#bad at cooking x even worse at cooking best trope

[goblinbugthing]

hi hi #6 for the oc asks for whatever oc you want

(Ask game here)

6. What is something they are absolutely hopeless at doing? Why?

i must talk about my bastard boy amy

he cant cook for SHIT. he doesnt trust himself with cookware after the last few times he attempted to make himself a snack.

this is because he is my self insert, making him just like me fr, and that means he is very temperature-sensitive and physically weak, and thus cannot cook without becoming overstimulated and/or exhausted.

he depends on hornet for cooking. or he just eats the fruits he can find in greenpath. not the best form of sustenance, but its food all the same.

(holly also cant cook, but to a degree worse than amy. dont trust them with kitchen equipment in any capacity.)

[caxde]

closeness | Steve Harrington x reader

summary you're Hopper's daughter and after the events of the Starcourt mall, and him being pressumed dead, you deal with guilt and grieve, for better or worse, your best friend Steve is dealing with the same thing.

word count: 3.9k (first steve fic i post hope u like it)

warnings fem!reader, angst! (kinda a lot I was in a mood), fluff, hurt/comfort, mutual pining, yearning etc, slowburn bestfriends to lovers, idiots in love!!!, sharing a bed trope, it has some pretty negative self talk and allusion to an anxiety attack...so yeah. english is not my first language so I apologise if there’s some mistakes, not proof read!!

The nights have been lonely lately. 

You did have the option to go far away and escape this town, but when the time came, you were incapable of doing so. 

Here, everything reminded, echoed in a way your father. So it came to no surprise that you stayed back, and Jane had left. 

And yes, of course saying goodbye hurt like a bitch and opened up all types of wounds that you had stitched together, but, you had to. She would be safer in California, miles and miles away from this god-forsaken town. 

And yes, the weather didn’t help. Late November and the cabin was surrounded by snow, cold and quiet. Nothing else but you. Not even the usual chirping of birds that accompanied you throughout spring and autumn were here anymore. So you felt that, alone. 

You knew you weren’t actually alone, but having to ask for help or company felt like a chore that you had no energy to complete, so you rested there. In the middle of your living room, with the fire barely hanging on, the T.V turned off, and no lights shining onto you. It’s not like you liked the darkness, or that it didn’t bother you, you just wanted to lay in it and its familiarity. Swallowed by it almost. 

No chatty banter with him. Not even the smell of his gross cooking filling the air. You hadn’t cooked in your kitchen for months. 

It was expected. Everybody told you that grief is a process and that you can’t rush through it, but… You didn’t feel like that. 

You felt as if all the grief that you felt for him was just all the love you still have for him, that you didn’t get to express, or show and don’t know where to really put it now. Robin suggested getting a dog, and you did laugh at the idea, not because you found it ridiculous or weird, but because you were struggling to take care of yourself, how could you ever take care of another living thing? 

You were spiraling pretty bad, and you did want to call someone, anyone really. It didn’t matter as long as they could hold you and tell you that you weren’t insane for holding onto hope, or believing that maybe he was really alive, or that it was okay not to be okay, that you would get through it and that you are still deserving of love and affection. But you didn’t want to burden anyone. 

Though his name came into your mind. 

As a whisper almost. 

And as fate had it, the phone started to ring, pulling you away from that circle of self-doubt or self-hate? You weren’t even sure anymore. 

So you stand up, pulling yourself together, wiping the tears that started to form in your eyes but hadn’t had the courage to jump out of them. You picked it up, waiting to hear someone’s voice. 

“Hello?” Your voice cracked, you hadn’t spoken in what felt like days.

“Hey Hopper, it’s me.” You winced as you heard your father’s last name, but a soft smile contradicted it, it was Steve’s voice after all. 

“Hey Steve…” You whispered, really trying to hold yourself together now. “Um… what… what’d you want?” You said as you failed to stop the last tear from dropping. 

“I was just checking in… Hadn’t heard from you in a while…” He admits, his voice soft-spoken and calm, you could feel his eyebrows raising and furrowing in his forehead. 

“You called me yesterday…” You said, with a chuckle, trying to hide the fact that you were about to break down and cry. 

“Yeah, well… Something told me you…” He stopped for a second. Your hand grabbing your cheeks tight, hoping that if you had enough strength you would stop crying and would be able to have a normal conversation, not worrying him. “Hey…” He said softly, with a whisper of a voice. “Were you- are you crying?” That was enough for you to actually fall to your knees, hugging yourself as you crumbled. 

“Yeah…” You manage to say, not being able to say anything else, whimpers and fast breathing invading your body. 

“Be there in five.” His voice said, not mean, but harsh. Decided, and yes, worried. 

You tried to say anything to him, something that would make him not worry and not come over here, but it was useless, he had already hung up. 

And you just laid there, in your hard-wood floors, trying to hold your body as you searched for comfort, not really sure if you had the strength to get back up. 

It was all my fault. Itwas all my fault. Itwasall my fault. Itwasallmy fault. Itwasallmyfault. 

Your brain screams at you as you remember your father going down, and Joyce’s face when she had to tell you. 

You don’t know how long it took, or for that matter, how long you had stayed clawing your floor trying to composure yourself. But Steve came through the door. 

He came directly to you and said nothing. He just held you, as you just wept. Eternally grateful for him, but at the same time, incredibly embarrassed that he had to see you like that. 

“I’m sorry.” You managed to whisper, your voice higher than ever before, your eyes burning from the tears. 

You felt the grip of his fingers grow deeper into your skin. 

“Don’t be.” He said, as he played with your hair. “I’m here.” He remained you. 

You nodded, and let your body relax at those words, your head hitting his chest, him just holding you more and more tightly, reassuring you, comforting you. 

“You’re staying at mine from now on.” He declares. His voice, serious, and clear. He grabbed your face, cupping it in between his hands. “You don’t bother. You need to get out of here. And I want you there, okay?” He answers before you can even say nothing to him. You nod, with a shy thank you smile. He nodded as he left a kiss in the crown of your head. 

He stayed in the ground with you until your breathing returned to normal, and you could actually talk without hiccups. He had no rush in making sure you were okay. 

Once you were capable of standing up, he guided you to the sofa, and made you wait there, as he went into your room and packed the essentials. He told you when you tried to tell him off, that he knew it would be easier if he did it now. That you could come tomorrow and grab what you actually wanted or needed. And yeah, he was right. Because he always is when it comes to you. 

-

“D’you need anything?” You ask as you see him getting ready to leave. 

“Oh um… No, think we’re good.” He says as he scans the fridge once again. Coffee pot still hot. 

You give him one of your funny looks, judging him as he runs his fingers through his hair. You leave your chair and walk right next to him, as you eye the mostly empty fridge, his hand still holding the door. 

“Dude, do you really wanna have soup for dinner, again?” You ask him, eyebrows lifted, sarcasm in your voice.

“Well, no. Not really.” He admits, closing the door. Walking back to his mug, raising it to his lips. “But you don’t have to go and get anything, I can do it.” He says, eyes lost on the maroon liquid. 

“Oh, c’mon. I’m the one invading your house, let me do something!” You demand of him, almost begging. 

He nods as he leaves to grab his brown worn-out jacket. Your eyes are set on him, the way he moves, ever so easily, confident in everything he does, even if that is just his routine, you’re amazed by the way his arms glide through the sleeves, and how his head lifts up, hair bouncing, defying gravity all the same. 

His eyes meet yours for just a second. 

“You don’t have to do anything in return you know? I like having you around.” He reassures you. Hands in his pocket, you nod with a polite smile back. He copies your body language, relaxed. “Be back at 8, ‘kay?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” 

Even if he isn’t conscient of it, you catch him muttering under his breath as the entrance door opens. 

“I always worry ‘bout you.” 

Be as it may, it makes you smile. Not really sure why it would, it still does. 

So as you lay in his kitchen, you begin to do what you’ve taken as your routine since he invaded you to live in his house a few weeks ago. You clean the dishes from the night before, and sort out what needs to be sorted out. Laundry and bathroom today. 

You spend a quiet morning doing so, not haunted my memories, not a devastating inner monologue, just that. Stillness and calmness. And it seems as though the weather accompanies you today, with an unusually warm sunlight that crawls through the windows, a promise that today won’t be as freezing as the rest of December has been. 

So you decide that today’s a good day to walk around Hawkins. 

You’ve been borrowing his old walkman, with the stuck mix-tape that Dustin had gifted him god knows when. You put his headphones on your head, and as you press play, you move through his empty house, crawling to the bedroom that he had for visitors. And you do find yourself thinking how strange it is, such a big house, and yet it’s always empty except for him. An absent father, and an out-of-the-map mother. 

Maybe he needed your company just as much as you needed his. 

You smile to yourself at that thought, and how perfect it would be if that was the case. 

When you look at the mirror, you feel as if you're missing something, not quite sure what it might be, you spin around your room, walls still white, you spot a vivid yellow jumper on your floor. So you grab it and put it on, smelling Steve as it lays on top of your body, you’re ready to leave. 

-

“Thank you” He muttered as he finished his last bite. You had decided to eat on the couch, eyes darted at the T.V. 

“Don’t mention it.” You say as you let your plate rest on the coffee table, grabbing your cup of water in the same motion. “I should be thanking you” 

“What for?” He demands, looking at you through his brows, unsure. 

“Letting me stay here. Y’know, everything…” You let out, avoiding his gaze as you darted around the room. 

“How long have we known each other?” He asks all of a sudden, his left hand stroking his face as his eyes finally connect to yours, shocked in response to his question. 

“I dunno, seems like I knew you since I was born” You say, sincerely, your face and body relaxing at him, as his right hand readjust a wisp of your hair that wasn’t quite in place. 

“Exactly. So stop bullshiting me!” He exclaims. You flinch in show of his response, not really sure what to do next, he readjusts himself. Leg climbing up the sofa, his arm resting in it. Pulling closer to you. “I’ve known you my whole life, so please, please don’t lie to me.” He begs, as one of his hands catches yours, in a plea of sincerity and vulnerability. 

“I’m not…” You try to say, as you catch your voice barely coming out of your body, tears bubbling up as your vision gets blurry. A feeling of heaviness invading your chest. Your hand that rested free on the back of the couch is now wiping the beginnings of the tears away, your mouth tasting salty already. 

“But… You are… You can tell me…” He whispers back, the grip he has in your hand growing stronger, his eyes shooting compassion and begging for you to trust in him, to let yourself be seen by him. 

“I just… It’s my fault…” You mutter, as you finally let your walls down, crumbling down, not physically, but you could feel the silent tears not waiting for you to wipe them, as they escape with no order. 

“It wasn’t.” He answers back. 

“It feels like it…” Your voice barely audible, you see his head getting closer so he could hear you. 

“I know it does, but everything that happened… Yeah, it sucks but… Y’know, you’re alive.” Your face flinches at that, yes you are alive but for all that it’s worth, he isn’t and if you had to put words into what you were actually feeling it would be survivors guilt. “And you deserve to be…” He finishes, with his free hand, he pushes hair away from your face, and leaves it there, in the back of it, stroking your hair, hoping he can give you some sort of reassurance. He does. 

