#bad buddy commercial locations

[telomeke-bbs]

BAD BUDDY FILMING LOCATIONS 6

This post continues my five previous ones (linked here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5) on filming locations for Bad Buddy. This instalment is loosely about F&B and commercial locations.

One of the filming locations I had thought would be impossible to find was the wonton noodle stall, because it looked so much like an authentic street vendor set-up (and if that were true, looking for it would really have been a haystack-needle quest given that there are more than half a million street vendors in Bangkok, according to this article linked here).

(top) Ep.10 [3I4] 11.50; (bottom) Ep.5 [1I4] 9.20

I thought they had commandeered an actual stall because the attention to detail was just insane:

There's steam rising off that stove (see Ep.5 [1I4] 9.20);

That white Suzuki van is all kitted out with lanterns, Chinese decorations and branding stickers;

There are condiment bottles in baskets on every table and at the ordering counter too;

There is a large menu board that not only has dishes, prices and photos of what's on sale – they also canceled out two items to make it look like they're no longer available (which happens all the time in real life – when something is sold out/not saleable and is removed from the menu).

But I should have known better – because it's all artifice. The wonton loong is also an actor (he was the ice-cream vendor in My Engineer, and can be seen in that series on YouTube at Ep.7 [3I4] 0.16) and the whole stall was set up at the open forecourt of Building 7 (the RSU Library) at Rangsit University (RSU).

The following image of RSU Building 7's forecourt is from Google Street View:

These are the corroborating details in Bad Buddy, with reference to the image above:

The pink RSU Building 7 sign can be seen at Ep.7 [3I4] 3.56, Ep.7 [3I4] 4.47 and Ep.10 [3I4] 11.50;

At the far left you can see the white picket fence palings that are visible behind Ink at Ep.7 [3I4] 5.10;

The little frangipani tree in a dragon urn with a rusted white-frame impact guard all around it (between the tree on the left and the pink RSU Building 7 sign) can also be seen at Ep.7 [3I4] 3.56, Ep.7 [3I4] 4.47 and Ep.7 [3I4] 4.52;

The red-brown ramp with black railings, as well as the banana trees to the right, can be seen in BBS at Ep.3 [1I4] 6.10 and Ep.5 [1I4] 9.51;

The distinctive black and white rainwater spouts at the parapet above the round columns of the white single-story block can be seen behind the vendor van at Ep.3 [1I4] 6.08 and Ep.5 [1I4] 9.06.

Opposite the RSU Library is Building 11:

(above) This image of RSU Building 11 is from Google Street View

RSU Building 11 can also be seen in the background of some scenes at the wonton noodle stall. The following are some more corroborating details in BBS:

The poster on the left (with the slogan "Let's Go Global") is just visible at Ep.7 [3I4] 3.56 and Ep.10 [3I4] 11.50;

The glass façade with its spider clamps, as well as these elements behind it – the wide, white staircase, the round metal-clad column flanked by flags of different countries (Japan, India, USA, Canada, Brunei, Turkey, Indonesia, and Bangladesh) – are visible in BBS at Ep.7 [3I4] 3.56, Ep.7 [3I4] 4.47 and Ep.10 [3I4] 11.50.

For some reason, when I saw this building in BBS it looked like a car dealership to me, and that led me further astray in the hunt to track the location down. 🤷‍♂️ But it was RSU Library's pink signboard that finally pointed me in the right direction.

Although the wonton noodle stall wasn't a real one, the next few locations are actual F&B/commercial establishments. A number of these were easy to find because they're acknowledged in the closing credits, and the buildings they are in were also used as establishing shots – these buildings are The Promenade Mall (587,589 589/7-9 Ram Inthra Road, Khan Na Yao, Bangkok 10230, Thailand) and Fashion Island Mall (Ram Inthra Road, Khan Na Yao, Bangkok 10230, Thailand):

(top) The Promenade (Ep.8 [2/4] 0.17); (bottom) Fashion Island (Ep.10 [3I4] 17.53)

The Promenade and Fashion Island are connected by a covered skybridge that crosses the road separating them – it's really a corridor in the sky and brings the two together into one giant shopping destination.

(above) The corridor in the sky connecting Fashion Island and The Promenade (image from Google Street View off Google Maps)

A must-see location here is the dessert café where Pat had his disaster date with Ink, and it is in reality Gram Café and Pancakes on Level 2 of The Promenade:

(above) This image is from The Promenade's website (linked here) and is a match for Ep.5 [2/4] 1.42 (InkPat's disaster date), Ep.5 [2/4] 5.04 (Ink feeding Pa in front of the sign that says "I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU I LOVE YOU – I FED YOU PANCAKE") and Ep.5 [2/4] 9.46 (Pran catching sight of Ink and Pat at the café)

(above) Ep.5 [2/4] 5.03

Even if you're not a Bad Buddy fan, the fluffy pancakes served in this Japanese chain are legendary and should soothe any dessert-hungry traveler (Gram is so popular it now has outlets all across Southeast Asia and in Australia as well).

The other F&B establishment at The Promenade that was also featured in BBS is Shuushabu, and it was the locale for Ink and Pa's clumsy shabu-shabu meal (starting at Ep.8 [2/4] 0.21), as well as the setting for Pat's dream date with Pran coming true (at Ep.10 [3I4] 17.57 – which was the realization of the wish he made at Ep.8 [2/4] 3.39: "I want to go out and have a hot pot with you" 💖).

(above) This image of Shuushabu is from The Promenade's website (linked here) – Pat and Pran had the first table next to the door, right up front; Ink and Pa's table was further inside, facing the blackboard at the back

Shuushabu's Facebook (linked here) also has this: 😍

Across the bridge from The Promenade, tucked away inside the gargantuan commercial behemoth that is Fashion Island, is the one BBS shop setting here that isn't F&B – Vee Music, on Level 3 of the mall. Vee Music represented PatPran's favorite music store (seen in BBS at Ep.3 [3I4] 2.12 and Ep.5 [2/4] 5.13):

(above) This image dated 1 September 2021 is from Vee Music's Facebook (linked here); corroborating details are the framed chainlink support for the LED signage that says "Fender", the horizontal paneling on the right and left walls (beechwood on one side, pale gray on the other), the white ceiling tracklights at the front of the store, and the illuminated signboard of the Sizzler restaurant opposite, that is reflected below the "Fender" signage

(above) Ep.3 [3I4] 2.55

For a closer look around the interior of Vee Music, check out this video posted by Audy Thailand on YouTube (the signboard outside is different because the video is from three years ago, but the interior looks largely the same):

The last BBS location within the confines of Fashion Island/The Promenade isn't strictly speaking an F&B or commercial establishment, but I'm including it here because it's still mall-based. It's the corridor where PatPran had their confrontation with Ming after they shopped for groceries following their hot pot meal (Ep.10 [4/4] 0.22):

The sign that says "Momoko" (visible in the image above) was the clue to pinpointing this location on plan – it's for the Momoko Bag and Shoe Spa at Level 1 of The Promenade, meaning that this location is the walkway connecting to the car park from Main Street East, just after the corridor turnoff to the toilets:

(above) This plan graphic was adapted from The Promenade's website, linked here

The next location takes us back to Rangsit University (where the academic scenes were filmed). It's Hokkaido Coffee at the RSU Student Center:

(top) The location of Hokkaido Coffee on plan; (middle) this photo taken by วิษณุ วรรณแสวง and dated April 2019 is from Google Maps (linked here) – corroborating details are the standee (seen in BBS behind Pran at Ep.4 [1I4] 16.45) as well as the teapot sticker on the glass door (Ep.4 [1I4] 16.56); (bottom) this interior view dated 4 May 2019 is on Hokkaido Coffee's Facebook (linked here) – the mirror at the back, the Japanese-inspired mezzanine balustrading, the green text "Hokkaido Coffee" below the curved display case, and the artwork on the walls are all matching details

This is the café where Pran saw Ink buying Pat iced milk tea (Ep.4 [1I4] 16.56), where he discussed Pat's charges of gun possession with Wai, Safe and Louis (Ep.9 [4/4] 2.47), and where Ink bought dessert for Pa and her friends (Ep.10 [1I4] 16.59):

(top left) Ep.4 [1I4] 16.45; (top right) Ep.4 [1I4] 16.56; (bottom left) Ep.9 [4/4] 2.57; (bottom right) Ep.10 [1I4] 17.24

We all know that Ink's rendezvous with Pat at Hokkaido Coffee triggered Pran's memory of buying iced milk tea for Pat in high school (Ep.4 [2/4] 0.35). That flashback scene was filmed at the canteen of the Satit Bilingual School (SBS), also on Rangsit University's campus:

(above) The SBS canteen is at the first storey of this block, seen here in an image from Google Street View dated January 2022

Zooming in, you can just make out the back of the Smoothie Shake stall where teen Pran bought iced milk tea for teen Pat (although why a smoothie stall should be selling Thai iced milk tea is beyond me 😂):

(top left) Google Street View, zoomed in; (top right) this image is an old photo from the SBS Facebook (linked here) – the name of the stall is different probably because this image dates from 1 September 2012; (bottom) Ep.4 [2/4] 0.46

The staircase next to the stall is also the one that we see Pat walking up as he calls out to Pran (at Ep.4 [2/4] 0.47). Corroborating details are the vivid orange paneling and black steel framing at the stalls. I can't find a more recent image but there are a fair number of photos with other matching details on the SBS Facebook (linked here).

The university counterpart to the SBS canteen is the RSU Student Center Food Court – and this was the setting for several scenes in BBS: Ep.2 [1I4] 6.04 (Pat and Pran hustling their friend groups away from each other), Ep.3 [4/4] 2.36 (the Archi boys discussing funding to rebuild the bus stop), and Ep.10 [1I4] 13.53 (WaiKorn's wedding – see this link here for an explanation – and the post-wedding discussion about Wai's crush on Pa).

(top left) This image is extracted from a video dated May 2022 by Liu Tangyuyang on Google Maps (linked here) – the poster with a coffee cup below the counter can be seen in BBS at Ep.3 [4/4] 2.57 behind Wai, and the signboard saying "Koffee" can be glimpsed at Ep.10 [1I4] 15.17 behind Pran; (top right) Ep.10 [1I4] 16.51; (bottom left) this image is extracted from a YouTube video ("RIC" Uni Tour 2021, linked here, timestamp 5.50); (bottom right) Ep.2 [1I4] 6.06

There is one more F&B location on the RSU campus that can be seen in BBS, but I can't find corroborating images for it online – this is U Café, and it was in the background of Pat, Pran and Wai’s fight at the base of their student apartment building (Ep.5 [4/4] 1.59), as well as the scene where Pa says to Ink "Anyone taller than me is fine" (Ep.9 [2/4] 3.04).

Google Maps has some images, but they are old (dating to November 2016) and except for the U Café logo they really don't match what we see in the scene beginning at Ep.9 [2/4] 2.13.

(top left) This image of the U Café box signage is from Google Maps (linked here) and it dates from November 2016 – although the logo matches what we see in BBS, the box sign and other details don't; (top right) Ep.5 [4/4] 2.03; (bottom) Ep.9 [2/4] 3.37

Google Maps suggests that U Café is situated at the RSU Faculty of Art and Design (not the College of Engineering as I'd previously thought), but I haven't been able to find enough information to ascertain this and pinpoint a location. If anyone is visiting Rangsit University, do have a look around and let me know if you find anything! 💖

Afterpost Edit: OK, so based on some feedback from @tiistirtipii who went BBS location-spotting in Thailand (thanks dearie! 💖) and after more searching on the Internet, I'm pretty certain of where this location is. U Café is no longer there, but the location of Pat, Pran and Wai's altercation, as well as Pa's height-themed flirty come-on to Ink, is at the end of the road where Pat and Pa drop Pran off after rescuing him from being beaten up by Korn, Mo and Chang (see Ep.1 [3‌/4] 2.05):

(top) The probable location of where U Café used to be on the map; (middle) a zoomed-in screenshot from Google Street View of the location, viewed from 13°57'54.4"N 100°35'08.8"E; (bottom) a screenshot of Bad Buddy Ep.5 [4/4] 2.07 that has matching details

In the Google Street View screenshot above (apologies for the blurriness) you can just make out the air-conditioning condensers mounted between the windows above and a stretch of brick wall lower down, the dark gray doors below the café counter, and the large white uPVC rain water downpipes that bend horizontally to avoid the edge of the floor slab and enter the underground drain one step below – these are all corroborating details visible in BBS at Ep.5 [4/4] 2.07. 👍

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The last location for this post (that I've not previously written-up) is food retail but not dining F&B – it's the market where PatPran went shopping for ingredients during the Archi Volunteer Camp, and this was Chatchai Market in Hua Hin, along Petchkasem Road:

(above) Ep.6 [3I4] 3.19

(top) This image of Chatchai Market is from the Tourism Thailand website (linked here); (bottom) this photo of the interior, dated December 2020, was taken by Poomjit Sirawongprasert and is from Google Maps (linked here)

(above) This image is a screencap from the Behind-the-Scenes video at timestamp 0.01 (linked here) – the telephone number on the stall sign at the top left of the image is a match for the number in the image off Google Maps above, and helps to corroborate the location (it's for a dried seafood stall in the market: ร้านเข็มทองของแห้ง by โอ๋")

(top) At timestamp 0.08 in the same Behind-the-Scenes video linked above, we can see Ohm and Director Backaof waiting for Nanon outside Chatchai Market (one of its exits leads to this road – Hua Hin 72); (bottom) this image is from Google Street View at the same road (Hua Hin 72) – the shops are a match for what we see behind Ohm and Director Backaof

So aside from the above, there are actually three other F&B locations that I've already mentioned in previous write-ups. There's no point re-writing them up here, but if you're interested to read more –they're the Jae Si Curry House (actually Nabnuer Meat & Co. Steakhouse at Ek Thaksin Road in Rangsit; write-up linked here), the iced milk tea stall at Pat's faculty (write-up linked here) and the café at Pran's faculty where the Archi gang discussed Pat's gift of khanom thong yod (actually Decons Café at the RSU Faculty of Architecture Building; write-up linked here).

Whew! That's about it for this long post. 😊 But if you're wondering why I grouped all these F&B/commercial locations together in this one monster write-up, I did have a particular reason in mind.

Any BBS fans traveling to Thailand might find it fun to visit the filming locations – but for non-fans the experience could be rather boring if they hadn't watched the series.

F&B/commercial locations, however, should still be reasonably interesting (hopefully) to any dragged-along travel companions. Even if they aren't into BBS as much as we are, they might still enjoy themselves patronizing these places as customers, if not as fans. (OK, this wouldn't apply to the noodle stall location or the canteens, but you can't win 'em all. 🤷‍♂️)

Well I'm hoping this holds true anyway, and I'm also thinking of my own traveling companions in the future here. Heh. 😜💖

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[Afterpost Edit – here are the links to all the filming location posts:

Part 1 – The legendary rooftop, PatPran’s student apartments, their high school, the white arches behind the Engineering Canteen, the Zero Waste Village and various seaside scenes, their honeymoon suite, the hospital where Pat was treated for his gunshot graze, and the high school reunion.

Part 2 – Pat and Pran’s family homes, the Flagpole Bar, the car park fight location, and the Jae Si Curry House.

Part 3 – Various locations at and around the rugby field, including Pat’s photoshoot with Ink, the rugby bleachers, the iced milk tea (and green tea wave) picnic table, InkPa’s photography picnic, the old bus stop and the new bus stop. Also Khun Noppharnach’s pharmacy.

Part 4 – Pat’s Engineering Faculty (in and around Rangsit University’s College of Engineering).

Part 5 – Pran’s Architecture Faculty (Rangsity University’s School of Architecture).

Part 6 – Various F&B and commercial locations (eateries, shops, malls and a market). Also the setting for Pat, Pran and Wai’s fight at the base of PatPran’s student apartment building, as well as the scene where Pa says to Ink "Anyone taller than me is fine".

Part 7 – Pat’s post-graduation apartment and Pran’s residence in Singapore.

Part 8 – Various campus locations filmed within Rangsit University’s Digital Multimedia Complex, including the auditorium and the Freshy Day Song Contest.

Part 9 – The LogTech Building and Pran’s architectural office in Singapore.

Part 10 – Locations for the Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy special episodes.

Part 11 – The apartment for rent that Pran went to view in Ep.2, the elevator scene with Pat just after the viewing, and Wai’s apartment.

Part 12 – PatPran’s elementary and high schools, as well as the location of Pa’s near-drowning.

Part 13 – Random locations (Pran searching for his lost earphones, the covered car park where Wai spied on Pat serenading Pran with Nanon's Love Score, the airport car park, the SouthTech U Library, PatPran's rainy day ointment interlude, their motorbike and truck rides in Hua Hin, the approach road to Uncle Yod's bar, the filming location for the music videos Just Friend? and Our Song, and Pran's street address in Singapore).

