04-10This series sounds horrific. Thank you for the warning.

(I badly want to google cyborg Donatello. I'd like to think it can't be as disastrous as I'm imaginging, but that would probably be naive. I'm therefore restraining myself...)

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Arthur B

at 00:46 on 2009-04-11

Oh hey look what else Image have published.

On the other hand, they also put out

The Walking Dead

, which

I really like

.

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Guy

at 03:59 on 2009-04-11Speaking of Image, this is one of the most funny/disturbing things I've ever read: Rob Liefeld's 40 worst drawings: http://progressiveboink.com/archive/robliefeld.html

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Arthur B

at 15:04 on 2009-04-11I'm amazed they were able to find 40 drawings worse than

the infamous Captain America one

.

Actually, I'm not amazed, Liefeld is terrible. Oh God, the feet...

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 06:31 on 2010-07-11Thread necromancy: After reading this article from the random button, I'm reading

The Boys

out of morbid curiosity. I've gotten through the first couple of storylines, issues one through ten. It's about as disgusting as Rude Cyrus has said, with everything as juvenile and pointlessly violent and so forth.

One of the annoying things is that there are occasionally glimmers of interest that make me think "You know, if Garth Ennis actually gave a shit, and stopped dropping tons of stupid violence and stupid sex and stupid ham-fisted 'haha the gay activist is violently afraid of actual homosexuals' shit, he might actually be able to make some points about 'how do we make superheroes accountable?'" One advantage of

The Boys

is that, unlike

Civil War

, it's just one author, so there aren't a bazillion different axes being ground. And it doesn't seem like it's constrained by being a DC Comics Continuity Event, the way

Civil War

was a Marvel Comics Continuity Event. And every once in a while, it seems like Ennis might have something to say on the matter.

But it inevitably degenerates into "hurr hurr supes are pervs, butcher punches them." Fuck you, Ennis, for being wasted potential.

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http://webcomcon.blogspot.com/

at 06:32 on 2010-07-11Aack, unclosed HTML tags. Sorry! (I'm used to a forum that won't let me post if I have unmatched tags, and didn't check.)

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Rami

at 05:43 on 2010-07-12@webcomcon: Fixed it for you. I'm afraid FerretBrain doesn't really do warnings -- but we do suggest using the Preview button!

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http://blackgeep.livejournal.com/

at 18:20 on 2010-07-13Continuing thread necromancy!

I am a comic book artist. I detest

The Boys

with a deep, abiding disgust. My employer thinks it's brilliant. He is also a big fan of Liefeld (needs more pouches!), so go figure. While

The Boys

is bad, try having your only income being working on the dream project of someone who likes

The Boys

, and feel your artistic integrity shrivel.

I actually considered sending in issue one of

Polis

(what I'm paid to draw) to Ferretbrain for a review; I may yet do that alongside

Polis

issue two and my own side project for what the great minds here could find a fun comparison. "The world is corrupt and drug-addled, corporations are evil, and our main hero is an amoral Cape [superhero] with few redeeming qualities." versus "A space princess and space pirates act terribly toward one another, but all in good fun." I asked my employer, and he thinks any publicity is good.

Speaking of "Cape" and "Supe", what is this allergic reaction to the word superhero? Yes, superhero is a long word, but so is computer. From my perspective, it would seem more likely that superhero would get shortened to just hero. Then advert campaigns about "The

real

heroes of X city: our policemen and firefighters" would take on a whole new weight. Plus, I haven't met many people who say 'puter, and compy only caught on after Strongbad popularised it.

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Dan H

at 19:11 on 2010-07-13I think the thing about abbreviating "superhero" to something like "cape" or "supe" (did Watchmen use "mask" or am I making that up) is that it highlights the fact that this is an EDGY SERIOUS WORK OF FICTION about EDGY DARK CHARACTERS not some KIDDY THING about SUPERHEROES.

Because as we all know, nothing screams "maturity" like going to great lengths to appear mature.

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http://blackgeep.livejournal.com/

at 21:32 on 2010-07-13The thing which screams maturity the best is to have everyone swear all the time, and put blood and torture on every page. The ability to engage in traditionally adult themes while employing transgressive story elements such as bodily fluids, misogyny, and rape is the hallmark of an individual whose mind has progressed past puerile adolescent fascination. As you said, superheroes are so childish. We aren't writing stories about superheroes under a different name. These are adult stories about well rounded characters employing serious themes. Just like Terry Goodkind is definitely not a *pfft*

fantasy author.