“I don't… Not more than he did…” You try to argue. To  no avail, you can see Steve crumbling down, his body moving closer to you now, holding your gaze up to meet his eyes. 

“I think he would think otherwise.” He tells you, as his thumb wipes some of the tears away, soft eyes looking at you, with a sideways smile. 

“Yeah, and he’d be a dick about it..” You whisper, making you both laugh. 

“Oh absolutely he would.” He says, laying your head in his shoulder, as he rests his head on yours, holding you sideways. 

Intimacy growing between the both of you, you enjoy that moment of stillness and quiet. 

-

You usually weren’t able to fall asleep until later in the night, meaning that usually, the sun could be seen waking up when you went down, finding comfort in knowing that sunshine was coming. 

So, as a consequence, you had a habit of saying goodnight to Steve at around ten o’clock at night, when he went upstairs to his bed. You would catch one of the books that his father had laying about and bring it with you, in the room next to him, sharing nothing else but quiet and a wall. 

So you sat down, back to the wall, resting on top of the comfortable and cold bed. Having decided to finally read Pride & Prejudice, you moved your hair out of your way, pulling it up in a ponytail. Still wearing Steve’s yellow sweater, you removed your pants, resting the book in your bare legs, you started to read. 

Before you knew it, you were immersed in it, reading. 

“Chapter 12 

In consequence of an agreement between the sisters, Elizabeth wrote the next morning to their mother, to beg that the carriage might be sent for them in the course of the day. But Mrs. Bennet, who had calculated on her daughters remaining at Netherfield till the following Tuesday, which would exactly finish Jane’s week, could not bring herself to receive them with pleasure before. Her answer, therefore, was not propitious, at least not to Elizabeth’s wishes, for she was impatient to get home…”

Steve’s screaming snapped you out of the world you had immersed yourself in. 

You dropped the book and were rapidly moving across your room, opening his door wide. You find him, his head resting in his hand, chest moving rapidly as he had trouble breathing. His eyes move at you for a moment, though he wants to, and you can tell, he’s not capable of saying anything to you. 

So you don’t say anything. 

Nor did you think about what you were doing. 

Your body just found its way to his, holding him, just like he had hours before. You could feel him leaning his weight into you, his body exhausted and crumbling into yours, so you did what he did for you. You held him, no questions asked. No demands. 

His chest, you could see, was back to its normal rhythm, though you had become distracted by the fact that he wasn’t wearing any shirt or nothing to that matter, but some old pyjama pants. 

His head rested in your shoulder this time, and his lips whispered into your ear, so soft and so deep that it sent tingles to your whole body as he spoke. 

“I’m better… I…” 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me…” You finish for him, as your hand finds itself lost into his hair, something that you never dared to do before. 

You could feel him smiling, as he nodded, hair tickling your cheek as he did so. The warmth between the two of you growing, with a need of touch that you both had met in this moment. 

“I don’t have to leave if you don’t want me to.” You whisper to him. Your head looking down at him, his brown eyes were still shining, even at the dead of night. But then again, they always did when he looked at you. 

So, with no words needed, he opened his side of the blanket and you crawled inside. His body was holding you tight, just as you did to him. Your head in his chest, his hands in your hair. You hadn’t slept that quickly or comfortably in a long time. And neither had he. 

-

It became a routine. 

Nighttime fell on the Harrignton household, and he would head upstairs first, you would follow his steps half an hour later, book in hand. He would rest his head on your chest covered by one of his old shirts while you read. Once you felt his body relax, you would close the book and let him hold you, the nightstand light turned off. 

He woke up first, and he would always leave a sleepy kiss on your shoulder while he mumbled a good morning. He’d go down and you would creep out of the sheets when the smell of coffee travelled its way to you. 

And you would share a quiet morning. 

It felt nice. It felt good. It felt right. 

But you could also tell that it was screwing with your head. 

You had caught his hands caressing your skin more and more lately, and the places he touched would burn with a strange mix of desire and need, expressing themselves in warmth. You saw his eyes darting to your lips when you were speaking to him. His going-out-to-work hugs would last more and more, and they left no space between your bodies. 

You weren’t free of guilt either. 

Your hands now had the habit of searching for him in the middle of the night. Your lips searched for his shoulder to leave a kiss on them every time he turned around in his sleep, craving to hear him let a soft moan out. And everytime he was standing in the kitchen you would hug him from behind, your arms holding tight as your hands played with his shirt. 

You realized in the middle of the day, that you were indeed falling madly in love with him. 

So, on that night, when he came home, you looked at him like you never had before. 

Your breath got caught up for a second too long. Your eyes shined bright every time you dared to look back at him. Your cheeks grew pink and warm when he hugged you as soon as he came from outside, even if his clothes were cold, you didn’t feel it, your body burning up in new discovered feelings. 

You grew nervous and fidgety, craving his closeness. Feeling somehow guilty of what your heart felt, scared shitless of what this all could mean. 

And you didn’t know this, but he was just as nervous this evening. 

So when he caught you picking at your skin, he didn’t warn you before grabbing your hand. 

You were once again in his bed. Book closed in your chest. His face close to yours, his eyes looking softly at you, begging for you to say what was on your mind, his lips slightly parted. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice sounded tired, as if he had been but a moment away from falling asleep. As he grabbed the ends of your fingers, you saw how truely close his lips were to them. When he saw you growing quiet, staring at him with doe-like eyes, he pulled himself closer to you. Your body is completely touching him. 

“C’mon, you can tell me… I.. I’m here…I’m your friend…”

You let out a soft laughter, and didn’t really think before speaking. 

“But you're not…” You whisper to him. His eyes take offence at this, his body moving forwards from you as you tell him that. 

“What do you mean?” He begged, his voice barely audible, but broken. 

“Friends don’t do this… Steve I…” You were getting flustered, his hands still wrapped around your fingers. 

“Whaddumean?” He asked, all in one phrase. 

“Friends don’t… This!” You say as you point at both of you, he shaked his head, not really following you. “Friends don’t sleep together, they don’t cuddle, they don’t kiss you good morning and good night, they don’t…” You can see him getting slightly offended at the words that you're saying to him. 

“Look, you can’t leave! You were the one that said that-” You had to cut him off. You didn’t like him getting flustered or mad about something that was not what you meant. 

“I don’t wanna leave! I want to stay like this! I want… you” You say, your eyes completely sincere, your shoulders relaxed, begging him to understand what you were trying to say to him without actually having to say it outloud. 

“Then what do you mean we’re not…” He’s getting frustrated, hands in his hair, scratching in anger, in misunderstanding. 

“Goddammit Steve!” You yell to him, throwing the blanket off of you, to his body. Your chest goes up and down rapidly. “I love you!” You yell to him, your cheeks warm and red, tears of nervousness in the corners of your eyes. 

“I love you too but… I don’t- I’m not following.” He said, in his most honest, lost voice. His body closer to yours again, begging to understand what was going on. 

“Steve…” You whisper. “I… I mean, that, I’m in love with you…” 

As soon as your words reach him, you can see the way the light lights up in his head, as he understands what you mean. So he does what he’s been dreaming about for so long. 

His left hand grabs your cheek, and as your eyes meet, he holds you like this for a moment, foreheads touching, both of your eyes closing. Your heart is beating faster than ever. And he finally closes the distance. 

Your lips finally touch. In need to finally feel the way he feels, his other hand getting lost in the back of your neck, playing with your hair, as he holds you closer and closer. No rush between you, your arms hold him, getting lost in the back of his neck. Needing him like you’ve never needed him before. Your tongues touch as the kiss deepens. You're both smiling as you do so. 

“I guess we’re not friends.” He whispers an inch away from your lips, kissing you again. Making you laugh in between kisses. 

“I guess not.” You say as you continue. Kissing him. His lips. His neck. Messing with his hair as much as you can, enjoying the way his body fitted against yours. 

“I’m in love with you too.” He admits later in the night, as he spoons you, whispering it in your ear, as he turns you around to kiss you again. 

You didn’t sleep that night, for a good reason this time. 

-

if you enjoyed (i I really hope you did), please reblog! i promise it makes a difference

-

<3

[cookiesupplier]

Hell Ain't So Bad - Part Eleven

pairing: Noah Sebastian x ofc (Ellie), 

warnings/tropes: slow burn, smut (eventually), angst, fluff, mentions of death, mentions of torture, thoughts of religious ideology, minor violence and swearing.

summary: Ellie was lost in the world, homeless with no idea what to do and nowhere to go.. Who would have thought that one day, she’d end up working in hell itself.. And what does this even mean?

author’s note: Unbetaed, readers beware.. if you want to chat with me about ideas/theories for this story I'm open to it, my asks are always open as well.

tags: @spicywhenspeaking @bngurngheart @cncohshit @valiantroeagleangel @blackveilomens @dominuslunae @tearfallpixie @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @wild-child-7747 

Tags are open feel free to ask.

“When I’m done with you, all of Hell will know exactly who you belong to.”

Noah’s words rattle around in her head and she couldn’t get them out. Not that she’d gotten a moment to respond to him after he’d said them, he’d smirked, and teleported away, the coward, or the genius really considered she’d been prepared to slap him, or at least attempt worse, for the audacity of claiming to suggest that she belonged to him! If you thought about it, they’d met less than a day ago.

The nerve.

After Folio stopped laughing, which she didn’t appreciate at all thank you very much. He suggested they order something for lunch, that eating might make her feel better.

She hated that he had been right.

It also made her feel better when Folio helped her flick through a catalogue to find a bat to order so the next time Noah just showed up she’d have something to use on him when he got fresh. It was nice to have a bit of a partner in crime of sorts. Folio was starting to feel like that hyperactive little brother she’d never had, even if he wasn’t remotely younger than her she’d learned, he’d been about her age even before he died. He’d passed quite a few years ago, he wasn't sure on an exact number thanks to his time in punishment, but it was years.

It was probably selfish of her, but she was glad he didn’t want to reincarnate yet. The thought of losing him while she was here she didn’t think it would be the same. She might have only been here for days, and already the boys had made a mark on her that she didn’t want to lose. Of course, Noah’s mark, that was something else, and she didn’t know what to do with him.

Smiling over to Folio after she ordered her brand new baseball bat, a metal one at that. Next time a soul, or Noah, got fresh with her, she’d be ready to deal with them. 

By the time she was ready to go home in the afternoon, and they were handing over to the later shift, Folio asked if she was up for a night out again, and Ellie had laughed. Oh no, she was going home tonight, after doing a proper grocery shop, maybe cooking dinner for herself, real food.. She hadn’t made dinner for herself in so long. Smiling at the thought.. Folio had just shrugged, smiled, with a suit yourself, saluted her with his cheeky grin and was out the door.

Jolly however asked if she wanted company to show her where the best shops were, it was so simple a question, but thoughtful that he was looking out for her. She accepted immediately. He’d walked with her to the shops, and they’d just chatted about the day, and the night before, how she was feeling about settling in. How she was looking forward to actually getting to make her own food. He’d chuckled at that, saying he never cooked, considering he didn’t pay for anything, why would he take the time to cook.

