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p0orbaby · 7 months ago

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summary: you and your wife finally have some alone time. you plan to make the most of it.

warnings: SMUT 18+, (r receiving) oral, fingering, corse language, top!leah he he

a/n: for context, leah is retired, hence the two preteens. got it? good! you may proceed

word count: 2.1k

Being a parent meant a multitude of things.

It meant being needed. There was always a constant stream of demands. Sports. Doctors appointments. Last minute pieces of homework and late night supermarket runs.

It meant sleepless nights and early mornings. When the baby’s cries pierce the silence, and you stumble out of bed, bleary-eyed and exhausted. Breakfast times full of spilt juice and lunches left on the kitchen counter. Letters home from school for late arrivals.

Being a parent meant endless love and boundless patience. It meant witnessing your child's first steps and hearing their first words. Life lessons in tying shoelaces and graduating from sippy cups. Missing teeth on picture day.

It meant sacrifices, sometimes putting your own needs aside to ensure others’ were met. Eating lukewarm dinners whilst you soothed a toddler with a grazed knee. Declined invitations for drinks replaced by nights in with full nappies and colic.

Being a parent meant you had an utter lack of privacy.

Especially on weekends.

It was early. Too early for a Saturday. The sun just about peaking over the roofs of houses and the morning dew still wet diamonds on grass. And hopefully your moans muffled by egyptian cotton whilst paired with the morning chirps of the sparrows nesting in the conifers in your backyard.

She’s been graced with rare silence. A hum of quiet through the house as she peels her eyes open and finds them blinking away the dawn. No misplaced P.E kit. No preteen drama echoing down the landing. Just her, her wife and the strategic wandering of warm hands.

You stir slightly at her touch. Twitching as her fingers trace along your shoulder. Your neck. The underside of your jaw. She could see your eyes moving behind their lids, and she chuckled at how you shifted when she moved sleep mussed hair from your face.

“What time is it?” You murmur, your voice still heavy with sleep.

She replies with her lips against your bare shoulder. “Early”. It was a whisper. Her breath ghosting across your skin sending a shiver down your spine.

You hum in satisfaction. Rolling over, stretching as you did. The duvet shifting to reveal a smattering of bruising across your bare chest. Gradients of purples and blues. A signature left the last time she had the pleasure of getting to see her wife this way.

With kids nothing is sacred. Showers that were once shared gasping into each other's mouths now quick jobs of practically. What would have been spontaneous trists against the kitchen counter have been replaced with delicate planning and aligned schedules.

Except times like this.

When the kids are occupied. Their adolescence spearheading their ability to act independently. Video Games set up downstairs. Sleeping in late as the consequence of midnight movie watching. They were old enough to occupy themselves now, and it was something you have never been more grateful for.

“What plans have we got on the rota for today?” You ask, then lean up to catch her lips with yours. Exhaling out your nose when she lingers.

She savors the taste of you for a moment longer, then replies with a smile, “for a change, nothing”

She lets her eyes travel down your body. A glaringly obvious yet silent indication of what she wanted to do to fill your rare free time.

You were just as tuned in to your surroundings as she was. Your body stilling and eyes narrowing slightly as you listen for any noise. No arguing about whose turn it was with the remote. No thud of the football against the wall outside. The coast was clear. You approved of her ogling.

Adjusting yourself so you were flat on your back again, you grabbed her hand as you went. Pulling her down with you as you settled against the pillows once more.

“You think you can be quiet?” She asks, though she knows exactly what the answer will be.

You nod, and her green eyes glint in the morning sun. The apples of her cheeks still flushed pink from sleep.

She leans on an elbow, a hand keeping her head upright as she uses the other to trace the curves and rivulets of your body. Starting at your collarbone, a single finger drawing delicately over soft skin. Then down your chest, circling each violet mark she’d gifted you a few days prior, before her touch whispered down the valley of your breasts.

You giggle softly when she pushes the covers off you further, tickling your stomach. The stretch marks under your naval textured beneath her fingers.

She toys with the waistband of your panties when she gets there. Frilly little things that make her mouth water.

“New set?”

“Got it last week”

“On your girls trip?”

“Mhm”

She taps your hip bone and you lift your hips for her. Smooth and practiced as you slide your underwear down your legs. Yes you had some cherished time alone, but the practicality of swiftly undressing yourselves after years of marriage and kids was a habit you couldn’t easily shake.

When her own clothes have been shed and discarded into the belly of the room somewhere, she rolls atop you. Arms caging you in as she runs her nose along the length of yours, smiling when you crane your neck to attack her lips.

“Impatient woman” she scolds playfully, and you pout, a weakness of hers. So she appeases you by kissing your pout away, something slow and soft and sugar coated.

You hum when you part, eyes fluttering when she kisses down your body. Teeth nipping at your skin, red blooming over the purple. You like this. You always have. The care, the time she takes with you. You want to be worshiped and she was more than happy to kneel at your feet.

“So pretty” she whispers against your bruises. “My perfect girl”

The covers are fully kicked off the bed now and her exposed skin prickles in the cold. And yours dimples too when she places a nipple in her mouth and sucks.

Your fingers automatically find themselves in her hair. Keeping her head exactly where you want it. Only letting her move so she can give your other nipple the same treatment.

When you were pregnant, you wouldn’t let her anywhere near them. She could even so much as look at your chest and you’d be squirming painfully in your seat. So now, whenever she gets the chance, she does this. Attaches herself to them until you buck underneath her.

You’re normally wet enough by then anyway.

“Turn over” she instructs. Her warm breath cools the saliva that paints your chest. “Lay on your front for me”

You do, of course. You roll and lay pliant for her, letting her grab you hips, lifting them off the mattress unexpectedly. Squealing as she moves you around.

“Shh baby” she mumbles against your skin, curling around you to place kisses along your spine. “Gotta be quiet”

You nod. Your face pressing against the sheets. Eyes closed and lips parted in anticipation. Then you furrowed your brows when you didn’t hear the draw of the bedside table open. Instead, hearing her shuffle against the linen behind you.

“So wet already” she states, to herself really. You are wide open for her at this point. Legs apart, ass up, nothing left to the imagination and you’re squirming under her gaze as she inspects you.

Then, with a single finger, she traces a line on you from top to bottom. Starting at your slit and ending with the little bundle of nerves hiding from her from inside its hood.

“Fuuuuck” you drawl out. Your expletive muffled by how your face was nestled into the sheets.

Then, using her palms to open you even wider, she gathers saliva in her mouth and spits. Watching as it drips down you, over your folds. Wetting you even further.

“You ready?” She asks. Your response is just a grunt and a preemptive grip on the sheets beside your head. More than enough of an answer in her opinion. So she gets to work.

Leaning forward on her knees, she stretches her neck and attaches her mouth to your cunt. Your skin hot and sticky as she uses her tongue to lap you up, slow and steady.

Above her, you moan again. “Oh fuck”

You were many things, and vocal in the bedroom was one of them. It was great when it was just the two of you. The way you would cry out her name when you were cumming. Or moaned loudly each time she’d thrust into you. God, it turned her on just thinking about it. But since having kids, the task of keeping you quiet was getting more and more difficult.

And the last thing you both wanted was your adolescent children finding the two of you going at it.

She pops up from between your legs, “Y/N, you need to be quiet”

“I’m trying” you grit out. The effort in your voice evident with your curt response. She soothes your frustrations by running her hands up and down your back. You relax again at her touch.

Settling herself back behind you, she starts again. A small lick along the length of you. A dip into your hole. A suck on your clit when she reaches it. The combination of all three getting you riled again, something she doesn’t think will be helped much.

She could feel your legs shaking the more she worked at you. But she refuses to let up until she makes you climax this way. Eating you out was a rare treat for the both of you. She wasn't missing the opportunity to hit home run, jaw ache be damned.

In all honesty it didn’t take long to get what she wanted. A flick of her tongue and a hard suck has you tumbling aggressively over the edge. The low groan into the feather pillows has her heart pounding with nerves, but as you bucked your hips against her face for even more friction, she finds it difficult to care.

“Onto your back” she instructs as she pulls away and wipes her mouth with the back of her hand. “C’mon baby, turn over”

“I can't,” you say, sounding weak as you slump your tired body onto the mattress with a sigh.

“Yeah, you can. My good girl”

She gives you a second to recover. Your body weak and your skin alight from your orgasm. Twitching at even the sheets touching your sensitive skin. You let out a whimper as you roll over.

You were a sight. Sweaty and flushed with your hair sticking to your forehead. You were only one orgasm in and you were wrecked. She grins triumphantly at her achievements.

“Fuck, you’re hot” she says, ogling you even more. Watching your breasts sway with each little movement you make in order to get comfortable. “Like, really hot”

You just scoff and roll your eyes playfully at her words. After all these years, you have never gotten used to the way she flirts with you. Like a love sick teenager smitten with your every move.

“And you talk way too much” you huff out. Your chest rising and falling as you wait impatiently for her to finish what she has started. “The kids-“

“Are still asleep” she encourages, caressing your face with her palm. “Patience”

Your eyes flutter closed when her thumb traces over your bottom lip, pulling it from where it was caught between your teeth. Releasing it with a pop.

“Suck”

Without even a second thought you open your mouth, ready for whatever she decided to give to you. She settles on two fingers this time. Middle and index pressing onto your tongue.

You take them happily, sucking them into your mouth and curling your tongue around them both. Moaning as she pushes deeper. Gagging when she didn’t let up. Her head tilts as tears spill from your eyes. Glassy and oh so turned on.

