#bad girl's bible
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lads it is mostly my fault (was sick, didn't tell healthcare until it was Dire, was sentenced to bed rest for the rest of my time at camp) that I literally can't say goodbye to these 100+ people I've come to love properly before I leave. I'm not permitted to participate in any singing, dancing, communal joy, any event that's remotely fun (that's nearly word for word what they said) here at camp. and I'm leaving EARLY, am still miserably sick, and have a four hour commute back home on top of that, because there's no one available to drive. literally cried my eyes out over everything just now and am This Close to crying my eyes out againnnnn
#not to list my woes again but today was Pretty Bad#the horrors: learned that one of the girls I'm working with is the cousin of the boy whom I was so torn up over last year (lol)#received a message from the second boy I was torn up over in the spring saying: do you want to live together? (LOL)#and was hit with the two-by-four of reality today about my own Delusions and such repeatedly over the head. over and over and over LOLLLL !#HOWEVER. the joys: tea. Bible reading time. lots of prayer. laughed a lot with my coworkers.#confided in a friend whom i know can hold secrets close. listened to another friend's voice message on loop. the rain made it not too hot.#i know joy cometh in the metaphorical morning but i wanted joy to come in the form of dancing and singing and worshipping together#and being able to tell each and every person goodbye properly and with the gravity and love they each deserve#i simply!!!!! cannae take this!!!!!! and yet I WILL :'))))))))) bear it with grace#(THAT'S dramatic)#sighhhh anyhow i'm currently mentally digging a little grave for the third disappointment in love i've experienced#since breaking up with my ex boyfriend. the ground is hard my hands are tired and the earth won't budge but i WILL dig that grave#and leave that little ill-formed ill-judged ill-managed love in it#dang i'm tired in all senses of the word!#and YET. there is still a part of me that is light and buoyant and determined to make the most of things#it is so hard to be miserable when the anneish part of you never dies.........sigh#healing girl era summer '24
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Pride is full of evangelicals that tell queer they want to save us. I know we have plenty of those idiots around these parts but they usually don't talk to you. And this is the first time I see them at a Pride event. There were so many, I kept being offered pamplets and chick tracks. I wish I could stay calm but I told several people to fuck off.
#One of those groups even had a big stall next to parties campaigning for the EU election.#CDU only had a stall for EU center/left ones had stalls for pride#And the CDU guy didn't get I didn't want to talk to some right wing reactionaries.#i am so angry. i really can't keep my cool around those people. i am fuming. i was going to go home soon anyway but now i went home in#anger and in a bad mood.#1.30 h until my silly gay show#wandee goodday save me#i thankfully didn't grow about around religion and religious homophobia#its not somehting i encounter personally even though it is something i spend a lot of time reading about since i find christian#fundamentalism and the evangelical movement fascinating#i could talk about girl defined for hourd on end#but encountering them at pride hits different#i at least witnessed one guy with a bible being told by a police officer that yes he can stand around but he is not to bother people#meins
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Sometimes I’m normal and I’m fine. But then I’m like umm… “Nathanael from The chosen”(?) And then nothing is fine with me I guess.
#help#i am not proud of this#don’t blame me#he’s kinda fine tho#idk#im okay#*crying*#i’m bad at tagging#lol#the chosen series#the chosen#the chosen tv series#so idk#the disciples#christian girl#christian problems#christianity#Bible
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Not even in the mood to swap accounts but my mom is talking to my grandma & they where talking about Trump & Kamala & then they talked about someone who supports Kamala & my grandma was like “He used to be a big Trump supporter until his daughter came out of the closet. He should’ve shoved her back into the closet is what he should’ve don’t but he didn’t & instead supported her. You can’t fix anyone by supporting them.”
Yeah, I’m not coming out.
/ooc
#I came out to my mom as lesbian once & she just said “You don’t know yet” but it wasn’t THAT bad#Then my Bible teacher told her I was questioning omnisexual (I told her to tell my mom) & my mom wasn’t OKAYYY with me being gay but at#least she understood that she couldn’t “fix” me.#One thing I’ve learned while being queer & neurodivergent is that everyone wants to “fix” you. They need to fix themselves before they try#to “fix” you.#I love y’all in my rp group though because I feel so safe with y’all🫶🏽#A couple days ago I told Zach my whole identity & he was SO happy for me & I just love the safe community we have here💞#Nev even made sure I was okay with being called “Girl”/“Girly” & I love that AAAAA💕#Tumblr has became my safe space#Love y’all so much it’s not even funny💕💕💗💗💞💞
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i'm thinking. abt. my ocs.
i keep noticing that devil's double has very much way too many dudes in the cast (and also calico, as well as bel & rem, who have one gender they share between them) whereas starlight wishes is exclusively women and one lizard. which represents what eras of Me i made those settings in but is also really funny.