Rolling her eyes, she’d just grinned and after they were done shopping for food, dragged him back to her apartment to make him dinner. To thank him for helping her, he was getting a home cooked meal.

She was in the kitchen, chopping up different vegetables with Jolly sitting on the island counter top drinking a beer while she did.

“So, I learned this recipe trick from volunteering at a soup kitchen. Before, everything went to shit. It was a great way to get as much nutrients in the food as possible, quick, easy, and I could add all kinds of vegetables in the mix. The best part, if your sneaky enough, someone like Folio, can barely tell.”

She was making Spaghetti Bolognese,

“All he’d taste is the meat and tomatoes, and it’d be all pasta cheesy goodness for him and think it’s all kinds of wonderful. Least in my opinion. Watch me make enough to heat up for lunch tomorrow, and he’ll never know just how much healthier it is, mister we can’t be friends if I’m a health nut.”

Grinning over to Jolly with that, and the man just chuckled as he swallowed a mouthful of his beer,

“Alright, you’re on.”

She was sure she’d win that one, and even if she didn’t, Folio would enjoy a nice home cooked meal just the same, she was sure of it. Sure it would be with a touch of complaining if he caught her out. She could handle a little bit of complaining just fine. Really though, she hoped that he liked it, the boys had been so nice to her, she wanted to do something nice for them, and this was something she could do. It didn’t feel like much, especially when they could just pick up the phone and order delivery food from down the road for free, but it was something.

Sighing as she chopped up the vegetables, she felt Jolly watching her carefully, looking up from the knife, pausing so she didn’t so something stupid like chop off one of her fingers or something, she caught him,

“What?”

Jolly just looked at her with a raised eyebrow for a moment not saying anything,

“What, you want to say something, it’s all over your face, what?”

The smile that crossed his face then was telling, she was right.

“So now you can read minds now too?”

That thought made her chuckle, hell had an effect it would have her seem.

“No, I can’t tell what your thinking, just that you want to say something, go on, say it Jolly. You've got your serious face on, I’m a big girl, I can take it.”

As she spoke, she went back to her vegetable chopping, ready to listen to what he had to say, hoping that she really could take what he was about to send her way. So far over the last few days, Hell had thrown quite a few curve balls at her, and it would be nice for something not to come at her like a wrecking ball tonight.

“What exactly happened last night, between you and Noah? That you remember anyway, aside from the teasing.”

She sighed, that much was obvious she guessed. She didn’t know if Jolly was looking out for her, or Noah, but at least she wasn’t getting a lecture for being stupid about it today, or Folio making fun of her with all his laughter this morning.

“He walked me home, we were talking, I’ve remembered more through the day. We were talking about what makes him different as a demon to a human, and how he looks as a demon, and he said something.. And I.. reacted.”

She didn’t look up from her actions as she was adding the chopped vegetables to her pot as she continued. Her cheeks flushed so warm, rosy red as she thought about what happened next during the night before.

“If I remember correctly, I ah, he’s right, I pretty much stripped, tried to seduce him, and now he apparently thinks I belong to him.”

Rolling her eyes,

“Possessive bastard.”

Too bad that was actually rather hot to think about. Still at the same time, she’d been down that road before, and didn’t she want to go down that one again. Her college boyfriend had not ended very well. She’d thought she was in love with him, they’d been together for over two years before she realised that everything she thought she knew about their relationship was a lie. He’d been possessive, controlling, and she’d convinced herself at the time that it was because he loved her, but it was all lies in the end, and it was just…

“He can be a bit much sometimes, but he means well.”

Her eyes flickered up to Jolly when he said that. He means well. Now where had she heard that before? Her hand stilled with her knife as she just looked at Jolly, hmm, well, oh, everywhere.

“Noah isn’t just Nicholas’ best friend, they’re practically brother’s. I know you think he is an arrogant arsehole, and sometimes he can be, but other times it can be a product of his age. I don’t know for certain how old he is, but I have narrowed it down that they are both at least a few centuries old.”

Smirking a little,

“He can be beyond frustrating, but at the same time, so many lower demons flocking towards him constantly because of his position, puts so much pressure on him. Noah has worked so hard for where he is, but I don’t think he expected never to have a moment of peace.”

While she supposed that Nicholas was old, and a lord too, he worked a lot in the human world, and with souls, and, maybe other demons wouldn’t see that the same way they would see what Noah did. That was actually kind of offensive, assholes. Making sure souls transitioned, good or bad, was just as important as punishing those that deserved it as far as she was concerned. Then again, she was someone on the outside looking in, she wasn’t a denizen of Hell that had been around here for hundreds of years, and never would be. To her, to judge someone just on their job, was rather offensive.

It would be suggesting the bartender last night was more important than the girl that made her coffee yesterday morning, which was horrible. She called bullshit on that one. Living on the street had taught her that everyone was valuable, and anyone that thought otherwise, they were the people that had less of a value in the world.

The same could be said for hell it would seem.

“Let me guess, this is all a round about way of you telling me I should at least give Noah a chance?”

Raising an eyebrow as she started stirring the pot of Bolognese sauce, now that the water on the stove was boiling however, she added the spaghetti pasta to the pot and let the pasta cook.

“Just a chance, Sweetheart. Besides, from what I can tell, the only thing he did wrong last night is bruise your ego.”

Smirking a little at slight glare she sent his way in return.

“If I tell you I hate your cooking, are you going to turn on me next?”

Ellie rolled her eyes, chuckling slightly,

“Okay okay, point taken, but Noah doesn’t have to be an ass about it.”

Taking in a breath as she stirred the pot of sauce, she would give Noah a chance. She knew what she was going to do.

Once they had finished dinner Jolly had headed home, and she had made plenty, enough that she packed up some containers to take for lunch the next day for them. Hey, she had a point to make now to Jolly, but either way, she was sure it would go well with Folio.

Looking down to the phone that she’d found left in the apartment, in it were a couple of numbers, and a message from Nicholas, one of the numbers belongs to none other than Noah.

She opened a new text thread and then paused. Staring at the blinking cursor on her screen on her phone for a long moment, considering what she should say, wondering, if she had his number, did he have hers? If she waited, would he call her? Did she want to wait? Did she want to let him control this?

No. She didn’t want to let him control this, she didn’t want to let him have control over the situation when he so obviously thought he had so much control over her in other ways. Claiming that she belonged to him and all. No. In this, she wanted to have at least a little bit of control, and if it was it was only in that she was the one that said something first, then it was at least it was a touch of control. She’d take that much. Smiling to herself she tapped out a message on her phone to him.

Ellie: Noah, are you free tomorrow night? Ellie: This is Ellie btw Noah: I don’t know BabyGirl, am I free? Ellie: I’m trying to ask you out don’t be a smartass. Ellie: Only I don’t know what’s good to do here. Noah: I’ll take care of that, and yes, I’m free. Noah: Pick you up at six.

Dividers by @saradika-graphics

[sugarsfics]

Making Pancakes

Sumarry: Its Stella’s 3rd birthday and she wants pancakes so Eddie being the best dad in the world wants to go big for his little star, it should work out right? What could go wrong? 

Trope dad!eddie x mom!reader ; Hellfire mom series  

Warning: like one cuss word, fluff, bad writing, kiss. 

Word count: 1.2k 

30 day challenge: Day 2 Send request <3

It was Stella 3rd birthday. She only had one request for today and that was making pancakes. Pancakes were her favorite food. Eddie suggested that we make it a pancake party with a full-on pancake bar with toppings galore. Even with money tight Eddie always wanted to do something special for his little girl. You decided to make it on Saturday at 9 just in time for the morning cartoons. You told Eddie that you and Stella were going shopping Friday before Hellfire to the store to get everything. All week leading up to the day he begged and begged you to let him miss school on Friday to spend the day with you guys. You stay strong tell him no until Thursday night he got Stella to join in on his pleading it was hard saying no to one pair of puppy dog eye but now two, he even got her to pout her lips. Needless to say, you cave, and Eddie fell asleep with his arms wrapped around you and a huge smile. 

He wasn’t too pleased to be woken up before 8 that morning. “You said that we were going shopping” “Yes, we are” “So why so early” “Because we need to be back in time for hellfire and the fresh strawberries are two towns over now so up” he groaned up eventually got up. Your next mission was Stella before Stella you and Eddie were night owls who love their sleep, so she inherited that trait from both, and it was 10 times worse. You walked her bed and gently woke her up “Baby” “Time to get up” “No” her little voice rang through your ears “Up time baby” “no” “Wakey wakey” “no”  “Come on baby we are going shopping today" silence  “ok tay” she got out of bed "there’s my baby oh crazy hair” her curls were everywhere you had to push some out her eyes “There’s my girls” Eddie walked in with his hair just as crazy has hers. 

You ate breakfast than started getting ready, Stella is at the age where she wants to just herself today’s outfit was a pink dress, her crown, blue sunglasses, with her black studded boots that Eddie made her, you and Eddie had the same pair of boots, so it was only fitting to get her a pair. Eddie loves matching with his family, so he put on his studded boots and told you to wear yours because we must match in some way. So, with your boots you put on a pair of light wash mom jeans and your Eddie’s Black Sabbath shirt, Eddie wore is usually black pair of jeans, his hellfire shirt, battle vest leather jacket combo and his studded boots. You all hopped in the van and were on your way. It was about a 30-minute drive to the store, and it was huge. “Wow” Stella said “Stay close my star you might get lose in there” Eddie said she clung on to him as you went to grab a cart, he put her in the cart then run to the door to open it “M'lady’s” he said in his DM voice with a bow Stella giggled when you bowed back “Thank you my kind sir” you answered in your best British accent. “Where to first” he asked while slipping his hand into your back pocket “Um let’s go find the pancake mix first” “Rodger that” he Saluted. The baking aisle was number 8. “Ok Stella any special one” he put on her thinking face while tapper her chin “That one” she pointed to a bright pink box mark FLUFFY PANCAKES “Nice choice my star” Eddie said while putting in it in the cart. “To the toppings next” 

After Eddie and Stella convinced you to buy 5 cans of whipped cream, those damn eyes, you were off to home. You order pizza for Hellfire since you didn’t have time to cook. “You invited everyone right” you asked Eddie “Yea um uncle Wayne and um” “You invited the Hellfire boys right” “Yea I think so” “You think so” “Yea maybe” “Maybe” “No. no I didn’t” “Eddie” “I know I know I just forgot” “Well next time I will forget to kiss you goodnight night or-” “How dare you threat me by taking away my kisses” After Hellfire you told the boys sorry for the late notice, they all understood Eddie’s mind but agreed to come.  