Will update this list if I can track down the hardware stores – the one remaining location still unidentified! 🤣]

[mh258258-blog]

Navigating Residential Property Acquiring with a Buyer’s Agent in Perth

We Aid You Reveal Perth's Hidden Building Gems

Aiming to buy investment grade properties in Perth? Let’s admit it: the quest can be exhausting.

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A Little Story

Photo yourself sitting at your desk, scrolling via property listings on your laptop computer. Every option you stumble upon claims to be the best financial investment opportunity. The glut of choices leaves you feeling even more baffled than ever.

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The Power of Experience

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I when had a client that was definitely taken with a home. Theoretically, it felt like a desire.

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The Actual Cost of a Buyer's Agent

Ever really felt that gut-wrenching concern of sinking your money right into a residential property black hole? We've all heard the horror tales. People who believed they struck financial investment gold. Just to understand they've plunked down their money for a money pit.

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Why It's So Important to Pick the Right Qualities

The annual returns on an investment residential or commercial property can significantly affect your long-lasting riches. Put simply, the better the investment possibility, the higher its future value.

Let's simplify with some real figures. Envision you purchase a building valued at $750,000. Right here's a peek at just how that investment could examine thirty years, based upon various development prices:

Yearly Growth Above Rising Cost Of Living

Projected Worth In thirty years

1%

$1,010,886

2%

$1,358,521

3%

$1,820,446

4%

$2,432,548

5%

$3,241,456

6%

$4,307,618

Notification the difference? Simply a little bump in growth can mean a LOT even more money for you.

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Picking Buyers Agent in Perth

To locate a fantastic customer's agent in Perth, ask somebody you rely on for a recommendation. Sure, you can review evaluations on LinkedIn and Google. Yet truthfully, nothing contrasts to a recommendation from a person you know.

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Do They Have Their Own Financial Investment Residential Or Commercial Property Profile? Check if they have actually got skin in the game. You want an agent who does not simply talk the talk yet strolls the walk. Somebody who's invested their very own cash is in a much better setting to offer guidance.

Are They Well-Connected? An agent with a Rolodex rupturing with links can uncover juicy, not-yet-on-the-market offers. And trust me, those networks don't turn up over night. So, go for a pro with a years (or even more) of networking magic.

Is Your Expert Your Main Point of Call? Huge firms may reel you in with their star gamer, just to pass the sphere to the novice. Make certain your main point of contact isn't changing mid-game. You desire the MVP from beginning to end.

Is Your Consultant Solely A Purchaser's Agent? Be cautious of representatives who flip-flop in between trading. You require a committed customer's agent, not a person juggling numerous hats and playing both sides.

What Do Previous Clients State About Them? Dive deep right into comments from previous customers.Were they responsive? Did they feel supported? Were there any kind of hiccups?

What Are Your Impressions of the Agent? Trust fund your reactions. Keep in mind, you're not just making a deal; you're constructing a partnership. If something feels off, it most likely is.

Hyper-Local Knowledge Trumps General Know-How

Considering a specific area, like Perth? Then, a local purchaser's agent can be your fast track to success. Imagine having a guide in Perth that's got the inside scoop on all points home. That's what a neighborhood customer's agent is like.

They always have their ear to the pavement. From the most recent buzz on emerging areas to residential property hotspots with great returns... they're chock loaded with indispensable understandings.

Select an Expert Over a Jack-of-All-Trades

Investor-focused buyers agent comprehend the special purposes of investor. That's due to the fact that they're not just marketing a home; they're helping to develop a top quality asset base for outperformance and an earnings stream.

Their specialized expertise indicates they understand what makes a building an excellent financial investment. This is something a generalist may not be able to do.

Agents without spending experience might not understand the information, dangers, and benefits included. This gap can imply suggestions that's seriously off the mark.

Generalists commonly concentrate on the sob story of a home. However an investor-centric agent recognizes their clients are in it for the numbers. They recognize their customers are making an economic choice, not an emotional one. So, when spending, constantly opt for somebody that 'gets' the investor attitude.

Cheaper Isn't Always Better

Most customer's agents will charge you based upon the building's rate or an established fee once the offer is sealed. Now, conserving some bucks with a more affordable agent could sound appealing, but bear in mind, you get what you pay for.

Allow's say you're acquiring in a fierce market with few standout residential properties. In that case, an agent charging less could hurry through the procedure. Which indicates buying more residential or commercial properties rapidly. So they're not precisely choosing the best of the best.

Paying a bit much more can indicate your agent puts in the time to select only the best opportunities for you. Think of it for a second: isn't it far better to spend $20,000 in a stellar chance than $10,000 in one that's simply okay?

That added $10,000 could feel like a lot now, yet skimping might suggest missing out on a found diamond in future development.

What to Ask Your Buyers Agent

When advising your buyer's agent, be brief and to the factor. As a residential or commercial property investor, it's vital to set the adhering to specifications:

your budget plan

one of the most engaging basics to drive the property's long-lasting growth possibility.

Remember, investing in residential property is various from buying a home to stay in. Your primary objective is to see a return on your investment. Every little thing else is second.

Fall for the residential or commercial property's resources development prospects, not its place or appearance. Remember, it's a purely economic decision.

The Buyers Agent: The Secret Weapon in Purchasing Residential Property

Thinking of going it alone to save on buyer's agent costs? While it might be tempting, it's also dangerous.

Professional guidance might feel like a pinch on the budget now. Yet think long-lasting. That financial investment paves the way for smarter decisions and even more substantial gains.

Maybe you have actually constantly dreamed of investing in property to protect your monetary future. You know that picking the right buildings translates to a stable capital. Which uses a reassuring covering of financial protection for your loved ones.

But let's not sugarcoat it - getting property is a huge bargain, and it can get overwhelming.

At Buyers Advocate Perth, we're your relied on companion on your residential or commercial property trip, demystifying the process and assisting you make notified decisions. We provide a hassle-free buying process that can mitigate a lot of the threat. What's more, we do whatever for you, from locating the right homes to working out an effective result.

If you intend to dive deeper right into what establishes a high quality residential or commercial property apart and obtain beneficial ideas for a successful residential property purchase, or if you prepare to start your residential property journey, call our specialist buyers agent Perth team on our website.

[monstermaster13]

TftW: Were-Russell.

Nathan to Russell Brand tf/were-celeb theme.

The concept of people turning into animals has indeed been around for centuries, some say even more than that, the fact it is that is nothing new, werecreatures weren't anything new either - they were common and almost every country has one, you just have to look in a variety of unusual places in order to locate some of them.

That is where our hero comes in - Nathan or Monstermaster13 as he was referred to was not like others, far from it - he went with a more 'unique' approach, he went with the more satirical 'werecelebrity' gimmick, but hated it when people who bashed his work didn't get the joke. But the truth was that he wasn't the only one on DA who did the whole 'werecelebrity' gimmick despite nay-Sayers claiming that he was only the only one who did it, after all there were plenty of captions and stories with a theme almost like his.

Nathan always could relate more to the actual monster than the human characters in horror movies as he felt sorry for them and knew how they felt, after all - they couldn't help being what they were. He especially had a fondness for werecreatures, it started when he watched the Teen Wolf cartoon back in the 90's, he would go over to his best friends house and watch it on VHS.

Later on he discovered the movie the cartoon was based on in the late 2000's and became a huge fan of it, his interest in werecreatures came full circle with the introduction of Big Wolf On Campus. He loved that show to pieces and because of that show he developed a fascination with monsters, so much so that he went through several stages of wanting to be a monster.

When the live action version of the Grinch came out, he was obsessed with it and wanted to become a 'Grinch' himself. Which came true when he got bitten by Jim Carrey and became the Weregrinch known as Growler. When the LOTR movies came out, he went through a 'Hobbit' phase, and there were many more to follow.

However what he found to be the most fascinating part was that like with fellow werecreature Tyler, his transformations often varied and weren't just into one form, but often a different one every night.

What intrigued him more was that the transformations were sometimes influenced by whatever he was watching or listening to at the time or by things he did to influence the process. Like for example if he had just gotten back from a trip to the beach he would become an aquatic werecreature, or if he was watching a movie like Cat People he would become a werecat. He could control the changes as well, and he could direct them in the way he preferred as well.

But one night a transformation happened to him that shocked him to the core, it all started one night when he was in the living room watching MTV, something he hadn't done in years. He was watching a re-run of the 2008 VMA Awards, he remembered watching the commercials for it and liking them but he felt the RussellXBritney thing was kind of weird. He was also talking to his friend Joel on his Smartphone, posting various comments and photos.

"You know, I think that the women he's seen with are just pretending to like him."

"Oh, I don't know. I think Russell and Britney made an adorable OTP."

"Russell Brand's relationships with human females don't last long though."

"Oh? But what about KatyXRussell? Or Krussell as they call it?"

"Oh please, the two of them broke up in 2011-2012."

"But it wasn't his fault though."

"In my expert opinion it was. He was awful to her."

"That's not true!"

"Oh yes it is - depending on the source."

"I really do think he's not that bad though!"

"What you see in him is something I don't understand. Why if I was Russell Brand - I could have done so much better."

"Oh well, see ya buddy! Talk to you later, bye!"

He stopped for a while and turned his Smartphone off before continuing to watch the rest of the ceremony before heading into the kitchen to grab himself a biscuit, a slice of apple and a glass of lemon water, hitting pause on the DVR. He sat back down on the couch to watch the rest of it, hitting play as he did so.

As he continued watching, he noticed something very weird going on in the background, everything around him was changing including where he was sitting, it was all warping and altering - and within seconds he found himself backstage at the MTV 2008 VMAs, he looked around for a few minutes, feeling a little bit confused.

"Huh? Where am I? I'm at the MTV Vmas? But how?"

Indeed he was at the MTV 2008 Video Music Awards and from the looks of it he was standing on the stage where the host - Russell Brand, stood. He was slightly confused and puzzled as to how exactly he ended up there.

But he knew something weird was definitely going to happen and just as he was about to try and call his friend to inform him of where he was, it was time - he saw the full moon peering out from behind the clouds, which of course meant one thing…it was definitely time for his transformation.

As the moonlight shined through the windows, he began to feel rather strange and disorientated as eerie sensations jolted through his body - causing him to double over slightly. The sensations that were jolting through his body were giving him a mix of both pain and pleasure, that felt oddly soothing.

His transformation started with his black shirt and grey cardigan peeling away and reforming into a black leathery shirt and jacket as his torso and chest slimmed down along with his arms which were also growing longer. Silver chains wrapped themselves around his wrists as his skintone also changed.

"What the hell is going on?"

He looked down and saw his jeans also peeling away and losing color, before reforming and blackening to reform into a pair of black leather pants with a couple of chains wrapped around his belt, in the process he saw his slippersocks melting off before reforming and hardening into a pair of black boots.

Although it looked and seemed really painful, it was really quite tame - almost relaxing and intoxicating. He arched his back as it slimmed down as well, his legs also becoming longer and thinner as well.

His skintone lightened a bit, becoming a bit rugged in the process as his shoulders slimmed down and he elevated in height to 6'2, he didn't know what it was exactly in terms of his changes, but it was very entrancing and intoxicating.

"Mmm….this process is oddly soothing."

Even though he had no clue as to how this was happening to him, he was oddly enjoying it - it was a much more pleasant process than he thought it would be - he was entranced by his changing appearance, he felt that it was more natural to allow it to happen as his hair lengthened, growing longer and messier, cascading down a bit until it reached his shoulders a little - in the process it turned black and developed a wild looking backcombed style.

His eyes turned a darker shade of brown and widened as black eyeliner appeared around them, his eyebrows blackened and thickened, arching and giving him a more dangerous look - his forehead slightly enlarging as it became more pronounced, his nose narrowing a little and altering as his lips altered as well to match.

By this point the light yet rugged tone reached his face and neck as his neckline grew longer and thinner, the slight rugged tone becoming slightly visible facial hair as it grew around his jaw-line, giving him a very scruffy look too. At this point his features morphed and reshaped themselves, making him look more like Russell than his normal self.

Looking at his reflection from the other side of the Moon Man trophy, he saw Russell staring back at him, which startled him at first and mortified him a little but he didn't mind it all that much. He gasped a little as his voice changed, changing to match his appearance - altering to become Russell's voice complete with the Essex orientated British accent.

He had a bit of time to react before his transformation completed, Russell's mindset and personality taking over as he was finished transforming, he was now completely turned into Russell Brand.

"So…i'm Russell now? Hmmm…this may not be a bad thing after all. I do look rather glamorous in black."

The new Russell skipped up back onto the stage before carrying on with the ceremony, introducing the musical acts and making quips along the way - all the while getting rather used to his new self.

The man once known as Nathan was completely gone, he was Russell Brand, and like it or not - he was here to stay, and he knew that he was going to take the US by storm with this ceremony - Sure, he was going to make some new enemies - but to him it was all a new and exciting experience.

He hosted the ceremony all through the night and the ceremony proved itself to be the best VMAs celebration ever - so much so that he was called on to host the next year's one at all. When the show was over, he left the stage and decided to make one last call on his Smartphone - he received a response from Joel.

"I'm sorry if I said anything that may have offended you in anyway….it's just well…I was hoping you would understand Russell a bit more, I understand that not everyone likes him. But please don't be mad at me."

"I'm not mad at you, after all - you're still my companion and close friend. But nonetheless I forgive you."

"You do?"

"Yes.."

"Hang on a second! What's going on here? Who is this speaking?"

"Why it's me!"

"But your voice…you sound like Russell!"

"Well…I can't explain that, it's complicated."

"Is it some kind of supernatural issue? Do you need my help?"

"No…that won't be necessary, I can handle this on my own. But thanks for the offer, talk to you later…good bye!"

Russell turned the Smartphone off and stalked off into the night, for even though the ceremony was over - the fun was far from over, as he knew there was more fun to be had. And he was right.

He spent the rest of the night as Russell but when the dawn came and morning arose, he was back to being Nathan, he awoke to find himself sleeping on the floor of his own apartment - with an elephant standing nearby and a Moon Man trophy on the table next to him. His Smartphone beeped once more as he got another call from Joel.

"Nathan? Is that you?"

"Yes…or at least I think so."

"What happened to you last night? I was worried about you, buddy."

"Welll…it's a long story."

"I tried to call you but Russell Brand answered it instead."

"About that��"

"And another thing…you didn't tell me that you got a pet elephant!"

"Oh, well… I just woke up to see him there."

"And…woah! Is that a Moon Man trophy you have there?"

"Uh..yeah!"

"Nice! By the way…how did you do manage to get Britney Spear's phone number?"

"I'm just a lucky guy I guess."

"Well, whatever it is and whatever you were doing last night, you must have had a lot of fun."

"You could say that."

"Well thank goodness you are safe, you know I would be lost without you."

"Don't you worry about me, I told you I could handle it."

"Well…when you're right, you're right."

"No hard feelings?"

"No hard feelings."

With that Nathan turned the Smartphone off and went to change into his night-clothes - he then decided to go and watch a bit more TV, the commercial for the 2008 MTV VMAs was on, and Russell was flirting with Britney.

As for what he did after, he crouched down and gave a rather sly smile as he morphed into Russell briefly, mimicking the end scene in Trilogy of Terror when Karen Black's character was possessed by the spirit of the Zuni doll.

Of course after doing so he morphed back to his normal self, luckily for him - Joel wasn't aware that his own close friend had undergone so many transformations each night and also it was good that he didn't realize that Russell actually was him, of course that was just one of many secrets that Nathan have that came to life at night, specifically on nights like this one.

Remember, when you have someone like Nathan for a friend - to always be on the lookout, for you may never know what secret he's got hidden away or what or who he'll turn into next when the night calls.

[silveroak0]

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[telomeke-bbs]

Thanks for tagging me! 🥰

🤣 When I saw the notification (i.e., before opening the post and viewing the screenshots) the words "iconic staircase" made me think it was going to be the BL Death Stairs, LOL.

But it's a sign of how much we love and re-watch our favorite shows that we can recognize locations on sight. 🤩

For me it's all the Bad Buddy filming venues that have me pointing at the screen going "I've seen that before!" LOL.

That first location at the start of this thread is the Digital Multimedia Complex in Rangsit University (RSU Building 15):

(above) This external view of RSU Building 15 (The Digital Multimedia Complex) is from the Pantip Forum (linked here)

In Bad Buddy that part of the building (the floor level of the atrium; I think it's B1) can be seen briefly at Ep.5 [3I4] 9.50:

‌

That charcoal-gray staircase will forever be PatPran's khan maak venue to me 💖, even though it was first seen in Theory of Love I think. The location is RSU's Faculty of Architecture: 🤩

(above) This image of the Archi Faculty steps is from RSU's Faculty of Architecture Facebook page (linked here) and is dated 12 May 2017

‌

Someone mentioned that GMMTV may have a financial stake in some of these properties/commercial establishments, which is why they're so often used. Wouldn't surprise me if they're part-owners of Rangsit University and/or Satit Bilingual School because they're in so many shows! 😂

it's the way thailand really does only have like 10 different filming locations max. lmao

[victimized-martyr]

5 and 12!

