#back pain but this weak I’m tender as hell like wtf

[miekasa]

the pre-pancetta snippet: early december, 3 months before the world went to shit

💉levi gets sick [levi grumbles in the background]

it was the pre-pandemic flu season. levi caught it at work and just his luck, it was pretty bad for him. but healthcare is expensive, capitalism sucks, so he wore a mask and still went to work the next day, thinking bedrest during the weekend would be enough. erwin kindly dropped off some sports drinks while hange gave him a new bag of black tea leaves. oc comes home to find him almost asleep at the table while waiting for water to boil for his tea and her senses tingle. she just knows. levi is pretty out of it by then, very pissed, feeling like shit, but still thinking about the slack he has to pick up at work. oc is very concerned because he looks awful. she bugs him and asks him if he’s okay with her checking him up. he is about to tell her to piss off but what the hell, lucky his roomie’s a doctor and he’ll take free healthcare when he can. so he nods once in dramatic brooding levi fashion.

her hands are cool on his forehead and neck, it feels so good, and levi is really trying not to accidentally moan out loud. when she brings out her stethoscope and asks him to take deep breaths, his focus is on her hand absentmindedly rubbing his shoulder [levi thoughts: he’s really out of it if this is all he can focus on]. oc’s brow furrows when she finds out he’s had only one cup of tea for the entire day and only one meal the day before. he says he’s brewing more, but oc is not having it! she heats up some leftover soup she has and makes him eat before handing him a tylenol. levi feels unsteady and weak but he’s trying to keep up the i’m-fine-it’s-just-the-flu facade. oc sees right through it and tails him to his room.

she helps him to bed, all while saying he’ll need meds for the virus and he needs to eat and drink more fluids because he’ll need an IV drip if not. even if it’s just the flu, he got a pretty bad case. levi strips off his shirt before he drops onto his pillows, grumpy and dismissive, telling her to just leave the prescription. he can handle it. oc snorts before leaving him alone (for now)

levi wakes up to rustling sounds and finds oc by his bedside setting up some stuff. his head is pounding, entire body is aching, and his cough is killing his throat. he’s very grumpy and is about to tell oc to just let him be but he gets a coughing fit. oc rubs his back while checking his vitals, her voice soft with worry as she asks him how he is feeling. he says he went to the bathroom but that’s it. he doesn’t see oc frown, but he’s more than annoyed that he is disturbed when she digs him out of the blankets. she helps him sit up, propping him on his pillows, and she makes him eat more soup, drink some tea, and take his meds. his throat is cooling and he realizes belatedly that she made him strong mint tea. he’s just swallowing whatever so he can go back to sleep [levi is trying very hard not to vocalize his disappointment whenever her hands leave him]. oc sighs at the little care her patient has for himself, but she tells him that he needs a drip at this point. she’s not satisfied with how little he’s been eating and drinking. levi is ready to throw hands because he refuses to spend thousands of dollars for 2 hours at the emergency room and get scammed by health insurance just so they can give him IV fluids, but oc surprises him by saying she’s all set up, and if he’s okay with it, she can do it here.

he shrugs and holds out his hand. the skin of her hands are a little rough with a few calluses, her touch so light and sure. the needle pinches but the pain dulls after a few seconds. he watches oc taping up the line and securing his hand to some makeshift splint so it doesn’t move around much. oc hangs up the bottle on the hanger she installed on the wall lamp by his bed before heading out. levi tries to fall back into sleep again. suddenly, he feels a damp cool cloth brush his forehead and his face while another hand runs through his hair gently. he’s groggy and he squirms because what. he hears oc shushing him, saying something about sponge baths for fever, and he’s just so not used to tenderness and care, and she’s sponging down his neck and his chest, running over his arms, turning him on his side gently so she doesn’t jostle him into wakefulness. her hands are firm and gentle as they wipe down his back and it’s cool and soothing and so good over his heated skin. he falls asleep in minutes. this never happens.

he thinks oc drops in once more in the middle of the night because he remembers someone holding him up to take something. when he wakes up the next morning, his fever is gone and he feels like himself again. he sees an empty bottle on his bedside table which means oc must have changed his drip too. the one he’s hooked to is almost gone. he’s in the middle of answering a work email on his phone when oc, already dressed for work, pops in to check on him. she has a tray in hand, looking genuinely relieved and happy that he’s better. his knows his appetite is back because the smell immediately makes his mouth water. he is very hungry after 3 days of soup and tea. she made really good pancakes, fried bacon to a perfect crisp, and the scrambled eggs are savory and creamy. it’s killing him. he can forgive the tea bag from a packet. levi is still a tea snob. oc is cheery, chirping that he’s good to go without a drip as long as he keeps up his food and fluids.

oc: water, tea, or pocari sweat, levi! none of the sugary sports drinks erwin left you, that stuff is a scam.

levi: i don’t have pocari—

oc: i bought you some, they’re in the drinks cupboard!

levi: why—

oc: it’s not just sugar, it has the electrolytes you need!!

she unhooks the IV and takes out his line, lays out his medication regimen and tells him to please call her if he starts feeling bad again. levi rolls his eyes and bats her concern away, grumbling that he’s fine and well enough, but he’s listening to every word she says. he utters a small thank you because how on earth does he convey his immense gratitude in words, he is not used to words!!! his cheeks feel very warm. oc giggles and ruffles his hair. she understands her roomie’s not talkative, but his soft gaze betrays everything beneath his gruff exterior. his shyness is adorable even if he was a grumpy old man while sick. oc thinks that her theory of him being 89 years old deep inside might be right after all. she sternly tells him to rest and lay off strenuous activities until he’s really recovered.

oc: rest. no cleaning today.

levi: my room—

oc: no. cleaning. today.

and just like that, she’s off to work [levi thoughts: wtf she works on sundays?]. all that levi can think of for three days, or more like since that day, are her gentle, comforting touches, her kind smiles, and how pretty she is. he tries, he really tries to push back the thoughts and bury the memories, but all efforts become in vain for him the next week.

he’s reading on the couch and relaxing for the night when oc comes out of her room looking like a fucking goddess. she’s in a deep green dress of flowing silk with thigh-high slit, sporting a dark, vibrant red lip, complaining of some recognition ceremony she has to attend for one of her bosses at work. she pouts while slipping on pumps that make her legs look even more stunning. levi is aware that he is staring and has tuned out her voice, so he forces himself out of it. he remembers basic conversation etiquette and lamely asks about the party. oc says it’s a black-tie-long-gown thing that’s a waste of her time. she twists her hair up in a messy bun and puts on earrings, grumbling that this is the most formal she’ll go. levi is mildly amused when she says she’ll nick a bottle of good champagne and some desserts before she escapes the party in an hour. tops.

levi: what if you get caught?

oc: they can spare one bottle and a few cupcakes

levi: and what reason have you come up with if they start interrogating you?

oc: my roommate is sad and a stress-eat is essential after shitty weeks of being underpaid laborers *cheeky smile*

he rolls his eyes. when she steps out their door (her uber’s there), levi counts to ten before groaning very loudly to let his frustrations out.

but she really did steal and bring home the good stuff, squealing in excitement when she sees that he was still up. he actually waited for her to get home but she doesn’t need to know that. they shared fruit tarts and fancy mini-cakes and worked through the bottle of champagne while bonding over their mutual disdain for assholes at work. conversation was open and easy, and levi cannot remember when he has been this comfortable around others who weren’t old friends of his. he was in an old shirt and jogger shorts. oc was still in her dress, barefoot, lipstick still perfect and bun still messy, picking a strawberry off the last cake while laughing at his dry jab about her boss. and jesus christ, she was exquisite.

at this point, denial begins to trickle in, but levi doesn’t know that yet. it’s just the champagne, right?

end. this was so mf long, i’m so sorry 😭 anyway this is insanely self-indulgent, and this is me coping with the pandemic (and with SnK ending today)

AHHHHHHH I LOVE ALL OF THIS ANON!!! SO MUCH!!!! PLEASE THIS HIT ALL THE MARKS!! Levi being reluctant to having someone take care of him, oc picking up on him not feeling well even though he’s not really showing it, and eventually just giving him the care and attention he needs (without suffocating him because you know he would be grumpy about that). I love this wow, seriously. 

AND THE END!! When they’re drinking together and he’s feeling better, you know damn well he didn’t even want her to leave in the first place, and IM SO GLAD HE’S FINALLY REALIZING!! Levi, my beloved, you are in love it is not the champagne 😌😌

[trensu]

Episode 27: The One where I Want to Punch Basically Every Sect Leader in the Face. Repeatedly. With a Chair.

And we start off back in the rain, AKA OUR ENDLESS TEARS

Wwx is like, do you remember our promise?

And lwj flashbacks TO THEIR LANTERN SCENE FROM THE ONE WHERE LWJ FINALLY SEES THE LIGHT

WE GET TO SEE LWJ’S PRECIOUS BABY FACE AS HE FALLS HEAD OVER HEELS IN THAT FLASHBACK

IT HURTS SO GOOD

Wwx: i wished to stand with justice and live without regrets. But tell me now, who’s strong, who’s weaker? Who’s right and who’s wrong?

Lwj: wei ying! 

Oh god, his voice! HE’S DISTRESSED

Wwx: is this the promise we pledged our lives to keep?

THEY BOTH LOOK SO HEARTBROKEN RN

Oh, look, lwj is doing the deathgrip of gay yearning on bichen again. We haven’t seen that in awhile AND I WISH WE WEREN’T SEEING IT NOW

Okay, but for real, how can lwj look so hurt here when the actor is literally doing nothing with his face??

I know i’ve mentioned that before, BUT C’MON, HOW?? HOW DOES THAT EVEN WORK??

Wwx: my only regret is that i didn’t stop the jin clan who took living people as bait

I REGRET YOU NOT TAKING DOWN THE JIN CLAN TOO

WE COULD’VE AVOIDED SO MANY PROBLEMS IF WE’D JUST KILL OFF 90% OF THAT CLAN, OMG

And now wwx is all, i missed my chance to protect wen ning before so now i MUST leave to save him

BC WWX IS THE BEST MOST HONORABLE PERSON IN THE WORLD

Oh no

Oh noooo

He’s pulling out his demon flute. We’re gonna get THAT SCENE

Wwx: lan zhan, if i finally have to fight them, i’d prefer to fight with you

Wwx: if i am doomed to die, at least i can be killed by you. That would be worth it.

HE SAYS THAT BC HE TRUSTS VIRTUOUS LWJ TO STOP HIM IF HE REALLY IS IN THE WRONG

AND I AM SCREAMING IN PAIN RN

BC LOOK AT LWJ’S FACE

HE’S LISTENING TO HIS SOULMATE TELL HIM THAT HE WANTS HIS DEATH TO BE AT HIS HAND

Oh god, he’s doing the bichen deathgrip again

He tears his gaze away from wwx and turns to the side TO LET THEM ALL GO PAST

EYES LOWERED AS HIS HEART BREAKS INTO A MILLION PIECES

HE’S CRYING OH GOD HE’S CRYING

THERE ARE TEARS GOING DOWN HIS FACE, OH GOD WHY IS THIS HAPPENING

HE DIDN’T EVEN CRY WHEN HIS HOME GOT BURNED AND HIS FAMILY WAS MISSING AND/OR DYING

And now he drops his umbrella to the ground AS HE TRIES TO DROWN HIMSELF IN THE RAIN

*HYSTERICAL SOBBING*

THEY PACKED ALL THAT HEARTBREAK INTO THE FIRST 6MIN OF THE EPISODE, WTF, SOMEBODY STAB ME

And after all that emotional torture we get Plot Stuff happening

Blah blah wwx at the burial mounds blah blah sect leader banquet blah blah

Ugh, gross, they’re letting the idiot sect leaders talk again

They’re all blah blah wwx is evil blah blah he murders ppl blah blah we hate him blah blah

SHUT UP YOU BUNCH OF WALKING HUMAN-RIGHTS-VIOLATIONS

This whole part here is so difficult to watch. They’re literally just trash-talking my PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY

Jc, lwj, and lxc look visibly uncomfortable with what’s going down and they kind of sort of tried to defend wwx but they didn’t present a united front or hold their ground

Instead they let yao and ouyang run their stupid mouths

Anyway

Here’s little itty bitty bits of almost wangxiantics in the middle of this mess

Jgs: yeah, jc, i know wwx is your trusted bro and all but idk if wwx actually respects your authority. Do something about it, maybe

Lwj: *subtly glares at jgs*

And then everyone joins in on dragging wwx’s name through the mud bc apparently that’s the hot new thing in the cultivator world

If you look closely while this is happening, you can see that lwj legit GRINDS HIS TEETH with how much he’s holding back. MY POOR BB HAVING TO SIT THERE AND LISTEN TO EVERYONE DISPARAGE HIS SOULMATE

Jgs: wwx totally doesn’t respect you, jc, my bro. Everyone here heard him say how much he thinks you suck or whatever

Lwj: No I didn’t.

OOOOH, LWJ IS ANGRY AS HELL

HE’S OUTRIGHT GLARING AT JGS 

Jgs: what??

Lwj: i never heard wei ying say that, nor did i see him disrespect clan leader jiang

HANGUANG-JUN I LOVE YOU, LOOK AT YOU DEFENDING THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE, I’M SO PROUD OF YOU 

And ugh, disgusting, jgy steps in to be all “oh, well, wwx said so many awful things that day, who can possibly remember the specifics?”

Lwj visibly swallows here, as if he’s choking back a response, and his lips are all pursed. 

HE’S FURIOUS. HE’S ROILING WITH IMPOTENT ANGER, WHICH IS THE WORST KIND OF ANGER, TBH

That’s all the wangxiantics we get from that terrible awful sect leader banquet

THOSE SECT LEADERS NEED TO GET PUNCHED IN THE FACE

LIKE, A LOT

WITH A CHAIR

OR A TABLE

YOU KNOW WHAT, LET ME JUST TAKE BICHEN AND BEAT THEM ALL WITH IT

OR BETTER, YET, I’LL USE BAXIA. I WON’T EVEN CUT THEM UP. I’LL JUST BEAT THEM WITH THE BROAD PART

*ANGRY YELLING*

Oh, wait a minute. Wait a minute! 

This isn’t a wangxiantic

But it is an EPIC MOMENT that should be commemorated.

Because here we get…

*drum roll*

MIANMIAN BEING A BOSS

Jz: blah blah wwx kills our people indiscriminately blah blah

Mm: not indiscriminately

Mm: indiscriminate is not accurate

And everyone around her is like, confused and offended because they’re assholes

Mm: in this specific case, if the overseers did abuse the Wen prisoners and kill wen ning, then what wwx did was not “killing indiscriminately”

Ouyang: nah, the overseers said they never abused/killed anyone

Mm: OF COURSE THEY’D FUCKING SAY THAT. THEY DON’T WANT TO FACE PUNISHMENT, YOU IDIOT

(okay, she didn’t call him an idiot outright or swear, but it was totally there in her tone of voice and also ouyang is an idiot so there)

Mm: you all think you’re so smart and voice your opinions so loudly

Mm: I SECEDE FROM THIS BULLSHIT. FUCK THE JIN CLAN AND YOUR STUPID CLAN POLITICS

And she throws down her jin robes and mARCHES RIGHT OUT OF THAT SHITHOLE WITH HER HEAD HELD HIGH

MIANMIAN PLEASE MARRY ME

Lwj watches her do that and two seconds later follows her out bC HE RECOGNIZES BADASSERY WHEN HE SEES IT (and also she defended the love of his life)

And that badass moment ends

But the banquet of idiots keeps going

The jin clan needs to learn how to shut the fuck up

God, they just go on and on and on

Why are they torturing me like this

OH WAIT, WE’RE OUTSIDE THE BANQUET HALL NOW

We see lwj and mm standing together on a terrace, talking to each other

BUT WE DON’T GET TO HEAR WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER AND THAT HAUNTS ME TO THIS DAY

WHAT DID THEY SAY

TELL MEEEEEEE

Oh, side note to let you all know this direct quote from nmj - “that girl really has a backbone.”

Okay nmj, i’m slightly less angry at you now. I won’t try to beat you with bichen or a table or a chair.

(but now i kinda wish mm would join the nie clan. I think she’d do well there and also i want to see her carry a gigantic saber)

We get some chitchat with the Official Bros™ but idc let’s move on 

(tho i do appreciate the look nmj gives jgy, like, HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME lolol)

Ooooh, now we’re getting lan fam time

ANGRY lan fam time, uh oh.

Lqr: lwj, have you regretted it? I didn’t punish you when you broke into the Forbidden Chamber bc i thought you’d self-reflect 

Lqr: you shouldn’t have gone to qiongqi way and let wwx go. Should you make one mistake after another?

And lwj is kneeling in front of him this whole time with a blank face

Lqr: what’s the use of getting you to memorize the Great Big Book of Lan Fam Rules?? Tell me, what is rule 52?

Lwj: No association with evil

He answers immediately and without any inflection to his voice.

Lqr: did you forget what happened to your father???

AND WE FINALLY GET A REACTION HERE

Lwj practically gasps and lifts his gaze to meet his uncle head-on

Lwj: my mother, she…!

Lqr: hold your tongue!