She removes them and you breathe a hard, wet breath. Gasping for relief. It wasn’t something she did often, played rough. But when she did, you both reveled in it afterwards. Eyes secretly sliding over hidden bruises poking out of collars. Mouths watering at each wince when bums meet chairs. It was exciting. Keeping secrets between the two of you would never fail to get you hot and bothered.

Taking a second, she starts to walk her fingers down your body. Leaving wet fingerprints in their wake as her hand heads south.

“Ready for more?” She asks, smirking at the way you moan her name when her fingers press into you.

Ready? More ready than you’ve ever been.

#leah williamson #leah williamson x reader #awfc #awfc x reader #engwnt #engwnt x reader #woso #woso x reader #woso imagine

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 7 months ago

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i read one of the old requests about teenage reader and ror characters with rhabdomyolysis -i hope i wrote that right-, and then i thought about reader getting comfortable again in her body yk, after months of avoiding exhausting physical activities and doing the bare minimum to avoid risks, a complete 180 from her active lifestyle that kept her in excellent shape, now body changes can be easily seen for the worse in her eyes and maybe reader is not liking the way her body is changing in the context of the feeling weak or scawny, so the family is there to reassure her about it:P

-It felt like you were trapped, trapped in a body that was not your own. You were an active person, always outside, running around, playing various sports, and now you were looking out into the backyard, confined to your bed.

-It wasn’t forever, that’s what your family and your doctors all told you. You had just gone too hard for too long, and your body had been at risk of shutting down, nearly killing yourself.

-You had to wonder while watching people running past your house, would it have been worth it, if you would have continued doing what you loved, even with the risk?

-Your family knew you were struggling, basically being grounded, unable to do anything, no working out, no exercise, you had to sit there and rest.

-Your whole life had done a 180, and it was hard for you to adjust.

-They tried doing what they could to help, bringing you books, puzzles, video games, things that would help you stay put and relax, they would sit with you, telling you stories, talking with you, anything to keep your mind off going out.

-You were allowed to go outside after the first week, getting cabin fever, but you couldn’t do anything except sit on the swinging bench chair on the covered porch.

-It was like dying but without dying, that’s how you felt, even if the more logical side of your brain was calling you overdramatic.

-Your family was supportive, knowing you were going through a rough patch at the moment, as they had one of your doctors provide them with some insight on how you were feeling.

-Kojiro and Lu Bu felt it when they compared your loss of exercise if they were to just stop training and fighting, being unable to do so. Loki couldn’t do any pranks, Jack couldn’t have any tea, everyone had their own thing that made up such a big part of their life, they just didn’t realize it until faced with the prospect of not being able to do it.

-At your one month follow up, you were elated when your doctor said you could go on one walk day, it wasn’t much, but you were finally allowed to go out, with supervision of course, just so you didn’t overdo it.

-You weren’t allowed to run around, you just had to walk, which was nice, and after not doing anything for a while, your muscles were hurting from just a walk around the park.

-Adam had nearly panicked when he saw you being carried on Leonidas’ back, piggy-back style, as your muscles had started spasming, but that was normal, after a panicked call to your doctor, as your muscles had to slowly get back to normal.

-You were happy that you weren’t stuck at home anymore, but it was going to be a long process.

-Your family was going to be right there for you, through this whole process, and you felt like you couldn’t appreciate them more for all this.

#record of ragnarok #ror x reader

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televisionenjoyer · 9 months ago

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this. little beastie (she’s barely four kilos despite eating more than the other two cats combined) loves begging to go outside. and then she spends maybe 15 minutes out there before throwing herself bodily at the screen door to come in. like. its cool that she learned to knock but jesus christ. you can hear it from the other end of the house akdjdhdh. also context for the photo she likes things that are sweaty for some reason?? so like shoes and hats and sports towels??? gross little weirdo

MY DOG WILL LITERALLY LICK SWEAT SHE'S A WEIRDO. anyways my cat has learned to swing the keychain that hangs from the backyard's door to ask to go outside. Cats are so weird

#my cat poops almost exclusively outside and pees exclusively inside btw she's a freak of nature she has cat autism

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noaheadiegamedev · 2 years ago

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Thursday Thrashers Mission Statement - What is Thursday Thrashers?

Elevator Pitch Thursday Thrashers is a sci-fi/fantasy tabletop skirmish game inspired by hero shooters (Paladins, Overwatch, Valorant, etc), which pits small teams of proven warriors - "thrashers" - against one-another in tense, tactical fights.

Background/Lore Thor - cosmic super-fighter and liberator of sentient life - hosts grand tournaments of volunteer gladiatorial combat on the millions of arena-worldlets dotted across the Valhalla Asteroid Belt. This regular event is Thursday's namesake (Thor's Day). The asteroids are enchanted to resurrect anyone slain on their grounds - thus, death is so trivialized, that the games take an air of backyard wrestling as opposed to something more serious. The thrashers fight primarily for the sport of it. When Thor watches these games, the valorous displays of wit and cunning inspire him, further invigorating his own efforts to fight the good fight.

(More info after the jump!)

Mechanical Focus If you don't know what hero shooters or skirmish games are: Thursday Thrashers is about making teams of cool dudes fight each other. Instead of a grid, you use a ruler to physically measure distances and movement. Each thrasher has a bunch of unique abilities, and mastering these thrashers' abilities and their synergies is the key to victory.

Thursday Thrashers' mechanics are designed to emulate hero shooters. You build a small team of thrashers, each of which fits one of four roles - Bolt (fast), Assault (damage-y), Tank (tough), or Support (healing). They then start play at their team's spawn, then depending on the scenario, usually rush to a central point in a fight for control. Once a thrasher is slain, they respawn back at base, and can run right back into the action. Over the course of the game, thrashers gain "meter", which they can use to perform game-changing ultimate abilities.

Overall, the game's rules are light-to-medium weight - if you've played a skirmish game before, you'll be familiar with most of the ideas. The main fold comes in how it handles evading attacks. When a thrasher is activated, they gain "steps", which is a resource spent on movement. They can spend these to move on their turn, and/or save them for when they're attacked later on. When a thrasher is targeted for an attack, they can spend remaining steps to move out of harm's way. Depending on how and where they evade, they can end up making the attack less accurate, or escape it altogether if they end up behind cover. What this means, is that the further your move on your turn, the easier it is to attack you without recourse - but the more you prioritize avoiding taking damage, the easier it is for your opponent to outmaneuver you. As a result, Thursday Thrashers is a game all about positioning, planning your movement, and pushing your luck.

Though it isn't an overly heavyweight game, it isn't entirely casual either. I'm building it to have space for hardcore, high-skill play, and at base, there is some precision involved in measuring movement, resolving abilities, and so on. Also, due to the way I plan to produce it (more details in a bit), there is a certain amount of initial time investment required to prepare the game components. However, I'm also building the game to be as clear as possible, and include plenty of on-boarding resources for new players. This includes, for example, marking how complex a given thrasher is, so that new players don't overwhelm themselves with thrashers that take a lot of care and experience to pilot properly. If you've wanted to play a complex game with a lot of room for strategic depth, but are intimidated/overwhelmed by the prospect of getting started, my goal is to make Thursday Thrashers the game for you.

Tone/Direction I want Thursday Thrashers to be a fun, lighthearted game, both for the players and within the context of the setting.

For example, I limit how often I refer to it as a "wargame", since the conflicts you're partaking in have completely different connotations than warfare. It's a term I'll need to use sometimes to get relevant people looking at it, but its connection to "war" begins and ends with mechanical similarities with other games under the wargaming moniker. The stakes are typically low by design - it's all about the sport of it - the thrashers are here to have fun, just as much as you are as someone playing the game. Everyone partaking in the fights is aware of the stakes and of any potential consequences, and is capable of consenting to participation in pseudo-lethal violence. This includes more animalistic characters - if there is a beast, monster, or other such creature, I am assuring you that there was some way in-universe that the Thrasher League has established an unambiguous mutual understanding, and I will avoid making any allusions to the contrary.

I'm also prioritizing the diversity of characters - both in terms of speculative fiction concepts, and in real-life backgrounds. Many characters are LGBTQ+, and it's unquestionably supported in the setting. There aren't heroes and villains, so much are there are faces and heels, and even for the most edgy characters, there are certain lines they will not cross - Thor is running an upstanding arena establishment, after all.

If there's a character whose concept is closely related to real-world cultures or contexts, I'll do my due research, and reach out to the relevant community if I'm not comfortable tackling that subject matter myself. I'm putting an active effort into this, but even then I am not perfect. If there's a consensus that a character's allusions to reality - intended or otherwise - are poor representation or otherwise discomforting, I will make a sincere effort to correct that. If I can't figure it out in a timely fashion, the nuclear option is for me to totally remove the offending theming and leave temporary placeholders. I'm doing this in a bid of mutual good faith - I want to make a cool game for cool people. Of course, no culture or group is a monolith, and folks can understandably disagree on what is and isn't proper representation. "Consensus" is the operative word here. I'll read the room and take all viewpoints, but when it comes to representation, the viewpoints of the group in question and/or groups with direct connection to them hold more weight than those of the general populace. This includes making sure I'm not putting oppressive groups or occupations on a pedestal - my intent is that any military/authoritative coded character will be abstracted/nuanced enough, or separated enough from reality, not to invoke specific real-world oppressive forces in a positive light.