5. What got you interested in South Park?

I was going through a buddy’s Instagram story and they shared the orchestrated version of Kyle’s Mom. It threw me off guard! This professional orchestra, playing a well composed song, with incredibly vulgar words! I was like what! and then I saw the kids dancing in the bg and I was like “SOUTH PARK??? what is this show even about?” I googled the latest South Park episode (post covid specials) and the rest is history.

12.You get to pitch one hypothetical episode premise to Matt and Trey: go!

answered this already... ahh what the heck, let's go for round 2

"The boys successfully reinvigorate the Coney Island Hot Dog Stand with Cartman's marketing strategy. "

IIIIII suck at short premises hgfjkd Basically, when I went to New York for the first time this year it was so funny how all these flashy hot dog carts literally next to each other would claim they were the best in new york. So I'm sitting here like, what if these hot dog places were honest and advertised themselves as something like "one of the hot dogs of all time" that's literally more attention grabbing. Like, it's a bun and a weenie, maybe pay a lil extra for some toppings, there's no way you can go up from there. Just call it what it is XD

I also wanna keep the momentum of having the Hot Dog a central plot location for Cartman, and I wanna throw the boys in the mix. Cartman is the face (because he always is) Kyle is second in command (because kyman opportunities he always is), Stan is the mascot/stand in for commercials ("Jesus fuck, Cartman, is this about me liking LaCroix?" "Stan, you're the picture of basic. It's not just the lacroix. Like, even your place is a wet-dream for basic people. Fuckin Farm-house interior design with white painted walls, yuck." "I DO live on a farm, asshole!") Kenny is cashier, Butters is buss boy, and I had the idea that Clyde is the main cook bc "Your output has been consistently mediocre, that's perfect for business". Though, Clyde gets ambitious and his hot dogs start tasting realllyy good. and, that's actually bad for Cartman and Kyle bc, their whole Thing is "It's a fuckin weenie and a bun. It's a hot dog. an OKAY hot dog, guaranteed!"

This is SUCH a stupid premise, idk how it'd even conclude. I just have this visual of the boys shooting their hot dog commercial in my mind and it's like. Yep. they sell sure are sellin hot dogs. I also wanna see more of Cartman and Clyde's dynamic. The show's alluded to their friendship a couple times (chubby solidarity) and i wanna flesh it out.

[dustedmagazine]

Iggy and the Stooges — You Think You’re Bad, Man? The Road Tapes ’73-’74 (Cherry Red)

CherryRedRecords · Gimme Danger - Iggy and the Stooges - Metallic KO (The Final Show) (Live In Detroit, 1974)

This new five-CD-clamshell collection of live music by the Stooges documents the band’s mad run toward self-destruction, through the autumn of 1973 to the winter of 1974. It was a winter of discontent: gas lines, Nixon holed up behind his Oval Office stonewall, Vietnamization horrifically piling up more ARVN and NVA corpses as American foreign policy lurched toward the exits. The dissipation, rage and derangement exhibited by the last Stooges line-up of the 1970s (Iggy, the Asheton brothers and James Williamson, with Scott Thurston along for the ride, playing barrelhouse piano) constituted a sort of proxy for a national psycho-social breakdown. Even before the tour started, Iggy was in bad shape, beaten up by months of hard partying and generally unhinged behavior in L.A., subsidized by his contractual relationship with David Bowie’s MainMan label. Following the commercial disaster of Raw Power, the band headed out on the road, in an attempt to salvage a rock-n-roll living. You Think You’re Bad, Man? captures some of those shows, and the band’s inexorable decline.

We should be clear: The recordings are of the general quality of a 1970s audience tape, captured by a well-positioned concert-goer. That means mid-1970s amateur tech, and “well-positioned” still places the device in a particular room, closer to or farther from various amplifier stacks. So on the 16 September 1973 show at the Whiskey, Iggy’s vocals are strongly audible and Ron Asheton’s bass thrum is athletically heavy; but the drums are a sequence of hollow pops, and the guitar inexpertly surfs the cacophony, occasionally rising for air, more often wiped out and washed out. The November 1973 show at the Latin Casino (often identified as located in Baltimore, but it was in fact a suburban New Jersey venue, in Cherry Hill, heaven help us) has an even more submerged quality, with the bass and guitar producing a sort of textured flow. Thurston’s heroic work on the piano is fairly audible, which is nice, but not what one went to a Stooges show for. In the New Year’s Eve set, at New York’s Academy of Music, Iggy’s vocals are sometimes pretty clear, sometimes distant and echoing (maybe he forgets to sing into the mic). Williamson’s guitar solos cut through the smeared miasma, but Scott Asheton’s drums are barely there. If you’re looking for the kind of clarity delivered by another archival Stooges recording released this year — Live at Goose Lake: August 8th, 1970 — you’ll be sorely disappointed. It’s also the case that some of these shows have circulated widely in bootleg and semi-legit forms: see Bomp! Records’ Double Danger and Skydog Records’ Metallic K.O. 

So, what’s in it for the listener? The 10 June 1973 show at Detroit’s Michigan Palace is the class of the bunch. All of the instruments are more or less audible as specific sources of music. The set features a strong version of “Gimme Danger,” a mainstay of these shows; Iggy’s rap in the song’s second half is typical of the period, but he sounds more desperate, for adulation, connection, sex, something. Williamson’s solo is blisteringly passionate and also pretty coherent. The set’s versions of “Head On” and “Search and Destroy” are ragged, but the band finds its groove again on “Heavy Liquid,” which they stretch out to twice its usual length, executing a fairly effective version of the metallic blues antics their old buddies in the MC5 used to get up to. 

For a more whacko iteration of the Stooges’ live chaos, it’s hard to beat the latter half of the show at the Whiskey. They work out on “She Creatures of the Hollywood Hills” for nearly ten minutes, beginning with a coked-up go-go riff that flashes dayglo weirdness even through the tape’s crappy warbling. Around the song’s midpoint, the Ashetons’ rhythm playing decouples from Williamson, and the song totters around for a bit. Iggy cuts in with some seemingly extemporized scat (as in scatological) poetry: “Wanna blow it all away / Buttfuckers makin’ me pay / […] Dirty minds and dirty tricks / Gonna try’n sell my dick.” It ain’t Keats, or even Corso, but it sounds like a passably accurate accounting of Iggy’s L.A. sojourn. The band finds the riff again, and Williamson makes his guitar scream, silvery feedback keening as the song around it collapses into a swirl of noise. The even longer, weirdly wired version of “Open Up and Bleed” shuffles, staggers and irregularly explodes into full-throated, thunderous salvos. It sounds dangerous, the Stooges in their druggy, bedraggled and somehow still ecstatic mode. 

Of the infamous Metallic K.O. show (9 February 1974 in Detroit), the less said, the better. It’s sad that Iggy’s vocals are so clear and strong on a night on which he’s so completely full of shit. Canvassing the increasingly hostile Motown audience for requests, he asks, “How about ‘Where Did Our Love Go?’” Then he squeaks out, “Baby, baby, where did my cock go?” That about sums it up. The band is sluggish. Iggy’s a miserably nasty mess. All the impending disaster of the six months of shows comes crashing down on the Stooges, alongside an audible fusillade of beer bottles. They try “Gimme Danger,” but they just end up hocking half-assed, strung-out bravado. And then they play “Louie Louie.” 

Iggy would be back, resurrected in Bowie’s Berlin. But the feral force of the Stooges, which occasionally manages to assert itself during these shows, would never be recaptured. “Search and Destroy” would eventually show up in Nike commercials, celebrating the athletic spectacle of the Atlanta Olympics. The band’s scorched-earth song of Nam’s senseless violence repackaged as patriotic pathos? That’s perverted history, lost in the fun house. As a sort of corrective measure, we have this document, and that speaks to its cultural value. You Think You’re Bad, Man? situates the sound of Stooges in its native territory: in Nixon’s America, following its death trip to the bitter end. 

Jonathan Shaw

[tomtenadia]

A Little Braver - Chapter 10

Evening everyone!

I have a present for you.

This lady here will be off on holiday for a week on Friday, so I thought about landing the new chapter tonight.

This one is a juicy one and I hope you will love it. A bit of fluff before the angst gremlin comes back for a visit.

This chapter comes with a smut warning. Yes, you read correctly. In the future I will be using FTB mostly because I find it difficult to write and keep it non cringy, but for this chapter I wanted to try and add some hotness.

Also, for those who haver read Island Dreams, I am heading to Lewis on my holiday, and i might post some photo of the locations mentioned in the fic.

Well, now i can let you enjoy the chapter

Aelin was at home sitting on the sofa, enjoying the food she had just ordered in, a bottle of beer and hockey. Her favourite team the Stags was playing an away game with the Skull’s Bay Pirates. 

The Stags were in the lead in the championship and the Pirates were just in second place, which made that game quite an important one. She was glad she had the night off although they would usually all camp in the communal area of the firehouse and watch the game all together. At least being at home meant she could have a beer.

Ice hockey in Terrasen was a religion. She had been a fan of the Stags since she was a kid and her dad would take her to the games. Then Aedion became her hockey buddy and once she joined the station she started sharing the passion with the rest of the team and they would also go and watch the games all together if possible.

She took a sip of her beer and kneeled on the sofa, the game was getting intense and she could not stand still.

In that instant her phone went off and she let out a curse.

“Oh for crying out loud.”

“What?” She answered while her eyes were glued to the tv.

“Good evening to you as well.” Rowan sounded almost offended by her brisk tone.

“Whitethorn, I am watching the game.”

“Uh?”

Aelin groaned as something happened on the screen and the Pirates almost scored.

“Ice hockey, Whitethorn. You have been in Terrasen enough to know it’s a religion here.”

He replied with a low chuckle. Then she heard him move and then all of a sudden a noise in the background and realised he had his tv on “wonder if they show it here. Wendlyn is not big on ice hockey.”

“You can tell. Their team sucks.” She drank a bit more “I can tell you that we are winning for now against the Pirates.”

“That’s the big match of the season I am gutted I am missing it.”

Aelin got agitated and swore a few times during some actions.

“You are a very scary woman.” She heard him switch off the tv “do you want me to call later?”

“No,” she said softly. She was actually quite happy. Since he had left three days before they had talked quite a lot over the phone at night and she had started to love their ritual. He was the one calling once he was free and she loved that new dynamic of theirs.

“How was your day training?”

“Oh, just wonderful. I spend my days dealing with cocky idiots who think they are gods because they have been admitted to flight school. Then they go ahead, mess up the exercise for everyone, almost get killed and have no respect for rank.”

She let him vent “sounds like you have a bad class.”

Rowan sighed loudly “I have been a flight instructor for six years. I had a few bad apples along the way, but this class is hopeless.”

“Can you do something about it?” She was still following the game but her attention had shifted to him. He sounded quite down.

“I reported them to the academy Commandant. I explained that starting flight school with the wrong foot was not recommended.” Another sigh “In the end it’s their school and they can do whatever they want. I don’t care. Being reckless in a jet is like jumping into a fire in t-shirt and shorts.”

“That would be very bad.”

“I know what the fuck I am doing. I have been doing this for the past 12 years. I have been in combat. Real bloody combat. Those idiots have only seen simulators. What do I need to do to be taken seriously?” He was really mad and Aelin wished she could do something for him.

“Ro, two weeks and a half and you are out. You are back with your team and students that you like.”

“How’s the game going?” He changed the topic, clearly being done talking about it.

“We increased our lead.”

She heard a popping sound “did you just crack open a beer?”

“Oh yes, I need it.”

Aelin smiled “I am having one too. Brullo has this friend who opened a brewery and I bought a few bottles and they are so good.”

“You have such connections and don’t even tell me?”

“I am sorry your highness.”

“You are excused this time. But don’t make it happen again.”

Aelin laughed “what are you going to do? Spank me?” And she froze. She should really need to learn to connect brain and mouth.

“Depends, will you like it?” His reply surprised her so much that she froze with the bottle halfway to her mouth. 

“You just have to hang around and see for yourself.”

He moaned “I will need to get back to you on this.”

“Will it help you decide if I tell you that I am wearing a hockey jersey and nothing underneath? I just had a shower…”

“Aelin…”

“What? Are you interested all of a sudden?”

“Obviously.” He groaned.

“I am teasing you, I have clothes on, but good to see where you stand.”

She heard him groan in frustration “you really are a menace and I don’t know why I bother with you.”

“You don’t have to stay on the phone if I irritate you so much. You are the one who called.” She bit back. Why they always end up fighting?

“I did not mean it like that.”

“Well then go and learn how to communicate with people because I am sick and tired of your attitude.” Her tone had grown angrier.

“Aelin, please. I was joking.” His voice was thick with sadness.

“No, I am so fucking tired of this.”

“Why can’t you believe that I was joking? Why do you always believe that I hate you?” He shouted back “I have been quite supportive with you recently. I have flown in to stay beside you after you lost a colleague. You have a problem with my attitude?” He vented “well, yours is not any better either.”

Aelin sighed “Rowan, why do we always end up like this?” She lay down on the sofa, the game completely forgotten “we had a nice conversation and then it always gets ugly between us.”

“I am sorry…” he paused and meant it “I have been looking forward to calling you. I had such a bad day that knowing I was going to phone you kept me going. I didn’t want any of this. I did not want to fight with you.”

“We are both bad at communicating.” She relaxed a bit. She did not want to fight with him either. And he was right, he had been supportive and amazing. Then she had an idea “Ro, I have four days of holidays coming up. I booked them ages ago, I had plans but they went to hell. Would it be crazy if I flew to Wendlyn? I will play tourist when you work and be out of your way, but what do you think?”

“I’d love that. Very much. It really sucks here.”

“It’s for this Friday. I known it’s short notice—” he interrupted her.

“No, it’s perfect. I don’t have a class this Friday, I can pick you up at the airport. Have Saturday and Sunday as tourists and I assume you are flying back on Monday.”

“Yes.” Her heart started racing. It was a crazy plan, but all of a sudden she was excited.”Let me check my roster, because if I finish at a decent time I can fly in Thursday night so we have three full days. Do you think you can manage that?”

“Happily.”

“Ok, stay there Buzzard, I am putting you on speaker phone.”

She ran to the kitchen and had a look at the calendar on her fridge with her roster and cheered loudly.

“Whitethorn,”

“What?”

“I come off shift at four. Now let me check for planes.”

She went to get her laptop and sat back on the sofa, “do you know any good airlines for Wendlyn?”

He laughed “Yes, my own plane.”

“Funny. Us common mortals don’t have that privilege.”

“I have no idea, Fireheart, I haven’t flown commercial in a lifetime.”

“Fine.” Aelin was silent for a few minutes typing away and looking for flight options. “Ok,” she said after a while “I can get one flight that gets me into Doranelle at 10.45pm your time, is it too late?”

“I guess I will postpone my nap.” He joked and she laughed back. He suddenly relaxed. The fight had been verging on vicious and he had not cared for that.

“On Monday I can fly back with a noon flight.”

“That one is perfect. I can drive you back to the airport and be back in time for my class.”

Aelin smiled wickedly “great, give me five minutes while I book it. Go and do grampa stuff in the meantime.”

“I am not a grampa.” Aelin heard him munching on something. Knowing him it was probably a carrot.

“Ok, now I need to find a place where to stay.”

“My flat?” He added shocked that she would think about staying anywhere else “Aelin, I have a flat. It has a second bedroom. And you don’t have to worry about giving me anything because it’s a flat owned by the airforce. It’s not a castle but it’s nice. You are not paying for a hotel.”

“Are you sure? Three days with me 24/7. That’s a lot of fighting.” She asked. She loved the idea, but wasn’t sure yet if they could survive that long in close quarters without killing each other.

“Perhaps we can leave the fighting aside and work on us?”

Aelin was silent for a moment “Us? As in…”

“As in more than two idiots fighting and pining for each other.”

Her heart pounded in her chest “Yeah, that would be intelligent, wouldn’t it?”

“Definitely.”

“But that’s a conversation for when you are here.”

Aelin smiled. She could not believe it was actually happening.

Rowan yawned over the phone “This grampa here would like to go to bed now. It’s quite late here.”

“Okay,” she said softly.

“I am looking forward having you here.”

Aelin hugged the pillow all excited “me too. Good night, Buzzard.”

“Good night, menace.”

Aelin squealed and threw the pillow at the other end of the living room in utter joy.

Thursday had finally arrived. Aelin thought the day would never come and that time had slowed down on purpose just to annoy her.

“Aedion you are in charge while I am away, will you be fine?”

The man was driving her to the airport “I will be. Go and enjoy your break. We will cope.”

“Ok, you know you can always call Dorian. He can come out on a call.” She was nervous. She hadn’t been away from the firehouse on holiday since before Sam died and was worried about her team.

“Stop fussing. We will be fine. You need a holiday. You haven’t been away in a lifetime. You deserve this.”

She breathed out, relaxing at his words. She knew she could trust Aedion and Dorian had given her his blessing too. 

“Just tell airforce boy to behave or I’ll scratch his toy plane.”

Aelin laughed. Rowan seemed to have a problem with the army but Aedion’s dislike seemed just as strong. To her it was just hilarious.