And just like that, lwj shuts down again; expression flat and gaze lowered

GOD, THIS CLAN HAS HURT HIM SO MUCH THROUGHOUT HIS LIFE

I MEAN, THEY MUST’VE, FOR HIM TO BE ABLE TO JUST DISCONNECT LIKE THAT

THAT IS NOT THE BEHAVIOR OF A NORMAL WELL-ADJUSTED PERSON

Basically the entire lan clan needs to go to therapy, like, STAT

Oh, i just noticed, lwj has his fists clenched at his sides. He’s clenching them hard, too. I think they’re trembling a bit, actually…

Lqr: i’ve been taking care of you since you were a kid; you’re like my son.i was strict bc i wanted you to stick to the right path and avoid your father’s tragedy

Lqr: that’s what i wanted to say to you. I hope you choose the right path. You may leave.

Lwj still bows respectfully before taking his leave

And i’m sure y’all are wondering, hey trensu, why did you make us endure that angry lan fam time that hurt us deep in our soul?? That wasn’t wangxiantic at all!

That’s where you're wrong, my friends!

It’s actually SUPER wangxiantic bc lqr kept drawing parallels to lwj’s dad the practically whole time

You know, the dad that married their mother who murdered some guy and had the whole world turn against her. 

(Sound familiar?)

The same mother that dad loved with his entire being and did what he could to keep her safe from the ramifications of her actions? By marrying her? And hiding her in the cloud recesses?

YEAH, HE’S EQUATING WANGXIAN WITH LWJ’S PARENTS’ TRAGIC ROMANCE

Bc, you know, that’s a totally hetero comparison to make lol

Oh, now we get to see our favorite Disaster Het be less of a disaster

We’re not going into detail here bc we’re not here for hetero shenanigans, yuck (actually, i’m apparently weak to Pining Idiots of all kinds bc this whole jzx/jyl scene is giving me tender feelings)

BUT

I do want to add that OMG FOR REAL LWJ AND JZX HAVE SO MUCH IN COMMON WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR LOVE LIVES, IT’S FANTASTIC

I NEED 10 MILLION FICS OF THEM COMMISERATING OVER THEIR SHARED DISASTER-NESS

Also, how the HELL did jzx end up being the one who was able to express his intentions clearly? He was all “please don’t go to the burial mounds, stay here with me so i can protect you from all who would want to hurt you”

DAMN IT LWJ, IF YOU’D JUST SAY THAT TO WWX, HE’S UNDERSTAND WHAT’S GOING ON. 

YOU CAN’T JUST BE ALL “COME TO GUSU” WITH NO EXPLANATION

Jzx accomplished this before you did, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED.

Huh, okay, i guess i did go into a bit of detail with that hetero nonsense. Oh well.

Now we’re at the burial mounds again with wwx

AND WE SEE A-YUAN PROPERLY FOR THE FIRST TIMEEEEE!!

ANY A-YUAN MOMENT IS BY DEFAULT A WANGXIANTIC, GUYS, TRUST ME.

AAHHHH, WE SEE A-YUAN DO THAT LEG-GRABBY THING HE DOES!!!

HE’S SO CUTE. TOO ADORABLE.

I LOVE YOU A-YUAN

Lol, wwx is all if you don’t let go i’ll plant you like a turnip

And a-yuan plops himself down in the dirt like YOUR THREATS DON’T WORK ON ME, OLD MAN, I LIKE BEING IN THE DIRT

Then he asks wwx for 3 elder brothers and 2 elder sisters, awwww. He thinks wwx can grow them in the garden (like cabbage patch kids!!!)

Plot stuff happens

Blah blah wwx and wq share moment blah blah jc shows up blah blah

Lol

Jc sees that glowing talisman door thing and is like THAT SIGN WON’T STOP ME BC I CAN’T READ

And then whips it down with zidian

Now we get some feelings-laden Yunmeng bros time

A-yuan shows up and leg-grabs jc and it’s ADORABLE

But jc yells at him bc he’s a JERK

Wwx scolds jc and then is a Dad to a-yuan: don’t put your hand in your mouth, you were just touching dirt!

Awww, we get to see jc fight back a smile at this! HE WANTS TO BE AN UNCLE, I JUST KNOW IT.

Plot plot plot stuff happens

More plot stuff happens

And the episode ends with us still in the burial mounds with the yunmeng bros

And you know what, i’m just gonna focus on our BAMF mianmian moment bc quite frankly the rest of the episode either had me in tears of anguish or spitting mad. There was no inbetween. 

I’m gonna end up having blood pressure problems at this rate.

I’m too poor young to have blood pressure problems.

The Jin clan better pay for any medical bills I get because of them, I'm just saying

Return to Masterpost

[sweet-nebulae]

♡ Comforting them when they’re crying ♡

✿ Zen ✿

He has to be strong for his prince/ss!

But sometimes he is just so fucking exhausted that laying in bed with the love of his life seems more appealing than getting out of bed to do anything else

Your head on his chest, his arms around your waist, and your legs intertwined - yes please

It may be a low energy, low motivation day, but that doesn’t mean it’s not enjoyable

He has a tendency to get too introspective when you’re both so silent, but his sudden tears will still shock you both

He’ll laugh it off, rubbing at his eyes and tightening his grip on you

“I’m fine jagi, really! I don’t know what happened”

Feel free to make a big deal out of it, propping yourself up on your elbows to shower his face in kisses to chase all those tears away!

He’ll find it absolutely adorable and won’t be able to stop himself from grinning or laughing some more

He won’t say it, but it’s actually really comforting to know that you’ll always be there for him, even in cases like this

It’s a really warm feeling that makes Zen flip the two of you and start showering your face in kisses instead

Revenge!

✿ Yoosung ✿

This sweet child

Cries when he’s drunk

Cries when he thinks you’re hurt

Probably cries when the LOLOL server goes under sudden maintenance in the middle of a raid

But if it’s serious crying, he’s the type to scrub at his face and tell you it’s nothing while still whimpering and sobbing

clutches chest

Gets red-faced when he cries, hot to the point that you can feel it even through your lips when you kiss his wet cheek

Doesn’t really see a problem with you seeing him cry?? Like yeah, it’s embarrassing, but you’re not making fun of him

You’re actually looking at him in worry, reaching out to brush his tears away, and fuck you’re so cute -

are you sad or in love yoosung

You are his safe place to cry - right in your arms, head against your chest

And he wants you to feel the same about him too

He wants to be able to make you feel as safe and protected and loved as you can make him feel

This isn’t even remotely angsty anymore it’s just cute wtf Yoosung

✿ Jaehee ✿

Baehee actually rarely cries

She’s so used to having her will to live absolutely destroyed on a daily basis by one Jumin Han that she’s like

Crying??? Why, I could be doing other things

I do have 56 things to do for Mr. Han at this moment after all

jumin ffs

She’s an incredibly cute crier, which is sort of unfair considering it’s crying

Why does anyone look attractive when crying

Her cheeks redden and she makes these soft little hiccupping sounds and listen

It may be cute but it’s fucking painful to see or hear

She’s such a strong woman, if she’s crying about something and it’s not tears of happiness/emotion because of a Zen musical then something has really gotten to her

Likes to be absolutely enveloped and close to you when she’s upset

Gently slide her glasses of her face and then take her to your bed and pull the covers up over the two of you

She’ll curl up and just cling to you

It’s a rare sign of vulnerability that she usually can’t show in her line of work, and she is so grateful you don’t judge her for it

when she peeks her head back up and her face is all red from crying and her hair is all messed up she’s so cute i just want to fdjhgjdhffh kiss her a lot, so you definitely should do that

✿ Jumin ✿

Mr. Trustfund Kid?? Crying???

Lol

Lololololololololol

He doesn’t cry

It’s a lie, you’ve seen him cry a lot

There’s a picture of him with tears in his lashes during your wedding that you value over your life

It’s actually really rare that Jumin cries anything other than surprised tears of happiness

Rare, but it does happen

You never know what triggered it though. Jumin, talking about his feelings? LOL

I mean, he tries, but in moments like these it’s more comfortable for him to just stay silent, and you give him that small comfort

A very silent crier, but will grip you so tightly

Buries his face in your shoulder or neck and just clings to you like you’re the only thing keeping him from crumbling you may be

Pressing soft kisses to his temple and placing your hand on the back of his head are probably his favorite ways that you try to soothe him

He’s not someone who needs to hear assertions that everything will be okay - he’s a logical person, he knows this

But in the moment nothing is okay

He takes the most solace from just having you, the person he loves most in the entire world safe in his arms, holding him back and showing you care through small physical acts of affection

God he fucking loves you

✿ Saeyoung ✿

Despite how larger than life his personality seems to be at times, he really makes an effort to make sure no one hears or sees him crying

Tensed shoulders, hands clenched into fists, fingernails digging into flesh, a dull and all-consuming pain in his throat and wrists as he tried sort of successfully to shove his anguish back down

Crying was just simply something he didn’t think he deserved the luxury of doing

When you entered the picture, things went slightly different

He still tried like hell to keep you from noticing, because what if you got the wrong idea? What if you thought he was anything less than incredibly happy you were in his life? What if you thought -

He can work himself into a panic pretty easily, especially when his brain works against him

When you wrap your arms around his shoulders from behind or reach for his hand in moments like these he just absolutely breaks down

Just turns into you and the comfort you provide no matter what position he’s in and sobs

Literal sobs, the kind that causes his entire body to shake and his throat to ache

It’s not an over-exaggeration to say that you are the only thing keeping him together in these moments

Will tell you what’s bothered him, but you have to press to get it out of him - usually his response is just a whispered and teary “I love you so much”

Because he does

He really does love you with every minuscule fiber of his being, and he cannot believe he ever got so lucky to have you in his life

✿ Jihyun ✿

This poor baby TT

Seeing him cry is just so fucking painful

His eyes are so bright and clear that when tears blur them they get all glassy and just lost looking

Will always try to apologize and wipe his tears away with the back of one of his fingers

His breath will hitch if you gently grasp his hand in your own and draw his fingers away from his face, pressing a soft kiss to the skin beneath his eyes instead

His eyes will widen for a split second at such a tender display of comfort and affection and then his expression will shift into one of such pure sadness and love that it will just break your heart even more

Kiss him

Kiss him lots

Please

He needs a lot of soft kisses TT

Honestly just needs a lot of soft treatment in general

He’ll always end up crying harder when you try to comfort him, but don’t misunderstand

He’s just always floored by what a wonderful person you are

Lots of gentle kisses will be pressed to the back of your hands in thanks and love, even if he’s still crying

Jihyun you dummy dry your tears first gjhdjh

✿ Saeran ✿

Does he like crying in front of you?

Fuck no

Does he?

Unfortunately for him, quite often

Now he knows that logically him crying isn’t a sign of weakness, or of how broken he is

And it’s not going to scare you off or give you second thoughts about staying with him

That doesn’t stop the sharp pang of fear whenever he feels tears burning at the backs of his eyes though

Comforting him isn’t always easy - sometimes he craves the safety of physical touch, sometimes he’s snarling at you to leave him the hell alone

If he pushes you away he just needs some space - he inevitably feels awful about it, which just upsets him more, and he ends up even more emotional than before

Will never ask for it but absolutely loves when your cup his face and tenderly brush away his tears with your thumbs, kissing his forehead and eyelids

The contrast of your cool fingers on his hot skin helps relax him

He doesn’t know how, but you always seem to know what to do to help him feel better

Whether it’s just sitting next to him with your fingers interlaced with his or cuddled together on the couch with some stupid show playing in the background, legs interlaced

No matter how shit he feels, just being near you makes him feel a tiny bit better

Like you’re helping to fill some empty part of him

He doesn’t like feeling so weak around you, but somehow, you make it more bearable than trying to deal with it alone

✿ Vanderwood ✿

He’s a fucking agent, he doesn’t have time to cry

If he feels like he’s about to he usually just roughly rubs at his eyes like oh fuck no

Has no idea how to react when you tell him it’s okay to cry

Like???

He wants to be the strong one and crying isn’t a sign of strength??

vanderwood shut the fuck up

He doesn’t mean to act so gruff and coarse about it all, but he’s just not used to allowing himself to be vulnerable like that, especially in front of anyone he cares about

Feels a bit uncomfortable when you show so much obvious worry and care towards him, but does manage to send you a small smile with the hint of a flush high up on his cheeks to assure you that everything was okay

He is unfairly attractive when he flushes, btw

Unless something really fucks with him, he never allows himself to cry for very long

And unless its one of those times, the most comfort he really needs is just your hand on his arm or the warmth of you at his side

Things in the world may fucking suck, but he feels like they may not suck as much so long as he has you

did he actually just think that?? djhdhdfdhs please ignore the suddenly flustered vanderwood who can’t control his own thoughts

[kweebtrash]

Could you make a drabble with Johnny masturbating while thinking of Eri? 🤭

I already did this in Ch. 3. So i decided to do a masturbation scene with phone sex, teasing, dirty talk, Johnny being really desperate and needy?, and a smidge of daddy kink. So like I hope that’s ok? Also in Johnny's POV(obvs).

[9:45pm]

Wyd?

I typed out my favorite three letters in hopes of enticing her enough to come over. I had no idea why but the feeling of her beneath me while I fucked her hard was suddenly stuck in my brain. It had been all I could think about for the past half hour and I couldn’t quit. I imagined pinning her legs down with mine and laying my body over hers which made her look smaller than she actually was. She would almost always squirm against me, shoving her ass back to take me deeper and I just-

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: not you. Bye

What?? Now I would have to spend extra time convincing her. God, fuck my life. 

C'mon baby. I'll really make it worth your while

🦇BattOuttaHell🦇: yah I'm sure🙄 I'm busy

Doing what?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: none of ur business. I'm busy

Jesus did I really have to beg? I bet she wasn't even doing anything. It’s fucking Tuesday night. Who does anything on a Tuesday?

Please baby? I can't stop thinking about you

Girls liked that shit,I didn't they? I mean...it was actually true though.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: BWAHAHAHAHHA

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: lmao ur that desperate huh baby boy?

I'm not desperate 😑 just horny

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: hate to break it to ya but horny and bugging me is you being desperate

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: srsly tho I'm stuck studying for an exam I know jack shit about. I'm screwed

You can also be screwed if you come over

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: pls die

Why are you so violent all the time?!!

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: bruh violence is my middle name

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: sry but it'll just be u and ur hand tonight

I groaned because I really really didn't want that. I would much rather have her squeezed around my cock and hear those soft breathy moans she made all the time. She would always hold onto me then, maybe dig some scratches into my back as I went as deep as I could go. I groaned in frustration and wanted to throw my phone but persisted. I was going to regret typing this and was already cringing but I figured I had to pull out the big guns. We were still trying this whole thing out but a test drive wouldn't be so bad.

Princess, daddy really needs you

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: oh my god Johnathan

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: 🚫🛑✋

I thought you liked that???

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I do

The ellipse signaling her response bubbled for awhile and I wondered what the hell kind of paragraph she was writing.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: princess has to study. I'm srsly gonna fail😭😭

Just a little break? Please??

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: daddy with you it's never a "little break"

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: ull keep me there for hours and then I won't sleep and then I'll be tired and then I will fail

I sat up a little straighter staring at that word. It had a much different and more profound effect on me when she wrote it. I didn't cringe; instead I felt it deeply seeded within the base of my cock and it made my hormones go into overdrive. I quickly typed out a response hoping to make the conversation a bit more...dirty.

That's for sure

You know how long I can go and how weak you are for me when I've been inside you for hours.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: I mean it's alright ig

Goddamn it! Why was she like this? She was such a frustrating little shit!

Bruh I'm just tryna get off ok? If you're not gonna come over can you at LEAST help me out a little??????????

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: wtf you want me to do? Sext you??

I mean it's better than you being a dick to me

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: aww baby boy wants to whineeee

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: u are pretty much begging at this point

I rolled my eyes hating that she was kind of right.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: good thing I like to hear men beg for me

Oh shit. Did that mean that I was getting closer to her helping me? It was probably one of those kink things. I thought for awhile if I should actually swallow my pride and do it some more just to get her to participate. I was going to feel like an idiot but at least I'd be an idiot who came. I sent her a snap of me pouting with the puppy filter trying to be cute enough.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: ur an idiot u know that right?

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: anyway idk how to sext?

What do you mean you dont know how to sext? You just do it.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: well i’m not gonna say stuff your cock in my pussy thats fucking disgusting

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: also im a writer so it’s just gonna come out weird

Try me. You can like describe what you like me doing to you. Anything.

I set my phone down and waited for her to respond. It wasn’t that difficult. I did it all the time but i wanted her to start. I just wanted to hear her instead of being wrapped up in my stupid fantasies. I looked down at the bulge in my sweatpants and sighed. If i got started now then I would keep getting interrupted and have to wipe my hand off every time. I set my pillow over my head and hoped that if I suffocated myself enough then I wouldn't have to suffer any longer.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: this is not going to be sexy at all lol

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: but i seriously love when you grab my hips and use it to fuck me deeper. I love how much you stretch me open, how much you fill me and those grunts you make when youre close

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: i love when youre fucking me from behind and press yourself into my back and pin my wrists down. You make me feel so small and wrapped up in protectiveness i guess? Or maybe possessiveness. You usually bite down on my neck and shoulders when youre like that. The hickies are a pain in the ass to cover but i love looking at them afterwards and feeling how tender they are. It makes me remember the ache and how i cant wait to fuck you again.