You were woken up by Stella jumping on the bed “Up Up its my birthday up up” “Happy Birthday baby” you said bringing her down “We get it it's your birthday, but can’t I sleep” Eddie teased “No daddy” Stella giggled he grabbed her and started tickling her “Happy Birthday brat” After so morning cuddles you got up to start the pancakes. You had everything set up nice and easy for you to start you mixed the dry ingredients first when you remember to put your hair up. When you came out of the bathroom flour was everywhere “What the f-” “She did it” Eddie pointed at Stella “No not me daddy” “What happened I walked out for 2 seconds” “We just wanted to help mommy” “Yea mommy can we please help” Eddie said “Give her the eyes” he whispered to Stella oh he is going to get it “Fine”  

Stella and Eddie’s hair match your up in a bun, “Alrighty lets’ start” you let Stella mixed to dry ingredients as you mixed to wet ingredients. Eddie came behind you to “help you” he rested his chin on your shoulder giving you a kiss “Who let her get so big” he said looking at Stella “I can’t believe it she is three already” “I know” “I want to do it again” he looked at you with a grin “Really” “Yea I-” “daddy help” “We will continue this later” he said kissing your lips. Stella went to pull up the whisk and powder went all over Eddie, she giggled “What's so funny” “you look crazy daddy” “No you do” he said grabbing some of the mixture and putting it on her face “daddy" she gasped throwing some more at him. You couldn’t help but giggle at there little fight, Eddie whipped his head toward you “Oh you want to laugh too” “No” you said in a giggle “get her” Stella said all hell broke lose in the kitchen. Powder everywhere then there was a knocks at the door you look at the time 8:50 “Shit they are here” you looked around no pancakes were done and it was a mess, you open the door to find Uncle Wayne “Hi Uncle Wayne um gives us about five minutes please we had a little accident” he looked at you clothes chuckled then nod “Thank you” you closed the door hearing the Whipped cream can go off, when you walked into the kitchen Eddie and Stella were on the counter and Eddie was pouring whipped cream into their mouth. “Eddie really” “What” “It is so good” Stella added 

Tag list: @thefreak0fhawkinshigh let me know if you want to be added <3

[crusherthedoctor]

Amy Rose

do I like them: It's complicated.

If I had to sum it up, generally I do appreciate her and what she brings to the table, and I acknowledge how far she's came. But recent portrayals and circumstances (ie: the fans who have a collective meltdown every time Amy isn't in something) have made it hard to remain enthusiastic about her.

5 good qualities:

She has a strong design.

At her best, she inspires other characters to be their best.

She's more understanding than fans make her out to be. (Eg: her non-aggressive reaction to Elise bringing Sonic back to life.)

Her Advance animations are cute.

She's a good big sister figure for Cream... when Cream is allowed to show up. >:[

3 bad qualities:

She often tends to be at one extreme ("Marry me or I'll beat the shit out of you") or the other ("I can't acknowledge my crush on you because I need to be a Strong Female Character").

In general, I'm not a fan of the "girl so mad she scares everyone... even the villain!!!" trope. And Amy falls into that trap on occasion. Mostly in Sonic X.

Not her fault, but the Sonamy VS Sonally wars are extremely tedious, and that's without taking into account that I don't care for either of these ships (though Sonally is the worse of the two IMO).

favourite episode/etc: Most would go for her Gamma and Shadow moments in SA1 and SA2 respectively, but I'll instead go with Heroes, since aside from the very unfortunate moment with Team Sonic that everyone remembers, she's really not that bad in Heroes beyond that, and it's nice to see her help Cream and Big find their pals.

otp: None to be found here.

brotp: Cream! But I'd also like to see more moments between Amy and Tails that aren't about Sonic.

ot3: None here either.

notp: Sona-

best quote: "Oh my god!"

Because it's funny.

head canon: After getting some lessons from Vanilla, Amy has become a very skilled cook/baker. When she's the one baking, no one can resist her treats.

Additionally, part of the reason she set up her fighting club in Battle is because she was inspired by her own growth in SA1, and wants to help others find that satisfaction for themselves.

[upat4amwiththemoon]

Friends, pals, besties

Summary: It’s so great to have a friend like Daisy.

Pairing: Daisy Johnson x female!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 889

a/n: Flirty x oblivious trope from Trope challenge :)

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore

“Hi, cutie!” Daisy grins as she steps into the kitchen where Y/N is making breakfast for herself, only wearing an oversized t-shirt.

Y/N giggles, only sparing a small glance at Daisy before turning back to her food. “Hi, Quake.” She snickers when she hears Daisy groan.

“Seriously? I call you all these nice nicknames and you call me by my superhero name I didn’t even get to decide.” She walks to the counter, standing right next to Y/N. “What ate you making?” Her hand moves to her back.

Y/N gives Daisy a weird look. “A sandwich? I get you’re bad at cooking, but I didn’t realize it was this bad.”

“Oh, my god.” Daisy’s eyes widen. “You’re getting worse than Mack.”

“Uh uh.” She grins, bumping her hip with Daisy’s. “I’m coming for that best friend spot, Mack better watch out.”

Best friends.

That title has haunted Daisy for weeks. She has been calling Y/N petnames, called their outings dates, given her gifts and flirted with her for so long, but all her advances have been given ‘friendly’ meanings by Y/N. Daisy is tired of it, but somehow she can’t build the courage to outright say it.

So, she has resorted to trying her hardest to get to Y/N realize she likes her, though it has been unsuccessful so far. However, Daisy isn’t about to give up.

“Wanna do something today? Maybe go to the beach.”

“Sure.” Y/N starts eating her sandwich. “Let me just eat and get ready, then we can leave.”

“It’s a date.” Daisy winks with a grin as she slowly walks away, backwards.

“You know I love our friend dates!”

Daisy turns around and scowls. Inside head head she’s screaming and cursing how this isn’t a friend date, but she stays quiet and walks away.

“Hey, Tremors!” Mack jogs up to her with a teasing smile, having seen Daisy was just with Y/N. Her crush was pretty obvious to everyone on the team, except to the only person who actually needed to notice it. “How did it go with Y/N?”

“Awful.” Daisy mumbles, glaring at Mack when he laughs. “She called it a friend date, again.”

“You should just tell her, she’s clearly not getting the hints.”

“I can’t!” She groans, throwing her hands in the air. “What if she is hinting to me that she doesn’t like me?”

Mack shakes his head. “She definitely likes you.”

“If you say so.” Daisy sighs as they stop in front of her room. ”I’ll tell her today.”

“Let me know how it goes.” Mack pats Daisy’s shoulder before walking away, leaving her alone deciding how to tell Y/N.

”How do you like the beach?” Daisy smiles, staring at Y/N, who is tanning under the sun. The beach is relatively quiet as it is in the middle of the week and most people are working right now.

“I love it.” Y/N glances at Daisy under her sunglasses. “You?”

“I’m liking it more because I’m here with you.”

Giggling, Y/N swats Daisy’s arm, completely missing it. “Shut it.” She mumbles.

Daisy huffs. “You know I like you, right?“

“Of course!” Y/N’s brows scrunch together as she stares at Daisy. “I like you too, I consider you my best friend.”

Daisy groans loudly, to Y/N it sounds very exaggerated. “It’s really cute you’re so oblivious, but I’m kind of getting sick of it.”

“What do you mean?”

“I like like you.”

“I don’t think I follow.” Y/N mumbles, frowning at the way Daisy is acting. She doesn’t understand what she means. She likes likes Daisy too, they are best friends after all. Well, at least almost, she’s still fighting with Mack on that title.

Daisy sighs, closing her eyes. She rubs her face before grabbing both of Y/N’s hands to her own. “I like you, more than a friend.” She emphasizes the last part of the sentence. “I have been flirting with you for a while now and you still haven’t noticed.”

Y/N’s eyes widen as she stares at the knowing grin on Daisy’s face. Finally she got it. “You’ve been flirting with me?”

“Yes.”

“W- No you haven’t. Since when?” Her face is warm when she starts analyzing their interactions more closely in her head.

“Weeks!” Daisy laughs. She feels relieved. Y/N wasn’t trying to hint she’s not interested, she actually was just very oblivious to her advances. “You seriously didn’t realize?”

“No…”

“Oh god, that’s hilarious, I thought I was so obvious with it.”

Y/N groans, closing her eyes as the heat spreads through her whole body. “This is so embarrassing.” She mumbles.

“I mean, it depends on your answer.”

“I like you too, have for a long time.” Y/N smiles when she sees the pure excitement in Daisy’s face. “I can’t believe it took us this long.”

“It’s entirely your fault.”

“Oh shu-“

Y/N gets interrupted by Daisy kissing her. She hums, leaning in to the touch. “Sorry, I couldn’t wait any longer.” Daisy whispers.

“Don’t stop.” Y/N puts her hands on Daisy’s cheeks, pulling her back in.

Daisy giggles and pushes Y/N to lay on her back while she holds herself over her, kissing as they take in the warm sun.

[adiwriting]

Some random thoughts I have on romance and the romantic tropes I was raised on that I believe truly set me up to be in the middle of some emotionally abusive and toxic relationships.

Brought to you by an annoyance at seeing these same "romantic" tropes of my youth appearing time and time again in my media and my fandoms:

Things that are not nearly as romantic as they seem:

"Saving yourself"

Not that you have to have more than one sexual partner in your life (or any- what up ace friends), you don't. But you are not tainted if you have slept with somebody else prior to your current partner and they shouldn't ever make you feel like you are no matter how many sexual partners you have had. Anyone that requires you are a virgin in order to be with them is not somebody you need in your life.

"It's for your own good" breakups.

They may sound like the end all being all of love, somebody martyring themselves for you because they just love you so much they can't stand by and watch you stay with them as they (insert tragic situation here). But trust me, you won't find it so romantic when your agency is stripped away and you're standing there with a shattered heart over someone that "loves" you. Hearing it's "for the best" doesn't make you feel any better. You are entitled to make your own decisions about your own life.

"I'm not good for you"

If somebody is telling you this repeatedly, there are only a handful of things they are looking to accomplish. Either they:

Lack self confidence, which, in limited quantities is okay, but over time will become draining on your emotional wellbeing if it's not a give and take. Your partner can have insecurities, we all have them, but it's more than fair for you to want a partner who is at least confident in your love.

Are fishing for your regular reassurance that yes, indeed, you DO love them (which over time becomes a form of emotional manipulation to get you to feel guilty and center their needs over your own whether they are aware of it or not).

Are trying to get you to leave them for your own good, which goes back to lack of agency which I discussed above.

To summarize, you shouldn't have to be regularly pouring from your pitcher to hold up your partner emotionally. Your partner's emotional health should not be entirely on your shoulders and if it is, that's not healthy for either of you.

Jealousy

There is a difference between missing something you used to have and having regrets about said loss, and jealousy. There is a difference between wanting monogamy with your partner (if that's a negotiated expectation between you both) and not being able to handle your partner talking to another person. Somebody being jealous and "resource guarding" you like you're the favorite toy and they are some untrained territorial dog isn't a sign of how much they must love you. It's a sign of how much they want to control you.

And if the jealous is coming from somebody that is not your current partner (ex partner or potential future partner), this is a big red flag. You do not belong to them and are able to be with other people. Likewise, the same is true for the object of your current fixation. Nobody owns anyone.

Needing things to be "even" or "fair"

Needing things to be 100% even, fair, or equal (whatever you want to call it) means you expect that for every kiss you give, they must give you a kiss back. For every gift you give, they should give a gift back. For every I love you, there's an I love you returned. This doesn't sound too awful... though it presents a transactional view of love that I believe sets you up to have less flexibility in a relationship to meet both partners needs. It prevents you from being able to give just for the sake of giving. And potentially opens you both up to questioning motives (did they only do X so that I would do X back?)