They arrived at the airport, she grabbed her duffel bag and backpack from the backseat and went to hug Aedion “thank you for driving me.”

“Let me know when you land on Monday and I will come and pick you up again.” And he hugged her back.

They parted and Aelin walked into the airport with a spring in her step and the biggest smile ever.

Rowan realised he had arrived at the airport a bit too early. He was so eager to see her that he had arrived with an hour to spare. He was a thirty year old man giddy like a child waiting for winter solstice presents. Considering their track record, three days together could go down in flame or be a success. A part of him was definitely anxious at the prospect, but when Aelin had suggested the idea he had no doubts. He wanted to do it.

Bored, he paced the arrivals section when a woman walked past him and her trolley ran onto his feet. He almost shouted at the woman but then decided to ignore it.

He viewed airports as pure madness. Utter chaos and he hated them. The good thing about his job was that if he had to travel for work he could use his jet. And when he used to travel with Lyria they had always driven. Now he remembered why he had avoided those places of pure chaos.

He moved to the big window where he could see the runaway and for a while studied the airplanes. One of his ex squadron mates after retiring from the airforce had become an airline pilot and on plenty of occasion had tried to convince him to join him, but Rowan always declined. There was little enjoyment in flying that way. 

While staring at the aircrafts landing and taking off, his hand was tapping on the handrail with excessive energy. 

He huffed a puff and and bored kept wandering around the airport. He had alway considered himself a decently patient man, but in that moment he felt as if he could not wait any longer. Had to really tell himself that she was coming and that it was not his imagination playing tricks on him. 

Luckily by the time his wandering was over, the arrivals notice board had changed the status of her flight to on approach and he went in front of the arrival section, knowing full well it would still be ages before her entrance. 

Forty minutes later he saw her and he was positive he now had the most stupid grin on his face. He recognised her golden mane tied up in a complicated braid. Gods, she was stunning and Rowan did his best not to drool too much.

She was dressed in simple jeans and a hoodie from the Terrasen Fire department and he chuckled. He waved at her and called as well.

Her smile when she spotted him could have lit up the night sky and he was positive his heart had just skipped a beat. 

Quickly an eagerly he walked to her, making his way through the crowd that had gathered.

She ran to him, then dropped her bags on the floor and in an instant she was in his arms. He lifted her up and kissed her. Not caring about the consequences. She was there. That’s all he cared about.

She kissed him back and for a while they were the couple that meets again after a long time apart and could not keep away from each other.

“You are here.” He said kissing her again and then brushed her hair in a tender gesture.

She smiled at him and slowly slid down from his arms.

He bent down and grabbed her bags “let’s go. You must be tired.”

Aelin took his hand and he did not pull away “the flight was crap. As soon as we hit the ocean it was bumpy as hell.”

Rowan chuckled “those civilian pilots struggling to handle a bit of wind.”

With her free hand she pinched his side “Meanie.” She told him “and it was bad and scary.”

He kissed her head “be glad that you have never experienced what a really terrifying flight his.” His voice was sad for a moment and Aelin squeezed his hand back.

“My car is over there.” They reached his vehicle and he dumped her stuff in the trunk.

It was fifteen minutes later when they reached his flat.

“I am a bit outside town but I love it. Much easier to go to work as I don’t have to drive through the centre. Saves me so much time.”

They entered the building and Rowan headed for the lift but Aelin stopped “pet peeve of mine. I don’t take lifts. I have saved enough people trapped in them, that now I don’t use them at all.”

“It’s eight floors, Aelin.” He complained.

“It’s good for your butt. Let’s go grampa.” Aelin grabbed the duffel bag and backpack from him and threw them on her shoulder and made her way to the stairs.

He realised that she was used doing stairs. But he was lazy and always used the lift.

“I am taking my chances.”

Aelin grabbed his hand and pulled him away “Don’t be an idiot. Come on.”

He protested but in the end caved.

Aelin relentlessly climbed on for eight floors and Rowan followed a few steps behind cursing that he had chosen to fall for a super fit firefighter.

“I can tell you some horror storie that will put you off forever from using them.” She told him while climbing the steps two at a time.

When they finally reached his floor, Aelin wasn’t even tired, Rowan instead was ready to strangle her.

“Come on grampa, I am sure your butt and your heart are thanking you right now.”

“Move.” She moved aside and let him open the door of his flat.

Once in, he flicked the lights on and Aelin looked around. The living room was spacious, from one door she could see a kitchen but what stunned her were the floor to ceiling windows at the end of the living room and the view. She dumped the bag and walked there and went to the windows.

“This is amazing.” He stopped at her side “Doranelle is called the City of Rivers. It’s not as beautiful as Orynth but it has its charming spots.” He explained with flat voice.

“Well, from up here it’s pretty cool.” Below her lay a sea of lights, then looking more carefully, she noticed the dark areas and assumed those were the rivers. She was looking forward to see that sight during the day.

Rowan pulled her arm “come on, you must be knackered, I’ll show you to your bedroom.”

She followed him into the room and smiled when she saw the bed. It looked so cozy.

She looked at him smiling “Orynth is a few hours behind so I am actually quite fine.” Gently she pinched his arm “you are trying to get rid of me.”

“I was just being considerate. You flew here after your shift.”

In one step she was close to him “I am quite hungry, though.”

Rowan laughed and patted her head “I knew it so I made something that just could go back in the microwave. Give me five minutes.”

“I’ll go and get changed in the meantime.”

It was much later when she was finally full and she and Rowan were now sitting on the sofa watching some tv. She had curled up her legs under her and his hand was absentmindedly tracing up and down the length of her exposed leg. It was much warmer than Orynth so she was wearing shorts and a baggy t-shirt.

She turned to look at him and saw Rowan concentrated on the documentary they had been watching. His face was relaxed, the tension had left his body and the sight of him like that took her breath away. His features always had an hard edge, but in that moment, relaxed, she could not look away. 

“Do I have something on my face?” A half smile appeared on his face.

“No.” She shimmied down to his side and leaned her head on his shoulder and he adjusted his position so she could be comfortable.

“You know I am not a pillow, right?”

In challenge, Aelin snuggled closer and her arms went around his waist. Rowan brought one arm around her shoulder and squeezed it almost in a silent gesture to tell her it was okay. He pulled her so close she was almost on his lap and in instant later his lips were on hers in a demanding kiss. 

Aelin sighed in delight and melted in the kiss. Rowan’s hands sneaked under the t-shirt touching skin. The kiss turned avid, all teeth and tongue and eventually she found herself straddling him. 

Her hips ground against his in a suggestive motion and a wicked smile spread across her lips when she felt him hard against her. Fingers found their target in his hair, and with a gentle tug she angled his neck and her lips began tracing its lines eliciting a loud moan from Rowan. 

His strong hands were a steady presence on her sides, pulling her closer with his thumbs brushing timidly the underside of her breasts.

Rowan’s tongue slowly traced the shape of her lips and she opened for him and when he intensified the kiss she began pondering what that tongue of his could do somewhere else. That image was her undoing. Aelin came up for breath and looked at him, his eyes smoky with lust.

She looked at him with the same desire and she was positive he had noticed the need in her stare as well.

Then Aelin stood and removed her t-shirt revealing her bare torso. She moved a step back and without ever removing her gaze from him she wiggled her finger in an invitation, then turned and swayed her hips on her way to his bedroom.

Rowan ran a hand down his face and eventually stood and followed her.

Shit. He was in such deep, unending shit.

It was the middle of the night and both Rowan and Aelin were still awake. They lay naked under the blankets while she was nested in his embrace, her head tucked under his chin, while he traced lazy lines on her back with his fingers.

She looked up at him and noticed his downcast stare. He looked sad and could not understand why. They just had some mind-blowing sex. Three times. 

“Hey, what is it?” She asked him, caressing his face.

He shook his head gently “nothing. Just thinking.”

“You are regretting this,” she said in accusation sitting up beside him.

Rowan threw an arm on his face and sighed “No.”

“Liar, that is not the face of someone who is happy after getting laid three times.” She folded her arms at her chest. 

He remained silent and Aelin bent over to grab her clothes “don’t worry. I get it. I’ll leave you to it. I’ll find a flight home tomorrow.”

His arm shot out and stopped her, then he sat on the bed and pulled her back “please, no.”

“Then talk to me, damn it.” She threw her clothes back on the floor “I can’t read your mind.” She shouted back frustration rising again. 

Rowan’s hands fisted for a brief moment “I am crazy about you,” he whispered, as if terrified by the admission “and there is a part of me that tells me that is wrong. Reminds me that I lost my wife a year and half ago and I should not replace her so quickly, not after I swore forever love at the altar.” he sat at her side but never looked at her, too scared of her reaction “I loved every single of minute we had together tonight but my stupid conscience keeps telling me that is wrong.” He lowered his head “and I know that my guilt will ruin everything, eventually.”

Aelin fully turned to him and cupped his face “Ro, look at me.” He lifted his eyes and stared in the blue depths of her own eyes “for some crazy unexplained reason I fell for you as well. I think I must be crazy,” she chuckled “I know your pain. Sam was not my husband but almost. After I lost him I promised myself I would not commit anymore. The pain of losing him was so bad that I decided I’d rather remain alone than suffer again.” She told him, caressing his cheek with her thumb “then you annoying bastard came along and destroyed all my resolutions. I wanted to hate you, for so many reasons, but the more I tried to do that, the more I failed.” His lips twitched in a faint smile “the way I see it, moving on is not a betrayal on your wife. You will alway love her, as I will always have a space for Sam. We are in our early thirties, what do you want to do? Stay celibate and miserable for the rest of your life? Pass on opportunities just because you want to be faithful to her?” She explained “also, and I do not mean this to be disrespectful, but didn’t she have divorce papers ready and a plan to cut you off from your kid’s life?”

Rowan collapsed back on the bed and sighed heavily. She was right. He had loved Lyria but she had planned to leave him. “what do you want to do?”

She looked at him with a puzzled expression.

“About us.”

Aelin leaned against him and snuggled back to his chest “one step at a time, remember?” She looked at him and his wonderful green eyes shone in joy “and if my memory does not fail me, you told me you were all in if I were.”

Rowan nodded gently and kissed her head “I still am.”

“Well, we have covered sex, even if we broke the rules, and we know that in that field we have plenty of chemistry, we just need to learn to talk without shouting and communicate better. We both have lots of baggage. What I suggest is that we spend these three days playing couple and once you come back we’ll just go from there.”

His arms folded around her and pulled her as close as possible, her golden hair in his face and the scent of lavender enveloping his senses “I think I like this plan.”

“Good, now let’s sleep though. It’s the middle of the night.”

Aelin kissed him and not long after fell asleep in his arms.

Rowan woke up the following morning and smiled at the warm body at his side. Aelin was sprawled on him, using his chest like a pillow. The blanket had fallen down to her waist and he realised they had fallen asleep naked. With his fingers he traced gentle lines on her shoulders, then leaned over and deposited a few kisses fully inhaling her scent. She moaned and slowly came to awareness and when she realised where she was she gave him a wonderful smile and he kissed her, fully, avidly.

“Someone looks happy,” she joked brushing his short hair.

“Nope, just trying to get back my side of the bed.”

She gently patted his shoulder but Rowan rolled on top of her and gave her a deep kiss “good morning, you.”

She stretched luxuriously in his arms then she kissed him back pulling her body close to his.

“Mmmm,” she moaned “morning wood or are you just happy to have me with you?”

He kissed her, then his head dipped in the hollow of her neck and his tongue traced the length of it “both.”

“We should definitely tend to it.” She teased and a moment later she straddled him “I do like being in charge, just so you know.” She leaned forward and kissed him, then disappeared under the blankets and Rowan cursed as soon as her mouth was on him.

Rowan stood and still naked went to make breakfast. They had remained in bed much longer that he had planned but it had been totally worth it. Their chemistry in the sheets was definitely perfect. Aelin followed him and she leaned, naked as well, against the counter. He bent forward and kissed her “we definitely need coffee.” She turned and Rowan looked at her, her long blond hair unbound and reaching her lower back. Along ragged breath escaped from him, then he went back to preparing breakfast. Staring at her naked form could lead to more dillydallying and he wanted to take her out to explore.

She walked back to him with two mugs of coffee while he finished to prepare French toast.

“Take the strawberries out the fridge, please.”

“I usually put maple syrup on.”

Rowan rolled his eyes “well, I am making them so we follow my rules.”

She pinched his butt “brute.”

Five minutes later they were sitting on the sofa, enjoying their breakfast. She brushed his hair with her hand. “Thank you for this. It was so lovely.” She placed her empty mug on the coffee table together with her plate and she turned to him fully and went for a kiss. Now that they had crossed that line she could not keep her hands off him. He pushed her down on the sofa, laying on her back and he kneeled between her legs. She propped herself on her elbows opening more for him and bit her lower lip at his lustful glance “you are so cute like this…” his voice rough with need.

Without ever averting her gaze she brought a finger to her mouth and slowly sucked it in a suggestive gesture, then her hand trailed down along her abdomen.

“Touch yourself.” At the same time his hand went around himself and started moving up and down while watching Aelin. Her fingers circled around her sensitive spot and he saw her threw her head backward and close her eyes. Her mouth slightly open. He leaned forward and kissed her, his tongue brushing her lips before clashing with hers. Her fingers buried inside her and Rowan lost it. He pushed her all the way down “I can’t fucking resist you.”

She looked up at him and smiled wickedly “then bury your dick inside me, captain.”

Rowan lifted her and walked back to the bedroom in a quick motion. 

His mouth landed on her breasts and Aelin’s hands kept him there, while he sucked and teased with his teeth. A moment later he moved away and went for the drawer grabbing a tie and Aelin lifted her arms above her head as soon as she realised his intentions. 

“This is very interesting, captain…”

Rowan very gently tied her hands to the boards of the head of the bed and then sat on his haunches to stare at her naked form in adoration.

“You are stunning,” he said while slowly caressing her belly. Keeping her hips in place he bent forward and his face disappeared between her legs which then quickly propped on his shoulders.

A savage moan left Aelin’s lips as his tongue found its target on her bundle of nerves and when he teased her with a finger she was all ready to combust.

“Fuck Ro— ” he cut her words with a second finger inside her. Those long digits that curled inside her, causing her legs to jerk while she felt the pressure build inside her. The orgasm creeping up quickly.

“I need you….” She told him breathlessly.

Rowan smiled, undid her ties and turned her around and then tied her again. He grabbed her butt and propped it up and his mouth was on her in an instant “you are so wet and ready for me.”

He went up on his knees and aligned himself with her entrance. His first thrust was gentle and enough to allow her to get used to him, he pulled back just a little and slammed into her to the hilt.

“More…” Cried Aelin grabbing the pillow and fisting her hands in it.

“More…” she begged him again.

His speed increased and Aelin felt her core tighten.

Rowan reached with his finger and teased her clit at the same time. Aelin moaned in the pillow as his ministration grew in intensity, until she could not hold it any longer and pleasure exploded in her making her crash over the edge. And while she was about to collapse into oblivion, she realised that Rowan hadn’t joined her in his release.

The grip on her hips grew stronger and she knew she was going to carry some marks. She met his thrusts and when his pace became frenzied she knew he was close as well. 

“Aelin, I am— ” he groaned loudly as he spilled into her and then collapsed exhausted on her back. He deposited gentle kisses on her back then collapsing exhausted at her side.

Rowan untied her then he took her hand and brought it to his chest “you are a wicked woman.”

Aelin chuckled “I had no idea I had it in me. I never… I mean Sam and I we never… this way, tied hands and all..…” Rowan brought her hand to his lips “Lyria and I did it, at the very beginning. Then it stopped and we calmed down until it became mechanical just because we were married. Once she found out she was pregnant she did not allow me to touch her at all.” He rolled over, facing her and his hand caressed her face “I thought it was because she was not well but…” he sighed “I haven’t told this to anyone but I suspected she was cheating on me.” He confessed and felt lighter. He had kept that to himself for a very long time “and to make things worse, I have a very, very strong feeling that the child was not mine. I think she lied to me on how far along she was.” He closed his eyes for a moment in a pained expression “I know she had stopped being happy about our life for a while. Whatever I did was not enough. She wanted me to retire and give up my job.”

Aelin extended her hand and brushed his cheek with the top of her hand “but she knew from the beginning what you were and what you job entailed?”

“Yes, I was clear from the start. Explained that my job took me away from months on end and all the dangers involved in it as well.” He closed his eyes enjoying the touch of her hand on his face “I think she hoped I would drop my career after we got married.”

“I loved her. I did all I could to show her that I was doing my best to keep the promise I made her at the altar.” He covered her hand with his “I failed her.”

“No,”Aelin whispered, this was conversation was giving her an insight into him and she realised she had no idea of how much pain and regret he was keeping bottled in him.

“I can’t fail you as well.” And she heard his voice break and snuggled closer to him “Ro, look at me.” She pulled his chin down to her “I am all in. I want to be all in. I am terrified, but I run into fires as a job, I know how to control my fears.”