🦇BatOuttaHell🦇: is this ok?

Fuck. yes. I typed out as soon as my phone vibrated with her response.

Shit, i couldn’t believe just her typing something could get me even harder but i could feel myself throbbing beneath my sweats. I wanted her to keep going but I needed to get off before i couldn’t take it anymore. I dared to call her and hear her seductive but shy voice. I dialed her number and hoped to God she would answer.

"Are you trying to have phone sex with me?" She asked instantly.

"15 minutes." I panted. "Take a break for 15 minutes."

"No more than that. I really have to study…"

"I promise, baby. I promise." I shoved my sweats off, keeping the phone between my ear and shoulder, and grabbed the base of my cock. The first stroke was slow, steady, full of yearning and as it turned out desperation. Precum was already covering my head and making a mess but I used that to my advantage. It added slickness to my strokes, easily letting my palm slide up and down my shaft. "Please just talk to me."

Her voice seemed to get a little lower. "What do you want me to say?"

"Anything." I bit down on my lip for a moment as my hips lifted into a particularly rough jerk. "I just want to hear your voice."

"I want to hear your moans then. Those pants, the groans, those little growls. Don't hold back, Johnny."

I set the phone on speaker so I could keep it beside me and have more freedom. "Ye-yeah. I won't hold back trust me."

I gripped onto the blanket beside me, trying to remind myself that I needed to use those fifteen minutes to my full advantage. I knew with how much of a brat she was, she probably already had a timer going. I slowed my strokes a little bit, giving my fingers time to roll over my head and dip into my slit. I breathed out a soft pant as I focused everything on how sensitive I was. With each stroke of my fingers I imagined Eri on top of me, grinding into my hips and taking every inch I would give her. She looked so utterly gorgeous, like a fucking goddess every time she smirked down at me or set her hands on my chest to steady herself. Why was she so damn perfect?

"A little louder Johnny. I want to really hear you or else I'll hang up."

"N-no." I choked out. "F-fuck...I'm just thinking about you!"

My fist was trembling around the blanket as I could hardly hold back. I squeezed my hand a little tighter around myself trying to replicate the way she clenched around my cock. It wasn't exactly the same but damn near close.

"Hmm? Thinking about me? What am I doing to my baby boy?"

“Riding me! Fuck you’re riding me so fucking good.” I groaned louder than I expected. My thighs were starting to tremble just a bit and i dug my toes into the mattress. I was bucking even harder than before, The thoughts of her were driving me crazy; her voice was adding to it all and those coy little giggles made it even worse. I wanted her so fucking bad.

“Do you want to cum?” She breathed out. 

“Yes.” I growled deeply. “Eri...shit…”

“You’re super cute when youre begging. Do you think I should let you?” She teased.

“Oh, i’m going to, whether you let me or not princess. What daddy says, goes.” i released another growl and gripped my balls with my other hand, squeezing them in a chaotic dance of pleasure and need.

“Not when daddy calls princess begging to fuck. You can hold out a bit longer. I deserve to hear a few more moans.”

I let out a growl of frustration. “Eri.” I said sternly. “I swear to god…”

“Say my name like that as you fuck me from behind.”

I tossed my head back into the mattress as the vision popped in my head instantly. My hand stroked at an ungodly pace as i felt my release approaching fast. I was a mess of feelings and sounds, drowning in my own lust and letting my body fall into every awakened nerve. My muscles tightened and i felt warmth rush over me. My breathing deepened as I squeezed out the last few ropes of cum that splattered all over my stomach. My hand was drenched as well and i flopped back, sighing as i knew i had so much to clean up. I picked up the phone with my clean hand and took her off speaker.

“14 minutes, 39 seconds. Good job.”

“I knew,” I licked my lips and tried to steady my breath. “You were fucking counting, you evil little shit.”

“Whhaaatttt! I have to get back to studying! Except I might have a little fun myself.”

“Are you kidding me? After I asked? God, i cant stand you.”

She chuckled and I could just see that devilish smirk on her face. “Mhm, whatever you say. I have to get going now. Have fun cleaning up.”

[whereisthefood123]

Broken

Based on this amazing story from @neen-writes Go read it first if you haven’t yet! (’Broken’ can be read as a complementary fic and follow-up story?)

Word count: 1.6k

Angst ahead!

Thanks to @bluuesparrow for beta-ing :)

Seeing him like that, beaten to the ground with no strength left to stand back up, had Levy moving instinctively to stand protectively between Gajeel and the rogue mages.

“LEVY!” She heard him yelling, probably cursing under his breath for her recklessness. She was at her limit too, but the fire in her soul commanding her to protect him helped her deal with the exhaustion and pain that wracked her body.

Without noticing it, Levy’s hands were moving, drawing the spell ‘Mirror’ and pouring all the magic she had left into it. This was it; this was their last chance to make it out alive. If she screwed up now, not just her, but Gajeel too will-

No. Get it together, Levy. I’ll do it right.

Her magic flowed into her spell which grew into a massive script in front of her. With the magic blast coming towards them and with no more options available, Levy braced herself for the impact.

This will have to do it.

“Damnit Lev, get-” She didn’t hear the last part of his sentence as it was drowned out by the loud sound of magic clashing against her barrier. The attack was stronger than she expected and she had to dig the balls of her feet in the ground when she was pushed back from the impact. Her body tensed up with the effort of keeping the barrier up. Her lungs burned for the much needed air while her consciousness threatened to leave her at any given moment.

I can’t give up! I want- no, I will protect Gajeel!

She screamed when she willed the last traces of her magic to be poured into her barrier. She knew it was risky as hell to use that much magic, but if she was to fall, she would make sure she’d at least take down most of the enemies with her.

Thank the heavens above, her spell worked wonderfully just as she expected. The attack flew back towards the rogue mages, blasting them away and knocking most of them out cold. Relief flooded through her as she tried to recover her breath with painful effort.

Her arms fell limp to her sides as Levy was unable to will her trembling body to listen to her anymore. She knew the risks of her plan but went through with it anyways.

At least…

She managed to turn her head slowly to look at Gajeel on the ground staring at her in awe and concern. The corners of her mouth moved upwards in a weak smile when her hazel eyes met his red irises.

He’s… okay…

The distinctive metallic taste of blood in her mouth reminded her of the unavoidable predicament she had dragged herself into. She felt light-headed in a moment and her eyelids grew heavy as she couldn’t focus her eyes on Gajeel anymore.

I’m sorry, Gajeel.

Levy’s eyes rolled back into her head as she fell unconscious to the ground like a broken doll.

“LEVY!!”

When Levy opened her eyes, the only thing she could feel was exhaustion. Even when it seemed like she had slept for ages, her body felt like lead and her eyelids were so heavy that it was an impressive feat that she had her eyes open. Heavy breaths escaped her lips and fogged the mask that covered her mouth and nose helping her breathe.

“Levy…” Her tired eyes looked to her right and there she found Pantherlily in his large form looking down at her with concern in his eyes. When she met his gaze, a relieved smile graced the Exceed’s features as the corner of his eyes crinkled in happiness.

“How are you feeling?” He brushed her hair from her sweaty forehead with a gentle paw. She tried to utter a ‘Fine’ but instead a groan escaped her lips.

“Don’t push yourself. You still need rest.” Levy blinked slowly in understanding and smiled tiredly at her friend.

“I’ll let the other-”

“Lily,” Gajeel growled, interrupting his friend before he could finish his statement. He stood at the end of the bed with arms crossed over his chest and narrow eyes directed at Levy. His body language screamed tension and anger.

“Get out,” he commanded in his gruff voice.

“Gajeel, I don’t think-”

“Out I said!” He raised his voice and bared his fangs in an angry snarl at the Exceed looking him dead in the eye. Levy instinctively winced at his harsh tone but Lily hardened his face at his friend. He shifted his posture to a more protective stand beside Levy and met Gajeel’s fierce gaze with his own.

Tension was palpable in the room while Levy looked at both males trying to understand what was happening around her.

After a minute that seemed to last longer, Gajeel softened his gaze and relaxed his posture ever so slightly, uncrossing his arms and letting them rest on each side of him. “Please, Lily.” His voice was softer this time and his eyes weren’t as harsh as they had been a minute ago.

Lily huffed in understanding and he too let the tension leave his body. He looked back at Levy and squeezed her shoulder gently. “I’ll be just outside, okay?” He smiled when Levy blinked slowly again.

Okay.

Lily walked to the exit of the infirmary room but he paused for a moment to send Gajeel another fierce gaze. Against all expectations, the dragon slayer looked away from his friend in discret submission to his silent request.

Be nice.

After Lily closed the door behind him, silence took over the atmosphere in the room. Levy looked at Gajeel with tired eyes but he stayed rooted to his spot. He lowered his face and his black hair shadowed his eyes. His mouth set into a thin line and he clenched his fists tightly.

“Ga-” Levy tried to speak again, but even if she had the ability to do so, the dragon slayer interrupted her with his angry demand.

“Tell me what the hell were ya thinking, Levy?!” He tried his best not to raise his voice at her, but she could feel the rage in his words. Pent-up tension dripped from his question and Levy tried her best to decipher his expression but he didn’t raise his eyes to meet hers.

“Eh?!” He exclaimed and took a couple steps to stand next to her. “Ya almost- Tsk,” his voice quivered a little but the tension never left his words.

“I thought ya were smarter, Shrimp! But yer just too stupid fer your own good!” He snarled and Levy’s soul ached at his harsh words.

Why are you saying such horrible things? I did that to protect you, stupid. Why are you being such a jerk?!

Then, Levy noticed his shoulders shaking and his lips trembling. “Too stupid…” his voice broke down and finally he met her gaze with his red eyes.

Levy felt a stab to her heart when she saw the despair and anguish in his eyes. Unshed tears gathered at the corner of his crimson orbs but his lips couldn’t hold in the sobs that wracked his soul.

“Yer too stupid… Ya almost-… what if-?” His voice was thick with sadness as he was unable to utter that terrible word that had haunted him for several days since Lily brought them back to the guild.

Died.

Because Levy being alive was nothing short of a miracle. And the minutes that he had endured waiting for any sign of her waking up had been the most painful and agonising minutes in his entire life.

And if she had died, it would have been all his fault, for not being able to protect her. She was a bright light in this world full of darkness and she would have faded out to save someone as tainted in blood and shadows as Gajeel.  

Levy’s eyes looked at him with concern for his pain and it was all that was needed to tear down the last thread of his tough exterior. He knelt beside her bed and caressed her cheek with so much tenderness that was so foreign for someone as rough as Gajeel while he let the tears stream down his face.

“Don’t ya ever-! You-! I won’t-!” He growled in frustration when words were replaced by sobs and hiccups but he wasn’t able to control anymore the wave of emotions that overcame his heart.

He closed his eyes trying to get a hold of his feelings. Wetness on his hand, the one that was caressing Levy’s cheek, had him snapping his eyes open and looking at her immediately with the utmost attention.

Levy was looking at him with such tenderness and love in her gaze as thin tears streamed down her porcelain face. She saw how broken and vulnerable Gajeel was at the moment. The heartache and fear in him were in plain sight now that his tough facade had faded into oblivion.

Levy understood that his angry demeanor moments ago had been his way of dealing with how close he had been to lose her forever. The big fearless iron dragon slayer stood there as a broken man who almost lost all that was precious to him in this world.

She agreed with him in how stupid she had been. Her actions had caused the man she loved so much pain that Levy scolded herself for ever putting him in that position. But she knew that, if the situation should arise, she would do it again. She wouldn’t hesitate to risk her life for the man she loved. But next time, she would make sure to not be so reckless.

She leaned into his touch as much as she could and a small tired smile graced her features.

I’m sorry.

A new wave of tears came to Gajeel’s eyes as he leaned forward to press his forehead against Levy’s. He hugged her, ever so gently to not hurt her, but strongly enough to reassure his heart that she was still here with him. And nothing, if he had any say into the matter, nothing will take her away from him ever again.

Thanks for reading! Like, comment, reblog, use cute tags or GIFs if you liked the story!

WTF (Where’s The Food?)

[moreracquetball]

oh my GOD that idea that you just mentioned about the fan response??? would literally die for that wtf and tbh i just want to see a lot of jason and whizzer interacting because i Always live for that

Media/Fans

the media finds out about them before they’re even like officially dating. Somehow one lucky paparazzi person that is on like stealth mode gets a picture of a tender moment when Marvin and Whizzer are out together somewhere. In the picture, Marvin is like brushing an eyelash off of Whizzer’s cheek or holding his hand or doing something really sappy (basically trying to communicate to an emotionally-stunted Whizzer that hey sleeping together is cool and all, but I want to actually date you, you know). Well, the news BLOWS UP with headlines like ‘Whizzer Brown’s Mystery Man’ and ‘Playboy baseball player settling down?’ and everyone scrambles to find out just who Marvin is. Once they find out that Marvin is a divorced dad, news outlets like TMZ are flooded with headlines like (thanks to @a-lesbian-from-next-door-too for this GEM of a headline) WHIZZER BROWN WITH DILF???

Whizzer Brown secret boyfriend is the most searched thing on Google that day.

All production in the tabloid industries stops as editors bark for their reporters to dig up more on this story. Journalists scramble for any bit of info they can get on Marvin.

And here comes disastrously incorrect articles like:

Marvin was actually still married when he and Whizzer started “dating.” Whizzer was the cause of his divorce.

Marvin is like 15 years older than Whizzer and is basically using Whizzer for his money.

Marvin has been Whizzer’s secret boyfriend (HUSBAND???) for over ten years now and it’s been kept well hushed hushed secret bc Whizzer has built a brand out of Gay Baseball Player/Playboy.

Jason is Marvin and Whizzer’s adopted child.

CONSPIRACY THEORY: Marvin and Whizzer are not actually together at all. Marvin is not even gay! Whizzer just wanted to rebrand himself from “player on and off the field” and so hired Marvin to be his fake boyfriend (pretending to be “settling down”). (this prompts a startled Marvin to exclaim, “How could anyone think I was straight???” to which Whizzer dead-panned responded, “Honey, no self-respecting gay man dresses like that.”

Also consider the TMZ panel (also credit to @a-lesbian-from-next-door-too for this exchange, too)

“Marvin? What kinda name is Marvin?”

“I know. It’s such an old man’s name!”

“It’s like he was born a middle-aged dad, you know?”

“Uh, guys, Whizzer is a pretty stupid name, too. When you think about it. I mean, who names their kid Whizzer?”

“No one asked you, Brent.”

“Yeah, Brent. Shut the fuck up.”

Marvin finds out about the news bc he goes to work the next morning and some asshole coworker has taped all the headlines around his desk (the DILF headline is blown up and taped over his entire desk).

Marvin is obv pissed and lowkey anxious bc he doesn’t want this sort of attention to negatively affect him or (GOD FORBID) Jason. Whizzer himself is just a little annoyed and sees that Marvin is upset, so he tries to like make the issue go away by tweeting out: “tfw ur out with one of ur booty calls and ppl think that just bc he held ur hand u two are getting married’. And uhh, this makes the media die down but Marvin gets more upset bc hey asshole I think I’m falling in love with you but apparently I’m still just one of your booty calls, huh? And Whizzer gets mad bc Marvin is mad and he just tried to make Marvin less mad, and angst angst angst.

When they do get together, Whizzer posts a picture on Instagram of the two of them with the caption 'tfw you fall in love with one of your booty calls’. And the Internet just kinda explodes.

Fans are a little mixed. On one hand, they’re happy that Whizzer seems to be happy. On another, they’re terrified that a relationship will somehow hurt Whizzer’s playing. They then shut the fuck up when Whizzer plays the most vicious game of his entire career and just throws the best pitches and just basically almost single-handedly eviscerates the other team. At the press conference, people ask what’s up with Whizzer’s playing, and one of Whizzer’s team members just sorta smirks and answers for him, “He has a lot of pent up tension and aggression. He hasn’t seen his boyfriend in like a month [bc it’s the peak of the season and they’ve had to move around a lot to different cities and such]." 

Guys guys guys guys, I cannot begin to describe just how i c o n i c Marvin becomes so quickly. 

Because once they’re like “official,” Whizzer spams his instagram account with Marvin - Marvin in a new gifted Red Sox jersey while Jason (in his decked out Yankees uniform) glares mockingly at him; at the park during a crisp fall afternoon, Marvin breathless and red-faced and caught mid-laugh; Marvin comically but dead-seriously holding a baseball bat with a stance and grip that makes Whizzer and all baseball fans around the world weep; Marvin Jason and Whizzer, in a cheesy selfie after a really tough game; a picture of Marvin’s back as the man is hunched over an oven (this one has the caption “I love when a man puts the steak in ;) ” ); a particularly artsy one with a black and white filter, with Marvin (asleep, hair mussed, naked but only his bare arms, shoulders, and upper back is not obscured by the white sheets) asleep in their bed. The fans lose their minds over these pictures, along with the little tibits of info/stories that Whizzer shares when prompted about what a dorky/lame/baseball-hating/he-writes-me-poetry-literally-what-a-fucking-nerd that his new boyfriend is. 