#feli speaks#Feli's OCs#i'm more thinking abt the devil's double guys i need to revamp starlight wishes so bad#those two being the same universe is really funny though. guys trying to stop the Devil from Da Bible and two girls having a kirby adventure#which shows that the starlight wishes crew literally started as kirby ocs. which may be blatantly obvious from the story being called.#well. starlight wishes.
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sad because i have so many fun asks to answer but my boss is expecting me to work at my job??
#pls don’t you know i have to talk nonsense on my tumblr blog??#and read the ravinstill bible that abyssal has presented us???#lily rambles#bad time to be a busy girl 😔
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I watched a clip of hazbin hotel on tiktok and I am so sorry for being a hater but why does it look Like That. girl it's ugly
#it's not only the art style and character design but also the animation. idk it looks Bad#i remember i watched the first episode when it came out on youtube in like 2018 or whatever and i liked it#because as we all know i'm a sucker for edgy shit and tangentially bible related stuff#but even though the youtube episode was animated by like one person i liked it better than what i saw now#i was thinking about trying to watch it because i heard snippets of songs and liked them but honestly i can't take anything serious#with the characters looking and moving Like That. girl WHAT is that#rayrambles
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some byIers be like "well, yeah everyone in hawkins from kids to teens to adults knew that will was gay and called him all sorts of slurs and made fun of his clothes and laughed at him but that's just because they had secret knowledge bestowed upon them by a higher power or something about him being gay. clearly it wasn't because will is visibly gay and does not act like other boys (aka is gnc) or fit in with them aside from his party who are also outcasts for different reasons. everyone knew that he was gay even though will has never tried or done anything with another boy, and it has NOTHING to do with how we're told in many ways that he does not act like, dress like, or like the same things as everyone else in literally under the first twenty minutes of this show. will is our conforming #hypermasc king who isn't ever scared of anything, has never needed to be saved (and definitely not repeatedly), never cries, never gets called slurs aimed at feminine men, is on par with hopper when it comes to being a manly macho all american man, and would fight anyone and everyone with pure ice in his veins. fuck you if you call him sensitive or acknowledge that he runs away and hides when confronted with danger bc obviously being scared and fighting in any not offensive&aggressive way is Bad and Emasculating and something to be Ashamed of. embracing will's canon traits is Bad and instead acting exactly like lonnie does is Good and makes you an exemplary ally btw. so is taking everything about will and plastering it onto mike instead somehow for mental gymnastics reasons that i will never explain to you bc i know it's dumb."
and somehow..... i'm supposed to respect some of u and ur opinions? 🤨
#rmr when i said tht will gets scared easily n is often scared and ppl got mad at me.#or when i repeated exactly what joyce said to hopper and ppl got mad.#or when i pointed out what the st bible says and people got mad.#or when i pointed out tht will never fired his gun. how he never chooses violence until it's his only option left. how mike is the one that#swoops in to protect and save him and he moves behind him. and so on and so forth.#and how that's all okay and there's nothing inherently bad or shameful in that.#but somehow THAT'S the Bad opinion. even though it isn't an opinion; it's literally just canon#and you can go and see it for yourself right now if you want lmao.#like.............. naurrrrrrrr idc girl i don't have amnesia or suffer from memory loss and also i actually#like this show n the characters how they are and wouldn't change them at all. not even s3 mike#LMAO#but anyway.