He kissed her in a heartbreaking sweet kiss “I don’t deserve you.” His voice soft.

Aelin cackled “No one does, I am amazing that way. But you come pretty close to being worthy.” She joked and he kissed her back.

Rowan pulled away from her and then pushed her off the bed “come on, time to explore.”

Her blonde head emerged from the side of the bed “shower is mine.” And she bolted for the bathroom, he ran as well but once he got there she slammed the door in his face.

“Don’t spend half an hour in it.” He shouted. Then the door cracked open a little and her hand darted out “there is space for two…”

Rowan laughed and followed her inside.

The shower took much longer than expected and when they finally left the flat it was much later that he had planned. The whole morning had been totally worth it though, they had talked and he had a feeling it had helped move their complicated relationship in the right direction. He had even confessed her things he had never mentioned to anyone. He felt like he could trust her. She knew loss and darkness like he did.

They had lunch at one of the street vendors he had grown to love and now they were walking hand in hand along one of the the rivers and off toward the palace. Aelin walked silent at his side, taking in the city. “That’s the old royal palace.” He pointed at the stunning building they could see in the distance. “There was a monarchy once… and then the people rebelled and it got ugly and it went down and a government similar to what we have in Orynth was created.”

“The palace looks stunning.”

“I think they do tours to go inside. It’s where the government resides now but some areas are open to the public.”

“It’s fine I’d rather walk around and see the city. We can just see the palace from the outside.”

“As you wish,” his arm went around her shoulder and the feeling was incredible.

They walked to the palace and Rowan guided her behind it. When they arrived she was speechless. “It really is the city of rivers.”

Eight of them joined just behind the palace to form a gigantic basin with isles in the middle full of trees. In some parts the rivers went down a wall forming a waterfall.

“This is… gorgeous…” then she looked over and the spray of the waterfall had formed a beautiful rainbow “look,” she said to him pointing ahead.

He pulled her closer and kissed her temple “It’s quite an amazing corner this one.”

Aelin disentangled from him and walked around the area for a while and Rowan took photos of her. She was wearing an amazing green dress with a flowy skirt and he could not keep his eyes off her. 

“Come here you.” He did as he was told and joined her. “Hold me from behind.”

His arms went around her waist and they both gave their back to the basin. Aelin moved her phone so they both could be in the picture together with the magnificent background.

When she was about to click he kissed her temple.

Aelin looked at the photo “I am gorgeous.”

Rowan scoffed “I think you are the one who should move in with ego, although I think that in your case he needs a house on his own.”

She ignored him while she changed the picture as her phone background.

“I am pretending you never said anything.” And walked away from him.

Rowan laughed and a moment later he grabbed her arm and pulled her in for a kiss “Indeed you are stunning, captain.”

Aelin offered him her hand “shall we continue our tour?”

He took the hand she offered and they continued their exploration. They made their way to the area that was known as the historical one. The houses were built in stone of different colours and it looked very charming “here there are a lot of lovely small shops and some very cozy restaurants. It’s probably the most beautiful part of Doranelle.”

They continued walking until they reached a very colourful area “this is so pretty,” said Aelin pulling him toward the built up area.

Aelin dropped his hand and started walking toward all the small shops. She noticed a bakery and she walked in and Rowan followed in silence. Once inside he noticed she was busy chatting with the owner about their delicacies. Five minutes later she joined him with a bag in her hands.

“Did you buy the entire shop?”

She inclined her head and gave him a smile “almost.”

They reached the main square and discovered there was a market on and the place was full of stalls and food vendors. The air smelled of spices and food and Aelin stopped at every food stall enjoying some samples of the local food and buying some as well. Rowan followed her in silence and enjoyed seeing her relaxed.

“Are you going to spend you entire salary on food?” He joked, placing a hand on her lower back.

She turned and looked at him “I am on holiday Whitethorn, shush.”

They reached the end of the road and Aelin stopped in front of a clothes shop. In the window they had the most stunning black dress she had ever seen. She took Rowan’s hand and dragged him in.

“Hi, I saw the black dress in the window, is it possible for me to try it on? It’s stunning.”

“Of course,” said the shop owner “I make all the dresses myself.” She passed it to Aelin and pointed to the changing room.

Rowan sat on a chair and waited for her while his mind tried to picture her in the dress. When she finally emerged again he realised he had no idea how to picture her in such a dress. He swallowed hard as she walked to him.

“What do you think?” She turned to give him a full picture. The back of the dress dropped in a curve halfway down her back. It hugged her curves spectacularly and it had a cut up to above her knee. He was close to a heart attack.

“You… it’s…” he actually had no words “you are perfect.”

She smiled at him and for a brief second Rowan wished they were back in his room because he wanted to show her in another way what he really thought about it.

“Good, I am taking it. I will find an occasion to wear it.”

Once they were outside Aelin looked at him “did you really like the dress?”

Rowan wound his arms around her waist and pulled her closer, his mouth close to her ear “I had so much fun imagining all the possible ways for me to peel that dress off you.” 

“That’s the type of dress I would wear completely naked underneath by the way…”

He pulled her to his chest and bowed down for a kiss “I really hate that we are in public right now.”

She kissed him back. She was loving this side of him. One she had not expected him to have. He always appeared so composed and impossible to fluster. But under the captain’s mask she was discovering him to be quite a very interesting man. 

“You can ravish me tonight.” She added smiling against his lips and then walked away, leaving him alone and dumbstruck.

Yes, they could make it work.

She really wanted to.

TAGS

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[jennyslcte]

A MASTERLIST OF “OBSCURE” AND “UGLY” TRAITS AND OTHER THINGS. (1/?)

Anyone who knows me knows I love a downright gross character with sincere but obscure attributes. I recently made a PSA, located here, about how we should make traits like this more popular in the RPC. An anon suggested that I put together a list of traits and other things to work into a character’s personality in this sense! You can find that list under the cut. Enjoy!

Give your character bloody, scratched up knees.

Horrible fashion sense.

Bald spots.

Skin picking.

A habit of burping.

Make them overcompensate, make them desperate to save face.

Make them overly talkative. Obnoxious, annoying.

Awkwardness. Allow your characters to be awkward as fuck. Awkwardness isn’t always quirky. For me, it’s sweaty armpits and a bright red face.

Hey, there’s one. Sweat. Sweaty armpits. Sweaty tits. Sweaty hairlines.

Do research on health problems and concerns. Portray them in an understandable and careful way. A character can have Trichotillomania aka excessive hair-pulling. Give them diabetes, heart problems, OCD, Epilepsy, Arthritis, joint pain, back pain. The list is endless. Pull from personal experience too, that always helps me.

FARTS.

Write more about your character’s period. Sometimes it’s downright gross. Describe that.

Give them bad or crooked teeth. Missing teeth too.

Thin or thinning hair.

Throw in some facial hair too. Chin hairs, especially. I have so many.

Maybe your character a nail biter. 

Give them a messy home or a messy purse. 

Make them unconventional. 

Big noses. We love big noses.

Make them ugly but honest.

Make them unsatisfied for reasons they don’t understand. Let draw from this dissatisfaction and grow irritated by everyday life.

Obscure interests. Clowns, bruises, dirt, ghosts, trashcans, tearing out book pages, taping receipts to the wall, strange little tattoos, sex, demons, scissors. Whatever you can think of. 

Make your characters cut their hair on impulse. Get ugly, horrible haircuts. They can cut their bangs at 3am and regret it when they wake up.

Sleeping until the afternoon. 

Broken bones. 

Maybe they’re obsessed with the internet and social media.

Let them have lots of dirty laundry.

Hair chewing.

Necklace chewing.

Junk food lover.

The person who forgets to wear deodorant. 

The person who forgets to wear deodorant but always has a little travel one inside their bag. Thank God.

Rotting milk in the back of the fridge.

Doesn’t text back. Never answers emails. 

Make them fickle. Make them change their mind often. 

Give them a crooked spine.

Smelly feet.

Sore feet.

Bad at exercise.

Slowest runner on the planet.

Old pillowcases. They forget to wash them. But when they do, it’s awesome.

Excess cleaner. Everything needs to be clean or the world explodes.

Rashes.

Eye boogers. We all wake up with them.

Bad breath. Nobody wakes up with minty breath, dude.

Bad at makeup. Always has mascara and lipstick all over the place. One time, a foundation bottle exploded. 

Make them want to be liked. Adored.

Make them ignore people.

Ripped tights.

Chipped nail polish. 

Blotchy tans.

Uneven skin tone.

Ache. Pimples. Zits. Puss. WE ALL HAVE THEM.

Back acne....come on, give your character back acne.

Textured skin.

Poor communication skills.

Slow reader.

Not good at math.

Hell, not good at school subjects at all. 

Poop. LET YOUR CHARACTERS POOP, DAMN IT.

IBS.

Yeast infections.

Hairy balls.

Hairy legs. Hairy boobs. Hairy everything. 

Chronic kick the ice under the fridge person. 

Shopaholic. But, for like, stupid shit. Trinkets, books they’ll never read, journals they’ll never write in, stickers, ribbons, shark teeth, rocks, marbles, fancy napkins, plates, figurines, lotion, hats, Christmas decorations, and more. 

Did I mention trashcans?

Starts writing in journals but then gets annoyed and never writes in it ever again. Now they have tons. Too many. They’re all filled with one to three pages max.

Make your characters a try hard. Desperados. 

Make them get fired. Lose their jobs. Make them bad at their job.

Steal from the job.

Make them storm chasers.

Or a cashier at the dollar store.

Can’t swim.

Their whole life is a junk drawer.

Just give them a junk drawer. There are so many batteries in there.

MASTURBATE. LET YOUR CHARACTERS JERK OFF.

Do they masturbate a lot? How? Do they just do it to go to sleep? Make them masturbate just to go to sleep.

Ugly cry.

Ugly orgasm.

Scars.

Birthmarks. 

Discharge. 

Uneven tits.

Uneven balls.

Little dick, big dick, small dick. Sing it with me.

One day I’ll build that Ikea table. Not.

Dirty dishes. I’m not doing them.

Your character doesn’t do the dishes? Make them have a habit of chucking them in the garbage and buying new ones.

LAZY. LAZY. LAZY. SO FUCKING LAZY.

Has cereal with every meal. 

Drinks right from the bottle.

Collects mugs.

Collects rubber bands. 

Cries at everything. At every movie, every commercial.

Receding hairline. Sorry, buddy.

Silver hair.

Dry skin.

Dandruff.

Greasy hair. I didn’t have time to shower.

Mismatched socks. 

Ripped underwear.

RIPPED PANTS. OH NO.

Worst driver ever.

Secretly, I’m an asshole. But only in secret.

Accidentally burnt the apartment down. Nothing tragic. Nobody died. I left a pizza in the oven.

Let random shit happen. Not everything is a tragedy. Accidents. Oops.

Give your characters studio apartments. Small homes. Old homes. Little, tiny spaces. 

Give your characters regular, working class jobs. Receptionist, garbage person, cashier, deli manager, dishwasher, food staff, telemarketer. Once again, the list is endless. 

Break some hearts. Your character can cause the suffering. 

Dysfunctional siblings. 

Fried, dry ass hair. 

Make them make terrible art. 

Make them not very talented. You don’t have to be good at everything to be happy.

Involved in a crime. Missing person, theft. You name it.

Make them a bad criminal. Maybe they suck at it. 

Worst. Assassin. Ever.

NOT EVERYONE IS AN EXPERT. 

Maybe they smoke too much weed.

Smelly socks. 

Maybe they smell too good....so good that it’s disgusting. Potent.

[ts4cyberpunk-followtherabbit]

( Send me suggestions for new roles!) 

LEGALLY EMPLOYED

Politician: is active in politics, holding or seeking office in government. Politicians propose, support, and create laws or policies that often include how much Corpo control is involved in the city’s government.

Attorney: There are lawyers for corporate law, international law, space law, entertainment law, warfare and military justice, and federal and local law. Rates vary on the firm.

Collar: Corpo Employees like Clerks, Secretaries, and junior Executives are commonly known as collars. Usually a low-level employee of a megacorp they don’t have much pull in Corpo biz but benefit from Corpo job perks.

Suits: Senior Corpo executives find themselves higher up in the ranks with more lucrative benefits and higher risk responsibilities usually involving shady Corpo deals. A suit’s front-line is still usually in an office.

Netcop: Sometimes they uncover Corporate treachery or deadly secrets. But that’s not why they Netrun. Working for Netwatch makes them equipped with very powerful software to move through the Net, every Netrunners dream.

Corpo Engineer: create profitable weapons, devices, security systems, and cyberware. They often have access to dangerous and expensive equipment that they can work with at their leisure for personal gain.

Consolidated Agriculture: direct ownership or leasing of farmland by major corp industry in order to mass produce the world with high quality food.

Social Worker: A particularly underfunded sector of the government, social workers are in charge of human resources and financial aid, most often in the form of kibble card distribution and foster care services.

Scientist: conducts research mostly funded by Corpo to provide corporations with the latest in  Cybernetics, Biotechnology, Systems biology, Nanotechnology, Synthetic Engineering, and Metascience.

Medical Technicians: doctors in a specific field. They could be general practitioners, cardiologists, dentists or more elite members of the Trauma team. Most are impossible to afford without a Corpo insurance plan.

Educators: demonstrate effective learning, teaches, informs, instructs, or inspires about general or specific subjects. Anyone with a marketable skill can educate on it.

Accountant: responsible for keeping Corpo’s or crime rings’ financial records. Most accountants are responsible for a wide range of finance-related tasks, but mostly its about making sure acquired income looks legal.

NCPD Badges: Underfunded police that stretches their authority and use procedural abilities as far as they can to get their job done. Most Badges want to make the city a safer place, others just like having authority to abuse.

MaxTac: sometimes referred NCPD Psycho Squad, they are a specialized sub-group of the Night City Police Department. As a cybersquad, MaxTac specializes in dealing with cyberpsychos.

Private Investigators: law enforcement that works for private clients. They interview people, conduct surveillance, find missing persons, and solve crimes. Wages earned vary by the investigator, some are famous, ergo expensive.

Bounty Hunters:  catches criminals and brings them to NCPD badges in return for a reward. Even though they are legally employed with NCPD and Militech corp. BountyHunters are not against working solo gigs to catch criminals.

Firefighters: a rescuer extensively trained to extinguish hazardous fires that threaten life, property, and the city. There is a recruitment drive in the armed forces, suggesting assault-style situations.

Dog Tag: Any individual on active duty with the United States Armed Forces, led by the Department of Defense. The D.o.D consists of four branches: the Army, Aerospace Force, Navy, and Marines. Inactive dog tags are called ex-tags.

Social Worker: A particularly underfunded sector of the government, social workers are in charge of human resources and financial aid, most often in the form of kibble card distribution and foster care services.

Construction Worker:  work makes up almost 70% of available work for civilians. Full body conversions like the NovelTech Samson make workers tireless, incredibly strong, and capable of surviving almost any accident.

Janitors: There aren’t enough janitors in Night City to clean the filth off her streets but all the same companies still hire people to clean their office buildings and shops. Its often nasty work for bad pay.

Binman: a worker who collects and hauls away garbage and municipal solid waste and recyclables from residential, commercial,  industrial for further processing and waste disposal.

Farmer: raising living organisms for food or raw materials. The term usually applies to people who do some combination of raising field crops, orchards, vineyards, poultry, or gene-buddy livestock.

Owner: a privately owned business with a storefront where legal business is conducted. Many owners are under the protection of gangs depending on their location but some owners are perfectly capable of protecting their own store.

SPIRITUALISTS

Paranormal Investigator:  the paranormal is a lucrative business. Most gigs tend to be the work of tech being used to simulate experiences but they are paid to resolve the paranormal activity.

Cultist: A charismatic leader or a follower of an unorthodox cult who generally lives outside of conventional society. Some Cultists are prone to acts of terrorism or unorganized violence for their spiritual or religious cause.

Religious Leader: The duties of a religious leader vary from faith, but usually include encouraging people to make a commitment to their faith and live according to its teachings and explaining the meaning of scripture.

ENTERTAINMENT BIZ

Glitters: Doors open for Glitters that are closed for others because they can bring exposure and popularity. Public icons, fashion gurus, famous investors are all glitters whose only job is to write checks and shine.

Braindance Artist: An actor or actress that works primarily with Diverse Media Systems Braindance Studios. The artist is wired up with the neural feeds and starts recording. The BD artist usually has no script. The art of Braindance recording is spontaneity.

TV Star: From talk shows to “reality shows” TV stars still fill daytime TV channels with drama, action, and comedy. Braindance might be the next best form for the movie cinema and video game industry but TV stars still dazzle the small screen.

Rock stars/Lazrpop Star: Singers that are sponsored by recording companies or other Corp. and are paid to be apolitical so their music creates no discourse, They make beats and lyrics and their income is relative to the size of the audience that idolizes them.

Radio Jockey: A radio jockey hosts a radio show that may take calls from listeners; interview celebrities or gives news, weather, sports, or traffic information.RJ’s can be swayed monetarily to broadcast political leaning content. In between, they play music of preferred genres.