When tweets and questions about Marvin keep buzzing Whizzer, Whizzer kindly asks (not forces, Jeez, Marv, don’t make it sound like I held a gun to your back) that Marvin get his own instagram/twitter accounts so they can just fawn over Marvin directly and leave Whizzer the hell alone to answer questions about baseball and photography and not about his relationship every fucking five minutes

This turns out to be a mistake. Marvin amasses ten thousand followers in six months. The guy barely even posts about Whizzer himself. He posts about broadway reviews and retweets funny cat pictures and every once in awhile, he posts partiuclarly needling things like how chess is better than baseball and he tags and @’s Whizzer in all of them. And everyone??? Loves it??? Whizzer is a little jealous at how people fawn over Marvin?? Like where’s some Whizzer love??? Whizzer is still the twunk that everyone loves, right???

Marvin is slowly accepted by the baseball wives. They’re catty and cliquish and they make Marvin’s life a living hell those first few months, but when Marvin does not take their shit and keeps pushing back, they grow to a mutual understanding that soon turns into begrudged respect that eventually turns into tentative friendship that eventually much much later turns into “if you dare utter one mean word or look at Marvin the wrong way, I will slit your throat with my sharpened, manicured, pastel pink-painted nails.” Whizzer shares one picture on his insta of Marvin with the baseball wives, with a glass of champagne in his hand and looking like he’s talking shit and the other baseball wives are laughing and eating this shit up, and he captions it: I think my boyfriend joined a cult.

The media as a whole leaves the two alone after they turn out to be just a regular couple and not that interesting?? EXCEPT EXCEPT EXCEPT (see next bullet point)

Okay, so Marvin hates baseball, right? This is established. This is well known. This is Fact. Well, after they become like “official” and the media now knows who Marvin is, news outlets start to attack him/make fun of him/crucify him for looking bored at Whizzer’s baseball games. Like he’ll have his phone out or he’ll have his chin propped up with his hand as if trying to combat sleepiness and sometimes he brings like a magazine to read and he always has that bored, vaguely pained “I do not want to be here right now” look on his face. And any time that the Red Sox makes a good play or gets a homerun, it’s clear that he’s been spacing out bc whenever the people around him start cheering, he likes jumps and does that weak, wide-eyed “Idk what just happened and i kinda want death right now but I am being supportive” clap (one time, he zoned out and Whizzer’s opposing team got a homerun, and Marvin just started meekly clapping bc he heard the crowd doing it and ESPN and TMZ and all the news outlets had a field day of making fun of him).

And the media??? is like “why are you not supporting your partner? You embarrass him by looking so bored. Can’t you learn to love the sport if you love him??” and being really bitchy about it. And Whizzer gets pissed and so goes on air during a press conference - when some smart-ass reporter tries to make a barb about Marvin looking bored and in pain - and says really bitchily, “Guys, Marvin just doesn’t like baseball, okay? Yeah, that makes him an idiot - because baseball is incredible - but it doesn’t make him a bad partner. I don’t expect him to love the things that I love. I like that we’re different, you know? That makes him less boring. Like, he goes to my games even though he hates baseball. That is being supportive. Like fucking hell, guys, I’m with him because he makes me laugh and has a great ass - not because he’s some super baseball fan.” CUE MIC DROP.

And yeah, there are homophobic reactions to the relationship. Facebook groups dedicated to it. Marvin gets hate mail and one time got like yelled at on the street. Some of the media’s stories are overtly homophobic and overly crass. It’s 2017, sure, but there are still idiots out there.

Marvin and Whizzer don’t let the attention - good or bad - get to them. They just keep being in love and posting overly sappy instagram posts about their anniversaries and poking fun at each other on twitter and the attention never breaks them.

I will posts Jason specific headcanons later but like dang, this took a lot out of me bc I have a lot of FEELINGS and if you have more headcanons about this topic, reblog and add your own bc I’m curious how you feel the media/fans would take this.

[ramblinganthropologist]

Inkjournal Day 3 - Have a Drink

Summary: When the going gets tough, the tough use virulent walking bomb. Only... we’re pretty sure he’s not supposed to be able to do that. WTF? Word count: 1581

---

The funny thing about being between a rock and a hard place is that you rarely notice you're there until your back is getting stabbed by a boulder.

Kaaras' shoulder was broken badly, and he grit his teeth against the pain as he ducked behind a rock. In front of him, the Iron Bull lay prone, unmoving. He had been that way for a few minutes now, and his posture matched Dorian's. Both of them had been knocked out by the force in front of them.

Whoever had forgotten to warn them about the giant in the Emerald Graves was going to catch hell from him later if they got out of it alive.

“Never thought we'd wind up dying in the graves of our ancestors. There's gotta be irony there.”

Akri was nearby, grinning despite the broken ribs that were making blood trickle down his mouth. He was holding his stomach with one hand and clutched his short staff in the other. Both were trembling, and it was doubtful he had more than two good spells left in him.

Kaaras managed a grim smile as he nodded. “Too bad Jackel's not here to point it out, huh?”

She was back at the base camp, sleeping off a broken leg from having fallen into a badger warren. Though she had considered it a bit of bad luck, both brothers realized now that perhaps she was in the best position of any of them.

Maybe if they survived, they could tell her that themselves.

“Man, I regret never learning some healing magic.” Akri winced as he prodded his side. “That's at least two broken ribs.”

It got worse, as Kaaras looked to their scant supply of healing potions. All that remained were empty bottles and a faint stain where one had leaked out earlier. Maybe that could have been their salvation as they looked towards the giant.

“How many lyrium potions do we have left?”

There was relief there. Tucked away, two last potions glowed bright blue in the darkness of his bag. Two last shots for a mage to try and take the giant down. While it wasn't enough to heal them, it might just work.

Kaaras dug one out, wincing as his shoulder throbbed in agony. Carefully, he handed it over to his younger brother, ducking as a spray of dirt from the side reminded them the giant was still there and very much alive and angry. Primal magic, Akri's specialty, might just get it done.

However, Akri didn't drink from the bottle. Instead, he grimaced and nudged it back into his older brother's waiting hand. When he was met with a confused glance, the young man grinned as best as he could.

“Have a drink, bro. My shit's too wrecked to be a big damn hero.”

And then he coughed, blood spurting down his front as emphasis. From the look on Akri's face, he didn't have much time before he was out like Bull and Dorian. It was left now to Kaaras as he stared down at the glowing blue bottle.

Shaking his head, he took a deep breath and turned back to his younger brother. “Get as much cover as you can. I think this is going to be messy.”

And without another word, he uncapped the bottle and drained it in one gulp. Every sense was on fire, and the urge to throw it all back up was so strong that Kaaras almost doubled over. However, the lyrium did its job as he felt the energy welling up from within his usual meager reserves.

Not many people knew the Inquisitor was a mage. That was the way he liked it.

Another deep breath, and Kaaras grabbed his brother's short staff. It hummed under his hands as he ran for cover yards away. All the while, the giant nearby thrashed with its large arms. From where he was standing, he could see some blood. It was hurt.

Good.

“Creators, let this work.” Another silent prayer, and then the staff began to glow. Gritting his teeth, he broke into the best run he could with a broken shoulder. With his speed and where he was headed, there was only a small margin of error.

Up above, his target roared so loud that the ground shook. It swung its massive improvised club, a tree it had ripped out of the ground, but it missed. Kaaras let out his own cry as he swung the staff as hard as he could, feeling it through his entire body as the ironbark head made contact with the giant's ankle.

Bones cracked, but that wasn't the point. He let go of the spell he had been charging, feeling the energy leave him in a great wave. It was so strong that he was thrown back, landing hard against a tree with a dull thud. However, he managed a pained grin as he looked over.

The giant was roaring, and not because of a broken ankle. By now, it was feeling the energy burning it from the inside, turning it into one giant bomb ready to go off. It just needed the finishing touch, and then it would all be over.

For one last time, Kaaras raised the borrowed staff. Weak energy made it turn white once again. With all the will left in him, he let it go. A purple bolt of energy struck his target somewhere in the knee, setting off the reaction from his previous spell.

“Now stay down.”

---

“I'm going out there!”

“Lady Lavellan, you have to stay here!”

Jackel grimaced as she pushed past an Inquisition agent. Her still tender leg protested every movement, but she was already armored up. When everything was over, she was going to give Kaaras and Akri one hell of a piece of her mind for leaving her behind.

“Those idiots are going to die without me! We can fix my leg later!”

“The Inquisitor told us to keep you-”

Words were drowned out by a massive explosion somewhere to the west of the camp. It shook the trees around them, sending loose branches toppling to the ground. Jackel hit the ground as well, her shaky balance overpowered by the unsteady soil she stood on.

Scouts around her geared up to check it out, some of them with bottles of healing potions should the blast have caught the forward party in it. However, she just sat there, staring at where the burst of bright light had just started to fade.

“Fuck... what happened out there if he did it?”

Grimacing, she stood to make it out of camp. This was going to take a lot explaining, and if her fears were correct, she would need to be the one to do it. The piece of her mind got upgraded to a full blown ass kicking as she limped down the path. Though, when she was going to be able to kick was another story altogether.

---

It was hours later that they were all reunited. Kaaras' shoulder had been set and healed, while his concussion and sore back had been seen to. Out of the four, he was the least injured, and so he sat by the fire waiting to hear the good news that the healer had finished with his friends.

A fist came from the darkness and pounded him straight in his recently healed arm. Wincing, Kaaras held up his good hand to avoid anymore blows. By chance, he caught Jackel's small fist in his palm just as it was about to slam again.

“What the fuck, Kaas?!”

She plopped down next to him, fit to be tied. Her leg was bandaged, with strict orders not to run out of camp again if she wanted to keep it. Honestly, he doubted she would listen to healer's orders for more than a day. After that, all bets were off.

Jackel wasn't finished in her tirade, of course. “I wake up, you're gone, and then the whole fucking forest explodes? Somebody could've seen you!”

“Dorian and Bull were knocked out. The only one there awake was Akri, and he's not exactly telling anyone.” Kaaras winced as he rubbed his arm. “If I hadn't done it, we would've died.”

He knew that well enough without a healer. His team had been in such a bad state that he could've sworn he'd heard Falon'Din swooping in. Now he was at bay for the moment, and they could all catch their breath.

It appeased his cousin somewhat, but she still pouted. “Next time don't go fighting a giant without me, ok?”

A tired smile stretched across Kaaras' face as he patted her on the head. “Sure, I'll drag you along next time. Maybe you can shake your broken limbs at it.”

And then he was dodging again, but nothing was serious. A levity had returned for the moment, where before there had only been the heavy feeling he always got after consuming lyrium. No doubt he would be sick as a dog in the morning, but for now he could handle it.

Though, she was right. He was lucky no one had seen or thought to ask questions. In the future, he would need to be even more careful. But that was for another time. Right then, his biggest problem was not getting beat up by his cousin.

That would've been insult to injury.

[tactickle]

Your blog is so AWESOME OMG! I love you sooooo much ;) Can you write more about ticklish Corazon and Doffy?

of courseeeee! 💕 my boys both of em my sons.

honestly the first thing you gotta know is doffy is corazon’s personal tickle monster. since they were kids he knew every single tickle spot cora ever had. what’s the point in being the big brother if you can sit on your 26 year old 9’ 7" little brother and tickle the snot out of him just for kicks.

there’s no way doffy didn’t try to tickle him when they got older like i’m biased obviously but doffy is like wtf you can’t speak anymore? and he’d think like well, let’s tickle him and see that’s gotta get him to talk. he doesn’t blow his cover though, cause he spends all day not talking and his voice is weak and raspy when he does cause you gotta use your voice to keep it y'know. so being forced to laugh comes out as more of a squeaky toy noise. so air comes out of his lungs just not in a giggle, just a squeal.

and cora was really really really ticklish as a kid and he got poked practically every day by either his mom, dad, or doffy. at 26, the last time he’d been tickled was a long time back. so his belly is nice, untouched, and just as tender. it’s not like he’s really that embarrassed over it, but just a little. he knew for sure he’d never get over being so ticklish though. he just prayed doffy would never try. and cora knew (HE THOUGHT OKAY) doffy would never hurt him, just tickling wasn’t hurting, so he feared doffy getting his fingers all over him.

so doffy would sneak up on the poor guy and like close the door behind him. CORAZON IS SWEATING. like hello baby brother and lightly puts a hand on his shoulder super close to an old tickle spot on his neck and cora is like ohhhhh no ohhh fuck oh no. doffy is all /over exaggerated sigh/ remember, back then… when we used to be respected as the gods we are, and i would… i dunno… tickle you all the time…? and it’s SO THREATENING and the word tickle was punctuated with a squeeze to his soft flanks. and HE MAKES this strangled wheeze noise cause he lost his voice from not using it. and doffy has the most evil smile on his face like ah you do remember.

corazon is fucking scrambling like THIS CAN’T BE HAPPENING. but honestly he’s surprised doffy DIDN’T try and tickle him all this time. but now it’s happening and seriously, cora is glad okay, deep in his heart he believes doffy can be a good person and this is one of those times. and also, he fucking loves being babied, this is something he’s a little embarrassed to admit but he has a soft spot for all things goofy and silly and he loves being tickled okay. he loves it, it makes him laugh, it makes him smile, he looooves it.

but doffy isn’t wasting any time in dragging corazon down to the floor. also a little secret, doffy is enjoying this. it’s a genuine moment they’re having. also also, his favorite thing ever was tickling the snot out of cora anyways. and oh god is cora struggling, doffy isn’t even using his devil fruit powers and he’s being destroyed anyways. doffy has an easy time holding cora down, while he pokes and prods around cora’s midsection with those devilish fingers of his.

corazon’s laugh is coming out as a MESS it’s like doffy is constantly crushing a squeaky toy beneath his foot. and he’s obviously not teasing cora’s belly just yet and cora knows it cause doffy is saving the killer for last. so for now, he’s doing rapid fire poking which is making cora absolutely convulse with squeals. he’s constantly jerking around and trying to sit up but he can’t. he honestly didn’t think he’d be MORE ticklish after these years but surprise surprise.

doffy actually isn’t teasing too much but then he decides to finally give his tum some attention. he doesn’t even poke him yet he just kinda goes “hey corazon, is your stomach still ticklish? i wonder” and he still doesn’t try and tickle him just yet cause he purposely gives cora time to try and escape. i mean, he keeps denying all chances to get away but he just lets cora desperately try for a little. for his amusement. and lowkey for cora too cause he knows damn well cora loved to try and run and make the chase intense and silly.

and doffy says yes, definitely still ticklish based on how you’re scuttling like a cornered animal, what a jerk oh my god. cora is already choking. and honestly considering blowing his cover to scream mercy. but his voice would be too hoarse anyways.

finally doffy gives cora’s belly a lot of soft pinches, more like just squishing it instead of anything sharp or painful. and that’s it, now cora stopped scrambling on the ground and is kinda just a lump with one arm thrown over his face and the other hand slowly and pathetically trying to grab at his big bro’s evil tickle fingers.

and for the first time in a while he’s starting to feel like a kid again. it’s kinda embarrassing, considering his cheeks are red cause of silent giggles at this point and he’s smiling ear to ear. by god like, he was confident in his own strength like he’d become a marine and he was legit. but.. he forgot about the dreadful tickles.

doffy on the other hand, doesn’t really tease anymore, so no nostalgia in that sense. i mean, he couldn’t help but make sure to mention cora’s tummy, though. other than that, nothing intense. and honestly, doffy won’t do raspberries anymore, too cutesy and mortifying for himself to indulge in. can’t ruin that rep, but tickling the hell outta little rosinante won’t hurt. but it’s obvious he’s nonverbally teasing cause he’ll pinch where cora’s softest and play with that for a while. just cause he knows it’ll embarrass him.

he’ll stop when cora stops flailing real bad cause that’s usually when he’s tired himself out. and doffy kinda feels the embarrassment for himself set in after like he only wanted to try and tickle him to see if he’d speak again but? he got so out of hand and the tickles lasted forever and he’s kinda like okay shit i’m going soft. so he’s so awkward all of a sudden like gets up, coughs, dusts himself off. and corazon DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO EITHER HE’S JUST KINDA staring at his brother, then looking at the floor, then maybe the clock.

doffy goes “.......uh... d-dinner’s gonna be early tonight so uh.... yeah wash up before then.. //coughs” and cora just nods slowly and doffy flat out leaves and probably runs off to his own room to think for the next 35 min.

dud e this got real long but....... i really love them.. BUT tickles are so unpractical when they’re older but.. i can’t help but write it.. cause it’s the cutest when they’re older i just.. can’t stop MYSELF. but sadly then, they were so distant and kinda awkward so when it’s over they’re both like //UNCOMFORTABLE but honestly that makes it funny. i hope you liked it and thank you for the request!! ❤

[theskyexists]

series 10 finale

can i just say- that thing, that they do in series ten, that thing where

the universe rhymes and if you really listen, you can hear its music?

that’s some good shit

‘what does he call you? companions? pets? SH-nacks?’ god michelle gomez is just! so! good!

‘time lords are friends with each other dear, everything else is cradle-snatching’ pfftjlkdjsfkalkds she’s got perhaps...a point? (not really, but)

‘these are my disposables, exposition and comic relief’ FULJSDFJSDFJ MOFFAT YOU he really went there. HE REALLY WENT THERE HALJSDKD

‘we’re not functions’ ‘darling those are genders’

ok????? hahahahahaha

wow, doctor who meta dslafldk and then a dab

‘is this the emotion that you humans call...spanking?’