But imagine the much darker side of this mentality. I dance with somebody else at our friends' wedding and now you're going to go dance with somebody else to "get even." We were broken up for a period of 6 months while we both worked on our mental health. During that time you slept with somebody else, so I'd better go do that too before we get back together so things are "fair." You had a panic attack last night and I held you while you cried and cooked your favorite meal, when I get home tonight I expect dinner to be ready and waiting. I gave you oral sex, now you're expected to do the same even though it makes you uncomfortable. After all: Fair is fair. Right???

There is a difference in wanting relationships to be two-sided in which both partners give to each other in a balanced way and requiring 100% equality.

Not being able to live without someone - aka - the all consuming love

Being told that somebody can't live without you sounds romantic in fics. I know, I'm sure I wrote them in the past. I certainly read them. In reality, it is a huge emotional burden to carry, even if you love that person back with your whole heart. You should not ever be somebody's whole reason for living. It's not a weight you should have to carry on your shoulders. Your partner should have friends outside of you to hang out with. They should have hobbies. They should have interests that don't involve you. They should not need you to be their entertainment and happiness 24/7.

On the flip side, don't ever allow your partner to be your entire happiness 24/7. Have hobbies. Have other friends. Have other interests. Do things away from your partner. I promise, if your love is really that strong, you'll survive a few hours away from each other and your mental health will be stronger for it.

Ignoring boundaries

I don't care what the romantic gesture is or what their intent is - if you've previously said something is a "no go" then that's that. Nobody should be ignoring boundaries that you've set up or pressuring you to change those boundaries. It is especially worse when said partner ignores your boundaries "for your own good" because they assume they know better than you. And look, there we are back to the whole agency issue. Are we noticing a theme here?

Things that are completely, 100% human and normal about love:

Falling in love more than once in your life

People come into your life and out of your life. Some stay forever. Some only last a short time. All of them, good and bad, teach us something to bring into the next relationship.

There's no limit on how many people you are allowed to love in your lifetime. Nobody should make you feel badly for having multiple relationships and doing what you need to do to figure out who you are in a relationship and how you want to give and receive love. There's nothing wrong with learning and growing.

And if, in the end, you come back to an old flame after leaving them, that's okay too, so long as you are coming back for love and not fear or habit.

Competing needs

You might love your partner with your entire heart. Your partner might even be your forever love. But there will likely come a time in which you and your partner run into competing needs. What does this look like? It looks like my partner coming home from work after a stressful day and needing to be alone because they're worked up and every little thing is raking at their temper. Meanwhile I just got home from work after a tough day and need hugs and reassurances that I'm doing a good job and am not an awful person. It looks like the both of us experiencing a trauma together and I react to it with a need to compartmentalize, ignore, and focus on manageable tasks, while my partner reacts to it with a need to talk about what happened and decompress. It looks like my partner needing something that I can't provide at the moment because I need the opposite.

Sometimes competing needs can be worked through with healthy communication and a lot of work. Sometimes they can't and the best thing for both of you is to end the relationship and find somebody who can meet your needs, and that's okay too.

Leaving a relationship that isn't working

If you are in a relationship that isn't working, you can leave. That's right. You can just leave. You don't owe anyone anything no matter how long you have been together or what they are going through. Your mental health is more important than staying with somebody who is making you miserable.

Trust that there is new love out there. Trust that people fall in love more than once. Trust that something better is on the horizon. And hey, even if you don't find somebody new... Nothing is worth staying in a relationship that makes you unhappy. Plenty of people find happiness in being single too.

*****

Now, this is in no way an extensive list, just a list of things I could think of that, had I been told more consistently in my youth and in the media I consumed rather than had these toxic ideas romanticized, I think would have saved me a whole lot of emotional trauma.

Feel free to add onto this list.

[missjanjie]

Prompt + AU/Trope Mix n Match #‽

look idk what im counting and what im not so lets just go with it. anyway send a number + letter and a ship!

Prompts

“You forget how quickly things can change.”

“Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“They don’t love you, not like I did.”

“I’ll make you wish you never met me.”

“Well, I’ve got nothing left to lose.”

“I just know they’ll come around… right?”

“It makes me angry how good in bed you are.”

“That look in your eyes means you’re in love.”

“What do you want from me?”

“You owe me a bottle of cold champagne.”

“It took me too long to realize how I felt.”

“I don’t know what hurts worse, seeing you with them or being alone.”

“What, you wanna fight about it?”

“You’re the devil. You are the actual devil.”

“I’m not gonna beg you to stay.”

“That’s the story of my life.”

“What’s the point? You’re not listening.”

“This is one fucked up seduction.”

“Aw, you cooked for me?”

“I don’t think that you even know what you’re looking for.”

“Tell me the bad times are clean washed away.”

“This is the part that I can’t stand.”

“That was low, even for you.”

“Are you lost? Do you need help?”

”I want to be the person you deserve.”

“There’s something I should’ve told you.”

“You know that’s worse, right?”

“I know I should feel guilty, but I don’t.”

“Take a chance on me.”

“You promised me McDonald’s once that was over.”

“Hey! I was on my best behavior.”

“Do you wanna know a secret?”

“I’m not trying to hook up with you, I’m just saying it’s an option.”

“You are the bane of my existence.”

“Okay, this isn’t as bad as it looks.”

“What the fuck is that?”

“Just let me kiss you.”

“We can’t keep fighting the inevitable.”

“I can’t go back, I just can’t.”

“C’mon, don’t tease me.”

“Is that a new tattoo?”

“You made me fall in love with you and you never even noticed.”

“I just wish you’d look at me that way.”

“It looks like you’ve given up.”

“Don’t leave me this way.”

“I miss the taste of your lips.”

“You better be undressed by the time I get there.”

“How could you do this to me?”

“I told you I’d keep my promise.”

“Maybe things got a little out of hand.”

“It turns out, I don’t know how to have a normal life.”

“I’ll kill you. I’ll fucking kill you.”

“Amazingly, this isn’t the worst thing to happen to me recently.”

“Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.”

“If I won the lottery, you’d never see me again.”

“I didn’t know you could do that.”

“Have they always been this hot?”

“Get your mind out of the gutter for once.”

“It’s unfair for someone to look so beautiful.”

“You don’t need to forgive me, but please hear me out.”

“We started making out, then it was kind of a blur.”

“I couldn’t have done it without you.”

“You already signed up for this, there’s no backing out now.”

“I’m over them, I swear.”

“Look, you know I can’t be left alone for extended periods of time.”

“It’s all coming back to me now.”

“I didn’t just kiss them.”

“Stop throwing stuff at me!”

“You were there for me when no one else was.”

“Hey, don’t give me that face.”

AUs/Tropes

A. High School AU

B. Coffee Shop AU

C. Enemies to Lovers

D. Soulmate AU

E. Canon Compliant

F. Historical AU (older or modern)

G. Tattoo Shop AU

H. College AU

I. Fake Dating

J. Prison AU

K. Royal AU

L. Bed Sharing

M. Stripper/Porn Star AU

N. Accidental Baby Acquisition

O. Hurt/Comfort

P. Rockstar AU

Q. Criminal AU

R. Trapped Together

S. Secret Admirer

T. Bakery AU

U. Flower Shop AU

V. Hospital AU

W. Summer Camp AU

X. Supernatural Creatures

Y. Teacher AU

Z. Other (specify)

[cctinsleybaxter]

2020 in books

2020 was a year of changed reading habits; people reading more than ever or not at all, some changing their tastes and others turning to old comforts. While there weren’t any huge overhauls on my end, more free time did mean a total of 32 in a wider range of genres. In the past couple of years I found a lot of the things I read to be kind of middling and ranked them accordingly, but this year had some strong contenders in the mix. With college officially behind me I love nonfiction again, and I really need to stop being drawn in by novels with long titles that ‘sound interesting.’ A piece of advice to my future self: they will only make you angry.

The Good

The Idiot by Fyodor Dostoevsky I loved the BBC radio play when I first listened to it back in 2017, but didn’t know if I could stomach the idea of actually reading the 700-page book, especially since I already knew the plot (spoiler alert: this had no effect and I gasped multiple times despite knowing what was going to happen; Fyodor’s just that good at atmosphere.) The story follows Prince Lev Myshkin, a goodhearted but troubled man entering 1860s Petersburg high society and meeting all of the wretched people therein as he navigates life, laughs, love, unanswerable questions of faith, and human suffering. I care about it in the same way I think other people care about reality TV shows and soap operas. I’m so personally invested in the drama and feel so many different emotions directed at these clowns that it’s like being a fan of Invitation to Love (with an ending equally upsetting to that of the show ITL is from, Twin Peaks.)

Salt: A World History by Mark Kurlanksy I adored this book. The first half reads a little like a Wikipedia article, and I was worried that it was leaning too clinical and would be disaffected with colonialism and indigenous peoples, but even that oversight is corrected for as the text goes on. It’s not going to be for everybody because it really is just the world’s longest encyclopedia entry on, well, salt, but it’s written with such excitement for the topic and is so well-researched and styled for commercial nonfiction that I think it deserves any and all praise it’s gotten. We have to talk about that time Cheshire was literally sinking into the ground, and companies who were over-pumping brine water to steal each other’s brine water said ‘no it’s okay it’s supposed to that’ so were legally dismissed as suspects.

Midnight Cowboy by James Leo Herlihy Cried. 10/10. The plot of Midnight Cowboy is very classic and actually has a lot in common with The Idiot, as 20-something Joe Buck moves from the American Southwest to NYC and meets myriad challenges as a sex worker. I’ve been obsessed with the movie for a few years now and the book made me appreciate it anew; I think it’s rare for an adaptation to take the risk of being so different from its source material while still capturing its spirit. The movie doesn’t include quieter moments like the full conversation with Towny or time spent in the X-flat, nor does it attempt to touch Joe’s internal monologue or his and Rico’s extensive backstories, but these things are essential to the book and are some of the best and most affecting writing I’ve ever read. Finally! The Great American Novel!

The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones I would firmly like to say that this is probably the best horror novel ever written. The setup is very traditional in that it’s about a group of friends facing supernatural comeuppance for a past mistake, but delivery on that premise is anything but familiar. A story about personal and cultural trauma that raises questions about what we owe to each other and what it means to be Blackfeet, with a cast that’s unbelievably real and sympathetic even at their absolute worst. Creepypasta writers trying to cash in on the cultural mythos of lumped-together tribes wish they were capable of writing something a tenth as gruesome and good as this. It could very well be a movie the visuals and writing style were so arresting, and I can’t wait to read whatever Jones writes next.

Found Footage Horror Films: Fear and the Appearance of Reality by Alexandra Heller-Nicholas This is the least accessible title on the list since it’s a college textbook for people with background in film, but it was so nice to read a woman unpacking film theory with the expertise and confidence it deserves that I have to rank it among the best. I had an absolute blast reading it and am going to have to stop myself from bringing up the horror of 1960s safety films as a cocktail icebreaker.