Sarcasm over, I honestly don't remember if

Watchmen

used "mask." I guess I've just lost some comix-cred.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/O9dPXbw3peUAacFQM4aervEXf232TbhO0FE-#dcc46

at 13:13 on 2011-10-28Hey guys. I'm aware this is a few years old but just discovered the site and enjoying it, even when I disagree.

But this is the only one I think I needed to comment on.

Firstly, Garth Ennis is demonstrably not a hack. That's just incredibly lazy.

Secondly, this review seems to have totally failed to come to terms with the text.

OK. I'm not going to argue against certain points here. There's gross out humor, there's swearing, there's a hamster well-up in a zombie's bum. There's puke and disgusting, disgusting periods that no man should ever have to read about (cos girls, right! ew. The writer of this article agrees!) and there's even some blood and guts and a superhero orgy and someone strangles Scarlet Witch with a belt!

But.

The scene where poor old Annie, Starlight, has to service six members of the Seven to get in? It's awful. And a considerable part of the text is concerned not only with her coming to terms with the assault but (and how often to you see this?) actually come to terms with and starting to heal from the assault.

The two black teams who scream the N word at each other? There's no discussion of the young black man who is going to be forced into one of the teams who sees nothing he recognises of his experiences in tired mainstream hip hop lingo and posing. A man who has begun to understand that to become a superstar, he has to enter into a well-dodgy narrative.

No discussion of the good people warped into being celebrities and what that costs them, which is the central metaphor of the book.

Or the actual honesty when Hughie, who's never met a gay man but has to hang out in a gay club and suddenly finds his liberal sensibilities a bit overwhelmed. A scene that's never, ever played for cheap gay joke laughs.

The point of Hughie going down on a girl with a period is not that it's gross and his mates laugh at him. It's that he refuses to let something as dumb as that get in the way of his relationship with Annie. He cops some jokes and some pisstaking but then will not let the deathly embarrassed girl freak out over what turns out to be ... nothing at all.

In recent years, we've also seen a cheap man-on-man 'Dark Knight Returns' rape joke actually turns out to actually be a proper discussion on the reasons why a chap might not be able to discuss it with his friends. And what that cost him.

St Patrick's Day sucks? Surely an repatriated Northern Irishman who grew up in the Troubles has nothing to say about the immigrant experience to the United States. What a hack!

As for scoring political points off 9/11.... mate. Welcome to the world. I fail to even see an argument here.

I'm not going to say everyone should love The Boys. And sometimes I get a bit weary of schoolboys bleeding out of their arses and all the rest. And I think Ennis has made his point about religion by now. I do. (Spoiler alert: Preacher)

I like the comic but I don't expect everyone to be able to laugh like I do when the mentally ill Batman analogue has sex with a meteor.

So don't like it. That's cool. It's not like I'll gnash teeth if you don't like what I like. But this review has really failed to come to grips with and has actively misrepresented the text.

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Arthur B

at 13:32 on 2011-10-28Hi dcc46, welcome to Ferretbrain!

I've not read

The Boys

but I have read enough Ennis to at least address this point:

Firstly, Garth Ennis is demonstrably not a hack. That's just incredibly lazy.

You know what else is incredibly lazy? Basing your writing career so heavily on cheap shock tactics which come across like a 13 year old trying to be edgy. I couldn't get past the first volume of

Preacher

because Ennis' obsession with gore, fucking, and other scatological subjects just became intensely monotonous. His contributions to 2000 AD were much the same. His

Hellblazer

run started out brilliantly - I think

Dangerous Habits

is both the best thing he's written and the best

Hellblazer

story that

anyone

has written - but I couldn't abide the rest of it precisely because he kept falling back into bad habits.

When a man makes a career out of indulging his puerile instincts to an extent where consistently and repeatedly his material degenerates into lame attempts to be shocking for the sake of it, that's pretty hackish.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/O9dPXbw3peUAacFQM4aervEXf232TbhO0FE-#dcc46

at 13:51 on 2011-10-28Well, if that's all you've read of Hellblazer, that's cool. When he was, what, 21, he wrote that. There was a bit of a fall off in quality before he'd come back with stories of Kit and Ric the Vic and end up telling stories of the devil contrasted with the nasty realities of racial politics in early 90s London.