‘are you human’ ‘oh don’t be a bitch’ ljsdldsajlfjlkdf (moffat got so surprisingly woke that he knows exactly what he can have her say, damn. and michelle’s delivery what the hell so good hahaha)

oh no. no no no no. this is the moment she gets shot huh? what. no i. why do the Doctor’s companions in moffat’s era always die of being bravely stupid? (well..clara) like, not stupidly brave, but bravely stupid? i don’t like that narrative

why did Bill say that???? like i don’t get it.

jump in front of her??????? why. does he not stand in front of the damn gun?? why does he walk past it? why? dude?? now i understand why Thirteen keeps saying ‘STAY BEHIND ME, BEHIND ME’ always catching bombs to the face and shit.

those were some great flashbacks peppered in. ‘she scares me’ yeah well the Doctor was the one who fucked up here. he wasn’t fast enough. he didn’t reach hard enough for the right card in the pack.....but there was another time lord there - maybe she reached harder.

‘assumption!’ ‘deduction!’ ‘hope!’ ‘faith!’ ‘idiot!’ ‘always!’

this is the thing. like, the Doctor just lets her get shot and lets her get taken away - it’s barely believable.

yeah the crew went down, time dilation, they procreated, somehow they grew some shitty cybermen. (why does human society keep producing them?). YUP i called it.

365000 days, a hundred thousand years. yoikes. but if they have such fast lifts why is it a problem? and why go up to get the humans (yeah cybermen always wanna make more) i think knowing moffat we won’t really get an answer to these essential plot-driving questions

ohhh that’s chilling huh. makes you think they got some more anaesthetic but they’re still pressing the button - it just doesn’t make any noise any more.

but it’s hard to hear such pain.

and SUDDENLY, the theatre broadens - it seemed like just a part of the ship - narrow - but then we see the whole colony ship populated and a dystopia, this hospital just a building in a landscape. very cool.

How does the Doctor not realise that he hasn’t got TIME for explanations??? Bill is either dead or DYING RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE’S WASTING TIME.

i do love this concept always have and it is executed well here - but look. the Doctor is written as very dumb to make it so.

‘how many more years’ YEARS????? oh my god. why does she close the window? interesting

fuckin bullshit. they never returned because time went slow for them. he KNOWS this, so why does he think it’s because the people were ‘weak’? he knows she came from command, that it’s possible to go up, because they took her! the conversion is only controlling her. so does she buy it? (I do like this guy, but he’s probably evil)

how has Bill remained SANE? years of this. years of this??? what an exceptionally resilient person.

yeah we’re not getting an explanation for why these people uh managed to go up and take her down huh? except ‘evil villain lied to everybody’ i think. oh well that can be satisfactory

wait. is he the master? is he the MASTER??? i mean i was considering it but.

he spent like 10 years living with Bill and it didn’t make a dent in his psychopathy hmmm. so the explanation is that the Master has taken over and wanted to fuck over the Doctor just for laughs. lol

why scarecrow them??? xD sometimes these aesthetics make zero sense in real life. do love how they went back to : look how these settlers went up to the solar farm! living a lovely life except they’re being attacked by cybermen.

so what im learning from moffat’s writing is - push your concept first thing you can - something incongruous - and something familiar to those familiar with the work.

woah that gloating wasn’t quite long enough for teh Doctor to have a win. i thought the Masters were having him on. (fascinating though, that he attributes the emergence of cybermen not to the Master’s presence but simply to the humans - and the Master’s responses prove him right. do feel like he messed with it all though...)

‘there’s only ever been one way to stop that many cybermen. me’ hmmmm hmmm, i always dislike the Doctor boasting like this. just pride. though i would welcome it for thirteen, just a couple of times.

‘i’m in two minds - fortunately the other one’s unconscious.’ hah

we gotta cut away from this because we don’t know how this unwieldy Bill cyberman got the Doctor into the ship.

The Master constantly veers between almost killing the Doctor and then kinda deciding not to because they’re having so much fun or caring about their complex relationship a bit too stupidly much. lotta storytelling packed into this ep, bit unwieldy.

great switch, making Bill look human again as we switch to her pov

where the FUCK did the Doctor get jelly babies

this is a beautiful scene, but also, goddamn, they made her into a cyberman and now she can’t be angry any more?? i mean that’s not very woke

they didn’t allow bill the opportunity to hit the Master?? AGAIN?? Bill should have been able to hit the Doctor AND the Master this season for the cruelty they showed her!!

I do think the Master is THE character for Moffat because all of the plot bullshit can be explained as: the Master is just that dramatic. like, why wait with Bill’s conversion until the pain part was developed and the Doctor would be coming down? could have converted her right there. and he only kept her around to rub it in the Doctor’s face. like all of that - somehow explained by what a particular person they are.

redirection, the cryptic, it’s one of the Doctor’s main tools for hope. the beyond, the in-between, that which we cannot yet know, may never know - that’s flux babey, that’s hope.

but ya can’t un-call the lifts? what. they won’t have ‘thousands’ of years if you run straight at the TARDIS.

so im not sure why they had time to build a weapon’s grade cyberman but not uh time to send lots and lots of them up?

AND NOW THEY’RE JUST GOING TO BURST THROUGH??? THE FUCKIN SHIP? xD ahahahaha why???

i do love how you SEE the Master use make-up while male. fuck gender roles! I do love the Masters’ dynamics hahaha

the Doctor always makes time for fuckin - explanations. the cybermen are coming up but WHATEVER!

that Master on Master kill was honestly hella tender and i loved it.

‘can’t find the words’

Bill was glad that her space granddad knew she was a lesbian- ha. somehow that....how did Moffat write that? seems uniquely gay but maybe he’s just drawing on - yeah gotta make sure that this time it is NOT read as romance.

NOOOOOO!!!!!! NO!!!!! MISSY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so...are they just not evacuating teh adults? like was it so hard to get them adult actors in the shot a few times too??? like wtf these kids aren’t like: MY PARENTS!!! before they blow it up? before the blow up a WHOLE countryside?

he didn’t get blown to pieces? fuckin bullshit lol

but BILL survived? enough to walk. I KNOW it’s for drama but it’s just lol

ok but Heather is SO CUTE HOLY FUCKIN SHIT. i don;t understand how this freak of sentient oil puddle got to create an immortal ethereal being - but WHAT EVS. (I can pilot anything, even you.  what a come on lol)

where there’s tears, there’s hope, yes but you also gave him a tear huh, as a puddle-being, so you can track him hmmm

all the flashbacks to modern companions!!! i loved that!

i actually think the christmas special kind of ruins this real good finale!

i am gonna miss Missy, Michell Gomez did something truly incredible there. but i also liked the return of Simm!Master, and i loved their chemistry.

anyway i genuinely think this was a good finale. very complex, and very moffat. but mostly his strong writing, very little of his shitty tics.

GOOD STUFF!!

meanwhile cybermen are still coming up the colony ship converting people on every deck though, so that’s unfortunate.

[winterscribe]

Vampire Hunter D Fanfic

I was inspired by THIS : http://kokoko-sir.tumblr.com/post/162672980752. awesome piece of @kokoko-sir ‘s art and asked permission to post this little ficlet. (Forgot to add the link and mobile wont let me edit in a hyperlink) Of course it turned into a bit of a beast (3044 words wtf?) but I couldn’t help it, somebody needed to comfort that poor child, even if I had to use time travel shenanigans so my OC Avaleara (his wife) could do it. Also I might come back through in a few days for some minor edits, but for now I’ve been staring at it too long to catch any typos. I hope you all enjoy!

I’m putting under a read more cuz DAMN this got three times as long as I thought it would.

D ran as fast as he could, scrambling up desperately every time he tripped. Tears slipped out as a stray branch split his lip, stinging the cut around his eye he’d already gotten from the angry villagers. He forced himself to keep going despite the pain from his beating and the burning in his lungs. Humans couldn’t follow as fast, but if he stopped to rest too soon or too long they would eventually catch up.

An hour passed before he finally collapsed in a trembling heap, every inch of him aching. The broken ribs from a farmer’s boot had healed a bit, but while they weren’t broken anymore, they were still badly bruised. There were other cuts and bruises all over him, and they likely wouldn’t heal much further without him drinking anything. Hand used up too much energy stitching together his bones to worry about such minor annoyances. Still they throbbed and ached as D curled up into a ball on the forest floor, trying not to let anymore tears fall. Not only were they a useless sign of weakness but they hurt right now. Besides that they wouldn’t change that the farmer hadn’t seen a lost child but a monster to be killed, and had called backup to help do the deed.

D staggered to his feet. He had to keep moving. Even if he’d managed to go far enough the humans wouldn’t catch up for days, there were other things out here. While he was trained enough to handle minor beasts, the frontier was full of monsters that were dangerous enough to annoy even Father. D wouldn’t stand a chance if he ran into one of those. That, and he needed to get out of this forest so he could use the stars to navigate home.

“Hey kid, you should call your d-” D idly smashed Hand to shut him up.

“I’m fine.” No, he wasn’t but dad had dropped him on his own, claiming it was a test. D wasn’t sure exactly what was being tested, but he’s pretty sure calling for help would mean failing. In which case calling for help didn’t mean things wouldn’t go from bad to worse. Besides… if he could make it seem like he got his wounds in the forest, father wouldn’t go back to the village. Father wouldn’t stop at the bastards that attacked a lost child, he’d wipe out every single person, most of whom had no idea D had even been there. D didn’t want that much innocent blood on his hands.

D’s tired feet tripped over a protruding root. This time as he fell, there was the strangest sensation, a tingling warmth, then a flash of light blinded him for an instant before he caught himself. When he could see again, it wasn’t the dark, root and leaf covered forest floor under his hands, but a sunlit paved path. Quickly he scrambled up and tried not to show his shock. The- mutant? Monster? Being? - in front of him was a massive wall of muscle, towering to a height that rivaled Father’s. It's arms covered in scars, and the two short swords at its hip would make it seem intimidating even without the thick horns and inhuman face.

D looked up and up and hoped like hell it couldn’t smell fear.   

POV Switch

Avaleara stared down at the tiny child in front of her. She’d seen a lot of shit in her life, but even she was a little thrown by a tiny version of her husband suddenly taking his place. One that was clearly injured - a fact that had rage filling her almost as quickly as panic. She tamped down on both quickly and firmly, briefly checked the telepathic bond she shared with D  (it hadn’t snapped so much as a thick fuzzy veil was between them. Odd and uncomfortable, but suggested he was aliveish) and decided that figuring out whatever bullshit fuckery this was needed to wait. Right now there is a child in front of her, hurt and trying to hide his fear. While she’d processed this in a few seconds, if she took much longer he’d notice.

Crouching down so she wouldn’t tower over the poor kid, Avaleara spoke as softly as her rough voice would allow, “Hello Little One.” D’s flinch was almost imperceptible, but it broke Avaleara’s heart as much as the bloody scrapes on his face. “I won’t hurt you.” The ancient Romanian was strange on her tongue. Adult D didn’t use it often since it brought back too many childhood memories, but it was the only language she shared with child D. Any other frontier languages she knew were evolved thousands of years beyond what little D would understand. Yet it didn’t reassure him as she’d hoped, just made him stand even straighter.

“I assume you’re another part of father’s test.” No child’s voice should be that flat. Even worse was the fear little D hadn’t quite learned to completely hide. Dracula could burn in hell for eternity and it wouldn’t be enough.

“No, I’m not part of any test.” Gah, her voice was far too rough to soothe any Earth child, but she couldn’t help that. Quickly considering what to tell him, Avaleara realized that with any version of D, straightforward honesty was best. Even as a child he’d be too intelligent to swallow any lie she came up with. “I’m not sure what exactly is going on. All I know right now is that I was just speaking with the older you, then suddenly here you are as a child.”

D’s little face showed his skepticism. It would be endearing if it didn’t show how young he’d learned mistrust. Avaleara wanted to rip Dracula apart all over again, but she controlled her rage so it wouldn’t frighten D more.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” She told him again, firmly. When he didn’t respond, she sighed. “Do you mind if I look at those cuts? Are you hurt anywhere else?”

“I’m fine. It’ll heal soon enough.” There was no doubt in his voice. D had already been injured enough to know. D couldn’t be more than 6 or 7, yet he had already been injured enough to know for sure how long it would take. Not for the first time, Avaleara was tempted to resurrect Dracula just to kill him again more slowly.  

“I’d still like to make sure. Please?”

“Ok.” D’s voice was quiet and resigned, but at least he let her help him. It had taken years for Adult D to trust her enough for that.

Avaleara reached out and gently pulled D’s hair back. The cut was healing quickly, but there was enough dirt mixed in that Avaleara wanted to wash it. She wasn’t sure how great his healing was this young, but the fact that such a little cut hadn’t healed already meant it was definitely slower. No sense risking infection if D wasn’t powerful enough to prevent it yet. D stared at her as she took out a rag and pulled water from the air to make it damp. He flinched when she reached for him, staring at the rag. “It’s ok.” Hopefully he wouldn’t make her explain, by the time she finished the science talk, the cut would have healed completely, possibly sealing the bits of rock and dirt inside.

Luckily Little D seemed more determined to be brave than suspicious. He shifted closer and gave her a look that was clearly get on with it. Avaleara resisted the urge to smile at the adorableness, and reached out again.

D’s eyes widened slightly at the warmth as Avaleara gently wiped the cuts around his eye, exposing the bruising underneath. Yet again she repressed the sheer rage that welled up.  She focused on the familiar action of cleaning a child’s face to help keep her calm. Keeping her movements gentle and slow, she moved onto D’s split lip. By the gods all she wanted to do was cradle him in her arms. None of their children had looked so human, but all the same she couldn’t look at this D and not see them. She ached to comfort him the way she would any of them, but D was already so used to cruelty she doubted he’d react well.

Finished with his face, Avaleara rocked back on her heels and rinsed the rag as she contemplated how to convince him to let her check his other injuries. She could see at least another few scrapes on his arms, and his breathing was shallow. At first she’d thought that was fear, but it might not be and she was familiar enough with chest injuries to be concerned.

“Who are you?” At least confusion replaced the fear in his voice as D calmed, though he still watched her warily.

“My name is Avaleara and I’m someone who cares about you. I’ll keep you safe while we figure out what’s going on. I promise.” She held out her small finger in the human tradition Takashi had taught her as children. D hesitated before copying her and she wrapped her finger around his. Careful not to split her scar and make it bleed, Avaleara grinned as wide as she could.

POV Switch

D had no idea what to make of the strange being crouched before him. While he still hadn’t completely ruled out it being part of father’s test, they were strangely gentle. Nothing associated with Father was gentle. The usual method of dealing with D’s injuries was throwing a blood pack or a body at him to drain. D even had a few hazy memories of Father’s wrist pressed to his mouth, but in those he was too far gone in pain to ever be sure it wasn’t just a dream. Never had anyone gently wiped away the blood, calm and tender despite obvious flickers of anger. Even their anger was strange. Father raged when he was damaged by anyone else, but it was half at D for not being strong enough and half rage that someone dared to challenge father’s edict that D not be harmed. Except here D got the impression this Avaleara was more angry at whoever hurt him, for him.

"You never answered me little one. Are you hurt anywhere else?"

D's ribs still ached, his hands had been shredded by many falls, his arm was still bleeding sluggishly where bone had pierced his skin, and everywhere else ached from his long run. But could he trust Avaleara not to hurt him further for admitting it? His caretakers sometimes lulled him into admitting weakness then punished him for it, would this be different?

Avaleara sighed again, "I can tell you're hurt in at least a few other places. I don't want to push you, but I'm worried. Please let me help you. I promise, I'll keep you safe. I'm hoping no bones need set, but if they do I'll be as quick and gentle as possible.”

"I took care of his bones. He'll heal fine enough on his own." Hand finally spoke up. "He just needs rest." For D's ears alone Hand added, "And some human blood, but I don't thi- ack"

"D may heal fine enough on his own but he shouldn't have to damnit." Avaleara was glaring at his hand, irritation but no surprise on their face. They looked back at D, "I'd still like to look after your other wounds. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable. If you agree with Left Hand I'll back off." Looking around, they added, "We should get indoors first, or at least get out of the middle of the road. There's a rest house a short ways ahead we should get too."

D had been too preoccupied with the immediate threat to look around, but he took the chance now. Nothing was familiar. From the sky tinted a shade of purplish blue, the trees with strange colored leaves and even stranger fruits hanging off the branches, to the grass a shade of green so dark it was almost black, everything was different. Even the paved road beneath their feet was different- while the bricks were an innocuous beige, the grout between them was a color gradient starting in the left distance a brilliant blue fading through to pink towards the right distance. What strange noble had built this place and how did he end up here?

He looked back at Avaleara, who hadn't moved while he looked around. "It's a lot to take in. I'll explain it as best as I can once we get somewhere more private. I don't like the idea of advertising Adult D has been replaced by Child D, even temporarily. There's too many enemies that would take advantage. Is it ok if we get moving?"

D nodded. Avaleara stood. They hesitated for a second before asking, “ Are you ok to walk?” D’s legs screamed that he wasn’t, but he nodded again anyway. They raised an eyebrow and sighed, but didn’t challenge him, just turned and started walking slowly. Obviously they could have gone much faster with such long legs, but their steps were measured and slow. D stubbornly stomped ahead, ignoring both the increasing pain in his legs and the long sigh from behind him. His irritation at being coddled gave him just enough courage to throw back, “So what are you anyway?”