Blood in the Water: The Attica Prison Uprising of 1971 and Its Legacy by Heather Ann Thompson

The year’s toughest read by far, but also its most rewarding. Thompson uses mountains of documents, government-buried intel, and personal interviews to explain what happened at Attica from beginning to end, and does a fantastic job of balancing hard facts and ‘unbiased journalism’ with much-needed emotion and critical analysis. It’s more important reading in the 2020s than any kind of ��why/how to not be racist’ book club book is going to be, and the historical context it provides is as interesting as it is invaluable. The second half drags a bit in going through lengthy trial processes with some assumed baseline knowledge of legalese (which I did not have. All that criminal minds in 2015… meaningless), but aside from that editing and prose are some of the best I’ve seen in nonfiction. 

The Bad

The Woman in the Window by A.J. Finn A friend and I decided to read this together because I’m obsessed with how insane the author is and wanted to know if he can actually write.

He cannot.

The Beautiful Thing That Awaits Us All by Laird Barron Barron is an indie darling of the horror fiction scene, so I was excited to finally read one of his collections but can now attest that I hate him. If you’re going to do Lovecraft please deconstruct Lovecraft in an interesting way. I had actually written a lot about the issues I have with how he develops characters and plots, but one of the only shorthand notes I took was “he won’t stop saying ‘bole’ instead of tree trunk” and I feel like that’s the only review we need.

Bats of the Republic by Zach Dodson Look up a photo of this author because if I had bothered to glance at the jacket bio I honest-to-god wouldn’t have even tried reading this.

This Is How You Lose the Time War by Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone I went in with high expectations since this is an epistolary novella I’d seen praised on tumblr and youtube but oh my god was there a reason I was seeing it praised on tumblr and youtube. This is bad Steven Universe fanfiction. Both authors included ‘listening to the Steven Universe soundtrack throughout’ in the acknowledgements, and to add insult to injury there’s a plug from my nemesis Madeline Miller.

The 7½ Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle by Stuart Turton The premise of this one plays with so many tropes I like that I should have been more suspicious. It’s a dinner party with stock characters one would expect of Clue, and rather than our protagonist being the detective he’s a man with amnesia stuck in a 24-hour time loop. Body-hopping between guests, he must gather evidence using the skillsets of each ‘host’ until he either solves Evelyn Hardcastle’s murder or the limit of eight hosts runs out. I read a lot of not-very-good books, and it’s so, so much worse when they have potential to be fun. This is how you lose the most points, and how I abandon decorum and end up writing a list of grievances: • Our protagonist can only inhabit male hosts, which I think is a stupid writing decision not because I’m ‘woke’ but because wouldn’t it make sense for him to also be working with the maids, cooks, and women close to the murder victim? • Complaining about the limitations of hosts makes some sense (e.g- there’s a section where he thinks that it’s hard to be an old man because it’s difficult to get to the places he needs to be quickly), but one of his hosts is a rapist and one of his hosts is fat. Guess which one gets complained about more. • One of the later hosts is just straight-up a cop with cop knowledge that singlehandedly solves the case. We spend some time being like ‘wow I couldn’t have done it without the info all eight hosts helped gather’ but it was 100% the detective and he solves the murder using information he got off-screen. • The mystery itself is actually well-paced and I didn’t have a lot of issues with it (e.g, there’s a twist that I guessed only shortly before the end), which makes it all the worse that the metanarrative of this book is INSANE. No spoilers but the reveal as to why our unnamed protagonist is even in this situation is stupid. I just know they’re going to make it into a movie and I’m preemptively going to aaaaaaaaa!!!

Trust Exercise by Susan Choi The fact that this was the worst book I read all year, worse even than the bad Steven Universe fanfiction, and it won multiple awards makes my blood boil. I could rant about it for hours but just know that it’s a former theater kid’s take on perception and memory, and deals with sexual abuse in a way that’s handled both very badly and with a level of fake deepness that’s laughable. Select fake-deep quotes I copied down because at one point I said ‘oh barf’ aloud: -I’m filled with melancholy that’s almost compassion. It’s sad the same way. -[On a friendship ending] We almost never know what we know until after we know it. -Because we’re none of us alone in this world. We injure each other.

There are also bad sex scenes that I can’t quite make fun of because I think (HOPE?) they’re supposed to be a melodramatic take on how teenagers view sex, but I very much wanted to die. Flowers were alluded to. Nipples were compared to diamonds.

Honorable/Dishonorable Mentions (categorized as the same thing because, well,)

The Life and Death of Sophie Stark by Anna North This book was frustrating because the first third of it is fantastic. It’s set up to be a takedown of the manic pixie dream girl trope, jumping from person to person discussing their relationship with the titular Sophie, and indirectly revealing that she was just some girl and not the difficult and mysterious genius they all believed her to be. Then in the third act, BAM! She was that difficult and mysterious genius and she’s now indirectly brought all the people from her past together. I wanted to scream the plot beefed it so bad, but the good news is I really liked this octopus description.

It was the size of a three-year-old child, and it seemed awful to me that something could be so far from human and obviously want something as badly as it wanted to get out of the tank.

Radium Girls: The Dark Story of America’s Shining Women by Kate Moore Cool new nightmare speedrun strat is to hear a 2-second anecdote from a documentary that people used to get radium poisoning from painting watch faces, be curious enough that you buy a book to learn more, and be met with medical and legal horror beyond anything you could have imagined. This was almost one of my favorite books of the year! Almost.

Radium Girls is very lovingly crafted and incredibly well-researched; one of those things that’s hard to get through but that you want to read sections of again as soon as you’ve finished. The umbrage I take with it is that it’s very Catholic. The author and many of her subjects are Irish and their religion is important to them, but it casts a martyr-y narrative over the whole thing that I found uncomfortable. Seventeen-year-old girls taking a factory job they didn’t know was dangerous are framed as brave, working-class heroes, but there’s not a set moral lesson to be gained from this story. Sarah Maillefer didn’t make “a sacrifice” when she agreed to the first radium tests, she agreed because she was terrified. She didn’t think she was helping she was begging for help.

The Mushroom at the End of the World: On the Possibility of Life in Capitalist Ruins by Anna Tsing Tsing is an incredibly skilled researcher and ethnographer; there are so many good ideas in this book that I’d almost consider it essential leftist text… if I could stand the way it was structured. Tsing posits that because nature is built on precariousness she will build her book the same way, allowing it to grow like a mushroom, and thus chapters don’t progress linearly and are written more like freeform poetry than a series of academic arguments. Some people are really going to love that, but I’m me and a mushroom is a mushroom and a book is a book. I don’t think in the way Tsing does, and while I tried to keep an open mind it’s hard to play along when something is this academically dense and makes so many ambitious claims. As if to prove how different our structuring methods are, I’ve made my own thoughts into a pros and cons list

Things I liked: • ‘Contamination’ as something inherent to diversity • ‘Scalability’ as a flawed way of thinking (Tsing has written whole essays about this that I find very compelling, but a main example here is that China and the US have come down on Japanese matsutake research for being too ‘site specific’ and not yielding enough empirical data) • Discussing how Americans were so invested in self-regulating systems in the 1950s we thought they could be applied to literally everything, including ecosystems • “The survivors of war remind us of the bodies they climbed over- or shot- to get to us. We don’t know whether to love or hate the survivors. Simple moral judgements don’t come to hand.” • Any and all fieldwork Tsing shares is amazing; I especially liked reading about the culture of mushroom pickers living in the Cascades and their contained market system

Things I didn’t like: • Statements that sound deep but aren’t, e.g- “help is always in the service of another.” (Yep. That’s what that means. Unless an organism is doing something to help itself which then nullifies your whole opening argument.) • A very debatable definition of utilitarianism • “Capitalism vs pre-capitalism,” which seems like an insanely black-and-white stance for a book all about finding hidden middle ground • A chapter I found really interesting about how intertwined Japanese and American economies are, but it tries to cover the entire history of US-Japan relations. Seriously, starting with Governor Perry and continuing through present day, this could have been a whole different book and it’s a good example of what I mean when I say arguments feel too scattered (the conclusion it reaches is that in the 80s the yen was finally able to hold its own against the dollar. Just explain that part.) • A chapter arguing that ‘true biological mutualism’ is rarely a focus of STEM and is a new sociological development/way of thinking which is just… flat-out not true

For all the comparisons art gets to ‘being on a drug trip’ this anthropology textbook has come the closest for me. Moments of profound human wisdom, intercut with things I had trouble understanding because I wasn’t on the same wavelength, intercut with even more things that felt false or irrelevant. I can’t put it on the nice list but I am glad I read it.

[panda-noosh]

May I submit one? A Shiro one where his S/O wants a child but he's not really against the idea but wants to wait a little longer. But when he finds out his S/O is pregnant, he starts crying tears of joy? If that makes sense...

words: 1.5k 

notes: here you go! x

+++

    Shiro couldn’t imagine himself as a father.

   Once upon a time, he wasn’t even able to properly imagine himself in any kind of romantic relationship, let alone starting a family with somebody else. He was too damaged for that. There were some days where he struggled to even care for himself. How could he sit and think about caring for a family of his own?

    He had met you many years ago, and the love had almost been instantaneous. He didn’t believe in love at first sight, thought it was nothing more than something to speed up fairy tales, but he had to admit that emotions had a way of tricking somebody into thinking they were in love. That was what it had been like the moment Shiro laid eyes on you for the first time; blood stained, crawling out of the battle field, coughing and wheezing as medics immediately darted from the confines of their ships to come and see to you and your crew - all of whom had ended up taking refuge on the castle ship, where you had ended up staying and becoming a major part of Team Voltron.

   Even in the chaos of the battle, Shiro had spent a good few minutes just trying to decipher these crazy feelings he was having; something about you had ignited him, lit him up like fireworks. He had never felt it before, had truly believed he had just fallen hostage to the cheesy ‘love at first sight’ trope that every single childrens book spoke about so fondly.

   Of course, that wasn’t the case. The feelings he felt for you upon first glance were only the tip of the ice berg. He knew when he had fallen in love with you - and the emotion was rooted much deeper than the one he had felt in that initial meeting.

    But despite these feelings, despite Shiro knowing he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, the idea of having a child still terrified him.

    He knew you wanted a child of your own. Things had settled down now, and the two of you had time to yourselves more often than not; you would both go out on day trips, or you would sit together and talk, lose yourselves in the others voice. Things were easier now, meaning starting a family wasn’t difficult, and could genuinely be done without danger now. Lance had already had a child with his wife, and Hunk was talking about trying - it was clear that you were ready to add a new addition to the little family you and Shiro already had going on.

    But it was easier said than done, and you never pushed Shiro to talk about if it he didn’t want to. The odd conversation brought up here and there, abruptly cut off whenever it was clear Shiro was getting uncomfortable with the subject; he liked it like that.

    It was on this particular day when Shiro failed to notice that something in the air of his small flat had shifted.  

   He had just finished a full day of work, was exhausted from the amount of lifting he had been forced to do, helping Allura and Hunk around the ship. His head was throbbing, his stomach aching with hunger. All he wanted was a good meal and to curl up into bed next to you, falling asleep until his next round of duty called.