General Development/Release Plan Right now, Thursday Thrashers is in an alpha state. My tentative goal is to get the game ready for release by some point late 2023, with a starter set and perhaps some other day-one stuff. In the meantime, this will be a semi-regular development blog. There'll be screenshots/WIP's posted when I think I've got something cool to share, and maybe the occasional deep-dive into some mechanics/lore. I may also ask for public feedback here. I cannot say for certain yet, but I might do a weekly round-up devlog on Thursdays.

Thursday Thrashers will not primarily be released in retail, at least to start. Instead, I'm going direct-to-player with the products. When you buy something for the game - a starter set, a thrasher, a mapset, et cetera - you'll be given a set of files to allow you to play it in a Virtual TableTop program (VTT), and/or physically with Print and Play components. In either context, there will be some assembly required - either loading the assets into your VTT of choice, or printing out and assembling the materials. There will be several options for each, including a simple 2D set of assets and a more involved 3D set. Though it might be discussed in the future, physical retail release is not currently part of the roadmap.

Now, there's a big reason the game is called Thursday Thrashers, outside of the set dressing. After releasing the starter set, I would like to release a new product each Thursday. This will usually take the form of a new thrasher, but will sometimes be other stuff like new mapsets, scenarios, optional variant rules, et cetera. I want to be clear - this is my current, ideal goal, and I am somewhat confident I can pull it off, but it may be walked back in the future if it turns out to be unfeasible. It might turn into an "every other Thursday" or something like that. For what it's worth, I wouldn't put out this claim of a weekly release if I didn't think I could pull it off. For example, even if it's completely ready, I won't release the starter set (and thus get the ball rolling on releasing new products) until I have about six months of products backlogged.

This is going to be an earnest attempt on my end to produce a professional, commercial product (meaning you buy it instead of it being free). I've produced commercial/semi-commercial games before, but not of this caliber. If you'll allow me to be a bit sentimental for a second - I'd like to buy myself a house with the money I make from my games, and support myself and my loved ones with it. I've been making games in earnest for about five years now, and I think Thursday Thrashers just might be the one to get me where I want to be.

What You Can Do Follow this development blog, and engage with the posts as you see fit. If you have a thought about the game, feel free to share it. Comments, questions, feedback, et cetera - all of it's welcome, whether it be through replies, asks, or what have you. If you want to help me reach more people, signal boost the blog through your preferred medium - the more eyes, the better.

If you'd like to playtest the game, please reach out to me and I can send you the invite link to the Discord. Eventually, I'll make it a more public community server, but for the time being it's primarily for playtesting.

...Alright, that's it! Thank you for reading. Happy thrashing!

#devlog #gamedev #mission statement #wargaming #tabletop games #Thursday Thrashers

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whatgoesthroughmyhead · 5 months ago

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Check out the wacky creatively-constructed aero bikes for MEGA HIGH SPEEDS (and efficiency) in this old magazine!

I can't get enough of this shit. Pages 10-15 have all the good pictures, pretty much.

This may turn into a bit of a rant, and it's not quite directly related to the above link, but the UCI (the Union Cycliste Internationale - the world governing body for sports cycling) is the big governing body that everyone looks to for pretty much anything to do with the "hour record" (i.e. the prestigious record for how much distance a cyclist can cover from a standstill in one hour, in a velodrome), but they're a bunch of dirty snobby bastards (imo) and don't like people doing things in "weird" ways. They have a history of looking down on anyone (like Graeme Obree, who is a total badass) who sets new hour records using unconventional bikes or cycling positions, so they have made rules against these. Apparently they only want people setting records by shelling out fucktons of money on cutting-edge equipment and non-doping certifications, and being really goddamn fit. Creative problem solving is essentially not welcome, according to the UCI. Well, fuck them.

Enter the IHPVA (International Human Powered Vehicle Association), which actually supports creativity and innovation and general backyard hackery (combined with physical fitness) to set records. The folks at the IHPVA want to see what human power can do when it's not constrained by arbitrary rules and limitations; they encourage outside-the-box thinking, which is arguably one of the greatest powers we humans have.

For a bit of context, the UCI's current hour record stands at 56.792 km (which is incredible; nobody you know can even come close to doing that)... The IHPVA hour record stands at 92.590 km (outdoors, on imperfect pavement). And both of these records were achieved with nothing but human power.

#ihpva #cycling #hour record #innovation #creativity #human potential #aerodynamics

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aidansghananlitblog · 10 months ago

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Week 13 blog

This week, I read pages 140-180 of the book “Transcendent kingdom” by Yaa Gyasi.

This week I think the most important sentence could be found on page 63: “she knew what it meant to be close to death, to be around it.” Without any context this is a very solemn sentence and can be taken many different ways, but to gifty this was something she could say just by knowing her mother. Her mother was a churchgoing woman but had grown familiar with sickness, illness and the sound that death makes as it lurks waiting to snatch life away. Knowing the sound and what it means to be around death, she was able to tell that Ms. Palmer wasn’t too far away. Which is sad because Gifty’s mother is the one who has to take care of her.

In these 40 pages, I was once again surprised that I have related to something else closely in the story. Although this isn’t this week’s most important sentence, it is definitely one that stood out to me because of how much I relate to it. On page 144: “Basketball season started in november, but for Nana the sport was year-round.” At everett high school currently, to this day some of the top athletes in the school easily share this year long grind. For basketball there were never many breaks. That’s how serious it was and also how loved the game was by the players to continue to come back day after day. For Nana, basketball being year round meant playing for the school team and camps, and then backyard basketball. For us, school basketball alone is year round. The same people who have grown up playing basketball in their backyards have created a system where they practice with the future team year long to prepare themselves and their chemistry for the season upcoming.

Word count : 317

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khabarabtakhindi · 1 year ago

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eazy-group · 1 year ago

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Sit By the Campfire in Comfort With These Tried-and-True Camp Chairs

New Post has been published on https://eazycamping.net/sit-by-the-campfire-in-comfort-with-these-tried-and-true-camp-chairs/

Sit By the Campfire in Comfort With These Tried-and-True Camp Chairs

When you’re camping, tailgating, or grilling in the backyard, your mission is clear: maximum relaxation. Sure, you could sit on the ground or at a hard picnic table, but with so many affordable and reliable camp chairs on the market, why would you?

Camping chairs are a fairly broad category of products, and your average outdoor retailer likely has options ranging from stool-style chairs to luxurious two-person loveseats. To help you narrow your search, we tested and evaluated all types of portable outdoor seating, from ultralight camping chairs and plush recliners to two-seaters and swings.

Best Camping Chairs

What to Consider

Durability

Durable camping chairs, which are often more costly, come with sturdy frames made of steel tubes or other metals that stand up to heavy weights, repeated folding and unfolding, and occasional moisture.

The durability of the seat materials is paramount, since a torn seat can render your chair useless. The seats should be at least partially water resistant and treated to stand up to harsh UV rays.

This can help prevent the fabric from damage and fading over long periods of use. The fabric should also be strong enough to hold significant weight—likely a rigid yet flexible woven material like the seat on our top pick, the Yeti Trailhead chair.

While more durable options are often more expensive, keep the upfront cost of the camp chair in context with its long-term durability. If the chair lasts for several years, the initial cost is well worth it in comparison to a cheaper camp chair that might tear or break after just a couple of seasons.

Think of it this way: Would you rather pay $30 every year for five years, or $110 once?

Portability

The weight, size, and general portability of a camping chair makes a major difference in how and when you can comfortably use it. Lighter, smaller options are easier to carry in your arms or on your back and work well for backpackers or anyone traveling by foot.

Heavier, larger chairs will start to weigh on you as you walk and can be far more cumbersome to store. That said, these chairs oftentimes have heavier weight limits and are more comfortable to sit in. If you are traveling by car or for short distances, you can splurge on the bigger chair.

Regardless of size, many camping chairs come with straps or carrying cases to make travel easier.

Intended Use and Additional Features

Camping chairs aren’t exclusively for camping, nor is all camping the same. If you simply want a chair to sit in for watching your kid’s soccer game or for relaxing in the backyard, you can prioritize comfort above portability.

For hikers and walk-up campers, smaller, lighter chairs are the obvious choices to keep in mind. If you’re using the chair for the beach, weather and UV resistance will help it last longer.

Many camping chairs come with added features you might want to look out for, like cupholders, storage pouches, and even zip-up cooler bags.

Camping chairs come in a variety of styles, from large and comfy models with armrests to ultralight bucket-style chairs.

Photo by Suzie Dundas

How We Selected

To find the best camp chairs, we relied heavily on feedback from our testers, who vary ages, heights, and weights, and used some of these chairs in campgrounds, on backpacking trips, and at all-day sporting events around the country. We also tried out a few in-house, setting them up in the office and in Central Park to see how they felt.

We took into account the team’s likes and dislikes about the chairs we tried, as well as online reviews from past buyers. We evaluate each chair’s materials and fabrics and the brand’s reputation and warranty, both in person and based on specs. Finally, we made sure to keep price in mind, so you can find a long-lasting and comfortable chair no matter your budget.

Best Overall

YETI Trailhead Collapsible Camp Chair

Best Overall

YETI Trailhead Collapsible Camp Chair

Credit: Yeti

Pros

Incredibly comfortable and responsive fabric

High weight limit

Cons

Expensive

Key Specs

Folded size 43 × 11.75 × 9 in. Seat height 16.75 in. Weight 13.3 lb. Weight limit 500 lb.