Performative Dancer: From Ballet to Kabuki Theatre, performative dancers are marveled upon in media by more artistic or refined members of society. Many performative dancers utilize cosmetic and athletic cyber to add authenticity to their performance.

Performative Musician: composes, conducts, or performs music on instruments. They are not concerned with conflicts of political interest since their music seldom includes vocals. They are still often sponsored by Corpo though.

Comedian: seek to entertain an audience by making them laugh. This might be through jokes or amusing situations, acting foolish or employing prop comedy. Comedians get the most heat in the industry for crossing apolitical lines.

Writer: Most Corpo employed writers are writing scripts for TV stars, comedians, songs for rockstars, and speeches for politicians but some still work the competitive field of novels, they also compete with AI software in creative writing.

Preem Mannequins: Models that work their way up a brutal and competitive industry to stand out for their physical beauty in some way. Most get featured in advertisement billboards and high fashion magazines and most are obsessed with their physical appearance.

Superstar: do it all, record BDs, release songs, dance,and have had their face on billboards. They are masters of the entertainment industry and produce eddies and audiences where ever they go. Most Superstars are completely entitled.

Professional Athlete: Athletes compete in one or more sports that involve physical strength, speed or endurance Most professional athletes have particularly well-developed physiques obtained by extensive modification, strict training, and dietary regimen.

Celebrity Agent: represent and promote artists, performers, and athletes in dealings with Corpo sponsors. They handle contract negotiation and other business matters for clients. They also headhunt for new talent to bring in.

Fashion Designer:  design clothing and fashion ranges. They may work in high fashion or designer ready-to-wear fashion, as well as in high-street fashion. Most fashion designers that achieve recognition for their designs assist Corpo techies in producing more creative code in Fashion Ai’s.

Aesthetic Artist: those in the entertainment biz are concerned about their appearances to the media and public. Aesthetic artists’ job is to make sure they look their best. Focused on make-up, hair, and outfit they keep those in the entertainment biz styling.

Creative Craft Artisan:  a very rare breed mostly replaced by 3D design and printing companies, CC Artisans create unique sculptures, woodwork, or pottery made out of the finest materials, and their creations are afforded only by the super-wealthy.

Illustrator Artisan: Illustrators are painters, sketchers, and digital drawers that create original images for a range of printed and digital products. They work closely with marketing teams to turn ideas and printed media into inspiring illustrations.

MEDIA

TV News Reporter:  always somehow on the scene in the thickest of action to get first hand news delivered to the citizens before other networks. It can be a high-risk job.

TV News Anchor: Once reporters work up in ranks they can earn opportunities to become a TV news anchor, a lower risk job with higher pay than TV news reporter. Many TV news anchors gain enough popularity to be considered a glitter media.

Journalist: Journalism in night city means gathering, assessing, creating, and presenting news and information via screamsheets, magazines, or the net. Unlike TV news reporters, journalists are freelance, the job is high risk.

Combat Correspondents: provide perspective on what it’s like inside the U.S. armed forces. These soldier media gather information for news and feature articles much as civilian journalists do , often against military protocol.

Sensationalist: sensationalism is a type of editorial gig. Events and topics in news stories are selected and worded to excite the greatest number of readers and viewers.

Celebrity Hunter: Journalists that focus on the who’s who are usually found chasing down the hottest glitters for interviews that will produce the best ratings. They have a low-risk job but sometimes find themselves in high-risk situations.

Clicker: a freelance photographer or can be employed by photo agencies, magazines or local newspapers. Their job is to shoot the best photo for the best story. Journalists and clickers work as a duet.

Sport Jockey: to make sure you know every score from all the most important games worldwide. It’s a low-risk job with sports celebrity access perks.

Media Techie:In media, there is equipment like cameras, recorders, Braindance,  media techies are hired to maintain, repair or purchase and all equipment for best-produced media in the biz.  

Shutterbug: vagrants of media, shutterbugs are out to get any quote, photo, or story that will garnish any eddies for personal gain. They don’t care about truth or ratings, they simply chase whatever sells quickest.

STREET TRASH

Sharks: have eddies to give away, but interest rates are known to be extreme. consequences of defaulting on a loan shark is often a higher price to pay. only desperate people go to sharks, and they capitalize on it.

Bookie: a person whose business is accepting and paying out money risked on a particular result of something, esp. fighting, racing and competitive activities.

Black Marketeer: a person who trades illegally in officially controlled commodities such as illegally obtained Corpo weapons, Illegal cyberware, BDs, and extreme drugs.

Juicers: work for sharks almost exclusively and aren’t hired to kill but instead hired to squeeze eddies owed to the shark from poor s.o.b’s that are overdue on their debts. They are quick to use extreme force and torturous tactics.

Pushers: SynthCoke,Boost,Blue Glass,Smash,Dorph,Black Lace -pushers sell it all.Pushers only care about moving drugs for eddies. They are prone to using the drugs they push some can be dangerous.Ex-tags and joytoys are common customers.

Cookers: SynthCoke,Boost,Blue Glass,Smash,Dorph,Black Lace- Cookers make it all.They have a dangerous job just from being exposed to lethal chemicals during the cooking process to avoiding the ncpd Vice unit.Cookers use pushers to distribute.

Street Punk: Gang posers,dophers,zoomers, and dregs of society are weak nobodies that get themselves or other people killed during careless acts of petty crimes and gigs. They have a low threat level but are still a nuisance, mostly to the NCPD.

Scavengers: known for kidnapping people and forcibly harvesting their cyberware.Despite all of them pursuing the same distasteful trade, scavengers tend to operate in small groups with no official hierarchy to unite them.

Con Man: night city’s cheats and swindlers who cheat or trick someone by gaining their trust and persuading them to believe or buy something that is not true. Con man are responsible for a lot of disappearances and deaths.

Gangbanger: Gangbangers are the ultimate rules of the city streets. From small gangs like Moxes or Divine Dragons to mega gangs like Tyger Claws  each gang in Night City is as diverse as the street itself all thrown together in a lethal cocktail.

Street Scribbler: Wannabe street artisans take to scribbling opinions, quotes, and sig tags over public property as a form of protest and vandalism. Scribblers are not extremely creative and don’t respect gangbanger tags.

Street Artisans: create graffiti as form of activism and expression but follow strict code and respect gangbanger territory. This respect of code encourages gangbangers to protect some artisans’ artwork from scribblers defacing their work.

Buskers: the jesters of night city from acrobatics, drawing caricatures, comedy, dance, singing, living statue, poetry, street theatre, these citizens earn gratuities by entertaining the city streets on all corners.

Street Vendor: Offers goods or services for sale to the public with a mobile stall. Goods they sell are often second or even third hand, may or may not be stolen or salvaged.

Disc Jockey: DJs, play off the cuff or pre-recorded mixes at nightclubs and at private and public street events. They engage and entertain their audience and incorporate requests into their music line-up.

Fixer: Well-connected information brokers who apply their trade on the black market. They locate, acquire and sell info about desired persons, places or things within their areas of operation. Most gigs solos do come from Fixers.

Nomads: were once corporate wage-slaves, who got fired from employment, and now they roam the highways in motor-gangs.They maintain strong family bonds and have a hard time trusting anyone outside of the family. They despise Corpo.

Ripperdoc: is a medical practitioner who can install a variety of cybernetic prostheses. There are many that operate legally, but some conduct illicit deals, such as installing military-grade cybernetics for the right price.

Deckjockey: is an expert netrunner, usually a specialist at covertly accessing and stealing from corporate databases, buying, trading and selling their deepest secrets and information to Fixers and other Deckjockeys.

Techie: range from technicians to cybernetic specialists. They are usually introverted and “underground’ who do “off-the-record” work and make their living building, fixing and modifying anything from vending machines to weapons.

Bartender: Night City drags dangerous individuals in pretty much every bar, club and pub so many bartenders tend to be ex-gangbangers, ex-cons, ex-tags, and ex-solos.and are accustomed to violence and high-stress environments and how to handle them.

Bouncer:  tend to come from backgrounds of violence but also have the body and modifications to execute more aggressive methods of peacekeeping. A bar’s success can sometimes completely rely on how good the bouncer is at their job.

Smuggler: facilitate entry into a desired location and smuggle a package to be delivered at a predecided destination.They may traffic persons or merchandise and are quick to abandon a package if they suspect they will be caught.

Runners : a driver for hire that has three rules: all deals are final, no names, and never look at the package. Runners don’t abandon packages at the first sight of risk, This makes them more expensive.

Highrider: a pilot for hire who will fly anyone to their destination under any conditions as long as they get half their payment before take-off and the rest when they land. Most highriders die in a flame of glory.

SOLO

Solo Mercenary: is the jack of all trade in the solo biz not particularly a master in one thing a solo merc takes jobs From bodyguard to thief, to assassin. But the point is they get the job done, even if its a bit…messy.

Shinobi: trained shadow solos have finesse. Their proficiency is in katanas, martial arts and stealth so have a great skill-set suited for silent stings and assassinations. They get the job done quietly and you pay extra for it.

Solo Thief: have exceptional skills at stealing and have mastery over all kinds of lock picking and hacking.To the simple pickpocket to the most difficult heist, a solo thief always nabs their target possession.

Solo Assassin: don’t have time for petty thievery and are not in the biz of “protecting’ anybody. Their set of skills is good for one thing: finding and killing a target. Their contracts are usually very expensive.

Solo Bodyguard: are tanks, physically strong and unyielding they use their physical advantage to guard and protect persons or places. solo bodyguards often have contracts with fixers, celebs, politicians, and even Corpos.

Corporate Samurai : Solos that are hired to protect Corporation property and carry out violent and illegal gigs for Mega Corps.The Corporate Samurai will associate and  works for or possibly as a Corrupt Corporate Executive.

Ronin: Previously corpo Samurai are now freelance are called Ronin and are seen as untrustworthy in the solo bizz because of their Corpo past however this past gives them an edge in succeeding against Corpo gigs.

Street Samurai: fight against the Megacorps and follow their own personal codes of honor which is to bring down the society in which they live in order to make a better one so they take Any gig that sticks it to Corpo.

Shinobi: are elite trained and have mastery in espionage and deception hired by Corpos executives, celebs, and politicians for protection. Shinobi are usually against using cyberware and prefer to rely on their own strength.

EROTICA WORK

Joytoy: Licensed prostitutes that work the street.Their biz is selling sex.joytoys have a high risk gig so they often seek out pimps for protection which depending on the pimp can help or complicates a joytoys job and life.

Pimp: a joytoy’s manager. They sometimes bring joytoys clients and deal with problematic customers but mostly they hover around their joytoys and berate them for not bringing enough eddies.Most pimps only ‘manage’ a handful of joytoys.

Doll: A step up from street prostitutes Dolls use neural implants to remove themselves from the experience and implant a fantasy for the customer and the doll doesn’t remember the interaction when it’s over.Dolls are employed by dollhouses.

Caretaker: owners of dollhouses. They employ dolls, provide health care as needed as well as protection for dolls . Caretakers can employ dozens of dolls at one time and dolls work hard for them for higher positions in the dollhouse.

Mannequin: are a  dancer that perform in a window box, usually wearing a fashion brand they are hired to be still, poised, and perfect like a real mannequin, others are hired to perform lavish dances to sell the brand they are wearing.

Stripper: is a person who earns eddies by stripping their clothes off.However, its not as easy as just standing on a stage naked. They are excellent dancers and masters at visual teasing. Some strippers are also joytoys,but not always.

Erotica:  are a dancer that performs for braindances. synaptic acting a-listers. Pure bi-based ecstasy.All eroticas are in a catalog where you ask for their pre-recorded BD. Eroticas don’t generally engage in physical sexual activity.

Black Widow: has a more lucritive and lethal way to use their body .Black widows target Glitters use sex to get closer to the target and murders them before making off with an exceptional score of eddies or merch to sell.

Hooker: an unlicensed sex worker generally wants to avoid STD screenings which would make any sex work they do illegal if they fail the screening.Unlicensed sex workersoffer way cheaper services but with much higher risk of STD spread.

[irisrecs]

buzzfeed unsolved fanfiction recommendations

This is all Ryan/Shane— so don’t like, don’t read.

PSA: I am not in any way stating that Ryan and Shane from Buzzfeed Unsolved and Watcher are together, or that I want them to be together; this is for entertainment use only. I urge you to not contact them or @ them on twitter or instagram making comments about their relationship, as they are humans just like the rest of us. Some things are none of our business!

This is a masterlist of my favourite fanfictions in this fandom! Thanks to @gigaledom for cheering me on. Never thought I was going to do more RPF, but here I am.

Under 10k

and i’m puffing my chest, getting red in the face by pissedofsandwich- 6k, Teen

Summary: "Zack's going to be there?" Shane asks, masking his... whatever it is he's feeling in his chest, with nonchalance.

Ryan blinks. "Yes?"

Well, never mind dancing with the fucking sun. He’s Icarus, wings melted and falling face-first into the asphalt.

Or: Shane is definitely not at all jealous of how close Zack and Ryan are getting during the making of Sports Conspiracies. Except that he is.

My notes: They’re both so jealous of each other and so bad at communication. Thank goodness they have their friends to help them out! Really funny and entertaining!

lay your demons at the door by abovetheruins— 7k, Teen and Up

Summary: Ryan had been so careful. For months he had learned to train his face into a semblance of normalcy every time a spirit got too close or he was overwhelmed with some indiscernible emotion on location. He had learned to channel his fear into something more manageable, something entertaining enough for the cameras but not so severe that anyone would be able to tell he wasn’t just jumping at shadows or groaning floorboards anymore.

Shane wasn’t supposed to find out. He wasn't supposed to know.

My Notes: The Seer!Ryan AU that I wasn’t expecting to like so much. A lot of pining and caring! Shane with a lovely ending!

First Impressions by luxbuhree— 9k, Mature

Summary: The chance to work with and sit next to THE Shane Madej was one of the things Ryan was looking forward to, now that he's starting his first day in BuzzFeed. But while he was expecting a charming and friendly guy, he was instead met with someone who couldn't care any less.

Will the case of why Shane hates Ryan remain unsolved?

My notes: In which Shane is really bad at feelings and Ryan has the hots for a certain person who pins him against walls. Awesome ending.

a short history of almost something by cooliohoolio— 6k, No Warnings

Summary: "I think I'll wait another year."

Shane's in love with Ryan, and will get around to telling him. One of these days.

My notes: A lovely short high school! AU with mutual pining. They’re best friends ahhh

only happy accidents by barnes— 8k, Explicit

Summary: In hindsight, Shane is too old to have thought that friends with benefits was something that the two of them would be able to pull off. He’s had friends with benefits before that worked beautifully, but they were not with people whose jobs were tied up in his own, whose friendships were as closely interwoven into Shane’s everyday life as Ryan’s is. He’d thought these were the very things that could keep it from getting weird, because they were such good buddies, Ryan would be solidly cemented as his pal that nothing could shift him.

This was a miscalculation, on Shane’s part.

My Notes: I’m not usually a fan of friends with benefits to lovers, but this had so much mutual pining and fluff that I enjoyed it so much! A must-read.

Gurl, Imma Marry You (ryan is a mess) by orphan_account— 2k, General Audiences

Summary: Ryan is perpetually doing dumb things. Starting a ghost show? Dumb. Going to demon houses? Dumb. Talking to ghosts? Dumb.

But those are all new dumb things. Ryan's known he wants to marry Shane forever. That is an incredibly old dumb thing.

My notes: Really cute and fluffy and I love it so much. It’s a kind of read-to-make-yourself-feel-better kind of fic!

Por Favor, Sweetheart by carrieonfighting— 8k, Teen and Up

Summary: Two dorks raise a baby and don't even realise they're doing it together until it's too late

Alternatively, Ryan Bergara is Trying His Best Thanks

My notes: Normally not a raising-a-child-fic person, but holy smokes this was written so well and the fluff! the domesticity i-

Pushing All Your Buttons by beethechange— 9k, Explicit

Summary: Ryan and Shane get stuck in an elevator at Buzzfeed HQ. There is tension. They relieve the tension. That’s it, that’s the fic.

My notes: I was literally able to see the tension floating off my laptop in front of my face, it was so palpable.

Under 20k

like you want to be loved by poetdameron— 16k, Teen and Up

Summary: "Settle down with me", Shane says without thinking and as Ryan looks at him with wide open eyes, all he can think of it's how many of Ryan's secrets he knows, how Ryan likes his coffee, and the fact that he has loved him since the moment Ryan first looked up at him and smiled.

My notes: The PINING and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT and ANGST my god. Really well written and lovely happy ending.

ships that pass in the night by beethechange— 20k, Explicit

Summary: The more Ryan thinks about it, the more he thinks he just needs to return the favor, that’s all. And then it’ll be done, like it was meant to be done weeks ago, and they can both move on for real.

It’s not that he wants to. It’s that he won’t be able to stop thinking about it until he evens the score. He has to restore balance to the Force or order to the universe, or—or whatever. It’s a karma thing.