If you passed on Preacher, that's cool. That second story arc is uninspired. But you missed out on a a meditation of faith, friendship, watching a man try to navigate between his old-fashioned 'chivalry' and a woman who refused to be patronised or left behind.

So I honestly don't see shocking for shocking's sake. I see bad taste. But I've never felt there's a kind of splatter punk aesthetic at work.

That's sort of my point.

I see humour that may or may not work for you. But I'm suggesting to you that if you can get past the guts and jizz all over the shop. And if that's really a sticking point for you, then you won't ever get into it.

But I think your wrong if puerility is all you get out of the work.

I know you had issues with his early 2000AD run. I never got that. I'm Australian and 2000AD seemed to ship... on a madman's calendar. So I can't comment on that.

So I tell you what. Try something like his PG Hitman. His war stories, where he reigns himself in. His Punisher MAX, which is humorless as a Derek Raymond novel.

But I'll split you the difference: Jennifer Blood is fucking awful.

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https://me.yahoo.com/a/O9dPXbw3peUAacFQM4aervEXf232TbhO0FE-#dcc46

at 14:05 on 2011-10-28Anyways, I'm off.

But, a hack writer is a bad writer. Matt Reiley is a hack writer. He's bad at the English language, his plots are hackneyed, his haircut is stupid.

If you don't like Ennis' work, that's cool. But just because you think he wraps things up in grossness doesn't make him a bad writer -at all-. He's an accomplished writer with themes and metaphors and all that writery stuff.

Nevertheless, good site. Talk later.

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valse de la lune

at 16:00 on 2011-10-28

So don't like it. That's cool. It's not like I'll gnash teeth if you don't like what I like. But this review has really failed to come to grips with and has actively misrepresented the text.

How quaint; you appear to be gnashing your teeth exactly because Cyrus didn't like the thing. I also agree with Arthur's assessment of Ennis: overrated hack pandering to things teenage boys--usually teenage white boys at that, what with the n-word thing--find oh so edgy and clever.

Preacher

is absolutely fucking unreadable and I spit in its general direction.

And, while you can certainly use the word "hack" to denote a poor writer--which I'd argue Ennis

is

, at that--his general attitude and output are pretty hacky too, in the lowest-common-denominator sense.

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Rude Cyrus

at 20:31 on 2011-10-29Here's the thing: whatever good points or ideas Ennis may have are ruined by the juvenile shock tactics he wraps them in -- it's one thing to use violence and sex occasionally and for great effect, it's another to use them

all the time.

For example, I can agree with Ennis that St. Patrick's Day is an excuse for every American with a drop of Irish blood to wear green and get sick on beer, but when he ends this commentary on a close-up on a hat filled with puke, it makes me roll my eyes.

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Show / Hide Comments -- More in April 2009

[n1ghtw1ng-scp]

11: Your character will absolutely flip their lid if __________ happens.

13: Your character does ____ or avoids ____ because they associate it with having a good/bad day.

25: When put into X situation, your character is calm and collected and patient, while others may be anywhere from confused to panicking and screaming. Talk about X-Situation and why it means what it does to your character.

For both Night and Entity! @parables-for-days

Night

11: when a problem happens during a dimension jump, such as losing her powers or the ability to get back/contact her base dimension. somehow she always manages to get back in (relatively) one piece, but she HATES when it happens

13: every day she tries to get outside and fly for a couple minutes to clear her head/cheer her up. it works

25: if one of her friends gets abducted by some evil organization. she's been in that situation, she knows what to do, and the emotions she SHOULD feel about it are suppressed by amnestics so they don't get in the way.

Entity

11: existing as a parasite. "why are we here, just to suffer" type life. also when Night goes "absolutely NOT!!" to every thought he has. which happens a lot and is very annoying

13: they don't even bother with that kind of superstition stuff. Entity themself could even count as a "bad omen".