Yeti’s Trailhead camping chair immediately stands out for how comfortable it is to sit in—and how expensive it is. Yeti uses a flexible fabric that is spread tight against the frame and accommodates your body as you sit down. That fabric is intensely durable, with a weight limit of 500 pounds—the highest of any folding chair we tested.

Beyond the comfort of the seat, the most impressive part of the Trailhead is the sturdiness of the frame. While its strength is certainly a winning feature, the locking mechanisms that keep the chair open and in perfect shape take the cake. This lock—which takes a bit of elbow grease to put into place—allows you to shift around and even set it up on uneven ground without risk of it folding back in while you’re lounging.

Tom Price

While the heaviness of this camp chair might prevent me from using it on a long journey, the carrying case with backpack straps makes it easier to take with me while keeping my arms free and shoulders comfortable. While the price means not everyone can have this camp chair, if you can swing it, it really is better than the rest.

Best Value

REI Co-op Wonderland Chair

Best Value

REI Co-op Wonderland Chair

Pros

Cup holder swivels in and out

Water repellant polyester material

Cons

Too heavy for backpacking

Key Specs

Folded size 42 x 11 x 11 in. Seat height 16 in. Weight 7 lbs. 13 oz. Weight limit 300 lb.

For a classic fold-up camping chair, the REI Co-op Wonderland stands as a great mixture of comfortable and durable. In regards to comfort, I noticed almost immediately the slight wider seat that gave me enough room to actually adjust my body around to find the right spot. The wooden arm rests also happen to feel significantly better than most made of fabric or plastic.

Tom Price

The Wonderland camping chair has a polyester fabric seat treated to be water repellent, and the steel tubing feels noticeably sturdy. While the chair is too heavy to take with you on a hike, the carry strap and lock-in clip make it easy to sling over your shoulder to and from different locations.

Best Rocker

GCI Outdoor Kickback Rocker

Best Rocker

GCI Outdoor Kickback Rocker

Pros

Easy carrying strap

Built-in rocking legs

Cons

Heavy for its size

Key Specs

Folded size 7.9 x 5.9 x 39 in. Seat height 17 in. Weight 10 lb., 8 oz. Weight limit 250 lb.

GCI has staked its claim as the king of camp comfort with its Rocker line of chairs, and the Kickback is our current favorite. Pistons on the back legs help with the rocking motion, and we found the resistance stiff enough that we wouldn’t accidentally tip the chair over backward—but not so aggressive that it felt like the Kickback was pitching us forward.

Both our 6-foot-2 and 5-foot-5 testers liked the seat height and had no problems sitting down and standing up from the chair. We also like that it has the usual cup holder and phone pocket on the armrests.

Despite that it’s a little unwieldy when carried over the shoulder, the strap didn’t dig in, though we’d still recommend using it for light activities such as car camping, backyard hangs, and picnics. Some padding in the seat and backrest would be nice, but the fabric has some slack that makes it comfortable to sit in.

Full Review

Best Budget Pick

Coleman Chair with built-in cooler

Best Budget Pick

Coleman Chair with built-in cooler

Pros

Built-in cooler

Extra storage pocket

Cons

Hard to get back into stuff sack

Key Specs

Folded size ‎8.1 x 37.6 x 9.1 in. Seat height 17.5 in. Weight 8.8 lb. Weight limit 325 lb.

The fewer things you have to lug to your campsite, the better. Thanks to this affordable camp chair’s built-in insulated cooler, you can leave the kombuchas in the heavy cooler in the shade while you stash a few cans (with ice, of course) in your chair.

Cooler aside, we also like the Coleman chair’s side pocket (don’t leave those bottle tops in the woods) and cushioned backrest. The fact that the chair holds an impressive 325 pounds makes it ideal for big and tall buyers. It’s certainly not the lightest camping chair on this list, but we were still surprised with the relatively reasonable 8.5 pounds, especially considering the table attachment.

Best Chair for Lounging

Kelty Deluxe Lounge Chair

Best Chair for Lounging

Kelty Deluxe Lounge Chair

Pros

Comfortable no matter your posture

Large cupholders

Cons

Rolls rather than folds

Key Specs

Folded size 39.5 x 9 x 9 in. Seat height 19 in. Weight 10 lb., 4 oz. Weight Limit 325 lb.

Another favorite among our testers, the Deluxe has a wide and broad sitting area that doesn’t pinch or press into your hamstrings, shoulders, or hips. The steel supports are also large and the feet are widely spaced, giving the entire chair a stable, confident feel.

The steel frame allowed our testers to use the reclining back confidently and lounge in the chair at just about any angle. The adjustable cup holders accommodate anything from a soda can to a beer growler (yes, you can have up to 64 ounces of beer in your cup holder).

It’s so comfortable that one tester remarked, “My wife, who is six months pregnant, was happy to spend half a day at a bike race as long as she got to use the chair.” That La-Z-Boy level of comfort makes this an excellent option for car camping and RV use.

Best Lightweight

Helinox Chair Zero Large

Best Lightweight

Helinox Chair Zero Large

Pros

Lightweight build

Packs into a very small space

Cons

Lacks back or neck support

Key Specs

Folded dimensions 14 x 4.5 x 4 in. Seat height 8.5 in. Weight 1lb, 6 oz. Weight limit 320 lb.

The Helinox Chair Zero L isn’t inexpensive, but that’s probably because it’s made with high-quality, ultralight materials. The camping chair weighs just over one pound, but the aluminum frame can hold up to 265 pounds.

It also packs down small enough to strap to the side or top of your hiking backpack for overnight adventures, and the shock cord woven through the poles ensures a quick and easy assembly if you arrive at camp in the dark. Both our shorter testers found it comfortable, though our 6-foot-1 tester with longer legs reported that his knees felt a little too close to his chest when sitting.

For most people, the biggest downside is likely the low back height. Still, it’s a reasonable trade-off if you’re working toward shedding weight from your backpacking setup but aren’t keen to sit on the ground all night.

Best Swinging

Rio Gear Rio Swinging Hammock Lounger

Best Swinging

Rio Gear Rio Swinging Hammock Lounger

Pros

Swinging functionality

Tall back with headrest

Cons

Seat height may have some legs off the ground

Key Specs

Folded dimensions 36 x 8 x 8 in. Seat height 19 in. Weight 11 lb. Weight limit 300 lb.

Swinging chairs aren’t just for chilling on your front porch. They’re ideal for buyers who experience back or butt pain when sitting in one spot for too long. Because the chair swings, it’s easy to adjust your seating position or rest your feet on a nearby cooler or bench. It also allows the chair to automatically balance your weight if you tuck a leg under your body or lean a bit forward, which can cause stationary chairs to tip.

Usually, swinging chairs have more pieces and parts than a standard chair, but the Rio foldable hammock chair manages to stay minimal in both weight and size. While it’s too heavy for backpacking, it’s a reasonable size and weight for slinging over your shoulder to walk from the parking lot to the sidelines or throwing in a wagon for beach days.

The flatpack style of chair doesn’t lend itself well to extreme portability. That being said, if you’re mostly car camping out of your truck or driving to a friend’s BBQ, you’ll love the extra size and support these chairs offer. We especially like the Infinity zero gravity chair, which reclines nearly flat if you’d rather stare at the clouds than at your fellow campers. Fortunately, you can lock it into position to ensure against unexpected tipping, and the head- and footrests extend far enough in both directions to support taller users.

Our testers didn’t have any ongoing gripes with this chair, though one complained of feeling a crossbar under the seat. The chair distributes weight quite well, and we never felt off-balance while reclining. However, we did find it quite awkward to get out of the chair while reclined, so be sure to put it back into the upright position before getting up.

If you’re one of those people on the fence about buying a generic folding chair, don’t be. The Marchway high-back chair has stellar reviews and weighs in at 3.5 pounds, making it usable (though not ideal) for easy backpacking.

The tall back provides enough support for our 6-foot-plus tester, and the carrying case can double as a head or low-back pillow with some clothing stuffed in (though it doesn’t attach to the chair).

The Marchway High-Back Camping Chair is very similar to the far pricier (but also well-loved) Helinox Sunset chair, though this one comes with the bonus of rounded arm flaps. While they don’t provide support, they do add a bit of padding, so your arms aren’t digging into the sides of the fabric.

Do a quick online search for director chair-style camp chairs and you’ll see that most options look relatively similar. They also have the same downside, which is a general lack of portability. They fold just like a movie director’s chair—hence the name—but usually don’t pack down vertically.

That’s why we’re keen on the SunnyFeel camp chair, which packs into the size of a (slightly heavy) tote bag and comes with a storage sack. Unlike other similar camp chairs, you can sling the SunnyFeel over your shoulder rather than awkwardly carrying it just above the ground. But like similar products, it has features like a pop-up table, cup holder, padded backrest, and a large side panel with multiple pockets.

Best Wooden Chair

Trippy Outdoor Dreamer Chair

Best Wooden Chair

Trippy Outdoor Dreamer Chair

Pros

Easy two-piece design

Easy to carry and store flat

Cons

Not very comfortable

Key Specs

Folded size 45 x 11 x 4 in Seat height 11 in. Weight 10 lb. Weight limit 1000 lb.

Certainly an unorthodox approach to camping chairs, the Trippy Outdoors Dreamer is the option for those who need flat storage (or to feel a little bit like a hipster). Despite the weight, I could easily hold it in one hand as I walked, though it may be more difficult for longer journeys.