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had a conversation about religion with the Theatre Boy yesterday in which I admitted, possibly for the first time, that despite my Christian faith and belief in Heaven and Hell, I kind of wish I DIDN'T believe in that stuff, that I could just believe our consciousness ceases to exist once we die, because I'm scared of the concept of Eternity
#does this make me a bad Christian or heretic or blasphemous or something bc holy heck it scares me to think about#the fact that I ADMITTED THAT. OUT LOUD.#also the boy said he doesn't believe in the Bible bc he thinks the scientific evidence doesn't support it#meanwhile I'm over here rubbing my hands together mentally preparing my apologetics ramble sksjfskfnsknf#like boy I am the exact wrong girl or perhaps the right one to hang out with bc I can debate that til the cows come home#anyway. I need to STOP mentally replaying the whole conversation yesterday + my second guessing and such#and just relax for a bit. I'm eating goat cheese and crackers and listening to the new ed sheeran album bc my SIL likes it#and hopefully I can shut the anxiety off for a while. ugh.#Lu rambles
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Someone remind me sometime to post my essay about the way people talk about Henry VIII
#i’m a disability studies major#and one of the most common topics of conversation in dis studs#is the relationship between disability and villains#and that people with disabilities are often made out to be villains#but villains are also made out to have disabilities#because disability is a manifestation of inner evil#shakespeare famously did this with r3#but it’s an idea that goes back pretty much to the bible#and this idea is so ingrained in our culture we do it withiut thinking#and people absolutely do this with h8#calling him a monster…guess what?#that’s a manifestation of this idea#harping on about his weight and using ‘fat’ as a perjorative?#that’s also a manifestation of this#for people that don’t like h8; it’s not enough for him to have just done bad things#he also has to be grotesque and deformed because that just proves how evil he really was#it’s funny the number of times people have talked about h8 in this way to me#and i’m like…girl if only you knew that i’m a disabled person whose academic career is literally dedicated to this very subject#and you’re just feeding me even more evidence that proves my point#but i digress…#henry viii#also don’t even get me started on the people who have gotten mad at me for saying h8 was disabled#because as well as people who villainize disability#there are also people that sanctify it#and think that all disabled people are perfect little angels who can do no wrong#(the overwhelming message you get from doing disability studies is that people’s attitudes on disability are just fucking WEIRD#and why can’t anyone just be NORMAL)#disability#disability studies#i wonder how many people actually read the tags…
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He's not praying for you anymore.
#i love that pay off#from earlier in the movie#when he pulled out the bible#instead of a gun#too bad he got shot right after#he probably should have been faster#oh well#still he's looking fine as hell#like goddamn#he's looking like a snack and a half#didi chill lol#girl stop#reverend leland drury#leland drury#white fang 2#my sweet alfredo#my heart#❤️❤️❤️❤️#alfred molina
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guess i got kinda lucky in retrospect not having any bad personal experiences w christianity. like it rlly is just like a cool thing i did as a kid and thats it
#OH forgot to say i was also in brownies/guides which isssss. um. apparently not rlly religious...? at least anymore?#but mine definitely was. more so even than my school which WAS a cofe school#idk what exactly but we went to church and there was posters of jesus everywhere and bible quotes#fuckkkk brownies and guides btw that shit sucked. wanted to die every day i went there#the one i went to 90% of the girls went to the school in the town so i was left out soooo bad. like worse than normal#cus it was group activitiesssssss#fuck that shit. school was cool tho it ruled.#like i say it was rlly not that big outside of daily worship and prayer and stuff.#like you wld have a half hour assembly or whatever and sing some songs and say a couple prayers and listen to a story and move on. sick#i loved it so much when i was in yr 6 i got to be the person who set up the computer and got all the songs queued up for assembly#which is crazy btw. i was ten. how did i do that#anyway
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I downloaded that horrible dammed whisper app just to make this (may God forgive userDaddddy 45+ for trying and rizzing me up…)
#idk#lol#whispers#whisper girl#the chosen#the chosen memes#christian memes#christian faith#christianity#Bible#mary magdalene#the chosen season 2#christian girl#i’m bad at tagging
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teen idle by marina is that song that zips me back to being 16 💀 it just came on shuffle ouch ouch
#like i don’t have many songs like that but i kind of cringe even tho the song is good#like i thought i related so bad when all the stuff electra heart describes was SO far removed from my situation lmao pls#girl u were not burning up bibles the worst u did was throw a free bible into the bin that was thrust upon u by the uni christian society ☠️#personal
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Tanakh teachers will go "This is one of the most moral people in our history and he was so Tzadik and he's such a role model and we should remember everyone makes mistakes so really how bad were the things he did in retrospect when we look at how good a person he was and how morally correct he was in general and we should proceed about this specific story with caution and not disrespect him because he's a holy figure and how dare you say something bad about him" then tell you how said he killed a woman's husband to be with her after watching her bathe and sleeping with her or how the other he hunted a teenager for sport because the people praised him more and tried killing him while he was playing the harp for him
#“girls listen. this us a very serious subject. David can do no wrong. However he was a horrible human being buttt you can't criticize it.”#-literally how my teacher taught us about King David and Bat Sheva#on a judaism kick lately sorryyyyy#judaism#bible#tanakh#king david#david#shaul#king saul#bat sheva#guys he never did anything bad but murder this one woman's husband guyssss#the og “but he's my poor little meow meow”#your honor it balances out with his good deeds so it's fine#hate it#king shaul
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I'm not loving pachinko so much...like this christian minister arriving and deciding to Save This Poor Pregnant Woman by bestowing the gift of marriage upon her...in a specifically christian way too...it just feels nasty
#at least he's not white...#man but I can't stand these long bible discussions 😭 please I got enoigh of this already#cant believe wuthering heights had a better resolution to the trapped teenage girl in a bad situation plot#cor reads
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