23: any situation that involves a lot of people dying. that's just their sorta element-

[bugcthulhu]

Spanish/Iberian mythical creatures: Lots of Bogeymen and other weirdos edition

Calzadilla Lizard: A crocodile-like beast that went around slaughtering entire flocks of sheep until a shepherd killed it by shooting its open throat with a magical shotgun. Its spirit cursed the shotgun to break on the spot so that it would never slay anything again

Patinga: A newt/salamander that is not only intensely poisonous but makes parts of one’s body disappear just by touching them

Lusitanian Dragon: Ocean-dwelling and snake-like, with green scales. A heraldric beast associated with Trebaruna, a pre-celtic goddess of home, battle, death and water currents

Machu Lanu: A bulky, shaggy, bipedal goat with enormous horns and a deformed human face. Can speak, but its voice is terrifyingly loud. 

Tiznau: Though considered a kind of goblin, it is gigantic in size, with black skin and clothes. Bad-tempered, controls the weather

Oiulari: Unseen being that announces its presence with a distant bellow. Answering back typically earns death by huge rock thrown at your direction. Leaves ten-fingered handprints on what it touches

 Deminyo: Small servile demon created by injecting a drop of blood on an egg laid by a black hen, then incubating the egg in a pile of dung. Causes terrible maladies by entering people’s bodies. Independent ones are known as “Demachinyos” and far more dangerous. Only a skilled witch can hope to control them

 Long-Teats Dog: Exactly what it sounds like. This obscene female canine appears at night and is considered an omen of death. Can imitate the sounds of other animals and transform into either crow or a wool yarn. Splits in two or three if struck.

 Ahari: A cave ram. Noted as being servants of Mari, (goddess of earth and consort of the evil dragon god Sugaar), who takes naps on their woolly bodies as pillows and spins with their horns

 Peeira: Feral nymphs that protect, live with, and usually lead packs of wolves. Sometimes said to have the power to cure lycanthropy

 Lehen: Benevolent sea serpent that guides lost sailors

 Etsai: Dragon of devilish disposition that teached science, arts and letters to whoever came to him, with the “payment” that at least one disciple would have to stay in his cave and serve him forever. Under him studied Atarrabi and Mikelatz, the rival sons of Mari and Sugaar

 Akerbeltz: A protector of animals that appears as a male black goat, kind-hearted despite his sinister appearance and possessing healing powers. The arrival of christianism lumped him with the devil and witch covens.

 Maruxaina: A sea nymph/mermaid with luminous eyes. Some tales have her as helpful and warning about incoming storms, but oftentimes she’s malicious, luring sailors towards her death. Her charming ability is such she can make raging whirlpools appear to her victims as calm waters.

 Mulachini Del Cielu: Baby-like beings with only one eye that play in storm clouds and throw lightning bolts

 Camunyes:  Extremely frightful, enormous and filthy bogeyman with shiny eyes, long skeletal claws and huge sharp teeth to gnaw bones with. Partly based on the popular figure of a guerrilla that terrorized French soldiers to avenge the unfair death of his brother.

 Carlanco: Hissing, nondescript goat-eating monster that appears in some fairy tales of Spain and Brazil in a similar vein to the Big Bad Wolf. Claims to have enough strength to tear apart mountains, but tends to be rather ineffective and easily thwarted.

 Jampon: Goblin that sneaks inside houses and eats all the food within

 Traganarru: Sea dragon with power over storms and waterspouts, sinks ships and devours whoever approaches the coast.

 Llufa: Wind spirit/fairy, invisible and silent. Stalks those they perceive as naïve to prank them and laugh at them

 Maru: Subterranean humanoids with two horns that kidnap people and cattle close to their domain

 Pericó: Tiny spirit associated with metal that grows into a giant of solid iron when exposed to fire, smashing all in its wake. Blacksmiths strike their anvils three times before work in order to keep it at bay

  Simanya: Female bogeyman of monstrous appearance and boundless appetite for human flesh, their lairs bursting with the bones of past victims. Frequent mountainous areas traditionally held as belonging to ogres

 Black Bubota: A ghost that takes the form of a black doll to frighten children

 Rabeno: Tall, thin humanoid with pale skin and a short tail. Though it watches over animals, it is a lascivious being that wanders towns to abduct women. Believed to spread leprosy and other severe skin diseases

 Trastolillo: A particularly restless goblin with horns and black fur, making a nuisance of itself on nearby houses and constantly snickering. Particularly fond of making terrible moans at night, startling families awake. Loves milk and might be bribed with it, but it’s just as likely to steal it.