Tom Price

That said, the actual assembly and subsequent storage process for the camping chair is incredibly easy. Sliding the wooden plank it makes an instant seat and storing the seat plank on the back makes for a flat chair you can put in the trunk of a compact car.

The chair itself isn’t the most comfortable option—the seat height feels a little low and the back plank and seat lack any cushioning. The two-piece construction also makes the chair feel a bit wobbly when leaning from side to side. The chair looks to shine the most at the beach, where you can dig the wood into the sand, and the aesthetic is a perfect match.

More Camping Chair Tips From Our Travel Expert Suzie Dundas

Dundas likes the SunnyFeel Camping Directors Chair for its combination of portability—it comes with a tote bag—and features, like a side table and padded backrest.

Photo by Suzie Dundas

PM: How heavy is too heavy for a backpacking chair?

S.D.: If you’re planning on backpacking—hiking to your campsite while carrying all your supplies in a pack—you’ll want to keep your camping chair as lightweight as possible. Serious backpackers covering long distances or significant elevation gains won’t want to add more than two pounds or so to their packs. But if you’re only hiking a few miles across mostly flat terrain (or just using a walk-in campsite at a park), you can probably add a camping chair in the 3- to 4-pound range, especially if your other gear is light or you’re splitting supplies between packs.

PM: Is it okay to buy a budget camping chair?

S.D.: It’s absolutely fine to buy an inexpensive chair! In general, the differences between pricier chairs and less expensive chairs come down to production methods and locations, materials (sustainable vs. new plastics, for example), and brand names and warranties. If you plan on using your camping chair primarily for backyard grilling or occasional camping, don’t worry about the brand too much. But if you’re a frequent car camper or need a chair you can carry back and forth to soccer games all year, it may be worth spending a bit more for higher-end materials. And, of course, if you care about sustainable materials and production methods, it may be worth spending a little more to show your support for more eco-friendly products.

PM: What features are most important in a camping chair?

S.D.: That comes down to personal preference, but I like having a cup holder as well as some type of structure, rather than a bucket-style seat. I find that one-piece seat panels, like the one in the Helinox Chair Zero, are far less comfortable (the trade-off, of course, is that they’re far more portable). I also don’t bother with footrests, as there’s usually a cooler or backpack nearby I can prop my feet on. Padding on a chair is nice but can be replicated by sitting on a puffy jacket or small blanket if needed.

Associate Commerce Editor

Tom Price is an Associate Editor of Commerce for Popular Mechanics, and also contributes to Runner’s World, and Bicycling. He has previously covered product reviews, startup news, and even professional wrestling. In his free time, he enjoys watching pretentious TV, low-brow movies, and exercising for beauty, not health. If you are interested in exploring more of his work, check out his website.

Originally from the East Coast, Suzie Dundas is a Lake Tahoe-based freelance writer and editor who now splits her time between enjoying the outdoors and writing about them—she’s the senior outdoor editor at Matador Network and a regular adventure and travel contributor at TripSavvy.com. She has written feature stories for publications like Outside Magazine, SkyLife Magazine, Playboy, Frommers, INSIDER, and more, and contributes couples travel and honeymoon content for TheKnot.com. Suzie co-authored Lonely Planet Sustainable Travel Guide and is the author of 2021’s “Hiking Lake Tahoe.” She has undergraduate degrees from the University of Maryland and an M.A. in media and political communication from George Washington University. Follow her on Instagram at @HikeUpYourSkirt or find more of her work at suziedundas.com.

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hi-im-greenjunipertree · 2 years ago

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"What? Was it something I said?"

#backyard sports #backyard football #backyard baseball #backyard football (gamecube)#backyard football out of context #backyard sports out of context #backyard sports screenshots #jocinda smith #lisa crocket #angela delvecchio #dante robinson

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xtruss · 2 years ago

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In the Netherlands, Alex ten Napel makes miniature runways in barns and backyards to capture the essence of chickens such as this Polish rooster. “I consider them walking pieces of art,” he says.

See These Chickens Go From Coop To Catwalk

Fancy, feathered, and fascinating, these birds surprised portrait photographer Alex ten Napel with their beauty and charisma.

— By Jason Bittel | Photographs By Alex Napel | January 6, 2023

A chicken “is not just an animal that gives us eggs,” says Alex ten Napel, who’s been roaming his home country of the Netherlands in search of farm fowl since 2014. Taking inspiration from Melchior d’Hondecoeter, a 17th-century Dutch artist known for his work with birds, ten Napel uses lighting, backdrops, and an elevated, catwalk-like stage to bring chickens out of the coop and into an entirely new context.

Top: A Twentse rooster takes his turn on the runway. While breeders prioritize conformation, ten Napel prizes character. Bottom: The Brabanter breed has been associated with the Netherlands since Dutch artist Melchior d’Hondecoeter depicted some of the birds in 1676.

“What I hope you see in the photos is that chickens can be proud beings or funny beings,” he says. “They can be like gymnasts or ballerinas. Not what most people think of when you talk about chickens.”

Left: It may seem as if this Polish hen is missing a face, but she’s simply shying away from the camera. Right: Like a singer belting out a show tune, this Dutch bantam rooster uses his time in the spotlight to crow.

Compared with people, chickens like the Polish hen above are quite patient models, ten Napel says.

Left: Polish roosters and other showy chickens are bred for competition, not consumption. Right: Scientists think humans first domesticated chickens between 7,000 and 10,000 years ago. Pictured here, a Polish hen.

While each animal has different characteristics, ten Napel has noticed the emergence of some patterns throughout his travels. Roosters, or male chickens, tend to be large, visually striking, and imposing, he says. But it’s the females ten Napel finds himself drawn toward. “I have a heart for the hens. They’re so vulnerable,” he says. “They move me in a way that I want to protect them.”

Left: Appearing to sport a ceremonial headdress, a Polish rooster stands tall for his portrait. Right: Show chickens, such as this Polish hen, are bred for their external attributes, including color patterns and feather shapes.

Left: Ten Napel first came face-to-face with a chicken while he was camping in the Pyrenees Mountains about 10 years ago. He felt an immediate connection to the species, which then became his main photographic muse. Pictured here, a Polish chicken. Right: The European Association of Poultry, Pigeon, Cage Bird, Rabbit, and Cavy Breeders recognizes more than a hundred breeds of chickens, from the Polish (shown here) to the Brabanter and the Dutch bantam.

A specialist in portrait photography, ten Napel focused on people—usually children and older adults—for 25 years. The chickens, he says, have reignited his passion for this type of photography. “I can’t direct them. I have to be patient and feel how they will show themselves,” he adds. “Everything they give you is a gift.”

On his bird-friendly runway, ten Napel coaxes a model to strut its stuff for the camera.

Though ten Napel has occasionally tried to train his lens on other subjects since falling for fowl, nothing else seems to capture his interest so completely. “This year I went back to the breeders,” he says, “and I’m shooting the next series until, well, I can’t photograph anymore.”

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seven-oomen · 2 years ago

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Joel Miller - Not a good man, but a good father

I want to take a deep dive into one of my favorite video game characters of all time and walk through his motivations, flaws, his strengths, and ultimately his fatal flaws.

I recognize that this is probably not gonna be up to everyone's tastes, and that's okay. To those people I ask, move on, please don't bother me over a fictional character, you will be blocked.

For the people who are genuinely interested in a civilised discussion, I don't mind if you do, but depending on its context I might not engage because Joel's demise is also very triggering to me, and I promised my trauma therapist I would limit my engagement on this subject.

With that said, I wanna dig down deep into Joel.

Joel Miller is a complicated and highly stressed individual right from the start of the game. He's a hard working single father who does everything in his power to provide the best life he can for his daughter. In that pursuit he steps over his own boundaries so much that he suffers from high blood pressure, anxiety, and ulcers, and is quite literally, working himself into the ground.

It is universally accepted that he works as a carpenter pre apocalypse, and several books and magazines in his bedroom also suggest he is trying to start his own business.

He is a dedicated father to his only daughter Sarah, who he often takes on hikes and to museums and who he spends a lot of time with, despite his working schedule.

He enjoys local farmers markets, restaurants, barbecues, hunting, and fancy classic sports cars, as evidenced by paintings, flyers, a barbecue outside in his backyard, as well as a red sports car underneath some tarp, and he also enjoys coffee very much (but doesn't seem to clean his counters well), and has a Best dad rainbow mug that he presumably gets from Sarah.

Family also means a lot to him judging by the variety of family photos throughout his house.

And then tragedy strikes in the night from September 26 2013, to September 27 2013 and the apocalypse breaks out in his hometown and around the world.

The event kills 60% of the worldwide population presumably within the first year of the apocalypse.

As a result of the outbreak and the military's response to it, his daughter Sarah dies in Joel's arms. And just like that, Joel not only loses his greatest motivation to survive and gains trauma that stays with him for the rest of his life.

Judging from dialogue that he can have with Ellie, Joel becomes suicidal after Sarah dies and struggles with depression and ptsd, so much so that he still has nightmares 20 years after the fact.

During those 20 years, Joel's greatest motivation in life ironically becomes survival for both him and his brother.

My personal headcanon is that he failed to take his own life because he believes that someone needs to remember and honor Sarah and that becomes his sole motivation to keep himself and Tommy alive.

Joel's methods of survival are not very moral. He's ruthless and cunning, hunting down other survivors, perhaps even in an attempt to supress his own pain and suffering by inflicting it onto others. We know from several scenes that Joel was particularly cruel and vindictive and rather good at torturing and killing people.