“I think you have to let me jerk you off,” Ryan tells Shane one night. They’re working late, alone in the Watcher office, one of many such late nights these days.

“Wh—here?” Shane asks. He looks around, baffled, like he’ll have been magically transported somewhere else. “Have to?” And then: “Let you?”

My notes: haha what if I dare you to jerk me off dude haha don’t be a chicken

Do you not know how love works? by leylines— 12k, No Rating

Summary: “Fuck you, man,” Ryan growled, rubbing his tailbone where he landed on when he fell down just moments ago.

“I’m pretty sure that’s what Devon already thinks we’re doing,” Shane said cheerfully, not at all sounding bothered by the thought.

“Oh shut up, dude.”

My notes: One of my favourite things in this cold, dark universe is when two characters are dating but they don’t know it but everyone else does. This is so hilarious and warms my dead heart

Full-Court Press by beethechange— 12k, Explicit

Summary: To be clear, these are not tactics Ryan would recommend. Being an athleisure-obsessed pervert, and lying, and clothes-sabotage: these are not things he’s proud of.

But they have undeniably worked.

Shane’s standing next to him in the hotel lobby while Devon checks them all out of their rooms, and he's wearing a sleeveless purple Lakers jersey and the world’s softest, clingiest sweatpants. It’s so exactly as Ryan pictured it, so precisely in line with his fantasies, that he has to pinch himself.

My notes: Really hot and funny and p i n i n g

may your days be merry and bright by bodhirookes— 19k, General Audiences

Summary: “Your turn, Ry Ry.”

Ryan looks down to find only one piece of paper remaining. “Wow, so much selection to choose from.”

“No time for your negativity, Scrooge. Your Secret Santa deserves a better attitude.”

Ryan sticks his tongue out, but takes the slip of paper. He’s loudly yelling Give me Jen, please please please give me Jen as he unfolds it, but he’s too busy begging for her to be truly prepared for what he ends up getting:

A simple but damning SHANE in Andrew’s scribbly handwriting.

Or, Ryan gets Shane for Secret Santa and has a subsequent breakdown about what to get him

Notes: This is so sweet and cute and I would die for both of them. A lovely classic christmas fic!

want you in my room by beethechange— 13k, Explicit

Summary: As they watch, Tall Guy takes his beanie off, revealing a mess of thick, shiny brown hair. He runs his hand through it to shake out the hat hair and Ryan feels like he’s stuck in an Herbal Essences commercial, except he’s the one making inappropriate lustful noises.

Ryan adjusts his snapback, determined. He is, after all, wearing his very finest basketball shorts, without even a single hole at the hem, and the knowledge puts an extra spring in his step.

“I’m gonna climb that dude like a tree,” he tells Curly.

My notes: Just really dumb, cute pining in a wonderful frat boy/nerd college AU!

Long boys

Muscles Better and Nerves More by beethechange— 26k, Explicit

Summary: “I’m serious,” Ryan says. “Don’t go fucking up my body. I want that shit back in the same condition I left it.”

“The same condition—Ryan. I’m not spending hours in a gym every day so you don’t lose muscle mass.”

“I want you to treat my body with the respect you would a national park. Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but memories.”

***

A certain meddling Voodoo Queen of New Orleans thinks Ryan and Shane need some new perspective on life. After an inadvisable ritual deposits Ryan in Shane’s body, and Shane in Ryan’s, the ghoulboys pursue some soul-searching and self-discovery to put things right. Sometimes in a sexy way.

My notes: This is so sexy and in character! A freaky friday kinda scenario where they only switch back when they pull their figurative heads out of their asses. So wonderful.

Dreams to be daring for by allonsy_gabriel— 24k, General Audiences

Summary: On May 11, 2018, Eleanora Rose Austin was born in Chicago, Illinois.

On May 20, 2018, Shane Alexander Madej agreed to act as the godfather to his best friend from college's daughter.

On October 26, 2018, Olivia and Michael Austin were victims of a mugging gone sideways.

On October 29, 2018, Shane Madej found himself in the possession of one real, actual, human child.

My notes: Accidental Baby Acquisition is now my favourite trope because of this fic. The fact that they’re already acting like a couple with the baby before they actually become one is sooo beautiful,,, give it a read im begging you

Fifty Shades of Gold by beethechange— 21k, Explicit

Summary: Shane tires of doing the same bits over and over. He tires of telling the same stories until they all, him and Ryan and the fans, have every beat memorized. Whenever Ryan pulls out his Ricky Goldsworth impression, ah yes, that old chestnut, Shane plays along only begrudgingly. He’s bored.

That’s his official position: he’s over Ricky Goldsworth.

Shane’s unofficial position, regrettably, is that he’d rather be under Ricky Goldsworth.

My notes: Shane’s got the hots for Ricky Goldsworth and that’s the TEA. Lots of sexual tension and cute and unsure! Ryan!

Precious metals by StrikerEureka— 73k, Mature

Summary: Ryan and Shane have been moving around something that is coming to a head between them. After a car accident, on the way to an investigation, Ryan slowly starts to become suspicious that Shane might not be what he seems. He realizes, though, that he just might not care.

Shane sits forward suddenly. “Hey, pull over up here.”

Ryan follows the instruction without questioning it, which probably says something about either his willingness to listen to Shane or his sanity. Maybe both; they go hand in hand. He puts on his blinker, even though they haven’t seen another car in a couple of minutes, and pulls off onto the shoulder.

“Are you gonna puke or something?” he asks, putting the car into park, as Shane takes off his seatbelt with one hand and tugs off his Ray Bans with the other.

“You better hope not,” he murmurs as he leans over the center console and kisses Ryan solidly on the mouth.

My notes: My favourite Demon!Shane AU ever! Really sweet and loads of tension and pining... must-read.

darling it’s a faded notion by varnes— 28k, Explicit

Summary: The sun is too bright and Ryan’s whole body is alight with something that is eating him all the way up from the inside out, but he keeps his eyes open and he makes himself look, and he tells himself that once he finds Shane, he’ll think about it. Once he finds Shane, they’ll make a plan. Once he finds Shane, and only then, he’ll let himself have the thought he’s been swallowing down like bile since he came to: that they didn’t fall.

They were pushed.

OR: Ryan and Shane get cursed by a ghost, and now they can't be not-touching. It's ... not great.

My notes: They get cursed and have to be touching all the time!! and they’re pining so hard y’all like what more could one want

Bed-warm Hands and the Ghost of Elvis by MiraclesofPaul— 21k, Teen and Up

Summary: They get used to sharing a bed while filming the show. Ryan's just trying not to let his feelings get in the way.

So Ryan tells himself he’s going to ride out whatever it is they’ve fallen into, but he’ll bow out gracefully when the time comes. He can just enjoy the now.

My notes: They share a bed!!! And their hearts!! so much lack of communication, it’s wonderful

Hope that someone will enjoy these fics that I did so very much! If you want more buzzfeed unsolved fics let me know because i’ve read sooo much fanfiction...

—Iris

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 198: A Pair of Chuunis

Previously on BnHA: Shinsou, Tsuyu, Kaminari, Kirishima, and Kouda (henceforth known as Team A) faced off against Shiozaki, Tsuburaba, Shishida, and Rin (Team B). Kiri, Kouda, and Tsubu were captured, making it 3 VS 3. Tsuyu covered Shinsou and Kami with her disgusting frog mucus in order to mask their scent so class B wouldn’t be able to track their movements. They then purposely allowed Kaminari to get captured as a distraction to let Shinsou get close enough to Shiozaki to ensnare here with his quirk. Realizing what had happened, Shishida stopped talking so as not to fall under Shinsou’s control himself. However this also left him unable to communicate with his remaining teammate, and Rin was shortly thereafter taken out by Tsuyu. Shishida was knocked out shortly after that, and so Team A ended up winning the match, giving class 1-A the lead as we enter the second round.

Today on BnHA: Aizawa and Vlad provide their respective students with constructive criticism following the match. Meanwhile the remaining 8 teams begin to plan out their strategies, including Monoma who is excited to have the chance to work together with Shinsou, particularly after witnessing the first match. It turns out he’s not the only one interested in what Shinsou can do, as Aizawa and Vlad reveal to All Might and Midnight that today’s exercise is doubling as Shinsou’s exam determining whether or not he should be admitted into the hero course. The second round of battles begins, with Team MomoYamaTokoKure facing off against Team KendouKuroMangaToadette. Kendou is excited to be battling Momo, as she considers the two of them to be rivals, and feels that up until now Momo has been outshining her. Meanwhile Kuroiro from class B bonds with Tokoyami over their mutual goth aesthetic before the two teams split off to get things started. Toko sends out Dark Shadow to do recon, only to have Kuroiro -- whose quirk allows him to move freely within the color black -- hitch a ride back to Team A’s location. The two prepare to clash, and Toko gets ready to show off a new technique he’s apparently learned from Hawks.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my mostly-unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’m caught up with the manga now at chapter 222, so any ETAs will reflect that.)

my man Aizawa out here making sure I continue to stan him

this is school after all!

and oh my god this title

you know it’s the Momo chapter when...

goddammit Kirishima’s self-esteem issues are acting up again

does anyone know if that “staring at yourself in the mirror and psyching yourself up by reminding yourself that you’re cool and awesome” thing actually works? maybe he should try that. he’s so good at complimenting other people but he’s so damn hard on himself. why are all shounen characters like this

Kouda says he needs to get better at issuing detailed orders to insects

good god Kouda, if you improve on your quirk you’re going to be fucking terrifying aren’t you

and I know I just said all shounen characters are too hard on themselves, but then along comes Kaminari to prove me wrong!

you were great, buddy. 10/10 I stan one adaptable and clever electric boy. I would pit you and Mina up against Rat Principal all over again because I bet you two would crush it now

(ETA: not to mention that as Jirou will shortly point out, he’s skirting on the edge of falling into his usual derp mode here -- but he’s managing to retain his senses for the most part, which is extremely impressive given how much electricity he put out in that fight, first against Shishida and then later against Shiozaki. Kaminari!! you’ve become stronger!)

Tsuyu says she wanted to win without any casualties and she regrets losing two of her teammates

Shinsou, who did amazing for his first time, says it was “incredibly frustrating” and that he wasn’t able to apply even ten percent of what he’s learned

kid, take that frustration and channel it into becoming even more determined to fulfill your dreams! that’s the upside of being a shounen character who’s too harsh on himself! you learn and you keep getting stronger, okay?

see, and Aizawa’s telling him the same thing

wow so he didn’t master it until he was out of school, then? or did he start on that before he entered U.A.?

say, aren’t we due some Aizawa flashbacks soon? this is the arc the manga was on when I first started reading, so it seems to be about that time I’d say

(ETA: so what is it exactly that made people have all these headcanons about him knowing the Iida family as a kid? I know he and Tensei are both in Vigilantes, so I’m guessing now it has something to do with that. lol and here I thought we were going to get a whole backstory. instead we’ve had all of one panel’s worth of flashbacks, and that was very recent and we apparently don’t know what the deal is with that yet except that he had some sort of cloudy friend that he doesn’t want to talk about. not that I’m not loving that, mind you; it’s just not what I was expecting. I really gotta start Vigilantes don’t I. maybe this weekend)

oh my god

I’m a simple girl, I see Jirou losing her damn shit over Kaminari and I hit like and subscribe for more great content

and yes, Aoyama, they do seem to be taking this much more seriously than the others. thinking about what would have happened in a real life situation. and I mean, that’s not a bad thing per se, but it’s just... they’re still kids. and already thinking about death and other worst-case scenarios because they’ve experienced it firsthand now. and man but that’s rough

now Aizawa is giving them his own pointers

he’s such a good teacher I love him so much

meanwhile Vlad is chewing out his own students

didn’t Horikoshi describe his teaching approach as being gentler than Aizawa’s? was that just because he doesn’t expel entire classes at the drop of a hat? sure not seeming real gentle right now lol

(ETA: strut strut)

excuse me Monoma who is the teacher here

but he says that despite the loss, he���s satisfied because they showed the rest of them “something marvelous”

(ETA: strut strut)

yeah, I’ve been wondering about that. he probably can’t wait to try that quirk out for himself

man if Monoma bonds with Shinsou and then Shinsou ends up joining 1-A I am going to laaaaaaugh

(ETA: lol except for the fact that I sorta kinda ship it now oh shit)

and they have an advantage over the class A Shinsou team since they actually have some time to prepare

wow they’re all strategizing now

friendly reminder that I love all of these kids and would die for them

and yes you, Todoroki. humility is all well and good but let’s not kid ourselves. you’re a powerhouse and you need to own it

I have no doubt that Team BakuJirouSeroSatou is going to crush this and I can’t waiiiit

(ETA: THEY SO CRUSHED IT)

and who fucking asked you, C-3PO. maybe they can’t have spare parts installed, but human bodies literally heal themselves given just a bit of time and rest. we don’t need to sit here and be dragged by someone who can’t even pass a damn turing test okay

All Might is reflecting on how much everyone has grown. he sure does that a lot

I guess. and also a way to finally introduce the other 20 U.A. first years after 200 fucking chapters lol

hey what

what is it. what’s with those faces. y’all wanna throw down or what?? bring it

oh they just want to know what they thought about Shinsou

All Might is so good I love you All Might

!!

oh shit. so spoiler alert I guess he passes lol

is he aware that it’s a test? is this another one of your Logical Ruses you deceitful hobo

yessssssssss!

I honestly can’t fathom how a team with both Momo and Tokoyami could possibly lose. they’ve even got Aoyama “saving the day in the clutch” Yuuga and Hagakure “I’m the friggin’ traitor” Tooru for fuck’s sake

by the way, Hagakure’s right fist is facing out but isn’t that weird? wouldn’t it make more sense to have your fist facing toward you for this kind of “pumped and ready to go” gesture? idk why it bothers me. maybe because she’s literally only hands so you could at least get that one detail right lmao

and have I mentioned how much I love Momo’s cape. now if only they’d get her a fucking zipper good grief

that kid from class B who speaks in literal dialogue bubbles is freaking named Manga and I can’t you guys

I have no problem with calling Kuroiro by his name, but I’m pretty sure that legally I have to continue referring to Komori as Toadette. I don’t make the rules you guys

Kendou is asking Momo why she didn’t enter the beauty contest during the cultural festival

have I mentioned lately that Aizawa is the best dad? I have? well it never hurts to say it yet again. Momo had more important things to worry about than participating in the least rational annual event this school puts on

oh right, somehow I forgot that these two did their workplace experience together. actually can I just call it a fucking internship even if it wasn’t an internship internship? y’all still know what I mean anyway so come on

this is an odd thing to bring up now and I can’t help but think Kendou’s trying to get into Momo’s head somehow

(ETA: nope. just bein’ rivals)

oh, Hagakure’s bringing up that one guy at the festival who kept cheering for Momo. I had been wondering about that. so he was a fan of theirs from the commercial they did then? who the hell stans someone from just a single commercial

yes

ooh, hidden dark side from Kendou all of a sudden!

I mean, on the one hand I don’t like Kendou getting jealous because these badass ladies should be supporting one another, not harboring jealous thoughts and insecurities

but on the other hand she’s not wrong about Momo though trufax

okay good, this seems healthy enough

A WHOLESOME LADY RIVALRY, EH? BRING IT

oh my god

imagine going from drawing Shiozaki to drawing this guy. Horikoshi must be filled with relief right now

oh my god Kuroiro’s quirk is apparently amazing!?

holy shit?? WHIP OUT THAT DARK SHADOW AND TEST IT OUT! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR

lmao

if these two don’t watch it they are gonna cut themselves to ribbons on ALL THAT EDGE

so then is Hagakure gonna clash with Toadette. or Manga

so now round two is officially starting, and Sero is asking his friendly neighborhood Tetsutetsu about Kendou, Tetsu’s crush

I ship these two kids so hard. he adores her

lol he says that if she wasn’t around the whole class would have been “indoctrinated” by Monoma

he says she’s the big sister of class B

yeah, so basically the Momo

and now Todoroki is thoughtfully chiming in

you know, operation? as in scheme? as in whatever plan Momo’s thought up using the intellect that’s put her on at the very top of what is probably the most brilliant class in U.A. history?

so now we’re cutting to Team B, and Kendou is saying that they should wait and see what Team A has in store first, since even though they know their basic quirks, they don’t know what improvements they’ve made and what special moves they’ve come up with

go fuck him up Kuroiro! I know I shouldn’t be rooting for you, but I’m so fucking curious to see if you can use Tokoyami’s quirk against him omg

meanwhile we’re cutting back to Team A, and Tokoyami is reporting to the others that Dark Shadow has located Team B

oh shit

TOKOYAMI THEY GOT YO BOY

Dark Shadow’s zooming toward them now and Tokoyami’s shouting at everyone to disperse

HE LOOKS SO SAD OH NO

KUROIRO YOU ASSHOLE WHY ARE YOU MY NEW CLASS B FAVE

Hagakure is all “Kuroiro popped out from inside Dark Shadow!” as though everyone else didn’t just watch that happen right along with her

Momo’s flinging some ninja nets at Kuro but he’s dodging!