 Manlleu Serpent: A huge snake sporting a hairy mane and a large diamond on its head. Slain by a child that stole the diamond while it was distracted and hid it in a mortar; Trying to get it back, the snake constricted the mortar over and over until it died of exhaustion

 Urco: A large dog with horns, long ears and clad in chains. Emerges from the sea at night, howling furiously.

 Tinyosa: A beautiful, transparent woman that appears in densely fogged areas. A child eater that “sucks” on prey until she eventually swallows it whole

 Aborteiro: Tiny insect that enters the bodies of pregnant women and does exactly what you think it does

 Grunyu: A dark, demonic beast with a guttural voice. Lives in caves by day, roams the forests at night. Hard to see, but if anyone walks past it they will be cursed on the spot and their personality will change for the worse

 Eate: Entity that embodies fire, floods and hurricanes. Incredibly destructive and merciless, but sometimes its fury can be directed by someone holding “rainbow grass”

 Fumera: Bogeyman with seven eyes (4 front, 3 in the back of the head) that appears on Christmas and keeps watch on children, taking away those that succumb to gluttony

 Cul Pelat: Ferocious being that appears in days of strong wind, using it to hide its presence and kidnap children. For some reason its name translates to “Shaved Butt”

 Pollastre: A bogeyman in the form of a foul-tempered rooster that eats the legs off naughty children

 Bofarull: Small demon/goblin that appears within and controls whirlwinds

 Maridillo: “Little hubby”. A multi-colored toad, either velvety in texture or actually wearing small clothes, given to witches as a familiar. Constantly demands food, but also vomits a stinking, black-green liquid useful for poisons and spells

 Cuine: Red-and-white gnomes that live in trees or burrows in fields, watching over children. Rather than talk, they either whistle melodiously or squeal like piglets

 Cazamentides: A really tall bogeyman with iron arms and hooks for fingers. Knows when children have told a lie, and snatches them by the dozen to eat them at sea.

 Currucuca: A bogeyman best described as a disgusting mound of hair. So hairy, in fact, it keeps tripping over itself

 Momerota: Beast between bull and horse that launches fireworks from its horns. Chases after people, but is in turn killed for its wine-like blood.

 En Micó: A spirit of brine that turns everything it touches into salt, living beings included

 Bilbiana: Half-woman, half-otter bogeyman. Takes beating her with wooden clubs to drive her away.

 Ceocrobol: Strange beings described as riding enormous birds covered in grass that they feed upon, and thus rarely touch the ground

 Goja:  Water nymphs sometimes shown with dragonfly wings. Their ethereal clothes grant good luck and prosperity to the owner, but get caught stealing them and you’ll be turned to stone. Known to marry mortals now and then: end up vanishing forever the moment their significant others blurt out their true nature

 Mascard Bull: Black and wreathed in flames, runs around mountains.

 Furtaperas: A grotesque, humanoid bogeyman that actually craves pears above all things, only turning to children if it can’t find any

 Peladits: A tall, thin ogre covered in black hair that controls armies of lice.

 Marmajor: Mountain-dwelling bogeyman apparently so good at what it does it is ALWAYS encountered gnawing on children, and carries so many upon its back it leaves a trail of wounded toddlers in its wake.

 Trubinco: Goblin that enters houses and makes a mess of things unless the owners offer them their favourite toy: A pinecone slathered in tar

 Malacosa: Black, pointy-headed being of great size that does nothing but follow people anywhere they go, even waiting outside if they take shelter

 Gops: Extremely violent giants that not only prey on humans but also their own dead and wounded. Have disgustingly matted hair, long beards growing out of their nose, and a single fang

 Taranganyo: Goblins that enter the bodies of children and give them rickets.

 Peirot: Bogeyman that appears monstrously bloated from all the children its swallowed. Constantly dancing

 Carpia: A ghostly bird that brings bad luck, sometimes appears as a thin, wrinkled hag

 Drago: Enormous, has a human-like head an arms but the body of a snake or basilisk. Enslaved an entire region, threatening the locals via terrible bellows to feed its bottomless hunger. After having devoured all the cattle they had to offer, it went on to consume every last human in the vicinity. Beyond that its ultimate fate is unclear: some say it starved to death, where others claim it left to Africa.

 Moixina: Female bogeyman that stalked water springs. Some describe it as a beautiful nymph, while others claim it’s some kind of cat-like animal

Seven-Headed Cuca: Bogeyman that might be either a giant worm, or a dragon