Needles to say, he was not a good man during those 20 years. Some might even say he became a monster during the apocalypse. And they would be right. He absolutely was for a large portion of his life.

But even monsters can have humanity. And Joels humanity comes from caring about those he sees as family. Tommy, Sarah, Tess, Ellie, Maria, other residents in Jackson, all bring out the much calmer and caring side of Joel. We see this in several scenes in both part 1 and part 2.

Joel was a very complicated individual, a man who's trauma and experiences, further driven by an apocalypse that wiped the majority of humanity of the map, made him hardened and closed off and for a long time he let anger and fear rule him and his survival instinct. That is, until he met Ellie.

Because Ellie started cracking that exterior and brought out the 'dad' side of Joel. The compasionate and kind side that he displays at the end of part 1 and the start of part 2. The same compassion and kindness that eventually gets him killed.

Ironically, it's the mesh of that ruthlessness and that compassion that become his fatal flaws and create circumstances that lead to his death.

Make no mistake, Joel himself is the reason why he eventually meets his untimely death. He created those circumstances himself. First by using his ruthlessness and brutality to save Ellie and kill the surgeon that would have sacrificed her. And later, though his compassion and trust by helping the daughter of said surgeon survive a horde of infected.

But to say Joel was nothing more than a monster is a disservice to his character. Because we do see just how much Joel is capable of compassion, how thoughtful he is, and how protective he is of the people he cares about. We see this in his interactions with Ellie. We see it in the items he makes for the residents of Jackson. We see it in the way the people of Jackson interact with Joel.

We know Joel doesn't judge people for who they love, we know he doesn't care what the color of your skin is, and that he doesn't care what you've done in the past as long as you're willing to work with him towards a future.

Above all he is someone who has a need to protect the people around him. To learn of their interests and go out of his way to participate in them as best as he can.

But he also listens to them, respects their wishes once they've been spoken out to him (he may need a minute at times), and keeps his distance as much as he is capable once someone he loves tells him to back off.

However you see this character, one cannot deny that he is duality itself. A man who's not morally good by any means, and yet he was a great dad to two young women who needed him.

The duality in Joel is that his greatest flaws are also his greatest strengths and ultimately become his undoing.

#ben says stuff #joel miller #tlou #the last of us #tlou joel #joel tlou #tlou meta

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sugar-petals · 3 years ago

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can you give us more thoughts about domestic yoongles? the taemin's one (wich I love) just made me miss the cat boy so much ;o;

i have a phd in househusband yoongi so let me fire out some ideas for ya.

myg at home headcanon

🐱 word count. 1.9k | fluff, slice of life, slight nsfw mentions, x reader, bullet points

The doorbell sound is a recording of Yoongi imitating a doorbell. He’s such a meme. Ceci n'est pas une pipe.

Seemingly, he teaches himself a new recipe every week. To perfection. Yoongi is very particular about sticking to the recipe and wielding his kitchen tools in the right way. He collects knives, olive oil, and still hates cutting onions.

He separates sleep time, work time, and couple time as the holy trinity. For each, he switches his mood.

Blushes easily no matter for how long you’ve been together.

Establishes his own radio show where he DJs at one point.

Yoongi keeps an extreme track on the garbage schedule. He knows exactly what is due when. Separating the trash is a must. That includes sorting out fake friends trying to get between your relationship. Your social circle as a couple is extremely deliberate.

Yoongi deems himself a terrible host for guests. Unless Hoseok is there to drag him out, it's true he rather stays in the kitchen or at the barbecue preparing the menu courses rather than making small talk. He leaves the hospitality bits to you, however you want to go about it.

What he lacks in conversing with guests, he makes up in bed, God is absolutely fair.

He sings and hums pretty often and has his own vernacular of extraterrestrial uwu noises. It's an alphabet that you have to yet decipher but it's incredibly cute.

Self-made paintings everywhere around his house.

Yoongi hasn't gone clubbing since grammar school. The most he does is going to a restaurant at lunch with very close friends. And always in a work context. His private life is so secluded from everything else and paparazzi just don't spot him anywhere, Dispatch thinks he must live abroad.

Very well, he does consider his big ole house a separate country. It's a living organism with a studio, gym, trophy room, small-size basketball court, and vastly equipped kitchen. A home theater as well, he likes American movies (like Inception) and Korean action genres, and you can stream whatever you fancy in there whenever you like.

Yes, he has underwear with cute little bears on.

There's even a little pond in the backyard. Yoongi, Pisces he is, likes fishes after all. Sometimes he sits at the edge of the 'Little Ole Min Lake (LOML)' and stares into the water for literal hours with his chin parked on his palm.

His fridge is so high-tech and futuristic, even Yoongi is rendered clueless by its AI sometimes. The washing machine, too.

Yoongi watches RuPaul’s drag race. What did you expect? He finds it so humorous.

Owns lord knows how many comic collections.

Favorite holiday destination: New York.

Christmas is basically 50% you unveiling new music equipment to him in the garage and Yoongi almost fainting at the sexiness of it. The other 50% is spent holding hands and orgasm after orgasm until the new year since you loose track of time.

Goes on long rants why he’d marry you again every weekend.

Making you presents is his specialty. Always accompanied with a hand-written note. He writes a lot of things by hand for you in general. Texting, basically never. Always on paper.

No sex without a blanket and socks on. Yoongi gets cold very very easily and just doesn’t like showing skin. You buy him a heated blanket for his birthday, he even uses it in his studio chair.

Chronically addicted to making out.

Matching black outfits and glasses.

Laughs at even your worst jokes or phrases you didn’t expect you even uttered.

Yoongi owns the phoniest, most secretive-looking black car ever and nobody knows about it. Even he forgets he owns it, in fact he genuinely acts like it just doesn’t exist. Hilarious. And that guy has a level 1 Korean driver's license. Which allows him to drive trailers and busses and fucking trucks, and construction machines, let that sink in.

It's really a genius curse. Yoongi being put to the test will always deliver but he won't choose to execute his full skillset if he doesn't have to. Well, pragmatic. He's not as phony as he thinks he is, which is even more hilarious.

He uses that behemoth of a car so scarcely because he'd rather have things delivered to his doorstep and he's stingy with gas. Also, he doesn't like traffic and driving because of the traumatic shoulder accident and his tendency to space out. Translation: You drive that thing... that monster... it really is an impressive, fast, and scary machine.

If someone devious ever even remotely manages to invade his privacy and get past the doubly-installed security system, he has enough money to deal with it no matter what.

If it concerns your privacy, he's a red belt. And owns Jin's number if a taekwondo master is required. Jimin's if it needs someone with kendo skills.

If Yoongi needs someone to go on a complete rampage, Jungkook lives just down the block. He can sprint to Yoongi's bunker I mean mansion within 45 seconds. 30 if it's very urgent. 20 if the reward is an instant ramen splurge with Yoongi's black card.

He has a sexy, glamorous sword collection hanging on the living room wall anyways, so. Who the hell is dumb enough to mess with him and his expensive lawyer in the first place.

But just in case, who knows... Yoongi settles matters shruggingly, anonymously, and with cash and he's too exhausted for violence, but don't underestimate his deter-min-ation and network for emergencies. Also, he is Agust D after all.

He will bonk a naughty burglar or kidnapper across the head with a wooden cooking spoon or take him down by throwing a basketball if the situation requires it. Damn, his reflexes are so fast, a feral cat in motion. So, lean back and sip on your drink of choice. Things are cared for.

If Yoongi is the one being kidnapped or a highly skilled stalker invades the property at night when he's fast asleep (nothing can wake this man during certain hours, strong REM right here): Don't forget that honeyboy is a Dodgers fan. There are signed baseball bats everywhere in this damn house.

In that sense, your parents visiting you here for the first time thought you were an undercover thug couple. Not to worry mom and dad, you both just like sports very much okay.

Yoongi walks around in all black clothes and the rooms are all seemingly dark. Even if you live together, you don't know his skin care routine. It's clear to you he's some sort of vampire.

Since Yoongi always forgets to remove his makeup, you made it a habit to wipe it down when he's about to pass out. He won't lie, he enjoys that kind of affection.

Holly is your resident child. You're essentially a family.

He insists to tackle this by himself, Yoongi sees his therapist monthly. Not shifting responsibility is something he's stubborn about and he pours his emotions into writing. You will do conversation about deeper stuff, but he says it's mostly up to him and his own mind. He dislikes burdening you or opening up too much and it's something to respect rather than force him about. If he wants to share a thought, he will. It doesn’t mean he can’t trust you or sucks at communicating (we know that he’s direct). Yoongi simply can’t put that much pain in such few words nor should you alleviate it for him.

Calls from the manager faze Yoongi as much as Jimin is bothered by gravity. If he’s busy kissing your body slow mo, who the hell dares to disturb his worship.

This man had so many let-downs and interpersonal catastrophes in his life, he's super discerning with people. Because he rolls that way, during their first meeting Yoongi uses his psychology certificate on your friends. You see him squint at them, he listens very closely. After they pass the vibe check aka meow radar, he befriends them, too.

Yoongi doodles Grammy trophies everywhere to manifest them.

Yoongi shaves his legs.

All the sex toys he’s ever bought are black. Gotta vibe in style.

He spends ridiculous amounts of time in the studio but he's yours for the remainder of the night, breakfast, and he makes a lavish lunch and dinner.

Um, consider his head parked between your legs. The Hongkong line was not a joke.