I LOVE IT

HOLY SHIT TOKOYAMI IS RIPPED. WHEN DID THAT FUCKING HAPPEN. WHERE WERE THOSE ARM MUSCLES DURING THE POOL EPISODE, JESUS

(ETA: and I’ll have you know Horikoshi even specifically described his arms as “fairly thin” when he did his little bio in chapter 101! so this is a recent fucking development. bird boy been hittin the gym)

also he sure does have a lot of natural enemies doesn’t he. his quirk is so powerful but it has a lot of weaknesses

and lmaoooooo at “a pair of chuunis” holy fucking christ

how is this chapter over already?? oh well, we’re almost at 200, let’s keep going and check out Toko’s new technique

[tattooshopinburnsville-blog]

Finding A Reputable Tattoo Shop three Easy Ways To Find A Great Tattoo Shop

It's clean sufficient to find a save in which you may get a tattoo to your frame in an hour or so, but locating a reputable tattoo shop is what many people getting a tattoo attempt to do.

Finding a reputable tattoo keep is virtually essential, due to the fact a tattoo will never come off of your frame, so making without a doubt certain you have got discovered the proper vicinity is critical.

Some easy tips for finding a good tattoo store:

Ask other human beings. If you have got buddies, family or co-employees which have tattoos you can without problems ask them where they were given their tattoo, and whether or no longer their experience become suitable or bad.

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If they determined a good tattoo keep to get their paintings carried out, they'll be glad to refer you to the place where they got their frame artwork executed.

Go into some tattoo stores and ask some questions. Don't be afraid to look at the artists portfolios, and ask questions. If you have in no way had a tattoo performed earlier than, it is able to be a bit intimidating. In my reviews even though, tattoo stores can result in assembly some virtually brilliant human beings.

Ask about their sterilization techniques. Any authentic keep will be happy to tell you that they most effective use new needles, and they adhere to strict public health recommendations for their clients. A grimy, or lazy tattoo store will now not be in commercial enterprise for long these days, so finding a good tattoo save must be truely smooth.

Tattoo artists should adhere to strict guidelines for "invasive frame decorations" and consequently require a license, as set via the Health Department of your town. Any mounted and reputable tattoo shop in eagan in town will be well certified and could abide with the aid of relevant fitness regulations.

They ought to be using an autoclave to sterilize any device that is not disposed of after every tattoo, and that they ought to without a doubt be the usage of tattoo needles best once. If they reuse needles or different device that need to be disposed of, they're not the proper save for you.

Look at the artist's portfolio. Today's tattoo artists do some actually splendid paintings, and that they love to show it off. Their portfolio is actually the high-quality way to study their beyond paintings to determine if their artistic fashion will healthy your private desires.

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[hl-secret-santa-2020]

Black Mesa Christmas

( @lapestelareste I’m your secret Santa! )

Gordon’s indifference to the cold environment and robotic announcements of Black Mesa was offset by his astonishment toward the experiments and his generally amiable colleagues. Not so much the other scientists, however, where they lost their patience for Gordon’s active and odd tendencies. He instead managed to have a better time talking with the security guards, who appreciated his benignly chaotic behavior for killing the boredom and being less uptight than the researchers.

Even so, there was little he could talk to them about. Their knowledge of physics was varied, but most tended to have only a high school level of understanding. Gordon’s own shyness to starting casual conversations made that gap of interests daunting to him.

During one of his breaks, he was about to go his locker when he saw someone’s open. It was from a B. Calhoun, a security guard he had met who mentioned wanting a beer in ear-shot of the administrator. While he’d feel bad peeping at private belongings, his curiosity tempted him to go for a quick one second look. His eyes widened when he saw a collection of books that had conspiracy theories about aliens living on Earth. He must be into science fiction! That’s something they could bond over!

Despite his stilted way of talking, Gordon was clearly trying to befriend Calhoun, who had introduced himself as Barney. He was more confident in speaking despite his odd interests, and he was able to chat it up with Gordon over aliens, which would then transform into more mundane talks about their backgrounds and other hobbies.

Barney once talked about growing up as a latch-key kid, and he would use his freedom to roam the neighborhood for adventures and finding weird things from obscure music records to substances only adults knew about. During one of these times, Barney said he found a video cassette that proved aliens were out there. The footage was a very grainy recording of a small, lanky humanoid roaming a wooded hill. There was no music and the only sounds were the sound of leaves being crumbled under its feet. Gordon was suspicious of this but played along. He could not deny either that such a visual would be burned into his own memory if he saw it at a young age.

“Here’s the thing, Gordon,” Barney looked at him with serious conviction. “I can’t tell for sure if that was an incredibly weird looking guy in a suit. But that’s an awful lot of good effects to waste on a student film.”

Gordon tried to say something but ended up making an expression of uncertainty.

“Either way, I know you probably think I’m gullible ‘cause I don’t have a PhD or anything fancy.” Gordon shook his head quickly in a neurotic display of sympathy. “Just wanted to tell you that since you don’t look like you’d shrug off that kind of stuff. Hell, I don’t think I told anyone else about that.”

Gordon smiled and reassured him that his secret was safe with them.

“Good,” Barney replied laconically. “And if I ever do find that thing again, you bet your ass I’m gonna catch him. I’ve practiced karate every day of my life.” Barney prepared some stock martial arts movements as Gordon reflexively put his hand to cover his face. Gordon lowered his hand and said that he’d pay Barney a beer if the alien was ever found, to which Barney grinned with acceptance and shook his hand.

As the holiday season was approaching, Gordon had anxiety over what to gift his new best buddy. He knew Barney liked to talk about “the truth”, whatever that meant. Aliens were another thing, but he was pretty sure aliens would be too hard to find. Think Gordon, think!

Doing what any other man would do in a tricky situation, he crawled into the facility’s air-vents to peek through the other rooms to get ideas. The other personnel were initially frightened by this rat-like human prowling above them and waiting to fall at any time, but they grew used to it after a few weeks. He could not find anything sticking out to him, however, only finding scientists in Santa hats and some holiday decorations scattered across the hydraulic robots and experimental teleporters.

Overhead he could hear and then see several scientists bicker over whether they could locate Santa Claus in another dimension and bring him here. All while wearing elf and reindeer clothing. Gordon tried to stifle his laughing to remain being stealthy, as though the metallic echoes of his hands and knees were silent. He stopped briefly after a surprise announcement by the automatic VOX that said “Ho. Ho. Ho. Merry. Christmas.”

Gordon’s ideas were not getting anywhere, and his mind was stuck in a rut. He was not good at creating gifts, but he did not want to buy a generic gift to a new friend. He was growing more impatient and disappointed in himself for not knowing what to do, thinking he was taking the friendship for granted.

In the moment of frustration, he thought back to the story Barney talked about with the weird tape. If there was a way to use that as a gift, Gordon thought, he would be giving a great Christmas present. But figuring how to turn something like that into a gift would be tricky. He did not want to pretend to see the alien as he was a poor liar, and he was not good at making costumes or directing movies.

While lost n thought, he heard another sudden sound. Instead of the VOX, however, it was the teleporter he could see behind the air vent’s bars. The orange ethereal light had shot out something unusual. A football-sized creature with stubby legs and much longer forelegs. It had no features on its surface other than a light brown skin. It lunged out, exposing a toothy hole on its underside, which was only stopped by the glass cage containing it.

Gordon was awe-struck at this, and we was not sure if this was a real honest-to-God alien or an advanced machine prop. Either way, he thought that showing this to Barney would be a fantastic gift. A bizarre creature like this had to be what the holidays were for! But Gordon had to be careful. Security personnel were not allowed to see the experiments, and he did not have a camera on him.

He traversed his way back to Barney to tell him about the newfound organism. Barney was surprisingly very skeptical, in contrast to how Gordon thought he would react. Even with his frantic gesturing, Gordon couldn’t convince him.

“Hell, Gordon, you know I’m not even supposed to be near the scientists. That’s just asking for a dent in my paycheck.” Gordon put his finger on his chin and pondered how to convince him without too many risks. Grinning, Gordon pointed to the ventilation shaft and explained how to see the creature without rousing suspicion.

“Uh-uh. Gordon. That thing shouldn’t even hold one person. There is no way I’m going to be huddled in there just to see an alien.

Moments later, Barney found himself following Gordon through the air vents. His frown aside, Barney followed Gordon despite his pessimism. Gordon’s own enthusiastic smile, like a kid opening up a large present, was enough to guile him. Along the way, Barney talked about what Gordon’s background was like to pass the time.

Gordon was hesitant, and his mood lowered in response, causing Barney to change the subject. Gordon conceded anyway to explain. Gordon said his childhood was not rough and he did grow up in a loving family, but that a lot of times during school were full of isolation because of his eccentric behavior. He resumed by saying he didn’t have many close friends, and that was why he didn’t want to disappoint Barney.

“Sorry to hear that, buddy. But as far as friends go, you found one of the best, so it’ll take more than a few weird things like… whatever we’re doing now… to stop that.”

Gordon nodded softly and went on as he neared the part that was overhead of the creature, which he would describe in vague terms about its size and legs. Barney was not convinced, but he enjoyed the novel way he was traveling as they talked. Gordon peeked through the bars to get a better look at the strange animal, but he found an empty glass cage in its place.

His voice was strained, and he struggled to find any words, instead being baffled and saying that he swore he saw the alien in that spot. He started to ramble about how maybe a scientist took it away, or that maybe it escaped, which only increased his fear. He was holding onto his hair and scratching his head out of confusion until Barney put his hand on his shoulder.

“Woah hang on there. Look, I don’t know if you were pulling my leg or if you really saw something, but it’s not worth having a breakdown over.” Gordon slowed his breathing and looked back at Barney. “This was a hell of an adventure anyway, and it was just fun going through this weird maze. You could hear everyone talking about science stuff that doesn’t matter.” Gordon nodded and gave a bit of a smile after that pun Barney made, whether he realized it or not.

“Honestly, I don’t even celebrate Christmas that much. Too much focus on commercialized crap.” This prodded Gordon to ask what he usually celebrated on this holiday season.

“Festivus!”

Gordon stared at him with a stoic look before cracking up, his sudden giddy laughter echoing through the halls and startling all the scientists. Barney became confused and asked what was so funny. After getting no answers from the still-laughing scientist, he shrugged and let Gordon do his thing as he started to smile too.

[gainesgillespie8-blog]

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[huntingtreestand-blog]

Hunting Tree Stand. Deer Hunting Tree Stands.

Why You Need a Hunting Tree Stand

For those who don’t want to or physically can’t spend hours and hours doing the oldtime walk and stalk hunting, hunting tree stands are a great alternative.  

Tree stands allow the hunter to sit or stand for long periods of time and watch for game with a bird’s eye view of the lands below.  Properly placed, they allow the whitetail hunter to find a good spot and just wait for the game to go by and take his best shot.  

Long before commercial meat raising and slaughterhouse operations, man was no doubt dependent upon hunting the local environment for food. 

 For centuries, he used whatever tactics available to succeed at bringing home dinner, including climbing trees to hide and watch for prey.  In the 1970’s, technology caught up with what hunters had always done and the manufactured tree stand hit the American market.

Portable hunting tree stands quickly made random and risky perching on tree branches a thing of the past.  Several decades later, improvements have made prefab hunting tree stands a convenient (and if used responsibly, safe) way to bag a trophy whitetail.  

All it takes is a little understanding of whitetail behavior and the patience to adhere to a few simple rules of the game to successfully use a tree stand.  There are now so many makers and styles in different price ranges that any whitetail hunter has access to the stand of his or her choice.  

This has been a great boon for the last few decades of whitetail hunters and stand hunting has become almost an art.  As with any other part of this great sport, the years of trial and error have led to a lot of wisdom out there among hunters.

Where to place Tree Stand

The first and most obvious thing to learn when using a tree stand is that

it must be placed near a spot where deer are likely to be.  It doesn’t do any good to just pick a nice tree and set up shop.  

At least a couple of weeks ahead of time (and a month may be better), the hunter needs to go out and scout for a good location and determine the usual wind patterns.  

Ideally, placement should be where there are obvious trails or funnels or nearby feeding spots such as acorn laden oak trees, corn fields or other crops, water sources or bedding areas. 

Choosing a juncture of several trails naturally increase the hunter’s odds as deer may approach from several directions. Since whitetail are fairly predictable in their habits, it’s not overly difficult to determine their path from bed to feeding or to follow trails of buck scrapes to determine their usual pathways. 

 All that’s left for the hunter, when placing his tree stand, is to make sure that he is downwind enough to avoid being scented (and realize that savvy bucks will usually skirt a bedding or feeding area from several yards away downwind to test the area before making their approach) and to place it within an appropriate shooting range for his weapon. 

For a bow hunter this would likely be as close as possible, say from 15 to 25 yards, while a rifle could allow for distances of 50 to even 300 yards, depending on the marksman’s skill.  

Of course, it’s also important to have a fairly unobscurred line of sight in order to have a clean shot.

Safety Considerations 

The condition of the tree stand needs to be carefully inspected prior to each use.  A little practice at ground level in the backyard is a great idea before taking a new stand out – not only will this familiarize the hunter with it before it’s 15 to 25 feet in the air, but it will also reveal any squeaks and rattles that need taken care of beforehand.  

Reading the manufacturer’s instructions is not just for wusses – it’s just common sense to get to know a piece of equipment that’s made to hold a couple hundred pound hunter a few stories off the ground.

 Equally important, the tree stand needs to be carefully set up once it’s in country in order to allow for a safe climb. 

 Far too many hunters have been injured, disabled or killed by one careless moment – tree stands are not for anyone who is shaky, intoxicated or afraid of heights.  (Even a common cold or sinus pill can affect balance and alertness – things that are vital to anyone climbing to these kinds of heights.)

If using tree pegs, they shouldn’t be placed more than a foot apart and should be double checked to see that they are secure.  Ladder stands need some concealment to hide the steps but this can’t be so thick and close that the climber will get tangled up in it. 

When possible, setting a ladder stand up a few weeks prior to a hunt will enable it to blend in both scent- and sight-wise plus give any nervous deer time to get used to its presence. The platform needs to be secure, without any wiggling, and the hunter should be able to climb up and lower himself instead of attempting to drag his body up over the edge. 

 The hunter should not attempt the climb burdened down with gear.  Guns should be unloaded, arrows secured and all equipment should be fetched up to the tree stand via a tow rope once the hunter is in place.  Common sense says the six pack should left back at camp.

Stands should be securely strapped to a sturdy, healthy and straight tree preferably where there is a little cover from surrounding trees. It’s good to position the hunting stand so that there is a little flexibility in order to see deer approach and leave and to be above the trail enough to minimize detection from sight and scent.  

This will give better odds than just a straight on view or allow a chance for a second shot if it’s needed.  Intruding branches can be carefully removed to allow for good vision; this can be done from the ground with a long-handled pruner if it’s easier.

 Removing enough branches to give two or three shooting lanes will help also. It’s a balance – there needs to be enough cover or a blind so that an alert whitetail deer is less likely to notice any movement from the hunter but the hunter obviously wants to be able to see in as many directions as possible.

At any time when climbing or sitting in the stand, the hunter should wear safety straps, preferably a fall arrest system/full body harness approved by the Treestand Manufacturers Association, a group that has done its homework on tree stand safety. (A lot of great information can be found on their website at www.tmastands.com.) 

 It’s also not recommended that anyone use the old fashioned homebuilt wooden stands.  They are too subject to weather damage, rot and loose ladder rungs, etc.  Wood, left out in the weather can also grow a treacherous slippery layer, not to mention get a frost film that makes footing dangerous.

  It’s not worth the risk to life and limb to maybe save a few dollars with the do-it-yourself route when there are so many safer and tested options on the market.

Once the hunter has gotten and inspected his stand, learned how to use it safely and picked what’s hopefully the perfect spot for it, a final precaution that he should take before the hunt is to let someone know where he’s going.  

Tree stand hunting with a buddy is great but if this isn’t possible, the smart hunter will notify the game warden or let family and friends know where to look for him if he doesn’t return on time.  Even with a harness, a person can die hanging from the tree if no-one knows where to find him.  

Communication devices like walkie talkies and cell phones are a good extra precaution if hunting in range of signals. At the very least a good whistle is better than nothing.  

These items need to be carried in a pocket or secured to a belt where they can be accessed in the event of a fall – they won’t do any good if they are ten feet above on the platform while the hunter is dangling from the tree.

  Accidents can happen, even to the most experienced hunter – it’s only smart to be as prepared as possible to get out of a bad situation.

Benefits of a Hunting Tree Stand

Hunting tree stands can give the hunter a great vantage point to watch for the big ones, a real bird’s eye view of the surrounding terrain and deer hiding spots.  

They allow sitting or standing in relative comfort instead of tramping through wet woods and snow covered fields all day loaded down with gear. 

Properly used, knowing both the gear and the prey, tree hunting stands can mean the difference between bagging that trophy buck and returning to camp with nothing more than cold feet and a bad attitude.