“I’m an alien.” D stopped in his tracks and spun around. Their lopsided grin looked horrifying with the scar stretching across it. They held their hands behind their back and leaned back with a mischievous glint in their eyes.

“Stop Teasing me and Answer.”  D tried to inflect his voice with as much authority as he could, which was quite a lot. He’s the son of the Vampire King and not to be trifled with.

“I’m not teasing you. Well, only a little cuz the reaction is always priceless, but I really am an alien. Or technically you’re the alien since we’re on my homeworld, Le’ Shevare. Also since it seems to matter so much to Earthlings- I’m a female.”

D stared. They- she- sorta made sense, but it was hard to wrap his head around. First Avaleara claimed that she’d been talking to his older self before he was swapped in, now she claims he’s on another planet. Except it was plausible- while the nobility hadn’t found alien life on any of the planets they’d reached so far, certainly it was only a matter of time. If he really was switched out with his older self then it was also plausible he’d been visiting one of these colonies. Also, not only would it be plausible that technology capable of switching him would exist in the future, but also that a future enemy of his could get ahold of that technology and use it to revert him to a less powerful state. It could even make sense to turn him into a child. It would seem like the perfect opportunity to ransom him off, not realizing Dracula would kill them for the insult regardless of whether or not it could harm D in the process.

D turned around and started walking forward again as he continued thinking. He still didn’t know if he could trust Avaleara.But at the moment he had no other ideas on where to go, and if Avaleara’s story was true, even calling for his father wasn’t an option. That thought was terrifying. No matter how brutal father’s punishments got they were still a known quantity. Father wouldn’t kill him as long as he continued to be a success. Here he was completely cut off in the unknown. Of course it was still entirely possible that this was an elaborate test and Father was watching right now.

D lost his train of thought as he tripped on his own feet. Strong hands wrapped around him and kept him from hitting the ground again. His face heated up as embarrassment washed through him. Just because it had been almost two days since he’d slept was no reason to be stumbling around like this. Father had made him go much longer, and would be angry at his laziness. Tears burned at his eyes again and he rubbed them away fiercely.

“Its alright little one. I’ve got you.” Avaleara’s voice was rough as gravel and her Romanian was flavored with a strange accent. It shouldn’t have been reassuring, he shouldn’t trust her at all. He should hate how clearly she was trying to be gentle, but instead he liked it. It was a weakness brought on by exhaustion, clearly. Tears spilled over and his shoulders began to shake as he lost control. Gentle hands turned him around and he was pulled close into a strong embrace. It should have scared him how powerful the arms wrapped around him were, but instead he felt safe. It was so different to any other time his father held him. Dracula was kind on a whim, violent on another. D was used to knowing that the strong arms embracing him would eventually hurt him. This time should be no different, yet it felt so different. He buried his face into the crook of Avaleara’s neck and let go, damn the consequences. He cried and cried until he was completely drained of what little energy he had left, all the while that deep rough voice crooned softly in his ear. Avaleara gently rocked him from side to side, and as D ran out of tears he began drifting off to sleep. He stirred briefly as she picked him up, but was quickly lulled back to sleep by hand carding through his hair. He didn’t stir again until he was placed on soft furs, but again gentle hands sent him right back to sleep.

POV Switch-

Avaleara looked down at the child sleeping softly. She was still worried about her D, and needed to figure out what was going on and how to fix it. But for now she’d watch over this Little D, and give him all the love she could. When he returned she doubted he’d remember anything, but maybe, somewhere in his subconscious, a memory of gentleness could rest and help him through the long years until they met again.

[howboutdemwings]

The Morning After, first part. With @InMyOwnMhis and @BuyMyBlood.

Ambellina:

~During my foray into the black nothingness of my subconscious, time was of no consequence. I wasn't aware of where I was or what was happening to me after Rhancid had ravaged my vein with his fangs and all but sucked me dry. He could have done anything to me all he wanted and I was helpless to stop it. I knew I wasn't in the Fade, yet, I could still register the distant pain of my wounds he had given me. Whether or not I was still in his company, I hadn't a clue, but there was nothing I could do about that at the moment.

I was fine to remain trapped within my mind until I felt the warmth of something dripping down the back of my throat. Like a tap that slowly leaked into a sink basin, the liquid pooled until my natural instincts took over and I swallowed it down. Blood. Warm, delicious and desperately needed blood. Thank the Scribe Virgin herself for whomever had saw fit to aid me. The flavour was deep and rich, like a dark chocolate and it felt like a potent salve as it slid down my throat that I had worn raw from screaming for help.

Weak sucks and pulls against whatever body part had been placed at my lips happened as my body absorbed the energy afforded to me from the vein I had been so generously offered. Awareness had yet to join my reawakening party but that was quite fine by me, I didn't have the desire to divide my energy nor did I care to figure out just where I was while I took as much as I could swallow down between shallow breaths of air.

Gradually, I felt the shut down parts of my body come back to me. Senses I had lost began to register and my mind worked sluggishly to process any information it could gather. I could smell the blood I was taking in along with the scent of two males, and some kind of liquor albeit that was more muted but continued to linger in the air while hushed voices spoke. I couldn't quite make out what was being said, but relief flooded me at the realization that neither one belonged to the asshole who had tried to suck me straight into the Fade.

Despite my weakened state, my mind was the first to return back to a fiery state of anger and when my belly was full and I could feel my wounds begin the arduous task of self-repair, I called it quits on the vein, I had taken plenty enough to recover. I was forever grateful to the owner of that vein and as soon as I was physically able, I would see to it that my blood debt was paid in full and with interest. Until such time, I mentally clung to the hatred I felt at the way my plan had failed. My voice was still raspy as I spit out my malice for the male who had done this to me.~ Rhancid... piece of shit.

Jagger

-I could see what he had referenced in her improvement and I could feel my own vigor had lightened. The effects of my final tap of Haven's vein were all but negligible. Lassiter probably thought I was stone cold stupid for my perceived lack of comprehension. There were no Cliff Notes for my metric ton of baggage. Where in the hell did I even start to explain?

Fatigue set it. Mental. Physical. Spiritual.

All of the above. Check.

My moral elasticity had been tested without warm up, but even with the female looking a lot less like she was about to push some daisies, there was no euphoria that came from saving her life.

I wasn't hopeless, in fact it was somewhat miraculous I was on the edge of feeling content with what I'd done. Gave her a chance. And there was something else.

There was a foreign twist in my chest and it hit me when I thought about having done right by Lassiter. He'd returned my only possession of sentimental significance and then blew my ever loving mind. That...tenderness he'd exhibited had straight up unlocked a long forgotten door. A place I'd never ventured. The suffering for a male's approval.

Fuck.

Welcome to the Tilt-A-Whirl, mind. Only a lifetime supply of issues for a ride.

I was trying not to freak and on the verge of convincing myself I done the right thing, permanent stain in my DNA and all, when she woke. Within a few fleeting moments she confirmed in a succinct string of words my monstrous fears.

Rancid. My blood was rancid. The virulence of my blood had not been lost on a female just coming to.

Standing back up, immediately hit with a head rush, my arm shot out and my fist caught some of those feathers on the underside of Lassiter's wing. I tried to steady my watery vision to find those eyes of the angel's. I couldn't draw oxygen on my desperate inhales, but I forced out my plea.-

Heal her! Rancid... It's rancid! I'm begging you. I can't die knowing I ruined her!

-And there it was, the origin of my name, played out in my raw reaction. I was living up to the legend, no matter how hard I'd fought to deter the binds of my bloodline.-

Lassiter:

<Both brows shot up and did a mingling act amongst my multi-colour hair when the female finally spoke. And of course she couldn't be like any other creature just coming to after a near death experience. She had quite the silver tongue. Wasn't she supposed to have a case of the where-am-Is and what-happeneds?

I guess not. What's worse was that suddenly my comrade in life saving arms had heard her choice words and was hosting himself a shit show. That was rather unexpected, too. What the fuck was with vampires tonight? I was at a loss.

Before I could ask these two all the WTFs he shot up like a jack in the box and took a serious sway before attempting to grab ahold of my wing. My arms reached out to help steady Jagger as my white eyes looked at him with concern. His yelling wasn't unfounded and for once I wished I had Dr. Phil’s personal number so I could get some solid advice on how to diffuse this situation.

Both hands grasped at Jagger’s biceps, squeezing hard enough to stop his freak out and have him pay attention to me. I kept my voice level and soothing, hoping it would only serve to keep him from a full on panic attack.>

Hey. Listen to me. There is no way she's talking about your blood. If it was rancid do you think she would be able to speak right now?! No. She’d still be mute and waiting for death to open the door. Now, if it was my blood she drank, I could see her saying something like that because while I may be a servant of God, I offer zero nutritional value to a vampire and drinking my blood is like eating candy. <I broke eye contact from Jagger to look down at the female, sending her a proper chastising glare for her poor choice of words as I continued to speak.> Isn't that right, Blondie? Tell Jagger you weren't speaking about him.

Jagger

-Those strong hands came around my arms but the vice grip did a whole lot of nothing to stop the spin of my mind, heart and fractured soul. Lassiter’s words made their way into the noggin but ended up on puree with the rest of the contents in my blender, the only thing ringing clear was the word rancid. The culmination of my greatest fears had arrived and the walls were closing in. A part of me wanted to collapse into the angel, my gut telling me he could handle the burden, but the phantom threat of suffocation materialized with a toothy smile and a mean bite.

Last I checked, oxygen was critical to survival and I still couldn’t breathe. Judging by the gallop of my heart, I wasn’t dead yet but if I didn’t escape the straightjacket of my destiny, I was going to expire… Here lies Jagger, daddy’s shame, half breed, pretty boy scum. I didn’t want to be him and yet I couldn’t escape the injury his words and rejection had inflicted.

A surge of adrenaline had me ripping free of Lassiter’s hold and I couldn’t look at the female or verbalize any kind of explanation to him before I bolted like a bull out of the pen. There was only one way I could go and it was out where there were no walls. I was conscious when opening up the door not to let it idle, closing it behind me despite how things were fraying far beyond the edges.. No matter the obscenity of my blood running through her veins I wouldn’t subject the female to involuntary manslaughter via a bath of sunbeams. Lassiter would heal her of the filth that had been her savior. He had to.

He -HAD- to.

I collapsed to my knees after clearing the steps of my home, hyperventilating and squinting against the brightness of daylight. Everything I feared about myself been confirmed in the turn of a night. I couldn’t deal with anymore of my birthright coming to fruition but in some mind fuck, side effect of “saving” the female’s life, I had been less willing to walk away from my own. This was an deviation to what seemed a solid plan. The outlaw called will planted his ass at the bar of my fate and the stubborn bastard didn’t seem in a hurry to make any exit.

I worried my mother’s cross between my finger and thumb, praying for enlightenment, wanting the steadiness and security from it she’d brought to me in her too-short life. I came up empty, save for the realization that I was doomed to serve out my sentence of solitary confinement in the wasteland of my father’s depravity.-

Lassiter:

<My reflexes were slow with my attention zeroed in on the female, waiting impatiently for her to reassure Jagger to the point that when he tore himself free of my hold, I was useless to stop him. When he charged toward the front door, I had assumed he was pulling a me with a pacing routine but was proven wrong when his hand gripped the handle and he swung it open. Was he on fucking a suicide mission?!>

JAGGER?! What the fuck!

<I was shocked at the care he took to make sure the door was closed just as quickly as he had opened it and in an effort to ensure his safety, I vanished myself to the other side of it lest I put the female we had JUST saved at further risk. I was confident she wasn’t going anywhere and since she had been useless in reassuring him, she could sit tight where she was. My jaw dropped slightly when I didn’t find a pile of flaming vampire ash, but instead, the guy on his knees in the grass with his hand clutched tightly to the cross I had only returned to him less than thirty minutes ago.

At this point, I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do, this entire night, and now day had gone straight to hell and was hanging out with Devina and her wall of greasy trapped souls. As I stepped up behind Jagger, my hand fell to his shoulder and I gave it a firm squeeze, showing him my silent support before dropping down next to him. I waited a few moments for him to say something and when he didn’t, I filled the silence for him.> So...you can hang in the sun, eh?

Jagger

-It was shortly after I’d sucked in the sunshine via heavy pants that I heard the loud call of my name courtesy of Lassiter. I swallowed thickly, my brows pinching together while emotions went cyclone. In one utterance of my name there was desperation, disbelief, anger and… concern, a chord of emotions from a near stranger. Was that an angel thing? I tried to process how this dude I just met could be worried for me and became overwhelmed. To the male who held responsibility for half my DNA I had been a stain, unwanted, someone to discard or destroy. I kept swallowing, my eyes dropping closed when Lassiter’s hand gripped my shoulder, that squeeze like his earlier approval, fulfilling something I’d never known I’d needed, bandaging unseen wounds though I didn’t get how.

And then... he didn’t abandon me, instead popping a squat right next to me, dispelling all expectations I had been conditioned to. I ran a hand through my hair because my worry needed some kind of outlet then glanced to the side just as he asked about the sun on the tail end of a sigh. Was that relief? Another shocker. Yeah, his features were washed with relief and salt stung at the corner of my eyes because it stirred something buried way deep.

Fuck. Was this like Highway to Heaven, the vampire reality version?

Lassiter was rocking a hell of a lot more swagger and was easier on the eyes than Jonathan.

Shaking myself, taken aback by my own thought that shot through my mind like an arrow out of nowhere. Where was all this coming from? Blood loss? True insanity? Some sort of weird mind-numbing effect so I wouldn’t remember him when he was gone?

Hello chest pang.

Weird.

Maybe I really was losing it.

I scrubbed my hand over my face, hoping that it would work like some kind of off switch, but, yeah… nope. Trying to put chaos into order was only feeding the internal anarchy. I concentrated my effort on forcing myself out of the catatonic shell Lassiter was dealing with, muttering a few words.-

Yeah, you’re the first to sound pleased about it.

Lassiter:

<My ability to be patient as I waited out any kind of answer from Jagger must have been fueled exclusively by the exhaustion I could feel settling deep in my body. I was grateful for the time he needed to work through what I thought was a very simple question, because in those long moments of silence, I absorbed as much of the sun’s rays as I could. My wings fanned out in a wide stretch behind me, creating as much surface area as possible to recharge my energy because it was becoming clear very quickly I would not be seeing my bed and pillow any time soon. Nor would I be enjoying a Big Mac like I had wanted, nope. I had a couple of vamps with their super sized issues to chew through first. No doubt the two of them were bound to give me a case of indigestion from all the stress.

As my skin warmed under the heat of the sun and while I normally took great pleasure in the relaxation it brought me, I couldn’t take my eyes off the emotions displayed on Jagger’s face as he worked to find an answer for me. When he finally spoke, I had a hard time masking my surprise.>

Dude. Of course I’m pleased you’re not a smoking pile of ashes right now. The Bossman would have both my wings and halo if I failed now. Especially after all the shit that has gone down tonight. <I pushed both hands through my long multi-coloured hair, tugging on the ends and muttered a few equally colourful curses under my breath.> First the car wreck I had to redirect, then the female beginning her transition and the male who had to be convinced to help her. Followed by that one in there getting dumped in an alley by that limping cocksucker…and now you on a damn suicide mission. Fuck. This is what I get for bitching about being bored. Point taken, God. You win this round.

<My shoulders felt tight with recounting the stress of my night and just like I always did when worked up over a situation, I rose to my feet, toed off my vans and socks and began to pace. The cool, dewy blades of grass felt underfoot was different from the plush woven threads of the fancy-ass rugs in the hall of statues but the textures and contrast was just what I needed to feel my emotions settle and my head work itself clear. When it did, I stopped in front of Jagger and folded my arms across my chest, ready to get back to work.> You know she wasn’t talking about you, right? I can feel it. You just saved her from death with your vein, there’s no reasonable way she was actually calling YOU rancid. I bet the most valuable thing I own that she wasn’t talking about you, Jagger. Do you think you could go back inside with me so she can explain?

Jagger

-My heart did a little free fall in my chest as realization dawned when Lassiter explained his happiness at my still-breathing routine.

I had been an idiot. Yep. Hook, line and sinker, I’d fallen for the appeal of some kind of personal investment. Desperation was a bitch and I had forty years accrued. I resisted the urge to smack myself on the head for thinking in the turn of a couple of hours I could have actually earned approval for who I was. It was nice for the fifteen minutes it lasted, just to taste what my father had denied me. At least I wouldn’t die without knowing what it felt like. I wouldn’t hold the sins of my father against the angel. He didn’t deserve that shit or my head case on his plate.

But here I was. A job. A mission. Or whatever it was God doled out. My brain was far too scrambled to deal with technicalities. What was worse was the fact that I was someone’s punishment. Way to make a list, Jagger.

I kept the surging emotions locked up nice and tight, vacuum sealing them with an inhale before Lassiter stopped in front of me, rays of sun fanning out behind him. He wore the exhaustion of his eventful night in those moonlit irises of his, rimmed with the faintest tint of blue. When they locked onto mine, it was as if they held me physically in place. Despite the figurative smack to the head that came along with the realization I’d fantasized his acceptance, his barefoot pacing and disclosure of his own shit night worked like a rope I could use to pull myself out of the hole of my wallowing. It was time to hold onto my balls and prepare to deal with whatever the female inside had to say. I nodded.-

I’m willing to hear her out, but you’ve gotta promise me that if it’s my blood that’s rancid you’re going to do right by her, heal her like you did my face.