Doesn’t mind you squishing his cheeks whenever and for how long you like.

Every other weekend he gets flowers, vouchers, and gifts — not because of fans, they don’t know where his house is, but because he donates so much.

Namjoon often drops by and cleanses the area with his crystals.

Yoongi is a photography major so you can ask him to take professional, ceiling-high black and white shots of you.

Feeding each other food lovingly. Man, this guy got lips.

He set up a library just for you, in the exact historical aesthetic you like the most. Send him the link to any book you want, it's basically in the online shopping cart already. As I said, he wants to make you presents like every week.

Sometimes he sits on the other end studying English videos and vocab while you read. And yes, he's already 95% fluent but pretends being merely intermediate. He knows technical terms even native speakers have never heard of.

He collects pajamas and earrings.

Swears on the phone.

Namjoon being the horniest member is a cover-up story. Yoongi masturbates almost unreasonable amounts of times, by himself and in your arms when going to bed. Not gonna lie, it’s a sight to see his hands at work. He’s almost equally obsessed with fingering you once you ask him.

Yoongi was the one asking you to move in and almost had a nervous meltdown before meeting up with you to tell you just that.

He’s the little spoon and of course a sleeping burrito to hold tight.

Finds you equally attractive in any state or styling. Yoongi practices what he preaches, he always reacts the same and says the same.

Jams out to outrageous beats Namjoon sends him by dancing in the studio. You walk in on him every time. Was embarrassed at first, now you dance along.

Has bought you a life-sized Yoongi pillow and customized you a giant Shooky to hug when he’s not at home over night.

Owned a wine cellar until he quit drinking. Turned it into a piano room instead.

Only you know Yoongi has a serpent and dagger tattoo.

Scrubs the bathroom religiously.

The house smells like restaurant food and his extravagant perfumes half of the time.

Sometimes he has to remind himself he’s married to you and not his coffee machine. He shall be forgiven. You can’t complain that he doesn’t love you enough, nor is he ever not adorable when drinking his latte.

Never wears short sleeves. It can be scorching and he’ll wear a jacket.

Tell him and the cap stays on during sex.

He grows his hair out and puts it in a low bun. The bangs remain.

Yoongi has installed the most fire-proof building in the entire city it seems. That he wanted to be a firefighter when he was young definitely shows. Figures the house has to be protected from heat: His blasting studio music and Yoongi himself are just way too sizzling.

Still melts into a puddle when you kiss his nose.

Couple sunrise watching.

#yoongi #yoongi hc #yoongi x reader #bts #bts x reader #bts hc #yoongi scenario

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sweetsbfreex · 4 years ago

Text

a styles snow day

Summary: In Boston, with your family. You and H have a snow day with your daughter. After a hectic morning that is

Warnings: none!

Pairing: Dad, Husband!Harry x reader

The shuffling of soft feet against the sheets had shaken you awake, causing you to open your eyes. You ignore it, but before sleep could take you away again. A sharp strike, from a very soft foot, landed between your shoulders

You open your eyes wide, emitting a raspy whine into the morning air. Reaching your hand back to stop the tiny foot from landing another strike. In result you hear cute giggles causing you to turn, her foot still in your clutch, to see your eighteen month old.

You closed eyes for a second, letting out a low sigh before you scooped her up. Both of you laying on your sides, facing each other, one of her legs laid against your hip.

You reached your hand out to fix the catastrophe that was her hair.

“Not nice Ava...Why is it always me hm...Why don’t you ever wake dad like this?” you ask.

She stared at you, smiling. Only elevator music playing in her morning mind right now. Her small body encased with one of Harry’s very old shirts at her knees. One that his mother had saved for when he had his first child.

“Go wake up dad” you whispered in her ear, your hand cupping the back of her tiny ear.

She looked up at you, her face now amused at your special request. Without any questions, she shuffled her bum to her dad. Who was on his side, his back away from the two of you. Draping her upper body over his torso, her teeny legs pointed out to stabilize herself. Taking an arn that wasn't holding herself up. She reached her chubby fingers to her father’s eye, pulling his eye lid up.

Giggling to herself when Harry’s eye began to move around, then upward at her face which was upside down to him. Then she laughed a bit more when both his eyes startled open in shock.

“Daddy!” she squealed.

Harry groaned, a light pout on his face before he pulled Ava’s finger from his eye. “Hi baby” he smiled, pulling his girl over so she became cocooned in his arms against his chest.

“Mum set you up to this right?” he asked, turning his head around to see a “sleeping” y/n.

“For someone who’s supposed to love me...you are such a menace”. He told his other girl. Watching as she laughed, blowing the cover she thought she had. “Caught ya’” he mumbled, turning back to his baby’s giggles.

You got up, reaching your body over your end of the bed to place a kiss on his shoulder. Making your way over to the three window walls beside your bed. When you rolled up the first blind. A small comical gasp got your attention, looking behind you to see her shocked gaze on the snow.

“Snow!” She gleamed, removing herself from Harry and sprinting to the window. Her nose and palms all up in the glass. Watching the thick layer of snow that buried your spacious backyard.

All three of you had landed in your home in Boston, coming back from visiting your parents, late last night. And with the moving around she had to do a long with the flight. she didn’t get a chance to see the snowfall in the middle of the night.

“I know” you told her, matching her energy. “You wanna play in it later?” You asked, bringing your hand down to pull her away from the glass.

She jumped up and down nodding her head in reply.

“Let’s eat first then we can later”

––––––

Now you were all in the kitchen/dining (since they shared the same space). After Harry took out Milo, the family’s Australian shepherd, from his cage to the front yard. Now he was chasing? Or Ava was chasing him?. The loud dog pants, the sound of feet/paws against the wood, Ava’s giggles, the music Harry decided to play, and your whines, were all mixed. Because Harry would. not. Let you go.

“Do you want to starve? I need to make breakfast” you lean your head back on his shoulder. Being currently enveloped by both his arms, closing you between his chest and the counter.

“You’re popping a couple of eggos in the toaster, chill out” he snickered.

You smiled at his teasing, kissing his cheek before turning your way back to the eggs you were mixing first. He stayed behind you placing kiss after kiss to your shoulder, then your neck, then to the cut of your jaw.

You giggled, reeling him in a bit as you brandished your butt against him. Eyes averting to Harry's fingers which were clenching the counter a bit.

And ever so quickly you tilted your head, so your mouth was to his ear whispering...

“Go fill Milo’s bowl” you tell him, turning your head to kiss one of his shoulders. Before they deflated and Harry sported a dejected look on his face.

“I’ll remember this the next time the roles reverse hm?” he tells you, pinching your butt and then strolling away to the pantry.

And it was peaceful for a little until frill cries interrupted it; and Harry’s voice cooing Ava was what you heard.

“What’s wrong?” you ask him, leaving the eggs and turning off the warming pan.

“Sad because Milo’s not playing anymore” he chuckles, rubbing his hand.

“You ready for your pancakes?” You ask her.

At that the instant crocodile tears ended, as expected, while she nodded her head yes. You and Harry shared a laugh before he brought to the table, sitting in her booster seat. While you popped some eggos in the toaster.

“Har! Are you eating pancakes too?” You yell out to him.

“No thank you, ‘m gonna eat the eggs” he replied to you, leaving Ava with her coloring sheet.

–––––

You were all roughly done. Milo finished his breakfast a while ago, now he laid next to Ava’s chair looking with hope at everyone eating.

And when her parents were no longer paying attention to her, instead to each other. Ava used her nimble fingers to break a piece of her bacon. Bringing it to her mouth before “accidentally” dropping it on the floor. Smiling down at her best friend who ate it with pleasure.

‘Poor mimi’ she thought

Taking a bit of her pancakes between her fingers, she tried it one more time. Instead a different method; as she hid the piece of her syrup-less pancake in her closed fist. Yawning slyly, bringing her arms above her hands after she looked down at the puppy eyes Milo gave her. And bringing them to lay against her side; dropping the pancake onto the mixed fur beneath her.

“Ey!” Harry voiced, catching her in the act.

You turned around confused, watching as she jumped in her seat, looking up at her father in a stunned manner.

“What were you doing Ava?” You asked.

She looked at both her parents, pushing her bottom lip out.

“Milo is hungry!” She defended

“Are we supposed to be feeding Milo anything that isn’t dog food?” He tests her.

“No” she murmurs. Eyebrows wrinkled together and lips pouted causing her cheeks to fill out more than usual. Her small face was in perfect view to get a glance of her expression. Then in a haste she tucked her chin into her body, so all you both saw was the top of her bed head.

The couple wasn’t against giving Milo “human food”, he’d get some from time to time, not too much. But with a child it was a bit different. Ava didn’t know what a dog could and couldn’t eat, so the two of them had to be stricter when it came to her giving Milo food. They’d also been training Milo to not accept food Ava get him, but the two of them were like peas in a pod.

You and Harry looked at each other. You raised your eyebrows to him, wondering how the pair of you should go about this. He shrugs backs at you, a smile etched on his face as he eyes his child again.

She sat still in her chair, keeping the heartbroken visage on her face. Ava decided to add a dash of spice into her act by crossing her arms over her chest . Without context you would think you told her she would never be able to watch Disney movies ever again!

You decided to take the reigns.

“Babe do you want Milo to have to go to the doctor?” You asked her.

“No.” She responded short.

“Talk appropriately, Ava” Harry told her.

“No, mommy” she repeated herself, looking up this time, her arms uncrossed and instead sat in her lap.