    He stumbled into the kitchen, dropping his jacket on the back of the chair. The first red flag truly should have been your lack of presence, considering you always loved greeting him at the door on days when you yourself were off work - Shiro was fairly certain you hadn’t been called in, but he didn’t think too much of it. His headache was only getting worse. Perhaps you had just gone for a late shower.

    He started cooking dinner for himself, adding a little bit extra for you if you decided you wanted something. He then slumped down in the kitchen chair, holding his head in his hands as waited for his meal to cook. 

     “Shiro?”

   Your voice was timid, barely heard over the sound of the boiling water, but it was enough to have Shiro immediately lifting his head in the direction of the entryway. He caught a brief glimpse of your shirt through the crack in the door, narrowed his eyes when he noticed your hesitation to push the door open and enter. 

    “Y/N?” he called back. “I’m back from work. Do you want anything to eat?”

    You were quiet for a moment, still hesitating in the doorway. Shiro’s concern rose, his eyes narrowing further as he slowly stood up from his seat and made his way towards you.

    You noticed him only at the last minute. Your head had been ducked down when Shiro had finally arrived in the entryway, and when you looked up to see him standing over you, you squeaked and shoved your hands behind your back, stumbling away from him before he could reach for you.

    Shiro flinched away, holding his hands up as if to prove he wasn’t wielding weapons. You looked utterly terrified, an expression which Shiro had once hoped he would never have to see on your face when it came to him.

    “Hey, hey, hey,” he said soothingly. “What’s the matter? It’s just me.”

   You swallowed thickly, darting your eyes to the floor. “Can we talk before dinner?”

    Shiro’s stomach clenched. “Y/N… That doesn’t sound so good.”

    “Don’t - Don’t worry,” you said, a little too hastily for Shiro’s comfort. “I just have something to tell you, and I’d really like to do it before you eat. In case - you know - the news doesn’t sit well.”

    Shiro raised a brow, but nodded anyway. The two of you walked back into the kitchen, sitting across from each other, and for a moment, there was nothing but a slightly unsettling silence. Shiro didn’t know what to say; he just watched you as you kept your hands by your sides and shifted to and fro in your seat, as if waiting for the right moment to speak up.

    Finally, he couldn’t take the silence. “Is everything okay?”

    Your head shot up. “What?”

   “Y/N, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. Did something happen whilst I was at work?” He reached forward, silently asking for your hand, but you merely stared at his upturned palm. He refused to pull away, but continued on anyway. “If something happened, you should have called me. You know I would have gotten home in-”

    “Nothing bad happened,” you finally said, sounding like the words were being forcefully ripped from your throat rather than you saying them willingly. “At least it’s not - it’s not for me.” You glanced up shyly then. “But I don’t know what you’ll think.”

    Shiro was growing more and more panicked as the seconds ticked by. How was he meant to respond to something like that? Did he ask for an explanation? Did he let you take your time with whatever it was you were trying to say?

    He gently shook his head, ready to ask what you were talking about, but the words never passed his lips. He didn’t need to say anything, not before you were bringing your hands up from beneath the table and placing a stick in his palms.

   For a second, that was all Shiro could see - a white and blue stick, nothing special. Perhaps it was his headache that made his procession of the situation a little slower, or perhaps it was just his shock that had suddenly clambered into his body at full force.

   “Two lines,” you whispered, nodding towards the pregnancy test nervously. “I’m pregnant, Shiro. You’re gonna be a dad.”

    The very few times that Shiro imagined himself in this situation, not one of those fantasies involved crying; he didn’t cry. He always imagined himself wrapping you in a hug, pressing a kiss to your hair, perhaps calling up Team Voltron to gush about the latest news - but not once did he ever imagine himself crying in a situation like this.

   But the tears were falling before he could even fully process they were building. He stared down at the pregnancy test in his hand, lower lip wobbling, eyes clouding over with an emotion so strong he didn’t even know how to fully put it into words.

   You reached over and grabbed his hand, gently rubbing your thumb along his knuckles. “Are you happy?”

    He immediately nodded, because he was. It was an unexpected feeling of pure happiness, as if every single worry that had once clouded his being was dissolved, being replaced with something so much bigger than he could ever imagine.

    You smiled. “I’m so glad to hear that, Shiro. You’re gonna be an amazing Dad.”

    He smiled. He wasn’t sure whether he was ready to believe that or not, but one thing he knew for certain - he was going to be the best father he could possibly be. 

[sofreakinmanyfandoms]

The Nice Guy - Clint Barton X Reader college!AU - 1/6

I don’t remember if it was @rogue-barnes-16 or @cryforfandoms who inspired this, but it was one of them. Plus, I’m having so much fun writing Clint in NCNR, and also I’m sick of the trope of unrequited love actually being requited. (You’ll find out as you read it.) So, here you go. My first Clint Barton fic.

EDIT: I apparently accidentally removed the “keep reading” before posting. Sorry to everyone who found that before I fixed it.

Word count: 1453

Warnings: Mild angst. A tiny bit of commentary on my opinion of the traditional idea of masculinity. 

The small party was in full swing when you arrived at Clint and Natasha’s new place. They had used Christmas break to move into their off-campus apartment and had invited your core friend group over for a New Year’s Eve bash.

The three of you had grown up together, and although your friend group had expanded once you were in college, you were still each other’s best friends. They had invited you to join them when the apartment hunt had started, but you’d just been upgraded to a solo apartment at your residence hall and were looking forward to not having roommates for once in your life.

“Hey, there she is!” Sam called out as you entered. “Riley! Your girl’s here!”

Your boyfriend, Sam’s roommate Riley, emerged from around the corner.

“Hey baby,” he greeted you, leaning in to give you a kiss and taking the grocery bags from your hand. “What did you bring?”

“Three bags each of nacho cheese and cool ranch Doritos for us normal people,” you grinned, pulling out a yellow bag. “And, of course, one bag of plain Doritos for the weirdo.”

“I heard that,” Clint said, swooping in from somewhere to grab them from you. “I’d be mad, but I’ve been seriously craving nachos all day. Thanks, Y/N.” He shoved a few dollar bills in your hand and bolted for the kitchen.

“Y/N, can you make sure he doesn’t light our new microwave on fire?” Nat called to you from living room. “He forgot to take the plastic off one of them last time.”

You winced and called back your agreement, giving Riley a peck on the cheek before following Clint.

“I can’t believe you can actually crave nachos with a recipe like that,” you teased Clint as you entered the kitchen.

He looked up at you from where he was peeling the plastic off squares of American cheese. “Says the lactose intolerant chic who wouldn’t know good nachos if they did the salsa in front of her. I don’t know how you stand that vegan cheese stuff.”

“At least I’m not dropping sandwich squares of cheap cheese on a plate of boring chips,” you shot back. “Have you ever considered, I don’t know, adding something with flavor? Taco meat, or salsa, or something? Heck, even flavored Doritos would make that stuff better.”

Clint dropped his plate in the microwave and shook his head. “There’s nothing wrong with simple. Besides, I’m in college; I’m taking advantage of the expectation I won’t know how to cook. I have to learn enough stuff in class already, so no way am I trying to cram more kitchen info into my brain when I can survive just fine on this stuff.”

You sighed and shook your head. “You’re hopeless, Barton, you know that?”

“And you love me anyway,” he grinned, dropping an arm around your shoulders.

“Whatever lets you sleep at night,” you laughed, shrugging off his shoulder and wandering back out to the party.

Clint watched you leave and sighed. Having you and your boyfriend hanging off each other in his apartment was going to test his self-control all night. This was going to be a long party.

---------- 

You settled in next to Nat, who was curled up in her boyfriend Bucky’s lap. He was talking to Sam and Riley, leaving her free to converse with you.

“How are you two enjoying the new apartment so far?”

“It’s so nice being off-campus,” she admitted. “Clint’s a great roommate, too, when he’s not melting plastic in the microwave. Are you enjoying living alone?”

“Gosh, yes,” you sighed, “it’s perfect. No one leaves dishes in the sink overnight or their coat on the couch.”

She laughed and shook her head. “You always were a bit of a neat freak.”

“Hey, Nat?” Bucky shot you a look of apology as he cut into your conversation. “Can I get up, doll? I’d like to go with the guys who are picking up some pizza.”

Nat pouted at him, but you could see the smile she was trying to hide. “But I’m comfy,” she whined.

“If all the guys all go, we’ll get a few minutes of girl time,” you offered.

Bucky gave you a grateful smile when Natasha sighed and stood up. He, Sam, and Riley gathered their coats as Steve came up with his car keys.

“Hey, Barton, wanna join us?” Sam called. “We’re gonna go get pizzas and drinks. The girls are staying here to do who knows what girly stuff. We’ve got one more seat in the car.”

“Nah,” Clint said as he came around the corner, nachos in hand. “I’m gonna stay and finish these.”

“He’s practically one of the girls anyway,” Nat teased. “It can still be a girl’s night.”

Riley leaned over and kissed you on the cheek. “We’ll be back in an hour, baby.”

“All right,” you smiled up at him, “see you then.”

----------- 

“What the hell?”

At Sam’s exclamation, the three of you looked up at the guys who had just tromped in with the pizzas and a few cases of soda.

“What?” Clint asked innocently.

You and Natasha were seated on the floor facing each other, painting each other’s toenails. Clint’s were already finished; he was leaning his back against the couch and reading an article from the latest issue of Us Weekly aloud as they dried.

Sam gave his feet a pointed look. “Your toenails are hot pink.”

“The color,” Clint informed him, “is called Bachelorette Bash. Nat’s are Russian Roulette and Y/N’s are Loot the Booty.”

Riley made a choking sound. You shot him a glare.

“Pirate booty, Babe. Treasure. Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Man,” Sam shook his head, “you’re crazy.”

“Told you he was practically one of us,” Nat laughed.

You grinned up at your boyfriend. “I’d be happy to do yours next.”

“I think I’ll pass,” he said with a smile, bending over to kiss you on the top of your head. “Maybe Sam’ll take you up on the offer.”

“Like hell I will,” Sam muttered, drawing a laugh from his roommate.

“I’ll take mine in mint green,” Bucky announced, flopping down on the couch.

Nat blew on your toes as she finished the last one and reached for a bottle of base coat. “Do you mean Chillato, Mint Candy Apple, or Bon Boy-age?”

“The first one.”

“Dibs on…” Steve scooped up a bottle and read the color title, “Leggy Legend.”

“Shoes and socks off,” you laughed as you took the bottle from him. “Do you want base and top coat too, or just the polish?”

He looked at you like you were crazy. “Duh, base and top coat too! Gotta help that color last as long as possible.”

Sam shot a look at Riley. “We’re surrounded by crazies.”

“It’s just polish,” Bucky scoffed. “It’s not like having colorful toenails puts your manhood in jeopardy.”

“You could learn a thing or two from us,” Clint said with a nod. “We have attractive women fussing over our feet.”

“If you’re concerned about people seeing the color, I have some nearly invisible sheer polish you’re welcome to use,” Nat informed them, finishing the basecoat on Bucky’s second foot. “It doesn’t even have a girly name.”

“Shine makes your nails look healthier,” Steve teased.

“I’m good, really,” Sam insisted with a shake of his head.

“Same,” Riley agreed.