-I swallowed hard, because apparently stating that out loud made me feel something again. Christ… my night had been as fucked as Lassiter’s own. First with Assail and his bulldogs and then with all this. The sooner we got it all over with, the better. For both of us.-

Lassiter:

<Jagger’s easy agreement to my request had my hand shooting out in an offer to help him up, not wanting him to have any second thoughts or to decline me the way he initially had when I asked him to help save the broken female. As he put his palm in mine and I squeezed it to help him up, a bevy of feelings travelled up my arm. It wasn’t intentional and felt similarly to how the memories of his cross hit me, along with his feelings came the distant echoes of his past, trying to catch up like the slowest runner in a marathon. Resignation, disappointment, longing, upset and worthlessness were all rolled up in a nice neat package, topped with a bright shiny bow of rejection. Hello, complication.

My brows knit together as I gave Jagger a long, assessing look. How the fuck could one person host all those feelings? Keeping ahold of his hand, I stood firm where I was and zeroed my eyes on his, conviction shining bright as my voice came out low and full of authority.>

I have no idea why you’re feeling the way you are or why you seem to think there is something wrong with your blood, but I promise you that’s not the case. You wouldn’t have been able to save her as quickly as you had if it was lacking in any way. Just like I healed your face… <My free hand lifted to the spot Jagger had been busted open, fingertips brushing over his skin oh so lightly but enough that I could push my way into the shallows of his thoughts. Maybe I was cheating by using my powers or perhaps even padding the deck in my favour but I needed to get a leg up on the insight his touch had inadvertently offered me. What filled the big screen of my mind had me shaking my head and pulling the guy in for a strong armed hug, whispering low in his ear.>

I’m sorry you’ve had a shit show of a night, too, my friend. You have no idea how grateful I am for how you helped in a way I couldn’t.

<Choosing to focus on the events of Jagger’s evening rather than the emotional scars that had made themselves prominent, I released him, hoping he would stay none the wiser to my stolen knowledge. Pulling back on my mask of care-free nonchalance, I tilted my head toward the house only a dozen feet away.> I’ll meet you inside when you’re ready. <Nodding once, I left him no opportunity to say anything else and disappeared myself back in the house with the female, knowing exactly what needed to be done.>

[buymyblood]

Part One- The morning after (with @InMyOwnMhis and @HowBoutDemWings)

Ambellina:

~During my foray into the black nothingness of my subconscious, time was of no consequence. I wasn't aware of where I was or what was happening to me after Rhancid had ravaged my vein with his fangs and all but sucked me dry. He could have done anything to me all he wanted and I was helpless to stop it. I knew I wasn't in the Fade, yet, I could still register the distant pain of my wounds he had given me. Whether or not I was still in his company, I hadn't a clue, but there was nothing I could do about that at the moment.

I was fine to remain trapped within my mind until I felt the warmth of something dripping down the back of my throat. Like a tap that slowly leaked into a sink basin, the liquid pooled until my natural instincts took over and I swallowed it down. Blood. Warm, delicious and desperately needed blood. Thank the Scribe Virgin herself for whomever had saw fit to aid me. The flavour was deep and rich, like a dark chocolate and it felt like a potent salve as it slid down my throat that I had worn raw from screaming for help.

Weak sucks and pulls against whatever body part had been placed at my lips happened as my body absorbed the energy afforded to me from the vein I had been so generously offered. Awareness had yet to join my reawakening party but that was quite fine by me, I didn't have the desire to divide my energy nor did I care to figure out just where I was while I took as much as I could swallow down between shallow breaths of air.

Gradually, I felt the shut down parts of my body come back to me. Senses I had lost began to register and my mind worked sluggishly to process any information it could gather. I could smell the blood I was taking in along with the scent of two males, and some kind of liquor albeit that was more muted but continued to linger in the air while hushed voices spoke. I couldn't quite make out what was being said, but relief flooded me at the realization that neither one belonged to the asshole who had tried to suck me straight into the Fade.

Despite my weakened state, my mind was the first to return back to a fiery state of anger and when my belly was full and I could feel my wounds begin the arduous task of self-repair, I called it quits on the vein, I had taken plenty enough to recover. I was forever grateful to the owner of that vein and as soon as I was physically able, I would see to it that my blood debt was paid in full and with interest. Until such time, I mentally clung to the hatred I felt at the way my plan had failed. My voice was still raspy as I spit out my malice for the male who had done this to me.~ Rhancid... piece of shit.

Jagger

-I could see what he had referenced in her improvement and I could feel my own vigor had lightened. The effects of my final tap of Haven's vein were all but negligible. Lassiter probably thought I was stone cold stupid for my perceived lack of comprehension. There were no Cliff Notes for my metric ton of baggage. Where in the hell did I even start to explain?

Fatigue set it. Mental. Physical. Spiritual.

All of the above. Check.

My moral elasticity had been tested without warm up, but even with the female looking a lot less like she was about to push some daisies, there was no euphoria that came from saving her life.

I wasn't hopeless, in fact it was somewhat miraculous I was on the edge of feeling content with what I'd done. Gave her a chance. And there was something else.

There was a foreign twist in my chest and it hit me when I thought about having done right by Lassiter. He'd returned my only possession of sentimental significance and then blew my ever loving mind. That...tenderness he'd exhibited had straight up unlocked a long forgotten door. A place I'd never ventured. The suffering for a male's approval.

Fuck.

Welcome to the Tilt-A-Whirl, mind. Only a lifetime supply of issues for a ride.

I was trying not to freak and on the verge of convincing myself I done the right thing, permanent stain in my DNA and all, when she woke. Within a few fleeting moments she confirmed in a succinct string of words my monstrous fears.

Rancid. My blood was rancid. The virulence of my blood had not been lost on a female just coming to.

Standing back up, immediately hit with a head rush, my arm shot out and my fist caught some of those feathers on the underside of Lassiter's wing. I tried to steady my watery vision to find those eyes of the angel's. I couldn't draw oxygen on my desperate inhales, but I forced out my plea.-

Heal her! Rancid... It's rancid! I'm begging you. I can't die knowing I ruined her!

-And there it was, the origin of my name, played out in my raw reaction. I was living up to the legend, no matter how hard I'd fought to deter the binds of my bloodline.-

Lassiter:

<Both brows shot up and did a mingling act amongst my multi-colour hair when the female finally spoke. And of course she couldn't be like any other creature just coming to after a near death experience. She had quite the silver tongue. Wasn't she supposed to have a case of the where-am-Is and what-happeneds?

I guess not. What's worse was that suddenly my comrade in life saving arms had heard her choice words and was hosting himself a shit show. That was rather unexpected, too. What the fuck was with vampires tonight? I was at a loss.

Before I could ask these two all the WTFs he shot up like a jack in the box and took a serious sway before attempting to grab ahold of my wing. My arms reached out to help steady Jagger as my white eyes looked at him with concern. His yelling wasn't unfounded and for once I wished I had Dr. Phil’s personal number so I could get some solid advice on how to diffuse this situation.

Both hands grasped at Jagger’s biceps, squeezing hard enough to stop his freak out and have him pay attention to me. I kept my voice level and soothing, hoping it would only serve to keep him from a full on panic attack.>

Hey. Listen to me. There is no way she's talking about your blood. If it was rancid do you think she would be able to speak right now?! No. She’d still be mute and waiting for death to open the door. Now, if it was my blood she drank, I could see her saying something like that because while I may be a servant of God, I offer zero nutritional value to a vampire and drinking my blood is like eating candy. <I broke eye contact from Jagger to look down at the female, sending her a proper chastising glare for her poor choice of words as I continued to speak.> Isn't that right, Blondie? Tell Jagger you weren't speaking about him.

Jagger

-Those strong hands came around my arms but the vice grip did a whole lot of nothing to stop the spin of my mind, heart and fractured soul. Lassiter’s words made their way into the noggin but ended up on puree with the rest of the contents in my blender, the only thing ringing clear was the word rancid. The culmination of my greatest fears had arrived and the walls were closing in. A part of me wanted to collapse into the angel, my gut telling me he could handle the burden, but the phantom threat of suffocation materialized with a toothy smile and a mean bite.

Last I checked, oxygen was critical to survival and I still couldn’t breathe. Judging by the gallop of my heart, I wasn’t dead yet but if I didn’t escape the straightjacket of my destiny, I was going to expire… Here lies Jagger, daddy’s shame, half breed, pretty boy scum. I didn’t want to be him and yet I couldn’t escape the injury his words and rejection had inflicted.

A surge of adrenaline had me ripping free of Lassiter’s hold and I couldn’t look at the female or verbalize any kind of explanation to him before I bolted like a bull out of the pen. There was only one way I could go and it was out where there were no walls. I was conscious when opening up the door not to let it idle, closing it behind me despite how things were fraying far beyond the edges.. No matter the obscenity of my blood running through her veins I wouldn’t subject the female to involuntary manslaughter via a bath of sunbeams. Lassiter would heal her of the filth that had been her savior. He had to.

He -HAD- to.

I collapsed to my knees after clearing the steps of my home, hyperventilating and squinting against the brightness of daylight. Everything I feared about myself been confirmed in the turn of a night. I couldn’t deal with anymore of my birthright coming to fruition but in some mind fuck, side effect of “saving” the female’s life, I had been less willing to walk away from my own. This was an deviation to what seemed a solid plan. The outlaw called will planted his ass at the bar of my fate and the stubborn bastard didn’t seem in a hurry to make any exit.

I worried my mother’s cross between my finger and thumb, praying for enlightenment, wanting the steadiness and security from it she’d brought to me in her too-short life. I came up empty, save for the realization that I was doomed to serve out my sentence of solitary confinement in the wasteland of my father’s depravity.-

Lassiter:

<My reflexes were slow with my attention zeroed in on the female, waiting impatiently for her to reassure Jagger to the point that when he tore himself free of my hold, I was useless to stop him. When he charged toward the front door, I had assumed he was pulling a me with a pacing routine but was proven wrong when his hand gripped the handle and he swung it open. Was he on fucking a suicide mission?!>

JAGGER?! What the fuck!

<I was shocked at the care he took to make sure the door was closed just as quickly as he had opened it and in an effort to ensure his safety, I vanished myself to the other side of it lest I put the female we had JUST saved at further risk. I was confident she wasn’t going anywhere and since she had been useless in reassuring him, she could sit tight where she was. My jaw dropped slightly when I didn’t find a pile of flaming vampire ash, but instead, the guy on his knees in the grass with his hand clutched tightly to the cross I had only returned to him less than thirty minutes ago.

At this point, I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do, this entire night, and now day had gone straight to hell and was hanging out with Devina and her wall of greasy trapped souls. As I stepped up behind Jagger, my hand fell to his shoulder and I gave it a firm squeeze, showing him my silent support before dropping down next to him. I waited a few moments for him to say something and when he didn’t, I filled the silence for him.> So...you can hang in the sun, eh?

Jagger

-It was shortly after I’d sucked in the sunshine via heavy pants that I heard the loud call of my name courtesy of Lassiter. I swallowed thickly, my brows pinching together while emotions went cyclone. In one utterance of my name there was desperation, disbelief, anger and… concern, a chord of emotions from a near stranger. Was that an angel thing? I tried to process how this dude I just met could be worried for me and became overwhelmed. To the male who held responsibility for half my DNA I had been a stain, unwanted, someone to discard or destroy. I kept swallowing, my eyes dropping closed when Lassiter’s hand gripped my shoulder, that squeeze like his earlier approval, fulfilling something I’d never known I’d needed, bandaging unseen wounds though I didn’t get how.

And then... he didn’t abandon me, instead popping a squat right next to me, dispelling all expectations I had been conditioned to. I ran a hand through my hair because my worry needed some kind of outlet then glanced to the side just as he asked about the sun on the tail end of a sigh. Was that relief? Another shocker. Yeah, his features were washed with relief and salt stung at the corner of my eyes because it stirred something buried way deep.

Fuck. Was this like Highway to Heaven, the vampire reality version?

Lassiter was rocking a hell of a lot more swagger and was easier on the eyes than Jonathan.

Shaking myself, taken aback by my own thought that shot through my mind like an arrow out of nowhere. Where was all this coming from? Blood loss? True insanity? Some sort of weird mind-numbing effect so I wouldn’t remember him when he was gone?

Hello chest pang.

Weird.

Maybe I really was losing it.

I scrubbed my hand over my face, hoping that it would work like some kind of off switch, but, yeah… nope. Trying to put chaos into order was only feeding the internal anarchy. I concentrated my effort on forcing myself out of the catatonic shell Lassiter was dealing with, muttering a few words.-

Yeah, you’re the first to sound pleased about it.

Lassiter:

<My ability to be patient as I waited out any kind of answer from Jagger must have been fueled exclusively by the exhaustion I could feel settling deep in my body. I was grateful for the time he needed to work through what I thought was a very simple question, because in those long moments of silence, I absorbed as much of the sun’s rays as I could. My wings fanned out in a wide stretch behind me, creating as much surface area as possible to recharge my energy because it was becoming clear very quickly I would not be seeing my bed and pillow any time soon. Nor would I be enjoying a Big Mac like I had wanted, nope. I had a couple of vamps with their super sized issues to chew through first. No doubt the two of them were bound to give me a case of indigestion from all the stress.

As my skin warmed under the heat of the sun and while I normally took great pleasure in the relaxation it brought me, I couldn’t take my eyes off the emotions displayed on Jagger’s face as he worked to find an answer for me. When he finally spoke, I had a hard time masking my surprise.>

Dude. Of course I’m pleased you’re not a smoking pile of ashes right now. The Bossman would have both my wings and halo if I failed now. Especially after all the shit that has gone down tonight. <I pushed both hands through my long multi-coloured hair, tugging on the ends and muttered a few equally colourful curses under my breath.> First the car wreck I had to redirect, then the female beginning her transition and the male who had to be convinced to help her. Followed by that one in there getting dumped in an alley by that limping cocksucker…and now you on a damn suicide mission. Fuck. This is what I get for bitching about being bored. Point taken, God. You win this round.

<My shoulders felt tight with recounting the stress of my night and just like I always did when worked up over a situation, I rose to my feet, toed off my vans and socks and began to pace. The cool, dewy blades of grass felt underfoot was different from the plush woven threads of the fancy-ass rugs in the hall of statues but the textures and contrast was just what I needed to feel my emotions settle and my head work itself clear. When it did, I stopped in front of Jagger and folded my arms across my chest, ready to get back to work.> You know she wasn’t talking about you, right? I can feel it. You just saved her from death with your vein, there’s no reasonable way she was actually calling YOU rancid. I bet the most valuable thing I own that she wasn’t talking about you, Jagger. Do you think you could go back inside with me so she can explain?

Jagger

-My heart did a little free fall in my chest as realization dawned when Lassiter explained his happiness at my still-breathing routine.

I had been an idiot. Yep. Hook, line and sinker, I’d fallen for the appeal of some kind of personal investment. Desperation was a bitch and I had forty years accrued. I resisted the urge to smack myself on the head for thinking in the turn of a couple of hours I could have actually earned approval for who I was. It was nice for the fifteen minutes it lasted, just to taste what my father had denied me. At least I wouldn’t die without knowing what it felt like. I wouldn’t hold the sins of my father against the angel. He didn’t deserve that shit or my head case on his plate.

But here I was. A job. A mission. Or whatever it was God doled out. My brain was far too scrambled to deal with technicalities. What was worse was the fact that I was someone’s punishment. Way to make a list, Jagger.

I kept the surging emotions locked up nice and tight, vacuum sealing them with an inhale before Lassiter stopped in front of me, rays of sun fanning out behind him. He wore the exhaustion of his eventful night in those moonlit irises of his, rimmed with the faintest tint of blue. When they locked onto mine, it was as if they held me physically in place. Despite the figurative smack to the head that came along with the realization I’d fantasized his acceptance, his barefoot pacing and disclosure of his own shit night worked like a rope I could use to pull myself out of the hole of my wallowing. It was time to hold onto my balls and prepare to deal with whatever the female inside had to say. I nodded.-

I’m willing to hear her out, but you’ve gotta promise me that if it’s my blood that’s rancid you’re going to do right by her, heal her like you did my face.

-I swallowed hard, because apparently stating that out loud made me feel something again. Christ… my night had been as fucked as Lassiter’s own. First with Assail and his bulldogs and then with all this. The sooner we got it all over with, the better. For both of us.-

Lassiter:

<Jagger’s easy agreement to my request had my hand shooting out in an offer to help him up, not wanting him to have any second thoughts or to decline me the way he initially had when I asked him to help save the broken female. As he put his palm in mine and I squeezed it to help him up, a bevy of feelings travelled up my arm. It wasn’t intentional and felt similarly to how the memories of his cross hit me, along with his feelings came the distant echoes of his past, trying to catch up like the slowest runner in a marathon. Resignation, disappointment, longing, upset and worthlessness were all rolled up in a nice neat package, topped with a bright shiny bow of rejection. Hello, complication.