“If you keep giving her human food he’ll get sick, then he’ll have to go to the doctor...then you could be arrested” you pout at her pinching her cheeks.

“Y/N!” Harry hissed, his foot breezing past your shin.

“What? It worked on me”

“Okay Okay, you won’t go to jail, mommy’s fibbing. I’m

Sorry”

“You’re fibbing?” She murmurs, using her palm to clear her bangs from her forehead. Looking at Harry for confirmation as you both nod.

“But you can’t feed Milo human food, it’s not good for him” you remind her.

“Okay. I won’t feed Milo anymore. Promise!” she answers in a hushed tone, reaching her hands up so you could pull her into your lap.

You did so kissing the top of her head

“Mumma?” Tilting her head back.

“Yea?”

“You eat the pancakes, I don’t want them,” she remarked, tossing her head side-to-side and patting her plump stomach. Sticking her tongue out in an icky manner, meaning she was full.

You and Harry shared a quick laugh at her chaotic antics.

“Ready to go out and play?” Which resulted in a large hoot led by Harry.

–––––––

Everyone showered by two, the sun brighter than when you woke up, and the snow falling down softer, in a flurry.

Before you all left the London home, you had ordered the three of you matching garments and gloves for the pictures you knew you and Harry would take.

Currently, you and Harry were clad in thick turquoise jackets. Only struggling with the task of getting Ava dressed up.

She was like a wiggling worm, wouldn’t stay still, even when you and Harry offered her some candy. Her infectious belly laughs only grew as she thought this was some kind of funny game. But it wasn't and you made that clear when you told her she wouldn't be playing in the snow until she dressed up. Did she sit down like a good girl.

“Oh! Look at my baby!” you thrilled, holding her cheeks between your palms. Pulling her in for an eskimo kiss. Those have been her favorite for the longest. Ever since she got herself hooked on Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood. “You look so cute, beautiful” you tell her.

She smiles at the compliments, such a narcissist she was. Always asking you if she looked pretty in this or that at least once a day. Along with checking herself out in the mirror for an extended amount of time. Such a narcissist. Yet, you also loved the way she tilted her chin down, head lolled to the side bashfully.

Harry, like lightning, put her beanie over her braided pigtails while you put on her black snow boots. He picked her up once she finished dressing up,setting her on his blowing a raspberry on her chubby cheeks.

“Aren’t you guys the cutest” you hummed, pulling your phone out to take a picture. You chuckled when you watched the way her giggles disappeared at the sight of your phone. Instead a beaming smile, pressing her cheek to her father’s scruffy one. Snapping a few live photos of the two.

“I wanna see” her palm out towards you for the phone.

You shuffled yourself beside her, tilting the phone so they both could see the photos.

“Look so beautiful. Hm?” Harry marveled, placing a gentle kiss to her cheek.

She grinned at his acclaim, “Yes” she dragged out the s. Nodding her head in a gentle manner before placing a kiss on his cheek.

“You look so good too, H” you tell him. Your hand rubbing the cheek that wasn’t occupied by Ava.

He, without a doubt, did. He decided to stop shaving the last two weeks and gosh did he look good. The turquoise color brought out the green of his eyes. Instead of letting his hair down, he decided he’d clip it back with one of your clips.

He kissed you on the lips then on your cheek in result, Also exchanging a string of compliments your way, by whispering some not safe for kid ears into yours.. Your stomach did a bit of a flip at his husky voice, before you slapped his chest in a truce like manner.

“Milo! Let’s go outside!” Harry shouted out, clutching your hand as he led the three of you downstairs.

–––––

The four of you were outside in the white blanket. Milo was doing his zoomies, astounded with this new found discovery. Before his non-stop running. The first thing Milo did, when he came in contact with the snow, was freeze (ears up in curiosity), then he stuck his nose into the snow, ate some snow. Now he was running in circles.

Ava loved this, perched up on Harry’s shoulder as she giggled, her nimble finger following Milo’s body.

You had Harry’s phone pointed at the two of them, videoing the whole family.

And Harry was feeling gratified. His baby was on his shoulder happy as a lark. His other baby had a radiating smile on her beautiful face while recording these moments. as always. And his pup was having the time of his life

“Baby!” you lose it when Harry also looks away from Milo to face you in no time. “Ava...Can you catch a snowflake like this?”

Harry blows a huff. He hates when you do that (half the time on purpose). Watching you tilt your head back, eyes closed, and your tongue out as you catch snow in your mouth.

Ava catches on, her eyes go a bit crossed when she tries to see the snow landing on her tongue.

“Here, baby, hold her for a bit” he tells you, bringing her down into your open arms (so she’s now on your hip). He leans down a bit to gather a bit of snow in his hands to make a snowball. Then once he’s done, he has a mischievous smile when he targets it to your chest.

It startles you, “Harry!”

And you halt, again, when the kid on your hip starts to wail. Her head thrown back and her eyes closed, sealed tight.

"Aww. Don't cry baby. Look at what you did Harry" you reprimand him in a jest. His eyebrows raise in surprise, not expecting for this to end in her tears. "Daddy's mean right? Watch this" you shush her, watching her until she opens her eyes, only in small hiccups.

You crouch down carefully pulling some snow into your fist.

“Watch baby, gotta get revenge” you tell her smiling. Raising yourself up to then fling the snow into Harry’s chest. Ever the dramatic man. He clutched his heart over his jacket before falling back into the sea of snow groaning out. Opening one eye, when he hears the laugh of his precious girl.

“Here” you tell Ava, giving her own ball of snow. She eyes it for a little before she tries to shove the snow into her mouth like crazy. Very likely you shouldn’t have shown her how to catch the snowflakes beforehand. You roll your eyes at Harry when you hear his chuckles at the exchange.

When you tell her no and to throw it you watch her laugh as she flings it on top of her father. Who then groans again and lays with his tongue out and body spread out like the chalk outlines. You set her down to the ground and she zips to the “dead” body. She pokes his eye like earlier today because it always works, but when it doesn’t she relents to other forces.

“Mimi!” she calls the shepheard over, pointing down at Harry. Who is slowly breaking his facade (but she doesn’t notice). Milo bounded forward to his owner with zeal. Sniffing around Harry for a bit before licking his face, inducing Harry to shout. Jump scaring the three of you, especially poor Milo who dashed away and Ava who fell on her butt.

Ava didn’t appreciate it. Taking snow between her mittens and crushing it into H’s chest causing a laugh out of all you.

–––––

The sun was about to set and Harry and Ava were rolling up the last ball for the snowman’s head. You were smoothing the parts that were a bit rough. Milo was back in the house. Too tired from all the running he was doing, but you were able to get some family shots with him too.

“Be careful, babe” Ava tells Harry (unnecessarily loud), when his foot gets caught in an icy patch.

“Thank you babe” he tells her, leaning down to kiss her chin. “Wonder where she gets that from. Hm?” he teases you, winking at you and puckering his lips to blow you a kiss. As you smile shyly looking away from him.

They were on either side of you. Ava nestled into your side, her arms around one of yours. All while Harry begins to lift the final snowball onto the other two.

“There you go baby. Olaf!” he tells her one she’s finished.

She isn’t excited and looks at the figure confused for a minute. You look up at Harry, eye brows pinched, he looks at you the same way, his hands on his hip when he shrugs at you.

A little gasp makes you both turn your head to see her eyes light up and finger pointed upward, like in the movies.

“Forget his buttons, eyes, and nose” she tells you, trying to point at where each thing went.

“You’re so right, smart girl, let me go get them, find some sticks too.”

You shuffle through the backdoor. Gaining ompant when Milo decides to come out of the living room. Rubbing his head on the way there. Going into the fridge you get the shortest carrot in the bag before moving into the fireplace for some coal.

When you walk back out, Ava is sitting on Harry's shoulders again. Her arms wrapped around his forehead with an iron grip. You hand her the carrot.

“Thank you mommy” she cheered, the tip of her cheeks getting firmer with her grin.

You pinch her cheeks a little bit, in response. Turning around to place the coals in a shape of a smile, using the last five as his buttons and eyes. While doing this you notice the skinny branches as his arms.

“Okay Miss Styles time for you to do the honor. Go ahead and give him his nose”

Harry squats down until Ava's leveled with the snowman's head. She decides, among herself, to twirl the carrot around so the pointed part of the carrot gets buried in the snow. You truly don't have the heart to correct her when you see how proud of herself she is.

Once she finishes, Harry picks her up and off his shoulder so she's settled on his hip instead. He jostles her around, shouting an array of "Yay! Ava!" The three of you clapping your hands together to celebrate. All while Ava revels in the abundance of praise, yet she huddles her into the comforts of her dad's shoulder.

Her first snow day had gone way better than either of you would have imagined. You personally assumed that she would have hated it. Especially since it was a very cold substance. Or she would have cried the whole time, wanting to go back in instantly.

If anything, it was more perfect than anything. You loved your little family and there was quite possibly nothing that could replace the rush of emotions you felt when you were with them. Making these treasured moments. You think this all while Harry pulls you in for a kiss.

read a little continuation of this family here!

–––

if you enjoyed pls don’t forget to reblog or give feedback if ur up to it <3

#harry styles #harry styles x reader #dad!harry styles #dad! harry styles x reader #harry styles blurb #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles fluff #harry styles drabble #harry styles one shot #harry styles x fem!reader #dad harry styles x reader #harry styles reader insert #harry styles x you #husband!harry #dad!harry

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