#bad bad astarion

[morgana-ren]

Just had the most fucked up thought of all time:

Ascended Vampire Lord Astarion with a beloved consort that was finally able to escape his grasp. After years, she's finally able to secret herself away and slip her chains, running from him and going into hiding so that he can never drag her back again.

It's no secret that he's gone mad, driven to the brink by his obsession with her in her absence. He refuses to simply take another lover or find a willing wife, spending untold resources and wealth trying to find her and coax her back, but she somehow stays hidden from him, somehow just out of his reach--

--However, he refuses to let her go.

Instead, he becomes slightly unhinged.

Astarion barters with a devil once again, only this time, it's for possession of a succubus. A very particular succubus who knows of his wayward little lover, and just so happens to have her form tucked away in her repertoire thanks to their earlier adventures.

He commands Haarlep to take her image each and every time he fucks her. It's the only way he'll sleep with anyone else-- the only way he'll find release while she is gone.

And Tav knows every time he's ravaging her because she can feel it. Feel his hands ghost across her body, squeezing the rounds of her neck until she can't breathe, scratching down her spine until she bleeds-- she feels all of it through this succubus' infernal connection. She is forced to acknowledge his power over her— his utter obsession with her— day in and day out, being violated by him over and over again even as she's finally escaped him.

Each time he takes the succubus, he is reminding her what he's done to her— what he'll do to her again when he gets his hands on her. His fucked up little way of saying "I'm thinking about you, darling" as he violates her body and mind, and no matter what she does, she cannot escape it. A ticking clock counting down the hours until he can touch her again.

She cannot hide forever.

It's only a matter of time, and every time she feels the phantom warmth flood between her thighs, or the tightness in her throat that leaves her with an aching jaw, or the sharp, miserable pain in her backside that has her hobbling for days, she knows he's thinking about her once more.

[lazylittledragon]

at the friday panel andrew wincott said raphael and astarion should go on holiday together and i can’t stop thinking about it

[visenyaism]

me and the bad bitches i pulled by having matching brain parasites that psychically draw our thoughts together

[sclappin]

Man whose definition of "monster" is extremely flexible.

[malacandrax]

What if vampires have terrible cold tolerance? (Elves sleep because I said so.)

[liorlen]

gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that

[ramlightly]

Midnight snack time got a little complicated after the pets joined the camp

[raintides]

i wanted to draw the entire tadpole squad but forgot i am super not great at drawing group pictures. send help

[toxxtt]

started playing bg3. shoutout to my favorite guy

also I love shadowheart so much bc she really just says whatever is on her mind

[artist-rat]

u will always be famous, to me..... (the convo on the right is from this lol)

[beaft]

BG3 is really testing me because my natural inclination in all situations is to be like "well, i think you should do what is best for you :-) <3" and then my companions are inevitably like "i want to kill an angel" "i want to ascend to godhood" "i want to become the most evil vampire in the world" like can we take it down a notch . please

[depressedfungus]

Baldurs gate isn’t a dnd game it’s a really really really hard dress up game

[lazylittledragon]

you know what fuck it we’re doing dadstarion

[bloodhoundbinary]

If Larian keeps adding stuff to the epilogue every time they update, in a couple of years we’re gonna have full-fledged lives, a job and be married with kids in-game.

[mossy-rock-in-a-field]

Several weeks ago, my retirement-age mother requested that I play Baldur’s Gate 3 for her because she has trouble with controllers/keyboards and wanted “to see what all the fuss is about with that cute wizard boy.” For context, my mother and I have done this sort of thing in the past with certain RPGs (dragon age, mass effect, etc.), but it’s been a few years since she’s personally requested a game like this. Basically, I control her Tav but let her make all the choices so she can determine how the story plays out without worrying about mechanics. She treats it like a choose-your-own-adventure book.

Anyway, here is a list of some of the things my mother has said and/or chosen to do throughout the course of BG3 in no particular order:

She is (obviously) romancing Gale. She is quite smitten with him and his passion for books and learning; she also thinks he’s polite and qualifies as “relationship material.” She also REALLY likes the things he’s said about his cat so far (my mom is a cat lady), so I know she’s gonna flip shit when we meet Tara in Act III.

She’s playing a normal druid Tav with a generally good alignment. Her favorite spell is Spike Growth because she thinks it’s hilarious whenever enemies walk into the AOE and die. I usually end up having to cast it at least once per battle per her request. Sometimes twice.

Contrary to her alignment, my mother tasks me with robbing every single chest, crate, barrel, and burlap sack we come across; this also includes people and their pockets. The party is always at max carrying capacity. ALWAYS. She doesn’t like selling things because “what if I need them.” The camp stash is in literal shambles. There is no hope of organizing it. She’s got like fifty seven sets of rags and a billion pieces of random silverware.

She MUST talk to every animal and corpse in the game. I think five hours of her total playtime so far (47ish) has been spent speaking to animals as many times as humanly possible. Like, I was thorough in my own playthroughs, but this is on a whole other level.

She did NOT get Volo’s lobotomy, but she did let Auntie Ethel take her eye in hopes of a cure for the tadpole. I did not understand the logic then. I still do not understand it now.

She is far more interested in fashion than equipment stats. Do you have any idea how much gold I’ve had to spend on dyes just to make things match? SO much. Same vibe as that “please someone help me balance my finances my family is starving” tweet but instead of candles it’s thirty thousand fucking bottles of black and furnace red dye.

We broke the prisoners out of Moonrise, but they got on the boat too early and bugged the fight by leaving Astarion and Karlach behind. Wulbren Bongle somehow got stuck in combat mode even after engaging the cutscene on the docks below Last Light; he he kept trying to run ALL THE WAY BACK TO MOONRISE nine fucking meters at a time while I frantically tried to finish the fight with the Warden, otherwise Wulbren would have run straight into the shadow curse. (I would’ve let him go; fuck Wulbren Bongle, all my homies hate Wulbren Bongle. But my mom didn’t know that, and she wanted to keep him safe. So.)

She had me reload a save like eighteen times to save the giant eagles on top of Rosymorn Monastery. Wouldn’t even let me do non-lethal damage just to get past things. I think getting that warhammer for the dawnmaster puzzle took us like an hour and a half alone. (Yes, I know you can use any warhammer, but SHE didn’t.)

She’s started keeping an irl notebook to keep track of her quests between play sessions. She writes down ideas and strategies when she thinks of them during the week, then brings them to her next game session at my house. I think she wrote about three pages on possible approaches to the goblin fortress alone.

She insists that I pet Scratch and the owlbear cub before every single long rest, no exceptions. Sometimes I have to do it multiple times until she is absolutely sure that the animals know exactly how much she loves and cherishes them. She has also commissioned a crocheted owlbear plush from a friend of hers and is very excited.

I’m sure there’s a bunch of stuff I’m forgetting, but those are some fun things I thought of. She’s enjoying the game and is telling all of her retired friends to get it and play it for themselves. She asked me “what is Discord” yesterday and I think my life flashed before my eyes.

anyway shout out to my mom for being neat

Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

[cheekylittlepupp]