My brows knit together as I gave Jagger a long, assessing look. How the fuck could one person host all those feelings? Keeping ahold of his hand, I stood firm where I was and zeroed my eyes on his, conviction shining bright as my voice came out low and full of authority.>

I have no idea why you’re feeling the way you are or why you seem to think there is something wrong with your blood, but I promise you that’s not the case. You wouldn’t have been able to save her as quickly as you had if it was lacking in any way. Just like I healed your face… <My free hand lifted to the spot Jagger had been busted open, fingertips brushing over his skin oh so lightly but enough that I could push my way into the shallows of his thoughts. Maybe I was cheating by using my powers or perhaps even padding the deck in my favour but I needed to get a leg up on the insight his touch had inadvertently offered me. What filled the big screen of my mind had me shaking my head and pulling the guy in for a strong armed hug, whispering low in his ear.>

I’m sorry you’ve had a shit show of a night, too, my friend. You have no idea how grateful I am for how you helped in a way I couldn’t.

<Choosing to focus on the events of Jagger’s evening rather than the emotional scars that had made themselves prominent, I released him, hoping he would stay none the wiser to my stolen knowledge. Pulling back on my mask of care-free nonchalance, I tilted my head toward the house only a dozen feet away.> I’ll meet you inside when you’re ready. <Nodding once, I left him no opportunity to say anything else and disappeared myself back in the house with the female, knowing exactly what needed to be done.>

[inmyownmhis]

The Morning After - Part 1 - With @BuyMyBlood & @HowBoutDemWings

Ambellina:

~During my foray into the black nothingness of my subconscious, time was of no consequence. I wasn't aware of where I was or what was happening to me after Rhancid had ravaged my vein with his fangs and all but sucked me dry. He could have done anything to me all he wanted and I was helpless to stop it. I knew I wasn't in the Fade, yet, I could still register the distant pain of my wounds he had given me. Whether or not I was still in his company, I hadn't a clue, but there was nothing I could do about that at the moment.

I was fine to remain trapped within my mind until I felt the warmth of something dripping down the back of my throat. Like a tap that slowly leaked into a sink basin, the liquid pooled until my natural instincts took over and I swallowed it down. Blood. Warm, delicious and desperately needed blood. Thank the Scribe Virgin herself for whomever had saw fit to aid me. The flavour was deep and rich, like a dark chocolate and it felt like a potent salve as it slid down my throat that I had worn raw from screaming for help. Weak sucks and pulls against whatever body part had been placed at my lips happened as my body absorbed the energy afforded to me from the vein I had been so generously offered. Awareness had yet to join my reawakening party but that was quite fine by me, I didn't have the desire to divide my energy nor did I care to figure out just where I was while I took as much as I could swallow down between shallow breaths of air.

Gradually, I felt the shut down parts of my body come back to me. Senses I had lost began to register and my mind worked sluggishly to process any information it could gather. I could smell the blood I was taking in along with the scent of two males, and some kind of liquor albeit that was more muted but continued to linger in the air while hushed voices spoke. I couldn't quite make out what was being said, but relief flooded me at the realization that neither one belonged to the asshole who had tried to suck me straight into the Fade. Despite my weakened state, my mind was the first to return back to a fiery state of anger and when my belly was full and I could feel my wounds begin the arduous task of self-repair, I called it quits on the vein, I had taken plenty enough to recover. I was forever grateful to the owner of that vein and as soon as I was physically able, I would see to it that my blood debt was paid in full and with interest. Until such time, I mentally clung to the hatred I felt at the way my plan had failed. My voice was still raspy as I spit out my malice for the male who had done this to me.~ Rhancid... piece of shit.

Jagger

-I could see what he had referenced in her improvement and I could feel my own vigor had lightened. The effects of my final tap of Haven's vein were all but negligible. Lassiter probably thought I was stone cold stupid for my perceived lack of comprehension. There were no Cliff Notes for my metric ton of baggage. Where in the hell did I even start to explain? Fatigue set it. Mental. Physical. Spiritual. All of the above. Check. My moral elasticity had been tested without warm up, but even with the female looking a lot less like she was about to push some daisies, there was no euphoria that came from saving her life. I wasn't hopeless, in fact it was somewhat miraculous I was on the edge of feeling content with what I'd done. Gave her a chance. And there was something else. There was a foreign twist in my chest and it hit me when I thought about having done right by Lassiter. He'd returned my only possession of sentimental significance and then blew my ever loving mind. That...tenderness he'd exhibited had straight up unlocked a long forgotten door. A place I'd never ventured. The suffering for a male's approval. Fuck. Welcome to the Tilt-A-Whirl, mind. Only a lifetime supply of issues for a ride. I was trying not to freak and on the verge of convincing myself I done the right thing, permanent stain in my DNA and all, when she woke. Within a few fleeting moments she confirmed in a succinct string of words my monstrous fears. Rancid. My blood was rancid. The virulence of my blood had not been lost on a female just coming to. Standing back up, immediately hit with a head rush, my arm shot out and my fist caught some of those feathers on the underside of Lassiter's wing. I tried to steady my watery vision to find those eyes of the angel's. I couldn't draw oxygen on my desperate inhales, but I forced out my plea.- Heal her! Rancid... It's rancid! I'm begging you. I can't die knowing I ruined her! -And there it was, the origin of my name, played out in my raw reaction. I was living up to the legend, no matter how hard I'd fought to deter the binds of my bloodline.-

Lassiter:

<Both brows shot up and did a mingling act amongst my multi-colour hair when the female finally spoke. And of course she couldn't be like any other creature just coming to after a near death experience. She had quite the silver tongue. Wasn't she supposed to have a case of the where-am-Is and what-happeneds?

I guess not. What's worse was that suddenly my comrade in life saving arms had heard her choice words and was hosting himself a shit show. That was rather unexpected, too. What the fuck was with vampires tonight? I was at a loss.

Before I could ask these two all the WTFs he shot up like a jack in the box and took a serious sway before attempting to grab ahold of my wing. My arms reached out to help steady Jagger as my white eyes looked at him with concern. His yelling wasn't unfounded and for once I wished I had Dr. Phil’s personal number so I could get some solid advice on how to diffuse this situation.

Both hands grasped at Jagger’s biceps, squeezing hard enough to stop his freak out and have him pay attention to me. I kept my voice level and soothing, hoping it would only serve to keep him from a full on panic attack.>

Hey. Listen to me. There is no way she's talking about your blood. If it was rancid do you think she would be able to speak right now?! No. She’d still be mute and waiting for death to open the door. Now, if it was my blood she drank, I could see her saying something like that because while I may be a servant of God, I offer zero nutritional value to a vampire and drinking my blood is like eating candy. <I broke eye contact from Jagger to look down at the female, sending her a proper chastising glare for her poor choice of words as I continued to speak.> Isn't that right, Blondie? Tell Jagger you weren't speaking about him.

Jagger

-Those strong hands came around my arms but the vice grip did a whole lot of nothing to stop the spin of my mind, heart and fractured soul. Lassiter’s words made their way into the noggin but ended up on puree with the rest of the contents in my blender, the only thing ringing clear was the word rancid. The culmination of my greatest fears had arrived and the walls were closing in. A part of me wanted to collapse into the angel, my gut telling me he could handle the burden, but the phantom threat of suffocation materialized with a toothy smile and a mean bite.

Last I checked, oxygen was critical to survival and I still couldn’t breathe. Judging by the gallop of my heart, I wasn’t dead yet but if I didn’t escape the straightjacket of my destiny, I was going to expire… Here lies Jagger, daddy’s shame, half breed, pretty boy scum. I didn’t want to be him and yet I couldn’t escape the injury his words and rejection had inflicted.

A surge of adrenaline had me ripping free of Lassiter’s hold and I couldn’t look at the female or verbalize any kind of explanation to him before I bolted like a bull out of the pen. There was only one way I could go and it was out where there were no walls. I was conscious when opening up the door not to let it idle, closing it behind me despite how things were fraying far beyond the edges.. No matter the obscenity of my blood running through her veins I wouldn’t subject the female to involuntary manslaughter via a bath of sunbeams. Lassiter would heal her of the filth that had been her savior. He had to.

He -HAD- to.  

I collapsed to my knees after clearing the steps of my home, hyperventilating and squinting against the brightness of daylight. Everything I feared about myself been confirmed in the turn of a night. I couldn’t deal with anymore of my birthright coming to fruition but in some mind fuck, side effect of “saving” the female’s life, I had been less willing to walk away from my own. This was an deviation to what seemed a solid plan. The outlaw called will planted his ass at the bar of my fate and the stubborn bastard didn’t seem in a hurry to make any exit.

I worried my mother’s cross between my finger and thumb, praying for enlightenment, wanting the steadiness and security from it she’d brought to me in her too-short life. I came up empty, save for the realization that I was doomed to serve out my sentence of solitary confinement in the wasteland of my father’s depravity.-

Lassiter:

<My reflexes were slow with my attention zeroed in on the female, waiting impatiently for her to reassure Jagger to the point that when he tore himself free of my hold, I was useless to stop him. When he charged toward the front door, I had assumed he was pulling a me with a pacing routine but was proven wrong when his hand gripped the handle and he swung it open. Was he on fucking a suicide mission?!>

JAGGER?! What the fuck!

<I was shocked at the care he took to make sure the door was closed just as quickly as he had opened it and in an effort to ensure his safety, I vanished myself to the other side of it lest I put the female we had JUST saved at further risk. I was confident she wasn’t going anywhere and since she had been useless in reassuring him, she could sit tight where she was. My jaw dropped slightly when I didn’t find a pile of flaming vampire ash, but instead, the guy on his knees in the grass with his hand clutched tightly to the cross I had only returned to him less than thirty minutes ago.

At this point, I wasn’t sure what the fuck to do, this entire night, and now day had gone straight to hell and was hanging out with Devina and her wall of greasy trapped souls. As I stepped up behind Jagger, my hand fell to his shoulder and I gave it a firm squeeze, showing him my silent support before dropping down next to him. I waited a few moments for him to say something and when he didn’t, I filled the silence for him.> So...you can hang in the sun, eh?

Jagger

-It was shortly after I’d sucked in the sunshine via heavy pants that I heard the loud call of my name courtesy of Lassiter. I swallowed thickly, my brows pinching together while emotions went cyclone. In one utterance of my name there was desperation, disbelief, anger and… concern, a chord of emotions from a near stranger. Was that an angel thing? I tried to process how this dude I just met could be worried for me and became overwhelmed. To the male who held responsibility for half my DNA I had been a stain, unwanted, someone to discard or destroy. I kept swallowing, my eyes dropping closed when Lassiter’s hand gripped my shoulder, that squeeze like his earlier approval, fulfilling something I’d never known I’d needed, bandaging unseen wounds though I didn’t get how.

And then... he didn’t abandon me, instead popping a squat right next to me, dispelling all expectations I had been conditioned to. I ran a hand through my hair because my worry needed some kind of outlet then glanced to the side just as he asked about the sun on the tail end of a sigh. Was that relief? Another shocker. Yeah, his features were washed with relief and salt stung at the corner of my eyes because it stirred something buried way deep.

Fuck. Was this like Highway to Heaven, the vampire reality version?

Lassiter was rocking a hell of a lot more swagger and was easier on the eyes than Jonathan.

Shaking myself, taken aback by my own thought that shot through my mind like an arrow out of nowhere. Where was all this coming from? Blood loss? True insanity? Some sort of weird mind-numbing effect so I wouldn’t remember him when he was gone?

Hello chest pang.

Weird.

Maybe I really was losing it.

I scrubbed my hand over my face, hoping that it would work like some kind of off switch, but, yeah… nope. Trying to put chaos into order was only feeding the internal anarchy. I concentrated my effort on forcing myself out of the catatonic shell Lassiter was dealing with, muttering a few words.-

Yeah, you’re the first to sound pleased about it.

Lassiter:

<My ability to be patient as I waited out any kind of answer from Jagger must have been fueled exclusively by the exhaustion I could feel settling deep in my body. I was grateful for the time he needed to work through what I thought was a very simple question, because in those long moments of silence, I absorbed as much of the sun’s rays as I could. My wings fanned out in a wide stretch behind me, creating as much surface area as possible to recharge my energy because it was becoming clear very quickly I would not be seeing my bed and pillow any time soon. Nor would I be enjoying a Big Mac like I had wanted, nope. I had a couple of vamps with their super sized issues to chew through first. No doubt the two of them were bound to give me a case of indigestion from all the stress.

As my skin warmed under the heat of the sun and while I normally took great pleasure in the relaxation it brought me, I couldn’t take my eyes off the emotions displayed on Jagger’s face as he worked to find an answer for me. When he finally spoke, I had a hard time masking my surprise.>

Dude. Of course I’m pleased you’re not a smoking pile of ashes right now. The Bossman would have both my wings and halo if I failed now. Especially after all the shit that has gone down tonight. <I pushed both hands through my long multi-coloured hair, tugging on the ends and muttered a few equally colourful curses under my breath.> First the car wreck I had to redirect, then the female beginning her transition and the male who had to be convinced to help her. Followed by that one in there getting dumped in an alley by that limping cocksucker…and now you on a damn suicide mission. Fuck. This is what I get for bitching about being bored. Point taken, God. You win this round.

<My shoulders felt tight with recounting the stress of my night and just like I always did when worked up over a situation, I rose to my feet, toed off my vans and socks and began to pace. The cool, dewy blades of grass felt underfoot was different from the plush woven threads of the fancy-ass rugs in the hall of statues but the textures and contrast was just what I needed to feel my emotions settle and my head work itself clear. When it did, I stopped in front of Jagger and folded my arms across my chest, ready to get back to work.> You know she wasn’t talking about you, right? I can feel it. You just saved her from death with your vein, there’s no reasonable way she was actually calling YOU rancid. I bet the most valuable thing I own that she wasn’t talking about you, Jagger. Do you think you could go back inside with me so she can explain?

Jagger

-My heart did a little free fall in my chest as realization dawned when Lassiter explained his happiness at my still-breathing routine.

I had been an idiot. Yep. Hook, line and sinker, I’d fallen for the appeal of some kind of personal investment. Desperation was a bitch and I had forty years accrued. I resisted the urge to smack myself on the head for thinking in the turn of a couple of hours I could have actually earned approval for who I was. It was nice for the fifteen minutes it lasted, just to taste what my father had denied me. At least I wouldn’t die without knowing what it felt like. I wouldn’t hold the sins of my father against the angel. He didn’t deserve that shit or my head case on his plate.

But here I was. A job. A mission. Or whatever it was God doled out. My brain was far too scrambled to deal with technicalities. What was worse was the fact that I was someone’s punishment. Way to make a list, Jagger.

I kept the surging emotions locked up nice and tight, vacuum sealing them with an inhale before Lassiter stopped in front of me, rays of sun fanning out behind him. He wore the exhaustion of his eventful night in those moonlit irises of his, rimmed with the faintest tint of blue. When they locked onto mine, it was as if they held me physically in place. Despite the figurative smack to the head that came along with the realization I’d fantasized his acceptance, his barefoot pacing and disclosure of his own shit night worked like a rope I could use to pull myself out of the hole of my wallowing. It was time to hold onto my balls and prepare to deal with whatever the female inside had to say. I nodded.-

I’m willing to hear her out, but you’ve gotta promise me that if it’s my blood that’s rancid you’re going to do right by her, heal her like you did my face.

-I swallowed hard, because apparently stating that out loud made me feel something again. Christ… my night had been as fucked as Lassiter’s own. First with Assail and his bulldogs and then with all this. The sooner we got it all over with, the better. For both of us.-

Lassiter:

<Jagger’s easy agreement to my request had my hand shooting out in an offer to help him up, not wanting him to have any second thoughts or to decline me the way he initially had when I asked him to help save the broken female. As he put his palm in mine and I squeezed it to help him up, a bevy of feelings travelled up my arm. It wasn’t intentional and felt similarly to how the memories of his cross hit me, along with his feelings came the distant echoes of his past, trying to catch up like the slowest runner in a marathon. Resignation, disappointment, longing, upset and worthlessness were all rolled up in a nice neat package, topped with a bright shiny bow of rejection. Hello, complication.

My brows knit together as I gave Jagger a long, assessing look. How the fuck could one person host all those feelings? Keeping ahold of his hand, I stood firm where I was and zeroed my eyes on his, conviction shining bright as my voice came out low and full of authority.>

I have no idea why you’re feeling the way you are or why you seem to think there is something wrong with your blood, but I promise you that’s not the case. You wouldn’t have been able to save her as quickly as you had if it was lacking in any way. Just like I healed your face… <My free hand lifted to the spot Jagger had been busted open, fingertips brushing over his skin oh so lightly but enough that I could push my way into the shallows of his thoughts. Maybe I was cheating by using my powers or perhaps even padding the deck in my favour but I needed to get a leg up on the insight his touch had inadvertently offered me. What filled the big screen of my mind had me shaking my head and pulling the guy in for a strong armed hug, whispering low in his ear.>

I’m sorry you’ve had a shit show of a night, too, my friend. You have no idea how grateful I am for how you helped in a way I couldn’t.

<Choosing to focus on the events of Jagger’s evening rather than the emotional scars that had made themselves prominent, I released him, hoping he would stay none the wiser to my stolen knowledge. Pulling back on my mask of care-free nonchalance, I tilted my head toward the house only a dozen feet away.> I’ll meet you inside when you’re ready. <Nodding once, I left him no opportunity to say anything else and disappeared myself back in the house with the female, knowing exactly what needed to be done.>