The two of them passed around sodas and slices of pizza to those who were stuck in place while their toenails dried. By the time the ball dropped on TV, everyone’s polish was dry and people had resituated themselves around the room.

“You know, we’re in New York,” Steve remarked dryly. “We could’ve gone to see the ball drop in person.”

“Yes, but the apartment is warmer,” Clint pointed out.

“Touché.”

The singles in the room cheered as the ball dropped, while the two couples kissed.

“Happy New Year, Baby,” Riley whispered.

You smiled back. “Happy New Year.”

---------- 

Well, that could have gone worse, Clint told himself as he lay in bed, the party long over. He’d gotten an hour with you and Natasha without Riley around kissing you every few minutes. He’d had to glue his eyes to the TV for your New Year’s kiss, but as hard as it had been to see you happy with someone else, he did like to see you happy. Maybe if he hadn’t been a coward through high school, you’d be happy with him instead.

He rolled over and curled himself around his extra pillow. As he slept, thoughts of you kept drifting through his head. Your smile, your laugh, the way you lit up at his stupid jokes….

Yeah, he definitely had it bad.

[trainsinanime]

Animes I watched recently

After „Saga of Tanya the Evil“ (short version: A brutal and fascinating look not just at the horrors of war, but also at the people who happily make it horrible), I also watched some other anime that I wanted to talk about. These were all on the front page of Crunchyroll, so if you know more about anime than about trains, then you may not find anything all that new here.

By the way: There will not be a Trains In Anime review for any of them. Almost all of them feature trains in minor roles, but all of them are set in modern-day Japan (often with more or less magic stuff added). The problem with that is that animators generally get modern-day japanese trains right, or at least so right that I can’t tell the difference, and there’s really not much to say on that front. So here just some general notes:

Interviews with Monster Girls

I strongly think the english title carries completely wrong connotations. It’s a slice-of-life school anime where some of the kids are various kinds of demons that used to be feared and hated, but are now accepted in normal schools. It’s a nice and sweet look at minority issues, with a focus on disability, including things like endonyms and exonyms for groups, accessibility, prejudice and so on.

Like all these stories (see also: X-Men, Star Trek) it suffers from the problem where it’s talking about minorities and the problems they face without actually having any minorities of any kind in it. That doesn’t undercut its point, but it’s a waste of potential.

What does actually undercut its point are all the jokes about inappropriate teacher-student relationships, since one of the main characters is a teacher for the other main characters. It always stays at a level where it’s all just jokes, but it’s there with an intensity where I’m always expecting something really uncomfortable to happen (though it hasn’t yet), and that expectation is making me uncomfortable. So overall a big maybe on the recommendation side.

JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure

Well… this does feature several characters who could be shortened to JoJo, and it is certainly bizarre, so the title isn’t lying. It seems to be an action anime with a very stylised visual language, featuring the guy with the worst hair cut in the world on his mission to convince everyone that it isn’t actually all that bad, or something. Truth to be told, I didn’t like any of the characters, I found nothing interesting in the premise, and I stopped watching after the first episode. I know it’s really popular, so maybe things will improve later. Or maybe it just isn’t for me.

Twin Star Exorcists

Fundamentally a standard anime of the type „giant faceless monsters threaten mankind; the only protection are weirdly-dressed wizard-types using overly flashy fight moves; we follow a young badass and his team on his way to become the most badass of all time“ (sub-type: Modern-day Japan, monsters are invisible to everyone but mages). Its unique selling point is that it is also a love story: The youngest most badass is actually two people, a boy and a girl, and destiny has foretold that they’ll fall in love, get married, and have a child that will end the war and put them and all of their friends out of a job. (Weirdly, despite that, most of them never try to develop a backup career path).

The story is straightforward except for a filler arc that is nice but not well integrated with character development, meaning the power level of the two heroes and how much respect they get from their peers fluctuates widely. Either way, the show works really well when it is about the two main characters and how they first become a team, then friends, then maybe something more. It works considerably less well when it’s about its own mythology, its Big Bad and so on. This is partly because it has nothing new and interesting to offer there. But the biggest problem is that this is always focused on the boy, even though the girl is just as deeply involved in the whole thing as he is.

Sadly, we seem to be heading for the end now, and here they screwed it all up. The guy main hero pulled an „I’ll be an asshole to you now so you’ll stay away while I sacrifice myself so you can be safe“. It works in no small part because she’s currently in a wheelchair, still recovering from a previous fight, and physically can’t stop him. I hate him for that. Of course it’s very clear that in the next few episodes, she will come to his side and her love for him will save him. Still, he totally took away her choice in the matter and did not respect either her skill or her involvement in the matter. That bothers me to no end. It also doesn’t help that the show is now all about the relationship of the male hero and the main villain, and the backstory of the main hero, all of which are things we’ve seen in every other anime of this type before as well.

In the end, live’s too short for average TV, and so I’m not going to recommend this. Sure, if you’re bored, you could do a lot worse than watch this. Maybe stop after the end of the arc where they put the city in the air. But you could also watch something so much better (e.g. the two right after this), so why bother?

Miss Kobayashi’s Dragon Maid

Easily my favourite of the bunch, despite the weirdest premise: A normal woman got so drunk that she apparently ended up finding an actual real-life dragon, saved it from some unspecified harm, and offered it to move in with her. The dragon (who can magically transform into more or less a human woman) agrees and moves in to become her maid. From there follows a story with quite a bit of fan service, lots of humorous „fish out of water“ moments, but mostly just a really nice and sweet story about these people connecting, becoming friends, and becoming better people as a result. It’s adorable, funny, well-paced and animated, and really worth a watch. The opening also has great ear-worm qualities.

Food Wars

The most epic battle anime ever… and it’s about cook-offs. This entire thing feels like a Gintama sketch that has gotten way too big, but they’re doing it entirely straight-faced, and it’s glorious. The premise is that a bunch of kids with unique dress and cooking styles (i.e. standard anime heroes) are at an elite cooking academy to become the bests chefs ever. And the way they do is through intense crowd-drawing cooking competitions that are portrayed as classic Shounen anime fights.

The novelty value is one thing, but this also really nails the execution. Between opponents, judges and an adoring public, every move on the stage gets commented on as if it meant the difference between life and death. „Oh no, he added apples. Could it be-?“ A simple „but there’s also soup!“ is delivered with more impact than someone in Bleach learning a new form of their sword. The visual metaphors for the battles and especially the verdicts by the judges are ridiculously over-the-top and amazing.

Of course it has all the standard tropes. You better believe that defeat means friendship, that characters question their entire life choices when faced with a superior meal, and that you totally can win by remembering how important your friends and family are. There’s also a great roster of characters that seem stock, but are really well executed, like „evil spying bad guy chef“, „fan service chef“, „cute girl with self-esteem issues chef“, „working class hero chef“ (our protagonist), „scary rocker chef“ (specialty: sea food) or, my personal favourite, „mad scientist chef“. She’s just so delightfully bratty.

When I watch an episode, at some point I always just start giggling uncontrollably and never ever stop. This is the yardstick by which I will measure all other battle animes from now on. Thanks to weird web design, Crunchyroll may decide to start you on season two, and having watched it like that, I think this may be the best way to experience the show. Just the barest of character introductions and then right into the madness. Either way, if you like anime where people battle each other and want to become stronger for their friends and family interest you at all, then you have to watch this.

Chaos;Child

I wanted to write something flippant here about how it seems to be trying to be weird just for weirdness’s sake, or how none of the characters are interesting or likeable, or the zeroth episode that seems to be there just to fool you into thinking that this whole thing is deeper than it really is… but that would all be dishonest.

This is an anime about truly bizarre murders, committed (it is hinted) through mind control, with lots of weird and seemingly disjointed elements and characters and events that don’t seem physically possible, and it’s really, really good. After watching the zeroth and first episode, I do actually think all the things I mentioned above, but those are all irrelevant: The murders really are horrific, the tense scenes really are tense, and I’m genuinely getting scared. In fact, I got so scared that I decided to stop watching.

If you��re into that kind of show, then this may be a very good example of that kind of show. But remember: Do you want nightmares? Because this is how you get nightmares.

[ao3feed-voltronlegendarydefender]

JESUS TAKE THE WHEEL *CAPS NOT NECESSARY BUT THEY ADD AN EFFECT?? I CAN'T SPELL

read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/13931190

by ButterflyCrossing

Guys we need to say its beta'd. And have a perfect summary. The summary needs to have nothing to do with the fic. Please regard this as the perfect summary you've always wanted.

beware all ye who enter here

[number of people who worked on it because i forget] idiots write a fic making fun of every single trope in fanfiction

Words: 2010, Chapters: 3/69, Language: English

Fandoms: hell - Fandom, Supernatural, Rick and Morty, Haikyuu!!, 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, Voltron: Legendary Defender, Hetalia: Axis Powers, Homestuck, Ouran High School Host Club - All Media Types, Bee Movie (2007)

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other

Characters: Rick Sanchez (Rick and Morty), Rick Sanchez (Supernatural), Oikawa Tooru, Reader, PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME, Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, Mary Sue - Character, Yagi Toshinori | All Might, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic, fucking mineta is a peice of shit stop thinking hes a good character ok thanks bye

Relationships: everyone x reader, Mary Sue/Everyone, Present Mic/All Might/Segway, Rick Sanchez/Rick Sanchez, Midoriya Izuku/Yagi Toshinori | All Might, chapter 4 is the bee movie scripe

Additional Tags: muppet fun, god is dead and we killed him, nobody fucking likes pennsylvania not even the pennsylvanian, grace moved there and can confirm, no fandom we die like men. Crossover of hell, No backspace we die like men, no quotation marks we die like men, No spell-checking we die like men, No return key we die like men. WORD BLOCKS UNITE, No flowing dialogue we die like men, no reality we die like computer simulations, I saw something about reader insert and something else about second person, Crack, Use every tag you can think of even if it doesnt apply, Crossover of hell, hair colors- freeform, Y'all'd've'f'ld've, In the style of My Immortal, but actually worse, were not actually sorry about this, weve seen too many bad fics, and we're here to educate, by making the worst of them all, "she breasted breastily over to the mirror to admire her breasts", mary sues are the best, why isnt this thing cooked yet, its been 25 minutes, chop chop - Freeform, segway sex if zion allows it, mackeling, the word said is cursed, names are cursed, this fic is cursed, youre cursed for actually fucking reading this you heathen what are you doing with your life, Betaed, to make it worse tbh, we had people look it over, and add on, to make it even worse, are you proud of us yet, we certainly are, scratch n sniff with someone's ass, KISS KISS FALL IN LOVE MOTHERFUCKERS, Some of the authors chose to remain anonymous but they are still loved, Don't Read This, if you can read through this whole thing youre a fucking champion, or a heathen, or a heather, im not sure tbh, 420 ayyyyy, is it custard? is it blondies? who the fuck knows, also we are absolutely coming after s O ME PEOPLE, grace accidentally made custards while we were trying to tag this, shirin is fucking cackling, 'some things are meant for you and a few friends don't post it on the internet', an actual opinion we share, not a crack tag for once

read it on the AO3 at http://archiveofourown.org/works/13931190